#hated him. despised him. never had feelings for him. he only cared about lily and preserving what was left of her memory. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

firsttimewriter92 · 1 year ago

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I would love a sirius x reader fic set during OoTP where the reader works at the Ministry while being part of the Order like Arthur and Kingsley, and she's staying at Grimmauld Place with Sirius. She often comes home to find him drunk and touch-starved during the school year when the only other person in the house is Kreacher. thanks xx

Hello dear anon :) I know it´s been a while since you sent me this ask. I hope you´re still in the mood for it :P I kept it pretty tame but there´s a lot of angst and it developed into a huge slow burn. Hope that´s all right and everyone enjoyes it <3

Words: 7.536

Warnings: Angst, cursing, (f!) hufflepuff reader, mentions of Sirius being bisexual, kissing, slow burn, fluff

12 Years

“Oh, for fucks sake, not again” you whisper sighed as you entered the kitchen at Grimmauld Place number 12. “Third time this week” you grumbled as you looked at Sirius´ slumped over figure sitting on the polished wooden table. His arms cushioned his head that was laying on the surface, an almost empty bottle of fire whisky next to him. No glass.

Taking off your shawl and coat you walked over to him to assess the damage. It wasn��t as bad as it usually was. At least this time he was clothed.

Three months ago, your boss and mentor Kingsley Shacklebolt had brought you to your first order meeting. The moment he told you what the order was and what they did, you exploded on him. Why didn’t he tell you about this order sooner? Didn’t he trust you enough? Wasn’t he confident enough in your abilities? Kingsley had just stood there stoically, letting you spit fire at him. When you´d finished, Kingsley sighed deeply and started explaining his reluctance to you.

He knew. Of course, he did. He knew who you´d meet again, once you set foot into headquarters and he didn’t know how you´d react. He was right to do so actually. The first time your eyes had met those of Sirius Black, it had flared up again. That nauseating feeling that haunted you for 14 years. Guilt, sadness and loneliness were flooding your system with only a small glimmer of hope and relief.

It was so surreal to have him in your general vicinity again. Two years younger than him, your time at Hogwarts had been the happiest you´ve ever felt. When puberty hit you like a freight train and the mischief of James Potter and Sirius Black became legendary, your hormones betrayed you in the worst possible way. A major crush on the black-haired teenager formed itself inside your chest over the years. Clawing at your ribcage every time you saw him in the corridors, you hated the feeling. You hated his beautiful face, you hated that your body reacted the way it did.

As a Hufflepuff and general people pleaser you´d despised his arrogance and his devil may care attitude. Especially towards the swarms of girls hanging onto the seem of his cloak. You´d stolen glances from afar, never exchanging a word with him. You paid attention instead. You saw everything and liked only so much. His pranks amused you; his bullying infuriated you, his attentiveness to his friends and the younger students warmed you.

Sometimes, especially after the holidays, you saw him sitting in the great hall amongst his friends, a dull and empty look in his eyes and your heart had squeezed so painfully that you had to look away. About a second later, when you dared to look again, he was grinning and joking like nothing had happened.

And then, one year into your Auror training, your world came crashing down on you. You arrived at the ministry and immediately felt the air buzzing with dread and excited relief all at once. Grabbing the daily prophet that was handed to you with shaking fingers, your knees gave out then and there. Sirius´ face, screaming and laughing manically, stared at you. Ice replaced your blood as you´d read the news.

James and Lily dead. The dark Lord gone; a little boy still alive. Sirius? A cold-blooded murderer and traitor; already in a cell in Azkaban. You refused to believe it. You refused! James was more than a friend to Sirius. There was no way he was a death eater. Sirius had never made a secret about his hatred towards his family or how much he loved his friends.

That´s when your letters had begun bombarding the ministry.

__________________________________________________________

Now, here at Grimmauld place, you had to watch Sirius fight every day just to try and keep his sanity. Between the usual order meetings and the children coming to visit for the holidays, he drank himself to sleep every night. And ever since you´d moved into one of the bedrooms upstairs, you helped him into bed or at least onto a couch every night. Dumbledor was the one who´d asked you if you wanted one of the rooms upstairs. “Less commute” he´d said, remembering your dislike of apparating quite vividly. When asked if he had any objections, Sirius had only grunted before disappearing into Buckbeak´s room.

He wasn´t always unpleasant, however. Sometimes you did have conversations when meeting in the library by chance, although they´d always turned out quite meaningless. You couldn’t figure out if he wanted you there or not.

Around the holidays when the house was full, so his heart seemed to be. He warmed up to you, brought you tea, filled your plate at dinner (much to the surprise of everyone at the table) and conversed with you a little more enthusiastically. At these rare occasions you began to see glimpses of the flamboyant teenager return into his grey eyes and his small grins. Your heart beginning to flutter in your chest yet again. Then the teenagers returned to Hogwarts and so did Sirius´ sour mood.

It was about two weeks after Christmas now and therefore the 14th day of you finding Sirius black out drunk early in the evening. You walked over to the cabinet in the corner of the kitchen and pulled out the last flask of potion you´d brewed for him. It usually woke him up enough for you to be able to manoeuvre him around and lessen his hangover the next day. You hadn’t quite figured out how to make it potent enough to get rid of his drunkenness completely. It was an immensely complicated brew.

Sighing, you uncorked the flask and moved Sirius into a sitting position. He mumbled something and flopped around in your arms like a rag doll. Leaning his head back you put the flask to his mouth and poured. Sirius tried to get out of your grip very weakly and some of the potion spilled from the side of his mouth. “Come on, Sirius, please” you said urgently. “Swallow, damn it.” He finally did. When the flask was empty you gently guided his head back onto the table and waited.

You knew he wouldn’t be sober when he woke up but at least he would be coherent enough to work with. Slowly he began to stir. His head lifted and with a deep groan he leaned back into his chair, holding the bridge of his nose. The long black mass of hair on his head was dishevelled but still wavy and bouncy as it had been all these years ago. The little streaks of grey on his temples and in his beard only contributed to his still very much intact attractiveness.

Sirius wiped at his mouth absentmindedly and opened his eyes. Grey orbs found yours sitting across from him immediately. Instantly you recognized the defiance in them. Great.

“I asked you to give me that shit in the mornings. Not when I´m trying to sleep” he croaked hoarsely in a cold voice. You rolled your eyes. “I´m not letting you sleep at the table, Sirius. Not when you own a bed upstairs. But I can´t lift your arse, so…” you shrugged and looked at him challengingly. You´d figured out quite quickly that trying to be compassionate and soft with him in these situations had no impact whatsoever. Sirius huffed and wiped at his face again to try and gain more control over his movements.

“Never asked you to do that” he slurred slowly. Hot annoyance burned your throat when you answered in a hiss. “´S better than you trying to climb some stairs, falling backwards and breaking your fucking neck.” Sirius laughed humourlessly and looked you straight in the face.

“Not so sure about that.” He had a weird glimmer in his slightly sunken eyes.

“For fucks sake, Sirius!” you yelled as your fist hit the table. Sirius flinched only slightly as you regarded him with a furious look. “Could you at least pretend that you care about your own life? I know you´re lonely and frustrated. I´m sorry I´m annoying you by staying here but the order still needs you! Harry needs you!” You knew you had him with that. His godson seemed to be his only lifeline sometimes. “I won´t pretend to know what you had to go through, Sirius. But you´ve been given a second chance at this, even though you didn’t even get a first one. And you´re drinking it away. Stop it!”

Sirius looked at you for a long time. Breathing heavily his eyes threw daggers at you and internally you just waited for him to cuss you out. That didn’t happen though. Sirius stood up from his chair without breaking eye contact with you. You didn’t like the way he started walking over to you, almost predatory. So, you stood as well and backed away against the table. Of course, you´d crossed a line.

Watching him step closer and closer you had no idea what he was trying to do. The moment he stood right in front of you, his breath hit your face. It reeked of alcohol, and you crunched your nose a little bit. Sirius grinned, showing off his sharp canines.

“You´re worried about me” he sang triumphantly but couldn’t quite remove the belittlement from his voice. Even though you were sure he could feel the heat emitting from your face, your stomach churned with rage instead of shame. “At least someone is” you hissed quietly. He ignored it and only raised a single black eyebrow. You hated how good he looked doing that.

“Don´t tell me,” He breathed and leaned down closer to you. Fuck, fuck! Too close! “You have a little crush on me.” Your head snapped up immediately and your face must have betrayed you because Sirius´ face lit up in sarcastic glee. He chuckled darkly as his eyes scanned your face quickly. “Is that why you wanted to live here? Aw, that´s nice. How old are you? You couldn’t have been in my year at Hogwarts. I´d sure as fuck remember you.” Again, there they were. The waves of nausea crashing over you. Your infatuation with him mixed with worry about his behaviour started to become a cocktail of resentment and pity. You didn’t want to feel this way about him.

“Get the fuck out of my face, Black” you growled and leaned further away from him. Something dangerous mixed itself into his swirling grey irises and your stomach sank.

“Come on now, birdy” he whispered, leaning over you and talking against your neck. Your breathing faltered and hitched, your hands gripping the side of the table hard. “You´re pretty enough. You´d be a delightful way to pass the time.” Shock almost made your body convulse. You knew he was still drunk but his words were so clear. You felt cold, useless and helpless. His lips ghosted across your pulse when he spoke again. “Don´t be a prude, now.”

WHACK!

Your arm pushed him away from you forcefully before your hand collided with his cheek with full force, knocking him back a couple of steps. Breathing heavily, you stood upright and glared at him. His head was still turned so you could see his pale cheek turn red by your smack. When he looked back at you, you didn’t see rage or confusion in his eyes. In fact, they looked almost apologetically, like he knew he´d fucked up but was too proud to admit it.

Your eyes were slits when you spoke next. “Have it your way, then. I can´t deal with a three-split persona. Either hate me, tolerate me or fucking ignore me completely. But one more disrespectful bullshit act like that and I swear, Black, you´ll have one less ally here.”

With those venom laced words you turned on your heel and stormed out the kitchen and upstairs to your room.

Sirius stood there alone in the kitchen for another few minutes. The alcohol was still thrumming in his veins, but he was all too aware of what he´d done. What he´d said, even as he said it.

Of course, he knew you were right with everything you´d said. And that infuriated him more than he cared to admit. Why were you even here? After a stressful day at the ministry, you came back to a horribly decorated, dirty, uncomfortable hellhole of a house, a house elf that insulted you whenever he got the chance to and a fucking drunk man child. Every night. Sometimes he´d wondered how he´d gotten onto the sofa in the library or into his own bed after drinking. He´d had an idea that it might have been you, but he couldn’t be sure. Now he was.

You´d always made him drink the hangover potion that was in the cabinet in the corner. Had he ever thought about how it got there? Who bought or made it? He couldn’t remember.

You didn’t deserve this. He actually came to appreciate your presence over the holidays. He found you witty and bright, a delight if he was honest with himself. And the fact that you were a special kind of beautiful in his eyes didn’t help at all. So why couldn’t he allow you to grow closer to him? You clearly made an effort to at least know him better.

Bitterly he walked over to the almost empty bottle of whisky, setting it to his mouth. Thinking better of it he stopped, turned and poured the remains down the sink. There was a horrible taste in his mouth. Either hate me; He didn’t hate you. Tolerate me; He wanted to do so much more than that. Or fucking ignore me completely; How the fuck was he supposed to do that when you just…existed?!

He really needed to get his head out of his arse. That was no way to talk to anyone. You just wanted to help. Why though? He´d never seen you before. At least he couldn’t remember but then again, he´d surely lost a lot of memories back in prison. You must have been at Hogwarts.

Oh fuck, were you an old flame?! His body went rigid when he thought about that. It would kind of explain your behaviour towards his advances. Or…OR, you dickhead, she just didn’t want a sorry drunk, smelling like a distillery all over her. Sirius shook his head. Why was either rage or excessive flirting always his default? Because he didn’t think you´d react like that. He was way out of line of course, so he really didn’t think his hunch about you having a crush on him would have this much of an impact. How the hell could you like him when he behaved so poorly in front of you; when he hadn’t paid you much attention since you´d moved in?

Maybe he should start doing that.

________________________________

You lay in your bed that evening, hot tears running down your face and sweat beading at your forehead. You felt so lost. Had you really been holding onto this teenage version of him so desperately that you couldn’t see how much he was suffering now as a man?

It´s true, he´d never asked for your help. Were your actions overstepping boundaries of his that you just couldn’t see? He´d made you feel so insignificant that evening with just a few words. You felt downright dirty and even though he didn’t really do anything more than graze his lips along your neck, you felt used.

You´re pretty enough…enough. Was your intuition really this bad? Had you read him all wrong for all these years? No. He was drunk, he was frustrated, he was alone. Maybe someday he´d let you help him with at least that. His loneliness.

__________________________

The next evening there was supposed to be an order meeting and you were dreading it like nothing else. You tip toed around the house the whole day, praying that you wouldn’t run into Sirius at least until the Meeting started. Unfortunately, you weren’t that lucky.

When you made your way downstairs to the kitchen, you crept along the corridor quietly as to not wake up the shrieking portrait of Sirius´ mother. Just as you were about to open the door to your left down into the kitchen another one further down the corridor opened and Sirius walked out. Both of you stopped immediately when your eyes met. Your whole body went rigid and hot acid bubbled up your throat. Sirius stood still. He looked at you with an unreadable expression. He sighed deeply and his eyes changed into something calmer and softer.

He opened the door to the room he´d just exited again and waved you over. When you couldn’t move from your spot, his face contorted into a pleading look and he mouthed a ´please´, waving you over once again. And even though your legs felt like jelly, you started moving. Your heart was beating out of your chest when you passed him. You noticed he smelled clean. Clean clothes, clean hair, no alcohol on his breath or his skin.

You walked into the little study and turned around just as Sirius closed the door timidly behind him.

He squared his shoulder and looked at you. You were sure he could see your shiver.

“I have to apologize” he rumbled. “I behaved…incredibly disrespectful towards you last night and you have every right to resent me after what I´ve said.”

You stared at him. That wasn’t exactly what you expected. But it was also very much welcome. You stayed quiet, noticing that he was still trying to talk, having difficulty finding the words. So, you gave him time, schooling your features into not looking at him like you wanted to be anywhere but in his presence.

Sirius started pacing and mumbling before he looked at you again. “´S been difficult” he whispered. “I´m sorry, truly.” He hung his head, raking his fingers through his hair. “I´m not really sure what else to tell you. I-I don’t know you. But…maybe that could change? I mean, you live here. Might as well be…house…mates? Urgh” he groaned loudly and only stopped when you started giggling. He whipped his head in your direction and raised an eyebrow.

You stood there and watched him fight tooth and nail to explain what he wanted and honestly, after his apology you found it kind of amusing. Sirius was anything but insincere, so you didn’t question his motives in wanting to get to know you better. You appreciated it immensely and slowly your body relaxed, the acid in your throat started to retreat.

“Listen,” he said with a lopsided smile, his eyes glued to your smirk. “You can´t laugh at me for having terrible interpersonal skills. I was incarcerated for 12 years.” Your giggle immediately stopped as you looked at him with guilt.

“Relax” he said gently. “Sometimes jokes are the only thing that help me coping.” You nodded hesitantly.

“Did I even introduce myself properly when we first met?” he curiously asked.

“Not exactly” you said with a small shrug and a smile. “You were half drunk and just grunted.”

“Merlin´s beard” he sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He stood tall and walked over to you.

“Can we start over then? Can I salvage my reputation somehow?” He stood before you. Tall, handsome and kind. His hand was outstretched.

“I´m Sirius Black. Welcome to my lovely home” he said in a deep velvety and mildly sarcastic voice that made the hair in your neck stand up. “It´s nice to meet you, ___.” It was heartfelt, the way he said it. You reached out your hand and shook his. “Likewise, Mr. Black” you said.

