#he has never even told me it's okay with him or that he still loves me or any of the standard platitudes
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Hi!!! i just saw the pictures of Carlos x 2 content for his last driver w ferrari and since there’s already a lot on piastri sis bonding with reyes, can we have piastri sis bonding with Carlos sr too
🥺👉🏼👈🏼
i really wanted to take on this request! i love my little bitches so much 🥹
The early morning Maranello sun caught the Ferrari badges as you walked hand-in-hand with Carlos toward the garage. His grip was slightly tighter than usual, betraying the emotion he was trying to contain.
"Ready?" you squeezed his hand.
"No," he admitted quietly. "But yes."
Carlos Sr. was already there, talking with the mechanics, but his face lit up when he saw you both. "Mis hijos!" [my kids]
Charles was there too, leaning against the garage wall in his puffer jacket. He straightened when he saw Carlos, and there was a moment of shared understanding between the teammates - soon to be former teammates.
"Don't make it weird, Leclerc," Carlos tried to joke.
"Me? Never," but Charles's voice was suspiciously rough as he pulled Carlos into a hug. "Save the tears for later, no?”
"Who's crying? I'm not crying."
"Of course not," you rolled your eyes fondly.
While Charles dragged Carlos off to inspect the cars, Carlos Sr. pulled you aside.
"How is he really?"
You watched Carlos run his hands over the Ferrari's nose cone, Charles pointing out something that made them both laugh.
"Emotional. Trying not to show it."
"Like his father," Carlos Sr. smiled sadly.
"Exactly like his father."
He chuckled, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "You know, when he first told me about you, I knew."
"Knew what?"
"That you would understand us. The Sainz men - we feel everything so deeply, even when we pretend we don't."
"I noticed," you smiled. "The dramatic genes run strong."
"Hey!" but he was laughing. "We're not dramatic!"
"Carlos cried over a pizza last week."
"It was an emotional pizza!"
"See? Dramatic."
His expression softened. "You're good for him. For all of us. You understand this life, this passion."
"It's my life too."
"Si, it is. And..." he hesitated. "I want you to know, whatever comes next, whatever team, whatever challenges - you're our family. Mine and Reyes's daughter, not just Carlos' girlfriend."
Your throat tightened. "I- "
"No crying!" he warned, but pulled you closer. "We save tears for after, yes?"
"Charles said the same thing."
"Charles is smart boy. Sometimes."
Across the garage, Carlos and Charles were now arguing about something, gesturing wildly at the car while mechanics pretended not to laugh.
"Should we save them?" you asked.
"Let them have this moment," Carlos Sr. squeezed your shoulder. "Soon enough..."
You both watched as Carlos ran his hand along the Ferrari's sidepod, the gesture almost reverent.
"He'll be okay," you assured Carlos Sr.
"Of course he will. He has you."
"He has all of us."
"Si," Carlos Sr. nodded. "Always family first."
Charles's voice carried across the garage: "Carlos, stop being dramatic!"
"I'm not being dramatic!"
"You're stroking the car!"
"It's a goodbye caress!"
"See?" Carlos Sr. grinned. "Not dramatic at all."
You laughed, leaning into his embrace. "Not even a little bit."
Later, the garage had emptied, leaving just the two of you. Carlos was still in his race suit, pushed down to his waist, his Ferrari shirt underneath damp with emotion and exertion. He stood there, hand resting on the car's nose, lost in thought.
"Hey, little bitch," you said softly, coming up behind him.
He laughed wetly, not turning around. "Only you could make that sound loving."
"It's a gift."
When he finally faced you, his eyes were red but his smile was real. You reached up to wipe a smudge of tear track from his cheek.
"Last dance in red," you murmured.
"Was it good?"
"Perfect. You and your dad... that was something special."
He pulled you close, burying his face in your neck. You could feel him trembling slightly, letting go of the composure he'd held all day.
"I've got you," you whispered, running your fingers through his hair. "Let it out, baby.”
"I thought I was ready," his voice was muffled against your skin.
"You were. You are. Doesn't make it easier."
He lifted his head to look at you, and your heart ached at the naked emotion in his eyes. "What would I do without you?"
"Probably cry a lot more dramatically."
"I'm not dramatic!"
"Says the man who spent ten minutes saying goodbye to each tire."
"They needed proper farewells!"
You kissed him softly, feeling him melt into you. "My dramatic little bitch.”
"Your dramatic little bitch," he agreed against your lips. He laughed, the sound echoing in the empty garage. "God, I love you."
"I know."
"Even when you're mean to me."
"Especially then."
He kissed you again, deeper this time, pouring everything he couldn't say into it.
"Ready to go home?" you asked when you finally parted.
"One more minute," he turned to look at the car one last time, keeping you tucked against his side.
"Take all the time you need."
He pressed a kiss to your temple. "As long as you're here."
#little bitch#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz fanfiction#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz fic#carlos sainz fluff#cs55 x reader#cs55 fanfiction#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfiction#f1 fanfiction
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okay. al. i need something put into words. idk if you've seen it but in "we live in time" andrew and florence didn't hear cut when filming a sex scene. so i was wondering. could you do something where eddie has taken up acting. it's an experimental movie, so y'all are actually fucking. it's unsimulated sex. y'all don't hear cut, but you're so into it that neither of you stop. you don't notice until he cums, then you both remember the cameras.
warnings: swearing, fingering oral sex, descriptive sex, sex on camera
word count: 2.3k
a/n: i saw we live in time opening week and absolutely loved it. put andrew garfield's bare ass in more movies!!!
masterlist
One of the best decisions you'd made was moving to Hollywood to pursue acting. You loved it, and you were a natural. You could make yourself cry on command, you often lost yourself in scenes, and you weren't afraid to get nude on camera. That was something that was pretty common for the 80s, specifically female nudity.
You'd filmed many sex scenes in your career, but they were all simulated. Prosthetics, body doubles, cushions between bodies. But when you were approached to do an experimental film, one with completely unsimulated sex, your curiosity was piqued.
You were told you wouldn't meet the other actor until the day of, which turned out to be the first day on set. You were told that some studios, this one included, preferred to get sex scenes out of the way first and film the rest after. Your first impression of this guy would be when you had sex with him.
So when you were sitting on set in your tight black dress — which would be removed in the scene — and he walked in, your eyes widened. He was very handsome, just your type. He had long curly black hair, he was covered in tattoos, and immediately started joking around with the crew. He was wearing a suit, one which fit his body nicely.
When he spotted you, he walked right over and sat next to you.
"You my co-star?" he asked in a hopeful tone.
"That would be me."
"Eddie." He stuck his hand out and you shook it.
"Y/N."
"You look familiar. I feel like I've seen you in something else before."
"Maybe. Sorry, but I don't recognize you."
"I haven't been in anything big, just a couple of low-budget movies." He noticed your nervous energy. "You okay?"
"What? Oh, yeah. Sorry, just... I've never done anything... real. It's always been fake sex."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Mhm."
"Well, it's a first for both of us, then. It's a first-first for me, I've never done anything like this."
"Really?"
"Yep. Never even taken my shirt off on camera."
"And you're just jumping right in, huh?"
"Why not? If I'm gonna do it, I might as well go all in."
"Well, are you at least experienced?" you joked.
"Oh, I'm experienced. Yeah." You chuckled. "Also, I was told to tell you that they had me go ahead and put a condom on so it wouldn't disrupt the flow or anything. They said you were pretty adamant about it."
"Thank god. I really don't want to leave here today pregnant."
This made both of you laugh, but it was true. That was the most important thing to you when agreeing to do this movie.
"Alright, actors in positions," announced the director, who settled into his chair next to the camera.
Before you could get up, Eddie looked back at you. "Hey, I know we'll be recording, but don't let that stop you from telling me if I'm crossing any boundaries, alright?"
"Okay."
"Promise?"
"I promise. Thank you."
"Of course."
The scene immediately started with the two of you standing at the edge of a bed, inches away from each other. So that's where you went, your calves touching the mattress.
You'd read over the script for this scene numerous times. There was a camera a few feet from the bed, and one strapped onto the ceiling above where you would be laying. Neither of you would speak, just moan.
You were getting more nervous by the second, the lack of space between you two making your heart pound.
"Hey," he whispered, making eye contact with you. "You still good?"
You nodded. "Yeah. I'm good." You got yourself into the acting mindset as they finalized the cameras. "Ready."
"Quiet on set," yelled the director. Everyone hushed, the silence making you realize how many eyes were on you. "Action!"
You reached up and slowly undid Eddie's tie, his eyes never leaving your face. Once it was on the floor, he pulled you in for a kiss. It was gentle yet deep, both of you taking in a deep breath. His hands gripped your sides, your palms flat against his chest.
He reached around you and unzipped your dress, letting it fall to the floor. He then effortlessly unhooked your bra and you pulled it off of yourself. So far this was exactly like some of the other scenes you'd filmed. It was always a little bit nerve-wracking to expose yourself on camera — how could it not be?
He pushed you down onto the bed, his knees on the edge between yours.
He wasn't supposed to kiss you as long as he did. It was only supposed to be a couple before he moved on, but he was going off script a bit. His hand cupped the breast visible to the camera, which was now a bit closer.
He began kissing down to your neck a bit, then trailing along your body. He wrapped his lips around your nipple, his tongue circling it. You couldn't help but tangle your fingers in his hair, knowing it would help the scene.
As he kissed down your body, he maintained eye contact with you, watching to make sure you were still comfortable with this. Once he was to your thighs, he knelt down next to the bed and pulled you by the legs closer to him.
He slowly pulled your underwear off, dropping them on top of your dress. He continued to leave kisses on your thighs, making a genuine and impatient whine escape your mouth.
The feeling of his tongue on your clit made you gasp, your hands immediately finding their way back to his hair. This was weird with cameras, and at first it made it hard for you to really get in the mood.
But he was good with his tongue. You were so used to fake moaning that the real ones that came out of you felt foreign. His hands on your thighs, keeping them spread, were also keeping your hips still.
Usually when you filmed cunnilingus scenes, they kept their mouth closed and just positioned their face between your legs. So it was a foreign feeling to actually be eaten out on camera.
He couldn't stop staring at you, you looked so beautiful. Your head thrown back, back arched, tits out and nipples hard, fingers pulling his hair.
He wasn't supposed to make you cum, the script didn't call for it. He was supposed to do this for about thirty seconds and move on to the actual sex. But he was told that if the scene lasted too long, they could just edit it down. So he decided before even meeting you that he would make sure you had at least one orgasm today.
And it didn't take you long to get there. The camera had moved now so that it was behind him and to the side, getting a shot of his back and your face simultaneously.
"Fuck," you whispered to yourself as you felt your orgasm approaching, and fast. You were worried about how you would look, actually cumming and being recorded. You were trying to remain as calm as you possibly could, but you'd never been eaten out like this.
You were much louder than you anticipated when you finally came, and Eddie had to hold you down to keep you in the shot. When he finally stopped, he was immediately back to kissing you. He was still fully clothed, so you pushed his jacket off of his shoulders.
Instead of unbuttoning his shirt, he just pulled it over his head. He had a beautiful body, and you couldn't take your eyes off of him. You reached down and helped remove his belt, but he took over a moment later.
Within a minute, he was completely nude, and you got a good view of what he was packing. You were told before the shoot that you'd be having unprotected sex, and as you were already on birth control, it wasn't that big of a deal to you. Or at least, it wasn't until you were finally here. Now it was sinking in that you were about to be creampied by a guy you just met less than five minutes ago.
He was already rock hard, the sounds that escaped your mouth having gotten him bricked up immediately. He loved giving oral. It was one of his favorite things in the world. If it was up to him, he would've kept going, gotten you completely out of your mind before fucking your brains out.
He positioned himself back at eye level with you, reaching down and lining himself up with your entrance.
"That okay?" he whispered into your neck as he pressed kisses to your skin. He wasn't supposed to say that, the script calling for no dialogue aside from the natural swears that would occur. But he'd already gone against it, and asking for consent was something he insisted on.
"Mm," you moaned simply, nodding as minimally as possible.
With zero hesitation, he pushed into you, and the gasp that filled the room was almost comical. It was such a perfect porno moan that you couldn't believe it was genuine, even though it came from you.
He stretched you out so much, so perfectly, you weren't sure you could handle much of this. It was almost too much, too good.
