#he might be in that coach too
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Well the weird map of eons which makes no sense to me to this day does say something about that.
🥺.....I would like to see you in some studded leather though.
#and I could try and say I can resist you but we both know that is utter horse shit#you would want to have a baby on Christmas#funny what an adventure to find some willow toys will turn up#I zoom in on the land and all the prices come up#reads some garbage entry that is landlocked: oh enter this very becoming Fourier#I would.... you're a bad bitch for real and that makes my dick hard#I mean ... you sat there open to me...begging me practically...you wanted to be trained#for what is manipulating others when only He can manipulate you#yes baby English was a Spiritual experience#it would be nice to hear you as chatterly as a gay club#you probably said more to me in that one night than you had in our entire lives#sis did you find me a good conversationalist all drunk and filters off#I know a one of a kind sharp sense of humor#enough to make you not help yourself but to laugh sometimes#even if it aroused suspicions you're reading my mind#no you told me straight up you were reading my mind when I asked#I want to say I looked deep into your soul to verify your purity#casually....real Real cool...so...do you enjoy pleasure?#you could have come over and met Luna in her last go around#when I walked by her cage she barked and I recognized it immediately#me: my bad girl I didn't realize you had reincarnated#see this is the issue with Ol Johnny#Grandpa dropped the Catholic Church because his father married a 40 oz high class woman#this one talks about being the favorite of two nuns and I am like....bet they didn't double team you though sie#he had the marks huh.....well I have no marks only the stars imprinted upon my flesh form#he is looking like Arthur in a video game more than The Arhur#but maybe Arthur is his final form and I am catching one of his other ones#he might be in that coach too#he always should have been younger than me....old fool playing at stealing food off my plate#I love Arthur forever though the only good man I had in my life even if only for a little while
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SLIGHT TGR SPOILERS
reading the golden raven really cemented how badly I want to see jean become a coach. he's just so perfect for it it's killing me. he's got amazing understanding of other players' techniques and is able to quickly figure what they're doing wrong and how to fix it. we see it pretty much day one in tsc when he meets cat and laila, and then again in his crusade to get ananya using a heavy. he is super quick to identify derricks movement pattern in scrimmages and calls him out on it.
AND THEN THERES TANNER. who badgered him into being taught raven drills and jeremy sees the effort it takes jean to hold back for the sake of the freshmen ough agh it kills me. I think it would just be so great for him in terms of breaking the cycle of violence his life has been. we see glimpses of his mentality shift where he imagines having to break his racquet on cat's back for making a mistake and the thought repulses him. like, jean learning to have patience and care for others and thus patience and care for himself is actually so important to me. because yeah, he DIDNT deserve that, and he has the skills and the knowledge to make sure that other players won't experience what he did!!
a lot of tgr is about jean learning how to enjoy exy, perhaps for the first time, actually, and I really think a natural conclusion in his future would be to become a coach!
#tgr spoilers#the golden raven spoilers#i can't be bothered to find actual quotes right now but trustttt he would be so healed and fulfilled#jean moreau#tgr#the golden raven#he would be so hilarious as a coach too#think of the sass. the snark. ICONIC#the kids would love him#might add more to this later#coach!jean lives in my head rent free
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aaahh i'm pretty positive this page wasn't animated but it makes me so happyyyy. sometimes i think about how yamaguchi is the only first year who didn't end up going to the december training camps, and how, even though we know he has occasional confidence issues, we never see him getting down about being the only one still at karasuno for the week. instead (just like when he took the initiative to learn jump floats in the first place so that he could have chance to be on the court despite being the only first year who isn't a starter), he just buckles down in determination and continues on with his routine of serve practice with shimada. he's seen how hard everyone is working, and how their skill is above his and he only sees it as inspiration!!
and aah i LOVE how we not only get to see him say "one more?" here (which, this might just be me, but is a line i associate heavily with hinata and hinata's insane drive/determination) but the addition of shimada saying "when you say 'just one more,' you never mean just one!" it's a pattern!!! yamaguchi has had this drive and determination the whole time!!
#i mean in fairness hes probably a bit frustrated too but he channels it into hard work and i just love him aah#hq!!#yamaguchi#shimada#hq#2021 reread#these may or may not be things im also trying to explore in my next fic too lol#ive been really wanting to do a ball boy centered something from tsukishima and yamaguchis pov for a loooong time#and having just reread it and now that im feeling okay it might be tie to start#coach what should i eat#hq meta#x
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It was clearly a joke tho. He said in ORF that he is very happy as a spectator, he has moved on. Actually love how relaxed he is about Krafti getting closer to his record too
Lol yeah ur likely right. I didn't hear that but maybe I should have known. He did seem way too happy being retired to come back I guess.🥲
Even before he retired he said he doesn't care much about his record and that probably someone will beat it. So I think he has always been unbothered like that.
