#hav i lost all my followers yet

[physalian]

“How do I know if my story needs work or if I’m just being hard on myself?”

As I sit here accepting the fact that at 70k words into Eternal Night’s sequel while waiting for my editor for Eternal Night itself, that I have made an error in my plot.

Disclaimer: This is not universal and the writing experience is incredibly diverse. Figuring this out also takes some time and building up your self-confidence as an author so you can learn to separate “this is awful (when it’s not)” and “this is ok (but it can be better)” and “this isn’t working (but it is salvageable).”

—

When I wrote my first novel (unpublished, sadly), years ago, I would receive feedback all over the chapters and physically have to open other windows to block off parts of the screen on my laptop to slow-drip the feedback because I couldn’t handle constructive criticism all at once. I had my betas color-code their commentary so I could see before I read any of it that it wasn’t all negative. It took me thrice as long as it does today to get through a beta’s feedback because I got so nervous and anxious about what they would say.

The main thing I learned was this: They’re usually right, when it’s not just being mean (and even then, it’s rarely flat out mean), and that whatever criticisms they have of my characters and plot choices is not criticism of myself.

It did take time.

But now I can get feedback from betas and even when I hear “I’d DNF this shit right now unless you delete this,” I take a step back, examine if this one little detail is really that important, and fix it. No emotional turmoil and panic attack needed. I can also hear “I didn’t like it” without heartbreak. Can’t please everyone.

The only time I freak out is when I'm told "this won't need massive edits" followed up by, in the manuscript, "I'd DNF this shit right now". Which happened. And did not, in fact, require a massive rewrite to fix.

So.

What might be some issues with your story and why it “isn’t working”.

1. Your protagonist is not active enough in the story

You’ve picked your protagonist, but it’s every other character that has more to do, more to say, more choices to make, and they’re just along for the ride, yet you are now anchored to this character’s story because they’re the protagonist. You can either swap focus characters, or rework your story to give them more agency. Figure out why this character, above any other, is your hero.

2. Your pacing is too slow

Even if you have a “lazy river” style story where the vibes and marinating in the world is more important than a breakneck plot, slow pacing isn’t just “how fast the story moves” it’s “how clearly is the story told,” meaning if you divert the story to a side quest, or spend too long on something that sure is fluffy or romantic or funny, but it adds nothing to the characters because it’s redundant, doesn’t advance the plot, doesn’t give us more about the world that actually matters to the themes, then you may have lost focus of the story and should consider deleting it, or editing important elements into the scenes so they can pull double-duty and serve a more active purpose.

3. You’ve lost the main argument of your narrative

Sometimes even the best of outlines and the clearest plans derail. Characters don’t cooperate and while we see where it goes, we end up getting hung up on how this one really cool scene or argument or one-liner just has to be in the story, without realizing that doing so sacrifices what you set out to accomplish. Personally I think sticking to your outline with biblical determination doesn’t allow for new ideas during the writing process, but if you find yourself down the line of “how did we get here, this isn’t what I wanted” you can always save the scenes in another document to reuse later, in this WIP or another in the future.

4. You’re spending too long on one element

Even if the thing started out really cool, whether it’s a rich fantasy pit stop for your characters or a conversation two characters must have, sometimes scenes and ideas extend long past their prime. You might have characters stuck in one location for 2 or 3 chapters longer than necessary trying to make it perfect or stuff in all these details or make it overcomplicated, when the rest of the story sits impatiently on the sidelines for them to move on. Figure out the most important reasons for this element to exist, take a step back, and whittle away until the fat is cut.

5. You’ve given a side character too much screentime

New characters are fun and exciting! But they can take over the story when they’re not meant to, robbing agency from your core characters to leave them sitting with nothing to do while the new guy handles everything. You might end up having to drag your core characters along behind them, tossing them lines of dialogue and side tasks to do because you ran out of plot to delegate with one character hogging it all (which is the issue I ran into with the above mentioned WIP). Not talking about a new villain or a new love interest, I mean a supporting character who is supposed to support the main characters.

—

As for figuring out the difference between “this is awful and I’m a bad writer” and “this element isn’t working” try pretending the book was written by somebody else and you’re giving them constructive criticism.

If you can come up with a reason for why it’s not working that doesn’t insult the writer, it’s probably the latter. As in, “This element isn’t working… because it’s gone on too long and the conversation has become cyclical and tiring.” Not “this element isn’t working because it’s bad.”

Why is it bad?

“This conversation is awkward because…. There’s not enough movement between characters and the dialogue is really stiff.”

“This fight scene is bad because….I don’t have enough dynamic action, enough juicy verbs, or full use of the stage I’ve set.”

“This romantic scene is bad because…. It’s taking place at the wrong time in the story. I want to keep it, but this character isn’t ready for it yet, and the vibe is all wrong now because they’re out-of-character.”

“This argument is bad because…. It didn’t have proper build-up and the sudden shouting match is not reflective of their characters. They’re too angry, and it got out of hand quickly. Or I’m not conveying the root of their aggression.”

—

There aren’t very many bad ideas, just bad execution. “Only rational people can think they’re crazy. Crazy people think they’re sane,” applies to writing, too.

I just read a fanfic recently where, for every fight scene, I could tell action was not the writer’s strong suit. They leaned really heavily on a crutch of specific injuries for their characters, the same unusual spot getting hit over and over again, and fights that dragged on for too long being unintentionally stagnant. The rest of the fic was great, though, and while the fights weren’t the best, I understood that the author was trying, and I kept reading for the good stuff. One day they will be better.

In my experience beta reading, it’s the cocky authors who send me an unedited manuscript and tell me to be kind (because they can’t take criticism), that they know it’s perfect they just want an outside opinion (they don’t want the truth, they want what will make them feel good), that they know it’s going to make them a lot of money and everyone will love it (they haven’t dedicated proper time and effort into researching marketing, target audiences, or current trends)—these are the truly bad authors. Not just bad at writing, but bad at taking feedback, are bullies when you point out flaws in their story, and cheap, too.

The best story I have received to date was where the author didn’t preempt with a self-deprecating deluge of “it’s probably terrible you know but here it is anyway” or “this is perfect and I’m super confident you’re going to love it”.

It was something like, “This is my first book and I know it has flaws and I’m nervous but I had a lot of fun doing it”.

And yeah, it needed work, but the bones of something great were there. So give yourself some credit, yeah?

[imaginesheaven]

Bar Owner!Reader x TF 141 - Part III

Like my follower requested: Finally the final part of the Bar Owner!Reader series. I hope you all like it. It was so fun to create it all for you. I listened to the 5 centimeters per second original sountrack the whole time writing this. I've got happy tears in my eyes :)

Warnings: Curse words (like always)

Captain John Price

John knows already for years that he is deeply in love with you yet he didn’t want to accept it. From day to day it gets harder to push the realization into the back of his mind. If you would feel the same you would have said something already. He assumes you are not looking for a relationship. Probably especially not with someone who is always away on missions. Someone who is always in danger to die very soon. Someone like John.

He takes another sip from his whiskey watching you how you serve your customers. It’s a warm evening and you all hang out in the garden behind your bar. You look so incredibly happy talking with everybody while Cougar trails after you like a lost puppy. Your joy radiates like a ray of sunshine. Behind you the sun is setting on the hills coloring you in a deep orange. It makes you even more breathtaking than you already are.

“I think you should tell (Y/N) what you feel”, Kate next to him says nonchalantly like she would talk about the amazing weather. “Am I that easy to look through?”, Price thought no one would know about his little secret. His ever-growing love for you.

“John, humor me for a second. I noticed how you look at (Y/N) when you think no one can see you. Don’t you think you let (Y/N) waiting long enough?”, Kate gives him an overly confident smile. “What do you know, Laswell?”, John tries not to sound too excited. His heart keeps hammering against his chest. Racing to catch up to you.

“I don’t want to give away too much, but if (Y/N) would have died the bar and Cougar would have been yours. Is that enough for you?”, Laswell lets him on your very own little secret. John stares at her in disbelief. The bar is everything you have ever loved in your life. Just like Cougar. You trust him so deeply knowing he would keep both safe and sound.

Price stands up from his chair making his way over to you. “Hey, John!”, your whole face lights up as you see him coming closer. He loves how you say his name. Your voice so full of kindness and love. It makes his knees weak.

He can’t stop himself anymore as he cups your face softly in his big hands. Surprised you look at him with a slight blush on your cheeks. “You have no idea how much I love you”, not waiting for your reaction John presses a soft kiss onto your lips.

Shocked you let go of the drinks, which splatter onto the grass. Doubts creep in John’s mind breaking away from you, but you stop them immediately as you wrap your arms around him pulling him into another kiss. “What took you so damn long?”, you lean your forehead against his.

Everyone starts to cheer loudly. Especially Kate. She is over the moon to see you happy once again. It brings the two of you back into reality. “I’m sorry for making you wait, love.”

It took John years to confess his love to you, but he makes sure to catch up all the things you two have missed. John tries literally everything to make all your dreams come true. Sometimes he forgets that he is the only thing you ever wanted in life.

He is so very thankful for the joy you bring him every single day he can be with you. You were all along his reason to come back safely from missions, but now John is allowed to drown in your love openly. You are his one and only. The ray of sunshine he needs to forget all the pain and misery he has been put through.

Even if you love to make fun of the fact he waited for years not realizing you feel the same all the time. John takes it with pride, “The best things in life take time, love.” Naming drinks that take longer to prepare after him.

Bonus

(Y/N): So, you set John up to confess finally?

Kate: Yes, it worked, right? But I might have lied to him about something…

(Y/N):  Kate… What did you say?

Kate: … I might have told him that you would give him your bar and Cougar if you would have died.

(Y/N): … Well, that’s not that much of a lie. I totally would have, but I’m not that easy to kill.

Kate: Oh, come on. Don’t act like a superhero.

(Y/N): … I took out half of the Russian military, Kate. I am a fucking superhero.

Kate: … *rolls her eyes* Damn it. That’s true.

Soap: *witnessing everything* HALF OF THE RUSSIAN MILITARY?!?

Simon “Ghost” Riley

Simon keeps his love for you hidden away with the rest of his emotions. Everyone knows he has a soft spot for you, but not how much his heart yearns for you. He wants to share his life with you. He wants you to know the real Simon. The one behind the mask. He wants you to see how vulnerable he can be, because he knows you would never hurt him.

