#he is having a talk with a creature who does not understand a damn thing he is saying

[mossy-box]

A very small (haha small..) self indulgent comic thingy I did.

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Constantine Is Having Fae Problems

Not as in 'problems with the fae', but as in 'the Batfam don't understand shit about fae and it is somehow Constantine's problem'

"Thank you."

Whatever thoughts Constantine had before come to a screeching halt. He slowly turns around, praying he's misheard, but, unfortunately, no. He heard that right.

The black-haired kid - he looks like a kid, but, really, he is not, and he is not even human to begin with - is smiling at Nightwing, who just laughs and ruffles the boy's hair.

"Don't worry about it, it's nothing," the moronic eldest batkid says, like it's not a big deal, and Constantine just... can't. He is not dealing with this right now. He needs a drink.

And then it happens again. Not with the Nightwing, though. This time, it's Black Bat. Now, in all honesty, Constantine is not so sure about her being human either, what with her appearing out of goddamn aether and being silent as a ghost, but the point still stands. The new addition to Bat's menagerie of children, the fae boy, the changeling who insists he is Robin's brother, thanks her.

It's quick and easy, just like a human would say it, and Black Bat just nods back at him, but Constantine knows what it means. He knows the weight of fae gratitude.

The big question is, do the Bats know it?

He promises himself to address this issue later with the Big Bat himself. But every time he encounters the man, he just forgets to bring it up. Constantine strongly suspects it's not his bad memory at fault here, but a certain fae. Not that he is going to outright go and blame the damned creature, of course, Constantine values his life, mind, and consciousness. Also, he is very aware of the consequences of talking to the fae, unlike the furry brigade.

Alas, he can't forget something if he witnesses with his own eyes. So the next time he is in the Batcave, he makes it a point to wait until the same thing eventually happens. And, score for Constantine, it does.

"Thank you," the kid - again, not a kid, not a human, but whatever - tells Red Robin, and Constantine immediately snaps his head to him, pointing a finger at the smiling fae.

"I mean no disrespect, but what are you doing?"

The kid - Danny, as he insists to be called, although Constantine knows better than to call a fae by any name - tilts his head to the side. He looks confused, but there's a sly glint to his blue eyes. Oh, the fucker knows exactly what he means. He just doesn't want to admit to it.

"What do you mean?" It's not him, but Red Robin asking, and Constantine turns to look him in the eyes. Mask. Whatever.

"He is thanking-" a terrible thought crosses Constantine's mind, and he stares at Red Robin with horror, "Oh, don't tell me you were all thanking him and apologizing to him like he is a human being."

"I don't see how this is your business," Red Robin scolds, and his eyes narrow. Constantine can't see his actual eyes through the mask, but he knows the Bats well enough to know the kid looks as deadpan as he can.

"You can't do that!" He reaches down to the pocket where he keeps his cigarettes, but stops halfway. Right, no smoking in the Batcave. Wait, he never obeyed that rule! Constantine turns to glare at the fae boy. Danny appears as innocent as a newborn baby. Little bastard.

"Quit making a scene," comes another voice, and this one John recognizes, turning to look at little Robin. Now that he thinks about it, the demonic child claimed the fae as his brother, and he definitely should know how to talk to fae!

"Why didn't you tell them about the rules?!" He asks Robin, and the kid doesn't even bat an eye at him.

"You will not accuse me of incompetence in front of my brother," Robin huffs, not stepping closer and keeping one hand on his hip, "I did."

"You-"

"Okay, how about you calm down?" Danny interjects, and John is positive this is the first time he's heard the boy say anything other than 'thank you'. He turns to the fae, facing him, and, oh, Jesus, those are not human eyes. Or teeth. Or face. Holy fuck how do Bats live with this, it's like uncanny valley but hundreds times worse.

"If I tell you I use it for easier access, will you leave it be?" The fae tilts his head again, and this time it is not in confusion, but in the eerie manner of how all very much not human beings do it. Constantine swallows, but doesn't back down.

"Access to what, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Transportation," Danny provides. This does not explain shit and he knows it. Red Robin groans and rolls his eyes.

"We use it to summon Danny if we need him. It's faster than calling or texting."

Constantine freezes.

These fucking kids. Are using the fae debts. To summon him. Because they don't like texting.

Do they know that they can literally ask a fae to destroy a small country to fulfill a debt like that? It's not just a small favor, it's a gratitude. Fae take their gratitude very seriously. They value it. A lot.

Actually, you know what, no. John is not going to be explaining that part to them because God knows the batkids are all batshit crazy and this is an opportunity he is not willing to give them.

So he just nods stiffly, turns around, and heads to the zeta tube.

"Thank you for caring about my family," he hears a voice behind him, full of mischief and joy. Constantine feels the weight of the newly acquired debt, or better call it a favor, bind itself to his soul, and, great, he now has the power to part the sea like Moses, but only once.

He needs a drink. No, correction, he needs a whole bar to himself.

Wait, that's an idea.

"Get me a bottle of good bourbon, and we're even," he throws around his shoulder, stepping into a zeta tube.

When he steps out of it, there's an unlabeled bottle in his hand. John sighs and opens it, foregoing the glass or cup and drinking straight from the neck.

...It's good bourbon.

Inspired by @blackfoxsposts

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[faultedloyalty]

The speed in which he has to turn his amusement into faux-apology cannot be understated; though the way in which the young man’s reactions serve only to further bring him closer to something like elation cannot be, either! Perhaps it’s merely his age, but from their severity to their depths, he finds that his baser urges to toy with those lesser than himself are growing. They are, of course, overwhelmingly easy to keep at bay—he has practiced, he has lived, too long to be any other way—but the fact that he has to acknowledge them at all on his own is exceedingly rare.

Not that he is one to ignore his own whims, either, however.

“So many apologies you need not make; truly, just what kind of butler am I?” Another melodramatic sigh, another shake of his head, follows in the wake of his own bastard-conceived plot and results. “Though I must apologize once more, myself, for inadvertently insulting your acquaintances.” For if they are neither friends nor anyone he considers worthy of such a word... “I meant no harm, of course, but I fear I spoke too impulsively. Such is a failing of my own, unfortunately—

“I must admit that I do take heart in knowing you bear confidence-enough to correct me, however.”

For that, too, was amusing in and of itself—despite the irresolute clamber in which young Daisuke speaks his words, the fact that he speaks them at all is enough to make him want to chuckle. Companionship was of no use to himself, but the lengths in which those who find it so go to have others speak no ill-will of them, even when it was unsure, served to interestingly confuse him always.

“It is quite clear that they are of great import to you,” he continues on easily, belying his thoughts, “in spite of how little you know of them personally. Does not speaking of them in such a way also speak in turn, however, not just to their skills but to what skills they have imparted to you, as well?”

Even if mere beginner-work from another teenager, knowledge would forever be knowledge; “To gain any sort of understanding over the simplest of details is enough to learn the complex natures of this world, after all. One might argue that this is needed to do so, as what one might think of as a basis—though I dare not do so in my position, of course.”

(His position for the moment, at least, but there was little need to fret over frivolous details such as those, right then. He merely needs them known, still.)

“Special qualities or lack thereof aside, as well—and so long as I am permitted to say so—at the very least I find myself thrilled to find your art of quite the noticeable talent, already.”

And there he goes to demonstrate—flipping through pages quickly, though keeping a thumb on the one he had scribbled on himself, with that self-satisfied smile! He doesn’t go far, and he isn’t even looking at it, but even this serves more to try for a reaction than anything else!

“It is clear that you don’t lack an eye for details,” he speaks as the pages turn, as casually as if he were discussing the weather, “and neither is there lack of intent behind your work! Really, this is more than enough to warrant an impart of your knowledge to myself, as the less-experienced artist, but I suppose...”

Just as quickly as he’d begun flipping through pages does he close them back up, keeping only the one he’d utilized himself open for the book’s owner to see. In the same breath, he holds it back out for the young man; silent encouragement that he is to, finally, take his own look at what Sebastian had done.

