#My AUs are super precious to me so I love explaining about them!!

[dalekaiken]

Do u hav any sth aus.....

Oh, plenty! Most of them can be found from my art blog @pajulammas

Since I'm a fic writer, these are pretty much just my multichapter fics, but well XDD

Prophecy of Chaos is a project I have together with my bestie @tillytilli! It's a fully illustrated AU fic.

The premise is that Sonic is an orphan that has been raised in the Eggman Legion, and he's childhood best friends with Shadow. They've been training and are very eager to get to an actual battlefield to fight their sworn enemy, the Resistance. One day Sonic and Shadow decide to sneak out to race, but Sonic ends up getting lost and captured by the opposing side. To his surprise, what has been taught to him about the Resistance isn’t as black and white as he had believed. And even bigger surprise to both him and the Resistance is that Sonic is actually a long awaited mythical hero from an ancient Prophecy, meant to save Mobius. Joining the Resistance is not easy when they're very suspicious of him, but what makes everything even harder is that in the process Sonic has to leave behind his best friend, Shadow. Can they still remain friends despite fighting under opposing banners?

And yes, the premise is inspired by She-Ra, but the plot will differ a lot and it's not just a retelling of the story with Sonic characters XD

Prophecy of Chaos can be read on AO3

DNA Collision isn't really an AU, but I still call it an AU. I guess alternative canon is more accurate?? But anyways, the premise is that a failed attempt at using Chaos Control affects Shadow's hybrid DNA, making his alien genes try to take over the hedgehog ones. The story follows Shadow and Sonic trying to figure out what's happening, if it's dangerous, and if they can cure it. And Shadow's pretty much having an identity crisis, the Black Arms traits making him feel like a monster.

DNA Collision can be read on AO3

Impactful Skip is an AU in the sense that its world is a possible future, so I count it as an AU! It's a post-apocalyptic future AU, but in the sense that Sonic has timeskipped there. The premise is that Sonic has made plans to both go on a date with Shadow and have a movie night with his little brother Tails. While he's on his way to the date, he finds a mysterious portal and gets sucked into it. The portal sends him 50 years into the future, where everything looks post-apocalyptic and desolate. Everyone thought Sonic was long gone, and to his horror he finds out the state of the world is not caused by Eggman but Tails. So Sonic is trying to reconnect with his friends and save the future.

Impactful Skip can be read on AO3

All of these are still works in progresses (I actually managed to finish chapter 3 for Impactful Skip today but it still needs to be edited and beta read). I also have a few other AUs planned but I don't wanna reveal too much yet, but I will when I start properly working on them >:3c

[starchants]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

intended eddie brock / venom x female!reader ; defending her man against family.

word count — 874.

themes + warnings ; okie so this is kinda like an au in a way, it’s a secret pre-established poly relationship, also reader is colton drake’s sister (adoptive, biological, or married-in your choice!) so like colton isn’t super approving of his sister having a relationship with someone.

author’s note — this is so utterly disgustingly cutely based off sabrina’s new song with our favorite loser and our precious symbiote baby <3! so eddie and venom aren’t in this fic but they are both mentioned and it’s kind of just the reader existing with the family dynamic and hearing about her boys.

support mention ; if you feel like supporting, a nice ‘like’ will suffice on my blog, i know some writers love to ask nicely if you could reblog or comment etc. yet on my blog (no hate towards them as everyone likes appreciation in different ways), but if you’d like to reblog or comment feel free after all this is a safe space for any fan-individual to have fun :’)

masterlist

her (e/c) eyes rolled softly as she listened to the rambling of her brother as she peered down at the symbiote in the tube feeling utterly devasted for the poor creature. y/n knew what it was like to be trapped in a tube and feeling hopeless with the liquid nutrition being the only thing keeping you alive, at least she knew from venom, whom had ranted to her one night all about it in order to get her to stay away from her brother. her boyfriend and the symbiote had tried their hardest to take down her brother and his organization, yet they had failed, and colton wasn’t all that pleased with them. in fact, colton drake wished to hunt them down and find them yet he found that simply impossible. unbeknownst to colton, his own sister was the mere reason why he couldn’t find them.

y/n was the only person who had approved of her own choice to fall in love with eddie brock and by extension venom as well, at least that is what she believed as whenever she would drop hints about her secret pair of boyfriends without revealing too much information ; everyone seemed to verbally bash her for falling in love, claiming she was too childish as she fell in love with more than one person. they deemed their relationship as wrong and an act of unfaithful nature but y/n knew better than to listen to all those vipers depressed in empath clothing.

the (h/c) haired woman deeply sighed to herself as she heard her brother changing the conversation about his company to the fact that she wasn’t listening to him. in fact colton had claimed that his sister was too busy thinking about her secretive boyfriend instead of listening to his plan to save all of mankind from the destruction of earth itself. (e/c) eyes lightened up as their owner had smiled softly at the symbiote who had made a gesture inside of the tube, one of which essentially called her brother an annoying loser, causing her to wholeheartedly agree even if she didn’t admit it out loud.

“yet not to mention eddie brock stealing venom from me and you still don’t care about it. it doesn’t affect you and yet this is our livelihood, my dear sister, and yet you don’t cherish or show any interest in it!” there he goes again, back on his stupid bullshit verbal rampage about his mankind project. “you say livelihood as if i don’t have my dream job that i love and have enough money to get by on my own plus get other oddities.” y/n bit back as she stretched her back out, having been uncomfortable in the position she had been slightly hunched over in.

“don’t get cocky now, y/n, just be a good sister and listen. i’ve taken care of you my entire life and you don’t get to cheapen that, okay?” colton explained as he placed a gentle hand upon his sister’s cheek, trying to be sympathetic as he assumed she was only fighting back with her words due to being drained from her dream job that she’s talked about since childhood. “oh fuck off, colton.” the woman replied forcibly taking her brother’s hand away from her face and then waved her goodbyes to the symbiote in the tube before she walked out of the lab, her brother’s voice raising with each step she took.

nearly a half an hour later, luckily having gotten through the lots of traffic faster than anticipated, she had found herself inside of the convenience store where mrs. chen worked during the night. a simple “oh sweetheart, there you are!” had rung out with perfect timing of the bell as she stepped inside, mrs. chen had greeted her inside with a sense of relief. “now why do i sense some relief in that mrs. c?” the (h/c) haired woman questioned as she moved to grab some of her favorite snacks that she would share with venom and eddie once she got home. all she could affectionately think of was, please please please don’t embarrass me motherfucker, as she awaited the words that her dear older friend would say which more than likely had something to do with her boyfriends.

the older dark haired woman chuckled softly as y/n made her way up to the counter with all her snacks. “oh no worries sweetheart, the two idiots were just going on and on about how they love you. i’m guessing there might be a ring in your future from the sounds of it.” mrs. chen explained as she finished ringing up the snacks and placed them in a bag. the (h/c) haired woman shook her head affectionately at the woman’s words knowing that they didn’t need a ring to be married, in fact the three of them already considered themselves married, but she knew the woman would still lovingly pester them about it. “i’ll see you later, māma.” y/n chuckled softly as she saw the woman pause at the loving nickname as she grabbed her bag and placed a twenty upon the counter, ready to leave and head home to her beloveds.

[diazsdimples]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you to everyone who tagged me for Sunday and Tuesday, I've been really struggling with writing lately and it's been extremely disheartening but this morning I had A Singular Bean for Frostpunk AU and milked it for all it's worth! This snippet comes immediately after the Buck and Eddie POVs of being found in the cold. Please enjoy!

He suddenly feels responsible for their wellbeing, and maybe that’s why he refuses to leave the kid’s – Christopher’s – side until the rest of the team arrives, Eli carrying the heavy med kit on his back. “I’ll get the man, Eli check the kid,” Bobby instructs, sinking to his knees beside Buck. “What’s the story with them, Buck?” “I got here just a couple minutes before the guy passed out. Didn’t say his name but his kid is called Christopher. He looked super weak, a-and they’re both freezing.” Bobby and Eli share a look over Buck’s shoulder and Eli gets to work on Christopher, checking his vital signs and most importantly, his temperature. Bobby repeats the same process on the father, while Tommy and Sal rifle through the backpack on the sled, checking for any useful information on where they’d come from. “Found the guy’s papers, Cap,” says Sal, walking towards Bobby with a flimsy leaflet in his hand. “Say’s the guy’s called Edmundo Diaz, from Sector 126. He’s ex-military but his most recent job was in a sawmill, he might be useful.” “We don’t save people based on use, Sal,” Bobby responds, his eyes not leaving Edmundo as he speaks. “He’s damn cold, temp sitting around 90 and his heart rate and respiratory rate are a little more elevated than I’d like. Eli, how’s the kid?” “Looking fairly rough, Bobby, we’re going to have to hustle to get them back in time. His temp is at 91 so he’ll be looking at pretty severe hypothermia if we don’t warm him up soon.” Bobby sucks air through his teeth, clearly thinking hard. “We’re a good 16 hours out from the city, 17 or 18 with these two and their gear. Think they’ve got it in them to make it that long?” Eli makes a face. “I really don’t know, Cap. The kid, maybe, but the guy’s temp is a little too low for my liking. Maybe if we warmed them up a little, they’d have a better chance. Did Maddie say anything about being able get the snowmobile team out here?” Buck perks up at the mention of the snowmobiles. The team was sent out a day before Buck’s team was, off on a search for supplies a few hundred miles away but were always on call in case a rescue was needed. Getting them to help would cut their travel time almost in half, giving Christopher and Edmundo the precious hours needed to save their lives. “I- I could ride one back with the kid, if they didn’t want to spare a man, Bobby?” he asks hopefully. Sal snorts from his position by the sled. Buck’s love for the snowmobiles is no secret and Bobby’s spent many a mission patiently explaining why it wouldn’t be safe or necessary and otherwise spoiling Buck’s fun. However, this situation calls for haste and Buck is nothing if not an – ah – efficient driver. Bobby looks thoughtful, before standing up and brushing the snow off his pants. “I’ll give dispatch a call and see if she can reroute them to us,” he says, continuing quickly as he watches Buck light up, “but I will be driving. You need to look after the kid, okay?” Buck deflates a little, but something in him stirs as he turns to look at the little figure in the snow next to him. He’s so young, probably no older than 7, and Buck’s heart breaks for him. He’s too young to be experiencing the hardships of the Winter, too innocent to have to watch his father weaken as they journey to a safer home. It’s like a small fire has been kindled in the pit of Buck’s belly as he shuffles closer to the boy and snakes an arm under his neck and the other under his legs, pulling his tiny frame up so he’s in Buck’s lap. Buck is going to protect this boy with his life.

No pressure tagging @theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @tizniz @watchyourbuck @wikiangela @daffi-990 @thewolvesof1998 @pirrusstuff @cal-daisies-and-briars @kitteneddiediaz @spotsandsocks @jesuisici33 @rainbow-nerdss @wildlife4life @puppyboybuckley @smilingbuckley @disasterbuckdiaz @bucksbackwardcap @fortheloveofbuddie @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @buckbuckgoose @exhuastedpigeon @housewifebuck @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @elvensorceress @babytrapperdiaz @ci5mates @hermscat (let me know if you want to be added or removed from this)

[sweetkpopmusings]

minho coworker headcanons <3

a/n: how could i ever even describe how fond i am of minho ?? he is so silly and weird and i'd protect him at all costs <333 as my job has been less than desirable for a long time, these coworkers hcs bring me soooo much comfort, and i hope they provide the same kind of serotonin for you !! pics not mine~

content: fluff, nonidol!au | wc: 0.9k | warnings: none! | pairing: coworker!minho x gn!reader | requests: open

almost everyone in the office is scared of him

you two never crossed paths because you work in different departments, so the only things you knew about him were what coworkers told you

the first time you saw him was when you went into a quiet place in the office to watch some videos and take a mental break from work

he was hiding in that very place because he had been reprimanded by his supervisor for a project (his partner on it was the one who dropped the ball but just so happened to be “sick” that day) and minho needed to collect himself before going back to his desk

that’s how you caught the scariest guy in the office looking at pictures of his beloved cats

when he noticed you, he tried to play it cool and act annoyed, but you saw the tips of his ears turn red as he realized you saw him being super soft for his precious cats

reading the room, you asked “rough day?” and the genuine concern in your voice completely melted minho’s scary facade away

he scoffed, rolled his eyes, and answered “yeah. gotta love being someone else’s fall guy”

that sparked a conversation that included him showing off his cats to you, and you showing him the silly little videos you were watching to boost your mood 

slowly but surely, minho would seek you out whenever he wanted a friendly conversation 

you were the only person in the office he didn’t try to intimidate, and everyone else was in complete awe of this

especially when they saw you two doing word/logic puzzles at work during your breaks

he even bought one of those massive puzzle books so you two could use it

whenever your lunches didn’t line up, you’d leave each other teasing and/or encouraging notes in the margins of the pages 

that book became a conversational record between you two

he’d never admit it, but, sometimes, when minho was feeling sentimental, he’d look through old pages and laugh at how your notes got more and more ridiculous as you two got more and more comfortable with each other :,-)

you become the minho translator because you just know him so well uwu

like if you two are sitting together during a coffee break and a coworker asks about weekend plans, minho would give a vague answer about interdimensional travel

before your coworker’s brain goes into overdrive trying to decode the statement, you’d explain, “he’s going to the animated film festival this weekend”

your coworker nods and silently leaves after getting their coffee, completely unaware of the snort minho let out at your translation

minho, despite befriending you, does not let go of his scary persona

in fact, because he’s so fond of you, he’ll use it to protect you

if someone bad mouths your quality of work or makes a snide remark about you in general, minho responds in a way that gives them nightmares for weeks

he never tells you that he does that, but you do catch him smirking whenever one of the perpetrators is nicer to you in the office >:-)

he’s super supportive of you at work too !! 

he’s your number one advocate when it comes to asking for a raise, applying for a promotion, etc.

minho thinks you deserve the best, and he’ll fight tooth and nail himself to get that for you, even though he knows you are more than capable of achieving greatness yourself

he thinks so highly of your skills and talent, and he wants to make sure you recognize your own potential <3

if he’s feeling insecure or down because of work or poor interactions with coworkers, he’ll turn to you for support, even if he doesn’t directly admit that something’s bothering him 

he could make a joke like “ah, how’re you going to solve this crossword if i get fired?”

obviously, you’d know exactly what he means by that and say “if you’re getting fired, i’m quitting because firing such a smart and competent employee is a major red flag”

he’d tease, “wow,  you’re really dedicated to crossword puzzles”

you’d nod, and he’d smile softly because he knew that you were always going to be his rock at work, and he’s eternally grateful for that

minho is so selective with the people he lets close to him, and, since you passed the test, he wants you two to be close outside of the office too

it takes him a while to work up the courage to invite you to hangout after work

but, when he’s throwing a casual dinner party with his friends, he knows it’s the perfect time to see each other without being bound by work schedules

you of course accept his invitation, but you also admit you’re a little nervous to meet all his friends

minho reassures you by telling you that he, a perfect and extremely cool person, has curated an impeccable group of people, so you have nothing to be worried about

and he’s totally right because all of his friends are not only super funny and kind, but they also love you !!!

and, more importantly, soonie, doongie, and dori love you <3333

every single one of his friends exposes minho for talking about you constantly lmao

minho gives them death glares but they refuse to miss out on the opportunity to tease him <3

especially chan because he thinks it’s so cute that minho is trying to act cool to impress you <3

by the end of the night, minho’s smiling ear to ear because you mesh so well with his friend group :,,,,-)

you two reference funny moments from the dinner party the next time you meet at work, and you’re both just bubbling with happiness because you can’t believe how lucky you are to have met each other by chance in a quiet corner of the office on a random afternoon <333

[bitchin-beskar]

Hiii! If requests are open,could I get a fic with our fave blue tin can man paz!! Maybe an alor! Paz and teacher! Reader au where theyre crushing on each other and the children try to get them both together?? Lots of teasing and just general cuteness?? There's not enough paz content on here 😔

Also hope you enjoy your tripp!!! Safe journey 😊

hi!!!! requests will always be open lol, I just cannot promise I'll get to them in any reasonable length of time.

CASE IN POINT

whew. it's been a long ass time. and I am super duper sorry about that. writer's block combined with a AO3 author's note cursed life has really put a damper on me getting anything productive done in terms of my writing.

NO MORE

so this is more of a drabble/ramble than an actual fic, but if you like it, (or anyone else), I will gladly make it into an actual full-length fic!

also tagging @catsnkooks cause I promised I would

without further ado,

Alor!Paz x Teacher!Reader au...

The snickering of small children sent a shiver down your back on the best of days. As much as you loved your students, they were not exactly the easiest to handle when they got in a mischievous mood.

But there was something different about this snickering. It was less stifled, like they weren’t trying to hide their scheming and plotting from you. It also sounded far too giddy, like your precious students had already gotten away with whatever they’d been plotting.

Turning around from where you’d been inscribing the lesson on the board, you eyed your students who were all huddled in a group, their little beskar helmets clinking against each other.

“Hibir’ike,” you called, watching with no small amount of amusement as they all startled and jumped to attention, the blank faces of around a dozen tiny helmets honing in on your unmasked face. “I haven’t even explained the lesson yet and already my students are eagerly discussing the topic.”

Your tone made it clear that you knew they were discussing no such things, but they didn’t seem to quite catch that nuance.

“O-Oh, of course, Baji!” A youngling by the name of Atii chimed up. “We’re super excited-OOF, Denaar, don’t hit me!”

The togrutan boy next to her looked unapologetic, the set of his shouders stubbornly still. “We’re ready to learn, Baji!”

Your eyebrow quirked, and you watched as your students squirmed, but none of them broke under your stare.

Unusual.

But, you weren’t going to look a gift fathier in the mouth, and you had a group of very attentive students in front of you, so you proceeded to turn back around to begin the lesson.

Not even five minutes later, you understood just what exactly your scheming students had been up to.

A knock sounded at the doorway, before a truly humongous Mandalorian stepped through, having to duck slightly to avoid hitting his horned helmet against the top of the door. Your eyes widened, and butterflies began to swirl in your stomach. Still, you managed to keep your voice mostly even as you addressed him.

“Su cuy’gar, Alor Vizsla.”

The classroom was entirely silent, your students practically vibrating in their seats. The poor alor didn’t even have a chance to react to your greeting before a bell rung loudly. You started violently, pressing a hand over your rapidly beating heart. Almost as a unit, your students stood, bowed to the Alor, before quickly filing out of the classroom as they headed to the gym for their recreation hour.

You waited, but after a few moments passed with Alor Vizsla saying nothing at all, you once more broke the silence.

“What brings you to my classroom, Alor?”

The hulking figure jolted slightly, as though he hadn’t been expecting you to speak.

“A-Ah yes, Baji’alor’adiik Beviin. I received your message-?”

Blinking, you felt your features twist in confusion. “Message? I’ve sent you no messages, Alor. And please, Baji is perfectly fine.”

His helmet tilted to the side. “You are the Baji’alor’adiik here, yes?” He waited for your nod before continuing. “I assure you, the message came from your comm code. Is it possible someone hacked you, Baji Beviin?”

You were already circling your desk, picking up your comm to investigate. You couldn’t remember the last time it was out of your sight, so the thought of being hacked was alarming. You clicked through your messages quickly, not seeing anything sent to Alor Vizsla. Then, you checked your deleted messages.

There, hidden amonst the various spam messages was a message that clearly had been sent to Alor Vizsla. You clicked on it with shaking fingers. Had you sent him a message when you were tired and forgotten it? Dear maker, what embarassing things could you have said?

But when the message loaded, it was clear to you just how that message had been sent to Alor Vizsla.

You dropped the comm on your desk, and buried your face in your hands. Your face grew unbearably hot in embarassment and you couldn’t bear to look at the Alor.

Warm hands covered in smooth leather cupped your shoulders, gently guiding you until you were leaning against the edge of your desk. You miserably let him move you, prepared for the lecture about letting your students get ahold of personal comm devices that was sure to come. What if he’d been in the middle of something important? It was absolutely mortifying, and you weren’t sure you’d ever have the courage to face the Alor again.

But then, gentle fingers tucked under your chin, lifting your face until all you could see was his helmet. He was far closer than you’d been expecting, and your face had to tilt up quite a ways to be able to look at him.

“Why do you hide from me, mesh’la?”

All the air in your lungs rushed out in a single breath.

His fingers stayed firm on your chin, not letting you look away as he leaned in close.

“A-Alor-”

“Paz.”

You blinked.

“Say my name, cyare.”

Shame bubbled up in you. “B-but I’m n-not worthy, no one of import-”

A low growl interrupted your stuttered speech. “I am the Alor. What I say, goes.” He paused. “Say. my. name.”

