#have someone to sit with me and make me food and eat with me and help me stay tethered and hold me a bit and smoke with me

[werevampiwolf]

Yeah. At 19, I was finally diagnosed with autism and as unable to live independently without years of occupational therapy and my mother said "fuck that" and threw me out of the house two days later. She'd fought the doctors my entire life to stopbe from being diagnosed, because then that would mean there was something "wrong" with me.

I was homeless for over a year. I'm no longer homeless, mostly due to getting very very lucky with circumstances outside my control (like the fact that I was young enough and had been homeless long enough while continuing to take classes at the local community college to qualify for a government grant for Unaccompanied Homeless Youth, which allowed me to get an apartment. And i was only able to take classes because I was poor enough that the classes were free, and because i had a broken laptop and it never got stolen AND i already knew how to fix computers so I was about to Franken-Computer it into it being and staying at least slightly usable AND the fact that the nearest Starbucks was understanding and didn't throw me out or call the cops when I spent hours in there to do coursework), so my mother takes this as a win. Obviously, the doctor must have been wrong because when I was forced to sink or swim, I've stayed alive (very literally in this case).

I would argue that even now, going on a decade later, I'm not so much "living on my own" as I am "barely surviving", but I try to make it very clear, both to her and to people I tell this story to, that the problem with "Sink or Swim" is that people who sink fucking DROWN.

Because even as someone who was forced, and who managed to just barely keep my head above the water... I'm a very staunch opponent to the idea of Sink or Swim. What I had to live through was horrible, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. But not only that, I was very acutely aware that my only options were to figure it out or to quite literally Die.

As someone who survived the extreme of the other side of this coin that OP is talking about... the idea that I or anyone else could manage to survive such circumstances and then turn around and insist that the ends justify the means is both baffling and appalling to me, though I know that it very much happens. I cannot see it as anything other than "I suffered, so you should have to suffer too." It's awful to be on either side of this coin, and if you think it's okay for force people to Sink or Swim, whether you've been in that situation or not, than you can fuck right off with that shit.

Side note, I'm someone with support needs on the higher end of medium. I still can't manage to brush my teeth independently, and I don't manage to feed myself consistently, though I at least manage to do it often enough to get enough calories in me to stay alive (and that's ignoring anything other than calories that make up a healthy and balanced diet, because that's not an option for me. It's eat whatever junk food I manage to get into my my mouth or starve). I have to rely on schedules, because my brain doesn't really understand what hunger feels like. I just eventually feel like I'm going to throw up, and if I'm lucky, my brain figures out that I haven't eaten in all day and that's probably why. But there are days when, even if you put a plate of food in front of me, it wouldn't occur to me to eat it. I will just sit there and stare at it (or into space) without outside promoting to eat. I maybe manage to take out the trash or do laundry every two weeks if I lucky, and sometimes it's only once a month, or less. I have plastic bottles that haven't been taken out in at least six months, and probably closer to a year. Perhaps the only reason I can see the other side of this coin is because I basically live as close to edge as is physically possible without going over the edge, but I really hope that's not it. I don't think people should have to be constantly teetering on the knife-edge of this reality to understand that It's Really Fucking Bad to force people to Sink or Swim, or as I prefer to call it, Survive Or Die.

I don’t think people understand how it is to have been behind on EVERY milestone. Learning how to walk? Late. Learning to read? Late. Learning to use the bathroom independently? Late. Every single milestone was late.

And when you have this, people ask questions. People bully you. Why can’t you shower by yourself at 9,10,15,20? Why can’t you brush your teeth independently and frequently? Why can’t you tie your shoes? Why can’t you do math? Why can’t you do this, or that.

And then there’s the people on social media. “Well I was forced to.” “Well I didn’t have a choice” and that’s understandable and completely valid, but there are people that no matter how much you force them, or neglect them so they “figure it out” they won’t “figure it out”. They’ll die. They’ll starve. They’ll not bathe and be dirty.

Higher support needs people don’t just “figure it out” our brains are wired differently. Our brains don’t get that we HAVE to do these things just to survive. So we don’t. And that sucks.

It’s disheartening to constantly hear people say “well i was forced to” because so was I!! I was forced to do things too! I was neglected too! And guess what? I still didn’t do those things. I STILL wasn’t able to meet those milestones.

The big one that I see is “well I’m forced to talk.” And I get that, but me, a person that’s nonverbal, can’t be forced to talk. No matter if I’m neglected, no matter if my device is taken away or I have no way of communication. I still wouldn’t be able to talk. I CANNOT force myself to talk. Get that through your heads. This is my reality, and although yours sucked there are still some people who cannot do things, and saying that they could if they were “forced” is invalidating of them.

[frostbitten-writer]

Bathtub nights

Pairing: Ekko x gn!Firefly!reader

Tags: established relationship; no description of R; nakedness??? I don’t know how to name it, but no smut or suggestiveness; FLUFF

A/n: just a simple, cute one-shot that I thought about while daydreaming, so yeah, enjoy 🫶🏻

The rustling sound of leaves and the creaking of wood were the only things that could be heard in the slow night. The hideout was full and peaceful, the little ones kind of helping with the feeling of pure chaos. You were usually stuck with them during the day, but not that you were complaining, it’s just the fact that you saw Ekko even less. He was always so stiff and serious, never eating or caring for himself. The wrinkles and lines on his forehead were giving him a few more years than he had, making his young face look older. So that’s why you’re here, balancing the tray with his favourite dish in your hands while walking up the steps to his workshop, which, unfortunately for you, was at the top of the tree. 

The wooden door creaked open and you slipped your head into the room, only to see an even more slumped version of Ekko sitting at his desk. To the sound of your steps, he turned around, and you could see his stiff face softening ever so lightly from your presence. The workplace was untidy and yet cozy, just like Ekko. The whole atmosphere was just screaming him. The room was illuminated by a small, warm lamp that made Ekkos eyes seem even warmer, the little specks of gold shining so bright, you almost felt your body melt. 

Carefully setting the plate of food and bread down in the mess of his desk, you sat on his lap and wrapped your arms loosely around his neck while looking down at him with a tender smile.

“Hey..” He rasped out, voice groggy from several hours of silence, his callused and dirty from metal hands snaking up to your hips.

“Hi, tree boy, already studied everything about trees and their existence, or is there something more?” You joked, lips forming into a lazy grin, one hand coming up to one of his dreadlocks.

“Not yet, but I’m close to it..” He smiled, clearing his throat a bit before giggling quietly to you tickling him with his hair. 

He looked at your face with a certain softness that only he could give to you, the expression of love no one else got to see. If you stared a bit longer into his eyes, you could promise you saw his pupils forming into hearts. 

“What’s that that you brought..?” He mumbled, peeking at the plate with a mysterious meal.

“A bit of food, your favourite.. hazelnut soup~” You hooked his chin between your fingers, tugging his head back straight to face you, his big doe eyes looking at you with interest. 

“Really..? You’re so good to me.. how did I get with you..” He mumbled and rested his forehead against your shoulder, his eyes drooping closed. 

“Well, I have to feed you with something if you don’t eat yourself..” You teased, your hands sliding to his shoulders, kneading the lumps and muscles.

