#he needs to see the consequences of the like impulsive trust in his own abilities thats carried him so far

[cockringhoratio]

i think “thank you for loving me” is possibly the worst manga panel of all time.

[yuikomorii]

🍓🎀Hi! I think in one of the post somebody ask you who is smarter, Ayato or Yui? And i think you reply saying that both are dumb and stupid lol but one is dumb and the other is stupid?? Lmaoo I can’t remember how exactly was, but what’s that supposed to mean? Like is Ayato smarter than Yui or reverse? Because I remember Ayato having his cool smart moments lol I just want to know who is the most smartest between these two dumb ppl lol 😂 🎀🍓

// Oh, you mean this post?

The reasons why I said Ayato is dumber than Yui and Yui is more stupid than Ayato are the following:

Basically a dumb person is someone unwise, impulsive and unknowledgeable/uneducated. They act that way not necessarily because of a lack of mental capacity or learning ability, but due to the fact that they don’t know any better or they DON’T want to know any better.

For instance, in CL, before regaining his memories, Ayato impulsively tried to fight Shu and Reiji on his own but was easily overpowered, leaving him injured. Once he realized the consequences of his actions, he became much more cautious, especially after his memories returned, to avoid putting himself or Yui in danger again. Another scene shows Yui offering to tutor Ayato, however, she was surprised by the fact that he learnt how to solve the problems very fast and that he got all his test answers right.

Credit to: dialovers-translations on tumblr

A stupid person is someone with a lack of intelligence or learning ability. They might not be always dense, but they are supposed to know better, yet they choose to do the wrong thing deliberately.

For example, there’s the pool scene in Ruki’s MB and the lake scene in one of Subaru’s short stories, where Yui jumps into the water despite admitting she can't swim, putting herself in danger. Another moment occurs in Carla’s LE route when Carla warns Yui not to trust Kino because he might be evil, yet in the very next chapter, Yui casually reveals Carla’s Endzeit to Kino, leading Kino to attempt to kill Carla. There are many more moments like these, but I think these examples are enough to prove the point.

It’s quite common to see Japanese players complain about Yui’s poor learning ability. I feel like DL fans already got used to that, but I get that it can indeed become frustrating. xD

Aside from that, Ayato tends to be more objective than Yui. While he feels bad and shows compassion when it's warranted, he mostly sees things for what they are. Even though he sympathized with Cordelia in DF, he doesn't feel the need to sugarcoat her actions. Yui, on the other hand, is the type to quickly change her opinion about someone or something as soon as she hears a sob story. I get it when it comes to the Diaboys, but she actually tried to justify Cordelia’s and Karl’s actions, which honestly left me speechless.

Taking everything into account, it’s quite hard choosing which one is smarter, but I do believe that Ayato has a better learning ability and more potential, it’s just that he doesn’t want or know how to use it. I think the only reason why Rejet keeps writing him dumb is because Japanese fans find that type of idiot cute, as seen here.

[blueishspace]

Third life with divine domains

Part 5: session 7 and 8

Fandom

@shortystack75 hits again with wonderful ideas! I think Watcher BigB is not unlikely to develop in the fandom! It sounds extremely fun! Also yeah, this would be a bit after Hermitcraft season 7.

@easily-distracted-by-fandom too, you are on a roll! The god of Justice and Punishment working serving Pain and Sorrow is... Commentary of some kind on the judicial system... Also yeah, I see your point about the kingdom's being considered very differently by fandom with It's alliance with Frosted Forest.

I also think that knowing Ren and Scott they would negotiate a lot and would originate "other side" animatics...

Session 7

Scott creates a new wall around Frosted Forest... In cobblestone this time, wouldn't want a forest fire would we?

Impulse and Tango still play both sides... Scott is suspicious of Impulse in both timelines but in this one he tells Ren and not Grian. No one knows who burnt Skizz's banner in this timeline, Impulse is suspected.

Scar and Grian can't ask Scott and Jimmy to help lure the Dogwarts army to the tnt trap... So they have to either ask the Castle which they do not trust, try to defeat the army on their own or give up on their idea... The tnt is already placed and doing it alone is suicide so...trust the Crastle it is.

Impulse still leads Dogwarts to the desert though he definitely needs a different reason considering the very different context...

Let's consider how this goes down: Grian sets of the tnt, no one dies because of the code error decreasing tnt power like in canon. BigB and Joel weren't online this session which means its: Ren, Martyn, Skizz, Etho, Scott and Jimmy attacking. And Scar, Grian, Tango, Bdubs and Cleo defending. Impulse probably does that thing he does in canon where It's not clear who's side he's fighting because he's just being there running around.

Cleo is unlikely to risk Bdubs so they likely make him stay hidden...of course Bdubs is unlikely to listen but it's day time at this point and he's boosted by his powers enough to survive... As for Jimmy ? Well he is not boosted in the desert and has mostly passive abilities and isn't as strategical as Scott so...him dying isn't too unlikely... It's a 50/50...so I flipped a coin! And... Jimmy dies first... despite the changes this stays the same.

Grian still dies like in canon and Cleo dies much like how Scott does in our version of Third Life.

The Crastle arriving to save Scar doesn't happen as they are already there so Scar dies and goes to red but this means Cleo and Tango don't die rescuing him...

Martyn still dies, and the why is because of Jimmy's permadeath consequences: When Jimmy dies the forests lose their leaves and more importantly players get Weakness I while inside forest biomes... So even without Scar taking a lot of Martyns health not happening he still gets separated from the other and surrounded by mobs while affected by Weakness. This is without considering that since Tango isn't dead he can still be at low health without Scar.

Now things start complitely deviating as the Dogwarts vs Crastle confrontation doesn't happen since they are already enemies which means Cleo doesn't die, Skizz doesn't die and Impulse isn't revealed to be a traitor.

Scott "buries" Jimmy on top of the mountain near Frosted Forest and promises revenge... ...Winter IS coming, just in a different way... White Winter.

Session 8

Grian wonders about changing sides now that he lost his first life but realizes that...yeah, not possible at this point.

The Siege of Dogwarts is very different. In canon Scott kills BigB but this time around he's on the opposite side and I'm going to say, he kills Scar. I just think he deserves it and It's not ...unlikely... actually, It's quite likely if Scar is less careful as a yellow life.

Joel still gets killed by Ren before he can escape but Scott isn't even anywhere close to where he dies in canon so...yeah...

However for Scott's second death ...he doesn't die since he's with Ren...but someone has to...which at this point is likely Cleo as she would take Scotts place in the retrieval mission.

Now, without Jimmy and with team desert as his killers Scott has little choice but becoming part of Dogwarts... permanently.

At this point It's unlikely this is the last session, Scar still kills Martyn and then Ren while Scott is killed by either Cleo or Joel... I'm going to say Joel because...reasons... but then he is forced away as they all have more lives and he doesn't...also Martyn's dying means nearby entities gets hurt which means he's also at low health...meaning this Third Life lasts at least 1 session longer.

Scar and Grian run off followed by The Crastle people including Impulse who finally sides with them officially while Dogwarts needs to recuperate and doesn't attack back... So session 8 ends in a... Tense stalemate of sort between Dogwarts and Sand Crastle.

Lives

Let's remind ourselves!

Impulse and BigB are green lives.

Grian, Ren, Etho, Joel and Tango are yellow lives.

Skizz, Scott, Martyn, Cleo, Scar and Bdubs are red.

Jimmy is...dead.

Fandoms

Let's be honest...this is just me begging for fandom related ideas again.

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[hwnglx]

txt's current energy ﴾ may '23

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

for soobin and beomgyu, the career reading was kinda messy and confusing. whenever this happens, i always get the vibe i shouldn't really know or tell, so. only included the love life update for them, hope that's ok ❤︎

yeonjun

love hangm, star, 6ofw, 9ofp

yeonjun is just having fun, enjoying his popularity and being desired by everyone for now. he's not looking to tie himself to anyone and is focusing on maintaining his indepency. i think, a romantic commitment would just put a whole different set of responsibilites with him that he just doesn't wanna deal with right now. he's too focused on himself and mainting his status, especially career-wise.

career devil&wheel, 9ofc, tower&knofw+3ofp

oh wow. there's definitely been some major turning points for him here. there might've been a project of some kind that required him to work with others, but kinda collapsed last minute? since i got the exact combo of the tower plus the knight of wands for taehyun, it might involve him too. yeonjun is absolutely one of the most ambitious and eager idols i read for till now. he has so many different things he wants so accomplish, and i think he has a tendency to overcommit almost. he can hold on too tight to his desires and obsess over his goals. this might be a bad habit he needs to let go of. he needs to learn to let things flow more.

advice - mutable moon: nothing is yet set in stone -> his situation might be unstable but far from being finalized -> there's still the opportunity for him to keep visualizing and affirming what wants -> still room for change

message to him: staying adaptable is the key to success!

soobin

love 6ofw, knofsw, 3ofsw+3ofw, 5ofc, 2ofc

his love life is pretty messy. there seems to be someone he has a deep connection to right now, but a lot of it has been tainted by heartbreak and disappointment. there might've been some third party situation that left him worrying and hurt. not sure which side it was on, but there might've been some impulsive behavior going on that resulted in this situation. they still seem to be holding on to the connection though. he seems more emotional than what meets the eye.

advice - third quarter moon: adjustments are required -> he is reevaluating his situation -> need to trust and release -> something new and exciting might be coming

message to him: your current crisis will remind you of what you need to let go of!

beomgyu

love lovers, kingofw, 10ofw, 9ofsw, judgrx

so as i said mentioned recently, he's been in a relationship with someone for a while now, and there's still feelings of passion between them. especially beomgyu feels a lot of attraction in this connection, but there's something weighing on him. i think, he realized this relationship comes with a lot more responsibility than expected, and he might've caused some hurt to his partner by just not learning his lessons. he's starting to get doubts, like "am i really doing this right?" there's some past baggage the two still need to talk out and let go of. a lot of unresolved tension.

advice - full moon in aries: a fiery climax approaches! -> he might've been too selfish, harsh or overstepped the mark -> need to accept he put himself into this situation -> ability to get himself out of it as well with a more peaceful approach

message to him: don't be too blunt or insensitive, you could pay the price for it!

taehyun

love 5ofp, 5ofsw, justice, pagofp, strength

ok i'm gonna be honest here, i believe the scandal might've made things a little harder for him in the romantic world. the justice card is showing me this lack of love is very much a cause of his own actions. tbh, last time i read for him, i did see him just having a little too much fun, and i think he's facing the consequences now. it does seem like he's a pretty self aware guy though, so he probably knows he did it to himself. he's trying to just power through it, but is feeling kinda awkward in the dating scene, it seems.

career knofw&3ofp, devil, moon+pagofc&7ofp

again, similarly to yeonjun, there might've been some collaboration he rushed into too impulsively. i got the devil for taehyun and yeonjun too, so there's definitely some toxicity and obsession connected to it. i think they were both veeery eager about whatever this is, so it ceasing to happen for now, caused some insecurities. taehyun is feeling the frustration of having to wait in the dark in a way and currently dealing with emotions pretty new to him. sorry if i can't pinpoint what exactly happened here lol, but everything seems kinda messy it's confusing me. the uncertainty, frustration and strong ambition seems to be a common thread here.

