#༚ි༉༷ wildfluer —

[wildfluer]

⚘( ၴႅၴ DISTANCE ( jj maybank )

— summary after weeks of being distant, jj shows up at your door late at night. something’s wrong, but he won’t let you in.

— content warnings angst, mentions of abuse/implied abuse ( jj )

— a/n first post on here!! i felt like writing gut wrenching angst but i’m not sure if i like it

it started with distance. the missed calls, the unread texts. the way jj avoided your gaze, eyes darting away quickly. at first, you ignored it. it was normal for him to act distant sometimes. it was just his natural response to everything. he was always dealing with shit, and that was how he coped. you respected that—but this time, it felt different.

even as you were trying to ignore it, you couldn’t. the bruises on his knuckles never seem to fade. pope tells you he’s been picking fights at the wreck, at parties, anywhere someone is dumb enough to take the bait. kie says he’s been drinking too much, disappearing for hours, coming back and barely being able to stand. her voice is full of worry as she tells you, “he won’t even talk to any of us”.

he won’t talk to you either. you wait, hoping he’ll come to you for help. but jj maybank doesn’t ask for help. he never does—he spirals. and right now, he’s spiraling hard.

. . .

it’s past midnight when you hear a hesitant knock on your door. you almost didn’t catch it over the sound of the rain hammering against your window. when you open the door, jj is standing there, soaked head to toe from the rain. his hoodie clings to his body, hair dripping into his eyes.

when he looks up at you, you feel your heart throb. he looks miserable. “i had nowhere else to go,” he mumbles. his voice is raw, like he’s been screaming or crying—probably both. you quickly urge him to come inside. he doesn’t meet your eyes as he steps in, dripping water onto the floor. you grab a towel and hand it to him, but he just stares at it like it’s some foreign object. “jj,” you murmur, your voice quiet as if you don’t wanna scare him off.

he blinks, finally taking the towel but barely using it. instead, he runs a hand through his soaking wet hair, exhaling shakily. “i can’t—i don’t wanna talk, okay?” he rubs his eyes, sighing. “i already know you’re gonna offer to help me or some bullshit, but i don’t need help, alright? i just needed somewhere to go.” he’s rambling, and as you go to place a hand on his shoulder, you see him flinch. you quickly retract your hand. it’s a subtle movement, but you saw it. and it made your stomach drop, because it confirmed your suspicions.

“jj,” you start, voice soft and careful. “what happened?”

he exhales sharply, shaking his head. “that dosen’t matter.”

“it does,” you say.

he lets out a bitter laugh, running a hand down his face. “no, it really doesn’t.” you want to argue and tell him that it does matter—but you know jj. you know that pushing too hard will only make him pull away faster. you don’t know what to do. “hey, it’s okay. you don’t have to tell me what happened. but you also don’t have to act like whatever you’re going through doesn’t hurt either.”

his jaw clenches, eyes flickering to the floor. “i don’t feel anything.”

you frown at his words, “i don’t believe that.” jj scoffs in response, but there’s no real fight in it. just exhaustion. you watch his shoulders tense, his hands balling into fists at his sides. he’s struggling, and you can see it. you watch as his eyes dart toward the door like he’s already planning his escape.

but then, something cracks. he speaks, his voice wavering this time. “i’m so fuckin’ tired of this shit,” he exhales, “i’m so tired.” he sounds so defeated that it breaks you.

“let me help you,” you whisper. “please, jj.” he looks at you, and for a moment, you think he might let you in. but the moment is brief, and poofs into thin air in a second. you speak up again, this time begging him to not leave. but he doesn’t budge. instead he turns toward the door, his fingers hovering over the knob. for a second you thought he might change his mind. he doesn’t. with an exhale he mutters, “thanks for letting me stay for a bit.”

and just like that, he’s gone.

[wildfluer]

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