He whined a bit at the sensation, head lolling to the side.

“I just- I didn’t have time to do so.. I feel like time’s running away from my grasp..” He whispered sincerely, looking at you with puppy dog eyes.

“It’s okay, you just need some rest.. how about we take a warm bubble bath?” You suggested, doing your best to persuade him.

“You just want a reason to get me out of clothes..” He mumbled, his voice still tired but playful.

“Maybe~” You giggled quietly, jumping out of his grasp and then taking hold of his wrist. “Let’s go, space boy!” 

He only chuckled, the steamy soup long forgotten while you two ran down the spiral steps. 

Many Firelights stopped in their tracks at the sound of something or someone running down the stairs like a madman, their surprised expression growing back to neutral as they saw you two giggling and laughing. They all knew the effect you had on Ekko, they saw it by the way he would smile. Not the smirk he’d do when a plan worked, but a genuine one, an ecstatic grin.

When you reached your shared apartment, you slipped into the room, going straight to the bathroom, hands still clasped together. 

The steam was rising smoothly from the tub, the mirror already fully fogged, making the room humid and warm. He was about to ask how you managed to get it full, if you had already thought about it before asking him at the workshop, but he quickly shut himself up to the smell of the new oil or soap you borrowed.

“I found a new lavender and vanilla oil at the topside, smells amazing, right~?” You purred out with a grin, his expression confused and yet happy.

“Of course you did, found it.” He rolled his eyes affectionately, tugging at the hem of his shirt and pulling it off.

 

-

 

You both were now settled down in the bathtub, foam and bubbles flying around in the mist. He held you against his bare chest, your back rubbing against his skin, his long legs enveloping you from both of your sides. His dreadlocks were wet, his muscles finally getting their rest.

“Now that's a way to end the day, right..?” He whispered and pressed some lazy pecks to your shoulder. You only hummed in response, shifting sideways to face him, your damp hand wiping his face paint off.

“You always do that..” He giggled quietly, closing his eyes affectionately to let you get to his nose and forehead.

“And you love it..” You watched the drops of white colour roll down his cheeks. The smile on your face grew intimate, the chaos temporarily fading away.

“I do..” He whispered back, kissing the inside of your palm before tackling you and pressing gentle and chaste pecks all over your face…

[pixie-felix]

a/n: this fic has nothing to do with food.

why yes I did make these GIFs especially for this fic thank you for noticing

Something to read while we're waiting for the results of the no thoughts/hard thoughts poll. If you want a soundtrack, Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home) by Usher fits pretty well (no daddy kink in the fic though).

Smut under the cut, minors dni.

comfort eating.

You’d been staring at this damn code for so long you might’ve burned it into your eyeballs. Somewhere, in the distance, you’re vaguely aware of the apartment door opening and closing, and someone calling out that they're home.

But by now you’re so obsessed with trying to find whatever formatting fuck up you made, that even the metallic jingle of keys falling into the “let’s-not-lose-this-shit” bowl doesn’t bring you back into the real world.

It’s not until your laptop physically moves out of your hands that you realise. Chan is home.

Sitting on his heels in front of you, he gently picks the computer up off your lap, his expression a mixture of concern and understanding. One workaholic recognises another.

“Is everything backed up?” He too knows the pain of a well meaning friend trying to help by tidying up, and accidentally erasing hours of hard work.

“Cloud and hard drive. And external hard drive. Possibly tattooed on my retinas also." He nods and carefully sets it on the side table, snorting quietly when you get to the part about your eyeballs. The little crease between his brows remains though.

“You told me you were going to take today off…”

You'd only meant to do a few lines of code, just to check for errors and maybe add a function or two. And yet here you are, sitting in the exact same spot from this morning, neck and shoulders aching from being hunched over your laptop for…

7 hours.

Chan rests his chin on your knees, head tilted to the side as he looks up at you like a lost puppy.

“Baby…”

No. Wait. Puppies don't sound like that. Or look at you like that. Or rub soothing, promising circles with their thumbs on the bare skin of your calves.

You're suddenly very aware still in your pajamas. If you can call it that. Really it's just one of Chan's old t-shirts, the fabric worn soft, always smelling like him even though you slept in it- and not much else.

Yeah, Chan's definitely not giving you puppy eyes.

The wolf is here tonight.

And he wants to play. You can tell from the subtle smirk that quirks the corner of his mouth when you audibly swallow.

“How… how was work?”

“Long. Busy. Tiring.” He punctuates his sentences with slow kisses on your knees, the closed mouth kind that still manage to feel anything but chaste. “Jisung dyed his hair blue. Felix's is no longer blond. Hyunjin cut all his hair off. Someone said something about a kiwi fruit and now the stylists are all freaking out.”

His tone is light, almost absent minded, but his touch has progressed from soothing circles to something a little firmer, a little more… demanding. And as his hands slowly creep up your legs, you're fairly certain you know what he wants.

“Chan…”

“Yes, baby?” His lips stretch into something that could almost pass for an innocent smile, if it wasn't for the fact his fingers have worked their way up to the hem of his t-shirt, slowly teasing the fabric further up your legs.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

“Well…” his fingers sweep under the fabric, inching closer and closer to where arousal is bubbling in your belly, still carefully punctuating his words with kisses on your skin, “I figured, since we're both so... stressed…” his fingers finally brush against your panties and you shiver. “I could help you relax a little.”

“Wh-what a-about you?”

He’s tracing, teasing along the edges of your underwear, watching you bite your lip to keep your cool. He likes it when you try to stay quiet. It makes it so much more satisfying when you start crying his name like it's the only word you know.

And then the bastard licks up your thigh, tugging your panties down and saying the magic words:

“I thought I'd indulge in a little comfort eating.”

You didn't make it to the bedroom. You barely made it off the sofa. Instead, Chan just yanked you forward, laid back on the rug, and now you're riding his face in the middle of the living room. Making the kinds of noises you thought only existed in hardcore porn.

His arms are locked around your legs, holding you in place as he grinds you up and down on his tongue. Your hands are twisted into his hair, partly for balance, partly as an anchor… but mostly because when you tug on it Chan moans into your cunt and that feels so good.

He's already tongued you through one orgasm, licking you out like you are his favourite candy. He's so drunk on your pussy that he's murmuring the kind of filth that would usually make him blush -m’ baby tastes so GOOD, w’nna drown in thi’s pussy- though his words are almost completely obscured by the wet, sloppy sounds of him giving you the messiest head you've had in months.

It is amazing, and it's incredible, and Chan is clearly having the time of his life as another orgasm coils in your belly, ready to spring. But he's playing games with you now, teasing you with the gentlest flicks of his tongue, keeping that high juuuust out of reach.

Really, it's his fault that you can't help but yank his hair a little harder, grind down on his face harder, and then you're out of control, jerking your hips back and forth on his face until it hits.

And oh boy how it hits, gushing all over Chan's face, ripping all your dignity away as you buck your hips into his tongue, chasing the high rushing through you from your head to your toes.

You don't always squirt, but Chan loves it when you do.