advice - new moon eclipse: expect powerful change -> current events could be uncomfortable but will lead to something better -> might be guided by his ego and strive for a certain direction but the divine will turn him instead to face the direction he needs to go in

message to him: whatever is happening right now, is happening for your highest good

kai

love sunrx+star&moon, 2ofc&4ofp, aceofsw, 8ofw

kai has been in a relationship for a few months now it seems, and he's strongly holding on to it. i think he's scared of losing this person and scared to do things wrong, since he really seems to see them as very precious. he's really in his head about it. a lot of reflection. he might be scared of facing reality of some things in this relationship, being avoidant out of fear. i do see him communicating with this person tho, and learning a lot from it. it seems to be a pretty healthy connection, i think he found himself a good person.

career death, 5ofc, 9ofw, empr&highpr

man, something keeps telling me kai is a member the higher ups often tend to not take so seriously. i feel like, he can easily feel crushed underneath their power, and is feeling very guarded. there seems to have been a major change in his career, that caused him some disappointment. he might feel like he doesn't really have a voice and can't express things. even if something saddens him, he just kinda deals with it on his own. in the past, i got the vibe he might've had some bad experiences with some staff members, and this seemed to have made him more wary and protective of his peace. he has such pleasant energy, honestly. protect this boy ☹

advice - full moon eclipse: conclusions are within reach -> forgiveness will set him free -> what he's experiencing now is what his soul signed up for - a way for him to learn and evolve

message to him: allow events to unfold and be easy on yourself

gifs: @/itshyuka

[thestupidhelmet]

What do you think are the best and worst traits about each of the main characters?

Tough to be reductive about complex, often-changing characters, but I'll give it a shot. 😀

Note: I'm not including any traits I consider too far afield from the characters' consistent characterization (consistent includes character growth and devolution).

Eric

Best: His compassion, willingness to take risks outside his comfort zone, sense of humor, fighting for what he believes is right (or just), self-sacrificing, loyal to his friends, respects Donna's timeline with their sexual relationship, loves his family, is forgiving.

Worst: Can be insensitive, impulsive self-focused to the detriment of others, sexist, possessive, myopic (unable to see or understand the whole of a situation outside of how he's affected by it), selfish, vindictive, indecisive, obsessed with having sex with Donna.

Donna

Best: Compassionate, courageous, intelligent (academically and otherwise), creative, passionate, self-confidence, willingness to put her pain and hurt aside to protect Eric's ego (she does this a lot, but it's not exactly best for her), ability to see the bigger picture when she gets a reality check, sense of humor, fights for what he believes is right (or just), protective of her friends.

Worst: Becomes self-destructive as a way of getting attention from neglectful parents or to avoid feeling grief; when in emotional pain, her needs are all that matter, and she's willing to use -- and inadvertently hurt -- loved ones to try to alleviate her pain; quick temper, sometimes flip-flops on certain feminist values she holds, has a bravado she can't always backup with actions, can be selfish, can be vindictive.

Hyde

Best: Protective of the vulnerable, whether friend, foe, or relative stranger; very self-sacrificing, compassionate, takes no help he receives for granted and makes sure to show his respect and appreciation through consistent actions, willing to give people who hurt him a second chance if they seem remorseful and to have changed, sarcastic sense of humor, doesn't burn people when they're truly in pain, takes chances despite being afraid of potential consequences, doesn't allow loyalty to friends to stop him from doing the right thing (but will find loopholes if he can, as not to break loyalty and still do the right thing), eventually opens to the possibility that the people he loves won't hurt or abandon him like his parents did, is generally a hard worker (despite his declaration of laziness).

Worst: Has passive-aggressive tendencies, trouble communicating his feelings directly; is afraid of allowing his vulnerability to show, so he uses a multitude of self-protective techniques to hide it, afraid of how angry he is from childhood trauma and does his best to suppress it (and doesn't always succeed), can be insensitive, doesn't trust people can truly love him and believes they will ultimately hurt or abandon him -- or both (again, childhood trauma), will use a person's naivety for his own purposes, allows his pride to get in the way of what's best for him, paranoid (not in the pathological sense; it's really insecurity and anxiety and, yeah, PTSD from childhood trauma).

Jackie

Best: Compassionate, savvy (eventually), smart (when not dumbing herself down for Kelso), uses her own experiences to give others perspective, gives or does what she can to help her friends and boyfriends, doesn't take crap (especially once she breaks up with Kelso for good), willing to be vulnerable with someone without expectation of return, very forgiving, cares about certain people even when they don't care about her (she would never admit to any of these traits 😂), self-reflective and, thus, grows and changes for the better.

Worst: self-centered, narcissist tendencies, controlling, (these first three traits weaken greatly once she dates Hyde), self-entitled, jealous, classist, unnecessarily insulting of Donna, tends to live in a fantasy world rather than face reality, doesn't always think before she speaks, lies somewhat habitually (but this trait weakens as she grows as a character), allows her pride to get in the way of what's best for her.

Fez

Best: Strong emotional awareness and an ability to analyze other people's feelings accurately (S1), kind* (he displays both true kindness and transactional kindness), funny, academically intelligent and devoted, loving, sensitive, doesn't care about U.S. masculinity mores of the time and has no problem showing intimately platonic affection to his male friends; is a good boyfriend to Patty, Caroline, and Rhonda (except when the writers destroyed his character in their breakup episode), connected to his feelings and unafraid to express them.

Worst: Suffers from Nice Guy syndrome with Jackie, showing her kindness and respect in the belief he'll get her romantic and sexual affection in return -- feels entitled to it, in fact, due to his "kindness" so that when he realizes she won't give him what he wants, he turns on her instantly and becomes disrespectful and unkind; doesn't respect his female friends' boundaries in different ways, gets jealous easily (of male and female friends' friendships with each other), doesn't understand how far to take a joke due to cultural differences, and this trait eventually turns into what people call his perviness, can be selfish and sexist.

Kelso

Best: Very funny, has the capacity for growth and change (but the writers always return him to status quo), loyal to and supportive of friends* (unfortunately only on rare occasions), can feel remorse for his bad behavior* (once he's been wounded by someone else the same way), eventually works up the courage (with the help of his friends) to be a father to his baby, respects Brooke's sexual boundaries in actions (but is still suggestive even after she makes clear the answer is no), is a hard worker at his jobs (but not academically), is protective of his sister and mother.

Worst: Selfish, self-entitled narcissist; sex addict, habitually violates Jackie sexually (see the episode "Sleepover"), habitually violates Donna's physical boundaries or tries to, serial cheater while never intending Jackie to find out, dangerously impulsive, cruel to Fez verbally and physically (S1-S4), incredibly vindictive, hypocrite, misogynistic tendencies, often doesn't learn from his mistakes because he doesn't believe he made any, lacks common sense in a way that's hazardous to himself and others, often treats all his friends like crap and doesn't believe anyone's feelings but his own matter.

Kitty

Best: super compassionate (and passionate), a healer (emotionally and physically since she's a great nurse), joyful most of the time and wants to help others feel that way, funny, emotionally strong; does whatever she has to do (legally) to keep her family safe, like being the sole moneymaker with longer hours when Red's searching for work or can't work after his heart attack; is kind to all of Eric's friends (most of the time, lol), takes control of a situation once a line has been crossed, great cook and baker; is the epitome of the feminist ideal Midge is trying to attain, despite that Kitty doesn't think of herself that way.

Worst: Sometimes infantilizes Eric, becomes overly clingy to Eric whenever him moving out of the house seems to be his plan, becomes controlling of Eric and interferes in his attempts at autonomy when he becomes engaged to Donna, uses alcohol to narcotize the pain of having perimenopause (no more babies; although she and Red always could adopt, but that's a different subject), can be judgmental, can hold a grudge, can be devious to get what she wants, sometimes is weirdly inappropriate, can be too passive, can sulk.

Red

Best: Compassionate (but unhappy that he has this trait, lol), hard worker, has romantic/sexual attraction only to Kitty, passionate, risked his life more than once for his country as part of the navy, sees through people's bullcrap (although not always his own), helps Eric's friends in spite of himself, wants the best future for his kids (including Hyde), is open to changing his point of view (about a person, at least).

Worst: (First a note. Many of the following can be seen as stemming from his time in WWII and the Korean War and the PTSD this created in him; he has war flashbacks, a canon part of his character). Most of his feelings are communicated through anger, he's xenophobic toward people (of any skin color, including white) and also of foreign-made products; he refuses to face the reality of who his daughter is, and when the fantasy is broken, he punishes her for not living up to his idealized version of her; when Eric doesn't meet Red's standards for masculinity or makes a typical teenager mistake, Red can be verbally degrading or punishing; can be insensitive to Kitty, holds some antiquated views (even for the '70s) of female and male gender roles (wait until he learns about nonbinary people ... 👀🏳️‍🌈).

[phlve]

Subtype Trait Structures: sp9

Renunciatory

It is repeated in the life of the conservation E9 letting things happen (God will provide), and a lack of determination and diligence when facing the day to day. This strategy is based on the idea that there is something bigger that decides for you what has to happen or not. In this surrender there is a part of acceptance that can be considered healthy and even wise, and at the same time, a harmful resignation that is the essence of this lazy personality unable to act according to their own desires and needs.

Distant

Acidia or laziness leads you to postpone more intimate relationships with loved ones (siblings, friends ), prevents you from developing affection, respect, fraternity, and ends up causing distance with those people who are really important to you. In reality, the experience or the sense of not existing and not seeing oneself is reflected in a difficulty in feeling the existence of the other; don't see it. Loneliness and frustration then appear.

Positive in Imagination

Reading love stories and watching romantic comedies or dramas replace the love that does not live; it is as if he lived the life of others and was already satisfied seeing that they are happy even though he is not; that gives him the possibility of thinking that although he lacks love today, then someday it will be possible.

Emotionally Blunted

The conservation E9 does not tolerate, in the long run, the intensity of emotions. Feeling too much is dangerous; there is the fear of losing control, fear of something that he does not know about himself, and that produces anxiety. He fears what he might discover and show if he follows the intensity and goes deeper.

Showing yourself without fear of judgment leads to the assumption that the more you show, the more you feel. And there is less need for the other, to the point of ending up not needing it, with the implicit risk of being left alone. Too much pain could kill him or lead him to kill, too much pleasure could make him feel and come off as lustful, too much joy could make him feel childish and inadequate, and too much joy could make him feel shallow and, above all, selfish.

You have no confidence in your emotions and thoughts. You do not believe that what you feel, think, or want is fair, and following your impulses without the approval of the world can be dangerous. Basically, there is the confusion between being and not being, plus the fear of rejection or indifference. On the one hand, he needs to believe in himself, but if the world does not give him confirmation, he cannot exist. In order not to conflict or create problems, give up and adapt.