It came out in a whisper, barely more than a breath on the wind, but with his helmet so close, there was no way he hadn’t heard you.

“Paz.”

A shaky exhale sounded through his modulator, and his free hand slid down from your shoulder to wrap around your waist. Gently, oh-so-gently, he leaned his horned helm against your forehead.

[krokusplays]

AAAAA i’m SO glad i managed to catch onto what you were doing!!! nothing gets to me as much as just seeing how much love an author puts into their stories. truly, i could feel how much love was put into this fic 🥹

i’m also super happy that i was right about my thoughts on the table, too! i didn’t wanna voice it since i thought i’d rambled on too much already HAHAHA! but on that! i like how the table was done slightly different— blade asks reader for help (as kindly as he can, even if he voices it more like a demand than a question). the cabinet door really was the start of his healing process 🥹! he fixed that himself with reader simply observing him.

but when he finally voices the need for assistance, it was like, okay, i do need help. and yours isn’t so bad, after all.

you can really see the way trust starts to build between them both. it’s so so heartwarming 😭

you can only do so much for someone, but it’s ultimately up to them to decide what to do with the care and help you extend to them. like i keep saying— you captured that fact so so beautifully!

i also can’t help but think how it’s so fitting for him lore wise; how he used to be a weaponsmith/craftsman :’))) so it makes a lot of sense for him to have a history with craftsmanship !

and on the topic of fitting! you translated the mara really well! i think the self-destructiveness of drugs and alcohol is as realistic as you can get in a modern-au. especially because once you really get in the shitter, it’s hard to get out of it. addiction is a serious problem.

you conveyed blade’s softness so so well, it really made me go, yes, this is why i love blade so much 🥹! you truly get it!! get him!! he’s for sure very rough around the edges, but he can truly be so sweet 😭!! even if he’s much more subtle about it.

and ahhh the kiss. the most precious little kiss 😭! i found it super appropriate too! it’s definitely more genuine than anything a kiss on the lips would have conveyed given their context. it’s such an innocent action, to be kissed on the forehead. it felt borderline apologetic. yes, it was a thank you, but it also felt like he was saying sorry 🥹! he truly can be so soft and considerate when he wants to be!! and reader finally getting to experience that side of him was so heartwarming

he’s still very much guarded. you don’t just get over someone like that, that’s a given. you don’t just get over alcoholism and drug addiction overnight.

but it’s a start, and that’s enough. he’ll get better. he just needed that little nudge in the right direction. a little reassurance of someone being there.

the final few parts of that chapter felt so rewarding reading it. AAAAAAAAAAA!!1!11!1!!1 IM SOBBING. this might just take the cake for my favourite modern fic i’m not even shitting you rn 😭

I'm also so glad someone caught onto that and even more so that you let me know about it 🥹

I enjoyed writing these parts so much. Writing about Blade doing something he's good at and something he enjoys doing felt so nice during writing 🥹

Idk how to explain it there was something so nice about writing Blade taking initiative like this after being so meh to the Reader. Especially just how much he took the initiative. He didn't take one look at it and gave up because there's no fixing that furniture, no, he took all these steps of going to the basement, collecting things he needed, eventually asking(or demanding lol) Reader for help, and he did it all one step at a time.

Idk it felt so much more rewarding writing this scene like this than having him go "here's everything I need, done, bye" 🙈

Yes, yes! Given his canon past I knew I wanted him to be crafty in this fic and since I knew I wanted to go with the cleaning idea from the beginning, the idea to use furniture to represent hist craftsmanship + mental state was almost an instant given then 🤭

I'm glad you think the substance abuse as a substitute for Mara in this AU was believable 🥹

Blade is in canon often misunderstood. When that car scene with him and Firefly got released, a lot of people were surprised how nice Blade was in it. Even though he's always been like that, it's just that he mostly showed up on screen when the Mara struck and he wasn't himself T_T

I really tried my best to build trust between Blade and the Reader slowly. I also knew from the beginning that I didn't want this to end with a super happy ending but more with a promise. That they took a step in the right direction, Blade did his first step, Reader is there to support him(and he knows that now), and with a lot of time there will be a happy ending eventually 🥹

I had so much fun with this fic 🥹 I must also say that it's rare that I had this much motivation and drive to sit down and write a fic. I wrote and edited those 14k words so fast 😂🙈

Man, I'm so happy to hear that 😭

Also a thank you to you for giving me a chance to ramble so much about this fic 🥹

[sketchehm]

thinking baby dedsafio au thoughts bc i need it injected in my soul but who are we thinking babynap calls dad first????

like i’m tempted to say shadoune bc while he loves all the mafia, shadoune through and through will alwaysssss be babynaps comfort person like that’s the man who gave him a chance and shared his family with him :(

and sapni being so embarrassed by it like “NO I DIDNT CALL U THAT STOP SHADOUNI PLS DONT TELL THE OTHERS”

meanwhile shadounes abt to start bawling his eyes out

the other mafia members being like ?????? WHAT ABT US?? WHAT R WE CHOPPED LIVER AROUND HERE???

cue comedic moments of them all trying to have a moment with babynap and win his affections so he can call them dad too, bc they’re not called tryhards for no reason (babynap gets soooooo many deditas!!!!!! he doesn’t know why but he knows he’s rich as heck and showing them off and bragging to sylvee is a MUST)

butttt the angst in me is thinking maybe he never got to call any of them by that???? maybe just as he was abt to grasp onto a moment to call them by that precious name that has been on the tip of his tongue since he’s met them, he’s met with eon instead who looks so sad??????? him spending years mourning the fact that he never got to tell them how much they meant to him and dedicates his training so that he could bring them back and finally tell them.

just for him to be around the same age as them when they reunite and hes all conflicted like???? these are my dads??? but we’re also the same age?????? and it’s all very sad and confusing

SO SO SO!!!! I did have thoughts about who baby sapnap would call dad first. MAINLY cause the guys do throw the word "papi" around a lot as just a meme and I feel like the baby would pick up the word and also just call things that too.

The thing is, I think it causes a lot of the guys early on to mini panic, the "oh god I can't be a father, I'm not ready for that!!??" Like yea they have this 5 yr old with them, but that 5yr old is working for his rent alright? (He's not) They break the habit of calling each other that cause they're just not Comfortable:tm: with being called dad yet pfft

I think Sapnap doesn't call anyone "papi" initially either, he just heard of one of the guys say it and he just repeated it, it makes everyone freeze. The reality check they all get. (The silent agreement to never use it again). Which makes sapnap EXTREMELY curious what that word means.

I think Sapnap would actually end up asking Peele what "papi" means (since the rest of them won't explain and Shadoune and Serpias don't give an answer that makes sense >:0!!!)

"Peele, what is papi?"

"Oh! Um. It is a father. Usually a male, but it is a person who takes care of you and loves you!"

"Ohhhh. You are my papi?"

Peele very rapidly stutters, well /no/. Peele is peele! And peele is a robot. Yup! (Fucking saved that one oh my god....)

Sapnap doesn't get it....

I don't think he gets it until Sylvee explains to him. And Sapnap very much gets >:0! 'I don't need one of those, I can do everything myself!! I'm a big boy who doesn't need that >:(!'

(Sylvee is just saying it's a big boy grown up who's not scared and can take care of themselves and is super brave pfft)

The baby will get huffy and puffy and approach the group one day and will say very proudly that he doesn't need a papi and that he's everyone else's papi cause he's brave and can do anything >:(!!!! Let's just say none of them take him seriously (they all laugh SO fucking hard and start teasing him that he's just a baby still pfft)

It's Shadoune scooping him up and throwing him in the air saying "what about meee? I give you everything you want, surely I can be papi yes?" And sapnap is laughing but screaming no still hehe Serpias will snatch him and give him all sorts of kisses and tickling saying "what about mee sapnii, I love you sooo much!!!" A very giggly sapnap still managing to throw the word no out there while trying to catch his breathe :3!!!!

(As time passes it'll turn into a competition on who can Sapnap calls dad first pfft peele will chime in saying they already won heh)

Sapnaps baby brain does not let go of the word though! It'll be close to his nap time, but Shadoune is making him a snack! He's eepy and slowly dozing off sitting at his custom made toddler table (the boys get bored). Shadoune serving him and a very sleepy sapnap going "gracis papi." His baby lisp in full effect.

Shadoune feeezes. Sapnap's baby brain goes into dial up.

"What did you say Sapni?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO"

Very much like you described, it's Sapnap begging his shadouni to NOT tell anyone!!! Shadouni is muy estupido!!! Sapnap is papi not Shadouni!! STOP LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT!!!!

Shadoune just hugging his baby and squeezing him and cheering!!! (He's also won SO many deditas from the other guys pfft) Sapnap accepting the cuddles...ONLY CAUSE HE'S TIRED!

but sapnap will not let go of shadoune once he sets him down for his nap. They'll be cuddling and sapnap will whisper very tiredly to him what Sylvee told him. Shadoune laughed and said that's only true sometimes. Shadoune will say that papa's get really scared when their babies get hurt. Sapnap will sleepily ponder.

Then he'll say "hmm....peele said....papi's take care and love you. You love Sapni?"

Shadoune will hug him so tight and say yes over and over.

The baby will be satisfied and before he sleeps he'll say "okay....you can be papi sometimes. I am papi other times. Cause I love you too..."

He's out by the time he finishes speaking.

Shadoune laughs to himself and feels his heart explode.

(After everyone realizes they can just bribe sapnap to call them variations of papi, papa, and pa, Sapnap realizes it's just a money machine and reports to sylvee with his updated findings. 'Dad's are people who give you lots of money!')

BUT LIKE THE ANGST OF IT. A barely 8yr old Sapnap saying bye bye to them. They all look so cool in their space suits and spaceships! He wishes he can come along >:T

Sylvee will tease him saying 'go say bye to your dads hehe' and Sapnap will grumble 'that's not it >:/ they're not my dads!!'.

But the guys all hug him and kiss and still pick him up and throw him around. He's so loved by them. He feels so loved by them.

And then they've left. And Sapnap will be left to ponder, Sylvee's words sticking with him. He guesses they are his dad. Peele's words from when he was a dumb little baby come back to him. 'Dad's take care of you and love you.' He guesses they are his dads...

They've all been working so hard to defeat the evil reviil, when they come back he's gonna give them the biggest hug and says he loves them sooo much!! And he's gonna call them dad :)!! He's resolved!! So excited with his idea. He knows they've been wanting him to call them that but he always thought it'd lead to more teasing, but now he knows that ain't it hehe

And he'll wait at the returning site. And wait. And wait. He's with sylvee and they're passing the time. So much time had passed he's told sylvee his plan, getting a lil nervous about it heh

Sylvee is actually very kind about it :> cheers him on, says it'll be the best present he's ever given them ("hey!" He'll exclaim!)

And they wait. Sylvee is getting tired so she sets up her bed to take a nap. But Sapnap doesn't wanna sleep.

Then it's an Eon appearing. Walking up to where the two are waiting, sylvee fast asleep.

Sapnap is told they aren't coming back. He doesn't get it. He has this big plan to enact, they have to come back.....they have to....

And when they meet again. Sapnap thinking how these men are his dads. How he's their age....but as soon as he locks eyes with Shadoune, seeing the same face he remembers from when he was baby. Nothing has changed since then, that's still his shadouni, remembering every single close and precious moment they've ever had.... He can't stop himself from running up to him and hugging him soo tight. Crying "mi papa, mi papa. Regresastes..." He just can't get himself to calm down, never ever wanting to let go. He's back. He's /back/.

[homuracar]

personal complaining rant about haikyuu and hypermasc fanart--because!!! speaking exaggeratedly for fun, and because i don't think anyone's reading

i just saw very very veryvery cute sakuushi art, right after seeing some haikyuu fanart that i really do not like... thing i've realized is i think i hated a lot of the haikyuu fandom so much because, a lot of the art was very masculine LOL. it'll depend on the fandom side ofcourse... and it's not like everyone drew it like that. but i was always stupid and crazyparticular sometimes. hypermasc depictions of characters, in haikyuu fandom i reaaaally hated it. especially because my favorite was ushijima (>_>) it was over. i didn't know how to explain it back then because i was a kid and totally disconnected from that thought, i decided it was because i didn't like my fav being sexualized(complete lie lmao)

a lot of haikyuu fandom sees the boys more as love interests in like, an otome game? or something. or potential husbands. which is fair, people can do what they want... i don't care... well i do care because i hate the drawings and i hate the depictions. but this is my own problem mostly, i didn't end up aligning with most of fan's views on it. ushijima isn't my husband... (gnaws hand) i wouldn't intrude like that... he wouldn't see me like that even if i wanted him to be my wife..... and i would pale in comparison to his other suitors(is now just crazed). not only that i don't align with their shipping views either?! if i was bored by most of the main pairs the fandom decided on when i first got into haikyuu, by now i basically hate them. fuck bokuaka and fuck that one fanfic. (seethe) well actually the ship is fine, most ships are fine or would be fine if i didn't think a lot of the fanwork was atrocious about the characters lol. my art leans feminine, and most of my preferences does too. but i didn't Like the characters that fans decided was feminine like that. i didn't care for them, or i didn't even see them like that! maybe my view of what is fem/masc is a little too jumbled up, but i abide by it. fuck all of this. fuck you. and fuck ushioi. oiushi is fine. ushioi nearly made me dislike oikawa with it's sheer force. oikawa is fine actually he's funny. in fact ushijima and oikawa's relationship IS interesting... i just hate 90% of what i saw of it fanon-wise. sakuushi is precious to me, because gap moe is super. i never liked sakuatsu and i probably never will. i love atsumu but this is not where he should beee...(rolls around). it also made me despise mafia aus by instinct. im crazy but heta is kind of fresh air to me for this, so many cutesy art... so many fun art... and the source material goes with it too. if not outright cute then it's funny, which is cute itself! even if it's dark or weird it's still cute. and so much more ryona than i could ever dream of (Im So Happy). at least back then when i was more brain tied to haikyuu, there were the bunch of people who'd make more cute art. in english fandom, the cartoonish funny cuteness. i find easian fandoms get the characters down in a way i like much more most of the time tho lol. for some reason the jokes people pick up on are different? like you don't see obsessive fan shirabu in english fandom LOL. but seasian fandom does a lot of handsome ultramasc husbando haikyuu fanart(gnaws hand). that's not surprising... i know indonesians like manboobs... whatever idon't even care. i don't care. i don't.

i'm complaining so i might as well, but saddening to me when art of characters being feminine felt so limited. especially for the characters with more "masculine" bodytypes(fuck all of you). again my view of fem/masc is a little jumbled, or kind of weird so my words don't mean much here. but i never understood why characters were so limited by fans in it. if a ""masculine""(fuck you) character were to be given like, a dress, or feminine clothing, it'd be like, deliberately an outlier in some way. like for the "absurdity" of it... they'd never shut up about the absurdity too... i don't care if it's sexualization it's just really annoying to keep being like this guy is so masculine but he's wearing a dress!!! crazy right!!! look how annoyed he is scowling and jaw hard and muscles tense!!! don't you see how crazy masculine he is while in that dress!!!! i'll kill you all. characters flustered in dresses is cute. nobody understands. it's over. it's just strange to see, the only characters where anyone ever acknowledges their feminine traits are whoever people decide are twinks. the characters who isn't usually get focus on how dominant and masculine they are. No i think ushijima has feminine traits? fuck all of you. it's kind of my fault for preferring feminine things while falling in love with strong/big characters LOL. fml... not my fault the fandom's dearest chosen twinks are MID and not WIFE MATERIAL. i don't like twink atsumu miya actually but he's still a cute puppy. okay? fuck. can't we balance this out. can't a cute girlfriend who gets red in the face also work out and be professional athletes? can't tall fit girls faces get flushed confessing to you? do you hate me? why can't everyone be cute girls is it so wrong? look they're slice of life-ing isn't this so cute?!?! don't you agree that it's cute to see them eat meat buns in the snow and have puffs of breath show up?! i'll just yuribend them all. i guess

i say this but i also just never rly gravitate towards more petite or smaller characters. so. lol. and if they have a shy timid pathetic personality it makes me want to see them seme more... lol... the predicament. all the characters with aura is decided seme tch.... which makes sense... tch.. i guess... i'll accept that ame makes sense seme/uke(but i'd never ever let him or draw him seme don't get me wrong.) but i won't allow it for ushijima. im smiling at the sky. my girlfriends are so cu

but if you dig you can find fanart of them in super very cute artstyles! the core of haikyuu is volleyball fun after all. most of the time the characters behave very endearingly, rather than the super macho mafia bosses people are so insistent on. for the majority of it's runtime they're stupid teenage boys, and even after timeskip they're having good fun. they're happy and loving. i really can't stand a lot of the fanart. but if you find right you will find the best the cutest the sweetest. (my current heta twt used to be the acc i used scouring for cute haikyuu fanart and posting them LOL... i still follow some haikyuu accounts bcz of it)(korean sakuushi art!!! the absolute best!!!) ones that really understand haikyuu's cuteness. it's still a manga dear to my heart, even tho i'll avoid checking in the fandom 90% of the time.

[queer-in-a-cornfield]

🍄, 🔪, 🎨 for the truth or dare ask game

🍄: Share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I feel like Dewey and Wakko would have been the first to bond between the Warners and Ducks (assuming they’re in the same universe) but would’ve been the last to realize they actually like each other (also fun fact I crave Dewkko content sm yall but there’s almost nothing 😭)

🔪: What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

For my Rottmnt separated au I have had to Google many things such as “inside of a post office”. I’ve also made up multiple entire towns so I’ve spent a while researching for those as well. Nothing super weird though.

Scratch all that- I read the entire rigor mortis Wikipedia article once for a fic as well as asked my friend about how bad a concussion would be need to be to be fatal

🎨: Link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

Oh I’m so bad at picking favorites so I’m just gonna show off a couple of ones I really like

This one by @georgiarose, I love her artstyle, I love Huoyd, I love boba, and it gave me fic inspiration. All around lovely piece of art.

This one by @secret-tester is just instant dopamine, I love it so much. (You did so good redesigning them, thank you tester)

And this one by @rein-reeee . Gorgeous art and great message all in one 🇵🇸

[bobfloydsbabe]

helena, darling! can you please talk to me about the 101 dalmations au you're working on? or perhaps share a sneak peak? 💞🫧

Sofi, my love. So, full disclosure, I haven't written any part of an actual fic for this AU, but I do have some headcanons and ideas. I can't take all the credit because @withahappyrefrain was the one who brought it up on discord. I just sort of hijacked the idea. I'll share those HCs, though!

101 dalmations au (bob floyd)

➛ Bob’s walking his dog through a park when suddenly his otherwise relaxed Dalmatian pulls at his leash, taking off in a wild run. ➛ Spoticus Spectacles III has spotted a lady Dalmatian that he is taken with and drags poor Bob along, who thinks his precious pup has taken an interest in chasing birds out of nowhere ➛ Instead Bob collides with the most breathtaking woman he’s ever seen as their dogs’ leashes get tangled and it trips them up, sending them falling to the ground. ➛ The woman lands on top of him and Bob is speechless. She’s pretty and warm and so enticing. Once he’s able, he stutters a reply, trying to explain what happened. ➛ (It takes a moment for him to open his eyes. His glasses are askew, his hair a little ruffled, cheeks flushed. She’s pretty and mere inches away from him) ➛ She laughs and it’s the sweetest sound he’s ever heard. Spoticus Spectacles III comes and licks both their faces, breaking the tension and forcing them to get up.  ➛ Bob awkwardly offers to buy her coffee to make up for the tumble to the ground. She says it’s not necessary, accidents happen, but our darling Bobby insists. ➛ She agrees because he’s cute and awkward and their dogs clearly like each other. ➛ Her dog is named Dot/Dottie (thank you Abby @withahappyrefrain)

That's literally all I have, but I think it would be super cute and I do hope I find some time to write it eventually.

[sunlightandsuffering]

Just read a fic where this happens but it could fit very well in the size queen au or multiple au's tbh. But I love Mikasa having a very pure and innocent air around her, the good girl at school with perfect grades who stays away from drama and boy troubles. All her friends see her as the responsible friend who doesn't get blackout drunk or have random flings with men like some of them do.

Until one day when she's hanging out with them and her phone gets a notification and one of her friends picks it up for her and they're greeted with an absolutely filthy photo of Mikasa. Whether it's Mikasa with Eren's massive cock resting on her face like that other ask mentioned. Or Mikasa's face covered in cum after he gave her a facial, or her mouth wide open and full with cum before he gave her permission to swallow. The possibilities for dirty pics are endless but I think Eren is def the type to take pics as a point of pride and also to use when she's not around and sends them to her as a way of convincing her to come over when he's horny.