His moans almost drown out yours, so loud he's practically shouting, definitely disturbing the neighbours with the string of enthusiastic cuss words and filth pouring off his tongue (that's right baby, cum on my face, fucking drown me in your cunt, jesus fucking christ-)

It takes you a minute to come back to yourself, Chan still desperately eating you out, working his tongue all over you like he's trying to lick you clean.

But the more he uses his tongue the wetter you get, the more your hips shake, and the closer you are to another orgasm.

One you're not sure you can handle.

You try to lift up a little, give him space to breathe, and your man straight up growls at you, yanking you back down on his face and sucking on you harsh enough to make you yelp. Reminding you who is in charge, he grazes your clit with just the gentlest scrape of his teeth...

And that orgasm you weren't ready for? Hits you like a railway train. You're aching and overstimulated and absolutely powerless to do anything other than thrash around and cry as Chan keeps sucking on your goddamned clit like the devil himself couldn't stop him.

You might've blacked out for a second. Or three.

It's only when you finally come to a gasping, shuddering stop that Chan finally gives you the two gentle taps on your ass that mean you can get off his face now (safewords aren't really an option when your mouth is full).

Except you're so worn out from relentless overstimulation that it's less of a dismount and more just you collapsing in a graceless heap, legs shaking and thighs aching from being held apart for so long.

Boneless and pliant, it's no effort at all for Chan to scoop you up into his arms and carry you princess style to your shared bedroom. You're barely awake as he tucks you into bed and crawls in beside you, nuzzling your hair as you curl up into his chest.

You've almost asleep when a Very Important Thought occurs

“Channie…”

“Yeah baby?”

“You didn't get to cum. Don't you need to cum? Y’wanna blowjob or sumthin’?”

Chan huffs a quiet laugh into your hair. You're so cute when your words are all sleep slurred.

“I already got what I wanted.”

You’re mumbling something about not playin' fair and don't w’nna be selfish, but you're practically unconscious anyway so he just kisses the top of your head and pulls you closer into his chest.

“You can make it up to me in the morning, if it bothers you so much.”

*It turns out that you will in fact, not be making it up to Chan in the morning. Because when he finds all the carpet burn on your knees, he has a minor breakdown and refuses to let you do anything all day.

Urgh, I feel like this is way, way too short, too rushed, and just generally had the potential to be so much better 😂😭 But I wanted to get it it out of my drafts before it gets lost in the poll fics. I wrote this on my phone, so it's probably riddled with spelling and formatting errors 😂 please forgive me. It's hard to write when the house is full and privacy is limited. Just 3 more days until the No Thoughts/Hard Thoughts closes 👀 thank you to everyone that's voted or shown interest, I hope my writing doesn't let you down.

p.s. I was gonna start this fic with the following GIF but not everyone wants a giggle with their word🍤 so that wouldn't have been very cash money of me.

m.list

hard thoughts poll

tagslist is open

[spxllcxstxr]

Jayce and Viktor Dating Someone with ADHD • Headcanon

(Gif not mine)

Request: Hiiii how are you? I love your stories so I was wondering if you could write more jayvik x reader but who has adhd? TYSMM -- anon and Your Jayvik + reader headcanons have me are giddy and are healing my soul. Is it possible to ask for a some headcanons with a reader who has ADHD and also forgets to eat because of it?? I hope your day is kind to you! -- anon

Warnings: gn!reader, reader has ADHD, mentions of food and eating/not eating, these are lowkey kinda short im so sorry lol

A.N: Disclaimer: I don't have ADHD but I have many friends that do and while ADHD presents itself differently for people, I tried to keep this a bit generalized, I hope that's ok!! If anything needs changing or needs to be deleted for being inaccurate or anything, just let me know! Hope you guys enjoy!!

•

Jayce and Viktor are both very understanding people, so when you told them you had ADHD they didn’t have a problem with it. They are, however, problem solvers (they are inventors with the dream of making Piltover and Zaun better for the people), meaning they are very curious about your habits and how they can help. They don’t want to “cure” you, because there’s nothing to cure, but they want to understand how to reassure you and how to make living with ADHD easier on a day-to-day basis

If you’re someone who fidgets with things a lot, Jayce will happily pick up the task of making something that satisfies your need to occupy your hands and your thoughts. He loves being in the forge and he’ll gladly let you sit in there with him and listen to you describe what you would want. He’ll sit next to you, sketching out the design while you ramble about what textures are better than others or how weighty it should feel in your hand. Jayce honestly loves this little side project; not only does it let him work on something other than his research, but it also puts a smile on your face

If you like rambling for hours about your latest hyperfixation, Viktor is the best for that. He has a naturally curious mind and would love to learn something new. He especially likes it when your head is resting on his chest in the middle of the night. Viktor likes watching you move your hands as you talk excitably about the plant life in Ionia or the history of the Yordles. He doesn’t just listen—he’ll ask you questions or give you reading material he thinks you may like as well

Going to Council parties or even just walking through Piltover can really overwhelm you sometimes, either with all the noise or the texture of your clothing feeling off, so your partners are very attentive to your wellbeing. The three of you set up a codeword for anyone to use when someone needs or wants to leave. They try to make it something funny every time to hopefully ease the panic a little bit. Usually Jayce and Viktor are glued to either side of you hip, but in the off chance they have to roam around the room, the two of them will try to keep an eye on you. They will always reassure you that it's ok that they are leaving these sorts of events early (Viktor barely wants to go in the first place), and when you get home the three of you will do something to calm everyone down and get into comfortable clothes

Having ADHD, you tend to get distracted/forget to do certain things. This usually includes eating. Your partners never want to seem overbearing or like they're smothering you, so they will try to subtly remind you to eat/do certain things. Jayce likes writing you little notes and putting them in the apartment. Usually they have little hearts in the corners with some encouraging remark after "remember to eat!" Viktor will usually try to eat with you, so you won't feel alone while eating. He'll be making something and he'll set the table for either two or three and that just reminds you to actually sit down and eat what Viktor makes

Your partners are very patient and are always open to new ideas. if you want them to do something different or if something works really well, they would love to hear it. They absolutely will not be mad at all, they love you so much and all they want to do is help make things easier for you

•

[icarusredwings]

This only fits into my idea that Wolvie is demi. Sure he knows someones hot when he sees them but he dosn't really... feel anything.

He's been alive so long that people doing stuff to him just feels... kind of annoying at this point? Like yeah, okay, in Logan the drunk wife girl flashed her tits at him and he snorted, and rolled his eyes all embaressed but I don't think this counts as "hot and bothered." I think this counts as "omg lady calm down lol im just the driver lol" he did think it was a nice gesture but its an empty gesture and thats why it dosn't really do anything for him.

I think this is why he and Kurt get along so well (HERE ME OUT) Because one of kurts biggest "flaws" is that he is extremely touchy, and while the other x men cant touch logan much or lean on him, sit on him, etc, Kurt can full pearch on him and Logan dosn't care. Actually he does care. He's glad. He's happy that Kurt feels this safe with him. Happy that he feels comfortable enough to be around "the angry guy with claws". Happy that Kurt openly gives him affection without there being this weird "okay now we have to fuck" silent agreement. Logan is so tired of trying to get to know someone, cuddle them and hug them, without them immediately expecting them to sleep together. (*JINGLES KEYS* Stay with me!)

