#have you ever met a transphobe
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hjartasalt · 1 year ago
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Every time I see someone making fun of neopronouns I can't help but think they aren't living in the real world. Someone using xe/xyr pronouns isn't the issue, it's these fake scenarios where you pretend to be victimised by it that are.
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def-not-kaz-brekker · 1 year ago
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*Me when I was young and naive, being a gryffindor and holding a Harry Potter book and waving my wand that lit up when I shook it*: omg I love jk Rowling so much I wanna be like her when ur grow up—
*Me now, gay and trans, opening ao3 to read another wolfstar fanfic on my phone after reading “the sun and the star” and another kanej fic, being a slytherin even tho on the test it said ravenclaw, smirking deviously*: oh she-who-must-not-be-named would hate me so much
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whywoulditho · 7 months ago
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english (and almost every other european language tbh) has always been fucking weird to me because why the fuck would you need gender-specific names to like, body scent. why not just call them the same thing. what exactly is the difference between a perfume and a cologne?? or like, niece and nephew? i mean why go out of your way to invent two words that mean the same thing but one is only for men and the other is only for women? when they're quite literally the same thing???
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mimikyuno · 1 year ago
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hate and war to all terfs on this earth. i hate y’all and i hope u get deprogrammed soon đŸ™đŸ»
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gdrflxboy-gayace · 2 years ago
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so fucking sick of trans mascs who don't work hard to fix their toxic masculinity and misogyny
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 years ago
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Ya boi got a new medicine and a therapist.
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spacelazarwolf · 5 days ago
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one thing i need you all to realize is that you have to fight like hell for the marginalized people you don’t like. you have to fight for the cringey discourse queer and the misogynistic man of color and the transphobic cis woman and the politically conservative jew and the racist disabled person. you don’t have to like them or agree with them. but if you see them experiencing bigotry and you are a person who claims to be against bigotry, you are obligated to fight for them. you have to fight against bigotry, even if you don’t like the target of that bigotry, because as soon as you let yourself slip, as soon as you allow bigotry on your watch, even if it is directed at the shittiest person you’ve ever met, you’ve now established that in your personal ethos bigotry isn’t wrong, it’s a weapon. and as soon as you’re okay with bigotry being used as a weapon, you have already lost.
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crippledpunks · 16 days ago
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i was recently denied life-saving gallbladder removal surgery by my GI specialist due to being "too fat" (i'm 300 lbs and very muscular) and "needing to lose 10 -15 pounds and waiting 2 - 3 months in order to get the surgery". i was then signed up for bariatric weight loss surgery before i could get the gallbladder removal despite the gallstone stuck in the neck of the organ as well as the other stones inside of it causing me to be incapable of keeping down food
i ended up getting the surgery done by a local hospital with far better doctors, but the initial denial had me so defeated. if you are fat and have ever been denied important surgeries, life saving or otherwise, because of your weight, i am so sorry and you should never have to face that. most surgeries are not impacted by weight in the slightest. this is usually an issue with the surgeon's skill as a surgeon.
i was told by every other surgeon i met that weight has no bearing on a laparoscopic gallbladder removal surgery. at the other hospital i was also told that anesthesia wouldn't work on me or that i wouldn't survive it. yet again i was told by other surgeons that was also not the case. most surgeons worth their paygrade can do these surgeries after just... trying and learning how to work with fat bodies.
i was told by the surgeons and nurses in the ER that it's ridiculous for the other hospital to behave as though fat people will never need surgery of any kind ever throughout their lives, for one reason or another. it's unrealistic. most people will encounter a potential surgery in their life times, no matter their weight and it's unprofessional to just give up when someone above a certain weight threshold needs help.
my heart goes out to you especially if you're trans, intersex, gnc, and queer and have been denied top surgery or other gender affirming care surgeries because of your weight. this is also medically unethical and done for no reason other than fatphobic transphobic bias. you do not need to lose weight to get top or bottom surgery.