“Relieving as it is to hear that my work shan’t be considered by one who is, at heart, ‘really mean’, I do urge you to give your most honest opinion. Shall my skills be lacking, I will endeavour to improve as quickly as I am able.”

Though he can already guess a few ways this is about to go—but he’s curious to see which of them will occur, as well, so there’s no need to continue stalling.

' i-infamy ?! '

the word seems to instantly jolt him . close to hives , his skin prickling , every thin hair on his arm swift to stand up straight on end . a word like infamy ... was really bad , wasn't it ?! ( like horrible , like heinuous , like --- dark . )

' n-no ! it's not like that or anything ! like hiwatari-kun and sagami-sensei , i mean --- er , u-um ... ' would someone like sebastian have been able to recognize any of these names ? arrive , vanish , do everything in a blink and leave nary so much as a single trace behind --- his family had instructed him over and over to be capable of severing any sort of loose strings in the midst of plotted , robbing act .

( why dare to admire his enemies , anyways ? )

was it too simple , too laughable , that just because he wanted to think they were friends ... no , that because he just wanted to somehow be friends them , that he should have therefore made every effort to be kind , and speak up in their defense ? even knowing that they might never have done the same for him , or for his far more rotten , wretched parts .

' t-they're not that bad , i mean ... i don't think infamous is a good word for them ... ' though , maybe and maybe not . before the hikari alone , what other artists played god , to the extent that their creations came to life out of nothing but the meager likes of stone , paint and wax ? man's first golems and homonculi , created in the perverse shape of themselves : both infinitely beautiful and hideous .

their broach of every natural law and order could have lent itself to their infamy , if only what vicious storms of emotion surrounding their works didn't coil about them like the still , untouchable calm of an eye of a storm . and there , braving the cuts and razor , racing edge of the roughest winds , was the black half of the kokuyoku ... what black wings even now remained bound to his body .

' ... i'm sorry . ' trailing away , clutching to himself at his hands , daisuke's will shrinks and relents , wilting meekly beneath the other's blase accusations . certainly , he feels every invisible pressure like a block of lead , hitching his shoulders high in a hopeless defense against what felt like , polite and composed as it was , an adult's chide .

' i don't ... actually know if i'm really friends with any of them . i only sort of know them , so i didn't think anything was that interesting to talk about --- um , hiwatari-kun is the same age as me , and he's the one who comes from a really family . the hikari ? their artworks always end up in museums and stuff , they've been making masterpieces for over four hundred years . i've only really learned a few things about ... um , shadows and circles from him , though ... '

embarrassing basics that anyone , even a toddler should have been able to comprehend .

' sagami-sensei was a sculptor , and someone who won top prizes every year in azumano ... our standards for art are the highest in japan , so it was a big deal when he was going to start teaching part-time . but then he quit right after his practice internship and decided to go back to art --- ' cheeks flush and he laughs ; he doesn't dare to pry at sebastian's turn , deeply curious as he remained to the other's work . ' he was really cool . he always seemed to know what he was doing when he was making art , hiwatari-kun too , i think . i'm not really anything special , especially compared to them ... '

humility blends in warmly with a loitering sense of shame .

' really --- really-really , i don't think i could give you good advice or critiques even if i tried . not to mention , since i was the one who asked you to draw something for me in the first place , if i were to suddenly get all nit-picky or something over it when i probably couldn't do any better , i'd feel ... um , really mean . '

[mirrorcatcreditcard]

Take I haven't seen in the fandom yet:

Luka doesn't want to be freed.

"Now, MirrorCatCreditcard," you may say, "that's nonsense. Any human would want freedom from that system."

If you're thinking I'm gonna convince you that Luka doesn't know he wants freedom yet, you're wrong. I'm here to talk about indoctrination/conditioning, grooming/emotional manipulation, my own experience with those topics, and how all of the above connects with Luka as a character. If a deep dive like this is too much for you, please tap out for your own sake.

Luka's life was planned before he even existed. There has never ever been an alternative option. There is no life for Luka as anything but what Herperu chose. Everything in his life has been planned to have him be the perfect pet human idol. That is what he must be.

Fandom, I don't think most of you actually understand this and have dissected what this means (shout-out to the Luka stans who are getting there/have guessed similar things). These words we know have alternatives and are not set in stone are Luka's "gravity makes rain fall to the earth" and "water makes things wet." They are facts so deeply ingrained within him that even if shown the contrary he remarks that the person showing them is just disillusioned.

Take his commentary on Mizi and Hyun-A in the art book. He looks down on Mizi for not being able to control any of her emotions. How does he talk about Hyun-A? He has her at 70% affection yet shows a patronizing attitude—she's the one in denial at reality.

Now, how did we get here? How is a human so "delusional" and set in the control?

He's been conditioned.

Some of you don't know what I mean by this from experience and/or research, and count yourself fortunate that you don't. I pray you never experience such things firsthand. Don't worry about ignorance. Familiar or not, I will explain.

When you are surrounded by only one truth and reality, that is the way you interpret life. If a parent tells a child "the moon goes to sleep during the day," until the child learns otherwise, that's what they believe. Now take that child-like belief and add some toxic environments to the mix. With time, any other kid would learn that the earth rotates from their peers or adults around them. But if the creatures around them all say and believe the same thing "the moon goes to sleep during the day," then that is what the child continues to believe. Years of that same thing being the only truth make that false knowledge into a fact in the person's head, and everything that supports that fact is taken as truth or on the right path to truth.

"This is kinda silly though," you guys are no doubt murmuring, "All of this is a hypothetical. Give us something that makes sense or that someone could actually see happen in our society."

I'll give you my own experience then. My parents taught me that God is real. My parents taught me that I will be damned I do not follow the commandments of the scriptures. I didn't need to worry though. As long as I was obedient to the God who loved me and wanted what was best, I would be saved despite being born an awful sinful human. I was homeschooled, only interacted with people of similar beliefs, and taught that people too different from me in ideology or with radical beliefs against my own were trying to harm me and my family. I believed the people who raised me because why would people who love me lie to me? My task was simple. I needed to obey God and love everyone, especially them. Love meant giving up my entire being and living only as servant and sacrifice. After all, being selfless to the utmost was the greatest form of love.

Let's go back to Luka. His guardian, Herperu, when questioned about any surprises while training Luka, stated not only that he was the one who endured the "tough moments" but also that "(Luka) owes his success to me, and naturally, he should be grateful." This sentiment is echoed by Luka in his interview (shown on Patreon). My god, it's giving parents with disabled kids who brag on social media about how much trouble their kid is and how much they do for them. Sickening. This shows exactly what environment Luka has lived in though.

When you are manipulated into having something as your reality, everything else is fiction and delusion.

Let's review what exactly is Luka's reality.

Heperu is the one suffering if Luka has any difficulties being obedient.

Gratitude is what Herperu is owed because he goes through so much trouble to make Luka a star.

Love/care is shown by owning another's autonomy.

Emotions and bodily reactions exist, sure, but someone should be able to control them; and if they can't, someone should control those reactions for them.

Segyein are superior and the good ones for dealing with humans. Humans must be disciplined and shaped to how an segyein wants it to act to be considered deserving of this goodness.

(Luka)'s perfection is defined by his guardian.

Luka's life is directly connected to being the perfect performer. His guardian praises his abilities with the statement that no other pet human will ever be as perfect as him yet leaves an underlying threat saying that it will be no good if a pet is not trained properly. This has probably been mentally (if not physically) beaten into Luka's mind: his greatness doesn't stop him from being able to be disposed of. The human instinct to want to live has been explained to him as Heperu's wish for him to live and that has been further distorted as a duty to live for the stage he has been placed on.

Luka believes fully that there is a debt in play here. In his interview, he mentions repaying love. He thinks the relationship between fan and idol is completely normal, encouraged, and healthy. Performance is the most important thing. Being where he is is a privilege.

There's a chain here:

Heperu indoctrinated Luka into believing what he says is all true.

The guardian manipulated him easily to do what he wanted with his body and mind.

The years have been spent constantly conditioning Luka to be the god who encapsulated fantasies for the audience.

