#he can't keep suffering like this ;-;
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vaguely-concerned · 4 months ago
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the fact that irving canonically survives through the end of asunder to be at wynne's funeral is so fucking funny to me. nothing but love and respect for MY unstoppable cockroach morally grey machiavellian mage dad!!! he's survived in his position through multiple attempted rites of annulment and blood mage plots popping up left right and center around him. the chantry keeps trying to stamp him out but his dodge game is simply out of this world, divine. civil wars, political machinations and minefields, chantry atrocities, this wily old motherfucker is dodging and weaving his way through it all, not-quite-no-hits-taken-running-it-but-honestly-close-enough-under-the-circumstances style. if solas does succeed in tearing down the veil I would fully believe that one of the like three people still alive at the end of it all would be a very weary 90 year old first enchanter irving going 'oh this shit again huh'. the maker has cursed him for his hubris and his paperwork is never finished (affectionate, it's fine he canonically loves paperwork)
#we should have had the option to leave him in the fade instead of hawke or a warden#he would've just annoyedly shuffled his way back out of there a week later#dragon age#dragon age origins#first enchanter irving#he must be SO annoying to the chantry because it's heavily implied he's made his playground#out of tirelessly finding technicalities and loopholes to exploit that they can't *quite* call him on without domino effects going off#I think first enchanter in the circle system at origins times is a position that invariably and inevitably leaves you morally compromised#but I feel he really does his best within the rules he's given to play with and personally i love him a bit for that. and also#for being an unkillable lil shit. insufferable. inconquerable in his 'I'm about to be such an annoyance to you' impish spirit.#the I'm going to suffer but guess what. so are you of it all. traumatize the chantry back#I just imagine sophia sending letters home right before the vote for independence like '...dad I am hearing some INSANE rumours out here#what the actual fuck is going on back home???'#and he's like 'nothing that you need to worry about sweetie just keep living your best life and have fun killing darkspawn <3'#(there's something that makes me feel So much about how consistently his stance is like... 'you'll always be welcome here#but the circle doesn't *need* you; go be a warden and live your life'. he managed to fineagle freedom for you somehow and won't let you#turn and glance back. not even once. I feel somehow both so abandoned and so incredibly loved it's wild)#oc: sophia amell
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tatakaeeren · 2 years ago
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"Shinzo wo Sasageyo"
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gummi-ships · 2 years ago
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I just realized that Riku's hand visibly shakes when he tenses his fingers and wrist during his idle animation.
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cubbyhole-for-flea-bee · 11 months ago
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what if NMJ just poofs into an owl when qi deviations loom tho
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Bonus from a later reblog:
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FWUMP
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chirpsythismorning · 9 months ago
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Can we talk about how Jonathan might've been able to clock Mike simply because of what happened with him and Nancy in season two?
This will be a long post, so you might want to strap in or save it for later.
In Will and Mike's case, it would obviously be much different from Jonathan and Nancy's situation, given that you know, they're gay. But we still have Jonathan arguably going through a similar experience as Will, while Mike is going through a similar experience as Nancy.
In s2, we see Nancy confront Jonathan about how she waited for him before getting back with Steve, which is a revelation to him. Then they're at Murray's and she's struggling to say she loves Steve, after a handful of moments between them that felt like she might return Jonathan’s feelings. And you can clearly see it in his eyes, listening to Murray imply that they have feelings for each other, with him looking back and forth sort of in awe of what's happening, like he's starting to question if she might actually like him back.
Will doesn't have that same affordance as Jonathan to really hope, at least not anymore. Which is why these relationships in s2 and s4 end differently for these two brothers.
Based on all the signs he was seeing that Nancy felt the same, Jonathan decided to take the plunge to admit to Nancy how he felt, and at that same moment Nancy had the courage to show how she felt. In Will and Mike's case, Will wasn't ready to take the plunge to admit to Mike how he felt, at the same moment Mike didn't have the courage to show how he felt.
What's so painfully hilarious to me about all of this though, is that Jonathan arguably starts the season in the same shoes as most of the audience, where from his perspective, it's becoming obvious to him now that Will like's Mike, but that Mike does not feel the same way.
First at Rink-O-Mania, Mike appears a little uncomfortable upon hugging Will. Then as the happy couple continues on their adventure into Rink-O-Mania, he watches Will lagging behind moping. And then unfortunately he's out of commission for the rest of the evening...
But once he's sober and back to being an attentive brother the following morning, we see him watching them at breakfast, with Mike barely sparing Will a glance, all while Will is blatantly staring, almost like he's waiting for Mike to look back, only for Mike to get up and walk away.
All of these instances gotta be SCREAMING unrequited gay love to Jonathan. He's already gotten signs for years that Will is gay, these are now just the signs that are instilling his suspicions that Will has feelings for Mike. He could have easily interpreted their relationship in the early seasons as young best friends, with Will seeming to have a crush on Mike, and with them growing up and that potentially including Will's straight friend distancing himself from him because he doesn't feel the same. It's not the most unexpected thing in the world considering.