take care of yourself. my heart goes out to you and you don't deserve this treatment at all
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voiceshearingyouloud · 1 year ago
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Actually fuck my therapist for saying ‘but is your delusion actually true though?’ because of all the unhelpful things to ask someone who’s grip on reality is already tenuous

#and now I’m obsessing over what’s true and what’s not which like come on man#this is the delusion about being in love with/attracted to this guy#which I’m not because I am not attracted to men and the idea of kissing or fucking him either makes me laugh or want to throw up so I think#I can safely say I’m not attracted to him#it’s just the delusion ties into my erotomania in general which is crappy because it feels more real#I do like the feeling of the delusion though#like when I’m really fully out of touch with reality and caught up in it it’s quite a lovely feeling#like a really easy all encompassing love#which is why it’s also easy to believe it’s true#but for the aforementioned reasons it is not true#and with my therapist saying that kind of shit I was like dude actually come on. like why would you say that?#if someone has identified that something is a symptom of psychosis; even if You think it’s actually true how would you know better than me?#and why would you say something that would make my grip on reality even less secure when you know I just came out of an episode?#why would you ever say ‘but have you considered you are actually deluding yourself still?’ to someone who’s psychotic?? that’s evil.#anyway clearly I’m more mad about this than I thought but turns out people setting off your psychosis freaks a person out!#anne speaks#yes it happening like two or three times is a coincidence and also makes me freaked out it’s true but why would you feed that fear?#and just to clarify I am not romantically attracted or platonically attracted to him because I suppose that would be attraction too.#he’s kinda funny and I don’t mind playing cards with him at the euchre club (where we met and where I see him and the delusion is sparked)#but he’s a homophobic and transphobic redneck capitalist#so not really my type let’s just say that#I suppose I didn’t know that when the delusion started. but I do know it now and if it was a real crush it would’ve died a terrible death#once I knew that#anyway. I need to get out of the brain loop of obsessing over it or it’ll become like ocd#thanks again; therapist! love this for me
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celestiachan · 2 years ago
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"wow this is like in the 70s when people were homophobic" people are homophobic now
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ghostboyhood · 26 days ago
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the victim blaming is CRAZY
no fucking wayyy dude
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nthspecialll · 3 months ago
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It is so weird being hateful on tiktok while having a rdr pfp or name, like dude, the voice actors would NOT condone this. I mean Roger (arthurs va) literally said "terfs aint got no friends" and "trans rights are human rights" and Rob (Johns va) celebrates national velociraptor day and is just a big goof ball. All the VAs are.
I saw an Arthur Morgan be fatphobic and like I am gonna be honest with ya, I dont think Arthur would be fatphobic, I actually think he would love some chub.
I saw a John Marston be transphobic as if he didnt have that whole "you ever met a Jewish, british homosexual?" Thing in Undead and the VA is over there trying to learn gen Alpha slang.
Like dude, how do you use the work of the NICEST and most ACCEPTING people ever while spreading hate? Learn whos face you are using because you are actually embarrassing yourself dumbass.
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ramblings-of-a-detrans-woman · 22 days ago
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Why I will never support the radical feminist movement, as a detransitioning woman.
note: this is not meant to be any sort of hit piece or slander, I respect every feminist, even ones I disagree with. This is just my reasoning for why I do not like the radfem movement.
For a bit of context, I’ve indentified as trans since I was 12. At 18, I’ve decided to live my life as a lesbian woman, and i’ve never been happier with that choice.
Now, being a young trans man, I interacted a lot with pro trans content online (of course I did), and so of course I’ve heard about radical feminism. A passionate branch of feminism that takes a unique approach to women’s rights- deconstructing gender entirely. It sounds wonderful in theory, because of course gender is oppressive, most notably of women. I would know, being one. Even when I was trans I had to worry about being out at night. I even got chased once, and a man attempted to lure me to his truck another time. It’s brutal. But radical feminists devote their activism to ending this in a straightforward, logical way.
So why do I, a woman who has experienced both misogyny and transphobia, not support that? I feel that this is a good question for both trans allies and radfems alike to to ask. Knowledge is power.
