#hating my self on main

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

jon val jon or something

[rainyrambles-overcod]

day 14 of drawing one of the cod characters (+ my persona ig 😅😂) until I’m comfortable with trying to find my style

We’d 1000% be a disaster duo

[parsleepotato]

Sorry I keep disappearing for so long 😭

Catching up my Tumblr is not enjoyable for me, so I keep putting it off. Plus, life has been all over the place in good and bad ways, more bad as of recent. But I'm back again, and I genuinely want to get this account caught up finally! Shaking it up a bit by combining a bunch of older works together (which helps me get caught up faster)! A mix of doodles, vent art featuring my TF2 OC Trapper, and an actual piece I made for both a college project and a DTIYS.

This was the image that inspired Superfly Spy

Reblogs and feedback is greatly appreciated! Please don't steal my work, or repost it without my permission. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

[thatlenguy]

i hate this stupid cunty man and his stupid cunty outfits (read: i started watching jojo's and oh no a new blorbo hath attacked)

(i am only on like episode 26 of diamond is unbreakable please do not spoil me on things i want to watch this show's wildness unfold naturally)

[columboscreens]

[butchnavi]

nina salazar-roberts is such a beautiful case study in comphet and I genuinely think her arc deserves so more appreciation

[schnee-gheist]

The feeling when you have the greatest idea for a oneshot but CANNOT WRITE

I'm in so much pain rn/hj

[queer-reader-07]

i don’t know what it says about me as a person that a motivating factor in me wanting to pursue a PhD is that “Dr.” is a gender neutral honorific that people just accept without question

[arkiwii]

very sad still see the saria/silence divorce headcanon still going around

have you ever tried to consider that they never dated before lone trail because it would be unrealistic with the timeline and the events and also because it would be overshadowing the actual truth of why they couldn't get along

[mammomlette]

WIP of one of my MCs I’ll never finish because it was just a rendering test and I found out that I HATE rendering !!

[coockie8]

i once had an anti tell me to stop sexualizing their trauma on a story i wrote that was a word for word retelling of my own actual trauma but with names changed and its been 2 years and i still cant stop thinking about that

Ah, yeah... Unfortunately a non-insignificant number of antishippers seem to genuinely believe they own the concept of trauma, so any story they read that they believe to be portrayed in a romanticized or sexualized light therefore must be romanticizing/sexualizing their trauma specifically.

I couldn't tell you the amount of times I've gotten the "stop sexualizing my trauma!!!!!!" or adjacent comments from antishippers that universally garner a response that basically boils down to

Like, bitch! I'm talking about my trauma! I literally did not even know you existed until you fucking commented!

[jeweledstone]

The Labyrinth-verse aka In which my Peppino plush goes through a several dream long character arc that has a lotta bizarre and kinda disturbing implications

DATE(S) FORGOTTEN

Okay, for context, here’s a pic of the boi, he exists, I bought him off of Fangamer a few whiles back, look at him.

He didn’t have the ribbon on his hat during the events of these dreams tho, that’s a more recent edition.

Now onto the dreams and stuff.

This…”series” takes place over 4 or 5 different dreams and takes place in a universe I’ve come to call “The Labyrinthverse”, named after a backrooms like area that was in said verse called The Labyrinth. There were many entrances to The Labyrinth hidden in multiple locations around that specific part of the universe I was in, the first of which was found in a fancy restaurant I went to with my dad in the first dream (which was the only Labyrinth dream that didn’t have Pep in it, mostly cause I didn’t have him yet at that time.)

The Labyrinth itself was made up of many levels full of these zombie-like people who would try to attack you if they found you, with said zombies becoming more dangerous the deeper in you got. Luckily, you could also find various weapons and resources in The Labyrinth that could help you survive, and maybe even escape.

For some reason a lotta people in that verse would actively seek out the entrances to it for reasons I still am not sure of. Maybe they believe some sort of treasure or reward laid in its depths, or perhaps they just did it for the thrill of it all.

