#but i look at riku and i want to take him to the hospital

[gummi-ships]

I just realized that Riku's hand visibly shakes when he tenses his fingers and wrist during his idle animation.

[usamifriends]

IDOLiSH7 Anime vs Game Comparisons

First Beat - Episode 4

Days Before TRIGGER's Concert

Turns out the 1st and 2nd side story got mashed into the beginning of the 4th episode! I completely forgot since it's been a few years since I watched the anime.

There are still some differences. For example, Tamaki did not try to skipping school. And the discussion with Riku, Mitsuki, and Sogo was with the whole i7 crew instead. They used this so everyone can say their feelings about the ban together.

The discussion about being freedom and being alone vs. compromise and being with others was completely skipped. (Personally, I think this is a bit of a shame because I think it's pretty important to Tamaki's character). Instead, they focused on Sogo not being able to be honest about his feelings and the contrast between Sogo and Tamaki's personalities.

Iori's observation on Riku's reaction to TRIGGER is different. In the game, he catches on Riku's feelings of rivalry towards Tenn and is happy about it. In the anime, he says, "When you stimulate pent up emotions, they explode at many times the intensity. I hope the stimulation you (TRIGGER) provide is of the strongest variety." It seems like he's picking up on Riku's frustration / stress because he is not allowed to sing. The statement is also an observation of the whole i7 as a group. It is a good way to summarize and wrap up the situation. He also feels so much like a manager because of this line.

Hours Before TRIGGER's Concert

The anime's explanation for Tenn's hospitalization is overwork. The game adds a bit more: it was raining rather heavily, but they weren't able to move the day of the shoot. So Tenn just pushed himself. The game makes it clear that Tenn did not get sick because he is reckless (in contrast to Riku). It was a situation he couldn't help.

Tamaki, Nagi, and Yamato find Tenn when he collapsed after getting off the taxi. Nagi immediately tries to do a mouth-to-mouth. Yamato tells him to stop because Tenn is still breathing.

Nagi: Oh...

Yamato: Stop with that "but I wanted to do that" look.

Tamaki approaches Tenn and asks him if he's okay.

The game makes it more obvious that Tenn's attitude completely changed after Tamaki says, "Oh, I'm not a fan. We're here to get some stimulation."

Nagi and Yamato pick up the change in attitude, but Yamato assumed that it's because Tamaki was being rude (saying TRIGGER's performance is just "some stimulation"). I think it's because Tamaki is not a fan.

We get to see the Nanase parent's reaction to Kujou taking Tenn away. Their father got mad and said, "Cut the crap!", while their mom started THROWING SALT. The woman was trying to purify the ground Kujou stepped on 😂😂 Riku was holding Tenn's hand, like in the anime.

The Concert

We get to see more reactions in the game!

Nagi and Yamato are amazed by Tenn's performance, even though he is performing with a fever. Riku is shocked. He seems astonished at Tenn's determination and dedication.

Iori notices that Gaku has a lot of fans. He is amazed at Gaku's skills and charm. Sogo comments that Gaku is currently the most popular rising idol in Japan.

Tamaki notices Ryuu because of Ryuu's dance. Mitsuki also likes Ryuu. He says, "He's got a good physique and does flashy moves that looks wild and sexy. That's nice..." It's the same line as the one in the anime, but the game delivery seems to emphasize more on Mitsuki's desire to be like Ryuu.

Iori asks if Mitsuki wants to be sexy like Ryuu. Mitsuki replies that he wants to be manly with a big body. They have the same interaction as the one in the anime, but it felt less like a joke.

After the Concert

They cut a bit from TRIGGER's backstage. Tenn collapses again, but Gaku and Ryuu are there to take care of him. Then, Tenn says, "I love you guys". This is also shown in the anime.

The game adds some scenes with Tenn. Tenn said that he feels so good that he can see the stars. Ryuu is understandably worried hahaha. I think the game was hinting that Tenn said, "I love you guys" because he was delirious. After all, it's not something Tenn would normally say.

Like in the anime, Anesagi comes in the room furious because of IDOLiSH7. Gaku also gets mad after Anesagi explains what was going on outside because Tenn performed at the expense of his own health.

However, game Gaku seems much more angry than anime Gaku. He was about to go out and settle things himself.

Ryuu tries to stop Gaku, saying that if Gaku goes outside, things will get out of control. Gaku says that, that's just what he wants. Ryuu tries to get Tenn to help calm Gaku down.

But Tenn is just GONE 😂 He was singing, "Twinkle~ Twinkle~". He seems actually conscious in the anime. Tenn's reaction to Anesagi in the anime:

Side Story I - Riku, Tenn, and Bombs

The story starts with TRIGGER's concert. Strangely, only Tenn-nii is on stage 😆

As people shouted for Tenn, Riku feels wronged. He feels Tenn abandoned his family to do this. However, suddenly, Tenn makes an announcement for a special guest!

That special guest is none other than his little brother Riku! Tenn calls Riku on stage. Riku pretends that he hasn't forgiven Tenn but goes on stage anyways.

Tenn apologizes to Riku on stage and says that everything he did that day (when he left Riku) was for this day (to call Riku on stage and perform together).

Riku asks him if he's telling the truth. Tenn assures him and tells him to wave to the audience. Riku suddenly changes into his MONSTER GENERATiON clothes and happily waves at the audience.

The audience goes wild~~

Riku is overjoyed. He said that this feels like their parents old club. Tenn agrees. He is happy that their dream finally came true. He, then, urges Riku to pick up the mic, so they can sing together.

Right before Riku could say the song title that he and Tenn were going to sing together, Iori interrupts his dream and brings him back to reality.

Iori asks Riku what he was dreaming about because Riku was smiling in his sleep. Riku says that it was a dream that he really didn't want to see. Iori doubts him because Riku looked so happy.

Riku repeats that the dream did not make him feel happy. And even though he did that in the dream (join Tenn on stage), he values IDOLiSH7 more now. Iori doesn't understand. He reminds Riku that he doesn't know what Riku dreamt about, so he doesn't understand what Riku is referring to.

Riku tells Iori that he's happy Iori didn't see his dream because Iori would surely be disappointed if he did. Riku continues, convincing the clueless Iori that his dream is definitely to be with IDOLiSH7.

Iori still doesn't understand, but says, "I believe in you" because Riku's eyes looked so earnest. Iori tells Riku to get ready because today is the day of TRIGGER's concert.

We see a shortened version of this in Vibrato Episode 3. Sadly, there was no scene of Iori saying, "I believe in you" to Riku, despite not understanding a thing :'(

The rest of the side story talks about the bomb incident, which was wonderfully adapted in Vibrato 3-4!

Side Story II - Sogo and Mitsuki's Music Talk

Mitsuki and Sogo talk about concerts while waiting for Yamato, Tamaki, and Nagi.

Sogo says that this is his first time going to an idol concert, but he goes to band concerts quite often. He continues talking about the joys of moshing and stage diving (My guy Sogo is a party lover at heart).

Mitsuki doesn't seem to understand anything Sogo was referring to, so Sogo reroutes the conversation to idol concerts. He asks if Mitsuki goes to them often (This really feels like when your friends can't follow your nerding 😂 I feel you Sogo!).

Mitsuki does! He goes to both male and female idol concerts. Mitsuki usually supports all the members of the group, but he also gets the feeling of excitement people get when they scream for their bias. Mitsuki expresses his excitement to get the silver tapes from tonight's concert, since they've been popular lately.

Silver tapes are tapes given during concerts. They will often include handwritten messages from the members of an idol group.

This time, it's Sogo's turn to not understand 😆

Mitsuki comments that concerts can look so different depending on the kind you're attending. Sogo agrees. He says that he's not used to having an assigned seat in concerts and asks Mitsuki to tell him if he's doing anything improper during the concert.

Mitsuki tells Sogo to be mindful of the people around you when waving your fans or light stick and that he should wave them around shoulder height.

Some great fans by fans: "I'll support you forever", "I love you, Gaku-sama", "Ryuunosuke love", "Tenn-kun is an angel"

Mitsuki actually brought a homemade fan! (I wish we could've seen it 🥺) Sogo wishes he made one himself too.

Mitsuki asks Sogo how he started liking TRIGGER.

Sogo first encountered TRIGGER in a music festival! He really liked their voices and got addicted after the festival. He was surprised to find out that they were idols. He's amazed at how they were able to sing such songs while dancing.

Mitsuki happily exclaims, "Aren't idols amazing?" Sogo smiles and says, "Yes!" They both renew their determination to debut.

Mitsuki suggests that they should buy commercial fans because idols may give you some fanservice if you have a solo fan (a fan about only one member).

Sogo can't seem to choose between the three, so he asks which one Mitsuki wants to buy. Mitsuki proudly declares that he'll get Yaotome Gaku's fan. Mitsuki likes Gaku because Gaku always gives his all and because Gaku's face is Mitsuki's type!

Sogo decides that he'll get Tenn's or Ryuu's.

The anime only includes the part where Mitsuki and Sogo decide on whose fans they're going to get (minus the Gaku's face is Mitsuki's type and why he likes Gaku!).

There's also a funny part where Mitsuki and Sogo are so sure that the trio won't be late. As the audience, we know they'd be late because of the bomb case.

Side Story III - The Concert from Tenn's Perspective

The story starts with TRIGGER's concert from Tenn's perspective. Tenn is taken aback, seeing Riku in the audience.

He hesitates naming the song TRIGGER was going to perform because Riku calls out to him.

Riku says, "Tenn-nii! Tenn-nii, are you happy now? After leaving your family behind and finding happiness for yourself and only yourself, are you happy?"

Tenn ignores Riku and a attempts to name the next song again. Riku shouts, "Don't pretend like you can't hear me!"

Tenn steels his resolve and calls out, "SECRET NIGHT!" This triggers Riku's attack, which Tenn notices. The audience goes wild.

Seeing that no one seems to notice Riku's condition, Tenn begins to call out, "Riku...! ...Someone please notice! He's having an attack! Someone please help him leave!"

Despite his calls, no one seems to notice. Instead, they seem to call out even louder for Tenn.

Tenn becomes more desperate and says, "Please save Riku! Don't crush him! Someone please...!"

Then, Tenn wakes up from his dream, delirious with a fever. He calms himself down and makes his way to the concert hall.

We cut back to Ryuu and Gaku discussing about how they will split up Tenn's part among the two of them. Anesagi gives them some suggestions about the performance and tells Gaku to message Tenn if he's that worried.

Ryuu suggests that they should wear Tenn's T-shirt and send Tenn a message. Gaku shuts the idea down, saying that this will be used to mock him until the day he dies. Anesagi worries that she won't fit in the T-shirt because she gained some weight.

Ryuu reassures her that she's always pretty. Anesagi thanks Ryuu and comments on how Gaku is like his dad: he's only nice to girls he actually likes. Gaku says he's not like his dad and flippantly tells Anesagi that she's beautiful. Anesagi doesn't believe him.

After more bomb scenes and Mitsuki + Sogo fan merch shopping scenes, we cut to Riku and Iori. Now, they've arrived at the concert hall.

Iori notices that Riku has been pretty quiet since they left the dorm and that Riku looks a bit pale. Riku tries to reassure Iori that nothing is wrong.

Iori realizing that Riku is still bothered about something says, "...As I have said this morning, I don't know what kind of dream you had last night since I cannot see it. But in reality, you and I are looking towards the same dream. And that is IDOLiSH7. I don't know what happened, but I hope you can feel better."

Riku: "Huh? What did you say? Sorry, I was spacing out...." (😂😂😂😂 Iori has been shooting love arrows all morning, but it seems like he missed all of them LOL)

Iori: "...Could you please make sure not to miss when someone is speaking from the heart?"

If you have some time, why not rewatch one of TRIGGER's classics: SECRET NIGHT!

[heroloverangel]

Sunrise

Tamaki lovers come get your dinner

What were you ever worried about?

It was only an hour ago that you were panicking in your hospital bed, but now that feels like an entirely different version of yourself. You can barely even remember the pain of your contractions or the agonizing waiting game you were playing all night. None of that matters anymore, not when you’re staring down at the face of your new baby in your arms.

You glance at Tamaki, who’s been glued to your side for every second in the delivery room. He’s gazing at his child with a look of pure wide-eyed amazement as if he’s not entirely sure this is all real. “Hey, you okay?”

He nods slowly and moves to sit on the edge of your bed. “Yeah. It’s just hard to believe he’s here, after everything.” He reaches over to run a finger along the baby’s cheek, and the little boy squirms faintly at the contact. “You were great. Is it weird to be proud of you for having a baby?”

You can’t help but laugh, even as exhaustion creeps into every bone of your body. “No, I’m pretty proud of both of us for getting through it. I was a little worried you were gonna faint when you looked down there.”

“I almost did! There was just a whole head sticking out of you!” You don’t know if Tamaki’s ever smiled that wide before. “I’m glad I watched him come out, but I never want to see that again.”

You can agree to that. “Don’t worry, I think we’ll have plenty of time before we think about another one.” The two of you fall into a happy silence, both of you enamored with every tiny feature of your son’s existence. He’s completely bald, so his hair color will remain a mystery for the moment, but those pointed ears are adorable and unmistakable. You were already made aware that your newborn would look like a weird little alien, but you didn’t expect he’d still be this cute.

“We’re really parents now,” Tamaki murmurs, and you’re not sure if he’s talking to you or thinking out loud. You look at him curiously, and it warms your heart that he’s still grinning at the idea. “This is gonna be so amazing.” Your baby yawns, and you pass him over to his father to rest your tired arms. “I thought I’d be freaking out about everything, but it doesn’t seem scary. It all kind of just feels…right, I guess. Does that make sense?”

“I think it does, but I’m pretty zoned out between the pain meds and the whole labor thing.” You play with one of your baby’s hands. “What about you? What do you think, Yuto?” Both of you pause. You’d picked out the name weeks ago and it seemed perfect at the time. Looking at your son now, though, something about it just doesn’t seem to fit. “Hey, Tamaki?”

“Yeah?”

You squint your tired eyes to take a closer look at the baby. “I don’t think that’s his name.”

He runs a hand through his messy hair and gives a small nod. “I wasn’t gonna say anything because you loved it so much before. What should we call him, then?”

You were planning on getting a nice nap in after the birth. Instead, you find yourself in an endless marathon of announcing a name only to discard it immediately. None of them seem to be a match for him no matter how many you try. It’ll be hilarious later that this is your first major stumble as parents, but neither of you are laughing. You’re both on the verge of tears, actually. 

“Akira?”

“Riku?”

“Daiki?”

You’re rapidly approaching the point where you settle on Fatgum Jr just to move on and call it a day when your husband makes one more suggestion. “Taiyo?” As if answering, your son stretches one tiny hand up and shifts in his arms.

“Taiyo,” you repeat, and something finally clicks into place. The two of you look at each other and break out into matching smiles. “You’re really incredible, Taiyo. Did you know that?”

Tamaki’s forehead bumps affectionately against yours. “He gets it from you.”

[rabbitenn]

May I request HCs for Riku with an s/o who specializes in the medical field and works as a healthcare professional in terms of internship as they’re actually a medical student suffering at med-school? They also love taking care of Riku. Take your time on this request, this anon that requested the eccentric cat-like s/o with the twins, I adore your works and your writing is so pretty! I love it very much. 💙

THANK YOU FOR YOUR EVERYTHING.

Your gentle care is his best medicine.

ft. Nanase Riku x gn! reader.

cw/genre: fluff, a little bit of angst, comfort for Riku.

hello, dear ! Thank you so much for your kind words and for your request <3 even if I’m posting it so late, I hope you still enjoy.

— You were actually one of the first people to find out about Riku’s respiratory illness.

— In the same way he didn’t want to make it known to his friends and groupmates, your boyfriend conveniently omitted the detail with you as well.

— However, one day you asked him to let you practise listening to his heart and lungs with your stethoscope.

— His symptoms had been controlled lately, so the idol didn’t think you’d find anything out of the ordinary.

— And anyway, he could never say no to you.

— The stethoscope feels cool against his skin, but your hands are so gentle…

— Then, you suddenly pull away, silence hanging between you two.

— “Riku, why didn’t you tell me?” You ask him, trying to meet his warm gaze.

— He avoids your eyes.

“Tell you what?” He laughs, a bit nervous.

— “Riku…” you sit down, facing him. “You have asthma, don’t you? Why didn’t you say anything? I could help…”

— Your partner sighs, shoulders slumping.

“I didn’t want to… to be a burden…” He mumbles.

— Now it’s you who sighs.

