#spencerreidsmiles

[imagining-in-the-margins]

CM Valentine's Day Fic Recs

Hey friends! I'm back with another Rec List of Fics revolving around Valentine's Day! As always, big thanks to my friends and @dreatine in particular for your recommendations!

If you write/already have a fic about Valentine's Day please let me know and I’ll add it here! Any and all (legal) pairings/ships allowed.

S.R./Fem!Reader NSFW

Saint Valentine by @imagining-in-the-margins: Spencer spends Valentine’s Day with Reader.

Of Lace and Love by @squiggledrop: It is Valentine’s Day, and Spencer has a romantic night planned for Reader, but she has other plans in mind.

A Hallmark Affair by @andiebeaword: For two years, Reader flirts with and buys presents for her crush. Little does she know a single card is what’ll make him snap.

Dr. Reid’s Lonely Hearts Club by @beelmons: [PolyAm, Spencer/Reader/Hotch] When everyone gets the evening off, only three people remain in the office, the lonely hearts come together to not feel so alone on the most romantic day of the year.

S.R./Fem!Reader (SFW)

Maddening One, My Goddess by @imagining-in-the-margins: Spencer hooked up with a goddess on February 13 and almost immediately comes to regret it when he attends a pre-planned Valentine's Day blind date.

Got a Crush On You by @andiebeaword: Spencer is dating again. Reader sabotages every one.

Love Notes & Lipstick Kisses by @andiebeaword: Spencer hated Valentine’s Day. Reader decided she wanted to make this one special for him.

The Not Valentine's Date by @kingdom-by-the-sea: Mutual pining, an office bet, and baby sitting make for an interesting Valentine’s Day between Spencer and Hotch’s daughter.

My Sweet Valentine by @samuel-de-champagne-problems: Spencer finds himself thinking about his firsts…and the one he has yet to accomplish.

One Love Token by @judeswhore: Spencer is more than happy about his not-so-innocent valentine’s day gift.

Closing Time by @radiant-reid: Spencer hasn't ever thought about how to tell you he likes you until he has a little too much to drink on Valentine's Day

Keep reading for other Characters/Pairings!

The Hunt of Love by @90spumkin: Spencer sends Reader on a scavenger hunt for her to find the ultimate Valentine’s Day gift.

A Galaxy of Love by @90spumkin: It’s Spencer and Reader’s first Valentin’s Day together.

Happy Valentine's Day by @speed-reiding: In which Spencer gives Reader a letter.

One Hell of a Valentine's Day by @moeyy-writes: In which Spencer and Reader discuss Valentine's plans on the jet.

Beautiful by @spencerreidsmiles: In which Spencer makes Reader feel beautiful.

First Official Valentine's by @babymetaldoll: Spencer has no idea what to do for Valentine’s Day. After all, he has never had a girlfriend before.

That Wasn't For You by @wheelsup: Spencer receives a Valentine that Reader intended to give to someone else.

No Plans by @wheelsup: Reader has no plans for Valentine’s Day, so she hangs out with Spencer instead. An accidental date ensues.

Paper Rings by @reidyoulikeabook: Drunken Valentine's Day with Spencer at a kid's party.

Emily Prentiss/Fem!Reader (SFW)

Daffodils by @urwarriorangel: In which Emily gives Reader flowers.

With a Turn of Phrase by @sweetmidnight: Emily was Reader's high school sweethearts but the two had to part after graduation. Until now.

Candy Hearts by @girlswholikehotolderwomen: In which Emily spends the second Valentine's Day with her girlfriend.

Aaron Hotchner/Fem!Reader

The Love Profile by @reidscanehand: (SFW, Series) Everyone in the BAU knows that Reader and Hotch are meant for each other, but they're at a loss at how to get the two together.

Be Mine by @ssahotchswife: (NSFW) A misunderstanding after a Christmas party hookup leads to heartbreak. A Valentine’s miracle may be necessary.

Valentine's Day by @hotchs-bitch: (SFW) Reader's second Valentine's celebration with Hotch.

Character/Character Pairings (SFW)

A Year in the Life: February by @gaelic-symphony: [Temily] A vignette from the married life of Tara and Emily.

Be Mine by @masterwords: [Hotchgan] Hotch is a sucker for Valentine's Day. He's' also got it bad for Derek.

A Valentine's Surprise by @justiceforralvez: [Ralvez] Spencer surprises Luke with (an attempt at) a romantic evening.

[sharon6713]

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[spencerreidsmiles]

Perfect Fit

Written by: spencerreidsmiles

Well hi, y’all! It’s been a very hot minute since I’ve posted a fic! This one is a request I took from the lovely @imagining-in-the-margins​ <3 

I also combined it with a request I got a while ago for prompts 31, 37, and 47 from this fluffy prompt list (I couldn’t get 47 to fit, sorry!) 

This is also my first fic that’s a Ralvez x reader so I would love to hear any feedback!

Summary - It’s your anniversary with your two boyfriends, but your self doubt gets in the way.

Content Warnings - body insecurity, self doubt

Word Count - 1880

MASTERLIST // WATTPAD VERSION

You could never predict when the insecurity and self-doubt would hit you; it always just happened out of nowhere. For someone so attached to routine, the uncertainty killed you. You could feel so confident one day and then the next, all semblance of that feeling could disappear and you would be left in this space of uncomfort and dissatisfaction, wishing and praying that you had someone else’s body. Any body but yours. 

So you were hoping with all of your might that for your anniversary - one of the only days that really, truly mattered - there wouldn’t be any of that. None of that creeping, crawling anxiety worming into your head for once. One good day was all you were asking for.  

But of course, that didn’t happen. You could feel it from the moment you awoke. It was here. You could feel it growing from the pit of your stomach like a vine wriggling its way up your esophagus. You could feel it digging itself into the back of your throat, pushing itself against the roof of your mouth, and lying dormant in wait at the tip of your tongue. 

When you walked in front of your mirror, you could hardly stand to look at yourself. Your face was too round, your skin was too uneven, your stomach was sticking out, your hair was a mess. The mirror was too bright, too large, too clear, too honest. You could see every pore on your face in the glass. Who could ever love anyone like this? Who could ever love you?

As loud as the insecurity was, you willed your mind to quiet it. It was your anniversary for fucks sake. You should’ve been thinking about the two men you were in love with, not your own stupid body. You were lucky to have found them, you knew that. But in that moment, you couldn’t think of anything but the voice in your head snickering at you and the way your body looked as you stood there in front of the glass. 

But you had to get ready. It was Sunday, so you didn’t have to work, which meant you had hours to finally suck it up and get over yourself. It would be more than enough time, you told yourself. But you had never been a good liar, even to your own mind. 

You pushed open your closet and your stomach flipped with dread just looking at all of the clothes hanging from the pole. As if you were afraid taking it off the hanger would hurt you, you plucked a hanger from the middle. 

The outfit hanging from it had once been your favorite. Luke had called you breathtaking the first time he’d seen you wear it and Spencer was at a complete loss for words. You had felt so powerful then. Now you just wanted to sink to the floor and cry.  

You tossed the hanger with the outfit still attached onto the floor. 

Plastic hangers clattered to the ground as you yanked hanger after hanger from the silver pole, your anger and frustration growing with each pull. Fabric gathered around your legs, making a pile so large that it was like you were drowning in them, your own quicksand of lace and leather. Poisonous thoughts slithered through your mind, why didn’t anything look good on you? What were you thinking when you bought all of this? Why did you even bother trying to look good, you were always going to be disgusting. 

You continued until there was nothing left in your closet except the empty silver pole. Seeing it barren and empty didn’t do anything for you. It just made you feel as empty as it was. 

You waded through the shirts and pants and jackets littering your floor and slid back into bed. All you wanted to do was hide under your covers so that not a single person in the entire world could see you. 

You stayed under those blankets for hours. The light spilled from your windows over your face, striking strips of sun on your skin. Even though you were in bed, you couldn’t sleep. The thoughts scrambled and slid through the crevices of your brain, drowning any other thought in self-consciousness. You just laid there, trying to muffle the yelling of your insecurities with your comforter over your head. 

It wasn’t until you heard the key turn in the lock that you realized just how long you had been lying there. Shit, shit, shit. Your bedroom was a complete mess, with your clothes strewn all about. A mess not unlike yourself. 

“Babe?” 

Luke. Fuck. You didn’t want him or Spencer to see you like this. You pushed the covers aside, letting them gather next to the pile of clothes on the floor. The bedroom door was wide open. In less than a minute, they would be here, they would see this, they would see you, and you would ruin everything. 

“Don’t come in, don’t come in, I’m changing-” You sprinted to the door, but your foot caught onto one of the shirts on the floor and you slipped, falling to the ground just as Spencer’s shoes stopped in front of the doorway. 

“Babe?” Luke repeated. “Whoa. Okay.” 

The silence that followed was deafening. Your boyfriends held their breaths as they stood still in place, taking in the wreck of plastic hangers and crumpled clothes.