Well, I’ll be direct. Radfems are some of the most depraved people i’ve ever met. I know, that sounds like a lot, but there’s no other words I can use that don’t perfectly encapsulate my experience with radfems. It’s depravity.
For weeks, I was harassed by transphobic radfems. Radfems, who are insistent on their love and support for TIFs aka trans men. It’s strange then that they would be so cruel towards one, wouldn’t you say?
Detransition is hard enough. It’s difficult to tell family that you were wrong. It’s difficult to reconnect with my gender. Hell, i prefer the term detrans over cis just because i have such a disconnect from my gender. So why do I have to deal with transphobic radfems sending me gore and death threats?
Thankfully all of the accounts doing this seem to be deleted or repurposed. But it’s only a matter of time until a new account is made just to send me an ask telling me to kill myself or a message about how much of a loser i am.
It’s this reason alone why i’ll never be a radfem. They’re just sick people. They don’t want liberation for women, they just hate trans people. It’s not even thinly veiled, their accounts are fully based around how horrible trans women are.
The truth being, trans women aren’t bad people at all. It’s easy to think they are because the news and media cherry picks some of the worst ones, but every community and minority group has bad people in it. some of the sickest people you could imagine, really. yes, they can be trans. but does being trans make you a sick person? does it turn you into a predator? no, it doesn’t. it just means you’re trans. trans or not, it’s up to men to be mature and take accountability for their own actions that they consciously make. a cis man is as capable to walk into a women’s room as a trans woman is.
if radical feminists cared more about women and detrans women, i could consider getting along with them. but sadly, all these passionate and dedicated feminists care about is hating trans people with a fiery passion. and i’ve been a casualty. it’s very difficult for me to sympathize with radfems when they’ve upset me to the point that they have
let me make it clear that gore and death threats don’t upset me, i’m not easily offended. So it’s not the threats that make me angry. It’s just the principle. The fact that radfems are spending their time scrolling reddit for gore pictures to send to fellow women instead of supporting us makes me SICK. it’s heartbreaking to picture a woman, raped and beaten by her boyfriend, and a radfem standing in front of her, readily available to help, but choosing to yell at a passing detrans woman. It’s really sad.
hopefully those reading this can take my words into consideration and use it to improve yourselves or your community (if you’re a radfem). i love womanhood and being a woman and i would love to share that joy with my sisters, but i just can’t when these issues i’ve experienced are in the back of my mind. I want radical feminism to be a safe space, a place where sisters can go to talk to women, relate to women, cry with and support women. but so far, the only love and support i’ve received has been from the trans community. that speaks volumes.
i am going to post more about my experience with finding my womanhood again in the future, so if you’re a detrans woman yourself, trans ally or not, consider following me :) i’d love to build myself a little community
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atanx · 9 months ago
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James Somerton's "A Measured Response": A Measured Response
so I watched a reupload of the video because idk i like to torture myself. and i took a bunch of notes:
“I tried to be a voice for every member of the queer community, but that was a failed endeavour before it even started.”
what a strange way to say ‘I tried making it seem like I’m the only queer creator and stole from and actively harmed people in the queer community. knowingly. purposefully. and when I was called out in the past I tried to hide it.'
“I'm a cis, white, gay man. No matter how much I try to be a good spokesperson, I can never really, truly, understand the life experiences of other, far more put upon,  members of the queer community.”
so of course I stole and hid work from the people I can't understand, gutting it of their personal experiences and refused to redirect my audience to those people so that they can enrich themselves and hear about issues pertaining them from someone who actually does understand.
“...one of the reasons I used their own words. But I should have made it clear that that was what I was doing.”
BITCH YOU STOLE. YOU GUTTED THEIR STORIES OF MEANINGFUL PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. YOU WEREN'T USING THEIR WORDS TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND YOU WERE MILKING THEM FOR CONTENT AND DEPRIVING PEOPLE OF ACTUAL, SOULFUL, MEANINGFUL ARTICLES AND BOOKS AND DOCUMENTARIES AND VIDEOS THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING INSTEAD.
“Being a cis white man I thought I might win over some people who otherwise wouldn't listen.”
