#have much much planned I wanna show with him
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vettelsvee · 1 day ago
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Hi love! For your tortured poets department, can I request endgame from the reputation album, lando being the driver please please 🙏
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END GAME | Lando Norris
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Lando Norris x Friend with benefits Piastri!Reader
SUMMARY: You were used to have random hookups just for fun, including with Lando Norris himself. It's not until he decides to lock both of you up on his driver room and talk about your weird relationship that you don't realize that, deep down, you're willing to settle down your mind and start a dating him ↳ REQUESTED: Yes! Thanks for requesting and hope you like it 💖 Part of REPUTATION in MY TORTURED DRIVERS DEPARTMENT
WORD COUNT: 2745
WARNINGS: Slightly +18 at the end (sorry for leaving it there ☺️), mentions of friends with benefits, spelling with multiple people, angst, curse words
VEE'S NOTES: Haven't written Lando in a very, very long time, so hope you like this one! University and my mental health are killing me but you know what? Writing is what keeps me going (and specially your comments have been a boost of serotonin for me lately). Also... the 2k special is already living rent free in my mind and I can't wait to achieve the goal to post it 😭 I wanna give spoilers now so... you know 🤓 ↳ TALK TO ME / REQUESTS! | FORMULA 1 MASTERLIST
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© VETTELSVEE (2025). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
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"You finally decided to show up at a race. I was starting to think you only liked having me naked in your bed behind your brother’s back."
You smiled at the screen, playing with your fingers as you thought how could you answer Lando. Your relationship was based purely on sex, moreover sexting, with barely any real conversations whenever you met, moans and orgasms speaking for you both instead.
You had never felt the need to go beyond that, to involve feelings in your relationship, or at least that’s what you had made clear to Lando before sleeping with him the very first time. You also let him know that, besides him, there were other guys with whom you had no commitments whatsoever.
However, it was with Lando that you spent most of your time. The others were nothing more than a safe escape, an easy way out when the Brit wasn’t around.
"Be grateful that I even came," you finally replied. "And don’t flatter yourself. I came to see my brother, not to make you come before a race."
You hesitated, wondering if your reply was harsh enough to keep him from getting any ideas and, more importantly, to stop him from insisting on meeting up. You weren’t sure how, but you wanted to end that strange relationship before it spiraled out of control because, whether you wanted to admit it or not, you had started to feel something for him.
Yes, just a few weeks ago, you had one of your usual encounters with a friend of one of your best friends. But everything fell apart when, right before reaching your climax, you couldn’t help it: you moaned Lando’s name instead.
That was what made you question what exactly you felt for Norris and why the label of friends with benefits seemed to be fading away.
"Don’t play dumb, Piastri. See you at the motorhome. You know exactly where."
You huffed. Of course, you knew exactly where you’d be meeting. After all, ever since your brother became a Formula 1 driver, you had visited his teammate’s personal room more than Oscar’s.
With a sigh, making sure neither your mother nor your sisters were nearby, you got up, grabbed the plastic cup that still had a bit of coffee left, and walked with as much determination as you could muster toward McLaren’s motorhome, finishing your drink along the way.
As you walked, mentally preparing a script in case things got tense with Lando, you greeted the people you knew, or at least those who knew you as Y/N Piastri. Lewis was genuinely happy to see you and even stopped to chat, but you excused yourself, saying you had already made plans. Fernando gave you a knowing look, as if trying to figure out what exactly you were about to do with a certain driver.
Even your brother crossed paths with you at the entrance to McLaren’s motorhome. You managed to lie to him, partially, saying Lando had asked you to take a few pictures of him before the race.
Oscar gave you a strange look, then rolled his eyes, offered a small smile and told you to enjoy whatever it was you both were about to do.
You said nothing, but you knew your twin brother well enough to realize he already had a pretty good idea of what you were up to with Norris. Not that you tried too hard to hide it.
When you reached Lando’s room, you didn’t even have to knock. The door opened instantly, revealing a slightly tired-looking Lando with a cup in his hand. His race suit was already on but zipped only to his waist, leaving the top half hanging loose. His team cap was still on, though it didn’t last long since he took it off and tossed it aside within seconds.
He grinned from ear to ear, like he had been waiting for you with far too much anticipation.
"Come in. Make yourself at home," he said with that mischievous tone you were so used to hearing, though something about it felt slightly different this time.
You walked inside without hesitation, crossing your arms and ignoring him, except for the occasional sideways glance to see if he would do or say something before you did. Unfortunately, he didn’t.
"If you wanted a quick fuck before the race you could’ve just said so, you know?"
"I don’t think today’s the best day to fuck you and let everyone hear," he replied. "At least, not yet. Today, we’re going to talk."
"We don’t talk, Lando," you shot back, feeling an internal alarm go off. "And when we do, it’s just to ask about the safe word of the day, what we want to do to each other, and how close we are to coming."
"Well, maybe it’s time we started talking, don’t you think so?"
His answer took you completely by surprise. Your gazes remained locked on each other, and you felt the atmosphere grow tense.
For the first time in a long while, there was no excuse you could use to avoid that conversation with Lando. Maybe the fact that you had been ignoring him for the past few weeks was enough to make him realize that there was a chance—however small—that things had changed between you two.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm the growing sense of unease settling in your chest. Lando kept looking at you with that same intensity he always did, except this time… it was different. It wasn’t the first time you found yourselves in a situation like this, where there were a thousand unsaid things hanging between you, waiting to be voiced. But it was the first time, at least on your part, where feelings were involved beyond pure physical desire.
"I don’t think there’s anything to talk about," you said as nonchalantly as possible, but your tense posture betrayed you.
Lando set his cup down on the table beside him. Then, he sat on the edge, crossing his arms again, and reached for your hands only for you to pull away and take a step back.
"I think you know exactly what we need to talk about," he replied calmly. His voice was lower than usual, and you felt the heat grow between your legs. You shook your head, feeling guilty and doing your best to push away that sudden, but familiar, awakening in your body.
"You’ve been avoiding me, Y/N. And don’t tell me you haven’t, because you were in Monaco and never called me to meet up… to see each other," he added, his voice laced with something unreadable. "In fact, we usually sext almost every day, and you didn’t even bother to tell me what  new lingerie set you bought for when you came over."
"I didn’t tell you I was coming to Miami either."
Your reply, rather than making you sound indifferent, exposed you completely. Lando raised an eyebrow, as if he had caught you red-handed. That was when you realized you had seriously screwed up.
"I haven’t been avoiding you, Lando. I’ve just been busy," you insisted.
"Busy? You mean busy by ignoring me?" He scoffed, ironic. His expression turned much more serious now, and you started to worry about where this might lead. "Tell me the truth, Y/N. What’s going on? What’s happening with you?" he emphasized.
You averted your gaze, pretending to take interest in the room’s decoration, a room you already knew by heart. You knew you couldn’t keep dodging the topic, but you also had no idea how to confront it without changing everything you had so far. It was impossible to put into words what you felt for Lando, not when your relationship had always been purely physical. And especially not when there was a real chance you were just confused… and, well, you couldn’t forget the possibility that he might only see you as his hookup.
"Nothing’s wrong," you finally responded.
"I thought we were always honest with each other," Lando sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair.
You felt your throat tighten. It was hard to breathe. You had been honest, at least when it came to the unrestricted desire between you, to touching each other without attachments, to seeking comfort in one another without questions that went beyond your wildest fantasies. You had avoided anything personal.
But now, you were slowly breaking the unspoken rules that had kept you in perfect balance until this moment.
"I’ve been busy, Lando, and the last thing I wanted was to deal with you, alright?" you insisted, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "Things should have stayed the way they were until, according to you, I started ignoring you."
"No, Y/N, things aren’t like that," the Brit denied, shaking his head. He stepped closer, cornering you against the wall. "If you don’t want to face something because you’re afraid of rejection, just tell me. But, for fuck’s sake, don’t act like I did something wrong, because you’re killing me."
