#2022 round up

[pebblysand]

[books of 2022]

this is long overdue (i mean, it's april, but sure look) but i wanted to hop on here and do a little bit of a wrap-up of the books i read last year. i will say this: i am not (at the moment) a "voracious" reader. since the pandemic, i've struggled to find time to read - partly because i used to read whilst traveling, and i didn't do much of that in the past few years, and partly because i've been writing a lot, and i've always found it hard to do both at the same time. i must admit i find the #booktok girlies who read hundreds of books a year particularly unrelatable, but i did get through ten books last year (and DNF-ed three) so, i'll happily talk about those.

READ:

enfant de salaud by sorj chalandon (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: this isn't in english i know no one on here will read it, but sorj chalandon is and will always be one of my favourite writers in the world, and honestly the only french writer whose books i actually read voluntarily. i think what i like about sorj chalandon is that he's not only a fantastic fiction writer (his style - omg! his style ❤️), he's also a war reporter. as such, there's always a lot of "wars" in his books, either figurative or literal, which is obviously a topic i find incredibly interesting. this book is set in the 80s and centres on a reporter who is covering the klaus barbie trial in france, as well as coming to terms with his relationship with his father, who is a pathological liar. i really liked both aspects of the book. the klaus barbie trial story gave me a lot of food for thought for castles at a time when i was planning/writing the wizarding war trials, and the personal story was super interesting. i gave this a four-star because it's not my favourite book of his (retour a killybegs is) but i thoroughly enjoyed this.

au guet-apens by maître mô (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [non-fiction]: another french book (sorry ^^) but this one was probably my favourite read of 2022. it made me laugh, it made me cry. maître mô was a french lawyer specialising in criminal law who got somewhat "twitter famous" in the 2010s for talking about the reality of his criminal law practice (the good, the bad, the ugly) - always with a lot of empathy, humour, and humanity. he passed away from lung cancer in 2020 and a compilation of his best blog (he also had a blog) posts was published, and i was very glad to be able to read it. there are so many funny and tragic human stories in there, and a beauty in the idea that everyone (yes everyone) is owed a criminal defence. i would so very much recommend it to anyone who has ever wanted to ask the question: 'how can you defend them?' the writing is gorgeous and i think it's the kind of book that strangely gives you faith in humanity again.

men explain things to me by rebecca solnit (⭐️) [non-fiction]: i hated this book so much i wrote a tumblr rant about it. i'm still angry i wasted my precious time skimming through it until the end. i refuse to give it another minute of my time. the one star is for the quality of the paper it was printed on.

none of this is serious by catherine prasifka (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: i picked this up in the shop a bit at random, but i really, really liked this book. it's a bit of a concept (the main character never speaks out loud, all you ever get is her internal monologue), but it's a concept that works. it also tackles very well that awkward time between finishing university and getting your first job, and how powerless and scary it all feels. minor tw for sexual assault there, but i truly enjoyed this. the writing style was very much my jam (present tense and not trying too hard) and again, i really loved the concept. i do feel like it could have done without the sci-fi element but i liked how chronically online the main character was (#relatable). i loved how there's just so much talk around her, and while you always know what she thinks, you never know what she actually says. would definitely recommend!

we had to remove this post by hanna bervoets (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: i've spoken about this book on here a lot already but again, i really, really loved it. this was probably my runner-up favourite, the only thing i have against it is that it felt Too Damn Short. broadly, the book is about the tech world and particularly the job of content moderators, which is a massive ethical can of worms. as someone who works in tech and in the "trust and safety" space (although i've never worked in content moderation myself), i found the book very faithful to reality, very well-researched, and deeply fascinating. the characters are incredible and the end twist was... a twist, to say the least. absolutely loved this.

an american marriage by tayari jones (⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: it took me three years to finally finish this book. i should have DNF-ed it. i kept picking it up and putting it back down again. i think i stuck with it because everyone said it was an Important Book about the mass incarceration of black people in america, but honestly, it wasn't really a book about that. it's a book about three people who are all equally unbearable and cannot make decisions to save their lives, and the fact that one of them happens to be in prison for a crime he didn't commit is, frankly, secondary. i really want to read a good book about racial issues in america, particularly regarding the justice system (if anyone has recs, please hit me up!) but this was not it.

bullshit jobs by david graeber (⭐️⭐️⭐️) [non-fiction]: this was both incredibly funny and incredibly triggering. really makes you realise how much of the corporate world is just bullshit, and i definitely include my own job in this category. most of us just serve zero purpose lol. that man is dead right. giving this three stars because while fine, the writing wasn't mind-blowing, but honestly, i'm glad i read this.

vox by christina dalcher (⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: like, idk. this was fine. i read this on the beach and had a good time. the romance was a bit nonsensical and the end a bit "blah" but i liked the premise. basically follows the life of a woman in a society where women are limited to saying 100 words a day. it was trying a bit too hard to surf on the handmaid's tale mania in the same way we had all these vampire books after twilight, but still, it was good. a fine summer beach read.

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: everyone and their cousin has read this book and recommended it so i'm not going to reinvent the wheel. i promise, it is a great read. i very much enjoyed it. someone sent me an ask about it a few months ago, in which i shared a few more thoughts, if you want to head over there to find out more.

station eleven by emily st john mandel (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) [fiction]: this is a fantastic book. it's a masterpiece. it also fucked up with my mental health so badly i considered going to therapy again and totally messed with my brain for months. i think i'm on the tail end of it now. but, if you're an artist who has anxiety about dying before you manage to finish whatever it is you're working on, don't read this. honestly.

