#he may have eldest daughters syndrome but he is not in fact the eldest or a daughter

[igotthisaccountunderduress]

Or do you perhaps know who Barbara Gordon is

i can’t tell if dick grayson or jason todd are a more accurate depiction of the female experience and it’s driving me mad

[siampie]

Finding You||Chapter 2

Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3 k

Warnings/tags: pinning, childhood trauma, eldest daughter syndrome, mention of emotional abuse.

A/N: Enjoy this chapter, you guys. I don’t have much to say about this chapter. Apart from the fact that there’s some set up for Reader’s own story.  

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Tag list: @marytheweefrenchie, @sunflowersandsapphires, @schneeflocky, @danzer8705, @shouldbestudying41,

@beezusvreeland

Dividers by @cafekitsune

I have to talk to you, call me.

That was all what your sister;Mary;had texted you. She had sent it last night while you were sleeping. You couldn’t call her that morning. Not being in the same time zone made communication between you difficult but not impossible. It had also triggered your anxiety. What did she want to talk about? Maybe it was nothing too important. You were trying to convince yourself. A feeble attempt to calm your nerves.

Still, you were anxious. You usually called one another on the week-ends. And you never asked to call. It was never a thing. That she went out of her way to ask you to call was strange and worrisome. So being in a different time zone than your sister, you waited for your lunch break to call her.

“So, how’s life in Dublin?” You sister asked you once she picked up the call. You stood outside of the building. Your sister was finishing feeding her son his breakfast as you were calling her.

“Good.” You answered quickly. “How’s the little one?” You knew what she was doing, she was stalling. Whatever she had to say must be really bad if she felt the need to stall. So, you played into it. But the fact that she was stalling only spiked your anxiety levels.

“He’s growing up.” She said, you could hear the smile in her voice. Your sister had always wanted to be a mother and after years of trying with her partner, she became one to a healthy little boy. You were happy for her. “But it always seems like he’s trying to get himself killed.”

You snorted. “It seems like he’s failing so far.” You heard the clatter of utensils on the line. “Why did you want me to call?”

“Oh, boy!” You sister let out a long breath. “It’s about mom.”

“What about her?” You let out a shaky breath.

“Dave may have told her where you live. Giving her your address and everything.” Mary told you.

Dave was your brother. You did not have a good relationship with him. You didn’t hate him but he had failed to show up anytime you asked for his help. While you showed up each and every single time. And he sometimes had the audacity to blame you for being ungrateful for all that he was doing for you. You could not be grateful for something he had never done or that he done once in a blue moon. Whereas he failed to see all the times you had helped him.

He had not been in favor of your moving away. Judging that the money that your father had left you, should be shared amongst you. Because that was what your father would have wanted; for you to share the money equally. But you had refused. You were going to but the fact he suggested the idea. No, not suggested. Demanded that you do it, had made you decide otherwise. You chose to enjoy the money your father had left for you. Mary and Matthew had found it natural that your father would leave that money to you. You had earned it for all the sacrifices you had made for them.

After all, your sacrifices had allowed them to move out, to live their lives. It had allowed them to fall in love and build their own home and family. While you remained behind, taking care of your father, and maybe wasting your life away. They knew what you had done for them. And all they wanted was for you to finally be happy. This money was your reward. And you could do with it as you pleased.

You felt your anger flared up in your veins. You took a deep breath before you spoke. Trying to leave the anger out of your tone. Your sister was not the one who betrayed your trust. She was only the messenger. And you didn’t want to yell at her. Not at your sister.

“What the hell did he do that for?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed. “All he said was that mom asked and he saw no reason not to tell her.”

“Look, I get why all of you want a relationship with her. I do. But I told you, I don’t want to have a relationship with the woman.” You reminded her.

“I know that.” Mary reassured you. “And Matt knows that. And so does Dave. And honestly, I don’t know why he did that. But you’re in Ireland. She’s not gonna show up on your doorstep. You really think she’s gonna waste money on you?”

“No, I don’t think she will.” You replied, leaning on the wall behind you. “Still, I don’t want her to know where I am. She’s still with that prick, isn’t she?”

“They’ve been together for twenty years. And there’s no sign of a separation. They are more in love than ever.”

You scoffed. “Of course they are.”

“Listen, I don’t think they are gonna come and find you in Ireland. And why would they?” Mary tried to comfort you.

“To stir shit up.” You replied.

“I think she genuinely wants to have a relationship with you. And I know, you don’t. And Dave was wrong to give her your address.” Mary kept on. “I don’t think she’s going to show up, I just needed you to know.”

That gave you pause. “You don’t think she’s going to show up. But you needed me to know that she knew where I was?”

“Yeah—just in case.”

You huffed out a laugh. “Just in case. Yeah, she’s definitely showing up. With her boyfriend.”

“Husband.” Your sister corrected you.

“Fantastic.” You said dryly. “Remind me again why I decided not to go no contact with Dave?”

“Your goddaughter.”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “Thanks for telling me.”

“Of course.” Your sister breathed out. “What kind of sister would I be if I didn’t?”

“The bad kind.” You joked softly. “I love you.”

“I know.”

“Say it back.” You frowned up.

“Talk to you later.” And she hung up. You immediately texted back a middle finger emoji.

You laughed when she texted it back to you. You dropped your head back against the wall.

Your mother had left when you were a child. And immediately after leaving your father, she had found love in the arms of her new husband. After years of emotional abuse, and manipulation on her part, of constant walking in and out of your life, you put a stop to it. You couldn’t go through this anymore. It was too painful. Plus, you hated her new husband. He was—he was not good. You had tried to accept him. You wanted to. But something about him, the way he behaved around you, made you afraid and unsafe. You couldn’t have that in your life. You didn’t want to feel that way anytime you were around your mother. You stopped any attempt at having a relationship with her. You no longer wanted her in your life.

Hopefully, your sister was right, your mother would not make the journey to Ireland. You were hoping for it at least. Your life was finally getting together. You were at peace here in Ireland and you wanted it to stay that way.

As soon as you got home, you discarded your shoes by the door, dropped your bags by the couch and fell into it. That day had turned out to be a long one. You loved hearing from your sister but you had regretted to call her at all. Especially with the bit of news she had given you. You should have stayed in bed this morning. Although, if you had—you would not have met your quite handsome neighbor.

Your mind flashed back to his soft hazel eyes, and the lone dimple that appeared under his beard when he smiled. Quite handsome, indeed.

“Damn it!” You cussed. “He’s a criminal. A drug lord and a murderer. You can’t find him attractive.”

You shouldn't and you wouldn't. He was a Kinsella and they were dangerous people. You needed to stay away from him.

Dressed in grey leggings and a large hoodie, you were enjoying your small diner in front of mind-numbing TV. When the red and blue lights flashed through your front windows. The Garda were down your streets. Shortly after they arrived, you heard the heart wrenching wail of a woman down the street. You slowly put your plate down. What had happened? You knew by the sound of that scream that terrible news had just been delivered.

The flashes of blue and red had vanished a while after that. You were lying in bed, hopelessly trying to fall asleep. But your thoughts could not just stop swirling around in your mind. Jimmy and Amanda had lost their son; Jamie Kinsella. The local news had broadcasted the news on their websites. It was brief and they didn’t have much information. But all of them relayed the same information over and over again. Jamie Kinsella had been shot and died on the scene.

You couldn’t help the sadness that taken over you when you read the news.  He was barely seventeen. Too young to die. He was just a child. You knew how it felt to lose a parent. It was painful and heartbreaking. In your case, you had time to say goodbye and come to terms with it. It was a loss; it was painful but not in the way the world perceived it. You had known it was coming. And you had already mourned your father before it ever happened. You had expected it.

As for Jamie, it was unexpected. It was so sudden and brutal. How did one prepare for such a death? How did one prepare for the loss of a child? It was not the natural order of things. That was not how it was supposed to go. A parent should never have to bury a child. And yet, it happened.

Why were you affected by it? Yes, it was sad. A young life had just ended but you barely knew him. It shouldn’t bother you that much. It shouldn’t affect you as it did. Your thoughts inevitably drifted to your neighbor next door. How was he feeling? How was he coping with the loss? Was he over at his brother’s to bring his support? Or was he alone in his home dealing with the loss on his own? No one should be alone when dealing with a loss. You knew how terrible it was to receive no comfort. To just stew in your own pain, alone.

Seeing as you couldn’t sleep, you had moved downstairs. You quietly made your way into your kitchen, looking for something that may help you fall asleep. The gold door light of your neighbor was filtering through your large window. Against the dimmed light, you could make out the silhouette of a woman walking away from Michael’s house. It was too dark out for you to be able to tell who it was. You watched as she disappeared behind the brick wall.

It must have been hard on all of them. Especially after they had all celebrated Michael’s release from prison. And now this. The tragic loss of a child. You could only imagine how Jimmy and Amanda were feeling. And Michael—

You took a deep breath and grabbed your keys off of the hook. You stepped out of the front door, in the chill air of the night. After you locked your door, you hugged yourself to keep warm and made your way to your neighbor’s door. You two had just met and this was probably bold of you to assume. But you thought that he might not want to be alone to face this. And maybe you were wrong. Maybe Michael did not mind being alone. That thought alone made you hesitate. Still, you made your way over to his doorstep. Your fist hovered for a few seconds. Hesitating. With another deep breath, you knocked three times. And you waited. You were growing more nervous as the seconds went by. You hugged yourself tighter. The door swung open revealing Michael behind it.

“Michael, hey.” You greeted him. Shoulders slumped, eyes red from crying, Michael looked tired and pained. Although, he tried and failed to hide it all behind a mask. “I saw the Guards earlier—” You went for the direct approach. And mentally slapped yourself for it.

“So, ya know about Jamie?” He nodded solemnly.

“I do.” You nodded. “I just came to see if you were—how you were doing?”

He scoffed, his sorrowful gaze dropping to the ground. “Not great.”

You puffed out a shaky breath. “I don’t mean to intrude or—” You trailed off. “Do you want to be alone?” You questioned him. His eyes snapped up at you. His brows scrunched up in confusion. His eyes roamed your face, studying you. “I know what it’s like to be alone when you lose someone.” You blurted out. “It’s not great but—if you’d rather be alone—” You trailed off.

His sorrowful eyes scanned you over. Studying you. You had surprised him. He clearly did not expect his neighbor that he barely met, to come to him in the middle of the night. Especially not to offer him comfort. Comfort that he desperately needed. Birdy had told him that he needed to be there for Jimmy and Amanda. Amanda had asked him what were Jamie’s last moments like. And for all of them, he had shown a brave face. He had stood strong but he was there too. He had seen it all. And no one had stopped to ask how he was feeling—except for you. His gaze roamed your face, he noticed how you tightened your arms around your middle.

He cleared his throat. “D’ya—want to come in?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. Michael stepped to the side to let you in.

So much for staying away from the criminal next door. There you were, in his home in the middle of night. The layout of his home was almost identical to yours for the most part, kitchen by the front door. The hallway that led to the living room. You left your slippers by the front door and followed Michael to the sitting room. He sat down in his couch as you stood by the doorway. Putting a semblance of distance between you.

“I was there,” Michael said after a few minutes of silence.

Your breath hitched in your throat at his words before your eyes fell shut. Pained to hear that he had seen it happened. He looked up at you, grief etched into every line of his face.

“He was laughin’, messin’ around and then—he was just gone.” Michael said quietly. His face crumpled as a set of fresh tears fell down his face. His hand quickly wiped away any traces of them.

“I’m so sorry you had to see it.” You said quietly, tears pressing against your eyes.

“He was just a boy.” Michael continued quietly.

“I know.” You were itching to reach over and just pull him into your embrace. Would he even allow it?

“Birdy told me I need to be there for Jimmy and Amanda.” His voice cracked. “Losin’ their son and everythin’. But—I—I lost him too.” He buried his face into his hands. “Jamie was—” His voice muffled by his hands. You waited for him to finish his thought but it never came as a sob racked his body.

You quickly wiped away a stray tear from your face. You moved to go sit down next to him. Your arms slowly and gently wrapped around him. And pulled him into you. His hands went up to your forearm, around his neck. You leaned your cheek on the top of his head. Whispering words of comfort as he wept. You probably had overstepped boundaries here. But what were you supposed to do? This was the only way you knew how to bring comfort.