He is continually being groomed to exist for the entertainment and enjoyment of segyein.

Circle back to my first point of this post. Luka does not want to be freed. He doesn't know what freedom actually is. He sees freedom as either foolish denials of reality (and doesn't consider that actual freedom) or as controlling the song and stage when he performs (something he learned from Hyuna). He cannot want something he cannot understand. He cannot want freedom in the sense the fandom keeps speaking about.

It's funny. From the moment Luka was revealed to be hated by the fandom, I wanted to know why. Instead of digging and finding horrific deeds, I instead found a character who portrayed my own traumas and experiences. I instantly attached and delved deeply into learning about this thirty year old singer. Why does he express himself in a certain way? Where do we first see mention of him? Who does he have emotions towards? How was he trained? What makes Luka himself? I have past essays/replies to other's theories if you're interested, but in this one I got personal and didn't sugarcoat the facts. If the fandom can't handle deep thought, we shouldn't be discussing this incredibly profound and depth-filled web series.

As always, thank you for your time, and I hope my thoughts allowed you to open your mind to new things. Mostly, I hope you enjoyed them 🫶

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

HIII I LOVE YOUR SEB X READER FIGHTING OVER THE BLACKLIGHT and wanted to request smth similar to it? Mutant!reader still, ( maybe the same as the other fic) who helps the Expendable(s)/MC much more than sebs when explaining how each monsters works (giving more info than sebs) and sebs getting annoyed by it? especially if mutant!reader sort of roams alongside with then expendable(s) and is seen chatting with them (bc maybe mutant reader misses being human?) until sebs pulls reader away to complain abt it (how reader shldnt be so relaxed in this situation)

Aw thank you! I'm happy you liked that one ^^

.........

"So you keep dying to creatures that are classified as an Angler, but none of them are the Angler itself, and he just...refuses to tell you how to avoid them?"

"Um, yeah..pretty much. The file said they were only discovered after the lockdown, so maybe he doesn't know-"

"Oh, he knows damn well how they behave. He's just lazy and expects you to figure it out on your own. Which one got you last time?"

The expendable abruptly stopped in their tracks, trying to recount their most recent untimely demise, while you--one of Urbanshade's mutant experiments--waited for them to gather their thoughts.

You two were just casually walking down one of the blacksite's long corridors....or rather, they were walking and you were slithering.

The only reason they were still alive and didn't have their gear detonated was all thanks to your own little scrambling machine. It was attached to your belt, being a lot easier to carry compared to that massive thing Sebastian lugged around.

You were lucky to find them during the chaotic lockdown, and now you were able to chat with expendables without worrying about HQ finding you and/or killing them for talking to you.

Even though you hated Urbanshade for turning you into this creature, you couldn't hate the folks who were just trying to earn their freedom. You knew nothing of why they were even here in the first place--and quite frankly you didn't care to know. There's no point to it.

You were once a sociable human being, and this was how you could still pretend you were.

Of course, that proved difficult as many expendables would rather run, use the flash beacon, or hide in the nearest locker whenever you showed your face. But you reassured them you mean no harm and just wanted to talk.

After overhearing a few grumble about Sebastian treating them like idiots due to their recent deaths (especially with Wall Dwellers), you took it upon yourself to give them better advice.

Advice that would actually stick with them.

While the documents mostly explained the monsters' behaviors clearly, information on the Angler's variants was severely lacking. That was understandable and something you were more than happy to elaborate on should they ask.

"Oh, I remember now...it was some big..creepy frog thing. It had a lot of teeth."

"Ah, that's Froger. She's different, alright. And a smart girl at that." You chuckled. "I've been watching her movements for a while. Wanna know a secret?"

"Sure...do I need to pay you data or..?"

"No. I don't need that stuff."

"Oh..okay."

"Anyways, you know how frogs like to hop around? Well, she does something similar. She'll pass you by, and then do another sweep of the room because she knows you're there. Then after awhile she'll hop back to wherever you are to catch you off guard. Does that make sense?"

"That...actually does. I did get caught off guard the third time because I thought she was gone. Um..thank you." They smiled a little bit.

"Of course. All you need to do is make sure she passes you thrice, and you'll get to keep your pretty little head." With a tiny smile, you patted the top of their head for encouragement. "Now I have business to attend to. I can't chat for too long, or else-"

"I think you've chatted with them long enough, [y/n]."

Blinking, you saw Sebastian pop his head out through a nearby vent, frowning at you.

"Ah. Why hello, Sebastian." You smiled innocently, tilting your head.

"We have a erm..business meeting, remember?" His eyes shifted to the expendable, who seemed utterly bewildered at his presence outside the shop. "If you'll excuse us."

"Yes, please excuse us...and don't let my advice go to waste!" You hummed, bidding them farewell before following Sebastian into the vent, making sure it closed behind you.

For a few moments more, they stood there in silence.

Until the lights in the room flickered and made them dash to the nearest possible hiding spot.

And of course...it was Froger.

.........

"That's my job, you know."

"Well you kinda suck at it." Flicking your tail, you climbed onto the stack of crates within Sebastian's shop, smirking up at your fellow fish monster. "If you're tired of meeting them in the same place when they die, at least give them better advice."

He just turned to face you, looking almost offended.

"You think Urbanshade is paying me to spoon-feed their expendables every tiny detail?! Should I start making Powerpoints for every damn thing that crawls their way?!" He spat.

"..all I'm saying is that calling them "morons" and "idiots" isn't going to help them get very far."

"And chatting them up isn't going to help us get very far, either." With a small huff, he slithered over to a desk cluttered with documents and other assets previous expendables have delivered to him, sifting through the piles. "We can't let them reach the crystal. Not yet. We need more time."

"Ugh, how much more time do we possibly need?" Taking a small DNA vial, you examined it closely between your fingers, admiring its blue glow. "I can only be your little scavenger fish for so long. This place is bound to run out of data. I say let 'em take the crystal, and while everyone at Urbanshade is distracted by that-"

"Jeez that sounds like a GREAT plan...FOR GETTING US KILLED!!" He snarled, swiping the glass vial from your hands. "And be careful with this! It could shatter and explode all over my wares! And I'll be making you pay for them!"

Normally, his anger would scare even the toughest expendable, but you weren't fazed in the slightest and just chuckled. "Woah, no need to get your fins in a twist, Sebby. I was only kidding."

"See? That's exactly your problem...you're too relaxed over all of this." He gently set the glass vial down like it was a baby deep sea bunny. "Those prisoners aren't our buddies, you know."

"I'm not trying to make friends with any of them. I'd just like to see them live a bit longer. It's interesting to hear about their experiences. Plus, they're willing to fork over any data they might have on 'em. So I'm completely focused on our mission."

"Still, we're trying to get out of this place before they terminate the Expendable Protocol. And that means getting out of here before anyone reaches the crystal-"

"And we will. I promise they won't get any closer just because I told them how to evade that dumb frog." You huffed, slithering off the crates and grabbing the nearby lantern. "I'll go pay Painter a visit. See what data he's gathered so far. You mind if I borrow this?"

"...why would I care?"

"Huh..impressive."

"What?"

"Oh nothing. I'm just glad we've moved past fighting over blacklights like toys." You grinned cheekily.

Sebastian's eye twitched. "I wish you'd stop reminding me of that.."

"Well you gave me the marks. So it's hard to forget." You chuckled, crawling into the vent and making your way to the heavy containment sector.

'They're probably gonna go chat up some other expendable.' He thought, annoyed as he went back to organizing his wares.

"Heads up."

"Who said tha---OH SHIT!!"

His ear fins perked up at the distant sounds of your shouting, which was quickly followed by a loud static buzz and a red light that he noticed sweeping through the adjacent room.

Seconds after that, your head popped back through the vent, your expression bewildered. "SEBASTIAN WHO THE HELL WAS THAT?!!"

"Oh? I thought you knew everybody here." He snickered. "He's just another acquaintance. Don't worry. You probably won't see him again."

"...I better not. Bye."