He engulfed your mouth into his, kissing you deeply as he immediately picked up his pace. The bed was already squeaking, and your chest was already red.
The camera was above your head now, recording from an angle that showed the top of your thighs and your head thrown back as Eddie began sucking hickeys onto the skin of your neck.
That was when the scene was supposed to end. It was the shortest one in the script, which was another reason they wanted to get it over with first. But when the director shouted "Cut!", neither of you could hear him over the animalistic moans you both were letting out.
In fact, he called it about three times. But you two were so immersed, and your moans were so loud in each other's ears that it was useless. After a moment and after all the equipment was put down, the entire crew left the room and just allowed you to finish.
Out of all the times you'd had sex before, you didn't expect the best to be a completely scripted one. Eddie wasn't lying when he said he was experienced, he knew how to hit every nook in cranny in you like it was the millionth time.
When he felt himself getting close, he reached down and began circling your clit with his thumb. In the movies he'd seen, they always came at the same time. That didn't happen much in real life, but he wanted to make it look cinematic because, to his knowledge, they were still filming.
You gasped at the sudden contact, not expecting it. Thirty seconds later, you were cumming in sync, moaning into each other's mouths. He kept it going as long as he could but eventually he had to stop. Both his and your legs were trembling, sweat beading on your upper lip.
He kissed you for a moment, thinking in his head how great that would look on camera.
But when you both looked over at where the crew was, they were gone. You were confused, wondering why they didn't film as much as possible.
"Oh my god," you said, looking back up at Eddie. "Did they yell cut?"
His eyes widened. "Did they?"
"Did you hear them at all?"
"No, I didn't. Did you?"
"No."
You couldn't help but giggle at the situation. "Holy fucking shit."
"Jesus Christ, what the fuck."
"That's kind of hilarious."
He pulled out of you, pulling the condom off before grabbing one of the robes from the crates behind the camera, tossing another one to you. He opened the door to the rest of the set and the crew's heads shot up to look at him.
"Did... you yell cut?" he asked the director.
"Yep. Three times. You guys were so into it we figured we'd just let you finish."
That was when you laughed even harder, your head fuzzy and body tired.
After everything was cleaned up and you were heading back to your trailers, you caught up with Eddie outside his.
"Sorry we didn't hear cut earlier," you apologized.
"I'm not." He smirked slyly, and you felt butterflies flutter in your stomach.
"Do you think you'd do something like this again? Real sex on a set?"
He shrugged. "Maybe. With the right person."
"Well, if I get another opportunity like this, you're the first person I'm recommending."
"God, please do." His voice was raspy now, seductive, sultry. Normally you didn't pay any mind to men who flirted with you. But something about actually fucking Eddie seemed to form some kind of bond, maybe just in your head.
You reached into your pocket and pulled out a napkin, which had your phone number written on it. You leaned in close, wanting this to stay between the two of you.
"Well, if you ever want to do something without cameras, call me." You turned around to walk to your trailer, his eyes glued to your ass the whole time.
He swore he could get rock hard again right now if he wanted to. Something was different about you. You were one of the best fucks he'd ever had, and he intended on using that phone number sometime soon.
#*#*fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#smut#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson oneshot#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson smut#joseph quinn smut#joseph quinn fanfic#joseph quinn fanfiction#stranger things#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things smut#stranger things imagine#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x reader smut
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Octavia’s reaction is 100% justified, actually
So I already made an entire reblog about this but I feel as if this topic is deserving of being its own post because the fandom’s reaction to Octavia has hit a new low. I’m just gonna paste what I said from this reblog here.
So think of this; young girl living in a home with a close relationship to her father. The father is always there to comfort the young girl and even sang a song when she was little as a lullaby to help her sleep due to having nightmares of her father not being there for her, telling her that no matter what, he’ll never leave and she will always be okay.
Cut to many years later, and, suddenly, things change. The father that the young girl held close to…suddenly cheats on his wife and starts obsessing over a random imp over her, even to the point of making sexual remarks about him around her even when she’s uncomfortable. Everything was turned upside down for her, the parents who previously loved each other now loathe on another, and now the father who held his daughter dear starts neglecting her in favor of this random imp.
Which leads the daughter to grow a fear that her father will leave her in favor of that imp, a perfectly understandable one given that it was established before that she has fears of abandonment. THEN when that father takes the daughter to a carnival that she hated when she was a child, he spends most of the day flirting with that imp on the trip that was SUPPOSED TO CHEER HER UP. The daughter gets fed up with this and runs off where the father follows suit. The daughter expresses her fears of abandonment to her father and asks him if he is really going to leave her in favor of that imp. The father says no, realizing his mistake and assures her that he’ll never leave her and decides to take her to a place she actually enjoys as a way to make up for that…
…and then cut to 17 episodes later where the daughter then witnesses her father THROWING HIS LIFE AWAY ON LIVE TELEVISION FOR AN IMP. He told her that he would never leave her, that he wouldn’t chose that imp over her…and he does that with no hesitation. Without even telling her. Octavia doesn’t know shit about whatever close relationship Blitz and Stolas have, to her, Blitz is just some random nobody imp that Stolas is for some reason horny over.
And this effectively cements to Octavia that, she doesn’t matter to her father. He really would choose an imp over her. Sinmass further drives this home with a heart breaking song Octavia sings that offers as a dark reprise of you will be okay, as Octavia sings about her resentment and heart break over her father betraying her trust, for LYING to her. She says she’ll never be the same now and fully accepts the fact that Stolas cares more about Blitz than her. And she then finds out that Stolas was taking anti-depressant pills, making her believe that she was just nothing but a burden, an obligation to Stolas this whole time.
If she wasn’t, why would he leave her without hesitation? It’s infuriating to me how the one time the show has good writting the fandom STILL makes insane arguments trying to defend Stolas.
Is Stolas allowed to form other relationships outside of Octavia? Yea, he is, but that’s not the issue. The issue is that Stolas was placing those new relationships above his old ones, he chose Blitz over Octavia, his daughter, his FAMILY.
”probably called her a million times” actually we saw him call once and Octavia was happy to answer until Stella wouldn’t let her, taking Octavia’s phone and mocking Stolas for trying to call her. Octavia doesn’t see the whole picture because SHE DOESNT HAVE THE WHOLE PICTURE! Stolas never communicated ANYTHING to her, not about what was going on between him and Stella, and not about his relationship with Blitz. Stolas didn’t give Octavia ANY information about what was going on and guess what? Seeing Stars and Sinmass show the exact consequences of that.
In Seeing Stars Octavia runs away to try and see the stars for herself because Stolas was focusing more on arguing with Stella than her, which leads Octavia to thinking that Stolas hates Stella more than he loves her, and she wouldn’t have started believing that IF STOLAS COMMUNICATED AND TOLD HER ABOUT THE ABUSE DURING OF THEIR MARRIAGE. Therefore she would be more understanding.
And in Sinmas, If Stolas ever explained to Octavia at any point in the show the full context of his relationship with Blitz, that would, at the very least, make Octavia understand his decision. Yet he never did. Octavia doesn’t have the full context for ANY of these situations because Stolas for SOME REASON never communicated to her.
And can people just fuck off with the whole “omg Octavia is such an immature/selfish teenager!” BECAUSE SHES NOT!! She’s not being a bratty, emotional teen for *checks notes* wanting attention from her father. Sinsmas is legitimately one of the best episodes of season 2 because it actually addresses Stolas acts as a father and calls him out for it, creating drama that doesn’t feel artificial for once and ends up being a step in the right direction for both Stolas AND Octavia as characters. But it’s sad to me that some people still miss blatantly obvious details like this.
Octavia is not a bratty teenager having a tantrum, she’s a girl that had her life turned upside down and is suffering through a divorce. I wish most of the fandom would actually see that.
#vivziepop critical#hazbin hotel critical#vivziepop criticism#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#octavia deserves better#anti stolitz#anti stolas
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the way you love
pairing: george russell x reader
summary: loving george russell is as easy as breathing sometimes, especially with the way he loves you. loosely inspired by stardust by zayn. (2.8k)
a/n: welcome to the first of four holiday fics! i'm hoping to post one a day until christmas eve, so stay tuned :)
Maybe you should’ve waited inside for George to pick you up.
Granted, you haven't been out here long, and you know he’ll be here soon, but it’s cold. Frigid wind whips your hair around your face, scraping over your skin harshly.
You nuzzle a little deeper into your scarf in a poor attempt to protect your cheeks.
The two cardboard cups clutched in your hands do help a little with the biting cold. One for you, one for George, both filled to the brim with steaming coffee from the little shop down the street from your building.
They’ve rolled out their holiday cups today, as noted by the festive little scene printed across the sleeve. It makes you smile, and you think George will probably like it too.
George’s sleek car pulls up in front of you with a gentle rumble not long later. You’re expecting him to be smiling when he gets out, but when his head pops over the roof of the car, he just looks concerned.
“Blimey, have you been waiting out here the entire time?” He exclaims incredulously, rounding the front of the car quickly.
You barely have time to nod before he’s easing the cups out of your grip. Only once they’re secured into cup holders inside the car does he grab your hands, bringing them up to his mouth to breathe a little warmth back into them.
“Didn’t want you to have to wait on me,” You say, as if it’s any excuse to have been standing in the freezing cold. Really, you just wanted to see George as soon as he came to pick you up. You’ve just seen him only last week, but it feels like forever.
“Darling, it’s freezing,” He reasons. He’s smiling now, despite the attempt to keep his firm composure.
You frown. “I missed you.”
He kisses you instead of answering, short and sweet, but still bursting with affection.
“Hi,” You say softly, nuzzling deeper into his broad palm after he pulls back an inch or two. His thumbs swipe over your cheeks, bringing some more much needed heat back into your skin. You won’t tell him, but your nose had been starting to lose a bit of feeling.
“Hi. I missed you too,” He replies, fondness dripping from his tone.
“Yeah?”
“Of course. Longest five days of my life.”
That makes you grin even harder, pushing forward for another quick kiss. “Mine too.”
“Glad we feel the same.” He looks very pleased. “Shall we get a move on? We’re a little early, but I know how much you hate being late to things. I even told Alex to expect us early.”
You’re set to head to Alex Albon’s Christmas party in a little bit. George goes every year, but this is the first time you’re going too. You’re excited, nervous, and a little bit scared at the prospect of finally getting to meet all of George’s friends at one time. You've met a handful of them individually, gradually, George happily introducing you as his girlfriend every time, but never in such a large social setting like this party.
You aren’t quite sure what to expect, but if the ones you haven’t met are anything like the ones you have, you’ll be just fine.
“And what did he say about that?”
“That Lily is relieved someone competent is coming round to help out, so I’d say he’s pretty okay with it,” George says, chuckling. “C’mon, let's get you out of the cold.”
You allow George to help you into the car, letting out a comfortable sigh at the blazing warmth of the car interior. George has always liked to keep your shared spaces running hot despite your wishing for the opposite, but for the first time ever, you’re actually grateful for your boyfriend’s temperature preference.
“Nice, isn’t it?” He teases as he climbs into the driver’s seat, nudging at your shoulder. “See, I told you you’d come around someday.”
“Only because it’s cold as shit outside,” You huff, rolling your eyes playfully. “I got you coffee.”
“Thank you, darling. Though I wish you hadn’t sacrificed your health to do so.”
“I know you had another late night yesterday, thought you might be tired. It’s fine, really, I didn’t mind,” You insist, shaking your head.
“You’re very sweet,” George says softly, leaning over the center to press a kiss to your cheek.
You’re not sure what comes over you, but you turn at the last moment so he catches your lips instead. He lets out a noise of surprise, but has no hesitation in kissing you back happily, slipping a hand around the back of your neck to pull you closer.
You kiss and kiss and kiss until your lips start to tingle, and even then, you’re reluctant to pull away. There’s something intoxicating about kissing George that makes you want to do it forever.
“If we stay here any longer, we might actually end up being late,” George murmurs. He blinks at you, long lashes fluttering open and shut slowly. His breath fans across your skin on every exhale, cologne invading your senses until all that surrounds you is him.
“That would be bad.”
“Mm, awful,” He agrees. Still, he doesn’t make any attempt to pull away, perfectly content here, hiding away with you in the coziness of your close proximity. His nose drags along your cheek, lips following the path until he reaches the corner of your mouth.
