#have i ever made any dude uncomfortable because they thought i was hitting on them??

[minimoll7]

There was this twitter post I saw the other day explaining how women show they're interested in men and GOSH

It freaked me out and it still kind of does because everything that was listed are things that I do. But like, its how I talk and interact with people in general. The things that were listed was like:

-teasing you in a way that implies familiarity -subtly implying future plans (oh, you’ve never been to X coffee shop?) -making it clear they’re single conversationally -acting awkward (involuntary) -finding random things to keep asking

(copied right from the post lol) like bruh. I do literally all of that. I mean I guess with the being single part, I do that to provide context if needed, so I'm not like trying to make it super clear I'm single and looking for romance or whatever

But man. I wonder if its because I'm autistic? Also I have social anxiety, I'm always acting awkward. And in this awkwardness and social anxiety, I am desperately trying to keep convos going so I ask random stuff or tease people to make things more comfortable. I mean some people are a lot easier to talk to, so these things don't happen as much (like being anxious or desperately trying to keep the convo going), but that is generally the experience for me

Definitely has made me self conscious to. Like I don't want anyone to think I'm hitting on them because of this x(

[mizzcap]

you're not him

@b-l-a-n-k-d-r-e-a-m inspired this batch of HCs! Send your love to them! (I hope the tag worked!)

TW- Meltdown, Panic attack, Bullying, Mention of SA and Murder, mention of Jimmy (character), fighting

Actor! Jimmy x Reader

ACTOR AU: Jimmy is feeling distant and closed off- curly has even taken notice and brought it to your attention. Maybe this role was too much for a first role?

Continuation of Jimmy's last part

And yes, Curly's partner is a ACTOR AU! version of Y/N from the part 1 scenarios! They're referred to as (P/N)(partners name)

-Jimmy was excited to start the project. Him, Anya, and daisuke hit it off right away

-it made Curly so happy to see Jimmy coming out of his shell and becoming more and more comfortable around his co-actors.

-it made you happy to know that you finally could get your thesis done.

-you started noticing a few older guys in your film class hanging around to talk to Jimmy, though you chalked it up to Jimmy making more friends

-you knew the guys as dudes who kept hitting on Anya, though she couldn't care seeing as they didn't take it too far and well. Anya doesn't like men.

-one day, Jimmy just didn't show up to film a shot

-you had seen him in class that day, and around campus, so you knew it wasn't sick

-now that you thought back on it, Jimmy had become slowly reserved all over again- hesitant about any form of touch.

-so you went looking for him

"Sexually aroused by horses? Oh- so your a freak freak."

You paused up on hearing the familiar voice of your classmate, and the familiar line that Anya improvised one day during filming (truthfully it was funny enough to not only make the cut but encourage a retake because curly wouldn't stop laughing. His partner had to bring him water because he wouldn't stop wheezing)

You found the corner in time to see Jimmy practically curling into himself. Now, Jimmy wasn't small. He was in weightlifting with Curly since the 10th grade- (you learned that while texting Jimmy late one night talking to him before the first shoot)

With that being said

Jimmy hated confrontation. He wasn't a big fan of physical altercations- and only ever went as far as wrestling in the grass with Curly. (Which resulted in (P/N) scolding them for staining their dry clean only varsity jacket)

"What's going on?" You quickly butted in. Pushing past the two over grown men to stand next to Jimmy. Your side pressed briefly to Jimmy's though he was quick to lean away. He was tense, and looked a bit pale. What's wrong with him

"Just talking to Jizzy here-"

"Jimmy." you spat his name, correcting the rude ass boy almost immediately with a glare.

"-right.. we're just having a chat is all. 'bout horses and shit" the other guy laughed at his friend's comment. But the way it made Jimmy's fist ball up as a distraction from the uncomfortable situation, the rage boiled deep in your skin

"if that's all.." you pushed through grit teeth. "We'll be taking our leave now" you sneered and tried pushing past

The two boys whistled as you and Jimmy went past them "Go one now Jimmy boy- Master's callin'!" One whooped after he said that, the noise ringing annoyingly in your ears

You turned so quick the world felt dazed for a moment as you got up in the guy's face. His hot stank breath making you more pissed than before "you got a fuckin' issue, bud? Cuz we'll fix it." You snapped

"I don't, but maybe put horse fucker on a leash. Or not- maybe he'll diddle you next-" the man laughed in your face

The insult made your blood bubble and burst. In your peripherals, you could see Jimmy tense up at his words almost uncomfortably.

"fuck off man!" You snapped, shoving him back without properly thinking first.

You watched his red shoes stumbled back a few steps before sliding forward. Barely having time to process it as a stinging feeling ripped through the side of your face.

You whipped your head up at the man to strike back, only to be met with the back of Jimmy's head and his arm. Stumbling back a few steps as you watched wide eyed

The normally reserved and peaceful man- the one you would watch wrestle in the grass with Curly after shoots. The one who ever showed a hint of anger (though it was more confusion) when he and Anya could understand why Daisuke was winning (you're positive he was eating the game pieces), The man who you would eat being reassured by curly after every shorty that he was not his character..

You watched the same man's fist sink into the center of your classmate's face- a loud crunch sounding as his nose was crushed between his face and Jimmy's fists.

+-+-+-+

"it's not that bad" you sighed, sitting on your coffee table and holding a small mirror as Jimmy looked at his reflection.

a bit of blood seeped into and crusted on his scruff that he grew out for the sake of you movie. His bottom lip was puffy and split open on one side. An ugly bruise on his cheek spread to his eye that had nearly shut. While his nose has started bleeding- it was still bruised and banged up. On top of that his knuckles were raw and red from the fight.

Truth be told, you weren't in the best shape either. Your nose has started bleeding from that initial punch from the guy. And your sides ached from where you got hit.

The guys tried ganging up on Jimmy, and you tried jumping in to help.

"on a good note... I think I kicked them hard enough so one won't have kids" you chuckled, but Jimmy didn't reciprocate your enjoyment of the joke.

You paused for a moment, then silence almost suffocating

You grabbed the Gauze and Neosporin as scooted towards the edge of the table, your knees barely brushing against his

"here- I can-" "please don't"

You watched in shock as he tore his hands away from your own, grimacing at the touch

"Jimmy wha-...?" You furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head in confusion "what's going on"

When he didn't respond you pushed more

"Jimmy, you've just been acting weird- I tried talking to curly but he doesn't know either- is it the role? Jim, if it's too much you don't have to continue-" he yanked his hand away when you grazed your fingers over it accidentally.

You blinked in surprise

"What if they're right?" Jimmy choked out, head in the heels of his palms as his fingers curled into his dark brown locks. "What if I'm just like him- and that why I play him so well?"

"What?- oh.. Jimmy-"

"what if I end up like him- end up hurting everyone- hurting Curly-- he's like my brother man- I can't hurt curly" he choked on a sob.

"Jimmy.. I-" you sighed and ran your hand over your head as you tried to think of proper wording "This-.. you're feeling upset about playing a fucking horrendous character. That's completely normal- Seasoned actors have a hard time playing a role like this- You're a first time actor, for you to be thrusted into acting- having to play- y'Know.. it's normal to be upset or unnerved, but you have to talk to us, you can't just suffer in silence"

Jimmy shook his head, lifting it to meet your eyes with his dark, bloodshot ones. "But Those guys-"

"Drew and Max are pissy because you get to work so closely with anya- meanwhile they're barely allowed in the same proximity as her" you crossed your arms

"but-"

"are you sexually attracted to horses?"

"..what?"

"are you?"

"no-"

"have you ever...?"

"God no! I'd cut off my nuts before I'd ever-"

"ew dude! TMI" you giggled, grinning as he slowly sported a small smile

"and as far as I'm concerned you haven't off'd anyone or been a 'Manipulative Conniving Dictator', so you're fine" you heard him snort at the dictator part

"I just-"

"Jimmy- look at me" you slowly took his hands in yours- your eyes searching his for a moment as you drew circles on the back of his hand using your thumb "You're not him"

+-+-+-+

BONUS:

"Found you n Jimmy on the couch this morning" Anya hummed as she ate a granola bar, helping you build a medical bed by simply holding the screws

"We watched a movie last night and fell asleep- talked for a bit before hand but nothing happened" you muttered, hunched over a rod as you screwed it to the bed frame

"talked? Like when I hear you giggling at 2 am on the phone with him?" Anya has a lazy, teasing grin as she stared down at you, her tongue sticking out from between her teeth as she quietly giggled

Your ears felt extremely hot, and your heart felt like it stop

"shut up!"

You playfully picked up a piece of foam and threw it at Anya's legs

+-+-+-+

YAYAYYAYAYAYYA! up next will be part 2 of Anya x Circe reader, then imma do part 2 of curly, then part 2 of Daisuke!

[eddywoww]

I live in a more conservative area in the US. My family isn't, but whatever. Being LGBT was looked down upon in this area, my parents made sure to tell me it was ok and people were close minded (hell they even left the church they went to and started their own). They were great parents.

That being said the surrounding area was not. Got bullied in school for being gay, even though I simply was just focused on academics. I wanted an A more than I wanted the D am I right? Hm. It frustrated me because no one even asked and I was straight. This went on from when I was 10 to 17, when I finally graduated and got out of that area. The bullying was intense, from something as simple as name calling to having group projects turned in without my name but slurs on it to getting physically pushed around and shoved.

I went to college and met some cool people. Went to a pride parade as an ally. Started learning about different labels. Proclaimed to be demisexual with a desire for men because I still didn't really have any sexual desire and again, focused on school.

When I was 21 I moved to an entire new area for my job. Met a girl in her 30s who has a kid (12 or 13 at the time I dont remember) who came out as nonbinary and pan. Good for them! The woman was an "ally" except-

Tried forcing me to come out. Many times. Put me in secret uncomfortable situations. Some highlights of things she did were: take me to a gay bar without telling me thats where we were and then paying someone to kiss me and then kept asking if I realized I was gay because I didn't push the person away (I was shocked), after I claimed I was demisexual claimed that I had repressed my sexuality because society inherently tells you to be straight and that I was truly a lesbian, would claim I was a virgin if I never slept with a man because a woman couldn't take that so if i had "religious trauma" and wouldn't sleep with anyone based on keeping virginity i could with a woman and be fine (which I dont have any, my parents formed that church and were all inclusive and its a safe space hell they even organized pride events before the town did), and the worst of all got me drunker then I've ever been to the point I could barely stand and left me with a guy who had a crush on me who kept coming onto me. She talked to him and I saw her wink at him and she left me with this dude who got too handsy if you know what I mean. Nothing under the clothes happened thank God, and really it was my own fault for drinking so much at her place *she had many people over, I actually drank less then other people but still*. I asked why she left me with him and she said she was tired, then later said she wasn't surprised he tried anything and then said "well you're definitely gonna be gay now and not want to be with a man".

I left that area behind as my career progressed and it hit me, damn she was kinda fucked up. Kissed a few people and realized hold on I do have a sexual drive hello, and I dont have to get to know people first to have it?? Not demi then. Cool! Realised that the woman kinda fucked me up. I'm doing therapy which...is ok. But I got on Tumblr and have been on

And I've met some cool people. I've realized huh I guess a straight person doesn't think about boobs and vaginas while they get off. The dicks made sense, but the rest? And it hit me Holy shit im bi?? I think??

In my mind, being LGBT was okay but ME oh no suddenly it was the worst thing in the world. And im realizing its okay for me. Idk why I thought it wasn't except for the intense bullying. One thing that made me realize was everyone on tumblr. Like I said I met some cool people. I havent sent everyone a message because I want to be anonymous still. But you're one of the people who have helped me realize its ok. It is okay for me! So thank you for that. One of your fics really helped when I was first struggling with the realization and...thank you. It may not seem like a big thing to you, but its changed my life.

Thank you so much for sending me this. Like actually truly.

First of all, I’m so sorry for the situation with your ex friend. I can’t stand when people need to push and push to get the reaction THEY want, it sickens me deeply. Im sorry you went through that and I’m so happy you’re in therapy and that you’ve discovered yourself now.

It actually IS big to me when I hear about bisexual people accepting themselves. I don’t talk about it here much but I too grew up in a conservative area. I dropped out of school for bullying, etc but had the opposite story of knowing I was bisexual very young and not knowing how to word it? I just knew it was “bad” and I went to church a lot and I needed to repent for it. So I get that part in a warped way.

I think it gets to me for a very personal reason. There’s this inherent shake when you’ve been made to feel bad about your sexuality that resurfaces at random. I had an ex boyfriend who was obsessed with my sexuality in the opposite way. He was abusive and thought I was cheating constantly with my best friend, would call me a d*ke and a f*g constantly (almost always before some sort of physical abuse) and I was just deeply ashamed of my self, to the point of being biphobic at points.

What I’m getting at here is I came out after we broke up and I expected it to be this dawn of time shit because my family is accepting too! And I remember my mom getting upset and going, “Are you sure this isn’t about your breakup? Are you okay?” And I kind of just wanted to fucking scream. Or the way family members treat it like I’m divulging some sort of sexual secret. My sister coming out as bi years later really helped me. Dating someone who both did not care and didn’t want to sexualize me made it better.

In between all that, I ended up dating a girl who I could tell from the get go doesn’t see me (still now as friends) as “gay enough”. None of my struggle or my problems are the same, none of my fears are warranted, etc. that’s fine. I don’t need suffering to know who I am. What I’m trying to get at is even after years there are still tiny things that eat away at me but I’ve learned coping skills and developed friendships that make me feel so much better. And hearing stories from other people helps so much too. So thank you for telling me yours, it means a lot to me. I know you weren’t asking for a wordy response but I just woke up and I’m a sensitive bitch 😂

I’m sorry for the things you’ve gone through and I wish the world had been kinder to a young you. I’m glad you’re better now and if you ever need to message someone (if you ever choose to not be anon) I’m around ☺️💕

[gaylittlewizardcat]

So!!! I watched the UK international tour!!! In Sweden, on two different performances, and I have many thoughts about it. So here is a big post in which I’ve tried to make my brain’s incoherent screaming somewhat understandable <3 the problem is I forgot I was making this post and it is now months later ._.

This is less of an analysis and more just me cramming together everything I remember from the show into one monster of a post lol

The overture was incredible! It was so loud my entire chest was vibrating, and I know that sometimes makes people uncomfortable but I love it. I can’t point to anything specific that made the overture great, maybe it was actually hearing it live, but I loved it!

Tugger makes an entrance, even in chorus form. You know at the very beginning of Jellicle Songs when a few cats silently get on stage? Chorus Tugger hits the wall super loudly and startles the other cats when he arrives

Munkustrap has a pretty dark voice in this production and I’m a big fan <3 And at first I thought Cassandra did too, cause both times I watched it, when she says “Were you there when the pharaohs commissioned the Sphinx?” it sounds like she does, but not really during the “Jellicle cats have moonlit eyes” line. Idk much about voice types so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but I did really like her voice (I really love international tour Cassandra so much so I’m definitely biased but her voice was great <3)

On Thursday Electra got the “When you’re walking alone” line, but she later swung on as Baby Griz, however on Saturday, Baby Griz got the line and Electra randomly appeared during the Jellicle Ball. I’m a bit confused about it but it was nice to see my girl Electra :D

During Jellicle Songs and The Naming, Cassandra and Mungojerrie were near each other and interacting with each other a lot, so I now have no other option but to headcanon them as friends <3

Misto and Cass were next to each other for like a second so Cassoffelees is canon because I said so

I love the mysic twins. Not for any specific reason I just do <3 this tour is the best thing to happen to the short haired cats’ wigs ever, I love their ears

In the first performance there was no boot that fell, so they just kind of awkwardly stopped singing and the audience started clapping a tiny bit before they picked up again, but it did fall the other time so idk what was up with that

I LOVE int tour Vicky, her design is so cute! You couldn’t really see her toasted marshmallow-iness because of the lighting but I’m assuming that’s intentional. She looked great though, and her solo was so !!!!

Ok so I know Vicky and Misto dance the invitation together in like all productions but please understand the severe chokehold monochromatic siblings has on me, them dancing together brings me much joy

Gumbie Tap is already one of my favorite parts of the show and this tour knocked it out of the park, Jenny’s “Smile!” in the middle of it is so good, it really gave the perfect vibes for my interpretation of her character. Her voice is amazing <3 the vibes were off the charts

I’ve made a note that Tugger’s voice was really good, I don’t remember exactly what it was that made his voice so good but like. Dude trust me, he’s got a good voice

Misto got the terrible bore line and really dragged it out like “Teeeeeeribel bore” it was great, afterwards he just sits on the car boot with Jelly and Skimble while pretending to ignore Tugger

When Bomba says the “curious beast” line she positively growls his name, a huge W for Tuggerlurina shipper

Casslonzo moment at the end of RTT, what better way to bond with your babe than thirsting over the guy you both have the hots for together

AND THEN GRIZ OH MY GOD Gunilla fucking killed it holy shit that voice oh my godddddd she’s a powerhouse and she puts so much emotion into her voice I was blown away every time she stepped on stage

I wrote “Bucket Boy stop being a bitch” and it doesn’t really add anything but I think it’s funny so I’m leaving it in. Munku steps in and stops Bucket Boy from being a bitch btw

Demeter looks like she’s reaching out to Griz before Bomba stops her??? my heart oof

I don’t mind the straight Griz wig for Gunilla. I think a lot of the time it makes Griz look to young, and can often, to me at least, contradict important parts of her characterization, but Gunilla’s vibes were just too amazing and she looked great, one of the few times I’ve seen a Griz with a straight wig and thought “Wow, yeah that’s really Grizabella how she should be”

Jenny is Jerrie and Teazer’s mum canon, she acts very Mum to them during Grizabella, they’re used to being trouble makers but this isn’t the type of trouble they like

Bustopher and the kittens have a bunch of cute interactions <3 example he scritches Carbucketty’s head its so cute

So Misto admires this man. He also does NOT like rice pudding at all. Blergh.

Bustopher knights Skimble with his spoon lol Also this Skimble is such a funky fella, he’s on all fours as much if not more than the kittens hehe

Teazer’s laugh is so cute <3

Misto’s voice when he asks the twins if it’s Old Deut </3 HE SOUNDS SO UNSURE OF HIMSELF

Misto spends a significant amount of the Jellicle Ball on the tire. He’s definitely played as a bit older than a lot of other modern productions, more like early London rather than 1998, he has a similar role to Munk so I guess that could be a reason? Either way it’s something I noticed I thought was interesting

You know after the white cat lift when they’re all on the ground? Tuggers mane is so big he sticks out so much it was kinda funny cause it’s this calm pause in the middle of a huge number and all I can think is “hehe Tugger is so fluffy”

Cass stops Vicky from touching Grizabella after the Ball???? Make of that what you will, but it was certainly A Moment for me

Here in my notes just praise Gunilla’s voice some more. It was just really good okay

She’s in the background during the Moments of Happiness and sings along with the chorus in Moonlight and it broke my heart like CAN’T YOU SEE SHE’S THERE AND SHE’S HURTING AAAAAA

Jelly <3 her voice is so good <3

Gus <3 he really embodies someone who’s mental energy exceeds his physical energy in a really heartbreaking way :( He keeps doing these movements like he’s preparing to do a scene but he’s too tired :(

The background of Gus’ number said Jemtoria rights btw

I’m in general not a big fan of new Pekes and Polls, I think it removes a lot of the fun in it even though I like the whole “Gus is doing theatre again” aspect, but despite that I enjoyed the number immensely because Munk and Gus’ voices are just SO GOOD like WOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tugger helps Gus change back from Rumpus Cat to his old coat btw. I thought that was important <3

OLD DEUT AND GUS HUG OMG I ALMOST STARTED CRYING THEEMMMMMM <3 Old Deut hugs are literally always amazing just because he’s big and fluffy and it looks so safe and comfortable but this had the added aspect of breaking my heart because Gus <3

Skimble!!!!!! Old Deut starts singing Skimbleshanks cause Rumpleteazer is upset and he wants to cheer her up :(

Skimble’s number is never not good <3 I had the train light shone in my face which was fun and Misto gave a lil wave to someone in the audience

My note here was “Hehe Mungo in da tube” which means that Mungojerrie was the one holding the chimney of the train, and when it all fell appart he was standing inside it laughing, it was great

Also! The feline staircase was Mungo and Munk, and Tugger was the one holding his hand. I think this version of Tugger is a lot more mature than a lot of other versions, but he kinda fades into the background? Idk, he seems much more like friends with the older cats which I think is really nice :]

In this one it’s more explicitly shown that Macavity is mind controlling the others when he kidnaps old Deut, they all fall asleep after he waves his hands at them

APPARENTLY THEY HAVE MULTIPLE PEOPLE IN MAC COSTUMES WHICH CREATES THE ILLUSION OF HIM TELEPORTING OMG I don’t know if this is new or has been a thing for a while but I didn’t know about it so when I saw it I was like :0 it was so cool

⚠️Warning, we now enter the “Nate has no clue what to say so get the unfiltered notes I guess” zone⚠️

This Demeter ough <3 is SO good. I love her.

Tbh? Macavity (the song) wasn’t as sexy as I feel like it should be. Don’t get me wrong it was fucking AWESOME and OMG THEIR SINGING but idk. Someone who doesn’t know anything about the show wouldn’t care (but I do <3)

THE FIGHT OMG the bass was so strong it was like I could feel my heartbeat /pos and after he fails to kidnap Demeter he goes after Bomba for a hot second??