Anyway, going back to the plot summary bullshit. A few months or something after this first dream when my Peppino plush was still new to my plushie hoard (as well as the whole traveling with me to other universes via my dreams thing, which he was at first a little reluctant towards but soon warmed up to). This was when I found another entrance to The Labyrinth inside a dying mall. I remember Pep being extremely anxious about being in The Labyrinth and wanting to leave as soon as possible. I remember there were these unreasonably complex puzzles that were blocking our only way out and having to use my reality warping powers to solve them. (Would’ve taken hours to finish them the “vanilla” way and ain’t nobody got time for that)

It was around then when we encountered these two women who turned out to be the kinda-sorta “final bosses” of the Labyrinth who basically controlled the entire place. I guess something about me “solving” the puzzle so quickly got there attention, cause usually you can only find the controllers at the very depths of the Labyrinth, which looks like a combination of a theatre and Hell itself.

And to make a long story short, this ritual of sorts ended up happening that created these fucked up clones of me and my Peppino plush called Bent!Neo and Bent!Peppino who ended up becoming the new “rulers” of The Labyrinth.

Idk why or what my reasoning it was for it, but for the rest of the Labyrinth Arc my goal was basically to find my way back to the very bottom of the Labyrinth and kill Bent!Neo. I think it was cause I thought doing that would destroy the Labyrinth, thus freeing anyone trapped in it but I’m not quite sure.

I remember that a few dreams later in the series, my Peppino plush’s soul ended up getting “stuck” inside the Labyrinthverse and I ended up having to go back to sleep to retrieve him. During this dream, Bent!Peppino started helping me behind Bent!Neo’s back, telling me where my Pepp was and helping me find him so he could “go home” so to speak. The reason for this was because while the Bent versions of us were in control of the Labyrinth, Bent!Pepp began to remember things.

Things that definitely weren’t from the Pizza Tower verse.

Things… from a past life in the verse The Labyrinth is in.

Turns out that (according to the dreams I had) before my Peppino plush existed, his… soul? Consciousness? Existed as the spirit of this guy who lived in the Labyrinthverse and ended up dying and eventually “possessing” the plush, thus giving Pepp sentience. Apparently the reason Bent!Pepp was able to learn this before the regular Pepp did was because his former self’s SON, named Benny ended up in the Labyrinth, where I guess they somehow crossed paths, thus causing him to remember his past life.

Bent!Peppino insisted on helping me defeat Bent!Neo as long as I promised to help my Peppino remember who he used to be and also make sure Benny would make it out of the Labyrinth alive.

It all reached a climax when I ended up teaming up with Benny and basically defeating Bent!Neo once and for all. Because of this, the Labyrinth was put into a dormant state of sorts, regular Peppino finally remembers his past life, and blah blah blah happy ending, you get it. For some reason, even though Bent!Neo and the Labyrinth were gone, Bent!Peppino was still around, and ended up deciding to stay in that verse with his kid.

For a while, that seemed to be the end of The Labyrinth arc and my journeys in it, until a more recent dream where I ended up back in that verse. Turned out, Bent!Neo wasn’t completely destroyed in that final battle, but instead was now left as an unstable blob of sorts, hellbent on getting their revenge against me. Luckily for me, I haven’t seen anything of him or that verse since then, so I guess that’s all she wrote so to speak.

But yeah, that’s all I have to say. I procrastinated on finishing the draft of this post WAY TOO HARD so it’s now been months since this arc of my dreams has ended. Hopefully y’all still enjoyed it nonetheless! :)

I have a bit more dream lore stuff to catch y’all up on, so be sure to stay tuned for more of this in the future if you enjoyed this little rambling

[theslowpath]

The doctor loves rose not you faggot

Ow the edge

[bacchuschucklefuck]

Ooh what's barbarian Figs subclass

m flipfloppin between giant and totem (def reskinned) for her rn! giant would be Really funny for junior year and there's some thematic stuff for the transformation element I think would be interesting, but just purely on a character basis I think fig would love totem esp. as a barbie girl in freshman year. if I land on totem I kinda imagine it like a wuxia animal style thing tbh, mostly just because the idea of someone coming into a fight expecting typical movie shaolin choreography and getting Teenager That Mauls You To Death is entertaining to me

[fitzselfships]

It's almost midnight but idc. After the week I've had all I want to do is curl up on them and fall asleep lol

Proshippers/adjacent dni. 100000 shark attack 🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈 also Zooble self ship doubles dni

[hoshinokaabi-secretsanta]

Out of curiosity, how does the skill grading work? Will we be getting a gift equal to or better than our artwork? Asking because out of honesty, I did not feel like I was paired with someone at my skill level.

