#i have been thinking about writing a soft crackfic about this

[nakaremfarlei]

Was just thinking about the amount of animals Obi-Wan interacts with compared to literally everyone else and in the Clone Wars episode where Kamino gets attacked he literally gets saved twice by the same ray-like animal and just...

The growth from judging Qui-Gon for the 'pathetic lifeforms' he picks up to whatever he has going on during the Clone Wars era. He must have gotten that from Qui-Gon though, right?

And because it's my brain and it's rotting with all the star wars stuff I am consuming I was thinking of Obi-Wan saving all these creatures and the 212th having to deal with that. Surely they made one of the rooms pet proof in case one of them needs a new home. There also have to be clones who love that because of course Obi-Wan can't really take care of rescues on top of all his duties.

After the first few times this happens Cody learns to order animal food and other necessities. And if the Republic doesn't fulfill these requests or asks too many questions he'll just have to make sure to organize them on planet during the campaigns.

[sugudoe]

⋆ ˚ ཐིiཋྀ ˚ ⋆ 𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗠𝗘 𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝗬𝗢𝗨 ── ✎ ₊· 𝗷𝗷𝗸

✶ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: in desperate need of a skin, you, a talented beginner tattoo artist, decides to test your partner and his love for you in a comical way — “ can i tattoo you ? ’’

✶ 𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i’ve been drawing for a couple of days now, and this is inspired by my sibling ( a tattoo artist ) and their influence on me, cause i too wish i could tattoo myself whenever i’m bored. ALSO i know we all see geto as tough but i had to!! and nanami surprised even me but the vision is visioning, you can not deny. I KNOW you can’t do many tattoos in one setting but please it’s just for plot. divider by: @cafekitsune

✶ 𝐬𝐲𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬: fluff / crackfic / smau with writing / reader has no gender / english is not my first language / there is mistakes because the app beat my ass sowwy / mentions of needles and pain / foul language / suggestive theme and horny police for nanami

✶ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: gojo ﾉ geto ﾉ nanami

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

Satoru is sitting in your chair, ankles fully on display for you, but you’re actually occupied with keeping everything sanitized in the makeshift space of your boyfriend’s spacious room. He is laughing and acting tough until he hears the buzz of the machine, then he stops and gulps.

“Shit, sweets. Don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“It’s too late.” You answer with a devilish smirk, before laughing and putting the pen down. “It’s okay if you don’t want anymore, no pressure.”

Maybe it’s the combo of your puppy eyes with small pout, but Gojo falls for your antics and let you have your way in his skin, it’s takes just a few minutes before you end the drawing of the little ants crawling his ankles. He, obviously, has the limitless off, and that scares him a bit — to feel pain, see dots of his blood. But when he looks at your concentrated face, pain dissolves, and he is happy to have something permanently his made by you, his only love.

By the end, though, he grins at you and asks for another one, bigger, blue! And you make the design and ink him again, before realizing you did not gave him the Suguru cat, but you fall for his dragon. Bitch.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

Geto can see black dots in his vision when he lays belly down on the bed. He is a tough guy, been through stuff you have only an ideia about. You could guess by the minimal details and the fucking huge scar on his chest, he has been deeply cut by something. Still, he is scared of the needle you are holding.

But here he is, presenting his blank large and sexy back to you, making you rethink of doing another thing instead of the tattoo, but you have your opportunity and need to grab it.

“My love, are you ready?” You voice has the buzzing sound of the machine in the background, Suguru groans at that.

“Please, beat me to sleep.” It’s all he says before you touch his face. Before you can say anything, he talks again. “I’m fine, I think. I trust you a lot, baby.”

Suguru soon learns how soft and weightless your hand feels, because although something is burning in his back, he thinks is just you rubbing alcohol — that is until he wonders why are you rubbing alcohol for twenty straight minutes now, and then he shifts his face a bit to stare at you. He almost passed out again when he realized the tattoo is already in progress, but he is fine, and simply goes back to his original head position, before deciding to sleep.

Suguru wakes up hours later with this intricate tattoo on his upper back, he smiles and flexes his muscles on the mirror before staring at you, seeing you googling him. Yeah, if you keep looking at him like that and your hands feeling like feather, he may enjoy this whole thing — he does! By the end of the year, his whole torso is designed by you.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

Nanami presented you what could be called a slideshow of tattoos he would like to have. Basically he made a pinterest board and added you to put the tattoos you would think he look nice with (basically all you’ve seen).

By saturday, he is wearing a white shirt, showcasing his big arm’s muscles, you get occupied with a little thing before you even start to prepare the living room. Now, he has no shirt anymore.

“So, what did you choose for me, love?” His soothing voice asks you, he is sitting by your dinner table and you smile at him, showing your tablet with the many arts you made based on what both he and you liked.

“Now you pick one and we start.”

“Can I have all of them?” Oh.. “I like the art, you are so talented, love. Let me be your canvas, do what you want.” Yeah, you get occupied again in the day.

It’s nighttime when you crack your bones and look at both of your boyfriend’s arm, all inked up. He stares at you normally, no pain, no heavy breathing. He really was a punk in high school.

“So, since we already did all 12, can we finish the chest as well? I think legs would be nice too, or neck… I can have neck tattoos now!” Nanami says with a energetic voice when both of you are eating pasta later.

“Damn baby, you are getting addicted.” You sit on his lap, eyes focused on the ink all over him. “Yeah, we can do all that.”

[rileyslibrary]

I love your sense of humour and have cracked up at your stories multible times. Maby you can find some inspiration in this:

Price ordering the team to an etiquette training so they know how to behave in case they have to go under cover in a more "fancy" environment (or the upcoming mission may require something like this). I'm thinking about Ghosts "sausage fingers" from the origami bit on a delicate litte cake fork... Or him needing to *converse* with someone.

I think putting these hard soldiers in a situation that's out of their comfort zone is always a fun read!

Thank you for letting us enjoy your fantastic writing! <3

Be gentle, man!

Relationship: TF141 x F!Reader with a potential Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader (platonic?) on the horizon. Also there’s an OC in the story.

Word Count: 1,598 (approx. 7-8 min reading time)

Notes: I began writing this last night as a joke, and couldn’t stop. Thank you SO MUCH for inspiring me to do this, anon. It’s a crackfic btw. (There’s a part 2 now here)

———————————————————————

The training room feels out of place compared to its usual purpose. Bathed in the soft glow of candlelight, the once-busy gym has been transformed into a classroom for an unlikely lesson—manners, of all things. Table manners, to be precise.

“Talk about Fitness Vs. Finesse,” Soap whispers, and you playfully nudge his side. The comment reaches Gaz’s ears, and he lets out a chuckle. Yet, Price’s death stare reclaims your attention and brings you back to focus.

You all sit around a long, polished mahogany table atop the gym’s boxing ring, admiring the delicate china and crystal glassware set before you. It reminds you of Aunt Claire’s preserved collection, which rarely leaves its cabinet. Lady Theodora, your etiquette instructor, assures you that each piece serves a purpose, and you will put them all to use. Every. Single. One of them.

Lady Theodora, the epitome of timeless confidence, moves gracefully around the table. Her silver hair is slicked back, framing a face that exudes years of wisdom and experience. Her Bordeaux-coloured shawl billows behind her as she glides, catching the gentle breeze her steps create. She pauses behind Price’s chair and reveals the reason behind today’s masterclass: an undercover operation.

“In the world of espionage, where appearances can mean the difference between life and death,” she says in a soft voice, “the art of etiquette becomes a weapon, a shield, and,” she concludes, resting her hand on Price’s shoulder, “your ticket to survival.”

“Bollocks.”

All eyes are drawn to the far end of the table, where a shadowy figure prefers to go unnoticed but isn’t afraid to express doubts. The only visible sign of life is a hand fidgeting with the butterknife.

“I beg your pardon, Lieutenant.” Lady Theodora says, and Ghost leans forward, revealing his unmasked—and visibly annoyed—face.

“We’re soldiers, not knights,” he claims. “Teaching us how to use all these,” he says, motioning to the various utensils before him, “is a waste of time, both yours and mine.”

Lady Theodora regards him gently as if looking at a child throwing a tantrum. She smiles and walks behind him, gripping the back of his chair.

“You seem quite certain of your own competence and doubtful of mine, Mr Riley,” she says, amused.

Ghost tilts his head to the side, partially facing her.

“With all due respect, Lady Theodora,” he replies, “I don’t believe you fully comprehend how such missions operate.”

Lady Theodora lets a light chuckle as she moves closer to Ghost’s face.

“My record of 25 confirmed kills, three of which were accomplished with a butterknife like the one in your hand, might suggest otherwise,” she admits. “Now, would you kindly move your seat forward, Lieutenant? I’ll show you how to act like a proper gentleman.”

Ghost’s Adam’s apple bobbles as he swallows hard. He returns the butterknife to its original position and pushes his chair forward with Lady Theodora’s help.

Gaz clears his throat and looks at Soap.

“Imagine her dinner parties,” he whispers so Price doesn’t hear him, “they must be perfectly executed.”

“Bet she makes a killer soufflé,” Soap whispers back.

You look at them and mutter, “You two are beyond help.” Unfortunately, it’s your own comment that catches Price’s attention this time, and he gives you a stern warning to behave.

“Let’s get started,” Lady Theodora says. “Projecting confidence and grace requires proper posture: sit up straight, shoulders back, and imagine a string pulling you upward from the crown of your head.”

You all adjust your posture, attempting to imitate Lady Theodora. Ghost used to a more relaxed posture, finds it difficult to maintain the required formality. His broad shoulders hunch forward, and he struggles to keep his legs straight.

“Excellent,” Lady Theodora remarks, catching Ghost’s struggle but choosing not to comment further. “Next, we shall delve into the art of dining. Each utensil on the table has a specific purpose, and it is essential to use them correctly.”

She points to the array of utensils laid out before you. Multiple forks, knives, and spoons of various sizes and shapes make the sight overwhelming.

“The outermost utensils are for the earlier courses, while the inner ones are for the later ones.” Lady Theodora says, “It’s like unwrapping a gift, one course at a time.”

You all nod and place the napkin on your lap to begin the process.

Ghost’s ingrained military habits take over when food is served, causing him to devour it quickly. He shovels forkfuls of food into his mouth without looking up and barely pausing to chew.

“Mr Riley,” Lady Theodora addresses Ghost, who shoots his head up to look at her. “I understand the military inclination to eat fast, but we must remember that the food isn’t going anywhere. Take your time, savour each bite, and enjoy your meal, please.”

“Sorry ’bout that.” Ghost mumbles with his mouth full.

Lady Theodora raises an eyebrow. “Mr Riley, it is impolite to speak with your mouth full,” she reminds him. “Please, swallow your food before continuing.”

Ghost swallows and clears his throat. “Apologies, Lady Theodora,” he mutters.

Lady Theodora smiles and nods at Ghost’s response. “Very well, Lieutenant Riley,” she says. “Remember, dining is about more than just the food; it’s also about the company and the experience.”

As the training continues, you witness Soap’s attempts to initiate a proper conversation, only to subconsciously bring up military strategies. Gaz, on the other hand, struggles with small talk and, when asked about his hobbies, blurts out his love of explosions.

“Kerosene is one hell of a—”

“No kerosene talk on the table, Sergeant,” Lady Theodora interrupts. “How about we talk about something more appropriate, like, for example, what did you do today?”