#i would have just liked to hold on to that hope#because that made me way too happy like nothing else today...#i rather would like to believe it wasn't just a joke#or if only he could become a coach#i think he'd be great at it he seems to be so good at explaining stuff what i've seen on tv#but it's his life and obviously if that's not what makes him happy - he shouldn't do it#i'm glad he's happy now but i try to care for his businesses and investments what he does now but i can't#i want to keep supporting him in life but i can't help but keep hoping that he might still change his mind one day✌️#or working for orf fulltime as a ski jumping analyst would also be great ig#i just miss him ... and he keeps feeding my delulu that one day he might - comeback 😅
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#toronto maple leafs#HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET#like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because#my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul#you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that#i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of#Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i#have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m#gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the#coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl#anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren'#bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof#& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th#childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so.#ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get#to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse#but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu#the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea#& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much &#if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy#boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is#solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet#OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc#u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty#leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin#one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight#seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem#the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall#from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding#i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc
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ukai keishin, the man you are <3
#┊glimpse into the crystal ball ೃ༄#accidentally made myself so soft for him yesterday#i could go on a rant about what precious person he is#how much he cares for that team he just met#that the team knows and feels comfortable enough to talk to him outside of practice too#and how he mobilised the neighbourhood association/ old karasuno team to support them too#despite saying he doesn’t want to coach in the first place#ugh he’s so <333#in the same vein#takeda sensei!!#who got everything started in the first place#who believed in that team despite not having much connection to volleyball#who got the coach on board and re established the nekoma karasuno connection#i could go on and on about these two#but i might make myself cry if i do#haikyuu#ukai keishin#takeda ittetsu
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Honestly, now that I'm thinking about it- I think the only reason Coach Ben has a chance at surviving is Misty. Been downplayed as of recently but she did and I think still does have a massive crush on him. Granted that won't stop him from being eaten if he dies of other causes but I do think Misty wouldn't let the rest of the girls hurt him and is feral enough to fight to protect her crush even if hes too old and too gay for her.
Which i think gives him like..a five percent chance of living rather than 3. So, not great odds, but they are better.
#he'd want us too#no he really fucking wouldnt but were going to anyway misty now shut up#yellowjackets#coach ben#misty quigley#that said she might also become feral enough to kill and eat him herself so#heh#im now imagining misty trying to co opt the romanticism of jackie and shaunas cannibalism with her crush on ben
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What Jack Ginnivan's coaches would say about Jack Ginnivan:
Bucks - Craig's son
Robert Harvey - bright young talent. Spark up forward. Kid just loves his footy
Craig McRae - cheeky Jack. Funny. Great kid. Could be on drugs though so be wary.
Sam Mitchell - cheeky Jack and the rascal pack
#aflm#Jack Ginnivan#no but bucks would barely have known Ginni#bucks wasn't present for 2021 let's be real he had a new relationship#but the players would all yell CRAIGYYYYY when Ginni first started#I'm pretty sure Ginni's dad had a big reputation back in Castlemaine idk#i want to do Dale Thomas but it's hard because i might forget some of the coaches????#like it goes Mick then bucks and then Mick again but was it Bolton? or was there a million coaches between Mick and Bolton#like caretaker coaches#too difficult
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.
maybe i should make another blog
i have my nsft blog, but then now i don't have anywhere to complain about the people on my nsft blog cs i don't wanna upset no one, so i come back here and complain in the tags, but that's also not a super great thing to do
...
:/
anyway
#ughhh#coaching a different cis guy this time through the fact that i don't want you to 'accidentally' fuck me#is it like this irl too? pfft this is the worst#well. no it's not really#i had to tell him twice but at least he apologised#shrug#i'd be a lot more upset but like it's only messages and he used generally the right words n stuff y'know#altho i do maintain that all that 'boy xxxx' stuff is.#i can see how it might be helpful? but to me it just sounds silly#like i know i'm a guy i know my anatomy you don't have to call it that sweets#people calling it that actually makes me more :/ cs i go all oh yeah this is not the usual anatomy a guy would have etc etc#anyway sorry#shutting up now
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I think in the future mob gets a job that probably is some kind of public servant just because he's so dedicated to helping people just like as a person. But I think w/ his emotional intelligence he would be really good doing something like social work and helping out kids in bad situations??? I feel like he might struggle with paper work aspects of that kind of thing tho but I think its something he would really care about ...