“You’re never a burden, you hear me? Never.” Your hand squeezes his in reassurance. “I will not stop you from chasing your dreams either, you know.” You sit next to him, still looking at him. “Just please, take care and let me care for you too. I promise I want to, and you’re not a liability.”

— “You mean it?” He asks, those puppy-like eyes of his making you want to hug him right then and there.

— “I swear, Riku.” You utter, with a tender kiss to his cheek.

— For a fleeting moment, he closes his eyes, letting himself breathe in the warmth of your embrace. He’d be okay, and he’d make you happy.

— That aside, Riku thinks it’s so cool you’re studying medicine!

— Granted, he is not fond of hospitals due to having spent most of his childhood in one, but he admires and supports your career path.

— To be able to help people who are struggling with their health… He really is proud of you.

— However, he’s still going to worry if you stay up until too late memorizing anatomy and physiology.

— On instances like this, he tries for you to take a break, reminding you of how you always tell him to rest enough before performances.

— You smile up at him tiredly. He’s right, you’ve invited him to stay the night at your place, you should pay more attention to him.

— With a soft yawn, you cuddle by his side, your books put to rest for the night.

— You needed this. To let your mind unwind, to indulge in the loving embrace of your cute boyfriend, to just be with him in the calmness of your room.

— “Thank you, Riku.” You muse, as your lips curve up gently.

— He holds you a little closer to him, a smile matching yours on his adorable features, as you two drift off into sleep.

— There are other times, however, when not everything is so easy.

— With the change of the seasons, Riku’s condition tends to take turns for the worse. And even if it always ends up stabilizing again, that doesn’t really stop you from worrying.

— That is why you are extra careful about him taking his medicines and inhalers, always making sure that he doesn’t forget them when he has performances.

— The moment your boyfriend begins coughing, you’re by his side instantly.

— At first, you always try to calm him down, trying to melt away the stress that seems to close in over his chest.

— But if that doesn’t work, you carry an inhaler just in case, and have mastered how to use a nebulizer just for him, excelling in all your classes.

— It pains you to see him not being able to sing the encore at this concert, but you know going on when he’s in such condition would put him in danger.

— You know how much it hurts him too, his heartbreak palpable in the desperation in his eyes.

— But he has you, your hand is in his, and you keep the nebulizer’s mask in position until he stabilizes.

— “I’m sorry, Riku… But I just… I had to do something…” You tell him, your arms wrapping around his form.

— He leans on you, returning the hug.

— “I’m sorry [Y/n]… I wanted to sing for you…”

— “Shhh it’s okay, love.” You cradle his cheeks in between your palms, wiping away the tears that have escaped his sunset eyes. “I want you to be well, first and foremost.”

— “I’ll get better for you.” He vows, as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, your hands running soothingly down his back.

— When the cold months approach, you make sure that Riku’s throat doesn’t get cold.

— Reminding him to grab his scarf when he goes out, making him warm tea with honey and keeping your home clean and warmed up for when he visits.

— But of course, nothing warms him up more than the way you love and care for him.

— He hopes to perform at his best for you very soon.

[rosewritesfanfics]

Is it alright to request a pt2 to the story helpless :)

Helpless Part 2

I gave this a happy ending, I might write a bad ending next simply because I love angst but we'll see.

The walk to the hospital had passed in a blur, people, buildings, and plant life merging together around him as Strelitzia guided him through the city. He'd stopped crying only once he had no more tears he could possibly shed, eyes red and puffy. Small injuries received during the battle did not register as he focused solely on trying to get your connection to respond. He couldn't tell you what hospital this was. He couldn't tell you what room number you were in. He couldn't tell you where Riku or Strelitzia had gone. All he knew was that he could see you and that's when he finally snapped back.

You were still on the bed, shallow breaths nearly unnoticeable if not for Sora's silence. The nurses had cleaned the blood off your face, and only then did Sora realize he was still covered in it. Oh god. The red coating his hands had been inside of you. You were so pale. Could you even regenerate enough to recover? There was so much. A stark contrast to the white sheets on your bed. He felt like he was going to be sick. He needed to get it off now. But if he left you, would you stop breathing? You still weren't responding to him. Normally it was instinctual, you'd have no awareness of your connection and your heart would do it even while you slept. Please just respond. Please. He was only met with silence.

Strelitzia and Riku re-entered the room with a rag and food, probably from the cafeteria. No words were spoken as Riku wiped the blood from his face. Sora would not look away from you.

"Sora" the sound after so much quiet almost scared him. "There's a sink in the adjacent bathroom if you want to clean the blood off your hands." Riku spoke gently, like he was talking to a wounded animal or a child. The worst part was, Sora couldn't disagree. His mind was completely adrift with fears about what was happening. Truthfully, Riku could have wiped the blood from Sora's hands as well, but he wanted to give Sora a moment to collect himself.

"I can't leave them." Sora's voice was scratchy from the screaming he'd done earlier. He hoped his heart didn't sound as weak. It had to be strong to even hope you'd hear him. Riku looked like he wanted to say something, probably to convince him to take care of himself. Sora knows you'd want the same thing. But he can't. Not when you're still not answering him.

"Sora the doctors said they're stable, but we can't do anything until they wake up." Strelitzia was trying to calm him from his internal storm of emotions but she didn't understand. You never ignored him calling out to you. "Sora please do you really want them to wake up and see you covered in blood? It's for both your sake and theirs." Strelitzia was playing on his weakness, and it worked. He was fragile in this state but he'd do anything for you.

Sora found his way to the bathroom and scrubbed his hands until they felt raw. He actively avoided looking at the mirror, he didn't want to know how he looked right now.  He called out one last time, in the vain hope he'd hear something. Anything. At first there was still only silence. Sora gripped the sink so hard he thought it might break. Somehow it seemed he still had some tears, and he grit his teeth as he fought against them. He didn't need to embarrass himself any further in front of his friends. He quickly forgot the sentiment when he finally, finally, felt your heart again. It was a quick pulse. Flickering and barely there. But it said what it needed to. I'm still here. I'm going to be ok.

Sora almost fell to the floor in sheer relief, allowing a few tears to fall before exiting the bathroom and pulling his chair up next to your bed. The other two left the room to give him some privacy as he cried next to you. He focused on his messages to you. Soothing and apologizing, trying to comfort you. You could hear him couldn't you? You had to. A few more minutes pass. Another small pulse. Sora allowed himself to smile. 

It's three long days of waiting before you wake up. Your heart had been getting stronger and Sora could feel it. Your connection was restored and arguably stronger than it was before. Even if you couldn't communicate with him past instinct, upon waking you'd find you could sometimes feel one of those pulses from his side of the connection. You'd woken up to it, Sora's heart buzzing and humming as it sensed you fully awaken, knowing before he'd been able to witness it. You gently squeezed his hand that was holding yours as he napped by your bedside. You felt him squeeze back as he slowly woke up, before blue eyes fully widened and Sora sat up in shock. His hair was even more a mess than usual, spikes depressed and messed up in all different directions, but other than that it seems Riku and Strelitzia had forced him to take care of himself. You'd have to thank them later.

Before you could say anything he scooped you into a hug. You gripped back and he laughed, and tears once again fell from his eyes, happy ones this time. You took a second to absorb your surroundings and how you got there. That's when you remembered how Sora had confessed to you. After ignoring you for months. Suddenly you pulled back, and the look Sora gave can best be described as that of a kicked puppy. 

"I'm not mad" you start and he perks up a bit as you continue, "especially not after what just happened, but we still need to talk. I can understand wanting me to be safe and why you kept your distance, but that doesn't change the fact it hurt me."

"I'm sorry, I know there isn't a good excuse." Sora sounded just as small as he looked, and your previously stern demeanor melted a bit. How were you supposed to stay upset when he was this adorable? It truly wasn't fair.

"I forgive you, just promise me you'll keep me updated from now on." As soon as the words leave your mouth he's once again at full attention, capturing your hand in both of his while looking at you with a seriousness you didn't think he was capable of.

"I promise. I was never planning on doing something like that again anyway. I don't even know if I could leave your side after seeing you while injured. The whole time we've been apart, I've still been able to feel you in a way thanks to the way our hearts are connected. I can feel it with all my friends, although some connections are stronger than others. But when you passed out, no matter how much I tried to feel you there was no response. Eventually your heart began calling back out to me, but before that I was terrified. For all I knew you were dead. That fear, that's how you've felt this whole time right? I'm so sorry I ever put you through that, I'll never do it again." He's choked up again by the time he finishes, and when you tug him back in for a hug he holds you tighter than ever before. The both of you still needed to talk things through, and there was still a war to fight, but for now Sora could focus solely on the person he loved without fear.

[crimsonprimrose-crime]

HECK YEAH. I'M FREE! Which means...

BLOOD+: Dangerous Boy

I have so muuuuch to share about this episode. Reminding yall that we have literal teenagers as protagonists. In a chiropteran filled world.

Kai must have been struggling with himself a lot, before even the incident happened. He wanted to be better. To be relied upon. To protect his loved ones. But he's just a boy. He let his emotions drive him to follow Forest for revenge. With a gun, which he probably didn't know how to properly use.

Riku is clueless of what's happening. To him, suddenly his father is sent to the hospital and is struggling to live. Then his older brother wanted to kill someone for revenge. Her sister too is acting strange. Props to this little boy for holding the family together.

Saya's no teenager, nor this is her first life. But she's experiencing it all again with no memories. AGAIN, if someone comes to me and tell me that Saya's weak. I'll grab them by the neck and say 'ofc she is, this isnt some shojo anime where the girl suddenly transform into a magical uniform and beat ass'. I like Saya this way. Real and relatable. She struggle with herself, she will overcome self, and them accept self. That's my girl.

Still in the i-cant-with-David train though. Julia's right when she said he's too 'heart over business'. Except with Saya. Imma side eye David real quick for simping over the Haji. But okay.

Anyways, this is the episode that made me curious about chiropterans. We see in the first episode the form of the military chiropteran. He's very normal looking, right? (lol) He's just much bigger and has longer ears? And if you look closer, he has this cute stubby nose.

But Forest's chiropteran form is different. His head is still close to a human head. But he's longer and he's got wings! Translucent too? I can't find a gif or a picture but I know yall have seen this ep. If not, go watch lol. So like, is a chiropteran form depends on one's race, character, personality, physical characteristics? Welp. We'll delve into that more in the following episodes.

NOW that im done with all that yapping, ofc im going to talk about Saya and Haji. Because FINALLY he has introduced himself to Saya. It probably took him a lot of courage to do that. Courage OR pain. Having to introduce yourself again to the person you've spent most of your life with can bring in a wave of emotions yall. But as someone who majored in human emotions (lol jk), I hope yall saw Saya's expression before and after Haji's introduction. From uncertainty and doubt to relief and trust. AND DID HAJI JUST MADE SAYA LICK BLOOD OFF HIS HAND???

Last observation for this episode is Saya and Haji's fighting technic(?). I realized that Haji would take most of the damage and give most damage to the enemy. Saya mostly gave the last attack. Yes, Haji carried the team but never got the mvp role. Lololol. But its a headcanon of mine that its an agreement to the both of them. Saya knows the burden of killing someone so she probably didn't want Haji to experience that. However, Haji doesn't want Saya to get hurt and wanted to shield her from everything. That's how they come to an agreement that Haji will do most work and Saya will do the killing. That all made sense to me, idk about yall lololol.

FINE. I'M DOING IT.

i'M GOING TO REWATCH BLOOD+ FOR THE NTH TIME and post my thoughts here. After the 50th episode, THEN will I upload the HAJI collection. Because I love Blood+ and I don't wanna drown in my thoughts. Lol.

[genshinarchives]

𝐈'𝐌 𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐈'𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋! 𝐂𝐇. 𝟐

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟐: 𝐀𝐍 𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 : You’re adjusting well to your new life as the Heiress of the Onigasaki Clan with Kazuha by your side. You then meet the villainess’ alcoholic younger brother, Yuito, who seems to know something that you’re not aware of.

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒 : Ayaka, Ayato, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kazuha, Thoma, Tomo, Yoimiya

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 : Romance, humour, isekai, transmigration, reverse harem

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : N/A

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 : N/A

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏

Four days have passed since (y/n) woke up in Inazuma as the villainess. To her surprise, the villainess didn't look very different than her original self - just that she appeared younger and had longer hair. Kazuha was initially surprised when she had asked him to bring her a mirror since he knew that the villainess didn't like to be reminded of her strong resemblance to her late father, Onigasaki Riku.

(Y/n) had finally recovered from her fever as well, and strangely enough, it was Kazuha and not Tsukuyomi who nursed her back to health. When she questioned Kazuha about her retainer's whereabouts, he told her that he was running an errand for her mother, Onigasaki Aino, in Ritou and should be back by tomorrow evening.

"And why are you here instead of exploring Inazuma?" (y/n) inquired, dipping her brush into a small pot of ink, "I thought you didn't like staying cooped up in one place."

"When you were brought into the estate unconscious, I was already resting in your home after a journey. Tsukuyomi-dono then asked me to take care of you until he returns, though I would have done so even if he didn't ask me to. It's hard for me to sleep peacefully at night knowing that you had fallen ill," he replied, taking out a book that had caught his interest from her bookshelf. He flipped through the pages, humming. "What are you doing by the way? Are you going to write a story?"

She snorted, her hand shaking slightly as she tried to write Kazuha's name in kanji and hiragana to practice using a brush. According to the villainess' memories, she likes to write short proses when she's alone during her free time. Makes sense since she has no other way to vent when Tsukuyomi is not with her, (y/n) thought to herself. "I wish. When are you going to leave again?"

"(Y/n)-chan... Do you really want to kick me out that badly?" he asked, feigning hurt.

She almost dropped her brush and looked at him in disbelief. "What- Of course not!" She then huffed when she noticed him trying to hide his teasing smile behind a book. "I was just curious, Kazu."

'Kazu?' he thought, blinking. (Y/n) would always call him "Kazuha-kun"... He brushed the odd feeling he suddenly got aside, thinking that she's probably going to come up with a plethora of nicknames for him like she did for Tsukuyomi.

"Alright, alright," Kazuha said, laughing as he returned the book to its original place, "I'll be here for three more nights. I don't want to cause unnecessary trouble for your family."

(Y/n)'s lips formed a pout.

"Eeeh? But you're always welcome here in the Onigasaki Estate. Our families had close ties, so consider my home your home," she told him, hoping to spend a little more time with the Anemo sweetheart who managed to capture the hearts of many with his character trailer alone. She's not ashamed to admit to being one of his simps as she's a firm believer of Kazuha supremacy.

Kazuha's signature smile appeared on his lips, making his expression look as soft as ever. "You're a kind person, (y/n)-chan. I'm really grateful to have you as my best friend, but I don't want to take advantage of your hospitality like that."

If words are actually objects, (y/n) would be dead by now because the term "best friend" skewered her heart with a multitude of knives.

"The childhood friend game here is strong," she mumbled, devastated that she got indirectly friendzoned by the Kaedehara Kazuha. She covered her eyes with the hand that wasn't holding the brush, as if she was in despair.

Kazuha cocked his head slightly to one side. "Did you say something?"

The (h/c)-haired woman immediately straightened her posture and waved her hand in front of her. "Oh, it's nothing~"

"You know, you're more cheerful these days," he commented, chuckling at the end of his sentence. He remembered Onigasaki's heiress as a more serious person, but now, it felt like he was speaking to the (y/n) before she fell in love with Thoma of the Kamisato Clan. "I missed seeing your beautiful smile."

Heat crawled over her cheeks. The villainess must have been living in heaven if Kazuha showered her with compliments whenever they were together!

"Y-you didn't have to add that last part," she murmured, suddenly feeling shy.

"Why not? It's not something I should hide, and I'm being honest."

She couldn't tell if he was being genuine or teasing her. "KAZU, YOU-" She stopped herself mid-sentence when a timid voice called for her attention outside the door.

"Lady (y/n), I have your tea ready."

"Come in," (y/n) said, quickly putting on a more proper act befitting of an heiress.

As the shoji slid open to reveal a female servant kneeling on the floor, Kazuha noticed a peculiar book sticking out of the shelf and carefully took it out of its place between two other books. His eyes widened when he opened it.

"Excuse me," the maid murmured, shuffling inside with a wooden tray. Stopping next to (y/n), she then placed it on the floor and began to pour a cup of green tea with trembling hands, causing a few drops to spill on the tray. This made (y/n) raise an eyebrow and wonder, was the villainess truly that evil?