“You’re not going to like it.” He replies.

“Did it involve kerosene?” She asks and receives multiple excited nods from Gaz.

Ghost forgets about his napkin while using the finger bowl and instinctively flicks his hands to dry them. Droplets of water scatter across the table, and Lady Theodora steps forward with a calm smile. She retrieves his napkin and hands it to him. “Remember, Lieutenant,” she whispers, “the napkin is your ally.”

Throughout this ordeal, Price seems to be the only one who already has a natural fluidity in his movements. Like he already knows about etiquette.

You compliment his impeccable manners, but Lady Theodora intervenes before Price can respond.

“Oh, that’s because the Captain already received my services a few years ago,” she reveals, winking.

Price, caught off guard, coughs and sputters, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. After regaining his composure, he clears his throat and grins.

“Yes, well, Lady Theodora’s guidance has been, um, invaluable,” he manages to say and lowers his gaze to his plate. Gaz raises an eyebrow, and Soap gives a sly smile.

With the etiquette training completed, Price gracefully positions his utensils on his plate and folds his napkin. Lady Theodora hands him a file stack, which he distributes to you.

“These files contain detailed background information for your assigned roles,” he explains. “Study them carefully; familiarise yourselves with the personas you will embody, and don’t worry; with Lady Theodora’s help, you’ll have plenty of time to learn how to carry yourselves.”

He watches you all as you take hold of your respective files, scanning the pages and absorbing the details that will shape your performances.

“Gaz, within those pages, you’ll uncover the roadmap to shape your tech persona, along with essential contacts and valuable industry insights,” Price declares.

“A startup entrepreneur,” Gaz mutters and nods, “nice.”

“Soap,” Price continues, “your file contains the lineage and history of an alleged oil tycoon family; you’ll assume the identity of their sole son and heir to the business.”

“Why do I get the oil-moneyed spoiled brat?” Soap protests, “Gaz is the one obsessed with fossil fuel!”

Price looks at Lady Theodora, silently begging her to take the lead.

“Focus on embodying the demeanour of an heir, Sergeant MacTavish,” she comforts Soap. “Acquiring in-depth knowledge of the business is not a top priority now.”

Finally, Price shifts his focus to you and Ghost. His voice softens, and a smile appears on his lips.

“As for the two of you,” he says, “your assignment requires a convincing portrayal of a couple.”

You and Ghost exchange a brief look before returning your focus to the files in your hands.

“Laswell will provide you with a forged marriage certificate and photos of your alleged relationship,” Price continues. “The documents will serve as tangible proof if the need to validate your connection arises.”

“Any chance to let us know who or what we’re after?” Gaz asks, and Price shakes his head.

“Baby steps, Sergeant; we’re waiting for Laswell to give us more intel,” he explains, “but as far as we know, we’re dealing with people who can buy their way out of some very sketchy shit.”

“Language, Captain.” Lady Theodora reminds him.

“Please accept my sincere apologies, Theodora,” he says and turns to Gaz. “I meant sketchy things, Sergeant.”

As they continue discussing the mission, your mind wanders on the latest information. Ghost’s partner? How? You look at the file and then back at Ghost. You see Lady Theodora walking behind Ghost’s chair and leaning close to his ear. She looks at you and whispers to him.

“I told you, Lieutenant,” she says, “I’ll mould you into a proper gentleman.”

Ghost turns to face you as well. “I’m afraid that’s impossible, Lady Theodora,” he replies.

But Lady Theodora smiles and touches his shoulder, “Oh, you’ll see, Mr Riley—you’re my gift to unwrap, one course at a time.”

———————————————————————

Part 2 ->

[just-some-random-blogger]

Hey! Hope you're having a fab day <3 I came across your lil Daemon/Matt 'crackfic' and it gave me such a giggle...plus also got me thinking about a similar scene with Aemond/Ewan..! Obviously no pressure to write this, but what about a sorta Aemond x reader scene where they're maybe filming a sparring scene? Fight training/flirting vibes? Doesn't have to be anything spicy, maybe just fluffy flirty good times but also realistically aemond x reader sparring = *sexual tension* so lol, take from it what you will. As I say, no pressure at all to write this. I love your blog so much and am such a fan of your work! Wishing you a wonderful weekend xoxo

Choke 'Em

Ewan Mitchell x Actress!Reader (low key Aemond x Reader)

Summary: You and Tom were very much convinced that Ewan is good at everything, so you had a bet that even if you took Ewan surprise in one of your sparring takes, he could 100% overpower you. Things don't necessarily go as planned.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: fem!reader, drama instigator!tom glynn-carney, puppy!ewan, idk how to choreograph action 😞, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: YES IN A MILLLION LANGUAGEs, i watched like this one of 3 actors from the last kingdom saying they think ewan is good at everything or something along the lines, and then theres this gif set of tom glynn-carney saying that he was going to bite ewan and ewan was basically "aw yeah!" and ASFHLASHFHASFHFHA PUPPY im love him, anyway, i had those stuff in mind when i wrote this i hope you like it my love floofdeloop. i did an express pass on your req cos i have been writing rpfs lol also this gif T_T HES SO ??????????? HOT ????? HELP ME WHY DO I THINK THIS OF HIM ???? HWELP? Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda

"No!" I exclaim, shoving Tom from the floor we were sat on. He nearly chokes on his salad as he falls to his side and laughs. His hand darts out to keep him upright, his laughter dies down when he turns to me.

I continue, "I can't attack him outside of the choreography we practiced!"

"I'm not telling you to do that!" Tom says, raising his voice in amusement, "I'm saying maybe just-" he breathes out through his nose, "go a bit harder than normal? Or-or add a few licks to-"

"Tom," I deadpan.

"Oh, please," he blows a raspberry, "against him? You're dead meat."

"He's not immune to accidents, lame brain," I take the final bites of my sandwich.

"All I'm saying is, Ewan is probably, like, secretly a swordsman."

"Dude," I point, "there's nothing secret about that."

I look out to the set, watching as Ewan, who quickly finished his lunch to rebuff on our choreography, twist the prop sword in his hands with much ease and mastery.

I chew slowly, "maybe I could tell him I'm doing extra attacks beforehand."

Tom, who stuffed some salad into his face as he too watched Ewan from afar, turns to me, perking up in intrigue. He speaks with a mouthful quite excitedly, "yes, yes, yeth, weth!"

I give him a look then purse my lips as I shove a tissue to his mouth

When we got to filming the dialogue part of our scene, we already set a pretty high bar for our consequential fight sequence, and so when I offered the idea of adding an extra few jabs in my sword fighting, not just to Ewan, but to our fight choreographer and director, they were all on board with it.

"I was thinking I could," I start, raising my imaginary weapon up, pointing at Ewan, "try to jab at you by your throat, then," I slowly step forward, twirling the way we did in practice, "once you evade me, I could elbow you," I bring my arm by his chest and slowly push him back, "and shove you against the wall."

Ewan, following my train of thought and movements, steps back and leans back on the wall. He nods, looking down at me with a soft smile, "I like it," he turns to the choreographer, "I think it adds to their tension."

I turn to our choreographer and director, nodding, "then we could add the dialogue we scraped off cause there was no room for it."

The director claps his hands, "I love it," he motions to us, "then you can grab her, and try to make her confess."

I turn to Ewan, leaning back into him a bit so that he could bring his arms around me. I turn front then look down at his arms that were coming around me. I pull him tightly around me like a jacket.

Ewan has no choice but to lean into me; my back was against his chest and I could hear his breathing. He was a welcome presence in all honesty. Quickly, I relax against him and he seemingly does the same against me.

"Well obviously not like that," the director calls, "you look like a married couple if you do that."

We break into a laugh. I lean against him, "it's not too late to change the script. She and Aemond could away together."

Ewan hums, as though he was in character, "I think he would like that."

I snort, turning to Ewan and his eyepatch, "I would like that."

Ewan's eye darts down to me quickly. He purses his lips, holding back a chuckle. I pull away from him when I see the pink in his skin, laughing a bit louder.

"Shall we give it a go?" the director asks.

One nod later, and were back in our marks, ready to tryout our added choreo.

"You lied to me," I heave, "you told me you would release my father if I gave you the information you needed.

Aemond walks over to me, hands behind his back, "I said I would think about releasing your father."

My expression drops, my nostrils flare, "liar."

He hums.

"Craven!"

He chuckles.

"MONSTER!" I lunge towards him and the next second, Aemond has his sword unsheathed. We go against each other, weapon against weapon, then he overpowers me, sending me reeling back. I push against the crates behind me, as the prince calls out, "let me offer you another deal you surely cannot refuse."

I fume, groaning, "I think we're past deals, oh prince."

"Oh, but I-"

Aemond's eye widens as I press forward a few lines too early. Like clockwork, I attack him just like we practiced earlier, except, he was clearly taken off guard and reacts a bit too late.

Once I have him pressed against he wall, he looks down at me, shocked, heaving.

He's forgotten his line.

I make up for his silence, "perhaps you are prettier up close."

"CUT!"

I pull away from Ewan, turning to him, dropping my prop. I reach out to his cheeks, giving him a worried look, "are you okay? I didn't injure you, did I?"

"I-" his hands come up to my wrists, "no, no," he chuckles under his breath, "I was just a bit floored by how fearsome my lady is."

My face contorts into a smile, "my lady, am I?"

"I-" he opens his mouth, "well, I mean... yes."

We both break into a chuckle. It seems we both had blood rising up our necks now.

"That was amazing!" the director calls, walking up to us, making us pull away, "I like these turn of events more than what we had planned."

"What if they have more contact?" Ewan pipes up, coming in front of me, "in this part, instead of being turned back," he looks at me intently, "you can lift your sword to my neck then choke me."

I gasp when he takes my hand and places it by the base of his throat. It was quite softly spoken, but it seems it was not soft enough, "damn, that's kinky."

Ewan's jaw slacks.

I break into a chuckle, playing it off, just as the director laughs, proceeding to say, "I like it! The more sexual tension the better." He turns to me, "choke him real good."

Ewan begins to stutter. My own jaw slacks as I feel my face heat up. I awkwardly nod and salute, "will do."

[chuuyascumsock]

Hot Cocket || Minors DNI

I just realized I never posted my Dazai fucking a hot pocket fic on here. If the Ao3 babes had to suffer, y’all do too LMAO.

Summary: Ah, yes, welcome to the bullshit that I call “art”. Today’s episode: Dazai fucks a Hot Pocket. Don’t ask me what gave me this idea, my friend came up with it so thank him for this utter monstrosity. I suppose I’ll take the smallest bit of credit for wanting to write a crackfic of Dazai sticking his dick in something he shouldn’t— because it’s called having a sense of humor.

Tags: Dazai Osamu/Hot Pocket, I talk about how dazai would definitely be a ham and cheese hot pocket kind of a guy, I make kind of weird metaphorical jokes, If Asagiri gets to blow children up then I can throw them into traffic, descriptions of fucking a hot pocket, descriptions of burning the dick (because he’s fucking a HOT pocket), um… creampie in a hot pocket..?, oh— and then Fyodor eats the hot cum pocket lol.

Dazai had been feeling particularly lonely on a Saturday night.