DID NOT FINISH:

i had a whole period of my life where i thought I Must Finish All Books, but that is no more. as that fake german heiress said: 'i do not have time for this, i do not have time for you'.

a brief history of the future by stephen clarke: it pains me to say because i really loved the merde series, but i've been dragging this book around for years, trying to finish it, and i think it's time to say goodbye. i just couldn't even tell you what the plot is, or what the point of the whole teleportation machine was... i'm just ... confused. i suppose one cannot write great books 100% of the time.

1984 by george orwell: look, i tried. but i think the issue with this book is that while it was the first in its genre, it was far from the last, and as a result of having read a lot of the dystopia that came after it, this just felt boring and stilted. the misogyny is also rather off-putting. i have read 100 pages and that was sufficient.

la peste (the plague) by albert camus: fuck, i love camus. i really, really do. the stranger is the only book that was assigned to me in school that i actually read. and, having now lived through a pandemic, la peste is strangely prescient. probably too prescient. i think the reason why i gave up on this is because 1) i "read" it as an audiobook and i think i'm just not an audiobook person and 2) i started this in the middle of the pandemic and it was just too much. the bubonic plague lockdown in the middle of the covid lockdown was hard to handle. so i just stopped listening to this on my walks and began listening to music instead. i don't think it's abandoned forever (i'll probably pick it up in book format again some day) but at the moment i just can't lol. no need to repeat the station eleven experience lol.

[holy-puckslibrary]

← previous month’s round-up

here's a list of everything i published in the month of DECEMBER

˗ˏˋ main masterlist ˎˊ˗ 

━ see the special events below!

━ none this month! 

━ FICMAS (tumblr)

˗ˏˋ THE MRS. CLAUSE ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — NATE MACKINNON x claus!reader premise — when she took the reins as the world's chief claus, her father forgot to disclose one very pressing hidden clause in the job contract…  cw — me getting way too into the lore of the council of legendary figures, reader is blinded by stress and nate is in lurrrvvv, and some mild angst wc — 2k

˗ˏˋ HOLIDATE ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — JACK HUGHES x reader premise — in order to avoid the annual interrogation into his love life, jack hughes enlists his longtime friend to be his totally platonic plus-one for the holidays. cw — alcohol mention, jack being moody while luke and quinn are menaces, and reader and jack are idiots (in love, affectionate) wc — 2.3k

˗ˏˋ CANDY CANE GRAM ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — teacher!JEFF SKINNER x teacher!reader premise — their students decide to play matchmaker before a school dance; will their scheming pay off? cw — me using jeff as an outlet for the degree in education i don’t use bc i would like to be financially stable, jeff and reader being sneaky sneaky, kiddos trying to play cupid, and my history major jumping out! wc — 2.4k

˗ˏˋ THE NANNY ON THE SHELF ˎˊ˗ ➤ series masterlist   pairing(s) — dilf!ERIK JOHNSON x reader premise — in erik's absence, his nanny takes over staging the family's elf on the shelf in order to keep the magic alive for his children. results are… questionable. cw — pre-relationship/pre-therapy erik being a dick and josie being sassy (if you can’t handle the heat, get outta the kitchen — looking @ you ej…) wc — 1.1k

˗ˏˋ TRADITION ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing — dbf!SIDNEY CROSBY x reader premise — it may not be the right plant, but it's close enough to justify upholding the festive tradition. cw — unspecified age gap (everyone's legal, dw), smokin' grass (oiud, a joint, mary jane, whichever term you want to use), 18+ content — innocence/corruption kink, adult language/dirty talk, sexual activity under the influence between two consenting adults, fingering (r), oral (r), slight exhibitionism kink, unprotected p in v + creampie (a very merry chrysler to you) wc — 4.4k

find more more holiday content ˗ˏˋ HERE ˎˊ˗

your fellow readers (and my lovely patrons) gifted you some spine-chilling spice this holiday season! be sure to thank them for their generosity when you get a chance <33

˗ˏˋ FARMER’S DAUGHTER ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — foreman!JOSH ANDERSON x farmer’s daughter!reader premise — she’ll always remember the time she let her daddy's foreman soil her in the middle of his pasture… cw — backdoor play, costumes/roleplay (kinda sorta), + risky location/exhibitionism, implied age gap, outdated patriarchal beliefs, innocence kink, corruption kink, slight humilation kink, spit as lube, dacryphilia, slight overstim, unprotected p in v, possessive!josh x virgin!reader (outdated definition and beliefs here, too) and just general filth wc — 3.5k

˗ˏˋ BONER-KILLER ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — camp counselor!JACK HUGHES x camp counselor!reader premise — no machetes, no hockey masks… at least, that’s what he promised. cw — a few jokes about death/dying and murder, rather short n tame ("vanilla") barely-there spice from me???, jack being a little shithead (and a little switchy omg), a smidge of angst, and spoopy ending… (kevin heimbach hive rise!) wc — 1.4k

˗ˏˋ NEW PERSPECTIVE ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — (soft)dark!stalker!QUINN HUGHES x grey!reader premise — in his own shadowy domain, he could be whatever and whoever he wanted… cw — dom!reader + subby-as-hell!quinn (ngl he’s kind of a pathetic loser here, but that’s why we love him), m!receiving oral (perhaps too much idk you tell me) + cum play x2, quinn rendered dumb and speechless by his raging humiliation kink and his need for degradation (and an itty bitty bit of praise — quinn: new kink unlocked), i have been plagued w ball play as of late so im subjecting yall to it, mention of edging and orgasm denial, oh and just some pheromone kink bits and a cute lil oral fixation moment or two, nothing to see here! wc — 4k