"Pour a cup for Kaedehara-san as well," the (h/c)-haired woman uttered whilst observing her. The maid looked like a typical female NPC; black hair cut in a short bob, dark eyes and a plain brown kimono under a white apron. (Y/n) remembered her as the villainess' personal maid, Yuuko.

"Yes, Lady (y/n)."

'She's acting like she's serving a ghost. She must be the maid the villainess poisoned... Does Kazuha know about it?' she thought, glancing at Kazuha from the corner of her eye. Honestly, she didn't know if she transmigrated before or after Yuuko's poisoning, so there's only one way to find out.

"How are you feeling, Yuuko?" (y/n) asked, startling the maid.

"P-pardon?"

The poor girl was shaking like a scared puppy beside her, making (y/n) sweatdrop. Just how terribly did the villainess treat her servants?

"I asked you how you are feeling. If you're still unwell, then don't push yourself. I'll have Tsukuyomi fill in for you until-"

"No, please don't throw me out! I can still serve you!" Yuuko cried, bowing down with her forehead touching the floor.

(Y/n) gazed at her in surprise; so her initial assumption about the maid was correct. "Who said I was going to throw you out of the estate? I only suggested that you take a rest since you're still recovering from the poison."

"Huh?" Yuuko raised her head, stupefied by her seemingly uncharacteristic response.

(Y/n) merely waved her off and said, "If you understand, please leave us alone now."

Yuuko bowed again. "Yes, Lady (y/n)!"

The moment she left her room, the (h/c)-haired woman shifted her attention to Kazuha, who had been reading a book silently the entire time. She wondered if he heard anything that was exchanged between them, but seeing as he was engrossed in whatever he was reading, she doubted that he did.

"Kazu?" she called, drawing his attention. He immediately looked up from the book and snapped it shut.

"Oh, is the tea here?" he asked, walking towards the door, "I'll pick up the sakura mochi I ordered this morning then. I'll be right back." Flashing her a small smile, he promptly left the room.

(Y/n) sighed. "Right. Now that he's gone, I might as well crack on." Picking up her brush again with newfound determination, she started writing down what she knows so far based on the memories of the villainess.

'It's so hard to write neatly with a brush,' she thought, her tongue sticking out from the corner of her mouth in concentration.

Onigasaki (y/n) is currently eighteen years old, so she will be twenty years old by the time the Traveler sets foot in Inazuma. She's the eldest child of the clan and is therefore the heiress, and she has a younger brother two years her junior called Onigasaki Yuito, who's pretty good-looking in her opinion. He has choppy, long hair that is dark violet in colour and styled in a high ponytail, held in place by a red ribbon. His messy, chin-length bangs are parted on the right side, and he shares the same (e/c) eyes as her. Like their mother, he has a fair complexion. Yuito is well-versed in the clan's Owari Kan Ryu and is the best at wielding the kuda-yari despite his young age. He also has an Electro Vision, unlike his older sister who is Vision-less.

Her hand paused when she suddenly remembered a certain detail about Yuito.

Her younger brother is a hopeless alcoholic.

It's safe to say that Inazuma is probably inspired by the Bakumatsu Period, which was when the Boshin War took place in Japan, so there are no underage drinking laws yet.

As if on cue, the shoji slid open and a certain violet-haired alcoholic sauntered into her room, his words slurring as he spoke to her. Speak of the devil, she thought to herself with an audible groan.

"Onee-samaaa!" he exclaimed. (Y/n) stared at him as if he was an alien creature invading her home, visible disgust appearing on her expression.

"Get out of my room," she said. Who on Teyvat raised this boy? When she was bedridden with a fever, he sometimes barged into her room uninvited and Kazuha always had to make him leave so she could rest in peace. She pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing in exasperation when Yuito proceeded to sing terribly while stumbling around with his glass of sake like a lunatic, and then decided to ignore him in favour of continuing to write.

She'll kick him out later, once her blood pressure spikes.

Aikawa Tsukuyomi, an illegitimate child of the Kamisato Clan, is the villainess' loyal retainer two years her senior. He had risen to become one of the strongest samurai in Inazuma who excels in iaido and tachi-dori. (Y/n) let out a dreamy sigh when she recalled his beautiful appearance - shoulder-length, pastel blue hair with a fringe that goes past his eyes, and sharp blue eyes with a yellow crescent moon under each pupil. Like Ayaka, he has pale skin. He would sometimes wear his straight hair in a high ponytail, but most of the time it was worn in a half ponytail. Like Ayato, he's in possession of a Hydro Vision.

Moving on to the husbando team.

Kaedehara Kazuha is the villainess' childhood friend. The Onigasaki and the Kaedehara Clans had close ties before the latter dissolved, so they knew each other ever since they were children. Kazuha often visited her home to play and would cling to her arm like a little brother who's attached to his big sister every time he came over. Even after becoming a wandering rounin, he would make an effort to drop by the estate, mostly to rest after a journey. He would bring her cute souvenirs and always had interesting stories to tell her.

Thoma is the object of the villainess' affection. The villainess fell head over heels for him when she visited Ayaka to discuss potential marriage prospects in the Kamisato Clan with her, having been drawn towards him by his simple acts of kindness. Unfortunately, Thoma doesn't like her because of her nasty personality; she's arrogant, selfish, gets jealous easily and has a bad temper. (Y/n) wanted to eat a shoe when she recalled all the terrible deeds this body had done.

She quickly crossed Thoma's name out. Attempting to form a relationship with him is a no-no if she wants to live a stress-free life in Inazuma.

Kamisato Ayaka is... the villainess' acquaintance? (Y/n) wouldn't call them friends since they don't seem that close with each other, but the Princess of the Kamisato House is a friendly figure around her. Probably for diplomatic reasons...

(Y/n) couldn't recall any memories of Gorou, so maybe she'll meet him later on? There's also Kamisato Ayato who rarely shows his face... She wondered if she'll ever get the chance to meet him in the future.

She was pulled out of her train of thoughts when she heard the sound of something spilling over. Her eyes widened when she saw that Yuito had kicked her pot of tea off the tray.

"You rascal, you just spilled tea all over the floor!" (y/n) yelled, smacking his foot that just slammed itself down on her low table, "Stop it! You're gonna make the ink spill too!" If she could chuck him out of the window right now, she would definitely do it - but she didn't want to commit murder this early in her second life.

"I'M ONIGASAKI YUITO, THE PRODIGY OF THE PROUD ONIGASAKI CLAN! HOW'S THAT, GIVEN UP YET~?" he sang loudly, hiccuping at the end.

A red tick mark appeared on her head. "YUITO, FUCK OFF!" Right when she grabbed her brother's half kimono, Kazuha entered the room with a bewildered look.

"Is... everything alright here?" he asked before holding up the packages of sakura mochi that he had brought with him, "I got my order and also purchased some tri-colour dango since they're your favourite, (y/n)-chan."

Good thing she stopped before he could witness her strangling the life out of her drunk idiot of a brother. "My best friend is back, now get out."

Yuito was swiftly kicked out of her room. Lifting himself off the floor, he slowly made his way back to his own room.

"I came in just in time..." he mumbled, swirling the sake in his cup with a soft sigh, "Good thing I managed to stop onee-sama from drinking that tea." He then pursed his lips. He can't keep doing that though, or else he might rouse suspicion...

After Kazuha brewed a new pot of tea for them, (y/n) lost herself in a conversation with him while they ate the snacks that he had bought for both of them.

"... and that's what happened," he said, concluding his story.

She laughed loudly. "So you used Chihayaburu and ended up plunging into the river below? Who knew that the great Kaedehara Kazuha could make a miscalculation while fighting hilichurls?"

"I wasn't paying attention that time because I was a bit sleepy... I didn't realise the bridge was broken." His shoulders slumped forward. "Tomoaki just stood there and laughed at me too. If I didn't have an Anemo Vision, I would have been walking around with wet clothes all day."

"Your stories really are the best," the (h/c)-haired woman remarked, wiping a tear of laughter from the corner of her eye. Just then, a male servant called her name from outside the room, saying that he had received a letter that was addressed to her.

"Who's the sender?" she asked.

"It's from Lady Ayaka of the Kamisato Clan," he answered.

"Read it for me."

He complied and read Ayaka's letter out loud. It was basically Ayaka asking her how she's doing since she had received news of (y/n) falling ill a few days ago, and that she'd like to invite her over to the Kamisato Estate two days from now if she's well enough to walk.

(Y/n) bit into her sakura mochi as she mulled over her options. She could be an asshole and lie about still being sick to avoid crossing paths with Thoma, or she could be a decent human being and accept Ayaka's invitation.

Decisions, decisions.

"Are you going?" Kazuha inquired, sipping his green tea, "You have feelings for the Chief Retainer, don't you? I think this is a good opportunity for you to get closer to him."

"I don't know, Kazu..." she murmured.

"No matter what you choose, I will follow whatever you desire." Kazuha smiled at her, reaching out to squeeze her hand reassuringly. "After all, seeing you happy makes me happy."

She stared at him, touched by his words. Even when the villainess was scorned by other people, he chose to remain by her side as her only friend; even when she grew up to be an unlikable character, his feelings for her didn't change. She could clearly remember the villainess' bitter feelings that stemmed from the burdens of her past, yet Kazuha was always there by her side, like a gentle breeze.

"Then will you accompany me to the Kamisato Estate?" she asked.

"Gladly. I'll be there to protect you in case anything happens," he replied.

Thoma shield acquired.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟑

[satsukiichan]

A list of BL mangas with animal characteristics - PART 1

Hi everyone!! Hope you are doing well. I took my time to make a list of BL mangas with animal characteristics, this is part 1. What I mean by ''animal characteristic'' is that certain parts of the character´s body will be animal parts (ears, tails, etc), but they are not going to be neccesarily omegaverse. Hope you like them :)

Kedamono Arashi / ケダモノアラシ

In this world exist, “normal” human beings and those with ears called “beasts”. Beasts have a unique body that experiences heats/ruts and pregnancy between the same sex is possible. Miyaji Akira is a beast doctor. A beast himself, he defies nature to be one that is not swayed by instincts. Kijima is the hospital director who likes to meddle with Miyaji. Kijima, born with the rare dominant gene, has very strong pheromones which results in him leading a very crazy sex life. Miyaji, although not very good at dealing with the guy and in spite of being the total opposite of him, is tempted by him.

Omega Shunki / オメガ春機

Kumo from the mountain dog tribe was picked up by Kin from the cat tribe and who lives near a wolf tribe doctor of the omegas, Ise. Whether it be Kumo having the characteristics of a dog, he tends to make playful nibbles and licks towards Kin. However, the fact that Ise was pleased with their excellent compatibility makes Kin’s heart ache.

Playboy Beast / プレイボーイ・ビースト

In a world where demi-beasts and humans co-exist, Riku Kurobuchi, a panther demi-beast, finds himself facing a dilemma. He is sociable, good looking, talented at sports, and popular with girls, but for some reason he still hasn't experienced his "heat" like everyone else. After an unexpected transfer, he begins sharing his dorm room with the mature and handsome albino lion demi-beast, Touma Shishigaya. Riku wants to keep his secret hidden from the confrontational Touma, but it's Touma's pheromones that bring about Riku's first heat.

Bakemono no Hanayome / ばけものの花嫁

Hinata's a fox who's become the bride of Kyouya, a member of the wolf pack. Their tribes are bitter enemies, but this marriage should bring about peace. Hinata's disguised as a female at the wedding and has ulterior motives for his soon-to-be husband: he plans to kill Kyouya, who's the son of the wolf pack's leader. The night of their wedding, he tries to carry out the assassination, but Kyouya catches on and he fails. Because he has nine tails, Hinata's even an outcast in his own pack and he decides to wants to die. But, instead of killing him, Kyouya says, "It's time for our honeymoon" and takes him prisoner.

Musebinake, Junjou / むせび鳴け、純

Yuki has a secret he can't tell anyone: he's actually a beast-person. Yuki has fallen in love with a regular customer, Godai, a man who hunts beasts for a living. If Godai finds out about his identity, their love and chances of being able to see each other will no longer be possible. Yet, Godai who gets chased out of his apartment suddenly ends up freeloading at Yuki's house. Will Yuki be able to hide his secret?

Yakimochi wa Kitsuineiro / ヤキモチはきつね色

Akiha came to Tokyo to attend school, but on his first day, he's molested on a crowded train. Surprised by it, he was struck dumb but one young man stepped in to help. As they talked, controlled by the fox he is possessed by, he suddenly hugged the young man to thank him.

Ok, that't it for part 1! What are some of your favorite ones?

[rocket-bear]

shinsena ghost fic outline

SO. on my last list of shinsena fic ideas I had written "shinsena ghost AU (yes, like the patrick swayze movie) but with an actually happy ending". I have decided that I'm not actually going to write this fic because 1) it would take forever and I have other ones that are bigger priorities for me and 2) the inspiration for it was really the MOUNTAIN of IT fix-it fics I was reading in early 2020 because I was Going Through It where I then shunted that inspiration over into a fandom I was actually comfortable writing for, and at this point I have moved past that stage and no longer need the catharsis,

BUT! I do really like the bits that I did already write for it, and I still love the idea, so I'm just going to go ahead and post the WIP bits that I did get finished, and then flesh out what the rest of my plan was after!

The fic takes place in Sena's second year of college! It's a ghostfic so, y'know, warning for major character death and copious discussion of grief, haha, but it gets better!!! Also, in addition to ShinSena there's BG mentions of HiruMamo in both the fic excerpts and bulletpoints for the rest of the planned plot. Text below the cut is about 6k words!

---------

"Aw, beans," is the first thing Sena hears after he dies.

He doesn't really process it in the moment, too busy blinking up at the bright, unclouded sun and distantly noticing that it doesn't hurt his eyes. He sits up, running through the last few moments in his mind-- a bouncy ball dotted with pink flowers, skipping merrily over the sidewalk into the street, a girl in her school smock tottering on chubby legs after it, a car unavoidably close, his view of everything blurring as he throws himself forward without even thinking about it--

Oh.

"EHHHH," he shrieks, and scrambles away from his body, and it doesn't come with him.

"I'm going to be in ;so much trouble," that voice says again, and Sena whips around because it's the only thing he can actually hear clearly, even though he's pretty sure he should be able to hear-- the other people around him, looking at his body without looking at him, everyone unharmed but most of them in tears, and he doesn't want to think about that.

So he looks, and sees-- something. It almost looks like an afterimage, at first, the kind of light-dark luminescent spots your eyes put up when you look away from a light you've been staring at too long, but it stays put as Sena stares at it, a kind of void of shifting light just stamped in the way of his view of the bushes lining the sidewalk.

"Um," he says, and the Thing kind of goes more dark-light than light-dark for a moment as it… sighs?

"Yeah, sorry, you're not getting me at my best, this wasn't supposed to happen," it says, and Sena feels like he would be hyperventilating if he had lungs, but he doesn't anymore.

"No, listen," the Thing says, and it starts to get bigger, which Sena belatedly realizes is because it's moved closer to him. With the way it doesn't actually seem to take up space, it's hard to tell. "Let's move away from here, okay? It's going to be hard for you to listen with all this going on."

And, well-- Sena casts a glance back behind him, to the people with their hands over their mouths and tears in their eyes and the pointless things they're doing to his body to try to bring him back to it, and he scrambles up to his feet and follows the thing.

"Okay, here goes," the Thing says as they move further away from the-- the scene, and then its voice changes. "Fear not, mortal, for your time on this plane has elapsed, and you have accomplished all that you were intended for. Your current form--"

"Wait," Sena says, fighting against the mesmerizing effect of the Thing's shifting lights in combination with its new, multilayered voice, high and low at once but somehow soothing. "I thought you said this wasn't supposed to happen??"

"Well, okay, yeah," the Thing says, its voice reedy and thin once more. "Your time actually isn't supposed to be up, but-- okay, did you know you're like, really fast? Like crazy fast. I was just supposed to nudge the driver once they stopped the car in time, you know, typical near-death experience stuff, but you jumped right through me before I was in place."

"You kill people by touching them?!" Sena skitters away from the Thing, and gets the distinct impression that the silvery flush it pulses in response is decidedly unimpressed.

"I can't kill you again," it says. "And we don't kill things, anyway. We just… mark them as finished. I got you out of the oven too soon, that's all."

That sounds a lot like it was only different from killing things in terms of word choice to Sena, but he doesn't say so.

"C-can-- can we fix it?" He asks instead, the first shards of ice-cold realization sinking in at last. He's dead. He's dead?

The Thing flares sigh-dark, and says, "You know this kind of thing has only happened like, four times before? Ever! Since the dawn of humanity! It's been like 20,000 years since the last time! I don't know off the top of my head, kid, I'm gonna have to look it up."

