#he doesn’t learn anything… and all his self worth is now tied totally to the fact he has a quirk. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

palmett-hoes · 4 years ago

Text

We Need To Talk About Kevin

excuse the silly title, but it’s time for another long character analysis, this time on a character who holds a complicated place in the fandom consciousness: kevin

like every other character in aftg, i have a lot of criticisms for the way that the fandom tends to characterize kevin, because i feel like it tends to reduce a very complicated character down into very binary terms, that of either anal-retentive comic relief or a perfect, underappreciated innocent, both of which ignore his important flaws and the nuance of his character arc throughout the trilogy

now this meta is probably going to sound very, very critical of kevin, as i am focusing on his flaws. but i want to be clear that i don’t hate kevin, i don’t even dislike him. in fact i far prefer the deeply “problematic” kevin from canon to the highly sanitized version in the fandom, just like i prefer my andrew violent and unethical, my neil rude and messy, and my upperclassmen ableist and permissibly homophobic

one thing i really LOVE about aftg is how hypocritical every character is, because it’s honest. they all stand for something but fall a little flat of it in practice. they all hold the people around them to standards they don’t hold themselves to

they’re not simple characters. they reflect their trauma in ways that are not pretty or harmless, and they even reflect wider societal flaws that may not be logical or justifiable.

just like i do.

just like you do.

just like real people do.

---

so with that all squared away: kevin

let’s start with this: what is the essence of kevin’s character? what does he stand for? what is he about? when you simplify him out into a single idea, what is he?

answers will vary, but for me, kevin is an analysis of the idea that you can have everything, you can be rich and famous and talented and immensely lucky on top of it all, and you can still be abused

neil repeats this idea over and over. how he’s jealous of kevin. how he resents kevin. how he wishes he were kevin. because kevin had everything and neil had nothing

remember this?

and this?

kevin the star. kevin the sensation. kevin the media darling.

lucky kevin, talented kevin, beloved kevin

and then neil gets a little bit closer and learns that that’s not the whole story. kevin was isolated, his worth tied to his performance, his whole personhood tied to exy. the perfect boy who was forbidden from being too perfect, who had to walk on eggshells so as not to incur the wrath of his brother and guardian

but at the same time that doesn’t totally erase everything he did have

i think the fandom focuses a lot on kevin’s inferiority complex from being assigned second best, and not nearly as much on the idea that kevin was SECOND BEST, above everyone else

the fact that kevin had power and sway in the nest makes us deeply uncomfortable, because it complicates kevin’s status as a victim, but it’s the truth. kevin was the third most powerful person in the nest, above dozens of ravens, and not even an owned person like jean

we should attempt to reckon with the fact that kevin was not a passive player in the ravens’ power structure, but someone who was actively involved and benefited from it. the ravens were his pawns, too. his subordinates, there to critique and punish as he saw fit. they weren’t his equals and he didn’t have to view them as fellow people

even if you choose not to believe that kevin took advantage of this power in the way riko did, you still have to accept that it very much shaped his perception and way of connecting with others, which is obvious in how he interacts with the foxes

so let’s talk about kevin and his superiority complex

kevin is arrogant, self-centered, and entitled

it’s not all he is. he has other, better qualities. he’s dedicated, passionate, and - in his own way - caring. that doesn’t ERASE his flaws however

kevin believes himself to be correct 100% of the time. he thinks that his methods and his opinions should work for everyone simply because they work for him, and he tries heavily to push them onto other people. andrew remarks that neil will drive himself crazy trying to do things the way kevin tells him to, because he is simply a different kind of player than kevin. kevin’s methodology will never work for neil no matter how hard he tries and will just end up holding himself back if he keeps trying

andrew notices this, not kevin, because kevin believes that neil is simply not trying hard enough to do things the “right” way.

neil.

who tries harder than anyone to live up to kevin’s standards

he’s worse with the rest of the foxes, who unlike neil do not accept his methods unquestionably and don’t do backflips to make him happy.

the foxes recognize that kevin is talented and could have valuable things to teach them. kevin however thinks that he should have absolute authority over their training because his methods are “superior.” he thinks the foxes fail because they don’t listen to him and conform their playing styles to him

kevin also only approaches the upperclassmen on the court, and even there only with criticism and derision. he has never made any attempt to befriend them or get to know them in any way. he doesn’t need a rapport with them, he’s entitled to their obedience simply because he’s Kevin Day, The Son of Exy, The Best And Most Talented Of Them All

i’ve also written meta before about the assumptions kevin makes in his relationship with andrew. they have a deal that kevin will give andrew something to live for after he graduates. kevin, being who he is, decides that this thing MUST and WILL be exy, no matter how directly or indirectly andrew tells him this isn’t what he wants.

yet kevin never considers an alternative. he never asks andrew what he might want or never attempts to find anything else for him. they spend nearly every second of every day within arms reach of each other, yet kevin has never taken a moment to pay attention to andrew’s interests or preferences, anything that makes him tick. they know almost nothing personal about each other because kevin doesn’t believe any of that matters in giving andrew a future that makes him want to live. no. if it works for kevin it must work for everyone else. if kevin wants it everyone else must want it too

kevin’s relationships often become exclusionary. first with andrew, which i’ve just discussed. then with neil, kevin continually vies for more and more of his time, without regard for his health or concern for any other part of his life. he leaves neil with minimal time for school, pushes their practices late into the night depriving him of sleep, and discourages his efforts to spend time and make connections with the upperclassmen

now if at any point while reading this you, reader, wanted to argue that these things are because of the nest and kevin’s raven indoctrination, yes, you’re absolutely right, they are. it’s abundantly clear where and how each of these qualities developed, but once again, that doesn’t mean they’re not present. in fact, the clear connection between kevin’s flaws and his trauma is a sign of good character writing, showing the multiple dimensions of how our environments and experiences shape us

kevin’s anxiety, his obsessiveness, and his fear all come from the nest, but so does his condescension, his self-involvement, and his overbearing nature.

kevin was raised in a cult, but he was also from the very highest level of it. he comes from immense privilege in terms of his wealth, his influence, his fame, and his access to resources. materially, kevin has wanted for very little in his life, and his entitlement is very prominent in his character. none of this cancels out the abuse he suffered, but it’s also something i very rarely see addressed outside of being hinted at vaguely in a jokingly dismissive manner.

in fact, i often see takes on kevin that fully deny he has these traits at all, and that annoys me. i don’t like to see these wonderfully round characters flattened out, and there’s a particular irritating irony out of changing or misinterpreting a character’s personality in order to make them more palatable or more sympathetic in a series about how even people traumatized in unsympathetic ways are still deserving of help and decency

kevin can be a little morally gray,, as a treat

#aftg #tfc #kevin day #kandreil #kevaaron #txt #meta #character analysis #my posts #cw cult #cw abuse mention

283 notes · View notes

hualianff · 4 years ago

Text

More Than This

Modern AU where famous actor HC and landscaper XL meet through a dating app. HC had a reputation of being a massive flirt who bedded people left and right, which wasn’t completely wrong–just blown out of proportion. His partners were usually other celebrities who mutually swore to keep their mouths shut in the preservation of their own images.

When HC received a message on the dating app asking about the brand of the wristwatch he wore in his profile pic (which only showcased his hands), the other user hoping to purchase a cheaper, similar style for his friend’s birthday, HC responded for the first time since downloading the app.

What could he say? The other man was gorgeous and if he were simply asking just to slide into HC’s DMs, the actor wasn’t opposed.

Turns out XL asked out of genuine curiosity. FX’s birthday was still a month away. Why XL thought about gifting him a watch similar to the one the stranger wore when XL should’ve been paying attention to the sheer strength those large hands seemed to possess was beyond him.

The name in the bio read: San Lang. The few pictures that were displayed on his profile were minimalistic yet downright sexy. XL blinked in wonder as he typed out another message, hoping to continue the conversation.

Two weeks after chatting back and forth through the app, XL asked if he could meet HC in person. The actor pondered this for a grand total of thirty seconds before agreeing to meet. XL seemed like a sincere character, someone who put other peoples’ comfort above any task at hand–if his emoticon overkill and frequent check-ins with HC were anything to go by.

HC figured he’d cross the bridge once XL recognized him as a well-loved actor starring in the hottest films in the media.

Except when HC arrived in his expensive jeep that screamed wealth, dressed in appropriate clothes for a hike with a baseball cap concealing his features from far away, XL did not have an aha! moment.

“Hello, San Lang! It’s me, Xie Lian,” XL waved as he bounced his way over. “I hope the ride up the mountain wasn’t too scary. You get used to it once you begin visiting more often. Thank you for meeting with me today.”

“It’s no problem at all. Nice to meet you, Xie Lian,” HC greets, guiding them away from his car as soon as he locks the doors, not wanting to draw any onlookers’ attention.

XL gives him a kind smile, adjusting the clasp of his bamboo hat. He explains that there are three main trails and he was thinking they could take the medium-level route. Judging from his white work-out T, jean shorts, and hiking boots, HC deduces that XL spends much time outside, even when he’s not gardening for his clients.

“Lead the way, Gege,” HC says, the title naturally falling from his lips. In XL’s dating profile, his age read thirty-two, just under three years older than HC. (This was followed by a dozen tree, flower, and water emoticons.)

“Okay! Onwards.”

Following their initial meeting, HC met up with XL numerous times after, attracted to XL’s mellow and eccentric personality. Whenever it was XL’s turn to plan their time together, he brought HC to different places each time. National parks, plant nurseries, museums–places that could be considered unconventional compared to the standard meetups from dating apps.

HC’s fondness for XL only grew because of this.

Their chemistry flourished in the bedroom as well, both HC and XL eager for giving and receiving pleasure. In addition to being fuckbuddies, they quickly developed a wholesome friendship that HC never saw coming.

But then again, this was XL. Once HC got a taste, his infatuation with the landscaper shouldn’t be surprising. HC stopped seeing his other speed dials after he met XL.

One of their nights ended by watching a film, XL mentioning off-handedly how he doesn't keep up with pop culture–including popular films–but his friend SQX had begged XL to watch this one. Of course, this had to be a film HC was in, one of his most recent projects. There was no avoiding the impending reveal.

They sit side-by-side on XL’s lumpy couch, watching the movie when XL gasps as the antagonist comes into view.

That is his San Lang! On the screen!

When XL pokes HC on the bicep, asking why the actor hadn’t told him, HC simply says that “My fame isn’t important to who I am.”

To HC’s surprise, XL accepts the answer without protest, nodding.

“San Lang is San Lang, who happens to be a marvelous actor,” XL solemnly says, flashing HC a delighted smile. HC hums in content, subtly repositioning his arm so it rested on the back of the couch, curling around XL’s shoulders.

Except after the movie ended and a google search later, XL finds out that San Lang isn’t San Lang after all.

“Should I call you Hua Cheng from now on? Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’ve been calling you the wrong name for three months now-” XL rushes out, guilt painted across his face.

“Gege, it’s fine. I used it as an alias for my profile to protect my identity,” HC explains. He reaches forward to tuck a long strand of XL’s hair behind his ear. “Besides, I quite like it when you call me San Lang.”

“Really?” XL sheepishly asks.

“Really.”

From that moment on, HC and XL clicked perfectly, learning more about each other when time permitted them to meet up. XL felt a little foolish for not knowing who HC was as a celebrity. But like HC said, his fame did not define him as a person, which XL clearly saw from the playful way he held himself when there were no cameras around.

HC matched XL’s enthusiasm in whatever activity they were doing, even if it was something XL’s previous partners couldn’t care less about. Eight months into their arrangement, XL finally admitted to himself that he had deep feelings for HC.

While they had great chemistry as friends, XL selfishly wanted more.

But how could XL ask for something more? They already agreed to keep things casual, to remain as friends who used each other to release their sexual urges. It didn’t matter how delicate HC cleaned XL up or always ran him a bath after their climaxes. It didn’t matter how HC always set out his clothes for XL to stay the night. And it didn’t matter how close HC held onto him as they slept.

XL was simply a landscaper with a passion for nature and helping others. He wasn’t built for the limelight. He was barely in the loop with societal trends, and only recently began watching the latest movies with HC–many of which HC himself acted in.

Frankly speaking, HC could have anyone he wanted. XL was the one who should be grateful HC even sought him out a second time.

XL is thirty-three now. He wanted to find someone to settle down with, to spend the rest of his life with, falling deeper in love with every single day. He was not sure HC, who was just entering his thirties and continuing to make a name for himself, would want something like that with someone like XL.

Even when every one of HC’s actions alluded that he truly cared for XL, XL had learned that hope was a dangerous thing to mindlessly cling to. XL has had past partners come into his life, then leave him like he was nothing, like none of him was worth staying for. XL didn’t think he could bear it if HC became just another name on that list.

Furthermore, XL didn’t want to put HC or his career on spot, nor put his heart in a position where it was bound to be broken.

As XL grappled with his perceived one-sided feelings, HC only allowed himself to yearn when laying on the bed in his penthouse. It was much larger than XL’s bed. It was also much lonelier.

HC was unable to grant XL the verbal confirmation of where they stood, held back by the weight of his status, which had always been his selling point alongside his hypersexualized image. Not only did HC not want to risk pressuring XL into pursuing a relationship with a celebrity, but somewhere deep inside, HC didn’t believe XL could want him for who he is–even after the year and a half they’ve known each other.

Much of HC’s self-worth had come from his accomplishments as an actor, untouchable yet fantasized by the public. Peeling back all the layers he hid behind, HC saw his true self as too ugly, damaged, and undesirable; phrases many people in his past have spat to his face, including his parents.

In HC’s mind, he had already tied XL down to their routine no-strings-attached meet-ups. While HC savored every moment he spent with XL, he didn’t want to further intrude on XL’s simple life and have the other man resent him in the end.

《II》

(Thanks to @no-one-says-hi for helping)

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hualian #hualian au #xie lian #hua cheng #modern au #cerdrabbles #TBC #I love them so much #they love each other too #they just need to confess uwu

97 notes · View notes

datleggy · 4 years ago

Note

i’m not sure if this is a good prompt but i’d love to see something based off of jealous eddie in the new episode. established relationship with buck reassuring him about how he and taylor are just good friends. maybe getting together with a first kiss. i love all your work, but don’t feel like you need to write this if it doesn’t spark anything. thank you!

so i haven’t had a chance to watch the new episode yet, but i’ve seen gifs of jealous!eddie and it’s given me life lmao so here we go

Taylor is at the station...again. And that’s fine. Totally fine, Eddie tells himself over and over in his head, as he watches Buck moon over the reporter.

A week ago Eddie was content with his life and everyone’s place in it. Or so he thought, until he realized exactly why he was so bothered by Taylors presence at the station. All thanks to Chimney and his extraordinarily large mouth.

Eddie huffs, annoyed just thinking about it. He’d been in the locker room after a long shift, and Buck had run in and changed faster than lightning, barely taking the time to tie his shoelaces. Eddie had asked if he wanted to come over and grab a beer, maybe play some video games with him and Christopher, but Buck had politely declined. “Sorry man, I’ve got plans with Taylor, she’s waiting outside for me. I’ll see you guys Monday! Bye!” He’d waved and sped out of the station before Eddie could so much as think of an appropriate response.

Chim had laughed and said something that had most definitely struck a nerve, whether he’d intended it to or not. “Hey, cheer up, there’s other fish in the sea.”

And Eddie had thought in that instance: But I don’t want anyone else.

The very next day he’d broken things off with Ana. She’d been more confused than anything, initially, wondering if maybe she’d done something wrong, which had prompted Eddie to spill his guts to her about these decidedly romantic feelings he’s been harboring for his best friend.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize, not until last night, or I wouldn’t have dragged you into this, I just--” He’d tried to explain, tongue tied and at a loss. Ana was perfect, after all. Intelligent, a self possessed woman with ambition, good humor; she got along just swell with Christopher, and she was gorgeous to boot. But...

“Hey,” Ana had taken one of his hands into her own and squeezed gently, comfortingly. “So...this sucks. Because I really do like you Edmundo. A lot. But I am glad you were able to sort your feelings out. I know--especially growing up in a Hispanic household--how difficult it can be to come to that kind of conclusion. Have you...told him, yet?”

Eddie had shaken his head no, “Um, actually? You’re the first person I’ve told.”

That had come as a huge surprise to Ana, who, though heartbroken, had still offered a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, in the future.