THE EXPLOSION AT THE END. DAMN.

The twins (I don’t remember if this is referring to the mystic twins of the chaos twins lmao) making sure Munk is okay after the fight <3

Tugger’s silhouette caused by the train lamp when he starts talking is so cool

SPARKLE BOY ARRIVES FROM THE CEILING

I love,,,, him face <3 I need to make a “which Misto makeup design am I gonna be not normal about today?” post about him cause,,,, ough <3

He high fives Tugger, this production gave me very bro vibes for them <3

I love the way he moves, he is very cat <3

Cassoffelees canon the Everlasting Herself told me

OMG THEY RUN OUT INTO THE AUDIENCE AT ONE POINT AND CAUSE I HAD AN AISLE SEAT CASS GOT SO CLOSE TO ME DOES SHE KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HER I had the stupidest grin on my face <3

Teehee he whispers in Tugger’s ear

ITS A SMALL THING BUT “Felines and friends” INSTEAD OF LADIES AND GENTLEMEN CATS IS THE GENDER CONFIRMED

HE DOES THE SHRINKY LIGHT THING AAAAAAAAA

Griz :0

Her voice <3 love her it’s AMAZING

When Griz falls all the cats sort of reach out to her as if to help her but stop themselves [cries]

Tbh just the slightest bit disappointed at the climax of Memory, she held that One note a bit shorter than I feel is necessary for the full effect BUT OMG HER VOICE OUGH

Hehe when Griz goes to the heaviside layer she just. Floats. Bye bye.

Here are some more general notes I don’t really know where to put

Right at the end of intermission someone was looking at their phone and Skimble stood super close to them and got super startled when they noticed him and a lot of the people who saw it laughed

THEN right after someone else was glued to their phone and Munkustrap rubbed his head against them and startled them and a bunch of people laughed again it was amazing

Cassoffelees is the most canon ever, during the bows they did a little spinny thing arm in arm <3 I think about them so much constantly

Misto also does these really precise chaînés across the entire stage and I thought it looked so cool it was awesome

Also. Cassoffelees as Victoria’s parents. Something to think about (I am Thinking about it)

And still. Gunilla is a fucking powerhouse. She’s up there with my favorite Grizabellas, like on par with Eleine Paige and Betty Buckley

In conclusion: Cats are excellent little creatures

[self-proclaimed-best-blog]

I think I'm gay.

Admission post for future me. I'm glad nobody follows this page.

But I think I'm seriously considering it.

I think girls are pretty. But I can never bring myself to be attracted to women. I was all like "HYUK HYUK IM A BOOBS GUY!!!" but I'm unsure if that was ever true. Maybe it is true? Is it? Do I really like ladies? Maybe it was the idea of liking ladies that made me think this.

I've never flirted or dated anyone before. I don't know what it's like to be with anyone in particular.

But I believe I was caught up in being like the rest of the crowd. Or trying to. I was never girl crazy. I always just thought attraction was very little and not deep. Because I tried hard to stray away from the idea of liking other men, I never considered being in love or crushing on anyone was more than a "They're pretty and kinda nice I dig their vibe so I'll romance them". That got me thinking about what it was like to date a girl. I thought it was just like super close friends but you buy roses, kiss sometimes and maybe wear a suit while your lady wears white and you kiss under some church alter.

But apparently, that's not all there is to it. Shocker!

I found myself deep diving into 80s cheesy romance movies which led to romance cartoons, and romance comics to romance anime and manga recently. I never really liked that crap (at least the romance part of it ) much in all honesty. In retrospect it was probably me not being able to like relate to the characters. (The characters typically being a woman and a man)

But recently I found some stupid nerd anime-movie about two dudes. And I felt something. I thought something that wasn't "oh good for them" "Wow they seem happy" "They work well together" "They deserve a happy ending" in a very non-chalant and statement of fact sorta way. No, it was much more of a feeling rather than a thought. Something that made the gears in my head turn. It made me wanna giggle and kick my feet. It made me invested and feel connected to these characters. I think it made me wish it was me. (I know, a whole ass male admitting to being giddy like a little girl, that's crazy)

I was like "Huh. That's weird." and I haven't stopped thinking about it.

So I kept thinking and thinking. I looked more into queer media. I looked into bibliographies of gay people and their early life experiences.

I'm really uncomfortable about how familiar these things sounded to my own desires and life.

Over the course of the month I absorbed more media that has to do with gay dudes. Just sweet stuff about falling in love and slice of life. I found some ones I like a lot. like genuinely love these. They felt comforting and relatable. They felt genuine and hit right at home for me... A lot of these things even had making out and holding on tight to each other during emotional moments. When I watched shows, movies or read books that have a straight couple just kissing or connecting like that, I felt... uncomfortable. I assumed it was just me being immature and not getting over that "KISSING IS GROSS!!!" phase that little kids have around the ages of 6-12. But I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. I felt warm inside. It made me yearn for something I never even before considered. It made me want affection. It made me wanna be held. But not just by anyone. By another man. It felt like my heartstrings were being tugged at and violently pulled instead of barely strummed. It's a feeling I can't shake.

It's not even inherently sexual either. I just wanna be loved I think. But being loved by a woman doesn't seem as good as being loved by another guy.

I don't wanna express this. I wanna continue on like i was a couple months ago. Very infatuated with the idea of liking girls even if I didn't have any genuine interest in getting with one. At least I was oblivious and happy. Most of my friends are part of the LGBTQ+ so I don't know why I feel so... bad. Why I feel so bad about feeling this way when I know 90% of my homies would support me and help me feel comfortable in any way they could. It's not the coming out to them part that scares me. It's accepting myself that does. I don't think I wanna be this way but I think it's undeniable now. And yet I still try to shove denial and excuses down my own throat. I can't push it back or suppress it now that it's all up in my face now.

THIS IS SO CONFUSING. 💀

I just feel guilty.

Sick to my stomach guilty. I threw up about this the other day actually. I don't understand.

I got a haircut by the way.

[what-ever-happened-to-chip]

Gray confronts Noah

Fuck its been 3 months clean. I know it's good, but god damn I could use a hit now. He had been putting this off but remembering his conversation with Jesse the other day, he couldn't get it out of his mind. He needed to do something. What that something is he didn’t know. 

Gray flashes back to conversation with Jesse a week ago

“Hey man, have you talked to your sister recently? Gray asked trying to look as cool and collected as possible. 

“Seeing no one has had any contact with the other camp whatcha think my answers gonna be? By the way, your dick is hanging out and damn oh baby is he a beauty.”

Gray quickly shoves it back in. 

“Well I heard Akio is still allowed to have Zoom sessions with patients so i thought i don’t know maybe ya somehow, I don’t know hacked in.”

“Jesus you can be a dumb cunt sometimes, first of all when have you ever seen Joni actually go see Akio and second thats only for certain patients and its heavily monitored and bullet proof. Plus do I look like a hacker? My whole body screams cool and heart throb not tweeby kid who used to have to eat other kids styrofoam lunch trays.” 

“ I just, well,l I need to tell her I’m sorry.”

“Uh huh and I need a right good fuck and neither one of those things is gonna help either one of us.” Jesse slipped outta bed and went to his dresser. Rummaging around he pulled out what looked like a polaroid. 

“Not that this really matters to you, but this is the only photo I have of Lily, the only time I will ever fuckin see her again, I used to see her, ya know make sure after life was going good, but nope thats ruined now because of your stupid fucking God complex trying to fix my sister.” Jesse stared at the photo awhile. He did the most saddest smile laugh and placed it back in its place.  Seeing him serious for once made Gray very uncomfortable. 

“And for the record dickweed you can’t fix her, fact that you think you can just proves how fucking stupid you really are.” Jesse walked towards the door and paused. “I for one wish I could solve your stupidity but I have a date with my left hand and I prefer this to be between me and God.” He used his hand to gesture Gray out the door, which he complied with.

Turning back to now, Gray stared at his wall with eyes closed. Gray as a point tried to never talk to Noah. Mostly cause he was jealous and knew it. Why would Joni want to use that guy as an emotional support? He was so skinny the wind could blow him over. At this Gray started touching his bicep in satisfaction. He’d been working out trying to get them back since quitting dope and the progress was phenomenal. If Harry was to see this his cum would slowly be staining his underwear. Gray thought more of Noah, the dude was stupider than a doorknob. He couldn’t even fucking read. Not that Gray read much but he could. Plus the guy didn’t even seem to like the same things as Joni. Gray did they both liked making fun of people, stupid movies and well the obvious ones of drugs. What the hell did she see in him? Shit thinking Noah, had given Gray more confidence. He was gonna confront him, the guy had to know what he did was wrong. Joni would have been able to heal but the guy didn’t think things through he just followed Joni like a sad little puppy with shit for brains. 

Sighing Gray stood up. Looking in the mirror, he did a small narcissistic smile. Checked down to make sure his clothes were on and dick tucked in, he realized he’d lost his pants somewhere so put some on real quick. He thought of a shirt but he felt so proud of his muscles and decided to keep it off. 

He left his room and began walking to Noahs. Natsu tried talking to him on way over, something about some new skank he was about to go bang but Gray brushed him off. 

He approached the door, should he knock or just walk in? He contemplated for a bit and decided to just walk in. Door locks weren’t allowed so he didn’t have to worry about that. 

Noah was laying in bed in dark, he had these blackout curtains so Gray could only see his outline from the light coming from the door. Fucker didn’t even move, fuck would he have to wake him up? 

“Hey” Gray said in the most nonchalant voice he could muster. Fuck just seeing this guy he wanted to kick his ass. 

A hello came from the bed. Good better to talk to him when he wasn’t all groggy from waking up. Gray closed door and opened up the curtains. Sun filled the room and he looked around. He had never been in here before. It was simple enough, just the bed and a dresser. He strolled to the dresser and saw a book on learning the alphabet. It was aimed for three year olds. Oh yeah Gray was much better. 

By this time Noah had sat up and just was looking at Gray. After a long enough time to make it awkward he spoke “What are you doing in here?”

“I wanted to talk to you.” Gray looked around for a chair but there wasn’t one and he sure as fuck wasn’t sitting on the bed next to him. He decided to just lean against the dresser. Yea that looked cool. 

“Okay about what?” Noahs look was so distant it seemed he wasn’t even here. It made Gray slightly put off. Here he was and this dude couldn’t even keep his attention on him.

“About Joni, what the fuck else?”

“Okay”

Grays eye twitched. Okay? Thats all he can say is okay? god this guy didn’t even have good conversational skills what the Fuck did Joni see in him. 

Gray waited for him to say more but he didn’t get it. Guess he would have to be the only one who knew how to say more then three words. 

“So well I guess only way to say this is bluntly, so here it goes. It was fucked up what you did to Lily, she was Jonis daughter and you fucking killed her. Yea I get she told you too but you should know it wasn’t right, it wasn’t fucking right at all. I go through all this shit have to almost jerk people off to make this work so Joni can heal and then what after a day, just a fucking day you end her? Like what the fuck is that shit man?” Gray was pacing the room now flinging his hands around. 

“And why the fuck have you been moping around your room ever since, its Joni who is upset and you act like its all about you, oh poor you, you feel fucking bad well you fucking should, this would have helped her, she needed that, I mean look at her shes been a trainwreck since I have known her and its only getting worse.”

Noah just sat with his legs on the floor staring at the ground. Gray wanted him to say something why was this fucker such a coward, he knew what he did was wrong thats why. 

“Well do you have anything to say for yourself fucker?”

“No I don’t actually, I have nothing to say.”

Now Gray was really pissed, he found the alphabet book and threw it at Noah, who didn’t even bother to block it. Wow and his reflexes sucked, weird fucking choice Joni picked with this one. 

“Yea well you better fucking say something cause I am this close to kicking the fuck outta you.” 

Noah sighed heavily and walked over to the window. “Hmm I haven’t seen the sun in a while, it really is something you miss, you know.” Grays eyes burned into him. Guess it will have to be the hard way, he tried to talk not his fault this dude was fuckin autistic or something. 

Noah turned and looked Gray up and down, almost as if he was seeing him here for the first time. “Okay so you want me to apologize for something you did wrong, is that it?” He said calmed and flatly

Gray was taken aback, if the dude had yelled it that woulda resonated more with him. What he did wrong what the fuck was this guy saying? God, guy didn’t even see what he did wrong. Gray almost woulda felt sad for him if he wasn’t so angry. In back of his mind Jesses words sung back to him ‘i won’t see her ever again because of you’ was that what he said? Something to that effect at least. Gray decided to stay with the angry path, much easier then thinking of his own blunders. 

“I didn’t do anything wrong I was trying to help and you fucking ruined it.” Gray spat at him

“I ruined it you say? Thats interesting, I coulda swore I was the one to clean up your mess, You think it was easy for me, do you think I wanted to do it? No of course not, but I could at least see that is what Joni needed.”

Gray saw his point and knew it to be true but he couldn’t back down. No it had to be good for Joni it had to be. While he thought of something to say, Noah beat him to it.

“I know your intentions were good, but I don’t think you can look at yourself enough to see that it wasn’t for the best. It was opening a wound that had almost healed, well perhaps not almost but was at least scabbed. Now its bleeding again and well thats on you. Do you know true lost? Do you actually know how it feels to hurt? To hate yourself so many waking hours that all you can do move in any direction you can find just to keep moving? I don’t know a lot, I know what you did was wrong though, have I come to you to say this? No of course I haven’t because I assumed you were hurting inside from what you did. I guess I was wrong, proving again how much I don’t know.”

He paused to light a cigarette.. Gray didn’t know he smoked. Come to think of it, he really didn’t know anything about this guy.  

“If you need to blame me, do it, I don’t mind, I have caused so much hurt and pain, what does it matter if just another person hates me. But let me tell you this, I do care if Joni hates me. I know you can’t understand what we have, I could explain it to you but I don’t know if I could find the right words of if you even want to hear them. I did what I thought was best for her and if I upset you in the process so be it.” Noah looked away from window and stared directly at Gray

“For you mean absolutely nothing to me, and she means everything to me.”

Gray couldn’t stop himself; he punched Noahs face as hard as he could manage. Noah fell to the ground and to Grays udder confusion started to laugh. He laughed so long and so hard Gray was convinced he must have brain damaged the guy even more than he already was. 

Eventually Noah sat up and refound his cigarette to light again. Gray was so utterly at a loss of what to say he just said the first thing that popped up.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

Noah paused to look at his cigarette before responding. “Seems we both know nothing of each other.” He stared up at Gray again with the intensity of before. Gray fought off looking away. No way was this guy going to make him feel uncomfortable. 

Noah sighed and put his cigarette out of the window sill. Gazing out the window again he spoke

“I have made many mistakes, so many but what I did wasn’t  a mistake, it needed to be done for a love I can’t fully understand. Ever since I have had this thing inside me.” He paused to place a hand on his chest. “I never thought I would ever be able to help anyone ever again, I never thought I would be able to care for anyone ever again. I accepted my fate as the villain, the bad man, the devil.”  Noah placed his hand down and went back to sitting on the bed.

“This has showed me though I am not all bad, I really should thank you for this, I was in utter despair, a despair you can never know, but you here now, has shown me that I am capable of love, I am capable to help the ones I care about, even if to you it doesn’t appear that way, I know it and Joni knows it.” 

Gray didn’t know what to say, his head was picking out the pieces that made him hate Noah, but it also saw the truth in what he said. And that part made Gray hate himself. 

Noah sat on the bed gazing towards him. Gray couldn't take the look he had towards him. He shook his head and walked out of the room and continued to walk till he walked back to his room and dialed up his drug dealer.

[flamingo-writes]

Heyyyyyy, sooo I was thinking bout being Mike's older sister, and dating eddie secretly, but then, Ed has to mention his girlfriend( they still dont know who it is, just that he has one),but none of the hellfire boys believe him and then one night, in a make out sesh on his throne, the boys come in the room,( eddie "forgot"😉 it was DnD night) and Mike is just like, shooketh and it's really funny, sorry if it's too precise or detailed

I was away for the weekend and hardly had time to write. But, As soon as I saw this request I fell in love with it and started writing it right away. It took me some time to get done bcs adult life sucks, and this kinda turned out longer than expected 🤡 but that shouldn’t come as a surprise at this point. This also turned out fluffier than expected, I wanted this to be funny but it turned out to be more soft and fluffy… with some funny parts ofc.

Im also implying that the design of the Hellfire shirt was made by the reader.

Got To Be Real — e.m.

Eddie Munson x Wheeler!Reader

Title based off N.I.B. by Black Sabbath

Word count: 3.6K

Warnings: None that I can think of. Mentions of the reader having an active sex life, I guess?

Mixtape Masterlist

Mike unfolded the new shirt Eddie had thrown at them. Giving a new shirt to each and every one of the members of the Hellfire Club, making sure he handed the right size at everyone. Dustin chuckled next to Mike as Mike admired the details, the D20, a sword in fire, the logo, it all looked pretty badass, Mike thought.

“Oh shit, Eddie, these new shirts are amazing. Where did you get them?” Dustin asked as Mike wasted no time and put it on over the Star Wars shirt he was wearing.

“Oh, my girlfriend does screen printing” Eddie replied.

Dustin laughed again, this time differently, as Mike’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion and looked up, meeting Eddie’s dark eyes incredulously. Girlfriend?

“Whoa, whoa, your what now?”

“My girlfriend, Henderson” Eddie said in a sassy voice.

“Yeah right”

“You don’t believe me?” He asked, his voice growing more serious, as the look in his eyes changed quickly.

“I me-mean, I rarely see you talk to girls, you know, you intimidate most people…and screen printing is such an odd hobby…” Dustin said, justifying himself with a nervous giggle as he tried to reach at straws for whatever could help him from seeing Eddie’s wrath.

“My sister does screen printing” Mike said, looking at Dustin.

“Your sister is an art student…” Dustin blurted out “Besides, she’s living in Indianapolis, she’s not dating Eddie”

Eddie frowned, his look only growing more and more serious and colder, looking at Dustin, as if he wasn’t making any sense.

“I mean, yeah…She’s been acting odd ever since she started college, I think she might be dating someone, though…but every time I ask she refuses to tell me” Mike added, making Eddie chuckle and look away, rolling his eyes annoyed.

“She’s dating some dude from college…” Dustin stated as if it were obvious.

"Are you done chit chatting, kids?" Eddie interrupted bitterly.

"How’s your girlfriend called, then, Eddie…" Dustin asked with a defying look.

Eddie chuckled.

"That’s none of your goddamn business, Henderson" Eddie growled.

"Because she isn’t real" Dustin intervened.

Mike hit Dustin on the ribs with his elbow, as Dustin flinched and whined. Mike giving him a look with wide scared eyes, hoping that Dustin would het the message that he was pissing Eddie off. However, Dustin raised his eyebrows confused and shrugged, making Mike sigh and roll his eyes.

"Can I level with you?" Eddie's voice suddenly sounded calm "Assuming my girlfriend was imaginary, then why would I bother lying to you about where I got the shirts?" He asked.

"Good question," Dustin said, "But I still think it’s odd we’ve never seen you with a girl before, and you don’t tell us her what name is—"

"Henderson," Eddie cut him off with a serious low growl.

"Yes?"

"Give me back that shirt"

"Wha-what?" Dustin laughed uncomfortably "C’mon Ed…I-I’m kidding. This shirt is very cool, and your girlfriend is very talented. Tell her I said these are amazing…" Dustin mumbled nervously, as he clung to his shirt

"That's what I thought" Eddie said.

The last Friday of every month was Hellfire Club Friday. The last Friday of every month, they knew they couldn’t make any plans, as they were going to spend the entire afternoon playing D&D. However, you had forgotten that little detail.

Every time you returned to Hawkins, you usually spent the Friday nights and Sunday mornings with your family before driving back to Indianapolis. And the entirety of your Saturday with your boyfriend, Eddie. And you knew Eddie usually held campaigns on Fridays, but it was hard to track when exactly, and you knew he liked to take his time carefully planning everything, going over his notes from previous campaigns. You admired his dedication to his craft.

This, as well as his creativity, among many other things were what made you fall in love with him. Four years of high school, getting together every once in a while to play D&D, even though you two belonged to different social groups, you still got along pretty well. And slowly fell for each other over the course of your high school years, and started going out on dates in your last semester.

And while Eddie didn't get to graduate with you, that didn't stop him from asking you to be his girlfriend. And moving to Indianapolis for college did not stop you from saying yes.

And for two long years, you'd manage to keep your relationship afloat and going strong. While the both of you wished you could see each other daily as opposed to a few times a month, you made up for it by calling each other on a daily basis.

And during your last phone call, Eddie sounded particularly needy and whiny, begging you over and over again to go see him on Friday after school.

And saying no to him required a whole deal of effort. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to say no to him. You left Indianapolis earlier than you usually did, to get to see your boyfriend for a while before your usual expected arrival at your parent's home.

Needy was an understatement. Eddie was sitting on his throne, with you straddling him. His lips attached to yours, devouring and swallowing every sweet noise that came out of your mouth. A slow yet passionate kiss, telling you exactly how much he'd missed you.

His hands roaming underneath your shirt, as you knew this make out session was going to end up with the both of you hot and bothered, as you wouldn't be able to do much in there without drawing suspicions. That, and you were running out of time. But boy, was it nostalgic. Your first kiss looked something like this. It had started as a shy kiss with the Dungeon Master after the last campaign of your high school and him confessing his feelings for you.