He didn’t let your hand go for a moment, a grin spreading on his face. One that let him look years younger, one you wanted to see for all eternity. The little crinkles around his expressive grey eyes were the most adorable thing you´d ever seen.

Sirius looked like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders when he gently guided you out of the study and down into the kitchen. “By the way,” he said as you descended the stairs. “You´ll find that my humour is kind of fucked. I´ll stop the heavy drinking, promise. So, no need to walk on eggshells around me, ´k?” He turned his head up to you, giving you a beautiful angle of his neck and the tattoos that scattered down from his ear and disappeared into his collar.

“If you´re sure” you said with a grin of your own. His eyes blitzed amusedly as the both of you entered the kitchen. What you didn’t see was the curious look Arthur and Molly Weasley exchanged when they saw Sirius pulling out a chair for you before sitting down himself.

_______________________________

The meeting progressed and plans were made. The debate was already heated enough before Snape decided to speak. The moment he opened his mouth, your eyes rolled to the side. You resented that man with every fibre of your being. Mostly because he seemed to have it out for Sirius. Taunting him whenever he could. It was unnecessary and just plain vile.

“It´s easy for you to say, Black. You´re just sitting comfortably in your home while everyone else is either being productive or helpful. At least not all of us have to deal with your bipolar character” Snape snarled and gave you a pity filled look. You were about ready to tell him to kiss you where the sun don´t shine when Sirius spoke up. He was relaxing into his chair, staring at Snape with a victorious grin.

“Congratulations, Sniffellus. At least you got the bi-part right.”

Snorting into your wine glass you coughed several times before trying to hold back a fit of giggles. You looked at Sirius´ smug face grinning at you. His eye twitched to look dangerously like a wink and you knew that the heat in your cheeks didn’t form because of the wine.

_______________________________________

The days after became more and more comfortable. Sirius kept his promise to you not to drink excessively anymore and greeted you sober every evening when you returned. You ate dinner together and talked a lot more. You actually began looking forward to coming back to Grimmauld place every night. The kitchen was cozy and warm, soft light from candles and gas lamps illuminated the space as you sat at the table, sharing stories from your time at Hogwarts and your Auror training.

Day after day Sirius seemed to hang onto your every word more and you slowly got to know his sense of humour and therefore gradually you stopped feeling guilty whenever he made a joke about his time in Azkaban. Of course, you knew that deep down, 12 years in that horrible place left its marks, but it seemed like he was done with showing them to you.

“So,” he said one evening, cheeks tinted a beautiful rosy colour from the wine he´d poured the both of you. “You were two years under me. A Hufflepuff and a brainiac.” His voice sounded impressed. “What I can´t believe though” he said and took a swig of his wine, “Is that you were a beater in the quidditch team, and we actually played against each other?!”

You grinned and nodded. “We did. I remember it vividly. I´d just gotten into the team and our first match was you guys. You were in your last year. I tried so hard to hit those bludgers in your or James´ direction, but my strategy was futile. James was too quick, and you were too wicked on a broom” you shook your head in mock disbelieve while Sirius´ eyes gleamed with excitement.

“I don’t get it” he said with an almost dreamy look on his face. His chin rested in his palm as he spoke. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you´ve got spark but I would have recognized that in school. You told me you were a closed off and private. But then you go joining the quidditch team as a beater no less. How?”

You smiled at him. “Well,” you said amusedly and took a sip of your glass. “I was closed off, that´s true. But that doesn’t mean that I had no personality. There was a certain potential of rage. I had to let that go somewhere.” You shrugged with a grin. Sirius looked at you impressed.

He topped off your wineglass and spoke. “I´m impressed. The closed off, timid girl, grew up to be a fearless auror.” You shook your head. “Fearless is not true” you said calmly. “Fighting death eaters fearless is a stupid idea. Makes you end up looking like Mad eye” you smirked and winked at him. Your palms encased your cheeks as you spoke in a high-pitched voice. “Compared to him and looking at all this” you turned your head prettily left and right, “I was scared shitless every time.”

Sirius threw his head back an bellowed a joyous laugh. It fitted him so well all you could do was stare at him in awe. He wiped at the corner of his eyes and gasped for air. “Merlin, I really regret being such an insufferable prick to you up until now.”

“Thank you” you said earnestly. “You´re not so bad yourself.”

He smiled at you sweetly. “And we never talked in Hogwarts?” he asked. “Are you sure?” he sounded almost hopeful. You huffed laugh and shook your head. “I´m sure” you said, feeling the wine coursing through your veins, making you bold. “I avoided you like the plague.”

Sirius´s face fell, and you were quick to answer. “It wasn’t because I thought you were a bad person.” Quite the opposite actually. “More like…you were…intimidating.” He raised an eyebrow at that. “Intimidating?” he asked. You nodded.

“Yes. You and your friends…you were legendary as it was. Everyone either knew you, hated your guts or was crushing on you” you could feel your face heat up once more. “I just didn’t see the point of being one of many, you know.” You smiled at him timidly, his expression somewhat empty. “I did pay attention, though.”

A little more light appeared in Sirius´ eyes at that. “You were?”

You took a deep breath and downed the rest of your wine. Fuck it!

Nodding you continued. “Yes. I mean, you were hard to miss. But I´d often see how you joked with your friends, how you comforted the younger students. It was nice to see that side of you. It always made me wonder why you decided to act on your ´attention whore´ attitude more. But then again, I didn’t know you privately, so I don’t even know if I´m right with that.” You rushed the last sentence and reached for the wine bottle. Sirius´ hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. His fingers were strong but gentle.

Goosebumps appeared immediately on your skin. The little hairs on your forearm standing up when you looked up and directly into his eyes. He regarded you with a look full of wonder, gratitude and something pleading. “What else did you see?” he whispered, leading your hand down onto the table, not letting go. Ok, this seemed to be a little too intimate, but you were damned if you broke eye contact for even just a second. It was time to come clean.

“I saw how you always seemed different when we all came back from holiday. At least for a few years. You were always…sad one minute and then chipper the next. It looked fake.” His eyes grew wide. “I saw how your eyes would not leave Remus´ plate that you packed with food until he was done eating. That always happened after he turned.” Sirius´ fingers tightened. “How do you know about that?” he asked in awe.

You raised both eyebrows. “As I said. I paid attention. Still do.” At your words and to your utter delight, Sirius began absentmindedly stroking his thumb across the soft skin of the underside of your wrist. There was no way in hell he didn’t feel the insistent and fast beating underneath.

“I saw a lot of things that made you more than just an attention seeker to me. What I didn’t like, at all, was the bullying. James and you. You were both better than that. Sure, Snape was a little git but…sometimes you overdid it.” Sirius hung his head for a moment and nodded silently before looking at you again. An ashamed look spread across his face. “I know. We could be quite…insufferable. At that age you don’t really think about these things” he said quietly. You nodded in understanding. “I know. And I also know that Snape wasn’t exactly innocent himself. But I guess it´s no wonder he hates your guts. He´s still a bloody git, though.” You grinned at him.

Sirius took a deep breath. “You saw all that without ever having spoken a word to me?”

“Yes”

Sirius looked impressed and incredibly moved.

“´S no wonder Kingsley bursts at the seams with pride for you. I guess death eaters have no chance when it comes to you.”

Blushing hard you grinned bashfully but shook your head. “I´m not that good in the field” you said, and Sirius raised an eyebrow in doubt. “But when it comes to interrogations, if they make it that far, I´m actually very successful. I either get a full confession or at least some names. Always.” You spoke the last part with as much confidence as you could muster, hoping you´d impress him at least a little bit.

“Wow” Sirius breathed. “And you think I´m intimidating?” You giggled. “No, not anymore, actually.” He seemed very pleased with that.

You sat there for a moment in silence. Your eyes trained on his tattooed fingers still gently wrapped around your wrist. Ever tiny movement they made sent waves of shivers over your body.

“Can I ask you a question?” Sirius asked quietly. “HmHm” you mumbled, still not looking up. “Please, look at me” Your head snapped up at his tone. His eyes were filled with something so soft it made your heart quake.

“I can´t stop thinking about it…The other night, you said I was drinking my second chance away.” You nodded. “Even though I didn’t really have a first one. What did you mean by that?”

“Oh” you said and looked at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I meant your trial.”

Sirius´ eyebrows shot to his hairline.

“M-My trial?” he stuttered out? “I didn’t-“

“-get one, I know. That´s what I mean.”

He looked at you with a shocked expression before his face relaxed. A grateful smile stretched onto his lips as he looked at you fondly. Slowly, his fingers that held your wrist moved to lift your hand up to his face. Not breaking eye contact he gently but firmly pressed his mouth to your knuckles, effectively knocking the wind out of your lungs. Times stilled. The edges of your vision blurred, and a loud beeping noise filled your ears. It felt like you were about to pass out from a fever when his lips left your skin, and an uncomfortable cold ran over your back.

Sirius set your hand back onto the table and seemed reluctant as he let it go.

_____________________________________________

The next days were a blur. A happy blur. You were walking on clouds, you were dreaming so much more vividly and to no surprise, Sirius´ face always ended up being the main character. Sirius seemed much happier as well. He went out of his way to make you comfortable. For the past week now, he´d cooked you dinner and scolded you whenever you tried to help him out. He´d point his finger at you, his eyes comically narrowed and told you to sit down at the table.

It also seemed like he tried to be closer to you whenever he could. He´d stand closer to you, he´d sit closer to you, he´d guide you through doors by the small of your back. It all wasn’t helping your situation at all. He changed his behaviour towards you so dramatically, you weren’t able to stop your old crush from coming back. Not when he looked at you so dreamily sometimes, not when you both dissolved into laughter about some silly story, not when you thought about his lips on your skin.

Every time you thought about that night, your whole body started to tingle. The little flirts just came naturally to the both of you. So much so, that it was in no time, that the whole order noticed something was going on. Most of them seemed very pleased by the fact that they didn’t have to deal with Sirius´ outbursts anymore. Especially Remus. He regarded the two of you often with mirth in his eyes while Tonks almost ripped out his arm when she noticed as well.

The only thing that dampened the sugar high you constantly seemed to be on, was the fact that even though Sirius and you started flirting heavily, nothing ever came of it. In the last minute, either him or you, would draw back and either laugh it off or deal with a few moments of awkwardness. There was a magnetic pull forming between the both of you, and both of you felt it. It got stronger with ever shared meal and laugh.

These days, it got so much harder to fall asleep. Your heart beating against your ribcage so insistently that it was a herculean task to calm down. Apparently, it started to show.

You came down into the kitchen one Saturday morning with Sirius working on the stove. Even though you felt knackered, there was no way you would ever not appreciate his broad shoulders and lean back, covered by some raggedy old band-shirt. You smiled fondly at his back. He heard you approach and turned halfway around. “Good morning, darlin´.” Again, goosebumps everywhere and your heart going ballistic. “G´ mornin´” you yawned.

Sirius turned the stove off and turned to you fully. The smile on his lips vanishing when he saw you. “Are you feeling ok, ___? You look tired.” He rounded the table quickly and came to a stop close in front of you. So close. It took everything in you not to take a deep, deep breath.

“Fine. Didn’t sleep well last night” you said. Lie. You haven’t been able to sleep properly for a couple of nights now.

Sirius looked around your face worriedly. “Do you need one of those pick me up potions you always gave me? I can give you some money to go get them.” That made you chuckle. You lifted your hand and very gently ruffled the soft, black locks on his head.

“Oh, Sirius” you said smiling. “I didn’t buy them. I made them.” It took him a moment to let your spoken words sink in. His eyes went impossibly wide, then slightly damp. You retracted your hand from his head.

Sirius couldn’t hold on. In one gentle swoop he bent down slightly and pulled you into his chest by your waist. Your arms wound around his neck in an instant. Delirious with happiness you pressed your forehead against the side of his neck and felt the vibrato of his voice against it as he hummed contently. He smelled divine. A mixture of firewood, tobacco and something citrusy. It smelled like coming home and you felt your crush bloom into something much more valuable. It didn’t scare you at all. You were cradled in his arms, his cheek atop your head, his hands gently caressing the small of your back. You could´ve stayed like that forever.

“There´s nothing I could give you to make up for all the shit I´ve put you through” he whispered into your hair. “I don´t deserve the kindness you´ve given me or are still giving.” You shook your head against his neck and wanted to speak, but he was quicker. “You make it more than bearable to stay in this house, love. I don’t know where I would be if you hadn’t decided to move in.”

You stook on your toes to be able to hug him closer and he pulled you in with a desperate sigh against your ear. “I was such a fucking arsehole to you. I´m so sorry.” Hot tears formed in your eyes when you heard his tone. “You are lonely” you choked out. “And frustrated. I get it.”

“…was” he whispered and slowly withdrew just a little to look you in the face. His gorgeous, regal features were formed into a look of gratitude and longing.

“What?”

“I was lonely and frustrated” he emphasized. “Not anymore.”

His blazing silver eyes took in the entirety of your face before closing them and leaning his forehead gently against yours. “I´m glad you´re here with me” he said before kissing your forehead and almost sending you to the ground. The tears spilled over. Sirius noticed them and used his little finger to wipe them from your face.

“Why aren´t you able to sleep? What do you need?”

“I think it´ll be a little easier now” you said with a watery smile. Sirius nodded his head, for the time being, he was satisfied with your answer.

“Let´s eat breakfast before everyone shows up for the meeting. The moment I have to look at Snapes hair, I´ll not be able to eat for hours.”

_________________________________________

The meeting went quite well. Most of the time people were calm and the plans you´d made weeks before, finally came to fruition.

You were sitting beside Sirius who´s palm sat comfortably on your thigh underneath the table. It burned your skin and made you a bit drowsy with longing, but you paid attention still.

After the meeting, some of the members stayed for dinner and drinks after. Everyone had a great time. Sirius and you stood a little to the side, close together and smiling happily.

“Well, finally” came a booming voice from the table and your head swivelled towards Kingsley. He had a dopey grin on his face, wiggling his eyebrows as he regarded Sirius and you. It was evident that he was quite tipsy.

“I really thought it would never happen. You two” he pointed at the both of you and with a hiss you gestured for him to quit it. “Kingsley” you whisper yelled while Sirius next to you just tried to bite back a huge grin. “What?” Kingsley slurred. “You could at least thank me, you know. For bringing you here. ´S the last thing you deserved after all these dumb howlers. Haha!” You felt the colour drain from your face. Oh no. Oh no. “Kingsley, shut up!” You hissed at him again. Sirius looked very curiously between you and Kingsley.

“What howlers did you send him, darling?” he asked in an amused tone.

“SO MANY HOWLERS!!” Kingsley yelled and nearly fell of his chair. “You´re lucky I started intercepting them when I became your mentor. If the committee had found out that the one terrorising them with howlers was actually an auror trainee…I tell ya. You wouldn’t be an auror today.”

“Oh Merlin, help me” you sighed. “Kingsley, please just drop it.”

Sirius´ face was filled with question marks. “What in Merlin saggy left nut is he talking about?”

Kingsley explained. “You see, dear Sirius. This one,” he pointed at you with a shit eating grin. “This one wouldn’t take no for an answer. She tried to send them anonymously and for the most part it worked. Until they set me on it. I found out it was you,” he playfully glared at you. You wanted to sink into the floor and never emerge again. “At this point I was already training you and you had so much potential. So, I made it work.” He sounded so proud of himself.

Sirius had walked over to Kingsley, still smiling and trying to figure it out. “What howlers did she send Kingsley? Why would they be so dangerous for her career?”

“Oh” Kingsley said, and his eyes went big. “Oh, you don’t know.” Sirius looked taken aback.

“I don’t know?”

“Yeah, the howlers, the letters she sent. They were because of you.”

Sirius went still, staring at Kingsley intently. “What do you mean, they were because of me?”

“Kingsley…” you tried again but your voice was too quiet. You could only let it happen. You´d try to explain it to Sirius later. That was, if he didn’t throw you out the house.

