#have had the soup 2 write this if I didn't see the post

[ranboo5]

Anyway [stretches] under a cut because it got Long as usual; tl;dr at the bottom

The thing abt c!Ranboo is his motivation and his actions don’t always align and that is bc of the eternal nature of c!Ranboo as living in a society and Balancing Priorities. He is always self-compromising in its relationships w/ others; more often than not when it agrees to do smth with someone it is doing it not bc it believes in the cause but because it has priorities it needs to mitigate. (Ranboo has not believed in any of the causes put forth by Someone Else in their life the closest they get is the Syndicate and even there it’s only reassured to bc it is reassured it can share opinions)

This starts off wayyyy early with it agreeing to help grief despite not really having a personal reason to do it, and with it collaborating w/ New L’Manberg even through things like the Butcher Army. It consistently does not want to be seen as In Opposition. It works with Tmmy and Techno in large part bc it doesn’t want to come off as opposed 2 them, and bc it has personal investment (+guilt) in Tmmy. Ranboo will literally act like this

- as self preservation - out of a desire to help+spare the feelings of ppl it doesn’t trust to negotiate with - especially later, so it can try to mitigate the parties it’s collaborating w/ -- if he’s involved in the effort, he has more traction 2 attempt to mitigate anything terrible it might do (even when most of the time he doesn’t manage to do this)

This is part of why he initially joined th Syndicate and this is why he worked with Wilbur over th course of the burger arc. Some combination of this is also why he works w/ Dream, smth that is frequently overlooked in Ranboo Analysis; Ranboo volitionally[1] collaborates w/ Dream despite, obviously, having a lot of Active Dislike for Dream and what he is doing, out of a combination of a) he would not want 2 frame himself as Opposed To Dream in any interaction w/ Dream, b) he is generally sympathetic and pitying, c) ideological agreement w/ some aspects of Dream’s goals, and d) desire to mitigate/stay close to Dream. Ranboo keeps his friends close and enemies closer 2 some degree

His relationship w/ Tbbo is not an exception to this it is part of the pattern. It’s just one that has much more present, personal, and consistent stakes. Ranboo complies w/ Tbbo the same way he complies w/ the Syndicate when he’s worried they’re threatening, the same way he complies w/ NLM, the same way he complies w/ Wilbur in the burger arc, th same way he complies with Tmmy early on, the same way he complies w/ Dream offscreen. This is a Known Tactic Ranboo pursues; their project is ultimately of survival and compassion and survival and compassion are both things they have to sacrifice to keep

Tbbo is a unique priority to Ranboo almost in the same way all of the aforementioned r slightly different, unique priorities; in Tubbo’s case, Ranboo is extremely invested in keeping Tbbo safe from others and from Tbbo’s own self with a particular fervor for a very long time. I’m not rehashing the entire beeduo meta here but Ranboo does have particular interest and a particular prioritization for Tbbo for a long ass time; arguably post-NLM and thru burger arc, Tbbo is its first priority bc Ranboo loves him and has convinced itself it’s the only one who can fix him and has also mostly-correctly observed that no one has really been looking out for him. Tubbo is an urgent target in Ranboo’s projects of compassion and of survival both

When those stakes r released, tho, in the burger van conversation (the “you weren’t happy before?”) Ranboo no longer has Tbbo at the same priority level irt the project of survival especially, and, despite how guilty and upset it makes them, prioritizes their 5D chess game with Wilbur instead (ironically sacrificing a solid chunk of its project of survival). Its motives @ the end of Ho16 r commonly cited as being abt Tbbo but that’s not entirely what he says and if it was Ranboo HAS the kind of analytical presence of mind to know that it Killing Himself doesn’t help Tbbo as much as it deals with Wilbur

Ho16 is abt Ranboo winning aforesaid 5D chess game; Tbbo is only part of the stakes 4 that and Mitigating Tbbo is no longer Ranboo’s top priority w/ that. Ranboo’s final monologue is more than anything reminiscent of his earlier arguments about sides and collateral. It’s part of the larger project of compassion, and it’s about the distorted version thereof tht comes with Ranboo getting stuck in its head and its machinations, too; like Tbbo is important to Ranboo and the carelessness abt Tbbo is something unacceptable but to claim Ranboo’s motivations revolve around Tubbo specifically is reductive of his other relationships and actual larger ideological motivations 

I have a problem w/ framings of this as positive/romantic devotion that amkes Ranboo better or as devotion at all bc repeatedly it is shown it makes him Worse, and is in fact the opposite of devotion it's disingenuous by nature. Ranboo is lying. This is so essential to all of this when Ranboo acts like he is in step with you specifically he is lying you are never guaranteed to be the priority. This is him at his worst, th project of compassion at its most compromised, and it’s a state that they explicitly don’t like. Ranboo does not like compromising itself and when they do that they Get Hurt (NLM and outpost arc having the most confabulation we’ve seen in Ranboo in general, Ranboo hating himself for this, Ranboo complying w/ shit like the experiments, Ranboo in all these environments where he is playing this being Constantly Markedly Afraid)

Even throughout the time period where Tbbo is technically priority #1 Tbbo is still . Priority Number One as opposed to like a genuine devotion. Tbbo having a handle on Ranboo in this way is not devotion it is fear and it is again not a mechanism tht Ranboo Only engages for Tbbo it’s just a mechanism, that again IS BAD FOR RANBOO BOTH IRT MENTAL HEALTH AND MORALITY, that has thru circumstance become one tht Tbbo is best at unintentionally activating. Ranboo Does This When You Are His Project. And When He Had A New Project Aside From His Husband That’s What He Did To Him

TL;DR

Ranboo does comply with Tubbo in various activities tht he doesn’t believe in but this isn’t ? Unique to Tbbo this is just Ranboo’s general socialmeta+ what allows it to move in the world the way it does

Ranboo cares about Tubbo deeply and this is relevant to his motivations but that’s only one part of his larger motivations

It’s also honestly not great to frame this complianceas romantic or good bc it’s actively smth that Makes Them Worse in multiple senses

It takes out a ton of Ranboo’s decision making and the negative effects thereof

Anyway stream

[1] No, one dumb as fuck line from Dream Of All People in that lame ass excuse for a finale does not negate All The Things In CRanboo’s Story including working w Dream being part of this consistent pattern, Ranboo’s story being abt agency responsibility and decision in such a way tht it is completely undercut by mind ctrl plots, Ranboo’s ideological agreement w Dream on some matters, the alliumduo parallels, and everything we do know abt the enderwalk as a concept and Ranboo how he acts in and out of it

[soupyloopyx]

main / pinned post (intro) - this is really long btw (sorry)

hi i'm soph, or sophy, but you can also call me soup :) she/her

i'm a minor so please don't be weird.

this is just a new intro post because the old one was so bad and also because!! i have 100 followers now!!!

music:

pretty obvious, but i'm a massive fan of taylor swift!

i also like: sabrina carpenter, arctic monkeys, the 1975, david bowie, maisie peters, paramore

a couple things about me:

i'm pan yet lack cooking skills

i write :)

i'm from england

i should probably be studying right now

i'm doing music gcse and i play the clarinet !!

i'm have braces, right now they are purple

I LOVE MY CAT OREO SO MUCH WITH ALLLLLLL MY HEART

i love the marauders era, which brings us to...

fandoms i'm in: harry potter/marauders (yeah that's kind of it, i don't really do much other than that lol)

ships <3

marauders: wolfstar, jegulus, jily, rosekiller, dorlene, marylily, pandalily

harry potter: drarry, romione, pansy x hermione

i have a cat called oreo and he is genuinely the cutest thing ever, so i had to share and give him his own section <3

eras tour section:

london night 7 (19th august 2024), block 503, row 2, seat 89

surprise songs: long live/change, the archer/you're on your own kid

outfits: pink lover, silver noodles fearless, not tv red, wonderstruck speak now, normal rep, blue folkmore, blue/orange 1989, ily ttpd + black with white jacket, pink ss, pink midnights + stars and moon + redpink jacket

please be my friend if:

you share my music taste or want to introduce me to people

you want to be lol

you like my posts

you aren't a creep

you like me in general

we have the same ships :)

please don't interact if:

you are "anti-taylor"... i don't care if you don't like her, but if you actively hate her, then what's the point in following me??

you're racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.

you're a creep. i will block you.

you're a bot/your account is used to promote any kind of sexual service

ALSO GUYS HI THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!

since i hit 100 followers, i should probably do something special (i didn't think i would even get 10 help me)

SO be on the look out for that <3

yeah so i do want to use this tumblr for fanfics as well as a personal account because my writing is personal to me. i think i'll go back to posting scenes and funny bits i've written. also, since everything takes so long to write lol, i should post """spoilers""" or just what i'm working on.

in english, we've been doing so much goddamn analysis of language and structure that i'm not even motivated to write anything but analysis so 😭😭😭😭😭

this is the end, fellas. see ya around.

[happilychee]

The aromantic Levy headcannons anon here!

Levy is in a qpr with Jet & Droy. Gajeel ofc becomes a part of it once he joins Fairy Tail. So does Lily

She did feel like she was a bit of an outcast since the girl's and some guys would talk about romance and she didn't understand it. Same as Lucy, Levy enjoyed reading about it, but the love parts just to her, weird and confusing

Jet & Droy helped her figure herself out and finding out she was aromantic made her smile.

Levy had to contain her excitement when Lucy approached her, talking the way she used to about romance. She was happy that she wasn't the only aro girl in the guild.

Gajeel surprisingly was the easiest to tell that she was aromantic. "...I'm aromantic" "Cool" "Wow. That was easy" Natsu on the other hand, was the hardest. He just stood there with a confused look on his face so she had to explain it in a different way. "I prefer friendship over romance, Natsu" "So calling you my best friend is okay?" " Yes you dummy"

it's not a lot but I hope you like them

sending hugs and a nice warm bowl of soup your way, anon; I love these mwah <2

writing this post just in time for aromantic spectrum awareness week!!

aromantic fairy tail headcanons

♡ yes to everything above. levy adores jet and droy, then gajeel and lily. she gets such a sense of fulfillment and joy when she's with them.

♡ levy wears green on valentine's day. yes, it's a statement, and she'll patiently spend the day explaining aromanticism to anyone who asks. she also binges on discount chocolates with lucy that night as they watch shitty romcom movies. the two can and do coexist.

