#ralvez fluff

[fortheloveofwonderland]

A Chuisle Mo Chroi (Pulse of My Heart) | Ralvez

A Chuisle Mo Chroi (pronounced Mu Kooish-La Mu Kree) Irish term for Pulse of my Heart.

Summary - Spencer chronicles his unrequited love for his best friend in the form of letters to his mom. But when she meets the person Spencer has detailed to her, what happens when she inadvertently confesses her son's feelings for him?

A/N - Yes I mixed up the timeline. Just pretend the episode “300” happened after the episode “Luke”. Prison arc didn’t happen but Spencer’s mom was still moved to DC and Spencer still starts teaching. Also I don’t speak Irish. I googled terms of endearment from around the world and enjoyed this one the most. Thank you my darling @sassymoon for being my beta!

Anon request - Hi! Since you opened your requests I wanted to ask if you could write a sweet fluff fic/blurb for Spencer x Luke with them confessing their feelings and maybe having their first kiss? ❤️

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Luke Alvez

Category - fluff

CW - unrequited love, pinning Spencer, references to 1406 “Luke” and 1401 “300”, a single F-bomb, case related stuff, bisexual Spencer, first kiss.

WC - 5.4K

Spencer Reid loathed the term momma’s boy. Sure, he was close to his mom, when you grew up without a dad you clung to what you had left. Even if his mom didn’t recognise him half of the time, she was the only person in the whole world who understood him. When she was lucid at least.

Throughout high school all the much older kids had always referred to him as such due to the fact he spent so much time at home. What they didn’t know was that he spent all that time at home because he was looking after his mother. But he never told them as much, he’d rather them call him that than admit the truth to them. 

When he moved to Virginia to join the BAU he wrote her a letter every single day. He told her everything, all the ins and out of the team, vague case details without getting graphic. He documented his meals, what books he’d read and everything else he could jam onto the page. 

Over time life got in the way. His letters started becoming weekly, then monthly until the point when he’d forget the last time he’d put pen to paper and sent his mother one of the letters she loved so much. 

He had to make more of an effort. She adored his letters, it allowed her to feel like she was there with him, embarking on his adventures alongside him. Spencer often thought they might be her last tangible grip on reality. So regardless of how tired he was, how busy he was, he ensured he would try to sit down at least once a week and write his mother a letter. 

As of late his letters had revolved mostly around one topic, giving Spencer the opportunity to get his feelings out on paper so as to never have to admit them out loud. He was sure he’d written research papers shorter than the letters he was penning these days, and he was sure given his moms declining mental state she wasn’t reading them and if she was, she would surely not remember anything he had to say in those pages. 

It was cathartic, almost like keeping a journal. He found the words flowed so easily when he had that particular subject matter on his mind. 

We were on a case in New York this week, as usual I won’t go into detail. We caught the guy though, you’ll be pleased to know. 

On the second day we were in the police precinct in Central Park and we both went to reach for a case file at the same time. Their hand brushed against mine and I swear I heard fireworks going off somewhere. Which is absurd because it was the middle of the day and of course there weren’t fireworks going off. But it happens a lot. 

When they look at me I’m sure I can feel my IQ level drop in half. When they smile at me it’s like the whole world lights up. And those accidental touches make my heart race and make me feel giddy. 

I know I’ve spent a lot of time in these letters talking about them recently and I’m sorry if it’s boring you. But I think I’m falling in love, mom, and I don’t know who else to talk to about it. Scratch that, I am in love and that terrifies me because they don’t look at me that way. 

They’re one of my best friends, my teammate. I don’t even know if they like…it doesn’t matter. I just know I should not be feeling this way about them and I have to get these thoughts out of my head. I’m sure you’re not even reading these so you’ll never know anyway, but I feel lighter for having written it down. But just in case you do read these, I’m too scared to say their name. 

Most letters read in the same vein. Spencer’s unrequited love was clouding his brain, causing him to be slower at making deductions and he feared it would hinder his work. Writing down his inane thoughts helped. Even if no one was reading them. 

***

Hey mom, 

Me again. We got back from a case in Ohio yesterday and Rossi invited us all over his place. 

You know me, I’m not a big drinker, I had two glasses of wine but that was enough for me. Also I don’t trust myself around them when alcohol is involved, inebriation would loosen my tongue and I’m worried about what I might say. Those kinds of confessions are only for my letters. 

They had quite a bit to drink though, I was watching them. I’m always watching them, it’s like I can’t stop myself. But I swear every time I looked up at them, they were looking right back at me smiling. 

They even found me on the back patio while I was getting some air. 

“Hey Spence, what are you doing out here?” 

That’s what they said. There’s something about people calling me by nicknames that makes my heart soar. There’s no scientific data to back that up, love is all in the brain not the heart. It’s simply my brain releasing oxytocin and vasopressin, giving me a surge of positive emotions every time I see them. 

Or hear them call me Spence. 

“Just getting some air.” I told them, trying to ignore the way they were looking at me.

I don’t know how to describe it, it was like they were seeing me for the first time, really seeing me. It was as though the alcohol actually helped them see clearer, the way they looked at me, I just can’t describe it. But for a split second, I actually believed they might feel the same about me. Of course that was completely foolish of me to think but just for a moment I allowed myself to succumb to the fantasy. 

“I uh…I wanted to talk to you about something.” 

When they said that and stepped closer to me, I’m sure I saw a hint of nerves in their eyes and my breath caught in my throat. But then it got even stranger. 

“Oh, you’ve got something…let me.” 

Then they reached forward and brushed something off of my cheek. We’ve touched accidentally before but I think that might be the first time they’ve done it deliberately. I wish I could accurately describe to you the way their fingertips felt as they brushed against my skin but I’m not sure there are enough words in the English language. Or in any of the other languages I can speak. 

There is a saying I recently learnt which comes close. It’s an Irish term “a chuisle mo chroi” which essentially translates to “pulse of my heart.” That’s what they feel like. They are a part of what keeps me alive. It’s the only thing I know how to say in Irish, but it seemed fitting. 

Anyway, they never did get to tell me what it was they wanted to say because someone else joined us on the patio and soon we all called it a night. 

I’ll never forget the look in their eyes though. 

All my love,

Spencer

***

Hey mom,

Another letter for you. I realised recently I’ve spent so much time talking to you about a certain person and I don’t remember the last time I asked you how you were doing. I’m sorry for that. How are you? How is Bennington? I hope to get time to visit you soon. 

We had a pretty rough case recently, one that affected someone on the team personally. I won’t give you a prize for guessing who. 

I’ve never seen them like this before, I was genuinely scared they would do something to jeopardise their place on the team. They lost an old friend in the process and I’m scared it might tip them over the edge, that there may be no coming back from this for them. 

It’s not my job to comfort them though, as much as I wish it was. I’m sitting here at my desk after everyone else has left for the night writing this letter so I don’t go after them. Because they already have a person to be their shoulder to cry on, and it isn’t me. 

I think I’ve failed to tell you that before and maybe I just didn’t think it was necessary or maybe it was a deliberate choice, I’m not sure. They already have their own a chuisle mo chroi which makes my feelings even more redundant. 

Thus far I’ve done a really good job at not allowing myself to dwell on these feelings except for when I write you these letters. But lately they’ve started to consume me and I don’t know how to make it stop.

They are all I think about. When I’m at home alone, I imagine what they are doing and it makes me sad. They’re probably cooking dinner for their partner, maybe cuddled up on the couch watching a movie or maybe even in bed…I won’t finish that trail of thought. 

It hurts me to see them everyday and know they will never be mine. I value our friendship too much to risk losing it all over these feelings I have for them but I worry those feelings are slowly destroying my soul. They’re right there, right in front of me and I can’t have them. I never will. They will never be mine. 

I’m sorry about this. If you’re reading these I hope my words don’t make you worry. I’m fine, really, I’m just having a hard time right now. But I’ll be ok, I always bounce back don’t I? 

I love you mom, speak soon. 

Spencer 

***

Hey mom,

Sorry I haven’t written in a while, things got really crazy. I won’t go into detail because I don’t want you to worry about me but…

��you aren’t reading these letters, I know you’re not. So I suppose it doesn’t really matter if I go into detail. 

I was abducted. Kidnapped. We arrested a cult leader and failed to see that one of his disciples worked for the FBI. She took Garcia, and I tried to save her, because you taught me to be the kind of man that does that. But it resulted in her taking me too.

If you are, on the off chance, reading these, I need you to know I’m ok. I’ve got some bruises but I’m mostly ok. If it wasn’t for the team I might not have been, the cult wanted to make me their three hundredth victim. 

For as long as I live, I will never forget the way they looked at me after I was unstrapped and helped down the steps. They ran to me, panic written all over their face and if I didn’t know any better I might actually think they had tears in their eyes. 

“Oh my god, you’re ok.” 

They sounded as worried as they looked and then their hand was on the side of my face, gently stroking my bruised cheek. 

“I thought…I didn’t think…” 

It was as though they physically couldn’t get the words out. I was so hyped on the adrenaline of coming close to death that I didn’t realise it until later. 

“I’m ok. I’m ok.” I assured them although I’m not sure why I was doing the assuring. 

And then they flung their arms around my neck and pulled me so close, held me so tightly for a moment I couldn’t breathe. I was so close I could feel their erratic heartbeat and they buried their face into my neck and panted against my skin. 

For a second I was dumbfounded. I just stood there frozen. But eventually I wrapped my arms around their waist relished in the moment because I knew it wouldn’t last. And as expected, a few seconds later we were torn apart by someone calling our names. 

Is it wrong that I’d go through that whole ordeal again just to get them to hold me like that one more time? Is it so utterly absurd to say that almost dying was worth it because having them embrace me like that erased all of the fear?

I felt safe, mom. In their arms I felt safer than I’ve ever felt before. But it only hurt worse when they let go and pretended nothing had happened, following the rest of the team away. 

Unrequited love is the worst feeling in the whole world. You’d think I could handle it given everything I’ve been through. But honestly, I think it’s worse than anything any unsub has ever done to me. I really don’t know how more I can take, mom. 

I don’t know if I can keep working with them and being in love with them. 

Love always,

Spencer 

***

Hey mom, 

You’ll be pleased to know I’m feeling a little better since my last letter. It’s been a few months I know, and I know I promised I’d write every week and I’m sorry. 

I thought my writing down my feelings was helping but it started having the opposite effect. I decided to take a little time away from the BAU after everything that happened with the cult. I came to an agreement with the bureau to split my time between case hours and teaching classes at the university. I’m doing much better, my head is clearer and I’m not pining quite as much as I was the last time I wrote to you. 

It’s still hard sometimes but I’ve learnt to live with the fact the object of my desire will never love me back. We remain friends, best friends, but that’s all it will ever be. And I’m ok with that. It’s just how it was meant to be. 

I’ll come and visit you soon, I have more free time when I’m teaching. I’ll be sure to bring you some books and there’s a great little cafe I’ve discovered near the university that sells the best…

“Hey man, what are you doing?” 

A voice snapped Spencer away from his trail of thought and he lifted the pen from the paper and looked up to see Luke Alvez standing over his desk. 

“Oh, just writing to my mom.” He quickly scrambled to hide the letter from prying eyes even though most people struggled to read his chicken scratch, as Garcia dubbed it. 

“Isn’t she living in DC now? I thought you said-“

“Yeah she is.” Spencer cut him off, stuffing the paper in his satchel. “But I uh…I forget all the things I want to say to her when I visit so I like to write it down.” 

Luke was smiling at him, the kind of smile that Spencer often found himself lost in. The kind of smile he’d spent hours writing about in great detail to his mom. 

“I’d like to meet her.” He leant against Spencer’s desk, seemingly not in a hurry to go anywhere. 

“You would? Why?” Spencer frowned which made Luke chuckle. 

“You talk about her so much I already feel like I know her. It would be nice to meet the woman behind the genius.” 

Spencer didn’t think having his mom meet Luke was a good idea. Although even if she read his letters and remembered them, he’d never specified who he was talking about. But his mom knew him so well, surely if she saw the two of them together she’d be able to tell exactly how Spencer felt about Luke. Spencer wasn’t known for his subtlety. And even in her less lucid moments, Diana Reid was extremely astute. 

But nonetheless Spencer found himself nodding. 

“Uh…ok. Sure. I guess that wouldn’t be a problem.” He frowned a little. “I’m going to see her this weekend if we don’t get pulled away somewhere.” 

“I’m in.” Luke beamed brighter than Spencer had ever seen. 

“You uh…you don’t have plans with Lisa?” 

Luke chuckled, leaning forward and patting Spencer’s shoulder. 

“I know you’re not here all the time, Doc, but have you been living under a rock? Lisa and I split up months ago.” 

Spencer hated the way his heart seemed to do somersaults in his chest at this. How had he missed that? Had he been so consumed in the overwhelming unrequited love he was feeling that he’d completely missed what was going on around him? 

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” Spencer hoped his voice didn’t give away how unsorry he was. 

“It’s ok, these things happen. She wasn’t a, uh, good fit for me.” His eyes seemed to sparkle as he spoke but Spencer didn’t know why. He chose to ignore it. “You heading out?” 

“Yeah, sure.” Spencer nodded, grabbing up his things and shutting off his computer before following Luke over to the elevators. 

And he only had a handful of heart palpitations in the process.

***

The weekend rolled around without a case and as promised, Luke accompanied Spencer to visit his mom. 

Spencer made a point of not hanging out with Luke outside of work, not unless the rest of the team were involved anyway. Over the years Luke had asked Spencer to grab a beer with him on multiple occasions but Spencer always made up an excuse as to why he couldn’t go. 