But Mikasa is mortified when her friends see this. Quickly snatching her phone back and turning bright red as her friends excitedly tease her about it and try to get details out of her. They never knew their precious lil Mikasa was even seeing a guy let alone fucking around with a hunk with such a massive cock. Teasing that they never expected her to be the type of girl who's a size queen and into bigger men in every sense of the world.

The whole time Mikasa is just squirming and trying to change the subject. Next time she sees Eren she's super pouty and grumpy with him, hitting him a lot and he has to give her lots of cuddles and eat her out before she's willing to forgive him for the embarrassment.

K help I kinda love it!!! I just love innocent to kinky cool girl Mika tho lmfao, like her having this secret double life ! YES "Miks, your phone is buzzing," Sasha tells her from the couch where she's lounging while Mikasa plays the new Zelda game, running around the open world aimlessly. She hums from her perch at the bottom fo the couch, "Who is it?"

She hears the tell-tale click of her phone unlocking, and awaits Sasha's answer but all she hears is a shocked gasp from her friend. After a moment of no response, Mikasa finishes killing an enemy skulltula and turns to Sasha impatiently, "Who is it?" Sasha has gone bright red, her eyes avoiding her own, her only answer to hold the phone up to expose a rather explicit photo of Mikasa.

A hot wave of embarrassment overcomes her as she snatches the phone from her friend, her cheeks heating up rapidly because it really is an explicit photo. She's mortified, she never thought her friend would see this picture, out of all of the ones he could have sent it had to be this one?? It's her, smiling up at the camera dopily, covered in thick white lines of cum Eren's dick stretched across her face, it's her boyfriend's most prized photo and Mikasa winces as she looks back up to Sasha. "Umm, so you gonna tell me who Eren is?" Mikasa chokes on a laugh, "I umm, that's my boyfriend, he's kind of a perv." "WHAT?"

Mikasa sighs, so much for keeping him secret.

As Sasha marvels over the fact that she is not in fact single MIkasa sends him an angry text, there will be no coochie for him today! She is not going over to his place to re-enact the picture after Sasha's gone.

Eren responds with sad face emojis and an eggplant and Mikasa is left to explain to Sasha that in her downtime she moonlights in Eren's words as his 'dirty little whore' and that yes, she has in fact taken the monster shlong in the picture inside of her, does it regularly actually.

[pebblysand]

[books of 2022]

this is long overdue (i mean, it's april, but sure look) but i wanted to hop on here and do a little bit of a wrap-up of the books i read last year. i will say this: i am not (at the moment) a "voracious" reader. since the pandemic, i've struggled to find time to read - partly because i used to read whilst traveling, and i didn't do much of that in the past few years, and partly because i've been writing a lot, and i've always found it hard to do both at the same time. i must admit i find the #booktok girlies who read hundreds of books a year particularly unrelatable, but i did get through ten books last year (and DNF-ed three) so, i'll happily talk about those.

READ:

enfant de salaud by sorj chalandon (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: this isn't in english i know no one on here will read it, but sorj chalandon is and will always be one of my favourite writers in the world, and honestly the only french writer whose books i actually read voluntarily. i think what i like about sorj chalandon is that he's not only a fantastic fiction writer (his style - omg! his style ❤️), he's also a war reporter. as such, there's always a lot of "wars" in his books, either figurative or literal, which is obviously a topic i find incredibly interesting. this book is set in the 80s and centres on a reporter who is covering the klaus barbie trial in france, as well as coming to terms with his relationship with his father, who is a pathological liar. i really liked both aspects of the book. the klaus barbie trial story gave me a lot of food for thought for castles at a time when i was planning/writing the wizarding war trials, and the personal story was super interesting. i gave this a four-star because it's not my favourite book of his (retour a killybegs is) but i thoroughly enjoyed this.

au guet-apens by maître mô (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [non-fiction]: another french book (sorry ^^) but this one was probably my favourite read of 2022. it made me laugh, it made me cry. maître mô was a french lawyer specialising in criminal law who got somewhat "twitter famous" in the 2010s for talking about the reality of his criminal law practice (the good, the bad, the ugly) - always with a lot of empathy, humour, and humanity. he passed away from lung cancer in 2020 and a compilation of his best blog (he also had a blog) posts was published, and i was very glad to be able to read it. there are so many funny and tragic human stories in there, and a beauty in the idea that everyone (yes everyone) is owed a criminal defence. i would so very much recommend it to anyone who has ever wanted to ask the question: 'how can you defend them?' the writing is gorgeous and i think it's the kind of book that strangely gives you faith in humanity again.

men explain things to me by rebecca solnit (⭐️) [non-fiction]: i hated this book so much i wrote a tumblr rant about it. i'm still angry i wasted my precious time skimming through it until the end. i refuse to give it another minute of my time. the one star is for the quality of the paper it was printed on.

none of this is serious by catherine prasifka (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: i picked this up in the shop a bit at random, but i really, really liked this book. it's a bit of a concept (the main character never speaks out loud, all you ever get is her internal monologue), but it's a concept that works. it also tackles very well that awkward time between finishing university and getting your first job, and how powerless and scary it all feels. minor tw for sexual assault there, but i truly enjoyed this. the writing style was very much my jam (present tense and not trying too hard) and again, i really loved the concept. i do feel like it could have done without the sci-fi element but i liked how chronically online the main character was (#relatable). i loved how there's just so much talk around her, and while you always know what she thinks, you never know what she actually says. would definitely recommend!

we had to remove this post by hanna bervoets (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: i've spoken about this book on here a lot already but again, i really, really loved it. this was probably my runner-up favourite, the only thing i have against it is that it felt Too Damn Short. broadly, the book is about the tech world and particularly the job of content moderators, which is a massive ethical can of worms. as someone who works in tech and in the "trust and safety" space (although i've never worked in content moderation myself), i found the book very faithful to reality, very well-researched, and deeply fascinating. the characters are incredible and the end twist was... a twist, to say the least. absolutely loved this.

an american marriage by tayari jones (⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: it took me three years to finally finish this book. i should have DNF-ed it. i kept picking it up and putting it back down again. i think i stuck with it because everyone said it was an Important Book about the mass incarceration of black people in america, but honestly, it wasn't really a book about that. it's a book about three people who are all equally unbearable and cannot make decisions to save their lives, and the fact that one of them happens to be in prison for a crime he didn't commit is, frankly, secondary. i really want to read a good book about racial issues in america, particularly regarding the justice system (if anyone has recs, please hit me up!) but this was not it.

bullshit jobs by david graeber (⭐️⭐️⭐️) [non-fiction]: this was both incredibly funny and incredibly triggering. really makes you realise how much of the corporate world is just bullshit, and i definitely include my own job in this category. most of us just serve zero purpose lol. that man is dead right. giving this three stars because while fine, the writing wasn't mind-blowing, but honestly, i'm glad i read this.

vox by christina dalcher (⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: like, idk. this was fine. i read this on the beach and had a good time. the romance was a bit nonsensical and the end a bit "blah" but i liked the premise. basically follows the life of a woman in a society where women are limited to saying 100 words a day. it was trying a bit too hard to surf on the handmaid's tale mania in the same way we had all these vampire books after twilight, but still, it was good. a fine summer beach read.

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: everyone and their cousin has read this book and recommended it so i'm not going to reinvent the wheel. i promise, it is a great read. i very much enjoyed it. someone sent me an ask about it a few months ago, in which i shared a few more thoughts, if you want to head over there to find out more.

station eleven by emily st john mandel (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: this is a fantastic book. it's a masterpiece. it also fucked up with my mental health so badly i considered going to therapy again and totally messed with my brain for months. i think i'm on the tail end of it now. but, if you're an artist who has anxiety about dying before you manage to finish whatever it is you're working on, don't read this. honestly.

DID NOT FINISH:

i had a whole period of my life where i thought I Must Finish All Books, but that is no more. as that fake german heiress said: 'i do not have time for this, i do not have time for you'.

a brief history of the future by stephen clarke: it pains me to say because i really loved the merde series, but i've been dragging this book around for years, trying to finish it, and i think it's time to say goodbye. i just couldn't even tell you what the plot is, or what the point of the whole teleportation machine was... i'm just ... confused. i suppose one cannot write great books 100% of the time.

1984 by george orwell: look, i tried. but i think the issue with this book is that while it was the first in its genre, it was far from the last, and as a result of having read a lot of the dystopia that came after it, this just felt boring and stilted. the misogyny is also rather off-putting. i have read 100 pages and that was sufficient.

la peste (the plague) by albert camus: fuck, i love camus. i really, really do. the stranger is the only book that was assigned to me in school that i actually read. and, having now lived through a pandemic, la peste is strangely prescient. probably too prescient. i think the reason why i gave up on this is because 1) i "read" it as an audiobook and i think i'm just not an audiobook person and 2) i started this in the middle of the pandemic and it was just too much. the bubonic plague lockdown in the middle of the covid lockdown was hard to handle. so i just stopped listening to this on my walks and began listening to music instead. i don't think it's abandoned forever (i'll probably pick it up in book format again some day) but at the moment i just can't lol. no need to repeat the station eleven experience lol.

[phlebaswrites]

WIP Tag Game

Thanks @kalira for the tag!

Rules

In a new post of your own, reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. Let others ask questions about the ones that interest them and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit!

As will surprise no one whose talked to me for more than a minute, the list of my WIPs is insanely long, so I'm putting it under a cut!

Also, I will not be tagging as many people as I have WIPs - that's just Too Many People - but no-pressure tags for @dark-elf-writes, @maphel-n-doodles, @fiyasgideon, @tarutaruga, @devotedanarchy, @writhingbeneathyou, @artbythedarkside, @momo-ceros, @shinigami-mine, @woofgang69, @heyitswrenn, @longliveustherecklessandthebrave, @hellotheremaryrose, @silverutahraptor, @good-grievance

And please do ask about anything that sparks interest, though - I always love to talk about my WIPs!

I organise my WIPs by my series and then all other stories by pairing, so that's how they're listed here.

Courting Culture Confusion

Konohans Crash - the shinobi space race

Akatsuki Adventures - the last story in the series (I hope)

Other Naruto Stories

Madara/Tobirama

Untitled Single mother Tobirama - based on an idea by Madlen_Fade and borrowed with permission, four different versions plotted, running the gamut from angst to crack romantic comedy, and every one with a different pairing!!!

Tobirama/Izuna

Untitled Seelie Winter vs Summer Court story - Izuna is the King of Summer in love with the General of the Winter Court - Tobirama

Untitled djinn story - Izuna is a djinn, Tobirama is the king’s son who owns the bottle

Untitled Izuna is a pipe fox story - Tobirama is his sorcerer

Death is Not the End - Tobirama and Izuna novel, first part on AO3, is complete until I add everything else…

Untitled Tobirama is the Prettiest Princess - Tobirama/Izuna Modern AU with fashion porn and shy transwoman Kurohime

Untitled Tobirama/Izuna enemies to lovers amnesiac speedrun - amnesiac!Tobirama

Untitled Tobirama/Izuna enemies to lovers amnesiac speedrun - amnesiac!Izuna

Untitled Pacific Rim fusion - Pilot!Izuna/Engineer!Tobirama

Hold Your Children Precious - In a world where the Senju and Uchiha don't hunt children, the Uchiha win. Tobirama learns what it means to be married for peace.

A Confusion of Weasels - Izuna’s summons are weasels. Omegaverse.

A World Without You - fusion with the Matrix

Untitled Swan Lake AU, based on Odile and Odette

Untitled Mahō Shōjo Founders AU - complete and utter CRACK

Hashirama/Madara

Untitled Madara is a Disney princess - 500 Kingdoms fusion

Untitled Hashirama is a Disney Princess - Based on Enchanted

Untitled Romeo and Juliet quote parody - utter crack

Untitled Romeo and Juliet cannon era crack style romantic comedy

Untitled Romeo and Juliet modern AU - Hashirama and Madara are actors playing Romeo and Juliet

Rite of Passage - In which the only way to become a ‘true Senju’ is to eat Uchiha. Not dark, crack comedy

Untitled Edo Tensi Fourth War - Hashirama accepts Madara’s invitation to dance

Untitled extremely NSFW comedy in which Hashirama has an enormous dick and that's why he wears hakama whenever he's not in battle

Untitled Magic Coffee Shop AU

Founders Polycules

Untitled Girl Genius fusion - Necromancer Tobirama, Mechanicsburg sparks Madara and Izuna (they’re Hetrodyne equivalents)

Untitled sequel to Snow White - Hashirama/Madara, Izuna/Tobirama, Hashirama/Madara/Izuna/Tobirama

Suffered from the Night - Gothic Horror in which the Uchiha are vampires and the Senju are monster hunters

Untitled Madara/Tobirama/Izuna not really unrequited love - three versions, all of which are based on this amazing comic by @kurakura0-0

Kisame/?

Untitled A/B/O Kisame & Samehada hit on an Omega - Long, Kisame/Mei romance

Untitled Itachi fucks his way through the Akatsuki modern AU - Kisame/Itachi romance, SUPER LONG, the Akatsuki are a D&D group, Naruto and Sasuke are their dungeon masters, it’s BANANAS

Untitled Kisame/Itachi story - Itachi is a geisha about to have his mizuage. Kisame is the shinobi who bought him.

Budgie Smugglers - Itachi/Kisame porn in the onsen

Bridge of Birds - a retelling of Orihime and Hikoboshi

Laugh and Live - a retelling of The Tsarevna who Would not Laugh

Untitled Samehada/Kisame/Itachi story about scenting

Untitled Comfort Sex Kisame - or Kisame fucks his way through the Akatsuki

Other Pairings

Things that Zetsu Gave (and Gained) - Zetsu redemption angst fest

Untitled Zabuza/Kisame/Mei home repair modern AU

Untitled Team Ro polycule - All of Team Ro is in love with Iruka, but they don’t know about each other. Their only guide on how to woo him is Icha Icha. Oh no.

Untitled Arabian Night AU - Sakura/Hinata, Naruto/Sasuke. Hinata is the queen in an arranged married to Naruto, but he doesn't love her. Her only solace is her handmaiden, Sakura.

Untitled Deidara/Sasori - Everyone thinks Deidara uses ‘danna’ sarcastically, and that’s just the way he likes it. Two versions, one happy and one sad

Untitled 1920s Mob Uchiha - Series based on the art of @good-grievance​

Untitled Senju Breathplay - Two versions - Hashirama/Tobirama and Tobirama/Tōka

Untitled Kisame/Itachi/Haku/Zabuza College AU

War of the Dōjutsu (Now Fight!) - Hashirama/Hikaku

Untitled Tobirama/Hikaku story - they bond over paperwork

Untitled series - four unrelated stories, all of them based on the music video Dude (Looks Like A Lady) by Aerosmith. Each one featuring a different founder.

Gen

Untitled Izuna is the heir - Gen, long and utterly violent mix of angst and crack

Untitled Modern High School AU - Gen, probably about 20K, pretty wholesome story about growing up, now with a Hashirama/Madara cat cafe sequel, a Mito/Tōka/Naori Much Ado About Nothing sequel, and a Tobirama/Izuna sequel

The Feeling of Falling - Kakashi is a self-insert into Naruto, Kakashi-centric Naruto/Inception crossover

Untitled Tajima and Mountains - Tajima named his kids after mountains. This is why.

Minecraft Madness - Obito and Zabuza are on the same Minecraft Server. It doesn’t go well.

Untitled Akatsuki run a restaurant Modern AU

Untitled cannon era story in which the Hatake have nine lives - an unholy mix of angst and crack

The Past Is a Foreign Country (they do things differently there) - metatextual commentary on cannon, similar to In All the World

A Clowder of Cats - A series in which the Uchiha are all cats

Ladybug, Ladybug, Fly Away Home - a series of stories about Fū being brought up by the Akatsuki

Les Misérables

Rapunzel Enrolas

27 Dresses AU

Other

All the Tropes in Asian Drama story

And… I think that’s everything.

It’s more than I thought, but less than I was dreading.

That’s good.

I think.

[artichow]

You know what I’m about to ask you

RyuGin!!!!

OOOOOUH BABY!!!!

hehehehee them :D

Ship It

I am mentally ill about them /pos

What made you ship it?

I... don't know,, can't think of a moment really, although that scene at the end of fury and gingka's little speech may have been a big sign :) what was that gingka :D Also I think like narratively the scene at the end of fusion where gingka catches ryuga while falling has done something to my brain forever, it is so precious and important to me like.... OUURGH my feelings about ryugin is very!!! arti. grhej can't find a better way to describe it, they are a specific idea of ship i have in my brain that i like as someone who is incredibly confused and lowkey scared of romantic relationships and dating in general, that's why to me they are both aroace (jus like me fr,,) and what they have?? complicated but also so simple somehow!! But honestly I think I liked this idea of ryugin pretty early into my rewatch but i was kind of scared voicing it at first because there can be really shitty interpretations of those characters and their dynamic. I also am a fellow ryuga enjoyer who lives in the magical land of delusion and canon rewrite so :')) that helps a lot. But they mean so much omg i love them so fucking much!! I hope I can write coherently about them because!!!!

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Omg so many things... I love how I think about them with the right song and it hits me right in the feels! I love how similar they are and also vastly different their upbringing (mainly hcs on ryuga's side but yk how it is) and destiny was. Like I'm still absolutely going feral over that post from last year I made about both of our first look of them in the show?? Tbf it's the second scene where we see Gingka but still,, where he's on top of a building seeing the whole sky above him, while when we first see ryuga outside of vague flashbacks or the opening, he's in a sort of coma in a weird coffin surrounded by machine? And the shots of their beys parallel each other?? Like gingka is holding pegasus, probably feeling comfort holding onto his companion and momento of his dad, of his village. Meanwhile Ryuga's hand is lose cause he's asleep but it seems L drago is wide awake and already feeding off of him, one was a bey given to Gingka with a heavy burden of a goal but representing hope and the other was stolen, in order to only bring destruction. I think their relationships to their bey evolving throughout the show is super interesting to compare (but that's also because I hc a lot of things about ryuga that aren't canon because sometimes i want to chew on canon and chug it in the "don't care" bin).

Okay I think I only gave one reason FUCK umm I like the similarities and differences in their designs a lot (scarf/coat, headband/crown, gloves/no gloves, rounder features/sharper). That's mostly to do with Mr Adachi's really cool designs but still I wanted to mention it.

I like the hope in it you know? Ryuga's such a broken person but he's also like,, in my au 14/15yo during fusion and still a kid during the series? And how he almost died at least once (i'm also counting fury because no he didnot i don't care) so young and all this time without any form of genuine care or love. Like I like thinking about him mainly because there's not much that can excuse his actions but it's so interesting too? Like i like explaining the path he takes after fusion. How he's stuck in a downward spiral, hungry for power still because to him power is the only way to feel safe and in control, never being used again. But that ultimately keeps him away from genuine connection still and it also drives him to an almost death and just makes him extra stupid during fury :D idk to me fury ryuga felt so much like character regression, they really saw his masters character and went "yeah but what if..." NYWAY I digrace. I like how they're both just kids and the moment Gingka remembers/realizes it during their final fight in fusion is the thing that saves the world, that for gingka to still be Gingka and to save beyblade, how can he not save this other kid in pain. It is in tune with his character but it's also such a huge accomplishment on his part? He went through so much, his friends, his village, his father got taken away because of Ryuga. It's not all because of Ryuga and Gingka probably knows that but still?? He absolutely hated his guts and for good reason too. But I find it just so!!!! I love the idea that despite it all, there can be love after all of that. However you define it, just compassion and understanding <3 It is so cheesy but maaaaannn what are we without the power of love. I just love ryugin so much, i always try very hard to not make it sound like i'm glossing over all the problems ryuga caused and the emotional and mental toll gingka suffered becaus it's here, but also I love to believe that Gingka is just such a beam of light and he truly empathize with people in general, and something in him will always reach out to Ryuga. And that moment when he stopped him from falling to his death is just so!! To me in my hcs and aus and everything it is just the thing that starts ryuga's growth and character developement, like yeah he's still a stupid guy with a lot of issues but he's going to try. At least in my book (i feel like i'm rambling about things that are so far from canon but whatever i'm vibing my brain is vibrating rn). I just keep thinking about that quote from the good place "the point is people improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don't" and i want to tear up a little.

okay i have a couple more i think that i can think of,, vhfdj this is getting so so long,, oopsie. Um anyway, I like to imagine Ryuga actually helps Gingka too (it's not all one sided i promise but look at this mess of a boy) especially in expressing his feelings and communicating, i feel like gingka would and just by nature still struggles with this but because they understand each other's intentions very well most of the time (and that's canon baby) ryuga helps pointing it out if that makes sense. I also love how they're both intelligent while very dumb at the same time like they maybe aren't beyblade geniuses like Yu but they understand that game so well and so quickly i love that a lot. And I like how they both acknowledge it and respect the other for it.