♡ another qpr/qpp pairing is juvia and lisanna. they're not only close emotionally; lisanna is by nature a physically affectionate person, and juvia is severely touch starved. the only person she could theoretically be comfortable with touching her is gajeel, but he's not one for soft affection (she's been thrown into too many brotherly headlocks over the years.) so when lisanna casually grabs onto juvia's arm when they're out and about, a switch flips in her head. juvia is very touchy with lisanna, and only lisanna. this leads to most of the guild thinking they're dating.

♡ the words "we're just friends" leave a bad taste in lisanna's mouth. juvia wrinkles her nose when she hears people say "oh, so you're not more than friends." both consider each other one of the most important people in their lives. them being friends doesn't somehow diminish that. juvia lets the worry slip when she's shopping with lucy, who brings her to levy. the three have a long and thoughtful discussion, but honestly, it leaves juvia feeling confused. she's never been one for close relationships with anyone, given her childhood, and all these labels make her head hurt. levy and lucy say that's fine, the only person she really needs to make sure is on the same page is lisanna.

♡ lisanna is very much on the same page of "idk what we are but I like where we are." they decide to just... keep doing what they're doing. when there's new developments (juvia gets a nosebleed when she sees lisanna in a swimsuit, to her own horror), they talk it out and set boundaries for what they want and don't want to do (juvia very, very shyly asks if she could give lisanna a kiss on the cheek.)

♡ also, at some point, juvia and lisanna move out of fairy hills and get an apartment together. mira objects to this only on the grounds that she won't be able to prevent them from starting kitchen fires with their baking attempts. she ends up over more often than not, and lisanna feels her chest swell with warmth at seeing her big sister and her best friend get along so well.

♡ also big aro vibes... gray, cana, and loke. the three of them are so chill about everything. the guild suspects they're in a relationship, but then they also see cana going out with lucy and get confused. gray just shrugs and says it's a girls' night. completely unbothered king. besides, he's got a board game score to settle with loke and natsu.

♡ erza, I think, is a big romantic at heart, but the thing is she does that to everyone. she gets a lot of money from s-class jobs, and there's only so much she can spend on herself or new sets of armor. eventually, team natsu starts finding beautiful bouquets of flowers on their doorsteps. someone dares to tell erza that men don't like flowers, and suddenly every man in fairy tail is getting a monthly bouquet of roses.

♡ erza also misses a lot of "romantic" cues. she wouldn't be able to tell if someone was flirting with her if her life depended on it. gray and natsu, the little shits, take full advantage of this to mess with the poor suitor. I also think erza is demi, so she really has to have a strong emotional bond with someone before she considers having sex with them. she likes to take care and be taken care of, so she wants it to be with someone who knows her inside and out.

♡ natsu honestly has huge aspec vibes, mostly because he completely bulldozes over any societal conventions, labels, and definitions. if natsu feels a certain way, he's going to let the person know. if he wants to be cuddly with them and they're okay with it, he will be cuddly. doesn't matter who they are; even laxus gets the occasional natsu cuddle. levy and lucy almost lose their minds because they're so busy having deep discussions about the intricacies of aromanticism, and then natsu comes in like a breath of fresh air because he genuinely does not care. not in a bad way, he loves to listen to lucy's passionate rants (she's cute when she's excited) but. it's just something that never bothered him. personally, I do think out of everyone, he's closest to lucy in the "romantic" sense, but even then, it's just a different type of relationship to him. there's no way in hell he would specifically choose just lucy over everyone else in the guild. they're all his family!

♡ in conclusion, fairy tail is aromantic and aspec as fuck.

[bisexual-queenie]

Could you please write more BNHA Pro Heroes as Incorrect Quotes. I need a Pt.2

OMG Im so happy that someone wanted a part 2 to one of my favorite posts that I made!! Here yall go!

(Few trigger warnings before we begin: Use if swearing, and mentions of violence an alcohol. Let me know if I missed anything!)

Ships mentioned (Vaugley and outright): Erasermic, Edgejeanist, Nightmight, and Kamui x Mount Lady

—————————————————————————

Eraserhead: You have to apologize to Takeyama.

Midnight: Fine.

Midnight: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

All Might: You often use humor to deflect trauma.

Nighteye: Thank you!

All Might: I didn't say that was a good thing.

Nighteye: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.

Present Mic: Do you remember that horrible roommate you had back in college?

Eraserhead: You mean you?

Mount Lady: Sometimes I feel like dying.

Kamui Woods: Wha-

Mount Lady: And then I remember that I won't be able to see you if I do.

Kamui Woods: *blushes*

———————————————————————

Best Jeanist: Sometimes I feel like dying.

Edgeshot: Good for you.

Miruko: Do I look nice?

Fat Gum: You look like you're about to set someone on fire.

Miruko: Perfect.

Present Mic: A fistfight CAN be romantic.

Miruko: And you know what the worst part is?

Ryukyuu: That you're having to process your pain without vodka?

Miruko: No.

Miruko: Yeah.

Midnight: If you found out you only had one day left to live, what would you do with it?

Eraserhead: Say goodbye and mend my relationships.

Present Mic: Something illegal.

Shirakumo: Accept my fate.

Tensei: I would message ten people saying that if they didn't forward the message to 10 other people, I would die tomorrow.

Eraserhead: What?

Shirakumo: That's fucking awesome. Can I change my answer?

Eraserhead: Hizashi, just GO TO THE HOSPITAL

Present Mic: Who's stab wound is this???? Is it OUR stab wound???? No! Stay out of it!

Hawks: I'm the proud owner of an IQ of 5 (and a half)!

Endeavor: Not for long.

Hawks: Please. It's all I have.

Present Mic: "Ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I'm falling asleep already.

Present Mic: "Cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, casual and fun. Short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic.

Nighteye: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

Present Mic: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

Gang Orca: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.

Edgeshot: Kuugo, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck.

Gang Orca: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.

Edgeshot: Well, I mean yeah.

Gang Orca: So come downstairs while they’re still hot.

Best Jeanist: Wait, you just made them?

Gang Orca: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.

Edgeshot: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Kuugo.

Present Mic: *speaking Spanish*

Eraserhead: I know, I know.

All Might: You speak Spanish?

Eraserhead: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Hizashi speaks.

All Might: I would never say that Mirai is a bitch and I don’t don’t like him. That’s not true…Mirai is a bitch and I like him so much!

Edgeshot: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

*Present Mic sneezes*

Eraserhead: Hizashi, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!

*anyone else sneezes*

Eraserhead: Oh my god. Shut the hell up.

Hawks: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack.

Miruko: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.

Fat Gum: Hey Sasaki?

Nighteye: Yeah?

Fat Gum: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Nighteye:

Nighteye: ...What.

Ryukyuu: So, what's it like living with Hakamada?

Edgeshot: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

Ryukyuu: ...

Edgeshot: I love them so much.

Fat Gum: I’m sorry, I really flew off the handle back there. It was like the handle was a bald guy going really fast, and I was his toupée.

Someone interviewing the Lurkers: What are the hardest things to say?

Mount Lady: I was wrong.

Edgeshot: I need help.

Kamui Woods: Worcestershire sauce.

Eraserhead: You’re drunk.

Present Mic: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Shouta.

Endeavor: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Hawks: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Best Jeanist: I got distracted halfway through.

Edgeshot: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Hawks: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?

All Might: Schrödinger's boys.

Miruko: FUCK!

Present Mic: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?

Nighteye: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.

Nighteye: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

Hawks: ...

All Might: ...

Miruko: ...

Present Mic: ...

Nighteye: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

[butch-bakugo]

" kamala was a cop don't ya know? She also supports Israel! Why is genocide not a deal breaker for you??"

Kamala was a DA, a district attorney. The district attorney is the government's lawyer. Cops are the governments body guards and personally killing squad. The person who stands in a court room and makes you pay a fine for graffiting the subway tunnel so the government can keep upkeep and the class traitor gay cop kicking a homeless man to death and setting their tent on fire with them in it is not the same shit. If your shitting on her for working in favor of the government (not even federal, state government), then you should also be shitting on the janitors mopping the floors of town hall. Not all government workers are equal.

As for the second point, call me a selfish asshole, but I would like to continue to be alive. I know, crazy thought, but I'm not willing to throw myself on your pseudo-moralistic holy blade as another point in the trans or gay or disabled or native death percentage so I can maintain that I didn't vote for someone with a slightly favorable leaning generally neutral opinion towards Israel. I can't fight Israel if I'm dead. I can't protect Palestine as a fuckin meat bag. I can't afford to put my rights on the line. I can't live to fight another day when I'm sacrificing myself.

Naw we writing this in the biggest text: I feel like all of you "protesting" voting to slightly improve our chances because you can't stand the thought that a candidate isn't perfect don't understand that voting is not something any sane minority with rights on the line would protest. I'm starting to think you all see voting as a public statement about how moral and pure and progressive you are and not what it actually is, a small act of many you should actively be taking to improve our situation.

I don't think some of you realize that some of the most successful changes in our government were constant and grueling actions taken slowly and by the book to garentee said right. The revolution will not happen over night and your ego is showing if you seriously think 2 terms of a great president will just suddenly get all our rights back and turn America into the progressive and accepting and diverse place it needs to be.

You are too busy fantazing about cutting off Mitch mcturtleforeskin's head when your local community needs you. Your spending too much time and energy posting a million links to gofundmes and never actually donate.

You may dress like an activist, talk like an activist and have amazing ideas like activists but you will never be an activist if you can't even volunteer at your local soup kitchen without agonizing for three weeks cause you have to call to set up your interview for it.

The reason garenteed rights like unions had stayed for so long is because unions organized and fought on the ground at the same time. Your no good to the movement if all you have is fantasies about punching terfs and Nazis and running in streets at protests screaming we will rock you and your not willing to sign up and get to work.

You work for the movement or the movement can't work for you.

[ask-the-face-man]

Hey Leo, are you and your brothers aware of all the fanfic writers and fanart artists who write and make art featuring you guys? Have you ever written/drawn something and posted it under a pseudonym to see what would happen?

As a nearly-adult red-eared slider, are you a vegetarian?

Do you guys have tails or did you lose them to the mutation? (I'd be very disappointed in Draxum for depriving you of your cute little turtle tails if he took them out of your DNA.)

What's the worst movie you've ever seen? What about that movie made it the worst?

If you could go to school/college, what class/major would you be most interested in?

Have you ever gotten Donnie to admit how many trackers he's put into each of you or just how much data those trackers can gather?

"Woah, woah, woah, that's a lot of questions.

Okay so, me and my brothers are very aware of all the fics and fanart. I'm a fan of it all! Well, most of it... I love fan art though I have yet to see someone do fan art from my blog but I've seen some super cool ones on Tumblr, maybe I should start sharing them?