He knew it was only due to the fact that he was the only other guy on the team around the same age as Luke. Although that did offer up some confusion as to why he still asked even after Simmons joined the team. Maybe because Matt was married with kids, Spencer didn’t have anyone to go home to, much like Luke, until he’d met Lisa anyway. And once he met her, the invitations stopped coming. 

Luke picked Spencer up at ten am on the dot, just like they’d planned, he even brought Spencer coffee from his favourite coffee shop down the street with the perfect amount of sugar. If he wasn’t already smitten with this man, he would have been now. 

Luke drove and they listened to the radio as they travelled to Diana’s facility, giving Spencer something to focus on that wasn’t the close proximity to Luke he found himself in. They made idle chit chat, it wasn’t lost on Luke how Spencer wouldn’t look at him. 

When they pulled up in the parking lot of Diana’s facility, Luke cut the engine and turned to face the younger man. 

“Does this make you uncomfortable? If you don’t want me to meet her I can just wait in the car.” Luke questioned him. 

“No, no I can’t ask you to do that after you’ve driven me out here.” Spencer shook his head.

“I don’t mind. It’s nice to actually spend some time with you outside of work.” Luke felt his cheeks burning as he spoke. 

Spencer frowned, noticing the way Luke reddened although he wasn’t sure why. 

“I’m just worried what state she might be in. I don’t want you to meet her if she’s erratic. And as of late she’s been like that quite a lot. She barely even knows who I am half of the time.” Spencer changed the subject. 

“How about I come in with you and I’ll hang back while you see how she is. If she’s not in a good state I’ll wait in the car.” Luke’s blush faded and he smiled at Spencer. 

“Yeah, I guess that works.” He nodded, quickly getting out of his seatbelt and exiting the car. 

Luke followed him across the parking lot and up the front steps of the building. He noticed the way Spencer clenched and unclenched his hands at his sides as he walked and it only then occurred to him what this must be like for him. It must take its toll, never knowing what state he would find his mother in, never knowing if his own mom would recognise him until it was too late. 

Luke prayed in his head that today his mother would know who he was. He didn’t want Spencer to suffer that embarrassment with him here to witness it. 

Spencer went on ahead into the day room while Luke hung back. He’d never been overly religious, not the way his parents were anyway, but what took place next might just make a believer out of him after all. 

He watched Spencer tentatively approach the woman Luke recognised from the photograph on his desk. She was in an armchair in the window, her head in a book so much like her son. She looked up when she heard movement, looking up at the man standing before her. A few seconds passed before she suddenly leapt to her feet, throwing her arms around Spencer.

“Spencer!” Luke heard her call. “Oh how I’ve missed you.” 

The size of the smile that broke out in Luke’s face could only be beaten by Spencer’s own. Spencer hugged his mother back while Luke watched, his heart feeling like it was floating out of his body. When the hug ended, Spencer turned to Luke with a smile and motioned him over. 

“Mom, this is my friend Luke. Luke Alvez. We work together at the BAU.” Spencer tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible as he introduced Luke. 

“It’s so nice to meet you Mrs Reid, I’ve heard so many things about you.” Luke held out his hand which Diana shook. 

“Luke…” she mused as the three of them took a seat. “I’m sure Spencer has told me about you but the name doesn’t ring a bell.” 

“Sure it does mom, I’ve told you about the whole team.” Spencer hated using his mothers memory loss to his advantage because she was right, he’d never mentioned Luke, not by name anyway. 

“Well if you say you have, you must have.” She gave Spencer a look that told him she didn’t believe him. 

“How are you finding it here in DC?” Luke spoke, sensing a strange tension between mother and son and trying to ease it. 

“Oh you know, dear, a nuthouse is a nuthouse, no matter the city.”

“They prefer the term psychiatric facility, mom.” Spencer rolled his eyes. 

A nurse came over and offered them drinks. Diana opted for chamomile tea, they didn’t encourage coffee drinking for the residents, while Spencer and Luke both took the caffeine route. Once the three of them were alone, Spencer spoke again. 

“This is the best I’ve seen you in a long time. You seem…clear.” He said for lack of a better word.

“I feel clear.” Diana nodded with a soft smile that Luke thought was the spitting image of her sons. “The doctors say it won’t last but it’s a nice reprieve.” 

“I can only imagine.” Spencer sniffed a little and Luke couldn’t help but reach out and place his hand on his arm. 

Spencer turned to look at him, unshed tears behind his eyes. Diana looked between them, a small smirk tugging at her lips as she watched the way her son and Luke looked at each other. 

“Friends you say?” Diana spoke up, causing Luke to quickly pull his hand away. 

“Yes.” Spencer nodded, swallowing thickly. Really good friends.”

“Some might even say best friends.” Diana shook her head in amusement. “Sorry my memory is not what it used to be. So you met at work?”

“Yeah, I’ve been at the BAU for almost three years now.” Luke answered. 

“What did you do before?” 

“Mom, it’s not the Spanish Inquisition.” Spencer scolded her. 

“It’s ok.” Luke laughed with a shake of his head. “Before the BAU I worked for the Fugitive Task Force, man hunting I suppose. And before that I was in the military, the 75th Rangers.”

“You served overseas?” 

“Yeah, I did a tour in Iraq and a couple in Afghanistan.” 

“Your father was a soldier.” Diana didn’t ask, she stated. She always had been good at reading people. 

“He was, yes.” Luke smiled, so many things about Spencer making so much sense now he’d met his mother. 

“Ok, can we stop grilling my friend now?” Spencer interjected. 

“It’s not grilling, Crash, it’s getting to know him. He’s clearly important to you.” Diana spoke like she was speaking to a small child. 

Spencer couldn’t help the blush that spread to his cheeks and he tried to hide it from Luke and looked down at his lap. 

“Yeah he’s important to me, he’s my friend.” He emphasised the last word. 

“Do you know you’re the first “friend” Spencer has ever brought to meet me?” She used air quotes around the word friend and Spencer wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

“Mom!” He cried in exasperation. 

“What? It’s true.” She shrugged, not perturbed by Spencer’s tone. 

Thankfully their drinks were brought over and Spencer managed to direct the conversation onto literature and what she’d been reading lately. 

Luke took a backseat just content to listen. Spencer wouldn’t make eye contact with him anymore and Luke didn’t know why. He thought he was missing something but he just couldn’t pinpoint what. 

**

After a few hours of conversation with Diana she started to get tired and the boys decided to let her rest. Spencer excused himself to use the bathroom before the drive back into the city. 

Once they were alone together, Diana’s eyes sparkled as she looked at Luke. 

“So you must be the one.” She clapped her hands together in excitement. 

“The one?” Luke’s brows knitted together. 

“The one in Spencer’s letters!” She looked so pleased, not deterred by Luke’s obvious confusion. “Oh I must have hundreds of them detailing this mystery person. But it has to be you. You’re the best friend my son is in love with.” 

Luke felt his breath hitch in his throat as he stared at the older woman in shock. The combination of the schizophrenia and altzeimers often made her confused, that’s all this was. Luke just had to be delicate in how he approached this, not wanting to call her crazy to her face. 

“Uh…I don’t think so.” He tried to laugh it off. “Maybe you’re mistaken?”

“Oh no, Spencer is very clear in his letters about being in love with his best friend. A member of the team.” She leant forward, her elbows on her knees. 

“Uh…he might be talking about JJ. Definitely not me.” Luke shook his head. 

“My son is incredibly smart.”

“He is.” Luke agreed. 

“If he were talking about a woman he would have said she. But in every single letter he used gender neutral pronouns. He wouldn’t do that unless…” she trailed off, eyes sparkling at Luke. 

“Spencer isn’t…I uh, I don’t think that he’s…” he scratched the back of his neck. 

“Don’t worry, dear. He never came out to me either. But a mother always knows.” She tapped the side of her nose. 

Before Luke could reply, not that he knew how to reply, Spencer returned, offering Luke a smile. 

“Are you ready to go?” 

“Yeah, sure.” Luke nodded, pushing himself to his feet. “It was nice to meet you Mrs Reid.” 

“Oh please,” she smirked, standing and pulling Luke into a tight embrace. “Call me Diana.” 

Spencer hugged his mom goodbye and soon the two were leaving again. They made it out to the front of the building and as Spencer was heading towards the parking lot, Luke’s voice stopped him in his tracks. 

“Your mom told me about your letters.” 

Spencer’s back straightened and he took a breath before he slowly turned back to face Luke. 

“Letters?” He tried to buy himself some time. 

“Yeah.” Luke took a few steps closer to him. “The ones where you told her about your best friend who you're in love with.” 

“Ah.” Spencer sighed. “Those letters.” 

“I tried to tell her it was probably just JJ.” Luke looked suddenly serious, his jaw set. 

“Uh yeah.” Spencer nodded. “You got me. I’m in love with JJ. Really awkward, please don’t tell anyone.” 

Spencer turned to leave again but then Luke’s hand was circling his wrist, keeping him in place. 

“You didn’t use gender specific pronouns.” 

“So?” 

“So why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know.” Spencer shook his head. It was no wonder Luke was so good at getting criminals to confess to their crimes because he was making Spencer want to confess too. 

“Yeah, you do.” Luke shrugged. “You never told me you were gay.” 

“I…I’m…not?” Spencer sighed, scrunching his nose. “Bisexual maybe? I don’t really know what I’d call it, which I guess is why I’ve never told anyone.” 

“So you’re in love with a guy, who is your best friend and that you work with?” Luke clarified. 

“It would seem so.” Spencer felt his heart start to race. “And I inadvertently outed myself to my mother and then to you. So it’s a good day to be me.” 

“I mean that only leaves three people.” Luke’s brow furrowed. “You’re not that close to Matt, and I would think Rossi was too old for you.” 

“Would you believe me at all if I said it was Anderson?” 

“Your mom didn’t know my name.” Luke seemed to ignore him, stepping even closer to him. “Your mom didn’t know my name because you never mentioned it did you? You spoke about me but never said my name.” 

“Fuck,” Spencer hung his head. “Fine, the secrets out, ok? God I didn’t even think she was reading those letters!”

Luke swallowed and raised his hand to cup Spencer’s jaw, lifting his face so he would look at him. 

“What are you trying to say, Spence?” 

Spencer tried to ignore the way his heart did a cartwheel at the way Luke was touching him and the use of his nickname. 

“Please just keep in mind that I don’t want to lose you ok? You’re one of my best friends and I don’t want things to be weird between us.” Tears swam in his eyes. 

“Just say it.” Luke croaked. 

“I…goddamnit,” his first tear fell. “I’m in love with you, Luke. I’m sorry.” 

“Why are you sorry?” Luke kept his hand on Spencer’s face. 

“Because I just ruined our friendship, right?” 

Luke surprised him when he laughed, moving even closer still to him. 

“You know you aren’t the only one who talks to their mom about their secret crush?” Luke chuckled with a shake of his head. “Only I’m not shy in mentioning his name.” 

“You…I…I don’t understand.” Spencer mumbled. 

“Yes you do.” Luke laughed again. “You’re a genius right?” 

“Quantifiably.” 

“Well then, what are the facts telling you, Spence? All those times I asked you out for drinks, the way I can’t keep my eyes off of you when you’re in a room. The way I can’t stop looking at your lips right now…” Luke inhaled sharply. “What do those things tell you?” 

“I…I have a theory.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Hmm.” Spencer nodded. 

“Wanna test it out?” 

“Most definitely.” 

Luke chuckled again before closing the small space between them, and still keeping his hand cupped around Spencer’s jaw, he kissed him. 

Spencer whimpered against Luke’s lips, his knees buckling beneath him. The kiss was gentle but filled with so much longing it almost took Spencer’s breath away. 

It was only brief and when Luke pulled away he was smiling at Spencer from ear to ear. 

“I love you too, by the way.” He shrugged. 

Spencer made another whimpering sound and couldn’t help himself but lean in and kiss Luke again, slightly deeper this time. Luke wrapped him in his arms and held him close. 

“A chuisle mo chroi.” Spencer mumbled against his lips. 

“What is that?” Luke replied. 

“It’s Irish. Don’t worry about it.” 

Luke chuckled, kissing him again before leaning his forehead against Spencer’s. 

“Mi vida.” Luke whispered, stroking back Spencer’s messy hair. 

“I speak Spanish, you know? Mi vida means my life, romantically speaking.” 

“Of course you do.” Luke’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment. 

Spencer let out a small sigh, running his fingers up Luke’s strong bicep, over his shoulder blade and over the base of his neck. 

“A chuisle mo chroi. The pulse of my heart.” He confessed, causing Luke to kiss him once more, so passionately Spencer felt as though he was floating. 

From the window, Diana smiled to herself as she watched the two men on the sidewalk, her heart soaring for her son. She continued to watch for a moment or two, a warm, fuzzy feeling enveloping her as she leant against the window frame and whispered to herself, “A mother always knows.” 

[seashantiesandbrandy]

I know this isn’t my usual type of post but please ralvez fanfic writers, keep doing what you’re doing. You ralvez fluff/angst writers are amazing and you’re currently keeping me alive :)

[ralvezfanatic]

Not-so-secret Valentines

Spencer Reid x Luke Alvez

Spencer gets a secret valentines gift and can't exactly figure out who it's from. Luke helps him figure it out.

Prompt: "if you’re still wondering who left those flowers at your desk, i think i’m ready to put your mind at ease.” || Taken from @scealaiscoite prompt list | Changed a bit but was inspired by the prompt.