"Lando…"
"Stop insisting that nothing is happening between us, when that’s exactly what makes me think the opposite."
His confession caught you completely off guard. His words—clear, direct, and without a hint of sarcasm, threw you off… especially because you knew he was right.
You felt the urge to run, to disappear, to pretend none of this had ever happened. Most of all, you wanted to deny yourself any romantic thought you had ever had about Oscar’s teammate.
When you lowered your gaze, Lando moved back slightly, giving you space and making sure he didn’t overwhelm you more than you already seemed to be. You sighed, trying to relax once again, but before you could say anything, he spoke first.
"Tell me nothing’s wrong between us, Y/N Piastri," he said softly. "If nothing has really changed, if everything is the same between us… dare to look at  me in the eyes and say it."
Your chest tightened. You couldn’t run away, not when Lando had you emotionally cornered, teetering on the edge of an explosion. Your breathing was unsteady, heavy. Your mind screamed at you to find an excuse, anything that would let you stay true to yourself regardless of what happened next.
Lando waited, unmoving, his blue eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made you tremble for the first time in your life—without him even touching you. It was the first time he had shown himself to you like this: so vulnerable and yet so determined at the same time.
"Nothing is wrong between us, Lando Norris," you finally whispered, forcing the words out, ignoring both your heart and the boy standing in front of you.
"Say it again, but this time, look me in the eyes."
He didn’t move an inch. He knew you were lying; your posture gave you away—the way you avoided his gaze, the way your fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt and your accreditation pass…
You squeezed your eyes shut tightly. You had no choice… at least, not entirely.
Lifting your gaze, you met his blue eyes once again. Your lips parted slightly, ready to try and let out a lie convincing enough for both him and yourself.
But it was impossible. You couldn’t keep doing this, not when, deep down, and no matter how hard you tried to deny it, you felt something more than just pleasure for Lando Norris. The fear of rejection… it terrified you. The thought of him turning you away, of losing what you had with him, was unbearable.
"Lando…"
"You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready," he interrupted. "But please… stop pushing me away. Stop making this to us."
"It’s just…"
Nothing. No matter how much you tried to explain yourself, to find a logical enough reason for your sudden ghosting, you couldn’t.
"It’s just what, Y/N?" the Brit pressed. "Are you afraid to take a risk? To admit something because you’re scared of what might happen next? Because you don’t want to change the life you’ve had until now? Because you want to…?"
Lando forced himself to stop. He ran his hands through his hair, exasperated, turning his back to you. Guilt hit you immediately, your body trembling as the storm inside you began to break free. The driver rubbed his face, frustration radiating from him. This was exhausting him. You were exhausting him, to the point where he was starting to doubt his own feelings. Feelings that had started to grow the moment he realized it hurt when you ignored him, when you didn’t even send him a simple "Hey."
"I wish this were different, Y/N," he finally murmured, his voice thick with emotion as he turned to face you again. "I wish you didn’t make me feel like this. I wish I could just be content with what we had before and pretend none of this was happening…"
Your stomach twisted painfully. That was exactly what you had been thinking, the very reason you had pulled away from him and from whatever this was. You had ignored the fact that your feelings for Lando Norris had become something much stronger—maybe they had been there for far longer than you were willing to admit.
"Lando, listen" You tried to step closer, but he pulled away.
"No, Y/N, no," he said bitterly. "I tried convincing myself there was a reason you were ignoring me, acting like I was nothing to you, and then it hit me that I really want you as more than just someone to fuck."
"That…" you struggled to say, stepping toward him. This time, Lando didn’t stop you. The sincerity in your eyes, the way you looked both calm and nervous at the same time, made him realize he had to trust his instincts. And that was exactly what they were telling him.
"That’s what I wanted to tell you," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, but Lando still heard you. "That’s why I kept you on standby for two weeks… I knew this would change everything, that you’d react badly, that we’d end up fighting, and I… I didn’t know how to face the possibility of you rejecting… this."
Lando stared at you in surprise before a sad smile crept onto his lips.
"Y/N… I’ve always been good at reading signals, but this has been driving me fucking crazy."
"And you think it’s not been making me feel the same?" you shot back, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders.
Lando stepped closer, taking your hands in his. You didn’t resist, feeling how the both of you tensed at the contact. His lips inched toward yours, and when they finally met, the kiss was so fierce, so full of passion, that you ended up straddling him on the couch, moving against him, desperate to feel him. Even though you both knew there was still a race in two hours.
"I don’t want to touch you like this, Y/N," Norris whispered against your ear as you left small bites along his neck. "Y/N, stop it babe…"
"I don’t wanna be just another ex-love to you, Lando…" you murmured between kisses, still searching for friction between your bodies.
"And I don’t wanna miss you like your other lovers do, babe…"
This time, Lando gripped your waist firmly, flipping you onto the couch beneath him. His eyes never left yours as he carefully lifted your shirt and started massaging your breasts over your bra.
"I wanna be your end game, Y/N," Lando breathed, unable to tear his gaze away from you.
Your breath came out in shallow pants, and you felt like you were teetering on the edge. Your hands gripped the unfastened gear around his waist, tugging lightly to keep him close.
"Then prove it."
"I have a race in two hours, love…" he murmured, his voice rough as he pressed his forehead to yours, his arousal growing.
"Then you better be quick," you teased, running your hands over his abs beneath the fireproof. "Especially if you don’t want Osc to hear us…"
"You’re gonna be the death of me one day, Y/N Piastri," Lando groaned as he trailed his fingers up your thighs, lowering himself before you. "Now, open your legs for me... You deserve a punishment after being such a bad, bad girl these past few days…"
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hoonieyun · 2 days ago
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a lovesick girl's guide to heartbreak
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˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ fwb!jake x reader i start fights cause i wanna makeup... summary: although you specified with jake that you were only looking for a fwb, you just love getting a kick out of pushing his buttons. after all, as much as you like starting fights with him, you like making up with him after even more.
warnings: kissing, drinking and playing beer pong, jake and yn are not good people, i'm not sure the term but they use other people to get back at one another, suggestive, consensual skinship, possessive!jake, jake slightly chokes yn but its consensual!! bratty!reader ,18+ wc: 3729
hoonieyun notes: this is probably the spiciest one out of this series but no smut because i can't bring myself to write it so everything is quite suggestive lol
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you’re getting ready to go to a party when a text on your phone catches your attention. setting down your lipstick and reaching for your phone, a smile appears on your lips as you read the text in your head. 
from: jaeyun  need me to pick you up baby?
the text reads and you’re smirking to yourself knowing that you’ve got something up your sleeve. jake has gotten on your nerves lately because although the two of you weren’t exclusive, you were each other’s exclusive friends with benefits, meaning you two would only be seeing each other but not dating. 
however, he loves to act like you’re just some girl when the two of you are in public, ignoring your advances and doing his best to act like he isn’t smitten with you after spending the weekend at your apartment, cuddling you in his sleep and making you breakfast in the morning. 
sure, it was nice to have a warm body next to you when you slept at night but you were beginning to think that jake was becoming more than somebody you wanted to fuck around with and could see a life with him as your boyfriend, the only thing was you weren’t sure if he felt the same way. 
he always acted differently from the jaeyun that you knew in your bedroom and the jake that you knew when it came to being around your friends and in public. you wouldn’t necessarily say he was ashamed to be with you but more often than not it felt like he was hiding this relationship the two of you had like it was something to be ashamed of. 
you decide not to respond and set your phone back down to finish the last of your makeup but another text rings once again. you go to look at your phone to see another text from jake, this time he’s being less sweet and more assertive with you. 