You exhale shakily. “Alex and Lily are expecting us.”
“They are.”
“So we should go.”
“I mean, we don’t have to…” George trails off, letting his head tilt to the side.
“Yes, we do. Someone roped us into helping with party prep.”
He sighs rather heavily, handsome features screwing into overdramatic annoyance. “Starting to regret that right about now.” That makes you giggle. “Alright, fine. Let’s get this over with so we can go home.”
“There’s that holiday spirit!”
The drive over to Alex’s is fairly short. It actually takes more time to make yourselves presentable and not at all like you’ve just been making out in the car, before making your way up to Alex and Lily’s. George has brought presents for both of your friends—a watch for Alex and a bottle of perfume for Lily, he’d informed you in the elevator, bought by him, but a gift from the both of you.
The door swings open with a blast of music and the smell of something delicious not seconds after you knock. Alex stands just behind it with a gracious smile on his face and a flute of something bubbly in hand.
“Hi, welcome—oh, thank god you’re here,” He breathes. Then he stops, stares at the two of you for a few moments, as if he’s studying the both of you. A knowing smirk quirks his lips right after. “George, you’ve got lipstick on your chin, mate.”
George’s hand flies up to his face, rubbing furiously. His cheeks have flushed an embarrassed pink at his friend’s smug observation.
“I’m just kidding. But it was funny to see you panic,” Alex snickers.
“Ha ha, hilarious. Maybe I won’t give you this gift after all.”
Alex takes both boxes eagerly, tucking them under his arm with a wink. “Come on in, friends.”
The flat is decorated tastefully—festive, but not gaudy. You assume Lily had done most of the decor rather than Alex.
Speaking of—
“You’re here!!! Thank god!” Lily exclaims, barely paying George any mind before she whisks you away, chattering away immediately, wanting your opinions on everything from the appetizers to the seating arrangements at dinner. You cast a helpless glance over your shoulder at your boyfriend, who merely gives you an amused wave back.
You do what Lily tells you needs finishing up until the rest of the guests start to make their arrival. Most of the other drivers are in attendance, save for a few who’d opted to spend the holidays home with their families. Charles and Carlos are here, Lando and Oscar, Yuki, Pierre, Zhou and Franco, to name a few.
The bundle of nerves in your chest starts to unravel as more familiar faces trickle in, and you’re able to catch up with a couple of them. You’re chatting with Kika and Pierre about what’s new with Simba when a hand touches the small of your back.
Instantly, you know it's George. His touch is the only one that sends butterflies through you. That’s never happened with anyone else before, but with George, you feel alight with a certain energy every time.
You lean back into him on instinct, tilting your head up to look at him. His cheeks are slightly rosy, hair still perfectly coiffed, save for one curl that has escaped to hang over his forehead. You reach up to brush it back and he smiles, sliding a hand around your waist.
“So sorry to interrupt, you lot. Just wanted to pop in and see if anybody needed a refresher on their drinks,” He offers, though his gaze rests solely on you.
“Thank you, but we’re good, mate,” Pierre replies, as Kika shakes her head to decline too.
George says your name, lips lifting into a small smile as he juts his chin at your nearly empty glass.
“Thank you, Georgie,” You say gratefully. “Don’t forget to—”
“Make it sweeter? Yes, I know how you take your drinks, darling,” He hums, kissing your cheek quickly before retreating with your glass.
“You’ve trained him well,” Pierre teases, winking at you.
“I think he was born that way,” You admit.
That isn’t a lie. According to George’s sister, who you’d had the pleasure of meeting a few months back, he'd always been very kind, very caring, even when he was young. It’s one of the many qualities of his that has you falling in love with him a little more with every passing day.
George leaves you to your own conversations after bringing you your drink, but you see him periodically throughout the night. He always looks like the life of the conversation, talking animatedly, listening with rapt attention when he’s not yapping away.
Even as he’s listening intently, it’s like he can sense you’re looking at him, because he finds you almost instantly, sending a smile or a wink your way. That’s another lovable quality of his—knowing where you are even when he’s not with you. Like you’re two magnets being pulled towards each other at all times.
The more you chat with everyone else, one thing becomes obvious. George talks about you a lot. Not enough to be obnoxious, but he's mentioned you to many of his friends.
Charles knows you’ve been looking into learning how to play the piano because George had asked him something about which pianos were the best. Yuki offers up a few cooking tips because George had mentioned you wanted to try your hand at a new dish. Lewis congratulates you on a big project you’d finished at work a while back, telling you that George had been singing your praises in the garage right after you'd called.
If you look back at it, George has always been one of your biggest supporters.
Always wanting you to call him whenever something big happens because he can’t be there all the time, always doing things for you when he’s away so you never for a moment feel like he's not thinking of you. Sending you flowers, ordering you food from your favorite spot in Monaco even though he's a thousand miles away because he knows it’ll make you smile. Even just texting you a picture of something he saw that made him think of you.
George makes you feel so, so loved, all the time. Like, wherever you are in the world, no matter, everything will be okay because you’ve got him. You could be on some far off deserted island in the middle of nowhere with nothing but the land to live off of, but if George is there with you, it wouldn’t be all that bad.
Sometimes you wonder what your life would’ve been like if you’d never met him, but you never get far with those thoughts. You can’t even imagine what life would look like without George Russell. And honestly, you don’t really want to.
“Ready to head out?” George’s voice draws you out of your thoughts, and when you refocus, he’s right in front of you, holding out your coat. For a moment, you can only stand there, blinking back at him like you’ve just laid eyes on him for the first time ever.
He falters a little under your intense staring. “Darling? Are you alright? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”
“Sorry, yeah. I’m fine, I’m just…tired, I think.”
“Let’s go home then. Stay the night at mine?”
“Duh,” You say. Your obvious tone makes George chuckle a little bit as he helps you slip into your coat.
“How silly of me to even ask.”
After finding your hosts to thank them for the great evening and subsequently being invited for a game of doubles padel with them one of these days, you're off.
“I don’t have any skin cleanser,” You say suddenly, just as George has pulled onto the main road.
“What?”
“At your place. I don’t have my cleanser, the one I always use before bed.”
“The one in the little green bottle?”
“Yeah.” You frown, slumping back in your seat. In hindsight, it’s really not the biggest deal in the world, and you’re not sure why you’re making it one. But for some reason right now, you’re focused on it.
“Lucky for you, your wonderful boyfriend bought a bottle just in case this happened. He figured you’d probably forget it one of these days.”
“Is there a reason my wonderful boyfriend is referring to himself in the third person?” You giggle, shifting in your seat to face said thoughtful boyfriend. George’s cheeks are flushed a little pink.
“Yeah, I thought it was a little weird too. Anyways, there’s a bottle in the bathroom cupboard.”
“Thank you, Georgie. You’re always so thoughtful.”
“Y’know, you could just move in with me. That way you won’t have to worry about not having things at mine anymore.” He doesn’t take his eyes off the road as he speaks, but you can see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows nervously. “You’ve already got loads of stuff there anyways, why not just bring it all? You wouldn’t have to drive across the city every time you come over, for one.”
“I barely drive to yours anyways, you know. You always insist on picking me up,” You tease. George smiles, but you can tell he’s serious about wanting you to move in with him. You sigh, squeezing his hand. “Babe, I’d love nothing more, but…I could never afford to live with you.”
“I’m not going to have you pay rent or anything like that, darling. I wouldn't ask that of you.” George’s nose wrinkles, like it’s absurd of you to even think about it. “Just your company would be more than enough, honestly. Make the place less empty, more like…home.”
You can already imagine it. Falling asleep next to each other every night, waking up tangled together every morning, getting to come home and unwind with each other after long days. Breakfasts and afternoon teas and dinners you’d make together in George’s massive kitchen. Your stuff mingling with his in every room of the place.
Maybe you’d adopt a pet together one day, one that could keep you company every time George was away for races.
“Okay,” You say softly. You’ve already convinced yourself. “Let’s live together.”
George pulls to a stop at the red light, taking the opportunity to lean over into your space and kiss you gently. “Let’s do it, darling.”
Taking the next step in your relationship seems daunting, but George will be there to soothe any anxieties you have. He always is.
“Oh no! We forgot about the coffee.” He frowns, plucking the still full cup out of the holder suddenly. Then he shrugs, taking a giant sip of it. “Cute cup.”
“George, it’s cold!” You exclaim, tugging at his sleeve. “Just throw it out when we get home.”
“It tastes fine!”
“It’s probably stale.”
“I think it’s delicious.”
“You’re so weird.”
He chooses to ignore the muttered quip, letting a giant grin stretch his lips instead, eyes gleaming with excitement. “You called it home.”
“Well, it is now, isn’t it? Or will be soon enough.”
“Sure will. I’m thinking we move you in tomorrow.”
You chuckle, shaking your head at his enthusiasm. “I have to get out of my lease first. It might take a while too, my landlord is kind of an asshole.”
“I’ll give him double whatever you’re paying right now to let you out of it early. No, triple.”
“I don’t think he’d appreciate bribery, but he is a Mercedes fan.”
“Paddock passes and VIP club access to Monaco next season, done.”
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#george russell#george russell x reader#gr63#gr63 x reader#george russell x fem!reader#george russell x you#gr63 x fem!reader#george russell fic#george russell fluff
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Sirius Black is known as the office Grinch, so what has suddenly gotten into him?
You Make It Feel Like Christmas
You Make It Feel Like Christmas - Gwen Stefani
“You're delusional.”
“I'm not!”
“You must be.”
“No, I swear,” Benjy hisses.
“Well, maybe you misheard,” Hestia offers.
Benjy huffs. “You think I would not recognize ‘Jingle Bells’?”
Emmeline shakes her head. “Anything is more likely than Mr Black humming that song.”
“He was in front of me at the coffee machine,” Benjy says. “And I swear I heard him do it!”
You see, the reason why the mere idea of Sirius Black walking around the office humming ‘Jingle Bells’ is so preposterous, is because Sirius Black is known as the office Grinch.
The man dislikes everything that's even remotely related to Christmas.
When Mary and Dorcas were hanging the Christmas lights, Mr Black commented on energy savings for the office and the necessity of cutting down on the electricity bill. In his opinion, Christmas was a huge waste of energy in its entirety. No one actually knew if he was still talking about electricity.
When the first Christmas song was played on the radio, Mr Black pointedly put on his noise canceling headphones. Plus, he actually has no idea who Mariah Carey is, which is shocking in its own right.
When Edgar came to work wearing his Christmas jumper, Mr Black reported him for inappropriate work attire (though luckily Lily from HR simply told him to get over it).
Moreover, Mr Black constantly complains that Christmas Day is an obligatory day off, instead of him being able to save his vacation hours for, in his words, ‘when he actually needs them’.
He has also called Christmas markets a trick to sell junk no one needs, he's known to think that a gift certificate makes for the best Christmas gift, and that black coffee tastes better than any hot chocolate ever could.
“Okay, I'm actually getting really worried,” Caradoc whispers as they convene at the coffee machine.
“Me too,” Edgar replies in a concerned voice. “Maybe he's come down with some sort of illness?”
“Did you guys hear what he said when he saw the little Christmas tree on my desk?” Mary hisses. “He said it looked ‘nice’. Nice! No eye roll, no sarcastic undertone. Just nice.”
“I almost had a heart attack when I saw his tie this morning,” Emmeline says faintly. “I mean, tiny snowmen?”
Dorcas bites her lip. “Could it be some sort of brain disease?”
“Or maybe he hit his head and he has a concussion?” Benjy offers.
“Should we like… take him to the hospital or something?” Fabian asks.
“Gosh,” Hestia says. “Why are you all so negative? Maybe he just finally caught the Christmas spirit!”
“Excuse me?”
Everyone pauses their work to look at the man who appeared in the doorway to their office. He's got floppy, honey-coloured hair, is wearing a rather tattered coat and is carrying a box with a bow tied around it.
“I'm looking for-”
“Remus!” Mr Black jumps to his feet. “What are you doing here?”
A light colouring appears on the man's cheeks as he looks at Mr Black and he smiles a little sheepishly. “I hope I'm not disturbing you?”
Mr Black closes his laptop without giving it a second look. “Not at all! I can always make time,” says the man who once almost made Gideon cry because he dared ask him a question while he was in the middle of an Excel sheet.