#idk i think mob learns to value his own needs enough that u know he might just get a job that works for him and just lives his life but i#also think he would want to choose something he cares about too u know?? and i think after having reigen as a mentor he probably wouldnt be#very inclined to just get an office job considering how reigen lived his left just to avoid that basically but obviously mob is not reige#i just dont really think given the things we know mob to be interested in and passionate about and good at that he would even just be ABLE#to work in an office job i think that would be soul crushing for him in a lot of ways#i think he would need something with a bit more engagment and movement to it#i could even see him as a coach or something too#maybe a vet tech ? idk. im thinking abt him#all this talk abt future mob bc of him in the reigen dream omake has got me thinking
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if i tell myself enough times, that writing is often meant to slowly turn a brain to mush to get words out, it will become easier the next time i open my wips...cause that's how it works, right?
#coping so hard rn i might lose my mind#i'm still at the start of dragon neil wip cause i just keep staring and seeing scenes way down the line in my mind#which is super unhelpful as i don't write them down#save me coach hernandez you actually are here to move the plot along ;-;#dragon neil wip#i got too many ideas and no one to ramble to about them (my friend went to bed and he has no clue about the books)
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I have been playing beastieball and first of all very good game second of all smth smth Olivia Broussard
#rat rambles#oni posting#the second I heard the basic concept I knew I had to make my player character olivia#Ive also been ofc doing an oni naming theme but thats a given#important context in my hcs olivia was a pretty sportsy teenager#but yeah Im also enjoying the endless sense of dread I get anytime I make story progress in this game#I need that guy dead NOW#also I forget their name but yeah rpedictably the nonbinary scientist is my favorite npc currently#but yeah I feel like Im at a weird point game progression wise where Im strong enough to take every fight I know of but I don't know how to#access most of the side content I want to do first so Ive mostly just been further training#dont get me wrong I was still underleveled for the last star coach match I did but they were like level 50 so y'know#I won btw because Im a hashtag gamer (I got my ass kicked the first time but the second time I barely scraped by)#ok I say barely but Im pretty sure I only lost one round most of my party was just on deaths door the whole time#I recently decided to rework my team since I wasn't having a lot of fun with my old one#I might end up mixing and matching my old and new teams a bit eventually but I rly like my current team#Im definitely still learning how to use it well tho and I can definitely feel that offensively it could be better#well actually more like it needs better defense to be more offensive#all my guys have good bulk in at least one damage type but only two are all around capable of taking hits#the other three are incredibly fragile in different stats and as such a lot of my gameplay at higher levels involved baiting and switching#which has been working out well enough so far but it definitely means my battles run slower than Id like#in particular because I only have one beastie capable of healing itself so its easy to back myself into a corner if I take too long#I also definitely need to look into redoing the stats for my dragonfly beastie as while shes fairly bulky she rly needs a bit more bulk#I also super need to look into getting some friendship skills for her since she just doesn't have the tools she needs rn to truly flourish#I believe in her tho she was the main inspiration for my current team and how I wanted it to play#which unfortunately we aren't quite able to do yet due to the fragility of everyone#again they Are quite bulky in certain areas but extremely fragile in others#the exception is my boy joshua who can tank most hits but is noy particularly helpful outside of that rn#which I also want to remedy#now the main question for me rn is if I considered switching out one of my more offensive units for someone with more utility#because a certain nikola may be a needed pivot currently but he was also supposed to be far more offensively useful than he can be atm
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national teams/fifa should pay for every injured player their stupid and unnecessary “friendly” games produce. Your worthless games are making My players more injury prone and are costing us potential titles and in exchange We still have to lend them to you to “assess” their injuries?????