You shut your eyes tight as you curled up on the floor. Maybe if you made yourself small enough, they wouldn’t see you. Maybe if you kept quiet, they would think you had just gone out for a moment to grab flowers for them and they would leave, giving you the opportunity to run out and come back perfect and pristine, the way you were supposed to be on your anniversary. 

You didn’t dare open your eyes even when you heard your boyfriends whispering. Hushed voices talking about you, about how you looked, about how this was the final straw, this was finally what they needed to realize that they didn’t need you in the relationship. Messy, insecure, broken you. 

Footsteps began again, but only one set. They were Spencer’s. You could tell by the faster, lighter steps. A hand reached out and brushed against your shoulder. Callused, but gentle; absolutely Luke’s. But still you flinched. He removed it. 

“Hi, baby. How about Spencer and I make something warm for us to drink and we can talk about this?” Luke suggested. He waited for you to answer, but there was a small part of you that was still convinced that if you just stayed there frozen on the floor, they would forget you were even there. It didn’t work. Luke stood up slowly, watching to see if you would move, but you didn’t. “I’ll be back soon, okay?” 

You stayed in place until you knew he was gone. You took a deep breath and then got up. The ground was comfortable, the ground was safe. It was something to cling on, but here, standing, there was too much air all around you, too many places for people to see where all your imperfections laid. You tried to get the thought of your head. You couldn’t, so you just took a seat on the edge of the mattress. 

It took Spencer and Luke ten minutes to make you some tea. It was peppermint, the best kind for calming anxiety, Spencer had told you. Ever since then, you’d kept a stock of it in the house at all times. 

When they finally came into the room, you couldn’t even look at them. You knew what kind of look they would have. It would be the same as all of the rest of the people who had seen you like this, pity, disappointment, disgust. You knew that seeing that from Spencer and Luke, the two people you loved the most in the world, would hurt more than it had with anyone else. 

They sat down beside you, making a sandwich with you as the center. You could feel your body burning as their knees knocked against yours. 

“Hey. Do you want to talk?” Luke asked. Normally, he would brush back your hair, dotting your forehead with kisses while Spencer intertwined his fingers with yours, but today, right now, they just sat there as if they were afraid to touch you. Afraid that if they did, you would shatter right in front of them. 

“I’m sorry,” you finally said in a voice barely above a whisper. You stared at your empty closet as you spoke the words into existence, 

“What are you apologizing for? You have nothing to be sorry about.” 

“I’m sorry for ruining our anniversary. For doing all of…this.” Tears had begun to drip down your cheeks, your voice slowly being ruined by hiccups and gasps. 

Luke wiped your tears away, his thumbs smudging your tears into your skin. Your tears were red hot and stinging. Why were you crying? Why were you so weak?

“You didn’t ruin our anniversary at all. Every day with you is perfect. Every single moment,” Luke said.

It was hard to hear that. It shouldn’t have been; they’d told you the same time and time again, but it was hard to believe them when you yourself couldn’t even say it to the reflection in the mirror. Even if they told you that you were beautiful, something you wanted so much to believe, it didn’t change all of the anxiety that still lingered within you. 

You just sat there crying with both of your boyfriends sitting beside you. Spencer refilled your hands with tissues as you wiped away all of the pain streaming down your cheeks. 

“How could you love me when I look like...like this?” you said helplessly. “Look at me. 

“How could we not?” Spencer asked. “You’re the perfect fit for us.”

“You have so much love to give that there needs to be two of us to handle it all,” Luke added.  

Through tears, you managed a laugh. It was an ugly laugh, one that sounded halfway between choking and crying, but a laugh nonetheless. 

“There’s that beautiful laugh. I missed it,” Luke murmured. He looked at you with the most beautiful gaze, one filled with pure warmth and love. “You are so much more than what you think you look like. You are the best partner Spencer or I could have ever asked for, and nothing will ever change that.”

“You’re not alone, Y/N. Luke and I are here, always,” Spencer said with total sincerity. “We are never going to leave you. We promise.”

“You’re both just a couple softies,” you said with the first honest smile you had smiled today. 

“That’s right,” Luke agreed. “A couple of softies who love you for exactly the wonderful person you are.” 

“We’ll figure this out together. I promise,” Spencer said. And for the first time in a long time, you really did believe that. 

He grabbed your left hand and looped it into his. Luke leaned over and planted a kiss on your temple. A comfortable warmth settled in the pit of your stomach. Nothing was solved, but that was okay. Because you had both of your boys on your side. 

TAG LIST - @reiding-and-writing @twelveyearoldchildprodigy @philsreidingglasses @marshmellow-mouse  @huntynut-queerios  @sierra—king  @thnksfrbuckybarnes  @hope-hopr @rosyreid @scbcar @ultrarebelheart @headshotsandcanons @lyrasilverroseelizabethamanti @heyitskatrina @mainstreamqueen @prettyrickyreid @theresnothingformehere @donuts1324 @lookingforgalifrey @doyouheardeansing @stunudo @captainreid @little-pan-trash-can @the-one-and-onlyqueenasf @the-and-sign-anon @princesswagger17 @spoonsandthings14 @nerdyfandom20 @spencerreidsbitch @irjuejjsaa @philspinkyfinger @peter-parker-steve-bucky @biscottibitch @bucky-smiles @youngmalfunctionarts @spacedustdoll @shotarosleftpinky @jjwrites @rosyreid-blog @essayzine-blog @spencerreid9 @madsgraygubler @no-alarms-no-surprises-silence​

Send me some feedback! 

[wheelsup]

hello Ri darling! 🦢and 🎀 for the soft asks please!! (Also I just noticed we have the same tumblr theme just in different colors!! Cute!!!!!) - @spencerreidsmiles

hi marissa! & omg we do. great minds think alike. thanks for sending these in 💕

🦢 if you could visit anyone right this moment, who would you choose + where would you be going?

im actually content being by myself rn so i don’t have a person i want to visit lol 🤧 but if i could go anywhere, i was reminded today how much i miss london, so that’s where i’d want to be?

🎀 describe your favourite ways to be shown adoration.

besides from someone just saying the words, it’s so cute when someone says “do that again so i can take a picture”, or when they begin mimicking your words or habits because they like them or have been around you so much

[spencerreidsmiles]

Thank you for the tag @writing-in-april and @hercleverboy!!

Here we goooo

Spencerreiessmiles

You know not as bad as I thought, I was almost there!!

Tagging @homoose @andiebeaword @stunudo @illegalcerebral

i’m starting a game

Type your username with your eyes closed and tag 4 people

I’ll go first:

iparis-is-parjs

@warcrossheadcanons @tracywarcross @txal-sharky @that-one-goddy-trot

[dontshootmespence]

Spread the Love: SpencerReidSmiles

As part of my 3,000 follower celebration, I decided to go with something called SPREAD THE LOVE, where I highlight a fellow CM writer, gush about how much I love them, maybe say my favorite work by them, and if they have one, highlight a masterlist for all of you lovelies to see! I also just have to add that if I finish this up, and you haven’t been featured, it is ONLY because I haven’t seen your lovely work.

P.S. These are in no particular order. I love you all equally lol <3

The next lovely in line is @spencerreidsmiles!

When you click on the masterlist it says, Why is Spencer Reid fictional? That really is the million dollar question. He doesn’t seem fictional when you have an amazing writer behind the keyboard though! And one of those is @spencerreidsmiles. One of my favorites was and forever will be Elephant’s Memory, which is based off the episode of the same name that deals with Spencer’s bullying. 

Another that I love is called Sleepyhead and it is adorably fluffy! This lovely also has a bunch of Reid holiday fics for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Halloween! The masterlist is extensive and amazing, so you should all go read it all HERE, and most importantly leave some love!

Stay tuned babes! I’m winding down, but the talent is not!

[spencerreidsmiles]

A Little Clumsy

Written by: spencerreidsmiles

Hello hello, my lovelies! I have once again been absolutely grinding at school (and now work too woohoo) so I have had like zero motivation to write but I finally finished one of my anon requests!

They requested prompts 7, 28, and 42 off the General list on this here prompt list! Those will be bolded throughout the story.  

Short summary - It’s the first day of work at the BAU for the reader but when their clumsiness gets the better of them, Spencer Reid is there to save the day. 

Trigger Warnings - blood (like the whole thing is about blood so if blood is a trigger for you, seriously do not read this one), minor injury, strong language, embarrassment

Word Count - 1386

MASTERLIST // WATTPAD VERSION

Sometimes you were clumsy. Okay, perhaps that was a bit of an understatement. You were more often than not clumsy. So when you began your first day at the BAU walking right into a wall and collapsing onto your ass, thus spilling coffee all over yourself, you weren’t surprised, to say the least. Frustrated, yes, but surprised, no. 

However, that sentiment wasn’t exactly shared by everyone, it appeared. In your dizzy haze, you felt a thud as someone knelt down next to you. 

“Is that blood?” the stranger asked. 

You touched your nose with your fingers, red decorating your fingertips. Whoever was talking to you was right, there was blood. Your white shirt, now a light shade of brown-ish beige, was sticky against your chest. Blood and coffee all over your new clothes on your first day of work? How could it go any better? 