Your ran your hand on his back in a soothing circle. When he seemed to have calm down, he pulled gently away from you. Your arms fell back at your sides. He ran his hand over his face, erasing the tears that had fallen there.

“Sorry.” He apologized as he did so.

“Don’t be.” You shook your head. “It’s okay.” You started to run your hands on your thighs, in a nervous manner. “I just—I’m so sorry about Jamie.”

Michael nodded solemnly; his eyes red from crying. He rested his hand on your knee. Your breath hitched in your throat at the gesture. Your eyes went to his face. He was staring at you, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Thank you,” He said. “For askin’ and for—bein’ here.”

“Ah.” You nodded, smiling softly. “I have no merit. I was just doing my neighborly duties.”

“Is that it?” Michael retorted his voice still thick with emotions. He cleared his throat. “Is that why you here?”

You shrugged. “Like I said, I know how it feels like to lose someone and have no one there with you; to comfort you. When you desperately need it. It feels very—”

“Lonely.” He finished for you.

“Yeah.” You stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds. “And should you need a shoulder to cry on again—I’m right next door. Whenever you need.”  

He squeezed your knee gently, as tears welled back up in his eyes. A warm smile made its way onto his face. You had meant it. You probably shouldn’t have offered but you couldn’t help yourself. Michael Kinsella had looked so broken and so pained; it was hard to not offer comfort when he needed it. You knew too well, what it was like to not receive any when you needed it. And Michael needed it.

You just really hoped you had helped a little.

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[rolling-in-guano]

31DOD Day 23

Hear me out. So we've all seen the Batman/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic

But Dick Grayson has never been too involved with these events. Some of you may even know who Karai is, and I'm not talking about 2012 Karai who was Splinter's long lost daughter kidnapped by the foot or 2018 Karai who was a sweet grandma. I'm talking about the IDW 2011 comic book Karai.

Imagine this, Dick Grayson as Batman with his Robin the prickly Damian we know and love. Now, we know that Damian's grandfather, Ra's al Ghul, is an immortal leader of an assassin clan that bathes in mountain dew to maintain his flesh or whatever. And then Damian is searching for a nobler way through working with Dick!bats to make up for his past mistakes with the LOA.

Now enter Karai, the granddaughter of Oroku Saki, AKA the Shredder, who in the IDW version was the leader of the Foot Clan in feudal Japan. Shredder was then pickled in some sort of demonic juice until modern day where he was brought back to life so he could take over New York and have sex with his sexy immortal fox girlfriend. Sound familiar?

Here's Karai using her blood to bring back her pickled grandpappy in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Secret History of the Foot Clan #4

Batman (1940) #243

I'm mean look at this loser getting it on in his mountain dew.

Anyway, so Dick is Batman and Damian is Robin and Karai ends up in in their universe somehow. Now Dick is dealing with two grandchildren who were raised to be assassins. I just think it would be real funny.

In Batman Unlimited, Damian ends up taking over the League of an Assassins. Karai ends up taking over the foot clan. I think they would get along in the strangest passive aggressive but also polite way. Then Dick is there being the responsible one keeping them from committing crazy murder. He would probably end up fighting Ra's again which I always enjoy:

Nightwing (1996) #152

I want more of Dick kicking this crusty dudes ass.

I think this would give him a chance to eldest daughter syndrome it up with Leo as well as trauma bond over the fact that there are crazy assassin psychos out there obsessed with controlling their brains.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2011) #29

Lookit my poor baby who can barely recognize his own brother after trying to murder him. Ring any bells with Dick Grayson?

The IDW TMNT comics are pretty darn violent. Not for kids my friends.

Unrelated, sort of, but people are always trying to compare the robins with the four turtles. They always say that 3/4 is good enough but I think they are missing the obvious solution here. Stephanie Brown is a Michaelangelo. I think they would be fast friends! Stephanie is a robin too so she should get to hang with the turtles.

I think Damian would get along with Jennika though :)

They are both sweethearts.

[masked-disciple]

*me not walking into a trap* Tell me about Hyacinthe and Iris! :) (genuinely though!)

So the actual chance tumblr would literally murder the quality of this is 50/50, but you should be able to view it in a new tab at proper resolution?? If that's not the case I'll rebagel with them broken-up so tumblr doesn't resize it.

Left to right we've got Iris, Hyacinthe, Katsuhito, and Yumiko! Iris obviously not an OC, the other three are. All of them are shown at roughly nine or ten years of age, although not at once: Iris is about twelve years older than Katsu, and about fourteen-fifteen older than Yumiko.

Under the cut, so I may ramble a bit!

Iris is Klint's daughter, born June 17, 1889. Hyacinthe is Barok's daughter, born February 6 1890. They're not twins, but they'll let you believe they are, because they act like it. They're sisters in every way that matters, and they refer to each other as such, and referring to them as anything else gets you shot.

They didn't meet until Iris was seven and Hyacinthe was six. Iris was living with Fionn, aware that he wasn't her father but not of anything about her blood family. Until one day, she went to look in her bedroom mirror, only to see a girl that wasn't her staring back at her, trees on the other side, as though the girl was looking through a pool of water to Iris.

Hyacinthe van Zieks died July 15 1891, a year and a few months' after her birth. She suffered from Magical Energy Waning Syndrome, the same condition that would have killed her Uncle Moriarty if the van Zieks forest hadn't killed him first. She died in her sleep, peacefully, resting against Barok's chest. Klint took her spirit away, and raised her in his brother's place, refusing to change into human form but doing what he could to be there for her anyway.

Two years and one day after Hyacinthe's death, Barok's life would be shattered again by the death of the woman who he called sister himself: Angharad Gingerson, Beatrice's eldest daughter. But theirs is another story. For now, Iris is seven years old, and the girl who is her dead sister is looking back at her through her mirror.

Hyacinthe knows how to talk: she learned from Beatrice and Osian and Ariadne, the latter of which who will tolerate her but makes no effort to conceal the fact she hates Hyacinthe's guts. She can talk well enough that the two can introduce themselves, and Hyacinthe can explain that they're sisters without disclosing who their family actually is.

The truth is, Hyacinthe doesn't know who her other parent is: she is the daughter of Barok van Zieks the Chainbreaker, for all they call him now the Reaper of the Bailey. She has been raised by a great white wolf of a ghost, who swears to her that she is family, that she will not be alone. She is the sister of Iris Wilson, and she wants to be friends.

They have tea together every day that they can. They talk about their days and brush their hair, they puzzle through inventions and magical theory together. Iris is not the resurrectionist her uncle is, not yet. She can't call the animals of the forest back to life by singing to them. She can't step through the mirror and hold her sister tight.

But she's an inventor, and she'll find a way. Hyacinthe likes reading theory, likes studying, wants to be a part of the hot, fast world her sister lives in. There's no mirrors in the van Zieks estate to watch Barok from, she doesn't know how he's coping with her death. She wants to take her sister's hand and meet him, hold onto the man who must be parent to them both.

They are determined, and they know better than to tell any adult of their relationship to each other, they know better than to admit what sort of magics they're willing to study if it means neither of them ever has to be lonely ever again.

By the time Barok is accused of murdering Inspector Gregson, they've managed it. Iris can pass through the mirror, sit in the ghostly forest of the twilight with her sister and have a tea party. It takes much more work, and much more power, to bring Hyacinthe into the daylight. They manage it anyway, just in time for Barok to be arrested, just in time for a homecoming a decade in the making to be sidelined by tragedy.

Hyacinthe runs in the daylight in the form of a wolf puppy, ribbons tied to the fur by her ears, Iris running beside her. They do not want to split up, but someone needs to tell the Queen, and someone needs to stay by Barok's side.

Iris goes. Hyacinthe stays. Barok recognizes his daughter, as he would in any form she took, and does not let go of her even as he watches the two men he loves more than he knows how to deal with argue over whether or not he will join his daughter in death. At this point, he might have said he no longer cared. At this point, he can see Klint's eyes in his daughter and in Iris and in the great white, ghostly wolf that flanks Kazuma even as Barok watches him fall apart. At this point, he is no longer thinking of what mercy the world could even still grant him, but what he can save before he goes.

After the trial, Susato and Gina are held up at the Old Bailey, being interrogated for their roles in the aftermath. The boys are holding fast to each other, Ryunosuke suggesting a nice pub to get blackout drunk at so that maybe come morning they'll remember how to hold to each other. Yuujin and Fionn are handling the fallout that they can, but they won't be home until late, either.

Klint van Zieks, the great white wolf that has raised Hyacinthe in his brother's stead, who allowed through no choice of his own for someone else to raise his eldest daughter, takes the two girls home, and explains to Iris who he is, and who, thus, she must also be.

It takes the two girls six months to build a life-sized balljoint doll for Hyacinthe to haunt, so she may be as close to alive as a dead girl may get. Mary Shelley's methods are, alas, some years' away from being viable.

Decades later, they can be found in Greece as tenured professors at Saint Shion's University, one as a pioneer of necromagy and artificing, and the other a magical theoretician who studies whatever catches her fancy. They'll argue with everyone and each other, send letters to their younger siblings and occasionally be cajoled into telling the story of Ryunosuke Naruhodo and the Time He Blew Up Iris' Invention Of An Electric Toaster.

They cannot, tragically, be cajoled into playing themselves when The Adventure of Ryunosuke Naruhodo, directed by Katsuhito Naruhodo, hits theatres in late 2000. But they do show up on set a few times for pictures and autographs, despite being over a hundred years old and looking like they're in their early seventies at best.

Hyacinthe, however, can still be cajoled into doing her best impression of Barok, and can pitch a chalice accurately at thirty yards behind her without looking. Because she's Hyacinthe van Zieks and she can do that.

[doueverwonder]

I am having the feelings for my gaul oc tonight. probably gonna write this out wake up in the morning and see none of this is coherent and then I'll delete it BUT FOR NOW it is 3 am and I have feelings(tm)

Gaul had 5 kids. 1 with Rome (France) and 4 with Germania (HRE, Switzerland, Netherlands, Belgium).

Now, I see a lot of 'France had a wonderful relationship with his mom!!" bro he absolutely did not. Welcome to the wonderful world of Gaul hated Rome and every time she looked at France all she could see was his father even though as we all know François looks nothing like Romulus. France always knew his mother didn't really love him, not completely at least; he doesn't even have an 'epiphany' moment, he just grew up knowing it. When France was idk, five, maybe six, Gaul for lack of better term ran away from Rome's house. She escaped (eventually he'd catch her again unfortunately) she ran for the hills and for a long while was free.

She ended up married to Germania, how we got there doesn't matter rn, but they were married. We can discuss though how they had very different views of their marriage, partially bc they didn't know how to communicate for shit. Gaul always thought them ending up together resulted from nothing but the fact that they had a common enemy. Germania always thought they were married because they enjoyed being with each other, which wasn't completely untrue. they had a decent relationship, but, it wasn't anything special.

They hadn't been married long when their first child came along, a daughter, Adelheid (or Heidi). Now, Heidi may have been the personification of The Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation; she was also Eldest Daughter Syndrome personified. yknow the "I hate my mother. My mother is the only person who understands me. I'm more like my father. My father doesn't know a thing about me."

Switzerland would be the only one to ever be able to claim he knew his mother. Really knew her, it was an odd thing but Heidi was trying so hard to please their father that it left Aldrich with his mother all the time, he didn't mind. He would be the most torn up by her death, part of his "how do you feel?" "I don't" mentality comes from the extra traumatic circumstances surrounding Gaul's death.

Netherlands didn't have much of a relationship with his mother. When Rome did find Gaul again she was pregnant with him, Rome didn't know that not for a few months. When Eitel would be born Rome would basically call a meeting with Germania to go 'I believe this belongs to you' give him newborn Ned and half-order him to never come back.

I've talked about Belgium before; but I'll say it again. She was born when her mother was living under, and her father was working for Rome. Emma was born, they passed her off as Rome's kid for a good while before he connected some dots and disowned her.

France hated his half-siblings, he despised them. Why? Gaul didn't love France; she couldn't. And he tried his hardest to convince himself that he wasn't jealous, that he was happy they got what he didn't. But in the end, some of his last words to Heidi were "what do you have that I don't? What made her love you?"

His relationship with his siblings has gotten better as time has gone on, it won't be the same as if they grew up together obviously. But it's good, they're all happy with the state of it.

But sometimes, sometimes François can't help but look at Aldrich, Eitel, and Emma with a pang of jealousy and wonder again "what made maman love them?"