And i mean... no.. hes not sex repulsed clearly but it dosn't feel right in his chest. To fuck someone and then they leave. Wolverines mate for life so I think the thing is, what gets him hot and bothered is proving youll stay. Sticking it out with him through all times, telling him you're never going to leave him.

Then- Oh good golly then? Everything is horny worthy. You could just be sitting there and he'd get all pissy because now hes horny and mad about it. You could cassually bring him food and say you thought he might be hungry and he'll let the food get cold because hes too busy fucking you, and then eat the food after to show gratitude and appreciation.

Logan is not meant for hook up culture. He is made for "Our souls are so intertwined that seperating us would put a tear in the universe."

He could see someone whole ass naked and just blink and ask where their clothes went. You could tell him that you want him to do the dirtiest things and he'd probably just blush and think you have alternate motives.

I like to think that he does sometimes finally accept a hook up here and there simply because A. Why not. He hasnt been held in awhile and B. Why not he's literally gonn live forever might as well get some tail if they're offering.

But if and when he finds that person(s) he's locked in. Theres nothing no one else could do that would make him all hot and bothered. Someone could literally give him a lap dance and hed probably just sit there confused as hell, tell them stop, or just leave. It doesn't do anything for him at all.

Now litsen (at least in Finding Home Au, cause theyre married) Wade could come slip into bed with him, very gently rub his arm, kiss him goodnight, then cuddle into his back and Logan would automatically sit up and glare at him cause now hes hard.

"Why do you keep doing that?! Stop!"

And wades all confused "stop what?" Cause hes genuienly tired, but too bad cause Wolvie puts that baby to sleep a different way. (Best sleeps of his life btw)

Morph too, I feel like in 97 morph gets a lot of passes for jokes and touchiness. I also feel like that for the first week (maybe a month idk logan is dumb) or so logan thinks moprh is joking and dosnt actually care about him in that way, so morph starts saying more genuine and sensitive things to him and Logan now is actually blushing, still in denial but is catching butterflies, hoping that morph isnt lying but is too scared to make a move, worried their friendship will end.

Man idk what to say about storm. Logan was hot for storm the first time she punched him in the face. Idk what to tell yall, hes a simp for that woman and I am too so like I get it. Id be terrified to fuck storm though if I was litTERALLY MADE OF METAL like bruh he has more balls then me cause id be scared shed kill me after I ate her out by electrocuting me with my skull crushed between her thighs. ANYWAY

🫡🫡GLORRRY GLORY WHAT A HELLUVA WAY TO DIE 🪖🪖💪

I think Logan would be very difficult to get hot and bothered. Like. He's been through so much yanno?

Like flash a titty at this man and he'll probably be like, "what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Can't you take me to dinner first?"

[snwusberry]

pairing: dad! seonghwa x mom! black reader

warning(s): food and eating

genre: fluff

wc: 1181

merry christmas to everyone who celebrates (it's almost 10pm here rn)

reader pov

the sound of overlapping voices fills the room. plates are being passed around, utensils clank against bowls and the smell of the variety of food invades my senses in the best way. the kids have been called back from whers they were playing to join us for the grand dinner we were all anticipating the whole year. christmas dinner with my husband's family and it's our 4th time attending, this time with yet another new born along with our four year old. now i know what people say about the father/husband's side of the family but i adore each and every one of these people.

however, i have learnt over the years seonghwa and i have been together that his family knows how to do chaos. they do it too well, if you ask me.

“pass the japchae, would you?” seonghwa's cousin calls out from the far end of the table, leaning forward and almost knocking over a glass of water in the process, making mr park let out an exasperated breath.

“relax ara, it’s coming. you act like you haven’t eaten all year.” he says, shaking his head.

“she eats every two hours like clockwork.” seonghwa jokes, dodging the chopsticks ara half-heartedly aims at him.

i can’t help but laugh as i scoop some onto my plate. his family is loud, hilarious, and utterly shameless when it comes to teasing each other,but its how they show love.

at the other end of the table is our 4 year old daughter who's sitting on a booster seat along with her cousins without a care in the world. she's having so much fun over there, i might just leave her here. she's busy chatting away with her uncle about lord knows what.

"uncle junho is eating so fast!" she exclaims almost too loud. she fits right in, i could tear up.

"i'm hungry. look at you, you're eating like a bird." he tries defending himself which offends her.

"no i'm not. daddy, uncle junho say i eat like a bird."

"she does not eat like a bird." seonghwa says, coming to the defense of the little girl which brings laughter to everyone around the table.

seonghwa's aunt—we call her aunt vera because she said to calm her that—clears her throat, drawing everyone's attention as she picks up the untouched dish from the table. everyone quiets down and eyes the dish. not a word being uttered in disbelief. good or bad, it's up to you to decide.

"what is it?" her son asks what i think were all wondering.

"its my famous brussels sprouts gratin." she declairs brightly as if she just stated the obvious amd the room falls awkward silent with a strained "oh" here and there.

"is that what it is?" i hear someone feintly ask and i'm almost certain its seonghwa's sister, seonghee.

9"famous where?" junho asks under his breath, earning him a nudge from seonghee.

i turn and glance at seonghwa who's biting his lip to keep from laughing, but the look we exchange says everything.

"well... thanks for bringing it." my mother in law says to her still enthusiastic older sister.

"oh of course. i thought i'd add a little something different to the table. a little western touch for our dearest daughter in law's sake." she enthuses, oblivious to the looks of everyone around the table. even the kids are quiet.

"wow... thank you aunt. that's very thoughtful of you." i respond politely and junho stifles a laugh which spreads to ara.

"you don't have to eat it." seonghwa whispers and i nudge him with my elbow.

"looks funny." seonghee's son says, breaking the silence and seonghee looks at him completely defeated.

"sweetheart." she breathes out and everyone laughs, including aunt vera.

"eunbyeol, dear. eat your carrots." my mother in law says to our daughter but miss girl hates vegetables. no matter how i cook them, she hates them. only way to make her eat is if i make a full vegetarian meal. then she doesn't have a choice.

the little girl just shakes her head vigorously.

it was worth a shot. seonghwa and i just give his mother an apologetic look.

as the meal continues, the gratin remains mostly untouched, sitting forlornly in its dish as everyone conveniently “forgets” to pass it around. and by the time desert rolls around, we're all pretty much stuffed. i stepped out to breastfeed the littke monster who woke up screaming her little lungs out. seonghwa ran in panicking before he realized it was time to feed her.

"ready to go see everyone again my baby? wanna be held by big sister byeollie?" i coo at the baby who has a vice grip on my breast and is drinking for today and tomorrow.

"you two still good in here?" seonghwa asks, walking into the room and i nod at him.

"say we're fine papa." i prompt the little girl who is absolutely silent. the way we talk to babies needs to be investigated. "will you burp her?"

seonghwa nods and i hand him the baby who finally let go and he puts her on his shoulder and gently pats her back. once he's done with that we both walk out and eunbyeol is already in front of us.