"Then-- there's a chance? How long will that take? What if-- I mean-- they're gonna take me to the hospital--"

The ice shards sink further into his body, but the Thing's voice is dismissive.

"If there's a way, that's not the body you're going to be coming back to; there's no way we're gonna be able to do this without rolling back the clock. So don't worry about the morgue, okay?"

Which-- was a relief, but Sena feels an empty sensation at the word "morgue" that he's pretty sure would have been nausea if he had a working stomach left to experience it.

Some of that must show on his face because the Thing comes to an abrupt stop, and its voice is more gentle as it says, "Okay, gameplan. If there's a way to get you back, it's gonna have something to do with the energy left over from your presence among the living. So go see your friends and family and see what you can figure out. Right now, you're a ghost, so there's got to be some way to tap into that energy."

Sena nods a little numbly at first, working on auto-pilot, and then nods more firmly as he actually processes the Thing's words. A plan! That means-- there's something he can actually do, while the Thing goes to-- "look it up." That's good! A plan!

And then, the Thing goes yellowish, and its tone turns apologetic.

"And… Speaking of ghost stuff, I didn't get to finish this part before. Your current form will let you move around this plane to visit your loved ones and grant yourself any closure you desire, but you won't be able to interact with the living world, and if we're not able to fix this in time-- when the time comes, you'll have to make a choice. Move on completely to the next plane, or stay here with your loved ones until there are none left who remember you."

Sena blinks, going still, and the Thing glows even more yellow.

"So we've got about [a month] to figure this thing out. I'll do what I can, kid. You hang tight."

And then it's gone, and Sena is left alone on the sidewalk.

He does all that he can do, and goes to find Mamori.

------

He doesn't think through the consequences of that until he gets to her apartment and finds her in tears and Hiruma on the phone, calling them an escort to the hospital. Every awful minute of that first day feels like nothing more than a smear in Sena's memory by the time his funeral comes around. He spends the time in-between trying his best to do something, anything, that will let his friends and parents know that he's still there. He does his absolute best to go full Hollywood Haunting on everyone he knows, trying to knock over pictures or rattle windows or flick lights on and off, but nothing works. Every once in a while, when he's flopped beside Mamori on the floor as she goes through photo albums, he almost thinks she hears him as he talks about the photos she's flipping through-- but it always just ends up being a fresh round of quiet tears that brings Hiruma over to her side.

The funeral seems to be no different. He'd hoped, somehow, that maybe having so many loved ones gathered in one place to think about him would somehow give him the energy to make himself solid-- and there are so many people there, not just Sena's family and closest friends, but people from nearly every team in the Tokyo American football community, some of them who he only ever remembered seeing across the field.

All of the original Devil Bats are there, of course. Kurita sobs his way through the service. The Ha-Ha Brothers stand stony-faced, and Juumonji scrubs a rough hand across his eyes, but Sena never sees any tears. Suzuna clings to Monta's arm as they both cry openly with Riku in the row behind Sena's parents, Mamori, and Hiruma.

His parents cry. Mamori seems too exhausted to, just sitting quietly and taking in the service with bruised red eyes. Hiruma puts his arm around her shoulder at one point, and Sena finds himself surprised by how much tenderness he's seen between them in the last few days. Hiruma had handled almost all of the arrangements, actually-- Mamori and Sena's parents making the decisions, and Hiruma diligently rising from each discussion to make the appropriate phone calls.

In the middle rows, Sena finds himself looking at Shin and Sakuraba. He shouldn't have been surprised to see them-- and he really wasn't, not really, he knew he would be devastated and would definitely show up if the situation was reversed-- but something on Shin's face startles him into looking again.

He looks tired. Sena doesn't think he's ever seen Shin tired, before, not even after playing full-out through an entire game, not even after the most intensive of training. But Shin's face is undeniably drawn, and the skin underneath his eyes is bruise-dark.

Sakuraba tears up, and Shin doesn't, but it's Sakuraba who lays a comforting hand on Shin's shoulder. [UNFINISHED SCENE-- also I had intended to go back and make this scene more accurately reflect Japanese (vs Western) funeral traditions but have not done that since, I'm not finishing the fic]

----------

He finds himself seeking out one of his and Shin's old training routes from high school, when they lived close enough that it made sense to share. It's been years since he ran this route, but it makes sense, he figures, that he would be revisiting old memories like this. It was a good route, anyway-- at one point it ran alongside the river, and Sena remembers reaching it on hot summer days, and noticing that even Shin tipped his face into the breeze when the sun was really beating down.

He walks along the path at first, but before long finds himself jogging, the force of memory and habit alike drawing him into those quick strides. It doesn't feel the same without the sensation of the wind on his face, or the heat of the sun on his body, or even the sweat beading up stickily between his skin and his clothes, but it's something.

Without fatigue or fear of obstacles to keep him vigilant, Sena finds himself startled before too long by the sound of steady footfalls coming up behind him. He automatically shifts his path to make way-- though it doesn't matter much now, he thinks with a frown-- and looks up as the lone jogger makes to pass him.

It's Shin.

Sena's not-heart squeezes painfully at seeing him unexpectedly, and Sena gapes.

"Shin-san--" He gasps, and of course Shin doesn't respond or look his way. Sena swallows the painful reminder and adjusts his pace to match Shin's.

They run together, and of course it's quiet, because Shin doesn't know that he has company. Not that companionable silence was atypical for their runs together before-- running was for focusing on technique, including breathing, so they would save the chatting for before and after.

Sena wonders if Shin had kept to running this path all along-- he was so sure that they'd both abandoned it when they'd made their way to university. Or at least, Shin had apologetically told him so, when he'd moved on to Oujou University and Sena was still in his third year at Deimon.

Maybe Shin's feeling nostalgic too, Sena thinks, and then shakes his head. He doesn't want to be sad, and it's nice to have Shin at his side, even if Shin doesn't know he's there.

He tries to sink into the feeling of running. It's still hard-- he can't feel much of anything, after all-- but with Shin there, it's a little easier to fall into old memories and let those guide him. He can pretend-- to feel the gentle breeze off the river cooling the sweat on his face, to feel the push of the sidewalk under his feet launching him into his next step, to feel how the sun is hotter on his back and shoulders than anywhere else as it crawls its way up the sky.

It almost feels like normal, finding that rhythm alongside Shin that has their steps striking the pavement in tandem, Sena's extra stride to make up for their heights a little accented half-note; that peaceful, focused haze that has them inhaling and exhaling in synch. It's so perfectly familiar that Sena can almost imagine a lump rising in his throat and the sting of tears in his eyes, nearly overcome with the twin sensations of having and loss--

--when Shin startles hard beside him and skids to a stop, with a gasp that has Sena's blood running cold before he even looks back for him, the image of the oncoming truck flashing through his mind.

But there's no truck here, of course. They're on a running trail, on a totally separate level than the road, but it's obvious enough what drew that terrifying, uncharacteristic noise from Shin's lungs when Sena looks back, and his eyes meet Shin's.

Shin sees him.

[UNFINISHED SCENE, this is the last of the actual fic that I wrote!]

---------

FROM THERE here was the plan:

- Shin being able to see him only lasts a split second. Shin's super shaken and keeps looking around and rubbing his eyes for a couple moments, and then he turns around and walks back to the train, and Sena-- thinking, like, "holy shit, Shin never skips training"-- follows him back, because even though it's super heart-breaking seeing Shin so shaken up it's also the closest he's gotten to making any progress the whole time

- Shin gets back to his dorm and just like. sits down at his table with his head in his hands. Sena's motivation to keep trying to get his attention kind of dries up so he pokes around Shin's dorm room instead and notices, like. a bunch of half-eaten meals/snacks in the trash, "Practice" scratched out on his calendar for the next few weeks, unmade bed, evidence that Shin's only really gotten dressed to go out jogging over the last few days and is only wearing his pajamas otherwise-- he's just not doing good.

- Just as Sena's like, really starting to grasp this, Sakuraba shows up at the door-- Shin gets up to answer the door with his back to Sena and like, whatever Sakuraba sees on Shin's face just stops him in his tracks and he immediately pulls Shin into a hug, which Sena is kind of shocked to see that Shin totally sinks into

- Sakuraba sits down with Shin at the table and they talk. Shin admits that he thought he saw Sena while he was jogging, and both of them are just brushing it off as like, a grief-induced sensory memory, stuff like that happens, etc. Sakuraba comforts him and encourages Shin to take it easy, it's okay to take time off of even his own personal training, it's okay if he needs more time, and also like fusses about Shin not getting enough to eat especially if he IS going to keep training

- Sena meanwhile is like, feeling awful with guilt but also just kind of overwhelmed with the realization of how important he was to Shin, and this is where I would've like, laid the groundwork for how they'd gotten closer during the rest of high school/early college but Sena still never rrreally understood how much Shin cared about him because 1) he's got self-esteem issues baybee, and 2) Shin is not exactly, like, super forthright about his feelings,

- but, while Sena DOES feel awful about how much Shin was shaken up about seeing him, it's the only thread he can think of to pull on to try and bring himself back, and he ALSO feels guilty about having to watch everyone grieve for him, so, well,

- he starts haunting Shin!! Shin does not listen to his good and helpful friend Sakuraba and goes jogging again the next day, but it's obvious that he's still feeling Off and he's having a hard time getting into a rhythm, and Sena isn't able to tap into ~whatever it was~ that made him visible the previous time and is feeling super defeated about it, UNTIL,

- Shin takes a break at the midpoint of his normal route, which is a thing Sena knows he does not generally do from their own training together, and is basically just slumped over on a bench with his head in his hands again and Sena's also feeling awful and helpless and does the same thing,

- and then Shin tenses up beside him, his breath getting shallow, and Sena notices and tentatively calls out to him. Shin slowly, slowly looks up, and they make eye contact for just a second again, before Sena can tell he's not visible anymore because Shin's eyes kind of unfocus and he looks away, and just gets up and goes home.

- This kind of refreshes Sena's determination, and over the next few days (IT WAS GONNA DEPEND ON HOW LONG I WANTED TO TORTURE SHIN) they repeat the same pattern, with Sena going on Shin's jogs with him and occasionally achieving small flashes of visibility(/audibility, though Sena isn't ever able to get out anything helpful before the universe mutes him again) which Shin seems to be determined to just brush off as grief illusions even as he gets more and more tense each time

- Until finally as they're jogging, Shin sort of tersely asks "Are you there?" and instead of saying anything Sena just tries to barrel into him for a hug because clearly auditory-visual haunting only isn't WORKING and we've gotta get some TACTILE FEEDBACK in here,

- and it works. He knocks Shin off of his stride, and Shin grabs for him in turn, and there's a moment where they both stare at each other in total shock and relief before Sena starts trying to frantically tell Shin the whole story and disappears out of his arms like, three words in.

- Shin has a little tiny mental breakdown in the middle of the sidewalk where he cycles from devastation at Sena disappearing again to trying to pull himself together like, "okay if this is real then this isn't my last chance because it's happened a lot over the past few days" to a kind of giddy catharsis because it's real Sena's really here to kind of shutting down over the idea that maybe it's STILL not real and he's just going REALLY crazy to actually pulling himself back together and going to find a bench to sit down on, and just like,

- talking things out, out loud, in hopes that Sena can hear him. He can only see Sena when they're running, which is something they used to do together, so maybe recreating old memories is what triggers it. He's noticed that even when running, he usually sees Sena in moments when he's feeling least conflicted/emotionally complex-- either pure grief or pure nostalgia or pure just-zoning-out-running, not as much when he's really struggling to process and has a lot going on internally at once. Maybe the stability of the emotion is part of it.

- Sena meanwhile is having his own meltdown from sheer overwhelming relief over FINALLY FINALLY making contact and Shin FINALLY FINALLY believing he's there and also just like making hearteyes at Shin for immediately going into full methodical Ghost Scientist mode after getting his own meltdown over and done with

- speaking of going full Ghost Scientist, Shin announces his intention to do exactly that by saying he's heading back to his and Sena's old running trail to test out the "recreating memories" theory right that second, and they head over.

- They jog, and Shin talks out some of his memories with Sena from his own perspective, which is a surprise for Sena because he doesn't even remember some of the things that Shin does and also it lets him actually understand what Shin was thinking in those moments.

- And most importantly: it works. It's not constant, but the longer they practice, the longer they're able to keep Sena in view for longer stretches of time, more of an unsteady flicker than the total off-or-on that it was before. They stay out for a long time (and in the process discover that other people still can't see Sena when Shin can as he continually gets weird looks for talking to thin air) and Shin actually eats a real meal when he finally goes home.

- Sena and Shin keep practicing over the next few days, which makes Sakuraba SUPER concerned because Shin spending hours and hours jogging every day looks like Shin further depression-spiralling from his perspective, but he's somewhat mollified by the fact that Shin's actually getting back to eating and getting dressed etc. normally, even though he's still not going to practice.

- During this time, Sena and Shin bond when they're actually able to communicate. Sena notices that Shin's parents haven't checked in on him even once despite the fact that he just lost a friend, and Shin confirms in one conversation that he basically doesn't have a relationship or emotional connection with his parents at all. (But watch, hang in there, I'm gonna fix it,)

- In the meantime, Shinigami-san tracks Sena back down and they both share what they've learned. Shinigami-san says that Sena has to gather energy from as many of the people he's formed bonds with as possible to chain himself more strongly to life, and gives him a pendant to wear around his neck that will store the energy. When Sena talks about his and Shin's experiments, It says that it makes sense that being emotionally and physically in-sync would help bolster the connection between them to the point where other people would be able to see him, and that if they practice enough they might even be able to just use one or the other (emotional sync or physical sync) without needing both.

- After Sena laboriously relays this to him through flickers, Shin gets a metronome and they both practice tapping their fingers to the rhythm, and they're finally able to see each other at Shin's dorm room vs having to be on a run and actively reminiscing together. They develop a system where when Shin wants/needs to see him, he'll tap his finger against the side of his leg and Sena will do the same thing so they can actually talk.

(- There is at least one moment in the development of this that, when Sena successfully appears in front of him, Shin smiles fondly and very softly says, "There you are," and Sena immediately disappears again because he's so shaken to his disaster bisexual core that he can't even handle it.)

- During this process they find out that Sena's pendant glows when Shin is reminiscing or otherwise talking about his feelings (but not the capital-L feeling) about Sena, which lets them know how to go about "gathering energy" from Sena's friends.

- With the clock counting down on Sena's deadline, Shin starts approaching Sena's friends to "check on them," or, to sit down with them and talk about Sena. It's a little awkwardly sweet on both sides, because no one expects Shin of all people to be making sympathy housecalls and Shin's not very good at talking about feelings, but the conversations are surprisingly genuine and cathartic for all parties (including Shin, who is still processing some weird sideways grief even with his new connection to ghostSena, and Sena, whose self-esteem issues have a hard time standing up under a deluge of people talking about how much they cared about and miss him), PARTICULARLY:

- Monta and Suzuna, where the reminiscing works a little too well and they actually see a flicker of Sena sitting at Shin's side during the conversation and freak out. Shin immediately changes tacks and tells them that Sena is there and that he's trying to bring Sena back and he needs their help, and at first this makes them freak out more because what the fuck but by virtue of Shin being… Seijuurou "Overly-Serious-Stoic-Never-Overreacted-In-His-Life" Shin, he convinces them to try the tapping technique to bring Sena back into view.

- Sena has Shin describe a memory involving the three of them while they tap along to Shin's rhythm, and the combination of reminiscing and tapping works well enough that they're able to get frequent enough flickers of Sena to believe Shin. Yes, they do get a least one good long group hug out of the flickers, I'm not a monster.

- Shin still has to do most of the communication for Sena because it would take a lot of practice for the Sena-Monta-Suzuna combo to get enough in-sync to be able to communicate effectively, but he explains the whole situation and all the information they've gotten from Shinigami-san. They decide that it still makes the most sense for Shin to field the energy-gathering housecalls for the same communication-based reasons-- Sena can guide Shin through the conversations by suggesting memories to bring up with his friends-- but all the same, Shin suddenly finds himself with two tiny new best friends who want to hang out with him all the time. (And not even just to talk to Sena! Suzuna and Monta become pretty attached to and curious about Shin after he shows them more of his vulnerable side in the conversation leading up to the point where they actually see Sena themselves.)

- I was going to go through little flashes of Shin's conversations with a lot of Sena's friends across the football world, but the other Big One was going to be Mamori, of course. (And a little bit of Hiruma, who refuses to sit down for an Emotional Conversation with fucking Shin, but will gladly peanut-gallery Mamori's out of his own repressed desire for catharsis and also to make sure with guns loaded that Shin doesn't fuck up the fragile acceptance Mamori's been building since Sena's death.)