[fandomlurker333]

Thank you for engaging btw! Yay!

No, I do understand what you’re saying and I agree with the essence of it! I didn’t mean to imply you were saying Sam’s character is a queer allegory.

Your analysis surrounds Sam’s othering in the narrative, how he doesn’t fit masculinity as defined within it, etc. and my point is that this is “queering”, in the use of the verb queer, to me. You’re saying Sam is feminized (which, he absolutely is!) and I’m saying yes, that makes sense because he’s queered within the narrative (the wider narrative even beyond his interactions with Dean, yes). And quite obviously imo.

The ways Sam is othered and ostracized extends beyond the ways the feminine archetype or femininity is othered in patriarchal society (imo). Yes, the feminine is dichotomized. It’s reduced. It’s silenced. It’s violated. It’s commodified. It’s villainized, or else virginized.

But the “monster within” and the “addict that can never get clean”, “the freak of the family” are also SO Sam. And the connotations of these characteristics (particularly given these are such huge aspects of Sam in the show) can’t be overstated, to me. It feels very queer and not mistakenly. He’s presented as non-normative in ways that supersede the gender binary and lean into this broader sense of othering.

I’m not saying there is no patriarchal allegory in Supernatural. Nor am I saying Dean didn’t operate as a patriarchal figure. I agree to both points. I think where I disagree is the idea that the narrative leaves no room for nuance. Not only in Sam’s characterization, but in Dean’s.

You may feel I’m leaning too hard into this. And that’s fair. But I maintain that Dean does operate as a matriarchal figure in the narrative as well. Not just parentified. But spousified (being made a kind of “partner” -- in this case hunting partner, but I think that can be extrapolated — to John well before adulthood) AND eldest daughtered (over-responsibility, high anxiety, putting Sam’s needs above his own, high achieving — in hunting, obviously, which is the only thing that grants him John’s approval, people-pleasing, emotional labor/taking on the burden of John and Sam’s emotions). Despite being an elder brother to Sam, Dean in childhood typifies eldest daughter syndrome to a T.

I’m not saying he isn’t brother (again, that veneer of masculinity—the ribbing, the pranks, the goading, the physical violence — it is there), I’m saying this role is complicated and nuanced by the fact that he is also sister.

Beyond this, Dean himself says he had to be a mother to Sam. And while yes, Mary haunts the narrative in a typical heteronormative function for John (and Sam and Dean) to be all Sad!Man Dead!Wife revenge tour (lol) she also is shown early on to be less real to Sam than she is to either Dean or John. Dean may have the false memory of Mary to pine for but Sam never even had that. He had Dean.

Yes, we’re shown Dean away with John on hunts leaving Sam alone. Dean as provider. Dean as protector. Dean as enforcer, punisher, etc.

But we’re also shown Dean taking on what I’d call traditionally feminine gender roles in the home; cooking for Sam (both in their childhood and in the present; and we, notably, don’t see Sam cooking for Dean), cleaning after Sam, constantly noting his physical needs (ie. you’re due for a haircut, noting Sam eats rabbit food and buying that so he eats), caretaking (we see Dean nurse Sam when he’s ill for a whole season — we actually see him beg Sam “please, you gotta let me take care of you” because this is so ingrained, as you’ve said).

Dean, by his own admittance, “nesting” in the bunker. (Nesting, as in what women do during pregnancy. lol)

There’s this particular opening scene I’m thinking of where Sam is sleep and his phone starts ringing and it wakes him up. He jerks awake and looks over at Dean and Dean says,

“Don’t give me that dirty diaper look. I ain’t the one calling you.” And his tone (the sass, the fondness — let alone the allusion to him being the one to change Sam’s diapers)! He sounded so much like my Mother in that moment, I paused the show and blinked to process it. lol

I think Dean as mother is often less intensely visible because Dean is pretty constantly overcompensating for the ways it feminizes him. Having had no positive or complex model of femininity in his life and needing to protect himself and Sam growing up, it makes sense Dean chose to more loudly perform his masculinity to stay safe (the feminine is vulnerable, of course). But that doesn’t mean he isn’t also matriarchal. It just means we have to look closer.

I think it’s worth noting that once Mary is actually alive in the show and with them, she completely fails to align to the trad!wife or traditional gender roles that Dean wants/expects her to. Specifically, Dean struggles with this — Mary being a hunter, Mary’s lack of warmth/compassion, how she don’t cook, don’t check in, and doesn’t do caretaking all that well. lol

Sam doesn’t ask much from Mary, though. And while he wants her acceptance, he doesn’t put on her the same expectations. And I’d argue that’s because Dean fulfilled all those roles for him. And even once Mary is there, Dean continues to. Mary is shown to have no place with them. And that’s because Dean actually did manage to usurp her, not in John’s life, but certainly for Sam.

Yes, Dean as embodied patriarch is accurate! I’m not saying it’s not. I’m just saying that to me…there is nuance.

i've said it before and i'll say it again: sam winchester as a character is what happens when you've created a character that doesn't fit the standard of masculinity you've set within the narrative of the show but said show remains heteronormative enough for it not to be able to create a 'role' for this character (who is now also Othered for said weird masculinity) that isn't just another traditionally gendered role. sam falls into the position of the woman — the smart and endearing hero who cannot achieve victory on his own in most cases or the damsel in distress in others. eric kripke always talks about sam and dean as characters inspired by luke skywalker and han solo respectively but i think he failed to account for the genre change: the sci-fi political critique that is star wars vs the horror americana critique that is supernatural. sci-fi was able to account for luke's emasculation and the narrative remained nuanced enough to not push him into a feminine role, one was created for him but in the mid-2000s horror that is supernatural, that nuance does not exist; this horror is inherently prejudice in a way that cannot account for the nuance in sam's masculinity. he misses being luke skywalker by a gap the size of a sewing needle and falls into the role of leia skywalker. for what it's worth i am beating and will continue to beat this horse (the patriarchal structure allegory) dead.

(also i was talking about this in some tags earlier but sam also seems to adopt misogyny or uses misogynist quips as a defense mechanism for proving the masculinity that's constantly being questioned by the narrative. he shuns the role of scully, not because of scully herself but because of the fact that he's labeled as scully by dean)

[carelessflower]

happy bday alec lightwood bane. in honor of our fav blorbo what are your fav things abt him and fav alec centric moments…

the fact that i have to narrow don the thing i love about him and not just saying his entire existence is a crime itself but fine im a virgo i can deal with challenge

fave qualities

he's a bad bitch: listen i think fandom should stop arguing over what is the best interpretation of him like whether hes shy or hes bitchy the answer is both! he's awkward around strangers and will not hesitate to cut a bitch when the time comes!! its his duality

the way he love: when he love someone he doesnt hold back. he doesnt even know how to hold back. its an earth-shattering feeling that shake everything to the core (see what i did there). he may hide himself in the past but he know who he is now and who he love, and anyone with difference opinion can go and be miserable

his protectiveness: his family his sibling his parent every children he come across every person that need his help, he will do everything he can to help them, 100% wont hesitate to stab himself if it can help someone

2. fav alec centric moments

we're getting serious strap yourself in this one is for my babygurll

idc this is the best introduction for alec. hes that bitch okay he is simultaneously the diplomatic person in the group and the one who actually does his research when the gang about to go to hell but BUT dont even try him he will cut you and your self-esteem

when i tell you i squeal and cheer and laugh. no hes not here for your drama or to make you a pie he got a bottle of wine and a dream and an ex-boyfriend to rescue stay out of his way

unhinged!alec supporter where are you at!?!??! no but seriously this moment, the way he said "die, then, liar" like reporting the news then shot merlion like, he put the cute in execute. i support alec rights but more importantly, i support alec's wrongs use you go you murder machine

like the arrows that he use in battle alec never hold back. once hes decided on something or loving someone its ride or die for him its that serious. if your man not ready to be in hell with you raise your standard you deserve better

through this exchange, u understand the kind of person alec is and how he is ready to shoulder other responsibilities and not even blame them for that. alec lightwood-bane is for the people with eldest daughter syndrome thats my babygurll

[brw]

Reed and Sue for the character ask please?

REED

Sexuality Headcanon: I definitely see him as asexual!! Despite being almost 50 in canon he’s only ever really been with one person, Sue. He was only shown to have one girlfriend previously and even then their relationship for the most part seemed fairly one-sided so! Also despite being one of marvel’s oldest characters I could probably count all the times he seemed attracted to people on one hand fdcbfvhjvfbhj. he is an ace king <3

Gender Headcanon: A man but only by association <3 jk kinda but um i am fluid abt this! i definitely have written fics about him being trans or nonbinary so! but also it’s not a constant and i have plenty of cis-ish reed stories so yeah cdbdcbhjfcj.

A ship I have with said character: Him and Sue ofc is a big one :> one of the best classic marvel couples, if not the best! but ofc DoomReed is also a banger + him and Ben make a cute best friends to lovers dymanic fjhnfdv

A BROTP I have with said character: Him and Ben 2: the electric boogaloo vfjhfjfvjdv but um yeah! they have a very sweet underrated friendship??? like i’ve said, why don’t they hug more! they’re best friends and more people should remember that abt their dymanic reed is way too polite to ben jfc i’ve called my friends idiots (affectionate) at least 100 times. BUT aside from that he has a very nice dymanic with the other marvel scientists (tm), honestly “Atomic Knights Of The Round Table” how much more nerdy can you get jfc. definitely want to see some flashbacks to them playing DND cdddfhfvhfh. and finally him & jen! i find it very cute and sweet how close Reed is to random people tbh, he’s a human capybara.

A NOTP I have with said character: I dunno if I really have one? I haven’t seen anything that really made me go “ew” with regards to Reed. Most stuff is OK conceptually. I guess at a stretch (lol) that au where Natasha/Black Widow had a crush on him was kinda weird. But that’s about it dcbfdhjdfvdh

A random headcanon: IDK why but I see him as a clothes hoarder. One of those people who’s wardrobe is 80% stuff he borrowed and then never gave back from others bhcfdhbfvdh. When he does buy his own clothes they’re absolutely awful and garish <3 so he just ends up taking others. Perk of stretching; everything fits. I also think he could be good at baking but only when extremely stressed out idk why cfdchfdfdvhj.

General Opinion over said character: Legend <3 get’s a bad rep for sure. Just an autistic stretchy man who loves his family very much and is a good dad. I hope he’s having a good day. One of the Comfort Characters (tm) for me. Do wish his funko pop could like. stand up and not fall down BUT ASIDE FROM THAT. 10/10 a perfect character for my wants and needs. 

SUE

Sexuality Headcanon: Bi sapiosexual <3 /hj

Gender Headcanon: Similar to Reed I don’t have anything strong however her and reed have strong t4t vibes and I like the idea a lot tbh. Easily could be marvel’s trans milf representation if they were not cowards! but um yeah fchjfcdhfdhj. nothing strong but a lot of nice concepts <3

A ship I have with said character: Yet again, her n Reed! They’re very sweet and the fact that they’ve been going strong as long as they have is an achievement! BUT ALSO her and alicia have strong Gal Pals (tm) energy so that’s also fun. I also rlly like BenReedSue for her I just think she deserves to have two handsome boys love her a lot.

A BROTP I have with said character: Her and Jan Van Dyne have such a nice cute friendship! I definitely liked when you can see them go out for lunch n stuff and gossip about their pet scientists and kick ass together they should do it more often. They’re good friends! I don’t think it’s been on panel much but I would also like to see her friendship with Wanda! They obviously talked at least once bc Sue copied her opera gloves look for a bit so they obviously are close enough that Sue felt comfortable to do that, so I’d like to see more of them too! I think they’d have more in common than realised. and OFC her and Alicia again. Very sweet and nice. I like how much they care abt each other and look out for one another.

A NOTP I have with said character: Her and Namor <3 get that shit away from me

A random headcanon: NO idea why and I think this may be a latent piece of canon in the back of my mind that I cannot recall but I think she plays guitar, specifically base and is pretty decent at it. I also think that the few movies she starred in in Ye Olde Days have become cult classics now :>

General Opinion over said character: Wife <3 one of the most powerful marvel characters in universe and i’d like everyone to remember it! More than capable of kicking ass. should be allowed to go feral more often. Also deserves to be drawn as the 50 year old she is jfc stop making her look Vaguely 20 she is the same age as Reed and Ben and I will maintain this until the day I die <3 sufferer of Eldest Daughter Syndrome but we can’t all be perfect. Marvel keeps nerfing her by having her be written by D*n Sl*tt and B*rne because if they let her be the 50 something y/o milf capable of taking out the Avengers in 0.5 seconds she’d be too powerful for them to contain.

send a character!