However, Eddie had deliberately missed the little detail that today was Hellfire Friday, and everyone else was on their way to the classroom where Eddie was taking his time teasing you. Touching your soft spots, tasting your needy moans, and making sure you knew how much he missed you and how much he needed you, although he knew he’d have to wait until tomorrow to finally claim you as his once again. Right now it wasn’t about making love to you, it was about getting to fool around, and proving his point to the newest members of the Club who didn’t believe him when he said he had a girlfriend.

"Wait, she's back already?" Dustin asked Mike curiously as they turned left on the hall, making their way to the Hellfire Club.

"Yeah she said she finished this term earlier because she aced everything and doesn't have to show to her finals…" Mike explained, telling him how your summer holidays had basically started earlier this semester.

"Whoa, she's so cool!" Dustin sighed.

"I know, night? Anyways, I asked her if she could pick me up after the campaign tonight since Nance will be busy, and I doubt my dad wants to miss on his game on the TV to pick me up…" Mike said.

"Could she give me a ride back to my place?" Dustin wondered.

"Yeah, of course. She loves you," Mike added.

As they stopped in front of the door, they pushed the door open, unaware of what they were both about to see. As the door creaked open, the heard a soft moan, and quickly exchanged uncomfortable stares before Dustin finished pushing the door open. The door made a louder creaking noise, and the horror that soon took over their faces could not be compared to anything they’d ever seen.

"Oh, oh! What the fuck?!" Dustin yelled, realizing there was a girl sitting on Eddie’s lap.

"Shit, Eddie, next time could you—" Mike whined, as shocked as Dustin, however, his voice was cut off, and he felt his jaw fall to the ground, as he put the pieces together, paralyzed, shocked.

"Shit, fuck" You growled in a low voice as you recognized your little brother’s voice and looked the opposite direction, knowing it was useless, but still clinging to the teeny tiny chance of managing to go unnoticed or at least unidentified.

"Sis?" Mike’s voice freezing your blood.

You sighed deeply and exchanged stares with Eddie, noticing a little mischievous grin on his face as you squinted, thinking he was behind all of this. You then turned to look at your little brother, and uncomfortably waved at him. Not muttering a single word.

"You're dating my sister?"

"Eddie's your boyfriend?!"

Both Mike and Dustin spat, shocked and incredulous as they replayed the conversation they had regarding Eddie’s girlfriend, and thought about the chances of it being you and wondering how obvious it was. Screen printing was an odd hobby to have, but you did…and Eddie’s girlfriend did too. Now that Mike did the math, it was obvious that Eddie and you were classmates, on his first run of the senior year, you’d been acting odd for the last two years, not really talking about your boyfriend but making it clear that you had one, Ed never really engaging with other girls aside of short simple interactions. You two had similar tastes in music, you’d taught Mike and his friends to play D&D…now that Mike thought about it, it was more possible than he’d thought.

“ Did you plan this?" You hissed, squinting at Eddie.

"Maybe" He said, as you rolled your eyes and got off his lap, fixing your shirt and your skirt.

"I can't believe this" Dustin said.

"So, all the… marks I saw on your neck, Eddie…" Mike murmured, making Eddie laugh.

"Ew, no, Mike stop!" Dustin begged as you rolled your eyes and felt your face heating up, and besting your head in your hands.

"Gentlemen," Eddie said in a calm voice as you looked up from your hands and turned your gaze to meet his. "I'd like to present to you my beautiful, talented, incredibly smart, and very real girlfriend..."

"Real? Oh, Ed—" You groaned and chuckled softly "Yeah, I should've imagine Mike was going to join your D&D club, and I should’ve imagined they were not going to believe you have a girlfriend…" You said looking at Eddie as he shrugged.

"How are you two—" Mike asked baffled.

"Eddie and l actually met in this same club, we became close friends, and I don't know, shortly before I graduated, something happened between us and we started dating" You explained.

"But you moved to Indianapolis for college!" Mike snapped.

"Aw, that's actually cute" Dustin said, noticing they way Eddie rested his head against your chest and you brought a hand to his hair, as he held you close to him.

"Yeah, so? I still come here at least twice a month to see you guys, and also to see Eddie" You replied, as Eddie’s hand grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to his throne, wrapping his arm around your hips as you stood in front of his seat and he gave Mike a cheeky grin.

"You have any idea how hard it's to keep a long distance relationship, Wheeler?" Eddie asked.

"It's pretty hard..." Dustin said. Thinking of Susie.

"Mike's girlfriend moved to California..." You said softly, letting Eddie know.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mike asked you.

"We'll talk about this later, Mike, I don't feel like doing this right now, in front of all of hellfire…" You said, as Dustin and Mike exchanged stares and then looked over their shoulders, noticing the little audience they’d gathered; the rest of the Hellfire Club, who knew Eddie wasn’t lying about having a girlfriend "And, Eddie," You said looking at Eddie "Give Mike a ride home after you guys are done" You said as he chuckled and looked at you.

"What?" Eddie asked with a puzzled chuckle.

"Be a good boyfriend and give my little brother a ride" You said caressing his cheek with your hand. "Would you do that for me?" You said pouting at Eddie.

"Oh this is your revenge, isn't it?" Eddie said quitting as you giggled.

"Yes" You replied and leaned forward kissing his forehead.

"Oh, shit, no! I was going to ask you if you could give me a ride back home!" Dustin whined, knowing Eddie would not give him a ride back home.

"Of course, Dustin. I can give you a ride!" You said looking at Dustin and smiling.

"Oh come on!" Eddie complained "Your evil, Wheeler" You looked at your boyfriend, raising an eyebrow, feigning a naive look.

"Am l?" You asked.

"You're so gonna pay" He murmured, giving your hips a slight squeeze.

"Me? You're the one who set up this! If anything, you owe me, Munson" You said with a grin.

After exchanging playful, yet defiant stares and a little bit of bickering, you left going to your parents house, leaving the guys to finally play Dungeons and Dragons. And, as the afternoon got wasted away, Eddie could easily go into his Dungeon Master persona, and guide and narrate the guys through their adventure, however, Mike had a harder time concentrating. A million questions flooded his mind and was eager to know the answers to them all. He knew asking Eddie mid game would only end in Eddie telling him to focus and to take the campaign seriously, and he knew better than to provoke Eddie, specially during a campaign.

And finally, when the time came to go back home, the awkward tension was palpable in Eddie’s van. Neither of them wanted to be in that situation. It was haunting and asphyxiating. But somehow, Mike felt this impending need to ask, and get at least one answer to at least one of the many questions that had been haunting him.

“So, uh…you’ve been dating my sister since she graduated?” Mike asked awkwardly, he noticed the way Eddie's hands gripped the steering wheel.

“Are we really going to have this conversation?” Eddie hissed.

“I mean, knowing my sister, I’m pretty sure this is why she asked you to bring me home”

Eddie sighed deeply, Mike's words circling his mind, and thinking about it.

“Well. Yeah, you’re right. This does sound like something she’d do…” Eddie said defeated, “And yes, we’ve been dating for two years now…”

“That’s a long time…”

“Yes it is,”

“And uh,” Mike said biting the inside of his cheek “Do you…love her?” Eddie snickered sarcastically.

“You think I’d be enduring along distance relationship if I didn’t?” He replied bitterly and gave Mike a quick glare.

“I’m just asking” Mike stiffened and shrugged.

“Yes, man. I love her,” Eddie added. “She’s…perfect. She’s smart, and talented. She likes the same music as me, she never judged me nor let my reputation get in the way of our friendship back when she was in high school…you know, she got along with the popular kids, and she was still friends with me, and god,” Eddie sighed “She plays D&D too. Seriously, the girl of my dreams…” His voice softened.

Mike wondered if he'd ever heard Eddie talk in such a sincere way. Sure, Eddie wasn't scared to speak his mind, but he'd never heard Eddie talk in such a soft voice. Even when he talked about things he liked, he kept his cheeky arrogant tone. Not this time. His voice softened, and sounded almost dreamy.

"Oh, I didn’t know that…" Mike whispered, not sure what to reply.

"If you’re worried that I might hurt her or whatever, don’t," Eddie said glancing quickly at Mike "She seriously means so much to me, I’d never do anything to hurt her" He said, that sincere soft voice remaining.

Mike nodded and looked back at the windshield, looking into the road as he still had several questions circling his mind.

"I know it's…none of my business but…can I ask why are you guys keeping your relationship a secret?" Mike asked, not sure how Eddie would react to his question.

"Because I asked her to," Eddie said with a flat voice, eyes glued to the road as he took a turn, getting close to Mike's place "I know your parents won’t be exactly accepting of their daughter dating someone like me, and I don’t want to put her in a difficult position…" Eddie explained.

Mike thought about it. And while, perhaps, their mom could warm up to Eddie, their dad would most likely disapprove. His father already told Mike on a daily basis to stop wasting his time with D&D. He also complained to you about the kind of music you listened to. If he were to meet Eddie, it would definitely start an argument with you.

"Her friends in Indianapolis know we're dating…" Eddie added, "So it’s not entirely a secret. I actually know her friends from college. When she can’t come here to Hawkins I drive to Indianapolis to see her…" Eddie explained.

"Oh, wow…Eddie that’s cool. I mean, that you go to her when she can’t come here…I’m sure it means a lot to her…"

"Yeah?" Eddie said parking outside your parents' house and looking at Mike. "Well, I'd do anything for her"

"Yeah, that's very cool of you…" Mike replied awkwardly "Well, thanks for the ride, Eddie…And, I think it’s cool that you’re dating my sister, I always saw my sister acting all cheesy and in love but she never talked about her boyfriend, she only said he was the best that has happened to her…" Eddie chuckled.

"Really?"

"Yeah, but don’t tell her. She’ll know I told you and will kick my ass" Mike whined, making Eddie laugh out loud.

"Oh, I’m so sorry Wheeler, but I cannot keep that promise in particular…" He teased looking at Mike.

"Oh man," Mike chuckled softly looking away.

"Off you go, kid. I guess I’ll wait for your sister to come back from driving Henderson home,"

"What if my parents see you?" Eddie chuckled looking at Mike’s stern face.

"They never do," Eddie’s arrogant tone came back "I’ve snuck into your sister’s room countless times before and no one has ever noticed"

"You what?" Mike snapped.

"See? Not even you’ve noticed" Eddie chuckled victorious.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys, seriously"

—

“I know you’re here, Ed. I saw your van parked in the corner…” You said walking into your room noticing the open window.

Normally you’d leave it unlocked, however, not open. At least not when you’d leave the house. And after returning from giving Dustin a ride and chatting with him about the whole Eddie situation, finding your window open and Mike already home, and a very familiar van parked in the corner a few houses away from yours…it was all too suspicious.

"Welcome home, princess" Eddie said emerging from your closet, as he dramatically opened your closet doors.

You met his dark eyes and smiled walking towards him as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, and he hugged you back, lifting you up. You took a deep breath, feeling the familiar scent of his cologne and cigarette smoke. He did the same thing unconsciously, taking in the smell of your shampoo and his favorite perfume of yours.

"Did you enjoy the ride with Mike?" You asked him breaking the hug.

"We had some bonding time, yes…" He replied as you gave him an approving nod, "You seriously never told anyone" Eddie added, you met his stare and shrugged.

"You told me not to, and of course I was going to keep my promise to you" You said smiling softly at him.

Over the course of your friendship, Eddie learned you weren’t the best at keeping secrets. Or at least to your friends and family. Two years in a row you completely ruined the surprise and always told him what you’d gotten him for his birthday before you even had the chance to hand him his present. He was sure the secret would eventually slip and you’d tell at least Nancy. But not even Nancy knew.

"Your little brother told me you made it pretty clear you had a boyfriend but never talked about him…" Eddie said walking to your bed and sitting on it as you followed him, stopping in front of him, bumping your knees against his.

"Of course he told you…" You chuckled, looking into his dark brown eyes, almost black as you brushed his cheek with your hand.

"He also said that I’m the best that has happened to you?" Eddie asked as you rolled your eyes playfully and he noticed the way your cheeks lit up. "He said, and I quote ‘She never talked about her boyfriend, but she only said he was the best that has happened to her‘ or something along those lines…"

"I-I mean, you know that already, Ed. How many times do I have to tell you that I love you more than anything for you to realize you’re the best thing to happen to me?" You said cupping his face, as you stared at him tenderly. Eddie closed his eyes slowly, humming, as you noticed a subtle blush on his cheeks.

"Hm, I love you too, sweetheart. So, so much, it’s stupid" he said, as you leaned down and kissed him sweetly "As soon as I’m out of here, I’ll catch up with you in Indianapolis, and we can forget about everything else…it’ll be just you and me, babe"

"I can’t wait, Eddie" You whispered.

"Fuck, me neither. I am seriously madly in love with you" He said as he pulled you closer, making you straddle him.

"Good. As you should" You replied with a cheeky grin and kissed him again.

[almanacrat]

Holier Than Thou (part 3)

Eddie Munson x femReader

Warnings: swearing, smoking

-

Y/n sat at the dingy cafeteria table, picking at the lunch on her plate. She sat in the far corner of the room with three other students who were particularly quiet as well. None of them ever talked to each other, they just accepted that each of them wanted to have lunch without interruption. 

Sometimes Y/n did want interruption though. She wanted to escape the cafeteria and go on an adventure when she should be in school, maybe drive a few towns over and cause some trouble where no one knew her name. She knew she would never do this. Not because she didn't want to, of course, but because of the fear of her father finding out. 

“Get up.” Eddie was standing over her, his usual smirk plastered onto his face.

“What?” Y/n questioned, but still stood up warily.

“Come on.” Eddie grabbed her backpack and slung his arm around her, leading her through the cafeteria. “You’re sitting with us today.” 

Eddie ushered Y/n to a table with two empty chairs, the rest filled by guys wearing Hellfire shirts. When Eddie approached with Y/n, they stared at her like she was from a different planet, which, to many of them, girls may as well have been from a different planet. 

“Gentlemen, this is Y/n. Y/n, this is the Hellfire Club.” Eddie announced with a grin, pulling out a chair for Y/n to sit in.

A chorus of “hi” and “hello” sounded throughout the table.

“Dude, I can't believe you got a girl to sit at our table.” A curly haired boy said, then continued to Y/n, “Hi, I’m Dustin Henderson.” 

“Nice to meet you, Dustin.” Y/n smiled back at him, unable to resist his cheerful nature. 

“Hey, you’re the preacher’s kid, right?” Another asked.

“Uh, yeah...” Y/n replied hesitantly. 

“The preacher’s kid at the Hellfire table. Who would've thought?” Another kid with dark hair added.

Y/n sat uncomfortably for a few seconds before Eddie started speaking again.

“Where were you this morning?” He asked. Y/n had been missing from their science class this morning due to an untimely car problem.

“My dad’s car wouldn't start so he made me stay behind to look at it.” 

“You’re into mechanics?”

“A little bit. I’m not an expert by any means, but I can work my way around a car. Did we get our grades back?” Y/n wondered as today they were supposed to receive the grades on their presentations. 

“I was just about to tell you about that.” Eddie spoke regretfully, making Y/n furrow her brows in confusion, her eyes going wide. “We didn't do very well.”

“What? But we did everything right. I mean, we followed the rubric to a T and-” Y/n started to ramble before Eddie cut her off.

“I’m kidding.” Eddie said before retrieving a piece of paper from his backpack “Boys, and girl,” Eddie added with a glance at Y/n, “Today is a day to remember. We got a 100 on our science project.”

-

Two weeks had passed since the day Eddie had decided Y/n would sit with him at his lunch table. Y/n and the Hellfire Club got acquainted with each other rather quickly, and although Y/n didn't understand DND, she would gladly sit through their nerdy ramblings. 

Y/n had been invited to sit in on one of the meetings today. If it had been any other group that invited Y/n, she would have said no without a second thought. Hellfire was different, though. 

Currently, Y/n, Eddie, and Gareth sat in the back of Eddie’s van. The three decided to hang out there after school as the campaign wasn't until 5:00. Y/n stared at the smoke coming out of Gareth’s mouth, entranced by the way the cloud of smoke billowed into the air. Y/n had never lived around people who smoked, only having seen her grandfather smoke one time. Gareth noticed her staring at the cigarette in his hand like a toddler staring at a new toy.

“Want a hit?” Gareth asked as he held the cigarette out for Y/n to take. 

“Sure.” Y/n murmured, reaching out to take it. Right before Y/n could take it, Eddie slapped her hand away.

“No. I’m not letting you smoke.” He declared, eyes fierce and serious. “Don't offer her a cigarette again.” 

“Sorry, dude.” Gareth replied, to which Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Let’s go. It’s almost five.” Eddie’s voice was grim. He walked away from the trailer with long, angry strides.

“Eddie.” Y/n called, trying to catch up with his large steps. “Eddie, he didn't- he wasn't-” 

“I don't care. He shouldn't have offered it to you.” Eddie continued angrily, not slowing down. 

“Why does it matter?” 

“Because I know you’d regret it tomorrow.” Eddie halted in the empty hallway, turning to face Y/n. 

“I might not regret it.” Y/n insisted.

“Yes you would. I know you, Y/n, better than you think I know you. You would wake up tomorrow morning and feel guilty as hell, and the you’d be freaked out all day.” Eddie crossed his arms. Y/n knew he was right. She knew she would feel guilty and scared when she saw her father’s face staring at her. Still, she was relentlessly tempted to try it. “Don't feel pressured to do something just because the people around you are doing it.”

“What if I want to do it?” 

“You don't want to, Y/n.”

“I want to know what it’s like.” Y/n replied, making Eddie pause. 

“Fine. If you still want to smoke in a month, I’ll let you do it. Deal?” Eddie stuck out his hand. 

“Deal.” 

-

Taglist: @mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes​ @slightlyalarmedskeleton @songsforthesaints​ @mymindsnothereanymore 

[shiggyscumrag]

How the MHA boys react to their chubby s/o wearing their clothes<3

I also plan on making a demon slayer and haikyuu version so look out for that hoessss

Midoriya Izuku

Dude he would flip, but like in a positive way-

He would get so flustered and immediately start muttering on and on about how pretty you look and try to poorly hide his embarrassment

He would find it really cute, plus he wears slightly bigger sized shirts so it wouldnt fit to tight on you

And even if it did he would find it absolutely adorable

You wearing one of his shirts that literally say "shirt" and a pair of his sweats to go along with it and it would be one of his new favorite things

He would ask if he could take a picture to save as his new homescreen deadass

He just cant get over how adorbale you look so of course hes gonna get all flustered and lovey dovey

10/10 would cuddle you for the rest of the night and not let you leave. Sleepover timeeeee

"What are you wearing?" He said as he stumbled across you in one of his shirts and sweats. You were bored and uncomfy in your jeans and tshirt so you decided it was a good idea to steal some of your boyfriends clothes to get more comfortable. Of course he was a little smaller in size then you but it would still work.

"I got uncomfortable and I thought you wouldn't mind if I borrowed some clothes to change into. I can change if you want-"

"No no no, you're okay! I mean I like you in my clothes, and I'm glad they make you comfortable! I just didnt know what you were doing and I was a little confused at first but you look really cute so I really don't mind at all, I swear! I was just a little startled-" you were interrupted by Izuku's rambling. He always did this when he was nervous. All you could really do is chuckle, and have your cheeks blush slightly at the compliments while getting comfy on his bed.

Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou thought it was a dumb idea at first, like he just didnt get it

Though after your persistent meddling he gave in and gave you one of his shirts

After you put it on and showed him he got all flustered and very horny

He felt weirdly proud about it, it was like a way of marking you as his and he liked that

And omg when you stole and wore a pair of his boxers, he fucking malfunctioned. Heres how the scenario would go in my head-

"Welcome back Katsuki!" You said cheerfully from further inside his dorm.

"Ah, what are you doing here shitty woman! I'm tired and want to go to bed-" he stopped mid sentence when he saw you laying on his bed in his boxers and his classic skull tshirt. He didnt realize how horny he had been but now the bulge in his pants was very prominent and uncomfortably tight.

"See something you like katsu?" You teased. You knew he had been stressed from interning lately and I mean so have you, so why not kill two birds with one stone?

"Hell yeah I do." He said crossing the room fast and finding your lips. A heated makeout session started, you had sat up and placed your hands on his chest starting to undo his tie and unbutton his uniform shirt. He pulled away and smirked grabbing you by the chin making you look at him.

"You're such a naughty girl." He pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift motion, hissing when the cool air hit his cock. "Now get to sucking slut." You smirked and went down to lick his slit, some pre hitting your taste buds making you mewl. You began to bob your head at a steady pace. He groaned as his head fell back, a hand falling behind your head guiding your movements.

"Such a good little slut for me. Got any panties under here?" He said snapping the elastic of his boxers, leaving a delicious sting on your hip. You hummed causing another groan to rip through his throat. He pulled you off his cock with a pop.

"Is that a yes or a no sweet cheeks?" He said dragging his thumb against your drool soaked lips

"No sir, I dont have any panties on." You say, eyes half lidded and full of lust.

"Good answer-" He started as he pinned you down on the bed and left a chaste kiss on your lips. "Cause I was gonna take em' off anyways."