“They were trial demands” Kingsley said matter of factly and the air was suddenly too think to breath. You felt like drowning.

“Trial demands” Sirius whispered as he put two and two together. He turned to you slowly. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, embarrassment making your skin feel like it was on fire.

“Kingsley?” he asked in a dry tone without looking away from you. You felt his eyes boring into you. “Kingsley, when did you intercept the last demand?”

Kingsley hummed. “Hmmm…. the last one I got was about four days before your escape from Azkaban was made public. Before that, they came in once a week like c-clockwork.”

You heard Sirius take in a sharp breath. When he spoke next, he was calm, quiet and somehow sounded unsure. As if he couldn’t believe what he´d just heard.

“You…you tried to get me a trial…for 12 years?”

Your shoulders pulled themselves upwards as if you were trying to sink into your own body before you nodded, looking at the floor.

You heard a sniffle from somewhere to your right. It sounded like Molly Weasley.

“___” you heard Sirius say. His tone was choked up and still unsure. “Please look at me” he pleaded.

You couldn’t. You couldn’t bare the look on his face. He already knew about the crush you´d had on him in school and now he´d found out that even as a grown woman you tried so hard to get with him. He must be so appalled.

You shook your head no.

“12 years?” you heard him ask again.

You nodded.

“Every week?” His voice was closer now.

You nodded. His shoes appeared directly in front of you and you cowered back against the counter even further. “Don´t do that” he whispered. “Don’t…please, look at me.” His voice cracked and at that your head snapped up to look at him. The sight broke and healed your heart all at once.

Silent tears were running down his tinted cheeks. His eyes were swimming with something you couldn’t pin point. With a wobbly voice he spoke.

“You didn’t believe it was me?”

“Of course not” you whispered, throat tight.

“Why not? Everybody else did”

“There was no fucking way you´d betray James” you shook your head defiantly. “No way. It all fit too well. They used your family name and the reputation behind it. But I knew you couldn’t have been a death eater. I saw you…in school…” Your own voice began to crack when you thought back to the day you learned what´d happened to him.

Sirius nodded slowly. “Yes. You saw me. You saw me. You always have” Gentle, warm hands lifted to your face and encased it. Sirius looked at you like you were the only other living being in the world. Another tear fell down. “Don’t you ever, ever, call your feelings for me a simple crush” he said and smiled at you. “I didn’t know I had such a loyal warrior out there.” Your face was also tear stained by this point. You sniffed and Sirius gently shook his head.

“No more tears, my love. I´ve got you now.” And with that, he pulled your head to his and pressed his lips to yours. It was like a rubber band snapped in your chest. As your hands tangled in his hair at the base of his neck, he hugged you ever closer, lifting you a little and moving his lips more insistently against yours. This was right, this was perfect.

Open mouthed kisses were pressed against your lips slowly, thoroughly. There was no sound except for his breathing and his heart. A throat cleared itself in the background and with a groan Sirius let go of your lips, looking at you. His grin seemed excited. You didn’t have a chance but to reciprocate it.

“You know that it´s not a simple crush you have on me, right?” Sirius winked at you. You nodded in defeat and leaned your forehead against his chest. You felt his chuckle. “Come on, dove” he taunted you good naturedly. “Call it by its name. Please?”

Your eyes met his and they twinkled with a juvenile excitement you hadn’t observed on him yet.

“I´m in love with you” you said and smiled.

Sirius closed his eyes to let your words really penetrate his mind and soul. The hands around your waist tightened before he nodded with an equal smile. Again his lips met yours. This time, shorter, sweeter.

“So am I” he whispered against them. “I love you. My beautiful fighter. You´ve saved me.”

___________________________________________________________

thank you very much for reading. If you liked it, please leave a reblog or a comment so I can improve :) I´m grateful for every feedback I get. Thanks a lot

#sirius black x reader #older Sirius Black x reader #older sirius black #post azkaban sirius black x you #post azkaban sirius black #x reader #x you #x you fluff #slow burn #post azkaban sirius black x reader #sirius orion black #sirius black fanfic #sirius black fanfiction #old sirius black x reader #ootp fanfiction #ootp #ootp fic

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myslutwritings · 1 year ago

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Hii! Can you please do Muzan, Kokushibo, and Akaza with a super clingy s/o who always wants to be near them and hold/be held by them?

Yup!! definitely.

➤ Muzan, Kokushibo and Akaza with a clingy!S/O

➤ SFW headcanons

��

•

(not proof read)

Muzan

Muzan never has experienced a single ounce of affection in his life.

So when you enter the picture and you’re all over him, all up in his personal space, basically attached to his hip, Muzan detests it.

He despises it in the beginning, wanting nothing to do with you. Views clingy people as pathetic and sees affection has a weakness.

It destroys his ego whenever you make him go all soft for you so for that he avoids you.

But if you’re close enough with him he’ll allow it.

If he allows it that just means he likes it.

Especially loves it when you comfort him after he’s had a bad day. (Which is like everyday because he cannot seek out that damn blue spider lily)

Complains about it as you play with his hair or hood him in your arms.

You’re always the one initiating cuddle sessions.

But on the days you’re not in a good mood, Muzan will surprisingly hold you without you having to ask.

Isn’t opposed to holding you whatsoever.

He knows you’re super clingy but make sure you steer away from him when he’s in a bad mood.

If you continuously cling to him whenever he’s pissed off this man will not tolerate it.

Might break your hand if you try to touch him and will not feel bad until later when he’s calmed down.

On any other day, he couldn’t care less if you cling to him.

Will bring you to uppermoon meetings because he hates leaving you alone in the house anyway.

You accompany him to the meetings while he chastises his upper-ranked demons.

You’re either on his lap during these meetings or standing right next to him.

The other demons are just flabbergasted on how you’re that close to him.

Kokushibo doesn’t care that much, Douma just think it’s amusing, Akaza is beyond confused, Hantengu is scared, Gyokko prolly says something about it and in return gets decapitated for speaking lowly of you and Daki and Gyutaro envy you. Especially Daki. 💀💀

Kokushibo

Alright, Koku here doesn’t exactly hate it and he isn’t even against it, he just isn’t all that used to it!

So when you approach him and you’re all over him, kissing him, playing with his hair and just never leaving him he is taken aback.

Is also semi-surprised that you aren’t scared of him since he’s the most powerful upper-ranked.

Like, are you not petrified, hello??

Koku also gets a tiny bit flustered as first with how physically affectionate you are all the time.

Then again he isn’t used to it so he blushes and feels his body warm up by your charming presence.

However, in due time his flustered personality vanishes and he opens up more to you.

I feel like he has some trust issues so he’s hesitant when trusting you until he realizes how amazing you are.

He doesn’t really express his emotions but deep down he’s always shocked how a sweet, innocent creature like you isn’t scared of him considering your bitter sweet personality.

Lowkey loves it when you baby him.

Kokushibo adores being with you but i’m afraid you cannot tag along with him when he has to intend the meetings.

You’ll get killed in spot, even if he’s against it.

If you were a demon, it would be different.

Kokushibo desires to be with you forever, wants you to be by his side for all eternity and offers to turn you into a demon.

All though, he’s lowkey paranoid that if you become a demon you’ll adorable clingy personality will disappear.

Why must life be so hard?

Akaza

Like Kokushibo, he isn’t used to it but does warm up to your behavior rather quickly and learns to adapt to it.

Ends up loving it, obviously. Out of all the uppermoon demons he probably the most human-like. Your clingy personality feels oddly nostalgic to him.. (ifykyk)

Akaza finds you very strange sometimes but that’s only because he’s never met a human like you before! Like how are you so touchy and clingy? He’s killed hundreds of people yet you stare at him with so much love glistening in your gaze.

It confuses him but whatever.

Akaza isn’t as clingy as you are but as y’all’s lovely relationship progresses he finds himself wanting to be with you all the time.

Akaza always has his hands all over you, the same way you do to him!

Usually he’s in a very bad mood when Muzan treats him like shit or when Douma teases him.

Immediately comes home to you, seeking your comfort and warm touch.

Of course you reciprocate and smother him in kisses or hugs.

I like to think Akaza gets REALLY flustered if you pepper his face in kisses. Like it makes his face flush immediately and he giggles.

You think it’s fucking adorable so you keep in mind to do that on the days he’s upset.

You hold Akaza in your arms as he vents to you about whatever made him mad.

Akaza wishes more than anything he could bring you along to the uppermoon meetings but knows the consequences so unfortunately you can’t attend them with him:(

The very moment he returns from them you’re all up in his business.

You legitimately just pounce into his arms as soon as the door opens, scaring him in the process.

Akaza makes sure to satisfy your clingy self to make up for him being gone for so long. He makes sure to spend all his time with you for the rest of the night.

Sorry this disappearing again my lovely readers🙏 but i’m back for now to write y’all’s requests:)

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lilithofpenandbook · 4 months ago

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Lily Evans was quite literally too "good" for Severus Snape

Lily Evans seems to be quite the spot of controversy in the Snapedom. Some love her, some hate her. And a very common opinion is that she was not a good friend to Snape, considering she left him, especially considering how vulnerable he was. She's supposed to be such a good, wonderful person, so why would she abandon her friend? Especially over something he said in a moment of pain? Clearly this means she's actually a bad person and everyone else has exaggerated her goodness.

But here's the thing: she broke up with Snape because of her goodness.

We view her actions based on what was good for Snape, what a good friend would do. Not what a good person would do. And a good person wouldn't want to be friends with someone part of something so bad.

She explains this herself, that she was done making excuses by that point. And that's actually very, very fair. Snape was friends with people who were doing very wrong things. Things a good person like Lily couldn't ever support. So how can she be friends with someone who does support them? The fact that she remained friends with him for so long is a testament to her love for him- people didn't understand why she would even talk to him, which honestly tells us about her character. It tells us she was viewed as someone with good morals and stuck to her principles, which is why her even talking to someone like Snape, who was dabbling in what was considered amoral and evil, was so confusing to them.

Lily Evans was too good to stay friends with someone who supported others doing bad.

And I know. I know there's a very good reason Snape chose such a path. I know. I don't even fault him for choosing it. But we have something Lily doesn't: the whole picture. The bits of Snape Lily didn't get to see. Remember when they were children, Snape only said that his dad "didn't like anything much", and didn't elaborate? That's probably how much he told her. Just enough to answer the question, but never the whole truth. So of course we can understand why Snape took that path. But Lily can't. She doesn't have the entire truth, just what Snape let her see. And from what Snape let her see, he does seem like a terrible person, one she cannot support because she follows a moral code.

"But Lilith!" I hear you cry, "she married James Potter! How good can she truly be!" and I give you Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. The two of them explained to Harry that she only took an interest in him after he had "deflated" his head a bit. Was she attracted to him even before that? Perhaps, but that is no crime. She may have had feelings, but she only acted after James had reformed. Or reformed in front of her anyway. Once again, we are given the context she was not: James Potter still had not entirely matured, and instead went behind her back when bullying others, particularly Severus. And it's not like there wasn't any good in James. What he did for the Marauders shows us that he could be very very good for the people he loved, even if he was not a good person at heart. So not only did he provide a facade of maturity and goodness, and stand on the good side of the war and openly despise the evil, but he was charming and probably incredibly loving to Lily. Of course she loved him. Only we know that he wasn't the good person she thought he was. And that is no fault of her own.

Lily Evans truly was a good person. Her goodness dictated everything above all else, even if she had to go against the people she cared about to follow her moral code. Being a good person does not equate to being a good friend, because in order to be that good person sometimes you end up having to be a bad friend. And reversely, being a good friend doesn't equate to being a good person, as James shows us. He was an incredible friend to Sirius, and even to Remus (even though their relationship did have that undercurrent of toxicity where Remus feared going against him), and did love his wife, but aside from that? He wasn't a good person.

And because of that, Lily was too good for Severus. Because Severus was made into someone not black nor white but gray. And when the gray darkened, Lily stepped away.

After all, flowers don't bloom in the dark, do they?

#pro lily evans #pro snape #<-tagging that because i love severus and i fully understand why he is the way he is (and even support it/hj)#i just think lily deserves some love #she stuck to her principles and honestly good for her #i love severus and i understand what it looked like from her pov so i can't blame her at all #lily evans

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lupinduda · 8 months ago

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how i percieve jegulus along the hogwarts years

First year:

Sirius' youngest brother's entrance at Hogwarts was sort of the event the Marauders were waiting for since the past year. Sirius wouldn’t stop chattering about it, but he seemed kinda disappointed when Regulus wasn't put in Gryffindor like him, and neither seemed to be willing to meet his new friends.

As Remus and Peter accepted Regulus' refusal of their friendship well, James was a little amused by the youngest Black, with his curly hair and his red cheeks. "How can he be so similar and so different from Sirius?" James thought. And he noticed that the mere glance of Regulus would cause the same sensation in him as Lily’s smile did. Intrigued, he started to notice Regulus, at first just to be sure he was adapting well to the school; after all, he was Sirius' brother. But after a while, he could feel Regulus' presence without even searching for it.

Regulus, on the other hand, felt like his world crashed in front of his young eyes. It was always his dream, his and Sirius', to attend Hogwarts, and they both did it. But his big brother had made new friends who were noisy and annoying. It was a group Regulus knew from the very beginning he would never fit in with, so he pushed them away, despising how much it hurt Sirius' feelings.

Second year:

In their 3rd year at Hogwarts, the Marauders already had made a big reputation, and everyone was always talking about them in the halls. Regulus used to be annoyed about people talking about his brother every time they talked to him, so he approached the only Slytherins who didn't: The Rosiers, Barty and Dorcas.

That, of course, pissed Sirius off so bad that he wouldn't stop complaining for almost a month. And once he was done with it, he had a huge fight with Regulus in front of everyone. Reg was so angry when he shouted, “Well, if you weren’t busy with your new family to remember you already had a brother, I would probably stay with you," that he didn't realize what he did until it was too late.

James was heading straight to the common room with candy to cheer up Sirius when he heard a soft whimper coming from a crying Regulus curled up on the ground like a ball.

"You know, he just wants you to be safe,""He doesn't care about me; he has you now," "That's a lie, Regulus. Sirius might love me, but he lives for you. We shouldn’t make him choose one if he could have both. You don't need to stand by me, just don't hate me... please?"

Third year:

Reg starts to respect James, now knowing he isn't trying to steal his place in Sirius' heart.

Regulus struggled with DADA; James offered to help.

Reggie is convinced by the very stubborn Marauders to accept his help.

They fought a lot at the beginning, always arguing about anything until James found that if he teased the right nerve, Regulus would blush and forget his words.

James found a new pleasure in life called making Regulus Black laugh or blush.

They start to get along; Regulus is understanding DADA and got his first high grade with James' help.

But James is really confused by the way he is feeling about Lily and Regulus.

James works out that Lily will probably not give him a chance anytime soon, and Regulus' heart does a backflip when he hears it.

They start to hang out even outside of the study section, sitting by the Black Lake where no one can see them, just to chat about literally anything. And Regulus is impressed by how smart James Potter actually is behind the flirty smile.

On the last day of his 3rd year, Regulus kisses James by their spot at the Black Lake and then really bravely runs away.

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bitterspoons · 4 months ago

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"Happy Birthdays at Privet Drive"

CHAPTER ONE

Edith Dursley Series by Bitterspoons

slowburn fred weasley x Fem!oc

SERIES MASTERLIST✨

in which: a half-giant bursts into a quaint hut with a cake after the Dursley's ran away from the post and owls.

word count: 4.4k

next chapter coming soon

“Here, let me help.” Quickly flipping the pancakes and bacon while the dark harried boy rushed to deliver coffee to her dad.

It was a special day for the Dursley’s—it was Dudley’s birthday but more than that—it'd be the day our story begins (Dudley should feel honored.)