˗ˏˋ LIVE DEMONSTRATION ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) ➤ series masterlist pairing(s) — camboy!MITCH MARNER x camgirl!reader (+ some special guests) premise — their first performance with a live studio audience! cw — cameos…bc cameo lol, public sex (a literal audience), unprotected boinking + creampie, some reach-around finger-bang action, unprotected coitus + cum play bc mitchy is nasty, praise kink influencer!mitch — "content, baby, content!" (name that vlogger lol), brief past phone sex (kinda? idk you'll see), discussion of sex work and the selling of items wc — 3k

˗ˏˋ A PEARL ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — captain!ERIK KARLSSON x reader premise — its the rum talking… or is it? cw — stranger sex and CMNF, 18th century purity culture and oral (f receiving)  wc — 600 (preview of my POTC au)

find more spooky content ˗ˏˋ HERE  ˎˊ˗

━ WHAT I POSTED ON PATREON 

˗ˏˋ 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — firefighter!QUINN HUGHES x reader premise — over a decade ago, jack hughes broke her little sister’s heart. out of loyalty, she hasn’t spoken to his elder brother, quinn hughes, since. the holiday season is brimming with miracles; will a mended bridge make the list this year? cw — angst with a fluffy ending, quinn and the reader being overprotective idiots, named sister!oc (for the reader), kinda non-linear timeline, and less dialogue from me than usual wc — 2.7k

˗ˏˋ 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — baker!NICO HISCHIER x wedding planner!reader premise — nico, the owner of the most sought-after bakery in town, has always had a crush on the reader, an equally popular wedding planner in the area. never more than acquaintances, they still bonded over a shared love of sweetening memories for their special clients. without words, he can tell something is different this time – something is wrong. something happened last christmas; can nico save her from tears this year? cw — angst, mention of infidelity (not on or by nico), a failed engagement and some scrooge-esque pessimism, and some tooth-rotting, cliché fluff! wc — 1.6k

˗ˏˋ 𝐍𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐘 ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — MICHAEL BERZATTO (fx’s the bear) x reader premise — he should be at the celebrating, but he isn’t. he was, but not anymore. not after she called. instead, he’s playing… knight in shining sleigh for his kid brother’s childhood playmate. there’s only one way for this night to end… and it won’t land either of them on the nice list this year… cw — unreliable narrator + self-deprecation, age gap, non-canon timeline for the bear (because i don't want to do math lol), mention of reader x ritchie and implied past carmie x reader, alcohol, a lot of degradation, thigh riding / dry humping, orgasm denial, spit play, unhealthy people in an unhealthy non-relationship relationship, a pinch of misogyny, slight impact play, and slight inappropriate use of a santa costume… wc — 2.9k

˗ˏˋ 𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐇𝐎 ˎˊ˗ (social media au) pairing(s) — JACK HUGHES x reader; jack hughes x olivia rodrigo (iykyk); COLE CAUFIELD x reader premise — inspired by the song of the same name off of sab’s fruitcake ep cw — mention of cheating, me villianizing jack a wee bit, well-deserved cole love, and me having too much fun with famous!reader

˗ˏˋ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — dilf!ERIK JOHNSON x nanny!reader ➤ series masterlist  premise — (set before the main story) every member of the johnson household loves christmas. all but the patriarch, whose heart seems to be two sizes too small. there is one person, however, who might put things right… cw — too much time in grinch!erik’s head, erik being a douche canoe for no reason and mopey because he’s emotionally constipated, alarming lack of josie and reese, and mel stirring the pot wc — 2k

˗ˏˋ (𝐑𝐄𝐃, 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃) 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — JAKE ‘HANGMAN’ SERESIN (tg: maverick) x bradshaw!reader premise — a christmas miracle is orchestrated by the one person she least expects. cw — a cheesy nickname, mention of candy, an only child writing sibling banter, me not being over goose’s death (that i’ve only seen once because i physically can't experience that again), a smidge of angst followed by tooth-rotting fluff, a wee bit suggestive at the end, and my inability to keep a story contained to one upload wc — 1.8k

˗ˏˋ 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐌𝐑𝐒. ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — professor!SIDNEY CROSBY x TA / grad student!reader premise — red lips, green envy. cw — nameless biotches trying to steal our man!! power imbalance, secret situationship, references to sex but nothing descriptive, and angst angst angst but some fluff for good measure too, some oc deets added to the reader (nothing physical) for story purposes, and insecurity being a bitch but sid is so words of affirmation slay <3 wc — 2.3k new au verse coming soon!

˗ˏˋ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐍 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — MATTHEW TKACHUK x reader premise — during an island getaway, festive fury brings unspoken truths to the surface. cw — white people vacationing in hawai’i, mention of alcohol and liquid courage, reference to (past) underage drinking and (past) sex between consenting minors, mention of elementary age-bully, matty being a jealous, elitist douche via inner monologue and a loser-boy via sudden on-set of foot-in-mouth disease (very dangerous — stay safe out there, y’all!), reference to virginity / a lil slut-shaming, angst with a fluffy, suggestive ending wc — 3k

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒, 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐘 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — grinch!JAMIE DRYSDALE x martha may!reader premise — jamie hates christmas, but it may just all be a misunderstanding. cw — jamie being a passive aggressive baby because he's emotionally constipated, references to childhood bullying, emotional cheating / physical cheating (not on jamie or the reader, brief and kinda wholesome), jamie smoking a cig bc ~stressed~ (and a lack of healthy coping skills), mention of blood/violence (super brief), and references to an angel tree topper but no religion or religious components wc — 2.3k