To be honest, you weren’t really concerned about the blood right now. This whole scenario had happened enough times that this was essentially a regular occurrence for you. Instead, you were more concerned about the fact that this was the impression you were going to be making on all your colleagues. What were you supposed to do, just walk into the meeting room absolutely drenched in the last bit of your latte and blood and just act normal and introduce yourself? Yeah, because nothing screamed “qualified special agent” like a klutz banging their head into a literal wall. Surely whoever hired you was regretting their decision now. If you were them, you would. 

You had to save your pride somehow. The least you could do would be to find a bathroom and try to clean yourself up as much as possible before meeting your coworkers. 

But first, you had to deal with whoever had watched you slam your head into the wall. 

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is-” you said, sighing. 

“You are literally bleeding,” he stated again. 

You pushed your arms back, propping you up and allowing you the opportunity to take a good look at him. 

Even in your dazed state, you could tell that he was attractive. He was tall, first of all. He towered over you, his brown curls fell over his face as stared at you, clearly concerned. And his eyes. Jesus, his eyes. You could melt into them. 

No. No, stop it. You thought to yourself. This was not the time to be crushing on whoever the hell literally watched you walk into a wall. There were more important things at hand unfortunately. 

“Well thank you, Captain Obvious,” you said bitingly. The pain was beginning to hit you a bit more. You hadn’t thought you’d broken your nose...but the steady swelling was beginning to change your mind. 

“It’s Doctor, actually,” he responded with complete seriousness as he stared even more intently at your nose. 

“Sorry?”

His eyes flickered from your nose, meeting your gaze. 

“It’s Doctor. Doctor Spencer Reid.” 

Shit. You knew that name. Dr. Reid. One of your new coworkers, of course. As if this day couldn’t get any worse. 

“Doctor Obvious then. Wouldn’t want you to lose your credentials.” Dr. Reid didn’t seem to be affected at all by your little joke. You shot him a weak grin, which he did not return. Great. Everything was going great. Clearly. 

“What’s your name again?” he asked. 

“Dr. Reid, are you flirting with me?” you teased. As if anyone could think you look pretty in this mess of brown and red. 

“No! No, of course not. I just want to know so when I submit an injury report, I can have a name to put down.” An injury report? Oh hell no. You were already going to be known as the newbie who walked into a wall and maybe broke their nose, you didn’t need to be known as the newbie who walked into a wall, possibly broke their nose, AND had to have their new coworker fill out an injury report on their first day. 

“Pssh, they don’t need to know. It’s just a little blood and a little bruise. No big deal. I’m completely fine.”

You waved your hand about, swatting him off. It was nothing, just a bad nosebleed basically. A bad nosebleed with a side of a headache that was really starting to ramp up and throb incessantly. Gosh, you really just slammed right into that wall, didn’t you?

Nonetheless, you persisted. You popped up onto your feet as Dr. Reid stood up as well with a horrified look on his face.  

“You hit your head pretty hard, I’m not sure that’s the best idea-” Dr. Reid stammered. 

He was right, again. Standing up this fast was a bit too much, it appeared. Almost immediately, you completely lost all your balance. Your head spun as you fell, of course, right into Dr. Reid’s arms, effectively burying your nose right into his sweater. Apparently the day could get worse.

As you just stayed there, both of you completely frozen in place and completely unaware as to what to do next, you took a deep breath. 

“Okay, so maybe you were right,” you admitted. 

For a second that felt more like a minute at least, it was dead silent. Well, if you hadn’t made a bad impression on Dr. Reid yet, surely this was the final straw. You had calculated an about 100% chance of Dr. Reid running off to tell your boss that they had truly made the worst mistake in hiring you. The ideal first day, really. 

Slowly, Dr. Reid propped you back on your feet. You were still a bit woozy and your nose was throbbing fairly bad, so you clutched onto him for a second to settle yourself down. His arms wrapped around your back, holding you tight.  

It was only after you pulled yourself away that you realized just how much of a mess you had made out of Dr. Reid’s sweater. Right where you had buried your face was now a giant splotch of red from your nose. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you apologized. You tried wiping off whatever schmutz you could off his clothes with your own sleeves, but you only smeared it further and further in. God, you were just an absolute mess, weren’t you? Good grief. 

But instead of glaring at you, you saw the kindest eyes crinkling with laughter. Like the sunlight breaking through clouds, you heard Dr. Reid’s laugh ring out loud and clear. The sound itself warmed your heart God, if he was handsome before, then what was he now? Whatever he was, it was safe enough to say, you were absolutely head over-fucking-heels for your savior. 

“I’ll be honest, I was waiting for a reason to get rid of this sweater. So thank you for giving me a reason to.” He glanced down at the splotch before looking back at your worried face. “Don’t feel bad, things like this happen.”

“You’ve had someone run into a wall and bleed onto your shirt before?” you asked with a heavy emphasis on your incredulity. 

His cheeks and ears brightened a light pink shade. “Well not exactly, but we’re all a little clumsy sometimes.”

You checked your watch. Almost nine, aka almost time for you to meet the team and officially start your first day of work. Starting a new job just like this. Wow. You were so screwed. 

Either you had the world’s worst poker face or Dr. Reid was just really good at his job, but immediately after watching you check your watch, his shyness faded away and his voice softened as he spoke.  

“Hey, how about you go home and get cleaned up and I’ll tell the team you’ll be a little late.”

“Are you sure? What if they ask about…” You gestured around vaguely at his shirt. 

He shrugged. “I’ll just tell them you made a strong first impression.”

You let out a relieved laugh. “That’s one way to put it,” you said. “Thank you.”

As you began to walk to the elevator, you thought about Dr. Reid and his kindness and eventually came to the conclusion that perhaps this first day wasn’t as bad as you thought it was. That he was right, everyone was a little clumsy sometimes. And that was okay.

TAG LIST - @reiding-and-writing @twelveyearoldchildprodigy @philsreidingglasses @marshmellow-mouse  @huntynut-queerios  @sierra—king  @thnksfrbuckybarnes  @hope-hopr @rosyreid @scbcar @ultrarebelheart @headshotsandcanons @lyrasilverroseelizabethamanti @heyitskatrina @mainstreamqueen @prettyrickyreid @theresnothingformehere @donuts1324 @lookingforgalifrey @doyouheardeansing @stunudo @captainreid @little-pan-trash-can @the-one-and-onlyqueenasf @the-and-sign-anon @princesswagger17 @spoonsandthings14 @nerdyfandom20 @spencerreidsbitch @irjuejjsaa @philspinkyfinger @peter-parker-steve-bucky @biscottibitch @bucky-smiles @youngmalfunctionarts @spacedustdoll @shotarosleftpinky @jjwrites @rosyreid-blog @essayzine-blog @spencerreid9 @madsgraygubler @no-alarms-no-surprises-silence​ 

[spencerreidsmiles]

Skater Boy Spencer Reid

Written by: spencerreidsmiles

Howdy, howdy! I am very slowly going through my remaining requests. This request was for prompts 38, 41, and 47 on the fluff prompt list here. You’ll see them bolded throughout the story!

Also, a short side note that I have no idea how to skateboard at all! This is solely based off my intensive research (/s) on how to skateboard, so if this isn’t accurate, I’m sorry!

Summary - The reader teaches Spencer how to skateboard.

Content Warnings - blood, minor injury, light teasing

Word Count - 1737

MASTERLIST // WATTPAD VERSION

“Skateboarding? Of all things you could’ve chosen, skateboarding?”

“Oh come on, Spencer, you never know, you might be good at it,” you replied, yanking at his shirt sleeve. 

Spencer glanced at you with a slightly withering glare. It was a look you were very familiar with; if there was one thing you enjoyed more than anything else in the world, it was teasing Spencer. It was just so easy to tease him, so why wouldn’t you?

But amidst all the teasing about the skateboarding, there was a part of you that knew Spencer Reid would make an excellent skater boy. 

You leaned closer to Spencer, looking up with the biggest puppy eyes you could muster and a big pout. 

“Remember when I saved your ass? You owe me, Spencer,” you said, emphasizing each word with a poke to his chest. “You said you would do whatever I wanted.”

Spencer glanced away with a pout. “Fine, whatever you like.” 

“Hm, I knew you would say that.” You grinned with satisfaction and squeezed his cheeks. “I’ll see you at the skate park tomorrow! Don’t forget your knee pads!” 

Spencer did not, in fact, forget his knee pads. (Not that forgetting things was something Spencer usually did.) And even though you had told him to bring his knee pads, you couldn’t help but laugh when you saw him walk - no, waddle - up in matching purple knee pads, elbow pads, and a helmet. He looked long and gangly and awkward in his gear with his usual converse and for once, a tee shirt and shorts. You hadn’t ever seen him in any of these clothes before but you had to admit, you definitely weren’t disliking it. 

“You look really good. Color coordinated too,” you said with a big smile as you knocked the side of his helmet with your knuckles. 