While Edith hated the way her parents acted on his birthday (and occasionally Dudley) she still cared for her brother—even if her cousin, Harry, was more of a brother to her than Dudley would ever be.

Still, it was a small chance to bond with her brother since the relationship between the two Dursley siblings was…strained to say the least.

In their defense, it was mostly their parent’s fault for how the two had become competitive.

It started out when Edith’s reading comprehension passed Dudley’s, despite him being a year older than Harry and Edith. She was showered in attention and praise.

That sparked into a new challenge for the two, trying to surpass each other in every way possible.

Two specific competitions drove the two apart.

Kindness, Compassion and Emotional Intelligence.

Dudley had never been one for empathy, having become a “bully” in their school. While the two siblings were both popular, Edith was the kind spirit—helping younger kids find their way to classes and solving playground disputes.

This was especially impactful to Harry Potter—their orphaned cousin who had been living with them since he was a year old.

Maybe it was because Edith was closer in age to him, being only 2 months older while Dudley had been 14 months older. Or because Harry looked more like Edith. Or because Harry came up with Edith’s nickname, Eddie.

One thing was clear. Edith and Harry had a strong bond while Dudley did not.

Edith had a keen eye for sadness. At first it was small things when they were children like giving Harry some of her toys or holding his hand when they tried to walk so he wouldn’t be left behind.

As they got older, her support increased. Giving Harry snacks, pillows, blankets, stuffed animals. Soon it was money she earned from her lemonade stand, notes for homework (albeit they weren’t great unless they were for English) but she tried. She cut his hair so that it stayed long and fluffy but didn’t get too tangled or past his eyes unlike her mother who tried unevenly buzzing it off, just for it to grow back in a matter of days.

And if Dudley couldn’t be the best, he would be the worst.

Edith would spend money to fix the glasses that Dudley broke. Or cleaning up food that Dudley spilled so that Harry wouldn’t have to.

Dudley hated English, despised it. Words weren’t meant for anything more than speaking. Journaling, plays and books were all futile.

Edith loved words, writings of all sorts. Poetry was her favorite, playing with words in a way that perfectly encompassed how you felt and conveyed meaning with small detail. It was a delicate craft.

But there was one other thing that caused quite the rift between them.

Petunia’s Love

Their mother was quite the character. Edith only heard bits and pieces about her sister, Harry’s mom but it seemed enough.

She cried over her, she yelled over her, she swooned over her and sometimes she’d lull herself to sleep, pretending to say goodnight to her.

And she’d call Edith by her name.

I’d like to say that Petunia’s jealousy towards Edith started after some argument between them. But that would be a lie. Instead, it started before Edith was even born.

Lily Potter—or rather Lily Evans was apparently the poster-perfect child. Her parents raved about the school she went to and it seemed like Petunia was left in the dust, just to be bitter.

So when Edith was born, Petunia was overjoyed to see that Edith had her own big blue eyes and dark hair like her father, Vernon.

But then Edith turned 9 months old, and what used to be brown hair had a shade of copper to it. And as Edith grew older, her hair solidified into a dark auburn—Petunia’s ginger genes shining through ever so slightly.

Unfortunately, Edith was blessed with the Evans look—having only inherited dark hair from her father instead of the blonde hair that Dudley and Petunia had. Otherwise, she was a spitfire between Petunia and Lily—as if her grandparents had another child.

This was a horrible thing, as while Edith was very pretty—Petunia could not escape her sister, even if she had died.

Dudley, who was constantly showered in affection and attention because looked like his father with Petunia’s hair and eyes—a man she loved and a woman she had grown to love too.

But Edith looked like Lily and Petunia. A woman Petunia hated, loved, envied and missed and the inferior sister.

Petunia’s attitude towards Edith differed drastically. Either Lily was the reason Petunia looked in the mirror and sighed, or she was a sister she never got to apologize to.

In rebuttal to her unresolved issues with her sister, she treated her daughter similarly.

Either Edith was brushed off, cursed, or simply ignored like Harry or she was love bombed with flowers, money, gifts and apologies.

The push and pull of it all was exhausting, especially since Dudley seemed to get all her affection without a weird grieving ultimatum or any effort on his part at all.

And when Vernon had sexist prejudice—his son was always the more important one in the family, being the eldest child in their care and a boy—it seemed as though Dudley had everyone while Edith had Harry.

But in dear time, that would be all she needed.

“I want everything to be perfect for my Dudley’s special day!!” Petunia cooed, leading him to the living room where piles of presents lie. “Aren’t they wonderful darling?”

“How many are there?” Dudley asked, looking over at the colorfully wrapped presents, his nasally voice projecting through the room.

“Thirty-six.” Vernon bragged. “Counted them myself.”

“Thirty-six?” Dudley clarified, outraged. “But last year—last year I had thirty-seven!”

Edith handed him a plate of bacon and pancakes. “If you don’t want them, I’ll take ‘em.” She sassed, turning back around to flip the eggs.

Their mother doted on the boy, smoothing this hair out. “Oh now, now, now, this is what we’re going to do. When we go to the zoo, you can buy two new presents!”

They finished breakfast quickly, wanting to get to the zoo before the traffic started.

Edith went down the stairs, carrying a small brightly colored box. “Dudley!” She called softly, handing him the gift with a tightlipped smile. “Gift number thirty-seven.” She labeled as he took it.

Taking the present with grubby hands he returned the awkward smile, the two siblings stiffly hugged before getting in the car. “Thanks…”

She mumbled a “Happy Birthday” before buckling her seatbelt, waiting for her dad to stop gripping Harry by the hair outside the car.

She leaned over from the middle seat, opening the door from the inside and cut Vernon’s warning to Harry short—saying something about Dudley’s impatience so he’d stop tugging Harry’s roots.

Her dad shoved Harry into the car, and Edith pulled in him before Vernon could shut the car door on him and the family went on their way to the zoo.

Their zoo day wasn’t half bad—even Harry agreed. Edith and Harry walked around together, admiring the animals and even got their own ice creams (even though Harry’s was Dudley’s rejected ice cream, it was still a win.)

But little did they know as they walked into the Reptile House—this was the beginning of the rest of their lives—and it’s quite the story with bits I wrote tediously, so do try and keep up.

Edith looked at the snakes with awe, they were very pretty creatures that deserved to be admired—although the ethics of this specific zoo were a bit questionable.

One snake in particular caught their attention.

It laid in its enclosure with a particular tiredness. Edith could practically feel the sadness radiating off of the poor thing, the will to be free only to be trapped in a glass cage.

Rapping his hand against the glass, Vernon commanded the snake. “Move!” As Dudley complained of the snake's lack of curiosity to see him.

Dudley learned from example, banging his fist with more vigor than Vernon. “Move!” He yelled louder, causing some people to look their way.

“Will you stop it? He’s sleeping!” Edith pulled his hand away from the glass.

“He’s boring.” Dudley mumbled distastefully, waddling off to a different enclosure.

Harry looked back at the snake and began hissing at it.

The snake perked its head up, slithering closer to Harry. Harry continued to hiss at the snake who nodded and shook its head in response.

“Good god, my family is weird.” Edith said aloud before getting trampled to the side by her idiotic brother.

Groaning as she ate a faceful of floor, Edith propped herself back up seeing that Harry was also shoved aside by Dudley.

And that’s when Harry sent a particularly spiteful glare at Dudley and the walls of the glass snake enclosure simply disappeared.

Dudley fell in with a splash as the snake quickly took the opportunity to slither away, nodding at Harry before booking it for the exit.

“From his behavior, you’d think he’s trapped in there.” Edith mumbled, annoyingly flicking her wrists to get dirt and pebbles off them. “Just get out you big oaf—” Her words fell flat when the glass reappeared before her eyes.

Her parents ran to the cage, banging their fists against the glass and screaming as their son stood stuck in the glass enclosure.

With that they were ushered home, Dudley in a wrap of blankets and jackets as he sobbed. Harry was shoved into his “room.”

Petunia rushed Edith into her room, closing the door. “Lily, you always mess things up!”

“I didn’t do anything!” Edith protested despite actively being called the wrong name.

Harry was similarly getting framed by Vernon, being locked in the cupboard. “I swear, one minute the glass was there and the next it was gone! It was like magic!”

But of course— “There’s no such thing as magic.” He barked gruffly, quickly waddling over to his darling boy to comfort him during these traumatic times.

And that’s when the letters started.

Edith watched the first owl arrive in Privet Drive, having been sat on the roof of her house.

She liked talking to the stars before she slept and after the day had taken an exciting yet exhausting turn—she hadn’t the energy to go back down to her bed.

But you can imagine her curiosity when she awoke and saw an owl staring straight at her. An envelope with a red wax seal was in its mouth. She gently took it before going back into her room, ready to tell Harry about the weird interaction she just had.

She walked downstairs to Dudley’s photoshoot for his new school, a foul smell laced the kitchen as Petunia boiled down Dudley’s old uniform as she explained how Harry had to wear those next school year.

“But they’ll fit me like elephant skin!” Harry protested, pouring Vernon coffee.

“They’ll fit you just fine.” Petunia sneered before commanding him to go get the mail for the day.

Edith followed him to the hall. “Don’t worry, Harry—You can wear some of my black clothes. They’ll fit you better than those, that's for sure.”

Giving a tight lipped smile, Harry picked up the letters for today. “Thanks, Eddie.”

Harry sorted through the mail, as Edith remembered the letter.

“Oh! I got the most peculiar letter today from an owl, it’s addressed to both of us.” Edith took the letter from her pocket, showing him the front of it.

“An owl?” Harry clarified, walking back into the kitchen and handing people their mail.

Dudley shoved some eggs in his mouth. “What owl?” He asked, mouth full of chewed food.

Edith looked at him with disgust. “Just a dream I had.” She brushed off, sitting down on the couch with Harry, handing him the letter.

To: Mr. H Potter and Ms. E Dursley—Cupboard Under the Stairs and Rooftop of 4. Privet Drive Little Whinging, SURREY.

Harry and Edith glanced at each other, curious as to if all posts had to be that specific with addressing. Harry began gently peeling the letter open when it was snatched out of his hands.

“Dad! Harry’s got a letter!” Dudley shrieked, handing it to their dad laughing.

“Shove off, it’s ours!” Edith argued, trying to reach over Dudley to take it back.

“Oh please, who’d be writing to you two.” Petunia scoffed, leaning over Vernon’s shoulder.

Harry and Edith seethed together when Petunia and Vernon’s faces went pale, staring at the stamp on the back of the envelope.

The next couple of days Edith and Harry spent together, either waiting on the roof together for the owls to fly by or in Harry’s cupboard, watching the letterbox like hawks.

Everytime, the letters ended up ripped or burned or destroyed and soon, Vernon nailed the letter box shut entirely.

“What happens when bills come in!” Edith protested, trying to pry the nails off with her fingers. “Didn’t you say Aunt Marge is ill? What if her death notification comes in the mail!”

But the letters were still kept from the two kids. Owls littered Privet Drive to the point where newspapers were reporting an unusual amount of owl sightings and little kids were making feather keychains to sell to their friends.

Vernon and Petunia even tried changing the two’s locations in the house—giving Harry Dudley’s old second bedroom and giving Edith the entire basement and still all the changed was the address on the letters.

Petunia spent her days clawing at her hair in frustration and blending up letters and Vernon spent his nights burning letters in the fireplace.

And it changed on sunday.

“Fine day, Sunday.” Vernon smiled, happy with himself as the family sat in the living room. Harry walked around with a tray of biscuits and Edith was making Harry and her hot chocolate. “Favorite day of the week. Why is that, Dudley?”

Dudley shrugged so Harry answered for him. “No post on sundays?”

“Right you are Harry! No post on sundays!” Vernon cackled to himself. “No post on sundays!” He repeated gleefully, picking up a cookie. “Not one, bloody letter! Not one!”

But as it seems, that was quite the ironic thing to say when a letter came flying out of the fireplace and knocked the biscuit right out of his hand.

The house rumbled and Edith was quite sure an earthquake was happening when letters began flying out of the fireplace like confetti.

The two cousins looked at the scene unfolding in awe before jumping into action.

The letterbox broke open, letters fell from the sky as Harry darted to catch them.

Edith darted for the floor, trying to grab some herself before her mom picked her up and forced her to stand, pinning her arms to her sides. “Don’t you dare, Lily.”

“You’re the one who named me woman! How can you never remember it!” Edith cried out with annoyance.

Harry tried to catch letters while he could only to get tackled by Vernon.

"We're going away!" Vernon announced, holding Harry down. "Far away! Where they can't find us!"

Harry squirmed from under Vernon, annoyed as he was limited from grabbing the letters due to his stance on the floor being practically maimed by his uncle.

"Dad has gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked, horrified at the scene.

Petunia just shook her head, pushing Edith to the wall so she couldn't grab any of the letters either.

Harry and Edith's protests were heard from the whole neighborhood as they were shoved into the car. The Dursley family threw some essentials into the car and drove off—leaving the letter filled house in the distance.

They traveled from hotel to hotel, making small stops at gas stations but no matter where they went—which hotel chain or motel chain—the front desk always informed them of an influx of letters to an Edith Dursely and a Harry Potter

So it was time for more drastic measures. The family of Durseleys and Potters rented a boat, rowing their way to a distant run down hut on a rock. .

The pouring rain made their journey treacherous and when they finally got inside, they all panted and wrapped themselves in blankets.

Petunia and Vernon took the bed, Dudley took the couch which left Harry and Edith to lay on the floor with a blanket and jackets.

Edith rummaged in her pockets, grabbing a small tissue and wrapping up some coins into a little package. She tied a little ribbon on the package and drew little stars on it with an old marker that was left behind by the past renters of the hut.

Harry drew out a little birthday cake on the dirtied floor, writing a small birthday note to himself and checking Dudleys watch for the time.

Pinching some sand, Edith sprinkled it onto the 'candles' of the cake and placed her gift in front of Harry before quietly singing Happy Birthday to him.

Harry opened his small gift, appreciating the effort she made to get a gift despite being on a hut on a rock in the middle of nowhere.

It was a small little hut. Wind rattled the filthy windows and you couldn’t escape the smell of seaweed. Edith wondered how much one had to pay to stay in an estate like this.

Dudley’s watch beeped and Harry blew out the dust candles they had made. Edith clapped a little but was quickly interrupted by a loud bang.

Edith ushered Harry into a corner as the bangs got louder, louder than the lighting crashing down near them.

The door shook vigorously, waking up Dudley and her parents as the hinges of the door rattled for their lives. And soon, the door fell down.

Petunia quickly switched a light on, her husband pointing a gun at the door when an extremely tall man stood in the doorway.

Shaggy bushy hair almost covered his whole face, and he had hands as big as trash can lids—which he promptly used to pick the door back up and try to prop it against the doorway. “Sorry about that!” He said casually.

“I demand you leave at once sir!” Vernon squawked, pointing his gun. “You are breaking and entering!”

The giant of a man walked up to him and grabbed his gun—twisting the metal up with his bare hands so it would shoot up at the ceiling. “Dry up, Dursley, you great prune.” He snorted.

And that’s when Edith let her shoulders relax, deciding she liked whoever this intruder was and figured they were probably less dangerous than her dad with a gun.

The man turned to Dudley with a surprised look. “Mind, I haven’t seen you since you was a baby, Harry but you’re a bit more along than I would have expected.” His voice was very friendly and joking. “Particularly ‘round the middle” He laughed.

Edith walked a bit closer to the man, Harry trailing after her.

Dudley stumbled over his words. “I-I’m not Harry!” He explained quickly, voice shaking.

Harry peeked his head from behind Edith. “I am.” He spoke up.

Turning around, the man’s smile got bigger. “Why of course you are! And you must be the ‘ittle Edith! You look strikingly similar to your aunt, Lily!” He admired the two children.

“So I’ve heard.” Edith replied, still quite confused by the situation.