I like how I imagine them both being vagabonds in their young adult years (*cough* snufkin much *cough*) and valuing their time alone but also sharing adventures together and feeling very comfortable with the other and just vibing :)

It's so funny when i think about it like trying to simplify their dynamic in my head cause it's just: gingka to ryuga is the light, the guy that saved him, the thing that changed everything and he can never fully understands it frustrates him but he can't keep away very long evn though he thought he'd always belong in the dark. And Ryuga to Gingka is friend (extra plus edition) :) both so valid honestly gdfhjsdhj

I love that there is SO MUCH angst potential but also this ship just brings me a sense of peace and joy, like it's somehow cozy??? with these two in it?? but yeah :)

they both absolutely annoy and pester the crap out of each other <3 look at them they're so stupid >:) what is my life if every character in the world is not annoying and dunking on ryuga honestly

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

this has been such a long post holy shit and i feel like i still have stuff to say :') uuuh unpopular? I guess I hate most of the fanart i see of them unsurprisingly... But that's also just the pinterest side of the fandom like... between the straight up absolute weirdo stuff you never want to see ever again, the perpetual whitewashing of ryuga, the abusive/uncomfortable stuff you find it's just :') but again that's true of a lot of characters and ships in the fandom. Idk if me seeing them as aroace and in a more qpr relationship is unpopular, honestly I feel like we're just us two vibing in the ryugin sphere Hani ghfdjsk

btw now that i'm done writing this whole page i'm thinking "but honestly still i'm not really that big on shipping, i feel pretty normal about them even after putting this much effort into this silly ask :') Anywayy whatever the relationship nature is i just like these two characters a whole lot so yeah it's just such a wonderful dynamic and ship to think about <3

[tiggyloo]

Had a shockingly civil conversation with a seamoon shipper in pony town where they saw Ellie and wanted to "inform [me] that Sea Fairy is heavily implied to be sapphic"

So I explained x y z about my ships and how each one is different and I DO have a SF that's a lesbian (that's the one I ship with FQ) but I also have other AUs where she's different

And then we just started talking about ships in general. They really like Princess and Knight so I told them about that super cute pre-registration landmark that's the music box with Princess and Knight in it. I love that landmark it's precious

[chosonore]

infatuation

infatuation [noun. strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction]

pairing: kamo choso/f!reader

summary: in a spurt of recklessness, you hire an escort to help you learn about relationships and intimacy. what you didn't expect was to fall in love with him along the way. [part of the kamo escorts collab]

wordcount: 23.3k

content/warnings: escorts au, slow burn, language, smut!!!, fluff, soft dom!choso, reader is very oblivious and painfully awkward, awkward firsts, dry humping, handjobs, oral sex (m + f receiving), fingering, uh somewhat public sex, loss of virginity, oral fixation, praise kink, lowercase is intended [VERY VERY UNEDITED]

a/n: hello here it is and finally done!!! i've been sitting at this for a week straight now and while i'm not super happy with it, it would've been a shame to just throw it out tbh. writing improvement is a slow progress after all! i'm dedicating this to @sukirichi who always hyped me up while i was writing this, happily welcomed me to the collab and who always supports my writing and i really appreciate it. thank you, from the bottom of my heart! (argh i have so many cut scenes that i ran out of space for dividers, sorry! hope the reading flow still makes sense though)

"that's what you were so worried about?" nobara looked at you incredulously, as if you grew two heads and asked for her firstborn. "you were scared that guys don't like you because you've never dated anyone?"

you let out an embarrassed whine, pushing at her arm in an attempt to get her to shut up. it wasn't your fault that she jumped to (multiple and very wrong) conclusions when you'd called her and maki, asking them to meet up so you could ask for advice. even maki looked mildly amused, patting your head apologetically. you were well aware of how ridiculous your issue sounds - the topic of dating had always made you anxious. you came from a very wealthy family that always sheltered and protected you from everything. you were their precious little girl after all; your father would rather drop dead than have you mingle with people who didn't treat you well and didn't deserve you. they meant well and it had never been an issue until you moved out to attend university (your parents had acted like you were leaving to travel the world and would never return, when really, you only moved two hours away from home).

even though nobara, maki and you had quickly become friends after you'd met at an event, you were wary to tell them about your background. it worried you, knowing how some people would treat you differently just to get on your good side and use you, so you opted to skirt around it as much as possible. it took you months until you opened up to them when you finally mustered up enough courage and trust to do so. they kept your secrets ever since, always protecting you and looking out for you. you were truly glad to be their friend. the two of them had grown suspicious when you kept declining their invites to join them for parties or to simply go to a bar and you were slowly starting to feel more and more guilty until you couldn't take it anymore and just confessed, asking them for advice.

"so that's why you're nervous even around inumaki," nobara concluded, propping her chin up in thought. "i didn't think your parents would be this protective. do they know that you want to start dating now?"

"no…" you confessed, fidgeting in your seat. "my dad, he um- he means well and usually has a good radar when he says that a guy doesn't deserve me. but i thought it was time to venture out on my own. it's good to have some experience, right?"

"i mean you're not wrong but i don't want you to be asking for advice simply because you feel pressured about dating since everyone else is doing it," maki retorted, giving you a concerned look.

you quickly shook your head. it wasn't that you felt pressured about not having any experience yet. you didn't necessarily want to admit to them that you were a hopeless romantic and liked the idea of being with someone; in the end, it was your own decision to venture. men made you nervous, you didn't know how to act around them and the thought of approaching a stranger by yourself was too scary. maybe it was a better idea to find someone to show you the ropes first, you felt embarrassed about your lack of knowledge and skills and - it wouldn't hurt to have some kind of dating training, right?

"i mean, technically, you could just ask one of the guys to take you out on a fake date. i'm sure megumi wouldn't mind," nobara was already pulling out her phone, making you grabbing her hand in panic and furiously shaking your head.

"i don't want to get them involved in this! it would make things pretty awkward and that's the last thing i would want. isn't there any other solution?" you explained quietly, playing with the hem of the dress. you felt bad for rejecting all their suggestions but you simply didn't want to be a burden to your other friends either.

"well," nobara and maki looked at each other grinning. "you could hire a fake boyfriend."

"really? you can hire tho-"

"escorts, y/n, escorts," nobara pushed her phone over to you, pointing on the screen. frowning, you read the little description. kamo escorts. you'd never thought about hiring someone, let alone knew enough about the topic. judging from nobara's face, she seemed to be well versed and it made you slightly suspicious.

"it's the easiest way for you and you have enough money to pay for their service. it's convenient, you can adjust it to your schedule and they'll send someone who fits your preferences. you choose the spot for your date and they'll make it happen, right? it's perfect and you don't have to worry about getting anyone involved," she explained, tapping at the bottom of the screen. "just give them a call, they'll walk you through the entire process. if you don't like it, you can find someone else or just abort mission."

"what do you mean they'll send someone who fits my preferences?" it did sound like an easy process, almost too easy. something was bound to go wrong, you could feel it. "i don't even know what my preferences are, so how could they possibly-"

"y/n, you might be blind but we are not," maki flicked your forehead playfully, she was more perceptive than you. "if you want, you can call them right now and we'll help you with the preferences, okay? maybe that'll ease your nerves a little."

"now?" you squeaked, eyes widening in horror. you weren't prepared at all; when you invited them over you were only planning to gather advice and then act on it.

"yeah! come on, it'll be fun and it's not like they can see your face," nobara grinned and was already dialing the number, moving away from you agilely before you could snatch the phone out of her hands. you wanted the earth to swallow you, why did they think that this was a good id-

"good evening, thank you for calling kamo escorts. my name is ijichi, how may i help you?" a male voice sounded from the phone, you instinctively dove behind the couch but maki was quicker and pulled you back with one fluid motion. curse her strength and speed.

"yes, hi, my friend here would like to hire an escort but she's too shy to do so, so we're helping her with the entire process. i hope you don't mind?"

"if it helps to ease the nerves, not at all."

nobars nudged you, holding the phone out. you pouted at her, shaking your head like a stubborn child. she rolled her eyes and pushed the phone into your hand forcefully, making you panic as you didn't want ijichi hearing your wrangling.

"um, yes, i- i'd like to hire someone but- ah nobara already mentioned that! it's for… for dates! i just need someone to go on dates with me."

"i see. is this a formal event?"

"n-no! i just need dating training of sorts, so casual is fine… if i do need to attend a formal event in the future, would that be a problem?"

"not at all, simply let us know when booking. our escorts are trained to be able to adapt to any situation and event, there is nothing you need to worry about, miss. do you have any specific preferences?"

"uh i-"

nobara leaned over your shoulder. "she prefers more mature guys! someone who's caring and attentive, someone who's not too outgoing and loud, it has to match her energy! since this is date training, there's probably going to be a lot of awkwardness so we'll need someone who is patient too. someone who can act like the best boyfriend to ever boyfriend. as for looks, i think she's fine with everything- although wait, maybe dark hair. yep, dark hair."

you couldn't believe her, she practically directed the entire call for you as if she'd made a plan beforehand, knowing that it would come to this. there was no doubt that she'd had this in mind, this was nobara after all. maki, on other hand, was watching you amused; she didn't usually engage in whatever shenanigans nobara was up to but she was always a bystander who very much enjoyed your reaction just now.

"miss, do you agree with the listed preferences?" ijichi asked after a moment of silence. you could hear him typing and occasionally scribbling on paper.

"yeah, yes, that's fine. is it possible to book him on weekends? i don't know if this is going to work out just yet so maybe once a week on fridays? i've never done this before so yeah."

"that is doable, yes. if you wish to engage in sexual relations, you may discuss it with your escort. these services come at an additional cost, of course."

"i don't-"

nobara interrupts you again, smirking at you cheekily. "it would be beneficial, so please take that into consideration when choosing the escort!"

"alright, thank you," ijichi went silent for a minute while he was organizing the files and schedules. "there are some possible candidates with whom i have to check with first. i will get back to you, should they agree to the job. after that we can exchange personal information and contacts so we can discuss the matter further."

"okay um. thank you, mr ijichi, i appreciate your help," you thanked him bashfully, giving him your number before thanking him again. you were already so deep in thought that you didn't even listen to his reply. now you've really gone and done it. were you crazy? what if your parents found out? they'd riot and be immensely disappointed in you. getting some dating experience through dating an escort, only nobara could ever come up with something like this.

"how do you feel?" maki inquired and rubbed your shoulders in concern, seeing how quiet you suddenly grew. weakly shrugging with your shoulders, you grasped the fabric of your shirt and nervously fiddled with it. the entire ordeal filled you with anxiety, a myriad of thoughts circling in your brain. it was the first time doing something "reckless" and it left you feeling nauseous.

"i'm not sure." you hesitated. "i'm curious to see how it goes but it just makes me really nervous. how do i act around him? and what if he finds me weird?"

"i don't think he's going to think you're weird just because you get nervous around guys. and besides, ijichi said he'd find the perfect guy for you, yeah? don't worry about it too much. if you don't feel comfortable after the first date, we'll figure something out."

"i guess so… um, but you guys don't mind accompanying me to it? just to make sure it's not some weird guy?" upon seeing your hopeful face, the two girls couldn't say no - of course not, you were their precious, innocent friend. as amusing as this situation was to them, they wanted nothing more than to support you and see you happy as well. you had already done a tiny step out of your little, sheltered world and much more was to come.

the ring of your phone nearly scared you to death, making you drop the book you were holding. quietly cursing, you picked it up and placed it on the table before answering the phone. who was even calling you at this time? everyone knew you were busy in the evening, slaving away on your assignments. it must be really important to interrupt your workflow like this- you almost dropped your phone in shock when you recognized ijichi's voice on the other side. admittedly, you forgot about the entire ordeal and didn't expect him to get back to you so soon. "good evening, ms y/n. i'm calling you regarding your inquiry so we can finalize all the details."

"u- uhm yes! thank you for calling!"

although ijichi was kind and patient, you were still nervous as you scribbled the details on a piece of paper. your escort's name was choso, he was a few years older than you and his schedule was very flexible. there wasn't more info, ijichi had announced that choso would call you as soon as possible. dread filled your stomach - it was nerve wracking to meet new people, not to mention someone you hired to be your fake boyfriend for the day. and now that you knew he was calling, all focus and concentration was thrown out the window. silently, you sat at the table and stared at your phone, waiting for the screen to light up. maki and nobara didn't need to know about this new development just yet as you wanted to navigate this on your own before telling them.

not too long after, your phone rang again, an unknown number flashing across the screen. it had to be him. even though you mentally prepared yourself for minutes, the anxiety came back full force. with trembling hands, you picked up, holding your breath as you waited for an answer. a deep, rather dulcet voice greeted you from the other side. you liked the sound of his voice, it almost put you at ease if it wasn't for your mind that constantly reminded you what was going on. you hastily introduced yourself to him and told him why you were requesting his services. the entire time, he was silent and let you speak - although you appreciated that he didn't interrupt you, every second that was passed in silence agonized you.

"hello y/n, my name is choso and i'll be your escort for the time being. ijichi told me you were looking for someone to pose as your fake boyfriend?"

"ah, uh yes sort of! i don't… have any experience when it comes to boyfriends and that kind of stuff. and i- i just wanted to learn what it's like to d- date and- and," your voice got smaller and smaller, until it was a mere whisper that was filled with all kinds of embarrassment that you felt. you couldn't help it, hopefully choso was still able to decipher what you were explaining. "you know, k- kissing and all that stuff. i've never done it with anyone before."

"i see," choso paused for a second, making your heart race. "i can't say i've had this situation before but i'm confident in my skills to guide you through this. before we first meet, let's set some boundaries so you feel comfortable at all times, okay?"

you hummed and nodded, although he couldn't see you over the phone. choso sounded like what nobara had described your ideal type - ijichi really had delivered and chosen the best possible match. choso knew what to say and how to steer the conversation in such a way that it didn't make you feel helpless or anxious. and you, in turn, felt like you could trust him with this issue.

"y- yes! uhm when i first called ijichi, a friend of mine helped me with the process and requested someone who was comfortable with sexual relations but… uh, to be honest, i never thought of requesting them. i'm not entirely sure if i want to do it either… i want to approach this in a slow manner, as slow as possible."

"alright, i can work with that. as for our first meeting, have you picked a time and location?"

you sighed in relief. choso seemed like a really nice and understanding person, leaving most of the options up to you. you knew it was part of his job but it felt nice to know that he was so forthcoming and accommodating. for the first date, you’d chosen a nice restaurant that had good reviews and little private booths. even though there was no way your father would ever magically appear and find out about your escapades, you were still trying to be secretive and cautious. the restaurant was situated in a widespread estate with beautiful gardens, the perfect spot to take stroll after dinner. in all the romance books you’d consumed, these type of dates seemed to be very popular - you thought to yourself why not? as you discussed your plans with him, you briefly wondered what he looked like. it felt weird asking him about it and you'd meet him soon anyways. maybe he looked like what you thought his personality was - like a prince charming? the prince that your dad had always assured you would come along. a small giggle left your lips at the thought of it; it was silly to believe it would turn out to be the love of your life. though it made you giddy thinking of your prince charming.

“is everything okay?”

“ah sorry, everything’s fine! i just had a silly thought a moment ago, that’s all,” reassuring choso quickly, you rubbed your cheeks in embarrassment. he must’ve thought that you were going crazy. “anyways, thank you for um, everything. i feel more comfortable now that i’ve discussed the details with you, thank you for being so patient. i look forward to meeting you!”

on the other end, choso hesitated, startled by your sudden enthusiasm when you were rather shy and timid before. it seemed that you were willing to open up a little more. he was curious himself, never having dealt with such a case before. usually, only experienced people who were looking for eye candy to accompany them to fancy events would hire him. he couldn’t imagine what you were like before meeting - it was nicer to get to know you in person after all, for the sake of a date setting. still, how were you able to afford the services? considering you were most likely a college student, he couldn’t fathom what lengths you went just to gain some experience. though he supposed, he shouldn’t judge you too quickly.

“i look forward to meeting you as well. see you on saturday, y/n.”

for hours you’d gone back and forth between outfits - casual? or more cute? maybe a mix of both? maki wasn’t much of a help either, mostly just giving you a thumbs up for every outfit while nobara had something to criticize about every outfit. you sighed, tossing yet another shirt onto the heaping pile of clothes. it was hard trying to impress someone that you didn’t know. the last item on your list was a simple, flowy dress and it seemed to be the best fit. you didn’t want to agonize over the choices any longer, seeing that the date was inching closer and closer. maki looked like she was bored out of her mind as well, scrolling through her phone as she was lounging on your couch with nobara. “are you sure you’ll be fine?” maki questioned you again. she was relieved about your good mood, how you were less apprehensive about the entire ordeal. when you first told them about choso after the phone call, you sounded slightly excited and were gushing about how nice he had been. you were hopeful that you could learn a lot from him. however, maki couldn’t help but worry about you, constantly making sure you were feeling okay.

“i’m sure i’ll be fine, don’t worry! we agreed to just have dinner today and let me test the waters… we’re really just doing whatever i feel comfortable doing for now,” you explained to the two of them, smoothing out the dress before grabbing your bag. “so yeah, i’m ready, i think. i mean if anything was to happen, i’ll let you know right away. i really have to go now though, you guys coming?”

nobara made a noise of protest, not wanting to get up from your bed which promptly earned her a nudge from maki. you giggled at your friend’s antics, grasping her arm to pull her up. as lighthearted and happy as you acted, you tried to hide your nervousness in front of your friends. worrying them did no good. as the three of you made your way to the restaurant, you checked your phone to see a text message from choso who asked to meet you in front of the building. you agreed, telling him that you would be there soon. the phone pinged again, choso had sent you a simple smiley. it made you grin a little, earning a suggestive glance from nobara whom you gently shoved.

"text us if anything happens, yeah? we can also pick you up afterwards so don't worry about it," maki reminded you again as you rounded the corner of the street, stopping mere meters in front of the restaurant so you could say goodbye to them. again, you reassured them that you would do as they suggested. you would be fine, because after all, choso was a professional. waving at your friends’ retreating figures, you slowly walked towards the entrance and let your eyes wander. the streets were busy, you couldn’t immediately make out anyone who was waiting in front of the restaurant. not that you really knew what choso looked like, you just hoped your search wouldn’t get more difficult with people waiting in the front. glancing at your reflection on the windows of a parking car, you made sure that you looked presentable and approachable.

“y/n?” your soul nearly left your body as you got startled by a deep voice behind you, now suddenly being aware of the figure behind you. whirling around, you almost hit the other person with your small bag with the swing. your eyes widened and you apologized profusely, fussing around to make sure the person was okay until you paused. wait a minute. this person knew your name. abruptly leaning back so you could look at the person’s face - they were very, very tall - you incredulously stared at them before spluttering: “c- choso? you’re choso?”

the taller male nodded, gently grasping your shoulders to steady you. on your bare skin, his hands felt scalding hot, making you painfully aware of how close you stood to each other. choso, for a lack of better terms, looked nothing like you’d expected but you couldn’t complain. he was attractive, very much so. he almost fit into the bad boy category, the type of men your dad would never let you close to. you felt inexplicably drawn to choso, like a moth to flames and you just couldn’t look away. he stared back at you, dark eyes glinting with concern as he took in your form. as your voice had suggested, you appeared to be a rather shy and timid person, looking at him like a deer in headlights. choso thought you were adorable, the way you were holding onto the sleeves of his shirt to not fall.

“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you! you just really scared me there,” you apologized again, letting go of the fabric in embarrassment. luckily, he didn’t seem to mind, patiently waiting until you were composed again.

“don’t worry about it, i’m okay. it’s nice to finally meet you. should we head inside?” he offered you his arm which you gratefully took and followed him inside. truth to be told, you were starstruck by him, still too flabbergasted to say another word. thankfully, choso had picked up on your speechlessness, silently chuckling to himself as he led you to your private booth. you sat across from him, quietly thanking the waiter as he handed you the menu. eyes flitting back and forth between it and choso, you fiddled with the hem of your dress. what would you even talk about? you felt awkward, not knowing what to ask him; your confidence had suddenly vanished with the earlier incident.

“you look like you’re about to faint,” choso teased you, giving you a cheeky smile. “i’m not gonna bite you, i promise. i’m supposed to be your fake boyfriend, right? ask me whatever you want, just act like we’re good friends. it’ll get better with time.”

you nodded eagerly, face heating up at the mention of boyfriends. how does one even act around them without prior experience? let’s not dwell on it for too long, you thought to yourself. fidgeting on your seat, you pointed at the menu. "do you already know what you'll be getting? a lot of people online recommended their signature dish so i thought we could try it… but all of their dishes sound really good!"