- Having learned from the experience with Suzuna and Monta, Sena wisely sits out of view during the conversation because he actually doesn't want to put Mamori through the rollercoaster of seeing him again, especially if his and Shin's efforts fail.

- Shin does not fuck up his conversation with Mamori and so Hiruma doesn't have to murder him! It's actually the most honest-- and healing-- conversation he has with anyone. Mamori finds herself feeling very fond of Shin, who she didn't know was so close with Sena and could be so supportive and empathetic under all that stoic strength, and Shin finds himself immediately adopted by another one of Sena's loved ones.

(- In their conversation, Mamori also mentions that just after Sena passed she kept finding herself thinking she heard Sena's voice, because that seed in the actually-written bit above was in fact foreshadowing ohoho.)

- I was not going to Go Into It because not even I have the strength, but to continue the theme of Shin finding a new family via his bond with Sena, there was going to be a brief scene referencing that Shin's visit with Sena's parents went much the same, with the addition that Shin was surprised Sena's parents already knew so much about him (because as it turns out Sena talked about him FREQUENTLY.)

(- Also within the housecalls there's a comedy scene where Shin makes Sena solid just long enough for Sena to log Shin in on Skype so he can talk to Panther without sacrificing a computer, and they discover that international friendship energy gathering does in fact work.)

- AND THEN: SAKURABA. The fic would switch to Shin's POV from here! In Shin's energy-gathering conversation with Sakuraba, things are going well at first, with Sakuraba reminiscing about Sena and then turning the conversation toward Shin himself to talk about how he's noticed Shin's seeming a lot more steady and like he's been doing some real healing lately. Shin obviously does not explain the ghostSena situation, but does honestly say that his conversations with Sena's other friends have helped him process his feelings a lot. And Sakuraba, being a supportive friend, very gently says that he's proud of Shin for reaching out, and for doing so well when he's going through something so hard, because he can't imagine losing the person he was in love with.

- Shin freezes up, and Sakuraba tries to reassure him that it's okay, he's known for a long time, he's so sorry that Shin never got to actually process those feelings with Sena, and Shin doesn't have to talk about it but if he ever wants to Sakuraba's there for him-- and Shin very stiltedly deflects the whole conversation because he doesn't want to totally shut Sakuraba down when he's just trying to be supportive but also Sena is right there

- After finally, awkwardly shooing Sakuraba out the door, Shin sits back down and tries to Talk About It with Sena, but he's so emotionally frazzled that he's not able to get a stable connection. Since they can't have a two-way conversation, he just launches into apologizing-- he's sorry, he understands if it makes Sena uncomfortable, Sena doesn't need to feel obligated to respond to it and of course Shin is going to help him finish getting what he needs regardless--

- Sena's just RAPIDLY flickering in and out of view, with the time he's not visible getting longer and longer as Shin keeps talking because they are incredibly emotionally out-of-sync, and with Shin only able to tell that Sena looks upset whenever he's able to see him, he makes some Assumptions about Sena's feelings about his accidental confession.

- Things don't get better over the next day or two. They try to do their synchronizing exercises, but even reciting memories doesn't help because Shin is too anxious and ashamed (and sleep-deprived from stress) to connect to them emotionally, which is only compounded because he realizes that Sena's deadline is fast approaching and they won't be able to finish in time if he can't get his shit together but that anxiety Does Not Help with relaxing enough to synchronize when he's spiralling over the thought of losing Sena again because of something that he "did".

- Finally, Sena apparently gets desperate and snatches up the metronome during one of the moments when he's solid for just long enough to do it.

- Shin doesn't see him for a while after that, and assumes (correctly) that Sena has taken the metronome with him to try and sync with Monta and/or Suzuna instead, and also assumes (incorrectly) that this is because Sena is extremely disappointed with him at best and totally hates him at worst, and that either way Sena probably doesn't want much to do with him anymore even if he is able to be brought back.

- He spirals for like, A Day, after which he does in fact break and go to tear up very stoically on Sakuraba about how yes he was (is) in love with Sena and it hurts him that he'll never get to express that properly (now that Sena wants nothing to do with him) and how he feels like he let himself (and Sena) down by not being able to act on that earlier (when it wasn't a literal life-or-death situation) and how maybe he's just not cut out for emotions and connections with other people actually, just look at even his relationship with his parents???

- Sakuraba comforts him and very gently tells him he's being a catastrophizing dingus and shows him, like, a mountain of texts on his phone not ONLY from concerned fellow Oujous, but also from a bunch of the people that Shin's talked to about Sena over the last few weeks, all of them expressing the general sentiment of "wow I was super surprised when Shin came around to talk to me about Sena but I'm so glad he did, it looks like he's doing well, keep an eye on him for me" in varying levels of transparency because after all they are Manly Footballers, but regardless: look at that, Shin is actually perfectly capable of forming relationships with other people, and they like and care about him.

- This results in some decidedly less stoic tears, and Sakuraba and Shin successfully patch things up after their previous awkward discussion about Shin's feelings for Sena. When Shin leaves he immediately heads for Enma to try and find Monta, because even if Sena and his friends don't want to see him he absolutely can't just shrug and sit back and just wait to see if they manage to save him.

- When he's like halfway there, he comes across Monta and Suzuna heading in his direction, and they cut off his questions by just being like NOPE SHUT UP COME WITH US and dragging him over to like, a park gazebo for some semi-privacy.

- Suzuna gets the metronome out of her bag and sets it on the park table and turns it on. Monta pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and starts reading.

- It turns out that after he left Shin's, Sena ghosted up into Monta's room and just plopped the suddenly-appearing metronome down on Monta's desk, scaring the shit out of him but also giving a very clear signal of WE NEED TO TALK. Monta called up Suzuna and the three of them had spent the last day and a half working on synchronizing non-stop, and while they still aren't nearly as good as Shin and Sena had gotten with weeks' worth of practice, they got far enough along that Sena was able to have them slowly write out some of his memories with Shin, this time from his perspective, through the unsteady connection.

- Suzuna and Monta take turns yanking the paper back and forth between them to read out the description of Sena and Shin's memories, and with Shin tapping along to the metronome, he's able to see Sena more and more clearly over time until he's solid more often than not.

- As it becomes increasingly clear, even to Shin, that these specific memories Sena has chosen to share are a record of him coming to realize his feelings for Shin, Sena is eventually able to take Shin's hands and hold them without disappearing, tapping not needed. He interrupts Suzuna and Monta to try to finish off the confession himself: Shin didn't need to be scared when Sena found out about his feelings, because--

- Absolutely overwhelmed by everything about the last 36 hours and having no ability to process any of it in words ANYMORE but moved by the SPIRIT OF COMMUNICATION regardless, Shin gambles on the pretty sure bet that he and Sena are in-sync about this, and kisses him.

- It connects. (And connects, and connects...) Sena's pendant starts to glow brighter and brighter until he's totally enveloped, and--

- Switch back to Sena's POV! He wakes up on the street in front of the truck again, scraped up but otherwise totally unharmed. So are the little girl, who he successfully pushed out of the way, and the driver of the car, who stopped in time regardless. Shinigami-san is also there, and Sena tells It to leave the driver alone because It owes him one, and Shinigami-san congratulates him and tells him that hey hey that was the plan along!! (The onlookers assume that he's confused from the near-accident when he starts talking to thin air.)

- Sena waves off all the concerned onlookers and runs off to find somewhere to sit where he's not going to be gawked at so he can text literally everyone he knows. By the time he finds a bench, he's already gotten HOLY SHIT WE JUST TIME-TRAVELED ARE YOU OKAY??? texts from Monta and Suzuna, which he responds to and incites a flood of emoji-based cheering. Everyone else he texts is politely puzzled by his "are you okay???" message, including Mamori and his parents to his intense relief, except--

- He gets a call from Sakuraba, who sounds very confused as he tells him that Shin wants to talk to him. Sena reassures Shin that he's okay, and tells him to meet him at the park that they left off at, and also that he loves him because he can't restrain himself after not getting to say it before. Shin says it back, and Sakuraba therefore sounds both confused AND delighted when he gets the phone back from Shin to say goodbye.

- Sena texts Suzuna and Monta to meet him at the same place, since it's about halfway between Enma and Oujou, and starts running.

- Shin and Sena, being… Shin and Sena, get there before the other two, and there's so many tears and so much hugging and so many I Love Yous and also some apologies. Monta and Suzuna eventually arrive and there's another round of tears and hugging and I Love Yous, and when everyone is less punchdrunk off of trauma and catharsis, they sit down and figure out that it's only the people that actually saw Sena as a ghost that remember the other timeline.

- With the group understandably not ready to be separated under the circumstances, but also with Sena desperately wanting to see his parents, Mamori and Riku, he comes up with a thin excuse for an impromptu dinner party at his parents' place later in the day (celebrating passing a tough test? beat the Cupids in a football game? national pancake day?? doesn't matter!!!), clears it with them, and invites Mamori+Hiruma and Riku over as well. (Shin lets Sena arrange takeout for everyone on his dime so that Sena's parents won't have to cook for an unplanned dinner party.)

- Fic ends with the group heading toward Sena's parents' house, Shin and Sena holding hands, with Sena feeling content and confident in his relationships as his phone continuously blows up with people responding to his check-in text, and Shin admitting that he's feeling pretty hopeful about the idea of getting to form connections with Sena's family all over again.

END. Thanks for indulging my "I'm too lazy to write this but NOT too lazy to bulletpoint each plot detail beat-by-beat" post, haha!

[winterstarqueen]

Sora would teach a child about stranger danger especially if someone tried to take that child then Sora be like stop don't take her and Riku would also teach the child too

(Warning: possible kidnapping.) You are a very caring and sweet girl. You learned so much from Sora,Riku,Kairi and all of the guardians of light. You first met Sora,Riku and Kairi when the darkness took your home. You remembered feeling lost and scared at first. Because you couldn’t find your mom. Long story short you got reunited with your family and eventually learned to use a keyblade too. So,if any one of them needed you. You were there to help. One day you were selling cookies for sick children. Most of your friends bought almost all of them. You only had five boxes left. So,you went to Twilight Town to sell the rest. Soon enough you were left with two boxes. Sora,Riku and Kairi got into a long conversation with their friends. Normally you would wait for them. But,you saw a man who looked like fun.You pulled your wagon along and went up to him. “Hi. I’m selling cookies. Would you like to buy some Sir? The money goes to children who are in the hospital. I’m going to buy toys and fun bedding for them.” You said smiling. You couldn’t wait to go to the store. Kids like you would be happy with their new toys and comfortable bedding. “Okay kid. Here.” He said taking out a hundred dollars. No one has given you this much. “Thank you so much! The kids will be so happy!” You said with a huge smile. You were going to give him the cookies. He gave your head a pat. “Huh?” You asked confused. You didn’t know this guy at all. “I have a lot toys at my house. You could donate them to the hospital. You didn’t know what to think. The kids needed more toys and this man has more. “Okay. Let me tell my friends where I’m going first.” You said smiling. You were about to go to Sora. But,suddenly he grabbed your hand. “Let’s go now. That way we can give the toys to the kids today.” He said. “No thank you. I want to go with my friends. Sora tells me that a trip with friends is more fun!” You said. “Come with me. I have a kitten at home.” “Really? I love kittens. Maybe If I go just for a minute and then come back.” You said smiling. You were excited to see the kitten. “(Y/N)! Come back here!” Sora yelled pulling you away. It was so sudden that you began to cry. “You can’t have her!” Riku yelled at him. “What are you doing kidnapping a child you creep?!” Kairi yelled. After he was taken care of. Sora was in tears. “What were you thinking? You don’t ever talk to strangers!” Sora asked frowning. “Yeah,he almost took you away.” Kairi said. “But,I..” “When we realized that you weren’t there it scared us. Something really bad could have happened to you.” Riku said. You cried. “But,he was going to give the kids more toys.” You sobbed. Sora hugged you. “No he wasn’t. He only wanted to take you away and hurt you. That’s why he acted all kind.” Sora said. After you understood you dried your tears. Your friends helped cheer you up. Now you know don’t speak with strangers.

[sabineelectricheart]

Miyamairi

Summary: Olympia marks the evolution of her pregnancy with three milestones.

Rating: K - Intended for general audience 5 years and older. Content should be free of any coarse language, violence, and adult themes.

Words: 1600

Notes: Fluffy fluff to end all fluffyness. Enjoy. BTW, Miyamairi, or ‘temple visit’, is when the parents take their new-born to a temple, to celebrate a healthy birth.

Finding out she was pregnant was an event.

Of course, the much-expected pregnancy of Lady Olympia of the White could be nothing less, but still, the process of her finding out she was expecting her first daughter had been fraught with emotion.

She has struggled with illness to her stomach for days on end before she finally relented and left for the hospital. Riku, despite clearly concerned about the developments of her body, did not even consider the possibility of pregnancy, attributing her nausea to a stomach bug, but still urging her to look for professional help.

Not that she could blame him, anyways. Olympia knew that they had intercourse with astounding frequency, but she never managed to put two and two together.

Once there, after two different and consecutive sets of scolding from both Lord Sakyo and Kuroba alike, the doctors joyfully confirmed that yes, she was pregnant, almost twelve weeks along with a healthy little baby.

The woman remembers running a finger over the sonogram, staring in disbelief at the little dot in the picture.

Telling Riku, that was something.

“Riku, honey?” She called, as she passes through the paper blinds into the small study they kept at home.

After their vows, Riku and Olympia moved to the Blue district, to a house near the leader’s compound. It was a new build, on cleansed ground due to haku. Her husband, while he used to have a house, it also had to be purified after his foster mother’s death, and so he gave it away and moved away to the military headquarters.

It had been decided that they would not be moving into the main house, even after Riku succeeds Shura in the leadership. Due to her position as a White, Byakuya splits her time between Tenguu and Tennyo, and it would be cruel to displace a woman in her old age just so the man can live mostly by himself. They would all feel more comfortable with the smaller home.

“Yes, Byakuya?” He answers, looking up from his seat on the couch, placing a bookmark in the book he had been reading.

She twists the sash of her kimono in nervousness. “There is not an easy way for me to say this, so I am just going to spit it out.”

“What? What is wrong?” Riku asks, concern taking over his features.

“No, no. Nothing is wrong!” She quickly answers, dispelling his immediate concerns.

“What is it, then?” He presses.

The white-haired woman took a deep breath. “Riku, I am pregnant.”

His eyes widen, falling to her stomach as if he could see the baby through layers of fabric and tissue.

“You are pregnant?” The aristocrat asks breathless, as if the news had winded him.

She supposed it may very well have. It had certainly winded her.

Olympia gestures an enthusiastic nod. “Yes.”

He raises a hand, approaching her cautiously, as if afraid of touching her. “With my child?”

“Yes, with your child.” She chuckled. “Do you want to see her?”

“Do you have a picture?” Riku splutters, uncouthly.

She nods, reaching for the sonogram she kept in her purse. “The hospital managed to develop a way to see into the body using soundwaves. They said it was called a sonogram. They took a picture and were even able to tell me how far along I was! I am almost twelve weeks along.”

Riku takes the paper picture from her hands. His hands are shaking as he takes in the sight of the tiny foetus.

“That is our child.” He whispers, holding out an arm for her.

Olympia sniffles as she walks into his embrace, his arm wrapping tight around her waist. He buries his face in her hair, hiding the tears that have started to line his eyes.

A moment of silence, and then: “Can you point her out? I cannot seem to find her.”

“She is here, Riku.” Olympia directs, pointing to the little dot on the dark image of her inner womb. “That is our baby.”

Riku turns to her in wonder, a finger running over the sonogram, repeating, “That is our baby.”

*_*_*_*_*

Olympia begins to hum the familiar tune that her father had often sang to her late at night, whenever she refused to sleep or woke up from a nightmare. She understood even at young age that it was rare for him to cross the strait into Tennyo Island, and so would often petulantly deny her parents marital privacy, lest he left without spending appropriate time with her.

So, he would pick her up in her arms and walk along the beach, pointing to the celestial bodies and humming a lullaby that would have her asleep smelling the incense on his clothes.

Her hands tap her bump gently, in time to the melody that she could sing in her sleep. She laughs lightly as she is rewarded with a kick from her baby.

Riku watches the scene, utterly enthralled at the sight before him. His wife sitting cross-legged on the couch, singing to his unborn child.