“Great,” the box-carrying man, Remus, grins, and despite the scars on his face, it makes him look strangely endearing. “My mum and I baked Christmas cookies, and we, of course, made way too much for just us, so I thought I'd drop by your office to bring some?”
“That's so sweet of you!” Mr Black happily takes over the box. “I absolutely love Christmas cookies,” says Mr Black, who has never even touched any of the cookies Caradoc baked for the office.
“I see you're wearing the tie I gave you,” Remus says.
“Of course,” Mr Black replies. “It's my favourite.”
“That's good,” Remus smiles softly.
They both just look at each other for a moment, while the rest of the office exchanges looks.
Then Remus averts his eyes and looks down at his shoes. “You know, I was wondering…” He begins. “Would you like to go and look at the Christmas lights together tonight? It may sound cheesy, but they're actually really pretty and it's one of my favourite Christmas activities to-”
“I would love to!” Mr Black replies a little breathless. “I've been really wanting to go and see the lights.”
Mary makes an indignant sound, but both men hardly seem to notice there's anyone else in the room.
“Great!” Remus looks up and beams at Mr Black. “And I was thinking that maybe we could visit the Christmas market and drink some hot chocolate together?”
“I love the Christmas market,” Sirius replies without skipping a beat. “And I'd love to drink hot chocolate with you.”
“Good. Great. Perfect,” Remus says. “So, it's… it's a date?” The colouring on his cheeks increases.
"It's a date,” Mr Black agrees.
Both men stare at each other for a long moment, having completely forgotten there's a room full of people looking at them, people who start shifting uncomfortably in their chairs.
Remus is first to snap out of it. “I… I
I should let you get back to work.”
“Work,” Mr Black repeats, like he's trying to remember what the word means. “Right. Work.”
“See you tonight?” Remus asks.
“Can't wait,” Mr Black replies.
As Remus leaves and Mr Black turns back to the room, everyone immediately turns to their computer, pretending to be working.
Hestia exchanges a look with Emmeline.
Sirius Black definitely caught something alright, but it ain't Christmas spirit.
#grinch sirius black#office au#wolfstar holiday fluff#wolfstar christmas fics#wolfstar christmas#wolfstar#wolfstar fanfiction#wolfstar fic#sirius black#remus lupin#remus x sirius
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dec. 22 ✧ day nine ✧ gingerbread house decorating kaiser x reader fluff <3 notes: reader is described as a woman that is arguably not feminine, but a woman all the same, with some personality.
The living room is in an array when he gets home, to say the least.
So many square-shaped cookes are laid out across the dining table, peppermint candies and candycanes are stuck carefully to a half-propped house. You come out of the kitchen with a bowl in hand, and the way your face immediately lights up at the sight of him makes him almost forget the mess.
"Mihya! You're home!" You go to kiss him, and you taste sweet, icing sugar on your lips that has him pulling you in just a little deeper.
He wraps an arm around his waist. "I'm home, love. And you're…" He gestures to the room.
"Gingerbread house making!"
Right. Clearly.
You pull him into the dining room with you, down onto the bench, and drag the half-made house right in front of him, along with a completed little gingerbread square. He does it almost unthinkingly, taking it from you as he watches you prance, moving from standing to sitting as you hum and decorate.
It's warm, he notices. The cookie in his hand, your body next to his, his heart in his chest.
It reminds him of something you've told him before, much before he'd ever gotten down on one knee. That you don't know if you hold femininity in a traditional sense. That you will not make a home out of a kitchen, or twirl in a garden for him to admire. He's never asked that of you, anyways.
A woman, you're sure to tell him that about yourself. More hard edges than softness, more direct than easygoing. But a woman, nonetheless. And having you lay gingerbread cookies all over the dining room table, icing snowed over your shirt and pants, standing over the miniature cookie-bricked house so that you get the angle just right… That's more than he's ever asked for.
He flicks edible glitter into your face with his hand, watching as you flinch.
"Mihya!" You laugh, so wholeheartedly it almost catches him off-guard, making him laugh in return. He presses the wall of the cookie house to the base cookie, balancing it carefully.
You hold walls around your heart. He understands it, he's done the same for so long. But you opened up yours for him anyways, let him into your world with each fragmented, stained-glass piece.
It's in the watching of a mirror, he thinks. The way you first react to pull away to touch, your innate uncomfortableness to the love your friends extend. And then it's way you take a step further than he ever has, in watching you try anyways. In watching you say "I love you", even as a whisper. In pulling people back into your orbit even when everything is telling you to run from them.
It makes him think that maybe, he can try too.
"One more, Mihya," you lay what must be a part of a roof in front of him, half-decorated already. There's a border of icing around it that clearly looks like you couldn't stop the piping from pouring out.
He can't help it, he covers his eyes and a laugh spits out of him.
"What?" You look at him, incredelous, mirroring his smile.
"It's so bad." And now, he can't stop, slapping his hand over his mouth as his body shakes.
"Excuse me?" You laugh with him, staring over his shoulder to see what he's seeing. "It's a roof!"
"Why is there so much icing?"
"I- okay, look, piping is not easy. You try!"
"Oh no, no need," he gasps out, "There's enough icing for three roofs."
"You do not get to complain unless you wanna do the rest of the roofs!"
He grips your chin and pulls you into a kiss, a breath of laughter on his lips. It shocks you, icing bag still in your hand, a poof of white dust catches the light.
When he finally pulls apart from you, he grazes a thumb over your cheek, taking in your wide-eyed look. "Okay. I'll do the rest of the roofs."
"Oh thank god, my arms are killing me from all the icing." You hand him the bag, shaking it in the air. He takes it from you willingly, catching your hand before it can pull away to kiss the back of it.
twelve days of selfshipmas event
god, these selfship excerpts are getting more and more personal LMAO. ALSO CAN YOU BELIEVE this isn't about sae HAHA i just really felt like writing kaiser for this one!!
sorry to tartagliove (who made this event) in advance bc it started as just gingerbread house making and then i went overboard w my feelings HAHA BUT I HAD so much fun writing this!!
#kaiser x reader#michael kaiser x reader#kaiser x you#kaiser x y/n#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#bllk x you#12 days of selfshipmas#fragments of memories: selfship
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Character + Prompt/Request:
Hyugo and GN!Reader, Sol x GN!Reader (Sol is mainly just mentioned here fyi. This is more Hyugo centered.)
Have some small angst. 🩵💔 (Hyugo fans I'm sorry lol)
"How many times has he told you he doesn't love you?"
The question took you off guard, made you grow silent as you thought back over it...
"Rarely...Never..." You muttered.
"Exactly! Then you have nothing to worry about! Sunny loves you, Y/n! With his whole heart and soul! Never forget that okay?" Hyugo said with a smile and wink, though you didn't notice it wasn't genuine. If anything, Hyugo was hiding back a frown, or more than just that.
As much as he supported his friend Sol being in love with you, supported his mission to win your heart, to be together. He also couldn't deny, he hated it.
He didn't know when it happened, how, but he couldn't ignore the fact he was crushing on you...No...It was far more than a crush now. Hyugo was in love with you. But he dared not to say it, show it, because of Sol...Because of his best friend.
But if Sol wasn't his friend, wasn't someone special and important to him...
He would of ridded of him already and did everything in his power to make you his.
Yet he forced himself back, helped support Sol get closer to you, to get farther away from Crowe, his rival.
Though Sol was unaware of the many times Hyugo would watch you and him leave together. Usually hand in hand now...Smiling, laughing together. As he felt jealousy over seeing you smile and show joy because of Sol...
But same time, seeing you smile and look happy, it was all he wanted and needed to see too. Even if it wasn't with him.
Yet he still wished, wishes...He could be the one to make that happen for you, make you feel that happiness, joy and love with and around him.
"Hyugo?" You snapped Hyugo out of his thoughts, as you reached a hand out to touch his face. "Why are you crying?"
"What?" Hyugo didn't even realize he was shedding tears as he was so lost in his thoughts over what he was feeling...
Then felt his panic rise over this slip up, a huge one, scared he'll ruin it all for Sol. "O-oh! I just...I'm just so happy for you and Sunny! Who wouldn't tear up over such a cute lovely couple! God you two make me so proud." Hyugo tried to play with the tears now, making a silly show of wiping them away like he was in some drama play.
You couldn't help but lightly laugh at his act and then give him a playful light shove. "C'mon! I was really scared you were upset there! But really...If...anything is bothering you. You can tell me you know? You're a good friend to me Hyugo...One of the best ones I have I feel now."
That hurt. He knew he was just seen as a friend to you, but still, hearing that, it hurt. He should still be happy, yet he struggled. Struggled to smile, but did his best to force it, look convincing.
"You're my best friend too, Y/n. Which is why I only want the best for you, always." He felt his heart ache with every word he spilled, then he heard Sol calling out for you.
You turned away to see him coming, your attention completely on Sol like always now. But that gave Hyugo enough time to turn around and wipe his tears away that were escaping his eyes again. Then took a deep breath to compose himself before Sol arrived over.
For Sunny... Hyugo thought. It's all for Sunny...
#;literature 🖋️#tkatb vn#the kid at the back vn#sol x mc#sol x reader#sol x you#hyugo sugimoto#this could of been better but just wrote what came to me in the moment. so excuse any mistakes lol
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DAY TWENTY THREE - BABY TRAPPING 彡 Aizen Sosuke
WARNINGS :: x fem reader, afab, yandere, coercion, manipulation, baby trapping, no protection, missionary, fingering, cervix kissing, NC cumming inside, + more
| WC :: 2.8k+ | MDNI | 18+ | kinkmas m.list
You knew about Aizen, what he wanted to achieve-you were the only person he had told apart from three others. You were going to go ahead and help him make this dream a reality. To be in the company of Aizen was to be with a God-the level of control he had, it scared you, couldn't tell if you felt safe too. He's always there to protect you, keeps you hidden away so you can't get hurt. Still, something has always been a bit off about him; you noticed it, how his eyes would follow your every move, every breath. It started innocently enough with Aizen as a perfect gentleman, never forcing and yet giving you just enough space to feel independent. Subtle changes began to happen over time. "Are you going out again?" Aizen's voice came out soft, he is masking his disapproval, he's waiting for the right moment to force you to stay with him. You lifted your gaze from the mirror in front of you and finished styling out your hair. "Just for a little while. Soon I will be back." His eyes stayed on you a moment, his smile false as he stared at you. "I worry about you," he said, moving in behind you and setting his hands on your shoulders before trailing off down to your hands. "The world is a dangerous place, and I'm not always going to be here to protect you. You're only a healer, you can't do much, my love." Comforting, even, his words were sweet. You think. A lump, tense feeling began to grow in your stomach but you laughed it off, brushing his hands with a soft touch. "I'll be fine, Sosuke! I can take care of myself." But the seed had been sown. Over weeks, he came further into your life, and what you used to decide for yourself would, it seemed henceforth, have first to pass through him. And he keeps reminding you so often with a soft chuckle that he wants nothing but the best for you. "You know, you need to take more rest," Aizen said to you one night while doing reports. He leaned over you with his hand tucked in the back of your nemaki, drawing circles, almost to sooth you. "All this stress isn't good for your health." You faltered, words caught in your throat. "I need to finish this." "You don't," he returned smoothly. His fingers closed over your shoulder, tightening just a fraction. "What you need is to unwind. I don't like seeing you overexerting yourself." Before he could object further, he leaned forward and rolled the scroll shut before taking it in his hands. "I'll take care of everything," he whispered. "Just trust me." At first, it was very easy to confuse his overprotectiveness with care. He was attentive, loving in his own peculiar way. Before long, the control started to become more evident with each passing day.
