#he doesn't want to get affected
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a long time ago I was like "I bet there are a lot of characters that are both touch-starved and touch-averse" so. Thinks
Impostor explanation: has been around the whole scale as various identities, has a hard time understanding themselves and their own true preference. Tends to just adjust to whoever they're around.
#not an art#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#I used to be that combination team! Not anymore. Now I'm just touch starved lol#Akane and Nekomaru are doing so good im proud. I think they both get affection from each other-#-and are also just healthy enough to seek out what they need. Akane had loving siblings and Nekomaru knows the benefits of human touch#Nagito is touch starved but some of it is his own fault. Refuses to seek a solution to this problem (same with Fuyuhiko)#Peko is more touch starved than she thinks but she's so used to pushing her wants aside that she doesn't realize it yet#Kaz actually gets a lot of physical affection because he seeks it out so often! He just also always needs more.#OK thats it bye
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locklyle + hands: part 1 [part 2]
#lockwood & co#lockwood and co#lockwoodandcoedit#anthony lockwood#anthonylockwoodedit#lucy carlyle#lucycarlyleedit#locklyle#locklyleedit#pearlcaddyedit#pearlcaddy l&co#500#1k#2k#3k#4k#there's something about the way they're constantly reaching for each other#for comfort and protection and to keep each other on track#lockwood's face in the third gif gets me#he doesn't want to be affected by her--especially when she's possessed--but he is#and the fourth gif! the way they automatically know to reach for one another#the seventh gif where he's shutting down and reaches for her to steady him#twelve and thirteen aka 'obviously we must hold hands while on missions'
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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Dev.exe has stopped working.
#he cannot process that he's getting a hug#paternal warmth#a hug#any kind of affection and he doesn't know how to respond#so happy he's getting a piece of what he wants#random fandom stuff#dev#dev dimmadome#peri#fop a new wish#the fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents#fairly odd parents a new wish#fairly odd parents
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Hey, if you have speech impediments, you are so amazing.
If you stutter or have a lisp or misspeak easily or you have a flat affect or a limited verbal vocabulary or if your voice is AAC or if you just have a difference in your vocality, you are so incredibly important and amazing.
Just know that your voice is yours. Nobody will ever be able to truly take it away. Your voice is part of you, and you deserve to make it as true to you as you deem fit. I hope you have the space to grow with your voice and whatever about it makes it unique.
#positivity#disability positivity#partially because so much of voical differences arise from disability#i've developed a really annoying lisp-ish issue#and it's hard to be positive about it because it makes me feel like i'll be treated as lesser because it's a 'childish' affect#but i literally can't help it unless i spend 110% of my focus on it. and i don't have that amount of energy#but it makes me think about others and especially those who have it more intensely than i do#and i just want to uplift everybody because vocal differences are neutral at worst#man my dad always tells a story about this coworker he had who had a stutter like you wouldn't believe...#...and he was fucking BRUTALIZED for it... 'c-c-c-c-CAN YOU GET TO THE POINT?!' is how people would talk to him...#...and obviously that made his stutter twice as fucking worse and i can't imagine the shame and humiliation that followed...#...i hope he learned that those assholes were a fucking waste of time and that he doesn't have to deal with that...#...like i'm sorry but there is no fucking need to be that sadistic toward somebody who is obviously already anxious and worried
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ppl seem to like the idea of harry courting draco or harry doing big public displays of affection to ask him out (think promposals). but i feel like he'd be so awkward at dating. he doesn't quite know what to do with or show physical and emotional affection, the weasleys give him bad advice on romance, he's also oblivious when ppl are interested in him.
what he does have is earnestness and determination - he makes the first move on accident, just bursts out his feelings, brave and embarrassed.
draco knows all about courting and respects tradition, but he's not the type to make the first move (not anymore at least, not like when he was a kid, where running to his parents for safety and comfort was a luxurious option). he's calculating and weighs his options - what if he confesses but harry doesn't like him? what if he confesses and harry DOES like him? what if harry likes him, but doesn't like dating him? he's more hesitant and guarded with his feelings, but is more likely to show his affection towards loved ones.
harry asks him out in the middle of a conversation, just because he loves watching how passionate draco gets about something he loves. even after weeks of dating, draco insists on courting him the "proper way", showering him with gifts, writing letters that make harry blush, leaving loving post-its all over harry's home and work desk, delivering anonymous flowers, publicly asking if he can escort harry home (they're both embarrassed). he's touchy feely too, which harry isn't used to, but physical contact becomes easy and second nature now with draco. harry doesn't quite get the courting, yet still loves it.