"mommy, dadfu, is she awake?" she asks, her voice full of excitement. we already know she wants to play with her.

"wide awake." her eyes light up and seonghwa goes to sot down sk that eunbyeol can see her sister properly and her cousin joins in. seonghwa is smiling from ear to ear seeing how much eunbyeol adores her sister. nothing makes him happier than his daughters.

except me, of course.

a little while later, seonghwa joins me at the table where his mother, father, aunt vera, seonghee and ara are still sitting to have dessert.

as the night winds down, eunbyeol climbs into my lap, her energy finally starting to wane and seonghwa is in the other room with eunha and the guys. the room is still filled with the hum of conversation and laughter, and i feel a warm contentment settle over me.

“did you have fun tonight?” i ask her, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

she nods sleepily, resting her head against my chest. “best christmas ever,” she murmurs.

yeah i know she's lying, she says this every year, but okay.

at the end of the night it's that bittersweet time to say goodbye to everyone.

i hug everyone, my mother in law giving me an especially long one, refusing to let go.

"mother, hugging her any longer, won't make them stay the night." junho jokes and seonghee flicks his head, causing him to whine. how this man has a whole kid is beyond me.

"drive safely, okay?" my mother in law says sadly and we nod.

"we will. bye everyone." seonghwa, who's carrying a sleeping eunbyeol says and we go to his car, settling the kids before getting in the car and driving away. another family christmas, successful.

[munsonsmixtapes]

Sharing is Caring

steddie x reader

summary: Steve and Eddie decide to have an open relationship and despite that, Eddie decides to keep the girl he met in a chat room a secret. Little does he know that Steve is keeping a secret of his own.

cw: brief mention of struggle with sexuality

ladybaggins has requested to chat!

ladybaggins: hi

eddiethebanished69: hi

eddiethebanished69: fan of Bilbo hm?

ladybaggins: of course

ladybaggins: that’s my husband

eddiethebanished69: so that’s my competition?

ladybaggins: we’re not exclusive. Why? Are you flirting with me, Eddie the banished?

eddiethebanished69: what if I am?

ladybaggins: then I would be prompted to ask if that’s you in your pfp

eddiethebanished69: it is

ladybaggins: fuck-

eddiethebanished69: can’t tell if that’s a compliment or insult

ladybaggins: definitely a compliment

eddiethebanished69: good

ladybaggins: are you in a band or something? I see you’re playing a guitar in your pfp

eddiethebanished69: yep

eddiethebanished69: but I won’t share my band name to protect my anonymity if you don’t mind

ladybaggins: of course I don’t mind

ladybaggins: what genre are you categorized as?

eddiethebanished69: heavy metal

ladybaggins: that’s hot

ladybaggins: I mean-that’s hot

ladybaggins: that’s really cool

eddiethebanished69: have a thing for metal bands, hm?

ladybaggins: maybe-

eddiethebanished69: you are already becoming very interesting, Lady Baggins

eddiethebanished69: well, I should go make dinner. Same time tomorrow?

ladybaggins: I wouldn't miss it! Until then, Eddie the banished.

Eddie leans back in his chair at his desk, smiling to himself as Steve enters the office. He doesn't know why, but he's quick to close the tab where he was talking to you. He has nothing to hide, especially since he and Steve recently decided that they wanted to have an open relationship. So he's not cheating on Steve and he definitely doesn't feel ashamed. He just wants to keep this to himself because he shares everything with his boyfriend. This is something he's going to keep between himself and his web browser. And you, of course.

"Hey, honey," Steve says as he drops a kiss to the top of Eddie's head. giving his shoulders a squeeze as he does so. Eddie lets out a hum as this is the one thing that he loves the most that Steve does. It just a sweet gesture that showed Eddie just how much Steve loves him.

"Hey," Eddie turns in his chair, puckering his lips, asking for a kiss and Steve is quick to oblige, resting his hands on the arm rests on the chair while leaning down and capturing Eddie's lips between his two. Once he pulls away, Eddie pats his lap and Steve is quick to sit as Eddie turns to face the desk again, opening up the city building game that Steve loves to watch him play.

This is their favorite activity of the day. No matter how many times they do it, they never get bored. Steve loves the way Eddie's hands rest on his thighs and Eddie loves how Steve will lean his head back on his shoulder. It's the perfect setup.

Afterwards, the two of them head to the kitchen where the Chinese food that Steve had picked up on his way home from work. The table is already set and they sit in their respective chairs, eating is comfortable silence.

Steve is rubbing his foot up and down Eddie’s leg and Eddie takes Steve’s free hand, bringing to his lips for a gentle kiss. Eddie doesn’t know how he got so lucky as to have someone as amazing as Steve, but he’s not going to question it. And he certainly doesn’t take it for granted either. He’s always quick to tell Steve just how much he loves him and how grateful he is to have the man in his life.

It goes both ways. Steve is equally grateful for the man sitting across from him, wondering why he had been so rude to him in high school when he’s nothing but a sweetheart. He sometimes still can’t believe that Eddie gave him a second chance when their paths crossed again when they realized that they were going to the same university.

Eddie always knew he liked men, very secure in his sexuality and Steve thinks that’s one of the many reasons why he disliked Eddie. Because he was always unapologetically himself, always seen going on dates with different men and women around town and Steve envied that.

Steve also was always attracted to men even though he would try to deny it. He just liked that guy’s pants and wanted to know where he got them or wanted to know that other guy’s workout routine so he could get jacked like him.

Steve didn’t fully come to terms with the fact that he was bisexual until his senior year of high school. Everyone was playing spin the bottle and his landed on Evan Thompson from his English class. He always thought the guy was cute and would have even gone as far to say that he had a crush on him. But kissing him was a whole other thing.

Steve went for it anyway since rules were rules and even though it was just a quick peck, up until he kissed Eddie for the first time, that was the best kiss he had ever had.

That night, he went home and couldn’t get Evan or the kiss out of his head, wondering what was wrong with him and why he was thinking about it so much. He didn’t think about guys in that way. He was just confused because he hadn’t kissed anyone in a while.

But after a long conversation with Robin, they both came to the same conclusion. That Steve was bi and that there was nothing wrong with that. And accepting it was like a giant weight had been lifted from his chest. It was like he could finally breathe for the first time.

He tried to date men when he moved out of Hawkins and went to college, but it never seemed to go quite right. He was ready, he knew it, but he just couldn’t quite get comfortable enough to be himself.

That is, until he officially met Eddie towards the end of their freshman year. It was a lame party and the two of them shared a joint out on the back porch of the house.

Eddie was the first person Steve officially came out to other than Robin and besides her, he was the only other person who really saw him. To him, he wasn’t Steve “the hair” Harrington, he was just Steve.

Chemistry built pretty quickly and before either of them could stop it, the two of them were making out, the joint long gone, their hands now tangled in each other’s hair.

And afterwards, Eddie walked Steve back to his apartment and the rest is history. They’ve been together ever since.

After dinner and plenty of kisses, Eddie retires back to his office, wondering if you had messaged him again while he was eating, but there’s no new messages nor a green dot next to your profile pic.