But then there's a shift.
Suddenly he's creeping up on them talking in his room. And we know he was listening in on the conversation because he brings up Owens when he sits down. As he's eavesdropping, he's probably thinking something innocent like Aww they're making up! And like, hey! Even if Mike doesn't feel the same, which is okay and entirely expected honestly, at least he still cares about Will enough to make things right after acting so out of character. Still, I'm not gonna lie, that sounded a lot like flirting to me--
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Then he's knocking on Will's door like 30 minutes or less later only to find Mike and Will back on their bullshit. Mike suddenly isn't going out of his way to ignore or put Will on the back burner. In fact, he's on his bed and they're talking, again! The door is even closed this time, which is interesting. This has gotta be a good sign in Jon's eyes. Nothing to worry about! Right? Right...?
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But then suddenly this shift continues, going in a direction he probably didn't expect.
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I mean, this is literally an identical jancy parallel we have here with byler on the hood of the car, with Jonathan right there to witness it. Despite him maybe only now subconsciously picking up on the similarities between Will and Mike to him and Nancy here, he's at least taking note (I mean he's even got his gay map out and everything).
It isn't until the van scene happens, that I think Jonathan starts to genuinely consider his suspicions, which is that Mike might actually like Will back.
EVERY time we get a shot of Jonathan looking back at Will and Mike in the van, followed by a shot of his POV from the rearview mirror, we're faced with Mike looking at Will while Will is looking away.
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As Jonathan is hearing Will confirm his suspicions about his feelings for Mike, he's simultaneously witnessing Mike not looking at Will with disgust, but something more akin to reverence. All of those moments in the van that we witnessed, including all the ways Mike looked at Will and everything that was said, Jonathan was right there.
And what's even more insane about this scene, is that it circles back to Jonathan as a character himself.
I remember when people were talking about how odd it was that we never saw Jonathan with a camera in s4. After 3 seasons in a row of making his passion for photography a big part of his identity, that part of him was apparently absent entirely this time around... But was it really?
This is the same guy that said, "Sometimes, people don't really say what they're really thinking. But you capture the right moment, it says more."
Jonathan might not have had his camera in s4, but this was without a doubt one of those moments where he captured something more.
Something that I also think get's highly overlooked about this scene, especially when it comes to Jonathan looking back at them, being followed by a shot of Mike staring at Will, is that he could see both of their reactions the whole time, from beginning to end. Will nor the audience had the affordance of knowing because Will was facing the other way at the end, while we on the other-hand were blurred from even having the chance, despite Mike literally being in the frame. But not Jonathan. He even lets us see what he sees, a few times, but not at the very end, which would have been nice after they didn't let us see Mike's reaction seconds before this.
Let's just stop right there for a second though and circle back to what I consider to be the first time Jonathan really picked up on Will's feelings for Mike, which was at the end of s3, in a sequence that is a little too relevant to the van scene if you ask me, given that they are almost direct parallels.
While these parallels are pretty spot on visually, they are also near spot on narratively when it comes to the evolution each of these characters are experiencing.
For Will in the first scene, it's sadness that he's moving away from his friends in Hawkins and also feeling like he's losing Mike, after what looks like him and El making up, which makes him scared he'll distance himself again. For Jonathan, it's sympathy for his brother who appears to have some very deep feelings for his friend, feelings he can't quite grasp yet but soon enough will.
For Will in the second scene, it's heartbreak that he has to accept that Mike will never feel the same, knowing that supporting his relationship with El (encouraging it honestly) will likely turn out just as it did last time, with him losing Mike all over again, for the last time. For Jonathan it's sympathy for his brother who has now confirmed his suspicions that the feelings he has for Mike are more than just that of a friend.
Given that this parallel reinforces the same feelings Will and Jonathan had in s3 to now, why would this not also reinforce those same feelings that Mike had in s3 to now?
In the first scene, Mike was visibly distraught, with dialogue from Hopper in the background applying a little too perfectly with what he was feeling in that moment, which was scared. He’s apparently back together with El now, despite them doing just fine as friends for the last 3 months, as well as him and Will just having finally gone back to them being on good terms again. But now, it’s like he’s right back where he started at the beginning of s3, feeling obligated to be the perfect boyfriend to El, and as a result, having no choice in his eyes but to distance himself from Will. Mike then walks into his house looking like a zombie, almost emotionless stepping into his mother's embrace.
Now, I say almost emotionless because it looks like Mike was trying to hold back showing how he truly felt in this moment. He's not crying like he did in s1 when he lost Will that first time. Time has passed and things have changed (he doesn't want things to change). And he's trying his best to keep it together. But the in-focus close-ups make it clear that he is definitely not okay.
What's so impactful about these parallels is that it presents the inner struggle both of these characters are having, both queer and experiencing doubts, but in different ways and for different reasons.