harry: you already have me, draco 😊😆
draco: i still want to woo you though 🥹😤
#harry is earnest and determined in life but always had a bigger responsibility to be a hero#romance and physical affection are just kinda like. there in the back of his head#still trying to figure out what he wants and trying to express that#yet he's also touch starved and touch deprived#draco knows exactly what he wants but w/out $ and status he doesn't know how to get it#he's a very prideful person who takes a bad hit and gets humbled and becomes a better yet still prideful person#anyway this is supposed to be a cute idea of drarry courting ways#fics where harry figures out what he wants bc he's never wanted before >>>#drarry#harry potter#draco malfoy#drarry blurb#drarry headcanons#writing
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the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.
(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)
is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.
(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)
on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.
#eliot#eliot spencer#orig#further discussion in further tags#I'm being perhaps a little critical and there are other ways to read eg the fragile masculinity moments#but I Do think they were intended this way and largely come across this way#I'm quite happy playing with a fanon eliot who's better at this shit is the thing? it feels faithful enough to the original.#but this is something I'm chewing over in a rewatch and it's interesting so far#the fact that he pretty consistently respects women doesn't stop him from treating men and women differently y'know?#the fact that his bantering with hardison expresses affection and gets quite soft over time#doesn't stop him from pushing hardison away on a semi-regular basis. often physically.#the fact that the fandom unanimously decided he's an utter gentleman in matters of dating#doesn't quite negate the time he physically stopped aimee from getting away when he wanted to talk to her#though that's one I might disregard because it's so early and I think they hadn't quite figured out the characters then#and it was admittedly a brief moment followed by very consensual happenings#perhaps. honestly. eliot may be reflecting the attitudes of the show here.#which were very progressive for the time and are still startling on several fronts now but also showing definite signs of age#arguably fanon eliot (as I understand him) is eliot adjusted for inflation. as it were.#there's a lot going on here I'm having a normal amount of thoughts about it I'm. stopping now
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late night chat
#meeple.png#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii oj#ii mephone4#ii mephoj#not inherently shippy but it is based on the weird gay little version of iii in my head#anyway i think they should've had some kind of summer romance in iii that changes their view on their lives forever#and leaves them haunted by eachother in a way that neither will want to address but it sticks with them#oj is Stuck in his shitty hotel job and kind of caged himself into that the more he insists its Just the way it is and hes fine with it#while mephone has simply gotten used to running away and hiding as much as he can#neither are good coping mechanisms but the kind of experience and perspective they have could be exactly what they need to hear#oj needs to Fucking Quit while mephone needs to let himself find community and let others know him#so he doesn't feel like he Has to run or he Has to do it alone#oj has connections albeit some messier than others#and hes a bit of a bitch but definitely more liked than mephone#and mephone has the If It Sucks Hit The Bricks mentality and the bluntness to get that through to oj#oj also has the perspective of being a s1 vet which means he has a very different view on mephone than others might#and that could do some good in getting through to mephone how his host behavior can negatively affect the contestants involved#mephone views oj as more equal to him as theyre business partners. hes very friendly to him (even if one sided.) he might just listen#sorry if this rant is redundant btw im not reading back any of this HAHA
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Just saw an absolutely amazing post that convinced me that Ceroba would be the one who confesses first.
(op turned turned off reblogs unfortunately so I'm making this post (┬┬﹏┬┬)) ("Just put the link to the post here-" No, you absolute buffoon, they turned it off for a reason and I'm going to respect that) (also potential rambling?? again??) (future LM here, yep there is alot of rambling. this was supposed to be a character analysis but I accidentally made a fic halfway LMAOAOAOAOAOA )
god I'm a sucker for slow burn and angst (duh, you all know that) I used to think that Starlo wouldn't be able to take it anymore and finally get the balls to confess to her, he goes up to her and it'll be the usual cheesy but wholesome moment with him nervously laughing, Ceroba getting surprised so she turns away while brushing off some hair that got on her face, Starlo sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and stuttering to get the words out. It'll all be planned of course he's a gentleman, he's just so stupidly nice and understanding that if Ceroba just flat out tells him "I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship with you" I just know he's going to smile and tell her it's okay and he'd still be there for her and it won't affect their friendship at all and he's going to stay by her side de jashdkahsd sorry the brainworms are doing the thing again.