“You like it?” Spencer beamed. He did a little spin, the clasps of his helmet twirling around. 

“It’s perfect for you. Honest.” You kicked up your spare board, catching the top. “But let’s get down to business. I’m going to make you a skater boy by the end of the day, Spencer Reid. That is a promise.”

You handed the board over to Spencer. It was old and scraped up from years of use and many, many wipeouts. When you’d first bought it years ago, it was red and shiny, but now the red had faded away, leaving only a wooden board with strips of red remaining. The wheels were still functional, if a bit wonky, but perfect for learning on. 

For someone who claimed to have absolutely zero athletic ability, Spencer was quite good at skateboarding. Well, to be fair, he hadn’t actually started skateboarding for real yet. You started him off by placing a single foot onto the board with the other still fully intact with the ground, but it was a start. He got a feel for what it felt like to bend his knees and push his weight around to move the board. But now he had to put both feet on the board and actually skateboard.

“Y/N, look! I’m doing it!” Spencer said as he hopped around on one leg while scooting with his other on the board. 

You couldn’t help but smile. The childlike glee Spencer was exuding could make anyone smile. He carted himself around the perimeter of the skate park as you trailed behind him, keeping a careful eye on him. 

“Alright, Spencer. Well here comes the hard part. Give me your hands, you’re going to put both feet on the board now.” 

Instantly, Spencer’s smile was replaced with a worried expression. He put his foot down on the ground and paused in front of you. 

“What?” he asked. You brushed aside some of Spencer’s hair that had escaped his helmet, accidentally brushing his cheek as well. Shivers tickled your spine and unfamiliar goosebumps covered your body. 

“Hey, I got you. Trust me, okay?” you said.

“Okay.” Spencer nodded and placed his hands in yours. 

“Now push off with your right foot, then put it back on the board, and I’ll pull you, got it?” you directed. 

With a silent gulp, Spencer did as you said. He bent his knees and pushed off with his right foot before placing it back on his board. You started walking backwards and pulled Spencer forward. Slowly, you started walking back faster and faster until you had started to jog. 

“Spencer, you’re doing it! You’re doing it!” you exclaimed. 

Without saying another word, you let go of Spencer’s hands. And for a minute, he was actually doing it, actually skating around with both feet firmly planted onto the board and arms spread out like wings. You were so busy admiring him you didn’t even notice that he had begun to lose balance and wobble.

“Y/N! How do I stop!” he shouted, reaching his hands out for you.

“Oh shoot! Hold on!” 

You started running back towards him, but you were too late. Spencer had already leaned too far ahead. He started making circles with his hands, flapping around in an attempt to keep his balance. Just as you grabbed his hands, the board kicked out from under him and both of you fell flat onto the asphalt. 

You had your eyes closed while you were falling, so when you opened them to find Spencer’s face only a couple inches above yours and his body on top of yours, you nearly screamed. You had never been this close to Spencer in your entire life. Surely if he was this close, he could hear your heart beating out of your chest, no? You were breathless but you weren’t quite sure if it was because you were being squished by Spencer or because of how close you were to him. 

Spencer, however, was completely frozen. His hands were placed right beside your head and he was staring, just staring, straight at you. His caramel curls hovered right above your face, blowing gently from the wind. 

“Hi,” you said breathlessly. 

“Are you okay?” he whispered. 

“I’ll be honest, you are crushing me right now.” 

“Oh, sorry!” Spencer rolled off of you, landing on his butt, cross-legged on the ground. You wriggled yourself up and watched as Spencer dusted himself off. 

When you finally made eye contact, you couldn’t help but start laughing. You were just replaying the image of Spencer slipping over and over again. It was incredible. 

“That was the most ridiculous fall I’ve ever seen, Spencer, my god.” 

You leaned back, holding your stomach as you laughed. Just before you fell over completely again, Spencer caught your hand. From that single touch, electricity shot from your fingertips into the rest of your body. The sensation nearly scared you for how good it felt, how alive it made you feel. Touching Spencer felt like you were skating without even getting on a board. You never wanted to let go. 

But Spencer did. He pulled back, forehead scrunching as he winced. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked. But then you saw it, his poor hands all torn up from the fall. They were rubbed raw with speckles of red dotting his palms. “Oh my gosh, Spencer, your hands!” 

“I’m fine,” he said. He looked at his own palms, flexing it, moving it around.

“No, come here, at least let me clean it,” you said as you stood up. “Come on, I have a first aid kit in my bag.”

You led Spencer to a bench with all of your things. As you cleaned his palms, wiping them with antiseptic wipes and bandaging them, you could feel Spencer’s eyes watching you. 

After years of working for the FBI, going on case after case for years, Spencer’s hands were rough and calloused. There were scars, too many for you or him to remember where and when they came from now, blending in with the creases of his hands. But still, they were comforting, familiar.

“One more try, okay? I believe in you. No more wipeouts.” You finished bandaging his hands with a gentle pat. Spencer pretended to pout, giving you a half-meaning glare. 

“Oh come on, you’re okay. Do you need a kiss to make it better?” you teased. 

“What?” Spencer’s face flushed. 

“I’m kidding.” You pushed his shoulder lightly all whilst thinking that for the first time (or at least the first time you had truly acknowledged it) you weren’t really joking at all. “Now come on, one more try.”

Spencer was more hesitant this time, but he reached for your hands again. He placed one foot on the board, already beginning to wobble. Come on, Spencer, you can do it, you thought to yourself. He glanced at you as he took a deep breath. 

And he did. Spencer soared around the whole park. He was like a natural as he swerved around with outstretched arms. The sound of the wheels sliding against the pavement surrounded you as Spencer removed his back foot from the board and stopped without flying off the board right in front of you. 

“You did it, Spencer!” You ran up to Spencer and enveloped him in a massive hug. 

Spencer returned your hug, throwing his arms around you tightly. His knee pads knocked against your legs as he pulled you closer to him. He smelt of coffee and baby powder under the sweat and dirt and twinge of blood that lingered in the air. As you stayed there wrapped up in his arms, you wondered if it was possible to stay here forever in the comfort you never knew was so close. 

The two of you finally decided to leave when the sun started to beat down on your backs. While Spencer was prepared for almost everything, apparently the two things he hadn’t thought about were guard gloves and sunscreen. Spencer grabbed the board, resting it comfortably under his arm. 

As you went to get your bag, Spencer tapped your shoulder and spoke. “So uh, can we do this again next week?”

Your heart skipped a beat. “I would love that, Spencer. And who knows, you might be better than me soon.”

Spencer looked down with a growing smile on his face. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” you said, fearlessly grabbing Spencer’s hand.

You walked away with satisfaction, thinking to yourself only one thing; you were right, Spencer Reid did make an excellent skater boy.

TAG LIST - @reiding-and-writing @twelveyearoldchildprodigy @philsreidingglasses @marshmellow-mouse  @huntynut-queerios  @sierra—king  @thnksfrbuckybarnes  @hope-hopr @rosyreid @scbcar @ultrarebelheart @headshotsandcanons @lyrasilverroseelizabethamanti @heyitskatrina @mainstreamqueen @prettyrickyreid @theresnothingformehere @donuts1324 @lookingforgalifrey @doyouheardeansing @stunudo @captainreid @little-pan-trash-can @the-one-and-onlyqueenasf @the-and-sign-anon @princesswagger17 @spoonsandthings14 @nerdyfandom20 @spencerreidsbitch @irjuejjsaa @philspinkyfinger @peter-parker-steve-bucky @biscottibitch @bucky-smiles @youngmalfunctionarts @spacedustdoll @shotarosleftpinky @jjwrites @rosyreid-blog @essayzine-blog @spencerreid9 @madsgraygubler @no-alarms-no-surprises-silence

[writing-in-april]

🙈☺️ Thank you so much 🥰 I’m glad that other people were able to get some joy and/or sadness out of the fic with me. 🥺

The 5 Stages of Grief Masterlist (Completed)

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (Spencer POV)

Summary: Spencer going through each of the stages of grief after the death of the reader.

A/N: I’m so excited I’ve been working on this for a while, I wanted to get a good portion of it done before I started posting. Heads up this series will not be happy- like at all and their will be plenty of trigger warnings. I would not advise anyone under 18 read this story as it deals with dark and heavy subject matter, however it does not contain any smut. This is based off of my own recent experiences with how I acted in my grief and this fic is just based on one model of how grief can present itself. (Edit: if you’re curious I mention it in the A/N’s in other chapters but this whole fic is heavily inspired by Season 3 Episode 19- you’ll mostly notice it in the last chapter- also I was inspired by some elements of Season 3 episode 15)

Warnings: Death of Reader, Drugs, Thoughts of Suicide, Depression, Heavy Grief, Unreliable Narrator, Violence, Gun violence

Main Masterlist | Wattpad (if you prefer ao3 let me know and I’ll post it there as well) Overall Word Count: 10.1k

1) Stage one: Denial

2) Stage two: Anger

3) Stage three: Bargaining

4) Stage four: Depression

5) Stage five: Acceptance

-

Tag list:

Message me or comment under any of the chapters or this post if you want to be added to the tag list for the series or any of my other tag lists

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar

Spencer Reid/CM:

@calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes

5 stages of grief:

@tatesimper @half-blood-dork @joonie-centric

@mcntsee @three-eyed-snail @illuxions-x @day-n-night-dreamer @rainsong01 @nomajdetective @loveheathens @reidbuck

[spencerreidsmiles]

I Don’t Love You

Written by: spencerreidsmiles

My dear friends, this is my first Hotch fic in a VERY long time and it's a request from @hommoturttle from literally eight months ago (haha let's not talk about that, sorry it took so long <3) They requested a “super angsty” Hotch fic, so here it is!