Physically Confident

Trusts his body a lot and its ability to always respond to the maximum; he is his guarantee of survival and the machine with which to face difficulties. He must always feel healthy; if the body is wrong, it feels betrayed.

Stubborn and Reactive

To support your reasoning you need a lot of anger and energy. He already starts with the shotgun loaded because he doesn't really trust them; he always thinks they will make him look stupid, childish, or out of place and therefore inappropriate. When he argues and does not feel heard, he automatically raises his voice: if he shouts, the other is forced to hear him. In reality, it is a way of giving energy to reasoning that cannot be sustained assertively; he thinks that the other does not understand him because he does not want to listen to him. He doesn't feel recognized and that makes him feel bad; he feels invisible, he feels that for the other he does not exist.

Consequently, he is stubborn, does not easily recognize that he has made a mistake, and can cling to straws as long as he does not change his attitude or opinion. He stiffens because he feels between a rock and a hard place and must defend himself. If he recognizes that the other is right, it is like abdicating himself and he is afraid of the power that he gives to the other over him; but he also knows that his renunciation of self-assertion is to betray himself in the name of “quiet and harmonious living.” Sustaining yourself in the conflict seems crazy to you and you say to yourself: “It's okay, whatever happens.” At first he feels anger but then anxiety, doubt and fear of being alone, and weakening his drive also come. In the end he becomes stubborn so as not to appear weak, to remain faithful to his ideas.

Kind and Insecure

He is friendly. You would like to present your ideas and have something to say, even if it is often only perfunctory, and you easily remain neutral in a discussion between friends or colleagues. If he starts talking, he can become verbose and passionate about what he says, expressing himself with emphasis and emotion. While he speaks, however, he is very attentive to the expressions of those who listen to him to know if they agree or not, and slips into the sentences words that ask for approval. If he perceives nonconformity, he quickly loses confidence and becomes deflated. To understand you need simple and clear words; the right word is “frankness,” without detours or manipulations that make you lose your self-confidence.

If you realize that a thought of yours, or an emotion, or a gesture, is approved and appreciated, that means that it is going well, and then it becomes a point of strength that you use repeatedly, because it acquires the value of recognition. It can be recognized in him, through him it exists for the world. This compensates for the feeling of insecurity and the threat of rejection that he experiences when he shows himself, which is part of the crazy idea that it is not correct, from the outset.

Resistant to Change

He has a need for certainty and it takes an effort to accept change, which raises questions on reality: he fears not knowing how to orient himself any other way; trying another path may mean getting lost, and you lack confidence in your ability to find the resources to protect yourself. He suffers change by resisting like a storm: just wait for it to pass; it remains like a reed that folds but does not break and adapts. He is afraid of what is different, afraid of not knowing how to be up to change, afraid that the situation will overwhelm him because he does not understand it. He learns not to desire in order to survive, and every change, even those he considers positive, is experienced as destabilizing.

Other conservation E9s, although they crave change, seek it through superfluous modifications, or else wait for it to happen on its own. They easily give up their desire, not only to avoid conflict but also to save themselves frustration. This character knows the polarity of opposites, but does not accept that they can coexist instead of canceling each other out. It is an emotional rigidity that is born from the sensation of insecurity, of danger, of not knowing what to believe, and of the habit of giving more value to what the world says than to what you feel inside. White is a certainty, and so is black, but if they get mixed up, he no longer knows how to recognize them.

Voracious in Inertia

There is an unconscious voracity for experiences and knowledge, but it lacks the internal drive that overcomes inertia to start the search. He harbors the illusion that he must see it from outside, like an illumination from above. He doesn't know how to search because he doesn't believe in his intuition or in his desire, he is afraid of making mistakes and, therefore, getting lost. He remains frustrated and subconsciously hungry. That is why he looks for the “extraordinary” that upsets everything, it frightens him and excites him to imagine something extraordinary, being amazed at what happens to him makes him come into contact with life; it is the opposite of ordinary and activates desire.

Imaginative

Not knowing how to live in reality, he seeks escape routes. He is under the illusion that his kingdom is not of this world and that he can live in another. In his childhood escape from reality instead of facing it, he lives the experience better with his eyes closed, with sensations that lead to another dimension instead of living in the present. He despises his own abilities: “I am not up to this world,” with victimhood: “no one understands me.” He does not feel of this world, but with nostalgia for another dimension where there is only harmony.

Reality is never completely acceptable to the conservation E9, which spends a lot of energy coloring it without actually transforming it. You can endure a lot, standing firm and imagining, at the same time, that you revolutionize the world. Resisting real change requires a lot of mental work and abdominal control; hence, one day it may happen that, not having made small and substantial changes, it explodes like a pressure cooker and acts without thinking, sweeping away everything.

Gullible

If someone throws an accusation at you, your first reaction is to believe that the other is right and that it is really your fault. Only later, on rethinking, may he realize that he could not be his sole responsibility.

Conflict Avoidant

He is slow to metabolize an experience; it is not enough for him to get married once to learn that fire can be dangerous. To elaborate is to judge and that implies coming into conflict with oneself. The conflict generates anxiety, doubt, confusion, destabilization, and even the possibility of choosing oneself instead of the other, which brings one closer to the taboo of selfishness. That is why he is not capable of relativizing and takes everything very seriously, both relationships and commitments.

Avoids and Postpones Choice

In the face of abundance, he does not know how to choose, everything is on the same plane and one thing is the same as another. Not knowing what he wants turns into compulsive greed and tries everything. Choosing takes effort and you can postpone an important decision to infinity for fear of not knowing what the right choice is. He is afraid of taking risks and if he thinks or feels too much he is no longer able to act, which causes anxiety. He does not know how to make the assessments that allow him to choose, he chooses on impulse, when he launches himself and manages to move. That is why he is clueless, because he is always loaded with a lot of things. Furthermore, choosing supposes the need to take a position, to place oneself, and this would mean being aware of an “I” that desires.

Impulsive and Naïve

Money is important to the extent that it helps you get what you want. If he likes an object, he can pay for it above its value without realizing it, and he can also find the low value of an object excessive and not buy it even if it works for him. From excess to lack, he impulsively splurges or gives up by reflecting too much. If he sells something made by himself, and he has felt pleasure doing it, his price is only that corresponding to the material used, because he can not make him pay for the pleasure that doing it has given him.

Low Self-Esteem

She is impatient, she would like everything and that's it, and that everything would turn out perfect the first time. She doesn't know how to handle frustration and doesn't believe in her ability to learn: “I'm worth nothing.” To this judgment that she makes, she reacts with rebellion: “I don't need it”; she prefers to give up fighting.

Rebel

Automatically goes on the counter. If the situation is tense, he assumes the role of an observer who does not want to get involved. If, on the contrary, it is harmonious, he is intolerant and provocative. It is an attitude linked to internal rebellion; in fact, very often he remains outside of real participation, he wastes his time interpreting situations instead of living them fully. He is also confrontational with himself and is undisciplined. The mind programs and sets homework but the guts and the heart do not collaborate; there is no emotional involvement. Thus, the illusion is created that he is free, that he does what he wants and not what he should, as a substitute for pleasure.

Shy

There is a lot of shyness, because he does not exist, he is in the world just to look. He is very uncomfortable if he sees himself in the front row, he feels too exposed and has to force himself not to be in the center of attention. In relationships, he is not the one who takes the first step, because he always thinks that the other will not be interested in getting to know him, that he will annoy them, with fear of rejection and dependence on the judgment of others.

Procrastinator

You are better at postponing than coping. Easily postpones everything you don't like or finds too tiring because it leads to arguments or conflict. Or he postpones because the situation calls for organization and movement and he doesn't know where to start, he gets lost and gives up.

Sacrificial

He sacrifices himself automatically, with a robotic altruism that perceives the discomfort of the other and makes himself available to him. He renounces himself and offers this renunciation. Basically, he has the passive and underlying claim to be seen and loved precisely because of this ability to offer himself. He puts the other on Olympus, makes him God. For the conservation E9 it is taboo to feel like a God, and he projects this image of himself on the other, making him absolute, unique, and resplendent with his own light. He agrees to be his shadow because, through his projection, the other will return his splendor to him and he will be able to live on the light reflected from him. It is a form of parasitism; it could even be said that he feeds the other and then feeds himself.

Involved and Attached

Has difficulty withdrawing, either from relationships or experiences. You can stay attached even if you perceive, in either case, that it's over; it is always better than wandering in space without direction or purpose.

Autonomous

He does not like that another depends exclusively on him, it scares him because it would take power away from his need to feel free and autonomous. You can give yourself entirely to the other and at the same time feel indispensable supposes too much commitment and responsibility.

Without Limits

It is difficult for him to understand that there is a limit, either for himself or for the world. He doesn't feel any brake and doesn't even know when he wants to or should stop, as if he could keep going (it is the principle of inertia, by which a body continues in a straight line unless an external force intervenes). It is the consequence of feeling that it exists only if the other exists, by not being in contact with oneself. Fear can become an ally because it tells you, with its manifestation, that it is time to stop.

He makes it instantly in touch with him. He thinks of revenge as a consolation strategy, and he can ruminate on it and never execute it and remain attached to rage. He finds it hard to accept that for others it is not something temporary and starts manipulative strategies to try to find out if the other is still angry with him. He needs to know that the conflict has not turned into a war for the other, and he needs to return to harmony, to feel at peace with the world, to know that the conflict has ended.

Unconventional

Is not deliberately transgressive of social rules and authority, and at the same time it is not a problem for him to go against social conventions and moral rules. It is difficult for him to take into account the roles, because he does not know how to move in formality. This makes him appear aggressive and self-confident, when in reality it is a failure to recognize, first of all to himself, the possibility of having a role and being able to protect himself through it.

Simple

He feels comfortable in the middle of nature, and feels love and deep respect for animals, because in nature and with animals the relationship occurs in a simpler way.

Source: PDB Wiki

[skimbly-shanks]

People remember Ariel saying "Daddy I Love Him" about someone she's only seen once from afar and then forget that for her, he is the Human World Made Manifest. That she has yearned for the Human World for who knows how long, and feels alien in her own home. People also forget that in response to aforementioned corny line, her dad fucking violently blows up her secret hideaway and all of the things she's collected, and that the whole reason it was secret ti begin with is because she already knew something like this would happen, bc her father's love for her has been pretty damn dependent on her playing the role of perfect obedient daughter with no dreams of her own beyond being a singing ornament.

Then ppl say that "duh of course she's impulsive she's 16" when like. Fjektjekfjs. What a ay to disrespect teens first of all and second of all. If we can agree that the Renaissance movies Ashman worked on are particularly latent with Queer Metaphor. Then in that context this is a bigoted parent finding out their closeted child's true self without the child's consent and effectively demanding, with force, that they stay in the closet or else. All because they got a crush on the wrong person.