He did not think it was possible for him to love Byakuya even more, yet here she was, proving him wrong at every stage of her pregnancy. What seemed an ocean, unending and unbound, seemed to grow larger and larger as he realizes the extents that he will go to protect the unborn baby she carries as well. His heart seems to soar infinitely.

Her lullaby, however, inevitably comes to an end.

“Oh!” Olympia gasps, the baby kicking her again. “You enjoyed that, did you not? Shall we sing it again?”

She picks up the familiar melody from the start, laughing as the baby continues to kick her.

Her pink eyes shine as she calls out, “Riku, come here and feel this!”

He does not need to be told twice, as he is kneeling in front of his wife in an instant, his hand pressed to her bump.

“Are you ready?” The solar priestess asks, putting her hand on top of his.

Riku nods, more than ready for this.

She takes a deep breath before beginning the song for the third time, crooning the words to her daughter in her stomach. It takes less than a minute for Riku to feel the swift kick against his hand.

His eyes shine with unshed tears, surging forward to catch her lips in a kiss.

“You are amazing, you are absolutely incredible.” He whispers against her lips.

“We could have a singer on our hands, Riku, or a musician.” She laughs, rubbing her bump.

“I do not know about that, wife.” The man smiled, mesmerized by the mental images that he conjures. “I believe that, between you and I, she is more likely to be a born dancer.”

Byakuya laughs again, humming her agreement.

“Would you teach me, please?” He asks, suddenly.

Her eyes twist in mild confusion. “Would you want to learn the lullaby?”

Riku nods, his hands still placed on her stomach, eager to feel his daughter kick again.

Tears spring to her eyes and she knows it is not anything to do with the hormones but rather Riku himself. The sight of him kneeling before her, more than happy to learn a lullaby from the Outer Worlds that her father would to sing to her as a child so he could sing it to their child.

She sniffs. “Of course, love, of course I can teach you. Follow my lead.”

The rest of the afternoon is spent like that; wrapped in a cocoon of bliss and happiness as Olympia teaches Riku countless lullabies and songs from her childhood that he could sing to their daughter once she arrived. His favourite one, the one that he would consistently return to, though, was the one she sang first, the one which he saw the look of utter elation across his wife’s face as she sang to her stomach.

“I can barely wait for her to get here.” He whispers, caressing her bump.

“She is going to have you wrapped around her chubby little finger.” Olympia mocked lightly. “I think she already has.”

“Certainly.” The man concurs, earnest. “So does her mother.”

She runs a hand through his long blue hair, cupping his cheek.

“She’re going to be a wonderful father, Riku.” The dancer told her husband, taken with the need for such at that moment. “She is going to be the most looked after girl on the planet, she shall not want for anything.”

“That she will, wife, and I promise you that.” He smiles and kisses her on the cheek.

*_*_*_*_*

It was all worth it. Every contraction was worth it for the bundle of rich blue blankets now being held by her already devoted father.

After what felt like an eternity, she was here, safe and sound, hitting every mark for good health. A rarity amongst children of Primary Colour parents.

Riku walks around the hospital room as he gazes down at his daughter. Her hand tightly grips one of his fingers and he wonders if this is what every parent feels when they finally meet their child. An overwhelming sense of love for both the child and the mother.

Speaking of the mother, he looks up to see her attention already on him and her daughter.

“She is perfect.” He whispers.

Tears well in Olympia’s eyes as Riku returns his attention to the bundle in his arms, rocking her gently side to side. They start to fall as he starts to hum the opening bars to the lullaby she taught him only a couple of months ago.

*_*_*_*_*

Olympia Soirée Masterlist

[mavii-arts7]

Episode 5 Recap and thoughts

Before reading this, I assume you have already watched episode 5 of IDOLiSH7 Second Beat. If not, then I suggest you discontinue reading and go watch it. I am not going to tell you where to watch it. That is something you need to figure out on your own.

Long post ahead

Before spreading the hate for Tenn, please read this.

I am writing this to lay out a few of my thoughts of the mentioned new episode. To those who had played the game, they have pretty much knew what happened and why they happened. But for anime watchers alone, this would be solely targeted to you.

The beginning of the episode has Kujo Tenn of TRIGGER /finally/ entering the Takanashi dorms and is greeted by Yotsuba Tamaki of IDOLiSH7. Tamaki was then given a gift, the Osama Pudding that Tenn had promised from when Tamaki, along with Rokuya Nagi and Nikaido Yamato, helped him get to the concert venue in time for the TRIGGER concert in season 1, episode 4. Tenn then asks where Riku is and Tamaki pointing out the direction. The next scene is when Riku is sitting in his non-lit room and is watching TRIGGER's live, showing Tenn on the screen. There was a knock on the door ---to which Riku responded that he wasn't hungry yet. Still, the door opened and then comes a surprise....

...The pink haired center that was shown on the screen, had appeared before Riku at the door.

It was soreal for Riku to see his older brother in front of him, that he even cupped his brother's cheeks and pinched his own just to check if it was merely a dream or not. Turns out, the latter was the fact. The twins sat down parallel to one-another and you can see Riku's excitement and nervousness to be in front of his brother once again, despite what happened in episode 3. Tenn asks how Riku is and if he likes someone, to which the redhead answered he wasn't sure or he doesn't have. And then Riku asks if Tenn has one as well, to which Tenn replied, that he loves his fans.

(Correction: Riku asked if Tenn likes someone. Then Tenn bounces it back to Riku and then back to Tenn. @.@)

This is the part that gets interesting. Tenn then starts to lecture Riku about keeping a promise to the fans and that it is part of their job as idols, to complete such task despite the worst circumstances. And then Tenn practically threw a bomb at Riku by saying to quit being an idol for the second time. Now I won't narrate into further details but basically, the talk resulted into a conflict. Riku now thinks that his brother never needed him and that he and his family were abandoned by Tenn because of how Tenn realizing that their family's club's performances were affected by the financial crisis that they were facing. Which I assume that some people may agree on Riku's notion.

I am not aiming to be biased. In fact, I love both the twins myself. But mainly, I just wanted to point out Tenn's side, before you say anything bad about him. If you have or have not noticed, the scenes where Tenn mostly appears, and during his moments of having worried and frustrated expressions, even amplifying his voice, are usually being emphasized by the amazing staff within the respective animation studio, that created this anime. I have to say, Orange really did a good job of making this comeback episode and with good animation quality as well. The episode was well-paced in my opinion, although it could come by as fast-paced because of a number of things that happened within this episode alone. They did their best to squeezed it all in. If you have read the story and played the game, you can pretty much feel the same or similar feeling of being in a rollercoaster ride when you come across this particular chapter/arc. So, I'd say this is really a job-well-done!

Back to my point. Tenn's expressions and actions in this episode are given close attention as I have said earlier. Not to mention that scene towards the end, I can almost feel like he's trying to hold back his feelings and even his tears. That, to me, gives an impression that this episode is mainly focused on how Tenn wishes for Riku to understand why he is doing all this, to say what he wanted to say for the longest time. To be honest, I feel pity for him more than Riku. Yes it hurts seeing Riku being told off but if you look at it from Tenn's perspective, you would somehow understand where he is coming from.

For the anime viewers, let's just say that the twins really go awhile back. Let me ask you this; If you were the oldest son/daughter in the family, then you have a sibling that is sickly and then your parents don't have enough funds for your younger sibling's hospital bills, what would you do?

If you think about it, Tenn might have a reason as to why he wanted Riku to quit. Yes he can come across as too strict. People might think that Tenn is being too harsh and inconsiderate by saying that Riku might not have what it takes to survive the idol industry, with his illness and all that. Or that he's being selfish as well. If you think Tenn is in the wrong then that is understandable. But Tenn is just a human character. Yes he may seem perfect, but he does have flaws as a human being. He may have faults within all these as well. And that's what I think this episode is about. Well, I can't blame you for thinking otherwise because I used to think like that as well. I used to say something like "Tenn scares me because he's too strict and he's giving Riku a hard time.", when in reality, as the story progressses, it wasn't like how I initially thought.

All I can say is that, this episode left lots of hints as well. I do recommend you to tune in on the next episodes, it'll become more and more eventful. I guarantee you that. Here's to hoping that the writers will continue on staying true to the plot. Because this is just TOO GOOD to miss out or taken away.

What are your thoughts about Tenn? Feel free to comment and share your thoughts. Although I hope there isn't too much hate on him. But of course, you're free to hate on him if you want but do it for the right reasons. That's all for now. I didn't think this would be a long review. Let's look forward to the next episode together!!

[paintedwithapalette]

SoKai Week Day 4 - Together

Words: 3,545

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Useless. 

Insignificant. 

Worthless. 

These were just a small portion of the words that ran through his mind as he trudged down the empty road with nothing and no one to keep him company aside from a backpack with water and a few of his favorite snacks. Sora stopped walking, planting his feet firmly in the middle of the asphalt road and the weight of his own loneliness truly settled in. 

This was it. He was going to go through with it. No backing out now. 

He tried, he really did. No one could say he didn’t. No one could say he didn’t train for days on end. No one could say he didn’t travel in hopes of looking for a cure that would bring an end to this horrible disease that plagued countless worlds. No one could say that he didn’t give it his best every single day and that he didn’t pour his own sweat, tears, and yes, sometimes even blood, into doing his absolute best to uphold the honor of being the chosen one. 

With his lifeless eyes, he summoned his Keyblade. Simple in its design but effective. A sentient Key that chose one person per generation to maintain order in the universe. To solve any problem that threatened the balance between light and darkness. Centuries of chosen wielders before him and only once had it chosen wrong. 

But as far as Sora was concerned, it chose wrong again. How was he supposed to live up to the legacy Zack Fair left behind? Sora couldn’t do anything on his own. Without Zack holding his hand, he was worthless. Maybe if he had developed any sort of competence in his months of training, he might have found a cure to resolve the geostigma crisis by now. Maybe he would’ve found a way to save the lives of thousands, no... millions... if he were someone else. Maybe if he were just a fragment of the man Zack was, he could’ve done something.  

And maybe, just maybe... he wouldn’t have let Eraqus die. 

Eraqus was counting on him to do something - to find a cure and bring him back to health. Sure, Sora was only sixteen and it was a lot of pressure to handle, but he had the Kingdom Key, so naturally that meant he was supposed to put the pieces of the puzzle together, right? 

Wrong. In the end, he was a failure who could only let down the people he cared about most. 

The boy chosen by the mysterious Kingdom Key. What a joke. 

As his eyes devoid of life wandered up and down the blade, he couldn’t help but wonder why. Why did the Keyblade choose him? It must have had its reason, it always did, but whatever reasons they were didn’t connect with him. All he wanted was a simple life where he could be a regular teenager, have fun with his friends, and just be normal. He didn’t ask for this. He didn’t ask for this responsibility. This pressure. The weight of the world sitting on his shoulders when he wasn’t even old enough to drink. None of it made any sense. 

It must’ve been a mistake. The fact that he let Eraqus die proved it was a mistake. Sora gripped the handle of his blade so hard that his knuckles were turning white.

“You were wrong!” Sora yelled as he tossed the Keyblade, sending it crashing into the pavement. Sora glared, as hard as he could before he settled into his prior look of indifference. He turned on his heel to leave the Kingdom Key in the middle of the road, hoping that it got run over by a car before he felt something pop back into his hand with an accompanied flash of light. Sure enough, when he looked down, it was the Kingdom Key refusing to leave his side. 

Clenching his teeth, Sora hurled the Keyblade once again. And like a broken record, he heard that familiar flash and the Keyblade return to his possession. With an agonized cry, Sora threw the Keyblade a number of times, his uncharacteristic sense of anger and resentment fueling every futile attempt at discarding himself of the burden the universe set on him. 

After a while, he hadn’t even noticed the fact that he threw his backpack aside and that dark sky was now dropping pellets of raint. His mind could only focus on trying his best to keep the Keyblade away and maybe eventually it would get the memo and just stop returning to him. But it never did. No matter how many times Sora pushed the Keyblade away, it kept stubbornly coming back. 

After his final attempt and the Keyblade returned once again, Sora stopped, his breathing heavy and dense. The rain continued to drench his clothes and slide down his brown spikes. When the dust cleared and his anger subsided and all that was left was... 

Sadness. 

It was the utmost level of dejection he had felt all day. It was clear that there was no way that the Kingdom Key would be leaving his side. But why? He was obviously no good. He was positive there was someone out there better than him to save all of the lives that were being ruined by this geostigma ordeal. 

That was why he had to kill himself. 

The Kingdom Key typically didn’t switch users until the current one was deceased. Then, and only then, would the Kingdom Key move on to the next suitor. Maybe if he was erased from the equation, the Kingdom Key would find someone strong, confident, and sure of themselves enough they would be able to locate some sort of remedy to this ever-growing dilemma affecting the worlds. Someone like Riku. His best friend. He always wanted to be the chosen one. Compared to Sora, he actually deserved it. 

Yes, it was the only way. He would go to the Play Island. Spend his final day appreciating all of the memories he and he friends had made during his sixteen years of existence, enjoy his final meal, write a letter to his friends saying how much he’ll miss them, how much he would miss her, and then… he’d plunge himself in the deepest, darkest depths of the sea and - 

“Sora!” 

He heard a voice. Her voice. 

Sora turned around and there she was; she looked like a ray of hope as she stood underneath the light of a street lamp - wet wrinkles drooping from her clothes and her hair drenched. A shivering sheen of liquid covered her eyes as her worried and gloomy expression told Sora everything he needed to know. 

Sora’s eyes still remained lifeless and that bothered Kairi even more. He couldn’t even look her in the face. Not if he wanted to suppress the tremendous guilt that came about over what he was about to do. They stood in silence, Kairi’s lips quivering. She’d never seen him like this - at his lowest. She barely recognized the person standing before her. This wasn’t the usual, upbeat, cheerful Sora she knew. 

But she was going to bring him back. 

“What are you doing here?” Sora asked. 

Kairi shook her head. “That doesn’t matter,” she answered. “I think the better question is what are you doing out here?” 

Sora opened his mouth but realized it wasn’t such a simple question with a simple answer. The layers to the situation were too vast for Kairi to understand. Even still, despite what he thought, Kairi had an inkling for why he was out there. His reaction back at the hospital gave her enough of a hint. 

“It’s not your fault,” was the first thing Kairi said after a stint of silence. 

“How can you say that?!” Sora asked, his frustration flaring. “How is it not my fault, Kairi?! I’m the one the Kingdom Key chose! I’m the one everyone expects to do something about this, and I just… I-I can’t, okay? I just can’t!” 

“But no one is putting this on you,” Kairi reminded. “This was just... an unfortunate incident that no one could have predicted. You can’t blame yourself for that.” 

“And why can’t I? I was the one everyone expected to do something about it. But I couldn’t. I can’t. And he’s dead.” 

Kairi didn’t say anything for a moment before she opened the gates of conversation once again. “Sora. Why are you out here?” she asked again. Like before, she received no answer. “Whatever is going on, we can figure it out. I’m here for you, Sora! I told you that I would be and I meant that.” 

Sora shut his eyes, holding back the tears he didn’t want Kairi to see. He really didn’t deserve her. And she deserved better than him. “Kairi... I’m sorry... I just can’t do this anymore...”

She was almost afraid to ask. “What... what do you mean by that?” 

Through the rain, he smiled. Though, clearly a sad one. “Don’t worry. You won’t have to deal with me anymore. Maybe... you’ll find someone better to worry over. You’re an amazing person, the way you look after your sister, Haru, me...” Sora’s eyes lowered. “I think I can truly say that I’ve never met someone like you before. I guess that’s why... I fell in love with you.” 

Kairi gasped, her eyes wide as saucers. He said it. He really said it. 

“I guess now at least... I won’t have any regrets,” Sora continued. “I wanted to at least tell you that, but I just couldn’t find the right time or place... but now, when you think of me, you’ll know. You’ll know how I feel. How I always felt.” 

“What are you talking about, you dummy?” Kairi asked, her voice choking as she used both arms to wipe away her tears like a child scolded by their parents. To see him acting so uncharacteristic hurt more than she ever anticipated. “Why are you saying these things, Sora?” 

“Please don’t cry,” Sora said gently. “I know it’s hard, but you’re strong Kairi. You’ll be okay. I know you will.” 

“What are you talking about?! Answer me, Sora!” 

“I know Riku has always liked you,” Sora continued, as if he weren’t even listening. “You know, he asked me once if I wanted to talk to you before he did. But I didn’t think I had a chance. Maybe I still don’t. So, I let him know that I wouldn’t take offense if he talked to you first. So, I guess I just thought it wouldn’t be right to tell you how I feel knowing how Riku felt. But it won’t matter now. Even still, I wanted to at least let you know...”