[matildainmotion]

An invitation to MWMs May Special for Non-binary/ Trans Mothers and Carers, and/or Mothers and Carers of Non-binary/ Trans Children

Image by Xavier Singer-Kingsmith for Gray, Nicky Singer’s new book. 

From Matilda:

In a month in which my son’s primary focus is the forthcoming arrival of his Lord of The Rings Conquest game and my daughter has just discovered Barbie, I am glad to be able to hold space for some less cis options in between. 

On Friday May 28th 10am-12pm I will be holding a MWM Special for non-binary or trans mothers and carers and/ or mothers and carers of non-binary or trans children. I am delighted to introduce the two guests for this meeting: writer and mother Nicky Singer, and director and mother P. Burton Morgan. Please read on for their invitations below:

From Nicky: 

My youngest child Xavier (now 24) identifies as a trans man. He is a dancer by training, filmmaker by inclination (shorts for Channel 4 and BBC Arts) and visual artist in the spaces between. I am primarily a novelist - though I have strayed on to the stage for the National Theatre and Glyndebourne. Xavier and I have been working together on my new novel for adults ‘Gray’ – with me on words and Xavier on pictures. The novel is a story of identity, boundaries, intimacy and that ‘place beyond language’ where some trans issues invite investigation. The journey is ongoing. The unexpected is every day. It’s not always easy. There’s joy. Here (above) is one of the illustrations from the book. I am interested in the personal, the creative, the political and how to keep nuance and complexity in the debate.

From P Burton Morgan:

We’re all of us artist mothers wrestling with imposter syndrome at one time or another I’m sure. I can’t be the only one whose work has shifted a bit during the pandemic. I was previously mostly a writer and director of stage work, now increasingly embracing film. But as we all push ourselves, or are unceremoniously shoved, out of our comfort zones we have to confront those pesky inner critics questioning our right to be there, to be taking up space doing something for which we’re wildly unqualified and painfully inexperienced. And so here I am today inviting you all to join me for a session on non-binary parenting / motherhood.

I am as out of my depth here, as I am in my newfound role as a film-maker because I only came out as non-binary last year, and unlike my trans sibling who has been vocally active and activist in their writing and general change-making around trans awareness and trans support for years, I am still taking baby-steps in putting words out into the world that combine my gender politics with my own gender identity and/or gender presentation. Like many enbys I’m still struggling to feel ‘trans enough’ to take up space on trans/NB platforms (which this is of course one). I’m also at great pains to point out that my unique situation (coming out as NB in my mid… ok late… thirties, after already having two children) is going to be so very different to parents/mothers who come out much earlier. I’m also married to a cis man so on a day where I choose to present more femme, or just less androgynously, we can pass as a ‘conventional’ heteronormative couple, which makes life less challenging in the small rural village where we live.

So after that uncharacteristically hesitant opening let me ask some provocations which maybe we can explore together in the session. I sure as hell don’t have the answers, but maybe collectively we can grope our way towards something resembling solutions.

Pronouns. I prefer they/them but apart from my 8 year old who has assimilated that change wholeheartedly (perhaps because he has inherited his mother’s love of, and precision with, language) everyone else reverts to ‘she’ unless I remind them. That is perhaps just part of the deal with changing your pronouns later in life. Especially for family and folk who’ve known you for decades, it takes time to change.

I still use the word ‘mum’ and ‘mother’ to describe myself, but also sometimes simply parent. For me the term 'mum' is a role, almost independent of gender. But I know other parents use other terms. And although I do still use my birth name ‘Poppy’ I now work professionally entirely under P Burton-Morgan.

So that's one thing to discuss - embracing evolving pronouns and names.

What else… gender presentation. Since making peace with who I am, and where I feel at home, I now always identify as non-binary or gender queer but I sometimes still present in a more feminine way, sometimes because that’s how I feel that day and also, if I’m honest, to avoid conflict and micro aggressions in situations and scenarios where I know my queer identity is going to be problematised. Sigh.

Conversely both my children currently identify very happily as male but because they have been raised in a household that eschews traditional gender binaries in terms of clothing they often wear leggings, sequins, nail varnish, and one of them has long hair cut in what many would describe as a ‘feminine’ style. We obviously move in (thankfully) liberal circles but they’ve rarely been challenged on their sartorial choices, and I remember the nursery used to be wonderfully supportive when one of them would come to pre-school in a beloved pink tutu. Sarah Jessica Parker eat your heart out! Just the other day we were in the playground when a child asked my eldest if he was a girl or a boy, but with no judgement, simply trying to ascertain the facts. And he equally matter of factly answered that he was a boy and they carried on playing in the sand.

I wish my experiences were similarly straightforward. But partly that’s why I don’t bother correcting people when they slip up with my pronouns - sometimes there’s more anxiety induced by people trying to get it right and walking on eggshells around me, over emphasising the ‘they’ and then furiously fumbling to correct themselves when they say she. So I just try to be chill about it.

At the end of the day, as an NB parent, or a parent of an NB or trans child, we all want the same thing - acceptance. Queer identity will only ever be a greater or lesser part of a larger identity. For few (maybe none) of us is it our defining feature. And as well all know from inhabiting the dual roles of mother and artist - the nature of our multi-layered messy lives is that our identities may overlap or even conflict with each other, we all contain multitudes - but we are not defined by any one aspect of our complex selves…

So join me in a gentle exploration of these overlapping messy parts of ourselves and let's see how we can support each other and what wisdom we can discover.

To book your place on the meeting (places limited) please go here

And for any questions please email matilda@motherswhomake.org

[radudracula]

Radu’s Story

Note: This is the “Hollywood” version of the story including many popular myths about Radu cel Frumos. How true some of these myths are will be further explored in later posts on this blog.

Do you want to hear a story?

It’s about Dracula.

No, not that Dracula, the real one.

No, not Vlad “the Impaler” Dracula. The other one. Radu “the Beautiful” Dracula.

There’s two Draculas! you say.

Well, actually there were three, (not including all the illegitimate Draculas) but I’m here to tell you about the youngest; Radu III cel Frumos.

A quick google search will tell you lots about this obscure Romanian noble – he was the Sultan’s “homosexual obsession”, “the man who killed Dracula”, the man who actually inspired Bram Stoker’s Dracula, a Muslim, a Christian, a weak-pushover and a strong military leader. In fact it will tell you so many things that you may ended up knowing nothing about him. In any case, let me try to give you an overview of the Hollywood highlights of the other Dracula’s life.

The 15th century Balkans

Radu was born sometime between 1437-1439, the third legitimate son of Vlad II Dracul. His father was Voivode (Prince) of Wallachia – barely. Despite being declared Voivode of Wallachia in 1431 Vlad Dracul hadn’t actually obtained the throne until 1436 because 15th century Balkan politics were a messTM.

Now, Vlad Dracul hadn’t been born with the name Dracul but had taken it after being indicted into the Order of the Dragon (Dracul=Dragon in Romanian). The Order of the Dragon was a Holy order of nobles founded to fight the enemies of Christendom - particularly the Ottoman Empire - and by taking the name Dracul Vlad proudly proclaimed himself as a member of this order. His sons, Radu and his two older brothers Vlad (later to be remembered as Vlad the Impaler) and Mircea, were consequently called Dracula meaning ‘Son of the Dragon’.

So, Radu’s early years were spent as a young Christian prince of a rather volatile country. However, Radu did not spend long in his Romanian homeland as by 1444 he, and his older brother Vlad, had been sent to the Ottoman court of Sultan Murad II as hostages.

The ruins of the Fortress of Eğrigöz in north-western Anatolia where Radu and Vlad spent their first few years as hostages before being relocated to the Ottoman capital at Edirne.

As hostages, the brothers were meant to ensure the loyalty of their father to the Ottoman Sultan and stop him from teaming up with Hungary in anti-Ottoman crusades under the threat that Sultan Murad would execute the boys. However, this did not stop Dracul from quickly betraying the Ottomans and assuming his sons dead (after all he still had his eldest son, Mircea, so Vlad and Radu weren’t that important).[1]

But luckily for Vlad and Radu, Murad had other reasons for keeping the boys alive. Through education and indoctrination he planned to raise the boys as good, loyal - and legitimate - future rulers of Wallachia.[2]

As a result the boys were well treated and educated by the finest tutors available, in logic, the Qu’ran, languages, horse riding, battle – all the necessary skills for great future rulers.

How Radu experienced these years in the Ottoman court is unclear. The general consensus is that whilst Vlad was just straight up not having a good time (often being whipped or beaten for being a bad student), Radu was more adaptive - but the consensus stops there. Depending on who you ask you might be told that he “was a compromiser, consumed by the pleasures of the palace” [3], a victim of Stockholm syndrome and “a weakling and a voluptuary, famous for his beauty” [4]. But others will say that he was an intelligent young man with both military and political promise.

However, a key part of his story that is often repeated, is that he was very good looking hence his nickname “cel Frumos” meaning “the beautiful” in Romanian. He attracted many admirers both male and female. Among them was Murad’s son, the future Sultan Mehmed the Conqueror. Although they had a rough start (their first kiss involved Radu stabbing Mehmed and then hiding up a tree) the two became very close and thanks to this relationship Radu gained much power at the court.[5]

Meanwhile, his relationship with his brother deteriorated and the two developed an intense hatred.[6]

At the end of 1447 the news reached the brothers that their father, Dracul, had been killed and their older brother, Mircea, had been buried alive by the Hungarians.[7] It was now time for Vlad, as the eldest, to take the Wallachian throne under the support of the Ottoman Sultan.

As Vlad left the palace of Edirne for Wallachia it would be more than a decade before he saw his younger brother again. And then it would be on the battlefield…

During this time Murad died and Mehmed took the Ottoman throne in 1451. Radu became a prominent figure in the Ottoman court, converted to Islam and played an important role in Mehmed’s conquest of Constantinople (maybe).[8]

However, his life at the Ottoman court ended in 1461 when Vlad (now Voivode of Wallachia) began actively rebelling against the Ottomans. Mehmed, who was busy trying to become the next Alexander the Great, did not have time for this. What he did have, was a perfect replacement for Vlad in the loyal Radu.

So, in Summer 1462 Radu and Mehmed crossed the Danube with 35,000 Ottoman soldiers against Vlad’s meagre 7-8,000.[9] Despite Vlad’s vicious scorched earth tactics and daring night attacks he stood no chance against the superior Ottoman forces and was forced to flee north. When Radu and Mehmed reached the Wallachian capital of Tărgovişte Vlad was long gone but had left a grisly gift that would earn him his nickname Ţepeş – the Impaler. Along the road to Tărgovişte he had planted a forest of impaled Ottoman soldiers that stretched for kilometres…[10]

A Saxon woodcut (c.1499) of Vlad enjoying a meal with some new garden ornaments. Despite the fact he definitely did impale people it’s worth remembering that a lot of the Saxon publications about him were essentially propaganda so take the image with a grain of salt. 

Despite this horror, Radu took his place on the throne as Voivode Radu III. He ruled Wallachia for eleven years and by 15th century Balkans standards it was almost peaceful.  Although he was supported by the Ottomans he managed to win the respect of the local Wallachian boyars (nobles) and maintain peace with Hungary (the other big regional power). However, his real trouble was with the third Romanian state – Moldavia - where Stephen the Great had come to the throne and was wanting to assert his dominance over the region. Stephen did not like Radu, mostly because of his pro-Turkish stance. In 1465 Stephen took control of the previously Wallachian port city of Chilia. There was a period of relative peace but then from 1470 onwards Radu and Stephen became engaged in a serious of border wars that ended with Stephen defeating Radu on November 18-20th 1473. Stephen marched into the Wallachia capital ready to place his own guy, Basarab Laoită, on the throne and Radu, like his brother before him (minus the forest of impaled people), was forced to flee the city leaving all his treasure, effects, clothing, wife and daughter behind.