“how about we order different dishes and try from each other then?” choso suggested in response, amusedly watching how your eyes lit up at his idea. you nodded quickly, delving back into the menu to find your desired dish. glancing over to his side to see what he was looking at, you then pushed your menu over to him, pointing at the dish you would be ordering. choso nodded in understanding, skimming the pages until he found a dish that complimented it. not wanting to let you wait any longer, he gave the waiter a sign, ordering for the two of you. across of him, you stayed quiet, still contemplating what to ask him.

“feel free to ask me anything,” choso reminded you again, propping his chin on his hand and leaned closer to you. “when you first get to know someone, dates are really just to spend time with each other and getting to know the other person. if there’s something you two have in common, you’ll just go from there and bond over it, yeah?”

humming in thought, you nodded and looked up at him. “so uhm… what do you like to do in your free time? i’m still in uni, so i spend most of my days studying. but i really like reading when i’m free and i also volunteer at an animal shelter. the pets there make me really happy!”

“my job takes up the majority of my time, so i try to spend time with family and friends as much as possible. my younger brother has gotten me into surfing and paddle boarding, i really enjoy doing that. what do you study, if i may ask?”

“i want to become a veterinarian in the future! it’s been my dream ever since i was younger, so yeah… you said you have a younger brother? i have an older sister but we don’t have much in common since she’s a lot older than me. but um surfing! so you spend a lot of time at the beach, right? i haven’t been there in a long time.”

“if you still wish to continue after today’s date, we could go to the beach next time? i can teach you, it’s not that difficult.”

surprised, your eyes widened at his suggestion. he seemed to be confident that there would be a next time and you couldn’t even deny that possibility. so far, you were easing into the conversation more and more - the process was more natural than the whole setting suggested. though he still made you nervous, he had been nothing but respectful of your space and friendly. not to mention that you were attracted to him as well; if you hadn’t hired him, you could imagine actually getting close to him.

"i- i'd love that." as you told him more about yourself and listened to his stories, you didn’t notice how much time had passed until the waiter suddenly appeared in front of you, presenting you the dishes. your mouth was watering at the sight of the delicious dishes, you couldn’t wait to dig in. quickly thanking the waiter, you then took a bite from the dish after he left. you sighed in satisfaction, taking your time to properly taste the first bite.

“this is so good, you need to try it!” you gushed, pushing your plate closer to the middle of the table. choso chuckled, sharing his plate with you as well. as you took in all the side dishes, he'd already taken it upon himself to pick up a smaller piece with his chopsticks, nudging it towards you. you looked at him confused, then back at the small piece of food. was he trying to-? carefully, you leaned in and let him feed you, confusion and hesitation immediately melting at the taste. the food made you happy, but the unusual intimacy and closeness that he just showed you wasn't lost in between the myriad emotions.

as you had dinner, the previous conversation continued. choso was a few years older than you, has been working in this industry for two years now and preferred coffee over tea. he disliked early mornings and liked to sleep in until noon. his most precious and valued object was a polaroid camera, he wanted to have photos commemorating important occasions or moments that were special to him. all these little details made you feel like he was less of an escort that you'd hired but more of a friend. much to your surprise, the conversation ran smoothly and there were no awkward, silent gaps. you supposed it was only natural; you felt comfortable with him so it was easy to talk. had it been any other guy who didn't understand you or your intentions so well, you probably would've closed up.

"do you want to take a stroll around the estate? i heard the gardens are really beautiful," you asked choso, a hopeful glint in your eyes. dinner was finished long ago, silence filled with light conversation and teasing from choso’s side. you weren’t sure where to go from this or how to suggest being… more intimate. choso had suggested you would go slow - but how slow was too slow? and if you were to go with the flow, when would be the right time?

“i would love to,” choso’s reply pulled you out of your thoughts, focusing your attention back to him. lost in your thoughts, you nodded and called a waitress over to pay the bill. you felt choso’s gaze on you, making you queasy. what did he think of you? or this entire ordeal? you wondered. as he stood up and moved behind you, you nearly jumped out of your skin when he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out of the restaurant. the touch was unfamiliar, heavy and scalding even through your clothes, but not unwelcome. a strange feeling welled up in your chest, crawling its way up your throat, constricting it in such a way that it distracted you from coherent thoughts.

seeming to notice your conflict, choso stepped to the side, offering you his hand. you glanced at it, hesitating. “boyfriend experience, remember?” he grinned at you, patiently waiting until you took his hand. his hand was much bigger, almost entirely engulfing yours as you intertwined your fingers. gently swinging your arms back and forth with the flow, choso lead the way through the paths of the garden. having looked forward to it, you suddenly found yourself too distracted by him. the flowers and trees were beautiful and so were the statues but he was the one that caught your attention.

“my hands aren’t sweaty, are they?” you asked after a moment of silence, stopping to face choso. he laughed and shook his head, flicking your forehead gently.

“stop worrying about things too much, you’ll be fine. you don’t see me complaining, do you?”

“i mean that’s true… but i can’t help it! there’s just a lot to uh, think about…” your voice trailed off, you let his hand go to cover your face in embarrassment. choso inched closer to you, grasping your hands to pry them off your face. remaining stubborn, you pulled them back in, a giggle breaking from your lips when he tried again, playfully pinching your cheeks.

“want me to take your mind off said things?” he asked with a low voice, inching in further until your back hit a tree trunk behind you. he was so close, too too close. weakly, you pushed at his chest, trying to get him to back off. the sudden closeness that threw you off - your heart was racing at a million miles an hour, the endless possibilities dancing around your head. “how so?” your voice came out quiet and breathless, as if you were anticipating anything, something… his touch perhaps?

“do you feel comfortable with me?” without hesitating, you nodded in agreement. choso didn’t question you any further, simply gave you a knowing smile before diving in and pressing his lips against yours. instinctively, you stiffened, hands clenching around the fabric of choso’s shirt. breath caught up in your throat, you struggled to ease into it. you pulled away from him, squeezing your eyes shut in shame.

“i’m sorry that-”

“don’t apologize,” choso comforted you quickly, clasping your hands in his and intertwining them. thumbs gently rubbing the back of your hands, he lifted one of them to press a kiss against your knuckles. you blinked perplexed; your heart fluttered at the gesture. “don’t overthink it, there’s no science to it, yeah? just follow the flow, whatever feels good. we’ll go from there.”

giving you a moment to collect yourself, he leaned back in, silently waiting for permission. again, your breath hitched but this time, it wasn’t the nervousness. it was his eyes that drew you in, demanding all of your attention. dark, with unknown depths, that glimmered with mischief. ever so slightly, you tilted your head up to meet his lips. his warm lips pressed against yours, slowly testing the waters and letting you set the pace before deepening the kiss. now less hesitant, you kissed him back with more fervour, losing yourself in the feeling. it felt awkward and strange now that you let him guide you, leaving more space for you to ponder about the feeling that it evoked inside of you. you were glad he was holding your hands, otherwise you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. the kiss brought forth a pleasant, tingling feeling - the sort of feeling that pulled you in, lulling you in warmth.

when choso pulled away, you almost mewled in disappointment, chasing after him. he let out a breathy laugh, cupping your cheek. “how did that feel? was it okay?”

“y- yeah, i liked it. felt very strange at first but once i was able to ease into it, it was… more natural and felt really good,” you explained to him shyly, leaning into his hand. longingly, you gazed at him. would it be weird to ask for another kiss? you wanted explore the feelings more, the intimacy of it, wanted to feel more of him. as if sensing that you were craving more, choso leaned in again, stopping a few centimeters in front of your face. with a sudden surge of boldness, you closed the distance between you, leaning up to kiss him. choso's arm snaked around your waist, pressing you closer to his body. gradually your body felt hotter, a dull ache accompanying it, spreading across the expanse of your stomach.

before you could act on the urge, choso pulled away again, pressing an apologetic kiss to the corner of your lips. "sorry, i don't want to get too carried away and we're… uh in public," he laughed at your horrified expression upon realizing your mistake. "i take it that you're still comfortable with this? do let me know if it gets too overwhelming for you.”

“n- no, it’s fine! it was uh, an interesting insight. i just wasn’t expecting to really get into this, considering- considering i hired you for this and don’t really know you.”

choso hummed in agreement. “i guess there has to be at least a smidge of attraction for it to work, yeah?” you looked at him stunned, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. you couldn’t place it; couldn’t place the feeling of longing that was emerging in you. when he looked at you like that, it was difficult to remind yourself that he was just an escort that you hired for your personal problems. when he looked at you like that, it filled you with warmth, making you want to pretend that he really cared about you as if you were in a relationship.

“yeah… yeah, i guess so.”

nervously, you were twiddling with your phone, contemplating whether to text choso or not. after the last “date”, you felt confident enough in continuing your… relationship of sorts. he was great at guiding you, always making sure you were comfortable and moving at your pace. you did let him know that you would book another session, you just hadn’t set up a date or time yet. and casually texting him felt awkward. hey, how’s your day? oh by the way, i wanna book another session so we can make out haha? maybe calling was a better idea. there was no plan ahead, never did you think you would even get this far.

the dial tone made you nervous. you chewed on your bottom lip as you waited for him to pick up, bouncing your leg up and down. maybe he was busy? it was early in the afternoon after all, he was probably already out with other clients. “hello? y/n?” choso sounded groggy, his voice raspy and deep as if he’d just gotten up. it sent electric shocks right down your spine, raising goosebumps across your skin. never had you thought about a man’s morning voice before, but choso had you wondering, imagining. you spluttered: “oh hey uh are you busy? i’m not interrupting you with something, am i?”

“not at all, i just got up,” choso admitted with a quiet chuckle. “everything okay? are you calling in for another appointment?”

“ah, yeah! i thought that we worked quite well and there’s still a few more things i want to learn with you, if you’re up for it? if you’re comfortable with it too, of course!”

“mhmm, i wouldn’t mind,” choso pondered from the other side. sounds of rustling and a few clangs resounded before you could clearly hear his voice again. you were glad that he agreed to it, meaning that you weren’t entirely… hopeless in that department. for days, his words were ghosting around in your head, a constant reminder that he seemed to find you attractive as well. not that he showed it, staying professional despite the nature of your relationship. it was nice to imagine that someone would look at you like that, at your shy and timid self.

choso was meticulous about his work, working on every detail and concern until he was satisfied. even though he looked so easy going, from time to time he had to admit that he was a perfectionist and easily frustrated when something didn't go the way he expected. so when you rolled around, so innocently asking for help, it threw him off. the feelings of confusion grew when he first met you, unable to pinpoint the origin of this urge, possessive and demanding, reaching its tendrils out to you. the way you reached out to him for help, the fact that you wanted to continue, wanted him to teach you. it thrilled him to the core when it really should not. he had to remain professional. but he was curious, so curious. indulging a little wouldn't hurt, right?

to choso's surprise, the next venue you'd chosen was the own comfort of your home. you were barely acquaintances, more like strangers, and yet you felt confident to invite him here. at the phone you had told him that your friends thought you had weird ideas about dates due to only seeing glorified versions of them on tv shows and movies. it embarrassed you enough to take their advice, inviting choso over for a movie night as opposed to visiting another fancy venue with him. prior to the date, you went through movie suggestions and rented the ones that you thought were interesting and enjoyable for the two of you. despite your put together attire and look, your apartment did not reflect the sentiment. it was a little chaotic; books and paper stacking up in every free corner of the apartment, pens strewn across surfaces and here and there choso could spot memorabilia and photos.

you gave choso an apologetic look when you let him in. despite your best efforts to clean up, you were still not happy with the outcome. tidying wasn't your strong suit but you tried to make it as accommodating as possible. choso assured you that he didn't mind at all, telling you that it added to the charm of the apartment. it was unusual to have someone other than your friends or family in the apartment - your home was your sacred space that you rarely ever showed anyone else, let alone someone you had hired. choso took a seat on the couch, turning to look at you as you went to grab some glasses and drinks.

"i uh, told my friends about my plans and they just told me i have weird expectations of dates," you explained choso, placing the items you'd grabbed on the coffee table and rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. "they said it would probably just be better to have a simple movie night since a lot of people do that. and it would… make things a lot easier i- if we go fu- further…" the implication was hanging in the air, you didn't dare to speak them out. choso gave you a knowing smile, patting the empty space beside him. gingerly, you sat next to him, squeaking in surprise when he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side. with wide eyes, you stared at him, still trying to wrap your head around the casual close proximity with the taller male.

wordlessly, you started a random movie, trying to focus on it. throughout the duration of it, choso would ask you questions about your day, how uni was going or whether you felt comfortable. you couldn't focus, not with him being so close. how you made it through the first movie you didn't know. you were hyper aware of choso's wandering hands, the ghost touches his fingers left, how he absentmindedly rubbed your legs that were resting on his lap. straining to keep your eyes on the screen, your neck already felt stiff from the tension.

"i can tell that you're distracted, you know?" choso hummed, hands squeezing your legs gently to catch your attention. pretending to not be affected by it, you shook your head. you didn't want to show him that you wanted to proceed, not yet.

"i'm trying to concentrate," you shushed him quietly, playfully pushing at his arm but still not looking over to him. silence. you assumed you'd convinced him that there was nothing wrong until you felt his hands innocently move a little higher, rubbing the top of your thighs. clenching your fists, you stayed put, unwavering in your resolve. choso's hands wandered, alternating between featherlight touches to using more pressure. he kept his eyes on you, gauging your reactions to him. you brought your hand up to cover half of your face. it was embarrassing, the way your breath came out laboured in response. without warning, arms were hooked under your knees, dragging you across the couch and seated you on his lap. you made a noise in protest, now finally paying attention to him. choso wasn’t sure why but it had bothered him that you were so adamant on keeping your attention on the movie as opposed to keeping your eyes on him.

choso wasn’t sure why but he craved your attention, wanted you to look at him only. his resolve crumbled when you looked at him with wide eyes, grasping the sleeves of his shirt to steady yourself. he couldn’t help but kiss you, swallowing your surprised mewl before you returned the kiss. pleased at your eagerness, he gradually deepened the kiss, licking at the seams of your lips. you gasp in surprise and parted your lips slightly, whimpering in anticipation. it felt unfamiliar and yet thrilling at the same time, fueling and flaring up the dull ache in the pit of your stomach. before choso could go any further, you pulled away and hid your face in the crook of his neck. “what’s wrong? did i go too far?” he questioned concerned, rubbing your back in soothing circles.

“no, no, not at all,” reassuring him quickly, you awkwardly turned in his lap, legs still thrown over it. “i uh just wanted to try to take initiative myself, figure things out without getting hints from you… if that’s okay?”

a sigh of relief left choso’s lips. silently, he gave you his approval and leaned back, watching as you shuffled clumsily. finally, you straddled his lap and placed your hands on his chest. in the dim light, you couldn’t make out his face expression - choso was glad that you couldn’t, otherwise you would have been able to see how much it was affecting him, how he was slowly losing his composure and control around you. but this was about you, he was there to help you explore this type of intimacy. releasing another shaky breath, you then leaned in and softly kissed him. you kept a languid tempo, slowly and surely cracking his restraint. trying to mirror what he’d done earlier, you pushed further, timidly licking into his mouth as he parted his lips.

seemingly not being able to hold back anymore, choso pushed against you with equally as much fervour, gripping your chin and tilting your head ever so slightly. his lips moved against yours, sucking your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you. again the ache in the pit of your stomach was flaring up, uncomfortable and yearning for relief; you moved against his lap, pressing your body against his when your crotch dragged against the bulge in his jeans. choso groaned, hands flying to grasp your hips and steady you.

dazed, you gave him a confused look. choso cleared his throat, lifting his hips ever so slightly so you could feel his arousal again. when the realization hit you, your face heated up - you were surprised to find out that he felt aroused… by you.

“oh.”

“yeah.” choso retorted dryly, hands rubbing at his face in embarrassment. “fuck, i’m so sorry. it wasn’t meant to get out of hand like this, i don’t know how far you planned ahead for today but i-”

“uhm if you don’t mind…” you hesitated. but curiosity simply got the better of you, you wanted to see him breathless and feel as hot and bothered as you did. “could i uhm. you know? give you a handjob? only if you don’t mind because i want to know how to please uhm, please people.”

choso swore under his breath. you had no idea how painfully hard you were making him. quietly encouraging you, he leaned in to kiss you again and guided your hands to his jeans. you fumbled with the button and zipper, hands trembling slightly. it took you a few tries until you were finally able to unzip his pants, a giggle left your lips at the thought of how clumsy you were. your hands gently rubbed at the tent in his boxers, breath hitching as choso’s hips jerked. gaining some courage, you slightly put on more pressure and watched fascinated when choso’s fingers digged into the fleshy skin of your hips in anticipation. slowly, you pulled the waistband of his boxers down until it revealed his cock. choso hissed at the cold air that was biting at his skin.

carefully, you wrapped your hand around the shaft, marvelling at how the skin felt on your hands. sensing your cluelessness, choso wrapped his larger hand around yours and guided you into a slow rhythm to get you used to the movement. sucking in a deep breath between his teeth, he praised you: “you’re doing good, y/n. fuck, you’re being such a good girl.”

your heart soared at the praise. eagerly, you leaned up to kiss him, still stroking him in slow movements. choso moaned against your lips, the deep sound spurring you on, eager to hear more of his reactions. when you finally felt more comfortable continuing on your own, choso pulled his hands away and instead settled them on the small of your back, sliding them down until they were resting on your bum. you wrapped your other hand around him as well and paid attention to his reactions, adjusting the pressure and pace accordingly. choso buried his face in the crook of your neck, whispering sweet praises in between his moans. eventually your name left his lips; it set your entire body in flames, desperate want clinging onto your bones.

“fuck, i’m close,” he groans against the skin of your neck, hips rutting up to meet your movements more frantically now. you weren’t entirely sure what to do, opting to simply match the pace. shudders wrecked through choso’s body as he came, warm cum painting your small hands and running down your fingers. he was panting, leaning back against the couch and watching you with hooded eyes. the sight in front of you stirred something inside of you - choso’s flushed face, the slight sheen of sweat on his skin, his kiss-bitten lips. with curiosity, you inspected the liquid on your hand. lazily, choso grasped your wrist, holding them away from you. “‘m sorry. do you have a tissue?”

you tilted your head, tugging on the sleeves of his sweater with your other hand. “uh i- i’ve heard from others… um. can i try?” you asked quietly. choso’s grip on your wrist weakened; he gave you an incredulous look, as if you few two heads. out of all things, he didn’t expect you to suggest that. fuck, he felt the blood rushing right back down to his cock. just the thought of you, doing that - it was enough to make him cum again. “go ahead, if you feel like it,” choso whispered in a low voice. dark urges overcame him again, begging him to give in, to make you bend to his will, to submit, to-

his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he saw you unashamedly pop a finger in your mouth, licking the come from it. there wasn’t any reaction from you really, you gave him a sheepish smile afterwards and gratefully took the tissue he offered you. he helped you wipe your hands, diving in for another kiss. “sorry, i think i just short circuited,” choso laughed embarrassedly, another kiss was pressed to your temple. “that was just… uh- fuck.”

“r- really?” you stammered, hiding your face in your hands. “it’s okay if it wasn’t that great for you, it was my first time after all, i-”

choso hushed you, going for another open mouthed kiss, eliciting a whimper from you. “yeah, really. fuck, the things i want to do to you,” he shook his head, not wanting to get sidetracked again. “but this is about you. we’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable. did you feel like you learned enough for today?”

“mh- hmm. thank you,” you leaned your head against his chest, closing your eyes as a sudden tiredness washed over you. choso’s fingers dancing across your skin were slowly lulling you into a comfortable slumber. “what is it that you want to do to me? will you show me one day?”

choso cursed, shivers running down his spine.

“if you want to, of course.”

