#he is THAT uncle you just know it

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Lily: That was McGonagle calling. Apparently, Harry has been using some very creative language today

Sirius: Oh? Do tell.

Lily: Well, he called her Potions homework a "cluster duck" and his professor a "mother flunker"

Sirius: [amused] Did he call anyone a "sock sucker"?

[Lily looks at him, pissed]

Sirius: What? It's just someone who sucks socks.

Lily: I can't believe you're teaching my son loophole swear words.

Sirius: In my defense, "mother flunker" was entirely the little deviant's creation. And very clever of him, I must say.

[sunderwight]

Thinking about Black Widow Luo Binghe.

Hear me out -- so just like in canon, Shen Qingqiu self-destructs to save Luo Binghe, dies, and Luo Binghe steals his body to put on ice while he looks for methods to resurrect him. But unlike in canon, staving off decomposition is simply not that doable for a matter of years, even with cultivation and Luo Binghe pouring qi into the process. The qi costs are still high, so is Xin Mo, and now Binghe also needs a special artifact that can actually preserve Shen Qingqiu, but that runs on blood sacrifices.

To get the thing working, Luo Binghe feeds it a bunch of prisoners from the Water Prison. Then he starts kidnapping cultivators to drain for his own qi reserves, but that's difficult, controversial, and he can't use the same victims for the blood sacrifice afterwards. Frankly, between one thing and another it would be easier to satisfy Xin Mo with dual cultivation, and focus on finding victims for Shizun's Snow White style glass preservation coffin without having to choose between using targets for one or the other. Especially given that, if he finesses it, Luo Binghe can extend the use of his sacrifices and get more out of them with fewer deaths that way.

He's pretty sure that Shizun would want fewer deaths.

Of course, he is not a fan of the logistics of the plan itself, but he'd do worse things to one day be reunited. He consoles himself that he's building up bedroom experience for one day being with Shen Qingqiu, and that it doesn't really count because his heart's not really in it, and also if Shizun got to spend all that time in brothels then it's only fitting that Luo Binghe be his equal in this as well. It still doesn't make it pleasant for him, but it makes him able to tolerate the necessity of it.

So Luo Binghe ends up marrying a string of rich and powerful figures -- mostly the villainous single fathers and mothers and evil uncles of harem members from PIDW, rather than their daughters -- and coming up with creative ways of making all their deaths a few months into the process look like accidents. After the third one people are undeniably wary of marrying him, but there's always someone with a big enough ego to think they'll be an exception, or stupid enough to believe that it really has just been so much bad luck up to that point. It helps that the universe is predisposed to let him hit it.

When SY wakes up in the shroom body and hears about Luo Binghe's succession of marriages, he's not surprised. What he is surprised by is the bisexual graveyard of toxic dilfs and milfs that has replaced the harem.

What did he do to cause that?!

And what does Luo Binghe mean that he wants to marry his own shizun now? Is this his new method of revenge??? Binghe, you don't have to marry someone to kill them!

[humbuns]

birds of the same feather?

[seasideoranges]

i love your zukka art!! have you ever drawn them in a modern setting? i would love to see you interpret their clothing styles!!

sincerest apologies that their outfits are kinda boring especially sokkas, designing modern clothing for the atla gaang is very difficult for me haha

[doodlesforfics]

Who’s Old Now? by @lirabuswavi​ (um i hope i tagged the right person, cause like im 80% sure you are same ao3 lirabuswavi, if not im sorry <;D)

ok this one-shot literally opened my eyes to sheer chaos possibility of Adult!Fenton adopting kid Billy B. while Teenager!Phantom being mistaken as Shazam’s ward and just ladskjsdk??? superhero/magic/ghost community would not be prepared. amazing fic. such fun.

and some doodles inspired by the fic

let lil Billy have retired ghost superhero possibly eldritch overpowered being Phantom as protective Dad.

[fauvester]

little moshang fan kid <3

spoiled, aloof, a bit of a bitch, terminally 'weak constitution'-ed, lowkey lazy, prefers reading his dailies in the office and pretending to do paperwork to fighting

[kairithemang0]

Y'all I am so bored

[muffinlance]

Can Sokka’s science tell him which of Katara’s 7 spools of blue thread 🧵 is the right one to darn that hole in his shirt with?