Of course the idea of Ceroba confessing first also came into my mind, her realizing she's in love with Starlo but now has to fight the guilt thinking that she's "betraying/cheating on Chujin" made the little angsty gremlin in me giggle but I just preferred it would be Starlo who breaks the ice just for shittles and giggles (I like seeing him get all blushy and shy HIHIHIHIH). Also adding the fact that Ceroba DID consider getting together with him but she brushes it off cuz she thinks he's still too immature. (Yes I am aware Ceroba acknowledges Starlo growing up in True Pacifist but I didn't give it that much thought I was in delulu land)
But then I saw the post and ho h my god oh my goddddddd.....
I was a fool
Starlo is aware of what Ceroba has gone through and as her childhood best friend he would respect her and not risk overwhelming her with a confession cuz OF COURSE HE WOULDNT, and if he DID consider confessing it would be YEARS after the whole "Clover-sacrificing-themselves-for-the-futue-of-monsterkind" ordeal but he would have probably fallen out of love at this point and it would go
⭐: "OH YEAH btw I had a crush on you when we were kids" 🦊: "HUH"
(not dismissing the chance he could still be in love with her despite that I mean he's dedicated and loyal and so damn devoted to her it makes sense, it was just had a funny thought giggles)
But then after reading the post, it reopened the idea of Ceroba confessing first and... oh my god it was glorious. It would start small, thinking he looked nice one day, subconsciously gazing at him and adoring him at the distance as he talks his usual nonsense at the saloon with the feisty 5, wanting to hang out with him a little more than usual, until it slowly builds up over time. She starts noticing the little things about him, his wide smile, the sound of his voice and the laughter he makes when he does his usual shenanigans with her in post-pacifist where things are starting to get brighter as they heal together, she would call him an idiot but god he would just smile at her again and the little dimples on the sides of his face would make her melt without knowing and she swears she felt her face get warm but brushes it off, thinking it's nothing. But that's where the snowball keeps getting bigger, she would see him talking to the folk again at the saloon and wish it was her he was laughing with, she'll quickly snap out of it, shake her head a little and think about how weird it was for her to have thought about that. She'd find herself beaming when he calls her name and feel so stupid for doing so, "Why am I so happy all of a sudden? He says my name all the time..."
And the snowball finally crashes when they have one of those talks, y'know the ones where you usually have at 3 am with your friends? Just talking about life in general, talking about the future, what are each of them scared of, what they feel and what they think about things, just being so vulnerable and open with each other. They've had their fair share of these talks but today was different. He looked absolutely stunning, despite being mentally exhausted he still looked divine, the way his eyes droop when his expression softens, the slow rise and fall of his chest when he sighs, his wide glistening smile turning into a small and soft curl on his lips. She can't help herself but make subtle touches and discreetly brush her shoulder against his as they lean towards the railings of the balcony, fighting the urge to just reach out and figure out small ways to make contact with him. She gazes at him the entire time, analyzing him, noticing all the little changes he makes, why can't she look away? She can't, she tried, so many times but it still ends up with her looking at him again trying to burn the image of him in her mind, wanting to leave it there forever. When the talk comes to a close, he turns to her and offers a hug, she accepts it and the moment he melts into her arms, she feels a sudden warmth on her chest and it instantly scatters around her entire body, enveloping her. They share each other's warmth, she slowly buries her face onto his shoulder, cherishing this small moment with him as they hold each other tight in each other's embrace. She's closing her eyes, inhaling his scent, it feels like she's in a dream, she doesn't want this moment to end, she doesn't wanna wake up just yet but.... They break a part, he gives her his goodbyes. As she goes home she lays in bed, face up, staring at the ceiling as she recalls everything that happened to her, putting pieces of the puzzle together as she finally comes to terms with herself and gets hit with the realization. It all comes crashing down to her, her eyes widen and she lets out an audible groan. She lays in silence for a moment, feeling absolute agony for being so stupid, she peaks through her fingers and looks back up the ceiling again, "Fuck..."