There's also just the part where, uh. It's a story. It's fiction. As I mentioned in the first paragraph, she loves Eric because he represents the Human World, and he loves her because she represents the Sea. He's a prince who'd rather be a sailor, and she's a princess who'd rather live a non-descript life on the land. They complement each other; the other is what they most desire. It's a way to quickly and solidly establish their characters and their final relationship to each other. Being that they are fictional characters, Ariel's age is important by what it symbolizes in terms of her relationship with her father. She's 16; not a child, but still under his control as she isn't yet an adult. It's not meant to be an overpowering element of the romance, because it's an element of the familial moral, that being that she deserves to pursue what she loves beyond what her father would prescribe to her.

Also can I just say I see ppl say that she got off easy/without consequences abt making a deal with Ursula when uuuhhhh....Ursula was always going to cheat her, we saw that. Ursula is Not someone to trust. The impact of the Deal on the familial plot is that Ariel only turned to Ursula after it was clear that home was no longer a safe option for her. It was because her father refused to even hear her out, and then, need I remind you, violently destroyed her hideaway of things she loved, that she made the deal to begin with. And we see in the finale that he literally had the ability to turn her human the whole damn time. He's the reason she felt the need to make a fixed deal in the first place; by allowing himself to be transformed, he is finally taking accountability for his role in this outcome

[darkestrellar]

Svern's personality and worldview

Svern’s core personality is buried beneath thick and multilayered acting. The only way to get a glimpse of it is to catch him in a vulnerable moment, or be someone he truly trusts with his so-called “real” self. The way he’s normally perceived by others is energetic, bold, and reckless; loud and impertinent. He weaves between clownery and sharpness, and is cunning, quick to observe, comment, and react. He can put on other faces if he needs, but this is his preferred facade. Svern is curious and always pushing boundaries, prodding where he’s not wanted.

Beneath that lies the temperament he exhibited as a child, and what still might peek out in specific situations. Invisible, quiet, and observant; it remembers and internalises everything. Above all, it is static; disturbances to that core are rare and insignificant, outward behaviour aside.

There are benefits to this; he’s rarely disturbed or fazed by things that would bother others, because he simply doesn’t react the same. His emotional responses feel like a ripple in his consciousness. His lack of emotiveness and general disposition unnerved people around him when he was younger; especially coupled with his intellect and the way he could dissect a topic (or a logical fallacy, or a falsehood that wasn't supposed to have attention drawn to it) with ease. Eventually, out of the practical need to integrate with others, he learned to act; to portray himself in a way they found acceptable. Even if it was fabricated and didn't match what he was like or how he felt inside, the people around him didn’t see the disconnect, only the surface performance, and that was good enough for them. They didn't see, or didn't want to see, anything other than what Svern soon learned to present to them.

Though this was a success when it came to him interacting and "getting along" with others, he resented that it was necessary in the first place.

His behaviour varies with on the company and situation. When he has to act acceptably, he will, but he much prefers being a nuisance that people judge as a clown or don’t know what to think of. He gets enjoyment out of knowing the way he’s perceived is massively different to the "reality", that he’s deceived them, that their impression of him is under his control. It also developed an outlet for the resentment he had for people who judged him, and his distaste for their own incomprehensible and overblown emotions.

If their emotions are so vital and valuable, they can suffer the consequences of having them.

Svern possesses an incredibly powerful mind that chews up and spits out anything that interests it. Once he satisfies his curiosity, he quickly becomes bored. Coupled with his lack of emotional variance, he struggles with feeling stagnant. This is why he likes to live fast-paced and reckless, bold and impulsive, sticking his nose into anything he feels like. Any potential source of interest or temporary stimulation is welcomed with open arms.

He’s extremely confident thanks to his abilities. His confidence benefits from his internal stability; there are few things to truly make him feel afraid, or to concern him about feeling embarrassed or ashamed. He is stubborn and determined if he chooses to put his mind to something. Although he tends to be lazy when not interested - he doesn’t see the point in putting effort in unless he wants to or has another specific reason - when motivated he becomes a speedy high achiever.

Svern’s attitude toward life is nihilistic. All people die and when they do, they lose awareness of all they did in life. Everything passes eventually. Without ambition or a sense of duty or accountability, the idea of working for something that persists after your death loses its value; without a strong moral belief all actions become acceptable. Even things that would pain you to think about during life, like leaving loved ones behind or failing to achieve what you wanted to, lose their substance in the face of death.

He sees the world in shades of grey, a temporary and meaningless existence. He's aware that this isn't a generally favoured view, and that most people can find something to colour their lives; they're lucky for that, being able to make or find meaning where there is none. His inability to feel and his giftedness work together to rob him of this. People who can devote their life for a cause and believe in it, too, don't know how fortunate they are. Svern is a passerby without direction - lacking in ambition or wishes, distasteful toward the idea of letting something else guide his steps for him, barely connected to the world around him. He wastes time as he pleases until he can retire from the pointless task of living.

(The advice he received from the one person who understood him was to follow his impulses - no matter if those impulses were a mere suggestion of a thought or something rooted in a real feeling - to make living tolerable. By following them and acting them out, he could get a feel for what it would be like to live the same as everyone else, even if he can never lose himself in the act so much that he forgets that it's fake.)

Thus, he embraces mortality and the brevity of life. If nothing matters after you die, then nothing in life truly matters either. The best thing you can do is pass time until your death, get as much enjoyment out of it as you can, and cause yourself the least bother. Do what you want!

[wolint]

THE CENSUS

THE CENSUS

2 Samuel 24

 

I had a conversation about David’s census with a sister the other day that inspired me to want to write about it. Her question was “what was wrong in David counting his people”? What do you think was wrong with it?

What is a census? Census is a survey conducted to collect data on the population which will be used to help make decisions about people's lives. It wasn’t wrong of David to know the number of his citizen but why was David determined to count his subjects and why did it displease God? Even Joab in verse 2, the captain of the host objected to David’s plans, but David’s will prevailed.

David was led by pride and self-reliance and an apparent lack of trust in the Lord to supply soldiers when they were needed as He had always done.

We would never know the true desire behind David’s actions but whatever they were, he didn’t consult the Lord as his usual practise.

God was displeased with David’s census because it revealed his sinful attitude and his disregard for God’s law. God, who sees the heart of every person, knew that David was acting out of pride and not out of faith. God quickly brought Daivd’s plan to ana end and punished him for it.

We can see from verse 4 that, as much Joab and the men objected to David, their king, and commanders plan, they all still obeyed, regardless of their feeling.

We, as believers must never allow our objections, feeling and sentiments stand in the way of following and obeying the Lord and doing whatever He instructs us to do as seen in 1 John 5:3.

David’s census was from the tribes of Israel from Dan to Beersheba. The counting of men “who drew the sword��� and it took them nine months and twenty days according to verse 8 to take the census. We read in verse 9 that the numbers were 8000,000 valiant men who drew the sword in Israel, and the men of Judah were 500,000.

Another reason why God was angry with David may be found in Exodus 30:12 where God told Moses, “When you take a census of the Israelites to count them, each one must pay the Lord a ransom for his life at the time he is counted. Then no plague will come on them when you number them.” It was up to God then to command a census. David should only have taken a census at God’s command, receiving a ransom to “atone” for the counting. Israel did not belong to David, but to God.

A valuable and good character of David that we must all strive to emulate is his “repentant heart” as seen in verse 10. Whenever he was convicted of his wrong, he humbled himself before the Lord, acknowledged his wrong and repented. He always took the blame himself and never looked for a scapegoat like many leaders of today tends to do, sadly, including believers.

We should be full of dread for God’s wrath because as seen in verses 12-15, there is always a consequence for our sin and action, otherwise, God will not be true to Himself as the righteous judge according to Psalm 9:7.

Although David’s choice of punishment was due to God’s mercy, he would have preferred God dealt with him and his family alone according to verse 14 but God used the occasion to reduce David’s people by 70,000.

David’s census teaches us some important lessons about our relationship with God and our responsibility as His people. We should always acknowledge God as the source of our strength and success, and not rely on our own abilities or resources. We should always seek God’s will and direction, and not act on our own impulses or desires.

PRAYER: Lord, may I always repent of my sin not presume on your mercy or take your grace for granted but to worship you with a humble and contrite heart in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Shalom

WOMEN OF LIGHT INT PRAYER MIN.

[reallifetangent]

@sun-seeker-1 asked me for the parallels between GGAD and Sebinis/Gaullow

it's been a long while since I planted the ideas, and well, I might not remember all of them, but here I go:

(Please don't burn me alive, I have my own headcanons but I always try to keep them grounded and as attached as possible to the real canon, plus, I might not have all the facts and informations, I'm not a Wizarding World Wikipedia)

Seb and Albus: sick sister, dead parents, entered a duel/discussion of three, a familiar who opposes to their cause (Solomon/Aberforth) a newcomer third part (MC/Gellert) and himself. They both found a relic/myth to hold onto, thanks to the third part. The result of said confrontation ends and ruins the relationships when a familiar dies (in Albus' case was Ariana, in Seb's is his uncle), the sibling gets hurt/offended because they went too far this time (Anne and Aberforth after their familiar's death). They both know how to use people and their trust to get to their causes, either Albus using the Fantastic Beasts team to avoid getting his hands dirty or using the Chosen Ones (Harry and MC) to fulfill a purpose (even if Albus was for the Common Good, Seb for personal motives). Also their ability to walk away like nothing ever happened.

Seb and Gellert: share that impulse of using people and mediums to get to their objectives, even if Seb's intentions were purely healing Anne, Gellert's world domination. Dark Arts users, both clever and charming, sneaky, both with huge possibilities of ending up in Azkaban at the young ages of 15-16, also very gifted at duels. Gellert is a Slytherin vibe character, and deep down he had to be a nerd about things because of his dark arts experiments and his chase for the Deathly Hallows must require a lot of investigation, also there's a post that explains Sebastian's nerdy side and how much he investigated for his purposes. There's a moment where they say something and that makes others lose trust or walk carefully around them (Seb calling MC ignorant but still wanting them to be on his side or using MC's gift to get what he needed, Gellert after throwing away Abernathy or using Credence more than once then using him for his revenge against Albus, using Queenie but also hurting Jacob in front of everyone so she sees his real face). Due the game's plannings, the whole Azkaban or Not relies on MC and Ominis deciding if giving away Seb or not, Ominis has his reasons because Sebastian did whatever he wanted thinking he was excused but Seb was the only thing he had back then, Gellert is between the perspective of who unalived Ariana (I think it was Albus, accidentally or as a consequence of any small impact, she was already cursed to even sneeze beside her and she might not take it) and relying on that love Albus had for him, knowing what he meant/was, he knew Al wouldn't give him away, even less after losing another person of his life.