This is a Hotch x gender neutral!Reader that is just straight sad. There is zero plot, barely any Hotch tbh, it's literally just depressing! That being said, I actually do really like it. This fic takes place right after Haley's passing, and the reader is in a very unhealthy relationship with Hotch.  

Trigger Warnings: vague descriptions that could be interpreted as ab*se, vague depictions of an extremely unhealthy and unloving relationship, but overall just extremely sad and emotionally taxing

Word Count: 999

MASTERLIST // WATTPAD VERSION

You stared at nothing in particular, just wondering. Your eyes were hot, stingy, and red, and they hurt, bad. You had been crying for...well, you didn’t really know how long you had been crying. You just had been. Not in front of him, of course. You knew better than that. But there were no more tears left. Your body had exhausted every last one left in you and now you were just numb, but hot all over, a statue on fire. 

You wondered if he felt the same. You wondered if he felt anything about you at all. If he ever did. 

You wanted to say that it happened out of nowhere, that it was a complete shock to you, that nothing, nothing, could have prepared you for it, but that would have been a lie. The signs had pointed to this forever, but you pretended like you always did. You chose to walk with hands over your eyes, knowing deep down that you would fall. And you did. 

But you never thought, or some hopeful part of you did, that he would actually say it. That he would mean it. That you could believe it. 

“I don’t love you. I’ve never loved you. And I will never love you.” 

It wasn’t the heartbreak that hit you first. It was the smooth calmness of his voice that did. There was no hesitation, not even a hint of regret. You couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe he had been saving these words. Keeping them locked up tight behind his facade, just waiting for the right moment to say it. The words slammed around in your head, “I don’t love you” echoing in your skull. You knew the words “I love you” had impact. Why didn’t they tell you that “I don’t love you” had more?

Then your throat closed up. All of the breath you were filled with before was sucked out of you until there was nothing left. You could feel your soul clawing at you from inside your body to be let out. Felt it screaming, rattling at the bars to be freed. But nothing, no words or sounds would come out of your mouth, they were too hard. Instead, you just let the silence speak for you. It didn’t say anything. 

Your body shook when he slammed the door. It was an all too familiar sound, but this time, it rattled you. You stood there, blinking and silent, because that was the only thing you could do. The door would open. It had to. It wasn’t going to end like this. It couldn’t. But it didn’t open. 

You tried to justify it at first. He didn’t know what he was saying. It wasn’t him. He was drunk or hurt or confused. But that wasn’t it. You knew all of those excuses you made for him weren’t true because for once, he had looked you in the eyes when he spoke to you. He hadn’t done that for so long. 

He was angry. He was always angry these days. It was rarer to see him happy than not. But even happy days weren’t immune from his anger. It was crazy, to you at least, how much things changed without you even noticing. How a simple smile, that not long ago was just the norm, had turned into a prize. How ordinary it felt to go to bed never happy, never smiling. How even a speck of love would be the cliff you held onto while everything else crumbled around you, convincing you that it was okay. That it would always be okay and it would get better. But it never did. 

You told yourself that it was you. That you were the problem. Maybe if you changed, then he would stay. That maybe if you were more like her then things would be good. What did you have to do for him to see you? Did he ever see you? Or were you a poor knockoff replacement for someone he still loved that was taken too soon? 

No matter how hard he tried to fit you into whatever Haley-shaped hole he had, you never could fit just right. You didn’t look enough like her, you didn’t sound enough like her, you didn’t feel enough like her. You weren’t her. But you tried so hard. You tried because he still wanted her but all he had was you. You tried because it was good in the beginning, it was so good, so maybe if you just gave a little something up, then it would be good again. And it worked so well, he had a smile he only reserved for when you reminded him of her. So you kept giving and giving and giving to see that smile until there was none of you, the real you, left. 

You wondered if any of it - one word, one smile, one touch - had ever been real. If there had ever been a point where the two of you had actually been really, honestly happy. Or if it had always been like this and you had just been too blind to see it. 

You looked at the empty apartment around you. It looked like it always did, but you saw it for what it was now. No more rose-tinted glasses. No more silver lining. A house, not a home; a prison, not a paradise. 

When your tears had long dried up, leaving streaky marks down your cheeks, you found the words you couldn’t speak before. The truth washed over you for the first time in a long time. 

I knew you were using me, I just didn’t care.

But realizing the truth didn’t make it hurt any less. Because you still didn’t care. You knew what you had wasn’t love. You knew he could never really love you, but it didn’t matter. You didn’t want love. You just wanted him. Even if it meant losing yourself in the process.

TAG LIST - @reiding-and-writing @twelveyearoldchildprodigy @philsreidingglasses @marshmellow-mouse  @huntynut-queerios  @sierra—king  @thnksfrbuckybarnes  @hope-hopr @rosyreid @scbcar @ultrarebelheart @headshotsandcanons @lyrasilverroseelizabethamanti @heyitskatrina @mainstreamqueen @prettyrickyreid @theresnothingformehere @donuts1324 @lookingforgalifrey @doyouheardeansing @stunudo @captainreid @little-pan-trash-can @the-one-and-onlyqueenasf @the-and-sign-anon @princesswagger17 @spoonsandthings14 @nerdyfandom20 @spencerreidsbitch @irjuejjsaa @philspinkyfinger @peter-parker-steve-bucky @biscottibitch @bucky-smiles @youngmalfunctionarts @spacedustdoll @shotarosleftpinky @jjwrites @rosyreid-blog @essayzine-blog

[spencerreidsmiles]

nbd just thinking about Spencer Reid dating someone who really loves crime shows and true crime, so when he comes home from work, they cling onto every word Spencer says about the case and just want to know more

[spencerreidsmiles]

PLEASE my heart can’t take this

All the beautiful descriptions (omg that section about Spencer’s eyes LORD that was gorgeous) and the little interjections AH

Also the ENDING AHHH

This piece is beautiful and I am WRECKED

drowning in love

(PART 2 TO 'DO THE STARS GAZE BACK')

do the stars gaze back ?

overview: the reader is hopelessly, head over heels in love with Spencer but doesn't believe he feels the same way - they go on a 'not date' to the aquarium to look at the pretty jellyfish.

genre: ANGST (this is definitely angsty have fun), fluff-ish(?), pining, friends to lovers hehee - also did i mention angst ?

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

a/n: hi lovelies !! ahhh this is the second part to 'do the stars gaze back?' and I just wanna say thank you to everyone who has supported it and given it so much love. I've literally been on Tumblr for 2 weeks and it already has 700 notes which is MINDBLOWING for me. I love and appreciate each and everyone one of you <3. anyways in this part reader is still pining over Spencer but this time they're at an aquarium and it's so cute and there are sea creatures surrounding them and dkjhfsdkjhfsjkd it's so cute. i highkey wish this was me and my crush (but alas she does not like me - again pls come to me and cry about unrequited love if you have experience bc istg i'm gonna create a support group bc this shit is hard). anyways I hope you have fun reading - pls let me know what you think :)) <33

-

-

“(y/n), hi!”, you heard a familiar voice behind you.

you turned around and were instantly greeted enveloped in a hug from your favourite person ever. wait no scratch that – you were enveloped in a hug from a very dear friend of yours whom you had no romantic attachment to whatsoever (you’d read online that a positive mindset and repeated affirmations and manifestations stating that your crush was just a friend – was a key part in getting over someone).

“hey Spence. oof. someone’s feeling particularly clingy today.” you said smiling at him to let him know you were joking (well joking to an extent- your heart palpitations had started to begin again, and you really didn’t know if being this close to him was good for you).

“it feels like i haven’t seen you in ages. not since our movie night – and that was a while ago,” he murmured into your ear, still not letting go of you.

“need i remind you that we literally see each other every day? if anything, i’ve not not seen you in ages,” you replied, breaking away from his arms.

“i know that silly.” for a second his smile broke, and he looked almost lost. was he upset that you let go of him? no that couldn’t be it. “but it doesn’t feel the same, you know. something’s felt off for the last couple of weeks. i don’t know how to describe it”

oh. perhaps Spencer had noticed your distance– and apparently wanted to talk about it right now.