Also available on AO3

A/N: I keep seeing these prompt lists and decided to finally use one, ofc with Ralvez because I love them so much. Also.. this was supposed to be a short blurb id how its almost 3k 😭

Word Count: 2.7k

Spencer got into work early like usual, with only Emily and Garcia, except this time he walked in alone. Luke was running late. Supposedly, his alarm didn't go off and he didn't wake up on time, so he was behind schedule.

Although Spencer didn't completely believe it, he also didn't think Luke would lie to him. There wasn't any reason to lie, they were honest and open to each other.

It just felt hard to believe Luke would sleep in late when he wakes up early to go on a run before work, but mistakes happen Spencer told himself.

“Boy Wonder!!! Hellooo! Do you like the decorations? I put them in myself, came in extra early to set it up!” Garcia greeted him happily, walking up to him.

Spencer looked around the office quickly and nodded, it was decorated with hearts, streamers and all Valentine decorations Garcia could find. It looked nice, but just reminded Spencer how single he was.

“Yeah, it looks nice Garcia. Really nice.” He nodded again, pressing his lips together to form his slightly awkward smile.

“Where's Newbie?” She asked when she noticed the lack of the other agent. They've been arriving at work together for a while now, and they're always hanging out together, so seeing them alone feels odd to the team sometimes.

“He was running late and told me to go because he didn't want me to be late either.” He looked to the side as he spoke, checking out the desk which all seemed to have something on them.

Garcia looked at him for a moment, and it was obvious that she was thinking of something but decided to leave it be. “Alright then. It's a bit rude that he'd make you come alone on Valentine's Day but whatever.. he'll be hearing from me.” She said, muttering the last part as she left.

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, confused by her comment. He didn't see why'd it be a big deal. They were friends, Luke had no obligation to be with him On Valentine's Day. He has spent almost every single Valentine's Day alone, so what did it matter.

He didn't mind, not at all. It was just a silly holiday for business to make money off.. at least that's what Spencer told himself every year. In reality, he wished he had someone to spend it with. Just once at least.

Actually, he wants to spend it with Luke.. but that's just because they're good friends. Since Luke joined, they both have been wanting to spend time with each other.

So it makes sense that he wants to spend Valentine's Day with Luke. Friends could do that right? Of course they can, people do it all the time.

Maybe not to the extent Spencer wants to..

He wants to cuddle with Luke, be held and kissed by him.

But that's not going to happen, so Spencer just heads to his desk. He's met with a small heart shaped box with a hand written note from Garcia.

“Happy Valentine's Day Boy Wonder! - Garcia :)”

Spencer smiles at the note and puts it down before opening it to find a bunch of his favorite sweet treats. He makes a mental note to go out to buy her chocolates as a thank you, then carefully puts the note to the side and the box on top of it so it doesn't accidentally fly away.

He then starts to work on some files, trying to make the day pass so he can go home and eat some takeout. Alone. On his couch. Doing nothing. Being single. Again, for what he feels is the hundredth time.

Luke finally arrives to work, being the last to get in. He walks down the desks, passing Spencer and stopping to greet him.

“Morning Spence. Sorry about this morning, I have no idea what happened with my alarm.” He apologized as he stood by Spencer's desk.

“Oh yeah no problem, things happen. It's fine.” Spencer assured him, smiling up at him.

“I'll be sure to fix my phone though, don't worry” Luke added on.

He was about to say something else when he noticed the heart shaped box on Spencer's desk, his usual grin faltering slightly.

He wondered who gave him a gift. He didn't think it could be from the team. So was it someone from another unit? Did Spencer know them? Did he like them too? Did he have a partner he wasn't aware of?

Luke tried to calm down and looked away from the box and back at Spencer, who didn't seem to catch Luke's over-thinking.

“Uh, I'll talk to you later. I should probably get to work now.” Luke smiled before heading to his desk.

The rest of the work day was as normal. They fortunately didn't get called to a case, so everyone (who had plans) were happy.

Luke had a gift he really wanted to give, but he didn't have a moment to do so. Spencer never got up for long, his coffee cup had been refilled by some kind coworker, and for some reason, Spencer hadn't finished it yet.

Luke was annoyed, wishing the team wasn't so kind and let Spencer get up to get coffee himself. (He says this but he has refilled and even bought coffee on multiple occasions).

After what seems like forever, Spencer finally got up. Luke subtly watched him walk down the office and head to the bathroom. He practically jumped up as soon as Spencer entered the bathroom and took his bag.

He grabbed a small box from Spencer's favorite donut place, and another box of chocolates and a card, quickly heading over to place them on Spencer's desk.

They looked so much better than that small heart shaped box, he thought to himself.

He didn't really care who saw him, he was sure the team knew about his crush on the doctor.

He smiled, wondering how Spencer would react to the random gifts. He wondered if he'd figured it out it was from him. He hoped Spencer liked it, even if he didn't figure out it was from him.

Luke headed to his desk, sitting down right on time as Spencer exited the bathroom.

Luke pretended to work, typing at his computer and looking at a case file trying to seem distracted.

Spencer approached his desk and his eyebrows furrowed as he noticed the gifts. He looked around the bullpen, searching for who did this, or someone who seemed like they knew something. He looked over at Luke, but he seemed busy in his work, just like everyone was.

He sat down cautiously and checked the items on his desk.

He first took the card, the front being a small cup of coffee with the words “Words cannot espresso how much I like you.” He let out a quiet laugh, finding the joke amusing. He opened it to read “Happy Valentine's” with a small hand written addition and a heart.

As he read the note, his eyebrows furrowed again and he looked up to scan the bullpen once more.

Luke had been watching Spencer since he sat down, waiting for his reaction. He smiled when he saw him laugh as he read the card, glad that he liked his choice, even as cheesy as it was.

He watched him look around the office again, and he quickly looked back at his case file, hoping Spencer didn't notice him. He wanted to keep it a little secret for a while, just to mess with the genius.

He looked up again and saw Spencer move onto checking the donuts, and he felt his heart melt as Spencer's face lit up. Luke had bought his favorite donuts in heart shapes and wrote a small note on the inside of the box. “I donut know how to tell you that I love you.” with a nervous donut doodle on it. Or maybe sad? Scared? It wasn't a very good doodle..

Spencer felt his cheeks go hot and he closed the box quickly, (after taking out a donut).

He decided to check the chocolates at his house, not being able to handle any more cheesy comments.

All day Spencer kept wondering who gave him the gifts. He asked around, but got no answers, and as much as a genius he was, he was dumb too

He had a small idea who it could be, but he didn't want to get his hopes up. Spencer tried to think of everyone he knew and would get him all these items. He made a list and removed people one by one, until only Luke was left. Then he'd remake that list, thinking he was just being delusional.

Finally, around noon, he gave up. Even though he kept asking his friends about it, they would give him no response. Not even Garcia knew, and he was sure she would have helped more.

The bullpen was mostly empty, everyone seemed to have decided to go out for lunch, leaving only Spencer and Luke at their desk, Emily and Garcia in their offices.

Spencer looked at the boxes on his desk, trying to figure out this mysterious Valentines. How could he solve crimes and find serial killers, but he couldn't find the person who liked him?

Well, he had figured it out ages ago, but he just didn't think it was possible.

Spencer let out a sigh and stood up, going over to the coffee machine to refill his empty mug. He poured in some coffee, then added about half the container of sugar and stirred it.

“So.. still trying to figure out the mystery of the treats?” Luke asked as he approached Spencer with his own empty mug.

“Um.. yeah. I can't think of anyone who would get me all this, and write these little notes. I mean I barely talk to anyone! Like not to seem sad but you guys are my only friends. Other than the nice barista at that coffee shop and the people at the bookstore near my house, I don't have many non-work friends.” Spencer frowned, taking a sip of his coffee to taste it.

Needed more sugar.

Luke felt a bit saddened by Spencer's response, but kept his face the same. He grabbed the pot and poured himself some coffee, adding a normal amount of sugar unlike the tall genius.

“Could it have been the same person who gave you that other box?” He suggested with a small shrug

“The heart shaped one? No, definitely not! Garcia would have given it to me directly, and she wouldn't have denied giving it to me anyway.” Spencer shook his head, oblivious to his friends' jealousy.

Oh.

Luke felt a bit stupid now.

He should have known Garcia would give Spencer a Valentine's gift. They were best friends, why wouldn't she?

He took a quick glance at the other desks, seeing similar boxes on their desks.

She got them for everyone except him.

Ouch?

Luke turned back to Spencer who was adding in more sugar to his coffee.

“Well, I could tell you who it was.” Luke said, taking a sip of his coffee.

Spencer looked at him, his eyebrows raised slightly as he stopped stirring. “You could?”

“I could.” Luke nodded as he set his mug down.

“How would you know? Nobody else knew anything, why would you know?”

“Because it was me.” Luke replied, looking up at him, waiting for a reaction.

Spencer stared at him for a second, unable to believe what he just heard. His face was flushed and he couldn't come up with a response.

“What? You? You like me? Since when? Why?” Spencer spat out, flustered at the small confession.

Luke let out a small chuckle and nodded, finding Spencer's reaction adorable.

“Yes, me. I gave you all that, cheesy puns and all..” Luke sheepishly smiled as he remembered the notes he wrote.

“But why?”

“Because I love you. Since the day we met, I've liked you. I mean, I thought you were drop dead gorgeous the first time I saw you, but after getting to know you more? Hearing you talk so passionately about things, your intelligence, your kindness, everything about you. I fell in love.. and I fall deeper everyday I’m with you.” Luke confessed, his voice genuine and soft as he looked into Spencer's eyes.

Spencer was a complete flustered mess, his brain was useless. He couldn't come up with a response, his face only flushing a brighter red.

“Was that too much? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drop all that on you at once.” Luke apologized, noticing Spencer's silence, feeling bad for his sudden confession.

“No! No it's okay. A bit much to take in but.. give me a second.” Spencer shook his head, trying to clear his mind, and assured Luke that he was alright.

“I love you too.. You've always let me ramble on about useless information, and you even ask me about it. You look genuinely interested in what I have to say too. And you're just so kind to me. You don't think I'm weird, even when I clearly am. And you're really hot too.. Like you're hot and super nice to me! Like honestly, how could I not like you?”

Now it was Luke's turn to blush. He felt his heart melt at Spencer's own confession, but chuckled at the last part. He looked down and shook his head before looking back up at Spencer with a grin.

“You think I'm hot?” Luke asked, a smirk on his face, stepping closer to him.

“Yeah, a bit.” Spencer smiled, leaning towards Luke slightly.

“You're not that bad either.” Luke whispered, leaning in and holding Spencer’s cheek.

He looked into his eyes, silently asking for permission before going further. Spencer nodded softly, his eyes shining with love for the other man.

Luke leaned in and pressed a kiss against Spencer, who quickly melted into the kiss.

Garcia, who decided to go question Luke about this morning and see if he deserved the small box of treats she got him or not, was found with the cutest sight at the coffee machine.

She let out a squeal and dropped the box from excitement, which scared the agents and made them pull away immediately.

“Oh my gosh!! You finally confessed to him? Here I was, going to question you about this morning, but this makes up for it even better! Oh I dropped your box, but honestly that is on you guys because how could you kiss in the office and not expect me to squeal when I see?” Garcia rambled on, bending down to grab the box and rushing over to the new couple.

“Garcia-” Spencer started, but was quickly interrupted by her continuing on.

“Oh newbie I was so mad at you for ditching our boy wonder here this morning! I took back my gift too, like how could you leave him alone on Valentine's? You didn't deserve my gift!” Garcia handed Luke the slightly dented box of candy as she spoke.

Luke looked at her and then the box, and listened to her. “Thank you..” He nodded before looking at Spencer and back at her.

“I had to leave him because I wanted to get something for him as a surprise.” Luke said, feeling a need to explain himself after Garcia's rambling.

“And I think it was worth it.. I hope?” He laughed as he looked at Spencer for his approval.

“Oh yeah definitely. I didn't mind taking the train after getting those donuts.” Spencer joked, knowing that's not exactly what Luke had meant.

“See, it was worth it to Spencer, and that's what matters.” Luke smiled, going along with him.

“Ohh, you guys are so cute already.. the rest of the team is gonna hate that they missed this! Oh I should text them” Garcia smiled excitedly as she got her phone out.

Luke laughed at her eagerness, while Spencer just seemed a bit lost now, but neither did any attempt to stop her as she walked off, texting the team.

“Happy Valentine's Day cariño..” Luke smiled softly, turning to Spencer.

“Happy Valentine's Day.” He replied, leaning in to press another quick kiss to his date (and soon to be boyfriend).

[multi-fan-girlie]

heyyy, i see ur looking for suggestions for fics. what about a spencer x luke fic where one of the finally asks the other on a date, and the rest of the fic is just their date and whatnot :)?

i dont have much of an idea, but i think their first date would be cute bc they're literally in love with each other lol

Quiet attraction

authors note: thanks for the request! I'm writing so much faster now that I have prompts and ideas xx

pairing: Luke alvez x Spencer Reid

genre: awkward fluff

summary: Luke asks spencer on a date after months of crushing on him

word count: 688

MONDAY 11th MAY

Luke Alvez had been working at the BAU for a few months now, and he couldn't help but notice his colleague, Spencer Reid. He had always found him intriguing, with his vast knowledge and quirky personality. But he never had the courage to ask him out on a date. Until one day, he found himself standing nervously in front of Emily Prentiss' office.

'Hey, Emily,' Luke said, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.

Emily looked up from her paperwork and raised an eyebrow at Luke's nervous demeanour. 'What's up, Luke? You look like you've seen a ghost.'