“Stop that!” Kairi cried out, clutching her chest as the pain in her heart swelled. She didn’t even bother trying to stop the stream of tears pouring from her eyes. “J-Just stop!” 

Sora sighed. He supposed the least she deserved was an explanation. “Don’t feel bad... I think I just realized that the Kingdom Key made a mistake. All I’m going to do is fix that mistake. I’ll make things right.” 

“You don’t really mean that...”

“If you, or Riku, Donald, Goofy, the King, Roxas, Naminé... you,” he almost stuttered. “If any of you got geostigma... what am I supposed to do then? I’m not going to sit here and watch as my friends die because I’m too weak to save any of you! I can’t do that, Kairi. That’s why...” he said, hesitating, “it’ll be best for everyone if I’m not here.” 

“Do you hear yourself right now?!” Kairi yelled. “You’re not even thinking about how much it’ll hurt the rest of us if something happened to you! How it’ll hurt me... doesn’t... doesn’t that matter to you?” 

Sora couldn’t look her in the eyes anymore. “You’ll be better off,” he stated bluntly. “Trust me.” 

“Sora, you’re not in your right mind! None of the previous chosen ones have been perfect. You can’t expect that of yourself. We’ll get you some help. I’ll help you! Let’s just go back to the hospital and figure this out! We can do it together!” 

When he found the willpower to look in her eyes, it was a face Kairi was certain she didn’t recognize. That droopy exterior of his only brought one word to mind for her. 

Loneliness. 

She could tell that her words weren’t getting through to him. No matter what kind of logic she mustered, it couldn’t connect. It looked like the Sora she knew was gone, but she refused to believe that. He must have been there... somewhere, deep inside. Kairi just had to pull that out. 

“Kairi... I’m sorry,” Sora said, breaking the silence. “I don’t want you to follow me. I don’t want you to see what’s about to happen... but just... I know what I’m doing. And this is the right thing to do.” 

“No, it isn’t!” 

“The Kingdom Key will move on to someone better. They’ll find a cure and maybe they’ll find a way to save all of the lives ruined by geostigma. Maybe it’ll be someone who wasn’t chosen by accident.” 

“Sora!” 

“You won’t be alone. Roxas, Naminé, Lea, Xion... Riku... they’ll be here for you.” 

“Sora, listen to me!” 

“And just know that to me, you were someone very special.” He smiled sadly. “From the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were someone special. I think... leaving you is what’s going to hurt the most.” Sora felt some tears sneak up on him and he quickly wiped them away with the sleeve of his jacket. “But... this is what’s going to be for the best. For everybody. I know it won’t be easy, but just know that when I’m gone, I always appreciated you for the way you made me feel better even on my worst days. You always supported me through and through. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend…and the time we spent together...  will always be precious to me.” 

At this point, Kairi was bawling. Each and every word stung harder than the last. How could he be saying these things while knowing what he was about to do? She couldn’t make sense of it but she knew she wasn’t supposed to. She just wanted him to snap out of it, but how? 

Sora was such an amazing person. The way he lit up a room with just his presence. The way his smile made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. The way he brought people together. The way he cared for other people. That was why the Keyblade had chosen him. It wasn’t because he was the strongest, the fastest, the toughest... that wasn’t how the Keyblade went about its choosings. It was the kind of person he was. His compassion for others. His kindness. All of the good points. Why wasn’t he seeing that? 

Then again, she had dealt with someone with depression before. Naminé had been struggling with it for years, so this was just another case of that. But even Naminé had never been this severe. And Kairi was left unsure what to do. All she could do was cry and hope that her tears were enough to convince him that everything his brain was telling him was wrong. But it wasn’t that easy. 

The pain wouldn’t stop. It was welling up deep inside and was bursting at the seams. She clenched her fists and stopped listening to her head, but her heart. What was she supposed to do? She had to do whatever felt right in that moment. 

She didn’t have long to ponder, however, as Sora turned around. “Kairi... goodbye.”

“I LOVE YOU, TOO!” 

That’s when everything stopped. Sora whirled back around, his eyes wide and confused. He didn’t hear that, right? “What...?” 

“I love you, too,” she said softly. 

“No.” 

“No?” 

“No,” Sora affirmed. “You can’t do that. That’s not true. You like Riku, and you’ve always -” 

“Oh, so now you know how I feel?!” Kairi asked, her temper flaring up again. “It doesn’t work that way! Stop acting like you know everything and listen to me for once!” When he didn’t say anything, Kairi took that as her cue to continue. “I’m sorry, Sora, but you can’t speak on behalf of my feelings. And I’m not just saying this because I don’t want you to do anything stupid. I’m saying it because it’s true.” Her tears continued to flow freely. “I... I love you, too, Sora.” 

Sora stopped, letting the revelation process. “W-Why are you telling me this now?”

“I’m a coward too, sometimes.” She chuckled humorlessly. “But you deserve to know. You’re special to me, too. You made me realize that I do have more to offer to the world. You always make my day better. You’re always there for me and... I love you. I love you so, so much, Sora.”  

His mind was so foggy and cluttered that it didn’t even seem like a possibility. He thought he was nothing more than a friend she cared deeply for. Though, he supposed even if that were the case, she still wouldn’t be okay with his plans. 

Still, what was he supposed to do? Wasn’t he supposed to end things here and now, allowing the Keyblade to move on to a more suitable wielder? Sure, he could still do that, but knowing that Kairi returned his feelings, all this time... it definitely made it a bit harder for him to do that. 

“What am I supposed to do…?” Sora asked quietly to no one in particular. When Kairi didn’t have an answer, Sora’s conflicted emotions exploded in the form of a scream as he put his hands on his forehead. He fell to his knees, his hands still hovered over his ears. During his clouded thoughts convincing him that suicide was the only answer, he almost forgot about it. 

Love. 

Not just the love he had for others, but the fact that others loved him, too. 

And Kairi loved him in that way? He could hardly process it. 

Kairi raced towards him in a panic, her black and pink boots splashing in the murky puddles until she kneeled down to make sure he was okay. Sora found the strength to look up from his state of confusion. “You’re... not lying to me, are you? You’re not just saying that?” he asked. His voice almost sounded desperate. Kairi figured he was still dealing with the thoughts that convinced him he was being lied to. So, she figured the only way to prove it to him was to show him. 

And show him she did, as she pressed her lips against his. 

It caught him by surprise for a moment, but it didn’t take long for him to give in as he shut his eyes. The rain continued to pour during their moment that edged dangerously close to the margin of passion. It was a longing and need that hadn’t been quenched for either of them in what felt like so long. It took just about every fiber of strength in them both to break apart, as Kairi wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, pressing her forehead with his. 

“Do you believe me now?” Kairi asked. 

The question was enough to give Sora the ghost of a smile, but it didn’t take long before it returned to its prior frown. “I guess I just don’t know... if I’m someone worth loving.” 

“Stop that,” Kairi demanded. “You don’t get to decide how I feel. And this is what I feel. So, you’re just going to have to deal with it. I don’t care what you say.” 

Silent tears continued to fall from her eyes as she continued to hug him. Sora gradually went from standing on his knees to sitting cross-legged, but Kairi didn’t let go. She needed him to know that she wouldn’t let go. That he had someone there for him that would never let go. Their damp clothes and the fact that they were very likely to catch a serious cold didn’t matter... as long as they had each other. 

“Don’t you ever go doing something like that again, okay?” Kairi asked. “That’s not the Sora I fell in love with.” 

Sora felt his eyes beginning to well up. She was right. He couldn’t believe he was seriously considering that. So many people were counting on him. The Kingdom Key chose him for a reason, and while it may not have been a reason he understood, it knew what he was capable of inside. 

And, if nothing else, he had this amazing girl there to support him. To save him from himself. He forgot that his bonds with the people closest to him was what gave him strength. He had to be thankful for that. 

“I’m... so sorry, Kairi,” Sora said, choking up. 

“Don’t you ever do that again,” Kairi repeated. “Promise me.” 

She knew how seriously Sora took his promises. Once he made one, he would never, ever break it. “I promise.” 

Kairi mustered up a smile through her tears as she nuzzled into Sora’s soft hair. “It’s going to be okay,” she comforted. “We’ll figure this out. Together.” 

_______

Shoutout to my amazingly talented friend @blissfulnightrain​ for drawing this this page! You’ll be able to check out the full piece on her page! 

[atomic-taco-muffin]

The Lost Princess Chapter 8

Warnings: angst, angst, and a whole bunch more angst. fluff at the end though 

Rating: SFW

Mickey was walking in the forest in Twilight Town while wearing the Organization jacket and spotted a man wearing the same coat. The two of stared at each other for a moment and the man took his hood off. Mickey gasped and jumped back and summoned his keyblade. Ansem looked at Mickey and smirked. He put a blindfold on and transformed into 

“Riku!” Mickey said as he ran to him. 

“Your Majesty,” Riku said. 

“Gosh, I’ve been worried about you! Where have you been all this time?” 

“I’ve been...searching for a way to conquer the darkness within me while we wait for Sora to awaken and also finding (Y/N).” 

“I know you want to protect her. She’s very special.” 

“She’s more than special. She’s my best friend. Along with Sora’s.” 

“The way you looked--” 

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m getting the hang of keeping the darkness under control.” 

“And Sora...Did something go wrong with fixing all his memories?”

“There’s a reason the Organization’s been quiet since our battle at Castle Oblivion. And now I know it’s not because a depletion in members had made them weak. Taking Sora’s memory apart piece by piece was only the first step in what they were trying to do at Castle Oblivion. And I think they needed more time to fix his memory.” 

“You know, you and me were both looking into what the Organization was up to, but what I saw didn’t look like much. Almost like they were trying to buy some time...” 

“Right. Sora’s memories are what they’re after. Along with (Y/N)’s powers. And they needed all this time until now to absorb every piece of it.” 

“Huh?” 

“The process of putting his memory back together has gone nowhere...They have what’s most precious to Sora...his memories of Kairi.” 

“Well, then you have to let me help! Maybe I could get the memoires back! And maybe save (Y/N) from the Organization!” 

“I’ve got that covered, Your Maji--I mean Mickey. Instead, I wanted to ask you for a favor.” 

“What would that be?” 

“I have to face one of the Organization members soon. Apparently, they know about (Y/N)’s past and the secrets to her powers. I might not survive the fight. And if I do, it might be because I gave in to the darkness. That means you’re the only one who will be there for Sora, Donald, Goofy, and hopefully (Y/N)--the only one who can guide them when they’re safe.” 

“Riku...” 

“Promise me, Mickey. When our friends are found, you have to be there to help them out.” 

“I promise, Riku.” 

~~~~

You and Vanitas were walking around the castle grounds, getting to know each other better. It was nice to see your grumpy brother being happy. Especially around you. The two of you were heading back into the castle when all of a sudden a group of Neoshadows appeared. You hid behind Vanitas as he summoned his keyblade. 

“Now, now Vanitas. (Y/N) should learn how to fight against these creatures herself.” You looked up and saw your father standing on your balcony. 

“Daddy? Why are you doing this?” you asked. 

“It’s time for you to embrace your powers. Show me your dark side.” 

“I’m not gonna let that happen,” Vanitas said. 

“Does my pupil betray me to protect a spirit? Pathetic,” Xehanort said. You were so confused at what he meant by the word spirit. What did he mean? And what did he mean about your powers and the dark side? It suddenly hit you that your father was full of darkness. 

“Daddy? Please tell me you’re not part of the darkness,” you said. 

“He is. The only reason he wanted you was that he could use his powers for his plan to summon Kingdom Hearts,” Vanitas said. 

“Daddy, please don’t do this! I just wanted a normal life with you and Vani!” 

“Fine then. Guess I’ll just have to kill you then,” Xehanort said. 

“What?! I don’t wanna die! Daddy, just please don’t do this!” you said. A Neoshadow lunged at you but Vanitas stopped it before it could hurt you. 

“(Y/N), do you trust me?” he asked. 

“Of course I trust you,” you said. He opened a portal and looked at you. 

“Go through that portal and find some place where you can be safe,” he said. 

“But what about you?” 

“I’ll be fine. Now go.” You gave Vanitas a hug goodbye and ran into the portal before the Neoshadows could harm you.

“Guess I’m gonna have to teach you a lesson for betraying me,” Xehanort said. 

“Anything to protect my sister,” Vanitas said. 

~~~~

You exited the portal and arrived on a island. You looked around and saw two boys playing. You thought that these children would be able to help you so you walked over to them. 

“Um, excuse me,” you said. The two boys stopped playing and looked at you. 

“Hi. I’m Sora. Are you new here?” a boy with brown hair asked. 

“I-I guess you can say that.” 

“Where did you come from?” A boy with silver hair asked. You were about to say that you were from Scala ad Caelum but heard a voice that sounded like Vanitas telling you not to. 

“I-I’m not sure,” you lied. 

“That’s okay. Some of the people here don’t remember how they got here either,” Sora said. 

“O-okay. That makes me feel a little better.” 

“I’m guessing you don’t know where your family is. Here, come with us. We can become best friends,” the silver haired boy said. 

“Okay.” You followed the two boys and soon became best friends. You told them your name and some of your favorite things. Sora’s parents were generous and let you stay at his house. 

“Thank you for your hospitality. I don’t know how I can repay you,” you said. 

“You don’t have to. And you can stay here as long as you like,” Sora said. 

“Thank you, Sora.” 

“Anytime.” The two of you got to know each other better till the both of you fell asleep. 

[snowflake-of-destruction]

Uncle Isa meeting the twins for the first time🥺

So I combined it with putting out some kind of Hanukkah content, sue me. In order to avoid the debate of how Judaism in the Kingdom Hearts universe works, this can easily be read as modern/real world au. At least I tried to take out all the references to magic, keybearing and such other than one “another world” that could be hyperbole. 

Isa had meant to visit sooner. He’d arm-wrestled Xion for the right to be godfather despite having mixed feelings on the tradition of godparents itself. He’d helped Axel build the cribs when his best friend had insisted on surprising Roxas and setting up the nursery while he was at work. Even before that, Isa had been there, offering Axel advice and helping him search his heart when Roxas had brought up the topic of children and Axel wasn’t yet sure if he was ready. Granted, Isa couldn’t take any credit for bringing him to a revelation. Apparently, it had been babysitting Sora and Riku’s son that had triggered something--though from how he’d told the story of the night, Isa had been expecting Axel to say it had triggered him to seek qualified treatment for when PTSD manifested instead of helping him decide he did want to start looking into options for parenthood. Isa had been involved since the beginning, but initial reasons of delaying a visit so he didn’t look pushy wanting to horn in those first few weeks Axel and Roxas were adjusting to being new parents then bled into getting the flu and wanting to wait until he was better, which then led to other delays caused by busy schedules and distance that needed to be traveled mixed with seeming lessening need with pictures and video calls shared and gifts already sent. So the trip waited until convenient time and additional reason.

“Roxas bought shabbat candles and they are too thick to fit into the menorah!” was not a good reason, even when followed by a compelling, wailed, “You need to help me, Isa!”

Isa opted for reason. “You have to have some way of transporting the girls, I’d imagine. You brought them home from the hospital, did you not? Go to the store and get some candles, or have Roxas pick them up. You aren’t going to light the candle or say the blessings without him, are you?”

“Well, no, but what if he picks up the wrong ones again and then the first night of the twins’ first Hanukkah is ruined?”

Isa refrained from repeating that his hysterical best friend could go to the store himself, but he did go for the penetrating question, “And how come after years Roxas doesn’t know what size candles the menorah takes?”

There was silence on the other end of the line for a long moment, before the confession came, already more annoyed than sheepish, “Because we don’t usually celebrate Hanukkah or any of the Jewish holidays, really, and the menorah was in storage--apparently without any candles stored with it-- but that’s not the point.”

“And, why, exactly not?” Isa prodded. He aimed for a slightly gentler tone the moment after. “I am just trying to help you keep perspective. It’s good you want to get back to your roots, but, if Hanukkah has never been important to you before, you can allow yourself to…”

Axel cut him off, “We have kids now, and there is a giant Christmas tree in my living room and they love it!”

“It’s just because of the lights,” Isa explained, though he was already looking for his keys to leave. 

“Which is why I need some lights! Please! They are too small to feed them sufganiyot this year. Those jelly donuts are my ace! I need something! You can have all the latkes you can eat and you get to see your adorable godchildren and pinch their little toes.”

“Why would I want to pinch toes?” 

“You haven’t seen their toes yet. You’re going to want to pinch their toes.”