He turned around, rummaging through his jacket. “Got something for you!” He said, taking out a box. “‘Afraid I might’ve sat on it on my way over but I imagine it’ll taste just the same.”

Harry took the box gingerly, opening it up to see a cake—messily coated in pink frosting with the words “HAPPEE BIRTHDAE HARRY” scrawled on top in green.

“Baked it myself, words and all.” Bragging, the man sat down on the moth-eaten sofa.

“Thank you,” Harry looked up at the man with genuine gratitude, the stranger having celebrated his birthday more than his aunt and uncle combined.

“Isn’t everyday that you turn 11 now is it?” He smiled, taking out an umbrella and pointing it at the old fireplace. A ball of fire shot out from the tip, landing in the kindle and bringing warmth into the rundown hut.

Harry and Edith looked at the now-lit fireplace in awe. “You are so awesome.” Edith said, mesmerized by the flame.

The man chuckled as Harry put down the cake, gingerly sitting down next to him. “Excuse me, but who are you?”

“Rubeus Hagrid!” He introduced himself, eyes like black beetles peeking from the bushy hair. “Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.”

Edith furrowed her eyebrows. “Hogwarts?” In her mind, she questioned whether it was circus a or a farm.

“Of course, you two already know all about Hogwarts.” Hagrid brushed himself off, ready to move onto the next topic.

Harry and Edith glanced at each other, a mutual confusion. “Sorry—no.” Harry blinked at the man.

“No?” Hagrid repeated, confused. “Blimey, Harry. Didn’t you ever wonder where your mum and dad learned it all?”

“All of what?” Harry said, a bit oblivious.

“Yer a Wizard, Harry.” He said, eyes glimmering with mischief.

Harry’s eyes widened with pure confusion. “I’m a what?”

“A wizard!” He repeated. “And a thumping good one, I’d wager—once you’ve trained up a little. And if Edith is as similar to Lily as she looks, I’d say you’re on the same path.”

Edith pointed at herself, bewildered. “I’m a wizard?”

“A witch.” Petunia interrupted, correcting her daughter. “You’re a witch.”

Twirling around, Edith looked at her mother, pointing at her and then back at Hagrid, mouth gaped open before turning back to Hagrid—processing. “Am I going crazy?” She asked herself.

Harry was going through a weird state of denial as well. “I mean, no—I can’t be a…a wizard—I’m Harry! Just Harry.”

Hagrid chuckled at the two once more. “Well, just Harry. Have you ever made anything happen?” He asked. “Anything you couldn’t explain when you were angry or scared?”

The two kids had their share of unexplainable things.

Harry’s magical growing hair or the snake exhibit, the time where Edith’s clothes all turned blue after her mother told her it was a boy-ish color and when Harry ended up on the roof after escaping Dudley’s taunts and bullies.

There was also a time where Edith woke up one day with a black eye, having wished that Vernon had punched her instead of Harry and Harry’s wound was gone.

Hagrid saw the realization in their eyes and pulled out an envelope. A letter Harry and Edith had been trying to get ahold of for weeks.

Edith leaned over Harry’s shoulder, reading aloud the contents. “Dear Mr. Potter and Ms. Dursley—we are pleased to inform you that….you have been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!”

Vernon quickly waddled over to the two kids. “They will not be going!” He announced in a hush voice, having found his audacity again after his initial shock. “We swore when we took him in, we’d put a stop to all this rubbish!”

“You knew?” Harry exclaimed, betrayed. “You knew this whole time and never told me?”

Petunia scoffed, crossing her arms. “Of course we know. How could you not be?” She said bitterly. My perfect sister being who she was…with that Potter.” She paced around. “My mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. I was the only one who ever saw her for who she was—a freak.”

Edith flinched. “And me? Did you know I was a witch?”

Petunia practically rolled her eyes. “We were hoping you weren’t. But when you started floating instead of crawling, we were pretty confident you had taken after her. And then she got herself blown up and then we ended up with you and Harry. The two abnormal children.”

“Blown up?!” Harry yelled. “You told me my parents died in a car crash!”

“A car crash?” Hagrid repeated incredulously. “A car crash killing James and Lily Potter?”

“We had to say something.” They excused themselves.

“It’s an outrage! A scandal!” Hagrid shouted at them, waving his umbrella.

“They will not be going.” Vernon stuck up his nose.

Hagrid mocked them. “Oh and I suppose a great muggle like yourself is going to stop them, are you?”

A quick beat of silence as the argument fizzled out for a moment. “A muggle?” Edith questioned.

“Non-magic folk.” Hagrid defined before quickly jumping back into the argument. “This boy has had his name down ever since he were born! He’s going to the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world and she’s going with him! They will be under the finest headmaster that Hogwarts has ever seen, Albus Dumbledore!”

The two children beamed up at Hagrid, having someone defend them for once in their lives other than each other.

Face turning red, Vernon raised his voice. “I will not pay to have some crackpot old fool teach him magic tricks!”

Hagrid stuck the flame-thrower-umbrella in Vernon’s face. “Never insult Albus Dumbledore in front of me.” He warned, tone harsh and dry.

The room went silent, the only noise heard was Dudley, snacking on Harry’s birthday cake in the corner.

Hagrid stuck his umbrella towards him, a beam of mist shooting out and at Dudley. A pig tail emerged from Dudleys behind, swirling around as Dudley shrieked and squawked.

Panicking, Vernon and Petunia started screaming as well—chasing after Dudley as he ran around the room in circles.

Harry laughed as Edith smiled, covering her mouth.

Leaning down a little, Hagrid lowered his voice into a whisper. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone at Hogwarts about that. I’m not supposed to be using magic.”

They nodded feverishly, as Hagrid thanked them—taking out a little pocket watch. “Ooh, we’re a bit behind schedule. Best be off!”

He headed towards the exit, looking back at the cousins who hadn’t moved yet. “Unless of course you’d want to stay?”

With that, Edith slipped on her shoes and walked out the door, Harry stumbling after.

END OF CHAPTER ONE

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cosmignon · 1 year ago

Note

Psychonautssss

PSYCHONAUTS ON MAIN LETS GOOOO (BC I USUALLY POST ON AQUATO-FAMILY-CIRCUS HAHA)

The first character I first fell in love with:

AUGUSTUS AQUATO YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!! I'd always liked Raz of course, but when I was rewatching the first game to prep for the sequel the last like 20 minutes of it rocked me. the difference between Raz's perception of his dad vs the real deal who's just a well meaning if overprotective father captured me so violently and immediately it felt like I was being jostled around. Plus Augustus has such a cool design and his voice work is so soft yet gruff and kind. He's a delight. Idk what my opinion on the first game would be without him bc it's one of the strongest highlights in the emotions department.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:

It's haaaard to say bc I just liked most of them off the bat but I do think I needed some time for Cassie O'Pia to grow on me. Her level was overstimmulating the first time I played it so I didn't rly appreciate how nice it looked or how cool her archetypes really were. Love her now tho, of course, bc I love all the old people psychics

The character everyone else loves that I don’t:

I Don't Care Much for the campers aside from Lili & Dogen. I think they're definitely fun, I've enjoyed a lot of fan work about the individual campers and do have favorites among the ones who Aren't Lili & Dogen (Clem & Crystal, Chloe) but they just don't really compel me much. Same goes for the interns but with them at least I can remember all their names and quirks off the top of my head (bc there's only 6 of them)

The character I love that everyone else hates:

I think Gristol is an interesting character, I think he's fun! I don't post abt him much bc I get the vibe ppl get annoyed about it? Which is fair, he sucks, I would hit him with a crowbar if he was real. but he's just kind of a pathetic guy once his plans fail. He's fun to talk about and theorize about what in the world could actually make him become a better person or at least have a change of mind like the other antagonists we've been inside the heads of.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer:

Error answer not found

The character I would totally smooch:

HOLLIS FORSYTHE CALL ME

The character I’d want to be like:

I wish I had the patience and chill attitude of Milla or the cool big showmanship of Helmut. The brightest and most colorful characters basically !!

The character I’d slap:

See: Gristol.

A pairing that I love:

Bob Zanotto and Helmut Fullbear are married and in love!! I love those guys so much it is absurd.

My first playthru experience of not expecting any gay content period was one of a kind.

the shift from "Oh Helmut's so obviously queercoded good for him. I hope He and his "Bobby" have some fun friendly guy pal thing going on"

to "Oh He and Bob were GAY gay"

to "ROBERT ZANOTTO YOUR GIANT WEDDING CAKE IS MAKING ME CRY" can not be replicated.

A pairing that I despise:

Not a big fan of Norma/Frazie! There's cute art of it for sure that I can appreciate but when I'm just alone w/my thoughts I feel like Frazie could do better and Norma needs to work on herself or else they'd have the most explosive teen drama break up ever and make it Everyone's Problem.

#sarasks #jaywings

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gingerwolfsart · 2 years ago

Text

Sooo, I wrote it some time ago

TW/CW: mentions of trauma bc of child abuse, Remus's trauma (yk, werewolf stuff), scars

words: ~1k

"When the world leaves a scar"

Both of them utterly despised each and every scar on their own bodies. Each one reflecting traumatic experiences that, even though they hated to admit it, made them who they were. Remus couldn’t even look in the mirror for the longest time. Every single time he tried, he would look away in disgust. He hated how horribly scarred his face was, his arms, his whole body. If only injuries caused by werewolves didn't scar as badly... It took years before he dared to try to glance at the mirror and even more time before he realised that those scars didn’t define him. Yes, they were a big part of his past – without them, he didn’t know who he would have been. No matter how hard he tried, he could never imagine his life without that little furry problem, without old wounds marking his face and soul. Yet it wasn’t the only thing he was, he was way more than a scarred werewolf hated by his family. He was his own person, his own story, life, decisions, love. He was Remus.

And then there was Sirius, who no matter how many scars littered his skin, would spend hours in front of the mirror. Lupin could never understand what took him so long. How could he spend so much time taking care of his hair or whatever? What shocked him even more though, was how casual about it Sirius was. Maybe as a kid, when he was still scared, terrified what people would think if they knew... maybe then he cared. But now he rolled up his sleeves, changed in the locker-room with the rest of the Quidditch team, he just didn’t mind if people saw. That’s what Remus thought – that's what Sirius wanted to think – but that wasn’t true at all. He still had that scared kid inside him, asking “what if mum finds out that someone knows?”. Not only that, the scars he got from her abuse made him feel ashamed, weak... and Remus understood that. He too felt ashamed of his own scars, of who he was. How could he not, when the society depicted him as a mindless beast? It was all for different reasons but they both knew the feeling and sharing it with someone helped a lot. Yeah, Sirius could talk about it with James, Remus could tell Lily, but it was different. Others didn’t understand like they did.

Some nights, when Remus’ nightmares awakened him in the middle of the night – and he got those a lot, dreams of sharp teeth and claws slicing his skin, painful and burning, until he jolted awake with a scream – he'd crawl into Sirius’ bed and shake him slightly, so that the other would stay up with him for a while. Black did the same on the nights he couldn’t sleep, when the memories of his home and the fear he felt were too much. Those nights were painful, sad, but hopeful in a way. Oh how much they hoped for all the terrible feelings to go away. How much they hoped and begged for the ability to sleep peacefully.

These nights their scars seemed to burn as if they were still fresh. It wasn’t the same pain of werewolf bites, or cigarette burns, or a belt. The pain was much duller, barely a sting in the same places that their scars layed. Yet they could feel it and that made all the memories much more vibrant. Sirius absolutely hated it and he wasn’t the type to keep quiet about things that irritated him. So he talked while Remus layed there in silence, dwelling on his past. Sometimes Padfoot even managed to make him laugh and he treasured those moments. He loved Moony’s smile, especially in those tough moments. If Remus smiled, he often did too. It wasn’t like he didn’t have his own emotions, oh no. But seeing his loved ones in a little bit better mood made him feel better. It made him feel just slightly more worthy of all the attention he always called for, of all the love.

Sirius would sometimes trace over Remus’ scars, his fingertips slowly trailing markings on his boyfriend’s skin. It seemed to soothe the stinging a little bit. It calmed both of them down. Remus could forget about the burning, his thoughts trailing off somewhere else. Whether it was a book he recently read, or a prank he pulled off with the rest of the Marauders or something else entirely, he could finally think of something other than the scars all over his body, who left them and what it did to him, how much it affected his life.

For Sirius these moments were calming, but they didn’t turn his thoughts in a different direction. He still thought of his own scars, at that moment likely hidden under his warm clothes. It allowed him to think of it in a much calmer manner though, without tears immidiately pricking at his eyes and screams getting caught in his throat. He still didn’t see the point of overthinking what his own parents did to him and his little brother, but it felt somewhat good to be able to think about it without involving emotions. Though he still kept asking himself that one question he knew he’d never know the answer to - “why”?

They would wake up in the morning, everything so much more peaceful then than during the night. Their fears and conflicted emotions far, far away until the next time they would catch up to them. Remus would look at Sirius with that tired but relaxed smile, push his long, dark hair out of his face and whisper nothing more than “hello”. That wouldn’t be such a bad start of a day.

#wolfstar #marauders #marauders era #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #remus x sirius #sirius black #fanfic #fanfiction #except it's just padfoot and moony #padfoodblackdog #marauders fanfiction #hurt/comfort #marauders era fanfiction #remus lupin #Rudyartific #wolfstar fandom #wolfstar fic #dead gay wizards #dead gay wizards from the 70s

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sadboi-writer · 2 years ago

Note

Can I request a James Potter x fem!reader

Enemies to lovers type thing

Like reader finds James to be quite annoying and frustrating but all the frustration and ‘hatred’ is actually just a really big crush on him and vice versa thank youuu :)

You're Insufferable

James Potter x Fem!Reader

Warnings: angst to fluff, swearing, kissing lol

James couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was slung over the couch in the common room, legs draped over Remus with her head in Lily's lap.

"You know, mate, you could just talk to her?" Sirius teased as he leaned over the back of the chair James was sitting in

"Bugger off," James sighed, "Why's she all cozy with you and Remus and Peter but she hates me?"

"James," Sirius deadpanned, "You spent the first three years of knowing her trying to one-up her."

He huffed, "But, I quit doing that! I stopped like a year ago! Why does she still not like me?"

James looked back toward her and saw her laughing at something Remus had said. His heart gave a flutter, she had such a pretty laugh. And it was true, what Sirius had said. James had spent first, second, and third year annoying the shit out of Y/N. She got an 'E' in Transfiguration? James worked his ass off to get an 'O' and rub it in her face. He didn't know why he did it. But, by fourth year, he'd decided to give up on it. Competing with Y/N wasn't worth it anymore. Not to mention he'd finally realized he never truly despised her, he'd just wanted to impress her. Fat load of good that did him.

Y/N gasped for air, "Shut up, Rem! Malfoy is the last person on Earth i'd ever even look at! Slimy bastard."

"Oh, yeah? And who's the first?" Lily teased, "Could it be our resident Quidditch ca-"

Y/N slapped a hand over Lily's mouth and harshly shushed her.

Sirius poked James, "Go on, mate, just talk to her!"

James stood from his seat and walked toward the couch.

"No, it wouldn't!" Y/N insisted, "James Potter is absolutely, utterly, undoubtedly insufferable!"

James breath caught in his throat, "Well, you're not too amiable yourself, L/N."

The three on the couch looked at James, Y/N sat up.

"James-" Y/N started

"No, no it's fine." James snapped, "Who cares if I was coming over to apologize to you? I'm just so fucking insufferable you wouldn't've listened to me anyway."

James stomped out of the common room. Leaving everyone speechless. Y/N looked to Lily, she saw the tears in Y/N's eyes.

"Oh sweetheart," Lily said, pulling Y/N into a hug

Remus rubbed his face, "I'll talk to him."

"No," Y/N replied, choking back tears, "I will. I feel awful."

Sirius approached the group, " You alright, Y/N/N?"