Omi and Albus: this is 50/50 based on my headcanons of Albus and my perception of Ominis. Both smart, really closed people, not everyone has to know their family history (Ominis had to open up to MC because that's how the game is meant to be, otherwise I don't think he'd open up to a random student in less than three months of class just because Sebastian told him to do so), so the others only know what they want them to know. Both have fucked up family issues, they don't like talking about it, experiences with Dark Arts. Had a soft spot for another boy around their age (Sebastian and Gellert. C'mon, this is a GGAD × Sebinis post, at some point I have to involve the romantic feelings), maybe not to the point of Lovers (I hold the theory that Gellert never loved Albus but that doesn't deny him playing the Lover boy game to get what he wants but at the same time I believe Gellert loved Albus too) but at least one side love and admiration, care, a second family when they felt like losing all (canon that Albus had Gellert as a comfort person after losing his mom and having to cancel his plans to take care of his siblings and the Sallows were the second home of Ominis since most of his family didn't want him around or he felt disappointed about them). I feel like them both have control issues, that their things are theirs (The Undercroft is Ominis and Sebastian's only, the betrayal when Seb shared it with MC. And the whole For The Greater Good thing was Albus and Gellert's until Albus stepped out). Also that, the stepping out of their History Hates Lovers Person's ideas, when they found out how far Gell/Seb were willing to go. The iconic "DiD YoU JuSt CoMe FrOm ThE UnDeRcRoFt???" is the Legacy Era for "HarRy dId yOu Put YouR NAme iNto tHe GobLeT oF FayEH?!?!"

Gellert and Ominis: again, Slytherin vibes, the clever side, prankster type of person, technically knows how to use their influences, family issues, gifted (Parselmouth and Seer), special eyes (blind and heterochromia), light color hair, not pretty clear their feelings towards Seb/Albus, but important enough. Found in them a second home too, Gellert after being expelled from Durmstrang and Omi's deattachment from his family. Aunties' boys (Shout-out to Noctua Gaunt and Bathilda Bagshot). Had a nice relationship with the sisters (I like my headcanon of Gell and Ariana being besties and Ominis and the Sallow Twins are the same Hogwarts house, same age, even shared home). Lonely people, trust issues, only a few actually know them to the core and loved them for that until things got out of hands.

GGAD & Sebinis: met when one of them were 15-16, both ships were/started in 1890's (before that might be childhood crush or not really knowing that was another type of love), the relationship took a break after the Three Way Duel and the familiar interrupting, but that doesn't mean they stopped loving each other or thinking the What Could've Been. Both ships know the good and bad sides, seeing themselves as equals (in any moment I think Sebastian downgrades Ominis for being blind, on the other hand he jokes with him about it), the whole Second Family, Personal Relief when hard times came, the four of them being smart, clever, getting away with theirs, skills to manipulate people, the whole Complicated Relationship between them, when a third part seems to ruin all (MC and Aberforth. C'mon, I really think Seb and Omi were more than okay with their unnamed relationship until MC started to show curious signs and getting Seb's interest and pulling him away from Ominis), I feel like they had the A Whole Life in 2 months/5 years of Hogwarts. One of them going further than expected but still the other doesn't have the hand or the heart to fully betray them (Albus really tried to avoid fighting Gellert, no matter what, Gellert tried to use Credence so he didn't have to kill Albus himself (not only the Blood Troth pact, Albus was someone for him and viceversa) and Omi and Seb had the whole Azkaban or not for a 15-16yo and Ominis relying on MC's decision because I don't think Omi had the heart, gut or stomach to turn in his best and only friend left and lose all).

And well, that's all I can elaborate for now! Hope it's understandable because English is not my main language, the whole Not a Wizarding World Wikipedia, my perceptions and headcanons and I'm a person that struggles with expression their ideas.

((Author's Note: yes I strongly dislike MC x Canon, it stresses me but that's a post for another day if you want to))

Two drawings i made different days, different concepts but somehow got intertwined.

Hanging at Hogwarts hallways (1890), based on videos of Sebastian eating apples and Ominis reading (Braille invented in 1824, and even if it's a muggle method, i like to think he doesn't care)

Ominis in 1899, nine years after his bestfriend/bro/pal/boyfriend/"history hates lovers" person was taken away to a reformatory or Azkaban. Only his memory stayed.

Like always, Ominis has a green strap for his wand (almost impossible to use Expelliarmus against him)

Why 1899? Because my main Era in the Wizarding World is the Summer of 1899 and you guys should know i have my parallels between Gaullow and Grindeldore.

[sorcererrezan]

unconvinced

congratulations on outdoing yourself yet AGAIN with chapter 7 @ataleofcrowns 💛 you are truly on another level queen 😌✨

prompt: “Then tell me, how can I convince you?” (list here) pairing: X/crown rating: spicy T 😏 word count: 1,929 summary: ‘It would be so easy to make him kneel for you, the way he clearly wants to—’ 

Crown Navid shows Xelef that two can play his game.

—

Liar. 

It’s what the earth spirits had said, but now, ensconced in his palace, where he has invited in those who are merely curious about him at best and possibly strategizing his murder at worst, Navid hears it in his own voice.

The control he has maintained since Ishrah and Siham opened his doors this morning squeezes around his chest. It pinches and he can feel his heart bursting out of the gaps of its hold, turning into spikes.

Navid’s eyes thin into slits of piercing gold. His tone, now devoid of its casual charm, is flat. Unamused. “I’m not convinced.”

Xelef, just as persistent, gauges him. Navid can pinpoint the exact moment the sellsword decides on his next tactic, green eyes shifting hues like a turning emerald.

“Then tell me, how can I convince you?” 

Just as much as Xelef is surely leaning on his sensory abilities, Navid’s awareness of the situation rises. Above his disrespected aggravation and Xelef’s agile contortions he can see the conflict between his own present and Xelef’s past. In the back of his mind he notes a sense of affronted duplicity—isn’t this the same man that warned him against self-destructive paralysis, the one that saw through his worries leading up to today and offered reassuring distraction?

Why can’t Xelef use that insight to understand the position he’s put a newly coronated Crown in, instead of to devise an escape from the consequences of his impulses?

Xelef steps close, as skilled at wielding a weapon as he is his own body. Navid’s thick brows furrow at himself, at the way his reaction betrays him, heart rabbiting in response to the enticingly deep fragrance clouding the mercenary, the ridges and valleys of his form set in such a tantalizing display. Navid can feel the heat from Xelef’s bare chest even through the rich fabric of his ceremonial robes and the magic imbued in them. Xelef’s hand on his shoulder is a reminder of his size and strength, of his willful potential to overpower.  

“Shall I beg you again, on my knees this time?” 

Every single thing about him is a distraction.

If Xelef wanted to keep up their easy flirtation from this morning, he shouldn’t have soured it by testing the limits of Navid’s control. But now that he has…

An open palm finds the heated skin of Xelef’s abdomen, gliding across hard muscles; callouses catching on the random, puckered skin of his scars. Navid can hear Xelef’s rushed inhale before it turns into a low chuckle. He lets his lips brush against the goosebumps on Xelef’s neck before he murmurs, breath hot on his ear, “Kneel, mercenary.”

The last word is a sharp hiss, accompanied by the bite of his blunt nails on Xelef’s bare skin. The muscles underneath his touch jump as Navid pulls him down, fingertips gliding up his torso along the way. Xelef would look almost reverent, on his knees before him like this, if it weren’t for the devious gleam of getting what he wanted in his eyes.

Navid’s lips twist into something wicked.

“Beg for my forgiveness,” he repeats, voice husky, one hand cradling Xelef’s jaw in a commanding grip. Navid feels powerful. Different from the ways before when he has bent Xelef to his will because this time, there’s no perceptive audience. 

Distraction or not, this is all for him.

Xelef bites his bottom lip and Navid eyes the plumpness of it, gaze sharpening in vindication as the man in front of him lets out a shaky, almost whining, exhale. 

“Please forgive me, Navid,” dark eyelashes flutter in a practiced way that Navid is nonetheless susceptible to. The use of his given name throws him off guard, widening his stare. Another distraction, or an attempt at sincerity? Only the Void knows for sure.

Navid nods, letting some of his cool charm return in an inviting smile. The hand on Xelef’s jaw slides to cradle the back of his head, fingers threading through the smooth locks of his hair. “You look good like this, Xelef.”

“So do you,” he eyes Navid hungrily, not even hiding the lascivious way his stare roves from right below his waistline, up the slim taper of his waist, the flare of his shoulders, then lingers on his lips before making eye contact and meeting fire with fire. 

Navid’s smile shifts into a smirk and he tightens his hand into a domineering fist, pulling Xelef’s hair, holding him in precarious place as he leans over him. He makes a show of sliding his eyes from Xelef’s to his mouth as he bends closer then closer still, until the mercenary’s long lashes flutter closed in anticipation.

Their lips are separated only by their breath when Navid tugs—not gently—and Xelef lets out a choked half of a groan.

“Don’t ever deign to undermine me like that again. Especially not amongst these vultures,” Navid spits the last word out, voice testy and dangerous in a way Xelef has never heard before. He conceals his unspoken ‘I need you on my side.’ in another jarring pull of his hair, forcing Xelef to bare his throat to him. “Do you understand, Pale Sword?”

From his vantage point he can see Xelef’s desperate swallow, can hear the submission in his shaky exhale of a response. “Yes… my Crown.”

“Good.”

Navid breaks away like a glacier’s cliff dropping into the sea. For half a second Xelef crumples, not expecting the loss of support so immediately, before his muscles clench and he regains his balance. Spirits help him, but he is not immune to the way Xelef’s abdominals, framed by the rich textures of his formalwear, dance under his tanned, hairy skin.

Navid keeps a calculated, cunning look on his face as Xelef rises on his own, eyeing him in equal parts defeated respect and surprised annoyance. 

“I suppose I deserved that,” comes the begrudging admission. Finally, Xelef’s sincerity outweighs Navid’s doubts.

“Don’t mistake my reciprocation of your attention for naïveté,” Navid pins him with a knowing stare, a reminder that as much as Xelef can see through him, he can see the same. And to let him know that, even still, he wants to continue cultivating this “whatever you want it to be” that’s growing between them. Navid doesn’t know what Xelef’s romantic past looks like—and doesn’t much care—but if Xelef wants to keep courting his favor, he needs to know that there are harsh lines that Navid will not allow him to cross. 

“I’m sick of people hiding things I should know from me.”

The last part comes out more resentful than Navid intends, tinged with his turbulent reflections about his parents’ debilitating omissions and how exhausting it is to think of learning to divine the nobility’s nebulous motives and intentions.  

“You’ve known me for mere days, and you expect me to bare all my secrets to you because I helped you once?” Xelef snaps back, patience run ragged after Navid turned the tables on him. It stings. The fatigue of the day’s emotions slams into Navid all at once, his hurt the delayed catalyst. 

He takes a deep breath, recentering himself. Is his pride worth it? They’ve both made their point. And he doesn’t quite yet know where the line for Xelef is, when taking advantage of their attraction to each other morphs into something destructive. 

He sighs. So many calculations today, mind overstuffed by the endless observations he’s made to try to perceive everyone around him. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Navid shrugs, closing himself off from the weight of it all. He never asked for any of this responsibility, still doesn’t understand why the spirits chose him. Did they do it with the person he could’ve been before he spent a decade on the run in mind? Or with the decorated shell of a man he is now, desperately trying to fill his insides after those he trusted to protect and guide him failed? Maybe he really is naive, for dreaming that his problems could be solved simply by finding his sorcerer and finally becoming the Crown.