He never raised his voice nor did he yell. He didn't have to. His words had been enough to lead you to wherever he wanted you to go. And they were so gradual besides, too slight, almost imperceptible. He started taking you away from your friends, from your captain, your lieutenant, subtly making you feel they were not people you should trust. "They don't understand you the way I do," he'd say stroking your hair as you lay in his arms. "They'll only hold you back." And when you fell, he'd lift your chin so it faced his eyes, the skin of your forehead grazing his lips in a feather-soft touch. "I only want what's best for you." You had begun to lean on him, questioning your choices, and if indeed you really knew what was best for you. Then you went to Aizen to see if it was okay-the things you were doing. Aizen had this way of speaking, as though he was the only one who knew you. Lying beside him in bed, as night fell, you said what was pent up inside your mind, "Aizen, am I the only one who thinks this all went a bit too fast? I feel like... I'm losing myself." His response was immediate. "You aren't losing yourself, my love, you're finding who you're really supposed to be. With me, you don't have to worry about a thing. Always, I will take care of you," he says with a softness, but his words are like honey. Still, with those words somehow, it sent shivers down your spine. That was when the future conversations started, light at first, talks about what life could be if you stayed together. A house, peaceful life, children. "You'd make a great mother," he said one afternoon as his eyes latched onto yours. "Can't you imagine building a life with me?" Your heart had skipped a beat, but there was a growing discomfort. "Perhaps someday, but I don't know if I'm ready for that as yet." Aizen didn't press the issue then, but the subject kept coming up. He'd casually touch your belly, remark on how ideal it would be to have a family, how complete your bond would be if you were tied together in every possible way. "It's natural to be wary," Aizen told you one evening while you sat before the fireplace. His hand lay limply on your thigh, his thumb tracing soft patterns. "But do think about it. A child would only strengthen our love. We'd be forever bound." You laughed a little nervously and brushed the suggestion aside. "That's a big step, Aizen. I'm just not sure I'm ready." He smiled gently, his eyes concealing something, something that you don't notice. "You will see, in time, it is the best thing that can happen to us." You didn't know that in his mind, a decision was already made.
Aizen and you have had sex multiple times, so it isn't a rare occurrence for the two of you to have sex at least once a day, at the least, it would be once every two days. But, Aizen makes sure to leave you every night, making sure that you are so fucked out due to pleasure that you forget to notice particular things.
Specifically, something that is about to happen tonight.
Your arms are pinned above your head, as Aizen's fingers experimentally push past your slick folds, his fingers pressing past your clit, and a surge of pleasure courses through you, leaving you breathless and desperate for more.
A moan left your mouth as your back arched to his touch. Your reaction made Aizen press down slightly more, and your legs squeezed around his waist, moans stringing out your mouth.
You felt his fingers slide down, and he found your seeping hols drenched with arousal. A finger slowly slid inside your heat, a whimper leaving your mouth. "Does this feel good?" Aizen asked, and you nodded frantically.
"F-Fuck... feels so good, Sosuke," you whimpered as he started to slowly pump in and out your soaked walls.
"Really?" He asked and you moaned as he inserted another finger into your walls.
Overwhelming, a perfect mix of pleasure and intensity, it leaves you unable to hold back your moans. You lean your lips against his shoulder, muffling those sounds that burst from deep inside you. His fingers delve deep inside your core, firing a flame that engulfs every thought. Every movement, every curl sends shockwaves of pleasure across your body.
You let go and surrender to his intoxicating rhythm of touches. The junction of his skilled fingers with the intensity of our connection cossets you closer to the edge and teetering on the precipice of release. It was just a pure moment of bliss, where time seemed to stand still, filled completely with an overwhelming pleasure that coursed through the veins.
With Aizen's fingers pumping in and out of your seeping hole relentlessly, there was a familiar tightness growing in your lower abdomen, and pleasure that had tightened inside your stomach. You wrap your shaking legs around him, trying to hold on to him as the pleasure overflows. Anticipation ripples your body, reacting to every single one of his touches and movements.
You chant his name into his neck as praises leave your mouth, your voice filled with desire and need. The tears welling in your eyes are not from pain but from the overwhelming pleasure that threatens to consume you whole.
At your pleading, sucks the skin around your neck once more, groaning against your neck, his voice husky with desire. His thumb starts pressing your clit with its fleshy pad, another layer added onto the sensations that are already so intense. The touch is electrifying, your back arches in response.
"Please, Sosuke," you sob. "I need to..."
"Let your body take over for you, you want this and I've got you," Aizen reassured, intertwining your mouths together, his mouth swallowing the moans that slipped out your mouth.
Waves of ecstasy wash over you, leaving your legs trembling and weak from the intensity of the sensations. He slips his fingers from your hole and you continue to tremble from the aftermath of the orgasm. You managed to release myself from Aizen's neck and move away from his hold.
"Feeling alright?" Aizen asks cupping my cheeks.
"...yeah..." you breath out slowly while looking into his eyes. Aizen makes you feel so good, all the time, always focusing n your own pleasure, it's like he's trying to win you over for something, to distract you from something-
"There is more coming," Aizen said slowly, his brown eyes piercing into your own and they widened.
"More?" you tease, "What possibly could you give me more of?"
"So much, my love," Aizen hums. "Just let yourself loose, don't focus on anything, just on the pleasure I will give."
He delicately bites the shell of your ear making you let out a quiet whimper. you could feel him smile against your ear at your reaction. Aizen's touch caused you to dig your nails slightly into his chest leaving light crescent marks causing more deep exhales of breaths to get caught in your ear.
Aizen moved his head and his body suddenly firmly pressed against yours and you whimpered at the feeling of his dick pressing up agasint your stomach. His lips mingled with yours his minty taste and smell overflowed your senses making it a complete euphoria for you. you cupped the back of his neck to create a deeper angle for him to go explore deeper into your mouth with our tongues continuing to entangle with each other.
Aizen groans into your mouth, the hand that was trailing down your thigh moved swiftly back to your waist and the other intertwined with your hair at the base of your neck, pulling you closer to him. you let out breathy sighs into him as your own hand interlaced with his chocolte and your other wrapped around behind his neck.
His other hand moved its way down to tightly lift your thigh up which made his body mould closer to mine making you feel his dick press up against your soaked core. The kiss slows down and turns soft and almost desperate it's as if he wants to take his time with you, savouring every inch of your taste, to take his sweet time to memorise you.
"Look at you," he teases. "Trembling under my touch."
Aizen pants against your lips and you didn't have time to reply as he pressed them against you once more. "Please," I whimper out.
"Hmm?"
"I want you...." you mumble. "Stop teasing me."
Aizen kissing your forehead like you were a child who listened to their parent. "Good girl."
He presses his lips against mine to take your mind off. you feel a hard tip get lubricated at your entrance making your back arch into him as you let out a strangled moan of pleasure into his mouth. He continues to push further into you making your eyebrows furrow together in pain but the pleasure is still overwhelming your senses making tears prick at your eyes.
"Oh, you feel so good," Aizen whimpers into your neck. "You're so perfect."
You moan. The feeling of pure ecstasy of him fully entered you, the pain gone.
You feel his dick scraping across your plush walls in all the right places as he slowly exited your cunt, but not fully. Your moans and whimpers get swallowed by each other. you feel his thrusts speed up and you moan in response, your walls clenching around him causing the grip Aizen held on your thigh and waist to tighten.
The coil in your stomach getting tighter and your moans slightly became higher. Aizen continued to groan into your neck after he pulled away from the heated kiss.
"You make- me feel so goo- d," you say moaning throughout your sentence, "Feels so good-" you felt the coil in your stomach snap as your back arched painfully into Aizen's bare chest causing Aizen to groan and his arms moved to wrap tightly around you.
You arched your back heavily, able at last to sink further into his embrace. Aizen leaned over, drawing you near to him and initiating a messy, moist kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth, letting out grunts as he absorbed your sounds of pleasure.
Effectively distracting you as he cums half in your cunt and the rest all over your stomach. He mimics that he's pulled out when in reality, he's got you filled with his seed, ready for you to bare his child.
-------------------------------------------------
Aizen watched you from his chair.. "You're shaking, dear. What's going through your mind?" His voice was smooth, treacherous in a way that completely made it impossible for you to feel anything but relaxed and on edge all at once.
"I-I just don't understand...," you stammered, your hand falling to rest on your stomach, that for the last couple of weeks had started to show the signs of the life growing inside you. "How could this have happened? We were careful..."
Aizen chuckled low in his throat. "Oh, my love. Did you truly think I would leave something so important to chance? This was always a part of the plan."
You froze, your mind racing. "Wha... what do you mean?"
He stood, moving towards you with the grace of a predator stalking his prey. His hand cupped your cheek as he leaned down to whisper in your ear, "I made it happen. I want you bound to me in every way possible. You're mine now-mind, body, and soul."
It swept over you, you realise everything now. Every sweet word, every tender touch, was all an act to trap you. And in one swell, tears began to well within your eyes, but a gentle smiling Aizen wiped them away.
"There is no reason to cry, dear, this is for the best. Now you shall never leave me. You shall carry my child, and we will be bound together, forever." His lips pressed against your forehead. Your breath hitched as his hand slipped into your stomach. How had you not seen this all along? All those nights he had held you close, whispering sweet promises to your ear-all part of his carefully designed trap. He straightened, watching your. "You're too precious to let slip away. You see that, don't you?" His fingers brushed your skin. "You planned this," I whispered, more for my benefit than his. "You wanted this all along..."
Aizen smiled. "Of course. You really didn't think I'd leave a thing like that to chance, did you? I have always had a vision for us-a future wherein you would be mine-completely." You took another step backward, feeling the beating of your heart within your chest, but there was nowhere to go. "What if I don't want it?" you whispered almost soundlessly. "You are emotional now. Understandably so. But time will let you see this as precisely what you need." His voice was coaxing, speaking as he would to a frightened child. You shook your head, fighting down the panic rising into your throat. "I don't want to be trapped like this, Aizen. You can't just take away my choices." Aizen's hand rose to your chin, the pad of his thumb tipping your face upwards, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Oh my love, I have not taken anything from you. I've simply... ensured that we shall never again be parted. Is it not what you wanted, deep down?" "I... I don't know," you said, voice shaking. "Shhh," Aizen cooed, pressing a strand of hair behind your ear. "You are overwhelmed now. But in time, you shall see: our child will bind us together, and you shall understand that was the only way. You shall thank me for protecting our future. "Why?" one finally asked, barely above a whisper. "Why go to such an extent? Aizen's smile pulled taut over his lips, never quite reaching his eyes. "Because I love you. And when I love someone, I make sure they can never leave me." Aizen leaned down until his lips brushed against your ear. "There's no escape, my dear. Not now, not ever."
Do not steal, copy, modify, translate or use for ai Reblogs only!
tag list :: @love-eien @enouche @dreaddful @z8riah
@yanakurokawaaa @princesstiti14 @bontensbabygirl @mitsuyas-version
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#yandere bleach x reader#yandere bleach#bleach x you#bleach smut#bleach x reader#bleach x reader smut#aizen x reader#aizen x you#aizen x reader smut#aizen smut#yandere aizen
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sunday snippet
I meant to have this fic done ages ago but it's now somehow three times as long as it was, I've rewritten it five times, and I'm still working on it 🫠 oh well. have a snippet from snickerdoodles.
@tizniz @hippolotamus @eddiebabygirldiaz @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @spotsandsocks @kejfeblintz @smilingbuckley @sofa-king-lame @chaosandwolves @smilingbuckley @belasmalhotra @bekkachaos @blutterlie @sazanahashi @livinginsunnyhell @epicbuddieficrecs @sparklespiff @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @dangerpronebuddie continued from Wednesday
Eddie tries again, but still sounds rough and hollowed out. “I don’t want to drag you down. Okay? You should move on and forget me and— and it’ll be better.”
Not so much for Eddie. He’s never let go of anything in his life. It’s all there hiding under the surface, stuffed in cages. But Buck should move on. Buck should survive him.
Is this their only future? It feels like losing everything. Eddie is losing everything. He’s kidding himself if he thinks he hasn’t already lost Chris. What if Eddie doesn’t survive this time? What will happen to everyone he loves? Everyone who loves him?
Does anyone love him? Does he mean anything to anyone? Has he ever meant anything?
“Forget— I should forget you?” Buck snaps, his anger un-contained fire now, not just a hint of smoldering kindling. Vicious, spitting, sparking, living flames that will turn everything to ashes.
Maybe they should actually fight and say awful things and then it would be easier to walk away.
Eddie’s not sure he could even manage that right now. There’s nothing left in him. No fight, no fire. It’s all shattered, scattered pieces. But he would try. If Buck needs that.
He might need that. He snaps again, “Like you’re a pair of socks that disappeared in the laundry? Or something I meant to pick up at the store and spaced? Like it’s easy? Like you’re nothing? Like this? Us? You and me? Means nothing?”