from:  jaeyun alright, i’ll see you at the party i guess
you roll your eyes in annoyance at the fact that he was being so passive aggressive but you couldn’t blame him because you were being just as passive aggressive and even more with what you had planned for the night. another text appears on your phone but its from a different person this time, now a smile on your face that wasn’t partnered with mischievous. 
from: myungjae :3  hi cutie, i’m outside. take your time, ok?” 
myungjae was your plan for the night. if jake wasn’t going to flaunt you around like somebody he was proud to have on his arm, you’ll find somebody that would and you did. myungjae was a guy you had met at jake’s soccer game. he had come up to you before the game when you were at a vending machine and you learned that he was a player at your university’s rival team. you texted occasionally and myungjae wasn’t shy to show you how much he wanted to take you out on a date. 
out of respect for jake, you always politely declined myungjae’s advances but as of lately, jake’s behavior has pissed you off so much that you didn’t care anymore that you yourself asked myungjae out on a date; to which he enthusiastically accepts. 
a part of you did feel bad that you were using him to get back at jake but at the end of the day, it’s all fun and games, right? 
you quickly spritz perfume onto your exposed clavicle and admire yourself in your mirror one last time before heading outside to meet myungjae. flipping your hair over your shoulder and thinking about how killer you looked tonight, knowing how you could have any guy crawling after you tonight. 
when you exit your apartment, you see myungjae outside leaning on the hood of his car as he waits for you, you smile and do a slight jog to get to him, trying to make sure you don’t fall over in your heels. “hi, myungjae.” you say in a sickly and sweet voice. 
“hi, cutie.” he says, smiling down at your pretty face, taking in your features and overall demeanor, he doesn’t even notice he’s checking you out until you playfully slap his chest. “keep it in your pants, mister.” you taunt and he rolls his eyes with a smirk knowing that you know how much of an effect you have on him. you place a small kiss on his cheek before he opens the door for you and grabs your hand to help you in. you watch as myungjae runs around the car to get to the driver’s side, sliding into his seat and making your way to the party– his hand on your exposed thigh the whole drive. 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
when you get to the party, myungjae doesn’t leave your side at all, one of his arms is constantly draped around your shoulder or waist, or his soft hands gently wrapped around yours. it was a party by someone at your university so he only knew a few people aside from you. he follows you as you make your rounds throughout the party like he was a lost puppy and you had given him a sliver of attention that he craved. 
 you introduce myungjae to a lot of your friends and find your way to the kitchen where you fix the two of you a drink, a concoction inside of a red solo cup of whatever looked good and a cold glass of beer of myungjae, explaining that he’ll only have one bottle because he wants to be sober to ensure he gets you home safely. you found him so cute, pinching his cheek, if your brain wasn’t so tainted with the idea of jake you probably would’ve chosen myungjae a long time ago but jake was just constantly running on your mind no matter how badly or well he treated you in and outside of your bedroom. 
as jake enters the kitchen, his steps slow down when he sees you handing myungjae his beer, clearing his throat to get both of your attention. 
“yn, nice to see you.” he says, anger clearly in his eyes. 
“hi, jaeyun.” you say, using the name he said was specifically reserved for you. 
“have you met myungjae? he plays for the bonedo soccer team.” you ask even though all three of you know the answer to that as jake and myungjae are known to have quite the rivalry. “sup, man.” myungjae says, raising his glass to jake and jake just nods in response before stomping over to the fridge to get a beer of his own. 
“have fun.” you say as he leaves the kitchen, knowing that you were not beginning to get under his skin just by showing up with not only another man, but also a man that he didn’t like. “you guys good?” myungjae asks and you turn to him with a bright smile and nod, “mhmm, don’t worry your pretty head.” you say, toasting your cup with his bottle and taking a sip of your drink, smirking to yourself once again now that your plan for the night has begun. 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
you’re dancing with myungjae when you glance over to a corner of the room and see that jake was sitting on the couch with yunjin in his lap, twirling her hair while jake stared at her lips. you couldn’t believe it, jake was trying to play the same game as you by getting with a girl that you didn't like. you always voiced to jake how much you didn’t like yunjin because you felt like she was always competing with you for things that didn’t matter like when she got chosen for an internship over you and told everyone it was because she was smarter than you when in reality it was because the ceo of that tech company was her godfather. 
jake suddenly catches your gaze and smiles at you as if he was saying, “two can play at that game.” and you know what, two can certainly play that game so to piss jake off even more, you switch your position from facing myungjae with your hands around his shoulder to having your backside to his front, moving his hands to your waist instead as the music picks up and your bodies begin to move in unison. 
if anyone saw the two of you right now they would probably mistake you and myungjae as a couple and knowing that people were perceiving you that way only angered jake further because although he would act like he didn’t know you in public, he was the only would that should be touching you in that way. 
when you revert your gaze back to jake you see that he’s angrily storming out of the room, leaving yunjin with an annoyed expression as she’s left alone on the couch also watching jake leave the room. 
yn: 2 jake: 1 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
the next time you see jake, he’s with chaewon in the kitchen, his hand fiddling with the hem of her crop top, a longing gaze in her eyes as she watches jake who you knew wouldn’t return the same expression because he would only look at you that way. 
you and myungjae make your way back inside of the kitchen to fix yourself another drink, ignoring jake and chaewon because you didn’t want to give them the attention jake wanted from you so bad. you bring your cup to myungjae’s lips as you offer him a sip and he takes a small sip because he just can’t resist the look in your eyes. 
jake on the other hand is tightening his jaw and is gripping his cup so hard that it constricts, causing the liquid on the inside to splash onto him and chaewon, “what the fuck?” she exclaims, causing you and myungjae to look over at them. you see chaewon swipe her hands in annoyance to get rid of the beer on her skin and jake apologetically follows her out of the kitchen as she storms out. you roll your eyes and shake your head knowing that jake couldn’t beat you in your own game. 
no matter how hard he tries to get under your skin, you were already deep under there. 
yn: 3 jake: 2 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
you soon find yourself competing against jake and chaewon in a game of beer pong with myungjae. you were surprised he was very good which you knew only made jake angrier as he wasn’t the best at the game. you had even warned jake that he should probably find another couple to play against, boasting about myungjae’s abilities without knowing if your bluffs were true. 
the sound of you calling yourself and myungjae a “couple” sets him and causes him to start the game before you even accept his challenge– and with just a few tosses, you and myungjae have only lost one cup while jake and chaewon had lost all but one cup. 
it was myungjae’s turn to toss the ball and for good luck, he asks you to blow on the ball and you oblige. blowing on to it with puckered lips and an unbreaking gaze with myungjae. jake is gripping the edge of the table as he watches the two of you, chaewon standing off to the side disinterested in any of this as she’s noticed that jake was more focused on trying to win you over and competing with myungjae than he was interested in her. at some point she ends up leaving after she receives a text from yunjin saying that jake ghosted her at the party so she leaves without notice and jake definitely doesn’t notice her absence. 
when myungjae skillfully tosses the ping pong ball towards the cup, it goes right in, earning cheers from everyone watching and most importantly, you. you’re jumping up and down while clapping, proud that myungjae has successfully won you the beer pong game and to reward him you’re about to wrap your arms around his neck and give him a kiss but you’re suddenly dragged away when jake grabs onto your wrist and pulls you outside into the front yard. 
“let me go, jake!” you yell, trying to free your hand but his grip on you is relentless and there was no way you were freeing yourself. 
“are you done?” he asks and you look at him with an expression that reads like you had no idea what he was talking about. jake inches closer, his nose almost touching yours as he looks down into your eyes with so much fury in his eyes at the stunt you had pulled tonight. you looked up at him with an arrogant gaze knowing that your plan was successful, flashing him a smile like you were so innocent in all of this, jake can’t help but smirk at you; wiping his face with aggravation. 