#fifa needs to go fuck itself until it implodes#fucking hate it when national teams see an injured player and STILL MAKES the club hand him during a break#only so their doctors can “legally” clear them for their games#even though it might result in a worsened injury#IT HAPPENS ALL THE FUCKING TIME#this is specially about that fucking polish coach that made lewandowski play in that one worthless#game a couple of years ago where he injured his shoulder. We lost the ucl bc of that#and now palhinha#right before a series of important games. Yeah fuck the Portuguese nt too
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Unfair when you get footy grids like "coached by Craig McRae" and the three vertical options may as well be "can't be Italian", "no curly haired freaks" and "preferably someone big and fast"
#did Craig write the footy grid????#sigh#okay i made up the vertical options but that's basically what it was saying#Quick harry Demattia get out while you can#also the other horizontal should've been coached by Mick Malthouse so i can put Faz in#let me make the footy grids please#All the options would just be Italian#nine Italians in the grid#Faz in the centre surrounded by his eight children#pesto Adam Trent orazio (obviously)#Rachele#soligo can he go#fatt matt Carroll#or fat mat Carroll#one more think Laura you can do this#there's a suns player but i want someone else#not riccardi though#Coniglio????? no he's a bit too good#I've already got pesto and Adam so i can't pick any more superstars#dumb fatties only#no offence Rachele#what about that bald Daisy Thomas dude#alex junior#AJ cincotta#also don't correct me that fat mat isn't Italian shhhhh he's fat and that's also allowed#also don't correct me that he isn't fat either#also no anon messages telling me to stop fat shaming players#Faz is proud to have eight children sporting his Beyonce bum#well some of them might not but shhhh
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despicable
updates as of 22 oct
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Travis Dermott knew that he would draw attention with his actions in the Coyotes’ home opener against the Anaheim Ducks at Mullett Arena on Saturday. The Arizona defenseman just hoped that the spotlight might shine on the issue that he was addressing, not on him.
“You don’t really want to go against rules that are put in place by your employer, but there’s some people who took some positive things from it,” Dermott said. “That’s kind of what I’m looking to impact.
“You want to have everyone feel included and that’s something that I have felt passionate about for a long time in my career. It’s not like I just just jumped on this train. It’s something that I’ve felt has been lacking in the hockey community for a while. I feel like we need supporters of a movement like this; to have everyone feel included and really to beat home the idea that hockey is for everyone.”
“I won’t lie,” said Dermott, who is playing on a one-year, two-way contract. “From the outside, it’s easy to see that I’m putting my career on the line for something. I definitely went through some emotional ups and downs that night, not regretting anything by any means, but I’d love to have maybe done a couple of steps a little different by making sure that everyone was aware of what was going on before I did it.
“I don’t want to put my teammates or my coaches or my GMs or the equipment managers in any kind of bad light when it’s their job to kind of look out for something like this happening. It was definitely something that I did just by myself and was prepared to kind of deal with whatever repercussions the league decides to push towards that. I’m not going to back off and say that this battle is won, but we’re going to find better ways to do it.”
As Dermott noted, LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue that he has supported for a long time. Without getting into specifics, Dermott said the issue is personal for him because it impacts people close to him.
“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed tears about this on multiple occasions,” he said. “So yeah, it’s something I’m definitely very passionate about.
“I’ve met a lot of people that from the outside, it looks like they have everything going right in their life and they have a smile on their face every time they talk to you. But sometimes when we get closer to people and get comfortable enough for them to open up to you, you can see that there’s some pretty dark stuff happening to some good people. It doesn’t take too many times encountering something like that for it to really change someone.
“I’ve been blessed to have some of those opportunities put in front of me to really change my view of what being a good person means; what being a good father and a good example and role model means going forward. You really see how people are hurting and it’s because of a system that maybe no one’s intentionally trying to be malicious about, but until you’ve really had that first-person experience seeing people hurting from it right in front of you, it’s tough to kind of take steps.”
It would be a surprise if the league handed down any sort of punishment. The optics alone would add to the public relations damage that the original ban created. Even so, Dermott reiterated his desire to bring the entire franchise into the fold before he takes similar actions in the future, but he also made it clear that he will not be silenced on the topic.
“It’s not like I’m shutting up and going away,” he said. “I know more questions are going to be coming. We’re just going to be as prepared as we can be to just spread love. That’s the thing. It’s gay pride that we’re talking about, but it could be men’s health. It could be any war. It’s just wanting world peace. Everyone’s got to love each other a little bit more.
“Like my parents said growing up, ‘How awesome would it be to be the guy that people look up to?’ That’s what really hit home when I was a kid, especially from my mom. You want to grow up and be that guy. You want to be the guy that’s having the impact on kids like NHL players had on you. If they had been racist or bigoted, that’s going to have an effect on you.