I haven't even dabbled with what goes on in her head after she accepts this fact, the sudden guilt consuming her, feeling like she betrayed Chujin, the person she loved with her entire soul only to fall for another. She hates it. And if she confesses she's going to be a wreck and Starlo just instantly goes to comfort her, telling her it's okay, she doesn't have to force herself to confess to h- No. She wants this, she's absolutely in love, he may have fallen first but she fell even harder, but with so much conflict in her mind, wanting to hold his hand without the weight on her shoulders pulling her back. The entire time they're together, Starlo finds the time to console her, comfort her, feeling horrible for making him stay up late just for her but he says he doesn't mind and he himself wants this, feeling absolutely honored to have her in her arms and that she trusts him so much that she's just so open and vulnerable and he's being so kind and patient to her I hate them I HATE THEM I FFUCKING HATE THUEJN R F FUCK FUCKF FFIFUUCJCC N I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
thE SLOW BURN IS SO SLOW BUT KEEP UP AND SET THE KITCHEN IN FLAMES PLEASE RAUGHHH
SAVE ME STAROBA W AS SAV VE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
TL;DR: uhhhh read a post and it convinced me that Ceroba slowly falls in love with Starlo over time without realizing it and when she finally does she feels really guilty cuz it feels like she's betraying Chujin, the slow burning is burning and the angst is scrumptious. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. /j
#LONG POST#sorry in advance if there were spelling errors I only proof read this a few times but im so tired we die like Chujin#Fun fact! I was sick again while I was typing this! But overtime I slowly felt better and I??????? WHHAHAAHSDHASD????????????#Staroba makes me so sick it cures me???? thats crazy (update: im sick again HAHAHAHAHAH)#There's so... SO MUCH more I want to say.#That includes Starlo slowly teaching her how to love again and Ceroba slowly opening up and letting herself accept his affection#What if Ceroba one day breaks and she just lets it all out and just cries in his arms kissing him cuz she cant take it anymore—#—shes apologizing profusely and overwhelming him with pent up frustration and bottled up love she doesn't allow herself to express—#—🦊“I-I'm sorry I'm so sorry.. I'm so selfish and greedy for this but I love you so much it hurts"—#—But he just smiles and lets her smother him... like shes kissing him while apologizing at the same time and he just keeps comforting her—#—saying things like ⭐:“it's okay” ⭐:“don't apologize” ⭐:“I'm fine”—#—bUT HE KEEPS GETTING CUT OFF WITH KISSES KAJSHDAHSDHDAJSHDASJDHASHDASHD IM BEING SO NORMAL ABOUT IT#OMG CHAT. HEAR ME OUT. CEROBA GETS BABY FEVER RAUGHGHGHHGHGHGHG IM SO OMG IM SO#*gets shot out of nowhere and falls down on the ground peter griffin style*#LM whispers#undertale yellow#undertale yellow spoilers#uty starlo#uty ceroba#staroba#character analysis
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Was just thinking about the amount of animals Obi-Wan interacts with compared to literally everyone else and in the Clone Wars episode where Kamino gets attacked he literally gets saved twice by the same ray-like animal and just...
The growth from judging Qui-Gon for the 'pathetic lifeforms' he picks up to whatever he has going on during the Clone Wars era. He must have gotten that from Qui-Gon though, right?
And because it's my brain and it's rotting with all the star wars stuff I am consuming I was thinking of Obi-Wan saving all these creatures and the 212th having to deal with that. Surely they made one of the rooms pet proof in case one of them needs a new home. There also have to be clones who love that because of course Obi-Wan can't really take care of rescues on top of all his duties.
After the first few times this happens Cody learns to order animal food and other necessities. And if the Republic doesn't fulfill these requests or asks too many questions he'll just have to make sure to organize them on planet during the campaigns.
#maybe they even keep a tooka or two#for the morale#but seriously#i have been thinking about writing a soft crackfic about this#just the 212th travelling with a whole zoo#already made up my own clones and all#cody is very done but it makes his general happy so who is he to complain?#when the 501st learn about it they start bothering Rex about it#or they ask Anakin ans Ahsoka to do thr same type of Jedi magics#they want pets too can you blame them?#obi wan is pretty oblivious to all of this#he just wants to help!!#and the tenth tooka was looking just *so* sad what was he supposed to do? leave it all alone and sad and scared?#it's just chaos all around#but also so soft#clones don't get a lot of chances to pet any animals during their training and war doesn't really offer these opportunities either#so whenever other battalions work with the 212th and learn about their zoo they get excited#accidental therapy animals for the clones#and the jedi because what better way to find the energy to keep fighting and bonding with an innocent lifeform that gets affected by the war#adoptions go wild#the wolfpack asks Plo for wolves#Plo struggles to say no#star wars#tcw#obi wan kenobi#212th attack battalion#commander cody#accidental animal acquisition#I just remembered vaguely that in one of the Jedi Apprentice books Obi Wan has a bird on his shoulder??#maybe he didn't get this from Qui Gon after all though I'm sure Qui Gon encouraged and reinforced that behaviour
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have a snippet from the lil kwami swap thing i'm working on!