Kirishima Eijiro

When you first ask if you could borrow a shirt and pants to wear to sleep in his dorm he gladly excepted

He found it to be quote on quote "the manliest thing ever"

He would feel bad that his clothes are tight on you so he buys a couple over sized ones and wears them to get them to smell like him and next time you come to trade out hoodies he gives you those in hopes it'll make you feel more comfy

He would def also steal your clothes

He would love to wear your hoodies around the dorm and flex about having them

He loves that you feel comfortable enough to wear his clothes and to also let him wear yours

It's a trust and comfort thing that he finds the most adorbale

It makes him feel so happy, you make him so happy<3

You heard a knock on your door. You got up from your bed and made your way to the door as whoever it was continued to knock. You opened it up to see a red head with sharp teeth grinning widely at you.

"Hey kiri!" You said wrapping your arms around his neck as you leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek. He wrapped one arm around your waist and chuckled at your kiss.

"I came by to swap hoodies again! Yours stopped smelling like you." He said with a pout on his lips.

"Ah its okay baby, I'll give you another one!" You said with a smile.

Todoroki Shouto

Shouto would be confused on why exactly you would want to wear his clothes when you have your own that are perfectly fine

But he would still find it oddly comforting and very cute

He didn't really know that was a thing that couples do, you know trading clothes

So you would steal his hoodies and you would give him yours to sleep in

Dude he would get so happy

He would put your hoodie on for the first time alone in his dorm after you dropped it off and gave him a kiss goodnight

So he puts it on and just feels so comfy and at home in a sense. He just feels so calm and at peace with the world

Plus when he realizes it smells like you he goes wild

Would sleep in it every night and every morning he would fold it neatly and place it on his pillow so that when he gets home after a long day of class and interning with his dad he can wear it straight out his shower and smell your scent and be able to go to sleep peacefully that night

He can only hope his hoodies make you feel the same way yours do to him

"I can have this?" He says holding out the hoodie of yours you just gave him to be able to wear, a stoic expression still painted on his face.

"Well yeah! I thought since you let me have yours that you could have mine!" You said with a smile. Shoto couldn't help the heat that started to flush his face. He never knew that this is what couples do. He just knew they cuddled, kissed, held hands, and went on dates. He didn't know you could exchange clothing as a form of affection, but when you asked to have one of his hoodies he did love the idea of you wearing them. Shoto liked it even more when he saw you around the dorm in them.

"Thank you y/n. I appreciate it greatly." He spoke.

"Of course roni!" You said leaning in and pecking his lips "Goodnight, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!" You said skipping towards the girls dorms.

"Goodnight. Sleep well." He said softly. You smiled and waved goodbye. Once you rounded the corner and he could no longer see you he entered his room now staring at the hoodie once again.

He pushed the hoodie over his head and put his arms through. He adjusted the material until he was comfortable. He looked in the mirror and stated to go red. He was wearing your hoodie. He started to get this euphoric feeling of relief. A sense of home is what he felt while wearing it. He tucked himself into bed and laid his head on his pillow when he got a sudden whiff of your scent. It smelled like you too. He felt even more comfy now. He went to sleep peacefully that night. It felt like he was going to sleep in your arms. It was amazing. He now wears it every night and when it doesnt smell like you anymore he asks for you to wear it to make it smell like you again. You have definitely created a monster-

Mezo Shoji

Shoji is a pretty big fella and because of his quirk his clothes are kinda unique

BUT his pants and boxers are normal and can fit you fairly well

I feel like he would also get over sized clothes to lounge in so he feels less restricted so that's a bonus for you

So now you steal his pants all the time when your too lazy to go to your dorm and change or if you haven't done laundry and your out of comfy clothes

Plus you steal his boxers to basically substitute them as spandex shorts

I feel like he wouldnt know that he would like seeing you in his clothes until he did and he would get really happy.

And he finds it incredibly sexy when you wear his boxers, like damn you finna get WRECK-

You have once again stolen one of Shojis pair of boxers to wear as spandex, cause their just so comfy! Your boyfriend was currently downstairs in the kitchen getting you guys snacks for your movie night in his dorm.

You had gotten one his boxers and hid your panties in your pants and folded them nicely over on the nightstand. He came in with his hands full of popcorn, candy, and drinks. Not the healthiest but for sure yummy!

"Here let me help bubs!" You say getting out from under the blanket and standing to help grab stuff from his hands. He stared down at your lower stomach, hips, and thighs seeing them covered in the print of one his boxers. He was used to you stealing his pants and boxers but their was something different this time. Something in him snapped. "You okay Shoji?" You asked placing your hands on his chest after already setting the drinks and candy down. Popcorn still in one hand he took the other and stroked your cheek.

"I'm okay love. I see you stole my boxers again." One of his arms finding its place to settle on your hip.

"Oh yeah I did. I didn't feel like running back all the way to my dorm just to change." You spoke "Is that okay?" You asked, a silent plead in your eyes for it to be okay with him.

"Yeah it's okay." He said bending down and nuzzling his cheek against yours. You hummed in contentment before speaking.

"I'll get the movie ready!" You said running over to his laptop on his desk across the room. Shoji saw your pants folded neatly on his night stand where he was gonna set the popcorn and drinks so they were easier to reach. He set down the popcorn on the bed and picked up your pants accidentally unfolding them and causing your panties to fall on the floor at his feet. A flush crossed Shojis face, a scorching heat firing through his body. This is the straw that broke the camel's back.

You couldn't figure out what movie you wanted to watch. You just scrolled and scrolled and scrolled through Netflix's recommended page finding absolutely nothing. Next thing you knew you felt Shojis hands wrap around you waist and his face right next to your ear.

"Shoji what are you-"

"No panties huh?" He interrupted.

That's all you needed to hear to know you were gonna have a long night filled with hours of unwatched watched movies and a bunch of screens saying "Are you still watching?"

Hanta Sero

He would praise the ever loving dog snot out of your bro

Dude he would praise you left and right, up and down, side to side which is basically the same thing as left to right but we wont talk about it

He absolutely loves it

He never knew he needed this until now and he is never going back

He loves how you look in his clothes so he would for sure start getting slightly oversized stuff so it will fit you more comfortably so you dont have an excuse not to wear his clothes

Even though he would be perfectly content if you only wore them in his dorm, he just wants you in his clothes now 24/7

He would also steal your clothes<3 and he would always say he likes how they smell like you AHHHHHHH

"Come on, do a little twirl for me!" Sero teased as he spun his finger around in a circle.

"Sero!" You said, you could feel your face growing hotter by the second. He loved when you got all hit and bothered by his praise so he always teases you.

"You just look so damn good~" he said as he snaked his arms around your waist. He leaned in making you eager and lean in as well. Just as your about to kiss he pulls away.

"Sero stop teasing!" You whisper shout, a bit of whine in your voice.

That's when he leaned down fully and gave you a kiss on your lips. You depended the kiss and started a full on make out session. His hands trailed down to your ass grabbing it firmly cause a gasp from you. He took that as a chance to slip his tongue in. After a couple minutes you both pulled away for air, slightly panting and a string of salvia connecting your lips.

"You look really cute in my clothes but I think they'd look cutest on the floor-"

[butwhyduh]

Getting tall

Summary: Damian finally hits his growth spurts and the fam have opinions. Some damijon, timkon, jaytemis, and dickori mentioned.

Damian was an adorable tiny murder baby when he first showed up at the manor. Like a feral kitten. Short end of normal growth at 10 years old and thin too, Dr Leslie found. Make sure he eats 3 square meals and snacks when he wants and he’ll be just fine. Alfred had made it his mission, as he had done for both Jason and Tim, to put weight on Damian.

The first family member he outgrew was Cass. She reached over to ruffle his hair only to reach up above her head rather than below it. She didn’t mind. 5’4 isn’t very tall. She’d just have to remember that the next time they spar. Height wasn’t an important factor to her.

It was a few months later that Damian hit a massive growth spurt and grew 4 inches. He passed by 5’6 Stephanie.

“Hey little dude. What are they puttin in your food, miracle grow?” She asked when she noted how tall he was and how big his feet had gotten. Damian was a bit like the giant puppies all gangly. Alfred was adjusting the Robin costume monthly after Damian rushed to put it on for patrol one day and every time he raised his arms he felt his stomach show. Clothes were constantly being bought that met his newest height increase. The Kents were very appreciative of the barely worn clothing Jon got as Damian went through another pair.

“I’m perfectly normal in growth,” he said pulling on the hem of his shirt that was growing shorter by the day. Stephanie eyed him but left it. Tim hated the height jokes they would make when everyone started passing him in height. Nowadays Tim just rolled his eyes and deferred all short jokes to Bart who Damian was now taller than. Bart didn’t care at all because he was short but he was also at least top 3 faster people ever so who cares right?

For a very short time, Damian was taller than Jon. He liked that. Jon thought it was pretty funny.

“D, I’m going to be taller. My dad and mom are both taller than yours. I’ll be taller in the end,” Jon said with a grin before Damian pushed him off the roof. Jon giggled and stared at Damian with obvious heart eyes. The kid was definitely smitten.

Tim was half an inch taller. He didn’t acknowledge it in any way. But it wasn’t surprising. His mother was tiny, his father lower end of average, and Tim probably skipped too many meals with working during an important growth phase while he was becoming Robin. 5’8.5 is a perfectly normal height for a man. He had an easier time with stealth.

Bruce watched as his son grew more handsome and taller everyday. He recognized things he hadn’t taken the time to see with Dick or Jason and had missed completely with Tim. Aftershave, cologne, and deodorant budget went up exponentially and Damian was barred from bringing any of his shoes in the house and his Robin uniform had to double washed occasionally. He spent far longer in the bathroom doing his hair and agonizing over any spot on his face.

Bruce even once caught Damian do the lean on the doorframe while talking to someone they like when Jon visited once. He had to give the worst birds and bees talk of all time. Bruce also noted how Damian had Talia’s nose and his lip curled the same way hers did when he smiled. He stretched when walking to the breakfast table the same way Dick did.

Damian didn’t get another true growth spurt for 2 years. There was plenty of jokes that he jumped up to his height and didn’t move again. Jon was once again taller than Damian. Alfred was ready this time with the massive amount of food the 15 year old could put away and panels in his costume for easier adjustments.

Talia smiled proudly at her son as he grew taller than her. He was turning out handsome like his father but kept her feature and in her mind, that was the perfect combo. She never told Damian because she didn’t him to grow arrogant.

Dick didn’t notice it right away. He was so busy with Bludhaven and the Titans that he didn’t notice Damian had gotten a full inch taller than him. He only realized when him and Damian practiced a complex move that required a taller and shorter partner while training. They paired up as they always did and the maneuver completely fell apart. Dick was mentally putting together why it failed when Damian walked over and it clicked. Little D was not so little anymore.

“You’re taller than me,” he said brightly. Damian immediately grinned.

“So now you’re little D,” Damian said back. Dick laughed at that one.

“Don’t let it go to your head. I can throw you around like a tilt-a-whirl,” Dick warned. Of course, that’s exactly what happened the next time they sparred when Damian tried to use his height advantage.

“I can beat Jason so don’t think you can beat me just by being bigger,” Dick said standing over Damian who rolled his eyes.

Dick had no problem with Damian getting taller. It was his own height he had a complicated relationship with. See, Dick grew up as an acrobat. Being tall is a disadvantage. More weight to swing, more body to move. And his father had told him growing up that almost every Grayson man has been 5’8. It’s a legacy as strong as flying above the circus crowd.

And so when at 15, Dick was very distraught with the fact that he hadn’t stopped growing at 5’8. It felt like a part of his history and family legacy had died. He wasn’t one of the 5’8 Grayson men. He never told anyone beside Kori, late at night where she told him she loved him tall or small. She had already far outpaced Dick and was on her way to being 6’4.

Duke and Alfred and Damian were the same height for a short while. Duke would joke that he could just wear the Robin’s costume since they were the same size. Damian would threaten to disembowel him if he touched it and that made Duke laugh even more.

When he grew taller Duke once again joked with Damian calling him a not so jolly green giant and Alfred considered his nutrition attempt a complete success. Damian went from a tiny kid to a tall strong young man.

Damian and Jon were practically the same size for a while. Jon barely bent his neck to rest his chin on Damian’s shoulder as his partner worked on a complex mechanical part. Then Jon hit another growth spurt to end in his final height of 6’2, same as Bruce and his father. Damian enjoyed having a taller boyfriend for a while but would never say anything. High school dances were nice.

Bruce could see Damian getting taller and stronger and was practically grown. Dr Leslie warned Bruce that growth could continue until Damian was in his early 20s and he could end up a quite tall young man or stop tomorrow.

Jason liked being the tallest and biggest in the family. He had an entire inch in height on Bruce and was at least 20 lbs heavier. He was built like tank. When Jason had died at 15, he was terrifyingly thin. Alfred had tried his best but Jason had suffered malnutrition and hunger from practically birth. He was short and thin and Dr Leslie had told Bruce he probably always would be. And so when Jason came back to life a giant 6’3 and over 200 lbs, it was a shock. It took him forever to accept his size as anything more than an amour to create fear in his enemies. The first time he had accidentally scared a woman walking in the street at night, Jason had hated that he was so big. But within his family, it had become a source of pride. He was certainly taller than Dick and Alfred and even Bruce.

So when he visited Cass’s birthday party and Jason stood next to Damian and realized that the kid was taller than him, he was a little shocked. Damian had reached his final height of 6’4.

“When the hell did you get so big?” Jason asked while cake was being served. Dick nosed in the conversation.

“Little D is taller than you now,” he said with a teasing grin at Jason.

“And yet you insist on calling me Little D,” Damian said with an eye roll.

“I call him Big D,” Jon said with a smile. Dick blanched and Jason coughed out an awkward laugh.

“Good for you, bro,” he said patting Damian on the back. Jon blushed at the sudden understanding.

“No! I mean- he’s taller than me. I didn’t mean- uh,” Jon stuttered. Damian grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him away from his brothers who were laughing.

“It’s weird you know,” Jason admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

“The fact that he is dating Jon?”

“No, they’ve been together forever. That he’s taller than me,” Jason said.

“Are you- does it bother you that you aren’t the tallest?” Dick asked with a gleeful smile.

“No,” Jason said abruptly.

“It could be like how I learned my little brother was bigger than me,” Dick teased. “All of a sudden you were just massive. My tiny little brother was this big dude. Good thing I’m comfortable with my masculinity.”

“Your girlfriend is like 6 inches taller than you. If that isn’t emasculating then there’s nothing I could do,” Jason answered.

“Yeah, she’s always been taller than me,” Dick said with a fond smile. “You can’t talk with the Amazon you’ve been hanging with.” He pushed Jason’s shoulder with a grin.

“We’re just friends-I guess,” Jason said uncomfortable. “That’s not the same-“

“Well at least Tim will always be our little brother,” Dick changed the subject but mentally noted Jason’s reaction to the mention of Artemis.

“Yeah, he’ll always be a shrimp,” Jason agreed.

“Honestly fuck you both,” Tim said from across the room. With Kon standing next to him he certainly looked tiny.

“Hey, it’s my birthday and I am the shortest and I can still kick all of your butts,” Cassandra reminded them both and they laughed but neither corrected her because they knew she was right.

[spencers-renaissance]

The Other Side of the Storm

Summary: Spencer & Luke are not out as a couple but have to attend the same FBI gala where a young, pretty agent insists on flirting with Luke. Misunderstandings and surprising reveals ensue.

Tags: relationship reveal, secret relationship, coming out, jealousy, caught, hurt/comfort, autistic spencer, angst with a happy ending, misunderstandings, found family, est. rel., cuddling & snuggling, domestic fluff

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 2.7k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Lets pretend I didn't just disappear for a couple of weeks bc I'm BACK now yay! This is written for a prompt from @ralvezhq who asked: "Ralvez is already dating but no one knows about them yet. they get invited to some sort of FBI gala and a young, accomplished female agent won’t stop flirting with luke and spencer is absolutely not having it so he finds a way to let everyone know they are together." -- I stuck to it except that they're caught rather than willingly confessing, I hope that's okay! I really enjoyed this one, so I hope you do as well.

!!!TW: the woman is very insistent on her flirting and makes Luke uncomfortable when she touches his chest without his consent!!!

“Any particular reason you keep looking over at that table full of Fugitive Task Force members, Spence?” JJ asks amusedly, sipping from her wine glass.

“Mm, I’ve noticed you looking over there a little bit,” Tara muses. “You got your eye on someone?”

Spencer looks down and forces a laugh, but he can feel the tips of his ears turning pink, and knows that he’s not gonna hear the end of this for the rest of the night. The team have never been fond of the FBI Galas they’re forced into attending every year, and unfortunately, Hotch’s usual stunt of pulling a non-urgent case from the stack and jetting off to some far-flung corner of the country to avoid it failed to fool the director this time.

He’d broken the news to them at the start of the week, and conversation in the bullpen has pretty much exclusively revolved around the event ever since. Even Penelope, who loves seeing people win awards and dressing up in her favourite full-glam outfits, has been significantly less upbeat. She only gave him one spontaneous hug all week.

None of them, though, have been dreading it more than Spencer. The others aren’t exactly fond of the faux smiles and convoluted politics and fake niceties either, sure, but tonight he has far more to lose than ever before. Namely, the man sat just out of his direct eye line at the Fugitive Task Force table.

Ironically, he and Luke had gotten ready for the same event together. They’d stood in the mirror side by side and tied one another’s ties in the way that always makes Spencer smile and Luke had gently brushed his hair out of eyes, but when it came time to leave, Spencer called a rideshare, and Luke drove the truck, arriving at completely different times in completely different vehicles.

The thing is, that as much as he loves his team, and as much as the FBI fraternisation policy has been significantly relaxed over the last few years, no one can know they’re together and have been for the last eight months.

Even the thought of Derek or Hotch or even JJ finding out — not only that he’s dating someone but that that person is a man — makes him feel queasy.

Which is why he smiles around an awkward cough and forces himself to meet the eyes of his profiler teammates, fighting every instinct in him to run, leg it out of here, never show your face again.

“No, I’m just looking at the clock above them,” he lies, and it isn’t smooth in any way shape or form but it’ll have to do. “You know I can’t wait for this to end. I haven’t read any Carl Jung in weeks.”

Tara laughs, raising her wine glass slightly. “Now that I understand.”

“Nah, I’m not so sure,” Derek grins slyly, “I think my man has his eye on some girl and he’s just getting a little shy, am I right, pretty boy?” He quirks an eyebrow playfully, leaning over to pat him on the back, and Spencer scrambles to recover.

“Believe whatever you’d like, Morgan,” he says, bringing his own glass to his lips to conceal any tells in his expression. “Doesn’t make it any less false.”

Thankfully, the conversation is interrupted by the Director clearing his throat into the mic on the stage as he introduces the next round of awards. Spencer loses himself in the anonymity of a dark room and a clapping audience, grateful that he’s avoided this round of interrogation.

The rest of the night progresses similarly. Spencer tries to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table — and valiantly attempts to keep from blushing like a schoolgirl when their eyes meet and Luke’s lips quirk upwards in an I-tried-to-stop-it-but-I-just-can’t kind of smile — and the rest of his team rib him pretty relentlessly about this ‘girl’ he supposedly has his eye on.

Hotch tries to get the team to leave him alone, but when a group of skilled, determined profilers all a little tipsy on wine and champagne encounter a friend’s mysterious love life, it’s pretty difficult to stand in their way.

Once dessert is served, though, things rapidly go downhill.

As much as he’s been trying to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table, it’s almost impossible to prevent his gaze from straying in a temporary moment of cognitive lapse every now and then, and while everyone is relatively quiet and occupied, digging into the Belgian waffle dessert, it happens once again. This time, though, instead of a small smile from Luke, he’s rewarded with the frankly heart-stopping sight of a young, pretty agent practically sitting in his lap, trying to feed him dessert.

He looks uncomfortable, and immediately Spencer is hit with an overwhelming wave of insecurity, jealousy, and an urge to protect that strangles his breath for a moment. He stares unabashedly, no longer caring whether anyone sees him because that’s his boyfriend and an extremely pretty woman is all over him and he looks like he wants her to stop, and oh my god, what does he do?

“Is that the girl you like all over that dude?” Derek asks sympathetically, catching onto Spencer’s staring. “It’s alright, man, if she’d choose someone else over you then she’s not right for you anyway. Why don’t you come and enjoy your dessert?”

Spencer senses the rest of the team’s eyes on him, but they don’t say anything, probably from a combination of pity, awkwardness, and confidence in Derek to counsel him through it. He’s hardly cognisant of that, though, instead a roar of emotion crashing through his mind, and he has no idea what to do about it.

When he sees a perfectly manicured hand land directly on Luke’s chest, though; when he sees Luke reject her more firmly, this time pushing her away; when he watches as she clearly gears herself up for some sad protest of self-victimisation, he sees red.

Before he can stop himself, he’s storming across the room over to Luke’s table. “Hi,” he says firmly, audibly pissed off and not in the mood for bullshit, “do you mind if I borrow my friend here? I have some official FBI business to discuss with him. Thanks.”

Without waiting for a response, he grabs Luke’s arm and leads him to the corridor outside the main hall, Luke following quickly and willingly behind him.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asks with his brow furrowed, his hand coming up to gently rest on Luke’s waist as he peers at him concernedly through the dim lighting of the hallway.

“Yes, baby, I’m fine,” Luke smiles reassuringly, raising a hand to Spencer’s face. “I’m sorry you had to see that. She was… persistent.”