“You’re right, after all. We’ve only known each other a short time, and we’re not friends. I’m only your employer, right?” If Xelef wants to shield himself with that context, so be it. Navid is just as good at hiding.

“Navid…” Regret paints Xelef’s face an unfamiliar expression. 

“It is what it is. You have your secrets. I have mine.” 

“I didn’t mean—”

“Xelef,” he interrupts tiredly with an open palm. “It’s alright. I understand. Just don’t get me killed.”

Navid forces a smile to soften the jibe, retreating back into performance. Xelef opens his mouth as if to say something, brow bunched as he seems to sway between decisions.

“I’ll just see you—”

“The Mîrs of Rojan and I have a long, bloody history together. I don’t want to speak of Behram, but…” 

Xelef holds Navid’s gaze, still wavering for a beat before choosing his path. Something parts behind his eyes, something that allows both of them to see. How alike they are. How tired. How terrified and cautiously hopeful.

Xelef tells his story about Behram’s predecessor. Navid listens raptly, fully aware that this vulnerability could be fleeting, and hangs onto it. The part of him that doesn’t ache for Xelef as he unravels the tragedy of his childhood is grateful for the distraction from his own maelstrom of trauma and emotions.

“Then why did you help me?” Navid asks, feeling the gulf of his status between him and Xelef more distinctly than ever.

“I… had my own reasons,” he doesn’t meet Navid’s eyes when he answers. Though it’s not the reassurance that he wanted to hear—that he did it for more than just the potential of gold or vengeance—at least it’s the truth.

“In any case, does this sate your curiosity a little bit?” 

Navid recognizes the attempt at lightheartedness as a tool, though just like with his own attempt earlier, it’s outweighed by the ghosts that linger around them both. 

“Is this usually how you leave people sated after kneeling for them?” It’s not quite the same playfulness that’s usually between the two of them, not after what they’ve found out about each other today, but it proves that they can bounce back. Move forward, together.

“No, but today was a special occasion,” Xelef smiles, though it looks dim on his face. It flickers away, making room for the solemnity in his voice. “You should know—I told you that because I wanted to.”

“I do know.”

Navid reaches for Xelef, this time with no ulterior motive, but someone clears their throat before they touch. 

“Yes?” Navid tries not to let exasperation color his tone—the guards don’t deserve his ire. Still, he can’t help but be disappointed at the interruption, especially since this feels like some sort of breakthrough between him and Xelef.

“Forgive the intrusion, Your Imperial Majesty.”

Ah, right. The banquet and its accompanying expectations. Navid sighs, imagining the steam rising from the bath he plans on sinking into after all this. Alone.

“You go on ahead,” Xelef concedes. “I think I need some time to myself.”

“Will I see you later?”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” relief flushes out Navid’s discordant emotions, and he holds on to the smile that Xelef sends his way to bolster him for the rest of the night. “You haven’t paid me yet, after all.”

“I’m good for it,” Navid hopes his returning smile, laden with the complications of things said and unsaid but sanguine nonetheless, does the same for Xelef. 

[itszemo]

(    *    & .    ---    GRAPPLING  WITH  REALITY .

*   helmut  zemo  x  fem!reader . warnings  for  sexual  content   &   light  angst .   —    ‘   1710 words  ’

WITH   YOUR   BACK   TO   the building, you took slow calculated steps and your eyes strained to focus on the inanimate shapes in the dark alley. You could hear rats scurrying in and around a dumpster and the steady drip of water hitting a puddle on the ground. With one hand you gripped your glock, with the other you supported it, and your weapon led you to an entry way that was recessed into the building wall. You relied on your sixth sense, it had saved you many times before, this ability to get the drop on your adversary. Those who knew you, never underestimated this skill, and Zemo knew you well.

He reached out and grabbed you, with one arm firmly entrapping your arms and encircling your waist, and his other hand clamped over your mouth, he pulled you against him and stepped back into the door way  That split second you needed to defend yourself was lost when he jerked you up off of your feet.

"Stop it." He muttered into your ear. "It's me." He kept his grip on you and when he felt you struggle, he squeezed you tighter until you gasped for air. "Enough!"

You knew it was him, and you knew you were only here because of him. You finally stopped trying to free yourself and as you relaxed, the tension left his body as well. He set you back down on your feet and the adrenaline that spiked through you both started to subside. He took his hand off of your mouth, but kept his arm across your neck.

"Why are we here?" You were suspicious of his motives, and although you always knew he wouldn't kill you, hurting you was a different story.

"I should ask you that question." He released you from his vice like grip, and turned you around, slamming you against the wall and holding onto the arm that held the gun.

There are feelings we can't rationally explain, and impulses that take hold of us without a thought to the consequences. You could pretend they didn't exist, but reality always comes back to find you. It was confusing and no matter how much you both tried to prevent it from happening, it became inevitable. This shared vulnerability, it made you weak, and this is where the real danger lay.

"Helmut, let go of me." You whispered, your eyes searching his. He glared at you, but released your arm and you slowly tucked the gun into small of your back.

This was, you decided, the substance that makes people crazed. What the two of you had between you was almost tangible and it had become your favorite enemy. Without warning, you grabbed the lapels of his coat and pulled him down to your lips.

Zemo saw it coming, it was how he remembered it, the kiss ran deep, urgent and smoldered. Your tongues explored and invaded, sweeping against each other while every one of your senses told you to forget what you knew and to savor what you felt.

Only the most fortunate experience this feeling of euphoria, and when you whimpered with pleasure, a hot hard burn that only you could produce, coursed through him. Zemo pressed himself against you, his hands snaked their way around your waist and you tilted your head back, his lips caressed the side of your neck and finally brushed against your ear. His breath was hot and moist and neither could stop yourselves from grinding your hips against each other.

"Not here." His voice was just above a whisper, and he pushed you away, holding you at arms length.

You cursed at him under your breath. "Where then?" You seethed, wondering if this were some kind of trick, but when he found a rectangular plate on the door and lifted the cover and punched in a code, you smirked. The door latch released and he took you by the hand and led you inside.

It was nothing you had imagined, the cavernous room with multiple rows of large wooden crates, stacked on one another.  The only light came from beyond the pallets. He pulled you through the maze and in the far corner of the room was a doorway and inside lay a large sectional sofa made of black leather, and you thought to yourself, it's perfect.

Zemo unbuttoned his overcoat, slipped it off and draped it over the back of the sofa. His black dress shirt and slacks gave him an ominous appearance, and so did the look in his eyes. He pulled you toward him and unzipped your jacket, and with more force than necessary, he stripped it off of you, causing you to catch your breath. It was a warning of things to come and you welcomed it. He held his hand out and you untucked your glock from your back and laid it in his palm, this became a moment of trust, or maybe, surrender.

He gathered you in his arms and you wound your own arms around his neck and your fingers twined in his hair. Once again, your tongues found each other, and he pressed himself against you. When he felt your knees buckle under the spell of his kiss, he reveled in the knowledge that he had this effect on you. He eased you back on the sofa and when you sat down and leaned back and opened your legs, he kneeled down between them. He lifted your sweater up and over your head and reached behind you with one hand and unhooked your strapless bra. It fell away, and your nipples tightened, not from the cool air, but from anticipation.

Zemo could never disappoint you, and he cupped your breasts in his hands, your breathing became ragged and you arched your back toward him. He took one rose colored tip between his lips and when he flicked his tongue against it, you moaned and squirmed under his attention. When he used his thumb and forefinger to roll the other one between his fingers, it made you cry out.

"Helmut... don't... stop..." You begged, arching toward him under his touch.

When you could take no more, you straightened up to find his eyes were dark pools of passion. You both knew, what he felt was magnified by how you reacted. You reached out to him and pulled at his shirt, the buttons pulling and popping out of their button holes. You tugged it off, and it was your turn to bestow attention on him. Your fingernails scraped along his bare chest and they traced the muscles carved in his lean build. You played with his nipples and felt him twitch, and when you dug your fingers into his flesh, he gripped your waist, holding you in place. You lifted your hips ever so slightly and he slipped his fingers into the waistband of your pants and slid them and your black panties down to your knees. You gave no resistance when one leather boot came off and then the next, followed by the rest of your clothing.

You urged him to come closer, fingering and unbuckling the leather belt around his waist. Next you undid the button on his waistband, and finally you lowered the zipper of his trousers down. You could readily see how how aroused he was and how his body strained to escape from the confines of his clothing. You freed him and ran your fingers along his length, and this time, it was his turn to beg for mercy.

"Liebling... you're making me crazy..." He whispered into your ear, his low voice thick with lust. Once you closed your fist around him, it took little time for the rest of his clothes to be added to the pile you had created, and it took a fraction of that time to find himself stretched out next to you.

You felt his hand trail down your body and when he reached between your thighs, he found you wet with desire. He slipped one finger into you, and than another and continued to stroke you, until he felt that precious agony build inside of you. You writhed with passion and finally reached down and clutched his wrist.

"I want you to be inside of me, I want to feel you inside of me." You murmured.

Zemo positioned himself over you and hooked his arms under your legs and leaned forward causing your hips to rise. This made you ravenous for him and he overwhelmed your senses when he drove into you in one smooth thrust. When you wrapped your legs around him, neither knew, who strained to meet the other first. You found the rhythm that caused your hearts to beat wildly and the relentless torment that only two bodies can create goaded you on. When you were covered with a sheen of sweat, your control finally shattered, you came first, pleading for release and shuddering fast and hard. The onslaught of sensation that had taken you hostage made you buck up against him, and only when he knew you had tipped over the edge, did he allow his own climax to collide with yours. You were tight, velvety and every movement caused him to tremble, and finally, he let go. The gruff sounds of his ecstasy filled the room as he fought to regain his sanity.

This was the madness you both endured, when common sense is drowned out by heat and passion. When the thought of one another makes you ache with desire and causes your actions to become reckless.

Hours later when Zemo opened his eyes, he felt groggy and disoriented, he was sprawled on the leather sofa with his overcoat draped over him, your warm lithe body was missing, and so was your clothing, your boots, and your gun. He saw the tiny syringe on the floor, and knew you had drugged him. It made him angry, yet he understood your reasons. You were addicted to each other and both knew addictions were dangerous. Like every time, the feeling of loss caused him to grapple with reality. He closed his eyes and wondered when the next time would come, when the two of you would come crashing down on each other.

—   comment to be added to my taglist .

[samdotdocx]

A very long-winded essay about why I love Night in the Woods and The Ramayana makes me Big Mad ft. Lets Talk About Mental Illness™

So I was in this class called 'The Ecology of Language". Excellent class, 10/10 would recommend - and especially relevant in the Indian context in particular, but that's a topic for another day.