“yn, are you ok?” myungjae says from behind as he stands at the door. 
before you could even respond, jake flashes his middle finger at the poor guy and drags you to his car, leaving myungjae behind without an explanation; a noticeable pout on his lips as he watches you willingly leave with jake and get inside of his car. 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
the drive to jake’s apartment was quiet, his jawline more prominent than usual as he’s constantly flexing his jaw in annoyance, trying to think of what he wanted to say to you but all he had in his head was how he was going to make you beg after being so bratty all night. 
the grip he had on your thigh was a lot different than the one myungjae has on you hours before, jake squeezing your thigh with so much force that when he let go as you arrived at his apartment, there was a visible print on your skin. 
“get inside.” he says and you know not to disobey him further, a smile on your face as you think about all of your efforts tonight being successful and how this was the result that you wanted. sure it was wrong to start a fight with jake all because you wanted to but at the end of the day, it was his fault for acting like he didn’t crave your touch every night. 
it may be wrong to like to start fights but it was all because you enjoyed making up after a lot more. 
when you enter jake’s apartment, he’s right on your heel, shutting his door behind you and pressing you against the door, his hand wrapping around your neck. “you wanna act like a brat?” he taunts, eyes scanning your face and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t find jake’s behavior attractive. you decide to stay silent to push his buttons even more as he hates being ignored. 
“hmph, i’ll make you regret acting like that.” he whispers into your ear, his lips lightly grazing your ear as he hauls you over his shoulder and takes you to his bedroom. you try to fight him off, squirming around but it is to no avail as his strong grip around you prevents you from moving around too much. 
you were starting to think that this was all a bad idea but you couldn’t help but crave the way jake treats you whenever you act this way. 
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
after several hours of releasing tension, anger, and frustration; you and jake are laying on his bed, out of breath and staring into his ceiling. the blankets are covering the two of you and you’re laying in silence after everything that just happened. you got what you wanted and so did jake even if he was furious with you just a few hours ago. 
“you still being bratty?” he says with a cocky smirk and you just roll your eyes at him as you sit up, bringing the blanket up further to cover yourself. “jake i wouldn’t be acting like this if you treated me the way i deserve to be treated.” you say and the harsh truth hits jake in a way that he didn’t expect. 
he thought you were only acting like that because you wanted his attention but not because you were genuinely bothered by his behavior, “what are you even talking about?” jake says, turning towards you and propping up his arm with his elbow and resting his head into his hand. 
“jake, you practically act like i don’t exist when we’re in public or with our friends.” you explain and jake huffs as if he was exhausted from this conversation already. 
“we’re not even dating?” he says and now it was your turn to be furious with him. “that’s not the point, jake! you act like i don’t exist, you ignore me, and you act like you’re ashamed to be seen with me but once the sun sets you’re texting me to have me sleep in your bed. 
how is that supposed to make me feel? i know we’re friends with benefits but the first word of that arrangement is ‘friend’ and you haven’t treated me like one.!” you shout and jake was getting up to get dressed, avoiding your gaze. 
“oh and bringing myungjae’s ass to the party, were you being a good friend? you know i don’t like his ass!” he retorts and you’re standing up in aggravation because jake was not getting the point, “that doesn’t matter!” you try to yell back and he interrupts you, “yes it fucking does! you know i don’t like him and you still brought him to piss me off, why!” he shouts and jake has never raised his voice at you like this before. the two of you getting caught in a screaming match like no other as you both shout at the top of your lungs at one another. 
“because i like you and i wanted to be with someone that liked me the way i like him but the whole time you were the only one on my mind, ok!” you shout, finally confessing to jake that you’ve developed feelings for him despite that being the golden rule of your arrangement. 
never catch feelings. 
jake wipes his face with a heavy sigh and you’re plopping back down onto the mattress after getting so worked up you found yourself standing on top of his bed, the blanket barely clinging onto you. 
“what?” jake mutters. 
“i like you, ok? i have for a while and it pisses me off that you act like i’m just some girl when we spend almost every night in each others arms, you hold me at night like you never want to let me go but when morning hits sometimes you’re gone before the birds even begin to chirp. 
you make me feel things i know i’m not supposed to feel and it hurts, ok?” your chest is rising up and down as you finally let out your feelings and jake is looking at you like you’ve just told him your deepest and darkest secret. 
“thats… no! you can’t like me, i’m not good for you!” he explains and you’re looking at him like none of the words that leave his mouth make any sense. 
“you’re too good to me, you’re so sweet and kind and treat me like i’m the only thing that matters in your life even when i’ve been so shitty to you. even right now! i’ve been shitty to you and you’re professing your love to me and i don’t deserve it. i don’t deserve you!
you deserve better and i’m not that.” jake responds and you’re fighting off the tears pooling in your lashes. 
“you don’t get to decide what i deserve..” you whisper and you’re staring at one another in silence. 
jake is weighing the option in his head. he loved you so fucking bad, probably even more than you loved and his actions tonight showed that with how bad he fought for you despite you constantly choosing myungjae over him. if jake was being honest, he fell for you fairly quickly when he spent the night one weekend and gave him face masks to put on because you had made a comment on how dry his skin was. it was that small gesture that made him fall for you and everyday after he fell deeper and deeper. 
jake was terrible for you and he knew that and although he wanted to be selfish and keep you all to himself, he knew that your life would only be miserable if you stayed with him. that’s why he started avoiding you and slowly distancing himself in hopes that it would just drive you away but it only drove him closer to you because he hated seeing another man touch what was his. 
“no.” was all jake says and you didn’t need any further explanation. you’re jumping out of his bed and shoving past him to put your clothes back on and jake instantly regrets this, trying to get you to stay but it seems that jake has made up your mind for you by not rejecting you but dictating what you deserved; and it wasn’t him. 
“wait- don’t leave, come on.” he begs and you’re shaking your head and wiping your tears away, angry that you were crying over a man who didn’t even spare your feelings after you had just confessed to him. 
when jake tries to grab onto your arm to stop you from leaving, you’re quick to snatch your arm away and leave his room, standing at the door to listen to the last of his pleas, begging you to stay and explaining that you are meant to be and that jake didn’t mean what he said but it was all too late. you could tell he was just backtracking because he was scared of losing you and although you felt the same way and wanted nothing more to run back to him; you left jake in the darkness of his bedroom without another glance. 
deciding that you do deserve better even if the realization came from a heartbreaking experience, the revelation a result of having to lose someone you once held so close to your heart. 
"makeup" slayyyter x lolo zouai the usage of song lyrics is credited to the artists above
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all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.
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wildfluer · 19 hours ago
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⚘( ၴႅၴ DISTANCE ( jj maybank )
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— summary after weeks of being distant, jj shows up at your door late at night. something’s wrong, but he won’t let you in.
— content warnings angst, mentions of abuse/implied abuse ( jj )
— a/n first post on here!! i felt like writing gut wrenching angst but i’m not sure if i like it
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it started with distance. the missed calls, the unread texts. the way jj avoided your gaze, eyes darting away quickly. at first, you ignored it. it was normal for him to act distant sometimes. it was just his natural response to everything. he was always dealing with shit, and that was how he coped. you respected that—but this time, it felt different.
even as you were trying to ignore it, you couldn’t. the bruises on his knuckles never seem to fade. pope tells you he’s been picking fights at the wreck, at parties, anywhere someone is dumb enough to take the bait. kie says he’s been drinking too much, disappearing for hours, coming back and barely being able to stand. her voice is full of worry as she tells you, “he won’t even talk to any of us”.
he won’t talk to you either. you wait, hoping he’ll come to you for help. but jj maybank doesn’t ask for help. he never does—he spirals. and right now, he’s spiraling hard.