“She shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable like that,” Spencer insists, still feeling distressed and anxious despite the immediate situation having been diffused.

“You’re right,” Luke agrees. “And she should’ve listened to me when I told her I was taken. I’m sorry you had to see someone flirting with me so openly like that, carinõ, I know you still get insecure about things like that.”

Spencer sighs, relaxing slowly the more he hears Luke’s voice as steady and strong and kind as it always is. He steps forward and buries his face in Luke’s neck as he nestles in close for a comforting hug.

“You know I only have eyes for you, right, sweetheart?” Luke whispers softly, one arm holding his waist and another tangling itself in Spencer’s loose curls.

He nods into Luke’s neck, but doesn’t make any move to pull away, just enjoying the warmth and closeness of standing so intimately with the man he loves until—

“Spencer!” Derek’s voice pulls him violently from his sweet escape from reality and horror instantly floods him as he jerks away from Luke, staring at Derek in a nauseating mixture of alarm and trepidation.

“What…” Derek stares right back at him as both JJ and Tara come tumbling through the doors behind him, looking ready for a fight—

Oh. That makes sense. They all saw him storming towards a woman they thought he had a crush on, then pull the man she was flirting with out into the most secluded corridor surrounding the hall. Even considering Spencer’s character, he has to admit that the circumstances definitely look like he was gearing up for a fight, and everyone knows that he is not the kind of person who could hold his own against an ex-military man who chases down criminals for a living.

“You’re… not fighting him,” Derek says hesitantly, the puzzle pieces clearly falling into place for him.

Spencer shakes his head minutely, and is only thankful when Luke inches closer and wraps an arm around him. After all, he has nothing more to lose.

“You were looking at him, not her,” Derek continues slowly.

Spencer nods, unable to meet the eyes of any of the three friends standing in front of him.

“You’re dating him,” he says, still sounding shocked, his voice almost entirely numb. “You’re gay.”

“Or bisexual,” Tara offers, and Spencer takes a little comfort in the fact that she doesn’t sound shocked or upset, her voice warm and helpful. He tries to meet her eye, but he can’t work up the courage and buries closer into Luke’s embrace instead.

“Gay,” he whispers.

“Spence,” JJ says quietly, earnestly, “why didn’t you tell us?”

It’s too much to go into right now, too convoluted and long of a story for him to explain when even choking out a single syllable takes a herculean effort, so he shrugs instead.

“We were talking all night assuming you were interested in a woman,” Derek says numbly, more to himself than anything, but Spencer watches out of the corner of his eye as he shakes off the shock and comes back to himself, slowly putting more of the puzzle together as he looks at Spencer. “That’s why you didn’t tell us. We’ve been making assumptions all this time and hurting you in the process.”

“Oh, Spence,” JJ whispers sadly, stepping a little closer.

“I’m so sorry, pretty boy, I— I should’ve known or tried to be more inclusive at least, I’m so sorry I made you feel like this.”

The regret in his friends’ voices and the absence of a negative reaction brings him out of the safety of Luke’s arms slightly. His boyfriend is eyeing him with serious concern, and he tries a smile to reassure him a little, squeezing his hand.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he manages, clearing his throat awkwardly as he finally succeeds in making eye contact. “It’s a long story and I’ll tell you another time, but, uh​​— this is Luke. We’ve been together for eight months, two weeks, and four days.”

Luke smiles fondly. “As much as we didn’t expect to reveal it like this, it’s nice to meet all of you properly,” Luke says warmly, shaking everyone’s hands quickly before stepping back to Spencer and interlocking their fingers, pressing a quick but meaningful kiss to his temple.

“I’m really glad you felt able to share this with us, Spence,” Tara says encouragingly, smiling at him in that bright, reassuring way of hers that rivals Penelope in the warmth and comfort it radiates. “I’m proud of you.”

Something about her reaction this entire time has him wondering whether she already knew. He’ll ask her later when he feels less like his heart is still firmly lodged in his throat.

“Me too, kid,” Derek agrees, smiling as well. Spencer wonders whether the initial shock and numb reaction was more a response to his own behaviour than anything about him and Luke, and the thought makes him feel substantially better.

JJ grins, stepping forward and grabbing Spencer’s other hand. “Me three.”

Before anyone can say anything else, the doors are opening again and Penelope is flying through them.

“Oh! Thank god you’re all okay! You just ran off after Spencer and I left you guys to it because I thought you could handle it better than I could but then you didn’t come back and even Hotch was worried, and—” she cuts herself off as she realises everyone staring at her, and slowly she takes in the scene around her. “Oh my god, I’ve missed something. Oh my god, I missed a moment, didn’t I? What have I told you guys about having moments without me? Someone tell me what happened, please, before I explode—”

“Alright, Penelope,” Spencer chuckles, interrupting her. He’s known her for too long to expect her to cut herself off when she’s on a tirade like that. “Uh, this is Luke. My boyfriend.”

“Your… your boyfriend? Oh my god, I finally get to meet him? Wait you told the others? Oh my god I’ve missed so much!”

“Penelope knew?” Derek asks, surprised.

“Half of mine and Spencer’s mutual friends are FBI Agents, and the other half are drag queens, of course I knew,” Penelope dismisses him, “but he wasn’t ready for me to meet his boyfriend yet or even know his name and I very nicely did not go hunting to find him out because I could’ve done that, but I didn’t, because I value you so much as a friend, Spencer, and I’m so glad you finally—”

“Penelope!” Spencer interjects, laughing even more as the tension and distress he’d felt only minutes ago finally melts away fully. “Do you actually want to introduce yourself to Luke, or do you want to keep rambling about drag queens?”

“Right! Yes!” she says eagerly, turning to Luke. “I’m Penelope and it is so nice to meet you, like you don’t even know how much I’ve wanted to meet the man who has my blueberry muffin blushing bright pink in the corner of my batcave while he texts on the phone, and I know you call him carinõ because I saw a text once and it’s the sweetest nickname ever, you are just the cutest, and we are going to be best friends—”

Spencer rests his head on Luke’s shoulder as he listens fondly to Penelope rambling and his friends chatting amongst themselves and everyone getting to know the most important man in his life — the only man he’s ever wanted anything long term with, the only man he’s ever wanted to actually marry one day — and a warm, sweet feeling of contentment floods his chest.

It’s far from the way he thought he’d feel after the team found about Luke, and he savours it, holds it in his mouth for as long as he can before swallowing the memory and filing it away to treasure forever. A moment like this deserves that kind of reverence.

“How are you feeling about tonight?” Luke asks gently as they crawl into bed, tired but happy at gone 2am. He pulls Spencer into his side as soon as they’re under the duvet, resting his chin on his head as he always does.

Moments like these make Spencer smile, the kind of familiar routine that’s so essential to their relationship. Luke had figured out early on that close physical contact and firm touches make him feel safe and settle his racing mind, so they’d worked out positions that made them both feel comfortable, and now relaxing into them is second nature.

“A bit weird,” Spencer admits after thinking for a moment. “I’m happy that they know now and everyone took it well, but it’s strange. A significant part of who I am has been not only that I’m gay, but the dedication I felt to protecting that secret. And now that it’s out, it feels like something private has been bared for my friends to inspect.”

“I think that’s only natural,” Luke muses quietly, pressing a kiss to Spencer’s curls. “It’ll take some getting used to, but you’ll adjust eventually.”

Spencer sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. After I tackle telling Hotch and Rossi, it’ll be nice not to have to hide it. I’ll be able to talk about you at work and maybe even go crazy and put a photo of you on my desk.”

“Wow, that is wild, check you out,” Luke chuckles, before they settle into a comfortable silence in the warm glow of their bedroom. Eventually, he speaks up though, quiet and reverent. “I’m proud of you, carinõ. I really am.”

The words instantly make Spencer smile, a light blush tinging his ears again. He hides his face in Luke’s chest, scooching impossibly closer into his arms. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too, Spencer,” Luke replies, a happy sigh in his voice.

He reaches over and turns off the bedside lamp. His hand returns to Spencer’s hair and something clicks into place somewhere, a fundamental alignment of the universe that brings a feeling of something so incredibly right as their breathing rhythmically matches to one another and they slide into the welcome embrace of sleep.

I hope you enjoyed that! I had a lot of fun with this one. If anyone has any more ralvez relationship reveal prompts, feel free to send them my way!

Taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @reidology @spencerspecifics @tobias-hankel @marsjareau @hotchscotchh @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @thataveragenerd @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @ropoto @cmily @nudgerox @love-pyramus @notevanbuckley @downwiththedoorpoole @nomajdetective (Add yourself to my taglist here!)

[redrobin-detective]

The late Daniel Fenton

It was shaping up to be a beautiful if chilly December day and Casper High, as always, was bustling. It was 7:49 and class was about to start. The teacher watched the last few kids stumbling in at various levels of wakefulness. He already knew who would be the ones to rush in after the bell but that was alright. Life was too short to stress about being a few minutes late to class, especially in Amity Park of all places.

He looked up to see Madison, one of his shyer students walk in before making a beeline for his desk. She was biting her lip and nervously rubbing her hand down her skirt. “Hey,” she began quietly.

“Good morning. What’s up, Mads?” He asked casually. She looked upset, he could probably put on a video for the class if she needed to talk. They really needed a permanent counselor but the constant ghost attacks ran off most of them so he’d taken up the unofficial mantle. It felt good to help his students like that, make up for past wrongs.

“Are we um, expecting any new students?” She asked, her eyes darting over to the door she’d just come through. “Any transfers, exchange students or anything like that?”

“No,” the teacher frowned. “Amity isn’t the kind of place people transfer into. Why?”

“There’s a kid in the hallway,” she mumbled. “I don’t recognize him, he’s got a backpack and everything but he’s... I don’t know he doesn’t feel right.”

“Oh you’re talking about that weird dark haired kid,” Kyle said as he entered and sat down with a slouch. But even the class slacker looked unusually tense. “Dude’s creepy, can’t put my finger on why but he definitely doesn’t belong.”

“Oh,” was all the teacher had to say. Suddenly he realized how cold the classroom had become, the uncomfortable feeling that was pressing ever so slightly down on them. “I suppose it makes sense, the ghosts have been quiet lately with the Truce and all. He probably got bored.”

“Sir?” Madison said.

“Shannon,” he said instead, looking over at the frizzy haired girl hunched over her sketchbook furiously at work. “Would you do me a favor and move to the vacant seat in the second row? Just for today.”

“What? Why?” the girl whined even as she gathered up her various arts supplies and got ready to move.

“That’s Mr. Fenton’s seat,” he said taking in a deep breath and closing his eyes in preparation for what he was about to see. Danny would come here, of course he would. This was Lancer’s old classroom and Danny had him for first period English Lit. He and Dash both did.

“Mr. Baxter? What’s going on, is it a ghost?” Malik asked from the back row while Shannon shuffled to her new temporary seat.

“Yes but you don’t need to be scared,” he said softly, evenly. “He won’t hurt you.” The bell rang but Dash didn’t start the lesson. Instead, he waited. Danny had never been on time to class the entire time Dash had known him, of course death wouldn’t change that.

“Sorry, I’m late Mr. Lancer,” Dash gripped his desk so he didn’t jump when Danny Fenton simply appeared in front of his desk instead of walking through the door like any other student. “My folks couldn’t drive me, they’re still working on their stupid ghost portal.” A quick glance over at this class showed varying levels of fear, shock and curiosity but they were Amity kids through and through. The cold, powerful energy radiating off Fenton told them it was best to play along with whatever the ghost wanted.

“Perfectly alright Mr. Fenton,” Dash said softly, searching the 14 year old’s perpetually young face. He hadn’t changed a bit since Dash last saw him their second week of freshman year. It seemed unreal seeing how the years had taken their toll on Casper’s favorite son, Dash Baxter. God had they really been that young once? “Take a seat and we’ll get started.”

Danny shrugged and walked over to the seat Shannon had just vacated. He sat just the same, one leg stretched out and the other propped up against the leg of the desk. As soon as he took off the backpack and put it around the chair, it disappeared. He didn’t say anything else, just sat as stared at Dash with piercing blue eyes like he could see right through him.

“We had been talking about the lead up to the Civil War but let’s table that for today,” Dash said, proud his voice only wavered a little. He knew other people had seen Fenton around town. Lina saw him standing outside the Nasty Burger maybe five or so years ago. Dale, who used to live near Fenton Works swore he sometimes saw someone moving through the windows of the long abandoned house. He’d always secretly dreaded the thought of seeing Danny Fenton again, afraid he’d finally get was coming to him.

“Instead, we’re going to talk about local history,” he continued, not daring to take his eyes off the undead teen. Every other living student was tense, afraid. He wished he could assure them that the ghost wouldn’t lay a hand on them. In the event Fenton decided to ditch the hero schtick, it would be Dash and Dash alone he’d come after. “Amity Park has long had rumors of being haunted dating all the way back to the 1600s. It wasn’t until the last century that scientists determined that Amity Park is located on top of a thin spot between our world and the ghost realm. Natural portals form here all the time allowing spirits to pass through.”

No one spoke and barely anyone breathed except for Danny would wasn’t breathing at all. He just sat and stared at Dash with steady, unblinking eyes.

“Jack and Maddie Fenton were the scientists who discovered the weak point in reality in Amity. They devoted their entire life to the study of ghosts and made remarkable advancements in our knowledge of ectobiology and culture, the first being,” he paused as Danny cocked his head in confusion, squinting his eyes suspiciously at Dash. “The first being their manmade portal to the ghost zone. The portal remained active for almost two decades for research purposes but was shut down following their deaths.”

“You’re not Mr. Lancer,” Danny said suddenly, his eyes shifting from baby blue to an ectoplasmic green. Marty, who was sitting to the left of Danny, swallowed a squeak of fear and squeezed his eyes shut.

“No,” Dash sighed, “Lancer died almost thirty years ago now. Best teacher I ever had, he gave me his blessing when he passed on the job to me.”

“I,” the ghost ran his hand through his hair which was starting to lose its color. Seeing Fenton looking so scared and confused made him ache. It reminded him of old times. Dash had spent most of his life making sure he helped hurt kids if only to make up for the one he’d never been able to make it up to. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s okay, Danny,” he soothed. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

“The portal, it wasn’t working at first,” Danny justified, his aura glowing a little more. “Sam and Tuck, they were curious. They wanted to look but I told them it wasn’t allowed, Sam, Sam she dared me to go in. I put on the hazmat suit and went inside and found the on button inside. I accidentally hit it and-” he paused midsentence and looked down at his hands. They weren’t pale flesh anymore but covered in white gloves. The black was completely bleached from his hair. A few of the students gasped as they saw the strange would be student melt into Phantom, the ghostly hero who’d been protecting their town since their parents were young. “I died.”

So much time had gone by. People were born and people were buried and the truth became distorted until it was just a legend passed jokingly around cafeteria lunch tables. Amity’s youth had forgotten their town’s history until it was sitting in a desk, trying once more to be one of them.

“You did,” Dash said sadly. He remembered hearing the news of Fenton's death. An assembly had been called the morning after the accident. Lancer had cried at the podium, Manson and Foley hadn’t returned to school for a week and had never been the same again. Dash hadn’t known what to think at the time, only that the kid he’d beat up for the crime of being different would never show up to school again. Or so he’d thought. “It was a tragedy, you were mourned by a lot of people.”

“I know you, don’t I?” Danny said quietly before he sat up straighter. “Dash?”

“In the flesh,” Dash grinned shakily.

“But you’re so old,” Danny said, once more distressed. “Your hair is grey and there’s wrinkles on your face and-and you’re a teacher now?” The last line was said with incredulity, his eyes flaring again. “You used to push me down the stone steps of the school and shove me into my locker and call me names.”

“Yeah, I did,” he sighed, feeling every one of his years. He was pushing 70 but he didn’t think he’d ever stop feeling like a stupid 14 year old who took out his frustrations on the ones who didn’t deserve it. “But you were the last; I never touched another kid again. I’m married now, four kids. I’m vice principal now, teach History and coach the school’s football team. It’s,” his voice caught again, still unable to process how young and stupid Fenton looked sitting there like no time had passed at all. It made Dash feel like all his accomplishments and attempts to be better would never amount to anything so long as his last victim roamed the earth unable to find peace. “It doesn’t fix what I did back then but I make damn sure that there won’t be any bullying at Casper so long as I’m here.”

“Huh,” Danny said, slouching once more in his seat but it looked less like his earlier teenage laziness and more weary. He and Dash were the same age after all, just because only one of them got old doesn’t mean time didn’t still affect them. “You did change, a lot of things did.” Danny looked down at the desk, “how long has it been?”

“Almost 50 years,” Dash sighed. “My wife wants me to retire but I guess I always find more things to do.” He paused then decided it was now or never. “I’m sorry Danny, for hurting you back then. I wish I'd gotten to know you better.”

For just a moment, Danny was perfectly clear. Even half floating out of his chair and looking like the local celebrity, his eyes were so painfully human. A boy killed before he ever got a chance to get started. Who’s will to protect was so strong it lasted half a century. It haunted him late at night to think of the glory and power of Phantom overshadowing just how incredible Danny Fenton had been. Not that anyone had seen it at the time. Soon there wouldn’t be anyone left to remember that quiet, kind teenager and then Danny Fenton really would be dead. Kill him just as thoroughly as that portal had.

The moment was broken by a breath of cold leaking out of the ghost’s lips and, just like that, his highschool classmate was gone and Phantom was left in his stead. He looked curiously around the classroom as if he didn’t know how he’d gotten there.

“There’s a ghost, stay here and don’t leave unless the fighting gets too close. I’ll get it though, don’t worry. No kids are dying today.” Maybe it was Dash’s imagination but he thought he saw Phantom’s eyes linger on him for an extra moment, trying to place where he knew the teacher from. Dash just smiled.

“Our lives are in your hands. Good luck, Phantom,” the ghost teen saluted before fading away entirely. Dash let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, suddenly exhausted but also lighter at the same time. It wasn’t every day you got to look your mistakes in the face and apologize. “Shannon, you can move back now.”

“No, I’m okay here,” Shannon said as she flipped to a new page in her sketchbook and looked intently at the spot where Fenton had once sat. “It’s like you said, that’s Danny’s seat.”

“I had no idea, Phantom’s been around for like, ever,” Freddie mumbled, pushing up his glasses. “But he used to be just like us.” And still was, Dash thought sadly. Danny would never grow old, never go to space like he’d always dreamed or marry Manson like he’d probably intended to. He was stuck, in more ways than one for who knows how long.

“Yes, that’s why it’s important to know your history. The Civil War and my other lessons are important but we can’t forget these smaller, more intimate histories. If we lose these lessons to time then we risk repeating the same mistakes over again.” He looked his students in the eyes, holding their attention.

“So we’ll continue today with the local history. Before he was ghost butt kicking superhero, Phantom was Danny Fenton, son of the local ghost hunters and a bit of an outcast in town. The Daniel Fenton Foundation was founded about a year after his death and was-”

[mentalpolaroids]

Smoke The Pain Away

JJ Maybank x female!Reader

Summary: (Y/N) finally breaks down after pushing her emotions away for so long, worrying the Pogues, specially a certain blonde boy, who comforts her lovingly under a sunset and feelings are shared. 

Warnings: mentions of physical and mental abuse, mentions of anxiety, smoking

I was laying on my side on the hammock in John B's backyard, facing the water, the sun reflecting on the tiny waves working as a cure to my anxiety.

Another day, another useless fight with my mother, resulting in her reminding me how much of a disappointment and a failure I am and in me storming out, making sure to hit the front door hard, and taking refuge at the chateau. I've been bottling up all this bullshit for years, ever since my dad left us. I hated him for leaving me behind but at the same time I understood why he left: he was as mentally drained as I was because of my mom. I just wish that, at the time, I had enough courage to face the woman and beg my dad to take me with him.

The Pogues knew about it, and they knew I didn't live in a normal mother-daughter environment, but they didn't know about the fights, the psychological abuse, the panic attacks and how many times I thought about running away, leaving everything and everyone behind and starting a new life somewhere else. To be honest, my four best friends were the only thing keeping me from doing it. They meant too much to me for me to just leave them and I knew I wouldn't be able to keep myself together without them around. Despite all of this, I was still able to wear a smile everyday, crack up jokes and live as if everything was ok. I was good at lying and pretending, it was a coping mechanism I developed and it saved me many, many times. But, just like everything in this world, there's so much you can take and lately I've been finding it harder and harder to hide my anxiety and bad thoughts. I was afraid I was reaching my breaking point and the thought of any of my friends witnessing it terrified me more than actually breaking down, because that means I would have to explain to them what the hell was going on and I hated talking about my feelings. It was something I had in common with JJ and, call me a hypocrite, but I hated when he did it. To be fair, the difference was that he didn't talk about it even knowing damn well that everyone knew what happened in his house. In my case, what happened in my house was kept a secret, so, what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

But it was hurting me and JJ noticed. I could hear Kie's hushed voice telling JJ to just leave me alone for a while and that I would reach out to them when I felt like it. Honestly, she wasn't wrong.

"Dude, she didn't even say hi when she arrived, she went straight to the hammock. Just let her be, she'll talk to us when she's ready.", John B argued back, taking Kie's side.

"Yeah, I've never seen her like this, it's better if we take it easy.", Pope added.

JJ once again ignored Kie and gently laid next to me on the hammock.

But JJ was stubborn, another thing we had in common, and his footsteps on the grass made me wipe away a tear that ran past my nose.