Now, a week later, Eddie still hasn’t said a single word of this to anyone else. Not to Hen or Chim, not to his Captain--though sometimes the way Bobby looks over at him makes Eddie think the man knows something--and most definitely not to Buck himself.

Instead, he departs from the crew, shoulders stiff, irritation spiking, and makes his way to the bunks. Which is where Buck finds him a few minutes later, sulking.

“You ok?”

Eddie’s head swivels towards the entrance and he can’t help but frown at the tall figure standing there. It’s all Bucks fault, with the way his hair goes poofy with strawberry curls when it’s humid outside and those dumb contagious too-wide smiles of his and that look on his face when he gets hyped whenever he gets a chance to share any of the million factoids he’s learned--all of it makes Eddie want to rush up to him and kiss his stupid face.

“Eddie?” And suddenly said face is right in front of his, just inches away, and Buck is waving a concerned hand in front of him. “Earth to Eddie, you alright?”

Eddie blinks and quickly backs away, nearly falling off the other side of the bed, if not for the fact that Buck springs into action, one long arm going around Eddie’s back and holding him upright.

Now they’re impossibly close and Buck is staring at him all wide eyed and breathing kind of funny and Eddie is swaying forward ever so slightly, not breaking eye contact. He’s not sure what it is he’s doing, except that his hand is now caressing the side of Buck’s face and Buck is leaning into it and Eddie's tilting his head to the side and then their lips are meeting at the middle and Eddie can only describe the feeling as sparks of electricity bursting in his chest.

It's only when they finally pull away that reality comes crashing back down around Eddie and white hot panic sets in. "Shit! Shit, I'm sorry. I--that wasn't supposed to--I mean--" he covers his face with the hand that had been cradling Buck's cheek not five seconds ago and it's warm and butterflies flutter around in his belly.

Buck sits back on the bunk and clears his throat, "Um, I thought you and Ana were..."

Eddie looks up instantly, "No, no, we broke it off last week. Or, I guess I did..."

Buck nods. "Oh."

Eddie slides his sweaty palms across his pants and looks away, nervous. "I didn't mean to kiss you." Not when he knows Buck is dating Taylor. Not when she's literally in the other fucking room. Jesus Christ what is he even doing?

If Eddie were looking he would see the hurt that flashes across Buck's face for a split second before he's able to school his expression. "Right. Yeah." He lets out a faint impression of his usually boisterous laughter. "Who wants to be a rebound, right?" And then he's up and gone.

There's a tension hanging in the air between Buck and Eddie after the incident and no matter how badly Eddie tries to pretend it's not there it lingers.

It's Friday night when Eddie rallies and asks Buck out for a beer. Christopher is at his aunt's for the night and it's been a while since the last time they hung out together, just the two of them, so he figures it’s worth a shot.

He’s in the middle of asking Buck to go to a bar with him when who but none other than Taylor pops out from behind Buck, making the two of them jump. She tilts her head back and laughs at their expressions of surprise and Eddie wants to gag at how impeccably pretty she is with all that long red hair and those pumps on her feet that make her legs look like they go for miles.

“I got bored of waiting for you in the lot, c’mon, happy hour’s almost over.” she bumps her shoulder into his playfully and Eddie watches heartbroken as Buck gives her one of his charming megawatt grins. Taylor notices him staring and smiles politely. “Hey firefighter Diaz, didn’t see you there--we’re gonna’ hit Bahama Mama, you should come with us.”

Eddie tries to decline the invite but Taylor is relentless and despite his protests, he finds himself at the counter, ordering drinks next to Taylor, fifteen minutes later. He hates small talk, and apparently so does Taylor, because the moment Buck steps away to go to the restroom she turns to Eddie with her razor sharp stare and says, “So I heard you kissed Buck the other day and tried to do a little take back, huh?”

Eddie wants to glare at her and tell her to mind her business but this is her business, and he’s the one in the wrong here, not Taylor, and so instead of lashing out he bites his tongue and apologizes.

Taylor blinks. “What? Why are you saying that to me? It’s Buck you should be apologizing to. I’m not the one who’s heart you’re playing games with.” she snaps.

“What? What are you talking about? Look, I’m trying to say sorry here--I kissed him in the heat of the moment, and I want to say I wasn’t thinking straight but the truth is I’ve been in love with him for longer than I can admit but I know you two are dating and I know I overstepped, that wasn’t my intention at all so I just--”

“We’re not dating...”

Startled, Eddie turns around to face Buck, who’s standing behind him, having heard a good portion of that conversation. “What.”

“Is that why you said that? That you didn’t mean to kiss me? Because you thought Taylor and I were going out?” Buck can’t help but sound hopeful, gulping when it takes Eddie a moment to answer.

“You’re really not dating?” Eddie breathes out.

Buck shakes his head. “We’re just friends.”

It’s quiet for a moment before Taylor decides to break the silence. “So...I’m gonna go get us another round and let you two geniuses figure this out.”

As soon as she’s out of ear shot Buck sits down across from Eddie and both men try to speak simultaneously. “Oh, sorry, no, you go first.” Buck insists.

Eddie twiddles his thumbs and bites his lip. “How much of that did you hear, exactly?”

Buck’s heart pounds in his chest like a drum. “Uh, I think I walked up to the part where you told her you’re in love...with me? And for the record, I--you know, I--” Buck stumbles over his confession. “I’m in love with you. Too.”

“Jesus, Buck,” Eddie leans over the table precariously and holds Bucks face in his hands, not giving a damn about the fact that they’re in a crowded bar. “Are you serious?”

Buck nods softly and the scruff of his five o’clock shadow gently scratches the palms of his hand and Eddie can’t get over how much he likes that feeling. He could hold Buck like this forever. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please.” Eddie lets Buck take the lead this time, digs his hands into those blonde curls as Buck twists a hand in his shirt and pulls him even closer.

Taylor finds them making out like teenagers in the corner of the bar twenty minutes later and pats herself on the back for a job well done. It’s about time those two idiots figured it out.

a/n anon i loved ur prompt <3 thanku!

#a little longer than a drabble mayhaps #oops #thanku for the prompt! :)#911 fox #buddie #long post is long #911 #buck buckley #eddie diaz #ask #911 fox spoilers

97 notes · View notes

heyheydidjaknow · 4 years ago

Text

I would’ve posted this earlier but, alas, I passed out early. This is a longer one, but tumblr got its act together so I can post it all in one part. You guys know where the other chapters are, and if you don’t, they’re at the end of the chapter. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat straight Nutella.

Chapter 10

“I’m thinking about getting some gloves.”

He looks over at you as he laces up his skates. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nod, smiling slightly to yourself as you look your hands over, trying to imagine what they would look like. “Like, badass, fingerless gloves.”

He smiles. “Dude, those would look metal as fuck.”

“Totally, right?” Your smile widens. “With studs and shit.”

He gets to his feet, hopping onto the ice. “Hell yeah.” He drops a puck to assault as you go back to your backed-up coursework the best you can—your handwriting has gone to hell, but you are working with what you have.

You flinch at the crack of his stick, the cross of the T ending up underneath the letter somehow. A cheer from Casey tells you the rubber cylinder’s fate.

‘I swear I learned this.' You squint at the basic algebra, the pencil, crudely held in your fist, hovering over the packet. ‘Why can’t I do this?’

“How’s your pile coming along?” Another crack.

“It’s comin’.” You run your fingers through your hair. “Just… trynna remember how to do ne—… subtraction.” ‘Not debate. Negating is debate.’

He laughs. Another crack. “Man, that thing really fucked you over, huh?”

“Thoroughly.” You decide against continuing to torture yourself, having been at it for the past five hours—most of it in the library before Casey invited you to watch him practice some more— and set the large stack of homework back in your bag. “Are you actually making the shots?”

“Casey Jones doesn’t miss shots.” Another crack.

“Pardon me, oh almighty king of the ice.” You stand on your good leg, grabbing the side of the wall to watch as he went back to collect his pucks.

You two have managed to bond over a mutual respect/love of heavy metal and hockey and, seeing as you are staying out of the Hamatos’ hair for a while—not upon request, but out of courtesy—you have managed to spend a lot more time with him than you may have otherwise. Your school has not assigned Biology any big projects yet, so, until you are assigned it, you do not have anything other than your health to stress about.

“Pardon accepted.” You watch his form as he performs another slap shot.

“You…” you trail off, trying to remember what you were going to say.

“What?”

You shrug. “Dunno.” You lean your head on your arms. “I’ll remember eventually.”

He drops the second puck. “Got any plans after this?”

You sigh. “Nope. Probably gonna head home and try not to cut my fingers making dinner again.”

He takes another shot. “Then let’s go out after this. You and me.”

You smile. “What, don’t have any plans either?”

“Nah.” He drops the third. “Dad doesn’t care if I’m home late anyway.”

“True, true.” You have decided against prying into his home life; it is not your place and does not concern you in the slightest. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Wanna catch a movie? Heard there was this new pizza place just a couple blocks down if you wanna try to sneak it in.”

You snicker. “In the box and all?”

“Yes.” He grins mischievously and hits this one off the walls. Some way, somehow, it still makes it into the goal. “I bet your sweatshirt is big enough to stick the box under.”

You stick your tongue out at him. “Not in the mood for burns on top of scars, Jones,” you reprimand him teasingly. “That just ain't it.”

“Then you can wear mine under that one and—”

“Your sweat-soaked hoodie you’ve been practicing in all day?” You cringe at the thought. “Over my dead body.”

“I mean…” he licks his teeth, smile widening, “it’s not exactly like you’re in the best—”

You laugh. “So not cool!”

He puts his hands up in defense, gliding over. “I mean, am I wrong, though?”

“That is completely besides the point, you ass.” You balance on your foot, crossing your arms. “Damn. Making fun of the girl with the broken leg.”

He leans against the wall. “Man, you were dying before the crash.”

You roll your eyes. “Alright, whatever, Jones.” You lean against your hand. “How’s Johanna,” you sing.

He presses his hand against your face, pushing you away. “Annie is doing fine.”

You grin, steadying yourself on the wall. “Do you feel her, Johanna?”

“I’m gonna tell her you call her that if you don’t quit it.”

“Do you think that walls can hide her? Even when you’re at her window?”

He pushed his arm all the way out. You hop back.

“Her name isn’t even Johanna.”

“But she is Johanna,” you whine in protest, not bothering to hide your mirth. “She has the hair, the voice, the disposition. She’s an ingénue and you know it.” You have been teasing him about this for a while now: the girl in question—Annabelle Halshaw, a year below you two—had caught his eye when he had heard through the grapevine that she was the lead singer in some indie band. When he had shown you a picture and told you the story, you insisted on calling her Johanna for her golden hair and soft, sweet singing voice he had proudly had you listen to.

“She’s not.”

You roll your eyes, sitting back down as you grab your bag. “Lie to yourself all you want,” you goad, “but deep down, you know in your heart that the truth,” you put a finger up, “is apparent.”

He hops off the ice, sitting next to you as he unlaces his skates. “Whatever.” He smirks. “How’s The Don?”

You avert your gaze. “I haven’t seen ‘im.”

“Boo.” He tied the laces together. “Some girlfriend you are,” he ribs.

You go red. “Not my boyfriend. Not even friends with benefits.”

“Yeah, sure.” He sets the skates into his bag. “That’s why you already know his family.”

“That—”

“And why you’ve had him over to your place.”

“If you don’t cool your tits, I’m telling Lucy you’re crushing on her friend.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“What,” you simper, “think I won’t?”

He grabs his bag. “If you do, I’ll show her that video.”

You laugh, following him out of the rink. “You’re the worst.” You note how strange it is that he spent so little time on the ice as you two walk out, but you do not say anything about it.

“Hey, you’re the one throwing threats around.”

“Yeah,” you argue, “but my threat is clearly better.”

He rolls his eyes, pushing you again.

You two keep chatting on the way to the theatre about anything and everything, from new bands to upcoming games to the newest blockbuster horror movies. You are not personally on the hockey team, but, as his friend, it is your duty to care. Besides, you figure, it gives you something to look forward to.

The movie is fine. You convince him against sneaking an entire pizza in, you split a bucket of popcorn, and you give him shit for getting freaked out by the disembowelment scene. It is payback for him teasing you about crying during the last movie you two went to a couple of days ago.

You two stand at the streetlight.

“Dude, it’s like eight,” he groans. “It’s not even late.”

“True,” you agree. “Counterpoint: I still have another week’s worth of work to do by Friday on top of the homework I’ll have to do anyway, so unless you wanna help—”

“Forget I asked.” He pulls his hood up against the autumn wind. “Need me to walk you back?”

“Nah.” You shrug. “If someone mugs me, they’ll give me an excuse to not do my homework.”

“Murdered?

“I’m already halfway there.”

He grins. “See ya tomorrow, Y/N.”

“See ya, Jones.” You wave as he runs off.

The walk home is quiet and considerably easier than it was a couple of weeks ago. Seeing as you now get queasy whenever you get into a car, you have been limited to taking the subway and walking, which, among other things, has contributed positively to your physical strength. You know that you should probably at least try to take the bus or a cab around town to build your tolerance up, but the last time you tried, you had almost tripped and fallen from how shaky your legs were getting out. Oddly enough, you note as you go through the door, you do not have a considerably larger fear of heights than you did before, or of fire, but cars were tripping you up, even though you were the one that crashed it. You feel thankful that, at least, you do not think your fear is crippling. At least, you reason, you can still get into the car.

You lock the door behind you, debating whether you feel like adding to the collection of cuts you now possess— they are self-inflicted, but not intentionally so; you stubbornly refuse to acknowledge the fact that you physically cannot use your hands to cut things. You decide against it tonight, tossing your bag on the bed as you sprawl across it, admittedly exhausted. You allow yourself a couple of seconds with your eyes closed before you pull yourself up with a groan and get back to work.

A part of you wishes that you had the physical energy to stay out longer. You are always trying to find excuses not to sleep, and although the mountain of homework and readjusting your timelines for things you missed is certainly one way to keep yourself preoccupied, it is not exactly what you would consider fun. Then again, reliving your greatest traumas while you sleep is not exactly fun either.

You catch yourself peeling at the newly applied bandages on your fingers, fingernails catching under the crudely applied adhesives. Applying bandages properly requires more dexterity and patience than you currently possess, and you are hardly going to ask someone else for help with something as stupid as that. You have lasted this long without needing too much help. People can live by themselves. You will live, probably. Well? Not your concern.

‘I should eat something.’ Your eyes strain to focus on the piece of paper in front of you, your mind wandering aimlessly as you try to impress the actual importance of finishing this upon yourself, but you find that is an insurmountable feat.

You drop your bag off the side of the bed, reaching down and pulling your shoe off, leaning back into your pillows, the weight of the day practically immobilizing you. Fumbling hands switch the lamp off, bathing your room in momentary, blissful darkness before the gravity of your decision sets in.

“Alright, me,” you breathe to yourself. “What’s it gonna be today? My folks? Bradford? What’s his face? Hell,” you chuckle, “why not all three? I’m sadistic enough, I’m sure.”

You close your eyes. “Give me your worse,” you challenge as you slip into unconsciousness.

Two weeks.

He had kept his distance for about two weeks. It was not as if he did not care or was not morbidly curious what the crash had done to you—his glances through the curtains did not tell him much-- but, after some debate, he had figured you needed time to recuperate before you would want his company. Two weeks, he figured, would be enough time for you to get back on your feet or, at least, for you to start wanting company.

His excuse to see you had come in the form of his brother’s newfound prideful boasting. Feigning insult was as good an excuse as any to go see you; after all, he just so happened to be in the neighborhood anyway, and it was normal to pop in to see someone if you were already just a couple blocks down, right? Sneaking away was easy enough—they would not mind his absence—and he, after much prep work, knew exactly how and why he was going to say the things he would to get in your good favor. The plan, he knows, would have gone swimmingly.

His plans seem asinine when he hears you crying.

His brothers do not cry much. He does not, either; it was a habit that they had all thoroughly bullied themselves out of when they were much younger and, if they still did, he knew nothing of it. His master did not encourage this, per se, but talked, then, frequently about the importance of maintaining a more stoic disposition and not allowing emotions to cripple you in battle. Practically, Donatello was satisfied with that explanation, having not properly cried for more than a year now. To hear the sound again, especially coming from you, was novel.