“With how many eyes are on us, especially with the young kids coming up in the new generation, you want to put as much positive love into their brain as you can. You want them to see that it’s not just being taught or coming from maybe their parents at home. They need to see it in the public eye for it to really make an effect.”
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mini skirt | theodore nott
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pairing: theodore nott x reader
wc: 3.5k
genre: smut (minors DNI), fluff, best friends to lovers, meddling blaise zabini just coz, they’re in love 🤢🤢, self indulgent im so sorry for the person i am
smut tags: dry humping, coming untouched, (very little) oral sex, come eating, unprotected sex (don’t do this!!), fingering, size kink, breeding kink, bulge kink, cream pie, so much dirty talk oml, big dick theo 😞, reader being shorter than theo, reader wearing a mini skirt, lots of cussing
summary: blaise zabini’s idea of how to play matchmaker might be different from the traditional way of doing it but at least you ended up getting dicked down, so you guess his method works too.
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Blaise Zabini's idea of playing match maker is whispering to you —in a not so quiet way, that he'd heard 'Nott's got a big dick' and though you swatted him away. Face disgruntled, mumbling about how you did not want to know about your best friend's private parts. You're terrible enough of a person for your eyes to drop to his crotch when he sat down on the couch opposing yours.
There's a call of your name, once, twice. Before Theodore leaned forward, his voice loud enough for your eyes to tear itself from his thighs to his eyes. You gulped, hoping —hoping that he thought you'd blanked out and just happened to be staring at a very unfortunate spot. "Hmm?"
Theodore's held onto your gaze, lazying back onto his coach. "You okay? I asked if you wanted to head back up but you didn't answer."
"Head back up?" You repeated. "Head where?"
He eyes you suspiciously. "To your dorm?" Theodore gets up from his seat and leans down to crouch beneath you, staring up at you. "Or mine?"
You blink. Mind running in all kind of ideas —save for the ones you knew he meant when he asked you this question. You shift slightly in your side, scanning the Slytherin's common room as the party rage on; it's nothing too big, a get together between all seventh year supplied with alcohol —that Draco definitely did not buy just to impress the golden boy, not at all.
"I'm pretty sure I saw Draco take Harry up to your dorm, and neither of them look like they're exhibitionists." You say off handedly, looking down at him. "Besides, I'm actually enjoying myself here."
And to prove yourself, you get up from your seat; pulling your mini skirt low enough to cover your ass. Theodore, despite having every chance to peer underneath it, remains respectful as he plays with the hem of your skirt. "You are?"
"You aren't?" You ask back, trying not to squirm from the way his finger brushes against your thigh. Salazar this was your best friend for shit's sake, knowing that he could hypothetically have a big dick should not turn you on as much as it was.
Theodore shakes his head, slowly, almost as if he was in a haze as he quietly tells you. "Not really."
"Let's head up then," you tell him, and though both of your voices are low —barely even audible considering how loud Mattheo decided to play his music. Theodore was able to understand you perfectly, picking himself up as he used your waist as his guide. "Come on."
His pinkie finger catches onto yours as he gets onto his feet, him towering over you the slightest bit. And though, Theodore and you leaving a party early to turn in for the night was a sight your friends were used to by now —knowing that nothing ever did came out of leaving the two of you alone to your own devices. Something about how Theodore was looking at you makes them think that that might just change tonight.
But, they regress and bid the two of you goodnight with a few sporting playful frowns on how you never stay with them until the party actually ends.
You only smile, leading Theodore up the stairs to your dorm like every other night. Once in the comfort of your room, you sit yourself down on your bed, patting the spot for besides you for Theodore to take. He did as told, melting into your touch as you brush his hair back. "How much did you drink?"
His eyes are shut, face leaning into the palm of your hand as his own grips onto your skirt, tugging you closer to him. "Just those two shots we took when we first went down."
You hum, letting him pull you to him. "Did you smoke?" Theodore shakes his head slightly, before opening his eyes back up at you. You laugh lightly. "Then what's up with you tonight? I'm always the one dragging us back."
"Just tired, I guess." He murmurs.
"You guess?" You ask him, standing up —letting his hands fall where it'd been trailing up your skirt back to his lap, lingering slightly on what sits above it. "When are you ever not tired?"
Theodore laughs at your words, eyes crinkling as he did so. "When I watch you play quidditch," he says, pushing himself up to press his back against the head of your bed. Watching as you shuffle towards your wardrobe, picking out a pair of sweats along with two shirts he'd left at your room. "Or when you're drunk out of your mind and I'd to have to play pretend as your boyfriend and take care of you."