Without any women around to woo with his unhinged rizz, Dazai sought after a cheap comfort food he often turned to in his crippling depressive times. The freezer flings open with a creak to reveal the godly image of a box of hot pockets. As expected— nothing else resided in the freezer other than said hot pockets because Dazai was as broke as a medical college student in debt.

Dazai reaches a bandaged hand inside before grasping the box and pulling it close to his chest. He could already feel saliva pooling in his mouth as he re-lived his previous encounters and tastes of his hot pockets. But this one was different. This one was pepperoni. Normally, Dazai was a ham and cheese kind of guy, but they had been barren of any ham and cheese hot pockets. It made him sad to think about, but it also brought rejoice as he could finally try another flavor of hot pocket.

Dazai is quick to tear the box’s top off and reach a hand inside to grab the frozen snack pocket out. Even in a plastic wrapping, he could still smell the permeating waft of garlic and herbs. He fumbled around the kitchen as he ripped the plastic off and put the snack into the small cardboard pocket, basically throwing the hot pocket into the microwave like you would throw a small child into oncoming traffic.

Not really giving a fuck, Dazai punches the microwave which some how starts a two minute timer and the hot pocket starts spinning in small, grueling long circles. His eyes stare into the microwave’s glass window, taking in the way the hot pocket slowly warms up.

Deep down, Dazai wished to be a hot pocket. Because he, too, wished to be cooked in a microwave. What a way to go out.

It feels like eternity until the microwave beeps loudly to signify that the slutty— I mean tasty treat is done cooking. His eyes light up and Dazai takes the hot pocket out of the microwave. “It’s… It’s beautiful…” He whispers tearfully as the hot pocket steams from the packet. Realizing how hot it was the next few seconds after, he tosses it between his hands and onto the counter gently, “Ow— hot, hot— ahhhh.”

Staring at the hot pocket, Dazai begins to drool excessively— oh, and he was hard. Dude got a raging boner from looking at this hot pocket too long. Just like me fr.

“Aw man, now I’m super horny…” He whines as he looks down at his tightened slacks. He thinks for a moment before he looks back to the hot pocket and gets an idea.

The hot pocket steamed in need of his ACHING COCK (I can see you cringing behind that screen, Guac <3). Or at least that’s how Dazai took it because of how horny he was. “You want me, don’t you?” He grins at the hot pocket with desire— only getting a soft puff of steam in return and a whiff of garlic that made him twice as hard.

Eager to get off now, Dazai unzips his slacks and pushes them down enough to have access to the hot pocket. His accurate sized dick of three inches— I mean— his monster cock slapped against his stomach as he wasn’t wearing underwear because it’s canon that he goes commando. Dazai then took the hot pocket and brought it to his lips before taking a slow bite. And in typical Dazai fashion— he moaned loud enough for the entire apartment complex to hear and got several noise complaints which all went to Kunikida’s answering machine.

“My god, you’re such a slutty tease,” Dazai groans, swallowing the cold ass bite that’s always at the end of the hot pocket. Pushing at the sides with his fingers, the hot pocket opens to reveal its gooey melted cheese and sloppy pizza sauce insides with the occasional chunks of pepperoni. Dazai stroked his cock until he had spread enough precum along his length, though it’s questionable as to why he would as he’s fucking a hot pocket pussy and not actual pussy because he gets none.

Wasting no more time, Dazai slid his dick into the scalding hot pocket and screamed from the pain of literal lava burning the skin of his dick. But he kept trekking through the feeling, because he’ll be damned having his dick blistered by some hot pizza sauce and melting mozzarella chunks ruin him from being horny enough to fuck a microwaveable snack. “Yeah, you like that you dirty, saucy whore?” He grunted, uncaring of the melted cheese and pizza sauce sticking to his now blistering cock.

As this poor hot pocket was being violated like no one’s business, Kunikida was sobbing himself to sleep after getting multiple detailed complaints about how loud Dazai was being while he was aggressively fucking a hot pocket like I did to your mom last night.

“I’m gonna turn you into a toaster strudel, baby,” Dazai moaned loudly, thrusting harder into the hot pocket before filling it to the brim with his cum. “That’s it, take my seed you cheesy whore…” He panted, pulling his dick out of the cum stuffed hot pocket. It took a few moments until he realized the damage that the hot pocket had done to his dick as he looked down to see the various red burn spots and blistering skin covered in pizza sauce, cheese, and pepperoni. “Now I’m going to need bandages for my dick…” He sighed, tossing the hot pocket aside like they didn’t have a special bond. “Well, I’m not hungry anymore, my dick hurts… Time to stick it in some ice cream~” Dazai trailed off to get Kunikida’s credit card to go buy and defile yet another item of food.

As the hot pocket sat on the ground oozing with cum, a rat squeaked and scampered by before sniffing the hot pocket. Deemed worthy enough to take it back to its master, the rat dragged the hot pocket into a mouse hole and scrambled through the walls of the apartments until it made its way outside and into a manhole. Making its way through the sewers, the rat finally arrives at its master.

“What is this?” A Russian accent echoes through the sewers. Slender hands pick up the rat and the hot pocket, Fyodor looking at both with a questionable gaze. The rat squeaks to communicate with the Russian joker and squirms out of his grasp to scatter off to its family.

“A toaster strudel, you say? I’ve never seen such a thing, incredible…” Fyodor doesn’t even bother to take a good look at the hot pocket to see the fluids dripping out of it before he takes a large bite and chews. His face scrunches up— but he keeps eating because man is anemic and refuses to eat anymore of his belly button lint to survive.

“What a strange tasting toaster strudel…”

[dootznbootz]

Greetings, my dear Mads.

Would you be ever so generous and talk about your headcanons about Menelaus & Polites' relationship with Odysseus?

*cracks knuckles*

I think I should preface this and say that I'm ace/demisexual and that affects...everything. Both of these relationships are basically very deep connections/friendships that help keep them sane. Forehead kisses, snuggles, just affectionate. (which I have Odysseus VERY strange with. He's very hot and cold. He's extremely affectionate with his family but Menelaus and Polites' are basically the only two whom Odysseus will not glare at if they put their hand on Odysseus' shoulder)

I'll do Odysseus and Polites first as they're shorter.

Mostly takes place during the Odyssey. And these two are friends. During the year at Circe's...yeah, Odysseus cries on Polites' shoulder multiple times. I have a plan for Circe's thing but that's darker and... YEAH. 🥺 Someday I will write it but yeah. Odysseus is NOT well. Nightmares...other thingsksdljf ds

I have many thoughts on the relationship that Odysseus and Menelaus have. I really love having vulnerable human moments and seeing the potential of Odysseus and Menelaus? GOLD MINE!

I think it's because they're kind of opposites yet UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. Odysseus is a chatterbox and Menelaus is a man of few words. Menelaus is very honorable most of the time while Odysseus is...Odysseus. Odysseus tells stories while Menelaus gets straight to the point. They've been friends for a long time (They literally are each other's wingmen for my fics during the suitors of Helen. And Odysseus loves Menelaus' hugs.)

Odysseus is kind of a dick to EVERYONE during the Trojan war and that is a lot of the "I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!!! I WANT TO GO HOME!! I MISS MY WIFE AND SON!!!" so he's an ass.

But with Menelaus? He can't be mad. BECAUSE THEY BOTH GET IT. They miss their wives. They miss their kids. And Odysseus is just like, "I can't be mad at you...I know that if it had been Penelope kidnapped, I would have done the same...Wanna go cry together?🥺"

They oftentimes will just...visit each other for a good cry. Holding each other and letting the other ramble about whatever they need. Resting foreheads together. Doing each other's hair. Simply CHILLING! THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE OPPOSITES 😭

Also I have this stupid image in my head that's like a crackfic

Rando: "Hey, How come Odysseus has never stolen from you/stabbed you/insulted you/set your stuff on fire?" Menelaus: "Odysseus? Him?! No! He's a trickster, yes. But he's not a bad man! I'd trust him with my life!" Odysseus: "Yeah! I'm such a fucking sweetheart!" *Someone's tent bursts into flames behind him, from Olive Oil Odysseus purposely set up to light shit on fire*

Idk if I'll get the chance to write this fic idea but I want it to be after Odysseus steals the Palladium. He's alone with Menelaus and "Hey...I saw Helen...She still loves you and she misses you... She says she's sorry."

And Poor Menelaus just breaks. He wants to know everything that happened. And Odysseus answers. Odysseus just holds him while he cries. Probably starts tearing up himself. And just fall asleep together. This has happened multiple times. They can be VULNERABLE with each other!!! Menelaus is one of the few men Odysseus wouldn't steal from or kill in his sleep! Plus it's canon that Menelaus gives the best hugs (I asked Homer. He told me. shush!)

Just....??? AAAAAAAAAAAA

I LOVE THEM!!!! THey are so soft while still being warriors and kings because they're mortal MEN. Who have so many feelings inside them both (especially during Trojan war) I LOVE IT!!!1ksldjf

[onboardsorasora]

I've been writing this since I posted Part 10. @hitgirl0707 thanks for outlining this with me. It's almost 2k words, it's like I couldn't stop myself. *singing like Haley Williams* how did we get here?? Our liddol crackfic got a mind of its own guys!

Part 1 | Part 10

Part 11

To say Max didn’t sleep a wink was an understatement. He was worried. Those idiots better have taken care of Daniel. He was going to kill them maybe.

Finally, early in the morning he got a message to the groupchat from Lando that they were back at his place and Daniel was sleeping. Lando even sent a photo of Daniel curled up in his cat nest still in his party clothes sans shoes. Sassy was sniffing his hair and Jimmy was curled in his chest.

Max knew a drunken pass out when he saw one and just knew Daniel was going to have a killer hangover later. He was so annoyed, so mad. But he was relieved because Daniel was home at Max’s and he looked no worse for wear.

He was able to sleep a little and woke up early before his next meeting with Christian and Adrian. He spam texted Lando until he responded– the message was unintelligible, but all that mattered was that he answered.

He tried calling Daniel but it didn’t seem like he was going to answer. He was about to hang up when the facetime connected and he was greeted with Sassy’s face sniffing the screen. She chirped at him, a sound he was getting used to.

“Hey Sassy Girl, did you answer the call? Smart girl!” He praised, getting a mrow in return. Sassy eventually shifted from the phone and he saw Daniel was laying curled on his side with his arms over his eyes. Sassy sniffed and licked his forehead a little and he groaned pitifully in response.

“Daniel, how are you feeling?” Max asked softly but the worry was there. Daniel shifted his hand and Max could see a peak of nose and soft brown eyes.

“Maxy?” Daniel whined and Max’s heart clenched.

“Daniel, I’m here.”

“...hurts.” Daniel mumbled and tried to shuffle to get comfortable again but groaned instead. Jimmy bumped his head against Daniel’s arm.

“Daniel, you need to drink some water and some electrolyte juice, maybe. You’ll feel better, I think.”

“No…” Daniel murmured and sniffled and Max’s grip on his phone tightened. He was going to kill his friends.

“Daniel, it's the only way you’ll feel better. I promise.”

Max didn't have time to continue to beg Daniel to get up and ingest anything. He needed to head out if he didn't want to be late. He whispered apologies and told Sassy and Jimmy to continue to look after Daniel, he ended the call after hearing what sounded suspiciously like a whined ‘miss you Maxy’. He wasn’t allowing himself to acknowledge it, Daniel wasn’t coherent right now.