Will is the one who covers it all up with lies, hiding the tears in his eyes, because boys don't cry.
Mike is the one who has never cried to them, just to his soul (RUN AWAY! TURN AWAY! RUN AWAY! TURN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!!).
If you actually try to get a gage on Mike's in-focus emotions in that first scene vs. his out-of-focus emotions in that second scene, well they're not that far off from each other.
We go from Mike smiling vibrantly at Will, to him now slowly turning away to look back down at the painting, with whatever the hell emotion this is...
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It's near impossible to catch because of how out-of-focus it is, but looking a lot closer, it honestly appears like Mike is feeling something akin to sadness that he's trying to mask. For a moment it even looks like he turns his head to wince emotionally, only to correct himself.
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And call me crazy, but these shots also low-key parallel each other. Mike looking down trying to keep his emotions in check and failing miserably, only to look up and meet eyes with someone whose witnessing it.
With each shot before this of Jonathan observing Mike looking at Will, with him showing all the emotions Will never got to see and everything else in between, I wonder what Jon saw this time? Probably another thing he didn't expect.
Can you just try to imagine the silence in this van, accompanied by Will's muffled sobs, and then try to imagine Mike turning to look down at the painting, only to sneak a glance, and then go right back to looking at the painting, IN SILENCE, and then try to tell me how the assumption that Mike didn’t notice Will crying makes any sense, like realistically?
Yeah me and Jonathan are confused too.
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Right now, Jonathan's probably wondering why Mike was acting a little fruity and repressed during the painting reveal. And that although he may have a penchant for being able to 'capture the right moment', Mike is sticking with his story (despite all the stalling and doubt). He is 100% straight!
And so maybe this is where Jonathan tries to accept what is being presented to him as the truth, despite the contradictions in front of him. It's likely that despite the way Mike looks at Will and acts around him, in ways he would have assumed coming from Nancy in s2 would've been evidence that she felt the same, it probably doesn't apply to Mike.
Maybe Jonathan's ready to accept that it's a lot more likely Will is experiencing unrequited love as a gay kid growing up in a small town, the most predictable experience a gay kid could go through, and in contrast Mike just feels too bad to let Will down easy.
Or who knows, maybe Mike could still be a little bit gay too...
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But it doesn't matter anyways. Mike seems to be adamant about this and so there's really nothing else Jonathan can he do besides tell his brother he'll be there for him no matter what. And so he does just that.
But then Mike just has to surprise him one last time.
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For those that don't know, the line Mike gives here in his monologue was in part pulled from Will's monologue in the van. Most don't know this because this line didn't make the final cut for the van scene, but in the official script the writers posted, what we find is an almost a direct parallel.
Which makes the reaction shots of Will and Jonathan directly after Mike says this all the more epic.
From Will's end he was probably hearing Mike say this and just thinking 'Damn. Well, that's what you get for using your feelings to inspire Mike to profess his love to El.'
But from Jonathan's end, I don't think his outside POV of these events overlapping was nearly as naive as his brothers understanding of the events. Because why the fuck would Mike need to use Will's feelings to inspire him to profess his love to El in the first place? Is this what Mike has been struggling with? Really? Why before every moment Mike takes action in this scene, is Will's hand literally pushing him into it? Why is Mike being so dramatic about saying I love you, stuttering and rambling about her being a superhero, not saying nearly as meaningful of things as what Will said in the van?
And then it hits him.
Mike is reminding him a little too much of another Wheeler right now...
Nancy Wheeler, who was afraid of what would happen if she accepted herself for who she really was, leading her to retreat back to the safety of Steve. Because Nancy liked Steve, but she didn't love Steve.
And now here is Mike Wheeler, who has went from being incredibly distant with Will after reuniting with El, something that is very unlike the Mike he knew in previous seasons, to something more himself again after they make up, with him looking at Will with adoration after hearing his words in the van, only to turn away and look heartbroken. Mike who is now struggling to simply tell El he loves her with Will right behind him literally yelling at him to do it.
And now it's like all those little moments are starting to add up to Jonathan.
Suddenly all those signs he picked up on from Will when he was younger are now blending in with moments Will shared with Mike. It was Mike who jumped in after him and his mom's speech to Will in the shed in s2, with tears in his eyes recalling the day that they met (without being asked, let alone pushed to). And it's Mike who is now looking like he's at war with himself as he attempts to give encouragement to El, just like he did with Will in s2, but this time he needs someone to push him to do it, and that person just so happens to be Will. After just finding out about Will's feelings and also while assuming El wants him to love her that way still, Mike is stuck.
I don't think it's takes a genius to consider Jonathan is capable of realizing how fucked they all are in this situation.
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As much as Mike isn't ready for a sleuth of reasons, Will isn't ready either.
This provides a huge contrast between the bylers ², because while Jonathan and Nancy went through a similar experience to Will and Mike, them being ready to accept it and act on it didn't involve nearly as many factors and risks. Will and Mike also have the added barrier that is homophobia.