Novel, too, is how you are crying. The sound is less of actual sobbing and more of you being strangled, quiet gasps for air escaping your lips as you shake on the bed, curled in on yourself and clutching at your chest as if whatever pain you are experiencing is centered and can be relieved by something between your collarbones. His eyes, for the first time, trace the lines on your skin, your sleeves riding up your arms to reveal them to him, tears racing down and along the gash in your face. Everything about the scene, from the soft gasping of panic to your position to the heavy scarring, is completely foreign to him, rivaled only by one or two particularly hard nights when he and his brother were much younger.

He slides in through the window, leaning onto the bed. His fingers flick your lamp back on as he grabs your shivering shoulder tightly, shaking you awake as he mumbles words of encouragement. He is not sure if his help will be appreciated, if snapping you out of it was even what he is supposed to do in this situation, but now is not the time to think of that. You are in pain. He can offer you this kindness. “Wake up,” he pleads, not thinking of how this would look until your eyes snap open to look at him.

Immediately, the reality of the situation sets in, and he scrambles off the bed. ‘Why did I think that would be a good idea?’ Panic. ‘You just walked into her room like a fucking creep. See, now she’s going to—’

“Sorry.”

He blinks, looking up at you from his place on the floor. “Huh?”

You clear your throat, wiping the tears from your eye with your sleeve quickly as you bring your knees to your chest, voice hoarse. “Sorry,” you repeat. “That you… I’m not sure what I’m apologizing for, but I know I should be apologizing.”

He is completely dumbfounded.

Your eyes glance to the open window. “I should probably start closing and locking my window, right?” You rub the back of your neck, voice clearing the longer you talk. “It didn’t occur to me since I’m so high up, but if you guys can get in, The Foot can too, right?”

‘Why is she apologizing?’

You push the hair out of your face. ‘You need something, right? I—uh—need to stop saying ‘right’ so much.” You shake your head to clear it. “’ Sup?”

He hears himself mumble some bullshit out about being in the neighborhood.

You sigh. “Sorry.” You close your eyes. “I’m usually up later; I’ve been so tired lately.”

‘Is she serious right now?’ He is completely lost. ‘She was just crying her eyes out in her sleep and now she’s apologizing? Did I miss something?’ You are smiling now, eyes still bloodshot, as if the whole thing is a figment of his imagination, still shivering where you sit.

He rises to his feet, kneeling in front of you on the bed. “What was it about?”

You blink, seemingly confused. “Huh?”

“Your nightmare,” he clarifies. “You were crying. What was it about?”

You avert eye contact. “Nothing too crazy,” you shrug. “Just about the crash. Nothing too exciting.” If possible, he thinks the bags under your eyes are worse than the last time you saw him.

He takes your hands loosely, turning them palms up to look, for the first time, at the patchwork quilt that is now your skin. “What happened in it?” He runs his thumb along the lines, keeping his voice low; he remembers how that used to help when Mikey used to have fits when they were younger. Leonardo and Raphael were never good at that; they took better to being more violently snapped out of their moods, but, then again, they never had this kind of breakdown; theirs were always more driven by loathing, self or otherwise.

You pause, still not looking him in the face as your muscles relax. He remembers, vividly, how he had done something similar when you two had first met, how much better, health-wise, you looked. ‘How long has it been since then? Three months? A little less?’

You take a deep breath. “Just… family shit,” you mumble, eyelids drooping as you trace his frame loosely. “Fire.”

Your gaze is piercing as you finally look at him properly. He feels something catch in his throat as you bow your head.

“It’s my fault, you know.” Your voice is so soft, barely a whisper. “That they’re dead, I mean.”

The air is a suffocating blanket that smothers you both.

“I never told you, did I?” Your focus does not shift as it might have a bit ago. It is locked solely and intensely on him, taking in every detail of his expression. “How I died? How they died? Why I died?”

Hesitantly, he shakes his head. He thinks it best to just be quiet and let you talk. He does not think he has ever heard anyone speak in quite the same tones, ever looked at him quite the same way you are.

You take another breath. “I wanted to try my hand at baking.” You force your eyes to stay focused on his. “I was—still am—not good about sleep. I always slept bad, and never at the right times. I used to take pills for it, to try to get myself back on track.”

He sees where this is going.

“I thought I could still stay up as late as I was used to.” You glance to the side, stealing yourself a second before focusing back on the boy in front of you. “I sat down in my room, turned on a movie. I set a timer. I fell asleep.” You swallow, hands shaking in his. “I can’t smell well, either. I must not have smelled the burning.” Your lips curl in a bitter smile. “Sure as fuck felt it, though, when I woke up.”

He lets you finish.

You try to blink the tears out of your eyes. “They were asleep,” Your voice rises ever so slightly. “I fell asleep at two something. I woke up when they started yelling.” You purse your lips, face reddening in shame as your nostrils flair. “They were trying to get someone out of bed when the roof caved in above them. My door got blocked.”

You feel yourself smile.

“So,” you strain not to cry, “that, Donatello, is why I’m here and why I’m dead, and why I really do deserve to burn again.” You laugh. “Hell, my body count is rivaling some serial killers, so that’s… that’s certainly something.”

He lets go of your hands, face blank.

You lean forward, placing your hands on your knees. “I don’t blame you,” You wipe a wayward tear out of your eyes, trying to swallow the frog in your throat. “Fuck, man, I’d think less of me, too, if it were me.” You nod towards the window. “I get it if you want to leave, but I thought you might want to know why—”

He stops you mid-sentence, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to him.

Your arms lay slack at your sides as you try to process what is happening.

He does not say a word.

You break.

You burry your face into him, tears welling in your eyes as you let out a strangled sob. You hold onto him tightly as you struggle to breathe, body shaking as you wrap your own arms around him the best you can. The sound roars in your ears like thunder, the deafening quiet of the apartment punctuated only by your own cries. He gently holds you there, resting his head on top of yours. Each sound you make sounds as though you are physically being choked by your guilt, and his chest feels as though it is being crushed by an invisible hand as he listens to your pain.

Neither of you knows how long you stay like that.

He considers telling you a story from a long time ago, about some training he and his brothers had back then, but thought better of it; he does not want to upset you any more than you already are, and being in good company with someone like him may not be exactly what you need right now. Granted, he does not know what you do need, but he knows listening to him talk about bashing brains would not help your sensibilities any.

Instead, he stays quiet.

You pull away after a while, wiping your face off again as you mumble out an apology.

“Don’t apologize.” He clears his throat. “It’s good to cry; it releases endorphins.”

You smile at that. “Well,” you giggle tearfully, “if it releases endorphins.”

He smiles back, face flushing. You look good, he thinks, even with your face all red. He knows that, scientifically, there is probably a reason, but he cannot think of it right now.

He stands up. “I’ll get—”

You grab his hand tightly.

He looks back at you.

“Can I ask a favor?”

He blinks. “Of course,” he agrees easily. “Anything.”

You glance off. “Promise not to take it weird?”

He feels his heart rate increase. “Y-yeah,” he nods.

He feels you pull him gently back on the bed. “Can you stay here tonight?”

His eyes widen as they flicker between the mattress and you. “What,” he clarifies breathlessly, “like sleep with you?”

You nod.

“In the same bed?”

You hesitate, nod again.

He clears his throat, face heating again. “Like, actually?”

“If it wasn’t actually, I wouldn’t ask, would I?” You grip his hand tightly. “I just really don’t want to be alone tonight.”

‘Oh.’ He mentally kicks himself. ‘She’s scared. Don’t make her uncomfortable.’

“It’s alright if you don’t—”

He is extremely quick to reassure you that he is more than happy—‘Bad choice of wording.’—to stay tonight until you fall asleep, but that he would not stay the whole night as to not worry his brothers.

You nod in agreement. “That’s fine.” You rub the back of your neck. “Not sure I would be good company when I wake up, anyway; I still have class.”

“Oh, right.” He nods in understanding, pushing himself further onto the bed. “Which side…?”

You shrug. “Which way do you face?”

“I usually lie on my stomach.”

“Then it doesn’t matter.” You slide your sweatshirt over your head after a bit of squirming around, tossing it onto the couch.

His face is now scarlet. “Okay then,” he mumbles, laying down on the side away from the window. ‘Is she going to—no, stop that.’

You look over at him, face down on the mattress. You can almost feel the heat coming off him. “Are you alright there, buddy?”

He nods.

You shrug, laying down under the blanket and curling into him, facing the window. “Mind getting the light?”

He reaches over, clicking it off.

You sigh in content, turning to face him, teetering on the edge of the mattress. “I’m not venomous,” you inform him teasingly. “I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: of the two of us, you should not be the one who’s a nervous wreck.”

“You dunno that.” His voice is muffled by the bed.

“You’re the strong one,” you argue.

“So?” He turns his head to look at you. “I’m the guy laying in the—I’m just gonna stop that sentence.”

“It’s only bad if it isn’t consensual.” You smile reassuringly. “I invited you to lay with me, right? So, unless I make you uneasy, then we’re all good.”

He breaks eye contact. “So,” he clarifies, “you don’t mind if I move closer to you?”

You shake your head.

He hesitantly slides himself further onto the bed. “Can I move closer than this?”

“You’ve already seen me bawl my eyes out. You’re doing me a service. Move as close or as far as you want.”

He moves to press his side against you. “Is this fine?”

You nod. “Look, how about this?” You rest your arm under your head. “If you do something I’m uncomfortable with, the safe word is pina colada.”

‘We already have a safe word?’ He was not sure if he is on cloud nine or just terrified of you.

You are very confused why he looks so warm. “Do you need me to turn the AC on?”

He shakes his head. “I’m good,” he assures you tightly. Slowly, he reached an arm out and over your waist, pulling you closer. You do not seem to resist in any way, wrapping your good leg around one of his to pull him closer.

‘Conscious touching.’ He glances down at you, trying to act cool. ‘Conscious, intentional touching. She smells so nice and she feels—okay, this is not going to work if you keep being a perv.’

“Thanks,” you mumble, humming softly. “I appreciate this more than you know.”

Cloud nine. Definitely on cloud nine.

“Every time.”

You giggle.

He blinks. “What?”

“Every time,” you note, already nodding off. “Like in that book.”

‘Which one?’ “They wrote it down for a reason, right?” The longer he spends like this, the smoother he feels.

“Totally.” You smile, closing your eyes. “Just know that this goes both ways, alright? If you ever need help like this, you know who to call.”

This is new. ‘Help like this? What, like crying?’ His eyebrows furrow as he tries to understand what you mean. ‘Or he means if I ever need company in my—what did I just say?’

You pick up on his confusion. “Emotional help, I mean.” Your fingers trace the indentations in his shell absentmindedly. “I mean, I know sometimes I didn’t want to go to my family about stuff. I dunno if you have that…” you trail off, realizing that you might be unintentionally bashing his brothers. You sincerely do not want to blow this.

“I mean,” he says after a bit, “I think I get what you’re talking about.” He sighs. “You mean stuff that they’d make fun of me for, right?”

You nod.

He feels his heart melt a little. “I’ll have to take you up on that.”

You forgot how safe he makes you feel. “Goodnight, Donnie,” you mumble sleepily.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

You pass out not long after that. If he has to estimate a general amount of time, he will clock it in at about five minutes. He does not move, however, until about thirty minutes before sunrise, too busy listening to the sound of your breathing and memorizing how exactly your body feels next to his. As he slips out of the window, early morning air waking him back up completely, he wonders if, someday, he could stay to see you wake up next to him. Not out of necessity, but just because you both wanted to stay like that for a while more.

‘I hope so. It’s a nice dream to have, anyhow.’

Table of Contents

Chapter 9

Chapter 11

40 notes · View notes

clonewarslover55 · 4 years ago

Note

hi! i was wondering if you could do a relationship hc’s for commander neyo please? my boi doesn’t get enough content. i love all your works btw! <3

Yessss!!!! I did Bacara here, now it’s time to do my other psycho hubby

Commander Neyo relationship headcanons //SFW and NSFW//

SFW

If you even get Neyo to talk to you then you deserve a medal

Neyo hardly ever talks, and if you piss him off he’ll probably spit in your face

So be careful of what you say around this Commander. He isn’t the nicest

If you do happen to get him to talk he won’t say much

You learn he’s very interested in other species, so you talk about that with him

He doesn’t enjoy talking, so he’ll nod and other things to express himself

When Neyo talks it’s mostly cuss words anyways

When Neyo begins to like you, everyone knows immediately

Neyo will talk to you?? And you’re not a clone or his general?? Crazy.

It’s still not a lot of words but it’s some

It’s a lot of work to get into a relationship with Neyo, but it’s worth it

You quickly pick up on his habits because he trusts you enough to allow you to follow him around

Neyo is pretty similar to Bacara, he works out a lot. But not in the same way

Neyo runs instead of lifting a lot.

He doesn’t go out for drinks or anything when he’s on leave

So he runs. A lot.

If you bug him enough about it he’ll eventually mess up his schedule and come to your home

He’s obviously very OCD so it takes a lot of bugging to get him to come over

Neyo is fucking awkward at first. He just stands in the center of your living room looking around

You have to shove him to the couch and distract him by a holomovie or whatever

He relaxes after a few minutes and eventually leans into your touch

Neyo is very awkward on the whole touching thing. He also doesn’t know anything about relationships either

So it takes a while for him to be fully comfortable around you

Neyo never came to your place unless you asked him to, but as your relationship progressed that changed

After one particularly stressful mission he showed up at your house in full armor

He basically moved in with you at this time. So you bought him comfy sleeping clothes

Neyo will not admit that he loves the fuzzy socks or comfortable sweatpants

It’s obvious though

Neyo doesn’t flirt, but he shows off some.

When he runs and you watch he makes sure to run extra fast, just simple things like that

When he basically moved in with you he’d wear the sweatpants and nothing else

The sweats were a little too tight they showed off his goods and very muscular legs

The asshole knows this and loves it when you stare at him.

When he’s that comfortable around you he still hardly talks, he just doesn’t want to

Neyo never takes you out anywhere unless it’s on a walk at nighttime.

He always brings you to his favorite rooftop on the upper levels of Coruscant and watch the ships

He’ll go to restaurants if you want him to, but he’ll be awkward and very very tense

He hates being in public without his armor

If he does go out in public with you he will always be touching you. He is very possessive

This means he gets jealous easily. If someone looks at you or tries to touch you Neyo sees red

Neyo will kill people over you and not bat an eye.

Luckily for those pervs, you can relax your angry psycho boyfriend

That’s why most of your dates are you two just relaxing on your couch

You’ll have to climb onto him for him to cuddle you at first

He’s so touch starved that he doesn’t really know how to cuddle or anything

You have to teach him how to relax and such when you lay on him

He ends up loving it

Sometimes he’ll just pick you up and plop down so he can hold you

Neyo seems like a hard ass but if you pout and give him puppy eyes he breaks

It’s his weakness.

Since he doesn’t talk much you learn his body language easily

It’s harder than it sounds

Neyo really misses you when he’s away on missions, so he may comm you sometimes

He’ll come back and just want cuddles because he missed you.

It’s really sweet. If you say it’s sweet he will scowl at you.

Neyo’s hair is a little longer than most clones, so he slicks it back

It keeps it out of his face when he’s wearing his helmet

He doesn’t slick it back when he’s on leave

Neyo lets you play with his curly mess of black hair and he loves it

He has more tattoos then the one on his face

You made him stand naked in your bedroom while you examined his many scars and tattoos

He had two sleeves that connect along his chest and back, all with some odd patterns

The patterns somehow reminded you of death, in a weird way

The pattern moves down his spine and splits down his lean hips, stopping at his V line

When you asked if the linked tattoos were pointing to his dick he just shrugged and smirked

Neyo has an odd personality, much like Bacara’s

He can do something absolutely hilarious and keep a straight face

Neyo doesn’t show too many facial expressions anyways, he’s very good at keeping a mask

If you make him smile it makes your day

The asshole will mess with you. He loves teasing you in his own way

You’ll ask him a serious question and shrug, his dark seemly soulless eyes shining

Neyo doesn’t sleep well and doesn’t seem to like sleeping

He has terrible nightmares, mostly plagued by his own thoughts

Neyo really enjoys killing, he enjoys the control.

He would never hurt you but he still worries.