Max was clearly unsettled, Christian noticed and pulled him aside after the first meeting. He’d kept checking his phone, he received no messages from Daniel and the messages in the group chat weren't confidence inspiring.

"What's going on Max?" Christian was looking at him concerned. "Is everyone alright?"

"I need to leave." Max was blunt, Christian got more worried.

"Why what's wrong?"

With a sigh, Max explained everything. How Daniel was magical adept and was staying with him. And how he might be sick and no one was available to take care of him. 

"You can't just leave because your friend is hungover Max." Christian rolled his eyes. 

"Christian you don't understand. He couldn't even answer my calls. Sassy answered the phone. I know how it sounds but you have to believe me."

Christian didn't look moved at all and Max felt his heart sink into the pits of his stomach. His phone rang, Lando was calling him– finally.

"Lando! Please give me good news?"

"So like, Sassy keeps chirping. What does that mean?" Lando sounded pathetic on the other line. No doubt he wasn't going to drink again for another year.

"What do you mean? What else is she doing?" Max watched as Christian raised an eyebrow.

"Well she kinda led me to the cat nest. Daniel's still asleep I think. But Sassy keeps chirping at me and sniffing Daniel's hand."

"I dunno mate. Check his tattoos, maybe?"

Max watched as Lando's head moved off camera, he could hear Sassy's chirps; they didn't sound promising. Max tried to hold onto his fear, especially which Christian watching his every response.

"Uhm." Lando's voice squeaked with panic. "The rose looks pretty pale. Is that supposed to happen? It's pretty droopy too."

Lando's panicked eyes engulfed the screen.

"Show me!" Max demanded and bit his lip when the camera flipped again and Lando wrenched back Daniel's sleeve to show his tattoo that was indeed pale and sick looking. Christian looked over his shoulder and together they watched as the rose lost a petal.

"Max what do I do???"

"Well I'll be damned." Christian murmured in shock.

"Christian, I need to go." Max tried again, hoping some form of proof of urgency would help.

Christian sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Fix this then come back." 

Turns out, travelling is still a nightmare even if you have your own plane. Things like clearance and pulling staff from days off became a hindrance. But what was the point of being rich if you couldn’t throw money at your problems? And that’s how Max was on his way home. 

Max was livid, and he let his ire be known in the group chat. Lando was groveling with memes, Charles said sorry (it was more like ‘sprrh’ but the spirit was there). And Alex was trying to recreate a timeline of events. 

None of that, however, made his dread any less when he received a text message from Michelle. It was just a link and ‘???????’. Which could never be good.

And it wasn’t. Because on his screen was a video of Daniel’s rose blooming and glowing with strobe lights and EDM blaring in the background. The caption was pretty simple, expressing shock at the moving tattoos and you could hear Daniel giggling in the background. They didn’t show his face thankfully.

Max groaned, because fuck. 

He didn’t need to look at the views or likes to know that this video had gone viral; how else would Michelle have seen it on the other side of the world? The phone rang in his hand and he answered it while dragging his other hand down his face.

“Max, what the fuck?!” Michelle was, reasonably, upset. It was painful to explain that he hadn’t been there and that Daniel was suffering. He could see the distress and distrust churning in her eyes. Eventually she let him go after he promised updates, it took nothing less than actual vows for her to believe him.

When he finally made it home, he truly didn’t know what to expect. The cats welcoming him back with loud meows and chirps were not it. He followed them to the cat nest where Daniel still layed, there was a bottle of water and gatorade sweating beside him but both were unopened. 

“Oh Daniel.” Max cooed, kneeling on the outside of the blankets and pillows. Daniel still hid his face from presumably the brightness of the living room. Max looked around, unable to locate Lando, which was probably for the best right now.

“Maxy…?” Daniel murmured, pained and unsure.

“I’m here. Can you drink some water for me?”

“Maxy, hurts so bad.” Daniel’s voice wobbled. Max’s heart clenched.

“I know Daniel, but you need to drink. You’ll feel better.” Daniel groaned pitfully and Max sighed. He crawled into the cat nest and gently maneuvered Daniel to rest against him. Daniel buried his face into Max’s chest, nuzzling his sternum. “If you drink some for me, you can go back to sleep and I’ll order pizza. Does that sound good?”

Daniel hummed and Max proceeded to help him drink half the bottle of water and half the gatorade. 

“What about your work?” Daniel rasped and Max waved him off, they didn’t need to talk about that. Lando came out of the powder room then, looking like death warmed over. No doubt he had been praying to the porcelain gods.

“Max, you’re here! Thank god!” Lando sagged with relief and threw himself onto the couch. “Wait, how are you here?”

“Doesn’t matter–” Max cut himself off from saying that they had a problem. Even though they did. He shook his head and focused on the task at hand, which was taking Daniel to his bed in the guest room. They didn’t quite make it and hand to beeline for the toilet where Daniel pitifully released what remained churning in his stomach. It wasn’t a lot but his body didn’t know that apparently. Max petted his hair while he dryheaved and then helped him into the soft sheets after. The cats padded and curled around him worriedly, and Max took that as an ok to leave the room to talk to Lando, Sassy would get him if anything.

“Mate what the fuck?” Max hissed at Lando, who shrunk back into the couch to hide. 

“Mate, I dunno. I’m sorry. We didn’t even leave him for too long.”

“Long enough!” Max pulled up the video and shoved it into Lando’s face. Lando paled further and looked like he was about to be sick again.

“Well, fuck.”

“All you had to do was keep him company, Mate. That isn’t so fucking hard. For fuck’s sake man!” Max ranted, dragging his hand through his hair in agitation. 

“He thought you were like his ex! Who was super controlling and wouldn’t let him go anywhere without him!” Lando cut in, Max froze.

“What?”

“Yeah, when I told him we weren’t going he got all sad and stuff, Mate. You can ask Alex and Lily, started talking about how he thought you were good. I defended your honour by the way! Thankyouverymuch-ow” Lando cradled his head in his hand.

“His ex was controlling?” Max whispered, the clench in his chest was back.

“Yeah, apparently he didn’t want Daniel singing. And Daniel had to stay home when he was gone. Couldn’t go anywhere. He was so upset Max, we couldn’t not go.”

“I’m not mad you went out, I don’t care about that. I’m mad he was left alone and got drunk. Who knows what else could have happened. What if someone slipped him something? What if more than this video is on the internet?!” Max was pissed, he wanted to teleport to Perth and meet this ex, he just only wanted to talk. Truly.

But he couldn’t do that so he had to settle for yelling at Lando.

“I’m sorry…” it was faint and both men turned around to see Daniel leaning against the wall in the hallway. He looked pitiful and sad, maybe a bit withdrawn. 

“Daniel– you should–” 

“I’m sorry– I should have known better. I shouldn’t have– Sassy says you don’t normally come back so quickly. I messed up your plans again didn’t I?” Daniel sagged against the wall. Max rushed over to help him with wide eyes. Lando stayed on the couch– once again out of his depth.

“Daniel–”

“I’m so sorry Max! I didn’t mean to, I promise! Please don’t be mad.”

Max grabbed Daniel’s shoulders, dipping his head to look into Daniel’s sad downturned eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I came back because I wanted to take care of you. I’m not mad at you, I promise.” Max held his pinky between them. 

Daniel searched his eyes for a moment, staring deep into Max’s soul with his haunted brown cow eyes. Before he hesitantly raised his own pinky and hooked them together.

Part 12

[navigatorsghost]

Frooooots, froooooots, get yer froooots here! :D 🍉🥭🍈

Thank you! I'm sorry it took me a bit to answer this, I got brainjammed on the final question trying to decide what to ramble about. >_>

🍉 Do you prefer to write short fics or long fics? Multichaptered works or single ones? Why?

Uh, this is a bit of a trick question, because honestly, what I have is a lot of ideas for longfics but all I ever manage to get finished are the short ones. XDDD I would prefer, strictly speaking, to be able to write long/multichapter fics because I always have so many ideas and so much worldbuilding I want to do, but sadly my brains just won't buckle down so I have to settle for the mostly short fics they give me...

🥭 Rank from most enjoyable/fun to write to least: Fluff, Smut, Angst, Crack.

I actually have written and enjoyed writing all of these so this is really difficult to answer! All of them are my favourite in different moods. I write fluff when I'm feeling emotionally battered and want comfort, I write smut mostly when I want to pamper my muses, angst just happens when someone in headspace drops random tragic backstory on me, and usually I do crackfic when someone says something silly in Discord and then a whole plot falls out. XD So I really can't rank in order, I love them all!

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

I have an ever expanding lifetime list of blorbos so here's a couple of my current active ones from Naruto:

- Sasori is autistic as. fuck. Uncomfortable inhabiting a living organic body to the point where he turned himself into an imperishable corpse puppet, detests and fears change, gets anxiety when he thinks things aren't being planned thoroughly enough, hates scheduling disruptions and/or having to wait, cares intensely about inanimate objects but struggles to relate to living people, likes to hide in very small enclosed spaces, noticeably flattened affect despite clearly having actual emotions underneath, cannot contain the need to infodump about his special interest even in a literal life-or-death battle... one of us, and I love him for it. I feel sure he would've been so very much more Okay if someone had been willing to keep him safe in a nice quiet predictable place and give him lots of supportive attention on a consistent schedule.

- Hidan, slaughter-happy devotee of a dark god of suffering, secretly has a villain origin story that's basically "was born and raised in customer service". In a world where ninja are generally hardbitten career soldiers, he grew up in the one village that's renounced war in favour of catering to tourists. Consequently he has witnessed and endured horrors of a kind most ninja couldn't even imagine (can you imagine dealing with a stereotype Karen who's also heavily armed and can throw magic at you?) which finally drove him to go on a chaotic killing spree just to get out of there. He's secretly an expert in a dozen different embarrassing "soft" skills - he can write haiku, play the shamisen, run a traditional Japanese tea ceremony, and more - but had to teach himself how to, like, throw a kunai. (And he can't even talk to anyone about his trauma because they'll just think it's funny.)

Thank you for asking! ❤️

[lindirs-gaze]

20 questions for fic writers

@thatbluelight thank you for tagging me!! here's to another year of writing and girlbossing etc

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

19. but 26 on ffnet :|

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

496,029

3. what fandoms do you write for?

so right now it's danganronpa (i KNOW and i DON'T wanna hear it) but the majority of my works are for the hobbit and lotr

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The New World, Taking Back Time, Archery Lessons, The Fallen Oak, A Distraction. kind of surprising to find oneshots in there but ig it's what people like

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

only if i have something to say, i don't really like replying just to say thank you. idk it feels like i'm trying to boost my comment count :| not that i judge people who do do that i just don't

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably The Fallen Oak? the ending is supposed to be somewhat optimistic but it is about grief and letting go so...yeah

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

maybe Home and Heart? that was just a two-shot but the whole thing was basically straight fluff so the ending was very happy. how the hell would you write boffins angst anyways. don't answer that

8. do you get hate on any fics?

christ i've gotten way too many transphobic comments on Playing the Hero. i got this one really spiteful comment and peeked at their profile and it was someone who had written a ton of fics themselves. like if you're a loser with an empty profile and you leave hateful comments i kind of get it but if you're also a writer like...why would you do that...