"Bye~"

[inquirepannacottafugo]

If you want to could you talk shit about the others in your team? I like drama. You can skip Giorno if you want because I know you love her ❤️

I will include Giorno because it is for fairness,

Bruno:

-Likes fish a little bit too much, I think there's something deeper going on. I'm not sure what, but something is happening with him and those scaly creatures.

-Bad at cooking, specifically soup.

-He doesn't fucking use doors, he just zips his way in. Fuck locking the door, he'll zip his way in, like the nosy scum he is. Respectfully, keep it zipped.

Mista:

-Said he has never tried fresh celery, dirty little man.

-Unpleasant smell, it sticks to everything. Trust me, you know when he's coming.

-Asks the worst questions over meals, I don't want to hear his validations for cannibalism, even if he's against cannibalism himself.

Narancia:

-Plays his music too loud. His room is directly attached to mine by shared wall and he puts his speaker up against that wall in particular, I need him to stop.

-I don't understand how he talks sometimes, I didn't almost get a degree to have to learn what a 'skibidi' is. I don't care about Mr Toilet or his camera men, are they in a harem or something alike?

-He peels fruits and leaves the skin on the table and the table almost always has fruit juice on it, irritates me. I don't want my hand being on a sticky mess, it ruins my day.

Trish (I suppose she counts) :

-I believe, in my personal opinion, she has too much stuff. There is a lot of items in her ownership and it's getting hard to keep track of.

-She keeps calling me emo (I'm fucking NOT.)

-Generally annoying, she keeps taking MY seat at the dinner table (which I've had the same seat for three plus years) and she needs to recognize that she doesn't always have special privileges. If anything, she should have reduced privileges because she was the ex boss of Passiones daughter, indirectly, she caused a lot of people to die/almost die. She will make me end my life if she takes MY favorite seat one more time, I don't like sitting anywhere else and she needs to know her place under my heel, not on my chair.

Giorno:

-Doesn't let bugs out of the house when someone tells her to, 'it's their home too now, they're too little to know where they are'. Shut up, Narancia's plenty little too and he fucking knows where he is. Plus Abbacchio's a little cockroach, he knows where he is, get those fucking little crawlers OUT.

-Keeps turning my pencils into frogs, stop it. I need my pencils, what I don't need is a Lake Titicaca Frog. Thank you very much.

-More of a complaint directed at Golden Experience, but she willingly let's Golden Experience out, so it's on her. I need that damn stand to STOP hugging my stand, Purple Haze is a rabies ridden little freak who does not deserve a hug. Additional little point, stop comparing my stand to a dog, Purple Haze may drool like one and rub his face against things, but that freak is not a dog.

Abbacchio:

-Ugly.

-Seventeen teeth.

-Seventeen teeth and one growing.

-Still bitching about his seventeen toothbrushes that went missing, one for each rotten little tooth.

-Hasn't replaced his toothbrushes in over fifteen years.

-Alcoholic bitch who leaves glass bottles on the floor in front of my room to watch me trip over, it's NOT funny.

-I'm convinced he hasn't read a book in over ten years.

-Ex cop.

-Smelly.

-I haven't seen him sleep in his actual room in over three months.

-His lipstick looks bad, It's not your color, let it go.

-Has a stupid little 'A' bag that reminds me of the Lost Relic Of Atlantis from Spongebob Squarepants.

-Hair looks like Squidward (from Spongebob Squarepants') tentacles, it also makes the noises when he walks, I bet it's so greasy it sticks like tentacles too.

-Copied my hair color.

-Has a stupid fucking stand who looks like a stingray.

-Stand has ugly eyes.

-Listens to bad music.

-Stupid.

-Outfit is an ugly color.

-I don't like his shoes.

-Depressed.

-Broke the toilet by shitting too hard a few weeks back.

-Pisses really loudly, seriously, it sounds like chicken being fried.

-What is up with that stupid fucking little purple thing on his stupid fucking cone head?

-Resting bitch face but in a bad way.

-Why does he look like that?

-In dire need of cosmetic surgery.

-I'm half convinced he didn't graduate Elementary School.

-I don't like his personality.

-His beer is cheap and tastes like shit.

-Eyes are an ugly color.

-I saw him eat cake barehanded once, no utensils, no nothing, he didn't even wash his hands before or after. He just committed the diabolical act and left the plate on the side, before scurrying out like the little spineless rat man he is.

-Should be dead.

-Generally just disappointing to be around, he's just so uninteresting.

-Owns a rat, which he probably got so he could sit on the floor and munch cheese with and claim it to be 'bonding' instead of him trying to be the mischievous little mouse he thinks himself to be.

-I fucking hate him.

[gremlinmodetweeker]

König of the Icks (cont.)

I'm going to a buffet with friends today, so I have come to a horrifying realization. König had to go out into public spaces. Oh no.

Art from This Post

König is an absolute menace in public spaces. Namely restaurants. It's so humiliating going to a restaurant with him

He eats so much that it becomes a public spectacle, which is awful because if you didn’t have social anxiety before, now you and König are now in the same boat

He really does feel bad, but he gets so hungry! You have to understand that he needs three meals and an appetizer. He does! Stop looking at him like that!

He gets to the point where he starts to try and hide his food from other customers because it makes him feel bad. Kids have commented on it while walking by. He feels absolutely humiliated by it. If he can, he’ll find a seat anywhere out of sight just to get some peace of mind.

The thing is he isn’t fat, so people are just amazed by him. He’s really not fat, I mean sure yeah he’s got some fat reserves but he’s not fat by any means. He’s just big. He’s so big and tall and he just has so much muscle, and then he works out so much? He really just eats a fuck ton. This is a man who regularly packs away 3000 calories.

You better be glad that he’s in a PMC because that’s the only way you guys can afford eating out. He’s a nightmare. This is a man to run up $100 at a McDonalds. He’s their favourite customer, and he knows and he hates it so much.

He gets a lot of coupons and he hates it. He racks up points so quickly that frankly it’s horrifying. You go out one night, cash out your points, and the next time you go out there’s more points to be cashed. You’re not saving money, he’s just hungry

So, the thing about König being a big eater is that he’s banned from so many buffets. The only ones he isn’t banned from are the ones that he has purposefully made friends with the owners to ensure a safe seat. He will battle his social anxiety for the sole purpose of making sure you don’t face the humiliation of being kicked out because your husband eats too much.

He’ll do it for you.

When König has to deal with other public spaces, he’s still a nightmare. He gets so awkward and anxious, but because he has an image to keep up he won’t tell you that anything’s wrong. He’s the type of guy who can have a panic attack in public and nobody will notice. It’s impressive, but it’s not healthy

You have to learn how to talk for him and make requests on his behalf. If he needs to find shoes from the back in his size, you’re asking for them. If he needs to use the washroom, you’re asking where it is. He won’t give you any support in this. He’ll watch you flail and won’t do a damned thing. Sorry, but he’s too anxious to help

He’s a strange creature in public. He’s so anxious that he just exudes an aura of intimidation and rage. Something about how he walks quickly sets people on edge. The way he stares without blinking frightens people. He’s almost always wearing a sort of face mask, so that doesn’t help either.

Before you, he was going out in public with the full mask every single time. Every. Single. Time.

Speaking of the mask, that thing is nasty

You have to pry it off of him to be able to throw it into the wash. He hasn’t washed it in ages because he only has one mask and the way to the laundry on base was through a public hallway so he never felt like he could make the trip back without the mask.

His mask has an actual smell to it. It reeks of sweat and grease. It’s absolutely disgusting. If you look close, the black cloth is covered in stains. Some of them have some horrible origins. They’re just vile.

Trying to get König to clean the mask is an uphill battle every single time. He gets worried that when it’s in the wash or dryer, he’ll have to make an impromptu trip out into public. You tell him to get a second mask, but he’s strangely attached to his current one. It’s almost like Linus from Peanuts and his blanket. You just can’t separate them.

He gets so fussy about face masks. When you finally convince him to start using some different masks, he gets quite attached to those as well. Unfortunately, this also means he doesn’t like the backup masks being thrown in the wash, and don’t you dare tell him to use disposable because he’ll throw a fit about it.