He sleeps better with you in his arms, or with his head on your chest

He’ll still wake up in a cold sweat some nights and will flinch at your touch

It takes a minute to get him to relax but eventually he’ll calm down

He just curls up against you, shaking slightly, while you whisper sweet nothings to him

Neyo never thought he could ever show so much weakness, but he loves you

He’ll probably say it first, like right out of the blue

When his gruff voice says the three words your heart nearly stops with joy

Neyo may seem soulless to many, but to you he’s your cuddly lover

NSFW

Help him. He is so awkward

You have to show him and teach him the first few times

Once he relaxes and memorizes your body(Very quickly) He doesn’t need anymore teaching

Once he’s more confident he’ll fuck your brains out

Neyo is into rough sex, like very into it

You learn he’d rather fuck you hard that you can’t move than to run. It’s his new favorite exercise

Neyo seemed very dominant at first, he was so primal about it

You quickly learned that if you tried hard enough you could flip the positions

He loves wrestling with you for the dominant role, it becomes foreplay for you two

You two rarely have those slow and soft intimate nights, unless he’s feeling tired or needy

If you ask though, giving him the pouty face and eyes, he’ll do whatever you want

No matter how hard you two fuck, he’s still making you cum as much as he can

He loves watching you as you cum, he especially enjoys the noises

Neyo isn’t the biggest fan of quickies, but he’ll do them

Neyo will totally do public sex. He wants everyone to know how much pleasure he gives you

Neyo will tease the fuck out of you in so many differnet ways

He loves the noises you make so he’ll tease for as long as he pleases

His self control is fucking nuts

You didn’t know Neyo was kinky until the night you came home and he was sitting on your bed, naked, and holding a few lengths of soft fabric

He loves to tie you up.

Neyo also loves choking and spanking, you learned that the hard way

You also learned that Neyo is very into anal, as a surprise of course

He won’t ever bring up his kinks but he’ll do whatever you want

Neyo will fill out your deepest darkest desires. He whispered this to you once and it nearly killed you

Neyo doesn’t dirty talk but he growls deeply, he’s very vocal with his groans and growls

It’s really hot actually

If he ever mumbles your name or some words, his voice is extra gruff from not being used often. The tone is hot as fuck.

If he says a word to you during sex you’ll probsbly cum immediately

Neyo will mark the fuck out of you. He bites and nips, he wants everyone to know that he controls your pleasure

He’ll make you go to work sometimes with your thighs still covered in his cum

Neyo is Very very possessive.

If he ever draws blood with his bites he’ll lick it off. He has a big blood kink

I mentioned how he shows off with the too tight sweatpants? Well….

He’ll sit in a man spread and pat his thigh. He loves watching you ride his muscular thigh

Neyo has very muscular and powerful legs. If you trace his leg muscles he tenses and shivers as lighting bolts of pleasure shoot straight to his cock

If you trace his tattoos or scars he melts, he loves it.

Worship his body then dom him, he loves it. He’ll moan louder than ever if he’s being ridden or pegged/dick downed.

If you mention your sex life to anyone else you don’t even know what he’d do

It’s strictly between the two of you(Unless y'all sometimes have a friend or two over if that’s your thing)

Neyo always surprises you with what he’ll do

He woke you up one time by giving you oral

His mouth is incredibly talented, he made you forget your name with just his tongue

If you give him oral prepare for him to fuck your face

He’ll use you as his personal fuck toy unless he’s tied down

He secretly loves being teased till he nearly begs. He never begs by the way, you’ll get a snarl

You begging on the other hand? He fucking loves it

If you say his name, call him commander, or call him sir then you better be ready to be fucked extra hard

Neyo is a little weird about aftercare

He wants you covered in his sweat and cum as you fall asleep in his arms

He wants you marked for as long as possible

You can talk him into a shower with you though, he really enjoys those

No matter what, you’re falling asleep in the embrace of you big “Mean” cuddly commanders arms

Tags:@royalhandmaidens @catsnkooks @valkyrieofthehighfae @peacelandbread @blue-space-porgs @leias-left-hair-bun@Iamassbuttkingofhell @Azem-thefourteenth @opalstxrs @commanderrivercc-3628 @my-awakened-ghost @captainrexstan @hounding-around

#commander neyo #commander neyo x reader #neyo #commander neyo x you #commander neyo x y/n

138 notes · View notes

willykappymarnsmatts · 4 years ago

Text

Angels Like You (Can’t Fly Down Here With Me)(A.Matthews/M.Marner)(Chapter 1)

Auston and Mitch are as close as best friends can be. In fact, if their teammates didn’t know any better, they would probably think they were together. But Mitch has a girlfriend. And Auston is straight.

As far as they know.

Of course, Auston has been in the closet since his third year of high school, and nobody except his sisters and his mom know that he actually is gay. Not even Mitch. And nobody in the world knows he has a crush on a guy.

Nobody knows he’s had a crush on this guy since his first year in the NHL with the Toronto Maple Leafs. Not even his best friend.

Because it is his best friend.

It’s a heart wrenching, I-think-my-chest-might-explode-because-I’m-so-in-love-with-you type of love, and it’s been slowly killing Auston since he was 19 years old. Nothing he does, nobody he meets, is able to staunch the bleeding of his poor, hopeless heart. When he looks at Mitch, it feels like his heart is both swelling with adoration and being stabbed with about a million knives at once. Because he loves him, he adores him, but he’s not allowed to have him. He's so far out of reach it's almost funny just how much Auston really loves him. Almost.

And lately it's been killing him more than usual because he just knows he would treat him so much better than his toxic girlfriend does. She treats him like garbage every single day, ruins Mitch's self esteem and happiness, and still somehow makes Mitch believe he deserves it. She's manipulative and mean and dishonest and terrible for Mitch. Auston wants so badly to swoop in and take Mitch away from her, to show him just what he really deserves, but he can’t, because despite the pain in his eyes, every single day he is adamant that he’s “endlessly happy with Monica.” Yeah, right.

Then one day, Will catches up to Auston after practice with a look on his face so mixed with different emotions it's unreadable. “We have to do something,” Will pants, out of breath from running to catch Auston before he was able to get into his car and drive away.

“What are you talking about?” Auston doesn’t know whether he should be concerned or whether he should laugh at the mess Will is at the moment.

“About Mitch, you idiot. We have to get him to break up with her. Just now, after you left the room, that bitch came in and told Mitch he can’t be friends with you anymore.”

That hits Auston like a bullet in his chest. He feels the shock in the throbbing of his head, in the clenching of his muscles, and in his hands balling into fists. He shuts his eyes tight and takes a breath to gain composure, then opens his eyes and nods at his friend. “What did he say?” His voice comes out almost like a whisper, as if he’s afraid to even ask the question, terrified of what the answer might be.

“He didn't know what to say, man. You know he loves you, but Monica has him tied around her little finger.” Will stares at Auston with so much sympathy in his eyes it takes all Auston’s will not to break down right there. This year, Will has glued himself to Auston’s hip in an effort to remain somewhat grounded while the Leafs ripped his best friend, Kasperi, away from him. They’ve always been close, but now Auston sees him about as much as he sees Mitch, if not more in the past few weeks. “Then he just nodded. The whole room went silent and I put my shit on and ran out to catch you before you left. I knew you’d want to know, since-”

“I’m in love with him.” The words are out of Auston’s mouth before he can stop them.

Will is silent for a beat, and Auston almost regrets not catching the words before they fell out of his mouth. Almost, since the relief he feels after finally voicing his feelings might just make him collapse.

“What are you talking about?” Will laughs under his breath and adjusts his hockey bag on his shoulder. He quickly realizes Auston isn't kidding, and his face goes slack. “You’re in love with Mitch? I didn't even know you swing that way.” Auston has to make a conscious effort to keep the smile off his face that’s threatening to show Will just how ridiculous his incredibly intelligent vocabulary sounds, but manages when he thinks about the fact that he might be losing his best friend and there’s nothing he can do about it.

“Nobody does, I wasn't even going to tell you.”

Will puts on a show of being mock-hurt, but then immediately wraps his arms around his best friend in Toronto. “Hey, that's cool. That's totally cool. And I totally see why. I mean, Mitch is cute!”

Auston shakes his head as Will pulls away, but he's smiling. It’s the first real smile that’s crossed his face that day, and he silently thanks whatever God there is for bringing Will into his life. “Yeah, um, what do you think we should do, then?”

“I have no idea, I was hoping you had a plan, but I guess not.”

“Do you think we could convince him that she’s not worth it?” Auston asks, but he knows that would never work.

“I guess we have to break them up somehow. Maybe you show him how much it hurts you that he would even consider leaving you for her.”

“Or maybe I let him make his own decision and he’ll figure out whether he really needs me or not.” As the words leave his mouth, his heart shatters, but he knows it's the right thing to do. Not just because he loves Mitch and he doesn't want to ruin whatever happiness he has with his girlfriend, but also because if it's what Mitch really wants, nothings going to stop him from doing it. Not even Auston. And that's part of the reason he loves him so much.

Will nods, and the slam of a car door makes the two of them jump and turn towards the direction of the noise. They go in search of the sound and find a distraught Mitch, fumbling with his keys, trying to unlock his car door. “Mitch what-” Auston starts, but he gets cut off with the sound of a heartbreaking sob leaving Mitch’s lips.

“Monica and I broke up. She said she didn’t want me to be friends with you anymore, and you’re my best friend, so I could never let that happen. At first I said yes, and I’m sorry I said yes Auston, I’m so sorry, but then I realized what the fuck I was doing and I knew I couldn’t and she’s gone.”

Mitch continues to ramble on, and Auston and Will exchange a worried glance. Mitch drops his keys and looks at the ceiling, the underground garage lights reflecting off his glassy, tear-filled eyes, before starting to lean down to grab them, but before he has the chance Auston drops his hockey bag and lunges forward to wrap Mitch in his arms. Sobs rack his body, and Auston holds on tight. Mitch’s head is nestled in the crook of Auston’s neck and he feels his hoodie start to soak with tears, but he doesn't care. He doesn’t give a single thought to anything else in the world other than the boy in his arms. Mitch bunches up Auston’s hoodie in his hands in an effort to ground himself, and Auston’s heart breaks and swells in the same moment. It’s a type of pain he’s never felt before. Auston has no idea how long the two of them stand there, but by the time Mitch releases his grip on him, Willy is long gone. Mitch stares up at Auston, his red, glassy eyes flitting back and forth over Auston’s. He’s so close Auston can feel his breath on his lips, and he wants nothing more than to close the small space between them and kiss him, to make him forget about everything that’s wrong in the world just for a second. But he stops himself, and the moment passes just as quickly as it came. Mitch shakes his head slightly and forces a sad smile up at his friend, then grabs his keys from the ground.

“Goodnight, Aus,” is all Mitch says before getting in his car and driving away without looking back.

“Goodnight,” Auston replies into the now almost empty parking garage as he watches Mitch drive off. And the thought passes through his head that maybe Mitch wanted him to kiss him, too. But it can’t be possible. He’s making things up to make himself feel better, to try to tape up the cracks in his heart that formed as soon as he saw Mitch in shambles. It’s not going to work, though, so he wipes the stray tear that’s begun to fall down his cheek and lifts the strap of his bag up over his shoulder. He runs his hands through his hair and takes a deep breath. Mitch doesn’t love him. The idea that he ever would is stupid and only exists inside his head, because why the hell would he. It’s the cold, hard truth, and Auston has to learn to accept it.

But for one more night, he’ll let himself hurt over it.

#mitch marner #auston matthews #auston matthews/mitch marner #toronto maple leafs #willykappymarnsmatts #william nylander #kasperi kapanen #hockey #nhl #nhl hockey #hockey imagine #nhl hockey imagine

26 notes · View notes

unbury-the-gays · 3 years ago

Note

(hello, zkretchy but on my main blog here to throw out a little, kinda even, package of those ask meme asks into here and simultaneously stopping myself from just asking all of them)So I politely ask for Numbers 2 (and 3 actually add that in), 13, 17 and uh 25 or 27 idk how far you all are with any possible future dealings - also congrats on 45kwords! Thats a lot of them holy shit and well done!

Hi, zkretchy, thanks for the ask! We had lots of fun brainstorming these.

2. If they could each describe each other in one sentence, what would it be?

So I know you said one sentence, but we'll do you one better: one word.

Kiyan about Adrien: Bastard. Adrien about Kiyan: Mine!

That about sums them up at the moment, really.

3. If they complimented each other, what would they say?

Kiyan would make a sour face and insist he saw nothing worth complimenting in the bastard, but if you made him be honest he'd admit he's attractive and smart and fun to argue with. But he would struggle to say it to Adrien directly, for a couple reasons. The first is that Adrien would be absolutely insufferable about it. He'd just be so incredibly happy about the slightest compliment from Kiyan and that much extrovert energy is just Too Much for Kiyan. Also, he has difficulty forming compliments because they're not really something he's familiar with, either giving or receiving.

Adrien is a bit cautious about giving Kiyan compliments directly at the moment, because he correctly identified that Kiyan does not know what to do with them. But he's getting bolder about it. He tells Kiyan he's beautiful when he finds him in the waterfall. And he's absolutely talking Titus's ear off about how awesome Kiyan is 😂.

Ultimately they both suffer from self-esteem issues that make compliments complicated, but they respond very differently.

Adrien needs to hear compliments. Knowing Kiyan finds him attractive, interesting, and smart would absolutely thrill him. Adrien wants to please him, wants to be wonderful to him, wants to be admired and take anything and everything, even the smallest praise.

On the other hand, accepting a compliment would make Kiyan uneasy, at least initially. That would be something he would have to learn. It's not that he finds receiving compliments unpleasant. It would just be strange and new to him and would require him to deal with his low self-esteem.

13. Name something they would never do for the other person.

This one was interesting! Considering that they both have a selective morality and don't hesitate to either kill or die (Adrien is almost looking for an opportunity to get himself into a dangerous situation, and Kiyan may not want to die, but he shielded Adrien with his body without hesitation, so), the usual limits don't really apply. They would burn the world for each other, and the people living there, because neither the world nor the people have offered them anything that they would consider valuable so far. So they would kill and die and do other bad things for each other. And it would be disturbingly easy for them. But what they wouldn't do for the other is change who they are.

Kiyan's instance of this is practically canon: Adrien offers him a position as his kept man and Kiyan runs away. That offer is what breaks the hold that his fascination and attraction to Adrien have, the bond they are forming. He wouldn't give up on going on the Path, he wouldn't give up being a witcher, because it's an integral part of who he is. Neither his pride nor his temperament would allow him.

Adrien is more complicated. Despite being overbearing and possessive, he is willing to make concessions for Kiyan. He is willing to change so that this relationship can work. Despite the fact that he doesn't understand many things and does many things wrong (and from wrong reasons), he is willing to cooperate as long as he sees that he can gain something from it. But submission is not in his nature. The more Kiyan tries to take control, the more he will fight for it. He understands relationships entirely as a play of dominance and control because those are the only relationships he's ever known. Adrien is afraid of being controlled, but the only way he knows is to control back. He can't really conceptualize a relationship that is equal and doesn't rely on control. So he understands that Kiyan doesn't want to be controlled, but he pushes because he doesn't know any other option and he needs to be in control more than he wants to be what Kiyan wants. The thing is, Kiyan doesn't actually want to dominate the relationship. He just wants Adrien to stop treating him as a possession and be his equal. But Adrien doesn't know how, and so he rebels against what he perceives as a threat to the one thing he won't change.

17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other?

For Kiyan it's definitely scent. Adrien wears a rich scent with a combination of Ofieri spices that reminds him of his mother, and Kiyan has definitely noticed. Also because witcher senses mean the scent is very strong and he's used to keeping track of scents like that. Adrien also smells of horse a lot, which is comforting.

Adrien likes to keep Kiyan's drawings, when he eventually is allowed to see them. And seeing drawings by other people always makes him think of Kiyan. Also he's a collector and has a gift-giving love language even once he gets over the whole possessiveness issue somewhat, so he does a lot of "oh, Kiyan would like that" type thinking, building a little Kiyan catalogue in his head and then gifting the things (slowly so Kiyan doesn't run off, he learned his lesson with the strawberries and courtesans offer 😂).

25. What moves do they know work on the other?

I know you said 25 or 27 but we answered both 😅. They were fun to think about because we hadn't thought about sex a lot with them since they have such a long way to go before they're in a place where they can do things like explore kink 😂.

In general, something that works on Adrien is when someone needs him. Not just sexually, but with everything. This applies not only to Kiyan, but also in a way with his relationship with Gisbert and also in a way with his guards - these people need him; without him they would have nowhere to go. So even if Adrien weren't in the mood for something (not just sex, though Adrien not in the mood for sex is hard to imagine) if Kiyan admitted he needed it, it would chang the mood. Kiyan doesn't know this yet, but it's not that hard to figure out. What Kiyan knows at the moment is that it is really enough for him to be alone in the same room with Adrien. But that's more of an action of unresolved sexual tension than of an actual thing that would work. Playing hard to get or making something into a challenge also seems to work. Right now it's because of the UST, but once they resolve it they could probably have some fun with playing with that deliberately.