2.) I'm not vegetarian, I blame dad for that one. I grew up on pepperoni pizza and burgers. But I do enjoy a nice crispy salad from time to time.

3.) I've never had a tail, Mikey thought he had one ones and tried squeezing it out, turns out it was just a trapped fart.

4.) Oh my hot soup, I saw this movie once on dad's birthday, Raph was certain it was gonna get good. Spoiler alert it didn't. It was called like Hansel and gretal witch hunter or something, I think it had Vin Diesel in it??

5.) if I could go to school I'd probably do drama or like sports.

6.) Donnie never admits his trackers, it's usually that we find them and he says 'oh yeah, forgot I placed that there.' he's so weird."

[amethystfairy1]

(Buckle up, this is gonna be a long one.)

Hi! Hello! How are you? :]

Let me just say, your work is simply incredible.

I've been binge-reading your TTSBC series for a few days now, as you can probably tell from all the kudos (you deserve them!), and I have been going crazy

First of all, I think this was the first Hermitcraft ship fic I've read. Conclusions/thoughts;

1) You've made me a flower husbands fan, great job, I am now obsessed with them

2) the relationship between Scott and Martyn is so precious to me, you have no idea

3) I am now a fan of ALL the relationships you've written; flower husbands, treebark, desert duo, Tango/Zed, Lizzie/Joel, Shelby/ Katherine, Etho/Doc (I hope I didn't forget anyone)

4) PEARL IS A MENACE AND I LOVE HER. SHE IS MY FAVOURITE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. She is the big sister™ and she is the best

5)Scar is a sweetheart and that is a FACT. HE WAS SO SWEET TO CUB?? AND TO GRIAN?? I LOVE HIM

6) I absolutely love mom Cleo, her and Bdubs are so kind and thoughtful and caring to each other, I will simply explode

7) KATHERINE STRAIGHT UP JUST SAID "nope" AND WENT BACK TO THE UNDER-CITY

8) I need more Scott as a journalist. I need to see his hunger to get all the details. I need to see him use his silver-tongue skills on someone, and I need to see Jimmy(or anyone) be scared but also fascinated. I need to see more Scott and Pearl fighting for the best interview.

I don't even watch cc!Scott, and now look at me. Im obsessed with his character.

9) PESKY BIRDS BEING LITTLE WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER I WILL CRY TEARS OF JOY. SMALL BDUBS?? CHILDREN ARE SO CUTE

10) I also,,, kinda,,, want to see someone react a bit badly to seeing their partner being from the under-city. Maybe,,, Martyn being angry with being lied to? Maybe,,, Scott screaming at him that what he's doing is helping no one? Maybe, maybe,,,,

(im secretly an angst-girlie at heart, what can I say. I love me some good hurt/comfort)

11)JOEL AND LIZZIE'S BACKSTORY IS ALL I NEEDED IN LIFE, I CAN NOW DIE HAPPILY

12) please let zed and tango have a happy ending pleasepleasepleasePLEASEPLE-

13) also the titles have all been so cool! I saw a post of yours that said you use terms of endearment, and I thought that was really cute :)

14) SOUP GROUP

In conclusion, I am crazy for your work, please feed us more.

To show you how crazy I've been over this series;

I went completely nuts, explaining to my friend some basics about it the moment I was sure I've read everything, and Im probably gonna make them read it too. I've already sent them the link to the series.

They are not even a Minecraft fan. They don't know what Hermitcraft is.

Anyway, this was all to say; you're amazing, your work is truly fantastic, your writing style is one of the best I've ever seen/read (and I've read a lot of fics, do not doubt me)

Please don't feel forced to write anything I've said! I'm just throwing ideas that came over my head when reading!

(your traveling thieves series is also amazing! Im just currently full of ttsbc thoughts rn, its eating me alive /pos)

Hope my spam liking was not annoying!

Have a great day!

:D

It was not annoying in the SLIGHTEST!

Hello hello, thank you, thank you! I'm so glad TTSBC has been so enjoyable for you and that you've had fun binge reading all of it!

I am delighted and honored to be the first author you've read that has written Hermitshipping and that you've enjoyed it and it's caused you to love all my ships! That's a great day for a fanfic author!!!

FLOWER HUSBANDS ARE MY FAVORITE! More people who like Flower Husbands? HAPPIER I AM! It is a DIRECT correlation!

Someone commented at some point that they reminded them of drunk girls comforting each other in the bathroom after a party, and I think that's exactly accurate 😆

YES! ALL THE SHIPS!

Pearl is the Big Sister ™️ of the group and if anyone hurts any of her little siblings it is game over!

Scar is SUCH a sweetheart in this AU! He's a superhero, he's a boyfriend, he's a best friend, he's a professor, and he's just doing his best to juggle it all!

Zom-Mom and Sentient Glowstick. Only the best combo!

Katherine said "Wait crap I think that was the love of my life!" and dove back in!"

Journalist Scott will be making a return in several pieces of the future, don't you worry! We'll get to see him strut his stuff! I'm very glad I've gotten you to love c!Scott even if you don't watch cc!Scott, that's just the best!

PESKY BIRRRRRRRBS!

ooooo there's an angsty take. Hm. Well, there is certainly more angst on the docket for everyone, I assure you, and while I can't promise that brand of angst in particular, there is other stuff left to unpack! Please look forward to it!

JOEL AND LIZZE! BUTTERFLY AND CAT LADY! MARRIED FOR OVER A DECADE AND RUNNING A BAKERY! ADORABLE!

Zedango will return! That is all I shall say!

I'm so glad you like the titles! I think it's very cute but I have to admit I'm starting to struggle to come up with terms of endearment I haven't used before 😆

SOUP GROUP

I'm so glad you're trying to get your friend into TTSBC! The nice thing is I don't think it's too terribly difficult to spring into without context of watching any of the CCs because the characters all pretty much explain themselves within the AU. Maybe looking up some fanart for what everyone ought to look like, but it's not the worst thing!

Glad to hear you also like Traveling Thieves! I was gonna point you that way when you said you were an angst girlie so good that you're already there!

Thanks so much for coming by! 💖

[lumen8s]

100 days of productivity

12.03.2024

day 2/100

Okay, so I am definitely not yet in the habit of logging what I do.

I have most definitely done productive things since I made my last post but I can't really be fucked to back track so we are just going to start from where we are at lmao.

today I.....

✿ went to work

this is the biggest thing I did today, I work in fine dining and tend to be there for most of my day / night so didn't have as much time to myself today as I usually would. However, work was very productive! I got a lot of little things done that had been missed recently, and had a nice conversation with one of the chefs about going with her if she starts her own restaurant

✿ got home and made dinner

the urge to buy food out is STRONGGGGGG but I am trying really hard to save money soooo I made a nice soup and some sweet potato gnocchi I cooked in brown butter to go in it. I love love love cooking so it was nice to get home and still have the energy to do that.

✿ unloaded the dishwasher

well..... mostly. I need to actually go finish that up after I finish up here but something that helps me when I am tired but still trying to get things done is do things on a timed rotation, so right now I'm writing this for ten minutes, but in the next ten minutes I'm gonna go finish up the dishwasher, maybe even load it.

✿ picked out some books to read!!!

I really used to love reading but have gotten out of the habit, I really want to make it a priority to read more, and read a variety of things. I love fantasy but it isn't always the mental challenge that I want to give myself. And I want to read books that help me be more introspective and in touch with myself. Anyways!! Here are the books I checked out from the library.

Sooo below the cut is my little tbr for this month ig!!

-How to write about music

I'm really excited about this one and have actually already started it, I love to write and even though I have only read the forward so far I really think I am going to enjoy this book.

-The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee

I am looking forward to reading this one! Although I could only check it out for 7 days, and I am thinking it might be a little heavy for me emotionally to rush through. I guess we will see

-Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune

this one has been recommended to me a BUNCH , and I have tried to read it like three times, and always lost momentum. I am DETERMINED to finish it this time.

-When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

-The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

-12 Rules for Life by Jordan B. Peterson

I know there are a lot of "self-help" type stuff in this list, but I am kind of on a journey to figure out my personal beliefs. I was in such a bad place for such a long time. Now that I am trying to pull myself out of it, I find myself wanting to read how others feel about the "best" way to live. So then I can decide for myself if I agree.

-Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima

-How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes

-The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

-The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

-Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza

Anyways thats the list!!! I am hoping to make a post with some of my thoughts for each of them.

[lili-loves-whump]

the difference part 2 surely surely surely also ily and ur writing sm!! been a follower for like ages it feels like and ur posts make my world light up with joy

"haha thank u so much," she chuckles, "I really appreciate the follow."

lili-loves-whump presents:

The Difference Pt. 2

here's 1 here’s 3

"And, uhm, yeah. That's what happened. They snuck a homeless child into their house. Villain thought they were cute, and fed them leftover soup and chicken nuggets from lunch, a huge slab of sponge cake, and left them to shower and sleep in the guest bedroom.

The kid would've only been about 11, maybe 12. Villain had no idea how long they'd been on the streets, what horrors they could have seen. They knew there was a chance a neighbour saw them bring a child into the house and called the cops but they didn't care. They just wanted the kid they'd found to be safe and warm.

As they sat on the couch that night, flicking through channels on the tv, stomach rumbling, they wondered how they'd be able to pay for the child.

Supervillain had taken another cut out of their winnings recently, and without a job, they barely had enough to pay for rent and utilities for themselves.

With a sigh, Villain crept past the guest bedroom door and slipped into the kitchen, pulling the fridge open. A few tiny bottles on condiments, some floppy lettuce, and half a serve of egg whites.

Nothing.

The tiny cupboard Villain used as a pantry held half a pack of spaghetti, a few different spices, and a snack size packet of Pringles. Villain cracked open the packet, frustrated tears welling up to see it was basically empty and full of ants. They slammed the cupboard door closed and tossed the chip packet in the general direction of the bin, groaning when it hit the tiles.

They slumped against the island bench, not noticing the door crack open to the guest bedroom. Pale yellow light shone through, and Villain lifted their head as heavy footsteps padded towards them.

"Mister?" the kid asked, "what's wrong?"

Villain sniffed and wiped a stray tear with their hand. Their eyes felt puffy, and their feelings too big, but they still forced themselves to smile. "Nothing," they muttered, "I'm just trying to work out food for tomorrow."

The child smiled softly, newly cleaned teeth glowing against the bluish moonlight shining from the window. "I don't eat much, because I was never given much. I'll be gone by tomorrow morning, then you can work out food for yourself." They shrugged, and Villain ignored the shiny glint in their eyes as they frowned. "I'm tired. Goodnight, Mister. I really appreciate having somewhere nice to sleep for the night."