One of the things we talked about was the concept of 'relatibality' in media, which, I'm sure we can all agree is a large component of contemporary character or story-line development. Considering the context of modern readers, what that sometimes ends up looking like (in our society that is built on constantly being told we are lacking, and the subsequent need to satisfy manufactured desires), is some wonderfully nuanced characters in stories stories that are three-dimensional, well rounded, and well developed and written. It's pretty great. And sometimes, what that means is that we have excellent characters that don't conform to the standard 'protagonist' stereotype. They might not even be 'good' (this is NOT a villain-apologist post). In fact, they might be complete idiots. They might be the people in stories who make all the wrong choices.

One such relatable character is Mae, and it's because she's an unmitigated train-wreck.

Anyone who knows the game probably knows what I'm talking about when I say the illustration style and character designs are gorgeous. Anyone who's ever dissociated probably knows what I'm talking about when I say that illustration style and character design were excellently used to create the sort of subliminal, surreal state of Mae's mind. And as you play the game, you see how that state of mind plays with the other characters, and - spoiler - it isn't great.

This is the first of the relatable aspects of Mae’s character; there are people around her who love her and are worried about her, but at the same time, are angry and irritated about her behaviour. At what point does it become too much to ask of those around you to forgive all your continuous and repetitive mistakes? Even if you have a good reason for it, mental illness is not an excuse for being exploitative, even if it is unintentional. Mae is not trying to hurt the people around her, but she constantly needs emotional labour from them – it’s exhausting, and people’s patience is going to run out eventually, as is their right.

Another aspect of this behaviour is the lack of reciprocity, an example of this being when Bea’s mother died of cancer – and Mae didn’t even notice.

There are several instances of Mae’s thoughtless behaviour throughout the game; she gets completely wasted and makes a scene at the party, gets jealous of of Greg and Angus because they’re leaving the town without her, and ends up destroying the radiator Bea was supposed to fix, getting her in trouble.

The thing is though, that Mae is given the opportunity to fix her mistakes.

A large part of relatability is the want so see yourself in a character. Mae is relatable to me because there are several circumstances and events in our lives that match up, but more than that; the game is an interactive visualization of her healing process. Her nine steps, if you will. She is given a second chance – and that chance is hard won, particularly in the context of the game.

Mae talks about feeling like she’s falling behind, of knowing that she is, in a way, wasting an opportunity that was a privilege in the first place, especially considering her family’s financial situation – but at the same time, being literally unable to help herself. And the aspects of the gameplay that hint at the supernatural elements of the story possibly being a figment of Mae’s imagination – well. All us depressed losers know what it's like to not be able to trust your own judgement and point of view. She talks about why she dropped out of college, and her description of the dissociation, and the mental and emotional deadening that it causes is spot on and so well represented.

It underscores the point that the logical brain knows that mental illness is an illness like any other – but the emotional brain doesn’t care.

The game does a brilliant job of laying bare the realities of middle class life, and makes painfully clear the fact that, at that level, it doesn’t matter how difficult things are for you. The world isn’t going to wait for you to get back on your feet.

Mae’s mental state and the limitations it imposes on her cultivates a state of extreme frustration. Again, relatable. It’s an understated aspect of illness of any kind; the anger at yourself, and how that anger carries over into a lot of things in your day to day life. After a point, it becomes a habit. Mae does this too; she's belligerent, and instigative, and unrepentant of consequences, because anger blinds you.

It's not how things will always be. I have the privilege of hindsight, so I can say that with authority. But, this isn’t the kind of thing that ever fully leaves you, either. If you break a kneecap, it’s going to bother you for the rest of your life, and similarly, mental illness has a ‘no return, no refund’ policy. So you grow up, and you try to adapt those habits and impulses into a more positive context. Recycling, right? Maybe you set your sights on things that actually deserve your anger, and you go from there. You find people who, for their own reasons, perhaps or perhaps not related to your own, are angry.

And you don’t understand the people who are not.

A large part of the anger and frustration surrounding mental illness is due to the stigma surrounding it. It’s frustrating to be so powerless and dependent, but this is exacerbated by the attitude of ‘it can’t be that bad’, which makes it so difficult to reach out, to be able to say, ‘I need a break’ – and actually get one. This is an attitude that carries over to a lot of other issues as well, and the worst part is – we are surrounded by people who are okay with it, who believe in and support that mentality.

The myth of Sita, for example. She is a strong female figure in Indian mythology, who overcomes her circumstances to live a ‘good’ life, and for all intents and purposes, is a hell of a role model.

But that’s the thing; her life wasn’t good, was it? She was supposed be a goddess reincarnated, she should have been powerful, and respected, but instead she is reduced to ‘wife’ – and everyone today is fine with it.

I respect her immensely for the choices she made; marrying for love was her choice, going into exile with her husband was her choice. She was the paragon of virtue, of 'wifeliness', of kindness – she chose her husband over everyone and everything else, including herself, as was expected of her. But yet – she couldn't win his trust or respect. It should not even have needed to be won.

It’s commendable the way she takes it all in stride, but why did she? She was kidnapped and held captive for years, entirely against her will, and her husband's response to that is to force her to walk through fire to prove her ‘purity’ – and she does it. And she stays with him after, and I cannot understand the depths of her patience and forgiveness, because I would have been livid, and I want her to be so too. I’m furious for her, because Ram was not just her husband, he was also the king, and his later verdict to exile her, alone, while heavily pregnant, his readiness to condemn her based on speculation and public sentiment, was not just a verdict against her, it was against every woman in his kingdom who had ever been victimised.

Sita became a martyr to the modern feminist movement – if she could not be angry on her own behalf, we will do it for her. But at the same time, she is still relatable, because we are held to a slightly lesser degree of the same expectations. There are always going to be aspects of things that you relate to. ‘Big Mood’ culture is a strong indicator of the human ability to empathise, especially with characters that you like, or respect.

Sita’s world, I imagine, was run by the expectations her society and community had of her, and maybe she didn’t even have the liberty to be angry. Who is responsible for portraying her in passive acceptance of her fate? Is that representation reliable? Would the story have been different had it been written by a woman?

I can't remember a time when I was not angry, especially about things like this. I am always ready to fight, and I think the same goes for so many other people today, sometimes to our detriment. I cannot imagine a world where that was not at the very least an option. Not necessarily the best option, - but Sita’s world was very different to ours. Even with centuries between us, we’ve just gotten over angry and depressed women being labelled as ‘hysterical’ and subsequently being locked away. What is it like, to have to be calm and careful in response to being treated like this? This care in response may not be an overt requirement anymore – though the fact remains that society will not take you seriously if you become hysterical - but shouldn't you, at the very least, be able to rely on the support of other people in the same boat?

That is the main difference in these stories, and another main point of relatability to me; Mae, like myself, had a support system. Sita did not. Mae was selfish and demanding in so many ways, and required a lot of time and patience and healing before she was able to give back, but she got there eventually because she was able to put herself first. She fought for herself, and when she couldn’t, she had other people to fight for her. Night in the Woods represents the intersection of oppressed minorities and community with their portrayal of Mae, Greg, and Angus in particular, and the importance of community support – and, the difference between geographical community, and communities formed through camaraderie and actual unity. And so does the Ramayana - except, where was Sita’s community? Where were her sisters, or her parents, when she was abandoned in the woods, and later when she committed suicide? We are well aware, in the modern day, of the state of mind that causes people to kill themselves, and yet that is a part of the story that we never talk about. Where were her people then?

What would have happened if she had been more like Mae, and put herself first instead of bleeding herself dry for people who never respected her, and would never do the same for her?

People relate to personalities. They relate to choices, and circumstances, and habits, and it is neither a good nor a bad thing, to be relatable or not. Sita will be highly relatable to people who, like her, were governed by their circumstances, and were screwed over despite their best efforts. People who felt they couldn’t, or shouldn’t exercise their power and agency. Sita’s death was at odds with her strong personality, and so was her deference to her fate on many occasions, but there are a lot of people out there who will relate to the feeling of simply wanting things to be over. Mae on the other hand; she’s a steamroller, and she doesn’t stop. There’s a reason her character is a cat, and jokingly referred to as feral in the game. She is persistent, she is growing.

[1] In Defence of Kaikeyi and Draupadi: a Note – by Fritz Blackwellhttps://www.jstor.org/stable/23334398?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents [2] https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/emergency-room-wait-times-sexism/410515/

[dontbipanicjonsa]

Let's talk about 8x04

(Skipping writing about episode 3 because of obvious reasons.)

At this point, it's getting very hard to tell what is Pol!Jon and what is "oh no I fucked my aunt". Their relationship is disintegrating fast.

1) Sansa's motivations.

If there's anything this episode confirmed for me, it's that Sansa is not motivated by a desire for personal gain (not that I had doubts before).

Her line from S6 comes to mind:

"If we don't take back the North, we'll never be safe."

That's it. That's her motivation in a nutshell. Two things are important here, being safe and the North. In her mind they are inextricably linked.

I think she believes (for good reason) that for her and her family's safety, a Stark has to have power in the North. Exactly which Stark is much less important (she's ready to make Bran Lord of Winterfell, she loyally kept Jon's crown safe through S7, he's still the Warden in the North even tho she's the Lady of Winterfell). Basically, Stark power in the North means safety to her.

Another motivation for her is Northern Independence. I think a part of that is again linked to Starks being in power in the North. She doesn't trust people sitting on the Iron Throne. And a part of it is the independence part. She, her family and much of the North bled and died for that independence, and she cannot give it up so easily.

The real motivation she has in this episode tho is protecting Jon. She says as much herself. Tyrion points out that with Jon in the South, Sansa is the power in the North, but Sansa's mind is on keeping Jon North (aka safe). The moment she told Tyrion his secret kinda reminded me of Cat freeing Jaime. It's a dangerous gamble that they're taking, but in that moment they decide to fuck it because if the gamble pays off, then the people they love (Sansa, Arya, Jon) will be safe. Sansa is fighting for Jon in this moment.

2) I don't wanna bitch about Dany but....

Can't she have said any throwaway line acknowledging the whole "the man I thought is my father actually isn't my father" crisis Jon was probably having inside his head??? Did she really just make his parentage all about her?? Nobody tell me she loves him.

Honestly, I think she's a great character (in the books). Going down a dark path, yes, but still great. The show makers appear to be hurrying along her descent now. This entire scene was jarring.

Moving on from the bitching-

Danaerys is really doubling down on the "what's mine", "the rightful Queen", and even "her destiny" now. The problem is that she's technically wrong. Jon has a better claim than her, and she knows it. Saying that he could take what's hers is plain incorrect. Now if she said, "fuck claims anyway. I've worked for this Throne" I would respect that. At least it's self aware.

3) The lady doth protest too much..?

I think Jon spent half this episode saying, "I don't want the Throne", "you are my Queen", and "she'll be a good Queen". Maybe I'm imagining it, but there is urgency in his words. He's trying to convince the people he is talking to. Who is he talking to?

Dany, Sansa and Arya.