High above the streets of Paris, Mister Bug and Lady Noire talk about love.
It's a dangerous topic, to be sure; one that has to be tiptoed around with utmost care. A balancing act for Mister Bug. For Lady Noire too, perhaps, but she never seems like it affects her quite as much. Maybe that's why she's the one who brings it up.
"Are you in love, Mister Bug?"
His feet, from where they'd been kicking back and forth rhythmically, come to a stop. "Huh?"
"I'm just curious," says Lady Noire. On the rooftop they sit, there's more than a few centimeters of space between them. A gap that they're both waiting for Mister Bug to bridge. He only wishes he could. "Are you?"
Mister Bug tries to catch her eye. "Are you sure you want to talk about this? We... we don't have to--"
She waves a clawed hand in the air dismissively. "It's fine," she says, even though he knows it's not. He wonders what it is that's fine: talking about love, or talking about love when they both know he won't -- he can't -- reciprocate her feelings? "I wanna know. Is there anyone you love?"
There is.
#miraculous ladybug#mister bug#lady noire#misternoire#kwami swap#fic snippet#kwami swaps are fun but also frustrating#bc there is SO much behind the scenes stuff that needs to be considered#like if adrien is the ladybug then that means he would be the guardian right#wouldn't that affect his hero persona then? wouldn't he be the one to be more responsible and careful?#and for marinette wouldn't lady noire be more of an escape? a time in her life when she DOESN'T have to be so responsible and careful?#and kwami swap means reverse crush#which comes with its own complications#because if lady noire has a crush on her partner and also sees her persona as an escape#then wouldn't SHE be the more flirty one? and wouldn't mister bug constantly hold himself back not wanting to give her the wrong idea?#the one time in his life someone has trusted him enough to give him a responsibility#wouldn't he do all he could to uphold that and take it seriously?#whatever...you get it#tldr#this is way more character work than i thought it would be#nemali writes
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yknow what. tommy was buck's most functional relationship to date actually. yeah it wasn't the most exciting he had ever had and they didn't click that much but tommy was not about to move to another country or scared of what it meant to date a guy who risks his life for a living, he didn't grow to resent buck because they were fundamentally incompatible, he basically said "i would have loved to move in with you down the line but I can't because /you/ don't really want to. you just don't know it yet." because buck has misconstructed the idea of a romantic partner down to the bones of "i need someone that's my girlboyfriend because everyone has a girlboyfriend and it's all im missing to be complete." except he already takes everything that a partner could give you from eddie. a home, reassurance, family, someone who understands him and cares for him, someone he calls when he's down, someone who takes him to the hospital and sits with him and tells him when he's being stupid. that's eddie. buck knows it's eddie. so everything every other love interest does for buck will simply bounce off the walls of his beautifully insane brain and he can never understand what's wrong. why did tommy leave him? he didn't ask for much. (unaware that's the exact point). he's not looking for a partner he's looking for a paper-thin placeholder. imagine what it will feel like once he realizes he can just put the right name to the man who's been there all along and call it a day.
#911 on abc#evan buckley#buddie#like it's so so so transparent he doesn't want anyone else's love or affection what do you mean#all you need to be a buckpartner is 1) be there 2) that's it#don't worry about the actual emotional fulfilment we got another guy for that#and he's so completely unaware of all of it#that when tommy says i know how this ends 😔 take edde to the lakers games#buck doesn't get it. he goes to eddie BECAUSE he doesn't get it.#like of course he's gonna go to the diaz house when he's in distress where else would he go?#that's his emotional support completely straight bestie#they're so stupid#it's wonderful
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Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.
G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.
An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........