Okay, when he puts it that way… it sounds dumb. But how else can Eddie stop hurting him? “No,” Eddie says. Not fiery, not loud, not anything. “No. Just. Something that doesn’t—”
“You're my best friend. You— you’re— I’ll let you go. Okay. Whatever. I’ll do that because I know you and I know you need Chris and I get it. I wouldn’t want you to do anything but love him exactly the way you do. But I won’t, will not and can not pretend that you aren’t my best friend and my partner and the person I love more than anything. All right? I’m not going to do that. I’ve spend years—literal— almost a whole decade of years loving you more than anything. I’m not going to just forget that or forget you. I’m not throwing that way. I’m not ever going to lie and say otherwise. This is not a ‘move on and grow out of it’ scenario. I love you more than anything in the world. Okay? You told me I wasn’t expendable and I had to deal with that so you have to deal with this. You mean everything to me and I love you, and that isn’t going to change even when you leave.”
“—hurt you,” Eddie finishes. It doesn’t really sound finished now. He says it because he was already saying it.
But that the fuck does he say now?
Eddie doesn’t usually think of himself as small, quiet, or fragile. But he feels like that now. His feeble words sound like it even in his own ears. Small. Inconsequential. Torn apart.
Buck steps back toward him. Not enough that they’re touching, but enough that they’re closer. “Hurt me. Drag me down. I don’t care.”
Eddie recoils. No. No, he hates that idea. He is not doing that. Not intentionally. Not. What the fuck.
He knows he said the words. He said them because his mother said them and they stuck and haven’t left his head or his heart and it’s all he does. Ruin people he loves.
Buck shakes his head. “Be in the way. Burden me. Share whatever weight you’re carrying. Be something that stays even if you’re not here. Be part of my life even if it hurts. I don’t care if it hurts, I need you to be something to me. Having nothing of you would be a hundred, thousand, million times worse. I am in this with you. I always have been. Don’t shut me out just to spare me. If you’re facing the fire, I want to be right there with you. Please don’t make me lose everything of you. Please don’t— please. Don’t pretend this is nothing. I can take you leaving, I can’t take this,” he motions between them, “meaning nothing.”
Eddie stares and doesn’t move. And stares harder like it will help him understand.
He knows he’s breathing still because there’s air.
Maybe he’s not breathing. But something is making air flow in and out of his body. Like rescue breaths? Supplemental oxygen? It’s not Eddie doing it, he’s not taking in air, but it happens anyway.
He doesn’t understand. Maybe he never has. Maybe his brain stopped processing information when he stopped breathing because the brain can’t function without oxygen. Something like that. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t.
Buck wants something of him even after everything? After all the people who have walked out on him and treated him like he doesn’t matter? Even with how Eddie fails and hurts people who care about him? He means something to Buck? Even though he’s hurting him and abandoning him and losing him? Eddie’s just another person who leaves him. He can’t hurt Buck. He can’t keep doing it. Buck doesn’t deserve this. And Eddie deserves no loyalty, no forgiveness.
He doesn’t deserve anyone’s love. Not in any form. He shouldn’t have it. He’s never had it.
“I don’t—” Eddie tries to say. He has to say. He has to make the words come out. “I don’t want to hurt you the way Abby hurt you. I don’t want to do that.”
Buck shakes his head again and starts to say something.
Eddie beats him to it. “I know it’s not the same. I know I’m not— I know you don’t— It’s different. Still. I know how she hurt you, and I don’t want to do that. I don’t know how to not do that. I’m leaving you here. In my house. Just like she did when she left you. And I have to—” Do the same fucking thing? Give him up? Walk away? Destroy everything they made together? And maybe the only way to survive is to do what Eddie does best and ruin everything?
He looks back at Buck and doesn’t mean to say it. He wasn’t going to say anything. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t matter. He should be mean and nasty and he should tell Buck he means nothing, this means nothing, and then Buck can just be justifiably angry and hate Eddie properly.
And it would spare him. Whatever pain and tragedy that is associated with being near Eddie. It would spare Buck.
That’s what he should do.
That would be mercy and kindness. Pick up the weapon and blow this all to hell.
Eddie can’t breathe. He can’t do this. Any of it.
He can’t let go. He can’t lose Buck.
And then he’s suddenly confessing, “I don’t want to do this."
It’s too late. It’s always too late. And what he actually wants has never mattered. He doesn’t matter. He never has. He twists his hands together and has nothing else to hold onto. It’s too late, so none of this matters. Eddie doesn’t matter. But he meets Buck’s lost gaze, stares into his eyes for three seconds, and he can’t keep it in.
“I want to be with Chris. I miss him so much. Every minute of every day. But I don't want to leave here. I don't want this. But it doesn't matter what I want. It never has. The one time I said, 'What about me? Why didn't you think of me?' Chris left. He left because I hurt him. And my dad says, ‘don’t wait thirty years to listen to your son.’ So I listen. I don’t know what the hell else to do. I listen, and I do what all of them ask. Even when it’s the last thing I want and I’ve already said, no, please stop, I need more time, please hear me. They don’t listen to me. I’m still nothing to every single one of them. And I just keep thinking why don’t I ever count? Why don’t I matter even a little bit?
"You think you aren't everything to me, too? Do you think that I don't love you just as much as you love me? But I don’t get to pick you. I don’t get to have anything of you. I hurt everyone I try to love including you and Chris. I’m not enough for anyone, in any way. I can’t love anyone the way they need or the way I’m supposed to. You say you’re defective parts, well I’m fucking broken.
"That’s why you should forget me. I don’t matter. You shouldn’t care. I should mean nothing because I am nothing. I’m not worth this. If I were a better, stronger person, I’d make you hate me. But I can’t even do that. I don’t want to hurt you more. I have to lose you and I don’t know how to lose you. I love you more than anything and it’s not enough. I don’t know what else to do but say, you should move on and forget me.”
Eddie turns away and covers his face, tries to hold his head because it’s aching. It’s too much. That was too much. He’s not supposed to be falling apart. Everything is supposed to be getting better.
Shards of ice crack and fracture and break underneath him. Everything in the cage around his ribs snaps and he’s crying into his hands, trying to keep it together. Trying and failing. Always failing. His face is already wet. He was already broken. A long time ago. So many times.
Buck is suddenly behind him. Not distant. Close behind him. He touches Eddie’s back gently and then steps around until he’s standing in front of him. He reaches between them and rests his hand on Eddie’s chest. As if he can stop the never-ending bleeding that’s somehow always pouring from Eddie’s heart. “You are enough, Eddie. You’re more than enough."
#buddie#*love confessions of angsty yelling*#yes I gave them a ‘you matter to me’ moment what of it#I said this was heavily inspired by my obsession with the Waitress musical…#you were warned#fic: snickerdoodles of longing#snippet sunday#seven sentence sunday#jenwyn wip#buddie wip
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Lets yap about Geode and why it's practically canon!
Contains spoilers
Okay I've been wanting to write this for a while but never had time to. However, winter break just started! I should be working on some unfinished school work but I don't care about school. So here it goes! This is basically why Geode (Cole x Geo) is canon/will be canon.
So first, I wanted to talk about how Cole never really had an actual love interest up until now. Sure, in season 3, there was the stupid love triangle thing with him, Jay, and Nya, but it was confirmed by the writers that Cole never really had feelings for Nya and was just confused by the attention she gave to him. I'd also like to assume that P.I.X.A.L's perfect match detector thing also threw him off. (I'm just gonna call her Pixal for the remainder of this, yes she'll be mentioned again)
He also never had much of a romantic relationship with Vania. Sure, they were close and had a great friendship together, but that's where it ends, just a friendship. They never really did anything more. And when it comes to Ninjago, they make the love interest very obvious.
The writers are also very aware that they haven't given Cole a love interest. They make subtle jokes about it, like in this scene. While the ninja are hanging out with their significant other (expect for Lloyd who had a love interest but uh... we saw what happened the Harumi...) except for Cole. He's instead looking at the cake that the woman is holding up. The writers of the show also have said that his love interest is cake as a joke, so they're aware that they haven't given him a love interest yet.
They also once posted this on the Lego.com website as a poll. This might be far fetched but to me it implies that there might be someone else in the future that will be Cole's lover. I know that it says girlfriend but it doesn't mean that the someone Cole is yet to meet can't be a guy. Maybe Cole is a bisexual too we can't take that completely off the table either.
Now, let's talk about the actual ship of Geo × Cole. Geo is not as social as the other and is more timid. He keeps more to himself. However, with Cole, he's an open book. He raised a whole family with him. They're also rather close. Cole has never been that close to anyone other than the other ninja, and even so, it still took him a while to get used to them. So him being so close to Geo as fast as he did is quite attached to Geo. And if that isn't gay then I don't know what it is.
Now this is the part where I talk about my personal favorite and probably one of the most canon ships ever in Ninjago, PixZane. (Pixal x Zane, told you I was gonna mention Pixal again 😉) It is very obvious that they love each other and is canon that they're dating. So, why did I mention them? Well, they never explicitly say, "We're dating." Instead they say that they're "compatible." Zane also says that she has "Half of my (his) heart" Which all of those are all just says of saying that they're in love and dating. Also they both have a strong attachment together. I mean, Zane is desperate for Pixal in Dragons Rising, and in the comic, Zane's Pixal Project, he's so desperate for her and is willing is sacrifice himself for her. In fact, Pixal only says, "I love you." In Crystalized. Took them only 8 years to finally hear something less nindroid-y but that just proves my point more. Yeah, with all of that plus the stuff I didn't mention, they're dating at least.
So why did I mention all of this? Well, a common rule for story writing is, "Show, don't tell." Very common in real life to, like phrases like, "Your actions speak more that your words." So they would apply that rule to a ship like Geode. I mean, the hints are very loud, yet sneaky in a way. Enough for me to apply the gay label but not enough for someone to say it's 100% without a doubt canon.
I'd also like to say that the writers of the show hype up and imply this ship more than a little. One of the writers of Ninjago posted this on his Instagram. The writer is also gay so that's some extra points. (I got it from here.) Also I just realized that the little effect thing around their hands make a heart, so I'll add that to the evidence list. Also this clip, Doc Wyatt seems to support the ship. So I'm pretty sure the writers are planning something big for them, maybe... a kiss? Who knows?
Now, in the end, it is a gay ship, so they have to be much more vivid about it or else the show could get banned in certain places around the world if they do make it canon. However, other cartoons do have canon LGBTQ+ representation that's more prominent. (Ex. The Loud House - Clyde's dads (Howard and Harold McBride) + Luna is a bisexual, Adventure Time - Princess Bubblegum and Marceline) Plus, there is some LGBTQ+ throughout the show which I talk about more here. (Shameless plugging XD) So it wouldn't be out of character for Ninjago add a gay ship in the series. Not only will it give them more open doors since it shows how they're willing to add queer relationships into the show, so they might add some more queer relationships. It would also make Cole the first canon LGBTQ+ ninja of the main 6.
Okay, well I think that's about all I have to say about the most gay characters in Ninjago. Also thank you for all the likes + reblogs on my queer Ninjago post, I like yapping about this show clearly, especially the queer part cause I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community so I might as well spread my pride. I literally love Geode so much please make it canon in my life.
Anyways, I hope everyone enjoys their winter break, gets lots of presents this year for Christmas, and stay up for New Years. Make sure to stay healthy and have lots of fun with family and friends.