˗ˏˋ 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑 𝐏𝐋𝐔𝐌 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐘 ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — single dad!MATT MARTIN x ballerina!reader premise — its the first role many young ballerinas aspire toward, and matt’s daughter is no different. however, matt has different aspirations for this season’s sugar plum fairy… cw — an age gap (unspecified, but mentioned), naughty things in a risky and wholesome location, me caring too much about stage costumes, non-hockey playin’ matt (implied), unprotected p in v coitus, and matt being a dirty simpy dog for his kid’s favorite person wc — 1.3k

˗ˏˋ 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐍𝐎𝐖! ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — JOE BURROW x reader premise — an unexpected road trip with his best friend’s little sister becomes a bit more than joe bargained for—in the best way possible. cw — insensitive comment about concussions, awkward!joe 🤍's the reader, + reader has a fear of storms and an overprotective brother wc — 1.4k

˗ˏˋ 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐊 ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — JEREMY SWAYMAN x reader premise — his california girl has never seen snow. this isn’t exactly what she had in mind, but she's not complaining… cw — this is straight-up p*rn. cum sharing/cum play, unprotected anal sex + ass eating from the back🙊, manhandling (affectionate), bondage via ribbon, spitting <3, minor objectification + minor discussion of injury, hints of overstim, personification of body parts, and dom!sway being a downright filthy menace ass man with a condescending potty mouth (pun not intended, but funny nonetheless) wc — 1.9k

˗ˏˋ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — TREVOR ZEGRAS x reader (established); JAMIE DRYSDALE x reader; MASON MCTAVISH x reader; background trevor x the boys; slight jamie x mason premise — what better gift on your friends to bestow than the gift that keeps on giving? cw — everyone’s a lil bi because why not, trevor is boyfriend of the year, mason and jamie bickering over whose turn it is to munch, tz + reader are switchy and mason + jamie are bratty and subby, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), accidental edging, trevor being a cocky menace and stirring the pot, and a wee bit of a cliff-hanger bc i'm incapable of controlling myself :-) oh, and the current pet name fixation of the week! wc — 2k

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐊 & 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐒 ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — movie!MIKE SCHMIDT (fnaf) x reader premise — mike has something very specific on his list this christmas. cw — slight festive roleplay, breeding kink to the max (with the explicit intention of getting her knocked tf up), mike being obsessed with tits (and having a raging lactation kink), nipple play, dry humping & domestic dirty talk, no p in v (happens off-page/screen), mention of a past pregnancy scare, me wanting abby to be happy with every fiber of my being, and potential FNAF spoilers (honestly, not really) wc — 2.5k

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→ next month’s round-up

[lesbian-of-nine]

this is the first march 22nd where ive felt normal

[hotjaneaustenmenpoll]

As we are now halfway through Round One - the closest polls, with only 0.2% between some of them, currently are...

Mr Sidney Parker (2019) Vs Mr Bingley (P&P&Z)

George Wickham (2005) Vs Denny (1995)

Robert Martin (2020) Vs Robert Martin (1996)

Frank Churchill (2009) Vs Mr Palmer (1995)

[jakeperalta]

spent weeks psyching myself up to stand up to my mum and then immediately got shot down by her 😃👍

[alyssalenko]

Fic writers' end-of-year roundup: 2022 edition!

This has taken me all year because work has been awful and stressful and I've been so exhausted and we finally got the full release if BG3 and it's had me in a chokehold. So because of how late it is and I'll probably be doing another in less than three months I won't tag anyone. :) I was tagged by my darling @pikapeppa.

Words Written (I'm only gonna do published because WIPs is a huge can of worms): 8,819. I wish I'd been more productive on my WIPs but alas, I just kept starting them 🤣

Smut scenes: 4. At lea a t published

New things I tried: I did a few exchanges and finally got to work in the KOTOR universe. My love for Carth Onasi and Atton Rand knows no bounds

Fic I spent the most time on: Oh. March of last year is when I started moving things from one account of my Gdocs to a new one for personal reasons so I honestly don't have an accurate count of that anymore but out of my works published last year it'd be May the Dread Wolf Take You. I scrapped a few ideas before settling on this one for the Dragon Age Smutquisition exchange.

Fic I spent the least time on: Bathe with Me--I had to change directions for the Dragon Age Smutquistion exchange a couple times, and this was a scrapped idea I reworked to fit Briar Lavellan and Blackwall

Favourite thing I wrote: Weirdly enough, Temptress' Tango. A shakarian smut piece I wrote as a treat for the Fornax exchange. I love me a tango, and some public sex even if I don't write a lot of Shakarian at all 😆

Favourite thing I read: 

Quality Control by @hunnybadgerv. I am not usually a fan of Kai Leng because of what he did to Thane, but it was hot and I dug it. :)

Doctor's Orders by @charlatron because I can't get enough of Harry Carlyle. He can get it ;)

Writing goals for next year: 

Honestly, just get through some WIPs so I can start new ones and actually get more writing done. I literally only wrote for exchanges last year except for one thing. So just some stuff for me would be nice. My bar is not set high as like I said above, it's been a rough year.

[1o1percentmilk]

remember when wordle came out and every programmer and their mother was making algorithms to automate guessing it. those were good times

[dc-bitchin]

i pressed record on my phone because I wanted to really *quickly* summerize an episode for an animated Batman series I would LOVE to make and it ended up being 15 minutes long and makes references to shit only I know about... :|

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

im gonna shit myself i just saw the voting gauntlet results and edeIgard was in round 1 in two brackets and lost both brackets

as ever we keep the edeIgard loses in round 1 legends going hella strong

[talkfastcal]

Regarding my last rb: I literally had the same thing Phil had except in opposite order

[isupportzaynxliamxziam]

Saturday, 8 January 2022 / part III

Liam's made a new round up video, where he answers 22 questions

credits: Liam's YouTube

[mayakern]

Things are bad right now.