-----------

now that you’d met choso a couple of times, it was pretty obvious that you took some liking to him. after that fateful day, nothing else had happened as you wanted to work on easing into relationship dynamics and feeling less insecure about things - choso had been nothing but sweet and mindful about it, even went out of his way to find suitable locations for your dates. somewhere along the way you had started to text more casually, the strictly business type texting long forgotten. gradually, the two of you opened up to each other, the lines between escort and client slowly blurring and intertwining.

choso had promised to pick you up after your shift at the animal shelter for your next date; for today he had suggested you come over to his place for a change. the thought that he was willing to let you in his home, let you have a glimpse into his personal life, it made you giddy with anticipation. despite getting closer to each other, he remained a mysterious person and you didn't want to pry. after all, you were merely his client. but what if you were more- patting your cheeks to put some sense back into you, you leaned down to pet the dogs. unbeknownst to you, choso had already entered the building and watched you with a soft smile as you gave each of the dogs their deserved belly rubs before you left.

you didn't take any notice of him until some of the dogs perked up and carefully trudged over to sniff at the stranger. turning around on your heels, your eyes widened as you took in choso's tall figure. you quickly apologized, telling him that you would be joining him right away to which he simply shook his head and reassured you that you were fine. your co-workers were eyeing choso curiously, one of them wiggling their eyebrows at you. in response, you waved it off, too embarrassed to set the record straight. choso looked so awfully much like a boyfriend in this moment - the way he was dressed in casual clothes that accentuated his physical features so well, the soft smile he gave you as he offered you his hand to take, the way he sounded genuinely interested and curious when he asked you about your day.

silently, you took his hand and followed him out of the building - you could feel your co-workers’ inquisitive gazes like laser beams on your back. while they were never particularly nosy about your personal life, it was unusual that someone would pick you up from work; much less someone that you seemed to be romantically interested in. surely, they would grill you the next time you would return to work. “they think you’re my boyfriend,” you explained to choso sheepishly, glancing down at your intertwined hands. choso squeezed your hand and nudged your side gently. “am i not?” he winked at you cheekily, making your face heat up. he had asked in such a serious voice that you’d briefly questioned yourself.

“n- no, not really,” you replied quietly, looking away from him. choso reached around you to open the car door for you. in the window reflection you could see his face expression; it was rather somber, almost as if your words had hurt him in a way. the emotion was gone from his face when you blinked. maybe you had just imagined it. getting close to him on that level was unattainable, no matter how you twisted it. it just wasn't right.

the car ride was mostly quiet, only the sound of choso's car playlist accompanying you. somewhere along the way he had reached out to intertwine your fingers, resting his hand on your thigh. holding hands was almost natural to you now, the way his hands automatically sought out yours whenever possible. in response, your heart was racing, filling with the all too familiar feeling of yearning. whether you were simply yearning for the intimacy and closeness of a relationship or for him, you weren't entirely sure. while choso had told you about himself for the sake of the fake dating, there were still unknown facettes. it was impossible for you to get to know all of him, not when he was selling a fantasy to you. and yet, you found yourself craving more of him, beyond what he was willing to show you.

choso parked his car in the garage, turning his body sideways so he could look at you. "you okay? you look like you were quite lost in thoughts," he hummed curiously, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. what could you possibly answer to that? hey i'm questioning our fake relationship and it's going beyond what i expected? abruptly, choso hoisted you across the seat onto his lap as if you'd weighed nothing. "a penny for your thoughts? or should i take your mind off things?"

"i- i think i would… rather not talk about it," you whispered quietly, gaze skirting away from his eyes. choso frowned, slightly irritated - he had a small inkling why he reacted this way but banned the thought to the back of his head. he understood that as a client, you wouldn't disclose details of your private life to him. but he found it difficult to circumvent your dropping mood when he couldn't tell what was going on.

"i understand," choso was about to open the door when you suddenly cupped his chin and dove in for a kiss. he was caught off guard - rarely did you ever initiate kisses, usually shyly asking beforehand. feeling bold, you pressed you pressed your hips down, grinding against his crotch. choso groaned, gripping your hips to guide you while thrusting his hips up to meet yours. he enjoyed how you shuddered at the newfound pleasure, the delicious friction making your toes curl. "does baby want me to take her mind off things?" he murmured with a raspy voice, peppering kisses across your jaw.

"please," you mewled needily, hands grabbing onto his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. choso complied, sliding his hand up to tangle in your hair and gently pulled at it, tilting your head back. you were panting by the time he was moving down the column of your neck, nipping and sucking at your skin. lower and lower, until he reached the top of your breasts; with swift movements, he yanked your shirt and bra upso , pressing open mouthed kisses to them before wrapping his lips around your nipple. your voice cracked as you moaned his name, hands flying up to bury your hands in his hair. distracted by the ministrations, you didn’t notice choso’s free hand sliding down your front until you feel the coldness of his hands on your skin. you squirmed, giggling at the cool sensation - the giggle died abruptly when he dove lower, fingers rubbing your clothed pussy languidly.

“c- choso! we’re still in the g- garage, people can see!” you stuttered scandalized, tugging at the tips of his hair to grab his attention. choso simply hummed, carrying on as if you hadn’t just told him your concerns. rubbing circles on your clit, he watched with satisfaction how your legs were trembling, writhing in pleasure. just the sight of you - hickeys on your neck, slightly swollen lips, shirt pushed up to reveal your tits, his hands down your pants - it was so arousing and thrilling, he almost didn’t want to stop.

“the windows are tinted and no one’s around at this time… do you really want me to stop?” he murmured with a low voice, fingers pushing your panties to the side to gather the slick up on his fingers. “look at you, how much you’re craving it. the want is written all over your face, baby. do you want to stop now?”

before you know it, choso’s hand is suddenly hovering over your face, fingers glimmering with your arousal. you shot him a dazed look, confusion evident on your face. “open,” he instructed softly, slowly and carefully sliding his fingers in your mouth. almost instinctively, your hands gingerly grasped his wrist. your lips wrapped around them, tasting the liquid curiously. his breath hitched, blood shooting down his groin - fuck, you were going to kill him. tentatively, he thrusted his fingers, slow enough so he could gauge your reaction to it. you didn’t know what it was - the taste of yourself, the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the way he was looking at you with hooded eyes and a hungry expression on his face; it made you squirm, eagerly for more. choso immediately took notice of your sudden mood shift. barely noticeable, your hips were rocking back and forth as you sucked on his fingers, cleaning them of your slick.

with a pop, choso removed his fingers. you whimpered his name, gasping in relief when he slid them back down, moving your panties to the side. his thumb found your clit, rubbing the little nub gently in slow circles. as if he was in no hurry and unbothered by the prospect that someone could actually spot you, he continued his ministrations. your legs jerked, threatening to close when you felt his fingers prod at your entrance. excruciatingly slow, he sunk a finger into you. the feeling was unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable at first. seizing up, you clenched around the finger. “relax, ease into it,” choso whispered reassuringly, capturing your lips in a kiss. “it’ll feel good, i promise.”

choso inserted a second finger, letting you get used to the feeling of them. the kisses he was peppering on your chest were distracting you from the burning stretch, creating a confusing mix between pain and pleasure. “how are you feeling?”

“f- feels good, i- i-” you were struggling to form coherent sentences, too focused on how he was lapping at your nipples, sucking and kissing them gently. “y- you can continue…”

steadily, choso started to thrust his fingers into you - gradually, the burn was disappearing and replaced by a delicious stretch, pleasure that was spreading throughout your body and setting your nerves on fire. desperately clinging onto his shirt, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. choso placed a kiss on the crown of your head, whispering sweet praises and telling you what a good girl you were. it felt good, so good but something was missing, you needed something, maybe more. you started begging and despite blabbering nonsensical things, choso understood what you were asking of him. his fingers hit a peculiar spot inside of you when he curled them, making you jerk in surprise. “o- oh!” again and again, choso was hitting the spot, making you writhe on his lap.

something was building up in the pit of your stomach, like a tightened coil that was about to snap at any time. panicking slightly, you grabbed choso’s hand and tried to close your legs, wiggling away from him: “h- hey wait, i-” another moan broke from your lips when choso sealed your lips with his and wrapped his arm around your waist, locking you in place. “it’s okay, let go, baby. cum for me,” he whispered against your lips, sinking his fingers in you one last time. and then the coil snapped, the high crashing over you like a riptide, so blinding and intense that it took you a while to come down from it. your thighs were still trembling by the time you came back to your senses, ripples of pleasure still cursing through you.

you slump against choso's chest, exhausted from the intensity of your orgasm but feeling wonderfully blissed out. choso removed his hand from you, licking your arousal from his fingers before wiping them off on a paper towel. he brushed his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "how are you feeling? can you move?"

"my legs feel like jelly," your voice came out muffled, face still pressed into his chest. "'m feeling good though. that was… really nice."

"i'll carry you upstairs," choso declared matter-of-factly, hoisting you up so he could carry you. you slung your arms around his neck, pecking the side of his neck. his scent was faint but calming, lulling you into a sense of home and comfort. you wanted to stay close to him like this, just having him hold you in his arms. a myriad of emotions welled up in you, swallowing all your doubts until all that was left was the budding blossoms of your feelings for him, nurtured by his soft touches and adoring treatment. you wanted to cherish him, keep him close for as long as you could, as long as you could still have him.

"thank you."

"for what?" choso sounded surprised.

"taking care of me? i mean i pay you for it but i still wanted to let you know that i appreciate it."

“everything for you, baby,” choso replied softly, tightening his grip around you. as you got to his apartment, choso placed you on the couch and knelt down, hands wrapping around yours. “do you want to get changed? i’ll lend you some of my clothes, you can get changed in my room or in the bathroom if you want to freshen up.”

he was so so considerate, you couldn’t believe someone as nice as him existed out there. as you agreed, choso disappeared in his room; the sound of opening doors and drawers as well as rustling resounded from his room. you took the opportunity to observe his home. it was a small but cozy apartment, despite being sparsely decorated. in the back of the living room, you could spot some bags and boxes, presumably choso’s surfing equipment, as well as posters and photos cluttered on a pinboard. here and there, some little figurines and trinkets were spread across the apartment. although it was cozy, the apartment lacked some kind of presence, some warmth. you assumed that it had to do with choso’s job - he probably was rarely home between work and spending time with friends and family.

“here you go,” choso handed you a big sweatshirt and some shorts as he came back, patting your head teasingly. “go and get changed, i’ll start preparing dinner, yeah?”

you hid in the bathroom and got changed, neatly folding your clothes and stacking them on the counter. inspecting yourself in the mirror, you admired the size of choso’s sweater - it was a simple and cream coloured sweater that was entirely dwarfing and engulfing you. the sleeves were way too long and the hem almost reached your knees. but it was soft and comfy, coming close to choso’s hugs. you pulled the shorts up your legs, awkwardly securing them by tucking them underneath the sweater. choso had set up some boiling water and was silently chopping vegetables by the time you left the bathroom and tip toed towards the kitchen. “can i help you with anything?”

“no it’s okay, take a seat. do you want anything to drink? water? tea?” reluctantly, you sat at the small table on the side, pouting at him. choso simply laughed and shook his head, bringing a glass of water over. your heart jumped in surprise when he kissed your forehead as he placed the glass on the table. “i’ll take care of you for today. boyfriend duties, remember? the past times you’ve always taken us out on restaurants and incredible locations and now it’s my turn to show you the boyfriend magic.”

sudden dread filled your stomach. how could choso be so warm and kind-hearted to you, when you weren’t even in a relationship? you keep having to remind yourself that this was what he was doing for a living, that you might possibly never know the real him. that this might just be a mask that he kept on for the sake of your requests. you didn’t reply, deep in your thoughts as you stared at the glass of water. choso returned back to his previous task, cooking dinner in silence. your chest felt heavy with uncertainty and disappointment - you tried your best to push the emotions down. they were irrational, you knew full well what you were getting yourself into when you asked for his service.

thankfully, choso didn’t seem to have picked up on your sullen mood, even throughout dinner - you let no emotions shine through when you conversed with him, choosing to keep it lighthearted. you offered to wash the dishes, not wanting him to lift another finger when you could help him in return. as you scrubbed the bowls, choso creeped up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “you wanna watch a movie? or go to bed already? you’ve had a long day at work after all.”

“hmm, yeah. i think i’d prefer going to bed, if that’s okay for you?”

“i could never say no to cuddles,” choso hummed, capturing your lips in another kiss. you whimpered against them, not being able to resist him. he moaned against your lips, grip on you tightening. “please don’t tempt me, it’s so hard to say no to you,” he warned you with a strained voice.

your face grew warm at the memories of a few hours ago. you couldn’t believe you let him do that, let him finger you in his car in the garage. no one had seen you and you were thankful for that but you wanted the ground to swallow you whole at the thought of someone possibly snitching on you. your father would lose his mind. “is- is it not what you want?”

“of course i do, but not today. baby steps, remember? we have all the time in the world. and i can assure you that i very much want you,” with one last peck on your lips, he removed himself from you and disappeared in his room. he wanted you. your heart was soaring at his confession. you were relieved to know that he was craving you as much as you were yearning for him. maybe you would indulge, just for a couple more times until you would inevitably have to cut off the relationship. you felt at peace with your decision, you told yourself. nothing good would come from false hope.

after washing up, you joined choso on the bed, shyly crawling towards him as he opened his arms and welcomed you. he pulled you into his chest, nearly crushing you with his weight. it made you giggle and squirm in his arms, trying to wiggle out of his hold. choso was having none of it, peppering kisses all over your face as he trapped you in place. gasping for air in between your carefree laughter, you weakly pushed at his head, squealing when he dove in to blow raspberries on your neck. he showed mercy and let up, instead curiously inspecting your neck as he pulled the neckline of your, no his, sweater down. something dark was glinting in his eyes as his eyes zoomed in on the hickeys he had left on your neck and chest - he felt strangely satisfied, pleased with his work of art. a sliver of possessiveness overcame him as he traced the trail of red marks on your neck, humming quietly.

“something wrong with my neck?” you questioned confused, not having spotted the hickeys yet. choso shook his head, simply laid back on his side again to look at you. “not at all. was just inspecting the hickeys i left on you.”

“you left marks?” you gaped at him, mildly shocked at the revelation. though he was preoccupied with your neck earlier, you didn’t expect him to actually leave so many marks, much less ones that were visible. “is… is that a common occurrence?”

“for couples? i think so. but i can’t speak for everyone; if it was me, i would do it frequently. stake my claim on you, let everyone know that you’re mine,” choso replied and casually draped the blanket over the two of you, as if he didn’t just admit to doing something he would normally do with a lover. did he think of you as his? you struggled to decipher his actions, not being able to match it with a specific reason.

“that’s uh-” your stuttering was interrupted by another horrifying thought. “oh god, i can’t let my parents see this, they will kill me.”

choso shot you a confused look. you hadn’t told him about your parents yet or how you were hiding this from them.

“my parents… especially my dad, are very cautious about letting me venture out in romantic relationships. it’s mostly because he didn’t feel like anyone was good enough for me and because he didn’t want me to get hurt. sometimes i felt like those princesses locked up in a tower, you know? so i decided to explore and uh, hired you. i didn’t want to burden my friends with having to help me gain some experience,” you explained to choso, eyes widening when he suddenly grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to it. he winked at you cheekily before leaning over you to turn off the lights. you felt him press a gentle kiss to your lips but you couldn’t make out his face expression in the dark. choso preferred it like this, so you couldn’t tell the vulnerable look on his face, the ache of knowing that he could never fully be yours.

“then i’m glad i get to serve a princess such as you.”

----------

“you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with choso,” nobara commented as she took a sip from her coffee, reaching out to grab one of the muffins you had ordered. you looked away in embarrassment. it’s been nearly two months since you’ve started to meet up with choso. your dates became more frequent, even the casual texting continued. and yet you hadn’t really told your friends about your progress or how you felt about him, either brushing it off or giving them vague details. it was only natural that nobara and maki grew suspicious, vowing to grill you about it the next time you would meet up. “have you done the deed?”

“n- no! not yet,” you answered hastily, the topic still making you feel bashful. though you had talked to choso about it; he had agreed and hinted that you might go all the way the next time you would meet up. it was weird, scheduling something like this. but you felt more at ease knowing that it was approaching and you could somewhat prepare your nerves for it. “we talked about it though… next time, maybe?”

“i see,” maki nodded slowly, deep in thought. “you’ve been skirting around this escort thing a lot. is there something you’re hiding from us?”

“nope! not at all!”

“y/n… we’re looking out for you as friends. i know you told us that you trust choso and that he’s the nicest person you have ever but is there something more?” maki gave you a gentle nudge. the serious look in her eyes told you that you better not give her a lame excuse. even nobara, who was usually playful in nature, looked mildly concerned. as much concern as she could muster up anyways. sheepishly, you stared at your mug, watching the milk swirl with your hot chocolate. surely, they would tell you to stop seeing him, to stay away. because catching feelings for someone whose true feelings and self you could never uncover… should have been something you could have prevented. if only it hadn’t been so easy to give in, so easy to develop feelings for choso.

“uhm. i just realized that i like him, like a lot. i know i shouldn’t and should have circumvented the issue somehow but now i’m stuck with my feelings. and it’s just confusing. before you get mad at me, i’ve already decided to cut it off after our next date. i can’t dwell on it for too long because realistically, nothing is going to happen.”

wordlessly, nobara gave you a hug, patting your back to soothe you. “is he really that great though?” maki lightly swatted nobara’s arm and gave her an eyeroll. her comment made you laugh, she knew how to lighten up a situation.

“i think so. very gentleman-like and just takes good care of everything. i really appreciate how well he’s been taking care of me this entire time. he just is the perfect boyfriend, you know?” nobara nodded but you could tell from her face that she was trying to put the puzzle pieces together. it made you laugh again, pinching her cheek playfully. you didn’t want to worry your friends too much. they always helped you in every situation and now it was time you would take care of everything yourself.

“i can’t believe this entire time we were trying to find you a perfect partner and you’ve gone and went the whole nine yards, boyfriend experience and heartbreak all together,” maki joked and ruffled your hair, giving you a reassuring smile. “you know we’re there for you if you need emotional support in this, right? we might not be much of a help while you go through the fake breakup but we can help you take your mind off afterwards.”

you sniffled a little at the thought. your next date was fast approaching and you were grateful to have such great friends, who would always look out for you and be understanding even if you made dumb mistakes. your next step would be to learn how to mend a broken heart.

everything had to be perfect. the entire evening you had been on the move, busy cleaning your apartment and room and spending time in the bathroom making yourself look presentable. you still felt nervous exposing all of you to choso, never had anyone seen you naked before. the thought of it had made you so anxious that you’d called nobara who promptly suggested you wear cute underwear and something comfy to ease yourself into it. chances were that choso didn’t really care and wouldn’t judge you anyways; he had always been generous with compliments, always telling you how pretty you looked, how cute you were, and what a good girl you were for him. you didn’t think you could feel so fired up from praises nor did you think that you would be craving to hear them so much until choso came along. the feeling of euphoria that overtook you whenever he praised you, along with the pleasure he gave you whenever you were fooling around - it was a deadly combination.

knocks at the door made you perk up, hastily racing over to the door to let choso in. he chuckled when you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face in his chest. “hey baby, missed me much, huh? i missed you too,” choso admitted, softly combing his fingers through your hair. you peeked up at him from below, closing your eyes as you leaned into his touch like a cat. “mhmm, missed you a lot,” you mumbled, humming in content as choso pecked your lips briefly before waddling inside the apartment with you in his arms, closing the door behind him

“what am i going to do with you?” he mumbled amused and sat down on the couch, pulling you onto his lap. he squished your cheeks between his hands, kissing your pouty lips with a broad smile. “you always make it so hard for me to leave.”

your heart sunk at his last words, remembering how you were planning to proceed by the end of this date. surely, it couldn’t be so hard and he wouldn’t think much of it since it was all business anyways. and yet, you couldn’t help but seize up with dread, not wanting to hurt him. if, and only if he would actually be affected by it. you placed your hands on his, sticking your tongue out at him. you teased him: “you leave but you always return, right? doesn’t that give you something to look forward to?”

“yeah, always come bouncing back…” choso trailed off, a faraway look on his face. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking - each emotion that surfaced was only fleeting and quickly wiped from his face expression as if it never existed in the first place. perhaps he was keeping his heart as guarded as yours, for baring the most vulnerable parts of yourself could be your downfall. he ran his hands along your thighs, rubbing the bare skin gently, fingers teasingly slipping under the hem of your shorts. your breath hitched in your throat, expecting him to move his hands up further. but by now, choso knew how to play you like a fiddle, what drew beautiful moans out of you, what made you whimper in anticipation and how to build up tension. he knew how to tease you and use it to his advantage; knew well that you would follow his instructions like the good girl that you were, never disappointing him. “gotta take care of my princess, hm?”

choso dipped down, brushing the strands of your hair out of the way, showering it in kisses. you mewled quietly, tilting your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck. he was still murmuring between kisses, telling you how sweet you were, how he was going to make you sing his name, how he was going to take care of you. the whispered praises were getting to your head, you easily melted into his touch. “c- choso,” you gasped, already drowning in him as his presence clouded your senses, wrapping around you as if nothing else but him existed. “please touch me.”