Villain didn't stop the kid from walking away, closing the door, and turning off the guest bedroom light, even as guilt and longing stabbed their chest."

[softxsuki]

Hi Han! Hope you're having a wonderful day and thank you for considering my request!! <3 Can I have a letter from Shinichiro where he confesses his feelings to a close friend of his (aka the reader) who he has a crush on? The tone can be a little nervous but also very loving and full of fluff <3 The genre can be fluff ofc and maybe friends to lovers vibes?? As for the location, let's make it an evening his friend decides to stop by to help him with taking care of Mikey and Emma? He's been wanting to confess for a while but he didn't get the nerve to do so until his friend goes up to his room to take something and sees a pile of crumbled up papers on his desk. And what is that weird box near them?

About me, hmm. Let's say that I am going to medical college while has already started his bike shop- so I go over to his place after classes to hang out for a bit- so we'd be around 20 or 20+? I like visiting different places like museums, galleries and libraries (even if I say no, Shinichiro always drives me there no matter how far away it is) and though he says he finds them boring, he always tags along. I like singing a lot! And I play the piano too! I write from time to time (poems mostly!) I'm extroverted but I do find myself being shy in a lot of occasions. I love to talk about anything that fascinates me! I like weird little gifts that people make or buy- they mean a lot to me ;)

As for the direction of the story- after everything happening and I read the letter- I notice Shinichiro running towards the room and watch his face turn red as he realises what I am reading. You can decide where it goes from there... (but ofc I say yes) ;)

Han, thank you so much for doing this and I hope this doesn't affect your health in anyway (or I am going to come for you :D with some warm blankets and soup hehe). I hope you have a terrific day and an amazing week! Thank you once again! Bye!! -🕰

Shinichiro's Confession Letter To His Best Friend

Valentine's Day Letter Event Pt.2 Masterlist (CLOSED)

Pairing: Shinichiro x Gn!Reader

Warnings: some crying, kissing

Genre: Fluff, friends to lovers

Post-Type: Letter

Word Count: 1.5k (oof)

Summary: In which you find a letter addressed to you in your friend, Shinichiro's, room on Valentine's Day

[A/N: Hello hellooooo!! Happy Valentine's Day! Quick note--Mikey and Emma are both young here, just to let you and everyone else reading this know! I hope you enjoy it <3]

“Mind if I borrow a shirt?” You ask your friend beside you, looking down at the food that was now all over your own shirt.

Shinichiro was in charge of his two siblings for the night and had invited you over to help him watch over them. Little Mikey and Emma–one more chaotic than the other, but regardless you couldn’t turn down his offer to see two of your favorite kids in the world…and your best friend who was also your crush…

“Huh? Uh y-yeah sure, you know where my room is already,” He stammers out, red in the face at the prospect of seeing you in one of his shirts. Emma and Mikey were hyper-focused on the TV screen, one of their favorite cartoons was keeping their attention, as he addressed you.

Oblivious to his burning face in the dimly lit room, you thank him and head into the direction of his room. Shinichiro’s eyes burn into your back as you walk away. He sighs hopelessly, turning his attention back to his siblings as you disappear into his room. How much longer would he be able to keep his composure around you? The cracks were already starting to show and break even more as his affection for you grew day by day. 

You close the door behind you, hoping Emma or Mikey wouldn’t try and open it while you changed since there wasn’t a lock on it. Your eyes explore Shinichiro’s inviting room, taking it all in as you had never been in there alone before. It was fairly tidy, the familiar smell of him smashing you in the face, making your heart flutter slightly. You make your way to his dresser, digging through the bottom drawers for a shirt. 

Your movements are quick as you cautiously remove your shirt, not wanting any of the remnants of food on you to spill on his floor, and you slip on one of Shinichiro’s shirts. A quick task that took you no less than two minutes to do, but as you turned around to leave his room, your heart told you otherwise. A quick look-around wouldn’t hurt anyone, right?

Thousands of thoughts and fantasies filled your mind of the raven-haired man who you had a burning crush on. What would it feel like to cuddle with him in his bed? To wear his clothes more often? To fall asleep in the same bed, limbs intertwined? To be his–what would that feel like? Your heart craved to know more than ever–you were tired of being only a friend to him; why couldn’t you be more? Would he even feel the same way? Is that even possible?

Your thoughts go blank though as you spot a box on Shinichiro’s desk with papers sticking out of it. You can’t help but approach it and open the lid of the box, glancing at all the papers inside it. One paper in particular though, catches your attention even more. Jealousy and fear fill the pit of your stomach at the sight of an envelope with a heart drawn on the front of it. Was this for someone he liked? Or maybe from someone who liked him? 

With your heart racing, your curiosity gets the best of you and you find yourself opening the envelope and taking out the paper inside it. It’s a letter…with your name written at the top of it. You begin to read with a hopeful heart;

“Dear Y/N,

Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m still not entirely sure if I can even find the courage to give this letter to you…but I guess if you’re reading this, then I did! I’m writing this letter to you, not as a friend, but as someone who has had a crush on you for a few years now. Is that shocking? Hopefully it is because I’ve tried my best to control my emotions whenever I’m around you in fear of scaring you off with these feelings.

You’re my best friend, someone Mikey and Emma also look up to–perhaps that’s where it started?

Seeing the way you treated my siblings as your own. Your ability to light up any room you walk into, your kindness, your drive to always be better than you already are–you’re absolutely amazing. I guess the more I saw these little things, the more my heart started seeing you differently. I couldn’t meet up with you without going red in the face, blaming it on the exercise I wasn’t doing, or that old excuse of having been out in the sun for too long. I can’t even take my mind off you; as I write this, images of us together in the future fills my mind. A positive outcome of you reading this letter–IF you ever read it. 

But I’m also scared.

Scared to lose the friendship that we already have. I don’t want to scare you off and how could I turn back from saying all this if you don’t feel the same way? We’d slowly drift apart, and not only would I lose you, but so would Emma and Mikey–they love you so much. And I lo- actually no I don’t want to scare you any further. I like you Y/N. I like you a lot.

I write this with the plan to give it to you on Valentine’s Day and I’d love to know if you’d want to be mine this year and the next, and every year moving forward. Valentine’s Day has always made me so anxious. I was nervous you’d call me one Valentine’s Day saying someone asked you out. I don’t even want to picture you with someone else except for me. 

I hope I don’t sound too greedy or desperate. I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same way! Just know that I truly care, and I’d love to be with you and walk together towards our future. Yes, OUR future. I want the future to be ours–together. Gosh this is so dumb, I’m sorry.

Will I ever give this to you? Hopefully.

Your hopeless crush, 

Shinichiro Sano.xx

If your heart wasn’t already racing, it definitely was now. You couldn’t believe your eyes. Shinichiro felt the same way about you, for what looks like a pretty long time. How had you not noticed before? 

You read and re-read the letter over and over again, allowing his words to sink in. This was real, right?

“Y/N! WAIT,” You suddenly hear loud footsteps run towards the bedroom door and Shinichiro flings it open with fear in his eyes. He pauses in the door frame, taking in the image of you in his shirt which makes his heart leap in his chest, but then he sees the open box and the letter he had written a few days ago, in your hands, and that’s when his heart drops down to his feet.

“I- I can explain. You see it was ju-”

“Thank you,” you cut him off, tears beginning to pool in your eyes–happy tears of course, “Thank you for liking me.”

He was flabbergasted to say the least. Images of you being disgusted with him or uncomfortable around him after reading his letter left his mind as the smile on your face filled his heart. He slowly walks towards you, cupping your face and wiping your tears away.

“Why are you crying?” He soothingly asks.

“I’m sorry, I just never thought you’d like me as much as I like you…” another confession. 

His hands pause from wiping your tears, taking in your words before a huge smile appears on his face, “Really?”

“Really Shin,” you laugh, wiping the rest of your tears away, embarrassed that they fell from your eyes without your permission. This was a time to be happy! “And I’d love to be your Valentine this year, next year, and every year to come.”

Overwhelmed with joy, he hugs you tight, scared that if he lets go, the world would crumble and he’d wake up to find out it was a dream.

“Can I…kiss you?” He shyly asks with you still in his arms.

“Of course.”

He leans in and your lips connect in an innocent kiss. Your first kiss together–the first of many to come. He sighs in content, disconnecting your lips and leaning his head against yours.

“I’ve dreamt of this moment for so long, I can’t believe it’s actually happening.”

“Same here, especially not on Valentine’s Day. I’m glad I snooped around though. I’m sure you probably wouldn’t have given that to me on your own, huh?”

“I would have…eventually.”

You laugh, hugging him tighter. “It all worked out in the end.”

“Yeah, I guess it did,” he hums in delight of feeling you in his arms, “Though I’m sorry we have to spend our first Valentine’s Day together babysitting my siblings. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. How about tomorrow?”

“Hey~ I love your siblings. I’m glad I could see them today! Anytime with you will be time well spent, but I will take you up on that date offer for tomorrow,” you wink.

He kisses you one more time, sealing the deal, before the two of you finally leave the room, remembering the two kids that needed to be supervised. You walk out hand in hand, which makes Mikey gag as Emma cheers for joy, making you both laugh. Everything was perfect.

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

LETTER EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Posted: 2/14/2023

[bellysoupset]

I should be sleeping but I can't, so let's do this. You asked for my comments; it's only fair I deliver.

I decided to go in the order you posted the fics - focusing on the Max + Vin + Wen trio for now -, and the first one I'm going to comment on is the Vince's low blood sugar, 2-part masterpiece.

His reason for oversleeping? This man LOVES his girlfriend. He must have been exhausted but stayed up until Wendy herself was yawning 🥺

Then Soph came with the sharing clothes question. It was hilarious. I love her character. She is so mean sometimes and tries her best to act like she doesn't want to be associated with Vince, but if anyone was to hurt her family, I know she would come after them like there was no tomorrow. Poor girl was so worried when Vin fainted. She didn't want to leave him alone and even touched his cheek despite not being a touchy person. Baby 💔

I loved the build up until the collapse, but all those little details after the collapse had me melting. Like Max being soft with Soph to get her out of the room asap before he focused on Vince. And I live for Vince calling Soph and Liv bambi. That is so sweet. No wonder she melted. I love nicknames and petnames so much. I use a bunch with my own siblings all the time too.

Also Max pulling Vince's hair into a pony tail with his very own hair tie. Then telling Vin he didn't see him in the cafeteria. Max wanted to have lunch with Vince, didn't he?