Will's internalized homophobia lies in part with assuming Mike could never feel the same based on some of the words he said in their last two fights, with parts being painfully reminiscent of the things his dad and bullies used to say about him. These are also words that contradict Mike's own words and actions from the previous seasons, things that did once give Will hope. The shame and guilt that comes with falling for your best friend, who you now know will never feel the same after being foolish enough to believe it not too long ago, and who might not even want to be your friend anymore upon finding out the truth, is understandable. He can't have hope like Jonathan can. It's just not the same.
Mike's internalized homophobia lies with assuming El wants him to love her, along with their relationship being expected and socially acceptable from everyone around him. Though unfortunately for her he feels abundantly more in love in the moments he shares with Will. Despite trying to make it work with El as hard as he could, because she's amazing and all any guy could hope for in a girlfriend, he can't ignore the fact that the feelings he has for these two people are different. The shame and guilt that comes with you, a boy, falling for your best friend, who is also a boy, and who is starting to show that he feels the same, all while you can't muster up the courage to break up with your girlfriend, nor can you muster up the courage to tell her that you love her, not when she's begging you, dying or even just simply at the end of a letter, is pretty understandable too. He can't have hope like Nancy can. It's just not the same.
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Spoiler: They were not ready.
PS: I'm still not over the fact that they low-key confirmed these events elsewhere in the story...
#byler#st analysis#pocketgate#lettergate#i'm aware this is a hot (big brain) take#but i'm like 76% sure mike understood will in the van scene#also why mike is gonna finally be dealing with some personal business in s5...#just want to add that this makes the scene at Nina hit harder#also#mike trying and failing to tell el he loves her or break up with her at surfer boy and stalling because he just can't fucking do either?#mike's face when will pushes him to profess his love to el right in front of him???#honestly i dont think mike would've gone through with his monologue if he didn't think this is what el wanted in large part#i think he thought that if he did break up with her she wouldn't need him at all anymore#or more specifically if told her the truth she might hate him for it and just not want to be in his life in the aftermath of that#this is why he struggled so much with being honest#it was either lie and suffer but get to keep her in his life most likely or tell her the truth and potentially lose her and still suffer#it's just that now he has literally no choice but to conform and be with her all while knowing it's not what his heart truly wants#the heart not being true to himself jumpstarted the apocalypse#everyone act surprised#byler getting jonathan’d in s5 can be something so personal#no but imagine jon getting even more signals mike feels the same 😭#and he tries to talk to will about it but will just gets upset like pls stop why are you saying this?#or imagine him talking about it subtly with Nancy and her being like no way#only to see it for herself#maybe then Nancy would try to talk to Mike about how he’s feeling#idk I could genuinely see byler just getting byler’d individually#but it’s clear at this point Jonathan is extremely suspicious#honestly all I think it would take is him having intel about their previous fights#if he found out mike defended his behavior by insisting that they’re friends…#jonathan would just be like… oh shit.. the first lie…
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merakiui · 8 months ago
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OMG MERA RIDDLE ONKY GOT ONE FIC OF HAPPINESS FROM YOU!!!!
Hehehehehehehehe riddle going through it again lmao. Riddle who graduates and decides to fulfil his promise 9f moving in with you but bc of his mum and studies he didn't keep I'm touch with you. So he calls you only to find out your already married and pregnant with you nth child with floyb, who was a friend of your during high school.
Floyb is so fucking smug abt this development too. When you meet up with riddle again floyb is all over you, especially your pregnant belly >_<. Riddle is currently heart broken that his first love and child got snatch from him by an eel. XDDDD
- Lily anon
I need to start giving Riddle more Ws to balance the amount of Ls, but I fear giving him Ls comes so easily. T_T
AAAAA MARRIED TO FLOYB........... omg poor Riddle,,, he gets through his studies and is so determined to finally be a good father and lover after his mother and academics kept the both of you apart, but it's impossible now because you're with Floyd! >_< and that's not even the worst of it. You're pregnant with Floyd's baby... he's absolutely devastated with this development. His heart is in tatters. Do you not love him the same anymore? He's truly so sorry for all that happened. He would have been more present if not for the other circumstances keeping him from interacting with you. </3
And of course it just had to be Floyd. Of all the people in the world, it just had to be one of the most annoying, troublesome people Riddle's ever known. He can't stand Floyd's smug smile or the way he drapes himself over you like a shawl. >:( how handsy he is, as if he has no regard for the fact that you're in public. Riddle knows what he's doing, too. He's trying to irritate him into admitting that he's still in love with his step-sister (in the not-so-familial sense). At the very least, if Floyd's to be given credit for anything, it's that he genuinely cares for you and your child. Even if Riddle loathes admitting it and would rather be in Floyd's place instead of having to look in on this dynamic.
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astro-b-o-y-d · 6 days ago
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If I say Ford should be allowed to exist as an imperfect victim of abuse without being shamed for falling for that abuse while also being allowed to be viewed as an ass at points, will the fandom flay me alive on both sides?