“Just tell me what size the candleholders in your menorah are.”

“Menorah sized.”

There were a few other bumps and some travel time, but it was all worth it when Isa saw the girls. Red faces only set off from the fine hair that covered their heads by a few shades, kicking feet that tried to pedal through the air, and the tiniest fingers and toes that he found that he did want to pinch after all. They were no less or more attractive than any other babies he’d seen, objectively, but he felt his chest swell with love as he presented a finger to the one on the left and she wrapped a tiny fist around it to shake hands, while the one of the right widened her eyes in what was surely just reflex but felt like awe that recognized this was a momentous meeting. It wasn’t that he hadn’t loved them before knowing them or just from pictures and video, but there was something deeper triggered face to face, a solidifying of the bond and the brain fully processing them as real. “You two are perfect. Hello, I’m your Uncle Isa.” He’d introduced himself on video calls, but they wouldn’t remember at this age. “Yes, that’s right. If there is ever anything you need, you can call me.” Delivering Hanukkah candles from another planet was nowhere near the length he was now willing to go from one glance. “I love you, girls.” 

He took back his finger and looked toward Axel, who seemed far too knowing and smug, assured that whoever laid eyes on the twins would immediately swear undying devotion, and also want to pinch their feet. “Chag Sameach.”

“Chag Sameach.”

“Uncle” Isa became a fixture at many occasions, but always Hanukkah, bringing candles as a running joke turned tradition. There were gifts too, sometimes, though usually after lectures that Hanukkah is not supposed to be a holiday centered around gifts--which backfired as he was typically tackled by two small missiles with the assistance of one or both fathers and shaken down for coins and chocolate in addition to gifts. He treated dreidel as a new revelation and played competitively until the year the girls informed him and their equally overeager fathers that they had outgrown it (Axel protested that nobody outgrew gelt through a mouth full of chocolate that proved his point), and amassed a collection of crayon drawings of icons of the season, though, after a few years, he wasn’t able to hold back the constructive critique that, while their menorahs were lovely, they weren’t kosher unless the branching candles were even (Dulce started using a ruler to help her. Salena started drawing lines of dragons breathing fire to represent lights). 

There would have been other ways he would have been drawn into the family, he was sure, but Isa would always be thankful, Roxas once bought the wrong candles.

[avionvadion]

So the first two are some VERY old drawings- like, I was back in high school kinda drawings. Oof. Sorta hurts to look at it, but whatever. XD The next two plus the dancing one are closer together, though still fairly old, and the Ienzo drawing is one I did literally the other night because I was listening to “soldier” nightcore and OH MY GODS. 

Because, like, Nobodies grow hearts over time? Well, Irene is crushing on Zexion from the start, and she pretty much just sort of annoys him into falling in love with her- though he doesn’t realize it. He just gets angrier and more flustered, until La City de Cloches happens (right before CoM) and he snaps. (Riku witnesses their friendship in the DDD part of the fanfic, or at least will when I’m able to write ti) Also, while I originally planned on them masquerading as gypsies because it’s fanfiction and I can do that, um, I rewatched Book of Life and realized-! BATTLE DANCE MOVES! Which basically inspired the last page because it’s them fighting and doing a team attack. A dancing team attack. 

I’M A ZEXION/IENZO SIMP OKAY I’M SORRY I LOVE ONE MAN AND IT’S HIM HE IS BEST DISNEY PRINCE 

Story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12448743/chapters/28327938

Major Fanfic Spoilers below

Anyway, the whole Irene/Ienzo conflict is that Irene was super freaking in love with Zexion, right? She was happy and sweet, and he was calculative and manipulative and smart, and she knew that, and he knew that, and it worked. But then he died. Lexaeus- bodyguard/father figure- died. Everyone at CoM died. Even Xion. But then Roxas defects. 

Irene tracks Roxas to Twilight Town after he ran away from the Organization in a desperate attempt to bring him back so to avoid his obliteration. In the process she meets Hayner, Pence, and Olette who mention they just met a blond a day or two ago and wish her luck in finding her friend. She learns of the abandoned mansion and encounters “Ansem” at the gate. She asks him about Roxas, but the only response she got in turn was Soul Eater pointed at her face. Irene tries to go about things peacefully, but when he refuses to put his weapon away Irene summons her own and tells him that she won’t go easy on him for hiding her “brother” from her. Irene wins and manages to break into the mansion. 

There she encounters Namine, who is all too aware of who Irene is because of her connection to Roxas and Riku- and therefore her connection to Sora. Namine is surprised, but says that she should have expected Irene to come to the mansion because of how much she cares for Roxas and the other organization members. She then says that she’s always wanted to meet Irene since she found out about her, having learned of her apparent affection towards Nobodies. She explains that Roxas is hidden in a version of Twilight Town DiZ created, but his memories of her were now locked away. 

“Without the memories of Kairi… Sora can’t wake up. He needs Roxas.” 

“So do we! Roxas is my family; I’m not leaving without him!” 

“But… if you take him away, then…” 

“Then he gets to live. I am NOT losing him, too. Just take the memories out of him and put them back into Sora!”

“I… I can’t… it’ll take too much time…”  

Irene storms out and locates the basement, but during that time Namine panics and tries to mess with her memory. Unfortunately, as a Keeper of Heart Irene’s memories can’t be altered as much as a normal person’s and due to that Irene becomes incredibly dizzy. Having made her way to hidden basement Irene encounters DiZ, who mocks her in her state for caring so much for a being that doesn’t even have feelings. Irene snaps at him, saying that he knows nothing about Nobodies and their feelings, and tells him that the bonds between her and the Nobody friends she made are what keep her going. 

“I-I’ve already lost so many… I won’t… let you… take Roxas, too!” 

She summons her staff and goes to attack, but “Ansem” arrives in time to protect DiZ. She goes so far as to call them murderers for trying to remove Roxas from the world, but DiZ merely laughs and says that Roxas shouldn’t have even existed in the first place. This only makes Irene more angry and her attacks against a weary “Ansem” become more wild and frustrated. 

“You know NOTHING! Of them, of the Organization, of the way they treat each other! One may lack a heart… but the feelings are still there! Wh-When they died… when that girl went missing… Roxas cried! And mourned! And hurt!” Knocks “Ansem” back and switches her illusion staff to her own. “Without being there or witnessing any of it… YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT NOBODIES!” 

Goes to swing the staff with a huge surge of light, when Namine started to try and lock up her memories of the Organization- thus causing Irene to fumble. She falls to her knees and begins to panic, knowing SOMETHING was happening to her. Her eyes lock onto the rings and gloves on her hands and she realizes- she couldn’t remember who they were from. A face was starting to fade from her memory, the face of someone very important to her, and she begins to panic- frantically trying to recall the name as she stands and stumbles back into a wall. 

Irene begins screaming when her head begins to throb to the point it felt like her skull was splitting into two. Namine’s powers were starting to fail and Irene was on the verge of recalling Zexion’s name when “Ansem” takes the initiative to knock her out. DiZ decides to place her in the virtual Twilight Town with Roxas, removing all the gear the Org members have given her (including her coat), and had Namine alter both her and Roxas memories enough to where they would coincide. However, Namine could only do so much and was unable to “make” new memories for Irene, only able to lock up the majority of them and edit the details of the remaining few. 

When Irene woke up she remembered nothing except her sibling status with Roxas. Roxas believed Irene to be his sister and the only remaining survivor of the “accident”. She obtained amnesia since the accident and was brought home only recently since she recovered from hospital. He explained that any gaps in her memory could be because of the head injury she sustained, but Irene couldn’t feel much pain at all aside from a light headache. During the seven days Irene behaved overly doting towards Roxas, taking side-jobs from the help wanted boards in an attempt to help support them so Roxas wasn’t doing things on his own anymore. 

Also Struggles with him sometimes to help prepare for the tournament after it gets revealed that she was the one who taught him how to struggle. Is surprised by her own strength. Eventually sometime while hanging up posters for the upcoming struggle match Irene encounters “Ansem” again. He’s just standing there and watching her, and her feeling rather uncomfortable upon noticing him calls him out and tries to strike a conversation. 

“Hey~ random person! How you doing? New in Twilight Town?” No answer. “O-kay… well! You want one of these posters? The tournament’s coming up soon and my little bro’s gonna be fighting in it! Well, I say “little” but he’s like fifteen? Also taller than me, which is lame, but hey! You should come watch! You might enjoy it.” 

“...” 

“No?” 

“Ansem” leaves and Irene is left very confused, but also feeling like she should know that person from somewhere because of the coat. Thinking about it makes the pounding in her skull worse, so she stops focusing on it. More time passes and Irene is at the accessory looking for something to help Roxas out a day before the tournament when she catches sight of the rings. Her head starts to hurt again and she wonders why looking at them hurt her heart so much, and why her fingers suddenly felt so exposed. Leaves the shop, only to crash into “Ansem” again who shoves two rings into her hands. 

“If they’re so important to you, you should try harder not to lose them.”

 Before she could ask what he was talking about he’s gone and Irene is left standing there, staring at the rings in her hands and wondering what he meant by that. She puts on one of the rings and places the other in her pocket, and heads home to get started on another cooking attempt for dinner. Sometime later Roxas comes out of his room- very dazed and confused, not understanding how he got there since he was certain he fell off the clock tower- and after dinner when Irene is putting the dishes away she asks Roxas if he knew why the rings she had were so important to her. 

He’s surprised to see them, having believed they were lost in the accident, and hesitantly tells her that the ring she was wearing was given to her by her boyfriend- the same one that died in the accident- and that the other was the ring she gave to him. Irene’s headache gets worse, but she’s just barely able to recall a face. In the mansion DiZ questions “Ansem”, demanding why he intervened, and “Ansem” responds that those rings in particular were something they should have never taken from her. Later that night Irene winds up in her heart, where she is asked a question and is forced to fight a previous Keeper. 

During the day of the struggle when time freezes and Roxas is forced to fight the dusks, Irene moves to help him only to be dragged away by “Ansem”. Continuously blocking her way, Irene gets frustrated and in her determination to help her “brother” she summons her weapon. There she fights “Ansem”, but just as she starts to win the world unfreezes and he vanishes into a corridor of darkness. Irene is really confused and her weapon disappears, but quickly runs back to the match and is surprised to find everyone cheering- the dusks nowhere to be seen and Roxas apparently victorious against Vivi. The dusks reminded Irene of something and she passes out after focusing too much on it, and recalls pieces of her conversation with Zexion/Lexaeus after she found out the dusks listened to her. 

When the seventh day comes Namine releases the locks on Irene’s memories and the girl goes in desperate search for Roxas, but ends up having to evade the hordes of Nobodies attacking. Memories back she heads to the mansion and finds Roxas just in time, stopping him from calling out to Sora. Roxas apologizes, knowing full well he was causing her and Maria both grief, but tells her about the dreams he had of Sora and that- even if he didn’t want to- Roxas had to do this. So many worlds and people needed Sora. He asks her to respect his decision and to keep smiling,  and then fades into Sora. Irene starts to breakdown and panics when Sora starts to wake, running off in an attempt to hide. Unfortunately she slams right into Goofy and Donald who have just woken up, and is almost instantly mistaken as “Mazy” by Goofy who had last seen Maria when she was a young teen. Irene is instantly confused only to remember Maria’s stories about Goofy and realizes mid-bear hug what was happening. He sets her down, only to notice her eyes were brown instead of hazel and that she WASN’T actually Maria, and apologizes. Then asks why she’s so upset, but Irene quickly changes the subject by bringing up Sora and saying something about how “someone was waking up in the next room” and Donald and Goofy run off to find Sora. 

Irene makes a break for it, but encounters “Ansem” again. He tosses her bag and white coat at her, all her equipment inside, and tells her to “Go”. Rather than grateful she ends up even more confused and mad at him as he was the reason Roxas was now gone, and she didn’t understand why he was helping her so much, but he says nothing and merely vanishes into a Dark Corridor. “What is wrong with that man?” 

Finds a room to hide in and puts her coat on, looking through the bag to find her equipment and is more than alarmed when she finds the bracelet she made for Lexaeus in there. He had worn it to C.O so it should have been there, so why was it in her bag…? Did that man put it there? His weapon looked a little like a keyblade- could he have been the one to kill him? And the photo from Halloween Town with them and Zexion... Irene was just about to open a portal to the castle, ready to resign herself to her fate of having to explain the situation to Maria, when the door slams open and Sora, Donald, and Goofy walk in. 

Gets questioned by Donald and reluctantly answers most of them, when Goofy has a realization like, “I get it! The reason you look like lil’ Mazy is ‘cause yer her other half, isn’t it?” 

Sora is super duper confused and Donald is in disbelief, and Irene is like, “Er, I mean, I am, but the reason we look alike is because we’re sisters??? Not because we’re both Keepers??? Hi??” 

Que Goofy having an excited freak out because holy crap his little Mazy has a little sister he’s so happy for Maria. Asks how she is and what she’s doing, but before Irene could actually answer Donald throws a fit because the King was looking for the other Keeper and she’s right in front of them- they HAVE to bring her along- and Sora is just asking what the heck a “Keeper” is and who “Maria” was. Goofy and Donald explain, then bring up how the Keepers of Heart are supposed to work together with keyblade wielders to free captive hearts, and Sora gets on board with bringing her along because why not?? The more the merrier, right??? And Irene is all types of “Nope” but they aren’t having it. Donald is the most aggressive about it. Irene is cursing her luck as she just wanted to go back to the castle and burrow under the covers like a depressed bunny rabbit. 

And now Irene is even more distraught then before. Maria learns that Sora was in C.O and tries to kill him, and Irene attempts to defend him because Roxas was still in there somewhere- she can feel his light- which causes Maria to call her delusional. Maria, feeling betrayed by Irene, tries to kill HER while Sora is unconscious, and Goofy drags Donald and Sora back to the gummi ship. Irene doesn’t fight, instead keeping a shield up the entire time as Maria is wailing on her, until the woman is exhausted. She tells Irene to get out of her sight and she does, and every now-and-then Maria will appear. To simultaneously check up on Irene, to attack her, and to attack Sora. 

And though Irene hates Sora for stealing Roxas away, she can’t help but also be friends with him. At least... until Demyx dies. Then she snaps, claiming Maria was right all along, and goes after him- only for “Ansem” to intervene. Sora heads farther into Hollow Bastion and Maria attacks him, thus how she gets her chest scar, and Irene nearly kills “Ansem”. She was seconds away from doing it, but then the hood falls down and she can see his eyes... and realizes that he was a person just like her. Like everyone else. And if she killed him... someone who cared for him would be feeling exactly what she was. 

And then “Ansem” won. Her face burned, stomach ripped open and then simultaneously healed/burned shut, he tosses a defeated Irene and Maria somewhere safe where they can talk. And then more org death happens, and the girls are depressed. Luxord was the last for Irene- she couldn’t handle anymore. She gave up and just hid in her old room, even as the castle fell apart. The previous inside her heart eventually opened a light corridor and pulled her through, saving her, and for a long time she just stayed there before accidentally wandering into Destiny Islands where she encounters Riku. Through some things Maria and Irene are able to start working together as sisters and keepers again and make a home in the Radiant Garden castle, helping the restoration committee, until DDD. 

Lea is pretty much the same Axel. The personalities don’t differ that much. But Ienzo? Heck, even Irene? They’re not the same as they were. Irene is depressed, traumatized by all the events that occurred in such a short span of time. She’s still grieving. And for a man with the same face and voice as the one she had loved so wholeheartedly before, only to be so DIFFERENT, appearing before her? it hurts. And she’s conflicted. And she’s scared. 

And while she wants to protect him, to keep him safe and ensure he lives this time around, she also wants to avoid him at any cost. But Ienzo loves her- he was as much as Zexion as Zexion was him. And Lea tries to help her see this, definitely not as patient as Ienzo and being far more annoyed that the tension in the room was so physically painful he wanted to rip his hair because GOD DAMN IT GIRL JUST ACCEPT HIM ALREADY. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE HIM. It isn’t until after Tangled that she does, witnessing Eugene’s death. 

Also Riku feels massive guilt over killing Zexion, especially after becoming friends with Irene (poor girl unaware he was “Ansem”), and witnessing their interactions in La City de Cloches during his exam. 

The songs “Haven’t Had Enough” “All to Myself” and “Who Do You Love” by Marianas Trench fit  Irene/Ienzo pretty well, actually. Especially if you imagine the PoV shifting back and forth. “Soldier” is more Irene/Zexion to Irene/Ienzo, but... yeah. XD I’m weak, okay? I’m sorry. I love torturing characters.