As many of you know, way back in 2020 we weren’t sure if our business was gonna make it. Our factory was already on break for Lunar New Year–a month-long holiday for many businesses in the area–and with the announcement of COVID19, everything shut down indefinitely. We knew immediately we were in for a bad time. Despite our fears, our sales grew so far beyond anything we ever expected, to the point where we had to hire two employees just to keep up with demand! 

Unfortunately, even after our factory reopened, our problems were not over. Their quality drastically declined almost immediately, to the point that a significant amount of our  fabric would literally fall apart in transit between the factory and our office. Because of this, we discovered that our sales rep had no idea what she was doing and knew nothing about the factory she was representing, so when we told her the fabric was garbage her response was “👍 factory said it’s good!” At the beginning, only roughly 10% of our new product was defective and we were able to sell the affected items with a reasonable discount. By the end of our relationship with that factory, 40% of our midi skirts and 70% of our miniskirts were defective, some affected so severely that they practically fell apart when touched. And still, our rep said everything was fine and there were no problems and the fabric composition had not changed.

So in 2022 we changed factories. We hired Ash to handle this since I was way too busy managing fulfillment to do the amount of research and communication necessary to find us a factory that met our criteria. Finding clothing factories that can make clothing over a size 2-3X is significantly more difficult than one that can’t because it often requires larger and more expensive machinery. But Ash did it: she got us set up with a new factory that has excellent certifications for both their labor practices and their methods for textile production, that delivers consistent, high quality sewing on well made fabric that can be printed without suffering loss in detail–and she was armored with the knowledge for what makes a quality garment so she could check them if they tried to screw us on quality. Their minimum orders were way higher than our previous factory’s, so we decided to focus on ordering more units of fewer designs. We ordered way too much our first round–some of those designs were in stock until the 2024 blowout sale! But it worked out, and slowly we had a warehouse full of stuff to sell.

Fast forward to 2024, business is slowing down between the economy being bad and what seemed to be a general skirt fatigue amongst our customers. We tried expanding into shirts, which would’ve been successful if our minimums were lower. In the late spring we realized we were in trouble if we didn’t make drastic changes and we ultimately decided to end in-house fulfillment and transfer to a third party fulfillment center that would support domestic shipping in Canada and eventually the UK, EU, and Australia. In order to make that transition affordable we drastically discounted everything and that sale was super successful! We were able to begin shipping from the fulfillment center with an almost clean slate, even if it did mean having to close the store for almost two months and thereby missing out on two very important months of sales.

Unfortunately, we were stupid. We continued to order new designs on an every other month schedule instead of switching to an every month schedule, forgetting that having a backstock in a variety of designs is what previously helped us float between orders and now we quite literally didn’t have enough inventory to match the sales we made for last year’s holiday sale.

That brings us to now.

We’re a little stuck. We have a round of skirts in production (yay!) but they won’t get here until February (boo!). To get back on that monthly cycle we would need to order the next round of skirts right now, but we can’t pay for production until that next round of skirts gets here; if the current sale goes well, it’s paying payroll, not production. We are currently in the very difficult, horrible situation of not having enough money for next month’s payroll unless we are somehow able to make significant sales with our very sparse inventory.

We’re scrappy and we do our best to adapt to disasters and I’m sure we’ll find a way to adapt to this one as well, it’ll just take us some time to get there. Basically we’re going to be okay eventually–hopefully later this year–but in the meantime if we seem frantic, now you know why. 

If you’re been considering trying out our viscose shirts but haven’t been able to justify paying full price, they’re on clearance PLUS half off right now! That’s $9-$15 for the viscose tops, and other tops on clearance are $20-$45. Some of the shirts we’re having a LOT of trouble selling are now priced below cost to help us recoup some of the money we spent making them.

Any amount of support helps right now. Sharing posts, telling your friends, buying a $9 shirt–all of it helps. If our clothing isn’t your thing, we also have a Patreon you can support for as little as $1 a month. https://www.patreon.com/mayakern

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you have a great rest of your day and that 2025 is a brighter, kinder year for us all.

[absmarchive]

What we're reading: Brooklyn subway station shooting, abortion bill in Oklahoma

[crowdvscritic]

round up // FEBRUARY 24

In some ways, February is a manifestation of Crowd vs. Critic.

Each year Vulture updates an article called "Which January at the Movies Was the Most January?" When I stumbled upon it this month, I couldn’t believe how closely it captured a phenomenon I was already thinking about: “January at the movies is a tale of two seasons. It’s the month where Oscar contenders traditionally open nationwide, allowing moviegoers across the country to experience the best that Hollywood has to offer. But for that reason, it’s also the month where the rest of the industry tries to stay out of the way, offering a mixture of counterprogramming and low-risk fare — we’re talking horror films, inexplicable sequels, and lots of movies about grim middle-aged men firing guns.”

From there, Vulture attempts to rank every January in recent memory by their bad movie slates, but my follow up question is, why stop at January? “Dumpuary” does not end January 31st—I’m not even sure it ends on February 29th. Pardon my French, but I’ve watched a lot of doggerel this month so mediocre it’s not worth recommending here. However, February is also Oscar prep season. I’ve spent the month reading more deeply about the nominated films and planning my annual Oscar watch party. And because I’m caught up on nominated films and there are so few new releases worth checking out, I’m creating a watchlist of classics I’ve missed. This year I’ve decided to dig into films recommended in TCM’s The Essential Directors by Sloan De Forest, which I recommended during Dumpuary 2022. I just finished the book’s top picks from Steven Spielberg's filmography, and before the year’s end, my goal is to complete their recommendations from Mel Brooks, Frank Capra, George Cukor, Michael Curtiz, John Ford, Howard Hawks, Alfred Hitchcock, George Lucas, Ida Lupino, Oscar Micheaux, Sidney Lumet, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, Elaine May, Leo McCarey, Vincente Minnelli, Martin Scorsese, Douglas Sirk, Preston Sturges, W.S. Van Dyke, Billy Wilder, and Robert Wise. (Full disclosure: for most of them, I only have one or two titles to go.) 