It could if she didn't keep changing her answer

Katara: I AM NOT CHANGING MY ANSWER

Sokka: YES YOU ARE THESE ARE IDENTICAL

Katara: NO THEY'RE NOT

Sokka: I DEMAND A DOUBLE-BLIND STUDY

Katara: I DEMAND YOU GET YOUR OWN SEWING KIT

[garashir]

arthur talking to the rest of the gang:

arthur talking to charles:

[weirdoldmanhoho]

I'm pretty sure I've said this before but the reason my Elrics & Roy relationship tag is "Roy is a dad" is NOT because I see their dynamic as adopted dad and kids or think it's particularly parental

it's because the idea of Roy willingly saddling himself with two chaos-prone teenagers and ultimately making himself the closest thing to their guardian (outside of Pinako who is mostly unaware of what they're doing at any given time) while being so completely unprepared for and annoyed by is so funny to me

my guy, you did this to yourself

you encouraged a minor to join the military, put him under your command, and then failed to be heartless enough to NOT care about his wellbeing, you forced the role of guardian on yourself

my elrics & riza tag is "riza is a mom" because riza is a Mom

[biodead-on-the-biobed]

I see people talking about “oh Phillipa and Prudence are racing to produce an heir, and so far Penelope is winning” and “what if Prudence and Phillipa both have daughters and Penelope is the one to have a son” and I raise you:

Penelope has twins.

Because THINK abt it. Bridgerton has messed with birth order/child names before (see Daphne and August) so it’s possible for this case (ie: making Agatha and Thomas twins instead)

But just. Imagine the chaos. Imagine Penelope’s family brushing aside the idea that Pen is even pregnant, or telling her “you’re so sick because you’re having a girl” or some other nonsense. Imagine her sisters still haven’t had their children. Imagine Penelope gives birth and of course half the Bridgertons are there in support and Penelope’s own family arrive late after the birth. And Portia gets told that Yes, you do have a granddaughter.

And a grandson.

And then you cut to Colin and Pen holding their girl and boy respectively (I refuse to believe Agatha wont have Colin wrapped around her little finger within 5 minutes of her being born, and you know sweet boy Thomas has Pens entire heart) and Portia, Prudence, and Phillipa have to come to terms with the fact that not only did Penelope beat them in the race to have a child, she had TWO

[darth-does-stuff]

ok everybody saying dan fucks is conrad’s dad you do you but for ME personally the fix will always be conrad’s dad because dan gives cool uncle vibes 1000000% percent more than the fix ever will. but we will both live our truth and we will both be happy 🤝

[kacievvbbbb]

Honestly Ozai’s treatment of zuko and Azula was probably less about who they were and more about him projecting what he wishes his father would have done for him with Iroh.

He is after all a second born child himself and he’s always just wanted his father to see that he was the better child.

Azula was never a person to Ozai not really she was just his self insert in the fanfiction he was writing himself. It’s why she stops mattering the moment he finds something bigger than being fire lord.

[daily-hanamura]

[tcfactory]

Okay, random 1 am idea:

In the earliest of Airplane-bro's drafts, Luo Binghe's sidekick was a sneaky spy ice demon with teleportation powers. A real overworked backstabbing ladder-climber type. He was supposed to bide his time and then try to double-cross Binghe when the protagonist got his eyes on the ancestral power of the north, because Luo Binghe was a shitty boss to him and trying to take what should have been his birthright was the last straw. (Overworked, underappreciated backstabbing sidekicks may or may not have been a common trope at the time he started writing, but also incredibly relatable, even if his betrayal was doomed to failure by the narrative.)

But then the direction of the story started getting out of Airplane's hands (gotta please the readers after all) and he really wanted to have something for himself, so the original Ice Demon Sidekick TM got split into the current Author's Favorite Mobei-jun and sneaky spy waving deathflags OG!Shang Qinghua. Then, because by then OG!Shang Qinghua was long dead in the story, Airplane ended up simply reusing the original concept/personality for Linguang-jun (after some nerfs of course) and the ancestral power storyline got revamped for Mobei-jun's personal story.

As a direct side effect of this, Linguang-jun and OG!Shang Qinghua are extremely similar in personality and, because overworked author put more of himself into the overworked spy's character than he realized, he's also quite similar to Airplane-as-Shang-Qinghua.

From there it takes one accidental meeting for him to gain some insight into Linguang-jun's motivations (quite logical, if you ask Airplane, but that might just be the authorial bias speaking) and then a spur of the moment decision to go: you know what? None of this has any effect on Binghe and his general... everything, so why shouldn't he be allowed to fix the Mobei family drama before it can escalate to murder attempts? Having two crafty schemers instead of just one would only benefit his king, after all. (This has nothing to do with him having weekly meetings / venting sessions with Linguang-jun, nothing at all I say.)

But then it does end up mattering. Maybe Sha Hualing's demon invasion doesn't happen. Maybe the attack on the Immortal Alliance Conference is so well-organized that the Old Palace Master dies. Maybe Linguang-jun recognizes Binghe as Tianlang-jun's kid and the whole thing turns into a kidnapping instead. There are plenty of options, but in short: the story goes way off the rails, all because Shang Qinghua managed to make Mobei-jun and Linguang-jun set their conflict aside and work together as a team.

He doesn't exactly mind it, as such. He's much less overworked and his king is happy and it's all probably going to be fine. That's all he needs, really. The details can work themselves out over time.

[p1nkshield]

Hi 👋 This is chapter four of the Estranged Uncle Au!