König is a bit of an ecowarrior in all the weirdest ways. He won’t be explicit about it, but you’ll notice some traits here and there and you’ll pretty quickly put the picture together.

He was a nature kid, as mentioned in this post, so yeah he’s totally into nature stuff. This also means he became much more protective of the environment than most

This means he carries a litter bag and some plastic gloves at all times, and yes he’ll pick up the most disgusting vile things off the ground without a second thought

Sometimes he’ll tease you with it, which is absolutely disgusting

He takes timed showers, and this includes when he showers with you. No sexy showers unless you ask for them.

He is conscious of always trying to use biodegradable products if he can, or sustainably produced

This also means he complains about the cost all the time even though there’s cheaper solutions right there

The one time König will forget his social anxiety is when he sees somebody litter. God help both the litterer and you when he spots it happening.

He will walk up (and remember he walks uncomfortably fast so he looks far more aggressive than he is) and grab the litter before shoving it back into the poor idiot's hands. He’ll then go on a rant about keeping spaces clean and how they’re the reason that public spaces look ugly

He doesn’t realize that he’s probably terrifying the poor person as he goes off, so there’s no way they’re gonna get anything out of this. They’re not going to learn, König is literally just wasting his breath

He will go off until you call him back as subtly as you can. This will usually take a couple of attempts

Some people try to get up in his face, but that doesn’t usually last long. Unfortunately, it does cause a massive scene that König won’t notice until afterwards and then he’ll feel terrible

This means you have to cheer him up after. Good luck.

[aria-the-motherblog]

Oh my god, halsin is a werebear isn't he?

Minor spoilers

This is headcanon but think about it. Both narrative and mechanics seem to point to it

For starters my guy runs around the woods as a bear for fun. He just regularly lives his life as a bear. DND druids can only wild shape for a few hours at a time mechanically speaking and they don't really take on the personality of that animal

Halsin does though. On several occasions he is overcome with his "wild nature" even if you don't play along with the bear scene, he talks about how he's poly like a bear, he also has bear like anger issues, not being able to be discreet in the goblin camp for example.

Speaking of when you meet him at the goblin camp he's still in his wild shape. A mechanical part of bg3 druids is that when you loose your wild shape up you are left with full HP in humanoid form, but somehow the goblins never saw elf druid halsin? Only the "warbear"? You want me to believe that these tiny creatures dragged a basically nuclear 5th level big daddy Halsin into a worg cage. Bull.

Lythari are werewolves not werebears but I don't think it's a coincidence that they live in communities with moon and WOOD elves.

It's also not nothing that werebears have a easier time bonding with bears and he has not one but two bears back in the druid grove Ormn, who refers to halsin as "master" and is absolutely devastated by the missing Halsin and Tuffet that Halsin remarks as getting lazy and leaves instructions not to feed her to Netti. I don't think Bosk is one of his considering he is. Far. From. Home.

And let's talk about appearances, werebears are said to be exceptionally tall and muscular in humanoid form. (I understand and like halsin's theory that he doesn't need a reason to be so big, but if he was a werebear it would explain it). They also are usually extra hairy and have beards now our elf man doesn't have a beard but... Sense when do elves have chest hair? Imo probably the most damning piece of evidence regarding his appearance is his scar.

Halsin obtained the scar while in wild shape. As I've mentioned before druids that are brought to 0 HP in wild shape transform back with full HP. So why then would a mark from let's be real that hit was what 4 points of damage, retain in his elf form unless our favorite duck loving dweeb wasn't in wild shape at all but in his bear form as a werebear.

All of this can be explained, but most werecreatures have some level of plausible deniability that's how they work.

Lastly the biggest piece of mechanical evidence is his Cave Bear wild shape that is totally unique to him. Other druids do not get this. It's just because he's super aligned with bears but why is he super aligned with bears? Because he's a werebear

So why does it never come up? I don't think Halsin actually knows. He was a child when he started playing with Thaniel and probably not that old when he started to realize he needed to protect Thaniel. By the time he would have started transforming into a bear he might have just thought it was a druid thing.

[ghcstao3]

AU rambles. like a Lot of yapping

soap and ghost were childhood friends. they grew up some in the same small town, nestled between thick forests and far from much else.

like most towns similar to their own, talk of monsters is not uncommon—shouldn’t be, anyhow, with their prominence. such old forests constantly looking around them, supernatural creatures are bound to live within, and outside of their depths. and in small towns where people are sometimes attacked or go missing, it isn’t surprising, either, when there are individuals who take up a career as hunters.

john has seen it all—hexes, werewolf scratches, vampire bites, possessions, you name it—being that he comes from a long line of hunters. but, in all honesty, he doesn’t really want to pursue that, too. he’d rather do what he and simon always planned to do: save up as much as they could until john finally turned eighteen just two years after simon would, then run away to a life somewhere else. a life less dreary, less lives in paranoia, with crowds and crowds of people and where no one knew your name. it would be perfect.

but then simon disappears when they’re twelve and fourteen, without a word. his entire family just up and vanished one day, no warning, and no hint as to where they could have gone. what could have happened. and somehow, someway, as it does in small towns such as their—rumours eventually and inevitably twist into a story about monsters abducting and surely massacring the riley family. john has no choice but to believe this, otherwise he might be left hopelessly wondering if simon just couldn’t wait anymore.

without simon, john ends up becoming a hunter. he could never find the courage to leave alone, and at least this way he can make someone happy, even if memories of simon would always weigh heavy on his conscience. he wonders what he did wrong. wonders if he should have started his training sooner, so maybe he could have protected simon from whatever thing had gotten him.

thirteen years go by. john has become incredibly good at his job, fulfilling the fate his lineage had set out for him as best as he can, if not better. he’s certain that nothing could catch him off guard anymore—or at least, he was, until one day simon shows up at his front door. looking older, taller, broader, more worn—but undeniably simon.

or so it seems at first. because as time goes on after their sudden reunion, something feels… off about simon. nothing terribly obvious or of note, but something is, without a doubt, different. and john can’t quite put his finger on it.

meanwhile simon is dealing with a somewhat new affliction—vampirism—and didn’t know who else to go to, once he’d mostly curbed those fledgling cravings. the only problem he’s now realizing, however, is that john, his johnny, now kills his kind on the regular, and simon doesn’t know if he’ll be safe for long—but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t at least try to get john’s help and understanding.

even if it kills him, too.

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts

CH.30 (Good Medicine)

I kind of assumed that things would get worse from here...

...yeah, there's no 'but' to that. Getting Falin back so quick was too good to be true.

Aren't those the ghosts Falin talked to? They could be friendly.

"ee gads! a hairless little man!" I'd be frightened too if Chillchuck was suddenly behind a door I'd just opened.

Chillchuck, buddy, less than 24 hours ago you threw a knife directly into a dragon's eye. You can take care of some worgs, right?

Senshi's a card carrying member of the smells-okay-to-me-chief club.

Orcs be like 'oh, dragon's gone? Hm. Curious' and then just carry on. Wouldn't you be worried that something took out the dragon? Could be even more dangerous than the dragon itself.

I feel like at this point Falin might be just that.

MOUTH TO MOUTH RESUSCITATION!

Marcille, I don't think you have a lot of options.

......just realized those moose antlers are holding up her rack. Talk about a pushup bra. Damn. Respect.

Wait go back to that "create monsters to do their bidding" thing again. Was that the little mini dragons or does that include larger monsters like the dragon itself?!

OR something that was IN the dragon, controlling its actions and make it act irrationally? Is that why the Sorcerer wasn't surprised to see Falin as a separate thing outside the dragon? Was the assumption that whatever THING it was had escaped and become Falin?

And for all we know... it kinda had. It had merged with her spirit....

Or maybe I'm way off.

Congrats on the larger story plot! :D You're now in even more danger! Hoorah!

Chillchuck, a normal person would just go 'I'm leaving, pay me'. You're giving yourself away, worrying for them.