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istharoth · 21 days ago
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Sometimes I think of RuiEd angst and like Ed talking to the MC about Rui like:
"If I were a woman, I would've loved him by myself for a really long time."
IN FUCKING SHAMBLES.
Imagine Ed falling in love with someone, a human, after his previous human lover died. Vowing to himself that he would never love again, never go through the short-lived love ever again, then Rui comes into the picture and it's like spring has come.
(bonus if it's unrequited.)
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beanghostprincess · 10 months ago
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"Haha ASL Brothers haha more like American Sign Language" well, actually, YES. After the explosives that made Sabo lose his memory, he also started to have difficulties hearing and Dragon had to teach him ASL. He doesn't want to worry Luffy and Ace (he's alive. Shut up) when they meet again, so he doesn't say anything. But they start noticing he can't hear them well anymore and his fake smiles are too fake for his brothers not to notice it. So!!! Luffy tells Robin and Robin actually knows ASL?? And Marco does too, so Ace also has a teacher. Then, when they see each other again, Ace and Luffy start signing almost perfectly (almost. They're pretty clumsy and Sabo sometimes has a hard time trying to understand wtf they're trying to say). Sabo pretty much starts crying when this happens. Dumbass brothers that learned ASL for him. He loves them so much.
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radaverse · 11 months ago
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Yknow, pep, I think I know why your saying shit like “oh no I won’t kill him he did nothing wrong” and it’s BECAUSE YOU ARE WEAK, YOU’RE AN IGNORAMUS, AND YOU AIN’T EVER GONNA GET ANYWHERE IN YOUR DAMN LIFE! YOU’RE GONNA END UP ON THE FUCKING STREETS AND DIE OUT THERE ONCE YOUR PIZZERIA CLOSES.
...
You clearly have-a nothing better to do than coming-a to mess up with-a my life, don't you?
What-a do you know if he did-a wrong or not? What-a do you know how I feel? What-a do you care if I get-a somewhere with my life or not?
Nothing.
You want-a me to go and try to fight-a Fake Peppino.
But, have-a you ever thought about-a what could happen to me if I try? Have-a you ever thought that I might-a not be in condition to fight? Have-a you?
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WHAT-A IF I DIE? DOESN'T THAT-A MATTER? NO! THAT'S-A NOT IMPORTANT, RIGHT?!
YOU JUST-A CARE ABOUT-A WHAT YOU WANT, BUT WHAT ABOUT-A WHAT I WANT? WHAT ABOUT HOW I FEEL?!
DON'T-A YOU DARE-A SPEAK TO ME LIKE-A THIS AGAIN.
YOU. WILL. RESPECT-A. ME.
YOU WILL LEARN. TO RESPECT-A. ME.
DON'T-A YOU TALK ABOUT-A MY...
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...pizzeria...
Don't-a you mention my pizzeria again...
It's everything I've-a... fought-a for...
... I just want-a... to be a chef... But everything... EVERYTHING. HAS TO ALWAYS-A GET ON MY WAY- A-AUGH!-
...aah... [pant, pant]
[gasp] What... What am I doing-a wrong? [gasp] What-a did I do to deserve-a this...?
Do I deserve-a this... disrespect?... [gasp]... I deserve-a this pain...
Don't I?
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[Sob]
[Sob, sob]
Leave-a me alone...
... LEAVE-A ME ALONE!
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Congrats, you've made Peppino cry.
are you fcking happy now
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coffeeworldsasaki · 3 months ago
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"why are they bringing back this character that absolutely has to be brought back because OF THE HUGE CHOICE AT THE WELL IN DAI when they could bring back this other character that can die and they'll have to waste an immense amount of resources to replace them with another character for those world states"
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fascinationstreetmp3 · 4 months ago
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when armand isn't with someone and doesn't have the security of a companion or a coven, he may as well not exist, he's said as much. "if i am not with him, i am nothing." but theres also a sort of inverse version of that statement that applies to him, i think. armand struggles to feel any empathy or care for someone who isn't showing him love, or at the very least providing companionship. they can all be easily harmed or disposed of at the drop of a hat. if you are not with him, you are nothing.
