#hatred and negativity

[tiphansia]

Stupid rant lol

It sucks how sometimes supposed acts of allyship hurt someone you're trying to be an ally to. These days more and more people are defaulting to they/them when they're unsure of a person's gender. Which, cool yay whatever. But whenever someone calls me they or them no matter the reason it makes me incredibly angry, profoundly sad, bitter, etc just generally not good at all. People often they/them me online especially in "progressive" spaces and it sucks so much. I know I know utilitarianism dictates it and all that but it just really sucks. There's nothing that can be done either unless everyone went back to using he as the default, which I would like but it would suck for a lot of people so I can't in good conscience wish that. My solution is to act in such a way and present myself in such a way that people assume he/him, because it relieves me from having to outright state my pronouns which I hate to do (and it would also make me so suspicious, I don't like people to know or think I'm trans). I've been in a discord server with someone for months, he knows me we interact daily and I thought he correctly assumed he/him for me through my whole online presentation as he'd gendered me correctly before. But today we were in a voice channel with some other people and he started to use he for me, then quickly said "they, I shouldn't assume". Instant horrible feeling. I can only use the nomic channel to communicate back because for obvious reasons I can't speak, I quickly wrote "it's he fyi :/" but I think I made it worse for myself because my directly stating my pronouns I've just made myself suspicious. What cis person says their pronouns like that. It's so upsetting because anything I say about it will just make things worse so I have to man up and not say anything but it's in my nature to keep talking until things seem "fixed" so it's hard to say nothing haha. And later on someone was saying how dumb these new pronouns are, why can't people use they/them and he was a bro said all the right stuff. Sometimes I'm glad I can't speak because otherwise I would've had to publicly agree with the other person in order to preserve my image and help people make the correct assumptions about me. I guess part of why I hate they/them used on me is because it very clearly tells me this person thinks I'm fucking weird. It reminds me of this post I rbed a few days ago about how asking for someone's pronouns in public seems like "allyship" but it just makes the person feel targeted. It's kind of like that. It's not like I'm a new server member that no one really knows well yet, I've been a core member for months. And yet I'm the only one that this person "didn't want to assume gender" for. Like thanks EVER so much. This is such a stupid rant I'm just so tired of it all. I try so incredibly hard to maintain my image so people assume correctly. Someone in that server called me "unmasculine" once so I asked him why and he said it was because I'm too nice so I've been acting meaner and less considerate and it still doesn't work because sometimes I crack and ask people if they're okay or express sympathy or insecurity or show emotions or reveal that I care what people think and it's all for nothing. Yeah I know it's messed up I don't care. I hate that it feels like it's for nothing. People will always see me as feminine no matter how hard I try. Fuck you. And you know what there's this girl in the server and for the longest time very few people believed her because she has this masculine aura I guess so everyone thought she was trolling. And I was the one being like "guys she's a girl lmao" because I could sense she was uncomfortable saying it herself until finally she was able to say it herself and then people used she/her for her. Even the ally guy refused to believe me until she finally said it herself. I'd give so much to be able to swap places with her lmao. Ugh whatever this is stupid. I wish I could stop caring but I've never been able to not care about anything.

[ovaruling]

women rly aren’t allowed to hate, to feel true undiluted hatred, without consequences and it’s so fucking annoying christ alive. even other women remind us of this constantly, that we shouldn’t hate, that it doesn’t serve us to hate anything or anyone. WHAT IF I DO HATE. what if there’s blinding hatred in my heart for certain people and things in my world. what if i’m a normal female of the species who hates. what then. do we all die? god

[ronkeyroo]

𝗘𝗚𝗢 ❌ ERIS

[queerdiazs]

as an eddie girl who loves buddie and enjoys bucktommy, one of the best things to come out of the tommy and eddie hate is how many of you have exposed yourselves for being homophobic, misogynistic, racist, classist, elitist, and bigoted motherfuckers ✨🫧

[plantanarchy]

I am so deeply ready for election season to be over. Swing state general election season in particular when your workplace in a red county took a strong blue stance has been such a headache for real. But equally there's been a whole lot of kindness and hope and faith in humanity and community restored as well. The huge amount of people who went out of their way to offer support has been so unexpected and wonderful.

[fairycosmos]

i hate when i have stuff to do. and i hate when i have nothing to do. and i hate god. and i hate when my room is a mess. and i hate being broke. and i hate working for companies. and i hate ads. and i hate screens. and i hate my reflection. and i hate time. and i hate grief

[canisalbus]

As a longtime (2015ish) follower of yours, its been fun watching you become... more tender? toward Machete. back in the day it was angst angst angst, and i loved it! but you cant know darkness without light and vice verse. Youve been a massive inspiration the whole time btw. Its nice to see not-anthro!Machete again too

.

[etteraths]

[katyspersonal]

me: I do not really understand the hardcore insistence of some Mohg fans/simps that he could not or must not have done any sexual-incestous crime! Not only it is a reasonable version, but also extremely interesting and intriguing to explore how not all victims of oppressive system are good people! Soulsborne is super fitting for fucked up themes and characters, any Mohg is valid and fun including the darkest you can get, right? Extremely messed-up interpretations of Mohg don't THREATEN other fans in any way shape or form!

fandom clowns: *passively-aggressively shun Mohg fans from the circles, attack Fromsoft for """homophobia""" (wtf), confuse acknowledging the event with enjoying the event, will label Mohg fans as insensitive or danger to real SO/incest victims, fear Mohg as an awful scary taboo to bring up in memes compilations or fanart that could obliterate all fun despite him being part of the canon, demand blacklisting anything about him in their clown Discord servers thus making lore chats weird, shame or block people with flattering interpretations for MeDiA iLiTeRaCy uwu, treat hating Mohg as a moral act rather than personal stance and generally cause a lot of hostility in the fandom, ALL because whereas seeing Mohg's SO as canon they then got mad at this canon instead of either swallowing it or move onto another videogame free of this theme*

me:

me: Nevermind, this fandom is chronically incapable of handling the dark themes and think the fandom owes them sanitised experience.