I can't hate him for the reasoning here. The deeper you go, the less likely you are to be found. The only person who cares enough about Marcille and Laios and Chillchuck to find their bodies are.... each other. So if they're dead here, they're likely dead-dead.

I want to nestle into her bosom and live there as a little creature.

Moreso than when she was literally in the gullet of a red dragon?! Come on, be reasonable. At least she's alive now. And remembers who she is.

Ooooh friendly ghosts. Makes sense why Falin was so chill about them.

All the more reason to believe there's something to be done!

Love the doggo yawning behind Chillchuck.

He's a coward, but being afraid isn't necessarily a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you realize how dangerous a situation is. Cowardice isn't stupidity, no more than ignorance of danger is bravery.. I think the orc leader is maybe realizing he's not doing it for completely selfish reasons. Mad respect to her though.

It WAS Falin, wasn't it? It wasn't as if it was a thing pretending to be her. She was there, and she was revived successfully, and then the soul confusion thing happened.

......damn. What a small holiday they got, before the next horrible thing happened...

hey, Marcille is not dumb! She's got loads of braincells! they're just all focused on doing evil stuff and being gay.

🎯

That's right! It's just like you, Chillchuck!

Was that... there before?

Oh, okay, no, it was. Hm.......

This stupid man is about to full a Falin and jump out a window to go look for her, isn't he.

Gods, this sucks for him so much. For all of them. Because they.... they WERE successful! They rescued Falin! They brought her back from the head! They DID that!

But now, instead of getting the reward of it, she's just gone. Is it better, because she's alive?

Or worse, because the threat is even more nebulous?

If they all died, would it be worth it?

who's the coward...? he's ready to go back.

For Falin, they went down there. They risked themselves.

For them, after talking to him only a bit, the orc leader went from 'hey, nice snack for my dog' to 'we're helping you get that girl back'.

It's about the CONNECTION!!! IT'S ABOUT HELPING EACH OTHER AFTER LEARNING TO UNDERSTAND ONE ANOTHER!!!

[packleaderbriggan]

The Cat King: Tools, Emotions, and The Kiss - A Pseudo-Analysis

I was scrolling through one of the DBDA communities I'm part of and came across a lovely entry by @jamifed talking about their feelings on the whole Cat King/Monty/Edwin dynamic in the forest during episode 6. I've been waiting for an excuse to talk about my analysis of the scene and the characters, so this is that:

More under the cut 😁

TCK is meant to be a creature that doesn't think. He's meant to be a being of desire. Whether or not his desire is completely thought through isn't the point.

He makes himself out to be whatever he thinks will benefit him most in the moment. For Edwin in the cannery, it was a "fair and consensual cat king." TCK saw that he was freaked out by his advances, so he gave him an alternate way out. His goal was to show Edwin that he is someone Edwin doesn't need to fear. In that instance, he was a fair and consensual cat king.

But in the forest, being "fair and consensual" wasn't conducive to his ultimate goal of being with Edwin. There, the self-image that served him best is someone who is strong enough to take what they want, regardless of anyone's feelings. His downfall in that scene was underestimating the toll Monty’s betrayal would have on Edwin.

To TCK, exposing Monty got him out of the way. He was an obstacle, a tool to be used by his mother and then to be used by TCK. He isn't a person who should matter. He is a thing to be used. He is a means to an end. TCK understands that, Esther understands that, hell- even Monty understands that! So he just can't fathom why Edwin likes him so damn much!

And that leads us to The Kiss. I truly don't think TCK wanted to kiss Monty. (He doesn't want the old witch's bird! He wants Edwin!) But he did what he has always done: Let his desire make his decisions for him.

But Packleader, I can hear you cry, didn't you just say he doesn't desire Monty? Why would he kiss him if he didn't desire him!

And the answer to that, my dear fellow, is simple: The Kiss, to him, was a tool.

TCK used the kiss to make Monty feel insecure, to throw him off his game, to remind him of his place as an object, a thing... but also to show Edwin that Monty isn't strong. Monty can't do what needs to be done. Monty. Doesn't. Matter. Not like The Cat King does.

But, to TCK, getting Monty out of the way - by whatever means necessary - was supposed to solve his problems. He took out the competition, so Edwin's next logical choice would be TCK!

But that's not how it played out. Because Edwin cared more than TCK could understand. He cared about this boy (who isn't even a real boy) he's barely known for a week, more than a nearly immortal being of divinely appointed and incredible power... It's not logical. It's not something he expects because he is better than Monty in every way that matters...

He is powerful. He is confident. He is virile and sure of himself. He is experienced. He is desirable. He is everything Monty Finch - Monty Finch: the tool, the obstacle, the opponent - is not. In the wild, to a cat, these traits would be enough to land him Edwin as a mate, as soon as the competition was dispatched...

But they are not in the wild, and Edwin is not a cat. He doesn't care about any of those things TCK is or is not. He doesn't give a single rat's ass if TCK can take care of him, provide for him, be enough for him... Because TCK will never be able to do any of those things better than Charles Rowland already is.

And that. That is what TCK doesn't understand. That is why Edwin Payne is so fascinating to him.

If TCK is a being of desire, Edwin is a creature of logic. So, to have all the options laid out before him (TCK, Monty, and Charles) and still fail to choose the most logical suitor - He can't wrap his mind around it!

Self-preservation, as we see in the show, is one of TCK's main motivators. But, time and time again, Edwin Payne, a boy who prides himself on his logical decision-making and his cold, unfeeling persona (which is obviously just a facade and a way for him to hide emotions he finds terrifying - but that's a topic for a different time), consistently fails to select the one potential partner that could give him everything he's ever wanted and more... It drives him crazy!

TL;DR: TCK isn't human. He doesn't understand human emotions on the same wavelength as Edwin does. He doesn't understand that the way he views kissing (nice, leads to more fun, but ultimately nothing more than a means to an end) and the way Edwin views kissing (beautiful, idyllic, but reserved only for That Person) are polar opposites. That is something that TCK just can't understand because he was not exposed to the same things as Edwin was. They just don't have the same perspective on romance, sex, desire, any of it! And that fundamental misunderstanding is what drove Edwin away for good.

I do have to give him one thing, though: cats in media are usually portrayed as fickle, narcissistic, selfish, and self-absorbed. TCK (and Lukas Gage, props all around 🤩🤌) embodies all the traits of this character archetype to a T.

[sapphicrot]

Your cycle consumes itself. What have you become?

(ˡᵒʳᵉ ᵈᵘᵐᵖ ᵇᵉˡᵒʷ ᶜᵘᵗ)

SO THIS IS MY INV VS SAINT AU!! It started as a shitpost and uh. Spiralled. Out of control. And now it’s genuine lol.

Enot and Saint are basically mortal enemies, and Saint needs to get Enot OUT OF THE CYCLES in order to continue his work, because this damn horny bastard won’t stop hunting him down…for some reason. Isn’t ascension the greatest gift you can bestow upon the creatures suffering in this barren wasteland? At least Saint thinks that. Inv, on the other hand, does not.

Enot stumbles upon Pebbles while passing through the silent construct, trying to find food one day. He takes a liking to this half-dead pink toaster, bringing him scraps of fabric as blankets and lanterns, and the best part…talking to him. Inv, somehow, can talk to iterators. And despite Pebbles’ very limited ability to reply, he does appreciate the company, and slowly the cycles become less agonizing. Pebbles has a friend. However, when Saint finds him, his immediate reaction is to attempt to ascend him—and he is tackled by a very angry slugcat, hissing and spitting at him in defence of its friend.

When Saint attempts to ascend him, he misses, just barely clipping Enot’s tail and glitching him half-out of reality. He then realizes, to his horror, that his karma seems to be draining. Whatever the hell this thing is, it’s dangerous, and Saint retreats to restore his karma (and heal some of the nasty wounds Enot gave him).

Inv turns back to see Pebbles, staring at him in pure fear, before he simply whispers out a “Thank…you…”. And that’s when Inv makes it his mission to save Pebbles (and everyone else) from Saint.