"I'll be fine, I just..." She trailed off for a moment, "Does he actually think I find him insufferable?"

"He's never heard you say otherwise," Sirius replied, "You only ever talk nice about him around us."

Sirius gestured to himself, Remus, and Lily.

Y/N nodded, "I'm sorry."

"It's not us you have to apologize to." Remus chimed

Y/N headed out of the common room, she trekked down the grounds to the one place she knew James would be. The quidditch pitch. And he was, he was laying in the middle of the pitch with his arm over his eyes. He was shaking, and Y/N couldn't tell if he was cold or crying. She approached him slowly, and sat criss cross a little ways away from him. Then was when she realized it was a mixture of both, crying and being cold.

"Hi," She greeted

"What do you want?" James asked harshly

"To say sorry," Y/N replied gently

"What for?"

James sat up, his face was tear stained. Y/N frowned at the sight.

"I never realized... I just," Y/N lost what she was trying to say

He glared at her again, "S'pose you're just here to rub salt in the wound, huh?"

"No! Jesus, James!" Y/N said, grabbing his hands, "I don't think you're insufferable!"

He was stunned, "What?"

"I don't think you're insufferable. I never realized I'd never said what I actually think while around you." Y/N continued, "Sirius, Remus, Lily, Peter, hell, most of Hogwarts knows that I think you are so unbelievably amazing."

James' mouth fell open, but Y/N kept going.

"They all know that I think you're smart, and funny, and that I've had the most massive crush on you for years!" Y/N ranted, "At first I thought I hated you because you were always trying to one-up me, but then I realized it was really impressive. Plus your pranks are always hilarious, and you've never intentionally lost points for Gryffindor. And you always stand up to Snivellous when he's mean to me and Lily and-"

James crashed his lips to Y/N's. She gasped but accepted it, placing her hands on his chest. Once they'd pulled away, their foreheads rested together.

"You talk too much," James commented breathlessly

"I take it back, you are insufferable." Y/N teased

#maurauders era #james potter #james potter x reader #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #sirius black #lily evans

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belonareyna · 3 years ago

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WHY SEVERUS SNAPE'S PROBLEM IS NOT ONLY HIS INTEREST IN THE DARK ARTS, NOR THAT HE JOINED FORCES WITH VOLDEMORT.

I love those comments that are "those are fake facts" "most of us go for cannon..." Everything here is cannon. Except my opinion, and James evolution, which I guess he had.

And before I posted this, I knew I would get lots of hate. I don't care, I'm not here to please anyone. If you want to read my opinion, go on, If you think different than me and you want me to know your own opinion go on. I'm just asking for respect. Because there has been some comments (now are not, I don't know if Tumblr has erase them or the people who wrote them) which are the opposite of respect. If you don't want to waste your time with me, I suggest you don't let me know that in the comments... because that's wasting your time. Again, do as you please.

If you are still here, enjoy! 😍

1. He despised Muggles and Muggle-born wizards, only controlled himself because of Lily. When he got angry with her, he could have used any insult, but he hurt her by insulting her background and demeaning her for what she was. Let's take a "muggle" example: imagine you're gay, and your friend, one day, is frustrated, and takes it out on you by shouting "you fucking faggot". Is he really your friend? After all, he uses your sexuality to humiliate you, he uses something you are as a weapon against you. There are thousands of insults that don't have to get personal. I understand that the best thing is not to fight or disrespect each other in any way, but it is true that sometimes it happens, especially when you are in your teenage years, that you get angry with nothing. But of course there are unmentionable insults

2. He wanted Lily obsessively. At this point I'll talk about James as well, but let's focus on Severus first: When he joined Voldemort, he did it by choice, knowing that Lily was a Muggleborn. He joined a group that hated those like her. That's why I wrote that he wanted Lily. He did NOT love her. Otherwise, he would have taken into account her feelings towards what he was doing. Let's go back to a muggle example: boy falls in love with a Jewish girl, then immediately joins the Nazis. I don't know kid, check yourself.

In the case of James, there is the bullying he and Sirius, Remus and Peter subjected Severus to. There is no excuse in that, not that they were kids or crap. But Lily was not a damsel in distress in need of a man. James' behavioral changes aren't shown in the books, but if James hadn't changed, I highly doubt Lily would have agreed to stay in a relationship with him, it's made very clear in Severus' memory. And if she had finally agreed to go on a date, I doubt it would have happened if James had continued with his attitude. So even though he was a MAJOR brand of jerk (insufferable and stupid, even Sirius admits they were, and Sirius still hated Severus), let's not forget Lupin's words "Well, Snape was a special case. I mean he never lost an opportunity to curse James, so you couldn't really expect James to take that lying down" (pg 671. Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix).

Both were attacking each other, and although we see Severus' public humiliation, we don't get to see what Severus gets to do to James. (Brief reminder of the Sectumsembra curse invented by Severus).

3. He didn't care if people died, as long as Lily survived.

Let's imagine for a moment, that Voldemort succeeds, kills James and Harry and fulfills his promise to Severus, that Lily will not be harmed.

How is Lily supposed to live? As a slave to Severus? Remembering her dead son and husbands? Dorcas, Marlene and other friends who did not survive the war? Destined to live in a world where she and those like her are considered inferior and even "magic thieves" ... Severus would never have gone over to the other side but for Lily's death. He is not loyal to the Order. He is loyal to his obsession

4. He is not a good teacher. Perhaps this is not as terrible as the previous ones, and yet it seems to me that it is a very important fact to determine his character. He hates Harry from day one just because he looks like his father. He hates an 11 year old boy he doesn't know. He hates Neville because he is not good at Potions, he despises those students who are not Slytherin, he is not a fair teacher. He has terrified Neville so much that his boggart is him. A teacher can scare you more or less, there are some that you fear (it has happened to all of us), but from there to the fact that the biggest fear (the boggart) of a student is you... A lot of damage you have had to do.

He stopped giving Harry Occlumency lessons just because he saw what had been done to him and felt humiliated. You're an adult, I'm not saying you're not affected by things, but that the Dark Lord can get inside the head of the only person who can defeat him is a bit more important than your own embarrassment.

And I'm sorry, I hate Harry's attitude in this book, I won't deny it. But he's 15 and entitled to be angry at the world. Snape is an adult who abuses his power in impressive ways throughout the books.

Well, in short, I have shared my frustrations with you. I don't ask you to share my opinion, only that you respect it and of course if I have made a mistake in something (in data, because it is my opinion, it is mine and it is neither correct nor incorrect, only mine) please let me know.

#anti severus snape #harry potter #neville longbottom #hermione granger #ron weasley #james potter #sirius black #minerva mcgonagall #albus dumbledore #hogwarts

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sepublic · 3 years ago

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The Golden Guard: Eda’s Dark Parallel?

Does anyone else think that the Golden Guard actually reminds Lilith a LOT of Eda, specifically Eda as a kid, during the good old days before she got cursed?

Think about it… They’re both sassy, hot-headed teen prodigies with an owl motif and yellow attire. And the way Lilith angrily talks about the Golden Guard, it seems her feelings of resentment mirror how she felt towards Eda back when they were kids? Lilith, who was by-the-book and traditional, worked so hard… And then there’s this younger person with an Owl motif who just swoops in out of nowhere and through talent, completely outclasses her!

If you go with the idea that Lilith wanted Gwendolyn’s approval and had to compete with Eda over that… Then for all we know, maybe Lilith lowkey wanted Belos’ approval as well, but felt like she was being cheated out of that with the Golden Guard, who kept stealing the spotlight from her!

Like she was afraid he’d take her spot as head of the Emperor’s Coven, the way Lilith feared that Eda would win the initiation duel back when they were kids… And lo and behold, the Golden Guard DID take that! Granted Lilith left an obvious vacancy from her own betrayal of Belos so of course he took that spot, but still; It’s quite a sore spot.

In some ways, perhaps Lilith is aware of this, deep-down or not; She might see the Golden Guard as just Young Eda, but without any of the emotional connection, nor any redeeming qualities; If he does have them, again, it’s not like Lilith knows the Golden Guard well enough to know these traits, much less take them into account.

LOTS of text and speculation and analyses below!!!

The Golden Guard is even sixteen years old… Which, is very likely EDA’s age, back when her and Lilith competed for the Emperor’s Coven! That can take on a whole new, dark meaning for her…

Perhaps Lilith is low-key disturbed by the Golden Guard’s existence, because he reminds her too much of Young Eda? Eda, before she was cursed- So it’s like the memory of her is coming back to haunt Lilith, in the form of someone who has no concern for Lilith whatsoever to hold him back, unlike the actual Eda.

And in a way, it’s a horrible reminder that some things never change, that some things stay the same and Lilith can’t get past them, she can’t outgrow it like she thought she did; Because even now, even as head of the Emperor’s Coven, there’s still a 16-year-old prodigy with an owl motif and yellow attire, who is sassy and playful and mischievous, who threatens to upstage Lilith’s self-esteem and sense of power. Somebody Lilith is afraid of; Thirty years later, and she STILL has to deal with this kind of person in her life, but it’s worse because she’s actually older and should be better, yet somehow isn’t…

Who knows? Maybe Lilith even recognized the similarities to Eda, enough to actually be sympathetic to the Golden Guard at first? Perhaps she, on some level, saw the Golden Guard as a way to vicariously redo her past with Eda, but without the mistakes… Maybe she tried to be nice to the Golden Guard, but then he quickly turned out to be a snob, he’s not REALLY Eda; So Lilith settled on never cursing him like she did Eda, but then otherwise decided that she didn’t owe him any love and could just quietly loathe his guts.

Lilith failed Eda in part because she was an older sister who abandoned her in a time of need, but there’s not really that expectation with the Golden Guard, so why bother? She’s got enough on her plate as is, and an ACTUAL Eda to worry about, to look after, to be concerned for and patch things up with.

I’ve even seen people make the very good point that in a lot of ways… The Golden Guard is like a Dark Eda? In the sense that, he’s Eda, had she joined the Emperor’s Coven as a kid. He’s a look at Young Eda, if she didn’t reject the Coven System, and joined Belos- Reveling in her own talent and power as granting her ‘special treatment’ over the rest, so any downsides to the coven system weren’t HER problem anyway!

Again, this adds another layer to the Golden Guard being very reminiscent of Young Eda, and even current Eda as well… Except, he never lost his magic and was never cursed. Maybe that’s another thing he unknowingly haunts Lilith over; He’s lowkey a reminder of what Eda could’ve been, had Lilith not been selfish and a coward, or had she communicated better. Yet at the same time, he’s frustrating- Because the Golden Guard is like the worst parts of Eda, the parts that Lilith hated and made her resentful…

And this constant reminder of the past, of her own issues with Eda back then that culminated in the curse- It could’ve made it a LOT harder for Lilith to really resolve things with Eda, because this kid keeps reminding her why she was so angry, and it’s impossible for her to move on because the Golden Guard isn’t some distant memory, but an actual person who continues to threaten her, the way Eda had…

And of course, the Golden Guard reminds Lilith of the Eda she lost; The happy, carefree Eda who wasn’t cursed, the Eda she could’ve had in a sense. The Eda that Lilith in some ways wanted, yet is forced to confront and acknowledge is a very obnoxious and terrible person that makes her unhappy…

And this kind of rude reminder that the Eda that Lilith wanted would’ve continued to make her miserable, if not moreso, is not something she appreciates shattering her dreams and low-key denial, of a world where things had just been a little different.

The person you’re trying to get, maybe get BACK, wasn’t so great after all- So you just have to move on, and be glad for the Eda who IS happier with her life and more mature, despite being older and more cursed. You gotta move past your guilt Lilith, and realize that Eda is in a better place- Not that she ever needed the curse, but she doesn’t quite need saving from the parts of her life she actually chose for herself, in part to be kind to Lilith no less! Because I bet Lilith believes that deep down, she didn’t deserve Eda’s kindness, so she wishes to reverse that compassionate decision of Eda’s that only resulted in Eda suffering because of how terrible Lily secretly is.

But, back to the subject; There’s more similarities to Eda and the Golden Guard, especially at the end of Separate Tides; How he makes an ominous warning before casually, happily yelling “BYYEEEE!!!”, just like Eda when she warns Luz about trying to have a Moonlight Conjuring in Hooty’s Moving Hassle, before heading off to the Night Market. His widow’s peak even bears a decent resemblance to Eda’s, doesn’t it? Which…

Combined with all of the talk about bird motifs being a Clawthorne thing, it DOES raise many questions about the Golden Guard’s potential connection to Eda. Is he some long-lost son? A third child that Gwendolyn had later in life, because witch biology might allow them to do that? Some homunculus, crafted from bits of DNA from Eda, and maybe even Belos? Belos does seem weirdly fond and trusting of him, the two are placed together in the Season 2 outro when nobody else, not even Kikimora, is there; And of course, the Golden Guard wields a staff, red magic, and fleshy creations, VERY similar to Belos…

I can’t say for sure- But the idea of the Golden Guard as an alternate Eda is fascinating. An Eda who became completely arrogant, and didn’t stop to care about others; Her cockiness and mischief becoming cruel and obnoxious, essentially the worst parts of Eda, down the path she’d always dreaded. A look into another life, a different choice in such a pivotal part of her past… Personally, I LOVE this kind of dark parallel of a character, so I’m hoping these similarities are commented upon in-universe, assuming they’re not outright literal!

In a way, the Golden Guard could haunt Eda, because he reminds her of herself… Of her carefree youth, but what she could’ve had… But also, the terrible things she’d done. And obviously Eda despises the coven system too much to really change her mind, and it’s safe to say that the Golden Guard is not at all what she wanted to ever become… But still, it’s a neat bit of character writing and parallelism. If Belos is like a Dark Luz, what Luz could’ve been had she not grown… And the same could apply between King and Kikimora;

Then who knows? The Golden Guard could be a Dark Eda, who got by talent and continued to take things for granted. An Eda who swore loyalty to Belos and was embraced by the emperor for her skill and ability. Jovial and cheery, but without any of the actual compassion that makes this genuine with Eda. An immature brat who never grew up (granted he’s only sixteen and hasn’t gotten the chance), unlike Eda. And if the Golden Guard is an alternate Eda;

It’s fascinating how his roles are reversed with his alternate Luz… The Eda parallel is younger than the Luz parallel, learning from them, and taking after their motifs as well! But I guess it’s not all too surprising, with how Eda and Luz both learn from one another, though I suspect Belos and the Golden Guard aren’t as mutual, but who knows?

It does make you wonder about Kikimora and King as potential mediators between these duos, whose placement remains consistent… How does Kikimora, the King parallel, interact with her Luz and Eda? Did she become close friends with HER Luz, while, as Dana’s art suggests, she seems somewhat irritated by and resentful of her own Eda? So it’s like Eda and King never grew to be friends and conquer differences… As well as if King never grew to respect Luz and saw her as just a “f*cking nerd”?

With how Luz is taking after Eda, and possibly getting a Cardinal palisman to complete the Clawthorne motif as a new member of the family… Who knows? The Golden Guard could be an intriguing character for her to bounce off of narratively, maybe as someone Luz might have, in another universe, learned to look up to and admire? How well Luz’s relationship be with the Golden Guard, if they are a Dark Eda? And how can this indirectly show us about how Luz and Young Eda would’ve interacted, what Young Eda was like, what Lilith went through as a kid…

And, for all we know- The Golden Guard’s owl motif doesn’t hint at a pre-existing connection to the Clawthornes, but rather a future one… Maybe he’ll end up being adopted by Eda, the way Luz was? I’d love to see the Golden Guard become an evil older sibling who’s protective of Luz…

I ADORE that trope to death; Evil older brother with bright, younger sister, whom he cares about, and the sister cares for him too, even if it’s complicated because the sister believes in the brother to be better, while the brother doesn’t want to be better, or is at least reluctant about having to change…

I’d love to see another Hugo and Kipo dynamic, and actually… If the Golden Guard parallels Eda, then who’s his Lilith? Could it be Luz herself? I’ve talked before the similarities between Luz and Lilith, as kids who were bullied and struggled with a lack of talent, but made up for it with hard work and ingenuity; They’ll give you a lot of trouble for doing the right thing, but then happily leap at the opportunity if they think someone is improving.