“wow - boy wonder is at a loss of words for once. c’mon let’s go inside,” you replied, trying to smile, (you know…deflecting as usual).

as you went up the stairs leading to the entrance, several steps ahead of him, you could’ve sworn your ears were playing tricks on you because heard spencer whisper:

“only around you.”

you both entered the aquarium and Spencer went to the front desk to show your tickets and to get a map – despite coming here a thousand times you’d both gotten lost every time you visited (which you had to admit was strange because in reality the aquarium wasn’t that big, and Spencer literally had an eidetic memory – but somehow things never did go to plan with the two of you). you gazed at him as he was talking animatedly to the elderly man at reception, beaming so widely.

his hair was growing long again, covering his eyes – and you had the sudden urge to walk up to him, cup his chip and brush his hair out of his face.

no. that is not a platonic thought! he is just a friend and that is it. that is all you will ever be and if you dare think anything like this again you won’t be allowed to eat pizza for a week - you told yourself.

it was going to be a long three hours at the aquarium.

***

well, you were wrong.

the first hour and a half flew by so quickly, you’d barely even registered that you were halfway through your outing. and honestly, you’d forgotten about the promise you made yourself and the awkwardness that you had created earlier. like sure, there were moments where you literally stopped breathing because holy shit Spencer looked really really pretty when he talked about the water vascular system of a starfish (which apparently was ‘a hydraulic system made up of a network of fluid-filled canals and is concerned with locomotion, adhesion, food manipulation and gas exchange inside a starfish’… or something like that). but mostly everything just felt so easy when you talked to him. you’d never felt this way with anyone else - not even with the rest of the team, and you loved them more than anything - hell you trusted them with your life.

and yet with Spencer, it was different.

the heaviness that was constantly weighing on your chest when you talked to other people, was gone. you walked and talked around the aquarium as you discussed…. well everything – to Garcia’s mystery man to the latest Dr. Who episode (which you usually watched together, but last week you were “ill” so you couldn’t make it to his house) and it truly felt like you hadn’t spoken in years.

and the time you spent together catching up, was perfect.

you both finally made it to the exhibition you’d been waiting for – the jellyfish section. Spencer’s favourite thing about the aquarium was the fact that they worked with a local charity to help conserve animals that were injured or abandoned. they organised incredible programs with new initiatives each year, created to save the sea life in the nearby coastal regions. it was a commendable charity: for its selflessness, hard work, and brilliance. changing the lives of so many animals each year. however, at that moment, the only reason you felt thankful for the charity was not because of the work that they did or the number of lives they saved but because of the smile the charity brought on Spencer’s face, you watched his eyes widen in astonishment as you walked through the see-through tunnels, surrounded by the colourful glow of jellyfish pulsating through their light kissed surroundings. gliding through the water effortlessly.

it was magical.

slowly and steadily, you both made your way closer to the creatures. almost in apprehension. as if you couldn’t truly believe what you were seeing. pressing your foreheads against the glass, you stood in awe watching the jellyfish play with each other. they seemed to be unaware of the people on the other side of the wall, living blissfully in their own little bubble.

“they’re beautiful,” he whispered next to you.

at the sound of Spencer’s voice, you instinctively shifted your head, taking in the view of your best friend, fixated on the jellyfish. you noticed how the water refracted a shade of blue light onto his face, turning him into an abstract piece of art. the light exemplified the golden flecks sprinkled around his brown irises. but brown was a word too dismal to describe his eyes.

his eyes were a thousand hues - ranging from the shade of autumnal leaves to a darkened honeycomb in the summer. to reduce his eyes to something as dull as brown was a disservice to the spellbinding colour that they were.

the light hadn’t turned him into a piece of art. he already was one.

“yeah, you are.”

he met your gaze, and you found yourself involuntarily staring deep into his eyes. your eyelashes fluttered, as your blinks became longer and longer and it felt as if the world was slowing down around you both.

you hadn’t realised how close you both were standing. your shoulders touching, whilst your hands shakily skimmed over each other; brushing briefly for a few seconds. an almost whisper of a touch.

Spencer cleared his throat and looked back at the jellyfish.

fuck.

but he didn’t make an attempt to move, so neither did you.

“you know it’s funny,” he started, the silence had become unbearably uncomfortable, “what Rossi said to me yesterday when i told him about our plans.”

“what did he say?” you almost whispered, looking back at the jellyfish.

“he asked if we were going on a date today.” he replied looking back at you, wide-eyed and blushing.

Spencer was never one to blush. his nervous tells ranged from biting his lips (and licking them ever so slightly) to fumbling with his fingers to word vomiting any random piece of knowledge tucked inside his beautiful brain. but blushing? you swore you could see a pink tinge beginning to form on his cheeks.

“oh wow. he said that-“

“ahahaha. yeah, he’s funny right?”

“yeah. totally. i mean you know Rossi. always the joker.” you replied light-heartedly, raising your eyebrows. you could feel the weight of your heart crushing into a million pieces.

and so, you both went back to staring at the aquarium showcase.

it had almost turned into a game - one of you would begin to say something but think otherwise and go back to staring at the jellyfish whilst the other would then turn to look at you whilst you were busy looking at the display.

the tension was ever-thickening.

but still, you both didn’t try to move away from one another. in fact, at this point your hands had stopped grazing against each other. you were confused at first when you didn’t feel his hand, an absence of warmth against your skin. but then he intertwined his pinkie with yours and goddamit you almost flinched.

you couldn’t take this anymore. it was building up inside your chest and you felt that if you couldn’t say it now then then you would literally die. i mean if he didn’t feel the same way back – that was fine. it would be fine. you would be fine. love was overrated. and anyways you weren’t sure if you were in love with him. carbon monoxide poisoning was still a viable reason as to why you felt the way you felt. it would be fine – you’d just tell him calmly and rationally and-

“(y/n), do you love me?”

huh? what the fuck did he just say?

you couldn’t breathe.

this was it. he was going to hate you. this was your best friend. your favourite person… well ever.

and you were about to lose him forever.

and for a moment, neither of you spoke, only looking in each other’s eyes. your body was telling you to run, but your feet remained planted to the ground.

“i-“

i love you.

“i need to go.”

taglist:

@percabethfangirl @hihelloscout@mitzimania @licensed-fan-girl

@xreaderficlove @laurakirsten0502 @xuckduck @measure-in-pain

@ashwarren32 @peculiarinsomniac @sunnysaysbookreviews

@princesswagger17 @samuel-de-champagne-problems

@shemarmooresfedora @drayshadow @singularityjc @nushie-smushie @yikesyikesyikes95 @mac99martin @sweetandsunny

[spencerreidsmiles]

Omfg this is so intriguing!!! The tension is palatable and I love it

golden hour - s. r. (1/?)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Series Summary: The BAU has to solve a case in forty-eight hours. The suspect is a former FBI-agent, and the first girl Spencer ever loved: you.

Chapter Summary: Spencer gets a call in the middle of the night. Little does he know, that this isn't just a normal call.

Warnings: criminal minds stuff

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: hello loves and welcome back. I've been working on this for months and I hope you like it. please let me know!

masterlist

It rings.

Shrill and loud and angry.

If Spencer hadn't been awake, it would definitely have woken him.

The room is dark except for the lantern light streaming through the open window. The cone of light casts shadows on the rumpled bedspread tangled between his legs. If the phone didn't ring, it would be completely silent.

Spencer shifts his gaze from the desolate ceiling to the digital alarm clock to his right. 03:43 am. He's been lying in bed for over four hours hoping to get some sleep, but even though he's dead tired, his eyes won't fall shut and his head won't shut off.

His fatigue isn't coming from anywhere. The team had been deployed for the past two weeks and just returned yesterday. Six hours ago, to be exact. As Spencer unlocked the door to his apartment, he realized how much he missed home. The many books on the shelves, the chess table in front of the window in the living room, and even more so the comfortable mattress that usually invites him to rest and dream.

Only today it doesn't work.

Spencer has drunk warm milk - a remedy his mother used to employ when he was a child - counted sheep and opened the window to make the stuffy, two-week-old air leave the room, but nothing has helped.

He's not sure what exactly has kept him awake for the last few hours. He had been so tired on the plane that he could barely read the letters in his latest book, and on the drive home from Quantico, he nearly dozed off in Luke's passenger seat. But as soon as he entered his apartment, the fatigue was blown away and it was as if a bucket of ice water had been poured over him. Shivers ran down his spine and a feeling spread through his chest and it bothered him to no end that he couldn't place it or get rid of it.

The feeling would not let him go. And then the phone rings.

It rings three four five times before Spencer decides to kick the covers off himself and get up. He doesn't mind being called at this hour; it's not the first time, either, and it certainly won't be the last. He just wishes he could have gotten some sleep beforehand.

The display of his old cell phone glows brightly in the darkness of his room. PRENTISS QUANTICO is written on it in capital letters. Either Emily has already arrived back at the office, or she never went home in the first place.

Spencer is sure it's the latter.

"Hi, Spencer," she says after he presses the green button and now holds the phone to his ear. She sounds exhausted, which you can't blame her for. She definitely hasn't been sleeping either. Any other person would ask Spencer if they woke him up or if he was already asleep - after all, it's 03:45 am - but Emily gets right to the point. It's a habit he appreciates. "I know we just got back a few hours ago, and I'd prefer not to have to call you all back in, but it's very urgent."