This leads to Inv running around the map, hot on Saint’s heels, trying to get any and all the iterators to figure out a way to get off their damn strings and LIVE again! Most of them are collapsed or semi-collapsed, so it’ll be an uphill battle, but when a glitchy, teleporting slugcat with the ability to speak tells you to do something…you’d be kinda inclined to do it.

Anyways the reason Enot can’t be ascended is because he is happy to give in to every single one of the great taboos. Wrath, Lust, Friendship, Gluttony, and Self Preservation. He revels in them. And if he can help the others experience them, and become happy with living again, they’ll be immune too! Also he is ridiculously OP to the point of him basically just having DevTools active because I think it’s Funny. He can glitch-teleport and drains the karma of beings around him. He also talks super casually and I think it’s funny.

A little bit of their dynamic hehe:

“Hey, pal!”

“I would like you to stop calling me that, please. You may call me the Saint.”

“Ahah. Not happening.”

“You are incredibly disrespectful.”

“Hey man, I’m not the one calling myself a saint but then running around killing shit and acting like it’s a good thing.”

“You use such vulgar words. I ascend beings, freeing them from the torment of these endless cycles. It is my purpose.”

“Even the ones who don’t want to go? Bro, you don’t even ask. The last robot you almost merked was screaming “no wait” at you, and you still think you’re in the right here? You’re not some kind of righteous saint, that’s called being a fuckin’ serial killer.”

“You do not understand what you are talking about!”

“Whoa, buddy! Are you gettin’ mad? Ain’t that…a lil taboo? PFFT look at your face!”

“I am not tolerating this any longer. Goodbye.”

That’s all I can think of rn! Send asks if you like!

[tinkrtailrsldrspy]

How Does This Even Happen?! - Part 7

I'm... having a very autistic moment and have no words.

So here's the next part of the thing.

First Part - Previous Part - Next Part

Eleven months.

Ford hadn’t woken up in a full week.

And sometimes, Bill knew when his pride wasn’t worth the consequences.

“Edivorp tonnac I sgniht eht rof ksa I,” he muttered from where he floated in the center of the circle of lit candles. “Eye gnieeS-llA eht fo aelp eht ot netsil esaelp.” He could feel the thrum of power not his own begin to weave itself around him, tentative, searching. Not yet ready to manifest fully. “Elbaulavni won noitamrofni deen I, elbillaf seiromem ot tsol yrotsih.” He sighed softly as he scrunched his eye shut, hoping against hope that this actually worked. He hadn’t talked to the damn reptile since- “Dnah a dnel ot esaelp uoy ksa I, nalp nwo ym yb ksir ta sevil!”

For a moment, the foreign power seemed to fade, and an unsurprised weight settled in Bill’s gut. So, the slow crescendo of magic all around him was like a sip of water after months in the desert to Bill, filling him with a warmth and knowledge of safety and love. It wrapped him in layers of feather-soft light and tickled his angles with comfort.

You call for me.

Bill let out a sigh of relief. “Hey, Ax,” he muttered as he opened his eye, met with the sight of the giant Axolotl floating amid his cotton-candy clouds. “I, uh… I’m gonna be a dad.”

I am aware. And I am so very happy for you.

The deity’s always-present smile widened as they curled down to bump their large forehead against Bill’s top angle. The triangle laughed, the sound soft and light - unlike any noise that Bill had been able to make in eons.

What do you have need of me for, child?

“It’s- it’s Sixer,” Bill hesitated only slightly, his drive to protect his mate far stronger than his drive to protect his ego now. “The pregnancy has been really hard on his body, and you know how vague my memories about Euclydia are. Plus, I’ve been changing, as well. I knew it would happen, but they’ve been far more extensive than I thought they would be.” The Axolotl nodded along with Bill’s words, wrapping his body around the small triangle.

And you have need of my knowledge of Euclydia.

“You know I don’t remember much,” Bill muttered, looking away from the greater being. “I thought I could handle this - that I knew enough about human pregnancy and Euclidean pregnancy to do this, but… the bond is changing me in ways I didn’t account for. I’m not…” he struggled for the words, clenching and unclenching his fists in frustration. “I’m not able to look at things objectively anymore. And IQ is- Ford is…” He squeezed his eye shut, the image of Ford lying still in the black-silk sheets, pale and face twisted in pain, was burned into his mind’s eye.

You have chosen your path well this time, my child. And it pains my heart greatly to see you in such distress. Your bond is one-sided, and with a creature not of Euclydia - it leaves the bond unable to finish its duty by tying you to your partner, as Stanford is not biologically inclined to such a thing, unlike you. While it is only speculation on my part, as this has never happened before, I must theorize that your bond is attempting to make you more like your partner. You are becoming more human, Bill.

“I’m…” Bill whispered, staring at the Axolotl with his eye wide. “Is that why all these emotions are suddenly drowning me? But I- I’m the last pure Euclidean! I know my child won’t be pure-blooded, but does that mean they’ll be even less than half?! Being with Sixer is supposed to help save my people, not- not-”

Calm, my child.

The Axolotl wrapped tighter around the panicking being, Bill reaching out to clutch his arms around their body.

You are not becoming human biologically, Bill.

Their voice sounded almost amused.

Your bond is making it so that you may understand your partner more, that is all.

Bill sighed and went slack against the giant creature, who nuzzled him with their wide snout. “Ax,” Bill finally managed to mutter after long minutes of finding his center once more. “Please just tell me they survive. I see every possible future, and I don’t know which one is true, and I don’t dare speculate because- because of the reality of some of them. I just need to know they both make it through this okay.”

You know as well as I do that I cannot tell you that.

“I know,” Bill whispered. “But a triangle can hope, right?” That got a laugh out of the Axolotl as they slowly unwound themselves from around the smaller being. “Thank you, Ax.” Bill paused for a moment, as if realizing what he’d just said. “Ha! Can you believe that?! Me, thanking someone! Without even thinking about it!”

Stanford has been a good influence on you. I hope for your happiness now and in the future.

“Yeah… see ya, Ax,” Bill’s eye twisted up in a half-smile as he waved to the deity as it faded from view. He woke up, still situated in the center of his summoning circle, and let out a small sigh.

Back to Ford’s bedside, and his long vigil.

[glam0urgh0ull]

CAN WE KNOW ANYTHING MORE ABOUT ZACH AND JEFF? Or with zach and any other characters like EJ and/or Toby?

YES OF COURSE, YALL DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE WHEN YOU GUYS ASK ABOUT ZACHARY!! 🙈

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Zachary's relationships with Other Pr⦻xies/Pastas!

➳ Jeff the Killer 🔪

Jeffery Woods exhibits very severe antisocial and sociopathic behavior. He’s frustrated with everyone around him trying to understand him when he can barely understand himself. He has a negative outlook on life and is very selfish and narcissistic, these feelings lead to frequent fits of violent rage. All of these factors make Jeffery Woods a very hard person to get along with, many of the proxies have actually come to dislike Jeff due to his poor behavior. Except for one, Zachary Phelps.

Zachary is an irresponsible and aggressive jackass, and one of the few proxies who are consistently affected by the Slender Sickness. The reality-warping torture messing with his head, his drug addiction-along with the brutal withdrawals-has only making things worse, wearing down what little sense of reason he had left.

Zachary and Jeff will often act as if they’re both one second away from tearing each other's throats out, but in reality, the two of them are practically joined at the hip. Both are short-tempered, irrational, and prone to violence-and when nights out doesn't go according to plan, then all hell will break loose in no time. Verbal arguments will quickly escalate into full-on brawls until somebody pulls them apart or they are too beat up to continue. But for all the screaming, swinging, and shit-talking, they’re both very oddly attached to each other.

➳ Toby Erin Rogers 🍂

Toby Erin Rogers is infinitely more understanding and empathetic when put side by side with proxies like Jeffery Woods and Zachary Phelps. He is absolutely loyal to Slenderman, following every order, mission, and task without question.