“Fucking hell”, Ghost mumbles under his breath slowly overwhelmed by his feelings and thoughts. “Hey, boys. Another round?”, you stand by the table giving everyone your best smile. Simon can’t believe how much he loves you. It almost physically hurts.

Without a word he stands up to leave the bar. The fresh air calms his racing mind, but he doesn’t even try to untangle those confusing thoughts. Every single one of them revolves around you like they always do. How long can he uphold this façade?

“Hey, you okay?”, you followed him outside pointing towards the garden chairs, “Wanna take a seat?” It’s actually too cold to sit outside yet he accepts your offer thankfully. In silence the two of you sit together. You look at the sky seeing a ton of stars this night. Ghost looks at you wondering which god has sent you his way. You don’t try to start an uncomfortable conversation. Not even once you forced him to talk to you. He’s incredibly grateful for the way you deal with his peculiarities.

“Sometimes when I get overwhelmed by my thoughts I look at the stars. I try to remember all the constellations I learned over the years. It took me years to learn that it’s actually okay not to be okay and w-“, you don’t mind holding an one-sided conversation. Simon could listen to your voice all day long yet he interrupts you, “I love you.”

Simon can’t look at you after his rather blunt confession scared to see rejection in your eyes. You take his hand in yours softly to get his full attention, “I love you too, Simon.” There is only admiration and kindness in your eyes. His heart swells with happiness.

You know it wouldn’t be easy to love Simon yet you still did it with all you had. First things first, this man has to learn to trust again. Opening up himself. He lived so long behind a mask not sure how to be a functioning human being anymore. You are always there for Simon giving him exactly what he needs. Patience, love, honesty, safety.

This man would literally die for you in an instant.

You adjust to keeping your relationship under the radar for a while. Not even his team knows about the two of you. Except for Price. He knew right away after Simon confessed his love to you during that night.

One evening in the bar Simon decides it is time to make it official. Johnny likes to flirt with you in a platonic way. “Amazing drinks as always, sweetheart”, Soap winks at you grinning like the childish boy he still is.

“That’s my partner you are flirting with, Johnny”, Simon wraps his arm around your middle as you stand next to him by the table. A few seconds no one dares to say a word. Price leans back impressed by Ghost’s openness, “Pay up, Gaz.” Kyle rolls his eyes as he hands over the money.

“You did not bet on us?!”, you throw your rag laughing at Price. He raises his hands in surrender, “Sorry, it was clear as the day. Had to take the chance to win a fine bet.” Gaz shrugs one shoulder, “I thought you two would be just friends.”

Soap stares at all of you clearly confused, “Am I the only one who did not about this at all?” Smiling you push his shoulder playfully, “Your head is always up in the clouds to notice the small things.” Cougar pushes his way forward to put his head on Ghost’s leg begging for head scratches.

“Oh, that’s why Cougar likes you more now!”, Soap puts the puzzle pieces together way later than everyone else. Simon can’t explain in words how happy he is in this moment. He finally found his very own little family.

Bonus

Soap: So… (Y/N), did you see Simon without his mask?

(Y/N): … No, not yet and that’s totally fine.

Soap: You didn’t kiss yet?! Simon! What are you waiting for?

Ghost: Fucking hell, Johnny! None of your business!

(Y/N): Don’t be so harsh, Simon. Johnny doesn’t know how to woe his partner.

Ghost: … *tries not to snicker*

Soap: That’s right! I don’t know … wait, what? HEY!

Ghost: *proud of you* (Y/N), I love you so much~

John “Soap” MacTavish

Let’s be honest, everyone would know right away that this man is so in love with you. Soap is not someone who can keep things like this a secret. As soon as he lays his eyes on you his whole face lights up and nothing can bring him ever down.

“Fucking hell, Johnny, tell (Y/N) what you feel or I do it. I can’t stand you drooling over the whole table anymore”, Ghost doesn’t mean it literally, but Soap’s puppy eyes and lovesick grin the whole evening make him gag eventually.

Soap would love to tell you what he feels, but is just way too scared to lose you. “Just rip it off like a band-aid”, Gaz isn’t really the right one to give out flirt tips yet he does it anyways. Gaz and Ghost would team up against Soap; teasing him non-stop to push him to his limits so he would finally confess his undying love for you. “Boys, please, leave the poor lovesick baby alone”, Price smiles into his whiskey knowing exactly what he’s doing.

Soap stands up from his chair without a further word making his way towards the good old jukebox. He choses the first song he played over and over again to annoy you. It’s also actually the song that reminds him off you. When Soap is away from you he is always listening to this song.

You can’t help yourself from yelling out an amused “Johnny!” as you make your way towards him. A slight smile appears on his lips as he falls over and over in love with you once again. It is the first time you ever called him Johnny and it’s the most beautiful sound he has ever heard.

He grabs your hands in his to overplay how hard they are actually shaking. The nervousness is eating at him, “Just listen for a second. I really need to get this off of my chest … Then you can yell at me or whatever.”

“The first time I ever saw you has burned into my mind, because it was the best moment in my whole life. You are a ray of sunshine. Every time I’m with you I experience so much happiness and joy like I could hug the entire world. If I could I would drown in this feeling for the rest of my life… Not that I’m proposing… I mean if you want me to I-I … Oh shit…”

Everything started out so good for him, then he starts to stumble upon his own words. Still Johnny keeps pouring his heart into his one-sided speech, “I really like you, (Y/N). I’m not the best catch out there I know but I pro-…”

You cut his rambling off with a brief but meaningful kiss. “You talk way too much sometimes, Johnny”, you wink at him grinning and the whole bar interrupts your moment with cheering. Cougar makes him way in between the two of you to share some of the love.  

This man worships the ground you walk on and would do everything for you. Sometimes Soap is a bit childish, but it doesn’t bother you at all. It reminds you to enjoy the life how it is and don’t worry too much. He still loves to get on your nerves with doing stupid shit. Here and there Soap even teams up with Gaz to make it double trouble.

“Sweetie, you love me, right?” – “You are god damn lucky you are cute, Johnny…”

Johnny is literally moving in with you after the two of you start dating. You can’t convince me otherwise. Being always by your side is his way of love language. Of course, you are not mad about having him around you all the time.

But the most important thing is that you bring Johnny peace and happiness. For the first time in forever he learns what being in love with someone really means. Having a reason to come back in one piece from missions. Johnny loves wrapping you up in his arms for sure being the happiest man on earth.

“I love you so damn much, (Y/N).” – “I love you too, Johnny.”

Bonus

Can’t forget about the most important fact of your relationship. Sharing your lovely Scottish man with your dog…

Johnny: Don’t look at me like that. I love you so much, Cougar. You are my number one.

You: … Do you want some alone time with my dog, Johnny?”

Johnny: No, no, you can stay if you want :)

You: … -.-

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Gaz is quite decent hiding his growing feelings for you behind his poker face. No one knows how much it costs him to keep up his coolness. He lost completely control over his own body. You entering the room is enough for him to turn into a blushing mess How is he supposed to tell you what he feels without making a fool out of himself?

Silently sighing Gaz downs his drink in one single sip. He hates how easy everyone seems to interact with you. Soap always makes you laugh with his jokes, while he can’t even make a conversation without starting to ramble or stutter.

Gaz only wants to let you know how much you mean to him. That you make his life so much better. You are literally perfection and out of his league. Why does he even bother to try? His desperation reaches another level.

Only alcohol can help him now. He downs another drink earning a concerned glance from Price, “You okay?” With a slight smile on his lips Gaz stands up, “Never have been better, Cap.” John just witnessed him downing two handful of drinks within an hour. He is clearly not okay, but maybe Gaz reached finally the level where he will confess his love to you. Price will keep an eye on him from afar.

“Hey there”, you greet Gaz with a smile that lights his whole world up. He hops onto the bar stool almost falling over with the whole thing trying to be cool. “Are you drunk?”, you have never seen him like that before ever again. Gaz usually knows his limits.

“No, not drunk. Only a bit tipsy”, an overly confident grin is plastered on his face. Knowing what an effect you have on him you lean forward pulling him closer towards you by his shirt collar, “Then proof it.” His eyes widen full of panic for a second, while his heart skips a beat just to double up the speed afterwards.

“If I would be drunk I would tell you how perfect you are. I would tell you how much love I have in my heart for you. There is a space in there that is shaped exactly like you. Being near you makes me so damn happy I have never been before. I could drown in your lovely eyes. This must be true love…. But I’m not drunk so therefore I’m not telling you all of this.”

His truthful words leave you shocked. A slight blush appears on your cheeks.

“Well, you just said it out loud, buddy”, Soap just stands a few centimeters away from the two of you witnessing everything. Realization hits Gaz like a baseball bat in his face. His drunk ass just confessed not knowing he spoke all of his thoughts out loud?!

“Soap!”, you throw your rag at him. Without a further word Gaz stands up bailing out completely sober now and makes his way out of the bar. “Oh no, for sure not!”, Price grabs him by his shoulders and guides Gaz back to the counter, where you are still standing.

“Don’t you dare to run away from me ever again”, you grab his chin to place a kiss onto his lips. Soap giggles in the background, Ghost makes fake gag sounds and Price just rolls his eyes, “Get a room, kids.”

Gaz still can’t believe his luck even after weeks of dating. You are the only good thing in his life and he would give everything to make you happy. Which means he lives his romantic side to its fullest. Planning out dates like almost every week. Burying you under a wave of presents he thinks you might like. Writing you pages and pages of meaningful words hoping you can understand what you mean to him.

But as soon as his ass is planted in the bar he turns into a literal child. Bickering with Soap about the jukebox. Making bets with him who can annoy you the worst. Sneaking drinks behind your back and so on. He even teams up with Soap AND Cougar singing songs from the jukebox. Well, Cougar only barks away happily having a blast with Gaz by his side.

“You are all grounded for the rest of the week!” – “No, baby! I love you! You know that, right? RIGHT?! BABY!”

Bonus

Gaz: … Thank you, Captain, for giving me the push I needed.

Price: You are welcome, kid… but please stay away from the alcohol.

Soap: … What about me? I helped too!

Gaz: You made everything worse!

Soap: I did not! You wanted to run away!