. . .
it’s past midnight when you hear a hesitant knock on your door. you almost didn’t catch it over the sound of the rain hammering against your window. when you open the door, jj is standing there, soaked head to toe from the rain. his hoodie clings to his body, hair dripping into his eyes.
when he looks up at you, you feel your heart throb. he looks miserable. “i had nowhere else to go,” he mumbles. his voice is raw, like he’s been screaming or crying—probably both. you quickly urge him to come inside. he doesn’t meet your eyes as he steps in, dripping water onto the floor. you grab a towel and hand it to him, but he just stares at it like it’s some foreign object. “jj,” you murmur, your voice quiet as if you don’t wanna scare him off.
he blinks, finally taking the towel but barely using it. instead, he runs a hand through his soaking wet hair, exhaling shakily. “i can’t—i don’t wanna talk, okay?” he rubs his eyes, sighing. “i already know you’re gonna offer to help me or some bullshit, but i don’t need help, alright? i just needed somewhere to go.” he’s rambling, and as you go to place a hand on his shoulder, you see him flinch. you quickly retract your hand. it’s a subtle movement, but you saw it. and it made your stomach drop, because it confirmed your suspicions.
“jj,” you start, voice soft and careful. “what happened?”
he exhales sharply, shaking his head. “that dosen’t matter.”
“it does,” you say.
he lets out a bitter laugh, running a hand down his face. “no, it really doesn’t.” you want to argue and tell him that it does matter—but you know jj. you know that pushing too hard will only make him pull away faster. you don’t know what to do. “hey, it’s okay. you don’t have to tell me what happened. but you also don’t have to act like whatever you’re going through doesn’t hurt either.”
his jaw clenches, eyes flickering to the floor. “i don’t feel anything.”
you frown at his words, “i don’t believe that.” jj scoffs in response, but there’s no real fight in it. just exhaustion. you watch his shoulders tense, his hands balling into fists at his sides. he’s struggling, and you can see it. you watch as his eyes dart toward the door like he’s already planning his escape.
but then, something cracks. he speaks, his voice wavering this time. “i’m so fuckin’ tired of this shit,” he exhales, “i’m so tired.” he sounds so defeated that it breaks you.
“let me help you,” you whisper. “please, jj.” he looks at you, and for a moment, you think he might let you in. but the moment is brief, and poofs into thin air in a second. you speak up again, this time begging him to not leave. but he doesn’t budge. instead he turns toward the door, his fingers hovering over the knob. for a second you thought he might change his mind. he doesn’t. with an exhale he mutters, “thanks for letting me stay for a bit.”
and just like that, he’s gone.
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meo-eiru · 1 day ago
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Hi hiiiiii!!! I just wanna say i love ur oc’s so much, they live rent free inside my head like a growing necrosis!! Ever since u dropped the character trivias for Lavi and Elias I cant stop thinking about an AU with the game Catherine for Elias and Lavi but like with a lil twist to itt (the twist being i cant properly remember the entire plot to Catherine, its been like a decade since i played it so i tweaked so much of the actual storyline to better fit the narrativeT-T) feel free to delete it if its too weird;;
TW: cheating, pregnancy, reader/mc is pregnant, ooc Lavi im sorry, Elias having a reasonable crashout, yandere behaviour, continuous affair, reader/Mc cheats, character death(?), misuse of commas and my terrible grammar really
Okay so Imagine this, whilst drinking out one day, trying to drown out the midlife crisis and potential worries about the future, you end up having a drunken one night stand with Lavi, this one night stand however snowballs into an affair as you end up sleeping with Lavi AGAIN.
You’re pregnant, and you’ve been in a relationship with Elias for 5 years, Elias is absolutely ECSTATIC to find out that you’re pregnant, and is even considering marrying you if you agree to it (you have no choice in the matter btw lol), so in order to plan for the baby (and wedding), Elias has been taking more and more modeling jobs to hopefully save enough for your future together.
This would’ve been a happy ending for both parties if you actually KNEW who the father was. Youve been rethinking your entire relationship with Elias for a while and whilst its good to feel loved and appreciated just for existing, Elias’ is just… he’s too much sometimes— well most times tbh.
Elias would kill you both, but he hasn’t suspected anything yet, and you plan to keep it that way because you’re thinking of ending things with Elias by the end of the month anyway,
until you can’t.
And you find yourself puking every morning, a worried Elias by your side at every step of the way, loving, understanding (?), pulling your hair back and dabbing away sweat from your face as you stay hunched over the toilet seat, and the guilt smashes into you like a truck, its debilitating—Elias loves you so much, cares for you (too) so much. The guilt should have set in sooner, you should be groveling at his feet begging for forgiveness, but you dont, instead you stay, and the affair continues, even when you don’t remember spending the night with Lavi (where they even at the bar last night?). Even when the test shows two lines. Even when Elias starts doing more work to provide for the two of you.
Maybe it’s guilt, maybe its your consciousness telling you you need to leave, to not subject Elias to a life chained up to someone who doesnt love them enough to stay faithful.
You end up having these weird nightmares where you have to fight for your life trying to escape a hellish landscape. You survive each night but always seem to end up waking up to Lavi on your bedside (you haven’t been outside, Elias hasn’t allowed you to go to work since the pregnancy test, you don’t remember telling Lavi your address either)
But one night, when you wake up from another nightmare, crying, shivering, Elias and Lavi nowhere in sight.
Impulsively, you end up calling Elias and tell him about the affair, how you don’t know who the father of the child is, how you’re sorry and how terrible you are and how it would be better if you just break up.
and as expected, he breaks down. asking you, demanding answers, crying, screaming, shouting, asking if you actually loved him, asking if the child is actually his, asking you why he wasn’t enough, how he knew you were acting weird, asking which fucker he has to kill to make everything work out. its guttural, the way he screams, shouts for answers.
You end up dropping the call. And Elias immediately spams your phone with missed calls until you end up blocking his number.
He’s coming for you, you know he will. And he does, not even an hour later, banging on the door. You worry about your neighbours hearing about all of this commotion, its 11pm, he should’ve been at home but he was still at work, should’ve spent this time relaxing and watching tv shows with you at saturday night, but instead he was still at work, working to support the both of you (even if a big part of you knew it wouldn’t have stopped him from coming anyway)
He’s banging on the door, and you have half a mind to grab the knife at the sink. He stops after what felt like an eternity, only to forcefully barge his way in by using his body to slam the door open.
Elias makes his way inside, immediately grabbing you by the shoulders, eyes red with tears as he looks at you with the most painstakingly hurt expression you’ve ever seen (you’ve seen it countless times before, but only this time its different, it’s it scarier, it feels like he might actually hurt you)
His eyes grows into slits, as you feel another arm snake behind you.
It’s Lavi.
You are so fucked.
Elias ends up lunging at Lavi, screaming, intent to kill, to get rid of the vermin homewrecker that ruined (whatever was left of) your relationship.
Lavi fights back, albeit without mentally damaging Elias in the process as he talks about how much time he spends with you, how he planned on taking you with him secretly behind his back, how the child is actually his and how he intends to take full accountability for it.
You watch as Elias screams reaching for something in the sink only for Lavi to laugh at him, taunting him, waving the knife in his hand hautily, simpering with a glint of malice in his eyes “Looking for this?”
You’re about as useful in this situation as a screen door to a submarine. And you know its in vain, but you scream at both of them to stop anyway. Crying as you fall to your feet, you feel like puking.
Elias freezes, breath hitching as he turns to you before the expression on his face falters, angered as Lavi continues, telling him that “he’s the reason you’re having such a hard time right now”, “how he has no business being a father when all he does is hurt you”.
Everything falls into a blur as the fighting continues,
it feels like forever but it does stop, and you hear someone slump on the floor.
and you find Elias on the floor, with the knife plunged into Lavi’s stomach.
——
I had to write it out the brainrot was killing me, had to write it out until the brain rot unrotted itself.