However, unlike the rest, Toby would have clear boundaries when it comes to people he kills for Slender. He will not lay his hands on any women or children, because he believes that would make him too much like the man his stepfather was. Thankfully, Slenderman has never challenged this rule and Toby has thus far been able to enforce it without any punishment. However, Zachary is the kind of guy who goes in and out with a bang-explosives, guns, whatever gets the job done in the most destructive way. Collateral damage? Civilians caught in the crossfire? Doen't faze him one bit. Every stunt he pulls, the risks of getting arrested skyrocket, but he simply does not care.

Toby, on the other hand, hates the recklessness, the complete disregard for innocent lives, and the lack of control involved in it. Being around Zachary is a draining experience, as it is like standing next to a box of flares with lit fuses and awaiting an inevitable explosion. But Zachary? He loves Toby. Not in a way he'd ever say out loud, but deep down, he admires him. Sees in him something he could never be-someone with restraint, someone who still has their shit together. Someone who still gives a damn.

➳ Eyeless Jack 🩻

Eyeless Jack, previously known as Jack Nyras, was a medical student with a bright future ahead of him—until the night when fate took a turn on him. Jack was lured into the forest and sacrificed by a girl whom he had trusted. He was made into some grotesque, monstrous demon, cursed with an insatiable hunger for flesh. His body, animalistic and twisted, served as a further reminder of the disgusting, vile creature that he had come to truly detest with every passing day.

Jack struggles to accept what he has become and what he's done for Slenderman. The countless lives he has taken just because of his own gluttony leaves him drowning in his own guilt and mental torment. Often to the point where Jack punishes himself for his bloodlust by starving himself for days on end. Then again, no matter how much he punishes himself or indulges in his urges, the hunger always remains. Never satisfied. Constantly gnawing away at him on the inside.

Because of this, Jack hasn't allowed himself to be around the other proxies, he couldn't. Not when he's a risk. So, Jack avoids everyone as much as he can. Therefore, Zachary hasn't seen him all that much and doesn't have an clear opinion on him. Jack, on the other hand? He's seen just enough of Zachary to know that if they ever stuck in a room with each other, he would end up ripping the poor guy's throat out. So, for his own peace of mind and Zachary's safety, Jack would rather keep as much space between them as possible.

[kaddyssammlung]

This is a response to the anon that posted to “Sleep Token confessions” about Vessel, Sleep, abuse and trauma. (link to the post)

Was a bit too much to put this into the rebloggs so I made a post.

I continue under the cut. TW: abuse

I guess I will never fully understand this until Vessel explains it. There are a few things that maybe don't make sense or fans just interpret the wrong way or maybe whoever gave that interview did not tell the truth.

What always gets to me is “....with promise of glory and magnificence if Vessel followed him” In other words “do what I tell you and then great things will happen”

In my opinion that's giving up all your power. When you agree to something like that you set yourself up for not so great things. You depend on someone or in that case something (or however you want to refer to Sleep). You give up all your power.

I think this is really weird. I mean saying this in an interview like that "....great things will happen if...."

To me this always gave me a knot in my stomach when I read this and it still does.

Evil things or beings don't present themselves as evil to you. They come in and say “I'm archangel this and that and if you do this and that then something great will happen...”. I talked about those creatures a while back. They do exist in my perception

I think this was a situation that Vessel was in?! I mean with a creature like that?! An entity....something that had bad inentions and Vessel gave up all of his power until he realized what was actually going on.

The sad thing: he did not believe that he had enough power to become a successful musician.

And also he set himself up for abuse. And you only do this when you are used to it. It's like jumping into a relationship with someone who is really bad for you.

I've been there...many times.

I did not recognize abuse as such (neither me being the one doing it nor the one receiving it....I love BPD so damn much...the things....sometimes I....whatever)

And fans romanticizing over all of this...well they either don't get the lyrics or see them in a different way or they are survivors of abuse themselves and think by romanticizing abuse they gain power over the situation. So....

idk...I feel for them. All of them...I get it. I get both sides of abuse...I have this “I do anything...I make you stay...I swear I make you stay. Please don't leave me....I never find someone better then you. I'm nothing without you. You can hurt me as much as you like....to me you are still perfect” in me (=BPD)...or had it in me.

I really understand but also I don't think it's okay to romanticize abuse.

I'm very aware of how awful I used to behave a few years back.....I've been single for the past 10 years. I don't want to do be awful to anyone ever again until I fully faced myself and my demons.

All of this is just my opinion. We all don't know what really happened.

[lostlegendaerie]

The Laiostle (Laios/Thistle) Manifesto

[DISCLAIMER: don't take this too seriously. it's a cartoon and I'm just here to have fun.]

So, I have a problem. I'm a bit of what I call a "superglue shipper" where once I see chemistry (or the potential to have chemistry) between two characters, BAM. It's a ship. And just about nothing can convince me to shop shipping them. (If I had been a teenager when the original Star Wars trilogy came out, it would have broken me) Therefore! While I politely acknowledge to the court that Laios/Kabru seems delightful and much more likely, Thistle made eye contact with Laios first, therefore I am slowly being boiled alive in Rarepair Hell.

But hey! You're here to hear about why I stay in this torment nexus, so let's break down why I think Thistle and Laios would make a fascinating and charming couple. ANIME SPOILERS FOLLOW, and vague references to the manga as well.

Laios' interest in Thistle

One of Laios' most significant character traits are 1) his willingness to believe in the best in people/creatures and 2) his adoration for monsters. Even when Thistle turns Falin into the red dragon chimera, Laios isn't dead-set on killing him; instead, he fantasizes about talking to The Mad Mage and getting him to realize the error of his ways and return his sister to what she was before. (I've seen some manga leaks so I know roughly the effectiveness of that attempt as well)

Unlike many adventurers who came before him, Laios really isn't interested in overthrowing or harming the Lord of the Dungeon, or in treasure for treasure's sake. In a scenario where things turn out how Laios wants them to, he could very well have befriended Thistle by bonding with him over the very monsters that Thistle manages within the dungeon. Thistle may not enjoy them in the same way that Laios does, but it is damn near inherent to all sentient beings that we like to show off what we're good at with people and share our knowledge with them. Thistle could not ask for a more rapt audience than Laios when talking about cultivating his dungeon's ecosystem.

Thistle's interest in Laios

This section is a little heavier and subjective compared to the above one, and since this is the "piss on the poor" website I'm gonna state what should be incredibly obvious as bluntly as possible: just because I find it interesting, believable or even relatable, does not mean I endorse what happened to Thistle to make him this way.

Thistle appears to have been raised by Tallmen for his entire life as an orphan of some kind, and he was extremely attached to Freinag and his son Delgal to the point of learning very dangerous magic to protect the kingdom. After Delgal's disappearance (and other manga-specific events) his mental health takes a significant dive, and he becomes a threat of sorts to the people of the Golden Kingdom. The adventurers invading his territory would almost all be very willing to kill him to usurp his power, and even if he were to somehow leave and be reunited with other elves, I doubt he would be able to integrate into their society or ever feel like he truly belonged with them.

So if a Tallman arrived and showed him kindness, interest and genuine compassion... it's very reasonable to assume that a Thistle who wasn't suffering under the effects of being the Lord of the Dungeon (the influence of [redacted for Manga spoilers] for one) would be intrigued by him. Not to mention Laios' "destiny" of becoming the new King... and all the other aspects of the nature of the dungeon that's revealed in the manga. (At least from what I've been able to understand from out of context manga panels and wikia articles)

Intersection with Favorite Tropes

Laiostle ticks a lot of boxes for me: big soft golden retriever type + angry hissing cat type, size difference, "you remind me of someone I once knew/loves" and some of the messiness that comes with that (Thistle's relationship or feelings towards Delgal is, in the anime at least, clearly a loving one while open to interpretation on 'what kind of love'), characters who cross moral boundaries to try to save someone they love, to name a few. I am aware of Thistle's eventual ambiguous fate and would love to imagine a post-canon slow-burn between these two. Man, what a shame I'm not a writer or something. (Kicks AO3 account with over a million words written under the rug)

Anyway! Thanks to anyone who read this whole thing! Would LOVE to see truly any content for them in the tags, I am. Truly starving over here. If you don't agree with me or dislike my points, that's totally fine~