Luke took a deep breath and blurted out, 'Do you think Spencer would go on a date with me if I asked him?'

Emily's eyes widened in surprise, and then a smile slowly spread across her face. 'Finally! One of you admit it.'

Luke's face turned red with embarrassment. 'Wait, you knew?'

Emily chuckled. 'Of course, I did. It's not hard to see the way you two look at each other.'

Luke couldn't believe it. He had been trying so hard to hide his feelings for Spencer, and here Emily had seen right through him. 'So, what do you think? Would he say yes?'

Emily leaned back in her chair and thought for a moment. 'I think he would be thrilled. He's been crushing on you for a while now.'

Luke's heart skipped a beat. He couldn't believe that the man he had been secretly admiring felt the same way about him. 'Thank you, Emily. I'll ask him out today.'

As Luke walked out of Emily's office, he couldn't stop smiling. He couldn't wait to see Spencer's reaction when he asked him out on a date.

It was lunch and Spencer was out to get his usual coffee and Luke went with and as he and Spencer stood in line Luke snakes his hand onto Spencer's shoulder and taps it gently. “Hey..erm spencer… would you like to go on a date with me.. You don't have to, it's just”.

Luke could kick himself at how stupid he sounded as spencer broke the silence 

“I…i would love to go on a date with you luke” spencers voice was smooth like honey and the radiant blush crawls onto Luke’s cheeks.

“..really? You’d want to go on a date with me?” He looks at Spencer, a smile plastered on his face. 