He can’t stop thinking about you and he doesn’t know why. He hasn’t really been attracted to anyone else since he got with Steve, but you’re different and he can’t quite put his finger on it.

He thinks it’s because he’s still got it. He’s able to flirt without being too awkward and you seemed to be into it. He wonders if you’ll message him tomorrow and flirt with him some more.

[duexnuts]

mark my words | megumi x reader ⋆˙⟡

probably ooc, not proof read

ch 2: day one | masterlist! | next ch.

that night, you had quite literally, crashed out. right after family dinner, you grabbed a tub of ice cream (the family size ones, not the pints) and sat on your bed, crying. it’s not exactly easy to get over getting rejected from a company right after they see you. 

you had woken up today to your phone ringing with a call from jujutsu tech. on the other end was megumi fushiguro with a job offer. even though you were covered in sticky melted ice cream and your head felt foggy, you immediately accepted the offer. 

“thank you, mr. fushiguro. i really appreciate the offer! of course i accept it.”

“alright then, y/n. i’ll see you on monday,” megumi replied as he hung up the phone. 

holy shit. 

“shoko, can you pinch me?” you called out to your sister as you ran into the kitchen, where your sister and dad were eating breakfast.

“someone’s happy,” your dad said, grabbing you a plate. 

you sit down, immediately digging in and beamed, “i got the job!”

the two were so proud of you. your dad even posted it on facebook! 

it is now monday. 

“welcome to jujutsu tech! im mai, i’m going to be showing you around today!” a girl with short black hair says while walking up to you. 

“hi, i’m y/n! i’m really excited to work here,” you introduce yourself, while walking to the elevator with her.

she presses the button to go up, “y’know, i actually applied for your position. i don’t know why he chose you.”

rude. the elevator arrives and you both get in. 

she presses the button for the fifth floor, “just so you know, we’re on the fifth floor. make sure to not forget that.”

“oh! okay. i won’t, thanks for the info,” you reply, “so, is there anything i should know about working here? y’know, like little tips and tricks.”

she looks you up and down, and says, “maybe i’ll give you a tip if you’re able to last more than a week.”

wow, she’s just a peach. the elevator arrives at the fifth floor and you both get out. she immediately starts walking away from you, and you follow her.

“so, here’s megumi’s office. see you later!” she says, walking away from you to the receptionist’s desk. 

okay, it’s time to meet your boss. 

before stepping in, you try to calm your nerves by taking in a deep breath. you knock and open the door.

megumi is sitting at his desk, staring at his computer screen. after you come in, he looks up, smiling, “are you y/n? welcome!”

you smile back, nodding, “hi, mr. fushiguro! i am so excited to work with you, i have always wanted a spot in the tech industry.”

he looks at you, seemingly a bit surprised, “well, being my assistant is a great start. i’m sure you can get a higher position here one day, y/n. also, you can just call me megumi, there’s no need to be so formal.”

he gets up from his seat, motioning for you to follow him. he leads you to a desk that is right in front of his office, “this is your desk, feel free to do anything you want with it. the phone is right here,” he says, pointing to a landline that looks eerily similar to the ones your teachers had in high school. 

you smile and sit down before saying, “is there anything you want me to do right now?”

you said that three hours ago. you have been running around the building new york city ever since. no time to sit down! it’s time to get megumi coffee, but not from just any coffee shop, one that’s 30 minutes away. 

it’s okay though, it’s all worth it. right?

you text him, “a black coffee right?”

he likes the message. 

it cannot be that special of a cafe. no black coffee can be worth that much. ding!

he texts you, “oh can u make sure to get me a croissant too?”

you like the message. 

after getting his food, you head back to the jujutsu tech building and hand it to megumi. 

“megumi, why have you been making me run around doing menial jobs all day?” 

he sighs, “look, i’m sorry. i don’t exactly want an assistant. gojo, my boss, forced me. i would’ve given the same treatment to any assistant i was given, y/n.”

is he serious? 

“you hired me. you called me two days ago and said that you wanted me as an assistant. you will have me as an assistant whether or not you care, megumi,” you reply, “you will not break me– i don’t care how unprofessional i am being right now.”

he looks surprised and says, “i truly am sorry. maybe this will just take time, you can just go do my phones. thank you, y/n.”

as you walked out of his office, you did regret your words. so, for the rest of the day you took his calls, except during your lunch break.

in the middle of your call-frenzy, you were interrupted by a pink-haired boy.

“hi! im yuji, you’re new right?” he asked, adding, “would you like to get lunch with me and nobara?”

that question led to you having the best break you have ever taken during work– you three were laughing at everything the entire time. then you returned to answering megumi’s phones. 

before leaving, you walk back into megumi’s office, finally mustering up the courage to apologize. 

“megumi, i apologize for how i acted earlier. i understand if you want to fire me,” you say. 

“i’m not going to fire you. i think it may be easier to have you here; i’ve just been so used to being independent this entire time, i’m sorry.” 

he hands you a box before speaking again, “here, you’re free to go home. see you tomorrow, y/n.”

you wave bye before leaving. you open the box– it’s a black van cleef necklace. worth the day’s work!

a/n: jenny write an actual paragraph challenge (failed)

[slushiebonez]

wagegang is kev rad rick n streber so adding dexter would be like. wagegang+ yeah thats what im calling it

anyways. wagegang+ driving / car headcanons. very long so its under the cut. also this takes place in michigan because i live there lol viva la midwest

kevin has a license but doesn't own a car. He wanted to pay for it himself instead of his parents so right now he's stuck on a bike since I don't think there's much public transit in a small town like that lol. Not bad since his work isn't too far of a ride (one of the reasons he chose it), but it gets kinda dicey on grocery runs. When he can't fit everything in the front basket or a backpack he hooks a milk crate to the back. As for driving, he's a very cautious driver. Maybe too cautious, being on the highway makes him hella nervous, especially in inclimate weather or when people are going fast because some people do not know how to behave on the highway. in michigan if youre on the highway youre probably gonna end up going like at least 10-20 miles over the speed limit or else people will get mad at you and kevin is gritting his teeth the whole time. Always does his best to go the speed limit and always uses turn signals, less out of fear of the law and more out of fear of crashing. Would tell you to put your seatbelt on because he doesn't want you cracking the windshield with your face, that costs money. Once hit someone's bumper while trying to park and got so worked up over the idea of having to pay someone's insurance over it that he had to get out of the car and sit on the curb for a few minutes to chill the fuck out. Strongly opinionated on the roundabout vs four-way intersection debate. When someone pisses him off on the road he fumes and growls about it under his breath for the next ten minutes. Keeps a little travel bottle of hand sanitizer in the cupholder. road trip snacks of choice are hi-chews, andy capps cheddar fries and an arizona tea (either raspberry or arnold palmer).