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bunnihearted · 23 days ago
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🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹
#so i have an appt. to the psychiatric department for personality disorders tmrw...#and like i tried sending a self referral to them last year lmao#and they only said that heyyy you're doing amazing sweetie you are high functioning 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻#then i've ben to the health care center and since they think they cant treat me bc it's too severe they've sent referrals to other places#which have all declined me... so they also sent one to the psychiatric who sent a referral to this pd department#who that time also said that they can't accept me#so the therapist at the health care center like idk exactly but she sent a report on how they didnt handl my case properly#which made them call on me for an evalutation appt.#but i have 0 hopes. i honestly think the entire psych care is fucking lame and bullshit#i highly doubt they're even equipped to treat personality disorders#& even if they are theire budgetis getting cut bc ppl love having rightists ruling the government .... which means no funds for healthcare#anyway. PLUS it's a man.... -_- which reducuses my chances of being taken seriously even more...#i also hate talking to male therapists/psychiatrists... no fucking thanks. but i have to </3#i just really dont wanna go. like im gonna have to put energy into trying to argue for my right for treatment. w ppl who should inferstand#UNDERSTAND* i hate typing on my ipad ffs. they should understand my personality disorders..#bit health care proffessionals are horrible ppl and dont give a fuck abt their patients lol. so they're only condescending and rude 🤢🤮#i hate being in these environments bc everyone treats u like shit. the receptionists are so fkn rude and almost outright mean and insulting#the doctors and therapists and psychiatrists are all bullies who look down on u and make u feel small and worthless#so im really dreading it... but im also at my wit's end. i am missing out on my entire life. im desperate for help#even if i wholeheartedly believe that these worthless wastes of space wont give me any treatment i'll still need to go and try#then ig i'll just have to keep pestering the healthcare system. i might wventually even have to start going to the psych. ER so they put#that on my records and like idk. that costs money tho. plus from everyone i've heard from...#being at a psych ER esp when your situation isnt dire is awful and hell#my cousin who had been ther after a sui attempt had said that it 'scared him straight'#and that it was so terrible that he did everything to get back home as soon as possible and do whatever to never end up there again#so yuh... i'd rather not!#i was supposed to (my own decision) to write a list with ALL my symptoms and bring and be like LOOK MONGREL!!!#but since i suffer from avpd...... i havent. i procrastinated and now it's too late whoopsie. i'll just have to wing it fuckkkk 🥴#ofc it also has to be 8.45 .. so early in the morning for me im so mad ahhhhh i dont wanna go i am throwing up and screaming#but atp i'd have to pay $35 myself for not going so that will motivate me enough to force myself to go
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yuseirra · 1 month ago
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onk is so annoying~~~~~~~!!!aahh I actually feel like I'm going to get so many things right in the end and I have all the answers, I SERIOUSLY DO, I'm not- I'm not being full of myself or making baseless claims, I just SEE what they are trying to do with the writing, the feelings of the characters at least, some of them are painfully obvious BUT THEY JUST KEEP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH AND KEEP TRYING TO TWIST THINGS AWAY AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT ISN'T. That's what I find so annoying!! It's actually one of the reasons why I took a break from reading the comic after some time when I picked up the work after having viewed S1 last year. I know what they're doing and why the characters are written like this, and how they're like this, I'm pretty positive!!
I was annoyed about Aqua last time because he still had feelings for Kana yet the authors made him entangled with Akane while he DIDN'T abandon his feelings for her, I'm really sorry but he shouldn't have treated Akane like that. It wasn't fair. His feelings towards Kana NEVER once changed. I JUST SAW THAT, the writers make him stray away from that feeling he was for painfully long, they better make the whole reveal fulfilling in the end, I KNEW aqukana was going to be endgame for so long. Aqua SHOULD NOT have treated Akane the way he did if he really wanted to build a genuine relationship with her. The anime S2 seems to leave off at there where he asks her to be a couple, well, I think he did try, but he didn't discard his feelings towards Kana as he did either. I just.. knew, that what happened wasn't what he truly wanted and this guy NEVER confronts his desires, he should have gone up and told the person he liked about his feelings but this comic considers something like this a suspense or a plot point and lets it drag on for dozens of chapters... I came BACK after they confirmed about his feelings because GOD it was so obvious. This whole story would have gone nowhere without him ever having gotten true to his feelings, nothing would have been resolved without it because he'd always have had this lingering feeling for Kana and it's just hanging with it without being acknowledged in the story!!! It's not about what ship I support exactly, it's- I know what characters have feeling for whom!!! and they try to make it seem like it's some big secret because I get it, endgame ships are important but Aqua, as much as I cared for him(he's been making me so angry lately though,) was being a douche to both girls. They both can go kick his butt for toying around with those girl's feelings. and ehh I can see regardless of who his love interest is, ultimately the one person he really cares about more than his own life is Ruby HSHSH.. What is that guy doing. His dad told him to go back and live!! I am mad!!!
and now, I already partly have a good idea about how Hikaru and Ai's relationship issue's going to be resolved but they have to DRAG IT ON AND MAKE ME SO NERVOUS. The authors must really like doing this and think it's very clever but again, this is so tedious and nerve-wrecking to watch as a weekly issue with Hikaru being completely out of it, he's totally gone insane!!! The one guy Ai wanted to confess to being in shambles is both so ridiculous and so tragic to look at!! Look at the total mess he's become, they can't make him be so..;; so ugly like this, it's so rude to his being as a character and I'm sure they aren't going to leave him be like this as Ai's other half(YES THIS GUY!!! IS AI'S OTHER HALF!! HE'S DEVISED TO BE HER MATCH FROM THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT STAGE!!)
Come on everyone, I know what I'm doing.