Gaz and Soap: *start pushing each other*

Price: Boys, behave.

(Y/N): … I love all of you, but bloody hell what did I get myself into?

Tagging @apathetickun @missroro @abbiesxox @flyingmushroomss

[gazeofseer]

🩵 Wⁱⁿᵗᵉʳ Sᵒˡᵃᶜᵉ ❄️

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

'Life has been quite weary, and I had so much to share the shed of my spirit, but not has a flush of storm but more like a divine solstice trance between the seasons, the sun during winter warm yet deeply cold and engaging with from my bones, wish someone heard me, rather than saying anything to me, if not all these things what can I feel is a lie? Or Life itself?'

°°°°♡°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°°°°°

Pick a Pile of guidance for your soul (;

°°°°♡°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°°°°°

Image.1

'Confusion is the only clarity, I have right now all the people around me feels perfectly fine and fit to whatever they get and give, while I am still at a thought why would somebody do that to me? What did I lack exactly to be ostracized by the living society? Why can't have emotions, why, and exactly why..?

The rage seems quite resilience but that does not mean you are not burning within, like the depth of the blue flames underneath the ocean you exist in this world with your utmost compassion, when one fails as a human they fail to be anything further, but who defined that part? Too many questions is juggling all the answers you have received so far but deep down you know what is yours and what is not.

Still letting go all at a pace seems like a game of pull and push where you may fumble off everything from your hands.

But isn't that beautiful to realise what you were holding was an mere idea and not an entire reality to that?

Be it people, be it a thing, its limitation is end to what they can reap here with you on this surface so let things be, is how you let go, let happiness be happy, let sorrow sorrow itself, sink with this reality where truth prevails, even beyond the thickest curtains that has been shed and covered.

Winter Season Guidance & Blessings );

- Aquarius, Gemini and Saggitarus in big three you may feel all your life so far has been somewhat gloomy or questionable of which you have no answer to this following season you will have a major breakdown which will begin. Pilling up as small conflicts, chaos and confrontation throughout the November.

- One thing you have to do is break your ego, you have this subtle of it where you do not show off but keep it as a fake guard so merely people don't bother you but it has been blocked your sense of living entirely where every choice you make seems wrong and regretful and every other action becomes a repent.

- Blessings, that follow through is protection timely guidance on your journey as long you are on a receiving edge then on a push away where you will suddenly realise even if you feel horrible within yourself people are there who are kind, loving and will reflect exactly what you are meant to feel within.

Signs : You are on your own kid by Taylor Swift, ring lover, six fingers, mole on feet or behind neck. Ground, Shed and drive through the chaos towards peace.

Image.2

'Enduring life as if it's a badge that I have to carry and show so that don't bring the worst at my table so never left the idea of being the best in the room even if I was clumsy I slammed disciplines out of passive aggression which failed my scores to repeat the same mistakes, again and again nobody is a problem but I am, at least that's how I feel.. because I don't care about what others think..but do they even think that I exist too? That never being the one or the last hurts like the middle child who neither belongs to dad or not to the mother? Like a lost and found thought I carry myself like a baggage full of grief barely smiling at lies anymore choosing to cry over the truth as better as I feel'

You have a special message from your soul ancestors, who could be you or from your tribe ;

- It's not your first time here you have 8 as prominent number and Saturn's 8 influence you may be attracted towards infinity sign if not all these you find these strange connection with things but that may not resonate like you have not much with moon but there is something keeps your drawn towards it.

- Your ancestors by soul are people who are waiting for you as an reward after you complete certain set of karmic cycles and journey throughout the age of 23 to 25 of you have passed then these are the years, you may even heard death or something illness or fatigue around you.

- The place you work/study at seems toxic enough to bloat or drain your energy you are being asked to wear some solid protection crystal or evil eye or carry some iron nails or tie a black knot thread on neck or wrist.

- They are here to assure your present self that you may feel what's the point of living tomorrow if all I have to do is die today, what if I not only survive the bests within me and reach my success as somebody in a worst state keeps you worried but take this as a release then stroke attested nothing is final unless you decide it is.

Signs : Mess it up by Gracie Abrams, Capricorn, Venus earth sign, saturn rings, introvert, queer, cynical and thinking throughout the sleep.

Image.3

'Wish, world was a kind place so that violence would have not been the way to attain, chaos would have not reaped peace, and sorrows would have not be awarded with the happiness, the constant sell and buy has consumed my heart enough to think where did I wet less by to be who am I ? What if I love myself? And still not chosen to give? Would I be mean judged and hated for? Can't I choose myself for one fucking time? Oh that foulness in my soul speaks so does this make me impure? Why can't I just live

Your soulmate has a say (;

- You had quite relations based on intent of compassion and comfort so whenever there was change it went a bit into the hands of confusion, enclosures and uncomfortable for you where you stood for the sick unless you become one and they all left one by one.

- You kept losing people because they were your soulmates reflecting you on different level even if they were opposite on the surface.

- You attract elderly people, be it a woman, men you have this demure and mature gaze that pulls people with intellect finding you adorable but it turns them off when you get pissed off and a cute mess which can't be controlled.

- Your soulmate assures you to carry on this journey you are on the right path, growing greys recently in your hair? Something about white, off whites and lighter greys are sign also the cardigan.

- Stop, finding a end to your love let it expand with you wherever you go, is how you will meet me.

Signs : Daydreaming, Lucky Girl, Pearls, Water Signs, Air signs, Stars, Night Lovers, His name starts from E, W, A and S. He is a random person who will enter by or during Christmas by this or next year's, avoid any red or yellow color his favourite colour is white.

.

Hope this reading reached the parts it was meant to !! ❄️🩵

[joe-spookyy]

asks you about american werewolf in london

hoooly shit it’s finally happened. someone asked me The question. thanks anon.

i am now going to try and sell you all on this movie cause i can’t recommend it enough and i think everyone should watch it. so: let me tell you a thing or two about hit 1981 horror comedy an american werewolf in london!!! and this is off the top of my head so if any of it is slightly off numbers wise im sorry. if you like 80s horror, men, queercoding, re-animator, the thing, jaws, saw, the lost boys, or just werewolves in general. hear me out on this one. link included to watch.

The Premise:

fresh off the heels of his cocaine fueled jazz musical masterpiece The Blues Brothers (1980), director john landis decided he was going to cook up the greatest film ever made. and he did. he was actually gonna have john belushi (jake blues) and dan akyroyd (elwood blues and yes the ghostbuster) play the two main characters, david kessler and jack goodman. now, who are these fellas? well i’m so glad you asked. david (played by david naughton) and jack (played by griffin dunne) are two dear pals from new york on a cute little backpacking trip across europe. david's the tall one. he's silly and gleeful to be out and about. jack is the short one. he's very much not gleeful about the fact that they're on the rainy moors and wishes they were in rome. together they find their way to a cute little pub and go inside, looking for hot drinks. the locals do not love this. they also do not love when jack asks them why there's a five pointed star on the wall (since lon chaney and universal studios assert that that's the mark of the wolfman!) it gets awkward. so they leave, with nothing but the warning to stay off the moors, stick to the roads, and beware of the moon. obviously, they do not follow this. wouldn't make for a very interesting movie if they did. and, as i'm sure you've assumed, they encounter a werewolf, leaving jack like this (dead):

and david, who survived the attack, with the curse of the werewolf. but fear not! david is transported to a hospital where he makes a lovely recovery, and jack um. well he stays dead. but he comes back to haunt david! he shows up a few more times in further states of decay to tell david that he really ought to just kill himself so that the curse is broken, jack and all the other werewolf victims can rest in peace, and david won't accidentally maul any additional civilians as a werewolf. hey while we're talking about jack heres me when i dressed up as him at a horror con. and the man himself.

anyways. hijinks ensue, and you're taken on a delightful romp across 97 minutes of fun as david tries to navigate life as... you guessed it. AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON!

why it rules:

in my opinion, that's enough to make this movie flames as fuck. but if you're not convinced yet? let me tell you some more. first off. the practical effects on this bad boy are straight up excellent. they're done by my personal favorite vfx artist rick baker (who also worked on star wars, men in black, videodrome, king kong and more!), and he does not hold back. the picture of jack shows how nasty and detailed the wound is pretty well, but in action it's even better with all the nasty fleshy bits dangling and wiggling and eugh. it's gross. but it's so well done. and he does a terrific job showing how jack decays throughout the rest of the movie. but of course, what really matters is the werewolf. it's not called an american dead guy in london. which is good. cause that would be a dumb name for a movie. anyways. if we’re going to talk about the werewolf, we have to start with the iconic transformation scene. sped up.

wow! pretty impressive stuff right? it’s all practical, no cgi, and i think the way it’s almost drawn out and the relative silence of the scene adds to the impact it has, since it sort of forces the audience to sit with and feel just a little bit of the discomfort that david seems to be feeling. we just have to watch him scream in pain and beg for mercy. yeesh. now, the transformation scene is hard to top. but i think the final werewolf design is actually pretty solid. it’s distinctly not man, but it’s also distinctly not wolf. i would include a picture, but i feel like part of the allure of the film is how it (jaws style) doesn’t really let you get a good look at the monster itself until the end of the movie. it’s a great way to build the tension and leave a little bit up to the audience’s interpretation. and the audience will always imagine something way more horrible than you could have ever created. which is kind of beautiful. the first time i watched, i found myself kind of disappointed in the werewolf’s appearance - its face seemed to be stuck in a sort of permanent scowl. i was kind of lost, because i couldn’t imagine why a static face had won out over whatever the vfx team was clearly capable of making. but Oh. dear reader. when nurse alex price, david’s dear love, who cared for him in the hospital, allowed him to live with her, and even banged him, approaches the wolf. when she tells david she loves him. the wolf’s eyes soften. it begins to drop the snarl. see. i lied here’s part of the wolf. all snarly like and scary. before it melts at three simple words from alex. god.

it hits me like a huge truck every single time. rick baker never misses and this movie was certainly not an exception. he got an academy award for it and it was well deserved.