#thoughts#lego ninjago#black ninja#ninjago#ninjago cole#ninjago zane#zane ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#cole x geo#Geo#Geode#geodeshipping#geode ninjago#gay#pixzane#ninjago pixal#video essay#essay writing#essay#Yap#yapping#professional yapper#just yappin#yap yap yap#Queer#lgbtq positivity#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#lgbtqiia+
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally#having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn#checking my fever sote jaagte#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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My dad "acknowledging" my queerness:
*yesterday, helping me move boxes* My dad: you sure have a lot of books on queer history Me: yeah, I collect them. They're mostly old out-of-print books that I found at Half-Price My dad: *goes back to talking about logistics of box stacking and says nothing else on the subject* *a few months before, Bronski Beat is playing* Me: I love Bronski Beat My dad: *surprised* me too! They were my favorite band when I was a teen. Me: you know, Smalltown Boy is actually a song about being gay and running away from home. Me: *continues to try to tell my dad why I'm passionate about Bronski Beat and how they played a really cool role in queer history* My dad: *turned away and actively stopped listening to me the moment I said "gay"* *outright interrupts me mid-sentence to change the subject*
#he.... is trying?? maybe?? possibly?? not really?#it's not good enough but#i don't really care that much#it's just HE'S the one who claims to want to have a good relationship with me#yet won't let me talk about things that actually matter to me#he has never even told me it's okay with him or that he still loves me or any of the standard platitudes#he just has never acknowledged it whatsoever#(i didn't come out to him directly i just intentionally let him find out through social media)#honestly him saying the words 'queer history' yesterday talking about the boxes might have been the first time#anyways that got real personal#we are.... venting#it's been A Few Days#i love a good tumblr.com overshare#autumn posts
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when you get blocked by him even tgough you guys barely even talk anymore but the last time you talked which was about a week ago you actually had a nice and healthy conversation and you had alot of love for eachother and it seemed amazing 😂😂😍😍😍😍 no i'm definitely not fucking crying Lol
#it has been 3 years and i'm still here crying over this#well technically it has been about 1 year but also not really. i mean. we stopped talking around december ir smth last year#so it makes sense that this wound is still pretty fresh and will take some time to heal but i'm like. hahhaha#he's still my best friend and this really makes me sad#because i really love him and we even hung out together on genshin for some time#and we sent eachother really nice messages and i told him he xan always come to me no matter what and that i'm always here for him#and that if he's ever in a crisis he can even come see me he doesn't even have to ask#and now i'm blocked. hshdjckdjdhjf#i mean why am i surprised. he has every right to. and i'm his ex . and he likes someone else now#but it still really hurts because i wish i could be a better friend to him at least. but i can't talk to anyone these days#but especially with him it hurts so much because i actually know him so so well and it hurts so much more . like. we know eachother since#i was like. 16 and he was 18. it's insane!!!!!! we share a fucking birthday!!!!! i wanna die!!!!!!#i need to accept that it's over since like years but you can't just do that when you really love someone and care for them#haha . this really sucks alot#i know i need to just move along and i try i do but i will never stop having love for him even if it's just platonic it's so deep like wow#i donmt even know how to explain it and my love for him took over my entire life for years to the point where i turned into an absolute#nobody and it worried him so much too so obviously it makes sense that this takes some time . but God ahhahahshshshahah. ahhahahshsah#i feel so sad and i'm allowed to feel sad . but wjen i feel sad it feels like i'm fucking dying#wow. okay i'll stop now#he has every right to block me but he's my best friend so it hurts. that's all
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It's giving the...main character syndrome. like who tf does she think she is??? Y/N???
NO OH MY GOSH ANON. LET ME TELL YOU. LET ME FRIGGIN TELL YOU.
#okay so i need to give her a name. we will call her yn bc she is just so different and quirky and not like other girls#so i haven't liked yn since freshman year (am a junior) because she seemed incredibly pretentious. she has like awards n stuff for this#asian advocation group and tons of other stuff which is GOOD. but she has a tendency to brag and be very cocky about it.#AND YOU KNOW WHAT. IT WASNT JUST ME. MY FRIEND FROM SEMINAR who we will call Pie for certain reasons (her name rhymes with it) AGREED WITH#ME ABOUT YN BEING COCKY! and Pie and Yn are in the same group since they are both Asian and ppl at my school typically hang out w their rac#is that racist? like there's an asian boys group and asian girls group. but it's only asians and white people; but it's weird since a large#portion of my school is hispanic. i dunno WEIRD SIDE TANGENT BUT BASICALLY THEY ARE IN THE SAME GROUPS; RIGHT? so Pie was agreeing that Yn#can be very pretencious; and I'm then like#oh i don't really like her for the cheating stuff she did with Mac (fake name) and how she got#him to basically cheat on his girlfriend“ and Pie says ”oh well Mac started it; but Yn lead him on for over a month while he had a gf#and they kept this going until Yn decided to break things off; WHICH MEANS MAC'S NOW EX GIRLFRIEND NEVER KNEW ABOUT ANYTHING W MAC N YN!#also allegedly according to my boyfriend; Yn was doing homework as Mac was yk DOING it to Yn and she just like... LET IT HAPPEN WHILE HE HA#A GIRLFRIEND. HELLO? and when Yn ends it; he's like “omg but yn... i love you...” “no. i'll only hurt you; if you're with me it'll only hur#uh okay 25k words slowburn vibes.... ANYWAYS so she takes screenshots and sends them in a SUPER big groupchat with 20+ people (including Pi#and my boyfriend) and Pie (who was childhood friends with Mac) called her out saying how it was also kind of her fault for being with a guy#who was in a relationship; but she got super defensive about it. and this same thing happened AGAIN 2ish months later with a girl Jas and#her boyfriend Ben; where Yn was friends with both but basically was emotionally cheating with Jas; leading them to break up; and then she#GOT WITH JAS. HELLO???? WHAT??? and they r still together. none of them talk to Ben even though Yn said they were 'all cool and friends'#SUREEEE GIRL SURE. KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT. and Pie called her out on this AGAIN since Pie is friends with Ben and Jas too but Yn got#defensive AGAIN! BC SHE KNOWS ITS A SHITTY THING TO DO! and Pie doesn't really like her because of it and when Pie told me all of that I wa#in shock. because Yn was trying to play the victim in the situation with Mac when she sent the messages to the gc; and tried to do that AGA#N BUT IN THE SITUATION WITH JAS LIKE NO U ARE JUST A CRAPPY PERSON ! and appearently she is SO toxic she was nearly kicked out from a#leadership role at my school's asian pacific islander club or something! like girl WAKE UP! but that's not all; so i didn't know she was#known for going for people who had partners; yet still didn't like her; and last school year (about 4 months ago) my boyfriend got a 'reall#bad haircut' (i thought it was cute; but everyone made fun of him ) and Yn RAN around our campus trying to find him to make fun of him..#like wtf that's so weird and she will post screenshots of their convos on her story and be like 'omg he's bullying me!' when he's being dry#and did that in the gc (this time; i'm in it!) and i crashed out but my bf was apologizing and saying he told her to not post anything but#she didn't listen or something i guess. and sometimes when they are wearing similar outfits she'll post on her story that they are matching#um girl he has a wife and 12 kids. back the FUCK off. and i told him to distance himself from her or set boundries cuz i don't like that n#it makes me uncomfy; so he did which is good! but i still don't like Yn. she is a major pick-me IMO and very two-faced and covers her
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In Vino Veritas
Pairing → Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Lab Assistant! Female! Reader
Total Wordcount → 3.5K
Summary → It all started when you and the Avengers enjoyed drinks during the afterparty back at the Avengers Tower. There, Tony revealed one of your deepest secrets, and even though you wish it had never come to light at first, you’re glad it did when the man you love stands on your doorstep, ready to start the rest of your life together.
Tags & Warnings → Semi-canon compliant, Avenger! Bucky Barnes, Female! Reader, Tony’s Lab Assistant! Reader, Bucky’s past as TWS is mentioned, emotional hurt/comfort, mutual pining, some cursing, and explicit sexual content.
Tags: Smut → Grinding, begging, some dirty talk, praise, teasing Bucky, protected sex, cowgirl position.
Story Rating → Explicit
Author’s Note → This story is beta'd by the wonderful @late-to-the-party-81, and I cannot thank you enough for that. I hope you'll all enjoy my story, which is filled with some angst, lots of fluff, and some smut to top it all off! 💜
Writing Prompts @fandom-free-bingo Bug Edition → “There is no us.” | Riding | In vino veritas | “Touch me.” @fandom-free-bingo Medical Edition → Crush at first sight @julybreakbingo Post-JBB → Being confronted about their feelings for another
Tags List → If you’d like to be tagged in my stories, you can add yourself to my tag list here.
The evening starts fine, good, even. But it all takes an unexpected turn when the man you work for - Tony Stark - reveals your secret. A secret that you’d only recently revealed to him.
Earlier that day, you’d spotted Bucky as he was working out and from that moment on your mind has been with him instead of your usual work and tasks.
“Hello, Y/N? Anyone home in there?” Tony asks as he lays a hand on your shoulder, making you jump. You look up at him with a worried look while he smiles back at you with a kind expression. A soft sigh escapes your lips as the thoughts in your head wander off again, specifically how his back looked underneath the tank top he wore in the gym while doing squats. Not only that, but you also can’t stop thinking about the way his ass looked in the sweatpants he wore. In a word, magnificent.
“Is everything okay with you? You’ve been a bit off your game today.” As Tony sits next to you, you put down the screwdriver you were holding - the one he asked you three times to pass to him - before turning to face him, your gaze focusing somewhere on the wall behind him. For a moment, there’s a silence between you as you gather the courage to tell him what’s been on your mind.
“Well, uhm- There’s something, or someone, that I can’t stop thinking about, and it’s taking over my mind every second of every day. It- It’s Bucky,” you say almost in a whisper. For a few seconds, Tony is completely silent as he lets the thought of you having a crush on one of his fellow Avengers sit in his mind. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he reaches out for your hand and takes it between his warm ones.
“You know that I’ll always support you in everything, right? I supported you when you expressed your desire to halt your life as an Avenger and retrain as my lab technician, and I supported you when you moved out of Avengers Tower to have your own home with more peace. This is not going to be any different. All I’m hoping for is that he will make you the happiest and best version of you, as you deserve nothing less.”
Tears brim at your waterline as Tony tells you this, and even though you deeply appreciate him, his words, and everything he has done for you, you can’t help but still feel a bit… odd about the fact you told him you’re having a crush on Bucky. That you have a crush on the man who was once the most feared assassin in the world under the hands of HYDRA.
“Now, can you hand me that screwdriver before your thoughts wander off to him again?” your boss asks in a teasing tone, making you smile as you grab it and hand it to him. Somehow, he always seems to know the right thing to say, and it's exactly why you enjoy spending time by his side while learning everything there is to know about his lab and what's going on in there.
Just as you’re about to get comfortable with another drink in your hand, you meet the gaze of the man you’re crushing on, and you feel heat coursing through your veins. The lines around his deep blue eyes intensify as he smiles at you, his attention making every last thought in your brain disappear. You’re so captivated by how Bucky looks at you that you miss your seat as you sit down. However, before you fall, you’re caught by a pair of solid arms that prevent you from hitting the floor.
“Careful there, Little One,” Thor says in his deep voice, his accent always making the butterflies in your stomach go wild. Even though you’d known Thor since you were young, you couldn’t help but get a little flustered by the nickname, and he smiled at you as you were finally sitting on the chair you intended to use.
“Thank you, Thor,” you whisper before sipping your cocktail. Around you, the conversations are starting to become a little blurry as you focus on Bucky and everything he has to say, his lips forming around the words effortlessly. When you suddenly feel a little shove against your arm, you yelp, making everyone go silent as they look at you.
“What did you do that for?!” you ask Thor in a low voice, but all he does is point to Tony, who obviously has something to say as he’s waving for everyone’s attention. There are moments when you enjoy the fact that alcohol can bring out people’s true feelings or thoughts, also known as in vino veritas, but not now. Oh no, now you wish you could disappear as you listen to the words coming out of Tony’s mouth.
“Guys, you really shouldn’t say this to Bucky or Y/N, but they’re having a massive crush on one another!” Tony says in a loud whispering tone, but what he fails to notice in his inebriated state is that you two are sitting right across from one another, enjoying the afterparty just like everyone else. Or at least, you were enjoying the afterparty until your secret got out.
The glass you were holding falls out of your hand before shattering into pieces on the floor, and your feet carry you as fast as they can away from the party and away from your worst nightmare come true. The music behind you fades away as you turn one corner after another, tears burning in your eyes as the event repeatedly replays in your mind. Your lungs start to burn as you keep running, the stinging feeling in your side increasing as you run out of the Avengers Tower into the night.
Meanwhile, Bucky’s world feels like it has taken a 180-degree turn. Mere minutes ago, he could only fantasize that you could have feelings for him, but now? A wave of disbelief washes over the super soldier, his expression showing pure surprise as he takes the moment in. For him, it was a crush at first sight from the momentyou walked into the training room on your first day. Over the years, his feelings have intensified, although he has only told Steve about his crush - or rather his now deep-rooted love - for you.
And yet, now that the pair of you have been confronted about your feelings for one another, he doesn’t know what to do. He has replayed the moment he’d confess his feelings to you more times than he can count in his mind, and in none of those versions, this is one of the scenarios that had appeared. It’s only when Steve grabs his arm and pulls him away that he seemingly comes back to reality again.