With Kiyan, it annoys him how arrogant, possessive and pushy Adrien can be. So the more Adrien shows these traits, the more Kiyan will say no. But when Adrien shows more humility, as he sheds his arrogant asshole mask and shows his more vulnerable face, Kiyan doesn't quite know how to fight it. Kiyan has a hard time saying no to an actual vulnerable honest request because he genuinely does care for and desire Adrien. If Adrien can be vulnerable enough to say "please," Kiyan can't resist him. (Adrien noticed this but, being someone who sees everything as a power struggle, thought it was about humiliating him. It's an exhausting way to live. He needs so many whacks with the "be a better person" hammer.)

27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share?

Ok so overall, they defintiely get kinky but don't go in much for the D/s side of things. They both need control of their own mental state too much to ever really give that over to each other. But Kiyan's witcher senses make sensation play very fun, and Adrien is totally down for being tied up. Adrien's active imagination also makes for some fun roleplay, which Kiyan indulges.

Also for Maximum Angst, Kiyan used to enjoy bondage and pain stuff, but after Ireneus he can't stand them 😭. Only soft gentle things for our witcher, which Adrien is more than happy to provide.

And then we got side tracked by a scenario and had two very different responses to it.

The scenario:

Kiyan tying Adrien to bed, gagging him, Adrien all horny, and instead of going into action, Kiyan takes this opportunity to finally go to meditate in peace.

Gav's thoughts (aka what Adrien is thinking):

Adrien tied and gagged and impossibly turned on and all he can do is lay there and watch Kiyan meditate, completely serene. Reminds them of all the times Kiyan kissed him and ran away at the beginning. Only now Kiyan is still there, Adrien can see him, and he can't touch or talk or do anything. It's not about Kiyan being in control of Adrien, it's about Adrien accepting that he has no control over Kiyan. He just has to wait and hope Kiyan will choose him

Advena's thoughts (aka what Kiyan is thinking):

Kiyan comes back from the Path tired, but Adrien missed him a lot and doesn't give him peace. So they have sex once, twice, three times, Adrien is generally insatiable and Kiyan is finally like: Hey you wanna try something different? And Adrien, all excited, of course he wants to. So Kiyan ties him up, gags him, and finally has a moment of peace.

So that was amusing. Basically, extrovert boyfriends are exhausting and like to read symbolism into your attempts to get some peace and quiet 😂.

Thanks again for the ask! These were fun to answer!

#asks answered #zkretchy #baekuras #kiyan #kiyan/adrien #lemon #n/sfw #headcanons #ask game

5 notes · View notes

danzinora-switch · 4 years ago

Text

Typing the Turtles (ROTTMNT) Part 2 - Donatello

This started out as an investigation into the turtles’ insecurities, because one thing the show does so well is demonstrate that they are still teenagers. And being a teenager is a confusing experience - there’s angst, drama, exploring one’s identity, a lot of growth, and overall figuring out who you are. That’s a messy process, too! And we see this mess in our turtles: they mess up, they’re learning, they self-doubt, they have fears and insecurities, but they’re also discovering their strengths and how to overcome their inner obstacles.

So after thinking about all this way too long, here’s my psychological breakdown of each turtle (I’ll be referencing MBTI and the Enneagram, but will include links for more general information on those if you don’t know what I’m talking about).

Donnie: INTJ, 5w6

The Architect, the Investigator, the Problem-Solver, the Observer

Firstly, getting into this analysis means that we have to step away from the stereotype that all INTJs are cold, aloof, and unemotional. INTJs, especially Turbulent ones, do express emotion, and we’ve all seen Donnie’s dramatic ‘theatre kid’ side. I’m not going to ignore that. He manages to be both thanks to the INTJ’s tertiary function Introverted Feeling (Fi). Extroverted Feeling (Fe) really allows one to connect and empathize with others’ emotions. Fi, however, is a more internal experience of feelings, and has trouble connecting with others without having been in their shoes. I happen to think Donnie is in a strong Ni-Fi loop, as well, which would make sense because fighting bad guys every day while trying to save the world after discovering a Mystic City which upbends everything you ever knew is pretty stressful. https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2017/06/21/intjs-loop-understanding-ni-fi-loop/

And it’s super interesting that he often expresses his emotions by literally saying them. “Evil laugh! Relishing chuckle! Gasp!” (Mind Meld) and, one of my favorites, he literally says “Sad face emoji” in Many Unhappy Returns.

So while we DO see Donnie experience and display his own emotions, we also DON’T see him all that affected by other people’s emotions. He’s still pretty stoic in Mystic Mayhem after the delivery guy gets mutated, cracking a joke about imitation crab. He’s unaffected by Todd’s puppies in Repo Mantis, and the only one immune to Warren Stone’s sob story in Warren & Hypno Sitting in a Tree. Pizza Pit shows it best when he’s unaffected when Mikey’s favorite pizza place collapses until the same thing happens to him. Fi at work vs Fe.

As for Donnie being a 5w6, keep this core motivation in mind: “[Fives] Want to possess knowledge, to understand the environment, to have everything figured out as a way of defending the self from threats from the environment.” https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-5

Donnie at his Worst: Donnie vs. Witch Town gave us this gem of a line: “Because I’m the science guy! If mystic powers can do everything I can do, but better, then why would you guys even need me?” And while people have pointed out his need to be needed, I argue it’s a little more accurate to say he has a need to belong. His role in the group is the Brainiac, the Science Guy, the Smart One, and so his very identity is tied into fulfilling that role. A 5’s core fear is of being useless, helpless, or incapable. Mystic powers rendering his tech redundant, and thereby him useless, would be a pretty big threat to the security of his role in the group (that 6 wing kicking in). And remember a 5’s core motivation: to understand the environment as a defense. And he still doesn’t understand mystic energy. It’s pretty infuriating, so he’s pretty insufferable about it.

[Note: seeing mystic power as a threat probably didn’t kick in until their fight with Shredder in Many Unhappy Returns. Prior to that, his brothers were still learning how to use their magic weapons, but Donnie already understood his tech well enough to use it effectively (see their first fight against Baron Draxum in the pilot). But against the Shredder… all his tech was useless. Only the hanky, the hanky, was even marginally effective. His brothers’ weapons were now way more capable than anything he had to offer… core 5 fear. And to cope? Learn all you can about your fear/threat. Except he still hasn’t figured it out; we see even in Air Turtle that he calls Draxum for the mystic expertise instead of formulating his own hypothesis].

We’ve seen this insecurity about his place in the group before. In Mind Meld, as his brothers become more like him, his role is challenged. “Hey, you’re trying to get rid of me, that’s what I do to you!” “But, I thought purple was my... my thing.” When he first meets the Purple Dragon he immediately wants to join them because he sees them as tech peers. In Man vs Sewer even though he professes that it’s his day off, he doesn’t react well whenever Leo does ‘his thing’: analyzing the situation and drawing a conclusion. His self-worth seems to be tied to what he has to offer the group, and we hear that even in his song in The Mystic Library about proving himself.

Besides his insecurity, Donnie is practically allergic to blame. (Interestingly enough, he’s more okay with being wrong and others being right sometimes… sure he’ll deflect, but it doesn’t seem to get under his skin the way being at fault does). He will repeatedly deny fault and shift the blame to someone else when something goes wrong. He denies creating AlBearto in Al Be Back, says the incident with the Purple Dragons in The Purple Jacket is entirely April’s fault (she is not amused) and puts the blame for ditching Todd off on his brothers in Todd Scouts. The one time we see him own up his mistakes is in Mind Meld when no one (except Shelldon) is around to see it. “Yup. I beefed up.” This is definitely an area he needs to work on.

Average Donnie: Donnie cares for his brothers, but that doesn’t always get across in the best of ways. Take the episode Donnie’s Gifts, for example. Donnie never actually got a chance to explain how the gifts work, but we can see protective elements in each of them. Raph: please use your head and don’t just blindly rush in! Mikey: ohmygosh that is so dangerous, please be careful and don’t get hurt! Leo: stop poking the bear, Leo, it only makes him angrier! It makes sense that a 5 who has external fears of the world and has their own protective equipment (the Battle Shells) would extend that to his brothers. And Donnie was able to recognize that even though his brothers got the wrong message, he could move past that and call for a group hug. In the Purple Game he is super anxious to make sure his brothers are okay and not mostly hurt. Insane in the Mama Train also reveals the invention of the Panic Button… and who designed that?

Donnie also seeks a lot of validation. He takes pride in his work, and when his work is appreciated he gives that appreciation back tenfold [such as when he shows off the Turtle Tank to his brothers (Fast and Furriest), or when Splinter says he’s proud of him (Turtle-dega Nights: the Ballad of Rat Man)]. The flip side is that when he’s not getting the validation he needs from others he’ll create it himself, which comes off as arrogant and egocentric. See Smart Lair, when Sheldon 1.0 plays messages of Donnie’s self-worth all night, and is programmed to favor him. Or when he takes full credit for defeating a bad guy: the silverfish in Donnie’s Gifts, and scaring Draxum away with his disco ball in Shadow of Evil. When he gets the recognition for all his hard work from the right people, though, it inspires him to do great things. There is danger in getting validation from the wrong people, however, as we saw in Big Mama’s case in Bug Busters.

Donnie at his Best: Donnie’s at his best (and most relaxed) whenever he’s learning or building something. He gets super excited and happy attending April’s school (The Purple Jacket) or going to the library (The Mystic Library) and wants to attend college someday (The Mutant Menace). The INTJ/5 seeks to absorb information and he’s constantly energized by it.

He’s also energized when he can put that information to use, such as when building something. Did Albearto need a total tear-down in War and Pizza? No. But Donnie had fun making him ‘dazzle!’ How did Donnie cope being in the woods in Todd Scouts? By building an impressive tree fort. Donnie’s projects actually relax him, because he’s exercising his strength and capabilities.

This also works for his method of attacks and plans: Know Thine Enemy. He studies Warren Stone in Newsworthy when they meet him and is the only one who remembers he regenerates by Warren & Hypno Sitting in a Tree. Donnie and Mikey are able to successfully scam Repo Mantis in One Man’s Junk because they know how he thinks. Donnie thwarts everything the Purple Dragons do and can bring Shelldon home because he knows how they operate (The Purple Game, Breaking Purple). He can restore his brothers to their rightful minds in Mind Meld because he knows himself.

Also: music. The fact that one of his Battle Shells has a music mode (Mascot Melee), that he remembers things in song form (The Mystic Library, Donnie vs Witch Town), and that he likes to dance (Stuck on You) is so pure and adorable.

Donnie Relationships:

(while Donnie does see his brothers as dum-dums at times, he admits they’re fun and pretty great to have in Mind Meld)

Raph: We really need a Donnie and Raph episode, but even without one there’s some moments we can look at. I already discussed in Raph’s analysis their general similarities. Donnie doesn’t think Raph always has the brightest ideas, but still has soft moments with him such as giving him $20 at the end of Mind Meld, designing the ‘captain’s chair’ of the Turtle Tank to Raph’s lumbar settings, and appreciating Raph’s pirate accent in Snow Day. They are both protective of their brothers, Raph with his fists and Donnie with his tech. It’s interesting that (I believe) they’re the reverse of each other on the Enneagram: Raph is a 6w5, and Donnie a 5w6. So they both understand the risks involved in what they do (mostly: Donnie still ate poison and Raph still goes on ‘smashcapades’). I really want to see a team-up between them.

Leo: I’m all for the Disaster Twins trope, but to me an episode that epitomizes that isn’t one like Lair Games, where they’re at each other’s throats, but Operation Normal. They’ve apparently done the grandma-getup before. They wind up playing as good cop, bad cop in Fast and Furriest. Sure, one’s high-strung, and one’s laid-back, which can get on each others’ nerves, but there’s also a lot of making up. Brotherly betrayal passes back and forth between them, but never crosses a line. And the numerous times they unconsciously mirror each other can be found with a simple search of the Disaster Twins tag. I’m interested to see more episodes where they work together, even in the background, just because they can get up to wild shenanigans.

Mikey: Mikey’s probably the turtle Donnie most gets along with. They’ve had several episode team-ups: Repo Mantis, One Man’s Junk, Turtle-dega Nights: the Ballad of Rat Man, Breaking Purple, etc. Donnie may be the team academic, but Mikey has strong emotional intelligence. They get along pretty easily, making plans together (One Man’s Junk) and protecting each other (we see Donnie protect Mikey in Repo Mantis and Bug Busters, but we see Mikey protect Donnie by pulling him out of the way in Smart Lair). Donnie helps Mikey focus on the goal at hand, and Mikey helps Donnie communicate better with others. They’re a good team with a pretty solid foundation.

Ultimately, Donnie’s an inventive turtle who wants his brothers to be safe but is still wrestling with a lot of insecurities and unhealthy stress levels. I’m excited to see how he grows into real confidence and utilizes his strengths as an integral member of the team.

For more information on the INTJ and Enneagram 5 personality types, click here:

https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality

https://www.crystalknows.com/enneagram/type-5-wing-6

https://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2016/01/mbti-and-the-enneagram-2/6/

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #donatello #tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #tmnt 2k18 #essay #personality #mbti #myers briggs #enneagram #teenage mutant ninja turtles #INTJ #enneagram 5 #5w6 #i spent way too much time on this #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie

150 notes · View notes

scriptaed · 5 years ago

Text

his side, her side | 9:23 A.M.

genre: angst/fluff/implied smut; (bold = genre for this particular drabble)

pairing: reader x jungkook;

length: 1.8k;

synopsis: a collective snapshots in time shared between two, whose fates were undeniably intertwined and futures would never come to be.

a/n: this is not a chronological series; more so, his side her side is a collection of drabbles in which each drabble helps paint the overall picture. each drabble can be read separately without having read the others. // alternatively: his side, her side pt. 7;

her side;

Jungkook [9:23 A.M.] Happy Birthday!!

You can still recall every fluctuation in the mayhem that he always brought along, particularly on that very hour of your day. A beacon of light had peeked through your curtains and perfectly struck your already-squinting eyes, but it isn’t the sun that has your heart racing like the end of a marathon that marks the start of your special day—rather, it’s the aftermath of its gentle shake that engraves this particular moment amongst the myriad of otherwise mundane, forgetful birthday mornings.

It’s an overly cliche scene straight out of those young adult rom-coms you used to roll your eyes at, yet even you couldn’t remain immune to the flutters of your stomach and the drums of your chest when you awaken to the sight of his name first thing in the morning. You won’t admit it now, but the undeniable stretch of your grin upon reading his message is enough proof to your prideful self that he still manages to evoke an emotional response from you—even after all this time.

A relieved sigh escapes your restricted chest as you prop yourself against the bed frame and dally with the unexpected task at hand. Flipping your phone from palm to palm, you mull over just how blindsided you had been to this incoming text. You had been arranging dinner plans for a girl’s night out in preparation for the one day you get to celebrate your ever-so-slow descent into adulthood and eventual retirement that you hadn’t even paused to anticipate this year’s annual texts from colleagues and classmates you had not heard from since… your last birthday; and even though Jungkook doesn’t exactly fall into that category, for you two had really only connected half a year ago, he was the last person you would have expected to be reminded of today.

Come to think of it, it’s been a while since your mind had stumbled upon the ephemeral memories shared with him, a while since you caught him staring at you in the corner of your eyes, a while since you fidgeted with your hand and contemplated your choices of fight or flight. Ever since your project had ended and your excuses to strike a conversation with your partner dwindled to zero, you had convinced yourself that fate had finally given up on you and is now punishing you for leaving the myriad of granted opportunities to wilt; because you still bumped into him at work from time to time—but after that particular night of a gut-wrenching revelation, your ultimate decision to cut your ties came abruptly.

It was no easy feat, that’s for sure. After having reality slammed before your eyes and accepting that maybe this red string that tied you to him is nothing but a silly fantasy, you had to somehow train yourself to forget everything you’ve come to know in the span of a month. You avoided him at work and on the walk home, you adjusted your daily routine to ensure your paths never crossed with his, you even archived his messages that you once found yourself daydreaming over the endless possibilities now burnt to ashes, until slowly but not certainly, he had become an afterthought.