And, as Separate Tides has also shown us; They both grapple with guilt over making Eda suffer, unintentionally to varying degrees. Luz and Lilith both learn that they’re not a burden and that it’s okay to ask for help, and come to terms with their guilt with Eda… If Belos and the Golden Guard are Luz and Eda reversed, then could Luz and the Golden Guard also be Lilith and Luz, reversed?

With the Eda parallel being the older sibling in this scenario… An alternate timeline where Eda and Lilith were the same people, but switched places in birth, and it was EDA who ended up being the cruel and toxic sibling who left the younger feeling demeaned and worthless. I imagine if that were the case, the Golden Guard’s toxicity would occur largely in the beginning, as he acts adversarial to Luz and mocks her, taunts her over Eda’s loss of magic, and her own glyphs no doubt; The Golden Guard doesn’t seem to acknowledge glyphs as a valid form of magic himself.

But then, if he were to get a redemption, the Golden Guard’s tune might change as he matures and learns to treat Luz more kindly… In a way mimicking how Eda really grew to care for Luz, but also the way Eda has begun to reconnect with Lilith, except with the Golden Guard as the one with the baggage and guilt.

And, a redemption might not be too implausible, because… He is literally only sixteen, the same age as Emira and Edric, and likely the same age as Eda when SHE was cursed. Younger than Lilith, when she made the worst mistake of her life, because she didn’t understand the coven system for what it truly was –and who could blame her?- and was grappling with a likely terrible mother in Gwendolyn… The Golden Guard is literally a minor, and possibly an overworked teen prodigy.

After all, the first glimpse of his personality Dana gave us, way back in 2020, was of the Golden Guard admitting that he was tired; And despite his usually cheery personality, all of our glimpses at his face behind the mask (symbolism!) have had him look likely serious and glum… But then again, we don’t see the lower half of his face, so who knows?

Perhaps the Golden Guard is abused and overworked by Belos, kind of like Amity with her parents… The Golden Guard is a child dealing with a very toxic influence, and a huge burden of responsibility no less. And with all the potential connections to Belos as maybe even a literal father, or at least a parental figure, it’s not hard to see why the Golden Guard would turn out so messed up. And the Golden Guard being ‘tired’ could be a connection to how Eda is left exhausted from her curse, too.

So, who knows? Because of his age, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect, or at least hope, for a redemption for this kiddo. But a recent sister show to The Owl House has taught me anything, kids aren’t free from death, and Infinity Train made it clear that you can humanize and sympathize and mourn someone who deserved better, yet ultimately dug their grave and was condemned to a sudden death because of that; All because they didn’t know any better, and really couldn’t have.

And on another note- Maybe the Golden Guard has owl motifs like Eda… Because in a lot of ways, he actually admires her? He admires the Owl Lady, or at least the certain ‘past’ version that others such as Lilith may have brought up… Maybe the Golden Guard seeks to supplant Eda the Owl Lady as The Most Powerful Witch in the Boiling Isles. Maybe he sees himself as Eda, but better, and this rebellious, hot-headed kid feels the need to prove himself by defeating someone he sees himself in.

Maybe the Golden Guard is like Lilith, as someone who wishes Eda could’ve joined the coven system, and he’s disappointed in how all her talent was ‘wasted’ on other things. Maybe the Golden Guard was disappointed in Eda losing her magic, losing further respect for his ‘problematic idol’, and/or he felt some validation and vindication in being a successor to Eda.

Does he hold some grudge? Did the Owl Lady’s power excite him, give the Golden Guard a goal to recklessly challenge and defeat, so he can experience the thrill of victory and add to this feeling of invincibility that teenagers, especially the talented ones, have?

Eda as a kid, and even now, has always been fond of spiting what others say she can’t do, or setting new precedents and accomplishments to prove herself. Maybe the Golden Guard is like that, and hopes to take on the onus of outdoing the Owl Lady; Perhaps he admires Eda, and wishes she could’ve joined a coven like him. As an outside admirer, he mourns Eda’s ‘potential’ in a way similar to Lilith, but different; Because he’s a kid who looks up to her, and not an older sibling that has an actual childhood with Eda. If so, then that’s another dark parallel to Luz;

After all, Luz got frustrated by Eda in Adventures in the Elements. So maybe the Golden Guard is someone who grew resentful of Eda for not living up to the legend he hoped, the image he wanted, sort of like Lilith! I’ll go out on a limb and even suggest him as a past apprentice, who unlike Luz, never learned to be patient and appreciate Eda’s teachings, so he turned to the coven system and Belos for easy gratification. He didn’t want to be challenged… And in that way, the Golden Guard could parallel my speculation on Belos, as also a Dark Luz.

So of course, it makes sense that Belos would recognize this same dilemma in the Golden Guard, and perhaps be sympathetic and take him under his wing for it. Eda might not recognize the Golden Guard because he’s changed a bit himself, is hiding his own identity –Lilith doesn’t seem to know much about the witch beneath the mask either, just the public image and façade- and Eda’s been having memory issues. Maybe this will add to the Golden Guard’s resentment, who knows? He really might just be a rebellious teen who Eda failed, unlike with Luz… And that could add to more envy, perhaps.

At the very least; Dana’s fondness for the Golden Guard takes on a whole new meaning… What with how Eda is pretty much one of, if not THE most favorite character of hers, the one who really jumpstarted this entire show and world to begin with… Having this other character she likes essentially be a canon AU version of that beloved creation, would certainly make a lot of sense! Dana likes Eda, she likes to show us about Young Eda; So a character who IS Young Eda, just on a different path, would likely appeal to her. We’ll see…

I think it’s worth noting that in her art of the Golden Guard, it depicts him as essentially a normal, lazy teenager who’s asking someone else to do his chore for him, while he lounges around to do something else. I could see a young Eda as occasionally fulfilling that role and asking her older sister Lily for a favor- And maybe this could allude to the Golden Guard being frequently exhausted from being overworked himself, hence “I’m tired” and wanting to extend his breaks as much as possible. We’ll just have to wait and see…

#the owl house #the owl house golden guard #the golden guard #the owl house the golden guard #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #the owl house belos #emperor belos #speculation #theory #analysis #essay #the owl house hunter

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ryoryeonggu · 3 years ago

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This post probably makes no sense and no one cares about it, but I'll do it anyway.

For a while, I've been OBSESSED with both MDZS/The Untamed and The Marauders. So naturally, I'd love to imagine what if MDSZ characters were adapted in The Marauders universe (but not all the characters would stay the same who they were in the book/series because I believe people would change if their lives were different).

Wei Wuxian as James Potter. It's obvious. They are both like the sun and the whole universe centers around them. They are both so brave, caring, loyal to their friends/family and have a strong belief in justice, what's right and wrong. Freaking golden retrievers. King of simping and obviousness. Dumbasses. Absolutely chaotic and mischief. Protective. Died young. The way WWX bullied JZX reminded me so much of James bullied the hell out of Snape because "I'm sooooo done with your nose-high attitude" and "you don't deserve the girl I care about" (Jiang Yanli / Lily).

Jin Guangyao as Sirius Black. This is odd, because their personality seems completely opposite, but hear me out. The entire tragedy of their lives was about their abusive messed up family, the toxic upbringing and discovering who they wanted to be. While Sirius despised his family with every inch in his body and rebelled against them, JGY desperately craved for his family's approval and recognition that caused him to make mistakes after mistakes and turned him into a horrible person. But despite how hard they try to prove, the world would always judge and easily having prejudice against them for where they came from - Sirius for being a Black and JGY for being a prostitute's son. But what's missing here, JGY never had a "James", never had a soulmate who truly saw him, believed in him and caught him when he fell. So what if he did? I can totally picture him fitting the rebellious vibes of Wei Wuxian, along with being a petty dramatic bitch and still thoughtful and gentle (while totally being capable of murdering people who annoy him). And most importantly, SHORT lol. Big QUEER/GAY energy. His charm and his beauty are his two biggest qualities. Having so much potential and could do impossible things if the world let them shine.

Xue Yang as Remus Lupin. Another interesting contrary but completely fitting in. As people have different ideas about the person Remus was when he was young, but in my head Remus would totally be the person XY grows into if he'd had a little support system and wasn't thrown into the street when he was a child. Meanwhile, the pure animal-instinct cruelty of Xue Yang reminded me of Remus's wolf side, how Remus would've ended up if he’d unleashed his "madness within". Casting it aside, despite his murderous tendency, you couldn't deny that XY is the most interesting character in MDZS, as well as Remus is. Remus is adored by most people in the fandom, while XY, as much as a lot of people hated him and wanted him dead, they could help but feeling intrigued by him. They just had that charm. Moreover, they also had a lot similarities: sarcastic, smartass genius, wearing their own insecurities and flaws as an armor, highly intolerance of pain and having a lot of scars, stubborn af, craving for sweets and could only open himself and be devoted to specific people he cared about/cared about/being nice to him.

(And JGY is the only person in the world who XY never hurt even after JGY tried to kill him and left him for dead, they are the only person who could see and truly accept one another - I ship both Wolfstar and XueYao btw)

Nie Huaisang as Peter Pettigrew. It's obvious as well, they both screamed the "I looked like a fool but actually could stab you in the back and ended your whole career" energy. Coward energy. Underestimated and left out. Basically the whole dynamic between JGY-NHS and Sirius-Peter was mostly a pattern: Best friends once, then going down to betray and kill each other's family (James and NMJ). Besides, James-Peter and WWX-NHS were once the partners-in-crime duos before the war came and ruined them.

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maldiaaym · 3 years ago

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Why do I think Lily Evans (Potter) was not a good friend?

Until recently, the general opinion of the fandom was that Lily Potter was a good girl, deified and the representation of purity and goodness. But, doing a more exhaustive study of the character, we can get to see how Lily evans maybe was not so holy and made mistakes due to her education and, possibly, depending on the stage of her life where she found herself when she made those mistakes.

In relation to Severus Snape, I think she was not a good friend. Regardless of his age, which we all understand that we do not see friendship in childhood, adolescence or adulthood, she also had defects that compared to other characters in the saga, they were not a role model.

Starting from the little we know about her through the worst memory and Snape's memories, we are going to take some situations into account to assess her defects:

She blamed Snape for the letter Petunia sent to Dumbledore.

She got mad at Snape for dropping a branch on Petunia, even though he did so unconsciously and Petunia was rude to him.

The discussion with Snape about what happened with Remus (werewolf accident), his distrust of who was her friend and believing others before, not caring about Snape.

The lake scene, where she never addressed Snape once, as if he didn't know him and was just another boy to help.

The same lake scene, where she taunted Snape after he called her "Mudblood".

Now, let's talk about the problems at different levels (social, emotional, mental, physical and cultural):

Social: Snape comes from a lower social class than Lily and, although at first the girl Lily did not see the difference, I suppose that as time passed she realized that it did not look good for Snape to wear second hand clothes (surely ), he had serious problems in the family sphere, Snape's own unsociable nature that did not allow him to have a larger group of friends. In childhood we do not usually take into account the social variable when making friends with other children (pre-Hogwarts), but as she became related to the peer group at Hogwarts, she surely could not help feeling somewhat ashamed of the friendship with Snape . Let me explain, in Snape's adulthood it seems that no one knew about Lily and Snape's friendship, so it would be a secret friendship (and we all know that shame towards the other is what leads to secret friendships and relationships).

Emotional: Lily quickly connected with Snape because there was something she needed from him, and it was the knowledge and the desire to be accepted in a place like Hogwarts. Hogwarts was a new world that she did not know and Snape could offer her the security of knowing that world ... But, when she knew what she had to know, Snape had nothing more to offer her, but a clandestine and unrewarding friendship for her. It is not a mistake to think this, but it does show that she deliberately used Snape and that their friendship deteriorated over time. I think she might have felt friendship for Snape in a pure way, but when she began to be friends with the marauders, her emotional level turned towards these guys and she began to move away from Snape. I think the dark arts were an excuse to end the friendship, wanting to get away from him in an interested way ... it's easy to think that, when you really feel empathy for someone, you try to make the effort to understand that person, to know why him he likes the dark arts. However, she Lily was not able to understand him, understand his fears, his insecurities and the need to flee from the hell where he was stuck.Referring to the lake scene, I think Lily had a complete dissociation from Snape by now, she didn't defend being his friend, she didn't speak to him directly even once, and when he made a mistake due to the situation, she scoffed of him and "flirted" with James.

Mental: I think Lily never understood the true meaning of friendship, not at least as she later taught us Harry by understanding Ron and Hermione and accepting his flaws, even when this child was only 11 years old. I think that Lily, as soon as she could, got rid of Snape because she no longer wanted to have an uncomfortable friend, a friend who surely helped her for years in her studies at Hogwarts (I mean surely potions). Snape was like a teacher for Lily in her access to the magical world, he helped her in the study and knowledge of the magical world and I think that Lily stopped seeing usefulness when she already found in Gryffindor and the marauders the way to go her way . I mean, I think she coldly weighed whether or not she was interested in staying friends with Snape and she conveniently cut off the friendship when she got the chance. Lily showed herself to be a cold person who did not understand what Snape was in her whole and who did not appreciate all that he had done for her.I know that calling her "Mudbloods" was not right, but instead of trying to understand the shame and harassment that Snape felt at that time, she broke off the friendship and remained friends with the stalker, the one who emotionally blackmailed her and who continued to be a bully. No one can convince me otherwise.

Physical: here we will talk about the implications of a person who is not really physically attractive. There are studies that determine that people who do not fit the standards of beauty tend to have fewer opportunities in social relationships, love relationships or even find a job. With all this I mean that, when we are children, we do not care about anyone's physical appearance, but when we reach adolescence, our group of equals teach us the canons of beauty, which is considered handsome or what not. In this case, I think Lily was superficial. That is to say, Snape was not physically attractive, surely he did not look comfortable being with him because she was a popular, pretty girl, and he was attracted to a boy who was much more attractive than Snape (even though James was, in my opinion, uglier emotionally and disrespectful to others, adding being a bully). Lily preferred to go for the handsome boy rather than choose a loyal friend who was unattractive.

Cultural: At this level many factors enter, but here I will choose to talk about the differences of ideologies and different culture between Slytherin and Gryffindor. As we know, both houses were enemies, they were the contrast between good and evil in the Harry Potter saga. Slytherin represented everything bad and Gryffindor everything good. Here we also talk about the peer group (that is, a group of people that we consider our equals and from whom we learn cultural, social, emotional and behavioral factors), where Lily in the end ended up choosing to choose Gryffindor and be immersed in ideas prefabs that already existed about Slytherin even though, surely, many ideas were not true. Some of these ideas were hatred towards the "dirty bloods", defending the purity of blood, ambition as a negative element and cunning as if it were something bad that always leads to cheating.Where I see these preconceptions most clearly is in the scene where Lily argues with Snape for defending Mulciber, etc ... in this scene it seems that Lily puts the marauders before (she is supposed to talk about them) because they are from her house and believes that what Mulciber does is worse because he is in Slytherin. Being in Gryffindor, she is believed to have the moral superiority and the right to claim Snape to choose a position, when obviously Snape, like Lily, will choose their peer group. The point here is that Lily prefers to believe the marauders and put Snape in the guilty position, without even asking if his friend is okay or asking him what he saw ... Lily is not interested in knowing what happened because surely he was content with James's version and would always doubt any version Snape could give it.