streber got a hand-me-down dark grey ford focus from his parents in high school and has been driving it since. named it sheila. plays ferryman for the gang when theyre going somewhere, and sheila bears the scars of it. despite barely passing drivers ed as a teen hes surprisingly probably the safest driver. Sometimes makes illegal turns at intersections because he doesn't wanna go around. very particular about the "driver gets radio privileges" rule. will full-body lean over someone in the passenger seat if he needs to and will not announce that he is dong this before he actually does it. once yelled at kevin to get in the car while leaning over to the passenger window and snagged one of his belt chains on the center console / gear shift and they were almost late to the event while he tried to untangle them. glovebox and center console are full of extra napkins from fast food places, if you spill something or sniffle a little he'll toss them at you from the front. if you eat something in his car he'll hand you a napkin, and if you refuse it he'll ball up a few of them and throw them back at your head. will tweak out if you leave crumbs in his car. rad got him one of those little vampire rubber duckies and he keeps it on the dashboard. becomes incredibly distraught any time he sees a dead animal on the side of the road and will slam on the brakes if a deer looks like its about to cross. When someone pisses him off on the road he yells in the car and hits the horn but tries to get it together afterwards. will talk shit about drivers long after. mean mugs people at red lights. road trip snacks of choice are sour gummy candy, those tins of flavored almonds, and a faygo (usually either redpop or cream soda).

radford got a permit but never actually completed the hours to get a full license. calls shotgun any chance he gets, and almost always tries to fuck with the radio. keeps getting put on navigation duty since he calls shotgun, and is pretty good at it until he gets distracted, at which point he completely loses the route. champion of calling out an exit or turn as they're already passing it. has left many a mark on streber's car. the list includes stupid anime stickers he stuck to the rear window and then couldn't get off, baby on board bumper sticker he got as a gag, stain on the back seat from trying to steal a sip of kevin's slushie after a gas station run and spilling it all over both their laps, and a different stain from the time they picked up his little brother from the fair and he threw up because he ate way too much funnel cake and got convinced by his friend to ride those shitty whiplash-inducing mini coasters like five consecutive times. amongst many other incidents. behind the wheel he's an alright driver, but has a bad tendency to miss turns or almost hit stuff. offered to drive robert to school to get hours on his permit and almost immediately hit a curb and busted the tire. accidentally break checks people with some regularity. hangs air fresheners in the family car but never takes off the old ones, so they collect into a massive swinging cardboard flail weapon. first time he tried to do a Michigan Left he almost caused an accident. if a window fogs up he'll draw on it with his finger no matter how many times he's told to stop and that it smudges the window. it takes a lot to piss him off while driving as he usually laughs off mishaps or bad drivers, but if he gets mad enough he'll try to roll down the window to yell at / flip off the person, in which whoever else is in the car has to remind him he needs to keep his eyes on the road. points out a deer crossing sign or a road work ahead sign every time without fail. road trip snacks of choice are a pack of twizzlers or those sour punch straws, fritos or bugles, and a lemonade.

dexter has a license through some sort of miracle, seeing that he had to retake the test like five times from fumbling it so bad. not because he's a totally bad driver, hes actually pretty good behind the wheel. other than not using turn signals, most of the time he doesnt use his turn signal and just goes for it. the main issue is his absolutely godawful road rage. anybody having sub-optimal behavior on the road, inclimate weather, traffic, most things will piss him off. once he gets pissed he gets reckless, curses people out loudly and flips them the bird, hits the horn and steering wheel, punches the dashboard and hits his head against the seat headrest, break checks people and tries to cut them off, etc. in any other seat hes fine, but the moment he's put behind the wheel he loses all composure. not allowed to drive streber's car anymore under most circumstances after scratching the hell out of the passenger door trying to cut someone off on the highway (unfondly remembered as The Pontiac Incident). As a passenger he's more toned-down, at least to the degree dexter possibly could be. points out roadkill every time he sees it despite the fact that it makes streber upset. has a bad habit of slouching down in the back seat and putting his knees against the back of the passenger seat with the seatbelt resting near or on his throat. streber had to stop hard at a light once and it choked dexter so hard he was coughing for minutes, now does the slouch somewhat less or just opts not to wear a seatbelt. will shit talk other drivers for you whether you want him to or not. forgets to kick the snow / mud off his shoes before getting into the car unless directly told. incredibly good with navigation, but rarely volunteers or overrides radford's volunteering. His mom has an old beat-up car, but he doesn't really use it because he doesn't want to mess up his mom's car (he knows he has road rage issues, he just usually doesn't care about the consequences unless it's his mom. if he has to drive his mom somewhere, he does his best to behave for her). somehow always manages to leave cat hair on streber's car seats and it pisses streber off so bad. road trip snacks of choice are warheads / toxic waste / other stupidly sour candies that burn your taste buds off (which he always tries to convince radford to try them and thinks its hilarious when he reacts to the sourness), bag of beef jerky, and a gatorade (usually red, green or orange).

rick has a license simply because his family made him go get one the moment he hit 16, but he rarely ever uses it and by this point it's probably expired. he doesnt drive because he doesnt like to lol, not only because its a lot of effort that he doesnt like putting in, but also because there are far too many things to focus on at once and if you whiff one people start getting mad at you, at which point he just quits lol. his preferred and favorite seat is the back seat on the left by the window, if its available he will take it immediately without saying anything. everyone knows thats rick's spot so they let him have it every time, even when its inconvenient, because if he cant have his spot he lowkey quietly sulks and it brings down the energy in the car. never suggests places to go or things to do but if you ask him to come along he'll usually say sure and get in the car because being taken somewhere "fun" with the minimal amount of effort is something he's capable of accepting lol. number one champion of putting on his headphones and staring out the window quietly until they get somewhere. When he's actually behind the wheel he's... fine, it's serviceable, but it is also kinda nerve-wracking to put the depressed guy in michigan driver traffic lmfao. can follow a map fine but forgets to actually announce the directions and / or doesn't care enough to actually bother so they rarely put him on navigation duty. the guy who prefers the car trip to the actual location (he is real for this). he doesn't road rage out loud, if someone does something stupid on the road he's just silently pissed off and sighs and white-knuckles the steering wheel till hes out of that area. go-to road snacks are whatever is cheapest, saltiest, or sweetest (he has little to no preference).

if any of these headcanons don't make sense its because i dont have a license and have never done drivers training yet lmfao

[jakekazansky]

What’s the point of scheduling a delivery for later if you’re going to make it and deliver it now???????

[lupismaris]

..

[jorvikzelda]

speaking of yearning. god i cannot wait (like literally) to go home with the cat. it will make my whole life better… like all of it

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

[anyoldfandom]

The problem with starting to think about the Pack more is the fact that now I want to grab Skalamander the same way I grabbed Bobo like. My house now. I want to use your character potential.

[healingheartdogs]

Saw a post earlier of someone being like "see how my puppy isn't bothering me while I eat and is minding his own business playing in the other room? That's because in this house animals aren't ever allowed to have people food from the moment they come home with me so they never even learn to want it." The post and most of the comments on it were very high and mighty "I'm a better owner than other people, I'm the boss of my dog, I don't allow my dog to offend me by showing desire for highly desirable resources" attitude and were very much judging other people for not having the same boundaries and annoyances about dog behaviors around food with their own dogs in their own homes and I just like... absolutely can not relate at all, tbh. There is a type of person who uses phrases like "people food" unironically, thinks that dogs being allowed to have good things that are usually intended for humans is somehow offensive and wrong, gets annoyed by a dog even being allowed to exist in the same room when people are eating, and thinks a dog just looking at them for more than 30 seconds while they have food or hanging out watching them doing stuff is the dog bothering them and being rude, and every time I encounter this type of person it makes me wonder why they even own a dog when they clearly hate natural dog behaviors and are bothered by dogs just wanting to be around people, do things with them, and receive human attention more than once in a blue moon.