So please enjoy a Round Up of recommendations featuring several of those directors and Britney Spears, as well as a book of interviews with Oscar winners and a Bennifer marathon. Plus, a Leap Day bonus with a Finnish flair!

February Crowd-Pleasers

1. Scary Movie 3 (2003)

Because sometimes you don’t want to laugh with something sophisticated—sometimes you want to laugh at something stupid. After years of my brother recommending something I wouldn’t peg as my taste, I finally checked out this spoof of 8 Mile, American Idol, The Ring, Signs, and more things that were extremely popular in 2003. I doubt future generations will find much to appreciate here, but this Millennial got a kick from the nostalgia and the stupid humor courtesy of Anna Faris Regina Hall, Leslie Nielsen, Simon Rex, and Charlie Sheen. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6/10

2. Catwoman (2004)

This movie is not good, but is it objectively way better and way more fun than The Flash? I’d rather have this silly, superficially-girl-power trash than that self-serious Flash trash any day. The Razzies did not deserve this movie! Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5.5/10

3. Bennifer Marathon!

It's a real If You Give a Mouse a Cookie situation. After you go to a screening of This Is Me…Now: A Love Story (2024), you're going to need to watch the behind-the-scenes documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told and listen to Jennifer Lopez’s new album This Is Me…Now on repeat. You're also going to decide you need to watch Jersey Girl (2004) and Halftime (2022) because you can never have too much of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez! (I also watched Gigli and What to Expect When You’re Expecting, but these Round Ups only focus on pop culture I recommend.) What can I say? I’m rooting for love!

I reviewed J. Lo’s new music film for ZekeFilm, which explores her public history in a personal, musical romantic comedy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10

4. Crossroads (2002)

Zoe Saldana camping in curlers: To me, that is cinema! Like Catwoman, this Lifetime-movie-meets-Britney-Spears-star-vehicle is not good, but it is a perfect sleepover movie. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5/10

5. The Beekeeper (2024)

I look forward to 30 years from now when I am a Turner Classic Movies host and introduce this movie 12 times in a single calendar year: 

January: Star of the Month Jason Statham

February: Star of the Month Josh Hutcherson

March: 31 Days of Oscar - Movies that would be Oscar-nominated if the Academy had a Best Stunts category

April: Special Theme - Vigilante Justice (Lee Marvin makes an appearance, too)

May: Mother's Day marathon (between The Manchurian Candidate and Psycho)

June: Birthday Tribute - Phylicia Rashad (leading into a Creed marathon)

July: Guest Programmer Pick - Bona fide action star is promoting his new artistic action blockbuster and calls Statham one of his inspirations

August: Summer Under the Stars - Day 23 devoted to Minnie Driver (airing before Good Will Hunting)

September: Birthday Tribute - Jeremy Irons (airing after The Mission)

October: Spotlight - Secret organizations (showing right before The Parallax View)

November: Diane Warren Tribute - she finally won her Oscar for her theme for The Beekeeper 2

December: Primetime Theme - Bees (in marathon with Akeelah and the Bee, The Bee Movie, The Secret Life of Bees, The Wicker Man, and for some reason Beetlejuice)

Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

More February Crowd-Pleasers: Cold Pursuit (2019) is the platonic ideal of a Liam Neeson’s formulaic thrillers // I would’ve been obsessed with the martial arts mayhem of Bulletproof Monk (2003) if I had seen it when I was 12 // Not everything in the corporate satire Head Office (1985) works, but what does is savage // When Book of the Month announced The Helsinki Affair by Anna Pitoniak (2023) as a selection just a few weeks after my first trip to Finland, I immediately knew my November pick. This Jason Bourne/Jack Ryan-esque spy thriller didn’t disappoint. (More on my trip to Finland below!) // Though the politics of The Ghost and the Darkness (1996) have aged poorly, it’s the most thrilling movie about killing lions I’ve seen since The Lion King

February Critic Picks

1. The Teachers’ Lounge (2023)

If you’ve ever survived an anxiety-fueled environment driven by politics, prejudice, or, frankly, middle schoolers, Germany’s nominee for Best International Feature at the Oscars will ring true. Read my full review for ZekeFilm. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

2. 50 Oscar Nights: Iconic Stars & Filmmakers on Their Career-Defining Wins by Dave Karger (2024)

Let me repeat what I said last month: The Turner Classic Movies Library has yet to miss! In TCM host Dave Karger’s new book, he interviews 50 different winners from Oscar ceremonies as far back as 1962 about what the award means to them and how it has impacted their careers. This breezy read digs into the inspirations, outfits, and relationships of Nicole Kidman, John Legend, Rita Moreno, Meryl Streep, Sofia Coppola, and more, and you can find all of the films featured on my Letterboxd list. 

3. Double Feature - Legal Dramas: The Verdict (1982) + Class Action (1991)

In The Verdict (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9.5/10), Paul Newman is a jaded ambulance chaser who happens on a medical malpractice suit that might be his best case in years. In Class Action (8.5/10 // 8/10), Gene Hackman and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio are a father and daughter facing off in a courtroom centered on a car manufacturer’s potential negligence. Both are excellent legal genre examples and excellent opportunities to let their actors cook.  