not so into the technical stuff? that’s okay. i have more to praise about this movie. it is one of the best blends of horror and comedy that i’ve ever encountered. although some of it looks a little dated, i do think it maintains its fear factor. it’s plenty gory, and in my humble opinion, the subway scene (you’ll know it when you see it) is one of the most effective bits of horror i’ve ever encountered. even when isolated from the film, it still packs a punch. but i’m not gonna put it here because i want you to just watch it with the rest of the movie. sorry. and on top of the horror, it’s honestly hilarious. if you don’t think seven dead people ganging up on one dude and listing ways he should kill himself in the middle of a porn theater while a porno plays very loudly in the background. well. i don’t know what to tell you. you probably won’t like this movie that much. also, the final needle drop over the credits at the end is so abrupt and so funny. love it.

and of course, being an 80s horror movie with two male leads. i’m sure you can guess what i’m going to say. it is not hard to read jack and david as friends, but it’s also not very difficult to read them as having a little something going on. like love. fellas is it gay to go on a little trip across england with just yoh and your best bro? hard to say. textually, i do think it’s kind of telling that every time jack shows up, it’s either right after or while david is having a heterosexual experience (flirting with alex, banging alex, watching straight porn in the porn theater.) it’s almost like… something other than jack… is haunting david. i dunno. i’m not a cop. but it’s interesting. seems like something the average tumblr user might like to keep an eye on, so i’m letting you know. also they have a conversation while david is completely naked which is like. hello. plus the inherent queerness of the werewolf narrative is something i could talk about for HOURS and was especially prevalent, alongside vampire movies. in the 80s during the aids crisis. my short essay on this ⬇️

also, there’s a classic john landis third act car crash scene, where, in the same vein as the blues brothers, an obscene amount of cars are absolutely demolished.

also also, the muppets make a brief appearance in this movie. this made me jump for joy, because i love the muppets. and you should too.

fun and true facts

still not sold? well, check out this last ditch effort in the form of fun facts. or, if you just want to know more, read on.

micheal jackson was so impressed by the effects in this movie, particularly the transformation scene, that after seeing it, he promptly hired rock baker (vfx guy) and john landis (director guy) to work on the music video for his hit song thriller. you’ve probably seen it, but if not, go watch it. tbh, even if you have seen it before, go watch it again.

david naughton was a doctor pepper spokesman before the filming of this movie. he was in at least a few bits of promotional material, including at least one commercial. unfortunately he lost the job because of the amount of time he spent dick out in this movie. doctor pepper did not want that to be the representation of their brand. cowards, the lot of them.

speaking of his dick, you actually never fully see it at any point in the movie despite the fact that it seems they never felt like telling david to wear pants on set. there is a reason for this! david (character) is jewish and canonically circumcised (dunno how else to put it) and david (actor) is neither of these things. so, to avoid ruining the realism in his. werewolf movie. john landis took great care to never show the whole thing.

the american ambassador who visits david in the hospital is played by frank oz, who also voices miss piggy. because of her brief cameo, he technically plays two different roles in this movie, although miss piggy is simply credited as “Herself” in the end credits of the movie. he also voices yoda which isn’t relevant but it is really funny to me.

see you next wednesday, which is the name of the porno in the movie, is actually a fun john landis easter egg! many of his movies include the phrase “see you next wednesday.” it’s also seen on posters in the subway scene.

in the scene where jack first visits david in the hospital, he was supposed to take a bite of david’s toast, after which it would immediately fall out of his ruined and torn to shreds throat. however, it was cut for being too gross. which is sad i feel like it could have been funny.

when david calls home to talk to his parents, he mentions two siblings: rachel and max. these are the names of the directors children in real life.

griffin dunne, who plays jack, also appears as the family therapist in a season 2 episode of succession. this was a jumpscare.

while they were filming the naked in the zoo scenes, they were unable to actually close the zoo, so when filming carried on past the opening time of the park, they just kept going and allowed butt naked david naughton to run loose around the zoo. they did, however, succeed in closing piccadilly circus for the car crash scene.

in the beginning when jack is being attacked by the werewolf, it was in fact half a wolf prop on the front of a wheelbarrow. this is a very funny vision for me.

jack is right - the five pointed star is considered the mark of the wolfman, according to 1941’s The Wolf Man, played by lon chaney junior and produced by universal pictures. the guy knows his stuff. interestingly, rick baker did the makeup for the 2010 remake of the wolf man as well. he did pretty good, i think.

this isn’t even about this movie but blues brothers is an awesome film too and a fun fact about that one is there was a whole part of the budget devoted to buying cocaine. and you can tell. great movie.

director john landis did in fact kill three people the year after this movie came out. so. i do feel a little bad promoting it because jesus christ. but. no harm no foul in pirating it. it’s one easy internet archive search away. and sometimes it’s on tubi. but just in case, here’s the internet archive link. https://archive.org/details/an-american-werewolf-in-london

so. anyways. please check out this baller ass movie and talk to me about it. thank you so much to whoever asked this. i love you. thanks for reading. bye.

[leighsartworks216]

I Come With Knives Pt6

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

(The other parts of this story are under the First BG3 Masterlist, or you can use the AO3 link to read it there)

This one is my problem child. I have no idea how to write for the other companions but I needed to have this as context for the companions learning about Tav's bg and yeah whatever I've got better stuff coming up. I am very very excited for future chapters >:)

Warnings: self-destructive coping mechanisms (scratching oneself), mentions of slavery, hints of a panic attack, mentions of emotional abuse, mentions of biting, possibly OOC companions

Word Count: 1,334

Main Masterlist

First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

I Come With Knives Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

Everyone eyed you warily. You didn’t blame them. After you scrubbed your hands raw of the blood staining them, you provided no explanation. You’d basically sped in, Astarion trailing behind, and ran for a bucket of water. And stayed there. For hours. After the fact, you changed out the water, of course, but they weren’t concerned as much with the pink-tinted water as they were with the frantic nature you scraped the natural dye from your hands.

Astarion didn’t say anything either. A few of them had tried asking, but he smiled tersely and made an excuse that changed each time. “I was too distracted fighting a beast.” “You know how some people get with germs.” “They really hate the color red.” (This one was not said to Karlach, nor in her earshot.) 

It all came to a head at dinner, when you’d still provided no explanation. Gale handed out servings silently, staring at you as though studying a new specimen. Lae’zel watched you like a predator trying to defend her territory, prepared for the moment the intruder stepped over the line. Shadowheart barely repressed her scowl.

Wyll set down his bowl pointedly. “Haven’t you kept your secrets hidden long enough?” You raise your eyes from your barely-touched stew. You didn’t quite see him. Your mind lingered on the image of the Gur. “Do you expect us to continue following blindly while we pour our souls out for you?”

You bristled. The image disappeared, tucked away to haunt you later. “No. No, I’m sorry.” You sighed and set your bowl aside. Everyone watched you expectantly, more interested in what you could say than filling their bellies. “It’s just… difficult to talk about.”

“Speak,” Lae’zel encourages roughly. “We will listen.”

Astarion frowns at you. He’s taken to sitting beside you for ‘dinner’. They knew by now he wasn’t suited to eating normal food, but he didn’t quite trust them not to stake him through the heart or cut his head off. It was safest to linger by your side. The irony of your trust in him was not lost on him: You understood him best and you feared him the most. That fear may have dampened over time, but you still flinched at the gleam of his fangs, watched him as he left camp to hunt at night. Yet you’d bared your soul to him and him alone. He couldn’t wrap his head around it.

You inhale, slow and shaky. Your hands fiddle in your lap, providing you some sort of distraction. It would not be enough to ground you to reality should the thoughts become too potent.

“I was… am,” you corrected unsurely, “a vampire’s thrall. She… uses me as a blood source. Has used me, for years. I’ve been stuck under her thumb since I was a teenager. It’s… easier to have one consistent source of food than to go out looking for it every night.

“When we were out in the woods,” you nod your head slightly toward Astarion, “there was a Gur. A monster hunter. A-And he said he was looking for a runaway.” Your breaths sharpen into quick, frightened little things. You nearly choke on them. You stare into the fire. Your nails start scratching at your hands. You don’t even realize you’re doing it. “He had nothing to go on, just a name, but I panicked and I- I killed him. I shouldn’t have. I know I shouldn’t have. I could have explained everything. I could have paid him off. I could have-”

“Steady on, soldier,” Karlach interrupts. You can’t look at her, can’t draw your eyes away from the flickering flames, but you know she looks worried. It always amazed you how openly she wore her emotions, despite it all. “Take a breath, okay?”

Your nails stop scratching in favor of digging into your skin. You take a breath, slowly let it out, and your nails ease off. You run your fingertips mindlessly over the indents left behind.

You whisper, unable to raise your voice any further. “He said my master is in Berdusk.”

Quiet. Gale spoke up, voicing the awful realization everyone had. “That’s only a few miles from Baldur’s Gate.”

You nod.

“You’re marchin’ right back to her.” Karlach sighs, heavy and empathetic.

You finally lift your eyes from the fire. Everyone’s attention is on you, pitying and remorseful. “I have no choice. I can’t abandon you all just to run away. Especially with these tadpoles. I have no doubts she’ll find me quickly once we reach the city.”

“We could confront her,” Wyll suggests. “Go to Berdusk, face her head on, free you!”

“It’s not some goblin camp we can just walk into and clear out,” you protest. The idea thrills you to no end, but you cannot allow yourself that hope. Not when there is none. You will be found. Tonight, the next, a week from now. You’ll be locked back into your servitude. There is no chance you have to be free. “Killing a vampire lord isn’t- It’s not just-”

Astarion speaks up. You don’t expect it; he’d been so quiet this whole time. “If we can kill Cazador, we can kill Kir Parthene.” Your stomach rolls around at the sound of her name. “What makes facing my master any different from yours?”

You know the answer. Even if you don’t realize it yet, you know.

You have no qualms threatening Cazador. You’ve even told Astarion that you plan to help him kill his master, once and for all. Free him and his ‘siblings’, and rid Baldur’s Gate of the nighttime threat to its people. No longer would they have to go out, lure victims in as food for the vampire lord. It was so easy to promise. If you could help everyone else, why should you leave Astarion to the same fate you faced after this quest? He should be as free as possible from the chains binding him.

So why couldn’t you let them swear the same for you? What made Kir Parthene so different from Cazador? She was not stationed in as large a city, she did not steal souls off the street every night just for a quick meal, she did not personally carve poetry into the flesh of those beneath her. She had power, but no more than Cazador held. So why were you so reluctant to even dream of your freedom?

You were afraid.