I do know i couldve done this darker and better but i cant write anymore i feel so rustyT-T if you see “them” instead “you” its because i originally wrote this with “Mc” and using “they/them” before changing it to explicit xreader
Rereading my writing realising it is so tellenovella coded oof
Holy shit anon I don't know how you did it but this might just be the most hellish possible scenario known to mankind. I'd honestly just end it right then and there, there's no getting out of this bermuda triangle ass dynamic we got going on here.
Like Lavi and Elias being in the same universe is already horrible, them liking the same person is even worse but darling CHEATING on one of them with the other??? I would just
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fandom-susceptible · 1 day ago
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The Dragon Prince Rewatch Liveblog
Echoes of Thunder
Knowing who Aaravos is makes this intro hit different. How did Ziard discover dark magic again bro? Huh? What exactly caused that to happen? You wanna share that part of the story bro? Or how humans weren't the only ones displaced by the divide of the continent? No, because you're not here to share history, you're here to manipulate people.
Neat - so the first named characters we see in the show aren't the dragaang by a long shot. It goes Sol Regem, Ziard (not that he matters as much later), Aaravos, Avizandum, Aditi, and then Amaya.
Callum being startled by the thunder but instantly going into big brother mode to comfort Ezran when he hears Ezran yelp is such a good moment.
I rewatched the first elf scene recently to analyze Runaan's behavior here and I still love everything about it. Runaan is so fucking massive compared to the other assassins. He had to know she would hesitate. But he had to know if she would hesitate now or when it came to their targets, so he tested her - and she makes the worst mistake she could make as a Moonshadow elf, but unwittingly sets off a plot that will allow her to save even more people.
Wtf do Harrow's guards think about Viren? This dude just bursts into the king's bedroom unannounced apparently regularly enough that he has an ongoing discussion with Harrow about it.
I'm convinced Viren was planning on getting Harrow killed from the beginning. That's why he didn't want to send for Amaya.
Knowing that Runaan is her dad now makes the soft tone of the "Well done, Rayla." And her flustered response hit even harder. He tested her. She lied. He thinks she passed. She knows she's lying to him. She's not just lying to her boss, she's lying to the one person in the world whose opinion matters to her more than anyone else (except perhaps Ethari).
The jelly tart theft scene makes me so happy because it's so clear they've done this before, especially when Barius lets them do it later.
I love how Soren actually does try to make Callum look good in front of Claudia. I love how being a big brother is so firmly part of his personality that he goes into that mode even with Callum even during his "bully" phase.
Harrow tries so hard to make this a happy thing for the boys, and Callum tries just as hard to support that worldview for Ezran, and my heart hurts over it.
"What are they, minstrels or something?" And Rayla says Soren doesn't understand sarcasm. He's SO sarcastic with his dad, I love it.
They build up the Moonshadow elves as being "unstoppable" under the full moon, and work so hard on these magical solutions, but I can't help but notice/remember that Soren did in fact manage to stop them. Like that is in fact a thing that happened. Even sparing barely any time to actually prepare for defending, it wouldn't have mattered that Ezran and Callum left the castle that night, because none of the assassins actually made it past Harrow's room. They only got one target and that's with the Crownguard having virtually no time to brace for the attack. Viren's been undermining the military defenses since the very beginning.
Soren may have been a dick about forcing Callum to stay behind but he was in fact correct to do so, Callum doesn't have the training to be going into all out battle at this point. He's safer staying behind.
The contrast between Callum's "Your Majesty" but also so easily calling Harrow "my father" to Soren, and everyone in the room knowing Runaan is her father but Rayla using his name
This fandom really takes you through a series of opinions about the oath the assassins take, doesn't it? First watch as a kid I was like, yeah, ok, this makes sense to me. Second as a teenager I was like, oooh, very flawed vengeful system, anyone who survived this would need a redemption arc. Now, as an adult, having the full context of a couple graphic novels up to Season 7 . . . yeah, it's a flawed system. But it's a flawed system based on over a thousand years of marginalization. These elves didn't make this call; Zubeia called on them, and what were they going to do, say no? Last time they started a fight with the rest of Xadia they lost miserably. They do not have the numbers to justify arguing with the Queen of Dragons. They're doing the best they can with a culture older than any of them can remember and the information they have about current events. We should criticize their culture, sure, but the individuals are less to blame than we might think at first.
Soren's been leading the Crownguard since he was 16 and you can really tell from how his older subordinates just sigh at his stupid jokes
I forgot about Runaan poisoning his arrows. Dude is thorough. Also, the lore of how arcanum magic works is fascinating; Runaan's said to be one of the best with moon magic, but still uses the moon opal necklace Ethari gave him to cast the spell to hide them.
Also, "I saw the fear in his eyes!" "Of course he was afraid! But you had a job to do!" is such a loaded exchange. Runaan isn't trying to argue with her reasons. He doesn't contradict her. He just says that she should have done it anyway, because now her own people are in danger instead. It's also interesting because she reacts that strongly to fear of death; which makes so much sense with the Moonshadow cultural view of death as being nothing to be afraid of, because it's just the next phase of existence. Of course she thought she could do it; she didn't expect her targets to be afraid, because she doesn't know anyone who would be.
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zhemariart · 1 year ago
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aight aight aight
been obsessed with Baldur's Gate 3 for the past couple months, time to churn out some of all the art I day dream about. Starting with one of my Tavs, Xarmir <:
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thelien-art · 1 year ago
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✨Him✨
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What is he thinking about? You tell me
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faaun · 11 months ago
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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koko2unite · 7 months ago
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so many expenses this month and most of it isnt even for me :(
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kateis-cakeis · 1 year ago
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rewatching bbc merlin really has me like buzzing in my mind with so many thoughts. Like I'm kinda watching it backwards atm going from S5 to S4, I think I will jump around 3, 2, and 1 but just,,,, there is so much especially in S5 that makes me !!!!!!!