You snort at his words, picking out a pair of shorts for yourself. "You don't have to pretend to be my boyfriend to take care of me."
"Mhmm," he hums from his spot, lounging lazily as you walk up to his side, the change of clothes in hand. "But it's more affective that way." His hand finds its way to your hips, pulling you closer to him. "And I like it. I like pretending to be yours."
There's a split second where his eyes falters, looking at you almost nervously as he waits for you to respond. "You do?"
"Mhmm," he hums, pushing himself up to sit straight. "More than anything."
It's nauseating to see him look at you —eyes lacking their usual stoic and disinterest to instead be replaced by lust and adoration.
Without thinking twice, you leaned down meeting his lips halfway as your eyes flutters shut. And though seated, Theodore was still tall enough to kiss you back with ease. Letting you melt into the feeling of his soft lips moving slowly and desperately against yours.
"Fuck," Theodore mutters breathlessly, he pushes against your hand; dropping your (mostly his) clothes to the floor. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."
"What?" You giggle, letting him pull you onto his lap. "Kiss me?"
"To kiss you again," He murmurs, attaching his lips back onto yours; a soft whimper slipping out of his lips when his clothed cock brushes against your core through his swift movements.
Fuck, Blaise was not lying.
In between your legs, underneath beige slacks, Theo's giant cock ruts up to you. You gasp into his mouth. "Ah—" you try to catch your breath. "—fuck, Theo. You've been wanting to kiss me since we were thirteen?"
"Mhmm," he hums, long slender hands gripping onto your waist before he slides one underneath your shirt and lays it flat against your tummy. His free hand, resting on your thigh, guiding you down onto him. "You're the only girl I ever want to kiss."
It's silly, you know it is —especially when his cock was pressing into your cunt, only separated by a thin layer of clothing— and yet you can't help but smile up at him, almost giggling when you ask him. " 's that why you asked me to be your first kiss?"
"Mhmm." He's smiling when he kisses you. "Can you blame me?" His tongue licks at your top lips, quick and gentle, trying to gauge on what you tasted like. "Prettiest girl at Hogswart and she was willing to be my first kiss."
His hand moves grips onto your waist, his touch blazing hot. "... Flatterer," you say, a playful pout prominent on your lips.
He chuckles, pressing his lips back onto yours, hand moving from your thigh to tug at your shirt. When you nod, Theodore pulls away just enough for him to take your shirt off and toss it Salazar knows where.
He doesn't even try to hide his staring, canting his hips upwards as he held you down. "Can you feel that?" He asks breathlessly, almost whining as he humps against you. "Can you feel how hard you make me?"
You could only moan, nodding dumbly as you rolled your hips. "Fuck—" he says against your lips, "—how'd you get even prettier, baby?"
And despite how hot —how nauseating it is to feel his boner pressing onto your wet cunt, you can't help but giggle at his words, at how turned on he got just at the sight of your tits. "It's just boobs."
"It's your boobs." He hand goes up behind you, making quick work at the clasps before kissing your chest, licking at your nipples; his hips not halting in its movement. "So so pretty."
His hand slips down, going underneath your skirt to knees at you thigh. "Shirt—" you roll onto him, breathless each time you feel just how hard he was. "—shirt, Theo."
Though incoherent, Theodore still understood you enough to pull his shirt off of himself before attaching his lips back onto you. His tongue glides against yours, swallowing your moans up when he bucks particularly hard.
It’s humiliating how the simple act of humping, combined with Theo’s hand playing with your tits, pinching and rolling your nipple between his long fingers with his tongue exploring your mouth has you writhing on top of him.
"Theo, ah—" you whine, hands gripping onto his shoulders to steady yourself, a familiar warmth building in your stomach. "— wait, fuck!"
Theodore's hips coming to a halt, as he watch you cum on top of him —in awe, without him even having touched you. "Did you just… ?"
You whine, pressing your face against his bare shoulder to hide just how embarrass you were. Theodore pulls you back, looking at you with what you could only assume was love. "Did you just come, baby?"
You nod bashfully, hands going to cover your face just for him to pin both of them down. "So cute, so so pretty." He kisses you roughly, rutting up to you. "Gonna fuck you nice and full, how’s that sound?"
Theodore only frowns when you nod, always having been the talkative one in your relationship. “Words, baby. That sound good to you?”