THURSDAY 14th MAY

~~~

Luke chose a cosy Italian restaurant, known for its delicious food and romantic atmosphere for their first date. As they walked in, Luke couldn't help but feel nervous. He had been on a date with a man before but he never felt so anxious about it, and he didn't want to mess things up with Spencer.

Spencer, on the other hand, was excited but also a bit anxious. He had always been attracted to Luke, but he was afraid of getting hurt. He had been hurt before and didn't want to risk his heart again.

As they sat down at their table, the atmosphere was a little awkward. They both fidgeted with their napkins and avoided eye contact. But as they started talking, the awkwardness slowly faded away. They talked about work, their interests, and Luke's family since Spencer wasn't so talkative about him for obvious reasons. They even shared a few laughs.

As they enjoyed their delicious meal, they couldn't help but steal glances at each other. There was a strong chemistry between them, and they both felt it. They were both surprised by how easy it was to talk to each other and how comfortable they felt in each other's presence.

As the night went on, they both opened up more and more. They talked about their fears, their dreams, and their past relationships. They realised that they had a lot in common and that they understood each other in a way that no one else did.

As they finished their dessert, Luke took Spencer's hand and looked into his eyes. “Would you be up to coming back to mine for a movie?”

Spencer raises his eyebrow a smiles “yes. Yes I would”

[imagining-in-the-margins]

CM PolyAm Masterlist

If you're looking for my S.R. Blurb Masterlist, look here. If you’re looking for my S.R. SFW Masterlist, look here. If you’re looking for my S.R. NSFW Masterlist, look here. If you’re looking for Other MGG Characters, look here. If you're looking for my Other CM Characters, look here. If you’re looking for my Works in Progress, look here.

Fluff

Three’s Company: Spencer and Reader need to ask Luke a question, but they can’t act normal whenever he’s around.

Smut (18+, Minors DNI)

Spoiled: Reader’s favorite days are when both of her boyfriends are also home.

To be continued...

[gold-onthe-inside]

masterlist

spencer reid x oc:

dr piper bishop <- track tag #oc: dr piper bishop for updates

Dr Piper Bishop is the newest addition to the BAU after Elle Greenaway's departure as a consultant appointed by Aaron Hotchner. She quickly rises to a Senior Supervisory Agent after a series of courses and successful cases. But what wasn't seen coming by her was the growth of a new family with new people to protect, finding love and with it, trauma, hurt and ghosts haunting her every move. (currently on season 7)

hemkärlek | spencer reid (s6) x oc (piper bishop) | fluff agent seaver catches spencer and piper in a moment of domesticity.

ataraxia | spencer reid (s5) x oc (piper bishop) | comfort piper suffers a bout of insomnia from overly philosophising at 4am

deck the halls | spencer reid x oc (piper bishop) | fluff, domestic caving in to the norm of the street, piper and spencer decorate the house, but their neighbours are total assholes about it.

comfortember 2024:

laws of thermodynamics | spencer reid x f!reader | fluff spencer and reader spend a rainy afternoon in, and he explains thermal equilibrium over a cup of cocoa.

just stay with me | derek morgan x f!reader | childhood friends, references to buford, hurt/comfort after carl buford is arrested, derek morgan seeks comfort from an old childhood friend.

ralvez:

ice cream never tasted so sweet | spencer reid x luke alvez | college au, meetcute, fluff spencer reid picks up a job at an ice cream parlour during the summer break but that job is quickly derailed by a cute stranger who seems to be addicted to ice cream.

spencer reid x reader:

bau!reader:

hey, december | spencer reid (s2) x bau!reader | fluff on a snowy day in chicago, spencer's terrible aim lands him in hot water with his crush.

tongue-tied | spencer reid (s2) x bau!reader | borderline smut, mostly fluff the bau notice spencer being quieter than usual, the resident genius pressed to reveal an embarrassing injury

gingerbread kisses | spencer reid (s4) x bau!reader | smut with plot if you squint your first christmas as a couple with spencer involves baking, construction, and lots and lots of kisses.

santa's little helper | spencer reid (post prison) x bau!reader | fluff after finding out henry no longer believes in santa after he missed last christmas, spencer dedicates this year to bringing the magic of christmas back to his godson's life... with a little help from you, of course.

count the odds | spencer reid (s8) x bau!reader | established relationship you reflect on the past year at rossi’s annual nye party, which brings you back to your relationship with spencer, and all the different ways your lives could’ve gone, and the odds of you both finding each other.

blake!reader:

new year's resolution | spencer reid (s8) x blake!reader | sprinkles of angst and smut the end of the year brings your life in perspective, the trajectory of your life inverse to the champagne you drink. the morning after, spencer brings you around to the idea that when one door closes, another opens.

wrong person... | spencer reid (s8) x blake!reader | wrong recipient, hurt comfort (?) spencer sends a message to the wrong person in a fit of anger... and then does his best to make up for it.

smells like infidelity | spencer reid (s8) x blake!reader | songfic, reader heavy convinced that her friend has been murdered by her husband, reader confronts him on his own... she's so sure he did it.

tough!reader:

a shot of whiskey | spencer reid (s6) x tough!reader | mild angst, domestic reader contemplates whether she's sweet enough for spencer

frostbite | spencer reid x tough!reader | case-fic spending christmas on a case is hard enough without you tracking down the unsub on your own, and tough as you are, you're not invulnerable.

postgrad!reader

make the yuletide gay | spencer reid x postgrad!reader | hurt/comfort the year's been hard, and the holidays hurt, and spencer realises maybe this christmas, comfort precedes joy.

analyst!reader

pair programming: part one: driver | spencer reid (s1) x analyst reader | annoyances to lovers, casefic you invite yourself onto a case to help penelope after an unsub runs a blackhat operation onto her set-up, getting to know your best friend's team in the process.

greylist | spencer reid (s6, post-JJ, pre-Doyle) x analyst!reader | annoyances to lovers when your celebratory drink with penelope is disrupted, you end up at a bar with the person you famously cannot get along with even if you were paid... until you do.

corrective maintenance | spencer reid (s7) x analyst!reader | annoyances to lovers, lovers' quarrel your complicated and suppressed feelings for spencer result in an argument, the blowback of which leads to a fight with penelope.

medic!reader

amelie, where'd you go? | spencer reid (s2) x medic!reader after you save spencer from his overdose after the hankel kidnapping, he's haunted by the glimpse of you.

coming soon:

[drspencerweed]

Caller ID

summary: Spencer really needs to learn to check his Caller ID.

pairing: Spencer Reid x Luke Alvez

tags/content: fluff, so much fluff, it's just all fluff, negative self talk (very slight), friends to lovers, mentions of canon typical violence (all in the background, they are working a case)

word count: 5.6k

author's note: Happy New Year y'all! surprise! I haven't written a fic for CM in so long but I came across @imagining-in-the-margins Wrong Receiver challenge/prompt and was very inspired. I've wanted to write something for Ralvez for a long time and this just felt correct. shoutout to my irl bestie for proof/beta reading all my fics, you never see these posts but you keep me going <3

read on ao3

Spencer Reid was usually adverse to any and all major changes. He knew that he couldn’t completely avoid it, because that’s not how life works, but he always hated it when his routine was upended and he had to rewire expectations for his daily life. 

Morgan leaving the BAU was one of the biggest changes he had ever dealt with. His best friend, his brother, someone he saw everyday for over a decade was suddenly not there anymore. And sure, they still texted and hung out every so often, but Derek was a new father and Spencer was still in the BAU and that made things so much harder. 

So when Hotch announced there was a new team member being hired to replace him, he should have been stand-offish. Snippy. His anxiety and discomfort was hard to hide, and the added stress of everything changing would make it nearly impossible. Garcia wasn’t helping - talking his ear off about how no one could ever replace Derek and it had only been two months and also how dare Hotch? 

In spite of all this, when Luke Alvez walked into the BAU conference room, Spencer felt at ease almost immediately. 

“Your reputation precedes you.” He had said - waving instead of offering a handshake. Spencer was shocked, and smiled despite himself. 

“So does yours!” He replied, only to go on a ramble about Luke’s achievements and qualifications. What a way to make it clear you’d been cyber stalking with Penelope.

But instead of being weirded out, Luke just listened. He smiled. He didn’t even cut Spencer off. 

Which is why, for the first time ever, Spencer was embracing change. 

(And it doesn’t hurt that Luke is easy on the eyes.) 

Much to Garcia’s chagrin, of course. Her partner in hate had been converted to the dark side, she said. Spencer was supposed to be on her side - pushing away the new guy because he sucked. And Spencer was happy to let her rant to him about whatever small thing Luke had done that day that had pissed her off, but he simply couldn’t find it in him to join in. Luke was kind, and gentle, and handsome, and one of the only people he’d ever met that didn’t immediately treat him like some kind of alien genius boy. It was hard to find anything about him that he didn’t like. 

Spencer liked how Luke always listened when he talked. He even sometimes asked follow up questions, and never tried to stop his rambles. He liked how Luke had such a strong sense of justice, and how willing he was to fight for the people on his team. He liked when Luke brought him coffee in the morning, even though it was never sweet enough. He liked Luke’s love for Roxy. He liked Luke’s ability to maintain a sense of humor even when the cases were so so dark. He liked how gentle Luke was with everyone; from the victim's family members to the UnSubs they arrested. He even liked how Luke snored on the jet home after a long case; head falling into the window or sometimes even onto Spencer’s shoulder.

He liked a lot of things about Luke. And sometimes he found himself thinking about those things even when he wasn’t around Luke. 

They were out somewhere in the Pacific Northwest - somewhere wet and rainy and cold - chasing a killer with a signature of burning the crime scenes to the ground. Which made profiling particularly difficult as most of the evidence was burned away. Spencer was staring at the map, trying to come up with a geo-profile but coming up empty. He pressed a palm into his eye and shook his head out, vision blurring as he tried to maintain focus. 

“Reid?” A voice called from the doorway. Spencer turned to see Luke there, looking at him inquisitively. “Everything alright in here?” 

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and sat at the table with the case files laid out haphazardly. “It’s just not coming together. He’s all over the place. There isn’t enough information to triangulate - plus the crime scenes are so spread out in the first place I don’t know if that would really matter. He doesn’t seem to have a comfort zone. He’s kidnapped victims everywhere from the central business district to the outer suburbs, and none of the burn sites match up either. I know we need the geoprofile for this guy because of how much has been burned but I don’t know if there’s anything there.”

In the time that he spoke, rambled really, he moved pictures around in new ways as if maybe they would reveal something he hadn’t seen yet. Luke crossed the room and stood next to him, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed in thought as he looked at the photos as well. 

“Hey man, I’m sure you’ll get there. Is there anything to the randomness?” Luke offered. Spencer watched as he turned to the map pinned to the board. “Like, does it seem disorganized or is it a counter measure?” 

It wasn’t something he had considered yet. He was so worried about finding patterns, he hadn’t been thinking about what it would mean if there truly was no pattern. “Huh.” He stared down at the smaller map in front of him on the table, labeled only with the burn sites. 

Something clicked. Disorganized, Luke said. It didn’t feel disorganized. It almost looked like the unsub wanted it to look disorganized. But the burn sites were increasingly further from the last one, in a different direction from the one before that. It was almost like an automated randomization system - not truly random, but trying hard to look like it. 

Spencer stood up with a marker and started marking things up on the map. “It’s almost like he really wants us to think it’s random. I don’t think it’s about comfort, the burn sites mean nothing to him. But he isn’t disorganized. He’s not even an arsonist. That’s a counter measure as well as a way to make sure the bodies are found. He doesn’t stick around to watch. He wants us to think he is. I think he wants us to think he’s not as intelligent - but he is. The meaning must be in victimology.” When he’d finished rambling and marking things off on the map, he turned to see Luke watching him with a smile. 

“See, I knew you’d figure it out. How did you get all of that from the burn sites?” Luke asked, stepping closer and looking at the map again. Their shoulders brushed as Spencer pointed and explained his conclusions. Luke’s eyes burned into the side of his face, but he pretended not to notice. If he thought too much about it his skin would flush red and he was already increasingly embarrassed. 

“I know you know, but you really are a genius, Spencer.” Luke said, awe in his voice. Well, fuck. There goes any hope he had of not blushing. He had been called that a million times, but coming from Luke the word made his palms sweat and heart pound. “It’s like magic how you figure this stuff out.” 

“I was completely stuck in my head until you came in. So, it’s not without help.” Spencer knocked their shoulders together, and chanced a glance in Luke’s direction. 

The other man was smiling at him warmly, and didn’t seem embarrassed at all to be caught staring. Their eye contact held for a moment until Spencer felt like he could feel his heart behind his eyes. He cleared his throat and turned away, focusing back on the table and beginning to reorganize the files there aimlessly. 

“I’ll go let Hotch know you found something.” Luke said. 

As the door closed behind Luke, Spencer collapsed into a chair at the table, taking deep breaths to try and calm his heart. 

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Spencer hadn’t felt like this in a long time. Maybe ever, if he was honest. He was in love with Maeve, of course, but that had gone from 0 to 100 with little in between. Very little room for flustering and flirting and - oh god, having a crush. 

Which is of course what this was, a crush. And if Spencer had been thinking about it for longer than a few seconds at a time he would’ve recognized it earlier and been able to stomp it out, but instead he’d simply pretended it wasn’t happening, until it grew and grew into whatever this was. Sitting at a conference table in a random city surrounded by horrible crime scene photos trying to get his heart under control because he and Luke Alvez bumped shoulders. 

Because Luke called him a genius. And it was affecting him as if no one had ever called him that before. It was so silly and so stupid. Luke was just being nice; he was one of the kindest people Spencer knew. There was no reason to give this any real thought. He just needed to not act like a fool. 

He was broken out of his trance by his phone ringing. 

“Reid.” 

“Spencer! My love! My darling! How’s it going out there?” Garcia’s voice rang out through the line.

“It’s good, you know. Slow. I just worked out the geoprofile with Luke’s-”

“Do not say the name to me. Traitor!” Penelope accused. Spencer chuckled, rolling his eyes. 

“He’s on the team, Pen. You’re gonna have to hear his name sometimes.” 

“Well of course, but I thought at least you would have been kind to me and talked around it.” She mumbled. “You know how I feel about that rascal.” 

Spencer wasn’t actually mad, and he knew Penelope’s feelings were mostly playful, but something about her tone struck a chord. “He really is lovely. You just haven’t given him a chance.” 

“Oh what because he has a dog and big muscles I’m just supposed to think he’s a good person?” She sneered. “No siree - I can see right through that. There’s something sinister under there.” 

Spencer sighed. “Seriously! It’s not just muscles and Roxy, he’s incredibly kind to everyone, and never cuts me off, and he’s really good at his job. He’s learning profiling so quickly, it’s really impressive. I think his time in the army probably helped him with that. But really, he’s just a good person. He’s got a warm heart and-” 

“Spencer Reid.” Penelope cut him off, and he realized he had gotten a bit lost in himself, talking about Luke. “Do not tell me you have a crush on Luke Alvez.” 

“Of course not!” His voice squeaked, and he winced. 

“Oh my god, you do!” Garcia was aghast. 

“No, c’mon, seriously-” 

“Do not lie to me and make this worse. You just went on for a whole minute about how kind and warm he is.” Spencer put his head in his hands. “This is the ultimate betrayal. I will give my news to Emily.” 

The line clicked as Penelope hung up and Spencer groaned and dropped his head down on his arms. How was he going to function like this? Sure, he had been functioning fine with all these thoughts swimming around for months, but he hadn’t acknowledged them. He hadn’t addressed the fact that he had a crush. An all consuming one, if he was honest with himself. He looked to Luke first in every room. He waited for him to respond whenever he presented a theory to the team before he really felt good about it. He was thinking about how he would react to his outfits when he got dressed in the morning. He had even started enjoying the bitter coffee Luke brought him, and making it that way when he was home because it made him think of Luke. 

This was going to be a disaster. 

His phone rang again, surely Penelope calling to yell at him some more. He answered without looking - “I’m sorry Pen! It’s not my fault I like him, and it’s gonna be a disast-” 

“Like who?” A voice decidedly not Penelope’s came through. So not Penelope’s, in fact, it was the man of the hour. Luke Alvez himself. Asking Spencer who he was talking about. It was playful, of course. Lovely and sweet and barely teasing but not in a mean way. Spencer didn’t think Luke could be mean if he tried. 

“Uh-uhm, I thought-” Spencer stuttered, swallowing thickly. 