Honestly, I feel like this fandom has to give the writers more credit. Like they did a damn good job, and to me, it's such a good tragedy. Especially how S5 plays out, it takes everything and just tears you down, and down, and down. It's perfect, perfect with flaws! But still perfect
#bbc merlin#merlin#yeah idk on that note about the writers - this fandom is way too harsh#like i know we all have ideas on how it should have gone#but i think we lose how it's still a story that they planned from the start to end like that#they did their job they set up from the beginning and it is good as a tragedy imo as someone who has studied tragedies#hot take but the characterisations are consistent - i mean like as consistent as they get for a 5 series show#they did better than most and i dont feel like any characters get like their previous characterisation assassinated#that includes Arthur and Morgana btw they clearly have arcs that work well and where Arthur's is a slower progression - Morgana's is like a#lit match - slow at first but when it gets going it's going and then gone - it's wonderful#i mean look at s5 it literally starts by talking about Arthur's bane aka his fatal flaw aka his hamartia#which is himself and i dont think it's as much as the overdone hubris but rather Arthur's love and trust for others - but that like in many#tragedies can be debated#okay something else that can be debated is the peripeteia - i think a good example of it is the Disir episode because that's when Arthur's#fate becomes sealed anything after that point is fruitless because the Triple Goddess has decided he must die because of his rejection of#the Old Religion - it's a reversal of fortune in a sense that Mordred is alive to play his part in Arthur's death - as Merlin puts it. You#could see it more as Merlin's peripeteia rather than Arthur's but still#if we wanna debate it more Arthur's peripeteia would probablyyyy be when Mordred stabs him because that's when his death becomes imminent#it's a reversal of fortune because he's dying from that point forward rather than a strong king he is a man dying#the anagnorisis is another point to make. You could say for Arthur his anagnorisis is all of the finale - like this constant realisation of#Merlin and his magic and realising all that he missed all that he didnt see and now it's too late because he's dying#I'd say Merlin's anagnorisis comes with the whole Mordred and Kara ordeal and how he realises his mistake and how it's gonna cause the#downfall of not just himself but Arthur too#then catharsis - see i think it's the only part where the tragedy falters because do we get catharsis from Arthur's death and Merlin's#immortality - where he's still at the lake centuries later?#i think in some ways yes and in other ways no because I don't think BBC Merlin is following an Aristotle's tragedy#i think catharsis comes more from Morgana's half of the tragedy - seeing her die - and i think further catharsis comes from knowing it's no#over forever that there will be a second chance for redemption for both Merlin and Arthur#but it is a more difficult one for sure#anyway point is that S5 specifically has a tragedy storyline that is very well done and we should credit that more tbh
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insanechayne · 4 months ago
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#my dad is starting shit with me again and just continuing fights and bringing up shit that has nothing to do with anything#and even when I try to calm the situation he just gets worse and keeps berating me#I want to get out of the house but my partner hasn’t talked to me all day or even checked our message chat#so I don’t want to bother them or just show up without them saying it’s ok#not that they’d have much problem with it probably but if they don’t acknowledge it I don’t want to startle them or something#and idk what if they are mad at me and that’s why they haven’t talked to me today? or if they’re having a bad day too?#they’re not gonna want to deal with my bullshit if they’re not having a good day either#so that’s another problem to contend with#and I’m also really tired and fatigued already because of some recent health issues and just packing my go bag is wearing me out a bit#I don’t really want to pack up the whole car and drive an hour to their house after midnight when I’m already not doing great#so I know I should just stay in my room and get some distance or do my own thing until I fall asleep#but God I just don’t want to be here anymore#tbh I do kinda wanna be dead and I wish I could do something about that#idk if I’m fully suicidal or anything but it’s like… I want to make my dad see how much he needs me and I want to get a fucking break#I want someone to take care of me and worry about me for once instead of giving up everything to him#I wish I killed my self at 16 like I wanted to so I wouldn’t have ever had to deal with any of this bullshit#I sort of wish I could kill myself now just to be done with all of this#but suicide takes too much planning and hassle these days so what’s the point anyway#I guess I’m just depressed and lonely and all that#I’m sure I’ll be fine in the morning#but right now I just really wish I had someone to talk to and cry on and tell me it’ll all get better soon#personal
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that-was-anticlimactic · 1 year ago
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i feel like it’s cheating to say kenji for the ask game cause everyone will (unless they Didnt. then please do). but also yosano for the ask game!!
yosano
first impression: yooo erica lindbeck! okay, okay! i know i'll love her and also omg her design is GORGEOUS what the heck also oh god poor ginger snow guy yikes but have fun ig???
impression now: HIIIIII BESTIE OMG um okay so let's kill m*ri together, kay? and then um you should wear a suit bc i think you'd look SO GOOD IN A SUIT!!! also ily btw you are super cool and omgi wanna see your character get explored with guilt bc is hurting people to heal them traumatic at all for you??? i just. oiuyftdrtfgyuhioiuygtfyghuijo i miss youuuuuuuuu
favorite moment: oh gosh... well, i love the moment when yosano greeted atsushi and was like "wanna come shopping with me" and everyone Zoomed out of the room lol but like also... the moment in s4 after the agency got framed and so she, kunikida, kenji, kyouka, and jun killed themselves but they weren't exactly dead yet and then she revived them all like healed them all that scene is just. SO GOOD??? HELLO??? MISS MA'AM ILYSM??? it was just SO DOPE and also SO PRETTY???
idea for a story: hmm i don't have too many yosano fic ideas, but i would like to maybe write a yosano & ranpo found sibling fic sometime or like... a yosano & jun'ichirou fic like idk what it would be about, but i think the two of them interacting would be very interesting. ooooh or a chaotic yosano & kajii friendship fic where they torment everyone with their "friendship" bc they SWEAR they aren't friends!!!
unpopular opinion: i really hate the yosano x k.oyou ship. so much. i cannot STAND it. i would rather yosano never date or be in a relationship with anyone than have her and k.oyou be a thing. also yosano isn't sadistic
favorite relationship: (non-romantic) this is hard bc i instinctively want to say yosano & kajii just bc i think they should become friends after the train incident bc i think they would be the most CHAOTIC friends fr imagine the science-y things they could do together... two people who wouldn't get hurt by kajii's explosions... ough... but also like. yosano & ranpo bc. DUH!!! i mean... ranpo changed her life fr and they are SIBLINGS okay wait here's another unpopular opinion for y'all: the ranpo & yosano are siblings tag should have OS MANY MORE FICS IN IT than the dazai & yosano are siblings tag. i mean. hello??? ranpo is RIGHT THERE???
favorite headcanon: yosano is a trans lesbian and she and ranpo are literally siblings and she gets chronic migraines which sucks bc she can't heal those and also she once lost her watch in jun'ichirou and yes that is a reference to a fic i read once but it made me giggle so hard that it's canon to me now~ oh and also she had a one night stand with agatha christie <333
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trevanent · 1 year ago
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I think one thing I will say about the finale was that the most problematic aspect of the concept of the show was how it feels like they had to use the Fionna and Cake plot to Trojan horse a resolution to a swathe of loose ends Simon and Betty's arcs had. They pulled it off even better than I ever wanted to let myself hope for for the most part but I would say my main issue if anything was how cramped the finale felt when I think they could have left a lot more up to season 2 speculations (especially with the resolutions for the alt universes, they didn't really feel necessary when they basically just had to egg Scarab).
I feel I liked the understated melancholies of seeing Simon recontextualized and kinda infantilized in that temporary form hosting his mind, and some people have said the Casper and Nova thing felt hamfisted but I thought the vibes were too cute to care that it wasn't particularly "efficient" as far as metaphors go, but that does slow down the pace which probably crunched the ending a little harder :'). But it also worked in further showing the sad side-effect of the crown on Simon's relationships, including that of stunting his ability to have ever matured in his understandings of love and his relationship with Betty. I also think their last scene in the memory worked because it was Simon reconsidering how he viewed their relationship for the first time, even if his attempt to do for Betty what she did for him would have just been an inversion of their original flaw, the scene rests on them understanding it's unchangeable anyway, so that decision doesn't matter so much and it's not something for Simon to dwell on.
I also feel I liked the scene a lot in spite of how scarce it felt in the finale was because of what was most conspicuously unaddressed, which was just the sheer logistical impossibility of any different choices they made having possibly been any "better." It sticks out because Betty says they could have made better choices, which kinda seems to situate their relationship in a vacuum as if there wasn't a very high likelihood had they done anything different at that crossroads, they would have just been literally nuked into orbit regardless. Sure, it seems like enough time had passed for them to have worked out their relationship better at least and then died, but that kinda seems better by an arbitrarily less tragic amount, and really it seems the least tragic possibilities ever were either that they conceive their relationship more healthily, Simon finds the crown and protects Betty from exploding somehow and also doesn't warp her to the future, and they live some terrible survival life but at least they get a chance to live something kinda fulfilling and Betty probably would have taken care of Ice King decently for the remainder of her life once Simon was gone while also having a better understanding of what had happened to him. The only other hand would be that she also was still warped to the future he finds the crown but Simon had not enabled her self-sacrificial tendencies and so she becomes less undividedly obsessed with saving him and instead integrates into Ooo more properly and also accepts what had become of him (I find it hard to think she would have just let him die either way though lmao).
That all said, they had been around a long time to have reflected over everything. I think it is a bit of an issue that they don't really allude to that, but I find it easy to believe that they did recognize how thwarted a happy ending would ever be for them by all angles of their reality, yet they still had that tender ache of that simple and small tragedy just between them two that still exists within the torrent of catastrophe that engulfed them and the breadth of their fate. So much horror in their lives but they reconnect and find themselves primarily concerned with that last regret of not having been able to make the ideal relationship they quite thought they had.