Just a warning there is mentions of cults and a scene that has Damian being Damian (AKA knife child) Please take care of yourselves! I hope you enjoy!

Clark was sweating buckets.

“I promise you I’m not in danger! This is all a big misunderstanding! Bruce isn’t even that creepy!”

Jazz rattled off several reasons.

“He has a cloyingly sweet public persona, his personal computer has extensive information on all of the local rogues in the area and all the adopted sons we’ve met look practically identical to both each other and you and Danny! Not to mention they all seem trained for combat! How is that not creepy?”

Okay from an impartial standpoint Clark could see how it looked like he was tied up in a cult.

“I swear if another fruitloop billionaire obsessed with one of my family members tries to adopt me I’m gonna wail!”

How specific!

“Wail?” Clark began to ask but was cut off.

“Are you tied up in a cult Clark? Because we can get you out if you are! I … uh know a guy who specializes in taking down cults.”

What?

“I promise you I’m not in a cult! The blue eyes and black hair is a coincidence and I am not in danger! Also what do you mean you know a guy who specializes in taking down cults!?!”

Danny squinted.

“Hold that thought. Everyone stop talking!”

Danny reached towards Clark’s shoulder and picked out a small device, no bigger than a grain of rice out of his cable knit sweater.

“No one who plants listening devices into sweaters isn’t creepy.”

He then promptly threw it to the ground and crushed it with his heel.

“That’s the end of the recording.” Tim said while cringing.

“Sleazy?!? Me? Sleazy? I did a back handspring on hardwood floors for them and they call me sleazy?!”

Dick thought that he could win them over. Was he too heavy handed?

“It’s probably because you fell asleep in the pico de gallo timber.” Jason joked as he inspected the weapons vault.

“What? Me?!? I was the only one who made any headway! I was just up late trying to track whoever was hacking us!” Tim defended.

“Well good news! You found ‘em! Let me know when they hack my library account seeing as the Big bad bat computer is being hacked by a couple teens.” Jason said dismissively as he took a flamethrower fuel canister.

Bruce was experiencing a new amalgamation of emotions. He was both incredibly embarrassed, incredibly amused and incredibly impressed.

How embarrassing that the bat computer was hacked! He put so much effort into the protection of his data!

But then again Clark must be beside himself trying to convince them he wasn’t in a cult and that was incredibly amusing. He even said all the things that people said when they were in denial about being in a cult!

This was absurd! The only way to describe this was absurd!

“Fools! All of you do not truly understand the gravitas of the situation! If they believe that we are indeed weapons dealers they may snoop further and compromise all of our secret identities!” Damian huffed his way into the view of his family.

“We’ll be alright Dami, Tim is reinforcing our defenses for the computer and we’re going to try and disengage for a while. If we keep on trying we might make it worse.” Dick ruffled through Damian’s hair despite many protests.

Damian tutted at this suggestion. They needed to approach the problem head on and quickly rectify the situation lest it spiral into a larger one. Perhaps if they suffered an accident.

“Damian! I know that face! That’s the face you make when you go off and try to rectify the situation by yourself!”

“That is not true Grayson! I was simply thinking about confiding in my companion about how tedious my science project is.”

“You promise you’re only going to engage in age appropriate activities like science homework and book reports?”

“I promise.”

"I'm choosing to believe you" Dick began to walk away before pulling another sour face. "...Sleazy?"

Damian checked his hidden blades one final time before encroaching upon this Daniel Fenton who had foolishly entered an alleyway. He deftly held a knife to the throat of his target.

"If you continue to snoop into my father's business I will not hesitate to cut you down!"

Damian was expecting to me met with fear and copious apologies. He was a fearsome and terrifying warrior after all.

"Are you trying to hold me at knifepoint on your tippy-toes?" The target said in the same tone that one would use with a kitten trying to jump a bit too high. They should be focused on the clear danger Damian was posing. Or at least the danger he was posing. Between the moment Damian looked at his feet and the moment he looked back up to find a very unperturbed Danny.

"Did your father put you up to this?" He asked.

"No! I acted of my own accord!"

"Well are there anymore ineffective threats you want to say?"

Damian was about to say something when his stomach audibly growled. Curses! He could not bring a meal in order to maintain secrecy from Alfred! Damian slowly looked up towards Danny's face. He has that look that Grayson gets before he does something annoying like ruffle his hair.

"Are you hungry?"

Damian did not dignify this question with an answer and began to storm off.

"I'm having some friends over, we can spare you a plate! My friend Sam chose the menu though so its vegan."

Damian stopped in his tracks.

"What is it that you are making?"

"Cauliflower gnocchi with cashew cream pesto."

"And this is taking place in Clark's home?"

"yep."

"Fine. But I will not be lenient with you because you've offered me a meal!"

Danny laughed and texted Sam

"Hey get another bundle of basil Im bringing a guest"