Three weeks later Radu returned with Ottoman reinforcements and retook his throne (also his wife and daughter). Over the next year the throne continued to alternate between Basarab backed by Stepehn and Radu backed by the Ottomans until January 1475 when Radu was dethroned for the final time, presumably dying sometime soon after.[11]

The details are unknown but there are three main theories as to what caused his death and sudden absence from the historical record:

a)       He was executed by Stephen the Great who was sick of having to dethrone him.[12]

b)      He died of syphilis, “unloved and unmourned”[13]

c)       He became a vampire[14]

My bets are on c)

-

The story of Radu is a good one. However, it’s also built on a lot of assumptions and blatant falsities that have been spread by academic and popular writers alike. Finding “The Truth” of Radu’s life necessitates a return to primary sources. But, how much of person can we really construct from a smattering of 15th century writings? And how much will we never know?

For answers to these questions and more keep an eye on this page...

 References

[1] Davin Nicolle, Cross & Crescent in the Balkans: The Ottoman Conquest of Southeastern Europe. (Great Britain: Pen & Sword Military, 2010), 153.

[2] M. J. Trow, Vlad the Impaler: In Search of the Real Dracula. (United Kingdom: Sutton Publishing Ltd, 2003), 140.

[3] Romano, Will. ‘Vlad Dracula’s War on the Turks’. Military History; Herndon, October 2003.

[4] Franz Babinger, Mehmed the Conqueror and His Time (Princeton, New Jersey: Princeton University Press, 1978), 207.

[5] Ibid.; Will Romano, “Vlad Dracula’s War on the Turks,” Military History, October 2003.; James Waterson, Dracula’s Wars: Vlad the Impaler and His Rivals. (Gloucestershire: The History Press, 2016) 111.; Radu R. Florescu and Raymond T. McNally. Dracula: Prince of Many Faces. (Boston, United States: Little, Brown and Company, 1989), 56.; Masson, Gemma Masson, “Dracula and the Ottomans,” Womenareboring, 15 March 2018. https://womenareboring.wordpress.com/2018/03/15/4286/.; Shibli Zaman, “How the Muslims killed Dracula.” Worldbulletin, 31 July 2013, https://www.worldbulletin.net/historical-events/how-the-muslims-killed-dracula-h114250.html.

[6] Dion Overtoun, “Radu Cel Frumos: The Queer Brother Nobody Cares Dracula Had,” Frightful/Filthy: The Writing of Dion Overtoun, 28 June 2017, https://dionovertoun.com/2017/06/28/radu-the-queer-brother-nobody-cares-dracula-had/.; Zaman, “How the Muslims killed Dracula.”; Florescu and McNally, Dracula: Prince of Many Faces, 59.

[7] Waterson, Dracula’s Wars, 111.; Florescu and McNally, Dracula: Prince of Many Faces, 56. ; Zaman, “How the Muslims killed Dracula.”; “Radu Cel Frumos,” Project Gutenberg, Acessed 30 September 2019, http://www.self.gutenberg.org/articles/Radu_cel_Frumos.

[8] Matei Cazacu, Dracula. (Boston: Brill, 2011), 51.

[9] Kent, Jasper. The Last Rite: (The Danilov Quintet 5). Random House, 2014.; Zaman, “How the Muslims killed Dracula.”; Masson, “Dracula and the Ottomans.”; Trow, Vlad the Impaler, 139.; “Radu Cel Frumos,” Wikipedia, Accessed 8 October 2019, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Radu_cel_Frumos&oldid=920222947. ; Philippe Lemaire, “Recherches sur le vampire,” Site de Philippe Lemaire, auteur de fantastique, Accessed 30 September 2019, https://sites.google.com/site/philip63lemaire/recherches-sur-le-vampire.; “Radu Cel Frumos.”  ; Elest Ali, “Is “Dracula Untold” An Islamophobic Movie?” The New Republic, 25 October 2014, https://newrepublic.com/article/119991/dracula-untold-islamophobic.; Beyaz Arif Akbas, “Kim Bu Güzel Radu?” Milliyet Blog, Accessed 9 October 2019, http://blog.milliyet.com.tr/kim-bu-guzel-radu-/Blog/?BlogNo=402166.

[10] For a detailed explanation of the numbers involved in this campaign see - Adrian Gheorghe, “Understanding the Ottoman Campaign in Wallachia in the Summer of 1462. Numbers, Limits, Manoeuvres and Meanings,” in Vlad Der Pfähler – Dracula Tyrann Oder Volkstribun?, ed. Thomas Bohn (Wiesbaden: Harrassowitz, 2017), 11.

[11] Ibid, 30.;

[12] Franz Babinger, Mehmed the Conqueror and His Time (Princeton, New Jersey: Princeton University Press, 1978), 339.; Tasin Gemil, Romanians and Ottomans in the XIVth to the XVIth Centuries, (Bucharest: Editura Enciclopedicã, 2009), 203.; Jonathan Eagles, “The Reign, Culture and Legacy of Ştefan Cel Mare, Voivode of Moldova: A Case Study of Ethnosymbolism in the Romanian Societies,” (University College London, 2011), 13.; Liviu Pilat and Ovidiu Cristea, The Ottoman Threat and Crusading on the Eastern Border of Christendom During the 15th Century. (Boston, United States: Brill, 2017), 143 – 145.

[13] Kurt W. Treptow, Vlad III Dracula The Life and Times of the Historical Dracula, (Oxford: The Center for Romanian Studies, 2000), 159.

[14] Trow, Vlad the Impaler, 208.; Waterson Dracula’s Wars, 184.

[15] Lemaire, “Recherches sur le Vampire.”

[theewrites-tf2]

(Kudos to @teamfortressaswell for the idea, OC REVIVAL FOR 2020!!!)

OC information of Theewrites, ENJOY Y’ALL!

WARNING: LONG, LOOOOOONG POST AHEAD! (And I info-dump alot, so be prepared for some heavy reading material)

(Also, not all of these backstories/OC canon’s are set in stone, and i’m still doing research on their respective characterizations/lifestyles/ect. they’re still in the editing/drafting process, but these are the basics of some of my older OC’s that you may know… and some of my NEW Oc’s that you may NOT know…. Yet, Mwhahaha!)

Regine: Eldest abandoned & disowned daughter of the RED Spy. Born in Marseilles, France, Parisian-raised until five years of age. Vanished suddenly for nearly a decade, resurfaced in Japan as an assassin prodigy at fifteen. Is totally not soft on her half-siblings, but is totally soft on her half-siblings. Cool, regal and calculated, plans to have the world in the palm of her hand before she hits 30. Long-time girlfriend of Matthias, identifies as pan. Has lost her temper one (1) time in her lifetime, immediately went to reapply lipstick afterwards like nothing happened. Definitely has night-terrors about her childhood, doesn’t discuss them with Matthias, and absolutely takes those nightmares to the grave.

Matthias: Unauthorized clone of the RED Medic, is physically near-identical to him with only minor changes and a stark age-reduction. Has considered bleaching/dying his hair to look more different than his predecessor. Expert in human biology and chemistry, experimented with his own blood cells so to transform them into a more… internal version of the components of the Medi-Gun, so as not to carry around clunky equipment. Is the low-key tired dad of the group. Probably designate roadtrips with the squad and immediately regrets it. Romantic-dork for his girl,  Best Supporting Boyfriend 197X.

Emma: Daughter of Ex-MannCo employee, Julia V. Henry and [REDACTED]. Legal goddaughter of Dell Congher. Child-genius, though deep-seated anger issues since childhood, potentially as a behavior coping tragedy. Built her first plane with her bare hands at twelve, can dismantle and rebuild a shotgun in exactly 63 seconds. Doesn’t wear helmets on motorcycle. Feels happiest flying in the air, alone. Absolutely, 100% adores kids, and will never admit it. Can’t go more than a minute without cursing. Also, though not information she shares immediately, she’s an elder twin. And she doesn’t like talking about it, so it’s best not to push her luck on the details.

Lui: Ultimate flower/pastel lesbian. Fluent in Japanese and English, though prefers her mother’s language, Hawaiian. Brings snacks to battle, often rehearses her battle catchphrases the night before. Makes friends with every animal she meets, owns a duck named Bartholomew. Reads teen fashion magazines, draws hearts around models she crushes on. Almost everything she owns has pink, no matter what shade, including her rocket launcher. Shares Emma’s love of the sky, is basically Emma’s favorite person. Infectious genuine smile, and will sing along to every new bop on the radio.

Tamela: The eldest out of the entire group, born in Nigeria, doesn’t know her parents. Considers her squad her family, Emma and Lui are her baby sisters, who can MORE than handle themselves but she still worries. Was gifted with abilities of fire-manipulation/telekinesis and heat resistance at a young age. Entire body, from knuckles to toes, is covered in jet-black flame tattoos. Demisexual, has not been in a romantic relationship as of yet, likely to change. Improvo leader, often first into battle and last to leave. Looks imposing and intense at first glance, is actually very warm (haha) and friendly personality-wise, but has a serious streak from having to grow up quickly.

Denny: Mute from birth, youngest of the group. Has never missed a shot in his life, expert target-shooter and excellent sniping protege. Definitely idolizes Annie Oakley, dressed up as her one year for Halloween.  Often corrects Emma’s sign-language, but appreciates her efforts. Like Tamela, see’s the group as his family, sticking together through thick and thin. Likes to hike, but also enjoys reading, keeping a raggy, decades-old copy of Sherlock Holmes in his knapsack, right next to his additional ammo.

Ricardo: Born Rosetta, the youngest of a fairly well-off hotel-chain family business throughout Tijuana, Mexico. Was often the forgotten one and left to his own devices, so he practiced running, dreaming of being an Olympic runner. Became Ricardo at 15, traveled to the US a year later. A bit boastful and chatty, though is often last to get a joke. Had a crush on Lui for sometime, before reconnecting with an old schoolmate, Maria, who he plans to move back to Mexico with after his job is done. Hasn’t given up on the dreams of the Olympics, often wakes up long before the sun rises to run laps around.

Sigríður Anja Dis Jóhannsson, or just Sig: Operational MannCo. Shipment Specialist Expert, has been on the payroll for only the last decade, but has become invaluable with the knowledge she has. Born in Iceland, has traveled the world on specialized shipment and cargo missions, even in more dangerous missions and item-requests. Has had to play poker for her own life, more than once. Single and childless, though she took care of her half-sisters children when she died suddenly, her niece and nephews now all grown up and located elsewhere. Sig is happy to travel alone on the open seas, though she’s had more than a fair amount of lovers around the world, men and women alike. Looks forward to retirement, hopefully with someone more long-term whose also ready to lean back, put away the balisong and let the kids take care of the damn gravel pit…

Jonathan Marks: Born Jane to wealthy stockbroker located in Manhattan, Jonathan is the promising CEO of Marks Enterprises, an international trading and environmental-studies. As the youngest CEO of his company, he’s expressing interest to making big changes, including looking into MannCo, hoping to form a co-ownership or eventually takeover, mostly for the sake of his own company, but the fact that MannCo seems to have a few secrets in the closet that seem suspicious… Jonathan knows Regine from childhood, as they both attended the same private school in Japan, prior to Jonathan’s transition. Very book-smart, often tries to lead by example, he’s persistent with getting a meeting with representatives of MannCo, growing more suspicious as time goes on with dodged replies, forcing him to contact a current employee for an opportunity of a private tour of their facilities, one Miss. Binyamin-M’laney

Angelita de los Reyes: Second-generation of Cuban immigrants, Angelita was considered one of the kindest, sweetest people while in school in New Jersey, unfortunately, her studies were often halted as she suffers from CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) leaving her exhausted before noon often times, though she managed to graduate with a specialty in painting. Though she turned mostly house-ridden after high school, she honestly enjoys spending her day painting and creating art to decorate the family-restaurant downstairs, and also sending her artwork to commissioners all over the state. It also gives her time to send plenty of letters to one of her oldest and closest friends from high-school. He was VERY much higher than her in energy, and could literally run blocks in minutes, but they practically grew up together, at least until he moved to New Mexico for work… Though, strangely enough, Angelita doesn’t get much information about Eric’s company Builders League United, even though he has a whole CONTRACT with them… Hm. How odd.