Astarion can see the very second you know the answer to his question. Your eyes open a fraction wider, filling with a bottomless dread. Your heart stutters and your breath catches. He’s sure you’re on the verge of tears as you inhale a trembling breath, trying to keep yourself from hyperventilating, even as your fear squeezes your lungs.

“You won’t have to face her alone.” You turn to look at Shadowheart. “You’ve given us the strength to face our demons. We can help you face yours.”

You want to believe her. Believe all of them as they nod in agreement. Believe they could give you the strength you lacked, support you when you come face-to-face with her once more.

But then you see the deep crimson of her eyes and lips. You feel her nails digging into your skin. The cooing affections that come just after the harsh vitriol. Her teeth digging deep into your neck. How can you have any hope of facing her?

You shake your head and push yourself to your feet so fast Astarion is startled. “I’m sorry. I can’t think about this right now.” You abandon your dinner. It sits, lonely and growing cold, as you step away from the warm glow of the fire and the safety of your companions into the edge of trees surrounding your camp. You don’t go far, just far enough you can’t hear them speaking and they can’t see you collapse against a tree, clutching and clawing at your hands to remove the memories from your mind.

At least they know now.

---

Tag List:

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[frogwithhatto]

Ich liebe dich

Pairings: KönigxGhostxSoap

TW: Simon gets hurt for like 2 seconds, but it´s only mentioned briefly

Summary: König teaches them some german but forgets he has been using one particular phrase a lot around them, which Ghost asks him about...Said phrase might translate to 'I love you' which they haven't told each other yet.

Notes: just super fluffy and wholesome, those 3 deserve it, it is set in the same „universe“ as my other fic about them; Alleine. If it’s a continuation is up to you to decide :)

Words: ~1.7K

König was sitting on his bed, back against the headrest, legs crossed. He was lost in the book he was currently reading eyes scanning the pages his mind encompassed by the story. He wasn’t wearing his hood, there was no need for it in the privacy of his own room.

There was a knock on the door, followed by two familiar voices asking if they could come in. König couldn’t hide his smile as he eagerly called back that they could enter. His smile grew even wider as he saw Johnny who was making his way towards him in an instant, crawling on the bed and laying his head in the Austrians lap. „Mmhh missed ya.“ he mumbled nuzzling his head on one of Königs thighs. Ghost let out a hum, agreeing to Johnnys words. All of them knew they had only been apart for the briefing Ghost and Soap were attending but still König felt warm and fuzzy at those words. They missed him even though they weren’t apart for more than a few hours? The thought made him blush, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

Ghost wasn’t as eager as the Scot simply opting to sit down next to König and resting his head on his shoulder. The Austrian could see how he must’ve been smiling as well beneath his balaclava. „What are ya reading there?“ Ghost asked his voice deep and his eyes laced with curiosity as he scanned the pages. Johnnys interest was sparked as well as he tried twisting his head in a way that would allow him to read the title on the books spine. „Oh iz jus an old German book, my mom uzed to read it to me when I was a child.“ König answered a smile spread on his face as he indulged in reminiscences.

„Could you teach us some German König?“ Ghost requested, lifting his head from the others shoulder to look at him with questioning eyes. Oh god those eyes König could get lost in them for hours. Johnny nodded eagerly agreeing with Simons idea but chose to keep his head in the Austrians lap. König put the book on his nightstand and proceeded to place his left hand on Soaps shoulder absentmindedly drawing little shapes on it.

„Well of courze uhm let me think…“ he trailed off, racking his brain for anything he could teach them, suddenly he had an idea. He placed his right hand on Simons cheek, thumb ghosting over his cheekbone as their eyes met. The Austrian almost got lost in them, Simons light and incredibly long lashes blinking at him. „Du hast wunderschöne Augen.“ Königs voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke those words, his eyes soft and full of adoration as he gazed at the other man. Ghost didn’t understand the words but still felt his cheeks heating up, they had clearly been a compliment and the softness of the moment had overwhelmed him. „W-what does it mean?“ he whispered scared that talking too loud would interrupt the wholesome atmosphere. Now it was Königs turn to blush, nervously breaking eye contact and mumbling „Well it meanz u hav beautiful eyes.“ Simon was sure his face was bright red beneath the balaclava, his cheeks heating up and a grin spreading on his face.

„Mhh if that ain’t true Lt.“ Soap piped up.

„Ah shut up you two.“ Ghost laughed and proceeded to push up his mask to place a small peck on Königs pink cheek. His lips lingered on the others skin a bit longer than necessary, a silent thank you. Simons slightly chapped lips a stark contrast to the slight stubble on Königs cheek.

„Now make Johnny blush too.“ he whispered into the Austrians ear his lips curled into an evil grin before returning to his original position. His mask still on the bridge of his nose and his head resting against Königs shoulder.

„Hmm letz see… can’t forget our little man, right?“ König stated petting the Scots hair. „Hey it’s not my fault you two are giants!“ Soap huffed as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and pouted. „Aww no don’t pout now, Liebling. Dein Lachen ist viel süßer.“ König noted as he gently traced the shape of Johnnys lips with his thumb. The scot was looking up at him, his eyes widened as he asked what exactly the Austrian had just said to him. „Your smile iz way cuter.“ König whispered. The statement had indeed made Soap blush which didn’t stop him from shooting the Austrian his biggest grin. Ghost let out a little ‚aww‘ but suddenly he remembered he had wanted to ask König for some time now…

„Hey uhm you’ve said that one phrase I can’t remember right now a few times, what does it mean?? Johnny help me out here.“ „Uhm… OH yeah ish liebe disch? That the one you meant Si?“ Ghost nodded sitting up and pulling his knees to his chest to see Königs face better. He was a bit shocked to see that the others face was bright red, well at least where he could see his cheeks, the Austrian was pressing his palms against it. An attempt to hide from the explaining that awaited him. He was silently scolding himself for being such an idiot, admitting to more serious feelings and complimenting his partners was just way easier for him in his mother tongue, definitely not because they couldn’t understand him…

Soap also sat up at the confused look Ghost shot him, crossing his legs to sit opposite of the flustered Austrian. „Hey König I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.“ Johnny stated as he placed his hand on his tight, an attempt to ground König and asses the situation. „Yeah you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to, love.“ Ghost added, worry laced in his deep voice. He and Soap shared another worried glance.

„N-nein it’s fine I’m j-just… uhm I got thrown sa uhm bit off.“ he smiled as he removed his hands from his face. Soap had said those words without knowing what they meant but still the Austrians brain had short circuited. In order to calm his nerves König proceeded to take a deep breath as he gently took Soaps hand in his left and Ghosts in his right. They were still confused, a nervous quiet spread throughout the room.

„Ich liebe dic-.. euch sorry plural means uhm I love you, Johnny a-and I love you Simon“ König stated eyes nervously darting between his lovers. They hadn’t said those words to each other yet except for the Austrian who hadn’t admitted to it in a language the others would’ve been able to understand. He wasn’t one to hide his feelings, in their line of field one had to appreciate every moment not spent in combat. Still those words scared him, his fear of rejection getting the best of him.

Suddenly it clicked for Soap how König would mumble those words in his ear when they were cuddling both of them almost asleep but still trying to stay awake a bit longer to relish in each others touch. How he would pant them at him after they had a play fight in bed, Soap straddling the Austrians hips, both of them out of breath and grinning from ear to ear. Königs eyes growing soft and full of endearment as he had said them hypnotised by Johnnys winded laughs and giggles.

Ghosts eyes also widened in realisation, König had said those words after an especially intense mission in which Simon had been wounded. He had rushed to the brits side as soon as everything was clear worry in his eyes, hands frantically inspecting Ghosts wounds. He had cursed and spat out various German words Simon didn’t understand and he had just gone along with it not paying closer attention.

„So ein Dreck… fuck“

And

„Ghost?? Scheiße! You wiz me?…“

But after Simon had confirmed he was doing alright and König double checked to make sure of it, he had ended with:

„Gott sei Dank, ich liebe dich.“

König had grown incredibly nervous. Why weren’t they saying anything? Oh god this had been a mistake, but he did love them why lie about it? He was pulled out of his thoughts as Soap squeezed his hand, the others eyes searching for his. As König finally mustered up the strength to look at Johnny he saw the look of pure happiness in his face. His eyes were wrinkling at the edges and his lips were spread in a smile. Shifting his attention to Ghost he noticed a similar expression, his eyes full of love and a soft smile playing on his lips.

„I love u both too so so much, ya fuckin’ giants.“ Johnny laughed pulling both of his lovers faces closer to leave kisses all over them. Mushing Ghosts and Königs faces together, their cheeks pressed against each others as they beamed at Soap, giggling after every peck they received. Oh the Scot had those two wrapped around his little finger.

König had pulled them down with him as soon as he had the chance to, Soap was laying on top of him as Ghost was tucked into his side resting his head on the Austrians chest. Simon looked back and forth between his partners, he was feeling incredibly lucky, he almost couldn’t believe what was happening.

„I love you too Johnny… and I-I Isch lieabe disch too? uhm König.“ he mumbled a bit insecure the whole situation still overwhelming him. Nevertheless he tried to imitate how König had pronounced the words as best as he could. Soap simply beamed at Simon pressing a kiss to his forehead. Königs cheeks were still a light shade of pink as he pulled Ghost impossibly close which led to Simon nuzzling the crook of the Austrians neck, breathing in his scent of freshly cut herbs which had mixed with Johnnys minty one.

Soap had already fallen asleep as König let out a quiet „thank zou“ voice sounding sleepy and stifling a yawn, Ghost simply replied by pressing kisses to his neck. „Night König…“ the Brit paused contemplating his next words. „love u.“ Simon smiled into the others neck shuffling closer a content smile on his lips as he closed his eyes.

„Ich liebe dich auch Simon.“ König yawned tightening his grip on his partners as he drifted off.

Translations: Gott sei Dank - Thank god

[ingek73]

Harry and Meghan are right about racist Britain in their Netflix series

Readers on the uncomfortable truths exposed by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s Netflix series and media reactions to it

Tue 13 Dec 2022 17.41 GMT

A still from Harry & Meghan on Netflix.