Yeah sure. Because racist transphobes are going to be watching your badly plagiarised gay film analysis.
“I would also like to apologise to Jessie Gender, who is one of the kindest people I ever met. Through my hot-headedness, I drew her into this anger spiral.”
‘through my hotheadedness.’. shirking responsibility onto an ‘ingrained personality trait of yours’ I see.
if you are so honestly sorry for being an asshole to Jessie why don't you fucking apologise to her directly? privately? not as a way to boost your own fucking image??
he's trying to earn good will by complimenting Jessie Gender “oh he knows to compliment an awesome person we have that in common I guess he can't be so bad after all” fuck you I recognise your strategies and it's gross to drag Jessie into this like that, she spoke out against you and you are trying to imply some sort of friendship or something between you. okay I cannot UNDERSTATE the way he tries to make it seem like they are close in some way and sort of drag her onto his side that's so fucking despicable. as far as I know Jessie Gender does not have a relationship with him of any kind?
once again bringing up death threats I see. obviously death threats are shite and anyone who threatens the dude in seriousness or harasses him will not see the light of heaven as Hbomberguy said but IN AN APOLOGY YOU DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU THAT'S MANIPULATION
also blaming the police for not clarifying a situation in a timely manner - the police are a flaming pile of garbage and I hope the institution explodes but NOT SAYING ANYTHING WAS YOUR CHOICE. THE POLICE DIDN'T MAKE YOU DO SHIT THERE
the problem isn't that you tried to “create a channel where all queer people could be safe”, the problem is that 1) you are a misogynist 2) you yourself engaged in transphobic behaviour and 3) you also actively supressed queer people's voices. The problem isn't that you supposedly wanted a space for all queer people, the problem is that you tried to MONOPOLISE queer literature analysis. fuck, queer doesn't look like a word anymore I've written it too many times now
(paraphrased) “I should have been helping with making queer people's voices discoverable” this makes it seem like he just didn't do anything and not like the reality that he was actively trying to rewrite history and bury LQBTQIA+ voices under his steaming pile of garbage
also BLAMING YOUTUBE AND THE ALGORITHM FOR ‘PUSHING HIM’ because he's cis and white, like maybe they did, I certainly wouldn't be surprised, but that is not why other creators suffered, a large part of that can be attributed to James Somerton stealing their work without any acknowledgement whatsoever apart maybe if they are lucky, a “based on” in the credits or their name flashing on screen for half a second.
“I should have done more to share the voices of other queer people” THAT IMPLIES YOU DID SOMETHING. YOU WERE ACTIVELY WORKING AGAINST THAT YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT-
“it was just my dweam to be a youtubew and when my videos gained twaction i felt pwessuwed to make mowe vewy quickly and that's why they wewe so shit uwu” fuck off you weren't pressured into shit you just wanted to make money and that's why you were a content mill
“early on I thought that crediting authors in the opening credits alone was enough” what about the times YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT??? YOU'RE MAKING THIS SEEM LIKE THE DRAMA IS ABOUT YOU CREDITING PEOPLE WRONG WHEN ITS ABOUT YOUR SYSTEMATIC THEFT AND OPPRESSION OF THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE VIDEOS FOR AND ABOUT AND THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE A SAFE SPACE FOR. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WATCHES YOUR VIDEOS?? WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU CAN'T JUST PLAY IT DOWN
not him using Hbomberguy's example of the DEEP CUTS: SOCIETY AND QUEER HORROR video and claiming he credited all people in the opening scene when Hbomberguy highlighted he DIDNT EVEN CREDIT MOST OF THEM FUCK OFF ARE YOU DELUSIONAL HOW DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS
I think I'm going insane this all seems so blatantly fake. he brings up the evil queens video and how he asked Sean Griffin, retroactively, permission to include his work in the video. and he shows a ‘screenshot’ of an email Griffin allegedly wrote to thank him for putting him in the title-card and that he thinks it is ‘a very thoughtful video’. only the text of the email header, such as Griffin's name, the RE:, and the To: is a lot smaller than the ‘text’ in the email, which leads me to believe that the below text is edited in some way. And with how hard James is trying to rewrite history, it wouldn't surprise me if he literally rewrote the email or cut things out to present himself in a more positive light. obviously I can't prove that the email is fake but I'll just say that I think the likelihood is very high that it is.
the way he says this also implies that he asked for permission after he made the video but hadn't published it yet. which is also blatantly false.
again trying to waltz off responsibility on nick, saying he was much more interested in production and implying that nick did all the writing .