Sarai Binyamin-M’laney: Born in Tel Aviv as a Mizrahi Jewish woman, her parents sent her to vacation in California when she was six, in which they died suddenly, leaving her overseas with her relatives in Cambria, California. Book-smart and a lover of the beach and surfing, Sarai was popular throughout her younger years, especially with the ladies. Though she identified as bisexual, it wasn’t until she graduated college with a degree in human relations and psychology that she had her first, though admittedly short-lived relationship with an unnamed man in Vegas, returning to Cambria shortly after and finding out she was pregnant. A year later, Sarai suddenly expressed interest in the minute human-resources division in MannCo, relocating to New Mexico shortly after her employment. Quiet, smart and with a very private personal life, she was a perfect, though secretive employee, with a bit of a soft-heart, as seen with how concerned she is for her ‘niece’ and ‘nephew’ back in Cambria, and how quickly she snuck in Mr Marks into the private industries. Her personality, perhaps, is meant to be a more opposing to that of the father of her two children in Cambria. After all, though she lives mere miles from his work location, Sarai has yet to bring herself to walk over and face the red-suited mercenary over in the RED base, whom she still can’t help but remember from their time together in Vegas.

 I told y’all it was long as hell, Also it alludes to my OC-canon, which is INSANELY long and i’d hate to waste more of y’alls time on my stuff Xp

 Anyway, GO REVIVE THE OC COMMUNITY, PEOPLE HAVE SUCH AWESOME OC’S THAT NEED/DESERVE TO BE SHARED AROUND!!!

[2treez]

WARNING: go pee and don't have a mouth full of liquid when you read this

🤣😂

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead

goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

Overview: I had to take my son’s lizard to the vet

Here’s what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

“He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “I’m serious, Dad . Can you help?”

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

“Honey,” I called, “come look at the lizard!”

“Oh, my gosh!” my wife exclaimed. “She’s having babies.”

“What?” my son demanded. “But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!”

I was equally outraged.

“Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn’t want them to reproduce,” I said accusingly to my wife

Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?”she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)

“No, but you were supposed to get two boys!” I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).

“Yeah, Bert and Ernie!” my son agreed.

“Well, it’s just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know,” she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

“Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience,” I announced. “We’re about to witness the miracle of birth..”

“Oh, gross!” they shrieked

“Well, isn’t THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?” my wife wanted to know.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

“We don’t appear to be making much progress,” I noted.

“It’s breech,” my wife whispered, horrified.

“Do something, Dad!” my son urged.

“Okay, okay.” Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

“Should I call 911?” my eldest daughter wanted to know.

“Maybe they could talk us through the trauma.”

“Let’s get Ernie to the vet,” I said grimly.. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.

“Breathe, Ernie, breathe,” he urged.

“I don’t think lizards do Lamaze,” his mother noted to him.

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

“What do you think, Doc, a C-section?” I suggested scientifically.

“Oh, very interesting,” he murmured. “Mr. and Mrs.. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?”

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

“Is Ernie going to be okay?” my wife asked.

“Oh, perfectly,” the vet assured us. ‘This lizard is not in labor.. In fact, that isn’t EVER going to happen. . .Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back.” He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

“So, Ernie’s just . just . . . excited,” my wife offered.

“Exactly,” the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

“What’s so funny?” I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. ‘”t’s just .that . .I’m picturing you pulling on its . … . its. . . teeny little . . ”

She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

“That’s enough,” I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car.. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

“I know Ernie’s really thankful for what you did, Dad.” he told me.

“Oh, you have NO idea,” my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140.

One cage: $50.

Trip to the vet: $30.

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard’s winkie: Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.

Lizards lay eggs!

[polygamyff]

4.

Listening to my dad just talk on and on and on, he lives the sound of his own voice. He wants things to be his own ideas but I am sorry old man his ideas are useless, nobody wants what he wants anymore “are you done?” looking up at him “I wish you wouldn’t get cheeky with me, I do try” try he says “ok, listen to me. I want to ask you something, it’s playing on my mind. I don’t know how you sleep at night. You may class your first born as your eldest son but I do, I have an older brother. What’s his name?” my dad slammed his pen down “I didn’t want you to go out search for him, leave it as it is. He is no use to us, he lives just fine. You will see it. Go Germany” he’s a real asshole “I will, what’s his name huh? You wanted me to know, I ain’t say shit to your other kids. Do you have any pictures of him?” my dad sat back in his chair “why would I? He is useless to me, I needed normals kids, he just wanted loving and I can’t give that. His name is Adam Davenport, he lives with his mom and they live well ok? Now stop” shaking my head “nah, I won’t stop. I would like to see my oldest brother, you’re one sick man you do know that right? Even if my first born has issues I will love it, I didn’t grow up with love but somehow I bought myself up to love. You gonna die and people are going to be happy you gone, that ain’t no legacy. I am sure you felt the same way with your dad” getting up from the chair “none of you or mom bought me up, I did it myself. Shamefully I lost my mind when I was twenty because you know I had drugs on my lap, I could get anything. Thank you for getting me back together so I can be better person but now I ain’t making that mistake again, I just hope you can change because you don’t have much time to live” I am surprised my dad ain’t trying to beat my ass, but then again he is getting old and maybe he regrets things.

Closing the office door “upsetting your dad again?” my mom said as she walked towards me “when do I ever upset that man? I barely said a word to him, just the truth” my mom is sly too, she knew about this “so uhm, Adam Davenport” my mom sighed out “so you knew but you let him do it, you never ever as a woman said let my eldest brother be with us? He has down syndrome who fucking cares, y’all weak as shit” my mom glared at me in anger “it makes it worse because you knew, I need to buy a new place. I can’t stand to see any of you” my mom clasped her hands together “you have to understand this family, it’s not rainbows and butterflies. You can’t have feelings, it’s all about having an heir. This is what we are waiting for with you” I wanted to laugh, Naomi can’t give shit “I am telling you now, if I have a daughter. She will be the heir, I don’t care for this male shit bullshit. Just admit you failed as a parent, Malik is where sorry? Oh yeah, Vegas for the fifth time falling asleep in someone’s pussy. You two are never parents, who is chasing him? Nalah, I forgot. You just continue to do your nails ok” they both stupid, money hungry assholes.

I got to leave for New Jersey tonight, I have to overlook the real estate there. Before that I need to get myself a coffee, I am tired “Malik, I was just speaking about you” he is finally home after going missing for a few days “about what?” he looks bad “well you know, didn’t know where you was? Why didn’t you say? I was worried at least” Malik chuckled “I was in Vegas, didn’t know anyone cared” he shrugged “well since being back home I am now seeing you’re never here” Malik pointed at him “actually, why are you here?” rubbing the back of my head “because me and the wife aren’t getting along, I don’t want to live with her. You missed it, her father came along. I made dad lie and say I was away, it’s funny what you can make dad do when you find shit about him” sighing out “but anyways, why don’t you come with me New Jersey? You know, can show you the things how it works. I want you to work?” Malik is lazy as shit, he wants to live the life but not work “you know what brother, you can do this” he walked off like I knew he would.

Staring at the boards at Starbucks, I actually might get a Latte. Stuffing my hands in my pockets, there is always a damn queue in this place. Looking down at the sandwiches, I might get a sandwich actually. I am always on the go, in a week I will never stay the full week in Texas, it is hard to run a whole business. I hate meetings though, my dad is better at that he can talk but me on the other hand can do it but hate it. Picking out the Chicken BLT sandwich, this looks nice actually staring down at it “Maurice?” that voice, my eyebrows knitted together looking up ahead of me “what you mean Maurice? How do you know him?” looking to the side of me and at the table, my eyes widened. Dropping my sandwich to the floor “Bonita? I mean Robyn. What are you doing here?” picking my sandwich back up “uhhh, oh wow Kellen, Tiffany” Kellen squinted his eyes at me, I am speechless the fuck is this set up “I came to see my friend, I have time off from work, you knew this” oh wow, she is so beautiful “ok, what is happening here?” Kellen had to be here “next please” looking ahead of me, it’s my turn, this is so fucked up.

Holy shit she is walking over to me, I never knew I mean I have been very busy for once but I wasn’t ready. Pushing my snapback down further more “I did actually tell you I was coming” Kellen is staring at me so hard “I’ve been busy and my mobile number has changed, like an idiot I dropped it in the toilet. Yes I use my phone in the bathroom, so I got a new one I was going to tell you but this was literally yesterday it happened. Wow, this is happening so quick. I mean I just can’t believe you’re here” I needed to mentally build myself for this and now look at me, stuttering all over the place “well here I am, I got a week off so I came to see Tiffany and then you are here. I didn’t come just for you so you can switch that thought off” my smile grew “well erm, it’s good to see you Bonita” Robyn placed her hand over her mouth giggling “it’s how I imagined” biting my bottom lip, do I hug her. What do I do” I am so awkward “I mean this is the first time meeting, it had to be here. I wish I knew earlier now, I mean do I hug you? That is what people do when they meet right? I mean is this something you wanted to see?” Robyn laughed at me “well you did say you would show me Texas, get your Latte” she pointed out, the person didn’t even say anything “oh yeah” grabbing my Latte to go “and that is what people do when they actually meet you’re right” Robyn walked off back to Kellen, she dresses so good.

I wish this didn’t happen though in front of Kellen “cousin” Kellen said, smiling at Robyn as she sat down “I will give my new mobile number” Robyn pointed at me smiling “well, you are my tour guide” see, this is what I love about her “I am just going to speak to my cousin, be back” Kellen got up from his seat “enjoy your sandwich though” smiling at her, Kellen hit my arm wanting me to go. Stepping outside knowing for a fact what this nigga going to say “ok, what the fuck?” holding my drink out to him “hold it” I want to unlock my car door, Kellen is in shock just staring at me and I know what he wants to say but I don’t want to know “Maurice, nigga. Talk to me” pulling open my car door, grabbing my Latte from him and leaning down into my car and placing it into the holder “I am talking to you, what do you want” moving out of my car and turning to him “how?” he said, I shrugged “how, what? What is it? Come on” Kellen looked at the Starbucks “how do you know Robyn? That’s my friend” licking my top lip looking up at the sky “we spoke” closing my car door, I just didn’t want him to know and now he does.

Sitting on the edge of the car front, taking a bite of my sandwich “spoke? When? I introduced you to her at the wedding and you didn’t care, what is this speaking you’re saying? She knows you’re married” staring at the sandwich, this is good actually “nope, you’re not going to say anything either” looking up at Kellen “why wouldn’t I?” is this nigga dumb “Kellen, I added her on Facebook. Shit just escalated from there, don’t blow this for me. You know my situation and you know I never wanted to marry her, please Kellen. I won’t hurt her, we are just getting to know each other, I think she is nice” my cousin is not happy “but I don’t want her to get hurt, like you said. She is nice, I am a bad friend if I lie. Tiffany will kill me” getting up from my position “does she know I am married?” I asked “no, she ain’t even met Naomi” that is a good thing “Kellen, Naomi is not for me. The marriage is gone, she can’t even have a fucking baby. I am done, just shut your mouth on this. I ain’t ask anything from you but this I am, please” Kellen placed his hands on the top of his head “fine, if you hurt her. She is innocent in this, I will beat you myself. I am lying to my wife here” he can’t kill a fly but I will take it “I won’t, just be blind to it. I honestly like Robyn, nigga look how beautiful she is. That day I had so much on my mind that I couldn’t think, Shawn pushed me to do it and now look. Please let me be happy” I am begging to happy, how sickening is this “Kellen, we going now” Tiffany came from behind him, I don’t know. Something with Robyn that makes me want to smile, staring at her just staring at me “uh yeah, we finish now” I want to dick her so bad.

Robyn looked at my Porsche and then back at me “your car?” she asked, looking behind me “my dad’” I lied, Kellen glared at me “nice car” Kellen walked by me “let’s sit in the car Tiffany, but let me say something to my cousin” Kellen grabbed my arm and dragged me away from them “does she know who you are?” shaking my head “I said hotel manager” Kellen rolled his eyes “Tiffany fucking knows my uncle which is your dad owns these things, you want it to work you tell the truth on that part. She doesn’t know you’re married so that is fine, she won’t ever say anything like that but work wise, tell the truth” he is right, I wasn’t thinking “aight I will” turning around “Bonita!” I spat “Bonita? The fuck?” Kellen walked away in annoyance “come here please” I really need to finish my sandwich off “can we trust him?” Tiffany said before Kellen dragged her away “yeah?” I wish I knew she was here beforehand “we can meet tomorrow, are you staying? Or you leaving?” I should be going New Jersey but that is cancelled now “fine, text me your new number. Rude, didn’t even send me it either” looking down at my sandwiches “you want some?” I offered “no, keep that but text me. We can meet tomorrow and I am staying at a hotel” my eyes lit up “which hotel?” I hope it’s the ones we own “Davenport” I knew it, laughing a loud “what’s funny?” shaking my head “I got to tell you something before you go, I don’t want to seem like a bad guy because I am not. Just the situation I am in, you know when I said I am a hotel manager, that is somewhat true but my family own Davenport hotels, I run these hotels now” Robyn placed her hand over her face “I am sorry for making it out like it was just a hotel, I didn’t want to like scare you away” I probably have now, Robyn looked up at me “I feel a little stupid because, your cousin said about it. I should have put one and one together, I was thinking but then it is still kind of not wrong what you said, we can speak tomorrow if you want” she is so nice, god she is good “for sure, but this, the money. It doesn’t change anything, seriously” she smiled at me walking backwards.