I couldn’t agree more with Prince Harry’s comment in the Netflix documentary series Harry & Meghan that unlearning racism is a lifelong journey. As a 50-year-old provincial white man, I only hope I live long enough. Nels Abbey (A white lens sees Harry and Meghan as villains – through a Black one, they’ve done Britain a favour, 9 December) is right that Britain needs the catharsis of a serious discussion about racism and our colonial history.

Just as the US has yet to come to terms with the horrors of native American genocide and slavery, the UK has never addressed its role as a builder of the slave trade and brutal conqueror of a hundred or more nations. I love my country, but that love is tainted with the myth of a noble imperial history taught with equal enthusiasm by family, school and jingoistic media that reflect society only too well.

After the second world war, imperial Japan and Nazi Germany were all but erased from their nations’ iconography. It was expected that past atrocities were acknowledged, and a new identity of self-aware nationalism forged.

Perhaps it is no coincidence that Germany is the only European country to pay reparations to a former colony (though it insisted its €1.1bn agreement with Namibia was a gesture of reconciliation rather than reparations). They tore down the statues of their historical monsters. There will be no sensible discussion on race and colonialism as long as we still venerate ours.

Alex Brown

Muscat, Oman

• Nels Abbey is on point when he says that “as Britons of different ethnicities, we are often viewing the same events very differently”. Living as a black woman in Britain is like living in a parallel world to my white counterparts, who are oblivious to my experience. Watching the bigotry and racism towards Harry and Meghan play out in the media has been soul-destroying. The false narrative constructed by the media, and the relentless attacks on the couple to avoid the elephant in the room of media racism being the main factor in their departure from this country, are particularly vexing.

Harry and Meghan were wise to leave. For many people of colour silently enduring this country, leaving is an unrealised dream.

Name and address supplied

• I have been amazed by the vitriol directed at Harry and Meghan after the release of their Netflix series (TV review, 8 December). It is only when one looks under the surface that it starts to make sense. They have poked at the identity of Britain.

Traditionally, British people saw their country as a robust white democracy, with global influence and a beloved queen at the apex of society. But this myth unravelled for many people in 2022. Our democracy was exposed as flaky and, at the moment of greatest political instability, our queen of 70 years died. Underlying all this is that many people in Britain, including the royal family, don’t seem to have got their heads round the fact that we lost our empire long ago.

Britain has been changing for decades, and those in the establishment who have had most to lose attack the changes and cling to the past. For many, though, change is welcome. I believe most white British people now see black Britons as “us” not “them”, Brexit as a chauvinistic disaster, and doing something about climate change as more important than looking at yet more photos of the Sussexes.

Cath Potter

London

• I was saddened but not surprised when Harry and Meghan fled the UK. Vast swathes of our society follow our tabloid press in blind ignorance. They turned Meghan into a villain and the public, like sheep, followed. My family is multicultural, and I have seen my son tread warily around countless subtle racist comments, as well as overt abuse from strangers. In some areas, the UK’s multiculturalism is a source of great pride to me. But we still have a long way to go.

Michaela Harte

Bromley, London

• The backlash from rightwing politicians and media against Harry and Meghan’s documentary amply proves their point.

Kit Jackson

London

[chocolatecakeandbl]

"I defended a friend," Sky protests. He's not Rain or Sig. Or heaven forbid, P'Som. Why would someone want to start a physical fight?

Ple's scream did attract attention -- Rain and the few juniors hanging around outside to eagerly (and rather rudely) ask Rain about dating P'Phayu -- they all came running. The mugger got in one last punch on Sky, with it happening too quickly, before they fled alone in the street.

Por got there first, yelling their names, grabbing Sky's wrist when Sky landed on a knee. Sky lost focus through the immediate jolt of pain.

Rain, along with the hot-headed juniors, took off after the mugger. Sig hugged a visibly distraught Ple clutching her purse to herself. She called out for Sky, kneeling with him, near-tears about the bloody lip.

After explaining this, Prapai's arms tighten around Sky.

"Let me take care of you?" Prapai murmurs, tilting his head to stare into his boyfriend's eyes going a bit unfocused. Violence feels familiar. Burning hot like a lighter on Sky's skin. "Hmm? Baby, I'm right here."

Sky blinks, frowning. "You don't hav--"

"Stop."

It's firm, and yet, Prapai's exhale feels gentle on Sky's bruised mouth.

"Stop carrying everything yourself... and let me. Let me take it for you."

Part 4!!!!!!!!!!!!

HIT ME IN THE FEELS, WILL YOU?!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHH The TURN! I didn't expect the turn, and ahhhh *incoherence and screaming following* adhaoghaoghcdhfagh

Okay, deep breath. Sky, baby. Sweetheart. Honey. PLEASE allow Pai to take care of you. And Pai: World's Strongest Soldier. I love their moments together when Sky is about to break, haunting trauma and all, and we see Prapai just being THERE for him, no questions asked. I mean, not that I want Sky to have a bad day (but let's be realistic, IT HAPPENS) but Prapai... I mean... Prapai.... I mean... you know what I mean....

-- Edit: Find all other parts in my Masterlist

[dalekaiken]

Do u hav any sth aus.....

Oh, plenty! Most of them can be found from my art blog @pajulammas

Since I'm a fic writer, these are pretty much just my multichapter fics, but well XDD

Prophecy of Chaos is a project I have together with my bestie @tillytilli! It's a fully illustrated AU fic.

The premise is that Sonic is an orphan that has been raised in the Eggman Legion, and he's childhood best friends with Shadow. They've been training and are very eager to get to an actual battlefield to fight their sworn enemy, the Resistance. One day Sonic and Shadow decide to sneak out to race, but Sonic ends up getting lost and captured by the opposing side. To his surprise, what has been taught to him about the Resistance isn’t as black and white as he had believed. And even bigger surprise to both him and the Resistance is that Sonic is actually a long awaited mythical hero from an ancient Prophecy, meant to save Mobius. Joining the Resistance is not easy when they're very suspicious of him, but what makes everything even harder is that in the process Sonic has to leave behind his best friend, Shadow. Can they still remain friends despite fighting under opposing banners?

And yes, the premise is inspired by She-Ra, but the plot will differ a lot and it's not just a retelling of the story with Sonic characters XD

Prophecy of Chaos can be read on AO3

DNA Collision isn't really an AU, but I still call it an AU. I guess alternative canon is more accurate?? But anyways, the premise is that a failed attempt at using Chaos Control affects Shadow's hybrid DNA, making his alien genes try to take over the hedgehog ones. The story follows Shadow and Sonic trying to figure out what's happening, if it's dangerous, and if they can cure it. And Shadow's pretty much having an identity crisis, the Black Arms traits making him feel like a monster.

DNA Collision can be read on AO3

Impactful Skip is an AU in the sense that its world is a possible future, so I count it as an AU! It's a post-apocalyptic future AU, but in the sense that Sonic has timeskipped there. The premise is that Sonic has made plans to both go on a date with Shadow and have a movie night with his little brother Tails. While he's on his way to the date, he finds a mysterious portal and gets sucked into it. The portal sends him 50 years into the future, where everything looks post-apocalyptic and desolate. Everyone thought Sonic was long gone, and to his horror he finds out the state of the world is not caused by Eggman but Tails. So Sonic is trying to reconnect with his friends and save the future.

Impactful Skip can be read on AO3

All of these are still works in progresses (I actually managed to finish chapter 3 for Impactful Skip today but it still needs to be edited and beta read). I also have a few other AUs planned but I don't wanna reveal too much yet, but I will when I start properly working on them >:3c

[chaotictarlos]

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 aka. 2022 Recap

Thank you to the wonderful @good-ways and @tailoredshirt the tag! You're a peach 😘

Guidelines: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favourite line you’ve written this year!

post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022

You took the best of my heart and left the rest in pieces Word Count: 23,520 | Summary: An exploration of emotions. The Breakup Era from Carlos' POV

This is the fic that took 6 months to write. It was my greatest achievement of 2022. It took so much out of me to write, many tears, and almost deletions but it turned out so beautiful. It's my favorite fic that I wrote this year, and one that I cherish deeply. It was well worth all of the time that it took to write.

With love, your soulmate| Word Count: 27,658 | Chapters: 7 / 10 | Summary: Carlos Reyes doesn’t think he has a soulmate. In the 22 years he had been alive he had never found anything that would tell him otherwise. At first, it bothered him that he was seemingly without anyone and that there wasn’t a perfect person out there for him but he learned to grow comfortable with that information. He learned to adapt, to date enough that he wouldn’t be lonely, and on the nights when he was without anyone he found ways to make himself feel good. He was content. Or so he thought so until a letter arrived on the day of his 22 birthday. A letter addressed to him, from the past and from his soulmate. From there, they start talking. Leaving letters for each other to find and read, falling in love through the words that they shared. Will TK ever catch up to Carlos so that they can have their happy ever after? Or will time remain cruel to them?

This fic was a bit out of my comfort zone and dealt with a new concept. It's been a blast to write and I've enjoyed pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I hope to get this one done very soon!!

Fuck my life up | Word Count: 2,728 | Summary: The one time Carlos and TK talked when they were broken up.

It's no secret that I'm obsessed with the breakup era and exploring the dynamics there. I fully believe, in my little hc, that Tarlos hooked up at least once during their breakup era. This was my take on that.

finding the sun in a world of shadows | Word Count: 5453 | Chapters: 2 / 10 | Summary: In a post-apocalyptical world, two lost souls find each other.

This is another one that took me out of my comfort zone but it's been really fun to write and build the world. I have chapter three done and I need to post it, this is another one I'm hoping to get done this year.

It was always you | Word Count: 3333 | Summary: Sometimes in order to find out just how much you’re meant to be with someone, you have to fall apart and lose them first.

This is one of those getting back together fic's but I adore it so much. I love a good ex's to lovers fic and I love how this one turned out. It was a joy to write.

4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year I have so many I'm excited for.

(along with the two mentioned above):

TK POV Breakup Era Fic - this is a companion fic to the Carlos POV Breakup Era Fic and shows TK's side of things. It's slowly coming along but it's gonna be good and my hope is to have it done by summer!

Sequel to Carlos & TK Breakup Era Fic - this will focus on how and why TK come back together. It'll be canon divergence and won't follow along with how they got back together in canon, but I like the spin on it that I've decided to go with. I think it'll be a fun fic and it'll include a lot of conversations we missed.