“nick and I had both grown up poor so when I lost my job in 2021 (approx.) we of course were desperate and turned to producing videos even quicker and plagiarising the fuck out of all of them! but we can't help it we were both poor as kids!” fuck off, you weren't poor when plagiarising every-fucking-thing, this was in “the second year of COVID”. obviously if they really did grow up poor that sucks, and that's why we should eat the rich and redistribute their money. not plagiarise people who partly are poor or not financially cushy and manipulate thousands of people into believing you are the only queer creator.
also milking his mom's cancer. if you were really that worried about your financial situation, one would think that you would get an actual job for security and not put everything into your youtube career that is unstable, especially considering you've already done a lot of plagiarism and have no intention of stopping. “oh I plagiarised because my mom had cancer QAQ” that is so digusting to use a person's medical condition like that.
“i have memory issues because of a head injury i suffered as a child and that's why I plagiarise badly. see, I copy pasted the text with the intention to rephrase it later but forgot.” that would still be fucking plagiarism if he'd done that, also, if he's so aware of his memory issues and how they lead to him plagiarising, why didn't he try to work around that? leave himself notes? or tell nick to remind him to integrate actual proper credit and citations before uploading a video? mark the plagiarised stuff in the document with like highlighter or so when you're pasting it in?? oh but he didn't do all of that because he has ADHD. now, ADHD can be debilitating, but he says it's recently diagnosed so it must not have caused a lot of problems for him so far, so it's probably not severe and even if it is, it doesn't excuse him not crediting people properly. stop fucking hiding behind things ‘you can’t change' because if you truly can't you probably shouldn't be doing this in the first place.
“my mom really wanted me to make a movie with her life insurance but that wasn't paid out so I decided to crowdfund it. i planned to underpay the actors so hard it was under union wages. we got more money than we were expecting and upgraded to wanting to film a feature (final girl) but i didn't want to start working on it until the campaign was over for some reason that totally isn't me just wanting to exploit people for money!”
I'm not gonna go into the Telos stuff but he tries to explain it by claiming it was very unorganised and that's why they constantly ran into issues and that's why nothing ever got done and they were JUST about to start doing stuff when the Hbomberguy video released. You know what, I can believe it, although I am very doubtful considering all James ever does is lie. Idk. 
once again trying to excuse his plagiarism with needing to pay two rents and thus needing to make more videos for more sponsors and not having the time to not plagiarise like please. i don't believe that they were in that dire need of money and if they were - just get a fucking stable job and put youtube on the backburner. 
also once again trying to make it all about him by once again talking about his suicide attempt and death threats. like. no one should suffer through that kind of mental anguish but honestly I cannot bring myself to feel sympathy for this man. and i see this as an attempt to gather pity points.
“nick worked very hard on these videos other three years and it's unfair to [them] (james says that they're non-binary but doesn't indicate their pronouns anywhere? and in the beginning he uses they/them but later only he/him so idk what their pronouns are but it seems like they/them is at least part of their pronouns so i'm just going to use that) that they all got taken down” well y'all shouldn't have fucking plagiarised then. let this be a lesson maybe and don't fucking show your face on youtube again!
he is fucking relaunching his channel. like james. this isn't something you come back from. no one will ever be able to trust you ever again and you don't deserve an audience. he claims all the revenue will go to Hbomberguy's fund but we have no way to verify this. we have no way to know just how much he makes and how much of that is actually going to the fund. i don't trust him with any money. which is why i watched a reupload rather than the original. he's also releasing a new video he claims is entirely by him. like?????? don't???????
he also might not relaunch his existing patreon but he's still making a new one.
he claims he will “work his ass off” to make non-plagiarised videos. like that isn't “working your ass off” that's the bare fucking minimum. I really want to trust him. and I want to believe he'll actually try to do better. and maybe he will. and i believe in second chances, even for someone as despicable as him. but throughout this video he has continuously tried to play down what he did. tried to make excuses for everything. and that's why i am not going to give him a second chance. if he can't even admit what he did i don't trust him to not do it again. and i also just plainly don't want to endorse a person making such arguments.
also, he plugs his fucking new patreon right after this.