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes. vanilla. next question

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i write a lot of fusion fics but i guess the closest thing i've gotten to a crossover was Embers. Thorin enters the world of The Witcher to train for fighting dragons, etc etc. very self indulgent, boy playing with action figures premise but people seemed to enjoy it

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i actually still have the screenshots, i stumbled across this one hobbit fic way back when that was this weird frankenstein piece of cobbled together bits stolen from a bunch of different authors. i was just casually reading it and then i was like "what the fuck this is so similar to the first chapter of Feangren..." anyway the author got a lot of hate and deleted the story

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

naur

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

naur

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

ugh i mean i don't think anything will ever hit like bagginshield. i know i don't write for it anymore but it still feels like home a little

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

stop there are so many and i'm so embarrassed. if i had the motivation i would rework the plot for Children of the Apocalypse and try to finish it. i feel bad because it is a sequel and at one point i was really pumped to write it but just. the moment has passed

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i do pretty well with like a sprinkling of humor. i can't do straight up crackfics anymore. maybe plot too?

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

probably finishing fics i've been getting better but sometimes i struggle to write long chapters. like i have to stretch to hit 3k.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i feel like it only works if you know the language or if you just use short phrases

19. first fandom you wrote for?

legend of zelda. in my composition notebook in third grade lmao

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

it's hard to choose but i have a soft spot for Where Heroes Lie. very self indulgent but it has such a fun mix of action, humor, angst, shlock. feat. my only OC that has healthy parental relationships.

this was actually so fun omg. tagging @nejires-hado @chrononautintraining and i'm definitely forgetting people but if you want to do this just say i tagged you

[stinastar]

20 questions for fic writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 101! Wow! Keep in mind many are short, and one is an even shorter poem about eggs 🥚

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 188,209

3. What fandoms do you write for? I honestly don't know how to answer this properly haha. I still have drafts or thoughts for fics for Good Omens, The Witcher, James Bond, and Our Flag Means Death. I'm currently mainly into writing Jason Todd (Red Hood / Batman).

I just looked in my folder and I also have notes for a piece each for Lord of the Rings and Shadow and Bone, but it's unlikely those will ever be finished and posted lol.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Of Dragons and Heartbreak, we’ll rip up the map by the seams, Which Half?, Sweet Truth, The Dumb Brute and the Bardling. So all for The Witcher, unsurprisingly. I don't think this kind of metric means much, honestly. It just means it was a big popular fandom at the time, I was writing the most popular ship, and these had tropes people were after. I think, at least. I by no means think those are my best works, is all I'm saying.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Of course! I love love love getting comments and so make an effort to always reply to them. If I missed one I promise it was by accident!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I think that has to be you’ve got a second chance, you could go home. I'm still quite pleased with it. But people really wanted it fixed, so I did write a follow up :)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I honestly don't know how to quantify that 😅 Maybe Fire Me Up? The fic as a whole is very soft and sappy.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, not really. I had one nasty comment a few years back from a fan that clearly hated a character and wanted to make that my (and others') problem, lol, and have had a few iffy comments here and there, but.

9. Do you write smut? Not reallllly. But I used to only fade to black, and have started dabbling in writing sex scenes a bit, so we may get there. We'll see. I didn't think I would, lol.

10. Do you write crossovers? No (that one crackfic notwithstanding, lol), they don't really interest me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of 🤞🏻

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I know of, but what an honour!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I don't think so, yet? I wrote a fic that went along with others, once, and I have a very neglected draft that I was working on with @ahh-fxck (sorry friend!), but I don't think I have a fic posted that I wrote with someone else...?

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? You want me to pick between my precious babies?? lol. I honestly really don't know that I have one.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Pffft, sadly and honestly, so many.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue comes quite easily for me, and I think I tend to do it well. The rest has been a WIP lol, but I think I've been improving!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Everything else. Ha!! For real though. All the stuff in between dialogue lol. Longer stories. Patience (lack thereof). I'm getting tired because kiddo would not GTFTS, so apologies if I'm becoming less coherent...

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Thoughts? I mean, I've done it, a tiny bit. I did a bit of researching as well as using online dictionaries etc, and I was lucky to find a native speaker to read things over and give their input before posting.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Good Omens. It honestly happened by accident.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Oooooh. Possibly Wintersong? I'm quite happy with it. What can I say, I love angst. That one isn't my most favourite kind, but I'm proud of it and love it.

Thank you for the tag @aniron48 💗 Tagging @major-trouble @cicerfics @brothebro @girls-and-honey @holycatsandrabbits and anyone who sees this and wants to tag on 😘

[beautifulduckweed]

Dear Yuletide Author 2023

Shh! Listen—can you hear it? That weird humming sound? That's me, vibrating with joy and anticipation for everything that Yuletide brings, especially what you, dear Yuletide author, have in store for me.

I’m beautifulduckweed on AO3. Below is a list of likes, a short list of DNWs, as well as my requests for Yuletide. I've included prompts, but please know that they are ABSOLUTELY just suggestions and points of inspiration; feel free to deviate from them, or ditch them entirely and write me something else. God knows I can’t write my own dang stories without taking several wild left turns along the way.

Thanks so much for my gift, and I hope you have a blast writing.

💖🥰 Some things I like 🥰💖

Crackfic and mashups. No premise to stupid, no crossover too incongruous. Listen, recently someone in another exchange requested John Wick x Marie Kondo and I have legit lost sleep thinking about that.

Sexytimes. Please note that I absolutely do not require sex! Some of my favorite exchange gifts have featured absolutely zero sex on page. But if the smutty muse strikes—well, far be it for me to stop you. My tolerance is…high. No, higher. No, no, higher than that. Look, I’ve been a denizen of the Internet long enough that I subscribed to porn newsgroups, OK? My constitution is CAST IRON. I especially enjoy service topping, orgasm control (delayed? denied? forced? ruined? YES), femdoms, people coming untouched, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, improbable feats of horny stamina, people losing control while fucking, gangbangs, and threesomes/moresomes/orgies. I also really love first times, and people finally dropping their defenses and allowing themselves to be vulnerable during sex, and the STOP MAKING LOVE TO ME WHEN WE'RE FUCKING trope. I do have a small list of smut no’s in the Do Not Wants section.

Tropes. Some of my fave tropes are idiots to lovers (idiot4idiot4eva), friends to lovers, forced proximity, cramming attractive people into corsets, drag queen AUs, SFF AUs of every stripe (daemon? Pacific Rim? Superhero/supervillain? Vampires? Inception? Yes yes yessss). I absolutely adore the golden retriever/hissy feral cat dynamic. I also like two soft-hearted dinguses doing their best and trying to treat each other right. And ain't nothin' wrong with enemies who are obsessed with each other who OOPS realize their preoccupation may be more than mere antipathy.

I’d also like to note that much as I love a fic that’s like, a trope confetti cannon, I also really love having tropes (and expectations) subverted. Like, take your standard daemon AU. What would happen if the main character and their daemon…didn’t like each other? What if they were, in fact, mortal enemies? It would be so fucked! I would love to read about it!!!

Horror and gore. I love scary stories and horror; I have a really high tolerance for gore. If you want to lean into action sequences, gore, and body horror, I am (with a few exceptions, which I’m gonna list in the DNWs) gonna be totally cool with it. I basically jumped straight from Enid Blyton to Stephen King. My childhood media consumption was very normal why do you ask 😊

And other stuff. If you want to fuck around with the format of the fic, play around with structure, format, voice, POV, all of it, please do. Here for any weird shit you care to toss my way.

I also really love having my sense of what’s real and what’s not messed with. Like, is it ever possible to have a fully reliable narrator? What is the nature of truth and reality anyway? What role does the overall narratorial voice or framing device of the story play in our perception of the story? I regret to inform you that I'm writing this 100% sober; this is just how my brain is all the time.

😭🚫Do Not Wants 🚫😭

Pet death. I am totally fine with, like, random rabbit needs to be killed for dinner while out in the woods, or oh no, we have to defend ourselves from a charging hippo or hostile lizard from outer space.

Animal cruelty. Brief mentions of stuff happening in the past or whatever are fine; seeing an animal tortured on-page is a big no.

Major character death. Random minions, as always, can be sacrificed to the storytelling gods. NOTE: Major character undeath fine.

Kink and smut no’s: I’m not into blood, scat, vomit or piss. Please no noncon/dubcon where a woman is the victim. NOTE: sex pollen scenarios whereby everybody loses their mind simultaneously is totally fine, as is Fuck or Die.

Unhappy/hopeless endings. Bittersweet is fine; endings where it’s clear a cost has been paid and everybody’s changed etc. etc. also fine, but like, please don’t leave the characters absolutely miserable or unrelentingly tormented by their demons (unless the demons are sexy and the torment is also sexy).

Breakups without makeups: If I requested a canon pairing, or if you decide to write a shippy pairing, please leave their relationship intact at the end of the story. It can take a battering! Just don't break them—or my poor little heart—apart. NOTE: If you're writing a missing scene that takes place while or leads up to a period when the characters are canonically on a break, leaving them broken up or the fight unresolved is fine, because I know canon takes care of things.

🍪🧁Treats 🧁🍪

Are very yes. Love me some treats!!!

📝🎅The Requests 🎅📝

Fandom: The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting - K.J. Charles

Characters: Alice Fenwick, Marianne Loxleigh

Thoughts/Prompts: I am a simple bean, and all I want is Alice and Marianne having adventures. Maybe some lesbian porn. Or platonic lesbian BFF vibes. You can have 'em fall in love, or become platonic life partners, or fuck a lot and never fall in love, or start an elaborate grift or heist together. Like, wouldn’t it be hot if Marnie decided Alice needed some tutoring in the ways of fuckboys, lured one in, and used him to tutor Alice in the ways of satisfying herself while not getting pregnant? I’m seriously down for whatever.

Also, as with all of my fandom requests, please feel free to drag in as many other characters in as necessary. The more, the merrier; I just want Alice and Marnie’s relationship front and center.

Crack Prompts: Hey what about a vampire AU? Marnie as a vampire would be hot—hundreds of years of grifting, and GOD what the hell is up with this entirely-too-nice nerd oh WHOOPS turns out she’s her generation’s foremost vampire hunter. Alice as the vampire would also be amazing—Marnie tries to con Alice and discovers she’s bitten off more than she can chew (ba-dum-tish).

Vampire AU not your cuppa? How about crossovers with literally any other KJC universe? Stick ‘em in Magpies, or have them tangle with the Lilywhite Boys, solve a murder mystery with Pat and Fen, cosh some villains on the head with the Will Darling crew, accidentally fall into an orgy with the Murder, be pulled through time by one of the Green Men. I have read all the KJC books and extras. Go nuts.

Fandom: England Series - K.J. Charles

Characters: Bill Merton, Jimmy Yoxall

Thoughts/Prompts: Look, I love idiots, and these two are SUCH MAGNIFICENT IDIOTS. Jimmy is a giant doofus, and Bill thinks he's smarter, but all evidence points to him being at least as big an idiot when it comes to matters of the heart. I get all feral and heart-eyes over these two nincompoops. I will accept any and everything for these two: fics of the two of them getting to know each other during their university days, falling in love in London, THAT HORRIBLE FIGHT AFTER BEN HUR. Whatever. I ain't picky. I also said one time that they'd be great in Lower Decks and ever since then I may have brainwormed myself a little. They'd be so good in the USS Cerritos! Also down 2 clown with like, incongruous mashups---like John Wick? God, what if Jimmy Yoxall was just really weirdly good at murder, and Bill has to keep his stupid ass alive?