Spencer rubs the heels of his hands over his eyes. "What's wrong?" In the dark, he reaches for a fresh pair of jeans and slips into them, then pulls his favorite belt through the loops. He's glad he took a shower when he got home.

"I can't tell you on the phone, I'm sorry." The words are swallowed a little, because the phone is stuck between his ear and shoulder as Spencer buttons up his shirt. "I sent a car to pick you up. We really don't have time. Once you're all here, I can give you more information."

"Okay", is all he replies, running a hand through his tousled hair once. He feels the knots that have formed from rolling around in bed and dismisses the idea of combing his mane with the brush just now. His fingers will have to suffice. "See you in a minute." After that, the line is silent.

Spencer closes the window and puts on another dark red sweater over his gray shirt before grabbing his bag - his larger one for the next hotel stay; in fact, he strongly assumes it will be - and leaving the apartment. There is indeed a car waiting outside, and Spencer is glad that the driver doesn't speak a word so he can rest a bit before heading out again.

What could be so important that he gets a call in the middle of the night and even a car is sent to get him to the office as soon as possible?

His thoughts circle around the big, fat what and the feeling in his chest presses harder and harder. He can't describe it, not even with the incredible amount of English words he knows. It's just there, and apparently it's not going to go away.

The office is dark when he arrives, with only the lamps turned on by the round table. He briefly considers leaving his bag at his desk, but leaves the carrier on his shoulder as he walks the few steps to the conference room.

Although the drive from his apartment to Quantico took only half an hour, he is the last of the troops to arrive. He looks into tired faces, but none of them has sat down at the table to rest their legs. Apparently, like him, they are too surprised and curious as to why they are here.

Spencer closes the door behind him. There is no one else in the office, no one to listen to them, but it seems like the right thing to do, because only then does Emily begin to speak. She's still wearing the same clothes she was wearing a few hours ago, and Spencer's suspicions come true. She hadn't been home. She has also tied her usually open hair into a ponytail. So that's how serious it is.

"Before I can enlighten you, I have to tell you that this case is top secret", she begins, looking everyone in the eye briefly to emphasize how important it is. "This case comes directly from the top - from Section Chief Bishop. The only people you are allowed to talk to about it are in this room."

"Do we have a file?" asks JJ, and Spencer glances at the table. It's empty. Normally, there would be tablets there now, and a paper file especially for him to get a first impression. But I guess the team isn't supposed to.

"No", Emily replies, and the team exhales audibly. "The case is very volatile and I must advise you that any breach of confidentiality will result in immediate termination and criminal proceedings. Bishop has made that very clear." She passes around sheets of paper, and as Spencer holds his, he reads the word " confidentiality agreement" at the top.

Out of the corner of his eye, Spencer sees Tara intertwine her fingers. She has placed her piece of paper on the table. "Can you please tell us what's going on?"

Spencer knows Emily trusts her team. She trusts her people with her life, as she has proven many times, and she knows her people would never stab her in the back. This agreement doesn't come from her. He signs it after reading through the few lines, and his colleagues do the same. There is nothing specific in it, only between whom the agreement exists, what will be kept secret - the case and everything that goes with it, of course - and the consequences should one break this contract.

When everyone has signed, Emily exhales. "Follow me."

Like a family of ducks, the team walks one after another through the hallways of the FBI building until they come to a stop in front of a locked door. Emily pulls a key from her back pocket and unlocks the door. They enter.

"This is an FBI internal matter", Emily begins to explain as she leads the team into the large room. It is slightly smaller than the BAU department, contains tables and shelves and even a small kitchen is inside. On a door on the wall is WC and on another wall of the room is a one-way mirror, but it is covered by a blind. Behind it, a few faint rays of light come out. For sure, this had once been a section here.

At one of the tables, Section Chief Bishop stands watching the team as they briefly look around. Spencer doesn't like Bishop. He doesn't know him very well - Bishop only recently became Section Chief - but something about him Spencer finds disturbing. Perhaps it's the fact that never smiles or allows any other emotion. The profiler in Spencer, of course, had been looking for signs so he could analyze him a bit, but hadn't found any clues that were troubling. Bishop's personality and behavior are one hundred percent genuine.That's pretty disturbing, he thinks.

"We have exactly forty-eight hours to solve this case. During that time, we are not allowed to leave this room", Emily continues. "If anyone needs to get anything else or anything like that, please do so now. Otherwise, the room will be locked once Section Chief Bishop has left the room."

Glances are exchanged and in each Spencer can read both curiosity and a hint of doubt. He certainly doesn't look any different. When no one says a word or even moves, Emily gives the floor to Bishop.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is an FBI agent who was arrested two months ago", he begins, signaling Penelope. She's already sitting at the large table in the center, a laptop set up directly in front of her, and Spencer feels bad for a moment that he hadn't noticed her. She's typing away on the laptop, and while he doesn't know anything about technology, he's sure she must have installed something so that really no one can access the network so she can create a file there.

"What did she do?" asks Luke, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Spencer finally lets his bag slide to the floor. His shoulder hurts a little, which is almost certainly from the fact that his body hasn't had a decent rest. But he's glad he took a hotel bag with him. At least then he can brush his teeth in between.

"Twenty-seven counts of murder."

Spencer's eyes nearly fall out of his head. His colleagues hardly fare any differently.

"Twenty-seven?" JJ sounds a little skeptical.

"Twenty-seven", Bishop confirms.

"Twenty-seven like twenty-seven guilty or like twenty-seven innocent?"

"Twenty-seven innocent women."

"Can we please stop saying twenty-seven?" Penelope's voice trembles. The case has barely begun, but you can already tell it's getting to her. It probably would have been better for her not to be involved in this case. But her knowledge is indispensable.

"The women were victims of a human trafficking ring. The agent was in charge of the case and was supposed to bust the ring and free these women." Bishop looks around the room. "It turns out she was working undercover for the organization. She killed the women before the FBI could free them and rescue them."

Spencer's eyebrows furrow. "Why would she kill the women? Did they know too much?"

"That's the big question", Bishop replies. "Her job, is to find out what happened."

"What do you mean "What happened"?" pokes Tara.

Bishop nods. "The bodies of the women were never found."

There is complete silence. Not even the clock on the wall seems to be ticking. Everyone is so deep in their thoughts and theories that Spencer flinches when JJ speaks. "Has she been convicted yet?" She raises her hands and pulls her ponytail a little tighter. It's a habit Spencer noticed ages ago. Whenever things get serious, JJ adjusts her ponytail. Not that Spencer spends particularly much time watching JJ from afar. He looks away.

"Yes. She was arrested and directly confessed to the murders, so there was no need for a long trial in court." Bishop crosses his arms in front of his chest. "You have forty-eight hours before the sentence is carried out and these women will never be found again, if they should still be alive."

No one asks what the sentence is. In twenty-seven counts of murder, it is clear what was decided.

This woman faces the death penalty.

"So we're here to prove she didn't deserve the death penalty and it's entirely possible she didn't kill the women?" asks Matt, voicing what everyone is thinking. "I don't think it's going to do much good. After all, she already confessed. Why would we find out otherwise?"

"You're the BAU", Bishop replies plainly. "Other than her confession, she hasn't spoken a word, so maybe as a team you can find out more and we can save these women." He motions toward the one-way mirror and the team gives Emily several significant looks, but she doesn't respond. It's an order from above. Even she has no say in that.

"What happens when they find these women?" asks Luke. "What happens to her? After all, that would make her innocent of murder."

"You just let me worry about that, Agent." Bishop's voice is cold. "Do your best." With those words, he opens the blinds to reveal the interrogation room behind the one-way mirror.

A young lady is sitting at a narrow metal table. She has placed her hands on the surface and intertwined her fingers as if she were praying. But God will not be able to help her with this.

Her hair falls into her forehead and only when she lifts her head can Spencer make out her face.

It is a face he has known for years, decades even. The color of the eyes, the small scar at the hairline, the shape of the lips. Never in his life did he think he would ever see her again.

The girl who lived in the house next to him when he was growing up. The girl who had never made fun of him because he was different from the others, but had befriended him immediately. The girl he had fallen head over heels in love with as he got older, before they parted ways and he lost sight of her without ever taking his chance.

"Y/N", he says softly, barely audible because there is no air in his lungs. He has forgotten to breathe. But it's so quiet in the room that of course everyone has heard that name. All eyes are on him.

"You know her?" asks Emily, and Spencer nods weakly. He's speechless. A cold shiver runs down his spine, and if he hadn't hidden his hands in his pants pockets, the others would notice how much he's shaking.

"Ladies and gentlemen", says Bishop, who has moved away from them and is now standing at the exit of the room. He seems oblivious to the fact that Spencer knows this woman. "You have forty-eight hours." With that, he leaves the room and Spencer winces as the latch snaps into place. There's no turning back now.

It rings.

Shrill and loud and angry.