Don't even get me started on the 'you remind me of my friend' 'a handsome one?' conversation between these two. Like okay, I know Vin and Wen are in a happy relationship already, but I'm rooting for Max. They might be happier as a trio, just sayin' 👀😂

I don't think I ever mentioned this, but I love Vin as a teacher. History is not my absolute favourite, but I kinda love it. I'm sure his classes would be cool to attend. I have seen Jojo Rabbit, will he accept my essay too? Joking aside, he is also great at it because he understands the kids' needs and actually listens when they ask for extended deadline or something.

Btw, I need to ask. Was Max knocking on the door and coming into the classroom because this time it was Vince who (accidentally) held the students back and made them late from Max' class? Because that would be so funny.

Oh Gosh, I've just realised how long this already is and I haven't even commented on the second part yet. I told you I won't be able to shut up.

Anyways, I love Max' humour and his absolute(ly adorable) cluelessness when it comes to caretaking. I'm not worried though, he is going to learn it pretty soon with the rest of the dumbasses coming into the picture.

But like, he brought Vin to the infirmary, drove him home, and tried his very best despite being distracted a little, so he is already on the right path.

Btw, I am sooo in for the idea of Mama Monacelli inviting Max to dinner and going all out not to make his sensitive tummy hurt, and just basically adopting him like she did with Leo. 🥰🥰

Alright, I'm shutting up now. Gonna come back in further asks to comment on the other fics later though. You are going to get so tired of me by the time I finish flooding your inbox 🙈

Have a nice day / evening Soup 💞

- 💜

I'm SO not sorry I deterred your night, I wanna be but I'm really not 😂

Vince is so in love with this girl, I sometimes think I don't make it clear enough because they're not as dramatic about it as Luke & Bell are.

Also yes, Sophia would tear anyone who hurt her family to shreds!! I love writing mean girls sooo much, its the best of fun.

Vince would absolutely let you hand in your essay on Jojo and maybe even add a sticker or some funny notes on the edge. In my head Vince is not meant to teach teens/adults though, not at all. He's made to teach the little ones!

Max WAS outside because Vince held up the teens! In my first draft of the story I actually switched POV halfway through, because I really wanted to have Max annoyed that Vin had held them up and going there to rescue them, only to see Vince collapsing and freaking out.

I solved that by keeping the "flashback" in part 2, but I guess it makes part 1 a bit confusing 😂 I also had a whole line that I forgot to add, that was Max staring at Vince and just being 🤨🤨 "why is your shirt so tight? Whore" since Vin/Luke do not wear the same size!

I imagine Mama Monacelli is going to be very very mindful of Max's sensitive tummy and then he'll get sick either way, because he winds up eating too much 😭

Oh btw, I downloaded the movie, gonna watch tonight! I'll let you know tomorrow what I thought, but I looked at letterbox and it was SO WILD compared to what you described lol

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ february 2023

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 11 606

projects worked on: Andromeda Rogue; The Gemini Heist; and a Third, Secret WIP

proudest accomplishment: i'm about halfway through with AR1 draft 2! and i finished like, a bunch of drawings

books read: Architects of Memory by Karen Osborne; All Systems Red (Murderbot Diaries #1) by Martha Wells;

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

why do i feel like i wrote a lot less than i actually did. like i looked at my total and thought "now that can't be right... there's no way i wrote that much."

things are going better for some wips (AR) than they are for others (GH) so maybe my head is cancelling it out lol.

reading comments: Architects of Memory was basically "a corporate war over alien weapons featuring messy sapphics in space" and i liked it but it wasn't quite a coup de coeur, 4/5 stars. All Systems Red was an absolute delight, 5/5 stars, will be reading the rest of the series once my holds on Libby come through.

(also i started reading Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo this past weekend, and i blame it + it's precursor Ninth House for putting me in the mood to work on Third Secret WIP lately, as Ninth House is partially responsible for the genre shift in Third Secret WIP.)

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft 2)

i'm about halfway through this draft! i've passed 40k this month!

things are going super well. when i have the magical combo of time and energy and motivation to write i can get through scenes pretty easily, now that i don't have to worry about overall plot as much. plus i get to add little things here and there to beef it up.

i've mostly worked on the second act this month, which is where the team really starts going through things together.

there's one particular Azami chapter right before the midpoint that's a monster of lore-dropping. i had to rework it several times as i had an entire page of editing notes to make sure everything is coherent... and i'm still not entirely sure i've gotten it right 😭

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (outlining / draft 0.5)

not much to say about this one. didn't work on it as much. the plot for this wip continues to frustrate me. i'll find myself coming up with little ideas for the characters and the world... but when i try to sit down and come up with actual scenes and plot, my brain turns to soup.

☆ COMMENTS: THIRD, SECRET WIP

this wip is consuming me. devouring me with its teeth. i'm surprised to find i may actually have a plot. turns out letting it hibernate for 3 years and tweaking with the genre has done some good.

i might cave and post an intro in the next month. stay tuned...

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

this is from the like, one scene i wrote for gemini heist this month. i just think it's funny. for context, Leo and Gabi are trying to get access to some archives in a university library, and are posing as students.

As [Leo and the archivist] talked, Gabi slipped her hand into the pocket of her ridiculous jacket. Her fingers closed around a small round device. She glanced around. While Leo was doing a great job at keeping the archivist distracted, the commotion had caught the attention of nearly everyone in the room.

Just be normal, she told herself. She inched her hand out of her pocket.

“Which archives exactly do you need access to?” [the archivist] asked.

“Art of the early Viheldan Empiric era,” Leo said. “My paper is on the Gemini statuettes.”

“Ah, that might be why. You need a special authorization form from a professor or another faculty member to access those.”

Leo pouted. “But my professor said he got access for me!”

“Perhaps you can message him—”

“Ugh— can’t you just call him right now and ask? I don’t have time for this.”

“Alright. I’ll give him a call.”

Shit. Gabi wasn’t ready. She fumbled to take out the device, concealing it as best as she could in the palm of her hand. All she needed was to place it on the archivist’s computer terminal without him seeing a thing before he made that call.

The archivist’s fingers hovered over the screen for a second before pressing an icon at the bottom. With a starburst motion of his hand, he expanded a search window and began typing in the name of the professor. Panicking, Gabi slammed the device in her hand onto the side of the terminal.

The already quiet room went completely silent. All eyes turned towards her. The archivist’s were wide and stunned. Leo’s were sharp and furious.

“I, uh,” Gabi sputtered, awkwardly keeping her hand glued to the terminal. The device whirred to life, vibrating softly under her palm. “I-I thought I saw a bug.”

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

andromeda trilogy taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa

gemini heist taglist:

@florraisons @akindofmagictoo @cream-and-tea @nicola-writes @memento-morri-writes @antique-symbolism @rose-bookblood @afoolandathief @pepperdee @avi-why @zonnemaagd @chazzawrites @analogued @enchanted-lightning-aes @innocentlymacabre @kahvilahuhut @celestepens @cilly-the-writer @extra-magichours @retrogayyde

[tomatosoupgroup]

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO (hello)

welcome to screen shot saturday video gamers

it's ya girl

callie

let's get right into the updates!

except...

i. i had a VERY busy week. school has been metaphorically beating my metaphorical ass metaphorically

so i uh.

don't really have a lot to show this week.

so what do we do??? do we cancel screenie saturday???

NO

you FOOL

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

and i have an idea for how it could!

remember these equations?

these are the equations for the amount of hp an enemy spawns in with and the amount of exp an enemy gives upon defeat respectively

the first and third from the top are the originals, while the second and fourth are simplified versions.

this may seem complicated! that's probably because it is.

you know i'm not constantly doing the same equations by hand. that would be fucking terrible. so how do i do all this?

INTRODUCING....

THIS PYTHON CODE I WROTE LAST WEEK!

it's a bit complex, but it can all be explained in this four step process...

it'll ask for all the important variables. (min/max lvl an enemy can spawn with, min/max effort values, infection status, etc etc)

then, it'll run them through the equations, and output the result!

that's it!

no seriously. that's it.

also apparently i wrote an equation for how much damage an enemy can do, but it seems like i didn't write it down for whatever reason...?

thanks past callie you rock

i guess i'll spend the rest of my post talking about a bit of a concern of mine.

you may have noticed that when I'm writing, I write properly. but when i'm typing my tweets or gamedev updates, i kinda...don't.

that has made me feel a bit conscious, i may be implying that i'm not the one writing, or something like that.

let's clear things up with a little QnA with yours truly!:

Q: Why do you type properly when writing, but improperly when posting?

A: writing stuff out takes time! i usually feel like posting (ESPECIALLY tweeting) is like a spur-of-the-moment kinda deal. like it's a quick thought that i convert to words.

Q: But why the gamedev updates?

A: first of all, i feel like there's two types of brand (Disclaimer: Tomato Soup Group is not a legally defined brand.) accounts:

the ones who act all professional and proper

the ones who act silly to gain attention

while i can see the approach for both options, i'm not really a big fan of either one.

but you see, dear reader. i have been blessed with an aspect that i have not revealed to you yet.

when companies (Disclaimer: Tomato Soup Group is not a legally defined company.) try strategy number 2, they're trying to appeal to a specific audience.

y'know, "hEy!!!!!!!! we're cool too!!! we're just like you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! buy our product"

let's call this audience the "twitter freaks" cuz this mainly happens on twitter

i mean, i would know.

because I AM A TWITTER FREAK MYSELF.

THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT

READ EM AND WEEP CHAT.

I GET A FREE PASS!

AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE (Disclaimer: Tomato Soup Group is not a legally defined brand, business, and/or company. For that reason, the main head of the group, Callie, is able to remain as a part of her own audience. This is literally just how she acts.)

Q: Do you use AI for any part of the project?

A: i use it to clean up spotty code occasionally.

it's always a last resort. like an "UGHHHHHHHHH IM SO TIRED BUT I GOTTA GET THIS WORKING BEFORE I GO TO BEDDDDDD" situation.

the code the ai generates is also seen as a "placeholder" of sorts, as most of that code must be rewritten for it to work perfectly.

tldr: i use it for quick patches to my spaghetti code, and that's about it.

Q: Do you use AI to write your work?

A: NO. i would never let my work be tainted by soulless hands.

Q: Do you have other writers?

A: nope! i will accept suggestions, but ultimately, all writing will be done by me and me only.

to clarify, i'm not against the idea of having other writers!! that's fine and valid.

but i feel like (and this may sound silly) i'm the only one who truly understands these characters.

although it may not seem like it right now, these characters have an EXTREME amount of depth to them.

so much so, that i feel like their story is worth sharing.

that's why i always sound so excited when updating!!!!! because it's actually how i feel for these characters.

i hope that one day in the future, i'll be able to show you the true magnitude of the depths.