Opt-in for this specific fandom: waiving the breakup without makeup DNW for anything that takes place pre-Proper English events.

Fandom: Fire Island (Movie 2022)

Characters: Noah, Will

Thoughts/Prompts: Goddd, over a year later and it's still my favorite Pride and Prejudice adaptation to date. The found family vibes! Noah explicitly being non-monogamous! The dynamics between ALL the characters, but especially Noah and Howie!!! I am down for whatever for this fandom. Wanna write a big ole sweaty orgy? Have the entire crew go on a giant chaotic family vacation together? (Maybe even…the following year’s trip to Fire Island???). Somebody somehow manages to dare Will into entering a drag contest, and it’s gonna take everyone’s help to make this happen. Noah suddenly finds himself a TikTok sensation and gets into a weird Twitter beef with Taylor Swift.

Crack Prompts: These fools would be incredible in What We Do in the Shadows and Our Flag Means Death.

ALSO, oh my god: since this is a Pride and Prejudice retelling, how about sticking ‘em in a Regency romance novel? I’m inordinately fond of Loretta Chase, and the thought of these four idiots running amuck in the ton is giving me so much glee. Like, think of the Lord of Scoundrels retelling: Will is determined to rescue his idiot friend Charlie from the toils of Noah, a notorious rake, only to find himself reluctantly falling for Noah’s charms. And in the meanwhile, Charlie is falling in love with Howie….

[vostok3-ka]

Hello helloo! Hope you’re having a good one :) Just dropping by with some lil guys for the ask game: 🥺✅🤡🎶🤲 (any you may want, obv no pressure)

Hiiii Max <3333 oooo thank you so much for all these questions, I'm excited to answer them! I AM having a good one because today is my archery tournament and I'm excited! Hope YOU are well!

🥺 - OOOH. This one is so easy to answer. When Bucky and Steve are physically affectionate with each other. I've never seen them as a couple, not really, and I love them when they're platonic and yet still very physical with each other. It just melts my heart every time they wrap each other up in their arms, or press hands on the other's shoulder, or anything physical really. It's so soft, and gentle from men who are very masculine and soldier-like, and ugh, it just turns me to a puddle of pure soup. I can't deal.

✅ - Drugs 😭. I never do mean to include mentions of drugs in my stories, but I somehow always do! I just see it as such a realistic and very likely think for Bucky to engage in, and it just fascinates me as a writer when I write drugs, because I adore it when characters have a twisted view of reality, when they are unreliable narrators. It just hits the spot for me, and I absolutely love it. Another thing that tends to find itself in my works, although somewhat subtly, is a very blasé attitude towards mental illness. I like that, I like characters who don't let their mental health take over their lives, I like it when they live on despite of it and don't make it a big deal, instead acknowledging it is there and then going on with their lives in a way, you know? I don't know, I've been told it's a somewhat eastern way of looking at it, and I suppose, seeing I mostly write eastern characters, or Bucky who might as well be Russian at this point, that it's a good characterization thing? I don't know really. But it's been pointed out and I thought it was interesting!

🤡 - I don't actually think I write very funny a lot of the time, but sometimes I will write something more humorous, and this is one of those times. This snippet is from a completely forgotten about WIP called Kukushka, and it is about a period of time during the late 80s where Department X were trying to sort out Bucky's transfer to Hydra, and his little popsicle freezer was broken so they needed him stored away, and doing so they tossed him to a little run down village and were like here you go, manage yourself. It's a bit of a crackfic, which is why I named one character Gagarin and the other Karpov, despite him not being Bucky's handler. And Bucky is Morozov. Like he always is in my stories 😭. Here's a little snippet:

----------

Morozov came to slowly, not like they did in the movies with a gasp and all in a fuss. Gagarin hovered over Stepanov's shoulder, watching the soldier stare at the ceiling, eyes cloudy with confusion.

"There he is," the young doctor said triumphantly, and glanced back at Gagarin. "I told you he'd be alright."

Gagarin frowned. "He isn't saying anything."

Stepanov turned his gaze back to Morozov, and frowned. "He isn't." Leaning over he pulled out the penlight again, flashing it over the stormy greys. The pupils contracted dutifully, and he turned the light off, laying a hand on the soldier's cheek and patting it gently. "Come on Morozov. It's us!"

"I broke him," Karpov whispered morosely, his head still in his arms on the round table.

"Nonesense," Stepanov declared with the full authority of a man confident in his knowledge. "You cannot break a man by merely stating a name."

"I broke him," the poet repeated, and this time both Gagarin and Stepanov turned to look at him.

"Stop being so dramatic, Sasha," Gagarin told him. "Do you need Stepanov to give you an injection as well?"

That got a reaction out of Karpov, and he raised his head from where it was buried in alarm.

"Stop it, Gagarin. I'm not giving anybody else any injections," Stepanov admonished, before directing his attention towards the miserable poet. "You did not break him. Who's the doctor here?"

"Barely a doctor," Karpov muttered, marginally more wary of the large black bag that Stepanov had stashed by his side. "You just graduated."

Gagarin sighed. "Just fix him, please," he said, and the young doctor turned back to his patient.

"He should be well. Responsive- physically," he said, voice taking on a considerably more serious tone that it had merely a few seconds ago, and he stood up, moving over sideways so he was closer to Morozov's head. Leaning over, he let a hand rest on the soldier's forehead. "Morozov, it's me, come on."

"Physically?"

"His eyes-" and Stepanov furled a hand into a near fist without looking up, demonstrating for his audience. "-they contract normally."

"Does that mean anything?"

----------

🎶 - Oh boy do I haha! I can barely focus on writing without music sometimes, my mind gets too distracted with other things, and I like writing to the vibes of songs. A lot of my fics I wrote to a particular song, like with Яблонный сад by Shortparis, I wrote that fic listening to literally only these two songs:

While with, for example, Noch' Ulitsa Fonar' Apteka, I was listening to this song on repeat:

As for which songs I've had on repeat recently, it's this one that I've had on repeat while working on plotting a Bucky fic that takes place before and during the war!

🤲 - Okie so, this is from the fic I mentioned above where it takes place before and during the war. I'm so fascinated by old mental hospitals before and during the war, and I thought it would be a really interesting story to write where Bucky admits himself to one when he is nineteen because he gets really ill, and it is there that Hydra first sets eyes on him, and the plot spans all the way to Europe, and his capture at Azzano, where Hydra knew that he was going to be there, and they wanted to take him to Doctor Zola. I thought it would be an interesting blend of a gritty thriller, and an opportunity for me to research and explore historical psychiatric hospitals and treatments and make it all as accurate as possible! Here's a snippet ;) :

----------

If anything, Steve took the news much better than Bucky had. Bucky's knuckles hadn't yet started to fade back to their usual light pink after he'd smashed his hand into his bedroom wall in a fit of frustrated fear when he hadn't been able to fall asleep the night before. They shone a gentle red. Steve took Bucky's hand in his when the latter had shown up at his door, early, before Steve's work met up.

"What happened?"

"I punched the wall," Bucky shrugged, not quite meeting Steve's gaze, before moving past him and into the Rogers' apartment.

"Oh, Buck."

"I know."

They stood like that for a second or two, Steve by the open door, and Bucky fidgeting with the letter in his pocket with his uninjured hand.

"Well," Steve said finally, breaking the silence and clicking the door shut. "Did it help?" he asked, gesturing at Bucky's knuckles. 

Bucky glanced down and raised his hand so that he could look at it. "Not really. I, uh," Bucky started and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Best to get it over with, he thought. Rip the band-aid off the wound and let it bleed freely, let it drown them all beneath a burning red, choke them on sheer smothering terror. He took the envelope out of his pocket and held it out to Steve. "I haven't opened it yet."

The range of emotions that flashed across Steve's face would have been amusing if this were any other time, if Bucky wasn't gagging on the uncertainty of what lay ahead. 

"They can't," Steve hissed, his face settling on unbridled rage. "They can't. I'll go talk to them, I'll talk to them all," he declared, scrambling to get his coat off the hook by the door. 

"Steve- no, Steve," Bucky said, leaping forward and gripping a bony shoulder. "They'll just think I'm dodging."

"Like hell they will."

"Or-" Bucky works his lips between his teeth, his chest tightening slightly. His fingers twitch a few times and Steve's eyes flick towards them. Bucky stuffs his hand in his pocket. "-they'll send me back."

"To the hospital?" Steve asks, frowning. "But you're better now."

Bucky threw his hands in the air. "They don't know that. You go out there yelling about schizophrenia and God knows what, and they'll call Dr. Roberts again, and- again and- I-" He whined lowly in his throat before taking a deep breath. "Look, Stevie. I'd rather die."

At this, Steve looked suitably alarmed, and Bucky assured him hastily. "I ain't gonna do anything stupid, I'm not. But I am not going back to the hospital. Even if it means-" he jerks his head in the general direction of the envelope that Steve's still clutching in his hands. "-going to war." The last words were nearly choked out.

"And what if you lose it over there?" Steve points out, not unkindly, and he has taken his coat off again, slinging it over an arm. "What happens then?"

"I haven't lost it in a long time, Steve. That was one time. I was sick, and I got better," Bucky said. Then as an afterthought, "I'll probably be fine." And God, if that wasn't a lie.

Steve studied him with shrewd eyes, yet said nothing. Sighing, he hung his coat back up, and gestured at the little kitchen table. "Sit."

Bucky dragged a chair out and sat. Steve crouched in front of him, hands gentle as he rolled up Bucky's pant legs. Purpling bruises paints his calves a startling sight, and Bucky rubbed a hand over his face, feeling much older than twenty-two. "I didn't mean to," he mumbled at Steve's accusing look.

"You never mean to, Buck," Steve said, somewhat testily, and stood up. His eyes are full of indescribable emotion and Bucky has to blink away sudden tears.

"Why?" he whispered. "What happened to my records?"

"I don't know. They should have you down as 4F. I don't know." 

"This isn't an accident. A beaucratical mess-up."

"What?" Steve blinked up at Bucky. The latter's eyes had gone clear and hard, jaw set. The sudden change of demeanor threw Steve off balance for a moment.

"It isn't an accident. Somebody destroyed my records," Bucky seethed, practically vibrating right out of his seat in the rush of anger that had sunk claws into his flesh. "Alright then," and he met Steve's eyes head on. "I'll show them. They want a soldier? I'll be the best damn soldier they've ever seen," he grit out, leaning over to roll his pants back down. He stood up, and Steve stood back up with him. "I'll show them."

He stalked over to the door, and Steve skidded forward, so that he stood between his friend and the door. "Where are you going?"

"Right down to report for duty."

"In your state?"

Bucky's right hand twitched again, and he glared at Steve. "What do you mean?"

"I'm coming with you."

"What?" 

"I was going to go anyway, now's as good a time as any."

"What, no!" Bucky started. Steve stared at him, chin jutting out in that stubborn way of his. "You can't go to war, Steve."

"And you can?"

"I'm not- it's not the same."

"Sure seems to me that it is."