Yet here he is, just as you’re about to forget him, like an old habit that trickles its way back into your daily routine, you find yourself smiling at the thought of him once again… and after all that has come to light? To be the first person to send you birthday wishes? You can’t help but snort at yourself and him, shaking your head at the naive skips of your heart and the audacity of a man who just doesn’t understand the repercussions of his alluring charm.

Because even if you could no longer feel the same way about him like you did in a fleeting fragment of the past, you would never be able to deny this attractive force of his. He’s different from the others. He’s quiet, aloof, and intimidating, but his reputation can’t hold a candle to the real Jungkook you know. He’s more than the apathetic look he wears more often than not and he’s gentler than the devilish smirk that he adorns when he had witnessed something less than worthy of an arduous, feigned laugh, because the crinkle of his nose when you finally manage to crack a toothy grin on that face is worth every bit of intimidation.

He doesn’t give a shit about what others thought of him because he sticks to his virtues and he treats every guy and gal—lame or popular, average or gorgeous—equally. He says he doesn’t give a shit about the opinions of others’, but he takes careful consideration into the delicate response of those affected by his actions. He does what he does because he believes in doing the right thing and not because he wants those extra points that has you believing in chivalry again.

And all of that still holds true, that is, if the motives you suspect behind his text proves false.

It’s a good thing your birthday came well after you had mostly gotten over whatever thing you had for him—otherwise, you’re sure things would have gone awfully awry today had you not been. You would have been clinging onto that last bit of hope and wondering what it means for him to have remembered your birthday and even go through the effort of sending you a message after all this time apart, but now, knowing what you know about him, you hold your head high with a smile hiding more than he could have ever had.

Two can play at this game.

You [10:12 A.M.] Thanks!! 😊

And for once, it really doesn’t mean anything more than that.

his side;

Notification [9:18 A.M.] Y/N’s birthday is today!

Jungkook had just finished downing his first bottle of today’s many, hoping that his favorite drink, also known as water, would be enough to dilute the distasteful coffee he had willingly subjected himself to soon, when his phone vibrates against the kitchen island. The boy had leaned over the counter and grabbed ahold of his phone fully expecting to internally roll his eyes at social media and its pesky birthday reminders of people he doesn’t know well enough to just casually drop a wish for, but the familiar name that pops onto his screen freezes him in his tracks.

It doesn’t occur to Jungkook how long it’s been since Y/N’s name had taken residence at the top of his notifications. A crooked grin cracks his precedent frown as he recalls the persistent messages Y/N had once bombarded him with in their time together. He can still remember the click of his tongue as he indulged in his cathartic workouts only to be disturbed by the seemingly endless stream of texts and reminders of work. Who would’ve known those memories would be revisited with a tender fondness that has even Jungkook dumbfounded?

It isn’t like he totally forgot about Y/N. After all, out of everyone he’s met at work, she’s been the most peculiar one by far. Although their time was short, the fidgety hands, wavering eyes, and curt responses intertwined with the most giggly of laughs, she always kept him on the edge of his seat, wondering just what was going on in that mind of her’s—particularly when he came into work that one day and nothing was ever the same.

Because some days he would spot her from the top of the stairs and try to greet her from afar only to watch her pivot on the balls of her feet and shuffle in the opposite direction. Sometimes he would bump into her on the way to their cubicles in the morning only to find himself searching for the girl in the following days turned into weeks and months, even. At times, he would even lock eyes with the girl across the hall, waiting for a response and wondering if he had mistaken himself when she passed by without a single greeting.

Sometimes he felt like a ghost, not to the colleagues, not to the world, but to her. He couldn’t quite put the unsettling drop in his chest into words—because it isn’t exactly disappointment nor dejection. It was almost as if she had awoken one day, swept by the winds and the mystical moon, and for whatever reason, decided to sink a ship that had long set sail.

But as Jungkook has come to learn, time flies by quickly, even for a man like himself; because whatever he was feeling, the heightened consideration catered toward her, the amusement he found in whatever she had in the works, the profuse feeling that something was fueling the two and something was inevitably bound to manifest, and the crash of confusion when it all came to an abrupt stop, had faded with each passing week.

Still, even the sight of her name brings a grin to his lips.

Seeing as how Y/N had shot him a birthday wish last time—and being the first and few ones to remember, at that—Jungkook figures it would be rude of him to swipe the notification into the abyss, even if the two had an unexplained, rocky interlude up to this point.

Draft [9:22 A.M.] Happy Birthday

Jungkook cocks his head at the blunt message. Short and to the point, it’s a message he would have sent any other colleague… but seeing the fond birthday wish and gratitude the two had shared just a scroll above his drafts, he finds himself scratching at the task before him.

“Jungkook?” a familiar voice calls from outside his apartment door. “Are you in there? You ready?”

“What? Oh, shit,” he curses when he notices the time on his phone. “Yeah, give me one second!”

You [9:23 A.M.] Happy Birthday!!

The phone is tossed to the side as Jungkook dashes to open the door to a girl who stands before him with a pout and crossed arms. Peering down at his partner, the chuckle that leaves his lips depart along with the thought of what he had left behind.

“Don’t tell me you forgot about our coffee date,” she mutters.

“And what if I did?” he laughs, freezing when he locks the door behind him. “Oh, shit.”

“What? Did you forget something?”

“Oh, uh,” he pauses, contemplating, “it’s nothing. Let’s go.”

He may have forgotten his phone, he may have forgotten having sent a message to someone he no longer held any ties to, but when he returns to the apartment and checks to see a heart next to his message and a reply right under, he would never forget the thought that crosses him in that very moment.

It doesn’t mean anything more than that, right?

#bts scenarios #bts x you #bts x reader #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #jungkook fanfic #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bangtan fanfic #scriptaed

267 notes · View notes

alirhi · 3 years ago

Text

The problem with DJ

Like I said, sweetie gets his own post lol. It's funny how far he's come, from a random side character made just to be killed off, to my go-to RP boy, to my favorite character I've ever written. I'll skip the origin story lol (aka the irrelevant random RPs over the years) and get right to the meat of the problem: Crossroads.

It all really comes back to my flaky friend, A. Back when she was creative and invested, she made this crazy girl, Casey, who DJ fell head-over-heels in love with. Casey was highly toxic and came with some unusual baggage, but that's what I loved about her as a character. And honestly? Every girl in DJ's life is kind of toxic. That was rather the point.

DJ describes himself as "a walking, talking stereotype." He's a broke, drug-addicted teen from the wrong side of the tracks with an abusive alcoholic father. His mother committed suicide when DJ was 4, and DJ's been an addict since he was 13. He's also got ADHD, and he's a genius. Sleeps through the few classes he actually attends and still gets straight As genius. He's got two distinctly different groups of friends: his more straight-laced school friends (most of whom have known him since pre-drug days), and his rave/burnout friends. He's also an indiscriminate (ish XD) manwhore. He'll sleep with literally any girl who shows interest, as long as he's not her first (ties into his lack of self-worth and stuff. he doesn't want anyone to be "stuck with" the memory of him as her first - Casey straight-up lies to his face to get him to fuck her 😂 I love her. she's so awful...)

I eventually gave him a little brother, because I'd never put much thought into why DJ - who, again, is scary smart, and also unnervingly self-aware; pretty much impervious to denial - would do drugs. When he was just a random RP character, I...didn't really care? 😂 His background and motivations were less important than the hijinks he got himself into. But then A fell as hard for him as I did, and we decided to give him a real story, so he needed a real motive. Enter baby brother AJ, who is their father's true target, so DJ does stupid shit to piss dad off and keep those fists flying at him, not baby bro.

When DJ meets Casey, he's drunk and high and accidentally gropes her. She punches him and knocks his ass out lmao. He later apologizes, and she and her twin brother Seamus join DJ's school friend group, and she and DJ become fwb. That's the most he can really offer; DJ doesn't date, because he knows he won't be faithful, so why string a girl along? Naturally, because he's book smart but otherwise kind of a moron (lol not really, just no will to live. he tried to kill himself 3 times before he was introduced to drugs. his friends keep warning him about STDs and he's like "eh, death by karma actually sounds pretty apropos") he ends up getting Casey (and a couple of other girls) pregnant.

One of those other girls is his dealer/rave bestie, Luna. Aside from Casey and her family, here is the biggest divergence between the story A and I worked out together, and the one I'm now writing alone. A hated Luna; she hated anyone who was competition for Casey, because she'd latched so hard onto this DJ/Casey pairing that everything that could have been something for them to overcome, she just saw as a threat that needed to be squashed. So she insisted on killing off not just the baby (Lu was always going to miscarry), but also Luna. Y'all... that hurt. A lot. I adore Luna. I'd sooner kill off DJ (and in fact, there's a version of the story where he ODs and dies, and Casey eventually marries AJ). I did not want to kill Luna. But for the sake of not arguing with A forever, I did, and it became a huge part of the overall story, because DJ was in love with Luna. I saw this as an opportunity to explore poly love. A was just like "fuck that. kill her. want a poly ship? Thow Izzie-" (one of DJ's school friends, Izumi) "-into the mix! Casey likes her!" Gods forbid I wanted a little friction and compromise, people finding common ground and learning to live together. DJ likes Izzie, he does. And Izzie canonically does have a huge crush on him. But she's possessive and catty - just like Casey - and they would have imploded.

When I decided to remove A from the equation, my first impulse was "fuck yeah! I don't have to kill Luna! LUNA STAYS, BITCHES!!!" but like...

Now I have to rework DJ's entire arc, because his crippling grief and guilt over her death drove pretty much the rest of his story.

Anyway, in the old version (with the three phases), in phase 1, DJ got clean, married Casey, and got his shit together. In phase 2, they were gender-swapped (there's a reason for that beyond a god's weird sense of humor lol but I'll get to that in a minute) and DJ went from a mousy drug-addicted pacifist to a deadly cleaner for Casey's Irish mob family. It all ties into which parent (s)he is afraid to reflect. male!DJ is terrified of becoming his father; female!DJ is disgusted by what she sees as her mother's weakness and refuses to be her. So while boy-Deej danced and played drums and never took a swing at anyone even in jest, girl-Deej was a fighter, and a damn angry one. In phase 3, back to being a boy and a druggie, DJ overdoses and dies. And the Goddess who'd been trying to get her hands on him this whole time finally manages it. See, Adaghar (god who gender-swapped DJ and Casey) knew about Larash's (goddess who wanted DJ) obsession, so he was trying to make sure DJ lived a long life and went to literally any afterlife that Larash couldn't reach. She finally gets him, and through a series of odd events, he ends up killing Adaghar and taking his place, becoming a god.

That's all gone. 😂 Now DJ's just DJ, no grand destiny or anything, just a kid with an awful home life who needs to clean his act up and do right by his kids. Honestly, that's enough imo. I still adore him and can't wait to get his story done so I can read it... but I'm totally stuck. I don't know how his story ends anymore. I know he can't end up with Luna even if she's alive because they'll end up strung out and on welfare for the rest of their short, painful lives. They are deeply, deeply in love with each other, but they're both tortured addicts and Luna has zero self control. Neither of them will ever get clean if they're together.

And like... that's not even getting into all the craziness with DJ's oldest son, Ari. Ari had different versions, too - one where DJ had no idea he existed until he was about 7 (and had gone through some shit, poor kid) and showed up on daddy's doorstep; that version grew to be an angry, snarky little shit and I love him to pieces. Then there's a version where DJ found him when he was 2 and cleaned his act up and Ari grew into a happy, well-adjusted kid. And obviously in the girl-DJ version, she, y'know, gave birth to him lmao so she knew about him. But Ari had this whole arc with a vampire and he moved to Achlys in one version, and in another (the one where DJ died) he was adopted by AJ and Casey and became a doctor, and... ugh. I love this kid. And now everything about him is a big question mark, even more so than DJ cuz - guess what? the vampire was A's character, too! 🙄😖

Blargh. I dunno, guys. I don't know what to do with this whole thing.

#writer problems #rant #dj gallagher #halp

3 notes · View notes

anonymouslyangsty · 4 years ago

Text

Okay so I adore Kazuichi Soda, but GOD do I feel like his character is wasted somewhat in game??? I really wish he had more of an ark

(Warning, I’m going to ramble like a himbo about my Sodapop son below. It’s...way to long and has spoilers)

So, Kaz’s whole character backstory is that he was a nerdy, shy kid who got pushed around by his ‘friends’. He got in trouble for helping a friend cheat on a test, but he wasn’t upset when said friend threw him under the bus. He only got upset when that friend stopped talking to him after, which in turn encouraged him to distrust others and change his behavior and appearance to appear tough.

What I get from this is that Kaz puts on a fragile act to look tough, has a hard time trusting others, and has rather low self esteem. He acts like a punk, but the second someone attacks him, verbally or otherwise, he crumbles and cowers.

That all being said, I don’t feel that these traits are properly handled or addressed in the game

Firstly, the whole Sonia obsession. I think it makes sense from a few perspectives. In one option, Soda could see Sonia, being a princess, as above ‘normal’ people, thus making her an object of his affections. Option B is that he doesn’t REALLY obsess with Sonia that hard, but because he wants to look cool, he pretends to like her so he can fit in with what he thinks dudes are like.

Whatever option we go with, it’s clear that Soda has a very shallow ‘love’ for Sonia, only really liking her for her title and appearance. Whenever she expresses the darker sides of her personality (love of the occult and serial killers), Kaz always tries to divert attention from or ignore it. He doesn’t love her as a person, but as a figure.

The shallowness of his love is coupled with her total devotion to her. Kaz makes the exact same mistake he did with his friend: he trusts Sonia irrationally, incapable of seeing any fault in her whatsoever. So, whenever she’s put into question, he jumps at her aid, trusting her regardless of any evidence.

This also means that he’s incapable of seeing how uninterested she is in him. She never bluntly says it, but it’s clear that Sonia, at the very least, vaguely dislikes Kaz. She straight up hopes that he’s the killer in chapter 4.

But again, just like with his friend, Kaz brushes it off as nothing. Sonia could do anything to him but, as long as he has her ‘companionship’ (or the illusion of it), he’s fine. This is clearly a terribly unhealthy mentality for a relationship, as Sonia gets idolized to an uncomfortable degree and Soda leaves himself open to any level of abuse as long as he thinks he’s accepted.

Kaz is repeating the same mistake from his backstory, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. The bad part is the fact that it’s never addressed.

Sonia never tells Soda to stop, nor does anyone ever highlight the fact that Soda doesn’t really love her. He is constantly following her, but probably couldn’t say 10 things about her personality. If that WAS addressed, it could be used to show Soda that he isn’t going to make connections to people by keeping up his “cool, thirsty bro” persona, but instead by being genuine and kind, which is more align with his true personality. Honestly, I was expecting this to happen after chapter 4 but nope.

Another option, darker this time, is that Soda could find himself betrayed again. It would makes sense thematically; Kaz repeats the same mistake of blind trust, and is thus betrayed again. Maybe Sonia tries to kill someone, betraying the ideal pedestal Kaz places her on. Maybe she frames HIM for murder in an attempt to save Gundham.

Slight tangent here, but I really like the idea of a worst case scenario where Soda’s failure to learn from the past gets him killed (TLDR for the tangent, as if this whole thing doesn’t need a TLDR: Sonia and Kaz pull a DR1 first murder, but Kaz legit acts in self defense).

Let’s say that, instead of the funhouse, chapter 4 gives motivation videos regarding everyone’s home. Of course, Sonia’s is about how her kingdom is falling into shambles. Extremely stressed, she locks herself in her room for several days. She eventually decides that, to save her kingdom, she has to sacrifice everything, even her morality. She decides to kill.

So, Sonia goes after the easiest target: Soda. Because of his blind faith in her, Soda wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever she asked. So Sonia asks him to meet her in some secluded area, perhaps the abandoned warehouse from chapter 1, sometime late at night.

Soda agrees to this blindly because he can’t EVER believe that Miss Sonia would ever do wrong. However, when he arrives, she attacks him, perhaps stabbing him in the shoulder. I know this is probably slightly underestimating Sonia, as she is trained in weaponry and could probably kill Kaz in one blow, but let’s say she’s so distressed that she doesn’t fatally would him.