4. Good Reads

Lately, I’ve been reading about…

…2023 in Review: 

“Biggest Hollywood Winners and Losers 2023: From Margot Robbie to Marvel,” HollywoodReport.com (2023)

“Taylor Swift Is TIME's 2023 Person of the Year,” time.com (2023)

“Goodbye DC Extended Universe: We Hardly Knew You (Yet We Knew You Too Well),” HollywoodReporter.com (2023)

…our current Awards Season: 

“Critic’s Notebook: A Flailing, Fun-Free 2024 Golden Globes Telecast,” HollywoodReporter.com (2024)

“The Golden Globes Should Just Forget About Hosts,” VanityFair.com (2024)

“Barbie Is Adapted? Maestro Original? Let’s Fix the Screenplay Categories,” NYTimes.com (2024)

“Anatomy of a Fail: Inside France’s Dysfunctional Oscar Committee,” variety.com (2024)

…big cultural shifts: 

“A Shift in American Family Values Is Fueling Estrangement,” TheAtlantic.com (2021)

“The Great Freight-Train Heists of the 21st Century,” NYTimes.com (2024)

"A ‘Failure to Launch’: Why Young People are Having Less Sex,” LATimes.com (2023)

“From Swiping to Sexting: The Enduring Gender Divide in American Dating and Relationships,” AmericanSurveyCenter.org (2023)

…and a hodge podge of other things: 

“An Oral History of ‘Washington’s Dream,’ the Best SNL Sketch in Years,” IndieWire.com (2023)

“Panera’s 'Lemonade That Kills You' Is Really a Story About Our Broken Country," slate.com (2023)

“Annie Meyers-Shyer’s Holiday-Decorating Handbook,” NYMag.com (2023)

“Madeleine Albright Has Sent Some Very Spicy Messages Through Her Accessories,” InStyle.com (2021)

“The Crown and What the U.K. Royal Family Would Like Us to Forget,” NYTimes.com (2023)

“What Did Dakota Johnson Actually Say?” HollywoodReporter.com (2024)

“Why Deleting and Destroying Finished Movies Like Coyote vs Acme Should Be a Crime,” RogerEbert.com (2024)

More February Critic Picks: Even if Love Affair (1939) hadn’t inspired An Affair to Remember and Sleepless in Seattle, it would still be an all-time romance // In Lured (1947), Lucille Ball gets dramatic as she looks for love and her best friend’s killer // No Way Out (1950) is a stellar character drama and thriller thanks to Sidney Poitier and Richard Widmark // You can’t be sore at the heightened emotion in Manhattan Melodrama (1934)—it’s right in the name! // The Trouble With Angels (1966) is The Holdovers but for the girlies // Gosford Park (2001) isn’t an Agatha Christie adaptation but it’s a worthy imitator // The Bigamist (1953) proves thrillers can be short and sweet // I love a juicy behind-the-scenes melodrama like The Bad and the Beautiful (1952) // Are you surprised that The Color Purple (1985) moved me to tears? // Though it took me a few scenes to acclimate to the rhythms of the Company National Tour, are you surprised the music of Stephen Sondheim won me over?

Leap Day Bonus

In 2020, my Leap Day Bonus was a Jonas Brothers music video I’d forgotten to mention in my January Round Up. This year, I’m using it make up for forgetting to mention…my entire trip to Finland? (I'm blaming it on the fog of the holidays and Awards Season kicking into high gear when I was writing my October Round Up.) These are the top cultural spots my sister and I found in Helsinki and Rovaniemi…

Temppeliaukion Kirkko - In their Ultimate Travel book, Lonely Planet calls this one of the top 500 places to see in the world. I’m not sure I’d rank it that high (even if I’ve yet to see a lot of the world), but it was worth a stop. Built in 1969 into a rock that split during the Ice Age, it is an architectural feat with amazing acoustics.

Anteneum Art Museum - This national gallery houses Finnish art classics

Finnkino Movie Theater - The real highlight of checking out Finland’s cinema was not watching Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny with Finnish and Swedish subtitles but it’s insane candy bar!

Santa Claus Village - If you can embrace a tourist trap, this one is worth the trip to the Arctic Circle. Meet Santa, feed his reindeer, and get lost in the kitschy gift shops in this acres-wide complex

Dog sledding - We hopped on a buggy pulled by eight of the goodest dogs courtesy of Bearhill Husky—a dream come true!

Arktikum - This science museum in Rovaniemi dives into the history and culture of Lapland (northern Finland)

Marimekko - This Finnish designer is chock full of mod florals, and we budget travelers found great deals at the outlet in Helsinki

Porvoo - This little town just a bus ride from Helsinki is filled with picturesque wooden houses, cutesy shops, and historical home museums

We visited Finland in the autumn, which is tourist off-season, but we’re not sure why—it’s beautiful! Whenever you choose to go, be sure to indulge in a korvapuusti ja kahvi (cinnamon roll and coffee) in one of their many kahvilat (coffee shops)!

Also in February…

On KMOV, I did my best to sum up why Casablanca is a perfect Valentine’s movie, and then I squeezed in a short review of Argylle, which is not so much a perfect Valentine’s movie. 

I also reviewed Argylle in more depth for ZekeFilm, and the piece turned into a lament for for its failure to follow through on a great premise.

I added two more entries to my Best Picture Project this month! I continued on with 1944's Going My Way, which is a feel-good story about the power of music starring Bing Crosby, and last year’s winner Everything Everywhere All at Once, which is a weird story about the power of googly eyes. 

Photo credits: 50 Oscar Nights, Good Reads. Finland my own. All others IMDb.com.

[reasonsforhope]

Kamala Harris just announced that her vice president will be Minnesota governor Tim Walz. Based on the coverage so far I'm really reassured by this decision.