[bitcell]

hey guys, i don’t want to bring twitter drama here, but i thought it would be good to give some context as to why the brazilian fanbase is so upset at quackity’s statement from yesterday and how quackity’s fanbase directly impacted cellbit’s personal life. 

before anything i would like to make it clear that everything that i’m saying is talking about quackity’s fanbase and not quackity himself, although at the end it will go back to him, but not because of something he did, and instead of something he didn’t. 

everything starts at the streamer award nominations. we’ve known for years and years that people turn into their worst selves when an award is involved and someone they like is nominated, so obviously there was some tension between quackity’s fanbase with cellbit’s (since they’re “the biggest rival” in the bracket quackity is nominated). in an attempt to ruin cellbit’s reputation, and therefore his chances of winning, they decided to bring back a very old and known topic about cellbit’s past, trying to replicate what happened with forever (when the cases are not similar in the slightest), they were trying to get hashtags trending, @’ing quackity studios to kick him out of the project, basically doing anything they could to spread false information or the lack of it, not aware of the results this action would have. 

so as you have all probably read cellbit’s pdf, he was a victim himself, was taken out of the closet, while having to share extremely detailed and traumatic experiences of his personal life.

so when quackity went on stream yesterday and talked mainly about the qsmp being a project to unite people and that people who were doing that kind of thing were “external people outside of this project who don't even consume QSMP, whose only goal is to destabilize and divide the QSMP community”, he was slightly wrong, because although he may not consider the people who did that as part of his community, if you go through the screenshots and the tag/mentions of the day it happened, almost all of them are part of patitotwt. so the least brazilians expected was for quackity to really tell them what they did was wrong and talk directly to his fanbase, since they were being xenophobic to brazilians as well.

unfortunately when you’re the head of a project and you put your name on it, you put yourself on the spotlight and you have to deal with the consequences by owning up to things you probably wouldn’t have in other instances.

what quackity did yesterday was not directly point out the problem, but talk in a general vague way and that was not what we wanted, because if you don’t reach out to those people in a clear way, they’re never gonna stop and the problem lies at the fact that they will do anything (because they’re not in their right state of mind) to put down anyone who they see as a threat on their way. 

we know quackity is known for not talking or addressing drama surrounding his fanbase, but once again, i go back to the point i made previously, when you stamp your name on a project, you have a responsibility bigger than anyone else to deal with the problems along with it.

[fawnaura]

I'm so sick of complaining, I criticise myself in my head every time before I do. I feel the need to acknowledge certain privileges (especially with other things going on in the world). but we all have our own little lives, and sometimes the pain just feels unbearable, and then I kick myself for not being stronger, but it just gets so exhausting fighting everyday. I'm so sick of everything being such a struggle. sometimes I just really don't feel cut out for life.

[biigiiiii]

So this:

Leads to this:

Which leads to this:

Which allows vecna to do this:

Right? Right………. So then this:

Leads to this:

Which leads to:

???????????????? 👀👀👀👀👀

Will has had powers.

[therethatstar]

phum

[compassionatereminders]

(Venting, please feel free to delete)

What hurts the most is not being anyone’s priority. Everyone in my life who cares about me, there’s someone else who comes first. Someone else they’d drop me for in a second if it was between me and them. Hell, my own fucking therapist told me I can’t expect to be a priority to anyone. What the hell am I supposed to take from that? Other than that I’m just a placeholder until something better comes along, nobody would miss me, it doesn’t matter if I live or die because everyone else has their own lives and other people who are actually important to them. How the fuck can anyone say they care, if that’s the case? If I’m only a “nice addition” to your life, and something you could easily do without if you had to because you’ve someone else filling that “actually important person” position, then what’s the point? How can I matter? The only people I’m fucking “special” to, I’m only special to them because they can use and abuse me for their own gratification.

I. Don’t. Matter. Fundamentally. Nobody does, that’s why we need each other, to feel like someone cares about us as people and like our lives are worthwhile because of that. Anyone who says any different is lying.

I just want to be genuinely loved by someone dammit.

I'm actually of the opinion that: 1. Everyone should be their own first priority. Both me, you, and everyone else shouldn't be expected to sacrifice their own health to be something for someone else. 2. Love isn't a competitive hierarchy with just one valid relationship at the top. People can care about you AND other people without faking any part of it. 3. You don't have to always be liked the very most to be liked. 4. There is in fact a lot of connection to be found in between the extremes of "they wouldn't care if I died" and "they'd do literally anything for me." 5. So while you can and should expect to be A Priority in some capacity, acting like a relationship is inherently fake if you aren't The Only Priority 24/7 isn't great.

[chilling-seavey]

Anyway, both my boys drove brilliant races today 🧡🧡 really strong, fierce, but fair racing. Ofc we would want more but a double podium is always a treat 🧡

[backtochicago]

one more thing i need to say before the stream is i do not like people saying he is an coward when he only let emote only or dnap go down with him. of course he only leave mod to dream and sapnap because yappity and fossabot and every mods else just unmodded the chat and let thousands of doxxing, death threats and wishing harassment of killing himself. how tf viewers can be comfortable enough to watch his confession if those sentences triggers the viewers ??? dnap are the only people willing to control now ( even not knowing if they want to ) and of course again, which leads to emote only chat, so bunch of you don't trigger victims trauma