Of course, there’s a struggle because, as much as Kaz obsesses over her, he’s not going to let Sonia murder him. She eventually backs him into a corner but, before she can kill him, he knocks her out with a wrench or something (he’s already established to carry one around because it comforts him, so it makes sense that he’d have it)

So now Kaz is alone, bleeding in an abandoned building with an unconscious woman at his feet. That would be a good point to wake everyone up and say what happens, but here’s where Kaz’s personality comes to bite him again. He still has faith in Sonia despite everything, unable to see her faults despite her having literally tried to kill him

So, his first priority is covering up HER crime. He hides the evidence of the attack as best as he can (which probably isn’t well given his panic and his wound). Then, he takes Sonia and carries her back to her room. He probably ties her up so she doesn’t her anyone else or herself when she wakes up.

The next morning, Sonia isn’t at breakfast. Given that she’d locked herself in her room for several days, it wouldn’t be suspicious. Not wanting her to stay tied up, Soda offers to take breakfast to her. Once there, he wants to talk to her and calm her down, before letting her go and never telling anyone what happened.

However, you can’t just knock someone over the head and think they’re fine. That kind of kills people, and Soda soon learns that. When he gets into Sonia’s room, he finds her still tied up, dead.

Kaz is a coward, but is shown to be kind at heard. So, while I don’t think he’d be brave enough to confess, I don’t think he’d be willing to kill everyone else. Perhaps he’d try to kill himself before the trial to spare himself from execution. However, Nagito stops him. Nagito convinces Soda to cling onto the hope that he ISN’T the killer, and instead someone came to Sonia afterwards and killed her. It’s farfetched, but given his mental state, Kaz would buy it.

This all creates something I’ve always wanted in DR: an innocent blackened. Soda acted in self defense and had no intention to kill. In the trial, he wouldn’t be hiding info in an attempt to trick everyone, but in misplaced hope that he ISN’T the killer.

Not only that, but this outcome really highlights the error of Soda’s mentality. Because he so blindly trusted Sonia, he was easily tricked by her. Because his self esteem is so bad, he doesn’t even get mad when she tries to kill him, instead hiding HER crime. Perhaps, if he’d gotten upset and ratted her out, she could’ve gotten some kind of medical attention and been saved. Instead, Kaz bent over backwards for her, leading to their deaths.

That was a long tangent, but the point is, I want Kaz’s failure to learn from past mistakes to be addressed, either by him growing past it or being punished for it. Nether happens though. The Sonia obsession continues throughout the ENTIRE game, with it never being addressed as a problem. It’s really strange thematically and character wise, as addressing it could’ve given both characters good development.

Moving on from Sonia somewhat, I HATE Kaz’s character ark, as he doesn’t evolve, but devolves. The source of Kaz’s problems is lis low self esteem. If he cared about himself more, he wouldn’t have accepted poor treatment from his friends in exchange for their companionship. He wouldn’t have changed his appearance and personality because he thought he was unlikable and boring.

Despite that however, in the end, the lesson he learns is to trust people again. That’s not a BAD lesson, but it doesn’t solve the problem. His self esteem is still nearly nothing; by once again falling into the idea that he has to trust his friends nonmatter what, he’s setting himself up to be used again (I’m not saying anyone in the DR2 cast WOULD do that, but the possibility remains.)

By trusting again without gaining self esteem, Kaz somewhat goes pack to step one. His ark really shoud have been about trusting and loving HIMSELF before he trusts and loves others. Kaz needs to realize that he doesn’t need to put on a tough act to make friends, as anyone who requires a tough act to like him isn’t his friend at all. He needs to realize that he deserves good treatment, and someone being your friend doesn’t justify cruel behavior towards you.

But! He never learns that!!! He just goes right back to trusting without considering his self worth. That...really isn’t healthy and I wish it was addressed in his ark.

Another thing: why doesn’t Kaz have any dead friends? The entire surviving DR2 cast has someone who they were close to that died, Akane and Nekomaru, Fuyu and Peko, Hajime and Chiaki, Sonia and Gundham. It’s strange that everyone BUT Kaz has a close relationship with someone who dies in game.

Why not make Kaz friends with Mikan? I feel like they have a bit in canon, with both being anxious and prone to being bullied. I feel like a friendship between those two could be used to show Kaz’s more genuine personality. It’d be a chance to show that he isn’t CONSTANTLY thirsty over girls, that he can talk to Mikan without a hint of lust. Instead, they could just be friends, finding comfort in the fact that there’s someone else who’s just as terrified as they are.

Also, this relationship could be used to both mess with Kaz AND make another parallel to DR1. Make Mikan frame Kaz for the killing, just like Celeste with Hiro. This would not only be super interesting, but also a MASSIVE blow to Kaz’s ability to trust, which is already terrible. Also again, I just feel like Kaz’s anxiety is used for comic relief too often. I want this boy to straight up have a panic attack in trial. Destroy him with fear.

So uh, yeah. I feel like Kaz’s depth is sacrificed for the sake of comic relief. He could’ve been so much more, but he isn’t and it’s a shame. Also, if you read this whole thing, then you must be just as obsessed with Kaz as I am. So, send me some good Kaz fics! It is SO HARD to find a fic that focuses on Kaz instead of Nagito. Do it.

#why did I write a NOVEL?????#IM SORRY I GOT IN THE ZONE #watch out i may do the same thing with Taka #dont test me #i just have feelings about this boy #kazuichi soda #Danganronpa

14 notes · View notes

angelofthequeers · 5 years ago

Note

If canon!Luka is too much of a blank slate, and fanon!Luka is basically Adrien-lite, what would you fo if you had to fix his character? Not a stan or anything like that, I agree with you on Luka, it's just I saw many posts like like yours about him but not a single one that said: "This is what I would do if I had to give him depth:", please correct me if I'm wrong and just didn't look hard enough. (I'm on mobile and English isn't my native language, please be gentle (._.))

Just have him not revolve around Marinette. That’s literally it. More detail and an analysis of a few scenes below the cut, because that’s the simple answer to your question but I have to go in-depth to really explain where I’m coming from. And your English is just fine! I’ll kick the kneecaps of anyone who makes fun of you for it, because heck if I can speak anything other than English. All the quotes I use are from the transcripts on this site here.

Luka’s got a few basic traits and some hints of flaws but because his screen time revolves solely around his love interest - with the exception of that one scene in ‘Reflekdoll’ with Juleka - they haven’t been developed nearly as much as they could have been, and so we haven’t seen him developing independently of Marinette because any character development is tied directly to her. For example, it could be a double-edged flaw slash core personality trait that he doesn’t get too angry on behalf of himself but he gets furious when someone he loves is threatened. It would be a nice parallel to Adrien and serve to further show how they’re foils. But since we’ve only seen him getting angry on behalf of Marinette, it’s not nearly as fleshed-out a trait as it could have been. If we’d even had just one scene of him reacting to Juleka’s akumatisation, it would’ve expanded him so much further than as just a love interest.

Whether Kagami is objectively more developed is an argument I don’t want to get into, even if I’m going to analyse her below, but she definitely comes across as a lot more fleshed out because she doesn’t exist to revolve around Adrien. Her debut episode involves Adrien but isn’t focused on him and her (first) akumatisation isn’t due to her role as Adrien’s love interest, whereas Luka’s akumatisation episode focused very pointedly on his role as Marinette’s love interest. He only got mad enough to attract an akuma once Bob Roth threatened Marinette, not when the music of his entire band was threatened - because it’s not just him in Kitty Section, and one of the other members is his sister. I can quote the scene and put bold emphasis on how his anger only really flares when it’s Marinette he’s talking about.

Luka: That’s not true! You copied Marinette’s costumes!

Marinette: And it’s the exact same song. You stole Luka’s music!

XY: Oh, come on. Let’s not exaggerate now. We may have just been a little bit… inspired, that’s all.

Luka: Inspired? You flat out stole! You didn’t design this mask! (rips mask from XY’s head) Marinette did!

Marinette: Listen, it’s not too late to do the right thing. Just tell the truth and let Kitty Section appear on the show. That’s all we’re asking.

Bob: Yeah. First they’ll wanna be in the show. Then they’ll be asking for a cut of the profits. No way! Never saw or heard of Kitten Division.

Luka: Forget it, Marinette. It’s no big deal. Let’s just go.

Marinette: No! It’s not fair! I won’t stand by and let my friends’ work get stolen. (to Bob) If you won’t tell the truth, then I will! Right now, on the air, live! (walks up to the camera)

Bob: (grabs Marinette’s arm) If you do that, I’ll tell them you’re the copycats, not me. I’ve got all the music biz eating out of my hand. So who do you think they’re gonna believe? Me, or a group of nobodies?

Luka: Grrr…

Bob: You’ll never have a future in this business. You’ll never make another costume. And there’ll be no more music for your buddies because as far as everyone’s concerned, you’ll be the rip-off artists.

Luka: Grrr…

(The akuma enters the mask Luka is holding)

(’Silencer’)

Luka’s primary concern in this scene is that Marinette was cheated. Marinette is the one bringing up Kitty Section and how their music was stolen, but Luka is laser-focused on how Marinette’s designs were stolen. Even when they first see the stolen music video as a group, he’s focused on Marinette.

Ivan: But that’s our original style!

Luka: (to Marinette) Your unicorn, and your mask!

Marinette: (to Luka) That’s your melody. (to Rose) It’s your music. That’s not fair! That should be you guys up there on TV. There better be a good explanation. We have to have it out with Bob Roth and XY.

Again, Marinette is the one to bring up how Kitty Section was cheated. Marinette and Ivan. And again, Luka was focused on how Marinette was cheated. This episode could have been a great way to flesh out Luka, to show his dedication to his band and his furious desire to protect his loved ones, but it ends up being just a whole 22 minutes of him revolving around Marinette. This is literally the episode of him being The Perfect Boyfriend, for people to project their ideals onto and squee about how he’s so perfect and romantic for Marinette. Leaving out that Adrien and, arguably, Chat haven’t needed flowery speeches and a laser focus on only Marinette/Ladybug to win her heart, and she constantly goes back to him whereas, like I mentioned in my last post about Luka, she seems to kind of just…blush and then move on from Luka’s confession.

Now let’s compare the scene before Kagami’s akumatisation and bold her focus:

Kagami: (She sighs in defeat, then walks up to Adrien, offering her hand for a shake, which Adrien takes. Kagami calmly walks out of the room.)

Adrien: I’m going to offer him a decisive match. (He goes running after Kagami, grabbing her saber from the ground as he goes. Kagami is about to get into her car when Adrien catches up to her) Hey! Wait! Your saber!

(Kagami throws her glove into the car and removes her helmet, turning to look at Adrien expectantly. As she does so, Marinette runs up to the school entrance.)

Adrien: (Momentarily stunned by her appearance.) Let’s do a… decisive match? (As he speaks, he notices Kagami’s ring.)

Kagami: What’s the point? You won. There’s no such thing as a second chance in my family. Goodbye. (She gets into her car, which drives off.)

Kagami’s mother’s: (Voicemail) I’m not available at the moment. Leave a message. (Beep!)

Kagami: Mother, you thought I was good enough, but… I lost. I won’t be joining the D'Argencourt Academy. (she hangs up and sits back in her seat. The akuma flies into her ring.)

Hawk Moth: Riposte! I am Hawk Moth. I’m giving you a second chance to prove that you are the best fencer of all, but in return, you must bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous.

Kagami: On my honor, Hawk Moth, I shall be victorious! (She transforms into Riposte, slicing open a new sun roof into her car and leaving.)

(’Riposte’)

Even the locations of the akumas give that little extra boost of characterisation. Kagami’s is in her ring, showing the audience that her drive is to be the best and make the Tsurugi family proud and she and her mother don’t tolerate failure, because they stake their honour on success. Luka’s is in the mask that Marinette made, which just shows that…he’s angry because Marinette was wronged. And yes, Hawkmoth’s speech includes the line of “The anger of a creator whose work has been stolen” but considering that every bit of Luka’s anger up to this point has been focused on Marinette, it just…rings hollow. The Lukanette stans noticed this too, but they took it as a positive and used it to shout about how much Luka loved Marinette and how sweet it was that she was the reason he was akumatised - and believe me, I used to be there, I’ve seen it.

And yes, I know that ‘Oni-Chan’ exists. I know that Kagami’s reason for akumatisation revolved around Adrien and that her akumatised object was the rose that he gave her. But I’m focusing on debut akumas and even then, it shows that there’s a jealous, possessive side to her. It works with her previous appearances to round her out, to show that she’s driven and ambitious but also jealous and possessive. ‘Ikari Gozen’ takes this even further and shows that she’s awkward and wants to make friends but doesn’t know how to interact with other people, and it furthers her focus on honour and worthiness and shows that she ties her self-worth with her success:

Hawk Moth: How tragic it is to feel unloved. Alone, deprived of friendship. (turns a butterfly into an akuma) Fly away, my little akuma, and evilise her!

Kagami: I guess I’m not worthy of our friendship; our bloodtypes must be too incompatible.

(’Ikari Gozen’)

Although each episode that she’s in does feel like a totally different portrayal of her, and a lot of criticism/dislike for her came from how she felt all over the place, they’ve also come back together to tie her together as a multifaceted character: someone who’s ambitious and must be the best (’Riposte’), who sees romance as a competition like she does fencing (the whole “change your target” to Adrien and “I never hesitate” to Marinette in ‘Frozer’ and her admission that she has to win Adrien’s heart in ‘Heart Hunter’) - which further adds to her lack of ability to navigate social situations that’s expanded upon in ‘Ikari Gozen’, an episode that also emphasises her fatal flaw of never hesitating. Yes, she’s right to say that hesitation can cost you, but this episode shows that some hesitation is necessary, and jumping into things without thinking and expecting everyone else to do so will definitely lead to some stumbles.

Every time Luka’s on the screen, I don’t really learn anything new about him. All I know is that he’s romantic and likes Marinette and only gets angry on behalf of his loved ones. His first meeting with Marinette focused on how he found her cute and how she was flustered, whereas Kagami’s first meeting with Adrien wasn’t focused on the Adrigami ship outside of Adrien’s Pink Bubble Love Stupor. And first meetings tend to set the tone of how characters are going to interact. Marinette/Adrien and Marinette/Kagami’s first meetings focused on misjudgement and how someone’s impression of another person isn’t necessarily correct, and we see this with how Marinette goes gaga over Adrien and has her moments of seeing him as a perfect Greek god (which isn’t to say that she worships him like a fangirl, but rather that her crush is acting as major rose-tinted glasses) and how she blows Kagami up as an evil villain in her mind until she pops her own bubble and makes herself see Kagami as another person instead of an evil rival. And Ladybug/Chat Noir’s first meeting focused on having to build a partnership on the spot and showed how Chat didn’t fall for her until after she’d stood up to Hawkmoth and declared that they would protect Paris. But Marinette/Luka’s first meeting shows that Marinette gets flustered around pretty boys and Luka just…up and decided that he liked her. It shows that Luka’s focus is going to be Marinette and that’s it.

I’ll cut Luka a little slack and admit that yes, ‘Desperada’ did have him become Viperion because “Desperada attacked my friends and my family”, just as Kagami became Ryuuko to save her mother, and this scene wasn’t specifically focused on how Marinette and only Marinette might have been affected. But the starting scene of the episode once more shows us something else about Kagami - that she’s got a mischievous side and is starting to be rebellious and sneak around behind Tomoe’s back - while showing us nothing about Luka except that he’s…got a crush on Marinette, which appears to be reciprocated, and that he’s good at guitar. Which we already knew.

Marinette: You’re so talented, Luka. How long have you been playing for?

Luka: Since I was in diapers. (strums guitar)(Marinette giggles.)

Alix: I get the feeling Marinette likes Luka a lot.

Alix: Your father let you out?!

Adrien: We’re officially at fencing practice right now, but - oh, no, Kagami. Isn’t this the wrong address?

Kagami: Oh, dear, I think you’re right.(Adrien and Kagami chuckle.)

(’Desperada’)

Even the ending scenes of Luka and Kagami’s debut episodes set the tone for them. In Luka’s debut of ‘Captain Hardrock’, the ending is focused on his role as Marinette’s new love interest and as a rival of Adrien’s, even if they don’t actually see each other as rivals.

Adrien: Thanks, uh…

Luka: Luka.

Adrien: Thanks, Luka.

Alya: (To Marinette): Is the compass going crazy?

(’Captain Hardrock’)

On the other hand, Kagami’s debut episode ending focuses on how she craves friends and would love to get to know a friend of Adrien’s, along with her competitiveness and desire to win in a now-friendly rivalry that grows into a friendship and then romance, rather than love at first sight. Just like the meetings between Marinette/Adrien and Ladybug/Chat Noir, it sets the scene and promises more to come, rather than laying all the cards on the table and basically just stating “yeah, this character’s just gonna be a love interest and just be chill and co-exist with their love rival” like the Marinette/Luka and Adrien/Luka ones do.