“That I was Garcia? Is your phone really so old it doesn’t have caller ID?” Luke asked. Spencer could hear his smile through the phone, and his cheeks burned with his embarrassment. Somehow his mind was totally blank as a way to get out of this. 

“It has it, I just didn’t check it.” Spencer admitted, ignoring the elephant in the room and the original question. It was just his luck that within the same moment Spencer even realized he had this crush, he would fumble his way into admitting it. 

“Of course. How silly of me to assume you would read.” Luke teased. Spencer bit down on a smile. 

“Well, you know what they say about assuming.” Luke’s laughter on the other end made Spencer let the grin overtake him. 

“I didn’t know you had jokes in you, Doctor.” Spencer scoffed, ready to reply, but Luke cut him off before he could start. “I’m outside, Hotch wants us to follow a lead JJ found in the last victim’s house.” 

“Gotcha, be right there.” 

As the phone clicked shut, Spencer let out a deep sigh of relief. He had successfully avoided the embarrassment of being pressed about his crush. Now he just had to act normal in an enclosed environment with Luke and also do his job and hope that Garcia wasn’t actively telling the entire team about it right now. 

Grabbing his bag and racing out of the precinct, he hopped in the black SUV next to Luke. He held his satchel in front of him, hands tight on the bottom of his bag. His gun pushed against his hip and he was hyper aware of how his legs didn’t quite fit in the space between the passenger seat and the glove box. He felt too long, too thin, too everything in that moment. It felt like Luke was watching him try and figure himself out. Like a baby deer who had never used his legs before. 

When he finally chanced a glance in Luke’s direction, he found the man smiling at him. His eyes turned to the road quickly. “You ready?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.” Spencer said, sinking deeper into the chair. Be normal. You’ve been normal this whole time. Why can’t you just keep being normal? 

“No apologies needed, man.” Luke pulled them out of the parking lot and filled Spencer in on where they were going - a bookstore that the team believes may have been the last place the victim shopped before they were kidnapped. Spencer contributed here and there, but was more focused on breathing than being helpful. Was his nose always this loud when he breathed? Did he usually breathe out through his mouth or his nose? His chest felt like it was moving a lot. Was his voice always this shaky? 

“So, do you wanna talk about it?” Luke asked - a non sequitur from the discussion of the case. Spencer looked at him for the first time in a while - how often do I normally look at him? - and saw a shit eating grin on Luke’s face even as he continued facing the road. 

“Talk about what?” He asked. Playing dumb, maybe, but also playing hopeful. He really really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. Or at all.

“C’mon, Spence.” Luke laughed lightly. “‘It’s not my fault I like him.’ Who’s this mysterious him?” The eyebrow raise at the end of the sentence really sealed the deal, and Spencer’s fate. 

They stopped at a red light, forcing Spencer to either look away awkwardly or make eye contact awkwardly. He went with the latter, against his better judgment. Luke continued to waggle his eyebrows. “I don’t know what you're talking about.” Dear god, what is wrong with me? 

Luke just looked at him, tilting his head. The light turned green and he was (thank god) forced to look back at the road. It wasn’t enough to stop the line of questioning. “What, only Penelope gets to know the hot goss?” 

Spencer swallowed and flicked his eyes at Luke. God, that jawline. He squeezed his eyes shut quickly. Oh my god, focus. “She wasn’t supposed to know either.” He mumbled out. 

They pulled into a parking lot in front of the book store, and Luke cut the engine. Spencer hopped out quickly, gripping tightly on the strap of his bag. “Whoa, slow down Doc!” 

Goddammit. “I-I just would like to keep working on the case, please.” He pressed a palm into his eye. It was too overwhelming - realizing he had these feelings and being confronted about them all at once. He just kept moving towards the bookstore. Even if he couldn’t avoid it forever, he could avoid it for now. 

Footsteps approached him from behind, and then a hand on his bicep stopped him in his tracks. “Hey, I’m sorry for teasing.” Luke said, trying to move Spencer to face him. Spencer shrugged him off and curled further into his bag. He bit down on the inside of his lip with anxiety. Looking at Luke was dangerous, he was afraid he might give himself away. Luke might not be the most adept profiler, but he was picking things up quickly and knew Spencer better than some of the people who had been working with him for a decade. 

“Seriously, I’m sorry for prying. You said something meant for Garcia, it’s not my business.” Luke asserted. Spencer finally looked at him, still biting down hard on his lip. Even now, when Spencer wanted to avoid his feelings more than anything, the sincerity in Luke’s eyes made his heart soar. It was clear he felt genuinely bad at the idea of upsetting Spencer. 

“No I-I understand. It’s okay.” Spencer finally said. He moved his hands down his satchel strap and took a deep breath. Steady. 

“But for the record, I am not immune to the pull of gossip.” Luke smirked. Spencer smiled back. “Or, if you just need some advice. I don’t have as much success courting men as I do with women, but I’m open to being a sounding board.” 

Luke was bisexual, that was news. Be normal, Spencer. Don’t react weirdly. 

“I, uhm. Might take you up on that offer sometime.” He smiled and nodded, and Luke winked at him before turning to head into the bookstore. Deep breath. Winks don’t mean anything. Fuck.

They continued on, asking the book shop owner all the questions they needed. Spencer’s anxiety calmed a bit as he focused on work. It was easier to be normal when he was doing things that were normal. 

The rest of the case passed without incident - even though Penelope was still giving Spencer the cold shoulder. Getting on the jet to go home was a welcome solace, the team leaving as soon as the UnSub was in custody. No one wanted to stay an extra night when it wasn’t needed.

He sat on the bench on the jet, reading over a book about Northern Pacific birds that he had picked up during the case. He was taking his time with it, reading slowly and trying to commit the photos of the birds to memory. 

It was hard to ignore his hyper awareness of where Luke was on the jet - first at a table playing cards with JJ, then moving to the small cafe to pour him and Rossi a drink. That’s where he sat now, next to Rossi sipping on a short glass of whiskey. Spencer kept his focus on the book in front of him, tucking his feet up on the bench. He would not allow this silly crush to take over his brain. At least, not any more than it already had. 

“This seat taken?” Luke asked, glass freshly full and gesturing to the other end of the bench. 

“N-No. Not at all.” Spencer answered, swallowing thickly as his voice shook slightly. His eyes went back to his book, but as Luke sat within inches of his feet he struggled to actually take in any more information. 

“Excited to get back home?” As he took a long pull of his whiskey, Spencer could barely look away from his strong jawline and soft lips. 

Spencer nodded slowly, coming back to himself. “Yea, you know. Hotel beds are never as comfortable.” 

“Don’t I know it.” Luke chuckled. “I swear my neck takes a full week to feel normal again after a case.” 

“How about you? Any big plans for our return?” He finally closed his book, committing the page he was on to memory. He could be normal, he could make small talk. 

“Nah, nothing. Just happy to be back with Roxy.” Luke responded. The smile he gave Spencer was sincere and captivating. Spencer couldn’t help giving one in return. 

“How is she?” 

“Good, you know. She’s still adjusting to how much travel we do, but she’s always happy to see me when we get back.” Luke smiled into his drink. Spencer’s heart warmed watching this man become soft about his dog. It was shocking it had taken him this long to realize his feelings; everytime he and Luke talked he felt like this. Warm and comfortable and happy. 

“Well of course she is. Maybe you should talk to Hotch about bringing her with us.” His eyebrows raised in suggestion, trying to be playful and funny and normal. Normal. Like before, when I had a crush but didn’t know about it and everything was fine. 

Luke smiled back and shook his head. “She hates flying, I couldn’t put her through that so often.” 

“Isn’t she the one who’s supposed to be helping you with anxiety?” 

A chuckle, “In theory, but she’s a scaredy cat. Well, dog.” Silence lapsed over them for a comfortable moment. Just as Spencer was ready to turn back to his book, Luke’s hand reached out and touched his foot. “You still have to come meet her, you know.” 

“Dogs don’t like me.” Spencer protested. The warmth from Luke’s hand somehow permeated through his shoe, and he could swear he could feel it deep in his bones. Even this small point of contact was enough to make him blush.

“Roxy likes everybody, but especially the people I like.” Luke reassured. “I’m serious. Come grab dinner when we get back, she’ll be even more amenable because I’ve been gone for so long.” 

He could almost feel his heart beating out of his chest. The smile on Luke’s face was genuine, inviting, almost - nervous? That can’t be right. Despite his pulse racing and every instinct in him saying run, run, run, he found himself actually saying “Yea, that uhm. That sounds nice.” 

Luke’s face bloomed into a huge smile, no hint of whatever small trepidation had been there before. “Seriously?” 

A chance, now, to back out. And Spencer was so tempted to take it. What was he thinking? Going to Luke’s for dinner, meeting Roxy, being alone with him? On purpose? It made his heart race, and he was having a harder and harder time deciphering whether that was because of his nerves or his feelings. But the way Luke was smiling at him - such genuine warmth and happiness overtaking his features - made it impossible for Spencer to take that away. “Yea, I can pick up some take-out?” 

“No need, Doctor. I’ve got it all covered.” Luke nodded and bit down on his bottom lip around a smile, and squeezed Spencer’s ankle. Spencer felt his cheeks flush and hoped his excitement wasn’t too clear on his face. It kind of felt like they were planning a date. That is not the way to think if you’re going to be normal.  

The rest of the flight was business as usual; Spencer was able to read his book and even take a short nap. He was shaken awake by Emily when they landed. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he pushed up off the bench. 

“C’mon, sleepy head. We’re back and it’s not even 5:00.” Emily grinned at him, and he nodded and gathered his things. Towards the front of the jet, Luke was lingering, and Emily had to move past him as she left. “Need something, Alvez?” 

“No, no. I’m right behind you.” Luke nodded. 

“Okay well, have a good one! I don’t want to hear from either of you for at least two days.” She warned, pointing back at Spencer as well. 

He laughed a little, “Of course, Em. We’ll see you on Monday.” 

“And not a second earlier!” She shouted as she left, and then it was just the two of them. 

Luke stood by the door and Spencer gripped tightly on his bag as he walked towards him. His nerves felt unreasonable. Dinner, it was just dinner. But somehow the way Luke was waiting for him, and smiling at him, made it feel like something more. 

God, Spencer really needed to get a grip. 

They left the plane together, making small talk about the team and the case and Roxy and everything in between. The more they spoke, the more relaxed Spencer was. He could handle casual dinner with a friend. Luke offered to give him a ride to his place, and against his better judgement Spencer said yes. 

“You know, Belgian Malinois are particularly sensitive to the emotions of their owners and other humans. They’re known to pick up on changes in mood faster than most other dogs - like spikes in anxiety, sadness, and even happiness.” Spencer rambled as they drove. “Because of how smart they are, they also don’t do well if they’re understimulated. I hope Roxy has lots of enrichment toys - I was looking into it earlier and found out there are so many different ways to feed a dog to make sure they get mental stimulation. Does Roxy eat anything other than kibble?” 

Luke looked like he was fighting a grin, listening to Spencer. “Yea, I use one of those slow feeders for her dry food but she also eats some of that fancy stuff that has to be kept in the fridge. And don’t worry, Doctor, I make sure she gets all kinds of enrichment every single day.” 

 “That’s good! I was thinking that if she likes me-” 

“When she likes you.” Luke interjected, but Spencer was on a tear. 

“-I could design some sort of puzzle for her. I’d have to do more research on her capabilities but it would be an interesting challenge.” Spencer couldn’t see the way Luke smiled, watching him gaze off into space as he ranted about Roxy. 

“That would be really nice, Spencer. I’m sure she would love that.” Luke said. They pulled into a parking space at his apartment building, and Spencer went to get out of the car before it was even off. A hand on his bicep stopped him, turning him back to face Luke. “Sorry, I’m sure you already knew all that.” Spencer shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut in a tight blink. He was being normal, he supposed, his version of it anyway. But maybe his version of normal wasn’t the most attractive, if he was trying to attract Luke. That was a lost cause, be logical. Luke was....Luke.  

“I did, but I liked hearing you say it.” Luke admitted. Spencer was unable to hide his surprise at the sentiment. 

“Why?” He asked, eyes darting around as he tried to connect the dots in front of him. Of course, Luke had never once cut him off before, but he assumed that was just him being nice. Luke was always nice to everyone. But saying he actually liked hearing Spencer talk? That was unheard of. 

“Because I like you, Spencer.” Luke’s voice was quieter, nervous, hesitant. But his eyes were genuine when Spencer’s met them. It felt real, like Luke actually was saying those words to him. That couldn’t be right, though. Guys like Luke didn’t like guys like Spencer. 

He stared at Luke a moment too long, trying to piece together what to say, how to respond. This was fake, right? A prank, a dream? He must still be asleep on the jet. He closed his eyes tight and tried to make himself fly - a test of his dream theory. If he was dreaming and became aware, he should be able to control the fantasy. Fly away, fly away-

His eyes opened to see Luke still in front of him, a slightly amused smile on his face. He had not flown away - and instead was still seated strongly in the chair. This was real - somehow. “Why?” He finally squeaked out. 

Luke’s eyebrows furrowed, confused. “Because you’re you, Spence. You’re kind, and lovely, and funny, and you never fail to make me feel better after a case. And you’re stronger than anybody should ever have to be, and you’re still you, somehow.” 

Spencer was blinking faster than he maybe ever had, blushing deeply. People had told him these things before, but never like this. Never in this space where he could feel the tension growing, where their eyes were locked and their gaze was loaded. 

Apparently he had taken a bit too long to respond, and Luke’s face started to fall, closing off again. “Of course, if you don’t feel the same way, we can just forget-” 

“No! No.” Spencer protested. “I-I do. I think you’re wonderful, Luke.” His face split into a brilliant smile and Spencer matched it. Luke reached a hand out slowly, giving Spencer plenty of time to back away. His palm cupped Spencer’s cheek, his thumb rubbing his face softly. 

Spencer’s heart was racing, beating so hard he could feel it in his throat. He tried to keep his breathing in check but he was sure Luke noticed his nerves. 

“I never thought someone like you would be into someone like me. And when you said you liked someone to Penelope, I was sure it couldn’t have been me.” Spencer went to protest, but Luke gave him a short look to let him finish. His hand moved down to his neck, fingers twisting in his hair. “But the more I thought about it - I didn’t know who else you would have had to apologize for liking. And once I started letting myself think that maybe, maybe it could’ve been about me-” 

“You profiled me.” Spencer accused. 

Luke smiled shyly. “A little.” 

Spencer blushed, and leaned into Luke’s touch. His hands were gripping the strap of his bag, and had only gotten tighter as he and Luke had gotten physically closer. “I guess I’m glad I didn’t check caller ID. I would never have told you if you didn’t tell me. You- you’re not the only one who thought there could never be a chance.” 

“You’re too smart, you would’ve figured me out eventually.” Luke chuckled. His hand left Spencer’s hair to touch his hand, pulling it off of the tight grip on his bag. 

Their fingers folded together, thumb brushing over the back of his hand. Spencer stared at where their hands joined, tongue glancing out to pull his lip into his mouth. For once in his life there were no statistics on germ transfer or the risks of touching coming to mind, all he could think about was the feeling of Luke’s soft skin on his. 

Luke’s other hand reached up and touched his chin, guiding Spencer’s eyes back to meet his. “Is this okay?” His voice was so soft, it was almost a whisper. 

Somehow Spencer hadn’t noticed how close they had gotten over the course of their conversation. The center console was the only thing between them, they were practically sharing breath. It was clear what Luke was asking, not about the touch, but about what came next. Spencer closed his eyes, thinking fly, fly, fly just to test out his dream theory one more time. When he opened his eyes to see Luke there, he nodded slightly. 

Luke’s fingers guided his chin closer, and their lips melted together. 

Spencer’s eyes closed and he breathed deeply, reveling in the feeling of Luke’s lips on his own, and his fingers on his jaw, and his hand in his hand. He let go of his bag and reached up to push his other hand into Luke’s hair, running his fingers through it. Luke’s lips were soft and pillowy, but he kissed with confidence. Fingers brushed down Spencer’s neck and Luke hand found his hair again, twisting and playing with the curls at the base of his head. 

When they pulled away after a few long moments, Luke held Spencer close, pressing their foreheads together. “You’re still coming up to meet Roxy, right?” 

They both started giggling, giddy and happy. Spencer licked his lips and could taste Luke on them, and he felt lighter than he had in years. “Yea, of course.” 

Luke smiled, giving him one more short kiss before turning and exiting the car. Spencer followed, and took the hand offered to him as they walked up to his apartment. “Now you definitely have to make that enrichment toy, you know.” 

“I’ll get started right away.”

fin.

thank you so much for reading! you can find my other fics (mostly Spencer x fem!reader) here

[spritehouse]

i think transfem t4t ralvez would be cool but i would want them to be soft and i can't write fluff