Closing the car door as I got into the car, that was so random. Imagine seeing him here out of all the places in the world, kind of makes sense when he was not answering my texts “don’t be smiling in the back, since fucking when?” Tiffany turned in the front seat to look at me “I am not smiling” waving her off “yes the fuck you are, how? Please explain” rolling my eyes sighing out, looking out of the car window seeing Maurice’ car. I don’t know, he didn’t tell me the truth but I don’t blame him “well” looking back at Tiffany “he added me on Facebook and he was like we met at the wedding and I did remember him, it was really nothing. We just spoke on a level, like friends would. We ended up exchanging numbers, texting ended up being calls and then facetime. I find him funny, at the wedding we didn’t get to really see each other but we just grew close, that kind of person you grow used too” Tiffany gawked at me “but why did you not say anything? To me anyways” I shrugged “I said nothing to Leon either, I don’t know where it will take me. We been meaning to meet and now we have” this is why I didn’t say anything, she all pushy with me “so what do you think to my cousin? He’s got a good heart Robyn, he will do a lot for you” Kellen spoke, frowning at him “we not even together, calm down. I can tell what he is like, he is very kind hearted with me. He understands my line of work, he’s different from what I have dated” Tiffany kissed her teeth at me “you didn’t tell me, ain’t shit ass” Tiffany still hasn’t grown up, still has a tantrum.

“You know his ass is rich, he more rich than Kellen” I knew Tiffany wasn’t staying quiet “I know, I realised I am in the hotel they own. Kellen you ain’t say shit, and you made me pay!?” I just realised this “well I didn’t know, we told you to stay with me but I know now why, you wanted to get dicked down by my cousin, we know!!” I want to slap Kellen but I won’t “that is a lie, you think he likes me?” I can ask these things now “like you? He seems a little taken back by you, and it’s weird because his dad, well my uncle. He never gave him that, see how it goes. When you seeing each other again? He will probably find your hotel room number” I gasped “joking, I am playing. But you feeling my cousin? Didn’t seem it on the day” I shrugged laughing “because it was hectic, I wasn’t looking for a man. I was there for the wedding, he added me. I told you, we just text and it happens. You get used to that person, I just want to see how it goes. If he think he can give me shit I am not having it but he seems like a loving guy, I want that” Tiffany cooed out “daddys girl wants some loving, loving from the D, don’t give me that” it’s always about sex when it’s not, she is stupid.

Kellen’ and Tiffany’ apartment is so cute “so, while Kellen is gone, let’s talk” Tiffany just wants more gossip “we could be cousin in laws, I didn’t know about Maurice. Kellen mentioned it, the thing about this family they are so different. They keep themselves to themselves, you know like my mom goes to your house and we all just do things together. They don’t, it’s like you stay there and I stay here which is weird to me. Kellen said that his father owns all of the hotels, Maurice will get the hotels. It’s weird, you don’t get to know much about them at all. Oh god, you ever seen his sister? Maurice’ sister is a bitch, straight up. Girl, she saw me and Kellen and had the nerve to look away from me. Good luck with that” that is horrible and petty “god, how mean. So she just ignored you, I guess it’s the power of money. They should do better with the money they have, see how it goes. It’s early days, I am open to new beginnings and someone that is in need” Tiffany stared at me dumbfounded “I am into my feelings, you know this. I just feel like Maurice is missing something, he is a good guy so either way we will speak” Tiffany giggled “you so into your feelings I love it, when I told your ex that you are into your feelings and he said how, and then you blurted out because I ain’t even in love that’s why. And you don’t see or feel shit” laughing out loud “stop it, that was so rude. I couldn’t help it” that was so funny, no wonder he left my ass because I was rude.

Watching Kellen and Tiffany argue with each other over cooking, they so cute though. My phone pinged at the side of me, new number which can only mean one person.

From: Maurice

To: Robyn

It’s Maurice, took me time to text. Hope I ain’t like fucked it up. I was shocked to see you, I wish my phone didn’t mess up on me though x

Even a little kiss which is cute of him, I don’t know why he feels as if he messed up because he really hasn’t. It is really not a big lie, he probably felt like I would be with him well speak to him because of money which is not the case. I don’t care for money, money is in my bank so I don’t need that.

To: Maurice

From: Robyn

Don’t even think that, you know me. At your big age you shouldn’t care lol jk, it’s weird seeing you in person. We can meet tomorrow BUT you have to find my hotel room, I will be ready by 12:30pm and if you ain’t here by 1:00pm I am going out. Let’s see if you can impress ;)

I am playing with him which I shouldn’t but we shall see, biting my bottom lip not knowing if to send it or not but I am. This is me, I like to keep them on their toes. My mom is constantly like that with my dad, pressing send on the message giggling to myself “you sent a risky text? This is so weird to me” Kellen said from the kitchen “I will let you know if your cousin succeeds which I am ninety nine percent sure he will” I guess it will be a nice little first meet tomorrow for us.

[beaversatemygrandma]

I keep finding more and more reasons that are pointing me back towards FL once I can drive myself down there. (and if i can fit all my shit into my dang camry)

reason 1: near friends. All my friends are there. And I’ll be living with one of the closest. Solid reason in and of itself. reason 2: not being around family who is slowly becoming painful emotionally to deal with. Yeah, my dad was the better parent growing up, but now there’s a pandemic and he’s on the opposite side and its just getting on my nerves. I have never spent longer than a month with him since i was 8. Now i’m fully aware that he may be a better parent than my mom, but by god... the pandemic shows you some true colors. reason 3: I KNOW People there. Between the time of getting a proper paying job, i could go back to panera bc the managers will know me well enough as the trainer who never got to fully be and i could easily get hired back at like $15/hr no issues. Not like they didn’t pay me $11 before all the economic changes. At least until i can get a better job like phone customer service that pays like $25. reason 4: this neighborhood has definition hostile architecture. I can’t take a damn walk down the street without worrying about that semi truck going 75mph down the street. And the trains.... No sidewalks. Can’t walk around here. Reason 5: me being there with my own place with a friend would lead to my sister having a place to escape from home without needing to rely of her bf who’s literally my age while she’s 17. Not okay. It’s creepy. She can hang out with us instead. Reason 6: I know the town and it’s not intensely crowded like it is here. I’m scared of these roads even in a car. There’s SO MANY PEOPLE. WHY? There’s so much space out here. Why are we all crowded into this cement monstrosity? Reason 7: Have you heard of eldest daughter syndrome? That’s a thing. That’s a very real thing. I’m not a replacement for a mom thanks.

Cons: Being within ten miles of my mom.

And that’s it. The one con. Other than the weather. FL weather sucks but its not like i didn’t deal with that for the past decade. And maybe the political climate bc of the governor being the dickhead he is. But that’s IT.

Then there is the issue of disappointing my dad who never really had much of a chance to spend time with his kids growing up. Yeah, he got my first 8 years. Never got any with the middle child and he’s getting 9+ with the youngest. But with her, she went from having little to no supervision ever since she was able to walk and is definition feral child who cannot be told to do anything without getting a snarky eye-rolling response. And major adhd so she likes to break shit and turn it into other shit. and she’s an absolute handful. And I’m currently bitter i have to watch her all day today bc i didn’t know she had a halfday at school today and burst through the front door like the kool aid man an hour after i woke up scaring the absolute shit out of me.

Also wondering if the fact that i’m kind of neutral on the whole fact of disappointing my dad bc he never had much time, is bc i still don’t understand the value of family bc i’ve never seen any such thing. I don’t get it. Sure, I’ve learned what parents are supposed to be like but i still don’t understand that unconditional love thing. This kid annoys the hell out of me. Yeah, she’s my sister and I’m trying my best to be a close family member to love, but i don’t think i understand non-romantic or non-platonic love. Not sure if this is a mental illness thing or just bc my mom can’t mom and she raised me. 🤔 I’m immune to the guilt tripping now but that also took out the sympathy for others who actually care about family stuff. I don’t understand it and frankly i don’t want to. I also don’t want to be a mom-figure for my youngest sister. So. Yeah. I don’t want kids, i also don’t want your kids. I may need to talk to a therapist about that stuff tbh. But still. More pros than cons. I think my brain is telling me to just do it.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I've been to Wildwood. The Jersey Shore is crazy in general but wildwood is next level. The board walk has like 200 of the same t-shirt store, feels like you're walking through the fires of hell, and is jam packed with kids on camp trips. I've only ever done the board walk there but I've seen the walk you have to take to get out to the beach, it's insane. I can only imagine what it's like with family. How old are your cousins and what are they like?

My family has literally been coming to Wildwood every year since, like, at LEAST the 1930’s, I’m not sure on anyone earlier than that, and my family is insane, so let’s dive into this.

The Main Characters In My Life On Vacation Are:

-My Grandmother, who was a child dancer star (she tapped on the radio!) who’s been coming down here her whole life- her parents used to come down the same day there would be a talent show, enter her in it, and then use her first prize reward for the money they’d spend throughout the week. Has been in the old person stage of “I’m an elder, who cares what I say or do” for the past 15 years. Has eight living kids and Too Many Descendants. Loud and refuses to admit she can’t walk half the time.

- My Mother, who gets confused very easily, overshares and breaks off into meaningless tangents in the middle of stories, snores like a literal demon, always wants to be asleep, keeps pushing for family activities, doesn’t realize all the kids think she’s lame.

- Me, who is always Extra Depressed in the summer months, and is the Sole Person In This Family My Age- everyone just stopped having babies for a few years when my mother decided to have me (Everyone is either over 25 or under 16). Because of this I’m usually confined to my room, unable to really do anything on the boardwalk because going on rides alone is depressing and my mother has heart problems. Just wants to read and write, but the children keep Screaming.

- My Aunt and Her Husband- A Very Loud Couple, she likes to control everything and he’s the only one who ever bothers to yell back at her. They always fight exactly once, every year, and every year somehow I always end up being the only other person in the apartment while its happening, so I just have to sit in awkward silence until my aunt finally huffs out “I can’t believe you’re doing this in front of my goddaughter!” and storms out to go find her kids. They make a lot of jokes and think their children are very dramatic.

- Jenna, the 14 year old cousin. Very dramatic. Mastered the art of the eye roll at a young age. Has literally looked like a mini model since she was born. Can’t be bothered to deal with anyone. We usually have one (1) tiny girl-bonding moment each vacation and then she promptly acts like she doesn’t care even though it’s clear she does. Athletic and artistic and musically/theatrically gifted. Very sarcastic. Always doing cartwheels.

- Seanie, the 12 year old cousin. Middle child syndrome. Tries to hard to be funny for attention. VERY dramatic. Will cry at the drop of a dime (I’m typing this and I literally just heard him burst into tears in the other room??). Super adorable, you can tell he’s gonna be one of those high school boys that pulls Ridiculous Shit but after one charming smile the teachers can’t bring themselves to stay mad. Very loud. Currently addicted to video game youtubers.

-Zack, the 7 year old cousin. Adorable. Loud. Lowkey a prodigy child but they can’t afford to get him into Special Schools so he’s always bored in class. Baby Of The Family syndrome. Currently in an aggressive pokemon phase. Doesn’t understand he’s literally a child, he acts like an old man half the time.

We’re all shoved into a small apartment for a week, but there are Others:

- Kathy, Grandmom’s second oldest. Literally the most bland person I have ever encountered on this planet. Very, very into trying to plan ‘fun’ family events. Thinks any conversation is a riveting conversation.