Adrien: Please, take it. (He again holds out Kagami’s saber to her.)

Kagami: (She glances between Adrien and her saber for a moment before taking it back) I’ll be happy to get to know your friend Marinette! (She and Adrien bow to each other. She and Adrien look at each other for a moment before Adrien holds out his hand.)

Adrien: My name’s Adrien. What’s yours?

Kagami: Kagami. (She takes Adrien’s proffered hand and shakes it, then walks to her car. She looks back at Adrien.) Get ready for that decisive match!

Adrien: I can’t wait, Kagami.

So basically, to give him depth, I wouldn’t focus so much on his guitar. I’d maybe show someone getting annoyed that he defaults to his guitar, because we got one line in ‘Captain Hardrock’ that he finds it easier to speak through music but it doesn’t really flesh him out since no one else comments on it or gets annoyed by it. It’s a trait that’s got nothing else to work off, whereas Kagami’s awkward attempts to socialise with Marinette and her abrasive manner clash with Marinette’s misconceptions of her and create that scene in ‘Ikari Gozen’ where Marinette realises that she’s treated Kagami awfully and Kagami said that she wasn’t worthy of Marinette’s friendship. Like Luka’s guitar, Kagami’s awkwardness and bluntness aren’t inherently a flaw, but they act as one in certain circumstances and end up fleshing her out just that little bit more.

I’d focus a little more on his relationships with everyone else. At least with Kagami, we know that she’s awkward and has no friends outside of Adrien (and later Marinette), so it makes sense that she wouldn’t have very many other relationships. We’ve even seen her relationship with her mother and how her few friendships - Adrien and Marinette - are influencing her to change and become more rebellious, such as the escape scene in ‘Heart Hunter’. I’m not counting Instagram posts, otherwise I’d point out Kagami spending time with Marinette’s friends as well and bonding with them as more evidence. But Luka’s part of a band and canonically hangs out with Marinette and her friends, so to break him free of just being a satellite love interest to orbit around Marinette, just show him interacting with others independent of Marinette. Show more of him being a big brother to Juleka; show how he interacts with Rose, as Juleka’s best friend; show the relationship between him and his mother, because they seem to be more like house(boat)mates at this point, and Anarka and Tomoe have had roughly the same amount of screen time, especially with their kids.

I’d also make him a little more of a rival to Adrien. He doesn’t have to be mean and antagonistic like how the Marinette/Kagami rivalry started - a rivalry doesn’t necessarily have to be negative - but he does have to show some reaction to losing Marinette to Adrien. All he ever does is push her into Adrien’s arms, which is all well and good to show how selfless he is, but he’s never visibly upset. His smile never wavers. He never shows any sign of being upset at losing the girl he supposedly loves to someone else; he’s basically just The Perfect Boyfriend who’s willing to let Marinette go if it means her happiness with no hurt feelings on his part, and the only force of rivalry that he exerts on Adrien is just making Adrien think that Marinette’s into him and therefore isn’t available, which isn’t even anything that Luka himself does, so I can’t even give that credit to him. He just…exists. While Marinette pushes Adrien and Kagami together for Adrien’s happiness, she shows outward signs of distress. She still gets jealous even though this is a decision she made. She’s sad over it. She’s human. But Luka? You could probably replace him with a pot plant and nothing would change.

#miraculous ladybug #ml analysis #luka couffaine #luka salt #anti lukanette #anti-lukanette #ask #aotq babbles #if only this essay was for university #I got it done in like an hour flat lmao

133 notes · View notes

better-every-day · 3 years ago

Text

An Addiction

What is the best thing to do right now? Stop talking to each other to help us both move on? Keep showing him that I can be the girl he wants me to be because I want that too? I don't know if there is a right answer....but either one, I hope one day it leads back to him.

I don't know what is right. All I know is that i’m having a really hard time letting him go. The moment I first saw him was something i’ve never experienced with anyone else. Any instant attraction. An instant want. Beyond just sexual. He had something inside him that made him the most desirable person in the world to me. I still think he is. When people ask who my celebrity crush is and all that, I have a hard time coming up with an answer because nobody beats him. I dare you to try and find that in someone. Just TRY.

We have our ups and downs in our relationships, that is for sure. The lows can be low but the highs are so fucking high that I'm in space. He brings out a side of me that I never knew I had. A passionate, goal driven side that becomes selfish sometimes. I get lost in trying to become what I want to become or achieve the goal that I forget to acknowledge the person who helped me see it clearly and push me to be my best self.

No one knows that its like to have our love. I see my friends love and its nothing. Nothing compared to what we have. Its intense yet friendly, passionate yet dreamingly secure. I would die for him. He would die for me. We would hinder ourselves to make the other better because we know it would be worth it in the end. Just as long as we don't lose sight of who we are as individuals. This is where I didn't do my part. I took him for granted and got so used to making myself better that I forgot about his needs and wants on the way. I became selfish.

Now that he's gone, I see things clearly. I see how I should have treated him and how he deserves all the praise in the world. I wish I had shown him more how truly loved and appreciated he was by me. But that doesn't mean it can't be fixed. It has to be fixable. This love is rare, I can feel it. He warms my body to my core when I’m with him and when we fight, I turn ice cold. I get a lump in my throat, my stomach feels like its tied into a thousand knots. I feel like I'm going to throw up. But when I'm with, theres not a feeling int he world that could trump it. I feel invincible with him by my side. I want him to feel that too. I can fix that.

This weekend Casey used the word “toxic” to describe my relationship based on the way that we still talk even when we are broken up. That made my blood boil. I lashed out. I told her she had no idea about my relationship and what it entails and maybe one day she will be lucky enough to feel an ounce of what ive felt with boson. I doubt it. I doubt a lot of people will. Anyone really.

Have you ever met someone who totally changed your life? Just came in and flipped it upside down? That was boson for me. In the best way possible. I love his motivation, his innate desire to be BETTER. Its addicting to be around and I am completely addicted to him. He makes me feel incredibly loved, seen, heard, and everything in-between. I know people always say after a break up that they won't find another guy like this one (usually they are wrong) but I seriously doubt I will meet anyone like him again. That instant connection, instant desire to want to learn to be more like him. If you don't admire the person you love most then whats the point? Find someone you want to be like and STRIVE to let go of your ego and admit you like qualities in other people. He taught me that. He’s taught me most of my core valuable in life thus far.

But the reality is, I need to show him how loved and admired he really is. How many sacrifices can be made for him. How he always comes first, no matter what. Not other peoples opinion, not obligations, not other peoples feelings, but him. When we spoke the other night on the phone, it was like the first time. If space can give us that back then that's what we need to do. I need him, and I’ll do anything for him. Even if that means losing him for some time. But I know our love and I'm confident we will find each other again. I know it, this is too special to let go.

1 note · View note

hey-hamlet · 5 years ago

Text

BNHA AU Ideas: Alleycat

Also on AO3!

TL;DR:

The story of the Erasure villain: Alley Cat and his heroic kittens. Aizawa, a rather nomadic villain, accidentally acquires two teenagers and a four-year-old. It's not the most conventional family, but it'll do.

villain aizawa: hes incredibly brutal and efficient, kind of an antihero type. he shuts down some things the heroes dont see, patrols the sketchy areas, looks out for children

he kinda,,, accidentally adopted some children

shinsou and izuku were runaways from a terrible foster home that tracked down the 'villain' alleycat and basically said

"are we worth anything to anyone?" and aizawa sees these kids hurt by heroics and takes them under his wing

eri is a kid izuku stumbled upon while out with shinsou before they met aizawa, and izuku basically adopted her straight out, came back to shinsou like "hi we have a little sister now" they are like 12, eri is 4

so aizawa accidentally gets 2 teens and a lil kid and he finds out they lowkey wanna be villains like him bc they wanna help and heroes dont help people like them. aizawa's heart breaks bc he doesn't want these kids to have the life he's had, so he promises to train hitoshi and izuku only if they try for the hero course

they agree. a villain begins to train heroes to enter the very thing that hurt them, with hopes of changing it from the inside out

ok also: in this au whatever horrible thing happened to shirakumo,,,, didnt. and he's 1A's homeroom teacher. hes bright, bubbly and cheerful, with the same expulsion rate aizawa has

so, shirakumo's hero name is cloud nine, hizashi's is feedback, not present mic. they both think aizawa is dead, and separately have to deal with the villain 'alleycat' as his territory intersects w ua's zone

aizawa, as alleycat, is a lot gentler to shirakumo and hizashi, more polite when speaking to them, less brutal with his takedowns. hizashi notices, but says nothing

hitoshi and izuku, with their baby sister eri, end up living with aizawa, training to be heroes to improve them fucked up society that taught them they were worthless in the first place

he takes them on parkour routes in the early morning, teaches them how to disarm people with knives, to use an opponents size against them.

izuku hones his ability to analyse, hitoshi learns how to push peoples buttons. there is no such thing as a fair fight for them. they break each others noses, chip a tooth or two, get black eyes. there are no hard feelings, they are together through everything

the 4 of them live pretty rough, only on what aizawa can get as a villain/working day shifts in a dodgy bar. aizawa pretends to be their dad for anything legal, says they had two different mothers. it works, somehow.

Some minor cosmetic changes:

Izuku, Hitoshi and Eri all dye their hair black. It started as them quietly wanting to look like their ‘dad’ for sentimental reasons, but they quickly worked out that it made the lie a lot easier for others to swallow.

They all take the surname Aizawa

Eri’s hair is cut into a messy bob – she loves getting Izuku to give her pigtails with the little sparkly hair ties Shouta stole for her. Izuku’s hair is shorter at the back and longer at the front, obscuring his eyes a bit. Hitoshi’s hair is shoulder length and growing, he ties it back in a low bun.

All three of the kids have scars. Eri’s are like canon but a less extreme because her quirk only just showed up. Izuku and Hitoshi have some from bullies, horrible foster parents and reckless sparing. Izuku has a few more little ones because he developed his not-dad’s love of cats and is unafraid of getting bitten – on top of his lack of self-preservation.

they go to aldera middle school, bakugo is still a little shit. to be honest, izuku hates it the most when bakugo burns his uniform - they cant afford to buy extra. there have been a few weeks hes just had to where shinsou's spare and roll the sleeves up

izuku and shinsou have a bit of a spat the afternoon of the sludge villain. it's nothing either of them remembers in a weeks time, but it means shinsou leaves school first, without izuku

bakugo corners him, notebook, allmight, etc

izuku has to ask

all might says no

izuku crumbles, such a dramatic shift from the calm but nice boy he'd been before. you can see the moment his heart breaks. all might feels terrible, but izuku has jumped down the fire escape before he can say anything.

to be honest, izuku is moments away from a full-fledged breakdown. He shoots shinsou a quick text about the villain, but pauses when he hears explosions. He knows the chances its Katsuki are tiny but he’s never been a lucky guy, so he runs towards them

basically the rest of the episode plays out like canon, izuku goes home and meets with his whole ass family panicking because he sent a vague text about a villain then was totally AWOL for 2 hours

hitoshi hugs him really tight while aizawa mumbles something about a tracking chip.

Izuku tells hitoshi about all might, but just tells aizawa vaguely that hes getting a quirk, no he isn’t in any danger, yes he’ll be safe, no he can’t tell you how.

Izuku and Hitoshi both pass the entrance exam with a mix of hero and villain points.

Izuku still doesn’t his whole bone breaky routine but he also manages to take out a few robots by himself before that. He ends up with the highest score.

Hitoshi takes out a few more robots but spends a fair bit of time pushing people out of the way of robots, yelling at people to be more careful about the others around them, and controlling people to get them out of the way of debris. He gets into the top 10.

Nezu is very very interested in the two ‘brothers’ with very different quirks that both did so well. He resolves to keep and eye on them.

Shirakumo is a riot as a teacher but boy is he stressful to be in a class with. The first insult out of Bakugo’s mouth and hes kicked him out of his class, telling him to try class B or get out of the school. (Blood King takes him. Bakugo is a little less horrible to izuku, at least where others can see)

Izukus having a quiet panic attack because Bakugo is going to kill him, and Hitoshi is caught between respecting the balls on their teacher and being pissed at the guy for putting izuku in a terrible position.

No quirk test, they do actually go see the opening ceremony. Hizashi and Shirakumo chat in sign while the principal’s speech drags on. Hitoshi and Izuku watch on, trying not to laugh when they start signing that they want to go to sleep.

Then they do the quirk test bc shirakumo’s a bastard. They end the day with Bakugo kicked out and Hagekure hanging onto her place by a thread. Izuku and Hitoshi come 4th and 5th respectively, despite not being able to use their quirks in the test. Shirakumo is interested.

Skipping to the interesting bits:

The USJ is just as terrible as canon, with the added fact that some of the thugs totally recognise izuku and hitoshi. Izuku works out how to use one for all at 1% during the attack. Hitoshi ends up with a scar on his eyebrow from a person with a claw quirk, Izuku gets a broken arm. Hitoshi sees all might in his skinny form for the first time and is suitably surprized

The sports festival goes a lot like canon in the first round, the second round features a team-up of just Hitoshi as the horse and Izuku as the rider bc they are so used to working with each other they felt it’d be more trouble to have extra team members. They arent exactly wrong and that round ends with them still in control of the 1’000’000 points band – along with a fair few teams just sitting on the sidelines with no idea how they got there.

Tournament round has izuku fighting Todoroki in the second round like canon, but in this universe, he wins (after helping him because whats izuku without a saviour complex). Hitoshi beats Tokoyami and Sero, but loses to Bakugo. The final round is Izuku vs Bakugo, they tie.

The stain arc is a riot. Izuku is interning w Gran, Hitoshi is with Nighteye who happens to be looking for ‘Alley Cat’. Hitoshi is so done with this.

Izuku finds Iida about to be attacked by stain and swoops in. Stain recognises him instantly

“Oh, you’re one of the cat’s kids, aren’t you? Let me deal with this fake hero and you can show me what your dad's taught you.”

Iida is confused – resolves to ask about it later

“You step away from him.”

“What?”

“I said. Step away from Iida. He’s – We’re going to be heroes. We’re both going to be heroes and I won’t let you hurt him!”

Stain pauses, then smiles.

“Lets see if the apple falls far from the tree, hm?” And he launches himself at Izuku

Izuku can dodge with the best of them, but he can’t get close enough to hit stain while protecting Iida. He manages to escape paralysis, but by the time Todoroki arrives stain has barely taken damage.

Todoroki isn’t the only person that responded to that warning. 1 city over, Hitoshi is franticly begging Nighteye to do something, because his brother is in danger. Nighteye is shocked at the fear in the previously apathetic child’s voice. He alerts heroes in the area, and makes his way over with a nervous Hitoshi in tow. On the other end of the city, where he’d been trying to keep an ear out for his kids, Aizawa gets the text and his heart drops. He begins running over.

Stain is taken out before any more help arrives. Without ropes, Todoroki freezes him solid in a block of ice. Endeavour arrives, as does Nighteye with a panicked Hitoshi. Aizawa arrives soon after, perched on a nearby rooftop, ready to whisk his kids away to safety should they need it.

The nomu swoops down, grabbing Izuku. Stain can’t help – trapped in his block of ice. Aizawa runs after Izuku. The nomu drops Izuku off at Shirgiraki’s feet, who is rather delighted to have the annoying boy from the USJ delivered to him out of the blue. He’s not, however, so happy with the knives he finds flying towards him. Kurogiri redirects them and the portal fades just in time for them to come face to face with the villain ‘Alley Cat”

“Well that was a cheap shot Alley Cat, what crawled up your ass and died?”

Aizawa places himself in front of Izuku, teeth bared. Izuku is clutching the leg of his costume. “Don’t hurt him and you won't lose a hand.” Kurogiri goes to attack, but Shigiraki waves him off, letting Aizawa take back Izuku.

“Sir?”

“Don’t you see? There are villains in the hero course. I smell a side quest, don’t you? We might even get some new party members out of it.

#bnha #bnha au #alleycat au #dadzawa #aizawa shouta #eraserhead #midoriya izuku #shinsou hitoshi #eri #bnha eri #Midoriya #shinsou #izuku #shirakumo oboro #shirakumo #present mic #yamada hizashi

588 notes · View notes