---------

Again, thank you so so much for all the questions! This was so much fun to answer I love these games! Hope you are well <3

[thebigqueer]

omg new year new fun tag game. ty for the tag!! this looks fun

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

49 currently but i have deleted or orphaned some so it could be more than that

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

187454

3. what fandoms do you write for?

only riordanverse. i’ve considered writing for adventure time but i just don’t have enough passion for it

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Soft Touches in the Darkness (valgrace one shot)

moonlight (valgrace one shot)

Promise? (solangelo one shot)

Lost Voices (solangelo tartarus fic)

Secrets Uncovered in the Firelight (solangelo one shot)

5. do you respond to comments?

no cuz i’m shy 😭 but i do sometimes if someone’s comment is particularly exciting or i like a take. i do always always appreciate the comments though they make me happy <333

6. fic with angstiest ending?

hmm… i would say Bottle the World (arcane au valgrace snippet) or Flaming Eyes (leo & jason)

7. fic with happiest ending?

probably New Year, Old Beginnings (valgrace secret santa au).

8. do you get hate on fics?

no not really. & i’m thankful for that!!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

not publicly i don’t 🤭 but if you were to look through my docs there’s probably like one sexy piece with my ocs. idk if it counts as smut cuz they don’t actually do anything... it’s just toxic lesbian horny rage nothing really happens lol

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

i don’t really but i do have an arcane au. it’s not really a crossover i just kind of made up a plot for pjo characters based on the end of arcane lol. (arcane au snippets) WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED someone once asked me to do a (crackfic) she-ra & pjo crossover but i can't find the link unfortunately...

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

nah

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes but weve only posted 2 before. all the other co-written fics never got finished unfortunately

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

honestly i don't have one i think it really depends on my mood and what im reading at the moment.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ARCANE AU 😭 MY POOR ARCANE AU IM SORRY 😭 it's not that i wont write it its just that its never going to be coming out in full its all gonna be in one shots because i have 0 energy. also i had this one "immortal" au i tried writing a while ago and i still like the concept just not the characters i used at the time but i dont think ill write it again

16. what are your writing strengths?

i write a lot (as in my word counts are high per fic) but i dont really consider it a strength because i don't think length equates to the quality of a fic. a fic is good even if its short or long, and i like short fics more beacuse i feel like im feeling just as much in a shorter amount of time but other people might prefer long fics. its about what you write about and how you do it, not about length. ive also been told im pretty good at integrating introspection with dialogue but idk.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

also plot. it's like the fics that have a really dense and thought-out plot are the ones i never get to finish cuz i get too intimmidated after i finish planning them. i'll always plan them out in bullet points and then even when im almost done planning them out i just give up at the last minute and then never get them done lol. maybe one day i'll finally write something. i think if the plot isn't too dense then it's better off

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i think it's cool. i don't think i've done it yet but maybe i will one day.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

percy jackson. it was a solangelo fic in first person on wattpad 💀 WAITT SCRATCH THAT. when i was in 2nd grade me & bff at the time LOVED the rainbow magic books so i think we wrote something that was similar in plot to that. that was a banger series

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

i really liked "Stay. For Once." (lost trio fic) because it was my first time writing something for the lost trio and even though looking back i might change some things i think i really loved writing about them & thinking about their dynamic. i also really liked "Stars Bursting Across His Lips" (valgrace one-shot) not because i actually like the fic itself that much but it was really fun to write cuz i think driving on a highway at night is the sexiest most erotic most romantic thing anyone can do. i dont think i have a true favorite though.

tagging: @crushing-on-nico-di-angelo @perachel-heretic and anyone else who wants to do it. no pressure though

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @mrv3000

1. how many works do you have on Ao3? 195

2. what's your total Ao3 word count? 403 068

3. what fandoms do you write for? percy jackson and the olympians, heroes of olympus, trials of apollo, kane chronicles, magnus chase and the gods of asgard, nevermoor, her royal highness, roots of chaos, x-men (films mostly but some comic bleedover), avatar the last airbender, the legend of korra, the kyoshi novels, marvel cinematic universe, bbc ghosts, a song of ice and fire, doctor who, the locked tomb, star wars (prequels mostly), spiderman comics, rosewood chronicles, derry girls, dc (vaguely, comics)

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

rot with all the burnouts in the cell (dc marvel crossover)

oh my brother, my brother, my brother (who have you become in the wake of all that's happened?) (star wars timetravel)

breezeblocks bricking up my heart (my take on a dadneto reveal)

water into wine (five times percy was the son of dionysus and one time he was the son of poseidon)

5. do you respond to comments? i do my best

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

that's relative and i have so many fics that this probably isn't accurate but by my own measure it's probably don't want to fight the tide (nevermoor fic, being immortal sucks)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again that's relative but i'd say there's a million roads to rediscover (pjo/hoo five times jason missed his sister, and one time he saw her again)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

occasionally i get like smarmy comments like one on a certain fic that the timeline didn't line up (it did + i had page references + it was tagged canon divergence anyway) but not really

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have one so ig lesbian threesomes??

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i write so many crossovers i love putting characters in situations. probably rot with all the burnouts in the cell since it involved a ton of drama

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think one of them but i can't remember which one. (technically this is studying) i'm trying to translate a few of my drabbles into scots gaelic

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

in part like it got started and then i got ghosted before anything else happened

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

the couple i've written the most about is a tie between morridence, fierrochase, and jadie, but i'd say i get the most feelings about ruegard

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Great the Roman is coming up to its third year anniversary this month and i only hit the halfway point a few months ago so we'll see

16. What are your writing strengths?

lesbians. probably emotional stuff if i'm being serious

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plot. its part of the reason i only do oneshots about 1k-3k but i'd like to work on more big fics. part of the reason was i started a bunch back in 2021 and i'm still working on two of them

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

one of my fics has some dialogue in scots gaelic but i cannot remember for the life of me if its supposed to be 'S ann or 'S e form and its haunting me

19. First fandom you wrote for?

fun fact: i originally wrote on wattpad and published a fierrochase fic on the release day of the hammer of thor. it's called fierrochase and it Sucks but it might actually be the first one ever which is fun if not slightly haunting

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

well you don't know me. but i know you it's a asoiaf time travel fic from the pov of people who don't know. i feel like i really pushed myself with characterisation on it

tagging people who i think write fic @tragedykery @lesmiserablol @oh-hush-its-perfect @thebigqueer @aphrodititi @ethannku @speedytherandom

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic: August 22

I’ve been compiling these for a few weeks now, reading in the in-between times when I had spare minutes. The next few weeks is just me playing catch up. Let’s begin. Here’s what I’ve loved in the recent past...

DIETER BRAVO

Locked Down Part 15: The Goodbye and Part 16: The Escape by @something-tofightfor Holy crepes, part 15 was just beautiful and hard all the way through and it’s a testament to this writer’s beautiful skills that I started out at 100% yearning and it just. kept. going. And part 16...the yearning abated only a little. I’m just happy for the end of the ordeal.

Belly Button by @katareyoudrilling I love an eager sub Dieter. He’s just adorable here, just as desperate as he seems to be in the rest of his life, just a little slow on the uptake, but a truly good boy. As I said in my reblog: Who doesn’t love a good meaty sub? 

Overworked and Underpaid by @mandosmistress Who doesn’t love a good crackfic for the crackiest of boys? Working for Dieter is an odd job full of...odd jobs.

.

JACK DANIELS

It Goes Like This Forever by @writeforfandoms Jen’s back at the dragonranching and I’m here for it. We’re getting into some intrigue here and I know what comes next can’t end well, but I neeeeeed to knooooowwwww

.

JAVI GUTIERREZ

Crisp Apple (part of The Fox, The Mage and the Cupboard) by @littlemisspascal I know I sound like a broken record, but I really love this world. It’s my comfort fic and the way magic and the Pedro boys are woven through it is so clever and wonderful. I mean, I love all the characters and the story...but Rae had me at putting fox ears on Javi and bonding him to the reader. I cannot tell you the noises I make just thinking about that boy. This chapter though, centers on a convo with Santi. He’s a little shit, but in the best way. I would love to have this assassin-turned-musician on my side.

.

FRANKIE MORALES

Real Sugar: Two Days before Cassis by @deadhumourist This series always makes me hungry. And when it doesn’t make me hungry for foods, it makes me hungry for Frankie.

Changes by @insomniamamma Oh my gods this is the softest, most wonderful way to fall in love with Frankie and I want it so badly that I’m hurting. Short, sweet, soft, perfect. Fucking hell I yearn...

Medicinal Purposes by @grogusmum and @flightlessangelwings It’s a fact, orgasms can cure migraines. Enter Frankie to the rescue. Hot and sweet, just like I like him.

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MAX PHILLIPS

Time and Time Again by @beecastle Oooo. Goddess reader and an immortal vampire? And an ending that teases the possibility of...something beyond? I mean, if this is just going to be a one-shot, I love the way it ends. But if it’s gonna be a series, then sign me up.

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MARCUS PIKE

Punchbowls & Pincushions by @leslie-lyman You may have noticed that I don’t read Marcus very often. But you may have also noticed that I read everything that Leslie writes. I trust her to help me fall in love with this Dudley Dooright of a man, this goodest of Pedro boys, this soft, beautiful sir. A quiet little meditation under the trees, a fleeting infatuation...aaaand she’s done it again.

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GIO (DIETER BRAVO)

Buttered Toast by @beskarberry Crackfic to the highest degree. I think I broke for a full minute laughing at Gio’s toast-protectiveness. Istg this is exactly the effed up dream my brain would make me sit through if it ever decided to give me a Pedro dream. And I’d probably laugh all the way through that one too....

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NICO

Nautical Twilight by @insomniamamma J is by far my favorite Nico writer. She captures his strange voice, but also reveals a sensitive, fractured soul underneath his calm and confidence. The carapace is really cracking now...and it’s beautiful to see...

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[alfredolover119]

zukka fic rec list (post-canon)

howdy! i’ve been collecting zukka fics i like since uhhh june and now i am sharing my lists with the world. i’m splitting it into three posts so it hopefully wont be too long. this is the second one: post-canon fics! the other two will be canon era and modern au. [side note!! if youd like a specific type of rec list,, i.e. soulmate au, fake dating, ambassador sokka,, hmu and i’ll post a list !!]

within this post, the fics are in word count order! also, if you’d like a soundtrack for your reading, i might recommend my zukka playlist :^) happy reading!

speak ill by @moonsongdotmp3

-4111 words, teen

-developing/established relationship, ozai hate <3

"I hate your dad so much,” Sokka considers for a second. He tries to mix it up as often as he can when they play this game. “That I have considered starting an official petition begging Aang to reconsider his commitment to nonviolence.” // It’s quiet for a beat. He’s afraid he’s miscalculated, but Zuko laughs, broken and sincere. // (Or: 5, 8, 15 years after the war, Sokka talks shit about Ozai.)

Friends Don’t Let Friends Fake Date Each Other by @d-naggeluide

-5349 words, general

-fake dating, coming out, kinda crackfic

Toph demands that Zuko fake date her. This goes just about as well as can be expected. Sokka steps in to show them how it's done, and this goes a bit better than expected.

Oh, How We Find Our Way by @donvex

-6043 words, teen

-bed sharing, hurt/comfort, domestic fluff

In which Zuko doesn’t sleep nearly enough once he takes up the throne, and Sokka isn’t having it. And maybe they get to fall in love on the way, as a treat.