“your wish is my command,” choso lifted you up as if you weighed nothing, carrying you to your bedroom with ease. gently, he dropped you on the bed, simply hovering over you without saying a word. the look in his eyes knocked the air out of your lungs; you loved his eyes, his dark brown eyes that were filled with so much warmth and love, now darkened and filled with lust. he observed you, waiting for you to make a move - you stayed still, tense with anticipation. with every single intimate encounter you had with him, you gradually learned that choso enjoyed being in control, overjoyed when you were obedient and remembered what he had told you. he liked having you at his mercy, being the first and only one to discover the expanse of your body, to pleasure you in ways you were yet to familiarize yourself with.

choso’s tapped your lips, carefully sliding two fingers in when you willingly parted your lips and sucked on them. the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the dazed look on his eyes as he watched you - it was all so erotic, so arousing. you lifted your hips, grinding against his thighs for some kind of relief. it drew a slightly irritated click of the tongue from choso, gently pressing his fingers against your tongue. but he enjoyed the view, seeing how you wanted him so much, how you were seeking relief by humping his thigh. you could already feel yourself soaking through your panties and your thin shorts, arousal smearing across choso’s thigh and leaving a wet spot on his jeans.

pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he slid them down, lower and lower, smearing your spit across your skin. his fingers stopped right at the buttons of your blouse, playfully rolling them between his fingers. slowly, he unbuttoned the blouse, pushing the fabric off your shoulders to reveal your bra. you squirmed, suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed about being so exposed in front of him. “you’re beautiful,” choso reminded you. “don’t hide from me. i want to see all of you.”

reluctantly, you kept your arms at your sides, instead clenching your fingers around the fabric of your comforter. teasingly, his hands dragged across the tops of your breasts before dipping lower. “look at you, how soaked you are already. you’ve even left a spot on my jeans. i haven’t even touched you properly yet… has my princess missed me this much?” he mused, gently rubbing circles across your skin. he was careful not to move anywhere close to your crotch, resolutely keeping his hand near your navel.

“yes, please touch me,” you mewled, grasping his hand to guide him towards the hem of your shorts. his hand splayed across your mound, rubbing in deliberately slow movements, making you sigh in relief. choso tugged on your shorts, dragging them down your legs with ease. you clenched your eyes shut, hiding your face behind your hands. choso stayed silent for a few seconds and simply admired you in the dim light of your room. he could tell that you'd chosen a nice set of underwear to impress him - you looked so cute in it, like a present waiting to be unwrapped. he took notice of the dark patch on the crotch of your panties, how they were clinging onto your skin and how your arousal was glistening on your inner thighs.

"you look breathtaking," choso complimented you, gently removing your hands from your face. "i told you not to hide, didn't i? give me all of you, baby."

you blinked a few times, sheepishly thanking him. his praises overwhelmed you, making your chest swell with pride. but still, you didn't know how to react when he was singing your praises, too bashful to reply coherently. choso removed your panties in painstakingly slow movements, leaving trails of kisses on your inner thighs up to your ankle. throwing your panties to the floor, he then pulled your legs over his shoulders. you watched him bewildered, not sure what to make of it. the position made you feel oddly exposed; all of your senses were heightened, strained to focus on choso only. the oversensitivity caused your hips to jerk when choso’s breath hit your pussy, keen on receiving attention. the swipe of his tongue on your slit was something you didn’t expect - the sensation was new, uncharted territory, so different from his fingers. it drew a whimper from your lips, making your toes curl against his back.

languidly, he was lapping at your folds, taking his time to get you used to the feeling. it wasn’t until his tongue dragged across your clit, lips wrapping around it to suck gently, that whines and whimpers spilled forth from your lips. your hips automatically lurched forward, rocking against his face. you couldn’t wrap your head around the pleasure it provided you, how it rendered you into a babbling mess with only his name on your lips like some mantra. needing to busy your hands otherwise, you clenched your fingers around his hair, subconsciously pressing his face into your pussy. choso groaned against you, the slight burn turning him on beyond relief. you felt like you’re floating, higher and higher, rapidly approaching your high and it was still a feeling you’re trying to get used to, a feeling that you readily welcomed and craved.

it was a combination of all the touches that bring you closer to the edge; how he was sucking at your clit before flattening his tongue against your clit, paying close attention to it, how it was repeatedly and rapidly dragging across your folds. it made you sob, begging him to make you cum. choso pulled you even closer, fingers digging into your thighs as he lapped at your swollen clit, again and again until you come with a loud moan, barch arching from the bed, heels digging into choso’s shoulder blades. clenching your eyes shut, you attempted to push his face away from you, now feeling too sensitive. your legs were trembling uncontrollably, you gasped for air as your high washes over you and slowly ebbing away. choso sat up on his knees and only then you see the arousal smeared across his chin and lips. the sight sent electric shocks up your spine, breath hitching in your throat. he looked so fucking hot like this. he gave you no time to be embarrassed about it, wiping the slick off his skin and licking it off his hands.

“c- choso, what-” you croaked, voice all raspy from your relentless moaning. choso didn’t reply, instead kissed you open mouthed - the taste of your arousal was still present on his tongue. in the back of your mind, you thought about how dirty it was and yet so thrilling, eliciting a hunger for him. desperately, you were tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off. you were struggling, huffing in frustration as he didn’t budge. choso laughed, pecking your lips apologetically before taking it off along with his pants. even in the dim light you could make out the bulge in his pants, a testament of much he wanted you. the sight made you salivate, your pussy clenching around nothing. he took notice of your dazed look, grabbing your chin to tilt it up. “are you sure you want this? do you want me?”

you nodded quickly, eyes widening at his question. “of course, i want you, never wanted anything more. please, choso.”

“you have me, all of me,” he retorted, a tender look in his eyes. again, your heart clenched. just one more time you would get to see him like this, pretend he really was your lover. but when he looked at you with so much adoration in his eyes, it was hard to believe that there wasn’t a spark between you. unbeknownst to you, choso had always looked at you with stars in his eyes, hoping that you would return the sentiment. no matter how hard he was keeping his feelings at bay, the cracks were widening, allowing more and more feelings to seep through. with each touch, each word that you exchanged, the dam was weakening and threatening to spill everything that he was keeping inside.

choso gently pressed you back down onto the mattress, fingers fumbling with the condom that he’d pulled out of his jeans. you watched with fascination as he put it on, not being able to take your gaze of it. he grinned, deciding to indulge you, pressing his cock against you. arousal was still leaking from you, allowing him to easily slide against you. deliberately, he nudged the head against your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore. you wiggled your hips, signaling him to do something, do put you out of your misery. choso glanced at you for permission, suddenly seeming to be nervous himself. you gave him a small nod, leaning up to cradle his cheeks and kiss him. choso began to push, slowly slipping past your folds and- the stretching burn, it was there again and made you tense up.

choso grasped your hands, intertwining them and showered your face with kisses, whispering sweet nothings and encouragement. the feeling was familiar and yet strange at the same time, the girth of his fingers were nothing compared to his cock. it was a tight fit; you were aware of him, so aware of him. muffled, you heard choso telling you to relax, that he didn’t want to hurt you, to take your time. he was still pushing, distracting you from the uncomfortable pain with kisses. with one last thrust, he’s pushed the entirety of him in you. faintly, you could feel pain gradually ebbing away. the fullness of him, the throbbing; you clenched around him, a quiet moan leaving your lips as choso’s hips jerk in response.

“you okay? can i move now?” he whispered against your lips. you nodded, feeling choso smile against your lips. your breath hitched in anticipation as he pulls out ever so slightly before thrusting back in. you let out a whimper at the sudden thrum of incoming pleasure, hands squeezing his. choso thrusted his length in and out of you slowly, still wanting you to get used to it. the drag of it against your walls, the way his cock ever so slightly bumped against that spot inside of you that made your body sing - you sobbed out his name, hips tilting up to meet his movements. choso had no qualms obliging to your unspoken wants, upping the pace once he’s made sure you felt comfortable.

slowly, his inhibitions fell apart upon seeing you desperately cling onto him, moaning out his name as he pulled out and drove back in, deeper than before. you saw stars when he hit the spot inside of you, burying himself inside of you completely. it’s been a short amount of time but choso was quick to figure out what made you shake in pleasure in particular, memorizing every little nudge and wiggle that would have you gasp out his name. the closeness, the intimacy, it easily beat everything else that you’ve ever done before but it was now that you realized that no one could compare to choso. while your initial goal was to simply learn and gain some experience, somewhere along the way, you veered off the path. perhaps your goal was never to find out what it was like engaging in sexual activities but rather to experience it with someone you loved. it was then that you realized you didn’t care about these things unless you could experience them with choso.

while choso was no stranger to having people in his bed, the sight of you was one he would never be able to get out of his head again. how your moans and whimpers were getting more frequent with each thrust, how you were sobbing his name whenever he hit particularly deep inside of you, how your small hands were holding onto his, how you clenched around him whenever he praised you. he wanted to keep you for himself, to impale himself in you in such ways that you could never look at other people the same way anymore. “i- i’m close,” you hiccuped between sobs, back lurching from the bed. “choso, p- please, i wanna cum, i-”

“i’ve got you, princess,” he assured you, diving down to kiss you feverishly. relentlessly, his hips pistoned against yours, desperate to make you cum. choso couldn’t hold back any longer, he was close, so close. wanting to cum with you, he reached down to rub your clit. your reaction was almost instantaneous, legs pressing against his side as you came, his name on your lips like a prayer. he came with you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as groans left his lips, mixed with your name and curses. his hips stuttered as they pressed against you one last time, staying in place until he’s spilled all of him in the condom. you felt like you were floating, still dazed from the intensity of your orgasm. absentmindedly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, hand absentmindedly playing with the hair at his nape. choso let out a noise, akin to a cat’s purr, nudging his head against your hand. his gesture made you giggle and you strained your neck to press a kiss against his forehead.

slowly, choso removed himself from you, letting out a breathy laugh as you protested. you made grabby hands at him but he simply tutted, disappearing in the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a wet towel. it felt comforting, the warmth of the towel as well as his gentle touches, lulling you into a sleepy state. it didn’t take long for him to join you again once he was done, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest like the countless times he’s done so before. “how are you feeling? i didn’t hurt you, did i?”

you shook your head, trying to find the right words. in the end, nothing came into your mind to appropriately tell him how mind blowingly good he made you feel so you just settle with: “felt good, really good. didn’t hurt, jus’ felt uncomfortable at first. but you made it okay, it’s okay when it’s with you.”

“i see,” choso let out a relieved breath, laughing as you blinked at him stunned. you looked adorable, still floating and coming down from your high. “i’m glad i was your first, glad i could do it justice. just wanted you to feel good.”

“mhmm, thank you,” you slurred sleepily, arms wrapping around his waist. you felt so warm and loved, not wanting to let go of the feeling just yet. “can we do it again some other day? you promised to show me what you still wanted to do to me.”

“y/n, sweetheart, when will you be coming to visit us again? i know it’s your summer break right now and you’re busy but we thought it might be nice to go on a short family trip. what do you think?” your mother pleaded over the phone. you could see her pout on the screen, her attempt at guilt tripping you into visiting more. truthfully, you felt bad about not having been able to see your family so much - the amount of assignments and final exams was swamping you and you just wanted to get through them before going on vacation. that and the fact that you couldn’t properly look them in the eyes anymore ever since being with choso.

you just couldn’t let go of him, nor could you admit your feelings to him, in fear it would make him uncomfortable. it was irrational, reckless even, to keep paying for a service you technically didn’t need anymore. simply to keep a person you had feelings for around for longer. nobara and maki didn’t know about this either, you knew they would have your head as soon as you confessed. it was irrational and you knew it. and yet it was so hard to let go. with every waking moment, you craved choso, his tenderness and loving gaze, the warmth of his arms, the domesticity that the two of you shared, how natural it seemed when you spent time together. and so you kept returning to him, over and over again

“i’m sorry, mum, i’m just really busy right now. but i promise i’ll let you know when i’m free, okay? i’m sure we can find a fitting date for the trip,” you attempted to soothe your mother, giving her an apologetic smile. she rolled her eyes at you playfully but shrugged it off, knowing that you didn’t mean anything by it. before you could tell her goodbye, your mother suddenly stopped you, waving at the screen.

“sweetheart, one of my friends- her son, i told him about you. he’s a very nice young man and i think you would get along well. when you come visit us, i’ll introduce him to you, yeah?” she explained, a giddy smile creeping onto her lips. “i’ve told him a little about you and your father doesn’t mind either. he has a good background too, i’m trying not to swoon.” she giggled as if she was the one who was to be set up on a date with him.

your eyes widened ever so slightly at her revelation but what shocked you more was that choso had seemingly heard what your mother had said. he was still sleeping when your mother had called you, so you hid in the kitchen to talk, not wanting to disturb his sleep. he stood in the doorway, blinking at you confused. you made sure to turn a little so your mother couldn’t see him. “mum, i told you i’m not really interested yet and want to go at my own pace-”

“honey, i know but the opportunity was just there. i couldn’t pass it up and you can still reject him, no? just try to meet him at least once.”

you sighed. “we’ll talk about it again when i’m home, okay? but don’t put too much hope in it, please.”

“i know, i know. i’ll talk to you again another day. love you, sweetheart,” your mum said goodbye to you and hung up. you groaned, tossing your phone to the side and buried your face in your hands. choso was not supposed to hear any of that. even though you two weren’t really in a relationship, and he had assured you that he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, keeping his work at accompanying clients only, you still felt like you were somewhat betraying him. you felt choso’s presence moving behind you, then his arms wrapping around you, his chin being placed on your head. you couldn’t see the slightly irritated look in his eyes, the jealous glint that told you he didn’t want you to look at anyone but him.

“your mum seems to be eager to find you a partner,” he commented amused. you groaned, swatting at his arm.

“i don’t know why they’re suddenly so persistent after not deeming anyone as suitable for years,” grumbling, you turned slightly, pressing a kiss to choso’s chin. “i’m not really in the mood to go on dates just yet, so she’ll have to deal with it.”

“not in the mood for dates?” choso echoed, pinching your cheek. “not even with me?”

you whined, burying your face in his chest. you didn’t want to let him see how his words excited you. “no, i’m always in the mood for you, for dates with you.”

“that’s good to know. we’re going out later after all,” choso laughed, combing his fingers through your hair. “i did promise to take you to the beach and teach you how to surf.”

one of the reasons you didn’t come visit your parents immediately when your summer break began was because you’d already planned a short trip with choso. weeks ago choso had proposed you’d go to the beach together and you were thrilled by the idea, not having been by the sea in years. you’d rented a little cabin by the beach for the two of you while choso had prepared everything for the car ride. the car ride would be rather long but you weren’t worried about it at all - in the beginning, you’d been apprehensive, rather awkward with him. he eased you into everything, showing you not to be scared of relationships and to just be yourself. conversation was easy with him as if you’d been long term friends, with no worries or restrictions. for weeks, you’d looked forward to the trip, to spend more time with him.

the car ride was filled with laughter and calming music, you shared stories and secrets with each other, you fed him the snacks that you’d made the night before. you felt blissful, happily ignoring all the consequences that might be coming your way - you wanted to enjoy your time with him as much as you could. the dance that the two of you were engaging in, it was romantic and felt so domestic, while skirting around the important issue. inspecting your intertwined hands, you clasped your other free hand around his, rubbing the skin gently. choso shot you a concerned, questioning look but you brushed him off, assuring that nothing was wrong. “i’m just happy to be sharing this uh… boyfriend experience with you, really. i wouldn’t wanna do it with someone else.”

choso shot you a wistful smile, lifting your hand to press a kiss on it. “i’m glad you feel that way. you deserve only the best, someone who treats you like the princess that you are.”

the feeling of the grainy sand below you, wind blowing your hair in every direction, sun on your skin, water splashing against your shins - you felt like suddenly all your worries were washed away. you were still running through the shallow water, giggling as you saw choso catching up on you. upping your speed, you jumped through the water until he managed to grab you by your wrist, pulling you into his chest. he lifted you up, twirling you around in his arms a few times before setting you back on your feet, leaning in to kiss you. “you can’t just run away like that, all our stuff is still stranded over there,” he scolded you, playfully flicking your forehead. you glanced behind you, seeing how choso had already placed all the towels, cooler and bags on the beach chairs.

“it’s okay, we have the beach to ourselves anyways,” you retorted cheekily. choso couldn’t argue, instead rolled his eyes. the beach house that you had rented for the weekend was on the outskirts of the city, a rather quiet spot that also had a private beach. the paranoia that your parents might possibly spot you somewhere was running deep and so you didn’t want to risk anything. choso could teach you how to surf in peace, without any bystanders or crowded spaces. but now that you were sitting on the beach chair, you noticed that choso’s mind seemed to be elsewhere as he clumsily fumbled with the bags. you gnawed at your bottom lip, hoping that your earlier conversation with your mother wasn’t on his mind.

“you okay there? can i help you with anything?”

“huh? yeah,” choso answered after a second of processing, shaking his head. “uh i just get distracted looking at you. you look good in that bikini.”

“oh shut up,” you retorted but hid your face from him, still growing bashful even though you were used to him complimenting you out of nowhere. he shot you a wink, resuming his work. “but… choso, you can talk to me if anything bothers you, you know that?”

“yeah, i know… but don’t worry, i think this is something i have to figure out for myself first before i tell anyone,” he padded over, kissing your forehead. “but i appreciate it.”

deciding to drop the topic, you joined him, watching how he demonstrated his surfing skills. if he didn’t want to talk about it, you would respect it; and maybe, just maybe, he would open up to you about it. you watched as choso surfed through the waves, the sight filling you with bright happiness. he looked so happy to be surfing again, the usual tired look on his face wiped away as if it had never been there in the first place. he looked like he was truly at home, comforted and surrounded by the crashing waves. you understood what he meant by being distracted - choso looked good in his trunks as well, the water drops that were rolling down his body, his exposed upper body, the way his loose, slightly damp hair was falling over his face. you very much enjoyed the sight and almost felt creepy for staring so much.

as per usual, choso was a wonderful teacher, remaining calm and patient while he gave you instructions, comforting you when you weren’t doing so well and was always right by your side encouraging you. you hadn’t had this much fun in a while, especially not with someone other than from your close friend circle. it was easy to lose the track of time when being with him, all your thoughts and anxieties washed away like the seashells at the shore. by the end of the day, you were utterly exhausted, your muscles feeling like jelly. as you laid on the bed, you still felt like you were rocked and swayed back and forth by the waves. it was relaxing, almost lulling you into a deep slumber if it wasn’t for the sound of the running shower and choso’s humming. you opened the window, before returning to bed, wrapping the blanket around you. the sound of waves sloshing against the shore echoed through the room, making you feel like you were actually sleeping at the beach.

it didn’t take long for choso to return; you felt the bed dip beside you before you heard him. pretending to be asleep, you waited until he said anything but were instead greeted with a kiss on your nape. you squirmed a little, the feelings of his lips tickling the sensitive skin. a giggle broke from your lips, unable to stay silent any longer. “did i make you wait for too long?” he asked quietly, grabbing you by the hips to turn you around to face him. you shook your head and gave him a smile, leaning in to peck his lips. “no but i did miss you. did i tell you that i now get what you meant by being distracted? you looked really hot in your trunks and so serious while giving me instructions.”

“ah, really?” choso hovered over you, placing his hands beside your head. you’d only offered simple compliments but he was already so fired up, making you grin. “you can’t just tell me that and expect me not to do anything. don’t you know that i’m always hungry for you? i’ll ravish you right here.”

“what if i want you to ravish me?” you bravely retorted, your voice slightly cracking at the end. rarely were you ever bold with him but at this moment, you might as well indulge him. as an reward for teaching you how to surf and being so patient about it. choso clicked with his tongue, pleased with your reply. before he could move, you suddenly felt an urge to go further, wanting to be the one to initiate intercourse for once. you placed your hands on his chest, pushing gently. he looked at you confused, cocking his head to the side. if it wasn’t for the hungry look in his eyes, you would’ve cooed at how adorable he looked. “uhm can i… suck you off for today? i mean you’re always the one who- who makes me feel so good and i know you said you liked it but i just wanted to return the favour…”

choso short circuited at your request, momentarily leaving his mouth wide open as he stared at you. “y- yeah of course, if that’s what you want,” he spluttered hastily, sitting up on his knees. feeling giddy, you shuffled off the bed, positioning yourself at the edge of the bed and waiting for him to move. choso gulped, slowly moving towards the edge. he leaned down to kiss you, your hands snaked towards the waistband of his sweatpants, some doubt overcame you again, slowing your movements. sensing your hesitation, he patted your head and ruffled your hair. “you don’t have to do it, if you feel too nervous about it.”