#fionna and cake spoilers#Besides that I would say my other kinda issue with the best part of the finale was that you also don't get to see much more#of how Simon enables Betty besides the elaboration on what Betty alludes to in Temple of Mars#Like they only show the red flags at the start of their relationship but I feel they could have taken some time out of the Scarab fight#to have pretty much just one more scene of his lack of awareness in their relationship after they got together#Because we literally only see him make a misstep right at the inception and that Casper and Nova imply this was a continuous pattern#But Simon has literally no autonomy over himself or Betty for like 95% of the original Adventure Time#and tries to stop her from saving him the first time she shows up#Granted I suppose he saw it as being for his own good should he die and leave Betty alone in some alien world#But that whole situation was profoundly different and difficult to have controlled#save for Simon having not opened that portal at all but the considerations and assumptions of how that might have affected her#a thousand years ago... seems difficult to forsee mid-rigor mortis#So it just sorta feels like Casper and Nova kinda was just pointing to something we didn't actually get to see that much of#And though Simon failing to consider that it wasn't great Betty threw out her plans to do Simon's thing like it was nothing#and then overlooking that more directly and with initiative a second time even with Babette yelling at him was a strong enough prelude#for you to “get the idea” but like. Damn! I wanna see a little of the idea maybe
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rearranging-deck-chairs · 7 months ago
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bad wolf soda <3
#level of obsession reached where i zoom in on screenshots to see what shes reading#p sure that says kierkegaard in white but thats as far as im getting#'first existentialist philosopher'#okay i really gotta find out what the fuck existentialism really means now bc carmilla seems to like it#'related to the meaning purpose and value of human existence.#Common concepts in existentialist thought include existential crisis dread#and anxiety in the face of an absurd world and free will as well as authenticity courage and virtue.'#SCREAM OKAY I SEE I SEE#kierkegaard beauvoir sartre nietzsche camus yep p sure those all get mentioned#okay this is fun#kierkegaard was like an existentialist before the word and hes from the first half of the 19th century#dont know if you can call vampires contemporaries of people bc....immortal. but carmilla was a contemporary of him#technically#and then when existentialism gets named halfway the 20th century carmilla has just escaped her blood coffin punishment#and so shes alone for a little bit without direction. perhaps free or perhaps waiting for mother to show up again#it's fun that existentialism seems sort of to be abt there being a choice abt who you want to be#that youre not defined by an essence. that What You Are is not defined pre what you do#so you can shape yourself#it's interesting the tension between that belief and the position carmilla is in. no wonder theres self-loathing#but also! she starts resisting the What She Is that is imposed on her. after 1945. starts sabotaging plans#i gotta go download some books#'ive got a talk i wanna catch on goethe' hang on im googling#1749-1832 she lived through that too#oh right faust and young werther i know of those#'Goethe admitted that he 'shot his hero to save himself' a reference to Goethe's near-suicidal obsession for a young woman a passion he que#relatable#god theres so much to read in the world and i have not read any of it#carmillaposting#i wonder what she'd write her dissertation about
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windupaidoneus · 1 year ago
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ok ive finished the dlc so now i can properly say my least favourite thing about dragon age awakening is that the women feel like an afterthought & don't fit in the group at all. & i want to care about them & their banter so much. but i really don't because the game is giving me fucking nothing
#dragonageposting#IM SO FUCKING UPSET ABOUT THIS. i was thinking abt it so hard last night.#(crying) please join my polycule why wont you fit in my polycule videogame why didnt you let the women fit in my polycule#it doesnt help that anders & oghren's banter w them is insufferable. especially oghren#sigrun is SUCH a sweetheart & i adore her i really do but her & velanna are just so... lacking compared to everyone else#& it's by design! & i fucking hate that it is!#did i fuck up something? did i miss quests that would've made them better? even then i don't know if it would fix the issue#with oghren you already know him beforehand hes got a whole plotline & everything in origins so its like. it fits within the plot#anders shows up at the centre of the main plotline. at the start too. he integrates himself as part of the group very easily bc of that#nathaniel also has very good reason to be there! you killed his father! he hates your guts but hes not a bad person! he has depth!#he is given the opportunity to fit in a group whose leader he comes in loathing#justice would be part of the 'you're making it hard for me to care abt this character' group if i didnt know abt him showing up in da2 prob#but even then his quest just. felt longer. he was given more to do than both velanna & sigrun#not only that but hes a spirit possessing a corpse which makes his deal very unique#i was elated to meet sigrun bc i love the legion of the dead but they just. didn't give her much.#& the whole thing w velanna wrt seranni is like;.. barely touched on. i was so disappointed the quest was so short#the women are just given nothing compared to the men & i fucking hate it i wanna care about them so bad. i want to care. so bad.#they didnt even allow me to have either of them do their joining like??? what?? it mightve been a glitched thing or w/e but??#i was just forced into the climax of the game without either of them doing their joining. and it fucking sucked#idk the later parts of awakening feel rushed. like they didnt plan to actually wrap it up & had to do it hastily.#the beginning was so interesting & i was genuinely having such a good time but by the end of it i was just tired#we barely got anything on the architect i was also hyped for him but then it was kind of nothing.
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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year ago
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not rascal's deadbeat owner coming around when im not home and telling my roommate she's taking him for a week (our break is 4 weeks or so, implying he's gonna be back here even though That's Her Cat Not Ours) and then just picking up the new toys i bought for him and taking them with her without even asking. hey. hi. those are mine
#like yes i want rascal to use them so he can be happy and fulfilled but also i dont fucking trust you#she didnt even ask. i wasnt even AROUND and she just yoinked them#she also took the new litter box my roomie got for him bc the old one was so caked in shit that 20 mins in a powerful sink didnt even#change it. like bedrock-hard cat shit. who fucking knows how old that was bc they never clean or empty it. fucks sake#and obv he needs a litter box and my roomie threw the old one away bc again it was Unsalvageably And Hazardously Filthy#like we could get sick he could get sick. get a grip#but like i dont wanna be feeding her replacements for her stuff she doesn't take care of over and over#just burning money trying to make rascal's life a Little better bc again our control over his situation is limited bc hes literally her cat#it's so frustrating. like i waited a full month to get him new toys bc i didn't know how long this situation was gonna last and i dont have#cats and cant have them for a while (not that this is stopping me oops) so it's not like the toys'll be used w me#like if she decided to up and drop him at a shelter like she'd planned less than a couple months ago I'd be sittjng in a pile of cat stuff#but he needs more stuff yknow. theyre not providing for him and i have the means to atm. and just when i bite the bullet and surprise him#with a bunch of new things he was SO excited about she swoops in without warning and takes him#god. my roommate told me he just froze up when his owner came in..and he looked so pissed about it#having to go back and leave us and leave all his fun new stuff to go back to the room where they cant even bother to feed him regularly#much less play with him or take care of him#it's heartbreaking. it's such a delicate situation im trying to move carefully so we don't lose him completely but it's so frustrating going#slow. ughhghhgh AND THEYRE ALWAYS LIKE man he's so much nicer to y'all. MAYBE IT'S BC WE TREAT HIM WELL. CRAZY THOUGHT I KNOW#fucking. i love that little man this sucks for him so bad. trying to get him back for a couple days while im here but no response yet#and my roommate's staying on campus over break so she's gonna show up as soon as that week's over like I'm Here For Rascal. Your Time Is Up.#rauguhhhhh sorry if these rascal vent posts are a downer guys. it's just. god dude. fucking hell#i know this is a stupid situation i have gotten myself into i know it's stupid to try and finagle someone's pet from them BUT SHES ABUSIVE#AND SUPER LIKE. INDIFFERENT?? AND APATHETIC ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THE PPL SHE DUMPS HIM ON CARE FOR HIM WELL OR NOT. AGH#sighhhh. whatever. gotta focus on tmr's exam and then i can complain about rascal some more.#i get she prolly thinks it's a team effort but the only reason we take her stuff is bc we didn't have a cat and werent planning on it#ggggghhzgzzjzjkkzkzkkzkk. grinding my teeth
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