[Redacted] Tarlos AU - 😉😏 this one is yet to be started but I have it mapped out. I'm keeping a little hush on the details, though. Sometimes it's fun to have surprises 😘

Secret Dating AU - Professor!TK x Social Worker!Carlos. This one I am currently writing and already has 4 chapters. I'm hoping to write it all out before I start posting it. This is another one I hope to have done by summer.

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year

Length - My fics this year were longer and more fleshed out. They and more details and really went into the story rather than just brushed the surface.

Dialogue - I always feel like my dialogue is bad, but I think I improved on it this year. Hopefully I'll improve more on it this coming year too.

Ideas - I think my ideas have been better in general, which is really nice.

top 2 resolutions

Writing for myself and my pleasures which includes not being as upset / obsessed over numbers and how people might react to what I write. At the end of the day I need to be the one happy with the content I create, other people liking it is just a bonus.

Keeping in mind that I do this for fun. This is a fun past time and it shouldn't be stressful. Nobody knows me in real life, they only know a fraction of who I am and they may or may not make an accurate judgement of myself. And that's okay. As long as I'm having fun, that's all that matters.

number 1 favourite line you’ve written this year!

That’s what he got for thinking - a broken heart and an empty home that didn’t feel like home without TK. - which, of course, is from Carlos Breakup Era Fic

No pressure tags: @11thstreetvigilante @theghostofashton @bubblesandroses8 @mooshkat @cowlos-reyes @thebumblecee @noxsoulmate @detective-giggles

[breakyourrxles]

chapter 6 is soooo great. it's one of the build up for paradise lost, as for me because let's be real. this is one of the chapter where they talk, and it's not even fully talk yet.

when i read this, i think it's somehow clear that yn is someone who need the words, the affirmation, the clarification. because there's something between them. that's clear. just like how her monologue before

'To the question of “Is that your boyfriend?” the answer is clear.

To the question of “Are you just friends?” you can’t be so confident anymore.'

all of this followed by hongjoong action, how he's getting softer, all of the lingering touch and so on, it's indeed frustrating that he would do anything to avoid the talk. he's not one with words and oh don't we all know it.

the 'aren't you already' would haunt me forever. it's obvious then right there, there's hurt, there's the unspoken 'please can't you see this i want us to be us but i want you to be happy still, but please be with me."

hongjoong's action, how exactly do i put this? i understand why yn is frustrated. she want one sentence from him. but to him, it's so hard to do so- to be really open and say it out loud. thus making me banging my head on the wall everysingle time.

"you should tell her" "i know" got me screaming for multiple reason. i am crying. i am crying because oh finally he did want to talk and say it out loud but also crying because i somehow could sense the calm before storm right here.

i got this ask twice but at a glance i think they're the same so i am just going to respond to the first one...sorry if i missed anything in the second! ^^;

// paradise lost spoilers

i feel like you're really, really right in the way that chapter 6 is kind of the "switch" of things. everything is going really well, is really chill and fine. there have been hints at problems before but nothing really fun-ending up until now!

when i read this, i think it's somehow clear that yn is someone who need the words, the affirmation, the clarification.

she does, but she's certainly not made that an easy road to go down, huh? ALSO! a lot of people tend to forget this, but it was actually hongjoong who tried to push for them to have The Conversation about their feelings and stuff first, which she rejected, because the timeline wasn't one that worked out for her 🤔 pair that with her still sleeping with other people, it's easy to see how this behavior could read to someone as "i don't want to be locked down into a partnership with you because i'm enjoying having sex with others still."

hongjoong's action, how exactly do i put this? i understand why yn is frustrated.

just for a little thought-experiment fun, think about it from hongjoong's perspective 😛 (which i've already outlined above but still): he likes this woman, has always made that pretty obvious, she's still having sex with other people which, okay fine, but she is so that sends a certain message of maybe not desiring exclusivity between them, that maybe they are just friends as far as she is concerned.

then they go to japan in ch 4, she gets jealous about watching him very lightly interact with someone that he has a history with, he sees that, understands it, and then insists that they have the conversation then. here's the excerpt from ch 4:

By the time your glass delicately hits the table again, he inhales to speak, eyes still locked onto you.

“Suppose we should talk about this then, eh?” he begins, and for a moment, you're unsure of what exactly it is he's referring to.

You know what you think he is referring to, what you think he should be referring to...but could he be...?

“You know,” he starts again, pulling back from his domineering forward stance and waving his hands about. “Feelings — should there be any.”

You're glad you don't have the liquid from your glass still in your mouth, as surely it would be all over the man in front of you by now.

“Our what?” you stutter, and you realize a little too late that it sounds as if you have no idea what he's talking about, as if he's crazy to even suggest such a thing. Not your intent, the question comes fully from the disbelief of him bringing it up in the first place.

And just like that.

At some point he must have ordered another round, because the waitress comes back with another set of glasses — you far too shocked to really fathom how and when this could have happened, or much of anything that's happening, as far as that goes. Hongjoong takes a strong sip of liquor from his cup before reaching forward for another cigarette...his eyes glancing up towards your own with every few silent seconds that pass between the two of you.

“Well?” he urges.

Stuttering, you're still trying to find the words. A million thoughts racing through your mind, because yeah, obviously this is a conversation that the two of you should have, it probably should have happened a while ago — but the truth of the matter is that you're still not entirely sure of where you want to go with this, with him, with the concept of...us.

As a result, the conversation feels all too premature. The answers that you wanted to have by now still alluding you, it feels as though you're going in empty-handed — you sort of wanted to have it a bit more figured out by now.

Hongjoong, a man always so well put together and emotionally, mentally collected. If he's initiating the conversation, you worry it's because the scales are tipped in his favor.

One of you has the answers, the other? Not so much.

“Is there—“ you start, swallowing down the lump in your throat that urges you to put off this conversation for a future date. “Is there something...here?”

You still in your seat, hands firmly wrapped around your glass, so tightly upon realization you think you might have been capable of shattering it in your grasp due to the tenseness of the situation — watching Hongjoong brings you peace in most instances; watching him work, listening to him tell stories, simply existing, but the moments between your question and his fated remark feel as though they drag on for years. The feeling of your heart beating strong against your own rib cage, you realize you're holding your breath as you wait for him — his eyes finally turning up from his lighter as he sets it back down against the table beneath him.

And he shrugs,  settling against the chair once more.

“Yeah, maybe. Probably.”

you've got to imagine how crazy-making this is in his position jfghjf. so fine, they move on from that, he has every, logical reason to believe that like okay she enjoys what we have but also wants to keep sleeping with other people, so i guess i will just invite other people in because at least then we get to do it together? enter wooyoung. except she's also trying to bang this man in secret, out from under hongjoong's nose, and not a part of their little agreement which is like...this is his best friend?

so, hongjoong tests her. tests are shitty and immature and not how you should engage with a partner yes but he certainly did learn a lot of information in doing so! he wanted to see if she was going to show up that night to fuck wooyoung, not knowing he was going to be there at all, and she proved that she would, that she was going to. ouch.

and NOW, here we are: she wants to lock him down into a monogamous situation after all of this. and like. sure. she hasn't technically done 'anything' wrong (it really just depends tbh lol but that's the joy of this story is a lot of the right and wrong is up to personal interpretation) but her actions are going to have reactions as well, whether she has done something objectively, technically wrong or not. her moving the way that she has has obviously caused him a lot of hurt, hurt that he is willing to ignore and look over because he has feelings for her and still believes that there is hope at the end of it, that they can navigate to a place of mutual understanding with what they want.

we'll see if that pays off in the end.

"you should tell her" "i know" got me screaming for multiple reason. i am crying. i am crying because oh finally he did want to talk and say it out loud but also crying because i somehow could sense the calm before storm right here.

yeah...LMAO unfortunately it's only going to get much, much worse before it gets better (?) 😭 wooyoung the voice of reason but partially because he doesn't know enough at this point in time, but also just because of course he's gonna be like "well...talk. use your words."

wow sorry for rambling but i am a big pl!hongjoong apologist! KFHDGJFDJ. I HAVE THINGS TO SAY! JUSTICE FOR PL!HONGJOONG!

i'm glad you're enjoying it so much though! i love being able to get into the nitty gritty details of their interactions like this 🕵🏻‍♀️ thanks for dropping by!

[grad604anastasiadesreserch]

Complete Draft of Essay

Feedback:

Everything is written well, clearly and it is interesting to read

If the audience is new to my topic and theme, they may feel lost. Interest sparks when I relate it to myself or the designers mentioned

Less context, more description

Keep to the word count

Do not merge two sections, follow the structure

Add references and citations

I don't need to rewrite all of it, rather, rearrange it

Don't say in Section 6 that I hav not decided my future yet, rather say where you might want to go and link it back to theme

[llycaons]

ep33 (2/3): you are safe now my sweet child (bursts into tears)

ah, but this atmosphere is so different from where we left off. for so many episode's it's been so stressful and frightening and painful. on the run, dust and blood and fire, starvation and violence and cruelty and grief. and this is immediately just...calm. it's peaceful. there's no danger here, no need to rush or fight. I felt my blood pressure go down and my heart ease up immediately. also the jingshi is so beautiful

AND LWJ IS PLAYING WUJI. we hardly hear it in-universe. I totally remembered it as Rest. ah, so romantic. and lwj is sitting here all informal, he looks so nice

wwx thinking about jc trying to kill him with the upmost contempt and hatred in his eyes but he looked briefly sad for a moment so despite wwx saying repeatedly that he thinks jc's personality sucks and tries to avoid him and says he;s scared of him, they're secretly the REAL emotional heart of this show. man some jc fans are dumb as shit for real

anyway ahh this is so soothing, just waking up to being cared for and being okay for once? not having to worry? what a relief

wwx touching his face after looking at the mask (and the mask itself) is the clearest proof we got yet that this is his original face and body