“this video is not about me promoting myself. it's about me apologising.” the only fucking person you actually ‘apologised’ to is Jessie Gender. 
James Somerton: makes a billion fucking excuses. Also James Somerton: “These are not excuses. There is no excuse for what I did.”
this entire video was just a publicity stunt. he tries to humanise himself and repair his image. this is just a tool to be able to continue on and continue making money.
he also still claims the disney video was based on the Celluloid Closet and he credited the author and ignores that this wasn't the only author he fucking plagiarised in that video. he is trying to reduce his plagiarsm to incorrect crediting and mistakes and that is disgusting.
the least he could have done was mention by name out loud every author he plagiarised and what work he plagiarised. not just say “uuuh i'm sorry to everyone I plagiarised QAQ”
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genderqueerdykes · 2 months ago
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Could you explain what being detrans is to me? I can’t find anything besides terf bullshit on the matter. I’m probably looking at it incorrectly but I genuinely don’t understand how someone could fake their gender for years and randomly decide to switch back, from my perspective as someone who’s known their (trans)gender identity since toddlerhood.
hello! yes i can!
detrans people are not "faking" their gender during the time they are transitioning. generally speaking, what happens is a person who thought transition was right for them finds out it is not. not every person who wants to transition or takes HRT finds out that it's right for them- there's no way to predict the changes that come with HRT, even if you're familiar with its effects. hormones affect everyone differently, and maybe someone starts undergoing HRT only to find out that it does not give them the effects its looking for.
many people socially transition and find that they do not being addressed the way they thought they would. many folks find that dressing, sounding and acting certain ways just aren't for them. again, nobody can predict what will happen during transition, and nobody can predict exactly how they would feel if they are seen or addressed by a certain way. sometimes transitioning to a gender that doesn't suit them makes them find an appreciation for another gender that they perhaps previously felt dysphoric or neutral about
many detrans people are actually still trans- many of which being nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, multigender, and more. there are so many reasons why someone may transition, some people even detransition to avoid transphobia. some people transition in very transphobic areas and find the pressure too much, and go back to being stealth or closeted. try not to assume that the person is "faking" anything- it feels real to them at the time. just because someone changes their mind does not mean they were faking anything
identity can and does change. i didn't know i was trans until i was 18 or 19 year old. not everyone figures out they're trans during childhood. i had to be told what the word transgender even was at my local college's pride group. i had never heard it before. this doesn't make me any less of a trans person, nor anyone else. detrans people are human just like anyone else. just because someone doesn't figure out their identity right away doesn't mean they're faking anything. just because someone changes their mind after finding out something wasn't right for them doesn't mean they were faking
there is nothing wrong with being detrans. the terves you see online are a small, vocal minority. in reality, i know many detrans people who are still trans or gender non conforming, way more than i've ever met who have detransitioned and become hateful towards trans folk. the topic deserves to be approached with grace, kindness and respect- it may be worth reading into these subreddits, as opposed to using tumblr for this one. these two subs do not allow transphobia, terf or gender critical ideologies:
r/detransition_support
r/actual_detrans
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months ago
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WIBTA
 my crush threw up when she saw my scars.
I (22ftm) have intense feelings for my friend (24 f ), we’ll call her Bee. For some background I met her through my job (we’re in the food industry). I’m have a big friend group and my crush use to work with everyone. Bee use to actually date someone within the friend group, Sandy (24 f). They’re still friends even tho they’re broken up.