"Dude!"

The thing about JJ and I is that we weren't sure what our relationship was. We were best friends, closer than the rest of the Pogues, but we both knew there was something more between us. A previous kegger led to spilling drunken words that were actually reminded the next morning. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't uncomfortable, but it sure wasn't like before. We weren't certain what it was, but we knew we loved each other unconditionally and we cared about each other deeply. Our lack of affection was a myth when the subject was us.

I heard the door to the chateau being closed behind me, so I assumed John B, Pope and Kiara had gone inside and I sighted in relief.

"(y/n)?", his voice was the most gentle I've ever heard and I almost didn't recognise it.

I couldn't find the strength to speak so I just hummed in response.

"What's wrong?"

And that simple question was all it took for my bottled emotions to spill. One tear was followed by another until the light breeze started to feel cold against my wet face. When it became harder to hold my crying, I had to cover my mouth with my hand to make the sobs as silent as possible, acting like JJ hadn't already noticed.

One of JJ's arms went under my neck, the other over my waist and my body was pulled closer against his, his chest pressed to my back and his head against my shaking shoulder.

I guess this would have to happen at some point and I was really glad it was with JJ. He understood that all I needed at that moment was somebody to hold me silently, but protectively, and not bombard me with questions.

My sobs eventually died down and my breathing began to stabilize after a few minutes of intense crying. The pain was still there but I felt so much lighter than before. During the turmoil that was my head I didn't even realize how tight JJ was holding me, or how he held my hand that was covering my mouth before, or how he kept kissing my shoulder.

"You wanna talk about it?", he asked, after making sure I was relaxed enough and that I wouldn't break down again.

"Not yet."

He removed the joint from his mouth and held it above mine, inviting me to share it. It's not like I never smoked before, some of my best nights were actually spent with JJ, on that same hammock, contemplating the moon, telling stories, laughing and sharing a joint. I guess I just smoked for different purposes than JJ and in that moment I wasn't really feeling it.

We stayed in silence for a while, his embrace as tight as before and my body more relaxed than ever from being in his arms. JJ interrupted the caressing of his fingertips on my arm to reach behind him. I adjusted myself when he brought the arm that was under my neck closer to him and that's when I saw the joint in between his lips being lighted up. I smiled weakly in amusement at my best friend. Everything and anything was a reason to smoke.

"Really?", my voice was laced with humor as I watched the smoke escape from his parted lips, my eyes lasting longer than needed on them.

"What? It's not just for me."

"Come on, smoke the pain away baby." he said, staring deeply into my eyes, as in asking me to trust him.

"It doesn't work like that."

"To me it does.", he smiled.

I shook my head, holding back a laugh and let him position the joint between my lips, his fingers softly resting above them. Something about that gesture made my insides turn in excitement.

I blew out the smoke, admiring how it danced with the breeze until it disappeared and, closing my eyes, I allowed my body to fully give in to the effects of the weed.

JJ and I kept on passing the joint to each other, his body still pressed against mine and his hand was back to holding mine. When his lips weren't blowing out smoke, they were in switching places between my shoulder, my forehead and even my cheek, making it harder and harder to control the tingles running through my body and I was glad the daylight was dimming down to cover my red cheeks.

In less than an hour I went from crying my mind out to laughing like a lunatic. JJ was right about smoking the pain away. Even if after a night of sleep I would feel anxious all over again, I didn't care, I had my best friend right next to me and I knew I could count on him, to either hold me and console me or distract me and get me high.

Our laughing died down a bit and, after taking a drag and releasing the smoke one more time, I finally opened up. I told him everything that had been going on, how I couldn't stand living under the same roof as the woman who gave birth to me and I just wanted to make everything stop, one way or another. It felt good to finally let my thoughts out and stop pretending about my life, and I honestly felt kinda bad for being afraid of sharing that side of me, especially with JJ. It's not like he, out of all people, would judge me or push me away because of my home situation, and deep down I knew the other Pogues would never do that either, but anxiety has a way to trick you sometimes and make you believe in fake bad scenarios.

"I'm so sorry (y/n). You don't deserve that."

"Yeah, well, not everybody gets what they really deserve, do they?"

"I just wish you told me sooner, I can't believe you've been dealing with all of this by yourself for so long."

I didn't respond, I just turned on my side to face him and gave him a weak smile, letting my arm rest over his neck to play with his hair.

"What do you say about running away together?", I asked that in a joking tone but in the back of my head I didn't discard that possibility completely. I knew he thought about it sometimes too so it wasn't such a crazy idea, right?

"It's a deal. We get that gold and we're out of here.", his answer held the same joking tone but, the way he was looking at me, made me believe that he was also considering it.

We held each other's gaze for what felt like hours until the light on the porch of the chateau took us out of our trance.

"You guys hungry?", John B's voice echoed from the porch.

"Yup! We'll be right in.", JJ answered with his head turned in JB's direction, who went back inside.

"Ready to go inside?", the blonde asked me, his grip on me stating the opposite of his question.

"Yeah, I guess."

Another round of silence settled around us, my eyes not bothering to look away from his. I moved my hand from his hair to his jaw and, as if guessing what was on my mind, JJ pulled me impossibly closer to his chest, his hands running along my back in the most gentle way. Now that I had opened up to him, I felt like I could tell him anything and just be a hundred percent transparent around him, so, with a final deep breath, I decided to just lay it all out there.

"Can I kiss you?"

He smiled so widely that it almost made me laugh at how adorable and innocent he looked.

"You don't even have to ask."

And so I did it. I kissed him, showing him everything that was on my mind, not only my feelings for him but also how much I trusted him and how I was no longer afraid of opening up, at least to him. That's how safe he made me feel, he made me feel brave enough to fight my bad thoughts. All of that gave me strength to confront my mom. I had no idea what would happen from then on, but JJ showed me it was worth trying and that it was ok to cry once in a while and that I didn't have to deal with all of it on my own, an advise we gave to each other but never put in action when it came to our own situation. I guess we would have to learn that together.

__________

Sorry for the sh*tty ending, ran out of motivation 😅 Hope you stick around to read more!

[s-brant]

The Endless Summer (2/?)

(gif: @beccs) (PART ONE) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: A day out on the water goes awry and puts JJ, John B, and Y/N in danger. With tensions rising and the stakes higher than ever, JJ finds it difficult to control his feelings.

Word Count: 9.1k

Warnings: Angst, implied sexual content, strong language, graphic violence, and JJ being an emotionally confused asshat.

A/N: Welcome back! Thanks for the love on this series, I’m so glad you guys like it and I hope this part is just as good. Things get a little heated in this chapter, so buckle up. Let me know if you enjoyed this. Have fun!

JJ isn't sure why she did it.

He wasn't sure then and he isn't sure now, but he knows one thing for certain: there isn't any going back to how things once were now that the barrier between them came crashing down.

Sweat drips off of his skin from the relentless heat of the Caribbean that has made their recent lives hell with the painful tinge of sunburn atop their tans and heat exhaustion they must be careful to avoid at all costs. They were educated on both topics by Pope, their godsend of a survival encyclopedia in human form, who advised them to spend most of their day outside of necessary tasks like fishing and constructing stable shelter under the shady cover of the treetops.

The sole reason he and John B aren't hiding in the safety of the shade is that it's their day to fish, but he's not thinking about the sun. In fact, neither of them is. They're both wondering where their third fishing buddy is.

It took roughly ten minutes of spearfishing with him in comfortable silence for JJ to finally break and spill his guts about what happened last night. Though there was an unspoken agreement to never tell anyone that their hatred has turned into desire, he couldn't help it. He was going mad trying to unravel it in his head.

After all, he already had a conversation with JB about the recent shift in their behavior with each other by the ocean last night, so it seems fitting to pick up where they left off with the calm and clear blue water in front of them again.

He walks on the jagged outcropping of rock that serves as their perch to observe the fish without disturbing the pattern of the current they swim through with John B closely behind.

"One second she's pissed at me, the next she's all over me. It makes no sense. Then, she didn’t say anything to me after it happened," JJ says with his face hardened into a look of concentration at the fish he squints against the sun to aim at, "Not even "Fuck you, Maybank" or one of her weirdly creative threats. She just sat there all night and talked to everyone but me."

His gaze slips away from the water as his chosen fish disappears from sight before he can bother to throw the spear, eyeing up his friend's reaction to the news.

John B doesn't seem that surprised by it, because who else, aside from everyone else in Kildare who knows of their "hatred" for one another, could've seen it coming as much as he did? He considers it for a second, then props his arm up on the handle side of the spear he digs into the rock to lean against.

"I'm pretty sure that means she likes you."

JJ retorts, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say."

Why would anyone ignore a person they like? It makes no sense to him. Every time he wanted a person, he'd simply walk over and make it happen. It's never been difficult for him to pursue the people he finds himself attracted to...Well, except for her. For a guy that also ignored her for the rest of the night and pretended their moment in the woods didn't happen, he has some balls of steel to be chastising her for the same things he did.

John B shrugs and says, "I'm being serious, dude. Sarah wouldn't even acknowledge my existence when I worked on the Druthers, and I thought it was some stuck-up rich person thing but it wasn't."

They shouldn't be talking at all right now as to not scare away the fish, but they do it anyway. They both know he won't let it go until it's out of his system for good. He wouldn't allow himself to forget it if he wanted to, so its better to talk it out than turn stir crazy from ruminating over it 24/7.

Though it's, as he worded it yesterday, hot as balls out, being by the sea lessens the feeling of it by a landslide.

The breeze they crave whenever they work on their huts or forage through the forest for wild berries, coconuts, or potential building supplies blows on them without pause for the time they spend here, which almost makes it more dangerous. They stand under the direct harm of the UV rays frying them without truly feeling it burn yet, and he dreads the next few days in anticipation of the returning sunburn he just peeled off of his shoulders the other day.

JJ walks down the side to get a better view of the water, balancing precariously on the sharpened edge with the spear clenched tightly in one hand. The breeze is strong enough to threaten his balance, but he holds firm and digs his toes into the sedimentary rock for traction. His body sways in the midday sun with the struggle for stability, or, at least he suspects its midday.

Since being stranded here, time is a foreign concept to them. With no phones, clocks, or any guide to go off of other that the position of the sun above to display the hours that pass, they've lost complete track of what day it is, let alone how long minutes or hours truly are in comparison to the endless summer they live within. They suspect it's been a month since they were left here, but, in all honesty, it could be two. None of them had the sense to mark the days in a tally until it was too late.

He says, lifting his arm to throw the spear, "Well, she is a stuck up rich person, so maybe it's just—"

"You know I'm right here, don't you?"

The sound of her voice from a few feet behind them startles JJ into turning around to look at her right when he lets go of the spear.

Unfortunately for him, the jerking movement throws off his carefully distributed weight and skews his balance, making the feet placed on the edge slip from underneath him and send him slipping down into the water. His calf is the first body part to hit the rocks, and the groan of pain he lets out at the feeling of the jagged rock slicing through his skin could make her heart stop mid-beat. But what truly scares her is seeing the back of his head hit the ground too.

Before he can slide the rest of the way into the water, two pairs of hands are grabbing onto his arms and heaving him up with all of their strength. She and John B grit their teeth with the effort it takes to pull him back up, their muscles burning from the strain, and once his feet are over the ledge, he pushes off the rock to help them the rest of the way. Drops of his blood disperse into the water off the edge from where he cut himself, dripping until there's hardly any left.

Once he's safely laid back down a few feet from where he slipped, Y/N is kneeling in front of him in a matter of seconds. The rock beneath her knees opens small cuts into her skin, but she doesn't pay it any heed. She sits on her heels to lessen the minor pain and lean forward to inspect the damage he took with nothing on her mind other than worry.

Soon enough, John B joins her to kneel at his feet as he sits up and watches them eye up his injury as though it’s some sort of ghastly, life threatening thing instead of a gash that won't need stitches. He watches them against the glittering ocean, waves washing up on the rocks around them to sting his wound with saltwater.

"It's a scratch, not an amputation," JJ says.

She ignores him with a frown lining her pretty features and twists his leg by the ankle to get a better view of the wound in the sunlight. It extends up the entire length of his calf, almost from ankle to knee, and dribbles fresh blood onto her hands as well as the ground beneath them. From what he can tell, it doesn't look all too severe. No muscle or bone can be seen, so it's a simple, superficial scratch.

When he doesn't get a response from either her or John B while they're too busy checking out his leg, he says again, "Guys, I'm serious, it's fine."

This time, she doesn't hesitate to answer.

"Yeah, well you may not need stitches but you still have infection to worry about. This wilderness isn't exactly the cleanliest place," she says retorts with as much snark as usual, and he quietly rejoices in the fact that she's finally acting normal after what happened last night, "Not to mention, you hit your head pretty hard. There's no need to act all tough."

He shrugs.

"It's not an act, it really doesn't hurt that bad."

John B stands and smears the blood on his hands off on the front of his shorts.

"I'll be right back, guys, I'm gonna go get stuff to patch him up."

Just like that, they are left plunging into silence as he is running away down the peninsula back to the beach they've claimed as their own.

Silence has always been her least favorite thing to share with JJ. She'd rather anything over it—screaming, fighting, joking, friendly conversation, or even what they did together yesterday night. Anything is preferable over the tense and insufferable feeling of silence when they're alone together with none of their friends, or their playful hatred, between them as a barrier between them.

Instead of seeing the same pestering jerk she always used to when she looks at him, she sees the memory of how he looked at her in the woods. He didn't look at her like she was the worst person to ever walk the planet, or like she was his least favorite Kook "Princess", he looked at her like she meant something to him.

They sit together in uncomfortable silence in the time it takes John B to rush to the beach and back, careful not to slip on the rocks the way JJ did, with the supplies from the dinghy in his arms. It isn't much to work with, but at least it's something to keep the nasty wound on his leg protected from dirt and germs. She's sure he'd leave it uncovered and up to fate if he had it his way.

Before he can set them down on the wet rocks, thus ruining the gauze and bandages in craters filled with ocean water, she gestures at JJ with a stern command, "Take off your shirt."

His brows raise.

"Shit, Princess, take me out to dinner first."

She groans in frustration, "Can you be quiet for a second and actually listen to me for once?"

He catches John B's gaze with wide eyes, but complies nonetheless, reaching down to tug the tank off of his torso by the frayed hem until it's balled up in his closed fist to hand off to her. Her eyes only linger on his body for a quick second on accident before snatching it from him.

Her bloodstained palms lay the shirt out on the flattest stretch of rock she can find to act as a barrier from the small puddles of water to protect the supplies. One nod at John B has him setting them down atop the navy fabric as she glances up at JJ with a smug smile.

"Believe it or not," she taunts, unscrewing the cap to the disinfectant, "I didn't ask for it so you could sit there and look pretty."

The words throw him back in time to their conversation on the beach while they thatched the roof to their hut, and he wonders how long she's been waiting to throw that back in his face since he first said it.

He grins at her as he asks, "You think I'm pretty?" but before he can say more, she's pouring a generous amount of the hydrogen peroxide along the length of his cut without a warning for him to prepare himself. His leg jerks away on instinct to save himself from the burning sensation, but she grips his ankle tightly enough to force him to stay still.

His nose scrunches up with the urge to groan in pain, and he does a little. Through grinding teeth, he winces in response to the peroxide slipping into every cell of open skin and bubbling up like the white water of the waves as it kills the bacteria lingering in the gash.

"Does it hurt now?" Y/N asks.

She's looking up at him through her lashes with her lips curled into a smirk as she packs gauze onto the wound until it's covered to her satisfaction. And it should be the last thing he's thinking about right now after cutting up his leg and hitting his head hard enough to worry her about concussions, but he can't help it. Looking down at her like this, it's impossible for him to not think about the unfinished business they have.

Everything is the same as it was yesterday—the tattered white top, the red panties in place of a bikini, sunburnt cheeks, and a taunting look that he'll never get tired of seeing. But that's precisely why he's reminded of it. She's wearing the same clothes and looking at him the way she did on the beach before any of last night's antics occurred, and he can't keep himself from wondering if it'll happen again.

"Yeah," he finally responds.

Her smirk grows for a second before she gets back to work.

"Good."

JJ subtly eyes her up from where she shifts on her knees to set the open gauze wrappers under the peroxide bottle in exchange for the bandage wrap, but he isn't as subtle as he thinks. She can feel his stare no matter how sneaky he attempts to be. He may be able to evade John B's attention, since he dove into the ocean to retrieve the wooden spear that began to float out in the tide, but she never misses a thing. Not when it comes to him.

When he looks at her, he finds memories.

Her legs folded up beneath her bring him back to how smooth they felt on his palms when he lifted them up around his hips. Her rosy lips pressing into a line in concentration bring him back to the coconut flavor he tasted on them. Her nipples poking against the fabric of her shirt bring him back to when he lifted it up over her breasts to suck at the sensitive skin until he got a moan from her—There isn't a place he can stare without going back to last night.

Part of him hates that.

He can't stand that a girl who he spent the last five years hating has found a way into his daydreams. Why couldn't it have been anyone else? Why did she have to lure him into her trap? He supposes there's nothing he can do about it now, though. After hours of stewing over it, he's reached the conclusion that it was likely a one-time thing, a mistake made in the heat of the moment that she won't make again, and he should get the idea of it out of his head.

When she has to adjust her grip to hold the gauze in place while she wraps the bandage around his leg, he sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth and jerks away again. She glances up at him with her best, "Are you kidding me?" face. Didn't he say he was tough?

"I'm starting to think you're a sadist, 'cause it's like you're trying to make it hurt," he says.

She gasps, feigning offense.

"Me? Enjoying this? It's not like we've hated each other for years or anything."

And though he may not realize it, this is her way of distracting him from the pain of having her apply added pressure to his cut while she wraps the bandage into place. It has to be tight enough to keep water and sand out, but not so tight that it cuts off circulation, and while it may have been tolerable without her touching it, the contact is enough to make it worse for him.

He asks, "Uh, speaking of, why are you the one doing this? Isn't it some kind of HIPAA thing to treat patients you've threatened to violate with tree branches before?"

The sound of her laughter makes his stomach flutter with butterflies, and he wonders what the hell is wrong with him.

"That's not what HIPAA is, genius"—her eyes crinkle at the sides with her wide smile while she wraps his leg—"and I'm the one doing this because I know way more medical shit than the rest of you."

Even Pope.

"Ohhh right, I forgot. Your dad is this hotshot surgeon and that makes you think you know everything," he taunts.

The casual mention of her father makes her chest ache with something not many of the Pogues, excluding Pope, have felt since being stranded on this island. With their parents either disowning them, absent, abusive, or dead, they have no reason to resist the allure of living here for the months or years it may take to be rescued, but she does.

She misses him.

For the longest time since her mom died, it was her and her dad versus the world. In everything they did, they did it together, and before she met Sarah, he was the closest she had to a best friend. Since they had no other family to help watch her as a child, she grew up in the hospital with him, drawing with crayons on his office’s printer paper with her babysitter and picking up small things along the way from watching him for so long.

He could've chosen to leave her at home, sure, but he didn't want to miss out on seeing her more than he already did, so she spent the majority of her childhood in offices, waiting rooms, and the indoor playground of the PEDs wing.

She takes a deep breath to steady herself after the sucker punch of being reminded of her dad and says, "Well, I know enough and, thankfully for you, I'm the one doing this instead of John B."

From far away, twenty or so feet offshore where their friend is paddling through the water with the lost spear held in one hand, they hear John B shouting an offended, "I heard that!" back at her. It draws a soft chuckle from them both, and she silently thanks him for distracting JJ one last time as she finishes and secures the bandage so it won't unravel.

She wipes her hands off on her water-soaked thighs one more time to get as much of his blood off of her fingers as possible before she reaches out with both arms extended to offer him help to stand. He takes them with a murmured, "Thanks," as they both try not to show how affected they are by the casual touch.

It makes them feel pathetic that something as small as holding each other's hands makes them remember what they did and desperately wish to continue it. Her throat bobs with how she must swallow the lump in her throat at their close proximity, barely breathing now that he's standing close to her with less than a few inches between them.

For a second, they don't move away. They stay face to face, and all she can think of is how badly she wants to kiss him again. But she can't do anything yet, not when she hears someone screaming from the water.

"There's a shark!" John B screams as he paddles back faster than he's ever swam in his life, already close enough to the peninsula that they can see the terror in his eyes when they turn to look.

Surely enough, there a tip of a fin too pointed to pass off as a dolphin cutting through the surface of the water to alert them of the fish's presence, but if that weren't enough, the water is clear enough for them to see its outline.

Thankfully for him, it isn't huge. It looks about as long as he is tall, but that doesn't change the degree of danger. Just because it isn't as big as other sharks doesn't make a bite any less lethal, especially when their only form of medical attention rests on her knowledgeable yet inexperienced shoulders.

For once in his life, JJ is frozen with no clue of what to do.

He's always the man with the plan, the one who jumps into action when others choke up and sit on the sidelines, but this makes him falter. What can he do to help other than stand here and pray John B can out-swim a shark? He's helpless, and now that he's faced with the prospect of losing his best friend for a second time, he doesn't know what to do.

It was his blood in the water that must have attracted the shark, and he was so caught up in his own drama with her and the pain of his cut that he didn't consider the danger of John B jumping in to retrieve the spear he dropped. It's his fault. His best friend is about to be eaten by a shark and it's his fault—

The blurred image of her rushing past in his peripheral vision rips him from his stormy thoughts, and right when he thought it couldn't get worse, it does. Water splashes up around her body and swallows her under the surface after she leaps off the edge of the rock with the aluminum spear from the dinghy raised in her dominant arm.