“Bucky, how does Tony know about your crush on Y/N? I mean, I’m, of course, fine with you sharing it, but-”
“I don’t know, Steve, I don’t know, and it kills me,” Bucky says as he runs his fingers through his cropped hair.“Fuck- I was planning on telling her this week but… but now it’s ruined, and I didn’t even get the chance to talk to her, and-” It’s all Bucky can say as he fights the urge to punch the wall with his metal fist, both hands clenched by his side as he tries to regulate his breathing. Without warning, Steve pulls him into a hug, and Bucky’s arms snake around his best friend's waist as his fingers clutch at the fabric of his shirt.
“It’s going to be okay, I promise,” Steve whispers, though he’s not entirely sure that’s true because he knows as well as anyone that things don’t always go back to how they were before. Still, Bucky decides to believe him as they stand there for a little while longer, and he soaks in every bit of comfort he can get for now. Lord knows he’s going to need it.
The past few days have been strange, to say the least. You haven’t been to the Avengers Tower since Tony revealed your now not-so-secret crush on the super soldier. You’re afraid of what will happen if you do. This also means you haven’t seen Bucky in a few days, and you miss him. You miss hearing his laugh, and you miss seeing how his mouth turns slightly upward as you hand him one of your baked goods, but most of all, you miss how his arms feel when he pulls you in for a hug.
Just as you’re about to make yourself a cup of tea, you get pulled from your thoughts by a soft but familiar knock on the door; only one thing can make that sound: Bucky’s metal hand knocking against the wood. For a moment, you contemplate your actions, but decide to give him at least a chance to talk, especially as it wasn’t him who laid out your feelings in front of everyone.
“Bucky, hi,” you say softly as you take in his appearance, your heart sinking as you do. It’s evident he hasn’t slept at all the past few days. There are dark circles under his eyes, and he doesn’t look as healthy as usual—more disheveled. The struggles he’s facing are apparent in his entire demeanor, and all you want to do is wrap him up in a warm blanket and cuddle him until the end of time.
“Hi,” he says hoarsely, and you step aside, allowing him to enter your apartment. He’s been here a few times already, and usually there’s a warmth radiating from you and every inch of the little place you call home, but ever since the party, it hasn’t been the same. It isn’t just the apartment, either. You feel different.
“Would you like some tea before we talk?” you ask to break the tension. “I was about to make some.”
He nods at you before wandering further into your apartment, and you head to the kitchen, picking out another mug for Bucky to use. Once he’s caught sight of your couch, he immediately takes a seat, a soft groan audible as he does. There aren’t many places more comfortable than the large couch that’s standing right here in your living room.
When you emerge a few minutes later with two steaming mugs of tea and a plate filled with chocolate chip cookies you baked fresh this morning, Bucky can’t help but smile at you. He gladly takes the tea with one of the cookies, as they’re his favorite, and when you sit down next to him, it feels just like it always has, as if nothing has changed. But you both know it has, and that’s why the super soldier’s now in your living room.
“So…” you start, unsure what to say now that he’s sitting on your couch. Bucky’s eyes are trained on the steaming tea in his hands, his thoughts going a mile a minute as he’s thinking about what he wants to say - other than confessing his love for you.
“So… uhm, we missed seeing you around the Tower,” Bucky starts, though you both know it’s mostly him who has missed seeing you there. You have always been a staple there during his mornings as you make him a cup of coffee, and during movie nights, you were always the one he could sit next to and enjoy the movie, but now that you’re not there, it’s like a piece of soul has left the Tower with you.
“I mean, yeah. It’s been a bit awkward for me to go back after what happened a few days ago,” you tell him, and a shudder of horror runs down your spine at the thought of having to face Tony again. A smile tugs at the corners of Bucky’s lips as he thinks back to what happened that night, a happy memory of your first meeting resurfacing in the back of his mind as he does.
“Good morning, Sergeant Barnes. I’ve made some chocolate chip cookies, if you want some. However, I should warn you, Tony’s been on the prowl since I took them out of the oven, so I’ll advise you to be quick,” you say with a glare towards Tony, who has been eyeing them up since he walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. For the first time in a long time, Bucky showed something akin to a smile, and everyone looked at each other to ensure they saw it, too.
“Thank you,” he says lowly, grabbing one of the smaller ones on the plate, followed by a cup of coffee, before swiftly leaving the kitchen to spend more time in his room. Before Bucky even left the kitchen, Tony was on the cookies as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks, and this time you let him.
“Can I- Is it okay if I tell you something? Because if I don’t say it now, I don’t know if I ever will,” Bucky says softly, and you nod before repositioning yourself so that you’re facing him. His gaze is still trained on his mug as he thinks carefully about his next words, afraid he might accidentally say the wrong thing.
“Tony was right. He is right, actually. When he said, we’re crushing on each other. I’ve been crushing on you since you offered me those chocolate chip cookies when Tony threatened to eat them all before anyone else had a chance to get them. It was like a switch flipped inside me back then, and I haven’t been the same since,” Bucky says, his mouth now in a line as he tells you about his feelings.
“Each time I look at you, it’s like I’m seeing an angel, and every time I hear your voice, it’s like a little piece of my soul is healing, too. I find myself drawn to you in every room and wonder what life has in store for us. But deep down inside, I know there is no ‘us’ yet. But I want there to be us. I want you, Y/N. I want you to be mine, in whatever capacity you’ll have me. If you want to stay friends, that’s okay with me, but if you want more, I’ll happily accept every bit of love you’re willing to offer me.”
Once Bucky’s done, you’re unsure what to say. What to think. What to do. You want to say that the feelings between you are mutual, that you’re in love with him and that you want nothing more than to be his, but something inside you is stopping you. So, instead of saying anything, you place your hand over his flesh limb, and his eyes slip shut at the feeling of your soft fingers against his rough hand.
“Bucky.” His name is a whisper on your lips, but it’s enough to make him look at you, to meet your gaze.
“I’m in love with you, too.”
As soon as the words leave your lips, Bucky carefully put his tea on the coffee table before hauling you onto his lap, his hands digging into the soft flesh of your waist as your lips interlock in a passionate dance. He can’t get enough of your soft mouth slotting together with his and the way his tongue fights for dominance with yours as your fingers dig into his neck. It’s been a long time since you’ve felt a strong connection with someone, and you’re happy to explore it with Bucky.
Your hips grind over his growing length of their own volition,your body looking for any bit of friction it can get. Without warning, one of Bucky’s hands slides lower until he’s cupping your ass, making you gasp into his mouth as a result. Bucky can’t help but smile into the kiss as he pulls you impossibly closer, your legs spreading just a bit further as you sink against his muscular body.
“Hmm, I’ve been wanting this - you - for so long,” he says between the kisses trailing your jaw towards your ear, his teeth nipping on your earlobe as your head lolls to the side. With every passing second, your thoughts are melting away more and more, and all that’s left inside your mind is Bucky. Soon, his other hand joins the first as he helps you grind onto him, a groan falling from his lips as he sets a perfect pace for you both.
“B-Bucky—" his name sounds more like a whine than anything else. “I—I want you.”
“But you already have me, pretty girl, ‘m right here,” he says with a teasing lilt to his voice, his hands continuing to help you grind until you’re a complete mess for him. Your shorts are ruined, your arousal soaking through them and onto the bulge in his black jeans, much to Bucky’s joy. He was wondering what it would take to get you to this point, and it turns out it won’t take much.
He smiles against the skin of your neck, where he’s taking his time to mark you with hickeys and small bitemarks, all of which leave you a bit more of a moaning, begging mess on his lap, much to his pride. When one of your hands moves away from his neck and down his torso, he quickly catches on to what you’re doing. “Someone’s a little impatient today, huh?”
“Yes, oh god, yes! I need you to touch me, Bucky. I want to feel you inside me as you make me fall apart on your cock, and I need you to fuck me like there’s no tomorrow!” Your voice sounds more breathy than usual, but every care you thought you had has gone out the window. All you want is Bucky and his cock to ride, until you’re orgasming so hard and long you can’t remember your name.
“Okay, I will. Don’t you worry about anything, okay? Let me take care of you, and I’ll give you everything you need and more,” he reassures you in a shushing voice. You nod before kissing him again, which immediately deepens before he gently helps you get up, allowing you to take off your panties and shorts, and he can take off his pants and boxershorts, too. As soon as you’re both freed from your last pieces of clothing, you hand him a condom you retrieved from the side table drawer while he took the time to undress himself.
“Hmmm, looks so thick,” you tell him as you look at it with wide eyes, wondering how he’s going to fit inside you as you’re positioning yourself on his lap once more, your legs bracketing his thicks thighs as you get comfortable.
“I know, but I’m gonna go slow. Wouldn’t want to hurt you and your perfect, sweet little pussy.” He smiles as he holds his cock in place, your pliant body sinking onto him slowly as your fingers dig into his shoulders to steady yourself. Your hiss of pleasure is audible and your face contorts at the slight sting of him stretching you, but just like he promised, Bucky is taking it slow to ensure you’ll both have the most amazing first time.
As soon as you’re fully seated on his lap, your body goes limp against him, your face tucked in the crook of his neck as you adjust to his girth, and Bucky places soft kisses on your head while praising you through it all. “You’re doing so well for me, baby. Such a good girl for me, letting me take the lead and giving you exactly what you need.”
A small smile appears on your face as you look up at him with big, doe-like eyes, and he can’t help but smile back as the back of his fingers gently caress your cheek. He may have thought you were beautiful before, but nothing compares to this moment.
“I love you, Y/N, and I promise to take care of you with every fiber of my being,” he whispers, his lips sealing his promise against your cheek. Your eyes fall shut at his words, and his hand moves down your side until it’s on your hip again, ready for you to let him know when you’re good to go. Your bodies work in complete sync with one another with every rise and fall of your chest, and his hands guide you beautifully as you slowly sink and rise on his length.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groans, and it doesn’t take long for both of you to find your highs for the first time, and they’re serving as a promise of everything else that’s still to come in this lifetime. A few days ago, you and Bucky didn’t even know you felt the same about one another, but now you’re sharing the start of the rest of your lives, and it���s all thanks to Tony. Because without him, you wouldn’t have been able to tell the man of your dreams how much you love him.
Masterlist → Bucky Barnes
GIF: Source → All the other graphics you see are made by @vintagebuckybarnes
#fandom free bingo: bug edition#fandom free bingo: medical edition#july break bingo#post-july break bingo#bucky barnes#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#winter soldier#winter soldier angst#winter soldier fluff#winter soldier smut#winter soldier fanfiction#winter soldier imagine#winter soldier x reader#winter soldier x female reader#winter soldier x y/n#winter soldier x you#marvel#marvel angst#marvel fluff#marvel smut#marvel fanfiction#marvel imagine
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It is okay and normal to be mad at people you love sometimes. It's normal for them to be mad at you sometimes. What I think really matters, is how people treat each other when they're mad.
My partner was mad at me yesterday. I was supposed to book his ferry last week but I forgot and when I went to yesterday, the reservations were sold out. (He has really busy work days and that's why I was booking it - before anyone says he could have just booked it himself. I have a lot more spare time than he does and had agreed to do it when he asked.)
He was genuinely mad at me. He expressed feeling frustrated, but he never once yelled at me. He never once insulted me. He never once threw a past mistake in my face because he was upset.
He told me that he still loved me when he was mad at me, but he took some time to calm down. And then he came back and told me that he loved me again. I gave him a sincere apology. And we came up with an alternate solution, and we moved on.
I made plans for how I can not get so distracted in the future - because I did mess up, and part of apologizing in my opinion is aiming to do better next time.
But the point is that while he was mad at me, he never treated me poorly. He was never cruel or mean. He understood mistakes happened, but he still needed a minute to sort through his feelings. And that was okay. He was allowed that. I was genuinely upset, and I felt terrible. But he was allowed the space to be mad, and I was comforted by knowing he still loved me even if I had messed up. I used my own coping methods to deal with my feelings.
It's okay to be mad, even angry. It's okay to need space. It's just important to be mindful of how we handle our feelings, and we need to know that we don't deserve someone to be mean to us, even if they're angry.
#personal#my post#about my partner#i always get asks about how helpful it is#when i post about conflicts with my partner#so here's another
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