An alarm clock on the table behind them indicates they have exactly two days. Two days to find out what the girl from the house next door has done.

Spencer has a feeling. And the clock is ticking.

[spencerreidsmiles]

Thoughts on King Knight

- a VERY fast paced movie, like there is no time to comprehend ANYTHING bc it moves so quickly

- the entire cast is so attractive,,, I am in love with mgg and literally every single one of the women in the movie no joke

- plot was,,,, interesting; not all of it really made…sense??? And it wasn’t fleshed out enough imo

- soundtrack SLAPS

- lighting and cinematography also SLAPS

- the cartoon sections??? Very unexpected and VERY mind boggling but also cool??

- personally did not really like the ending!

- has some really great quotes and scenes (Alexandra sword scene <3)

- found family tho <3

Overall would definitely recommend watching it if you can find it!! It’s a really short movie (80 minutes) and it’s a WILD ride

[spencerreidsmiles]

Ahhhhhh I love this!!! (Also I identify WAY too much with this reader Jesus Christ)

I’m Watching

—

Summary: You can’t help but be jealous after seeing Spencer and Lila kiss. (Inspired by 1x18 Somebody’s Watching)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU!GN!Reader

Warnings: mutual pining, mild angst

Category: Angst/Fluff

—

It’s hard to be be upset with Spencer when he looks so damn cute.

With his wet hair sticking to his forehead, rosy cheeks, and the sleeves of a brown sweatshirt pulled over his hands— he looks innocent enough to make you melt.

If only he hadn’t made out with Lila Archer in a pool an hour prior.

You’re glad Spencer caught the Unsub without anyone being harmed.

And you know there’s no logical reason to mad at him.

After all, you haven’t even told him how you feel, let alone shown it. You act as if being around him is the most platonic activity ever. So, who are you to blame him when he sticks his tongue down the throat of an upcoming actress/model.

Maybe it’s coming from a place of jealously.

Lila’s skinny, blonde, and gorgeous— you’re not above her to admit that. And while you’re a self assured person, it’s hard to feel 100% confident when you’ll be compared to that.

You don’t plan on throwing yourself a pity party. Wallowing in regret and insecurity isn’t in your nature. But, you can’t stop thinking about the What Ifs.

What if you had told Spencer how you felt?

What if Spencer hadn’t kissed Lila?

What if Spencer’s in love with Lila?

What if it’s too late?

You retreat from inside your head, noticing a presence next to you.

It’s Spencer.

He’s sat down on the edge of the curb with you, hands still tucked into the sleeves of the sweatshirt. His hair is dry now, blowing effortlessly in the midnight breeze. You don’t stare for long, bringing your gaze back to the cop cars in front of you.

“Hey, (Y/N).” He mutters sheepishly.

“Hi.” You muster up the most genuine grin you can. “I heard you’re the lady’s man of the BAU now.” Your heart aches as you watch the way his face lights up at the statement.

“I-I’m not— That’s Derek’s job.” He blushes.

“I don’t know.” You tsk.”I haven’t seen Derek make out with a Hollywood star in a pool— while on the job, mind you.” Spencer chuckles lightly at your words. You‘d always been good at pretending to be unbothered, proficient at concealing your emotions.

“It was unprofessional, wasn’t it?”

You shrug, “You could’ve done far worse than just kissing her.”

Spencer sputters at your comment. “I-I don’t—I don’t think...”

“I’m just teasing.” You laugh rather solemnly.

He plays with the hem of sweatshirt fabric nervously, “D-do you t-think I should ask her out?”

You bite your lip, willing your heart to stay intact. “Why are you asking me.”

“Y-You’re my friend, and I trust y-you.”

Sighing, you shrug once more. “I-I don’t know how often you’ll be in California. And, for obvious reasons, long distance might not work out. But...” you pause for a moment to intake a large breath. “If she’s nice, and you think she’ll treat you well— then it’s at least worth a shot, right?”

You’re last words are more to convince yourself rather than Spencer. You’d sabotage yourself left and right if it meant that he receives a shot at being happy. After all, you’re not entitled to be with him, and there’s no guarantee that you ever will be.

“She’s... I don’t know... famous. I can’t date somebody famous.” He huffs, resting his chin in his palm ever so adorably.

You turn to face him. “Who says you can’t?”

“It just— It probably won’t work out.”

“So?” You chuckle. “You’re young, Reid.”

“So are you.”

You roll your eyes, “Whatever. I’m saying that there’s time for you to take a few risks, even make a few mistakes. Just... do what you think you should do; And I won’t ever say this again, but every now and then, follow your heart.”

“Do you?” He asks quietly.

You raise a brow, “Do I what?”

“Follow your heart?” He looks up at you with his big doe eyes and you have to glance away for a moment.

You pull your lower lip between your teeth nervously, taking a moment to think about his question.

“Not as much as I should, Reid.”

And with that, you stand up, giving a firm pat on his shoulder.

“Think about it.” Is all you say to him before leaving.

It takes everything in your power to not look back as you walk away.

But, if you had, you’d see Spencer watching you.

—

You declined Elle’s offer to go the hotel bar with her and Morgan, opting out to drink the small bottles of liquor in your room’s mini fridge.

If Spencer had taken your advice, he’d probably be undressing Lila in her penthouse right about now, and he only has you to thank for that last push.

You throw back a shot of Jameson— hardly tasting it.

You won’t let yourself be upset, or sad. You’d either learn not to push people away, or live a life of solitude. It’s all up to you, and you keep choosing the latter.

A sudden knock at the door prompts you to stop spiraling.

You expected Elle to be outside, begging you to come hang out with her and Morgan at the bar. But, when you peer through the peep-hole, you see Spencer.

He’s changed out of the sweatshirt and into a beige, corduroy sweater. He’s slipped his glasses on— they’re your favorite and you made sure to tell him that when he first wore them.

He looks as beautiful as he always does... but why is he here?

You reluctantly pull the door open, “Reid? What are you doing here?”

He can bear to look up at you, only muttering a small “Can I-I come in?”

You step aside to usher him into your hotel room. “You want a drink?” You ask, shaking an unopened bottle of whiskey.

He shakes his head, sitting on the edge of your bed. “N-no thanks.”

You make sure to keep a safe distance between the two of you, remaining at the small table.

“So... What’s up? Did you talk to Lila?”

Spender sighs, “Yeah... sort of.”

Your eyebrows knit together and you scoff, “Sort of? What do you mean ‘sort of’?”

“I talked to her after... you know, the whole ordeal.” He explains. “And, she was definitely shaken up, and scared, but I asked about our kiss in the pool, and what it meant for... us.” You viably cringe at the word. “She said that she didn’t know, and I agreed. Then, I explained the concept of transference to her, and it seemed to make a lot of sense to the both of us.”

You swallow the knot in your throat, “So you came over here just to tell me you didn’t ask her out.” You hope you don’t sound too enthused at the prospect of him remaining single.

Spencer begins to pace around the room, continuing for a few moments before taking a seat across from you.

“N-no. I’m taking your advice.” He clarifies.

You sip your drink, laughing. “Wasn’t my advice to ask Lila out?”

He shakes his head, “No. You told me to follow my heart.”

“Well,” you shrug. “if your heart wasn’t in it, that’s okay. There’s plenty of other people—“

“That’s not what I meant!” He interrupts, causing you to bit your cheek.

“I’m here because I’m following my heart. A-and I don’t know if I’m just getting my hopes up with this whole thing— and maybe I am. But you told me to follow my heart, and it lead me to you.”

“Reid...”

“Let me finish.” He pleads. “I’ve liked you for a long time, a really, really long time. I kissed Lila because I thought I couldn’t have you. And I-I know you’re encouraging me to date other people— which definitely isn’t a good sign— but I’m young, and I’m allowed to take risks, and things are supposed to go wrong because that’s how I grow.”

“So,” He clears his throat, “This is how I feel about you. How do you feel about me?”

Spencer clenches his eyes shut, bracing for the impact of rejection. But, it never comes.

“I want you to be happy, Spencer.” The sound of his first name rolling off of your tongue makes him sigh with content. “That’s all I ever want for you.”

“But?”

You give him a tight lipped smile, “Could you find that with me?”

Spencer thinks your self doubt is concerning. He’s bewildered that you can’t realize how great of a person you are. It pains him to watch you stray from your own advice.

“You said it best, (Y/N). You’re young, you’re allowed to take risks, and make mistakes, and to have fun. And, I’d like to think things would work out between us in the long run. So, can you stop worrying about how things fall apart when they haven’t even began?”

You rest you head in your hands, leaning closer to him. “You’re too good for me, you know that, right?”

“I’m not. I’m really, really not.” He replies.

“Off the record,” You whisper, “I’ve liked you for a while, too.”

Spencer can’t hold back his grin. He’s practically beaming at this point. “Do you want to try this? You and Me?”

You nod, “I-I think I do. Do you?”

He reaches out, shakily taking your hands in his.

“I’d want nothing more.”

—

“You’re my sun, my ocean, my air. I want nothing more, and need nothing more, than to have you forever.” -Unknown