[ao3feed-peterstiles]

You're My Best Friend (But More)

Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/53588833 by ems_specter “So.” Peter’s smirk was evident in his voice. “So?” Spencer replied innocently, trying to keep the blush from her cheeks. From the warmth she could feel on her face, she was sure she failed. She fiddled with the straps of her bag, silently begging Peter to let it go. The older man hummed as they kept walking. Her apartment wasn’t that far from the bar but it was still quite a walk. “Luke.” “What about him?” OR What happens if Ralvez is canon before canon happens? Words: 1803, Chapters: 1/3, Language: English Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M Characters: Spencer Reid, Luke Alvez (Criminal Minds), Peter Hale, Stiles Stilinski, The BAU Team (Criminal Minds), Original Female Character(s) Relationships: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid, Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale & Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid & Stiles Stilinski Additional Tags: Rule 63, Female Spencer Reid, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Pre-Canon: Criminal Minds (US TV) Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/53588833

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Ralvez Masterlist

Spencer x Reader Oneshots

Spencer x Reader Series

Luke x Reader

Fluff & Angst (SFW)

The Reid Effect - Spencer Reid doesn't like dogs, not even his boyfriend Luke's dog Roxy. Maybe some late night cuddles can change that. Part of the 12 Days of Shipmas and S13 Square for CM Bingo. Requested by Anon. F

Baby it’s Cold Outside (But it’s Hot in Here) - Luke is out and proud and has his sights set on Spencer. Spencer didn’t realise he could like men until he starts getting confusing feelings for his coworker. And then they get snowed in with no where to turn. A / F

Capture My Heart - Spencer Reid isn't a big drinker. A night at Rossi's and one bed makes him realise drinking isn't all bad if it means he ends up in Luke's arms. One Bed Challenge. F

In the Event of My Demise - months after his release from prison, Spencer Reid still hasn’t allowed himself to deal with the residual trauma of what happened to him. When a local case triggers his inevitable breakdown, Luke Alvez must pull Spencer back from the brink or risk losing him to his demons forever. Comfort Challenge. A / F

A Chuisle Mo Chroi (Pulse of My Heart) - Spencer chronicles his unrequited love for his best friend in the form of letters to his mom. But when she meets the person Spencer has detailed to her, what happens when she inadvertently confesses her son's feelings for him? Requested by Anon. F

NSFW (minors DNI)

Neither Fish Nor Fowl - Luke tries and fails to figure out Spencer's type. Spencer makes it clear with the help of ducks. Part of the 12 Days of Shipmas. Requested by @andiebeaword F / S NSFW 18+

A Cell Divides - Luke Alvez has prison all figured out. Until he’s introduced to his new cellmate, and he knows his heart will forever be imprisoned by the messy haired angel, Doctor Spencer Reid. Roommate Challenge. A / F / S NSFW 18+

Everyday Angel - in the midst of his drug addiction Spencer bumps into a handsome jogger who helps Spencer in more ways than he’ll ever know. Ten years later when he’s introduced to new agent Luke Alvez, there is something so hauntingly familiar about him… A / F / NSFW Themes 18+

Out of Reach - Spencer and Luke are both unhappily married to different people. But when they meet each other at a swingers party, anything can happen. Requested by @/andiebeaword A / F / S (minors DNI)

The Theory of Attraction - Spencer has been standoffish towards Luke since the moment he started at the BAU. Even once they start sleeping together, outside of the bedroom Spencer still treats him with disdain. And Luke is fed up of being just a booty call. For @reidsbookclub 1 Year Celebration. A / F / S (minors DNI)

The Kids Aren’t Alright - Break Away Unity Summer Camp was once the summer destination for the youth of Virginia, but after falling on hard times it was now struggling to stay afloat. And when a young boy goes missing, Erin Strauss knows it could be the nail in the coffin for her camp if anyone were to find out. So instead of reporting it, she enlists her ragtag team of young counsellors to help piece together the events that led to the kids disappearance.

But with her staff more concerned with getting laid, getting high and a myriad of other personal problems, getting to the bottom of what happened to one of her campers seems an impossible feat. Can they put their issues aside and work together to find the truth? Or will the mystery of Riley Jenkins disappearance be swept away with the campfire embers? Either way, it’s sure to be a summer they will never forget. A / F / S (minors DNI)

ON PERMANENT HIATUS

Chapter Navigation Under the Cut

Chapter 1 - The Kids Aren’t Alright

Chapter 2 - Unwritten

Chapter 3 - Dreaming With a Broken Heart

Chapter 4 - Check Yes or No

Chapter 5 - Don’t Let Me Get Me

Chapter 6 - You Might Have Noticed

Chapter 7 - In Between

Chapter 8 - Mr Nice Guy

Chapter 9 - Happy Unhappy

Chapter 10 - Only Young

Chapter 11 - Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year

[bludemons]

ʀᴀʟᴠᴇᴢ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

* - smut

We're not gonna leave you

Collared Up *

[ralvezfanatic]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

shdhaiaj picking these were surprisingly hard

1. Kiss me! Kiss me!! Kiss me again!!!

2. Sleepy

3. Not so secret Valentine's

4. First Bite

5. Arrhythmia

[multi-fan-girlie]

do u think you could make another pt to the ralvez fic? it was cute and I'd love to see how theyd be when watching a movie <33 like cuddling, kissing orrr idk other stuff

Quiet attraction Pt.2

part one

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Authors note: This is my first time writing a part 2 i hope it reads alright

paring: luke alvez x spencer reid

genre: fluff

Summary: luke brings spencer back to his after their first date

word count: 593

They leave the restaurant, holding hands, and make their way back to Luke's place. They're both excited and nervous, but they know that they're in good hands with each other.

When they arrived at Luke's place, they couldn't keep their hands off each other.

as spencer tripped over something and fell on the couch he jumped into Luke's arms hearing a loud prominent bark spencer had tripped over Roxi and she's not happy about it.

Luke couldn't help but chuckle. Spencer was a little clumsy sometimes, but he thought it was cute. He pulled Spencer up and helped him dust himself off.

Spencer was still a little shaken up, and he could see that Roxi was not happy with him.

"I am so sorry for that Luke" he curls into Luke he is petrified of dogs after being chased and bitten by them when he was younger.

"Hey hey hey it's okay I will go put her outside she will not hurt you" he says, stroking Spencer's hair, he can feel him shaking and his breathing is fast.

"no no its fine she shouldn't have to go outside because im scared" he sits up on the couch as roxi sits in front of spencer her tail wagging as she rests her head on spencer and spencer just freezes.

"See, she's not going to hurt you"

Spencer's heart was pounding, but he trusted Luke. He reached out and gently stroked Roxi's soft fur. She licked his hand, and he smiled.

roxi barks quietly and her tail wags but spencer jumps scared at her bark "hey girl its okay you're fine" luke coos to Roxi rubbing her ears "spence... are you ok"

"I'm okay, she just startled me." He laughed nervously, but he was already feeling better.

luke smiles softly walking to the kitchen and pours two glasses of wine and walks back over placing the glasses on the table but he notices spencer is stiff as a board as roxi nussles in his legs "hey it's ok she's just being friendly"

Spencer relaxed a little and tried to enjoy the sensation of Roxi's fur. He had never been close to a dog before, and he had to admit that it was a little scary, but also kind of nice.

luke smiles putting docter who on after jj told luke it was spencers favorite tv show and cuddles him "just relax she doesnt bite spence"

Spencer was still a bit nervous, but he slowly began to relax and enjoy himself.

roxi jumps on the couch and nussles into spencer and luke

"she's fluffy.." spencer whispers "and warm"

"Yeah, she is. She's also very affectionate and loves attention."

roxi barks quietly as spencer rubs her belly

luke smiles, happy that spencer was starting to enjoy himself

After a few episodes, Luke could see that Spencer was starting to get tired.

"Why don't we call it a night and go to bed?"

Spencer nodded and followed Luke into the bedroom. He couldn't deny that he was a little nervous about sharing a bed with Luke, but he was also excited.

As they snuggled up together under the covers, Spencer felt safe and secure in Luke's arms.

"..i love you luke i have since you joined the team" spencer cuddles in as roxi jumps on the bed and lays at the bottom of the bed

Luke's heart skipped a beat.

"I love you too, Spencer. I've wanted to tell you for a long time."

They shared a tender kiss and drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

hiii!! im the polyam!ralvez gal and i just wanted to say PLSOMGOMG, Spoiled is literally my favorite fic of all time. I think I’d lose my mind if you made more

Hahah, I’m glad to hear you’re still here! I love PolyAm Ralvez… I have three potential ideas. Feel free to tell me your thoughts on them!

Funny Fluff Blurb: Reader argues with Emily and JJ about something silly. Luke backs her up. Then Spencer. Emily laments about being outnumbered.

(NSFW, 18+ ONLY)

Smut Idea #1: Spencer and Reader don’t really get along, but they try for their boyfriend Luke. He leaves them alone for a weekend and comes back to find they are REALLY getting along.

Smut Idea #2: Luke gets tired of his partners bickering over him during sex, so he instructs them on how to be nice to each other.

It’s hard for me to come up with unique M/F/M ideas since I do not like anal 🙅‍♀️ but I am also open to other ideas!

[spencers-renaissance]

The Other Side of the Storm

Summary: Spencer & Luke are not out as a couple but have to attend the same FBI gala where a young, pretty agent insists on flirting with Luke. Misunderstandings and surprising reveals ensue.

Tags: relationship reveal, secret relationship, coming out, jealousy, caught, hurt/comfort, autistic spencer, angst with a happy ending, misunderstandings, found family, est. rel., cuddling & snuggling, domestic fluff

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 2.7k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Lets pretend I didn't just disappear for a couple of weeks bc I'm BACK now yay! This is written for a prompt from @ralvezhq who asked: "Ralvez is already dating but no one knows about them yet. they get invited to some sort of FBI gala and a young, accomplished female agent won’t stop flirting with luke and spencer is absolutely not having it so he finds a way to let everyone know they are together." -- I stuck to it except that they're caught rather than willingly confessing, I hope that's okay! I really enjoyed this one, so I hope you do as well.

!!!TW: the woman is very insistent on her flirting and makes Luke uncomfortable when she touches his chest without his consent!!!

“Any particular reason you keep looking over at that table full of Fugitive Task Force members, Spence?” JJ asks amusedly, sipping from her wine glass.

“Mm, I’ve noticed you looking over there a little bit,” Tara muses. “You got your eye on someone?”

Spencer looks down and forces a laugh, but he can feel the tips of his ears turning pink, and knows that he’s not gonna hear the end of this for the rest of the night. The team have never been fond of the FBI Galas they’re forced into attending every year, and unfortunately, Hotch’s usual stunt of pulling a non-urgent case from the stack and jetting off to some far-flung corner of the country to avoid it failed to fool the director this time.

He’d broken the news to them at the start of the week, and conversation in the bullpen has pretty much exclusively revolved around the event ever since. Even Penelope, who loves seeing people win awards and dressing up in her favourite full-glam outfits, has been significantly less upbeat. She only gave him one spontaneous hug all week.

None of them, though, have been dreading it more than Spencer. The others aren’t exactly fond of the faux smiles and convoluted politics and fake niceties either, sure, but tonight he has far more to lose than ever before. Namely, the man sat just out of his direct eye line at the Fugitive Task Force table.

Ironically, he and Luke had gotten ready for the same event together. They’d stood in the mirror side by side and tied one another’s ties in the way that always makes Spencer smile and Luke had gently brushed his hair out of eyes, but when it came time to leave, Spencer called a rideshare, and Luke drove the truck, arriving at completely different times in completely different vehicles.

The thing is, that as much as he loves his team, and as much as the FBI fraternisation policy has been significantly relaxed over the last few years, no one can know they’re together and have been for the last eight months.

Even the thought of Derek or Hotch or even JJ finding out — not only that he’s dating someone but that that person is a man — makes him feel queasy.

Which is why he smiles around an awkward cough and forces himself to meet the eyes of his profiler teammates, fighting every instinct in him to run, leg it out of here, never show your face again.

“No, I’m just looking at the clock above them,” he lies, and it isn’t smooth in any way shape or form but it’ll have to do. “You know I can’t wait for this to end. I haven’t read any Carl Jung in weeks.”

Tara laughs, raising her wine glass slightly. “Now that I understand.”

“Nah, I’m not so sure,” Derek grins slyly, “I think my man has his eye on some girl and he’s just getting a little shy, am I right, pretty boy?” He quirks an eyebrow playfully, leaning over to pat him on the back, and Spencer scrambles to recover.

“Believe whatever you’d like, Morgan,” he says, bringing his own glass to his lips to conceal any tells in his expression. “Doesn’t make it any less false.”

Thankfully, the conversation is interrupted by the Director clearing his throat into the mic on the stage as he introduces the next round of awards. Spencer loses himself in the anonymity of a dark room and a clapping audience, grateful that he’s avoided this round of interrogation.

The rest of the night progresses similarly. Spencer tries to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table — and valiantly attempts to keep from blushing like a schoolgirl when their eyes meet and Luke’s lips quirk upwards in an I-tried-to-stop-it-but-I-just-can’t kind of smile — and the rest of his team rib him pretty relentlessly about this ‘girl’ he supposedly has his eye on.

Hotch tries to get the team to leave him alone, but when a group of skilled, determined profilers all a little tipsy on wine and champagne encounter a friend’s mysterious love life, it’s pretty difficult to stand in their way.

Once dessert is served, though, things rapidly go downhill.

As much as he’s been trying to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table, it’s almost impossible to prevent his gaze from straying in a temporary moment of cognitive lapse every now and then, and while everyone is relatively quiet and occupied, digging into the Belgian waffle dessert, it happens once again. This time, though, instead of a small smile from Luke, he’s rewarded with the frankly heart-stopping sight of a young, pretty agent practically sitting in his lap, trying to feed him dessert.

He looks uncomfortable, and immediately Spencer is hit with an overwhelming wave of insecurity, jealousy, and an urge to protect that strangles his breath for a moment. He stares unabashedly, no longer caring whether anyone sees him because that’s his boyfriend and an extremely pretty woman is all over him and he looks like he wants her to stop, and oh my god, what does he do?

“Is that the girl you like all over that dude?” Derek asks sympathetically, catching onto Spencer’s staring. “It’s alright, man, if she’d choose someone else over you then she’s not right for you anyway. Why don’t you come and enjoy your dessert?”

Spencer senses the rest of the team’s eyes on him, but they don’t say anything, probably from a combination of pity, awkwardness, and confidence in Derek to counsel him through it. He’s hardly cognisant of that, though, instead a roar of emotion crashing through his mind, and he has no idea what to do about it.

When he sees a perfectly manicured hand land directly on Luke’s chest, though; when he sees Luke reject her more firmly, this time pushing her away; when he watches as she clearly gears herself up for some sad protest of self-victimisation, he sees red.

Before he can stop himself, he’s storming across the room over to Luke’s table. “Hi,” he says firmly, audibly pissed off and not in the mood for bullshit, “do you mind if I borrow my friend here? I have some official FBI business to discuss with him. Thanks.”

Without waiting for a response, he grabs Luke’s arm and leads him to the corridor outside the main hall, Luke following quickly and willingly behind him.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asks with his brow furrowed, his hand coming up to gently rest on Luke’s waist as he peers at him concernedly through the dim lighting of the hallway.

“Yes, baby, I’m fine,” Luke smiles reassuringly, raising a hand to Spencer’s face. “I’m sorry you had to see that. She was… persistent.”

“She shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable like that,” Spencer insists, still feeling distressed and anxious despite the immediate situation having been diffused.

“You’re right,” Luke agrees. “And she should’ve listened to me when I told her I was taken. I’m sorry you had to see someone flirting with me so openly like that, carinõ, I know you still get insecure about things like that.”

Spencer sighs, relaxing slowly the more he hears Luke’s voice as steady and strong and kind as it always is. He steps forward and buries his face in Luke’s neck as he nestles in close for a comforting hug.

“You know I only have eyes for you, right, sweetheart?” Luke whispers softly, one arm holding his waist and another tangling itself in Spencer’s loose curls.

He nods into Luke’s neck, but doesn’t make any move to pull away, just enjoying the warmth and closeness of standing so intimately with the man he loves until—

“Spencer!” Derek’s voice pulls him violently from his sweet escape from reality and horror instantly floods him as he jerks away from Luke, staring at Derek in a nauseating mixture of alarm and trepidation.

“What…” Derek stares right back at him as both JJ and Tara come tumbling through the doors behind him, looking ready for a fight—

Oh. That makes sense. They all saw him storming towards a woman they thought he had a crush on, then pull the man she was flirting with out into the most secluded corridor surrounding the hall. Even considering Spencer’s character, he has to admit that the circumstances definitely look like he was gearing up for a fight, and everyone knows that he is not the kind of person who could hold his own against an ex-military man who chases down criminals for a living.