The Washington Post did an obviously great job of making a prepared article for each option, considering how long an article they had up 7 minutes after the announcement.

((Okay technically it's not an official announcement yet it's "according to three people familiar with the pick, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss a decision that is not yet public." But listen. I am 99% sure this is a weather balloon. (Meaning: a deliberate leak to gauge reaction.) Because the sheer weakness or incompetence on the part of the Harris campaign that it would take for three people to all confirm that within a few hours hours of each other and the planned announcement it is massive.))

-via The Washington Post, August 6, 2024

Honestly this decision, from everything I've read and can tell, looks like it's brilliant politics.

Important Context: The vice president(ial candidates)'s job in an election is not to be similar to the president. The vice president's job on the ballot is very, very much specifically to be different from the president. Why? So they can cover each others' weaknesses. Especially regionally.

(Sidenote: I feel a bit ridiculous saying this. But genuinely if you want to get a stronger understanding of how US elections really work. Go watch seasons 6 and 7 of The West Wing. Genuinely, a lot of politicians have said - especially back in its day - that that was the most accurate depiction of an election they'd ever seen. Also specifically features an entire arc about a contested Democratic primary convention, so also very good if you're interested in understanding weird nominating convention shenanigans.)

From the article:

"Harris’s choice for a running mate was among the most closely watched decisions of her fledgling campaign, as she sought to bolster the ticket’s prospects for victory in November and rapidly find someone who could be a governing partner. In picking Walz, she has selected a seasoned politician with executive governing experience and signaled the importance of Midwestern battleground states such as Wisconsin and Michigan.

Walz’s foray into politics came later in life: He spent more than two decades as a public school teacher and football coach, and as a member of the Army National Guard, before running for Congress in his 40s. In 2006, he defeated a Republican to win Minnesota’s 1st Congressional District--a rural, conservative area--and won reelection five times before leaving Congress to run for governor.

Walz was first elected governor in 2018 and handily won reelection in 2022. Though little-known outside his state, Walz emerged publicly as one of the earliest names mentioned as a possible running mate for Harris, and in the ensuing days he made the rounds on television as an outspoken surrogate for the vice president...

“These are weird people on the other side. They want to take books away, they want to be in your exam room. … They are bad on foreign policy, they are bad on the environment, they certainly have no health care plan, and they keep talking about the middle-class,” Walz told MSNBC in July. “As I said, a robber baron real estate guy and a venture capitalist trying to tell us they understand who we are? They don’t know who we are.”

Walz also has faced criticism from Republicans that his policies as governor were too liberal, including legalizing recreational marijuana for adults, protecting abortion rights, expanding LGBTQ protections, implementing tuition-free college for low-income Minnesotans and providing free breakfast and lunch for schoolchildren in the state.

But many of those initiatives are broadly popular. Walz also signed an executive order removing the college-degree requirement for 75 percent of Minnesota’s state jobs, a move that garnered bipartisan support and that several other states have also adopted.

“What a monster. Kids are eating and having full bellies, so they can go learn, and women are making their own health-care decisions,” Walz said sarcastically in a July 28 interview with CNN when questioned whether such policies would be fodder for conservative attacks, later adding: “If that’s where they want to label me, I’m more than happy to take the [liberal] label.”

Walz also spoke at a kickoff event in St. Paul for a Democratic canvassing effort, casting Trump as a “bully.”

“Don’t lift these guys up like they’re some kind of heroes. Everybody in this room knows--I know it as a teacher--a bully has no self-confidence. A bully has no strength. They have nothing,” Walz said at the event, sporting a camouflage hunting hat and T-shirt.

Walz has explained that he felt some Democrats’ practice of calling Trump an existential threat to democracy was giving him too much credit, which prompted his decision to denounce the GOP nominee instead as being “weird.”

“I do believe all those things are a real possibility, but it gives him way too much power," Walz said on CNN’s “State of the Union” regarding the Democrats’ rhetoric. “Listen to the guy. He’s talking about Hannibal Lecter, shocking sharks, and just whatever crazy thing pops into his mind.”

If Walz is elected vice president, under state law, Minnesota Lt. Gov. Peggy Flanagan (D) would assume the governorship for the rest of his term. Minnesota Senate president Bobby Joe Champion, a Democrat, would become lieutenant governor."

-via The Washington Post, August 6, 2024

--

This guy. Sounds like. fucking Moderate swing-state/rural/Midwestern/southern/"heartland"/working class white voter catnip. He sounds like he's also a very smart politician and strong campaigner. And he's apparently genuinely a good guy with a good record, too.

He sounds like he's going to do a really good job of appealing to voters in several of the big deal swing states without being from any of them specifically. Which means it doesn't feel like pandering to one of the states involved (and thereby spurning the others), which is also great.

(Also he was the one who started "weird" @ conservatives and I think we should take that seriously as a very good political instinct/move. Judging in large part by how it has so clearly hit an actual nerve with conservatives like so little else. Also hugely relevant: that post going around about how part of why conservatives are so upset about "weird" is because in the Midwest, "weird" specifically also implies anti-social or harmful behavior.)

Officially feeling more optimistic about Trump not winning in November

[zeawesomebirdie]

Okay folks, today we are watching the final dvd of volume three of Batman: the Animated Series!! I'm not sure how much liveblogging I'll be doing (it's either a whole lot or Nothing At All), so just in case, the tag to blacklist is #liveblogging :)

My current thoughts are: every episode with Dick is my favourite, every episode with Joker is also my favourite, Mark Hamill is 100% my favourite Joker, and I am very normal about how Dick and Bruce interact!!!