I just can't stop taking screenshots...this is so gorgeous

I LOVE this conversation between wwx and lwj. wwx is far more serious, canonically, than he's presented in fics. he's more thoughtful here too, and lwj's come far enough that he can match his honesty with trust. the single tear there...idk if it's for anything specific. maybe just the situation. the unlikeliness of being alive again. being there with lwj. being here while his sister is not

it has never seemed odd to me that they don't start talking about their feelings for each other right away. wwx has so much processing to do

ah! so he's jc now! he was jwy earlier, at the cliff. but it doesn't surpise me that lwj is less respectful. oh, also he's probably older anyway

wwx, after waking up, isn't just more settled and calmer and less irritable, he's more straightforward as well. maybe more somber, but that's to be expected. he's not forcing himself to be upbeat every day anymore in order to keep up appearances

as we saw before, more trusting of wwx. ready to prove his faith and regain wwx's trust in return

this shot makes me feels indescribable emotions, it's so beautiful and peaceful

CR is like. perfect for wwx immediately after waking up. just soothing music and quiet contemplation. a companion if he wants it, and solitude if he doesn't. beautiful forests and waterfalls. no responsibilities or demands or blame. nobody trying to hurt him, no dogs. he can walk the grounds freely. there are no terrible memories hiding there to bite him. I don't think CR would have been an ideal home for wwx pre-sunshot, but after everything I can kind of see it. so long as the lans don't view him as irrevocable evil because he's kind of sensitive to that and it's weird how both canon and fanon acts like it's fine for him to have to live like that. I'm glad cql offers him an out

and here he is! standing in the sunlight, becoming accustomed to being alive again.

wow, the jingshi is really big

omg okay so this scene below? I completely lost it. I forgot how it started. I just burst into tears thinking about it. and I get it now. Iget it

wwx smiling a bit seeing his old self isn't just fondly reminiscing, not really. it's harder, more painful, but necessary. he's mourning the person who he was when he was here before, the innocent before the war, the boy who died.

and he follows these visions of his old self through the halls, through the library. it's good for him. he's remembering the old days, but not in a way where I think he wants to go back, more like he's appreciating what he had and he's coming to terms with not having it anymore

I was fully sobbing this entire sequence for reasons I would find it quite difficult to convey, and which have less to do with the story than with me anyway. but suffice to say I had to pause the video to cry it out before resuming. that's like, the sixth time this rewatch. some kind of record, probably. im so weepy this go around.

oh, and this is very sweet. wwx coming back to the bunnies after all these years, talking to them again like a kid

im sorry but after reading descriptions of the whip marks from the book these are just so piddling in comparison, there's like three. I wish they hadn't been cowards and actually gone and marked him up

AND THIS. i think I knew he did it to himself immediately. who else? I don't think it ever needed a full explanation

oh he's so handsome like this 🥺

[haomnyangz]

Stop acting so cold. You came to dance.

[ramblingandwritings]

Lost Time

Contents: Scarecrow x Reader, Pining, Fluff, Kissing

Words: 750

Scarecrow's thoughts trailed off as he listened to the information you recently got for him, carefully watching your lips move as you go over every small detail. It's been a month since he had surgery after Croc's attack. Not once did you ever comment on his decision to graft the mask to his face. Not once did you ever look upon him with fear after he revealed his new form to you.

It confused him.

Angered him.

…Intrigued him.

You two had a history of working together before the Asylum incident. You had always taken interest in his work and beliefs. And for some reason, he had found himself delighted that you escaped the Asylum amidst all the chaos. Perhaps it was because you had found him out in the river and quickly came to his aid as you've done many times before, helping him to shore and tending to his wounds the best you could.

"Doctor Cra- Scarecrow?" You quickly correct yourself.

Even now he can't help but feel amused that you sometimes continue to refer to him as Doctor, "Yes?"

"I was asking what action we should take next."

"We wait." He responds.

"We've been waiting. When do we strike?"

"Patience. We bide our time, gain allies, and gather as much information on Batman as we can. You will know when the plan is set in motion."

"You keep saying that Scarecrow, but-"

"But what? Do you have a problem with my method?"

"No, of course not. You know I'll follow whatever you do-"

Does he know that?

Will you follow everything he has planned?

"But I want to make Batman pay for what he's done to you."

He's silent. He stares at you with those milky white eyes, expression unreadable.

"You told me Batman was the reason for all of your suffering, so I want to make him suffer in return."

He lets out a small hum. Perhaps you understand him better than anyone else, "In time. He will know true suffering in time. For now, we wait." He says, reaching his hand out and lightly brushing the back of his fingers against your cheek. You freeze for a moment, your eyes wide with confusion. A brief apologetic look crosses Scarecrow's face as he pulls his hand away.

Why did he do that? Why did you do that? Has he misread your devotion to him as something more? You've never shown fear to his appearance, but you now freeze to his touch? Perhaps you are afraid of him after all. Or is it disgust? Disgust at this disfigured monster of a man that barely resembles a human anymore?

He is not afraid of your rejection. Not like he was before in his younger days. Yet there is still a pain deep in his chest.

He is snapped from his thoughts when he feels you grab his hand and place it in your own, palm to palm, then lay your other hand on top of his. You give him a small, soft smile, "Okay, Scarecrow, I'll continue to wait with you."

He stares wordlessly, raising his other hand and placing his palm on your cheek. You lean into his touch this time. He leans his face closer to yours, but hesitates, stopping just inches away. You quickly close the gap, pressing your lips to his mouth. He's surprised by your eagerness, but doesn't move as your hands move away from his and you lightly grip his arms. So you're not disgusted by him?

Good.

He finally leans his head forward, closing his eyes and savoring the taste of your lips on him. Lips he thought of kissing many times before when he had his own to press against them. It was ironic, in a way, that he was no longer afraid to kiss you when he hadn't the lips to do so. Fate really does have a twisted sense of humor.

The kiss lasted for only a few seconds before you pulled back, a look of embarrassment on your face as you stuttered out, "Crane- Scarecrow I- Sorry I shouldn't hav-"

"It's alright to call me Jonathan." He responds, "But only when we're alone." He rubs his thumb against your cheek, "And I don't mind."

Your look of embarrassment turns to confusion, then to a soft, content smile.

"Now, why don't we make up for lost time?" Scarecrow suggests, moving his thumb across your lower lip before leaning in and stopping, waiting for you to kiss him again.

[odinsblog]

“I am writing these lines in Kyiv while it is under artillery attack.

Until the last minute, I had hoped that Russian troops wouldn’t launch a full-scale invasion. Now, I can only thank those who leaked the information to the US intelligence services.

Yesterday, I spent half the day considering whether I ought to join a territorial defence unit. During the night that followed, the Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyi signed a full mobilisation order and Russian troops moved in and prepared to encircle Kyiv, which made the decision for me.

But before taking up my post, I would like to communicate to the Western Left what I think about its reaction to Russia’s aggression against Ukraine.

First of all, I am thankful to those Leftists who are now picketing Russian embassies – even those who took their time to realise Russia was the aggressor in this conflict.

I am thankful to politicians who support putting pressure on Russia to stop the invasion and withdraw its troops.

And I am thankful to the delegation of British and Welsh MPs, unionists, and activists who came to support us and hear us in the days before the Russian invasion.

I am also thankful to the Ukraine Solidarity Campaign in the UK for its help over many years.

This article is about the other part of the Western Left. Those who imagined ‘NATO aggression in Ukraine’, and who could not see Russian aggression – like the New Orleans chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA).

Or the DSA International Committee, which published a shameful statement failing to say a single critical word against Russia (I am very thankful to US professor and activist Dan la Botz and the others for their critique of this statement).

Or those who criticised Ukraine for not implementing the Minsk Agreements and kept silent about their violations by Russia and the so-called ‘People’s Republics’.

Or those who exaggerated the influence of the far-Right in Ukraine, but did not notice the far-Right in the ‘People’s Republics’ and avoided criticising Putin’s conservative, nationalist and authoritarian policy. Part of the responsibility for what is happening rests with you.

This is part of the wider phenomenon in the Western ‘anti-war’ movement, usually called ‘campism’ by critics on the Left. British-Syrian author and activist Leila Al-Shami gave it a stronger name: the “anti-imperialism of idiots”. Read her wonderful 2018 essay if you haven’t done so yet. I will repeat only the main thesis here: the activity of a large part of the Western ‘anti-war’ Left over the war in Syria had nothing to do with stopping the war. It only opposed Western interference, while ignoring, or even supporting, the engagement of Russia and Iran, to say nothing of their attitude to the ‘legitimately elected’ Assad regime in Syria.

“A number of anti-war organisations have justified their silence on Russian and Iranian interventions by arguing that ‘the main enemy is at home,’” Al-Shami wrote. “This excuses them from undertaking any serious power analysis to determine who the main actors driving the war actually are.”

Unfortunately, we have seen the same ideological cliché repeated over Ukraine. Even after Russia recognised the independence of the ‘People’s Republics’ earlier this week, Branko Marcetic, a writer for American Left magazine Jacobin, penned an article almost fully devoted to criticising the US. When it came to Putin’s actions, he went only as far as remarking that the Russian leader had “signal[led] less-than-benign ambitions”. Seriously?

I am not a fan of NATO. I know that after the end of the Cold War, the bloc lost its defensive function and led aggressive policies. I know that NATO’s eastward expansion undermined efforts directed at nuclear disarmament and forming a system of joint security. NATO tried to marginalise the role of the UN and the Organisation for Security and Co-operation in Europe, and to discredit them as ‘inefficient organisations’. But we cannot bring back the past, and we have to orient ourselves on the current circumstances when seeking a way out of this situation.

How many times did the Western Left bring up the US’s informal promises to the former Russian president, Mikhail Gorbachev, about NATO (“not one inch eastward”), and how many times did it mention the 1994 Budapest Memorandum that guarantees Ukraine’s sovereignty? How often did the Western Left support the “legitimate security concerns” of Russia, a state that owns the world’s second-largest nuclear arsenal? And how often did it recall the security concerns of Ukraine, a state that had to trade its nuclear weapons, under the pressure of the US and Russia, for a piece of paper (the Budapest Memorandum) that Putin trampled conclusively in 2014? Did it ever occur to Leftist critics of NATO that Ukraine is the main victim of the changes brought about by the NATO expansion?

Time and again, the Western Left responded to the critique of Russia by mentioning US aggression against Afghanistan, Iraq and other states. Of course, these states need to be brought into the discussion – but how, exactly?

The argument of the Left should be, that in 2003, other governments did not put enough pressure on the United States over Iraq. Not that it is necessary to exert less pressure on Russia over Ukraine now.”

- A letter to the Western Left from Kyiv: The ‘anti-imperialism of idiots’ meant people turned a blind eye to Russia’s actions