I hangout with my work friend group a lot, and Bee sometimes will come along. I like Bee a lot because she’s just really cool, she’s always calm, she talks about anything and everything, and she’s beautiful. She even is working as a heating and cooling technician. It’s hard for her to hangout with all of us because she has so many other things going on in general. She even bough a house in this economy!
Sandy and Bee are still close friends. I’ve asked a Sandy about their relationship and if she’s over her, and Sandy basically just tells me they were both kids and have dated other people since breaking up.
I haven’t actually gotten the chance to hangout with Bee one on one. I’ll even invite her to hangout with our group, but most the time she’s either busy with her house, or her other friends/family/business trips/etc. At first I thought she was lying, but Sandy has told me Bee just does a lot in general now. I’ve invited her to see a few scary movies with me, but she’s turned down 3/3.
This is where I may have been the asshole for making Bee uncomfortable. I had gotten my top surgery (whoo hoo) and after some recovering I kinda wanted to celebrate. Our other mutual friend was throwing a game night and I asked if Bee was coming and if she could come. Our friend said that’s fine since Bee is cool, and I invited Bee and she said she’d love to. She showed up with her boyfriend. I know it sounds bad, I just wanna get closer to Bee in general, her and I don’t have to date (although I wouldn’t mind).
Anyway during the game night, Sandy and Bee went to a separate bedroom to talk. I did pretend to go to the bathroom to ease drop. Bee was just basically telling Sandy she’s been stressed about work and her family, and redoing her house (she and her bf are doing the work themselves) Sandy basically just offered to help and Bee was just like “oh you listening is more than enough!” And they kinda just talked a little more. I was kinda feeling betrayed by Sandy, I haven’t told Sandy I really wanna get closer to Bee, she probably knows tho, but she never offers any help on how I could get closer.
When the two got out I raised a toast to my top surgery and to just making my body feel more like me, and to thank all my friends for the love and support I’ve received through them. I took off my shirt to show off, and I immediately noticed Bee looked away.
Throughout the night I would try and talk to Bee, but she wouldn’t make eye contact with me. she was keeping the conversation short Was she afraid to sexualize me? Was she transphobic? Her boyfriend even got between us and tried asking me how I’m doing and was kinda being a block. My mind was racing and I just kinda grabbed her hand and said “Does this scare you?”. She cried out “sorry!” And ran away
and she threw up in the sink. She started crying and apologizing and Sandy and her bf kinda took her to the bathroom then the car. Bee came in said sorry to everyone for ruining the night, and like three people said “no you just go home and feel better”.
I watched Sandy talk to both Bee and her boyfriend for like 20 minutes “saying goodbye”. I was shocked by the whole thing. It finally took someone to ask me if I was okay. I asked if Bee was trans phobic, why wouldn’t she look at me, she never hangs out with me one on one. Everyone told me that Bee isn’t transphobic (gee thanks). One of my friends even said I shouldn’t have grabbed Bee like that, which I know now. She was just acting all weird around me, and she was what I thought the coolest person ever.
Sandy came back in, she was laughing and she told the group Bee was fine. I asked “what about me!?” Sandy basically explained “body stuff” makes Bee “queasy”. i was hurt and offended that no one cared about me or my feelings.
Later that night Bee called me to apologize. She offered to buy me lunch. I was still hot headed and asked how my scars make her throw up. She basically told me about an event in her life that does make her uncomfortable around blood/scars/etc. I asked if she supported trans rights. she said of course. I asked her if she would ever date me, and she said shes never thought about it because shes with her bf. i basically confessed my feelings which she did not return but wishes me luck.
We never got lunch. I feel weird reaching out to her. she hasn't stopped by the restaurant. She hasn't come to a group gathering since. i know her and Sandy still hangout which pissed me off. i tried talking to my "friend" about it, but they say it as a step too far. they also shame me for crushing on her (i was fine with just friendship).
Its been like two months and everyone is still weird about it. Every time i bring it up, everyone makes me the bad guy. was i the asshole? was Sandy or Bee or even my friends that didnt support me?
What are these acronyms?
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