When I make breakfast after I wake up and take it to my room to eat Hermes always eagerly follows right behind me because he expects he's going to get something from me. That expectation is almost always correct, and I feel absolutely zero shame about it. Him laying calmly at my feet or next to my chair quietly watching me eat is not "bothering me". He's quite literally not doing anything to be a bother, he's just patiently chilling. If a dog hanging out nearby and calmly watching while people eat bothers you enough to consider that bad nosey behavior that is deserving of you ridiculing other dog owners for allowing it that's uhhh... weird af? At least to me it's weird, sorry not sorry. Like maybe you actually just don't like having dogs around then if they can bother you without even really doing anything? Cuz IDK about y'all but I love my dogs hanging around me and wanting to be close to me and even seeking engagement from me. I love them being excited about being around me and following me around because they know I give them good things. I also like having their attention and eyes on me in general - especially Hermes, as a dog of a breed that is often more environmentally focused than handler focused and whose attention I've had to work for and earn. Looking at me is something that I specifically reward all my dogs for and immediately start to capture during their initial introductions to clicker training because I find it to be beneficial during training sessions (as well as a good way to charge the clicker), so it would be ridiculous and unfair for me to get annoyed by it and discourage it in other scenarios like when I'm eating. In fact, I see Hermes calmly laying down nearby and politely seeking eye contact with me whenever I look his way while I'm eating my breakfast as a sign that he knows how to act to get what he wants because he understands his training well, and that he is putting that training to work by being an attentive calm good boy and waiting patiently for me to respect my end of the deal that I have taught him and give him his reward for the behaviors he's offering that I have repeatedly asked him for in the past.

Also like... if he is in the way somehow while people are eating or if we're eating something he can't have and I don't want him near us just in case someone drops something (even though he has an extremely solid leave it, still better safe than sorry) then I just tell him to go to his bed??? and then share a little bite of my food with him to reward him for going to lay on his bed if it's safe or give him something else like a couple of small dog treats or a pork chew on his bed if my food isn't dog safe. After that he will stay on his bed and keep being a calm patient boy because he's learned that staying on his bed after being told to go to it means he will continue to occasionally get more treats or small pieces of my dog safe food tossed to him for the duration of his time there until he is released. Often times because he's working so hard to be calm and patient to earn a few bites of my food he just ends up falling asleep next to me or on his bed, which is definitely the opposite of being bothersome. I like to thank him for that patience and calmness by gently waking him up to share the last bite of my food or give him a little treat jackpot and some praise before releasing him.

Maybe I'm a "bad" trainer (lol) but I enjoy spoiling my dogs by sharing some of my dog safe "people food" with them in moderation, and you can definitely share "people food" with dogs without making them annoying or untrustworthy around food. Despite what the person who made that post seems to incorrectly think, simply letting a dog have a taste of "people food" sometimes does not create unwanted bothersome behaviors around food. Rewarding unwanted behaviors that bother you instead of wanted behaviors that don't bother you is what causes that. That's it, that's the sole cause. Like... you could just only share food with them if they're being calm or waiting patiently on their bed or whatever it is you want from them during meal times. Boom, the "bothering" problem is solved and your dog still gets to enjoy a special treat. In fact, my experience as a dog trainer is that the high value and novelty of that special "people food" treat often makes the rewarding of the not-bothering behavior you want from them while you eat much more motivating and effective than giving them one of their regular treats or chews as a reward or distraction, so the settling down not-bothering behavior you want is even more likely to be consistently freely offered up in the future since it is so highly rewarded.

When I've had clients in the past express concerns about causing begging by giving their dogs "people food" or tell me they feel guilty about it because they've been told by people like that poster I saw that it's a bad thing to do in general, this has been my advice to them - not to stop doing the whole sharing thing that makes them and their dog happy, but just to make it more productive for the kind of relationship they want to have with their dog and the behaviors they are wanting to see. It's a simple solution that can turn a meal into a nearly effortless high value training session for teaching settling during household activities and around food, which is something that is a common frustration to achieve for a lot of inexperienced dog owners. If you handle your dogs sometimes being given bits of food scraps as treats this way then everyone wins, especially the people who like to spoil their dogs and share food with them (which is VERY NORMAL TO WANT TO DO BECAUSE WE ARE A SOCIAL SPECIES THAT BONDS THROUGH RESOURCE SHARING) because now those people can turn that desire to spoil their beloved companions into some easy training. Just be sure to consider if ingredients are dog safe or not and be mindful of oversharing and sharing foods with high fat content because maintaining a balanced diet is important for health.

Also that OP apparently doesn't realize this yet based on the wording of their post, but if you have a dog that is at all decently food motivated then just ignoring them while you have food and never sharing is not going to teach them to leave people alone in the presence of food and never try to seek food from anyone. This is especially true if anyone ever accidentally drops something around your dog (it'll happen eventually) and they snag it and self reward because you never actually taught them not to do that, or if anyone else in your house isn't as firm with that boundary or is unable to enforce it consistently and ends up giving them food purposefully or accidentally (as can often happen in households with children or that sometimes invite guests over). "I don't ever share people food with animals in my house starting from day one and I ignore them when food is out so they never learn to even want it to begin with" is not training your dog to leave food or people who are eating food alone. That's doing nothing and hoping that your new puppy or dog doesn't care about the delicious smells of food or people gathering together in the house for food related activities multiple times a day enough that they will quickly get bored and give up on trying to investigate all "people food" related activities for the rest of their lives without you training them, which is an absolutely ridiculous expectation. Just not ever giving a dog any of your food doesn't make it stop smelling like food to them and won't magically make them never be curious about seeing what you have and if they can get some of it. They don't have to be given food by you off your plate to know that it smells interesting or to figure out that seeing you eating it means it might be something they can eat. Having a superiority complex about NOT actually training your new puppy how to act around food and ignoring them as "training" instead is certainly funny, in a "not funny haha, funny weird" kind of way. It's also pretty irresponsible since some foods that humans eat are dangerous to dogs. Instead of just ignoring them when food is around and hoping they'll learn to leave all food that isn't their dog food alone on their own, a responsible owner should actually be actively teaching their dogs to leave food in general alone unless it is offered to them, even when food is left where they can easily get to it.

Anyway, if people could just stop being weird about dogs doing normal dog things and existing in spaces around humans, do some basic research on dog behavior and how dogs learn before getting a dog, actually train their dogs to the minimum level required to make themselves not be regularly upset at their dogs for acting untrained and "bothering" them, and stop developing weird superiority complexes because they get lucky for a while right after bringing home a new dog or puppy and it manages to not cause them any problems or upset them yet... that would be cool.

[shmokeymoe]

This is silly because it’s such a nothing issue

But I hope I’m relevant enough in this fandom