#the unwanted guest#the unwanted guest spoilers#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#augustine the first#pyrrha dve#palamedes sextus#this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate)#the locked tomb meta#the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though.#of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world#utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there#and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea#when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter#it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level'#she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him#because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing#to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after#IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival#ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god#gaining nothing at the cost of everything
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yoohoo, I just need you to know you've ruined my life✌️ /j but like. finished reading frequency, what three days ago now? and since the moment I put it down, I have been. directionless. listless. I am consumed by, not DESPAIR, because despair is too passionate a word but. dissatisfaction? I miss the life I lived while I was still reading it. which is honestly rather appropriate considering some of the themes in the fic. I miss the person I was when half of my mind existed in the realm of the au. I fear I may never get over it and I may never recover the life I once had before this fic ruined me for all others, but I also cannot bring myself to regret reading it even if I never feel satisfaction again. I have tasted ambrosia, and the bread and wine of men shall forever be ash upon my tongue. pay my therapy bill.
i know these asks were sent in july but i love them and want to immortalize before they get buried in my inbox
first of all thank you so much!!! frequency has been one of my favourite projects to do over the past couple years i love that ppl are so into this absurdly niche fic. (i cannot pay ur therapy u simply must reread it forever rip (i mean writing it was like 50/50 self-indulgence and catharsis which means maybe reading it does the same thing lmaoo))
second yes! yeah it was Six who changed the timeline. a big old theme, possibly the main theme, of the whole fic is about change and who gets to create it. Six mirrors Thad in the ways that he believes himself unworthy of importance, and that the capacity to create change is inherently barred from him because of who and what he is.
so it was really important that Six was the one to make the choice to try change things - the guy whos entire powerset relies on being as inconsequential as possible. it shatters the original timeline, it results in his death, it causes a lot of very bad ripple effects, but he also saves Nathaniel. who saves Jude. who together both save Thad - who saves Bart and CRAYDL and defeats Three and discovers his own capacity for change in the process.
that was sort of the point of the whole "the spectrum of change is a horizon, not a tower" litany. there's no hierarchy. anybody can go towards it, they just gotta choose where they're going.
Six doesn't really save the day, but by wrenching the prewritten tragedy off its course, he creates the opportunity for Thad & co. to save it themselves.
#asks#frequency fic#morriganmisbeth#genuinely fell so in love with Six while writing frequency and it definitely shows lmao#but at his core he's basically just Thad's fixation on ''importance'' taken to its logical extreme#Six doesn't think he can do anything about anything so he doesn't even try. because he's - in a very meta sense - not the main character#in the same way that Three - in a very meta sense - has decided his only escape is to Become The Main Character#it matters a lot when Six ''goes linear'' because (by fostering real connections with Jude and Nathaniel) he has become part of the story#and therefore has to experience it like everyone else#and has the capacity to affect the narrative like everyone else#like Three's whole speech to Bart about ''if the universe didn't want me to kill you somebody wouldve stopped me by now''#is basically 2 degrees away from a kinda meta awareness that - purely by virtue of being the main character - Bart has plot armor#Three knows that if he becomes Bart Allen he can basically do anything and everything#because there wouldn't be a fucking story otherwise#and then Thad's ultimate realization in the end is that. yknow. hes a person. and Bart's a person.#and obsessing over who gets to do x or y because the ''universe'' says so is bullshit#hes literally part of the universe he gets to do whatever he wants because HE says so#tags went long sorry i like talking abt this
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I think the worst bit for me about all Those Sorts (you know the type) of fics is that they always take Della extremely out of character in order to make her the 'antagonist.'
And that sucks because it's just not necessary! It's the worst because you can have Della & Louie angst where Della's the 'antagonist,' and it's in-character.
You just have to have Louie be wrong in the end (kind of).
The reason why Della and Louie clash in Timephoon and Glomtales! isn't because Della 'disapproves of scheming in entirety' or something, it's because she's done the same goddamn thing as him.
(And side note- Timephoon is honestly an amazing piece of storytelling, because it allows us to see Della's thought process for taking the Spear of Selene by showing us Louie doing pretty much the same thing.)
She's been through it all before, and she knows how it ends.
And that fucking terrifies her! The idea that one of her kids is making the same mistakes as her, could go through the same thing as she did, and she's the only one who can see it, is terrifying.
The way to start out a story like this is simple; have an adventure go wrong. Not in a deadly way, not in a way that's caused by Louie (at least, not that anyone but him notices), not in a way that costs anyone their life- but in a way that causes them to lose the treasure. The adventure is a failure, and they have to come back empty handed, like New Gods on the Block.