Funny thing tho, in that same conversation with Sansa and Arya, it's established that he "did what he had to" because they needed Danaerys to fight the WW. Now this doesn't contradict his tag lines this episode exactly...but they don't seem entirely congruent with each other either. "Had to" implies a reluctance. Like his hand was forced. At the same time, even tho he keeps talking about how she'll be a good Queen, he provides no reasons for why he believes that, no explanation...only these lines. It makes for an unconvincing argument (sorry Jon).

Someone does say that Dany would be a good Queen because "people follow her" (either Tyrion or Jon) but we already know that's not true. People have not followed her since she came to Westeros, and while the show makes a point of establishing that Jon is liked by his people all the more for his role in the Great War, the same cannot be said for Dany.

So here we have Jon and Tyrion both defending "their Queen" hard. It is known that Tyrion, despite his protests, is having serious doubts about Dany. It is known that he is afraid of her (Sansa establishes that in her conversation with him). It is known that he is aware of her "worst impulses".

Why then, is Jon not? Why is he not having serious doubts? Why is he not afraid of her? Why is he not aware of her worst impulses? How can he not be?

The simple answer is, he is.

4) the "stfu or I stg" look.

The look he gives Sansa during the battle planning meet where she suggests letting the troops rest. Honestly? It's a sound suggestion. Jon, who has been Lord Commander, led people in battle, and is generally not known for mistreating his troops should agree with her. So why does he shut her down so hard, and with that look?

Dany says, "the longer I wait, the stronger my enemies grow". Which enemies?

It's a safe assumption to make that Dany is including Sansa in that list of enemies. As Tyrion says to Sansa (I don't remember the words exactly) but something to the effect of "it's easier to give in to her (Dany)" and Sansa immediately catches that Tyrion is afraid of Dany.

Now Jon is forcing Sansa to give in to Dany.....you see where I'm going with this.

This, along with his insistence that Dany is his Queen and she will be a good Queen....

Here's the thing. There are three things that could be happening here.

First, Jon is afraid of Dany and is being extremely accommodating to keep the heat off himself, and forcing Sansa to do the same.

Second, he's really Stockholm Syndromed his way into falling in love with Dany and he means everything he says.

Third, he has miraculously lost his critical thinking skills, his ability to see and hear Dany making some very dark threats (itching to burn KL, increasingly paranoid about Tyrion and Sansa, only concerned with the better claim that Jon now has on her Throne) and all his brain cells.

I know which of these things I want to believe.

5) In love?

Are Jon and Dany in love?

Danaerys is not. She felt something for him, yes, but now that she's discovered his parentage....her priorities are abundantly clear. She does not trust him, she is concerned only with the consequences this reveal has on her claim.

Her reaction is a mix of legitimate fear that this may be the end of her, a more concerning sentiment of "what it will do to the people" because what exactly will it do to the people...? A fear that he will "take what's hers" nevermind that she's supposed to love and trust him and he hasn't done anything himself to prove he's untrustworthy, and a fear of what it will do to "us" (?what?).

Does this make me think she honestly loves him? No.

Does he love her? It doesn't look like it. But we've already established that it's never particularly looked like he loves her. The question now is why does he keep insisting that he is subservient to her? Where does Pol!Jon end and the breakdown of their relationship begin?

The greatest irony of Jonerys is that it's supposed to be the most epic love story, but it's the story of two people that are incapable of truly loving each other.

6) are you seriously telling me

Are you seriously telling me that Jon reluctantly gives away his crown to this woman because he felt that he was left with no choice (and the woman greatly contributed to making him feel that way) and he simultaneously falls in love with her?

Honestly? It's a bit reminiscent of Yggrite. The entire story from Jon going to Dragonstone till now is very reminiscent of Yggrite. I would just like to believe that Jon's character has developed and grown since Yggrite.

And if Dany is Yggrite, then she's an Yggrite who is threatening mass murder and the lives of Jon's family. Are you seriously telling me Jon is capable of loving that (in a healthy way)?

My god. I get what people say now about Jon's character being assassinated. Pol!Jon is really my only option if I want to keep his character somewhat consistent. I guess we have to make our own consistency in this world too.

Note- these are only my ramblings and they are filled with my personal opinion and biases. I'm only saying what I think, not that I'm right.

[enneamage]

HELLO PAGING DOCTOR ENNEAWIZARD

so, a lot of the time, i wonder what happened with schlatt and quackity. i'm sure it's all fine and that they're on decent (probably distant) terms, but, ya know ... 🤔

anyway, it makes me think, since the enneagram institute's description of 8+4 relationships is ... interesting.

the darker parts of the write-up reminds me a lot of their respective characters during the old manburg days. like, not the CCs, but the characters.

it's weird and kind of funny how even though their on-screen CC relationship barely resembled those parts, when schlatt and quackity were both like "let's be as toxic as possible in minecraft as a joke" ... THAT'S the way it manifested.

food for thought!

Ah, I see you found the “well, someone is feeling brave” 8/4 entry as foreboding/funny as I did. Compatibility lists try to play it neutral but occasionally you get a gem like that. I can see why in the abstract, but the good news is I feel like Q and Schlatt are just friends that come and go in phases rather than subject to real explosive blowouts. It seems more likely that it was introversion and natural work-related drift than anything sinister. Q also likes to keep his friendships to himself before he makes content with people so he might be smuggling some Schlatt here and there behind the scenes.

Play-Fighting during lore and being someone’s villain is such a trust-fall thing that the irony is c!schlackity proves how stable their friendship was. They were both able to take the full heat of the other and be like “this is fun :D.” Being allowed to come and go probably prevents the hyper-intense energy that the 4/8 relationship models talk about, so they seem safe from it this way.

If I’ve got my secondhand irl lore right they were quite close for a while, but the thing that brought them together was Quackity being ostracised, so the conditions around their relationship changing might have even been positive. If they were to fight, I don’t know what they would have fought about since they’ve both got such a well defined private streak. It’s not impossible that there was some friction, but I haven’t caught wind of any evidence for it.

Below the break I’m copy-pasting a long section from this website because the romance writeup is… unprecedented.  

Romantically, there is much potential for these two to feel deeply, if not dangerously, attracted to one another. As volatile, emotionally expressed people, these two are drawn to one another’s storminess and raw vulnerability. In the other, they see someone who possesses more than meets the eye. Additionally, both Fours and Eights have a very embodied and heartfelt intuition, which usually becomes activated in each other’s presence. Fours have a heightened sense of their own and others’ deeper feelings, while Eights have an accurate radar about external phenomena unfolding around them—together, these two can feel supercharged, as if they possess superhuman abilities. Full of passion, and often ruled by more impulsive tendencies, these two take on the world one thrill at a time, savoring the heightened sense of their aliveness they feel when together. They feel excited, wild, and turned on, which can lead to great passion, but also great recklessness. Fours are attracted to Eight’s strength and protective nature—Fours feel safe, nurtured, and cherished by the solid, practical, grounded Eight. Eights, on the other hand, are attracted to Four’s mysterious, hidden depths, and feel continually enticed by the inner world of this person they may never fully understand. They are both attracted to the feeling of being emotionally met by the other, as if at last here is someone who can not only handle them but also enjoy the ride with them. While thrilling, this natural vitality can also have painful consequences. When their need for (and love of) drama turns on each other and conflict arises, their genuine connection becomes engulfed in argumentative fighting (and possibly physical violence), and typically remains there. Because of their addiction to intensity, if their loving relationship burns away in favor of a more hostile one, these two will usually stay locked in fiery fighting to continue to feel some way toward one another. Fighting can become a standard way of communicating. Also, of course, every fight needs some resolution, the intensity of which can also draw these two in. Lured by the immediacy and the drama, these two can get stuck in a cycle of fighting and making up, fighting and making up, just because life is more exciting that way. There is also a high probability they turn to emotional manipulation as a means of controlling one another. Fours can become withholding and secretive, while Eights can become verbally aggressive. These two will enjoy the thrill of causing scenes in public, and will often put their problems on display as a way of baiting the other. This is the most passionate coupling of the Enneagram, but also the most likely to deteriorate into verbal and physical abuse. Often, after a particular high-level emotional pitch has been reached, these two will feel like they can’t help themselves: the abuse, the drama, the constant fighting are merely out of their control. They know they should stop, but just can’t. Their passionate feelings turn into ruinously impulsive actions, intensely personal pain, and obsession.

[literaphobe]

thinking about how in season 1 episode 3 of glitch techs on miko’s first day of work her mom looks at her upsettingly and tells her she needs to focus if she wants to keep her job or do well at it. miko, who very clearly has adhd, is upset by this and is desperate to be that focused kid so she can prove her mother wrong

she ends up doing a lot of impulsive things as she chases game glitches because of this, leaving her and her partner, five, alone with no backup to face a high level game monster that they’re under-qualified to fight. miko also breaks her gauntlet in the process and this makes her think that her mother is right. that she isn’t good enough and can’t focus and can’t do anything right. she thinks she’s going to lose her job, just like what her mom said. their boss calls five and miko tells him to speak the truth, so miko can suffer the consequences alone

miko is shown to think of five as someone who can focus and who deserves to keep his job, who can do his job properly. throughout the day, in her attempts to be focused, she mirrors five and copies ‘focused’ things he does. five takes down notes copiously while their boss briefs them? miko tries to do that too, writing random things she think might be important on her arm. she thinks of five as someone with good plans, someone who loves plans, and someone who’s not as big of an unfocused mess as she is. she admires that too, because miko loves to go by her instincts, but she’s been forced to associate such traits of her as bad

miko also sees five as a source of validation, someone who believes in her, more so than her own mother. she hugs him when he expresses confidence in their ability to do well together on their mission, outright saying “you believe in me,” and this is very important because five continues to display this belief in miko. he straight up lies to their boss in order to protect miko and to give them a chance to solve their problem. he doesn’t let miko shoulder the blame for landing them into their situation, and believes in both of their abilities to get themselves out of their mess

“look, you didn’t drag me into this. we got into it together. so let’s just get out of it. new deal baby seal?” miko proceeds to look to five for a plan, of which five tells her HEY, things you said earlier? are correct. and they proceed to make a plan TOGETHER and miko finds their solution, which she realizes involves her and a gauntlet—but her gauntlet is broken—and before she can even finish five HANDS her his own gauntlet. he trusts her! without question! “you’re not a fail fish, miko. you can focus when it counts. so make it count.” he gives her his CONFIDENCE in her and a WAY to prove to herself that she can focus! even if she can’t focus all the time! even if the kind of focus in question here is a little different from the kind of focus miko’s mom wanted her to have!

and i just think that’s a very good message to send to people with adhd, to kids with adhd. because miko succeeded, with five’s help, with five’s trust and belief in her, and she did it without having to change who she was! and that’s what adhd folks should have, you know. people who believe in us, people in our lives who know that we ARE good enough, and we do things in our own special way. also, towards the end of the episode, miko’s mother praises miko for working hard at her new job, and tells her she’s proud of her. she even approves of miko secretly playing video games at night, and tells her she’s earned it. it just kind of comes full circle at the end, and i think it’s really nice

anyway, please watch glitch techs. i could not recommend this show enough