"Y/N!"

Before he even realizes what he's doing, JJ is screaming out her name, screaming it like he cares, and damns the consequences to dive in after her.

While he was frozen, she sprung into action without thinking of her own life first. She knew he was close to the rock, but not close enough to swim faster than a predator designed for the conditions of the ocean. It took one glance at the spear resting to the side for her to lean down, scoop it up, and get a running start to jump out as far as humanly possible. Various joints and muscles ached from how she strained to push herself far off the rock, taking flight with nothing but their survival in mind.

She sucks in a heaving breath upon breaking the surface, but she doesn't take a second to pause with John B paddling up to her so soon.

"Go back!"

The only answer she gives him is, "Use your spear!" before she brings hers out of the water in anticipation of the grey figure bolting straight for them.

It's a stupid plan, but it's the only one she has, and if one of them is in danger, they'd all risk everything they have to protect them. After all, they're already trapped here with the threat of death every day. Is there anything more worthy of dying for than your friends?

Neither of them is necessarily trying to kill it yet either, they're trying to keep it at a safe distance or hurt it enough so it swims away from them, but she puts all of her strength into spearing the fish between the eyes anyway. Her legs kick tirelessly to keep her afloat while she and John B stab as accurately as they can, choking down a mouthful of salty ocean water from how her head sinks at the surface without the help of her arms to keep her up.

Blood stains the water with a crimson hue spreading out around their bodies—whether it's theirs or the shark's, she doesn't know—and she must keep her lips clamped shut to prevent it from spilling into her mouth, breathing solely through her nose. She can tell her legs are soon to give out on her, but then a pair of hands latch onto her body. Call her irrational or stupid, but even with the clear distinction of human hands on her waist, her mind reacts in instinctual fear.

The touch makes her jolt mid-stab and sobers her feral mind back to reality for a moment until she realizes it's a human touching her, not the shark.

It's JJ.

His arms wrap around her thighs and hoist her up out of the water as much as he can while still swimming, effectively pushing himself underwater with one last gasp for air.

The sudden shift in view has her gaze shifting around to take in the new sights with a gush of red water rushing off of her onto the splashing surface: a light grey tail whips around in the chaos, the shark's head oozes blood from the multiple puncture wounds that didn't push quite deep enough, and its jaws snap right where John B's arm is before he yanks it back.

After a fraction of a second, it clicks with her that there's no time to waste watching her friend almost get his arm chomped off while she takes in the unbelievable sight. Her slippery grip on the handle remains as firm as possible, and she raises the spear over her head with an improved accuracy she never could've had from where she previously aimed it before. All of their shots landed well enough, but with the height advantage, she won't allow herself to fuck it up this time with her friend's life hanging in the balance.

She hardly recognizes her own frantic voice shouting at him, "Spear it in the gills!"

Her hands bring the razor-sharp tip of the spear down into its head repeatedly, and she isn't sure whether it's the splashing water or tears wetting her face when she buries the weapon down into it for a final time right when John B lodges his wooden spear in its gills.

Whatever she did, it must've hit its brain, because the animal halts its thrashing. Its teeth no longer snap at her friend, nor does its tail whip around in the water as violently as it did a moment ago.

As quickly as it started, it drops off into a sickening calm that leaves the white bubbles dissolving into a puddle of bloody water surrounding the trio and the fish that dies with no small amount of guilt on her part. There was no choice but to kill it. It makes her ache on the inside, but how could she regret it if she knows it saved them? The guilt might ravage her for the upcoming days, but she can't bring herself to regret jumping in after him.

She hardly has the chance to process it before she's being pulled away by both of the boys, her view of the scene shifting drastically once more with the abrupt drop of JJ letting her down in favor of guiding her through the gentle waves. His calloused hand squeezes her arm enough to cut circulation off on their journey back.

Time rushes past her in the next thirty seconds or so it takes them to reach the peninsula again in a paranoid sprint away from where the dead fish floats. One of them, John B she thinks, tosses the aluminum spear he dislodged from the shark's head up onto the rocks and clambers his way back up on his own. The waves closer to land grow rougher than the tender current out where they killed the shark, and she grunts in pain as one sends her and JJ straight into the rocks. His body hits her back with a solid ‘thump’ and forces her to wheeze with the wind getting knocked from her lungs upon impact, nails cracking on the black rock from the desperate grip she uses in an attempt to lift herself.

Meanwhile, JJ can't seem to catch his breath either, nor can he think of anything other than her once he sees that John B isn’t injured.

As soon as he sees his friend is unmarked from the teeth of the shark after he's out of the water, he positions himself behind Y/N to help her out first. He places his hands on her backside to push her up as quickly as he can. Knowing that the carcass in the water will soon attract more sharks in the surrounding area into a feeding frenzy, he'd rather it be him than her. It's a thought that shoots by too fast for him to fully acknowledge the meaning or weight of it at a time like this.

Somehow within his adrenaline-crazed mind, he is careful not to push her onto the jagged edge that sliced his leg open earlier, then climbs after her with little space left between them.

She's coughing up saltwater onto the rocks as he scrambles over to her, eyes wild with the petrifying worry of anything bad happening to her. They scan over her arms, legs, stomach, and back, and he doesn't even realize his hands are reaching out to inspect her as frantically as she had with him when he got hurt.

His hands cup her face, petting over her dripping hair and forcing her to look up so he can see if she somehow got hit in the face. Never has his mind been so void of rational thought, and, knowing him and his impulsive tendencies, that's saying a lot. The confusion of his contradictory feelings for her muddle his mind. Worry and hatred, attraction and anger—they battle it out, but only two manage to reach him externally.

Worry and anger it is. Worry for obvious reasons. Anger because—

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

She has never heard him sound so vicious since the start of whatever odd relationship/friendship/enemy-ship they have. With his worried expression and how he checked her entire body for injury after helping her out of the water, the last thing she would've anticipated from him was anger. Especially not after she saved his best friend's life. Considering what she just did for him, she thinks he should be thanking her, not chastising her.

Behind her back, she can hear a collection of yelling voices and splashing footsteps over the water dripping from them. It can only be the rest of their friends racing up the peninsula to them, but she can't turn around.

She stares at him with utter confusion flooding her at his unexpected outburst. Speechless.

"What was I thinking?" she asks incredulously with her face still cradled between his hands, "I was saving John B's life!"

Their emotional distance and disagreement are made up for in abundance by how physically entangled they've become. It wasn't intentional. It was a result of him needing to get close enough to scour her exposed skin for any bites, but now that they're sitting so near to each other, they forget to back away.

John B is too busy to engage with them.

He's doubled over on the ground with the compulsion to vomit the contents of his stomach into the ocean, but he doesn't dare get close to the edge again after what they went through. Instead, he positions himself away from them and their approaching friends until the half-digested food is forced back through his mouth. The acidic bile scorches his throat and nostrils on the way out.

JJ doesn't have the opportunity to retort back something about her being stupid, because Pope is the first person to reach them and ask, "What the hell happened?"

The rest of the group isn't far behind. It's Kie who asks the next question, then Sarah, then Cleo. They all pop off in rapid succession before either of the three of them can answer.

"Are any of you hurt?"

"Why is he throwing up?"

"Is that a shark?"

The last question draws everyone's attention over to the half-sunken mass of fish bobbing up and down on the breaths of the sea with a wooden spear sticking straight out of its gills. Though it isn't the biggest, most intimidating shark to roam the ocean, its presence doesn't fail to make everyone who looks at it shudder with the realization of what must have happened.

John B wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and points over at her with his trembling arm outstretched.

"She killed it."

The four of them whip their heads in her direction, jaws nearly falling off their faces in disbelief, but she doesn't say anything yet. Because as soon as they feel the eyes of their friends burning into them, she and JJ realize, as though they're returning to reality from the hazy layers of a dreamscape, that they're still holding each other.

She's slumped halfway onto him from when he hauled her body closer to inspect her, so she's essentially sitting on top of him at this point. Her legs, bruised and scratched up from when the waves crested to send them crashing into the rocks, are entangled around his enough that they look back and forth between them and where his hands cup her face in surprise.

JJ doesn't know what came over him.

Now that he snaps out of it at the same time as her, both of them separating and nudging each other away until their bodies are no longer entwined, he feels his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

When he saw her leaping past him to jump into the water, his mind shut off. He wasn't thinking about himself, or the possibility of getting killed, or anything at all. He was only thinking of the danger she put herself in, then he dove in and the rest of his conscious mind faded away into pure survival instinct. Yet, even after he knew the immediate danger was gone, the adrenaline kept him on edge, desperate to get her back to land and pray none of them were hurt.

"It was trying to attack him," she rasps. Her throat is raw from the saltwater she choked on, and every word burns. "But we did it together."

She pushes herself off the ground with an exhausted sigh.

Muscles spent from the struggle in the water, her legs wobble beneath the weight of her upper body as she takes a few steps to help John B up from his position on his hands and knees. From what she heard, he has thrown up all he has left in his stomach and hasn't gagged again in a minute or so, so attempting to stand again shouldn't be too strenuous for him.

His hand is cold in her grasp from the water soaking their bodies, but it holds firmly enough for her to help him into his feet without their palms slipping apart. No patches of blood are visible on his shorts, nor are there any puncture wounds on him from the sharp teeth that snapped at his arm in the quick but vigorous fight.

They were very, very fortunate to have made it out alive, and when he looks down at her face, he feels nothing but gratitude for the girl he previously saw as nothing more than his girlfriend's best friend. They went into the water as casual acquaintances, companions of convenience and the happenstance of being forced onto this island together, but they've come out of it differently. Now, they're friends.

Now, she's a Pogue.

He smiles at her, glancing up at their friends as their questions die down at the sight of his crazy grin, and says, "That was some real Pogue shit right there, Y/N." His eyes come back to meet hers. "I think it's about time we officially make you one of us. What do you think?"

She's opening her mouth to respond when Kiara cuts her off. The rest of them are staring at the trio as if they have ten heads sprouting from their bodies for not immediately surrendering more details of their near-death encounter other than saying she killed it.

"I'm sorry, can we please rewind to the part where you got attacked by a shark first?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, can I get a drumroll please for..."

The campfire is roaring with the abundance of sticks, leaves, and branches thrown onto the pile to fuel it as she feels a strong pair of arms looping around her thighs to lift her into the expansive, star-flecked sky.

In a flash of haunting memory, she relives the moment where JJ dove into the water after her and lifted her body above the surface to give her the high ground over the shark. She relives its thrashing hunger, the water splashing on her, and the cloudy hue of blood around them that she hoped wasn't either of the boys. For a second, as the world grows taller with her new perspective, she is brought back to the sudden shift she felt then and feels her stomach drop in panic, anticipating the danger.

But then the sound of her friends laughing, as well as the surging fire and crashing waves, comes back to her and forces the frightful flashback away. Her hip fits perfectly in the curve of John B's shoulder, and she lets her head fall back in giggling laughter at how he hoists her up in the air as though she's a holy figure of worship for the Pogues to kneel to.

His voice can likely be heard across the entire island when he shouts, "The Shark Conqueror!"

The group erupts into a triumphant mixture of cheers and laughter that fills the beach, everyone celebrating in their narrow escape earlier today...everyone except JJ.

After John B divulged the gory details of what happened, from JJ's fall to her picking up the spear and jumping in to save him from the shark, they made their way back with enough conversation to last the month. They all asked questions and took peeks back at where it happened in morbid curiosity, wondering how on earth they managed to come out of the situation without a scratch.

The rest of the afternoon continued on with the same buzzing energy that can only be created from the thrill of being alive. She's felt it many times since joining Sarah's group of friends that seem to find trouble wherever they go, but she has never felt it as vehemently as she does tonight. It's a mixture of euphoria, shock, and soul-crushing guilt for having to hurt another living creature, even one that was intending to make a meal of her friend.

No matter how much she grows up or discovers more about herself as a person, feelings never stop being as frustrating as they were to her as a child. You can get better at processing and hindering explosive reactions to them, but they never simplify. She doesn't know why she feels so much at once. She doesn't know why she feels simultaneously on top of the world and thrown off the edge of a cliff, but she thinks it has to do with him.

Since they walked back to the beach and talked about what happened until the day withered into night, which led them here to the “official” ceremony of her being named a Pogue for life, JJ hasn't spoken to her once.

Suddenly, the shoe is on the other foot.

Much like how she avoided him all night last night leading into this morning, he doesn't talk to her. He tries not to look at her too from where he sits on the log of driftwood across the fire, but it's somewhat inevitable with the spectacle John B is making of her at the moment.

Painted in the warm tones of the firelight like a goddess in her own right, Y/N is impossible to look away from, and it makes him angrier than he already is. A handwoven circlet crafted from the hibiscus and hippeastrum flowers growing in the forest around their camp sits atop her head. It doesn't fall to the ground with the movement of her throwing her head back in laughter. It stays in its rightful place against the rule of gravity until her face comes back into view for him to quickly look away from.

It dampers her laughter to see him avoiding her gaze so adamantly, taking a swig of water from one of the small cups they carved from wood and turning to talk to Kie to keep himself busy. The distinct sensation of being on top of the world slips away with the feeling of his cold avoidance and John B lowering her back to the ground until her bare feet sink into the soft sand.

Before she can start sulking about it for the foreseeable future, Sarah steps up beside her.

The familiar touch of a hand on her shoulder brings her comfort amidst her confusion and hurt over the way JJ is acting, and when she turns to see a pretty face looking fondly at her, a warm smile finds her lips.

"Pogue for life?" Sarah asks.

The three words bring make her smile grow the same way it had when she was talking to JJ on the peninsula. It crinkles the skin around her eyes with its unrestrained happiness to hear them because, as much as she pretends to let JJ's comments roll off of her, tonight marks one of the first times she's felt at home with them.

That's not to say they haven't made her feel welcome in the past, they did, but this isn’t the same. This is closer, this is the type of bond that's forged in situations like these where people have no choice but to rely on each other or let their worlds collectively fall apart, and she thinks, for the first time, that she could live here with them forever if she must.

None of them know how much time has passed since they arrived here, least of all her, but it sure as hell feels like an eternity. At first, she could barely withstand the idea of living here for months with the intention of being rescued as soon as possible, but now...

She brings Sarah into an embrace tight enough to force the air from their lungs.

"Pogue for life," she echoes back with her face buried into the salt-scented tresses of dirty blonde hair cascading over her tan shoulders.

Would it be crazy of her to think that this is where they're meant to be? That they're her family and this place she has fantasized about escaping is now their home?

After all, the lush island provides everything they need to sustain themselves with the rationing, scavenging, and hunting routines they adhere themselves to. Freshwater runs down the land in a stream from a water source uphill, plenty of different edible plants grow in the forest, and there's so much left of the expansive land to explore; it's perfect. Everything here is perfect for them, calling out to them to make it their home, but there's one little problem as of right now, and he's sitting across the fire behind her back.

Sarah's arms squeeze around her shoulders once to bring her in even closer.

"Thank you for saving him," her voice is so hushed, Y/N can hardly hear it with her lips brushing the shell of her ear to whisper into it, "I'm not gonna get all mushy with you right now, but I don't know what I would've done if"—Sarah's breath hitches in her throat, and she shakes her head—"I just wanted to thank you."

When they pull apart, Y/N is looking back at her with a knowing expression, one that says everything she can't in the presence of the others, and Sarah can't help but mirror it.

It isn't long before the blonde-haired beauty is whisked away by her boyfriend to help him cook the crabs they caught closer to shore after their encounter with the shark. Not wanting to swim out or risk slipping off the rocks again with the dead fish promising to lure more predators to their area for the next week or so, they settled for hunting for shellfish and making good use of the fruits they find growing in wild abundance in the forest.

The night ticks away in swiftly passing minutes thanks to the humorous company of the people around her.

She nearly chokes on a mouthful of banana as Cleo tells a story from before she met them, when she used to live in Nassau and work jobs with Terence and Stubbs on ships. For such new additions to the group, they both fit surprisingly well with the lifelong childhood friends that sit around and banter with such ease together.

They talk, laugh, dance, and eat together, and there are moments when she feels happier than ever. There are moments exactly like when John B lifted her up and made her giggle at how their friends cheered on her behalf in indulgence of the silly "ceremony" they did, half out of boredom and half out of gratitude for what she did. But then she is reminded of the man sitting on the outskirts of the group with his features hardened into an expression of contemplation she wishes she could decode.

The night breeze feels heavenly on her perpetually overexposed skin. It blows into the fire and allows it to swell from the oxygen supply, crackling and popping embers out every so often like the spark of the zippo lighter JJ fidgets with in his restless hands. The movement attracts her wandering eyes while they should be focused on Cleo and Kie dancing around the fire with boisterous laughter while Sarah and Pope sing for them.

She keeps herself honed in on the opening and closing of the lighter under the guidance of his ring-clad fingers for the next minute or so.

They may have been pitting themselves against each other since they met, but that doesn't mean she doesn't know him well. If anything, the keen attention that her old hatred for him forced her to keep on him made her memorize everything there is to know. And she surely has picked up on the nervous habit of him playing with the lighter whenever he's thinking, whenever there's something crawling under his skin that he can't piece together.

He sits with his back to her, facing out toward the ocean so all she can see is the hand he uses to flick the lighter open and shut with. With a quick glance at the rest of their friends to see if any of them are watching or wanting to speak with her, she pushes herself up from the log and dusts her sandy palms on her shirt.

The tracks of her footsteps lead around the corner of the driftwood he rests against until her feet appear, sunken into the sand in front of him. It takes a lot of control to not allow himself to follow up the length of her body, panning up along her legs until he sees that infuriatingly tenderhearted set of eyes looking down at him.

However, he doesn't have a choice in looking when her hand outstretches in a silent invitation. His first glimpse of her in the last half-hour shows her jerking her chin in the direction of the beach curving around the bend of the island.

This morning, he probably would've taken her up on the offer. He would've done anything to get a few minutes alone with her, but now he can't see past his anger and doesn't know why. He doesn't know why it hasn't calmed yet, but, in truth, it has more to do with him than it does her idiotic yet brave decision to fight off a shark today. Trust him, it still has a lot to do with the idiotic shark thing, but the rest is lost in translation for him.

"Not in the mood," he dismisses her.

Her brows furrow and form a crease between them as she tries to find something to say but comes up with nothing. At least not until it clicks with her what he thought she was trying to do by inviting him to walk with her.

The last time they went off on their own together, it ended in an explosive encounter they have yet to erase from their minds. It's what greets them whenever they close their eyes for a second too long, existing in their wildest daydreams and fantasies whenever they have a spare moment to themselves. Hell, he can't stop thinking about it even when he's already occupied. It was the reason why he didn't catch any fish this morning before the incident that made him pissed at her in the first place. He couldn't stop thinking of her.

"Oh," she murmurs and starts to kneel down until her knees are sinking into the sand the same way she did when patching up his leg. Her eyes peek over his shoulder to ensure the others didn't hear them—"That wasn't what I meant...I was just wondering if you wanted to talk about today. It must have been a lot to process, since he's your best friend and all, and—"

JJ snaps, unable to tolerate it anymore, and stands up from his spot on the sand to move away from her.

"You don't need act all therapist with me, okay? I'm fine, and I don't need you to fix me if that's what you wanted. Today was fine. Everything's fine, so let it go."

Her mouth opens and closes like a fish with a loss for words. For the second time in the span of a minute, she is grasping blindly for something to say in the wake of him shocking her to silence. He's starting to walk past her but she doesn't let him. Her hand shoots out to stop him and holds onto his arm to turn him back despite his rudeness.

Underneath it all, her concern touches him deeply. It shouldn't trigger a reaction like this in him, so why does it? What about today set him off? He hasn't been this genuinely angry with her since before the hunt for the gold began, before she started to blend into their friend group and establish herself as one of them.

"Woah, woah, woah," she says, "I never said that. I thought that you needed someone to talk to. You know, as a friend."

Their friends start to notice their interaction tensing up now. Before, they didn't pick up on her stepping away for a second to check on him. Now, it's impossible to ignore what unfolds hardly six steps from where they watch as slyly as they can. The two of them haven't had a conversation as cold as this one in months, and what he says next takes it to a place that freezes over the connection they made last night and shatters the warm place it held in her heart.

He scoffs.

"We're not friends. If you think you gotta act different 'cause you threw yourself at me last night, don't bother. You hate me and I hate you. That's how it is."

No nicknames, jokes, or anything to act as a buffer, just cruelty. Rejection.

Though they truly were trying to pretend like they weren't paying attention, every single one of their friends stops and stares. A chorus of hushed reactions sound off from across the fire, and the faint sound of Kie muttering, "Oh shit," is the first thing to reach their ears. It's needless to say that none of them could've expected something so callous to come from him, not after what they saw when they ran up to them on the peninsula this morning.

With the way he was holding her then, doting on her and cradling her face between his hands even in the midst of his anger at what she did, they sooner expected the pair to admit they're dating than have a blowout like this.

In the delayed seconds it takes for her to realize what the fuck he just said to her, he watches her face shift from a look of concern to sadness, to flush-faced embarrassment, then finally to anger. Her teeth grind together, nostrils flaring on her inhale, and in one quick moment, she comes to a conclusion within herself.