“no, i want to, really,” you assured him, grasping the waistband and dragging it down. choso lifted his hips slightly, helping you remove his pants. his boxers followed soon after. gently, you wrapped your hands around his semi-hard cock, giving it some gentle strokes. choso exhaled shakily, leaning back on his hands as he kept his watchful eyes on you. you leaned in, flattening your tongue against the underside, running your tongue over the underside, tracing it until you reached the cockhead. gingerly, you gave it a few kitten licks before wrapping your lips around it. hands still stroking him, you delved in, taking as much as much as you could. choso tilted his head back, moaning loudly. it spurred you on, eagerly you bopped your head against him, paying close attention to the sensitive head as you licked and sucked at it. curiously, you licked the slit, tasting the precum on it. the taste was unfamiliar, nothing like you’d ever had before but you weren’t sure what to make of it. but you weren’t grossed out by it, thankfully.

choso’s hips jerked when you touched a particularly sensitive spot, not being able to control his own body anymore. usually, he was more composed, holding himself back for the sake of you - immediately, he stopped and apologized, staring at you with wide eyes. “fuck, i’m so sorry, that wasn’t meant to happen. did i hurt you?” he cupped your cheek, guiltily examining you.

“‘m okay, don’t worry about it. it just surprised me a little, that’s all. but if it’s what you like… i uh, don’t mind,” you reassured him.

“f- fuck, you can’t just say that because i will and-”

“like i said, i don’t mind. i want to make you feel good too.” reluctantly, choso nodded and relaxed again, letting you proceed. you were eager to make him cum, enthusiastically moving your head along the shaft. you welcomed choso’s shallow thrusts, glancing up to watch his reactions. his skin was beautifully flushed, eyes were closed, groans muffled as he bit his bottom lip. you struggled to take his cock in deeper, instead wrapping your hands around the parts you couldn’t reach. when choso’s thrusts got sloppier, you could tell that he was getting close.

“y/n, fuck- i’m gonna- wait, you-” unable to finish his sentence, he moaned, hips stuttering again as you swirled your tongue around the sensitive tip. you suckled on his length eagerly, hands pumping the base faster and choso couldn’t keep it in any longer, coming with a loud moan. you continued suckling on the tip, helping him through his orgasm until he’s spilled all of him in your mouth. sitting back on your knees, you removed yourself from him.

eyes wide and glossy, you looked up at him as he pulled away slightly so he could look at you. choso brushed your hair back, then lifted your chin up, tapping your bottom lip. "show me," he said in a low, hoarse voice, patiently waiting until you opened your mouth and showed him. showed him his cum that was still pooling on your tongue. a few seconds passed until he finally reacted - just the sight of you on your knees, obediently following his orders and showing him your work had his insides stirring with something dark, possessive. "swallow," he whispered, adoringly cupping your cheek as you eagerly swallowed. your face felt hot, whether by embarrassment or pride, you didn't know. quietly cursing, he pulled you up while leaning down, meeting your lips halfway.

unceremoniously, choso dropped you on the bed, making you giggle quietly as you bounced on the mattress. hovering over you, he captured your lips in yet another kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him to your body. choso pressed his groin against yours, experimentally rolling his hips to elicit a reaction from you. burying your face into the crook of his neck, you couldn’t help but writhe from the pleasure - and even though you’ve been sleeping with each other, you still felt too shy to ask him for… more. how could you express what exactly you wanted when you were craving all of him? when you wanted to engrave everything into your brain; the feeling of his body against yours, his touch, the sweet as well as the dirty words he whispered into your ear. it was almost unfair how easily he could draw a reaction from you, as if he’d memorized every little aspect about you already.

choso nipped at your neck, about to leave a mark when you frantically pushed at his chest. “no visible marks, i told you!” you reminded him, almost feeling bad when you saw his disappointed face. but rules were rules, you didn’t want your parents to find out you were sneaking around with someone; you were barely able to look into their eyes as is. he huffed against your neck, burying his face in the crook of your neck in frustration. seconds passed without a reaction before he finally sat up on his knees, hands reaching out to tug on your shirt. “but everywhere else is fine, hm?” he mused, dragging his warm hands across your chest to your shoulder to push the fabric off.

“i- i guess,” you spluttered, barely having any time to react as he’s already moved on, lavishing your breasts with kisses while leaving a trail of hickeys on them. you whimpered, hips rolling up against his. through your panties, you could feel the outlines of his cock; the anticipation of him filling you up made you salivate. choso was quick to remove your panties and rolling a condom on upon hearing your desperate whimpers that were urging him to move faster. no matter how many times you’d already slept together, he could never get enough of you - you made him feel like a teenager again, like he was constantly insatiable and hungry for you. judging from the look in your eyes, you seemed to feel the same way.

choso angled his cock against your entrance before sinking in, moaning in unison with you. he grasped your hands, pinning them against the pillows as you reached out, trying to touch him. you sobbed in disappointment, just wanting to feel him but choso was having none of it. the complaint was quickly forgotten when he started thrusting, the sound of his hips smacking against yours filling the room. he was diligent, hitting that spot inside you over and over again, enjoying how your legs that were wrapped around his waist were trembling. you were drowning, drowning in him, in the pleasure he so graciously provided you. choso painted your chest with marks, placing them dangerously close to where they would be peeking out underneath clothes. he knew you didn’t want anyone to see them but fuck, he wanted people to keep their hands away from you, wanted them to know that you were his.

you sung his praises, hips quickly bucking against his as he buries himself in you to the hilt. he filled you up so well, always dragging against your walls so deliciously. almost feral, choso fucked you harder, putting all his frustrations and emotions into the strength of his thrusts. it left you feeling breathless, clenching around him hard as you climbed higher and higher. never had choso fucked you like this before, like he was trying to prove something - you sobbed, tears springing forth from the intensity. it felt good, so good and you wanted to cum so bad, wanted to release. the pleasant warmth was spreading throughout your body, almost unbearably hot as you neared your climax. it erupted within you explosively, leaving you writhing in a babbling, incoherent mess. for many moments, your orgasm wrecked through you, making you see white and stars. in your euphoria, you didn’t notice how choso had cummed with you, whispering sweet praises in your ear as he rode you through your high. you didn’t notice how he disappeared, returning with a wet towel as per usual, how he kisses away the tears at the corner of your eyes. through your hazy mind, you could tell that he wrapped the blanket around you before disappearing again.

it took you a while to return back to your senses, marvelling about the sex you just had. what had possessed choso in that moment? could it be because you’d offered to suck him off? or was he so pent up the entire day? the click of the door made you lift your head towards the source of the sound, cooing when you saw choso padding towards you. he yawned quietly, crawling under the blanket and wrapping his arms around you. "exhausted?" you questioned him, nuzzling into him.

"mhmm, i feel like i could sleep in until noon tomorrow," as usual, he ran his fingers along your spine, drawing shapes on your back. sometimes you thought you could feel him spelling something out on your skin but the touches were always so fleeting that it was impossible for you to make it out. whatever it was, he must've been too wary or scared to share it with you. you were reminded of your earlier conversation - choso still hadn't said anything so you wanted to bring it up, not wanting any issues to arise between you.

"choso? do you want to talk about what was wrong earlier? i know you said you wanted to think about it, but i was wondering…"

choso interrupted you. "are you going to go on a date with the guy that your mum mentioned this morning?"

you shot him a bewildered look. so he had been thinking about it. you hesitated, not sure what to tell him. should you be upfront and tell him how you feel? or give him a mild version, so he didn't feel cornered by you?

"i'm… i'm not sure yet. the thought of going on a date with someone else is kind of daunting but i think i'll do it just so my mum's happy."

"i see." uncomfortable silence seeped between the two of you. you could tell that choso was irritated, the frown on his face clearly indicating it. and yet, he didn't elaborate, leaving you to figure out what he meant by that. not daring to move, you stayed still, waiting for him to continue. choso sighed, placing his forehead against yours. "i think this is selfish of me but i can't stand the thought of seeing you with someone else. i wish… i wish it was only me that you looked at."

"you don't want me to go on a date with him?"

"yeah. i- i can't tell you why that is. it's selfish and dumb, hence why i didn't want to tell you. and it's not something that you should worry about. i'm just your escort after all, there's nothing more between us."

his words stung. even though it was the truth, the words still stung, driving a knife right into your heart. it was the very thing that nobara and maki had warned you about. but here you were, heart breaking in a million pieces. perhaps it was the fact that choso didn't tell you the reason, didn't seem to trust you with it, that made you recoil immediately. the walls around your heart were immediately put back into place, safeguarding you from any further harm. he wasn’t obligated to tell you anything and you knew that - there was probably also another reason why he felt that way. any further digging would probably make him recoil as well, it wouldn’t do you any good. whatever was growing between you, it had to stop now. choso simply saw you as a client, probably had been this entire time. again, you were reminded of the fact that he might have been acting this entire time, none of the affection he showed you ever being real.

“i- yeah… i guess,” you replied dejectedly, looking away from him. “i’ll figure it out with him, don’t worry. i’ll just keep my mum happy with it, there’s nothing more to it.”

choso bit his lip, refraining from replying to it any further. you already knew more than you were ever supposed to, he should have never let it slip that he didn’t like seeing you with other potential love interests. it pained him to keep this hidden, keep it a secret from you - but the less you knew, the better. he couldn’t imagine you being okay with being in a relationship with him while he was still an escort, nor did he think that your parents would be thrilled about it. from what you’d revealed to him, he could tell that they treasured you and wanted to minimize any possible harm as much as possible. and that included hand-picking a suitable partner for you. he might never be what your parents envisioned for you and he might never become your love interest so every session that you booked was a blessing to him.

sighing, he placed one last kiss on your cheek before wishing you a good night. but even when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he was wide awake, not being able to stop the onslaught of thoughts.

weeks passed without you ever contacting choso again. your resolve would have never been this strong, hadn’t nobara intervened. while you were moping and still feeling restless, helpless even, she made sure to delete his number and made you take care of the bills before cutting off contact entirely. normally, she would have commented on it - but seeing how you were struggling through your first heartbreak, she decided to let it be. and because maki wouldn’t have hesitated to have her head if you’d ever snitched. maki had encouraged you to take your mind off things, dragging you along to some of the sports classes she attended. it did lift your mood ever so slightly, much to your surprise, it was more fun that you’d originally anticipated. maki attended so many different classes that seemed so intense that you were scared to join at first. in between the classes, you spent more time with your friends. gradually you opened up to them, explaining them the entire issue with choso and how you had struggled to let go. you told them one by one, until it was finally time to let megumi know.

out of everyone, megumi scared you the most - not because he was intimidating or violent but because you knew how he would react. he’d most definitely be upset about it because he was protective over his friends, not wanting them to be harmed in any way. you’d pleaded that at least nobara should tag along to knock some sense into him, should he snap - but megumi’s reaction surprised you. when you finished your story, he was awfully quiet. you assumed he was boiling in anger, reaching out to appease him but he was frowning, making a contemplative face. “uh listen, i think that choso’s yuuji’s brother.”

“he’s what?” nobara’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. megumi had recently started going out with someone that he’d met during work and though he hadn’t introduced you to said person yet, you did know that his name was yuuji.

“yuuji’s brother. i haven’t met him yet but he’s been complaining about his brother for weeks now,” megumi explained, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “choso’s an escort, right? it has to be yuuji’s brother. i’ve stayed over at yuuji’s place a couple of times… yuuji was venting, asking me about advice on how to get his brother out of a rut. apparently, choso’s been affected by this uh… somewhat breakup as well. yuuji’s suggested to him that he should reach out to you to talk but he said something about his work and your parents...”

“huh. what an interesting coincidence…” nobara mumbled but narrowed her eyes at you. “but you’re not going back to him, right?”

all the blood in your body froze. why had choso brought up your parents? they had never been a part of your relationship, you had only told him how overprotective they were and how they liked choosing your partners and friends for you. could it be?

“no, i don’t think so. i’m… very conflicted about our feelings to each other. it was stupid to give into my feelings for him in the first place. i hired someone to act as my fake boyfriend, someone who does this for a living. i think they know better than to catch feelings for their clients,” you sighed frustrated, shaking your head. there was no way in hell this situation could ever turn back around, even if you now knew that choso had also been affected. and still, he never reached out to me, you thought bitterly.

“i think you should talk it out though, if he does reach out to you,” megumi chimed in, awkwardly patting your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “from what yuuji’s told me, it does seem like his feelings are genuine. he didn’t outright push you away, right? who knows what could happen?”

in the end, you couldn’t help but confess to your parents. secrets were bound to be revealed one way or another and you figured it was better you opened up before they found out from someone else. the uncomfortable silence that spread through your apartment created a gloomy atmosphere; the tension was thick and palpable, making you shuffle in your seat in unease. your father hadn’t uttered any word while your mother had completely lost it, not understanding why you hadn’t instead chosen one of the boys she’d always introduced you to.

“all this time you were seeing this boy? and not once did you let us know. i could have asked my friend if they knew someone, their sons are so nice-”

“mum, i already told you i wanted to find someone on my own without having my options being presented to me on a silver plate. and you’re always so disappointed when i end up rejecting them after going through all of the hassle,” you interrupted her, giving her a defiant look. it wasn’t often that you opposed your parents like this but you felt like it was needed - your mother didn’t understand you, nor did she try. you were an adult, for fuck’s sake. you were very much capable of making your own decisions and mistakes to learn from.

“and yet you went to hire an escort! why didn’t you go and meet some of your classmates? i don’t understand why you went such lengths and then even ended up falling in love with them! how would you even pursue a relationship with them?” your mother seethed at you, knuckles blanching from how hard she was gripping her handbag. your father placed a hand on hers, whispering some soothing words in her ear.

“darling, i think y/n knows well that she’s made a mistake and is hurting from it. we don’t need to add to the stress, do we?” he assured her, then looking at you. “y/n, you know that i’m disappointed in you as well. but i don’t blame you for it, i think it’s partly my fault that you felt the need to hire an escort just to… gain some experience. i did take away all your possibilities of a relationship after all…”

“don’t encourage her! this problem won’t just be solved by you spoiling her again, do you know what kind of consequences it could h-”

a loud knock interrupted your mother’s rambling. you were confused - you didn’t expect anyone else for today. it was too late for someone to bring packages. who could it be? you excused yourself, padding towards the door to see who it was. you swore that you briefly suffered from a heart attack when the door swung open to reveal choso. he stared at you equally as stunned, seemingly not having expected you to open and greet him. “w- what are you doing here?” you asked, hating how shaky your voice sounded. how your heart soared, having missed his presence around you. the feelings had never been properly buried, only hidden by a thin layer of pretense that was now quickly being washed away.

“i’m sorry for just turning up unannounced… i was hoping- hoping to be able to talk to you for a bit? i wanted to explain myself,” choso replied, unaware of the two persons in your apartment that were straining their necks to be able to get a look at him.

you groaned. why now? the timing was just too comical, fate must really hate you. “i’m sorry, my parents are here right now. maybe, another t-”

“aha, so this is the boy my daughter has been sleeping with,” your mother appeared behind you, snarling at choso maliciously. panicking, your father had followed her quickly, holding her back by her arm. “you have some nerve appearing here as if nothing happened, what is it that you-”

“darling.” your father cleared his voice, shooting daggers at her. “there’s no need to be rude.”

swiftly, he introduced himself and your mother to choso, politely shaking his hand. choso remained calm, as usual, and introduced himself as well. if he was shocked by the entire ordeal, he sure didn’t show it. his face remained a perfect poker face, no emotions seeping through. “i wanted to talk to your daughter, ma’am. i assume she’s told you about our relationship and how we broke apart. there is no ulterior motive here, i just wanted to explain myself and talk it out.”

“that’s-!”

your father interrupted your mother again, not giving her another opportunity to spit venom at choso. “i think that is a good idea. though she has not opened up about everything, i can tell that she is hurting as much as you are. i believe a discussion would be very productive. but what is your intention? what are you going to do once you’ve explained yourself?”

suddenly, you felt like you were forgotten or invisible in the entire discussion. were they ignoring you? you were standing right there and yet no one was addressing you. you huffed, trying to pull their focus back on you. “nothing’s gonna happen, dad. there was nothing for us to work with and there won’t be.”

choso felt like he’d been slapped. he didn’t know what to make of your reaction but he came here for one reason only: to give you the closure that you deserved and he wasn’t going to leave until he accomplished just that. “i intend to apologize to her. judging from your wife’s reaction, you don’t seem to like me very much. i can’t imagine you would ever accept me, i know i don’t live up to your standards. i don’t deserve your daughter, she deserves so much more than what i can offer. and i’m aware of it. but if she’s willing to have me, i’ll try my very best to live up to your standards, to prove myself to you. i just want to be with her and make her happy. i’m in love with her and that’s what i intended to tell her.”

your heart stopped at his confession. all this time, choso loved you? megumi had been right all along. choso returned your feelings and he was here, so close and yet so far. dread filled you as you realized your parents could possibly drive him away, make him disappear from your life with just a snap of their fingers. you cherished choso more than you were aware of, the adoration running deep in your veins even when you were trying to reject him.

“i see. that’s reason enough for me. we’ve already let her have a piece of our mind, i don’t think she needs more telling off. my little girl has grown so much and it’s time to let her make her own decisions, growing and mistakes,” your father shot your mother a look. she’d calmed down, choso’s explanation seemingly having brought her back to her senses. she looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “we’ll let you deal with this. but know that if she does take you back, i won’t go easy on you, alright? the bars are high and i don’t intend to lower them just because you love her. prove to me, that you’re worthy of her.”

“i will,” choso sounded so sure and confident that it made your father grin - you sure had found someone who took great care of you and wasn’t afraid to stand tall in front of your father. and that he liked, someone who wasn’t scared to back down from a challenge, someone who would be the perfect partner for you. as your parents said goodbye and left, he gave choso a pat on the shoulder before exiting the apartment, leaving the two of you to your own devices.

you didn’t know what to say, how to start. standing in the hallway was awkward but you couldn’t move just yet, instead wanting to hear what he had to say first. “you love me?” you croaked, your voice failing you. now that your parents were gone, you could freely show your emotions, not being able to hold the tears back any longer. choso panicked, fussing over you as you started to cry. furiously, you wiped the tears away with the sleeves of your sweater.

“i do. i uhm wish i had found a better way to tell you this. i figured that you probably thought that everything we did was simply a facade but i promise you that it was all real. i don’t know when exactly but i started falling for you along the way and it was hard… to remind myself that you were a client and i was just there to provide the service to you, you know? i had no right to get mad at you if you decided to go and see other people. and i wasn’t sure of your feelings for me, it was…” choso trailed off, struggling to find the right word but you knew what he meant and nodded, signaling him to continue. “i just didn’t want to tie you to me when you… when you might not like me back or even want to be with an escort.”

you sniffled quietly, wrapping your arms around him immediately, with such a speed that it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. confused, choso wrapped his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin and rubbing your back soothingly. he was relieved that you didn’t push him away at least and let him explain everything in one go. he felt more at ease now and was at peace with the decision to immediately leave and never butt in your life again in case you rejected him.

“all this time, i also loved you,” you mumbled, an upset frown on your face. “i- i just kept thinking that you’d never return my feelings and that you were just playing boyfriend because i hired you to do so and-”

you hiccuped, another sob tearing from your throat.

“when you told me not to go on that date and immediately followed it with you only being my escort and nothing more, it hurt me so much and i know it was stupid and childish of me to react in such a way but… i was just spiraling, i love you so much and didn’t know where to place the anxieties and negative feelings.”

choso shushed you quietly when your sobs grew more frequent and you let him pick you up, clinging onto him as he walked over to the couch and sat on it with you on his lap. “shh, you’re okay, we’re okay,” he mumbled against the crown of your head, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i’m sorry i hurt you so much, i was not aware that you already liked me back then and that my words would have such an effect on you.”

over and over, choso apologized quietly until you calmed down, slumping against his chest. you stayed silent, trying to piece your thoughts and feelings back together so as to present him with a coherent and logical question. your mind was in shambles and you hoped that choso would at least get what you were hinting at. “so w- what do we do now? where do we- we go from here?”

“as i’ve already told your dad… if you’ll have me, i’ll make it up to you, all the hurt that i’ve caused you. i love you, so much. i want to be your boyfriend, and this time officially.”

“i like the sound of it,” you mumbled, tilting your head back to look at him. “will you be my boyfriend?”

“it would be an honour, princess.”

with a kiss, choso sealed the deal, easily catapulting you back on cloud nine. who would have thought that the escort you’d hired to be your fake boyfriend would turn out to be the prince charming you had always hoped for, surpassing even your wildest dreams and expectations. choso was everything you wanted and more - he was the person you wanted to wake up to every morning, the person you wanted to come home to. he was the person with whom you wanted to spend your life with, the person that loved you so unconditionally and never expected anything in return. you were lucky that he chose you, that he loved you back. out of all the persons in the universe, it was him.

he was perfect and he was yours.

p.s.: if you've made it until the end: thank you so much for reading!