- Kathy’s husband, who is just a plain old guy who’s lowkey a hoarder and jokes around a lot, but every time someone mentions his past or his family it gets more and more confusing??? He may have a brother who was in the CIA??? He may have been homeless or he may have lived with his sister???? He may have killed a man???? I literally know nothing concrete about this man other than he’s apparently been with my aunt since they were teens but I. D. K. Every new piece of information I receive just scatters the puzzle more.

- Their eldest daughter and her husband spend most of the summer down here but always make sure to match up the schedule for when we come down. Loud, energetic couple. I have no idea what either of them do for work? They might currently be unemployed? Really into alcohol. At some point in the week every year, everyone in my apartment bonds together to diss them after we get back from the beach. Like, they’ll do something or another EVERY YEAR that sets EVERYONE off.

- The 16 year old. Tries to show everyone memes on his phone. Never really talks to people. Does NOT get along with his parents because he’s kinda an outlier in the family. I feel like he might be a stoner, but if I find out he’s got a hidden gun collection, I wouldn’t be surprised? That probably sounds awful but he’s a good kid I promise.

- Danny, 12. Adorable. Quiet. Mini golden boy. Makes jokes when you aren’t expecting them. Very resigned to the fact he has to hug me and my mother when he sees us.

- Kathy and Mystery Man’s youngest daughter, a librarian, and her stand up comedian husband, and now their three month old who is ADORABLE and everyone was surprised to learn they hadn’t named her Hermione.

Other recurring family members are prone to popping up throughout the vacation- Aunt Margie, Grandmom’s sister-in-law, who, I love her, but remember that chocolate episode of spongebob with the old woman that was essentially a stick in a wheelchair and had a chain smoker voice??? Put that in the tiniest bikini you can imagine and add a wheezing laugh and you got her. Her daughter who I could not recognize on a street if I tried. Her son Michael, who is best friends with my mom and apparently Not Gay (no one’s really convinced). A step-cousin sometimes pops by, she’s very breezy and easy-going and you can’t distinguish her Actual Talking Voice with her Talking To Little Kids Voice.

Anyway, Wildwood itself is just. Goddamn ridiculous.

The aesthetic of this place is somewhere between the 1950’s, a trailer park, and the kind of developed land you get when a moustache-twirling man wants to convince all the old people he can to retire to his buildings. Some buildings are harsh metal, and others are bright pastels, but the only thing joining them together is the fact that it looks like no one has cleaned anything here in years. EVERYTHING, even the knew stuff, looks worn and faded. Even like…the AIR is faded. It’s not just the sun being too bright, everything you’re looking at looks like it’s an old photograph. If you stay too long, you might start to fade into the landscape yourself.

I have never once seen an animal that wasn’t a seagull here. Most towns, islands, places, whatever- you usually have at least squirrels running around, maybe some variations of birds, just. ANYTHING. But it’s all seagulls all the time. You cannot exist in a spot for longer than a few moments without one of them dive bombing you. They are not mere birds. They are feathered demons that Hath No Fear Of The Foolish Mortals Of Mankind.

The song “Wildwood Days” plays on the Boardwalk every half hour. It is the only way to appease the spirits. It’s the modern, New Jersey-ian version of painting lamb blood over your door frame. As much as I’ve grown to hate the song, to twitch and clench my fist at each note, I deeply fear for the day the song doesn’t play on time and the curse is unleashed. I have a deep, sinking feeling that this moment will come within my life time.

If You Don’t Stop To Watch The Fireworks, Your Bones Shall Never Be Found.

You hear the ongoing chant of “Watch the Tram Car, Please!”, and look around, but there isn’t a Tram Car coming. The order grows louder and louder. You realize you aren’t even on the Boardwalk any more. The sound is right behind you, but you can’t find the source. “Watch the Tram Car, Please!” you realize, to your horror, the sound is now coming from inside you. You never find your true voice again.

Despite The Fact That This Place Is A Mosh Pit Of Families From All Over The World, If You Can’t Immediately Place My Accent Or Figure Out What Language I’m Speaking, I Have Legal Grounds To Kill You.

The sand simply isn’t normal. It’s ADVANCED sand. It doesn’t make sense. It never truly washes off. The more you scrub, the more appears.

Ancient gods from multiple pantheons like to chill out on the beach, have a few beers. You never know for sure who is who, but you Know they aren’t the same as you, and you know they know more about you than you’re comfortable with. For your own sake, NEVER ask them to turn their music down.

There is always at least one plane flying over with a sign reading “Jen, will you marry Sean?”. It’s been decades. Will Jen ever say yes?

Elevators Are For The Weak And We Use Them To Judge Who To Do Away With First.

The ocean goes back and forth between green and grey, and you know the color makes a significant difference but you can never quite put your finger on what.

Fish Are Fake.

All the stores sell everything you want, but nothing you need.

King Kong Is Our Fierce Protector, Loving Hero, And Just Enforcer

All the police officers and firemen and general ‘in charge’ jobs seemed to be run completely by 18 years olds

No one truly knows who pulls the shots when it comes to deciding the Boardwalks style each year. Every store sells the same Designated Style, and each year they make less and less sense. You buy a specialized hoodie anyway, and you have no idea why.

I could keep going on with that list, but the point is, Wildwood is a Strange Place and I have a Ridiculous Family, so every year is always a bit of an experience.

Like, no one in my family really has anything in common other than everyone’s always loud and everyone’s always right and everyone is always ready to loudly fight over the fact that they’re definitely right, but like. Imagine crawling through some Hillbilly Murder Showers in the garage of a condo, using all of your force to pry open a suspiciously heavy and questionably mechanized door, walking under the boardwalk and trekking over sand dunes just to find a bunch of screaming yet physically relaxed people under the flag for Montserrat. Some guy’s cracking stand up jokes while no less than three children are fighting each other, your mother is promising for the 14th year in a row that you’re gonna go on a whale watching trip and everyone knows she’s lying, some woman’s trying to hold a conversation about buying applesauce in bulk while her husband and children get drunk, there’s a skinny pale guy with horrible sunburn blasting songs from N.W.A., a girl’s cartwheeling around the site to the point you think she doesn’t know how to move any other way, a boy’s quietly drinking pickle juice, there’s a 7 year old literally trapped in a giant hole that he dug, your mother is snoring loud enough to alarm the people around you, and just when you’re starting to get a little comfortable about the feathered demons and start to relax, a tide comes in so strongly your chair literally starts getting pulled out to sea with you in in. It’s average. It's fading into the landscape with the rest of the place.

[ivbenjaminart]

LEGACIES - Agent Lex Argentum 

Entry 4 - The Provocateur] <File encryption level: Black> <Security protocols enacted> I have decided to make this entry classified eyes only. I fear I may not be able to remain objective as I report on this man. I must succeed in my mission to bring these individuals to justice, therefore, for the sake of the integrity of the investigation, this profile will remain private. While House Fratrem is arguably the most powerful of the High Houses in the hierarchy, House Argentum is easily the largest. Extended family aside, the current generation consists of both the Lord Bellator and Lady Dulcia Argent and a total of nine children--one of which, Lacuna, sits at the Black Table of the Inquisition, and two, Fortuno and Tacenda, are Obscura and thus serve the Imperial Security Agency. Their control of the Imperium’s finances should grant them a troubling amount of sway in matters of the empire--however, this is (thankfully) counterbalanced by our majesty, the Primarch Ursor Nox, as well as the combined strength of the voices behind High Houses Tempus, Dominus, Mortis, and Aurum. Even High House Fratrem, for the sake of its dominating position in the Hierarchy, also has a stake in keeping the bankers at bay. After all, you cannot defend your coin without a military or fund your military without coin. This is all to say that House Argentum has a reputation and not a particularly favourable one. Given their enormous contribution to the Imperium, however, and the fact that their eldest daughter sits at the Black Table, it would be impossible to ever remove them of their rank. As a lowborn man from a family of middle rank officers in Ordo Militaris ...I cannot help but wonder at the mind that devised the Office of the Inquisition. Did they create it with this loophole in mind? Plant a son or daughter at the Table making a unanimous vote to remove your House from power impossible? This reputation, however, is more troubling than just being an attention seeking throng of braggarts and sycophants that line their wine goblets with gemstones. It begins with knowing that they had a third child born an Obscura--the subject of this profile--Lex Argentum. My initial investigation began with the Schola Obscura--the academy that all Obscura attend for their training prior to becoming Agents of the ISA. Similar to the Citadel where Inquisition hopefuls receive instruction. His earliest records at the Schola Obscura show enlistment at age ten, which was automatically a red flag. It is common knowledge that all Obscura are enlisted at age five. My authority granted me access to several sealed medical documents that shed a rather disturbing light on the cause. Lex was born with a crippling condition called Servants’ Syndrome. The condition itself is extremely rare, affecting less than one in five million and never before someone from a highborn family. It earned its name as those with it are born with underdeveloped legs typically from the knee down and as such, were they to try and stand, would always be kneeling. In some severe cases, those with Servants’ Syndrome will also have a weakened skeletal structure where even breathing can cause fractures. Even a cursory study of his medical records made it clear that Lex’s case was, indeed, severe. A fact I...did not know. Further investigation into his medical condition shows that all of his post-delivery care was performed in home and by a private physician whose name had been redacted from all records (I was able to confirm their identity, but it is of little importance in the grand scheme of things). In attempt to track his progression with Servants’ Syndrome I tried to cross reference public appearances of the Argentum family between 760 and 765 AE. All eight of his siblings (of which, he is the youngest) had countless records of public appearance at official events and even popular social gatherings but there were none to be found of Lex. I then checked written records around the time and curiously found no mention of him, either. It was as if he did not exist at all. Combined with information surrounding his late enlistment into the Schola Obscura...I was able to deduce a horrible truth. Lex had been a prisoner of his home. For ten years...save for the confidential medical records I was able to uncover...there is not one iota of proof that he had ever been born. What did they have to gain from this? Were they afraid that having a sickly child would reflect on the strength of their House? Were they ashamed he was afflicted with a lowborn illness? Was it all for the sake of their reputation? He never told me any this. I can’t imagine… I...will return to this report at a later time. <End data entry> <Begin amended log> <File encryption level: Black> <Security protocols enacted> The Schola Obscura’s database indicates that Lex Argentum was enlisted at the age of ten. Were it not for the situation at hand I would not have access this information, but emergency powers have been granted to my office and I was thus able to confirm that he was not enlisted by his family but by the High Legatus himself, Felix Aurum. This leads me to believe that the High Legatus must have learned of the boy’s existence somehow and his classification as an Obscura. I have my suspicions as to how--there was an outbound call made from an Arc Link terminal within House Argentum’s manor two solans before his enlistment. Either Lex or his caretaker saw the wrong being done unto him and decided the unquestionable authority of an Agent was needed to save him. To think I would ever be thankful the left hand of the Primarch were above the law... Medical records indicate that he underwent the only known procedure to, not cure, but counteract Servants’ Syndrome--a procedure with an impossibly low success rate. His legs were both replaced with cybernetic prosthesis and his entire skeletal structure was rebuilt with synthetic bones. Miraculously he survived--though I am not a medical professional I can only assume it is the enhanced healing of the Obscura that allowed him to live through the ordeal. After his recovery, his initial tests at the Schola Obscura yielded surprising results in regards to the potency of his abilities. It leads me to believe that he must have attempted to hone his psionic gifts while hidden away in his home. It appears that, shortly after this, he was introduced to House Fratrem’s Obscura son, Lance, with whom he formed a fast friendship with. The two were apparent trouble for their superiors at the Academy--which was only compounded after the arrival of Carcer three years later. His time spent at the Schola Obscura was worthy of note only in the efficiency in which he performed (note: see, also, files on the boys’ involvement in Project Deadzone. Why was my office never informed of this?). Upon graduation he remained with Lance and Carcer and was joined by Silva, his former Magister. He began serving as their pilot and link-breaker (in layman's, an individual with technical expertise who utilizes exploits within electronic systems to break into them) and did so up until Division IV’s betrayal. He remains with them now. I respected Silva. Her service to the Throne was admirable, despite being an Agent. I never cared for Carcer or Lance. But Lex...I must be honest with myself when I say that his betrayal is not unlike feeling a tear in my soul. Should such things exist. It is my only regret that he does not know what his actions have done...and that, now that he has become an enemy of the empire I swore to protect, he never will. I will bring him and the others to justice, regardless of how deeply it pains my heart. It is my duty as an Inquisitor. --Inquisitor Apollo Trevellus