She reaches up to rip the handmade crown of vibrant flowers off her head with flames to match the camp fire flaring up in her eyes for him. Before she can do anything, he already knows he crossed a line, if not multiple lines. It's evident in everything he sees, from the hurt look on her face to the force with which she shoves the crown into the center of his chest to send him stumbling back a few steps. Just like yesterday, except it couldn't be any more different.

"Fuck. You." She spits the words as though they're venomous, and he almost shrinks away under the intensity of her stare, “Go find somewhere else to sleep tonight, 'cause it sure as hell isn't gonna be with me."

Petals flutter out upon impact against his solid chest and float peacefully to the sand around his feet as he watches her turn on her heels and storm off toward their hut. Though, after what he did and what she said to him as a goodbye, it isn't really theirs anymore, is it? At least not for tonight, tomorrow, or the next day until he finds a way to make her hear him out for an apology.

He stands there, frozen, the entire time he watches her leave. Nothing can move him from the spot, not even Sarah knocking her shoulder against his with a pointed glare on her way past to follow her into the moonlit darkness.

He doesn't even resist the disappointed looks he gets, or the shoulder check from Sarah. This time, he deserves it. He deserves every ounce of their judgment. All she was trying to do was make sure he was okay and he was too consumed in his unreleased frustration from today to see it. And, in a way, he's still frustrated over it, but it's greatly overshadowed by the guilt seeping through him.

The shadowy shapes of the two girls disappear into the small hut further down the beach, and JJ is left with nothing to do but look down at the flower crown clutched to his chest in regret.

Tag List: @gabiatthedisco, @fangirlvoice, @black-syren, @apparrio, @particularcth, @planetdemon, @idk-ijustworkhere, @krisphann, @astrydis, @k-k0129, @zarahsloves, and @stilesflannels.

[doopy-n-loopy]

Yan!TF2 × reader headcannons (SFW and NSFW)

// obsessive tendancies, mentions of violence, blood, sexual themes, noncon

[SFW]

Let's start with the defense classes

Defense:

Demoman

Deffo didn't admit that he loved you

Tbh he probably blamed it on his drunkenness

But dude you're always drunk

I mean seriously if he sobers up he'll genuinely die so like-

He would usually drink with you or just around you if you don't drink

He's generally a fun chill guy to be with

He would watch you from a distance at times, especially during battle you might distract the cyclops

He's okay with you asking questions

One time he broke his eyepatch and needed a new one

You gave him a nice black eyepatch with the demoman emblem on it

He gets all red whenever you say his full name, because he knows you remembered it

He is generally against kidnapping, I mean especially since he lives with his ma he'd rather not

And because he's a gentleman

If you ever reciprocate his feelings he'll make sure to treat you right

He is a messy person but for you? He'll clean

Probably would get carried away and make home made bombs with all the cleaning supplies 🤦‍♂️

Takes you to meet his mom

"ooo Tavish, yer gonna get me some grand kiddos are ya?"

That made you both blush like crazy

Soft cheek kisses

Probably made a special bomb and named it after you

"this one's for you, luv!" *Proceeds to set off all stickybombs which blows up the entire enemy team*

Blew up the last guy who looked at you funny

Hell, even worse when they make a sexual remark to you scout probably did it

Likes to give you your space but when he's paranoid he follows you to wherever or watched you from a distance

Heavy

Two words: big boy

Hugs are 10000000000/10

Sometimes it fewls suffocating but man it's like hugging a cloud

Soft forehead kisses

Russian pet names

He sometimes lets you touch Sasha, that's how he knows he loves you because he doesn't even let medic, his best friend, touch her

Probably named a gun after you or one of the pet names he calls you

You definitely met his family and they loved you

Zana especially

Doesn't get jealous easily but will not hesitate to unload 12 pounds of bullets into someone who even LOOKS at you the wrong way

Lord have mercy on the ones who dare flirt with you, rest in pieces scout

Doesn't really follow you anywhere (you're a bit too fast for him) but he does watch you and check up on you

He preforms okay on the battlefield but when you're around, he'll show off

Will cook for you, mainly russian dishes

He's very against kidnapping and would rather not do it

Doesn't shut up about you when he's around medic

Engineer

F l u f f y

Very softspoken in general but he gets all flustered when you talk to him

Will check up on you occasionally

"Darlin'" "Honey bunny" things like that y'know

Huge smile when you're around

Will cook for you most definitely, knows what you like

Makes little robots for you

Likes seeing you use his dispenser

Doesn't get jealous easily either but will try and take you away from someone who wants your attention

Likes just having you in his presence, doesn't need to talk to be happy with you around

Very very against kidnapping like all other defense classes, wouldn't do it unless if he truly felt the need to, last resort kind of thing

The last guy who flirted with you had a sentry gun shoved up his ass

Doesn't really follow you anywhere

Offense:

Scout

Nothing short of a horomonal teenager

I mean he's 21 but

He gets so giddy around you, very loud, tries to show off

He loves you very much

"oh yeah? Well I once absolutely smashed a guy into peices, he was still screaming when he was dead!"

He brags about brutal things but hey you love it since you're also brutal

Flexes his non-existent muscles around you

Would talk about his mom to you all day

Definitely got a tattoo of your face and name somewhere on his body, most likely his bicep

Your name is probably misspelled too but you never say anything about it because he can't read so it's fine

He hasn't really thought about kidnapping in all honesty, again, a last resort kinda thing if he can't get you to love him

He will make a damn SCENE if anyone flirts with you

"you think that's funny, chucklenuts? I eat guys like you for breakfast lunch AND dinner!" "I'll blow yer freakin head off if ya talk to y/n like that again!" Would definitely drag you away

God help anyone that makes you uncomfortable, he'll fuck them up, if that person is medic I mean he'll try to but we all know how fucking scary medic is

Follows you at times

Pyro

"Mphmphmpph"

Seems more lovey around you

Definitely gave you a hand full of the enemy's bloody bones thinking it was a bouquet of flowers

Absolute baby

Just so precious, scary but precious

Hugs for days

Good luck trying to get their ass off of you when you're on cease-fire

Very warm though, they smell like smoke with a bit of blood

Likes petting you

Isn't against the idea of kidnap because they don't realize what they're actually doing, they think they're just taking you to a magical place

Snuggles

When someone flirts with you their whole world changes

Gets angry and starts yelling at them

"MPHMPHMOHMPHHH! MPHMPHNHUMAHUMA!" - Pyro 2021

Will not let you get a checkup alone, he trusts medic but not with you

Very sweet tho, he'll turn around when you need to strip down

Will follow you almost EVERYWHERE and if they can, while holding your hand

Soldier

Yells at you a little less than the others

At first doesn't realize how he feels but then realizes that he loves you

Is pretty protective over you

Rants about America all day to you

Probably got you an american flag to wear

Doesn't really take off his helmet but he likes seeing you in it, makes him proud

If you ever live with him you'll find out that he owns like 20 racoons

"YOU ARE CUTER THAN A RACOON" "YOU WILL BE SAFE ON THE BATTLEFIELD, DO YOU HEAR ME MAGGOT?"

He loudly wakes everyone up in the morning but tries to avoid waking you up

Loves you as much as he loves America

Will show off on the battlefield for you

Isn't against kidnapping you, he probably did it early on if you showed immediately that you didn't reciprocate his feelings

Will blow any guy that hits on you to absolute bits

"MAGGOT DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WILL LEAVE THE LADY/MAN ALONE THIS INSTANT!"

Probably put you on his back and rocket jumped just to show you what it felt like

Follows you around a lot, it's really obvious because he wears a bucket over his head and crashes into things, when you look back he'll stand behind a lamp post or somewhere really obvious

Support

Ah yes, everyones favorite class including mine

Sniper

Very quiet

Takes secret glances at you

Pays more attention to you than the others

S h y

Asks how you are, how you slept, etc

Doesn't really need to be holding you, tbh he's against PDA

But he likes being in your presence

Just sit down next to him and he'll be fine

When he's on the battlefield, he'll look for you and make sure you're safe

God forbid anyone try to hurt you, he'll make them suffer

Talks about Australia to you and accidentally admitted that he wanted to take you there

Doesn't like the idea of kidnapping but he isn't totally against it, I can see him doing it

He smuggled you all the damn way to Australia

He'll nonchalantly show off to you on the battlefield, he'll let you get cornered and come in to save the day

"love" is a word he uses a lot with you

Will grumble to himself if he sees someone flirting with you

If it's a random person, well, that'll be the last time you ever see them

Has talked about you to his parents

Kind of follows you? I mean he sits atop a high placeand watches you through his scope whenever you're going somewhere

Spy

SEDUCTIVE ASF

He knows what he's doing

Will kiss your hand a lot

Likes to flirt with you and see you blush

"honhonhon"

Sleazy french fucker

Watched you from afar at first then approached you a little later

Isn't against the idea of kidnapping, pro kidnapping, definitely did it not only to have you to himself but for some sort of sexual satisfaction

Just very uh... Lewd? Can't find the right word

He treats you very respectfully though

If he hears anyone else flirting with you he'll be fuming but won't show it

"Oh please, like you could EVER satisfy y/n's desires"

That person mysteriously disappeared that night

Very cocky bastard

Definetly follows you home, not only that but he watches you through your window

And stalks you

He knows everything about you

Would get you either by knocking you unconscious or by blackmailing you

Medic

B a s t a r d

Gets LOUD when you're around

And giddy

Very touchy, always has a reason to put his hands on you

Talks a lot with you around, I mean he already talks a lot but now he won't shut up

Keeps his office nice and clean for you

He restocks on everything so when you come around you can take a loot at all his medicines

Big smile :D

Like spy he is not at all against kidnapping you

Makes sure you're comfortable during checkups

Will make you wait to be seen last just so he can take his time touching your body

"it's all part of the procedure".mp3

Compliments you in weird ways, ex: "your skin is so smooth and lovely, it's the perfect texture to make leather out of" "you have an amazing colon"

Look he's just trying his best here he has a screw loose

You're the only member who he's careful with really

Sometimes allows you to get hurt or has you get hurt by something just so you can see him

Always follows you wherever

Knows everything about you

If someone is flirting with you, he'll get quiet at first and use a low tone to speak to them

"you have guts talking to y/n like that"

They were never seen again

With kidnapping, he won't hesitate to use blackmail against you, or will just use anesthesia

Bonus: Pauling

Pauling

This lady values her work over her life, but to her you're so much more important

Will call you a lot on the battlefield to check in on you

Won't give you extremely hard missons to do because she doesn't want you to get hurt

"Hey (class), Pauling here. I need you... No not like that I just- I mean- for a mission yeah a mission"

Gets all flustered when you're around

Will take her only day off to spend time with you, what a sweetheart

Keeps multiple tabs on you

Follows you around

Doesn't really have time for kidnapping

But if it comes to that, she'll make something up so she has a reason to kidnap you

If anyone else is flirting with you she won't show that she's annoyed

She'll make something up as an excuse to execute them

[NSFW]

Defense

Demo

Has definitely thought of what you'd look like while naked

B l u s h

Has used a mental image of you to get off before

Probably has an actual photo of you

When he drinks a little more than usual, he'll accidentally brush his hand against your ass or get touchy with you

Will not force himself on you, he's 100% against that

If you decide to have sex with him, praise is what you're gonna get

"you're as beautiful as a shot of whiskey in the sunrise"

Very gentle with his hands

Heavy

Not the type to masturbate

Unless if he gets THAT worked up

Again, against forcing himself on you

But if you want it no doubt you will top

He's also gentle with you

And loving

Praise is all you're gonna get

Sometimes russian sometimes broken english

Either way he will worship your body

Engi

Again, a more modest guy, doesn't really touch himself

Might just use a robot to pleasure himself when thinking about you

Probably has a photo of you and him around his workshop

Never forces himself on you

He's sweet and gentle when you do want it though

Sometimes gets help from his robot friends

Offense

Scout

Gets off on thinking about you

Won't force himself on you though

Sexual remarks × 100

Calls you handsome/beautiful in bed

I wouldn't say he's the best in bed but hey he's good I guess

Cuddles after sex most likely

Probablh threw out all his sexual magazines because they just didn't do the trick anymore

Sometimes when he runs past you, your shirt/skirt gets lifted up by a gust of wind and he can't help but look ( ͡��� ͜ ʖ ͡◉)

Since I hit the text limit, I'll be making a part 2, stay tuned

[usercelestial]

In the early hours of the morning, while the golden sun streams through their apartment window, Mickey stirs at a knock on the door. 

He shakes Ian, whose limbs are wrapped tight around him, his drool pooling on his chest. Ian grumbles something but doesn’t move. 

“Someone’s at the door, shithead, go get it,” Mickey shakes him again. 

Ian yawns and stretches his arms, laying flat on his back now, “Who the fuck is here this early?” Ian turns back to Mickey, smiling, “You know what day it is?” 

Mickey scrunches his eyebrows, trying to remember, “Uh, shit, a Tuesday?” He searches his brain for the date but he doesn’t get very far before Ian jumps on him, pressing kisses to his face. 

“It’s your birthday!” Ian says, far too loudly in Mickey’s opinion, in between kisses. 

Oh. 

Mickey knew Ian would want to celebrate. He’s been getting better at the whole self-love thing. Instead of sulking in their room, remembering all the times he was punished for his excitement until he figured out his existence isn’t something to celebrate, they would go out and get dinner and come home drunk on both alcohol and love. Though he can’t help but feel an ache in his chest for his forlorn upbringing. 

“Christ. I forgot,” Mickey places his hands on Ian’s hips, “I’m getting old.” 

Ian scoffs, “Don’t say that. You’re still in your twenties, doofus.” 

Mickey rolls his eyes and pushes Ian off his lap, “Go get the door.” 

Ian complies, leaving one last kiss on his cheek. 

He overhears a soft conversation, hushed and excited. 

He barely makes out what sounds like a woman’s voice paired with Ian’s. Mickey rubs his eyes, trying to rack his brain for any neighbor they might have pissed off last night who would come over to complain. He quickly throws on clothes and walks out to the living room to see Ian standing in the kitchen with Tami. 

She makes eye contact with him, “Fucking finally.” 

“What the hell do you mean ‘finally.’ It’s nine in the fucking morning.” 

“For normal people with healthy sleep schedules, it’s late,” she cocks her hips out, “Came to drop off your present, asshole, say thank you.” 

He punches her shoulder lightly, “Thanks, dick.” 

She holds out a small box, wrapped neatly in green wrapping paper. He haphazardly rips it off and opens it.  

There's an assortment of gifts. The first thing he pulls out is a Mickey Mouse plushie with a card taped to the front. The writing is messy, scribbled crayon, it reads: 

“hapy birth day, uncle mickey

freddie.” 

“Cool,” Mickey’s voice breaks, Tami and Ian snicker. 

“Lip helped pick out the toy,” Tami adds. 

“Fucker,” Mickey gently places the gift on the countertop. 

He goes back in and grabs a package wrapped in plastic. He realizes it’s soap and shampoo, a certain kind he told Tami he wanted a while ago, “How the fuck did you remember this?” 

Tami shrugs, “You’re my friend, stupid. There’s also a cookbook, Lip got that for both of you since Ian’s getting into growing his own food.”  

Mickey grabs the book that’s sitting on the bottom of the box, glancing at it before tossing it to Ian, “Thank you,” he nods and before he realizes it, she’s hugging him and pulling away. 

“Happy birthday, Mick. Love you guys,” Tami kisses Ian’s cheek, “I gotta go, see ya.” 

“Bye, Tami,” Ian waves, turning back to Mickey, who’s still standing, staring at the gifts that Tami dropped off. 

“Hey,” Ian says softly, rubbing his shoulders, “You good, baby?” 

Mickey nods, “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just-you know-” 

Ian does know. Not only because Mickey told him how weird it is, how uncomfortable he gets when people do things like this for him-nice things-but also because Ian experiences it himself. Maybe not to the same degree as Mickey, but he’s seen the way Ian malfunctions when one of his friends gets him something nice. He knows he has the same sort of wary confusion when they get to have good things. 

Mickey leans into Ian’s touch, “Wanna go back to sleep.” 

Ian rests his chin in the crook of Mickey’s neck, turning his face to plant a kiss on his cheek, “We can do that, baby.” 

They go back to sleep until one, Ian wakes him again gently, whispering in his ear that they have to get up because Kev and Vee need help in the Alibi. 

“It’s my fucking birthday, they should helping me!” Mickey yelped as Ian poked his side. 

“Come on. The minute they’re done, we’ll come back here and sleep to your heart's content.” 

“So forever?” Mickey asked from underneath a pillow. 

Ian made an alarmed sound from the back of his throat, Mickey threw a pillow at his head, “Not like that, asswipe. Just tired today.” 

Ian nods, sympathetic despite Mickey’s attack, “I know, honey. I promised them we would both go. So get your birthday ass up.” 

Mickey does in fact get his ass up. After thirty more minutes of complaining, they’re off to the Alibi. 

Ian pulls up to the bar and parks right in front of the doors. Mickey’s about to get out when Ian grabs his arm, “Okay, cards on the table, we planned a surprise party for you.” 

Mickey tilts in his head, perplexed by Ian’s definition of surprise, “I don’t think you know how surprises work, lover.” 

Ian picks at the skin of his lip, his eyes narrowed at the hollow of Mickey’s throat, “I just know you don’t like surprises.” 

Mickey sits back in his seat, watching as Ian nervously gnaws at his chapped lips. They’ve had this talk before, mainly about Mickey’s sleeping. Ian’s learned from experience after sleeping in the same bed with him for five plus years that no one should ever shake Mickey awake. Or yell to wake him up. Or sneak up on him. Mickey’s always been hyper aware of his surroundings, it was never something he concerned himself with, ignoring the panic that reached up his throat with surprises. Though recently, Ian told him he has symptoms of PTSD rather than just being cautious. 

“Alright,” Mickey nods, “How many people?” 

“Just my family. I called Mandy but-” 

“She’s working, I know.” 

“She said happy birthday. Kev and Vee obviously. Tami,” Ian squirms in his seat like he’s nervous. 

“Right, well, can’t sit out here forever.” 

The minute they step into the bar, everyone screams surprise. 

Ian was right, that wouldn’t have been good for anyone had Mickey not known. 

“Uncle Mickey!” Franny screams and hugs his legs, “I made you a card!” She presents a card covered in glitter, depicting two stick figures holding guns and bags of money. 

For the second time today, Mickey has to stop himself from crying. Bending down to hug her, he pats her hair and tells her he loves it. 

“Uncle Ian helped!” 

“Did he now?” Mickey raises an eyebrow at his husband, who nods proudly at his niece. 

“Happy birthday, Mick!” Tami calls out, rocking Freddie in her arms. 

Mickey nods and immediately gravitates to the bar, sitting down next to Lip, who’s playing with Freddie’s fingers. 

Kev sets down a beer, “On the house for family, dude.” 

Mickey takes it, trying not to show his unease, he grumbles, “Thanks,” before turning his attention to Ian who’s bending down and talking to Franny and Liam. 

“Hey, Mickey,” Lip greets, distracted. 

“Yo,” Mickey’s about ready to comfortably sit in silence, just enjoying watching on the outskirts as his in-laws mingle. 

“Ian tell you about the party?” Lip asks nonchalantly. 

“Uh, yeah. Right before.” 

“Knew he would. While we were fucking putting it together, he-” 

“Wait, hold on,” Mickey interrupted him, “You helped plan this shit?” 

Lip deadpans, “Uh, yeah. Well, obviously Ian said he wanted to do something for your birthday but I figured we should have it here, you know. With family.” 

Family. 

He remembers the kitchen conversation, it feels like it happened so long ago. The sinking feeling in his stomach when Lip told him he wasn’t family. To a degree, he understood what he meant, but he still felt the words hit his chest like a bullet. 

“Thought I wasn’t family,” Mickey teases, watching as the realization dawns on Lip, recognition enveloping his eyes. 

“Shit, Mickey, that wasn’t-” Mickey cuts him off by waving a hand. 

“It’s alright, shithead. Don’t give a shit,” Mickey lies, he does give shit, many in fact, but he doesn’t need Lip knowing that. 

“Sure, but you are family, you know that, right?” Lip doesn’t make eye contact with him, just continues playing with his son's fingers.  

Mickey sits on the bar stool, trying to cope with the knowledge that all of these people-these stupid fucking Gallaghers and Balls and Tamiettis-care about him enough to throw him a surprise birthday party. 

His fucking family. 

Ian apparently takes notice of his discomfort and walks over to him, Franny on his hip, “Hey, you good?” With the hand that isn’t holding up a six year-old, he rubs his back, eventually resting his palm on the nape of his neck. 

Mickey nods, “It’s just a lot, man.” 

Ian nods, “I know. Do you wanna go?” 

Mickey shakes his head, staring at the sleepy Franny who buries her head into Ian’s shoulder, her cheek squished on his collarbone. 

“Nah, I’m good,” Mickey says as Franny stretches out her arms, opening and closing her fists. 

“You wanna go with Uncle Mickey instead?” Ian asks her. 

When she nods, he kisses the top of her head and passes her to Mickey. Ian giggles as Mickey’s eyes go wide then soften, his shoulders relaxing as Franny peacefully transitions from one Uncle to the next, blissfully unaware of Mickey’s internal panic. 

“Happy birthday, Mickey,” Ian kisses his cheek and leans into his side, sliding an arm around his torso. 

“I think it might be.”