Q: Why do all the characters have Japanese names?

A: oh, that's a simple one! a lot of the game is inspired by jpop, and the names are just kind of a reference to that.

i'm not intending to misappropriate a culture i am not a part of, i'm just a really big fan of jpop. i put it on whenever i do any work.

and then i do that neurodivergent thing where i imagine an animated music video involving my characters

like, for example:

i've been listening to お気に召すまま by Eve. (Also known by its English title: As You Like It) a lot lately.

i recommend you give this a listen:

from what i can tell, the song is about the complex emotions that the main character experiences when trying to confess to a girl. the hand man represents a part of him he doesn't like, the other versions of himself represent the other sides of his personality, etc. etc.

now THIS COULD BE WRONG. but if it's true, then i feel like this song would really resonate with rikiyo.

he would relate to how the main character's emotions seem to get in the way, because he's going through something similar.

he's scared to tell toshi he loves him for many reasons, one of which being his own emotions.

oops! hope i didn't give too much away there!

anyways thatll be it for tonight

sorry for the lack of progress, i'll try to get some done during this week!

love you all

-Callie

[callunavulgari]

Year In Life | 2023

Or that annual New Year’s meme where I talk about what the year was like to live through. 2023 features: a wedding (!!!), four (??) different trips (including the ridiculous two week long honeymoon in the PNW), and the death of a loved one.

1. What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before? Took a trip to DC to see Joe Hisaishi live! Saw the natural history museum! Visited the PNW and saw: Mt Rainier, the redwoods, the most northwestern point of the US, Seattle, the Hoh rainforest including the Hall of Mosses, Lake Crescent, Forks, Crater Lake, Portland, the remnants of wildfires, a little place called Wild Pear with the best butternut squash soup I've had in my entire life, another little place that I can't remember the name of but had a sherpa stew that will warm my soul until death, and San Francisco! Saw the ghoul boys for Ghost Files Live! Went back to Vegas and saw U2 in the sphere! Planned a wedding! Had a bachelorette weekend! Oh, and yeah, GOT MARRIED!!!!!!!

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? My resolution for 2023 was to be HAPPY. And you know what? I fucking was. Other than the INTENSE anxiety of planning the wedding, 2023 treated me gently. My wedding day was singlehandedly the most blissful day of my entire life. I thought it was going to be a shit show, but goddamn if it wasn't perfect. So YES, I kept my new years resolution. And yes, I will make more for next year.

Resolutions for 2024 - Be happy and healthy. Eat good food. Doordash less, cook more. Exercise. Go on daily walks, even if they're short. Get dressed (almost) every day. Brush your teeth. Write 50k of sad ghost girl (or another original idea). Attend a pottery class. Also, cough, buy a house?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I don't think so? A couple facebook friends. One of my bridesmaids is due next year though.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My grandmother passed this year on the last day of our honeymoon. I got the news on a beach in San Francisco. My dad texted me a time of death. I was fine emotionally for the most part at first, she's had dementia for seven years and I'd said my goodbyes the last time that we visited. I was fine. FINE. And then Nick, thirteen days my husband, twelve years my partner, tentatively asked if I wanted to buy some flowers and toss them in the bay.

I cried. Not hard. But it broke something loose, something that saw the beauty of that place- waves lapping against the shores, the golden gate bridge looming in the distance, two little boys making sandcastles while a guy with a saxophone played for tourists closer to the street. I wanted to scream. As loudly as I could. Just to see if it would make a difference. I didn't. I wept quietly, shielded by my sunglasses, Nick holding my hand next to me and stared out at a bay that she'd never seen before, that she never would.

And then I shook my shoulders out and we went to go meet up for the sunset sail on the bay, which I'd booked since it was our last night. Something special. I didn't want to miss it, not on our last night. It was pretty, but bitterly cold because fog moved in when we neared Alcatraz and just wouldn't quit. The sunset was lovely. I was queasy from the rocking of the sailboat. I couldn't stop thinking about her.

I didn't cry again, not at the funeral, not at the small celebration of life afterwards. It hurts in a different way, I think, mourning the death of someone who has been lost to you for so many years while their body lingers on. I looked back at old facebook posts from when she was still her, when she wrote letters on my wall because she didn't understand how messenger worked. She was the third of four sisters, all gone before her. She used to have so many friends and so few people showed to the funeral. It would have made her sad to see, I think.

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? No countries. We nearly booked our honeymoon to Portugal, but turns out weddings are expensive and I managed to do two weeks in the PNW for half the cost. I will say though that I have wanted to visit the west coast for years, so I am incredibly glad that we went. My favorite of all of the places that we went is a tie between Mt Rainier and Crater Lake. One- the pull of a mountain is legit. I grew up with the Appalachians, but goddamn, it doesn't prepare you for the sight of something Like Mt Rainier. Two- nobody effing told me that Crater Lake was THAT blue. The water, brilliant blue. The sky, brilliant blue. The air, crisp. The rest of it, PACKED with chipmunks. It was amazing. The whole trip was, but damn.

Some highlights-

6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023? My answer to this last year was a husband. And like, CHECKMARK there. For 2024, and I know that this is dreaming big, but we are going to try - TRY - to buy a house this year. We will have to see how that goes.

7. What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 26th 2023. ❤️ 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I married my best friend. And I also survived the wedding planning process, christ. I mean don't get me wrong, the day was great, it was beautiful, wouldn't change it for the world. But sometimes I think that I should have saved myself the stress and eloped somewhere.

9. What was your biggest failure? Eh, I mean I didn't lose the weight that I wanted for the wedding, but I'm not going to hold that against me. I bought a dress that I felt pretty in with the size I was at rather than the one I wanted to be and I do not regret that. I did a lot of weightlifting and I'm strong enough to do squats with Nick on my back, so that's progress enough for now. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? We got covid again coming back from our honeymoon, which was less than ideal. Mask up in the giant metal tubes, friends.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I'm honestly blanking on this right now. We bought a ton of stuff for the wedding, so... that? I got some neat stuff at farmers markets. I treated myself to good headphones and a proper stand for my computer. 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Honestly? Nick's mom. We had a falling out years and years ago and while we've had a steady truce going since about 2016-2017 or so, I always feel like we're on thin ice. She's a bit of a narcissist, she holds grudges, and honestly, I'm pretty sure that she'd despise anyone that Nick or his brother ended up with. She does not like other women.

But. She behaved herself for the wedding. There were a couple small things- she almost made our bartenders cry because they mixed up our drink packages (they fixed it, it wasn't a big deal, we had NA drinks leftover from the rehearsal the night before and they went to get more) and her dress was a pale enough pink that it showed up in all of the pictures as white, but you know what? It's a win. She seemed genuinely happy during the wedding. She didn't start shit or make a fool of herself. It was just nice.

Who knows what the future has in store on this front, but for now? I'm taking it as a win and moving on. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? So, my mother, stepfather, and both of my brothers didn't show up to the wedding. It... wasn't exactly unexpected and when it comes down to it both my sister and I were relieved that my mom wasn't there. If she had been I guarantee the day wouldn't have gone as smoothly as it did.

But I was upset that my brothers couldn't be there. They had legitimate reasons, but it still hurt. So not appalled so much, but definitely sad.

14. Where did most of your money go? Ha. Ha ha ha. Weddings are fucking expensive. We set a budget that would have been completely and totally reasonable if we'd had the wedding prior to 2020. And then we got to actually do the research and realized that our budget was laughably impossible. We had help from Nick's mom and his grandparents, but goddamn, every time I think of how much money was sunk into one day I want to vomit. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The WEDDING. The HONEYMOON. Mt Rainier! Crater Lake! The redwoods! And then, y'know, on a smaller scale: seeing Joe Hisaishi in concert, seeing the Beatles show in Vegas again, getting to do a spooky little autumn drive to see the ghoul boys live. Books. I got a whimsical little tattoo with a flying whale and a castle in the sky.

16. What song will always remind you of 2023? Stand By Me. Paradise Valley. Hello Stranger. Glasgow Love Theme. The Spiritfarer soundtrack. A million Miley Cyrus (?) songs. Eat Your Young. Green Green Grass.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Happier. So much happier. ii. thinner or fatter? Same size, I think? More muscle, but the scale is the same. iii. richer or poorer? Uh, probably either poorer or around the same. We've recovered a bit from the wedding, but it's been rough. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I genuinely do wish that I'd taken better care of myself. My blood pressure has been up, I've been having more heart palpitations, more brain fog, more headaches. And I mean, I did weight lifting, great. But I do genuinely need to eat better. I need to lose weight not because I hate how I look, but because I have sleep apnea and can't tolerate the CPAP, which means that if I don't lose weight or get my tonsils removed my blood pressure will continue to spike until I die. So. Weight loss IS a legitimate goal this year, because it is necessary.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being an anxious mess about the wedding? I mean that's easy to say now that it's in the rearview, but the ABSURD spikes of adrenaline that I would get just from thinking about the day could NOT have been healthy.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? For Christmas Eve, we honestly just kind of lounged around. We watched a movie. Made the most mouthwatering slow-cooked beef tenderloin that I splurged on from the local butcher. Opened our one present and proceeded to not read them OR make hot chocolate.

For Christmas Day, we opened our gifts, opened the cat's gifts, then went and had Christmas at Nick's aunt's house. Other than his cousin getting engaged to someone that the entire family hates, it went well. 21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? We spent it inside. I made a pasta bake while Nick made the pirozki. Unfortunately, I didn't take enough lactaid to counteract the sheer amount of cheese in the pasta so I spent the hours leading up to midnight feeling NOT well, and then we drank sparkling water out of some fancy glasses instead of the wine I bought. 22. Did you fall in love in 2023? Okay, so it sounds trite, but yes? I mean, obviously I've been in love with him since 2012. But I don't know. It's different? I feel more at peace with it. Yes, I love him, but he picked me. We picked each other forever and then swore it in front of all of our favorite people. I didn't expect it to feel much different, and I mean, it's still mostly the same. We sleep in the same bed, we eat the same food, we love the same cats, we kiss each other, we make stupid fart jokes. But it's different. At least a little bit. 23. Best month for you this year? End of August/early September was amazing, mostly because of the trip (and the wedding). <This was my answer last year and the year before, but it still holds true, for obvious reasons.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2022? All right, so, favorites in (mostly) chronological order: Owl House season 3, Lockwood and Co, The Last of Us, Russian Doll season 2, Shadow and Bone season 2, Extraordinary Attorney Woo, Vox Machina season 2, The Diplomat, Queer Eye, Wheel of Time season 2, Interview with the Vampire, Fionna and Cake, The Fall of the House of Usher, Scavengers Reign, Loki season 2, Castlevania: Noctourne, Yu Yu Hakusho live action, One Piece live action, Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Of those, over all my favorite was Loki, hands down. The ENDING was just some of the best cinema I've seen at Marvel in YEARS. The score! UGH, it was perfection. Owl House season 3 was a close second.