Maybe some people get hurt, maybe it's vaguely Louie's fault (and even then- it'd be better if it wasn't even his fault, it's just his brain connecting patterns where there aren't any), but the most important part is that they don't get the treasure, and it's like- one of those ones that can only be found once every hundred years or something.
Louie feels responsible (I mean all of the kids do, but as it'd be a Louie story he'd be the one focused on) and upset that they want to all that trouble and don't have anything to show for it, so he tries to figure out some way to go on the adventure again.
Turns out, after a bit of research, there is a way to get to the treasure again! Louie brings it to Scrooge's attention excitedly- but Scrooge turns it down. Says it's too dangerous, that they're not doing it, end of story.
...Not end of story- everyone's still obviously miserable. So Louie decides that 'okay, if it's 'too dangerous,' then I'll just go in secret. It'll be fine, Scrooge is just overreacting.'
So he starts trying to put a plan into place to get the treasure in secret- but Della, somehow, seems to know what he's doing (hint: it's because she knows what she'd do if she was in Louie's shoes). And is consistently getting in his way.
And there you go- a perfect setup to have Della consistently and purposefully stepping on Louie's toes, getting in his way, trying to stop him from doing things, and it's even in-character! It'd probably start out with the two acting like everything's perfectly hunky-dory, even though both of them know that the other knows that they know that the other knows why they did this one thing.
As plans get deeper, it'd escalate to Della trying to actively call Louie out, but he always manages to just barely weasel his way out of it, and eventually commence his plan.
It obviously goes wrong. But Della's there to help. And finally she'd actually explain why the fuck she's been something of a thorn in his side for the past few weeks, why it seems like she knows what he's thinking: because she does.
Because she's been through the same thing.
Because she fucked up, and left her stranded on the moon for ten years, and she does not want that for her kid. (And of course everything could've been solved if she'd just sat down and talked to Louie about that at the onset, but it's Della- she only likes to bring up the moon when it's funny. She would've thought 'nah it's fine, I can handle this, I don't need to bare my soul, I shouldn't burden anyone with that' without realizing that oh yeah, no, that's the exact same thought process she doesn't want Louie to think)
And of course they'd argue, because it'd be a high-stress situation and neither of them would have the composure to pretend that everything's alright and they haven't been sniping at each other for the past week or so, and eventually it'd finally come up; eventually, they'd finally bring up that they thought the exact same thing when Louie did this, when Louie took the Timetub, when Della took the Spear.
'...And if anything goes wrong, at least I'm the only one who'll get hurt.' (Because you cannot tell me that that was not the last thought running through both of their heads when they took the timetub/Spear of Selene, you cannot convince me that they didn't think they were doing right by their families in that moment, that they hadn't done their due diligence and minimized risk down to one person.)
And Louie wouldn't understand, because he did the right thing. He minimized risk, he made sure nobody else would get hurt. But that's wrong- because if he got hurt, then Della (Donald, Scrooge, their family, her kids) would get hurt too. That they could fly into a vacuum all they wanted, but at the end of the day, they still didn't exist in one.
Eventually, they'd get out of there and abandon the mission again. Maybe they'd succeed, but probably not. But that's not important- what'd be important is that they were both safe and alive and okay.
There- a Della & Louie thing, extremely angsty, well Della as the 'antagonist,' and it's all in-character. Easy.
#ducktales#dt17#della duck#louie duck#the 'adventure that can only be done every hundred years with one extremely dangerous exception' can obviously be interchanged with a lot#all that's really necessary is that louie has a plan that he thinks is good for everyone#(and in order to make it good for everyone he does his best to make sure that he's the only one who'd get affected by it should it go wrong#and Della gets underfoot and messes with everything consistently and frustratingly without explaining anything for the longest time#(because she's terrible about actually opening up about the fact that yeah no she's fucked up)#(and she doesn't want to force that onto her kids or acknowledge it at all- at least if it's not a joke)#because she knows exactly what he's doing because it's what she'd do#and she knows what happened the last time she pulled that sort of stunt
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Call Down The Hawk ch 51 // Greywaren ch 25
#matthewedit#declanedit#trcedit#tdtedit#Matthew Lynch#Declan Lynch#TRC#TDT#quote posts#chicken or the egg my love?#do you actually not want/need physical affection? or did you decide that because you weren't getting it?#oh everybody loves Matthew he's so sweet and happy and easy and loving and huggable#so everything that Declan isn't#right?#that's fine he doesn't care about being those things anyway it's whatever#catch me crying in the club
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