“Ah!” Your panties stick to your cunt uncomfortably, feeling all too messy when he grinds his cock onto you. “Good,” you whine, “ ‘s good.”
Theodore smiles, pressing a quick kiss onto your lips as a reward. His hand trails down to your thighs, flipping your skirt up before groaning at the sight of his beige slacks soiled by your slick and cum. "Look at the mess you made, didn’t even have to touch you.”
Sliding your panties to the side, Theodore runs two fingers down your slit. "Even your cunt's pretty," he murmurs, bringing his finger up to his mouth to licks at your juices. "You taste even better."
You're pouting as you watch him play with your pussy, fingers pressed onto your clit, going back in for another taste before you finally move down his crotch, just enough for you to palm at his cock.
"Fuck—" he whimpers, hips bucking onto your hand.
Feeling proud you pulled such a reaction out of him, you reach for his belt, lifting yourself up off of him as he helps rid himself of his slacks. Pulling back his boxers, you will yourself not to drool over the sight of his long and thick cock, milky from the precum leaking from its tip.
Your hand moves on its own, wrapping around the base of his hard cock only to find that your hand was too small to wrap all the way around him. "Why didn't you tell me your dick was huge?."
"You want me to —fuck—" Theodore whines, cock twitching in your hand as it begged for you to move. "You want me to tell my best friend about the size of my cock?"
"Yeah?" You move your hands up, thumb running along his tip. "Biggest dick I've ever seen."
"You never told me you had —fuck, baby— never told me you had a perfect cunt either." Theodore moans, the sight in front of him feels like it came straight out of a porno. His best friend and her small hands playing with his cock, tits out with only her tiny skirt stopping him from fucking her into the mattress.
You giggle softly before leaning down to take him inside your mouth. "Fuck!" Theodore choked out, hips roughly thrusting into your mouth. He's too big for you to fit in entirely in your throat and he knows it. And he's too close to cumming in your mouth to keep you were you are.
His hand pulling your head up and away from his cock swiftly. His eyes are shut, head leaning back against your headboard as he breathes heavily.
Your eyes are teary when he opens his eyes back up, and he wills himself not to think about how it's the result of him fucking your face. Theodore brings you up to sit between his legs, kissing you desperately, groaning when he tastes himself on your lips.
Your hand goes back to grab at his length and he whines, pressing his face into your neck and squirms underneath your touch. "Wait, fuck—" his hand goes to stop you, brain going dead as you pumped his cock. "—fuck, fuck wait."
Theodore moves away from your touch, pressing your hand down onto your mattress as he heaves heavily. "Shit— Next time," he whines, "we can do all that next time," he murmurs against your neck, pulling his head away to look at you, he adds: "but I need to fuck you. Please, just let me fuck you. I'll do anything to feel your cunt and fill you up nice and full, please baby."
And when he pleads for you so nicely, who were you to deny him anything? He kisses you again, laying you down on your back, whispering soft thank you’s as he presses open mouth kisses down your body. Slender hands roaming around as he tries to map you out. It's only when Theodore flips your skirt up, ripping away your panties to give himself a full view of your throbbing pussy did you realize what he's about to do.
"Hey, I liked those!"
"I'll buy you more, baby." You're dripping in front of him and he think he might be losing his mind. "Need to eat you out first."
"Thought you wanted to fuck me," you whine, gasping softly when he slides his fingers over your pussy, "why can you play with —fuck."
You pout at him, not expecting him to slide his finger inside you while you talked. "Why can you— ah! —play with me when I can't play with you."
"Not playing baby, just stretching you out," he tells you with a soft smile, leaning over to kiss your pout away. "Not gonna fit unless we stretch you out."
" 's fine," you whimper, feeling him slip another finger in, fucking into you slowly. "it'll fit just fine."
"You sure?" He picks up his pace, long fingers reaching places your own never could. "Don't wanna hurt you."
" 's fine," you moan when he slips a third finger into your cunt, "don't care if it hurts, just wanna feel you."
Theodore pulls out, bringing his fingers to his lips to taste you once more. Moving back up, Theodore grabs at a pillow, placing it beneath your lower back to elevate your cunt. Slowly, he guides his dick into you, gasping at the feeling of his thick head stretching you open.
"Fuck—" Theodore pushes in deeper, pausing when he feels you clenching impossibly tight around him "—your cunt's sucking me in so good."
The burn is delicious, his cock tearing you open from within, stretching you out to take him into you. "So full," you whine, pressing your head into your sheets as he slides in even deeper into you. " 's too much."