This is a question we get a lot. Usually I avoid answering, because a lot of the time it's people trying to push us to disclose if we graded their art as "GOOD" or "BAD", which is totally not how it works nor is the purpose of our skill ranking system!! But considering how much more popular pairing people based on skill was as an option this year, and considering we will thus likely run it this way going forward as well, I'm willing to disclose aspects of our system.

These are my (the host's) guidelines copy and pasted from our mod chat:

"one is the lowest while five is the highest. when ranking i want you guys to consider the technical skill, how finished the works in their portfolio are, and consider the resolution their gift is at/the quality theyre able to share their gift. like if theyre decently technically skilled and their works are finished, but their art is all blurry because they draw at like 100x100 then theyd get marked down on the scale for that

were trying to be objective, of course. if youre deciding between one ranking or another, think about why specifically. we had great examples and explanations earlier from [mod] and myself should anyone want to see

take a participants entire portfolio into account, and try not to use preexisting knowledge of any participants capabilities, if it was not shown in their portfolio. this makes it fair between those we know/may be buddy-buddy with, and the rest of the strangers we are managing

ah and, be considerate towards a wide variety of art techniques and styles. what i mean is, dont just give higher rankings based on background/lighting/rendering, because plenty of super talented and technically skilled artists may not do backgrounds, or lighting, or rendering, or anything else along those lines

additionally, people who only offer writing/physical arts/other are just put in their OWN category, not on the number ranking scale. for those who offer drawings And another art, please mark it as [number]/[other art type]"

We ask for a portfolio, and maybe some people put art in it willy-nilly because they assumed we just wanted to know if they were capable of making a gift in the first place, but it matters a lot more than you think. There were some people who I personally knew were capable of making very large technically skilled pieces, but they only put small doodles and such in their portfolio, and out of fairness to all participants, I ranked them accordingly.

Sometimes people accumulate a small amount of incredible pieces over the years as well, and even if that's not an accurate representation of their typical art, I would rank them higher for that, because we rank people exclusively on what's in their portfolio.

This is also why we ask people to curate a portfolio instead of linking an art blog. If you only linked an art blog, your social media, or a gallery of every artwork you've ever made, we do take everything in your portfolio into account!

To answer your question, this system is far from perfect. I stated "technical skill" in my quoted response there, which is vague. Technical skill, as we define for this event, is not merely based on whether someone can do lighting, or express volume and texture, or naturalism, or anything else, because while those can be indicators of technical skill, we try to be open-minded and accommodating to all kinds of art styles and artists. To define how we rank via technical skill would be going into a lot of very complicated art philosophy and definitions (which to be fair, if you really pressed me, I could define in-depth for you. I'm in uni for fine arts, this is my niche).

If you feel like you weren't paired with someone of similar skill as yourself and feel disappointed by it, that's unfortunate, but it's also the nature of the event. We do try to pair people of generally similar skill levels, both giving and receiving-wise. Either you were paired with someone who was at a higher/lower end of your ranking bracket, or it was a quirk that comes out of inconsistently curated portfolios.

I'm disclosing this information in hopes it can bring ease to people in showing how much we care about being unbiased and fair in this event, to artists of all skill levels. These rankings are, for the record, not comfortable to assign to others in the first place by nature, and they're definitely not an indicator of whether one's art is "good" or "bad". Art is a journey with many steps, and a skill that takes a lot of time and energy to hone. Being at the bottom of a mountain doesn't mean you're a terrible climber, it just means we haven't yet seen your full potential!