Of just 2023, though? Probably Fionna and Cake. We honestly loved it so much. I think I ended up liking it more than I ever did Adventure Time.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No hate! Well, at least no one that I know. At this point every active politician could get struck down by lightning and I would mourn very few of them.

26. What was the best book you read? Ugh, there were so many bangers this year. Honestly probably a tie between Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow and Tress and the Emerald Sea.

Honorable mentions: Starling House, A Power Unbound, A Day of Fallen Night, and Thistlefoot.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Hozier's new album has been a big part of my top 50. Oh, Epic the Musical has been an effing joy!

28. What did you want and got? A husband? Yeah, I'm gonna go with that. A husband. It's still weird to say.

29. What did you want but didn’t get? Ummmmmmmm, it's hard to say a honeymoon in Portugal because I am over the moon and not unappreciative of what we did do. But. I do REALLY wish that I'd gotten to see Portugal.

And on a more somber note, before we realized that my grandma was getting too bad to attend the wedding, I'd planned a dance with her. She always used to sing My Heart Will Go On to me when I was little, and I just, really wanted to have that. Instead, I played it for her the day that I said my goodbyes and showed her a picture of my dress. It was hard, but it was enough.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I rewatched Lord of the Rings approximately a million times this year. Honestly most of the movies I DID watch were rewatches in some way or another. I loved Across the Spiderverse, the new Persuasion movie, and Nimona. Oh, and I watched Suzume in April and the Boy and the Heron for my birthday. All of those were amazing. Absolute top favorite was probably Suzume. Nimona is VERY close though. Same with Across the Spiderverse.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 34 this year! Which is great because I've had this whole weird thing where I was convinced that I would die at 33 since I was around 7 years old, so turning 34 was very nice. I did splurge a bit this year. We went to the Yuletide Village on Friday, which is basically the grounds for the Renaissance Festival done up in Christmas lights. I got to see Krampus! And Mari Lwyd! And drink hot cocoa! And buy a REALLY cool coat.

And then as if all that wasn't enough, on my actual birthday we booked a room at the bed and breakfast that our wedding was held at because they're selling it soon. We had good cheese and wine, got to revisit the pine chapel and dance all alone to our first dance song, then had dinner and walked around a lit up Granville. And then went back to our room at the B&B and did CENSORED things in my wedding dress (look, we were too tired that night and I had a fractured foot, it was a crazy day - leave me alone) and Nick surprised me with a birthday cake from the baker that we got our wedding cake from. It was nice. The breakfast the next morning was amazing.

And then we went to see The Boy and the Heron and had a relaxing Sunday. So you know, not a big deal at all. Definitely a far cry from last year where I, oh yes, covered for a coworker and then had to go to a company party at a restaurant that I hate.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hm. Still Mal. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023? Hahaha, my hybrid job turned into a completely remote job. Which is great in theory, but means that I spent most of 2023 in my pajamas without a bra. When I WASN'T in my pajamas, I tended towards jeans and t-shirts/sweaters. One of our friends got married in July though and I got to wear the COOLEST dress. 34. What kept you sane? Nick, usually. Rigby has been a huge help too. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? It was a good year for Hozier, imo. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? I have had “fuck Donald Trump” as the answer to this question since 2015. And for the first time in half a decade… it’s not him. It’s all the problems he left behind. So I guess it is still at least a LITTLE bit “FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 20156789 2023″

Actual answer to this question though - Gaza. Ukraine. And to a lesser extent- all of the bullshit corporate stooges trying to use AI to replace real workers. Also getting legitimately nervous about next year. Though Ohio DID turn out and voted to: not let the republicans fuck with majority rules, protect abortion rights, and legalized recreational marijuana. So, small wins, I guess.

37. Who did you miss? Mal. My brothers. My grandma. 38. Who was the best new person you met? I met this REALLY cool chick at the place I get my hair done. We bonded over her playing Zelda lofi in the hairwashing room and geeked out over Tears of the Kingdom. She's so freaking cool and I want to be her friend.

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: Other than her... I don't think I made any?

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year: Technically from January 1st 2023 because I'm 90% sure that it was taken after midnight. We went to an INSANE warehouse party to ring in the New Year last year and were out much later than I wanted to be.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year From December 15th - which is apparently just the day that I get my hair done now. Since the wedding is over I finally committed to coloring my hair for the first time since 2020. It was long overdue and am excited to cut it short in the spring, but I actually think this is the first haircut where I miss the long hair?

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Oh my GOD, that sherpa stew. We obviously had a lot of good food on our trip. Piroshky Piroshky was my favorite highlight from Pike's Place and then there was a restaurant in Salem, Oregon that had the BEST butternut squash soup and pulled pork that I have ever had. It was amazing. I would go back to Oregon for this soup alone.

But that sherpa stew. It cups my heart in its soupy little fist.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? Honestly, there were a lot of great moments this year. Obviously the wedding was the highlight, but the rest of it was pretty great too. The night of the Joe Hisaishi concert it stormed as the concert was finishing and since the venue was mostly outdoors, everyone got soaked. It was magical. The honeymoon highlights - the breathtaking awe of Mt Rainier, the beauty of the golden rays of the setting sun in the Hall of Mosses, the SIZE and GRANDNESS of Crater Lake. The drive up to Michigan to see Ghost Files live, how the drive there was this perfect little time capsule of autumn in the midwest, stormclouds on the horizon and corn fields all around us. The day after, when we stopped into Ann Arbor to visit the cherry store that's only in Michigan, how I found the BEST possible boots at a little store. How we found another amazing little independent book store just down the street. The way Nick's mom looked after the Cirque du Soleil Beatles show, where she turned to me and said that it was her best birthday ever. Dancing alone in the pavilion where we had our reception, crooning the song to each other in the dark while the lights from the pine chapel twinkled warmly at us from 20 feet away, beckoning.

And the wedding. Obviously the wedding.

The night before, where we had a private little ceremony at the stroke of midnight, there in the dark, nightsong all around us. Just us, our officiant, his brother, and my sister and her husband. My hair was damp and frizzy from the heat, from the helter skelter of the rehearsal earlier. He was in a t-shirt and slacks that were almost highwaters. But we read our vows to each other, sealed it with a kiss.

August 26th, 12:02am. A secret, just for us. Our siblings sworn to secrecy.

And then the next day, the note that was slipped under our door from our dear friend who officiated the wedding (both public and private), written on a torn bit of notebook paper: "May today be the first chaotic day of joy in a shared life full of chaotic joy." The breakfast: dutch baby with caramelized apples, sausage links, orange juice, earl grey. Watching Annie put together bouquets at the coffee table next to the kitchen. Going to work, putting tables together. Called back to the house, hair and makeup. Granola bars one and two. My girls singing Chapel of Love to me in the bridal suite, the swell of emotion in my heart - these are my people, they love me, they're so happy. First look, Nick's eyes, his smile. So familiar, that first almost wary glint, scared to look, scared he'll mess it up in front of the photographers, the way he smiled when he saw me, wide and real, almost a laugh, then the way it curled, lopsided, a bashful tilt to his mouth as he said my name. A hug. A moment of peace before the storm. A preying mantis on the porch railing, bumblebees buzzing around my skirt. Will I remember them in twenty years? In thirty?

Fast, fast, everything goes so fast afterwards. Separate. First look with dad, with girls, line up for the walk down the aisle, careful of the puddle. Listen for One Summers Day - they didn't get the song right and are playing the orchestral version instead of the piano. Instead of soft and sweet, there's brass in the pines, french horns ushering us to our spots. Wait wait, start walking - wedding party first. My dad is nervous next to me, he keeps fidgeting. Girls and groomsmen gone, glasgow love theme starts. I'm practically dragging my dad down the aisle. Annie warned me that everyone would stand, but it still catches me by surprise. Look up, bouquet tilted just so, don't trip on the roots. I don't even look at our guests, I don't check to see if my side looks lopsided without my family there, my eyes are on him, on Annie. My heart - I feel.

Ceremony goes fast. Seth reads Pablo Neruda. Tanya reads Neil Gaiman. My eyes are wet, I blink the tears back. Handfasting cords tied loosely, begin to get anxious about how I'm going to put the ring on with my hand tied, but Annie's already removing them. I put the ring on the wrong hand, a hot flash of shame gone in seconds, kiss kiss kiss- time for bubbles, walk.

Pictures. So many pictures. Go to bustle dress, granola bar 3. I choke on it. Back to the reception, big entrance. Too queasy to eat much, I picked at the bread, at the salad, at the chicken. Drank a ginger ale, left my martini untouched. Cake cutting, burst of sugar on the tongue, still queasy. Dancing soon - will I get it wrong? First dance- spun me a little too hard, but we laughed. I didn't feel the eyes on us. I fixed his glasses when they slipped down his nose, everyone laughed. Father-daughter dance, was it a mistake? Should have practiced, should have figured out how dads and daughters dance. Swayed. He kept me talking. Kept my mind off my nerves. Looking back on the wedding footage, everyone was crying. Mother-son dance, more tears. The sheer emotional whiplash of going from Baby Mine to Click Click Boom - but it's what his mom wanted, wanted to have the wedding party do the bernie. Cringy, but fine, we'll do it.

Group selfie on the dance floor, first couples dance dedicated to his grandparents - their anniversary was two days previous, so I found out what their song was and had the DJ play it for them. His grandpa cried. His grandma cried. I cried. The photographer cried. Next slow song, it's the song one of our groomsmen got married to - his wife already left, more tears because he's alone at the head table. Pulled away, golden hour photos. A dream. Beautiful. So queasy. Go back to the house to pee, almost vomit into the toilet, nearly black out. More photos. A moment of peace in the pines - they rickrolled everyone without me.

Dancing, how did I dance so much? Photographers leave. They're playing all my favorites now that we're back, too much dancing, need to sit down. Forgot about the bouquet toss, need to do it while I have the energy. So many people have left - make it gender neutral, get people up there. Whoever wants a bouquet. My best friend catches the bouquet. I hurl myself at her and almost take us to the ground. More dancing - where is Nick? Smoking cigars with his brother. More dancing. Someone gives me a martini, but I can only drink a few sips. So tired, my foot hurts, but another two hours to go.