YOU CAN'T MAKE AI SAY WHAT SHE'S SAID TO/ABOUT HER MURDERER!!!! THAT'S 1. SO CRUEL, 2.A DOWNRIGHT DUMB CHOICE AS A WRITER AND IT DOESN'T HAVE A POINT!!
YOU MAKE HER SAY THAT BECAUSE THE GUY DIDN'T DO IT AND IS SOMEONE WHO SHE CAN TRULY LOVE THAT WAY!!! HER NAME MEANS LOVE!!! I just... caught that as soon as this dropped and they lay out all these dumb and confusing ideas later on and make things sooo messy but it's actually, ultimately leading in this direction because DID WE SEE ANY CLEAR PROOF THAT HE WANTED TO HURT AI OR GET BACK AT HER. WE DO NOT BECAUSE HE REALLY DIDN'T DO IT!!! IDK ABT HIM KILLING OTHER PPL THAT'S VAGUE BUT AT LEAST, THIS GUY LOVED AI!!!! WHAT THEY HAVE IS MUTUAL AND HIS FEELINGS FOR HER'S BEEN WHAT'S BEEN MAKING HIM GO ON WHEN HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY WILL TO LIVE AND FEELS PRACTICALLY DEAD AFTER SHE'S GONE!!
THIS GUY WENT INSANE AFTER HE LOST THE ONE SINGLE PERSON WHO MATTERED THE MOST IN HIS LIFE. HE'S NOT HIMSELF!! I just watched how he appeared in the final ep in the anime and I kept going: 'oh this guy. He's totally lost it. He's totally gone mad, the madman. he needs to see a psychiatrist' BECAUSE WHAT'S BEING PRESENTED, IS NOT HIM BEING HIMSELF. I really think.. the guy became possessed or became out of it after he wished to see Ai again. Look, Look at what's happening in the songs. SOMEONE WISHED THE DEAD TO BE BACK. SOMEONE WISHED TO BE ABLE TO BE WITH THEM. THEY WERE WILLING TO DO ANYTHING IF ONLY THAT WERE TO BE POSSIBLE. THEY WISHED UPON "A STAR". There is no one else other than him that would have made that kind of wish.
HE WANTS AI BACK!!!!
Help omygod I'm so tired of the writers just dragging on and spinning things in circles and confusing the readers I JUST GOT THIS OVER AND DONE WITH AS SOON AS THE CHAPTER AND THE SONGS DROPPED AND
If they're doing to make him a villain they never would have had to put in that scene where Ai tells her children she wants her boyfriend to be helped. That totally isn't necessary. They never need to have told us she really loved him and wished to live forever with him. This isn't the type of story where HER efforts would remain a dumb, futile choice, Hikaru's wish may be but AS FOR AI, NO!!!! IT JUST LITERALLY CANNOT HAPPEN!!! THE ENTIRE STORY HAS HER WISH AND LEGACY UNDERLYING IN THE PLOTLINE AS A FLOW, THE STORY DOES NOT FUNCTION WITHOUT IT BECOMING A REALITY!!! RUBY AND AQUA'S WISH AND DRIVES ARE HIGHLY CORRELATED TO THE WISH SHE HAS, AND IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM DETACHING AND STRAYING AWAY FROM IT, IT'S ABOUT THEM ADDING ONTO IT AND STEPPING FORWARD BUT IN THAT SAME DIRECTION! THEY EACH BECAME AN ACTOR AND AN IDOL THE WAY SHE WANTED AND THEY PROGRESSED IN THE ROUTES IN THEIR RESPECTIVE JOURNEYS. THIS STORY CANNOT STAND WITH AI BEING DISREGARDED, SHE'S THE PIVOTAL, KEY PERSON THAT ACTS AS THE BACKBONE!! SO THERE IS NO WAY HER BELOVED IS A SIMPLE CRAZY INSANE MANIAC THE MOMENT SHE TELLS THE READERS SHE ACTUALLY LOVES HIM DEARLY!! SOMETHING'S UP WITH THAT GUY AND HE'S ALSO SOMEONE THAT DESERVES TO BE SAVED!! THAT CHARACTER IS DEVISED TO BE AI'S LOVE. HE IS. AND YOU DON'T MAKE THAT GUY BE A BASELESS SIMPLE FREAK, THAT'S WHY LITERALLY NOTHING'S ACTUALLY BEEN... TOLD TO US ABOUT HIM??? BECAUSE, THE STORY WANTED US TO THINK THAT WAY BUT HE ACTUALLY WASN'T!!!! IT'S RUDE NOT JUST TO HIM BUT AI!! AND I AM SURE THE WRITERS REALLY DO LOVE AND CARE FOR AI. They won't make her look dumb. Not only does it make the character's charm die out, it just totally downplays and degrades the entire series as a whole. Ai is that central. I'm not saying this because I favor her, it's just.. the way she's devised.