“You’re… not fighting him,” Derek says hesitantly, the puzzle pieces clearly falling into place for him.

Spencer shakes his head minutely, and is only thankful when Luke inches closer and wraps an arm around him. After all, he has nothing more to lose.

“You were looking at him, not her,” Derek continues slowly.

Spencer nods, unable to meet the eyes of any of the three friends standing in front of him.

“You’re dating him,” he says, still sounding shocked, his voice almost entirely numb. “You’re gay.”

“Or bisexual,” Tara offers, and Spencer takes a little comfort in the fact that she doesn’t sound shocked or upset, her voice warm and helpful. He tries to meet her eye, but he can’t work up the courage and buries closer into Luke’s embrace instead.

“Gay,” he whispers.

“Spence,” JJ says quietly, earnestly, “why didn’t you tell us?”

It’s too much to go into right now, too convoluted and long of a story for him to explain when even choking out a single syllable takes a herculean effort, so he shrugs instead.

“We were talking all night assuming you were interested in a woman,” Derek says numbly, more to himself than anything, but Spencer watches out of the corner of his eye as he shakes off the shock and comes back to himself, slowly putting more of the puzzle together as he looks at Spencer. “That’s why you didn’t tell us. We’ve been making assumptions all this time and hurting you in the process.”

“Oh, Spence,” JJ whispers sadly, stepping a little closer.

“I’m so sorry, pretty boy, I— I should’ve known or tried to be more inclusive at least, I’m so sorry I made you feel like this.”

The regret in his friends’ voices and the absence of a negative reaction brings him out of the safety of Luke’s arms slightly. His boyfriend is eyeing him with serious concern, and he tries a smile to reassure him a little, squeezing his hand.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he manages, clearing his throat awkwardly as he finally succeeds in making eye contact. “It’s a long story and I’ll tell you another time, but, uh​​— this is Luke. We’ve been together for eight months, two weeks, and four days.”

Luke smiles fondly. “As much as we didn’t expect to reveal it like this, it’s nice to meet all of you properly,” Luke says warmly, shaking everyone’s hands quickly before stepping back to Spencer and interlocking their fingers, pressing a quick but meaningful kiss to his temple.

“I’m really glad you felt able to share this with us, Spence,” Tara says encouragingly, smiling at him in that bright, reassuring way of hers that rivals Penelope in the warmth and comfort it radiates. “I’m proud of you.”

Something about her reaction this entire time has him wondering whether she already knew. He’ll ask her later when he feels less like his heart is still firmly lodged in his throat.

“Me too, kid,” Derek agrees, smiling as well. Spencer wonders whether the initial shock and numb reaction was more a response to his own behaviour than anything about him and Luke, and the thought makes him feel substantially better.

JJ grins, stepping forward and grabbing Spencer’s other hand. “Me three.”

Before anyone can say anything else, the doors are opening again and Penelope is flying through them.

“Oh! Thank god you’re all okay! You just ran off after Spencer and I left you guys to it because I thought you could handle it better than I could but then you didn’t come back and even Hotch was worried, and—” she cuts herself off as she realises everyone staring at her, and slowly she takes in the scene around her. “Oh my god, I’ve missed something. Oh my god, I missed a moment, didn’t I? What have I told you guys about having moments without me? Someone tell me what happened, please, before I explode—”

“Alright, Penelope,” Spencer chuckles, interrupting her. He’s known her for too long to expect her to cut herself off when she’s on a tirade like that. “Uh, this is Luke. My boyfriend.”

“Your… your boyfriend? Oh my god, I finally get to meet him? Wait you told the others? Oh my god I’ve missed so much!”

“Penelope knew?” Derek asks, surprised.

“Half of mine and Spencer’s mutual friends are FBI Agents, and the other half are drag queens, of course I knew,” Penelope dismisses him, “but he wasn’t ready for me to meet his boyfriend yet or even know his name and I very nicely did not go hunting to find him out because I could’ve done that, but I didn’t, because I value you so much as a friend, Spencer, and I’m so glad you finally—”

“Penelope!” Spencer interjects, laughing even more as the tension and distress he’d felt only minutes ago finally melts away fully. “Do you actually want to introduce yourself to Luke, or do you want to keep rambling about drag queens?”

“Right! Yes!” she says eagerly, turning to Luke. “I’m Penelope and it is so nice to meet you, like you don’t even know how much I’ve wanted to meet the man who has my blueberry muffin blushing bright pink in the corner of my batcave while he texts on the phone, and I know you call him carinõ because I saw a text once and it’s the sweetest nickname ever, you are just the cutest, and we are going to be best friends—”

Spencer rests his head on Luke’s shoulder as he listens fondly to Penelope rambling and his friends chatting amongst themselves and everyone getting to know the most important man in his life — the only man he’s ever wanted anything long term with, the only man he’s ever wanted to actually marry one day — and a warm, sweet feeling of contentment floods his chest.

It’s far from the way he thought he’d feel after the team found about Luke, and he savours it, holds it in his mouth for as long as he can before swallowing the memory and filing it away to treasure forever. A moment like this deserves that kind of reverence.

“How are you feeling about tonight?” Luke asks gently as they crawl into bed, tired but happy at gone 2am. He pulls Spencer into his side as soon as they’re under the duvet, resting his chin on his head as he always does.

Moments like these make Spencer smile, the kind of familiar routine that’s so essential to their relationship. Luke had figured out early on that close physical contact and firm touches make him feel safe and settle his racing mind, so they’d worked out positions that made them both feel comfortable, and now relaxing into them is second nature.

“A bit weird,” Spencer admits after thinking for a moment. “I’m happy that they know now and everyone took it well, but it’s strange. A significant part of who I am has been not only that I’m gay, but the dedication I felt to protecting that secret. And now that it’s out, it feels like something private has been bared for my friends to inspect.”

“I think that’s only natural,” Luke muses quietly, pressing a kiss to Spencer’s curls. “It’ll take some getting used to, but you’ll adjust eventually.”

Spencer sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. After I tackle telling Hotch and Rossi, it’ll be nice not to have to hide it. I’ll be able to talk about you at work and maybe even go crazy and put a photo of you on my desk.”

“Wow, that is wild, check you out,” Luke chuckles, before they settle into a comfortable silence in the warm glow of their bedroom. Eventually, he speaks up though, quiet and reverent. “I’m proud of you, carinõ. I really am.”

The words instantly make Spencer smile, a light blush tinging his ears again. He hides his face in Luke’s chest, scooching impossibly closer into his arms. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too, Spencer,” Luke replies, a happy sigh in his voice.

He reaches over and turns off the bedside lamp. His hand returns to Spencer’s hair and something clicks into place somewhere, a fundamental alignment of the universe that brings a feeling of something so incredibly right as their breathing rhythmically matches to one another and they slide into the welcome embrace of sleep.

I hope you enjoyed that! I had a lot of fun with this one. If anyone has any more ralvez relationship reveal prompts, feel free to send them my way!

Taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @reidology @spencerspecifics @tobias-hankel @marsjareau @hotchscotchh @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @thataveragenerd @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @ropoto @cmily @nudgerox @love-pyramus @notevanbuckley @downwiththedoorpoole @nomajdetective (Add yourself to my taglist here!)

[spencerreidsmiles]

Perfect Fit

Written by: spencerreidsmiles

Well hi, y’all! It’s been a very hot minute since I’ve posted a fic! This one is a request I took from the lovely @imagining-in-the-margins​ <3 

I also combined it with a request I got a while ago for prompts 31, 37, and 47 from this fluffy prompt list (I couldn’t get 47 to fit, sorry!) 

This is also my first fic that’s a Ralvez x reader so I would love to hear any feedback!

Summary - It’s your anniversary with your two boyfriends, but your self doubt gets in the way.

Content Warnings - body insecurity, self doubt

Word Count - 1880

MASTERLIST // WATTPAD VERSION

You could never predict when the insecurity and self-doubt would hit you; it always just happened out of nowhere. For someone so attached to routine, the uncertainty killed you. You could feel so confident one day and then the next, all semblance of that feeling could disappear and you would be left in this space of uncomfort and dissatisfaction, wishing and praying that you had someone else’s body. Any body but yours. 

So you were hoping with all of your might that for your anniversary - one of the only days that really, truly mattered - there wouldn’t be any of that. None of that creeping, crawling anxiety worming into your head for once. One good day was all you were asking for.  

But of course, that didn’t happen. You could feel it from the moment you awoke. It was here. You could feel it growing from the pit of your stomach like a vine wriggling its way up your esophagus. You could feel it digging itself into the back of your throat, pushing itself against the roof of your mouth, and lying dormant in wait at the tip of your tongue. 

When you walked in front of your mirror, you could hardly stand to look at yourself. Your face was too round, your skin was too uneven, your stomach was sticking out, your hair was a mess. The mirror was too bright, too large, too clear, too honest. You could see every pore on your face in the glass. Who could ever love anyone like this? Who could ever love you?

As loud as the insecurity was, you willed your mind to quiet it. It was your anniversary for fucks sake. You should’ve been thinking about the two men you were in love with, not your own stupid body. You were lucky to have found them, you knew that. But in that moment, you couldn’t think of anything but the voice in your head snickering at you and the way your body looked as you stood there in front of the glass. 

But you had to get ready. It was Sunday, so you didn’t have to work, which meant you had hours to finally suck it up and get over yourself. It would be more than enough time, you told yourself. But you had never been a good liar, even to your own mind. 

You pushed open your closet and your stomach flipped with dread just looking at all of the clothes hanging from the pole. As if you were afraid taking it off the hanger would hurt you, you plucked a hanger from the middle. 

The outfit hanging from it had once been your favorite. Luke had called you breathtaking the first time he’d seen you wear it and Spencer was at a complete loss for words. You had felt so powerful then. Now you just wanted to sink to the floor and cry.  

You tossed the hanger with the outfit still attached onto the floor. 

Plastic hangers clattered to the ground as you yanked hanger after hanger from the silver pole, your anger and frustration growing with each pull. Fabric gathered around your legs, making a pile so large that it was like you were drowning in them, your own quicksand of lace and leather. Poisonous thoughts slithered through your mind, why didn’t anything look good on you? What were you thinking when you bought all of this? Why did you even bother trying to look good, you were always going to be disgusting. 

You continued until there was nothing left in your closet except the empty silver pole. Seeing it barren and empty didn’t do anything for you. It just made you feel as empty as it was. 

You waded through the shirts and pants and jackets littering your floor and slid back into bed. All you wanted to do was hide under your covers so that not a single person in the entire world could see you. 

You stayed under those blankets for hours. The light spilled from your windows over your face, striking strips of sun on your skin. Even though you were in bed, you couldn’t sleep. The thoughts scrambled and slid through the crevices of your brain, drowning any other thought in self-consciousness. You just laid there, trying to muffle the yelling of your insecurities with your comforter over your head. 

It wasn’t until you heard the key turn in the lock that you realized just how long you had been lying there. Shit, shit, shit. Your bedroom was a complete mess, with your clothes strewn all about. A mess not unlike yourself. 

“Babe?” 

Luke. Fuck. You didn’t want him or Spencer to see you like this. You pushed the covers aside, letting them gather next to the pile of clothes on the floor. The bedroom door was wide open. In less than a minute, they would be here, they would see this, they would see you, and you would ruin everything. 

“Don’t come in, don’t come in, I’m changing-” You sprinted to the door, but your foot caught onto one of the shirts on the floor and you slipped, falling to the ground just as Spencer’s shoes stopped in front of the doorway. 

“Babe?” Luke repeated. “Whoa. Okay.” 

The silence that followed was deafening. Your boyfriends held their breaths as they stood still in place, taking in the wreck of plastic hangers and crumpled clothes.

You shut your eyes tight as you curled up on the floor. Maybe if you made yourself small enough, they wouldn’t see you. Maybe if you kept quiet, they would think you had just gone out for a moment to grab flowers for them and they would leave, giving you the opportunity to run out and come back perfect and pristine, the way you were supposed to be on your anniversary. 

You didn’t dare open your eyes even when you heard your boyfriends whispering. Hushed voices talking about you, about how you looked, about how this was the final straw, this was finally what they needed to realize that they didn’t need you in the relationship. Messy, insecure, broken you. 

Footsteps began again, but only one set. They were Spencer’s. You could tell by the faster, lighter steps. A hand reached out and brushed against your shoulder. Callused, but gentle; absolutely Luke’s. But still you flinched. He removed it. 

“Hi, baby. How about Spencer and I make something warm for us to drink and we can talk about this?” Luke suggested. He waited for you to answer, but there was a small part of you that was still convinced that if you just stayed there frozen on the floor, they would forget you were even there. It didn’t work. Luke stood up slowly, watching to see if you would move, but you didn’t. “I’ll be back soon, okay?” 

You stayed in place until you knew he was gone. You took a deep breath and then got up. The ground was comfortable, the ground was safe. It was something to cling on, but here, standing, there was too much air all around you, too many places for people to see where all your imperfections laid. You tried to get the thought of your head. You couldn’t, so you just took a seat on the edge of the mattress. 

It took Spencer and Luke ten minutes to make you some tea. It was peppermint, the best kind for calming anxiety, Spencer had told you. Ever since then, you’d kept a stock of it in the house at all times. 

When they finally came into the room, you couldn’t even look at them. You knew what kind of look they would have. It would be the same as all of the rest of the people who had seen you like this, pity, disappointment, disgust. You knew that seeing that from Spencer and Luke, the two people you loved the most in the world, would hurt more than it had with anyone else. 

They sat down beside you, making a sandwich with you as the center. You could feel your body burning as their knees knocked against yours. 

“Hey. Do you want to talk?” Luke asked. Normally, he would brush back your hair, dotting your forehead with kisses while Spencer intertwined his fingers with yours, but today, right now, they just sat there as if they were afraid to touch you. Afraid that if they did, you would shatter right in front of them. 

“I’m sorry,” you finally said in a voice barely above a whisper. You stared at your empty closet as you spoke the words into existence, 

“What are you apologizing for? You have nothing to be sorry about.” 

“I’m sorry for ruining our anniversary. For doing all of…this.” Tears had begun to drip down your cheeks, your voice slowly being ruined by hiccups and gasps. 

Luke wiped your tears away, his thumbs smudging your tears into your skin. Your tears were red hot and stinging. Why were you crying? Why were you so weak?

“You didn’t ruin our anniversary at all. Every day with you is perfect. Every single moment,” Luke said.

It was hard to hear that. It shouldn’t have been; they’d told you the same time and time again, but it was hard to believe them when you yourself couldn’t even say it to the reflection in the mirror. Even if they told you that you were beautiful, something you wanted so much to believe, it didn’t change all of the anxiety that still lingered within you. 

You just sat there crying with both of your boyfriends sitting beside you. Spencer refilled your hands with tissues as you wiped away all of the pain streaming down your cheeks. 

“How could you love me when I look like...like this?” you said helplessly. “Look at me. 

“How could we not?” Spencer asked. “You’re the perfect fit for us.”

“You have so much love to give that there needs to be two of us to handle it all,” Luke added.  

Through tears, you managed a laugh. It was an ugly laugh, one that sounded halfway between choking and crying, but a laugh nonetheless. 

“There’s that beautiful laugh. I missed it,” Luke murmured. He looked at you with the most beautiful gaze, one filled with pure warmth and love. “You are so much more than what you think you look like. You are the best partner Spencer or I could have ever asked for, and nothing will ever change that.”

“You’re not alone, Y/N. Luke and I are here, always,” Spencer said with total sincerity. “We are never going to leave you. We promise.”

“You’re both just a couple softies,” you said with the first honest smile you had smiled today. 

“That’s right,” Luke agreed. “A couple of softies who love you for exactly the wonderful person you are.” 

“We’ll figure this out together. I promise,” Spencer said. And for the first time in a long time, you really did believe that. 

He grabbed your left hand and looped it into his. Luke leaned over and planted a kiss on your temple. A comfortable warmth settled in the pit of your stomach. Nothing was solved, but that was okay. Because you had both of your boys on your side. 

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