"I know, baby," he murmurs, rubbing slow circles onto your thighs, "just a little more, I know you can take it."
You whine pathetically, feeling him fuck the last few inches snuggly into you. "Ah!" He hasn't even moved and you're already breathless, feeling him in your stomach. “Fuck me, Theo. Fuck me nice and full.”
“You want me to fuck your small cunt nice and full?” Theodore pulls out entirely, leaving just his tip in your cunt before roughly thrusting back in, hands on your hips as he pounds into you. "I’ll fuck it nice and full for you, maybe even put a baby in you."
And when your pussy grips his cock at his words, Theodore drives into you even harder. “Put a baby in me, please.”
“Yeah? You want that?” He watches as your tits bounce with each harsh thrust. “You want to carry my baby? Have your pretty tits grow bigger? You want that?”
“Yes,” you cry out, eyes screwed shut, the pain of his cock splitting you open mixing with pleasure. “Yes, ah— want it.”
“Fuck—” Having just about enough, Theodore pushes your mini skirt up your stomach giving him a full view of how well he's fucking his thick cock into you. The mound of your pussy bulging as it makes room for his dick to spear into your cunt.
"See that baby? See how good your cunt’s at taking my cock?" He asks, his hand grabbing yours to press down below your navel. "See how good I'm fucking you?"
You can only moan, crying out his name when he presses your hand down onto the bulge in your stomach, pushing his own dick out of your pussy. "Feel how deep my cock is inside of you?"
“Gonna be so easy for me to breed you,” he murmurs, wrapping your legs around his waist to fuck himself even deeper into you. “Want me to breed you, baby? Hmm?”
You nod desperately, too cock drunk to speak. Jolting when Theodore presses a harsh finger to your clit, circling it as he fucked deeper into you. "Theo, I'm gonna—"
"I know baby," he says, his cock getting impossibly harder inside of you. He presses another finger onto your clit, rubbing tight circles as you squirm underneath him. "Fuck— you're pussy's so good. Need you to come on my cock."
Theodore leans down to kiss you, pushing his length even deeper into you. You moan into his mouth, fucking you through your orgasm, your legs trembling as you try to squeeze him in.
Theodore fucks your cum back into you harder and faster, chasing his own high. One quick glance at his cock coated with your cum, followed by the bulge in your tummy was sends has him rutting into your tight cunt, spilling his warm seed inside you.
Theodore thrusts a few more time just to savor the sight of you spread on his cock before finally pulling out of you. "Fuck Theo," you whined, his cum leaking out of you, making a mess all over your bedsheet. "Were you just never going to tell me your dick is huge?"
Theodore only smiles bashfully, pressing a kiss onto your forehead. "We're still on this?"
"You expect me to not be on this?" You say with a slight pout, Theodore only half paying attention to you as he grabbed a random shirt from the floor to wipe at you thighs. "It's almost like you don't even think of me as you best friend."
"Pretty sure best friends don't go around telling each other about how big their dick is, baby," he replies.
"Blaise can know about your dick size but I can't?" You murmur. "Talk about double standards."
Theodore pauses his movements, hand hovering over your spent pussy. "That fucker."
"Hmm?" You're curious now, confused as to why he was suddenly cursing out your friend. Never having been one to use curse words unless —well, unless he's fucking you.
"He told me that you liked guys who begged," he says with a slight front, going back to cleaning you up nonetheless.
"Is that why you begged to fuck me?"
"No, that was all me," he answers truthfully, ears tinging red in embarrassment,"just wanted to fuck you."
"And they say romance is dead," you say playfully before your eye zeroes into what's in Theodore's hand. "What about the whole breeding thing? And ‘s that my shirt?"
Theodore, freezes with his hands between your thighs, feeling you stare him down as he did so. Slowly, he unravels the shirt he'd use to wipe you clean only to realize that yes, that is your shirt.
"You ripped up my panties, messed up my skirt, tried to put a baby in me, and used my shirt to wipe up your cum," you say, frowning, "I'm never having sex with you again."
Theodore's quick to apologize, peppering your face with kisses, mumbling sorry over and over again. "I'll sneak you out of Oxford street, take my black card with you, how's that sound?"
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— from bee: this is my first time writing smut be nice to me 😡
#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott x you#theodore nott scenarios#theodore nott fluff#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott smut#theodore nott imagines#theodore nott fanfiction#theodore nott fanfic#theo nott smut#🧳: my writing#Spotify
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