We sing - Bohemian Rhapsody, Take On Me, The Time of My Life. Should we be embarrassed? Too happy. Sit, talk, make the rounds. More dancing.

Winding down. It's time, last two dances. Piano Man, the DJ makes everyone get in a ring around us, it's embarrassing, but god I'm so happy. Last dance, just us. Paradise Valley, crooning quietly to each other in the dark. Tears on my cheeks. On his. A kiss, no one can see, this one is just us.

Goodbyes, see you laters, can't find my phone, someone took it, need to find the phone, need to sit, need to get out of this stupid dress, my foot hurts. Bridesmaids taking charge, have things torn down and presentable in thirty minutes flat. More goodbyes, limp across the field with a groomsmen, still can't find my phone. Find my phone, take off the jewelry, get close to crying. Someone helps me upstairs? Or maybe I did it myself. Realize I can't get the dress off on my own. Think about crying. Foot hurts, why does it hurt so much? Officiant finds me, helps me take off my shoes. Unbuttons my dress for me, leaves it half on so she can figure out what's wrong with my foot. Oh, almost go into shock, oh, it's fractured. Go to the doctor? Honeymoon is in two days. She massages my aching shoulders, my feet. It's embarrassing, but she's an OT, she doesn't want me in pain.

Nick finds us, tired and drooping, but happy. Annie leaves. Sleep now? Yes, sleep. Hurting and more exhausted than we've ever been, but fuck, so happy. Such a good day. We did good.

44. What are you excited for next year? I am incredibly excited to no longer be planning a wedding. May buy a house. May go on a vacation. May quit my job. We'll see.

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023: My valuable life lesson in the year of 2020 was: Life sucks. Keep your head on straight. Mourn your dead and love your living like you’ll never see them again. Live life like you could die tomorrow. And don’t take the little things for granted.

And you know what, I’m going to keep that. I think it’s a good reminder.

46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: puff out your chest, take a deep breath you're gonna be okay if it's loud in your mind, just take your time you're gonna be okay - You're Gonna Be Okay, Ashh Blackwood

2018 me apparently quoted Singing in the Rain. 2019 quoted something sad and pretentious. 2020 me quoted This Year, because she was a dramatic bitch and hurting. 2021 me quoted an assurance that I wasn’t broken. 2022 me was tired and sad and just wanted to feel human again.

2023 me was a weird mess of anxiety, but mostly happy. The anxiety was a bitch, will always be a bitch. But this song kept me going.

[oodlyenough]

the last of us 1x06: kin

surprisingly don't think i have a ton to say about this ep of the last of us but i feel like i should continue posting for posterity at this point lol. (eta: i said that, then started writing my thoughts, and wrote a gazillion words anyway.)

side note: any canadians watching on crave? isn't it fucking terrible. trash service

anyway: 1x06!

continuing to enjoy joel and ellie a lot. the further we get into the show i think the more they've come into the roles and evolved into their own versions of the characters, which is fine. good even. i think bella ramsey and pedro pascal have very fun chemistry together, and i think bella carries the comedy beats really well, which means i've been enjoying seeing more and more of those. i also really like those scenes because they feel familiar without being complete retreads of the game dialogue (which inherently invites me to make comparisons on delivery, etc)

so this joel is much more openly vulnerable. i think this change works to go with what we've seen in the show so far and places where the show is presumably going. and, i'll be honest, i find show joel a much more likable character. 🤷🏼‍♀️

the "not my daughter" scene hit differently... tbh i think it hit less, but not really through any fault of the show's, if that makes sense. it's just one where beat by beat i know the words as delivered by troy and ashley and my brain is super imposing them

loved the opening with the Indigenous couple, they were so funny, and the idea of florence seeing joel puffed up like an angry bird and identifying zero threat and making him soup lmfaoooooo hkghlkg. honestly w game joel i don't think that would work, lol, but w show joel it did. such a funny way to use the map easter egg, and the "there are firefly people?" followed by the couple laughing at their own joke killed me lol

also loved ellie's indignation about how they probably don't know anything because they're "a thousand" and they don't even know the fireflies, who are probably a total nonentity outside select QZs. extreme kid energy. they haven't even HEARD of paw patrol can you believe it. what do they know. also, congrats to them escaping joel and ellie mostly unscathed... minus a rabbit. (rude, ellie.)

show maria was great idc. imo game maria is not much of a character, so the show had plenty of room to expand, and i liked how they did it. i see some people reacting badly to her skepticism of joel and forgiveness of tommy, but we also don't really know what exactly she's been told by tommy. maria being pregnant is also a more solid reason for why tommy can't take ellie than we got in the game.

i can't really evaluate tommy or maria as characters without factoring in part 2 and at this point there's enough difference that who knows where the show will go with tommy and maria in s2, so, it's all kinda fair game imo

the university scene felt a bit rushed but i guess there really isn't that much to do there when you're not rearranging dumpsters and killing infected. it was the first time the show felt notably rushed to me, and i suspect that feeling will get worse in the back third of the show. ah well.

joel's injury and the fight felt anticlimatic compared to the big action set piece of the game, BUT i think it worked much better in context (joel's explicit fears in this ep becoming manifest), and also, game joel's injury is sooooooooooo ludicrous and video game it just wouldn't work on tv lmao. i kind of wish we'd seen ellie land any of her shots on those guys, but i have my theories as to why we didn't. tbd

misc other thoughts:

diva cup scene... excellent. was worried about those musty tampons.

SALLY FUCKIN' RIDE lmaoooooo ellie. u lesbian. ilu

like everyone i was beyonce.gif DINA?!?!?!? in the cafeteria scene. 100% that was dina, there's no way it wasn't. it might not be the final cast actress (i can see them not wanting to cast a major role so far in advance for a cameo, and they have a time skip to justify any appearance changes), but as a character that was surely meant to be dina. ellie that's ur WOMAN

we're 10000% getting some other cameos in the finale. i'm ready 👀👀👀👀👀

lastly: can't wait for this weekend's episode. the one i've most anticipated. left behind DLC my beloved...

[ezamevolni]

Traces: Magic wedding leaf

aka the perilla leaf fight

I've having too much fun making Traces posts :D There's a dozen drafts lined up now because Jinkook is always on record and there are so many pieces to the same puzzles. I especially love the continuity over days, weeks, months and even years. I still remember last year when I declared wanting to write and analyze Jinkook but it's actually impossible to do so because everything is in their content already. There's not much room left for inferences. Maybe I'll still work on that one post about the history of shipping since these days, it looks like most shippers are at most 2-3 years into the fandom. There are some things you just have to be there realtime to know what it was like :/

Who knew this quarrel could have such a long continuity?

I'm cackling every time I think of Jk's pout during the debate, and even more now that they've shown the Busan concert episode.

But seriously Bighit, we get ok. Stop exposing them.

The videos were released out of order so they've been arranged by sequence of actual filming.

The origin of the discourse:

BTS MBTI Lab (filmed early Mar 2022) starts at 20:54

This debate is so hot in the fandom there shouldn't be a single person left who doesn't know about it. The controversy level is even higher than the [mint choco ice cream] debate.

The question is: are you ok with your partner peeling a perilla leaf for a friend?

The reason why it's a debate is because perilla leaves are notoriously hard to peel apart, very thin and tend to stick together as layers. It could be considered an intimate gesture peeling the leaf for someone.

Jk's stance: absolutely no. What if they end up getting married? Also, no peeling shrimp either.

Jin's stance: married??? There's nothing wrong with helping out a friend. I'll peel shrimp, cut fish if it benefits the mass.

It's also hilarious that Jk had clear distinctions. He stated that scooping noodles or soup is fine. So when Jin indignantly asked, "Why? Why not the perilla leaf?" Jk finally burst out that peeling a perilla leaf can lead to hand holding, then eye contact, then marriage.

Watch the clip for the audio to understand how heated (loud) the argument got. And it's pretty clear Jk and Jin were arguing as two different parties in the same relationship...Jk the one watching and Jin the one peeling for their imaginary friend.

And for people who still believe the members haven't dated since debut or aren't in ongoing relationships, maybe take note of the few who had strong opinions during the debate (esp. the ones who insisted 'they didn't care').

The aftermath:

Festa dinner 2022 (filmed 5.20.22)

Ignore the important message of this festa and just focus on their petty conversation and dinner table manners.

The following gifs are almost the same time stamp, just cropped slightly differently to focus on different players and how they eat king crab.

First up Suga

Next up Jin and Jk

Jin was saying in a light mocking way, "Awoo Jungkook-shi can't even do this." and Jk laughed cutely.

So the MBTI lab video was released a week before this filming, and Jin likely watched it because he brought it up after offering to peel king crab for the members.

Jin: "I think we can just use one set of hands to do the work"

(Nods in agreement.)

BTW I rewatched the first part of the video (armys know why) and saw how these two naturally ate off each other's plates, helped to cut/reach for food etc. For example, Jin nudged JK to get the plate of noodles, were out of frame when picking up the noodles but once done, the noodles were on Jk's plate instead of Jin's and Jin was constantly eating off Jk's plate afterwards. Domestic, cute.

The happy ending:

Busan Expo rehearsal day (10.14.22)

This almost seems like it was shown on purpose. (BH I see you) They didn't have to expose Jinkook like that.

On rehearsal day 2, Jinkook sat down to eat together and Jin picked up a sesame leaf for Jk.

I'm curious who brought over the plate of perilla leaves because that wasn't there when Jin was eating nor when Jk sat down with the two bowls in front of him.

Overall, amicableness and good vibes all around.

Also perilla leaf goes surprisingly well with cream-based pasta. I had a period when I was obsessed with the combo.

The epilogue:

Run BTS Next Top Genius (filmed early Nov 2022)

V and Jk weren't eating the pizza because they were on a diet and to tease V, Jin handed him the pizza crust which he normally doesn't eat.

Then,

Sincerely, thank you Jimin bringing that topic up again.

But notice how Jin and Jk were about to start bickering again because of opposite views, RM, Suga and Jimin stepped in before it could get heated? Subsequently, Jimin remembered the perilla leaf debate from months ago, and blurted out his question.

Look at Jin: eyes down, mouth closed, concentrating on his pickle as if he wasn't at the heart of the debate last season.

This happened after the Busan concert and notice neither of the two protagonists volunteered new information on their truce? Instead of pretending like the topic didn't concern him, Jin could've easily chimed in, "I only peel perilla leaves for Jk now."

Because it's true.