it's such a relief this manga's on hiatus till October 24th~ 'v')/ ah.. I can relax.. I can relax. um, probably till this time next week, this comic is oh, it can get super dumb(I'm so sorry aka-san and mengo-san. I don't mean it in a literal sense I'm just TIRED THOUGH). There are so many things I like about it but it stresses me out, I honestly wouldn't be like this if I could not spot anything, but I just SEE these things so clearly and I feel so lonely about it, there is NO WAY it wouldn't go otherwise at least I think so, but it's not my work and the writers aren't me either so I can't be completely sure- it's... painful to wait out and see the characters making dumb choices and making crazy faces, making vague statements that actually result to nothing much and having to wait a week for unanswered questions, every week, I'm not sure if this is supposed be suspense or cliffhangers or what makes the readers want to grab the next episode etc but I've never seen a comic that works so much like a morning kdrama, it's been that way as of lately and it's really wearing me out
oh guys, oh guys don't worry. I never play a game I'd lose. I really need to buy one of those storywriting books- the "how to write" sort of things right. but I; just don't see this going any other way in an ultimate sense. The answers are already out. What I'm unsure is how we'd get there. I could sit back.. and come back after a year like the way I did last time, but I stepped in way too deep and it feels like a sinkhole.. I keep getting afraid if I get anything wrong, oh, I actually feel I can speak.. a little.. when they have breaks like these. otherwise I'd get too nervous to say anything... I can just focus with doing what I enjoy regarding this work without having to worry about just what the heck may come next...
I have like 3-4 ideas I want to draw, I want to get to that before the next chapter drops lol if this comic keeps making me so;; nervous, yeah, I can just rest. I've been pushing so hard~~~~ I'm sure the writers are having so much fun right now and I'm just playing into their hands as a reader because wouldn't it be so nice!! be so fun!! to have people feel things regarding their work! but it's time they start providing us answers now and give this story a good wrap-up. I hope it has like three volumes left at least; I will regret having read this piece if they just drop what that can be perfectly good because, because, I can see this piece getting a really good resolution. They can do it!!! I SEE IT! IT CAN HAPPEN! EVERYTHING CAN MAKE GOOD SENSE AND IT CAN BE GREAT!! AND I think that's what they're going for. I got so many things right about this piece, oh.. I really hope it does go in the way I could be happy I read it.. I got in again because I caught a glimpse of it.
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 3 months ago
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thinking about superheroes unfortunately
#random thoughts#let me daydream about batman in peace#love the dynamic between spiderman and deadpool#it's that kind of dynamic i love where two people have power over each other in different ways#like spiderman is a well-loved public figure and deadpool's idol while deadpool is a dangerous mercenary with regeneration powers#physically deadpool probably outmatches spiderman through sheer dogged perseverance#while in the public eye spiderman is more well-liked AND deadpool is feverishly obsessed with him#i'm gonna keep forgetting the hyphen between spider and man btw fuck the world#loving the idea of a spiderman who KNOWS deadpool can do better and believes in him while deadpool gives him a space where HE can be himsel#like spiderman has so many masks he has to put on around other people#i think deadpool should be one of the few people he can truly let himself loose around#yknow before he can get to a point where he can reveal he's peter parker#also i think peter parker in his ideal state suffers from severe identity and self confidence issues#like he thinks spiderman is a seperate persona he puts on which is superior to himself in every way#(okay seperate thought: DID spiderman. the spider bite being so traumatic it led to him creating a split personality to cope.)#(or separate. whatever.)#also age difference. peter should be in his mid-twenties while deadpool should be in his thirties. need more power imbalance#also they're both sa survivors and their personalities could be interpreted as them handling it in vastly different ways#with deadpool being hypersexual and spiderman being flirtatious yet distant and peter parker being borderline celibate#though honestly i could leave spiderman being an sa survivor given it was a whole 'gay people are all predators' psa#also i think spiderman should have been held back in high school. due to struggles relating to being spiderman#so he graduated late and now he's going to community college#peter parker has the luxury of going incognito. wade wilson will always be stared at no matter what he's wearing#deadpool who every superhero hates. spiderman who every superhero organization is trying to recruit desperately#also i think peter should admire wade. physically. built like a brick shithouse that one#also the third act low point CAN'T be about spiderman feeling guilty because deadpool kills people#okay? it's overdone. we've seen it. it's lame#i prefer when their opposing views on murder are treated in a more 'death penalty or no' way rather than assuming deadpool is always wrong#because spiderman's idyllic 'people can change' beliefs can be just as wrong as deadpool's 'assholes deserve to die' beliefs#and spiderman has definitely killed people are you kidding me. both accidentally and on purpose
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dollsome-does-tumblr · 1 year ago
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i know i need to calm down, and i promise i will someday soon, but roman ... after ken leaves him crushed about how he “fucked it” ... looking over at gerri with such open, sad feeling and clearly entertaining the idea of going over to her for a second ... and then walking right past her and going out into the street to goad protesters into beating him up .........
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