(let me be) there for you by @bisexuallsokka

-8471 words, teen

-friends/idiots to lovers, mutual pining, getting together

Sokka pulls out a clean piece of parchment and starts to write: Reasons Why Sokka Would Be A Great Bodyguard for Lord Zuko // He smiles in satisfaction at the title. Seeing it in writing only makes him feel more confident in this brilliant, two-minute-old idea of his. Zuko is one of his closest friends, and Sokka is a great fighter, he would be the perfect bodyguard! He has the entirety of his trip in the Fire Nation to prove it to Zuko. This is going to be a piece of cake.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas​

-8921 words, explicit

-royalty/moon spirit!sokka, childhood friends to lovers, no war au, mutual pining, fluff and angst

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9713 words, teen

-trans sokka, family angst

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

Will You Fake Date Me (But This Time For Real)? by AlyssiaInWonderland

-10520 words, not rated (teen, i think)

-fake dating, mutual pining, idiots to lovers

Zuko is determined to convince his Uncle that he is not, in fact, pining after Sokka. // Sokka is desperate to convince Katara and Aang that he is not, in fact, pining after Suki. // When Sokka's scheme to avoid pity means Zuko and him must fake date for an entire diplomatic event, shenanigans, realisations and confessions ensue.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey​

-10540 words, mature

-ambassador!sokka, friends to fwb to lovers, angst with a happy ending, miscommunication

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

Operation: Get the Fire Lord a Boyfriend by @rejectscanon 

-10679 words, teen

-established relationship, attempted matchmaking, fluff, hurt/comfort, 5+1

5 times the people of the Fire Nation tried to get Zuko and Sokka together, and 1 time they realized they already were.

a study in matchmaking by @verdanthoney​

-12218 words, general

-friends to lovers, mutual pining, idiots in love, bg bakoda and kataang

Zuko and Sokka try to play matchmaker, but things don’t go exactly as planned.

Always read Your Peace Treaties Carefully by preciousbunnynoiz

-14039 words, teen

-arranged marriage, miscommunication, found family, fluff, non-linear narrative, angst with a happy ending

Zuko and Sokka have been engaged to be married since the peace talks. Only they were the only ones who didn't know. // Everyone else thought they not only knew but that they had already been dating the entire time. // This is also news to Zuko and Sokka who have definitely NOT been dating but maybe they aren't as uninterested as they are protesting.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee​

-18767 words, teen, major character death (NOT ZUKO OR SOKKA OR ANY OF THE GAANG)

-found family, slowburn, fluff and angst, hurt/comfort, mutual pining

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

All the Little Things by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-23575 words, general

-fake dating, friends to lovers, mutual pining, bed sharing, fluff, miscommunication

Sokka receives an offer of an arranged marriage from the Northern Water Tribe. On the one hand, accepting would strengthen ties between their tribes. On the other hand, Chief Arnook has suggested Hahn as a potential match, and Hahn sucks. But with the future of the Southern Water Tribe Reconstruction project relying heavily on the good will of the North, Sokka doesn’t know how to say no. // (Katara doesn’t have to deal with this. Katara is dating the Avatar.) // Zuko has a solution. Sokka just wishes he’d realized he was in love with the Fire Lord before he agreed to pretend to date him.

isn’t this the vision that you wanted by @goldrushzukka​

-34633 words, teen

-pining, matchmaking, coming out, friends to lovers, bed sharing, internalized homophobia

Firelord Zuko - ender of the Hundred Year War, ruler of the Fire Nation, payer of respects and reparations - takes advice and counsel from representatives of every nation, division, and specialty. // But teenage boy Zuko - friend of turtleducks, wielder of fun looking swords, stumbler over words and feet in the presence of cute boys - only listens to two people, and they are conspiring together to ruin him.

(do you take this jerk to be) your one and only by @jatersade​

-55855 words, teen

-enemies to friends to lovers, (not actually) unrequited love, slowburn, sharing a bed, alternate universe, arranged marriage, huddling for warmth, fluff

Under the leadership of Fire Lord Iroh, the Fire Nation has made every attempt to restore peace and make amends for the harm they inflicted during the Seventy-Year War. Their newest proposal is a literal proposal: a marriage to unite the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes. // The Fire Nation offers Prince Zuko’s hand. // The Water Tribes offer Princess Yue’s. // Sokka is apparently the only person in the world who has a problem with any of this.

Wooing the Water Tribe by @dameferre​

-56839 words, teen

-didn’t know they were dating, i mean IDIOT idiots to lovers, ambassador!sokka, mutual pining, himbos istg

Zuko is courting Katara, and with every passing day finds new and insane ways of showing that he would quite literally move the spirit world and earth to make her happy. // In hindsight, it probably would've been better if Sokka had realised he was in love with Zuko at literally any time before this. Or preferably, never fallen for his best friend in the first place.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning​

-83901 words, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka, ambassador zuko kinda, hurt/comfort, slowburn, pining, canon divergence, miscommunication, sickfic, huddling for warmth, angst with a happy ending, enemies to lovers, underage drinking

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

[botwstoriesandsuch]

I recently read Shades of blue after you rwcommended it and Oh My God was it worth it. That was beautiful and amazing and do you have any other recommendations?

✨MISSIONS ACCOMPLISHED✨

AAAAAA I’m so glad you read it!!! Honestly I’ve been waiting for someone to ask me for recs for awhile because I have.........a few...

Miscellaneous ships here, not just Revalink but the first lot are

- Pinesong by @a-perplexing-puzzle D-Do I even need to explain myself more??? I talk about this fic every other day of the week..... it’s just great vibes....soft and fluffy and angsty just *chef’s kiss* two gay boys searching through their old memories to remember how gay they are 

- Shades of Blue by @unapologetically-asexual OK I know original anon just said they read this but for you idiots that haven’t read it yet....uhhhh get on that. Nothing I could say would really advertise this fic better than this post

- somebody’s always looking (nothing’s quite as sweet) by @kouzaires One of my FAV Coffee shop AU’s for botw....so sof......so tender...........so warrmmmmm.............they characters are written so well.....just love it...a lot

- Broken Spirits by @legendoftoad It’s just AAAAAAAAAA??!!? My boys are hurting and the malice for half of it is frickin doing things to my boy and then of course you got your PTSD themes meddled in there and hnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhghgh my hurt/comfort itch is sufficiently scratched go read

- Linger On by ICanFlyHigher [idk if they have a tumblr] Ok I actually haven’t finished this fic yet but it’s been recommended time and time again so I’ve been reading this in my spare time I’m on like Chapter 12 or 13 I think but I can say with CERTAINTY that the writing is fantastic and tender moments are off the charts and my boys are so precious and also the Yiga are actually cool in this so that’s nice

- Learning Flight by homewardbound This is just *chefs kiss* *standing ovation* *throws confetti in the air* quality quality Revalink. Just a delicious chocolate cake of botw and Revalink. You got your mysterious Revali waking up 105 years later batter, and your angsty PTSD gay boys duo chocolate chips, and then you can chuck in some engaging sideplot elements as a few tall tiers, and then the cake is all whipped up with the wooden spoon of subtextual writing just mmmm delicious. and ALSO I betaed a thing that is gonna happen and let me tell you shit is gonna happen like VERY IMPORTANT SUPER COOL plot twists be happening so you better read it 

- Conversations After The End Of The World by @bismuthllie Ok this one’s a oneshot but I always go back and read it because...idk it just strums my heart strings a lot...I’ve said Pinesong was my first big Revalink fic I’ce read, but this was like...my first, first piece of Revalink content I read ever so...yeah <3 ....and also the art for this comic is fantastic too even thought it gives me the emotions......hahaha ok Revali it’s time to stop being dead

- I See You Swimming In The Sky by @unavoidablekoishi OK OK I know my logic isn’t the best considering it’s the only Revali/Mipha fic I’ve read, but god dammit it’s the best Revpha fic I’ve ever read I still need to catch up cause I’m like 3 chapters behind but this fic CONVERTED me ok, miphvali went from a “huh yeah the art is nice I can kinda see it” to “THAT FISH IS SIMPING FOR THE BIRD 24/7 AND THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER″ This is some *claps* GOOD. SHIT. Ok? *slaps roof of fic* This bad boy can fit so much charming characterization and interaction (and also has made me scream both happily and not happily on several occasions)

- Guardian of The Wilds by @no-themes-just-memes in which I constantly miscall it “Guardian of the Wild” because I’m stupid This isn’t so much a ship fic but it’s so cool Link is a spirit, Urbosa and Zelda’s mom are a thing, Zelda is HERE and she is AMAZING like no spoilers but holy shit Zelda is here and slaying in more ways than one and riding Satori and hhnnnnhhhhhhhh it’s all about those ~plot twists~ and tone changes ya know? very very very nice...

- Firebird by @paellaplease Oh no, it’s Kip’s obligatory Firebird gush whoopsie poopsie who would have guessed surely not me. This is just my standard for Oc ship content now it’s so good I am gay for one fire girl Maiya is my spirit animal and I just wanna cup her in my hands softly even though I know she would probably burn me for it but it would totally be worth it. The writing is just superb and I am also gay for great imagery and action which this is chalk full of so go read it 

Ok it’s actually 2am right now and I still need to finish a bunch of AP work so I’m just gonna speed run the rest of these recs

@echogekkos writes such cute and soft Miphlink fics that are on my top tier list like this one and oh crap this post made me realize Healing Touch updated crap there are so many things I need to read and catch up on anyways want more miphlink angst? BOOM read the inspiration for eternity by Merakkli and oh what’s that? You want deep lore that was custom made with lots of hot ocs in a fic that spans way beyond BOTW welp here’s Hyrule Bound a universe entirely created by @themisadventurescrew which is yet another fic series that I am behind on crap but oh shit @kittmoon has started a chapter fic called Jaded Seas recently so you should go read that but also all of their oneshots are great as well so you should follow them and did I mention that everyone I’ve tagged are people you should follow because yeah anyhow here’s a crackfic about Goron children that had me shaking out of either fear or confusion for a few days by @angsttronaut ok moving on @thatsnotzelda writes beautifully just take a look at this angsty Revalink thing and also bambambambam you’ve been ambushed by @hatenostorms @going-fancognito @ashrel @lizards-writing-blog so now go request some from them because I said so they’re great also uhhh @idiotic-canadian and @moonchildrenn [Pins_and_Patches on ao3] hate happiness but that’s ok because I get to be emotionally wrecked by their angst and whump hurray! wait fUCK I completely forgot to rec this earlier but my first Zelpha fic was this gorgeous Coffeeshop AU by @theseventhsage called Dreaming of Coffee and Love so go read that *flipping through entire history of ao3* let’s see let’s see... All of the Rito Chronicles by  sturms_sun_shattered is great, and this Teba/Harth one is also a fav and oh CRAP my zelink content is just everything by @fatefulfaerie because it’s just *throws colorful streamers in the air* pretty and I love their writing welp I’m about to collapse lets just end it off with the z’s like @zzariyo and @zeawesomebirdie on ao3  they are some pretty radical french fries if i do say so myself and and ok ok read this other Zelpha coffee au which is also by @kouzaires and this Modern au also by @unavoidablekoishi ok that’s all I can remember right now bye