Up to here, I did my study. It is a bit lazy, I wrote it on the fly and remembering some of the knowledge I acquired when I was studying Pedagogy. But, in essence, I hope you have understood. In the end, Lily opted for what she considered to be okay based on ideas and beliefs that she ended up having with her peer group. She put her friendship with the marauders first and decided to coldly and selfishly eliminate her friendship with Snape. In the end, we have all had friends from whom we have moved away because they no longer shared things with us (although I can presume that I never alienated anyone for thinking differently or liking things that I did not like), but also friends that we have from all our lives, with those of us who do not like things about them, but accept them and try to understand them, where the company of that person is valued more and we do not care what they tell us. It is true that the "peer group" exerts a lot of influence on us, despising those who consider strange people or have unusual habits for the majority of the population. But Snape and Lily met in childhood, this factor should not have been decisive for their estrangement and, I am afraid, that in the almost of Lily, he ended up accepting the conditions of his peer group to the detriment of maintaining a friendship that so much contributed. I don't hate Lily, I have no problem with her, for me she really is a flat character, too overrated and that only has a few three lines in the entire Harry Potter saga. It is impossible to empathize with her as we would with other characters and she hardly has any development of her. The most remarkable thing about her is that she gave her life for her son, otherwise she showed us a girl who had a strange friendship with Snape and who married the popular boy of her time.

#severus snape #severus snape headcanon #severus snape meta #severus #snape #Lily evans #Lily Potter #James Potter #Hogwarts #headcanon hp #marauders #hp #Harry Potter

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maybanksslut · 4 years ago

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Truth or Dare || s.b.

Pairing: Sirius black x reader

Requested: yes, by @welcome-here-in-my-world

Word count: 2k

Warnings: explicit language, enemies to lovers, fluff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’d despised Sirius Black for as long as you could remember. It was no secret to anyone. You’d never been someone to hate people, but he, oh how he got on your nerves. Never had you met anyone as annoying and irksome as him.

Everything about him made your blood boil. His friends and their stupid pranks they always pulled on you. One day it was dying your hair a bright color, another they’d settle for spilling water all over you. Everything just to see that angered expression on your “cute little face” as Sirius always said.

You also despised his smirk. Oh, how you wished to just wipe it off his face! The way his lips curled up in a mischievous smile each time he’d made a stupid comment or pulled a dumb prank. It made you crazy in the worst way possible. Not to mention that glint in his eyes when he knew he’d got under your skin. You hated how he was able to anger you so easily.

Last, but not least, you hated his popularity. How every girl and boy were his possession, how they all would do anything for him. He had everyone wrapped around his finger and that made you feel threatened. He might have been attractive, but his personality was fucking disgusting.

At least, that’s what you told yourself. Truth be told, what you hated most, was the absolutely awful crush you’d developed on the boy. You had no idea how, why, or when, but somehow you’d fallen for the boy you seemingly despised.

“Y/n?” Lily snapped her fingers in front of your face, bringing you back to reality.

“Huh?”

“I asked you if you were coming to the quidditch game tonight. ‘S Gryffindor against Slytherin”

“Oh,” you thought for a moment, before frowning. Gryffindor was playing, which meant Sirius would be there. Which also meant that you’d have to pretend you didn’t care about his stupid smile, and that was starting to get on your nerves. Lily was close enough to find out about the crush already, you needn’t make it easier for her. “I don’t think so, I’m really tired”

Lily just nodded in response, continuing to scribble something down in her notebook. You sighed. How long was this going to last? If the crush didn’t vanish soon, you would be sure Lily would sense something and confront you about it. And since no one was able to lie to Lily, you really didn’t want that to happen.

After a moment, you excused yourself, heading for your dorm. Unfortunately, fate didn’t want to let you off the hook that easily. You’d only walked a few steps before harshly colliding with someone’s chest, stumbling backward and dropping your bag.

“Ow!” You exclaimed, rubbing your forehead. You didn’t even bother looking up at the person who’d walked into you, as you already knew that chuckle too well.

“You should be careful not to fall for me, sweetheart,” Sirius laughed, bending down to pick up your books. A smirk was playing on his lips, and he looked quite pleased with himself for bumping into you.

“Right,” you scoffed. “You don’t have to worry about that. ‘S not gonna happen. Can I get my books now?”

“Sure,” he replied, raising them over his head instead of handing them over. You shot him a glare, jumping up to reach them. That was to no use, obviously, since he was taller than you.

You groaned, pushing him away and trying to annoy him, yet he only appeared even more amused, his smirk now a full grin, his pretty teeth showing. God, he was really pretty when he smiled... No! He was not pretty and he was not attractive, he was a prick and you didn’t like him.

Both tired and flustered by his behavior, you turned around to leave him. If he wanted the books, you’d let him have them. Better than anyone realizing you don’t hate him as much as you told everyone you did.

“Hey, wait,” surprised, you turned around to see Sirius jogging up to you.

Without a smirk on his face, he handed you your books. The moment his fingers touched yours, an electric wave shot through you, setting every particle in your body on fire, and suddenly, it was hard to breathe. You seemed to have got lost in his eyes, drowning in the stormy orbs. For a moment, it felt as if you had some sort of connection. A mutual feeling.

Then, he pulled away and the magic was gone, leaving nothing but two people that hated each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We’re having truth or dare in the common room later, you wanna come?”

Lily’s words make you sigh. Sure, you liked truth or dare, but with the whole Gryffindor house? Way too risky. You could accidentally spill your secret.

Perhaps you were worrying too much. Perhaps letting that dumb crush take over your life was foolish, it wasn’t that much of a big deal. Teens have crushes all the time, how is this any different? The truth was, you didn’t quite know why, but it felt different.

Not to mention that moment in the hall... god, you’d thought about his fingers grazing yours for the whole night. It didn’t exactly help that he was now sitting beside Lily, his gaze lingering on you and a small smile tugging on his lips.

“Yeah, y/n, you’d come,” he said. “There’s gonna be firewhiskey”

“I’m not an alcoholic,” you snorted.

“Everyone’s an alcoholic in seventh year”

“Sure,” you turned to your red-headed friend. “I’ll come”

Lily grinned, clasping her hands together. She then left, muttering something about ‘having to prepare the party’, leaving you alone with no other than Sirius Black. You tried to eat your meal silently, keeping your eyes away from his face, but it was nearly impossible when he kept staring at you shamelessly.

You looked up, only to reveal Sirius with his head tilted. There was something in his expression that made him look like he thought you were a puzzle he couldn’t quite figure out. The two of you didn’t say a word, letting comfortable silence answer every question for you.

Even though you couldn’t really read him, there was something that told you this silence was more than silence. It was like an agreement between you. What you had agreed on? You weren’t sure, but it felt good. Freeing, almost. And you didn’t want to let it go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The music was sending vibrations through your whole body as it loudly flew out of the speakers. The whole common room was filled with students, there were bodies everywhere. People were dancing, screaming, and singing to celebrate Gryffindor's victory over Slytherin in quidditch.

Someone bumped into you, spilling their drink all over you. You were going to scold him, but the person was already gone. You scoffed to yourself, angrily stomping towards the table you’d previously seen Lily sit at. You were starting to regret coming here at all. Not only did you have to handle Sirius Black, but you also had to dodge all the drunk students that were swaying their bodies in every possible direction.

“This is why I hate parties” you muttered to yourself, spitting down on Lily’s left. She smiled, not even looking at you, bringing her drink up to her lips.

You followed her gaze, only to find her staring at James Potter. Not that you were surprised. The two of them had been pining for each other for god knows how long. You chuckled to yourself as Lily’s gaze met James’. You noticed he was hesitant about coming over when you were there as well, so you quickly fled the scene so they could have some alone time.

You found yourself a new spot, by the tray with firewhiskies, where you quietly drank the alcohol. It was freeing to feel the booze numb your senses and you almost forgot why you didn’t want to come here at all. Almost.

“Well, well, well, who do we have here?”

“Piss off, Sirius”

“Ouch,” he jokingly grabbed his chest. “You’ve wounded me”

“Good,” you spat, getting ready to leave the whole party. Your mood was ruined, not because he seemingly annoyed you, but because Sirius had a very irksome way of making you feel things you shouldn’t feel.

He made you feel something for him.

“Leaving already?” He pouted, running a hand through his hair. “We haven’t even had the chance to play truth or dare”

“I don’t care”

“No, wait,” he almost pleaded. “Just one game. For me. Please?”

You really wanted to leave and forget this conversation ever happened, but with Sirius looking at you like that, it was impossible. You sighed in resignation, following your so-called enemy to the middle of the common room.

He was quick to silence everyone and make them sit in a circle on the floor. For some reason, it annoyed you how all the girls sent him flirty looks. Luckily, he didn’t return them, only sent you a small smile, which, completely against your will, turned your legs to jelly. If you weren’t already seated, you’d probably faint.

“Okay, everyone knows the rules, right? The only difference is this time I stole this from Slughorn,” he took out some sort of potion from his pocket. From the triumphant smirk on his face, you guessed it was a truth potion. And you weren’t wrong. “That’s right, folks, veritaserum. Now this game will be more honest than ever”

God, this was taking an awful turn. Yes, now the word truth had a completely different meaning. Before at least you could’ve lied about something you didn’t want to answer, but now? You were forced to actually reveal all your darkest secrets.

But no worries, right? There were at least fifty people here, surely you wouldn’t be chosen in the first few rounds. Right?

Wrong.

“Y/n, truth or dare?” You steered in shock at the bottle Sirius had just spun. How were you the first one to get chosen? Did really life hate you that much?

You could see he was amused. His eyes had that glint of mischief in them, and he was grinning widely. “Uh, dare”

No! No, no, no, what had you done? Yes, if you’d chosen truth, you’d have to tell someone a secret, but now Sirius, of all people, was the one to decide your fate! Oh, how you wished he’d have mercy and dare you to jump on one leg or braid someone’s hair.

But that was just wishful thinking and you knew it, just as you knew Sirius. And his mischievous smirk only made you more certain. He wasn’t going to go easy on you.

“I dare you to kiss the most attractive person in this room”

And that’s when you freaked out. Your hands were full of sweat and you hoped to his no one saw your heated up face. Your lower lip quivered and you were almost sure you’d start crying.

Surprisingly enough, your behavior didn’t go unnoticed by Sirius, whose smile had faded at your reaction. Instead, his eyes filled with worry and he grabbed your hand, pulling you out of the common room. You vaguely heard some people complain, but Sirius ignored them. All he cared about was getting you out.

He stopped in the hall, turning to look at you.

“Okay,” he began. You opened your mouth to apologize, but he put a finger on your lips. “Shhh, you don’t have to say anything. It’s okay, I’m sorry that I made you uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to, y’know”

You were taken aback by his words. He didn’t seem much of an apologizing person. Perhaps he didn’t mean it? But his gaze told you that he wasn’t joking, not his time.

In the heat of the moment, you offered him a smile. “It’s okay. I just didn’t want to kiss you in front of everyone”

For once, you were the one to make him flustered and confused. He opened his mouth to say something, yet nothing came out. You... thought he was attractive? You, who he’d been so annoying too, like, forever? Realization spread across his face. Perhaps you didn’t hate him after all?

“You can kiss me now”

“Keep dreaming”

The smile you sent him made him feel weak and he could slowly, but surely feel himself falling for you. Although he didn’t want to admit it, he knew he’d do anything to get that kiss from you.

TAGLIST: @rorysreallyrandom @swanimagines @lxncelot @emmacata @i-cant-stfu @sirius-animagus @jupiiiter @captainshazamerica @iamninaanna @amortensie @theravenclawgal

FIC REVIEWERS: @amourtentiaa @slutforsalvatore @acosmis-t @iamninaanna @coffee--writes

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black imagine #harry potter reader insert #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #sirius x y/n #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #sirius black smut #harry potter #hp #sirius imagine

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jamaisjoons · 4 years ago

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the summer bucketlist | m.list

When the weather sees the return of sunshine and warmth, the joy and exuberance of summer is revived, and everyone rushes to enjoy the season to the fullest. Bonfire nights with your friends, seeing brilliant firework displays or laying under the stars on a humid night and watching the world go by. Learning to surf, or dive or snorkel or simply collecting seashells along the shore. Late nights at the amusement parks, thrilling roller-coaster rides or spectacular views on the Ferris Wheel. Skinny dipping in a lake after dark, attending a film or music festival, or even just visiting the popup street market in your city. Everything you had been dreaming off since the start of autumn, you can do once again. And who better to do it with, than the boys who bring more joy and warmth to our lives than summer itself?

Welcome to ‘The Summer Bucketlist’ - a writing event/author collab hosted by @jamaisjoons

The Summer Bucketlist: BTS Edition - is an event in which various different authors can sign up to write a story based on traditional Bucketlist Items. Find their stories below!

⟶ song of the sea; knj ⇥ @jamaisjoons ➳ fantasy au. little mermaid au. ↳ ⎡Take a Trip to the Museum⎦

« Captivated by the sight of you, he can’t help but watch you swim around his home. And when you turn to leave, he doesn’t know what overcomes him - but as if spellbound - he finds himself following you back to land. »

⟶ molotov cocktail; jhs ⇥ @yeoldontknow ➳ bartender au. arranged marriage au. ↳ ⎡Take a Cocktail Class⎦

« You met him January, on a night when you were newly single and newly wanting to break free from your father’s unyielding control. You left him in January, full of regret but full of purpose. You meet him again in July, and now you want nothing more than to run to the ends of the earth with him, to burn down the shape your life has taken in the hope of making something new. »

⟶ luminous; pjm ⇥ @luffles424 ➳ summer festival au. tentacle monster au. ↳ ⎡Watch Fireworks⎦

« The Busan summer festival is your favorite event of the year. You like all the food and things to do, but your favorite part is watching the fireworks at the end of the night, gathered with friends and family. It’s fun and joyous. Except this year you’re spending it without them. So you find a secluded spot on the beach to watch alone. Except... you might not be as alone as you thought you were out here. »

⟶ sticky situation; kth ⇥ @jiminsfault ➳ camping au. established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Go Camping⎦

« You hate camping, but Taehyung is determined on changing your mind on that. »

⟶ pull me in; jhs ⇥ @guccybangtan ➳ established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Go to a Water Park⎦

« In the heat of the summer, there's nothing more relaxing than relaxing than a nice trip to the water park. »

⟶ a beautiful epiphany; jjk ⇥ @onherwings ➳ friends to lovers au. ↳ ⎡Join an Art Contest⎦

« Who would have thought that falling in love with your muse could either lead to something beautiful or bring you to your own demise? »

⟶ love grows where you go; myg ⇥ @rookiegukie ➳ arranged marriage au. pining au. ↳ ⎡Watch the Sunset on the Beach⎦

« Determined to make you and Yoongi grow closer for your upcoming wedding in two weeks, your parents plan a trip for the both of you that lasts five days long. You know you should be ecstatic about it, considering your longtime crush on your fiancé, but by how you're positive that he secretly despises your whole being, you don't find this mini vacation with him something to look forward to. That is until things take an unexpected turn and suddenly, he makes it apparent he doesn’t hate you at all as you reckoned. »

⟶ petrichor; pjm ⇥ @taetaewonderland ➳ strangers to lovers au. domestic au. ↳ ⎡Go on a Picnic⎦

« There are smells in the world that can trigger your brain to think of a memory almost in an instant. »

⟶ sun cockblock; myg ⇥ @cremeandsuga ➳ best friends to lovers au. summer au. ↳ ⎡Join a Sandcastle Building Competition⎦

« Cancún was always a trip to remember - sun, beaches, hookups and day drinking, not to mention the annual sand castle competition you entered with your best friend every year. Yoongi smells like Copper Tone sunblock and heaven. Entering a sandcastle competition with one of the least competitive people in the world was pure agony — but it didn’t dawn to you that your best friend wasn’t competitive because he was confident he would win. Upon your loss, he sees you trying to soothe the burn of it (and the sun) with the beach bartender. He may smell like Copper Tone sunblock and heaven, but he’s sure you feel like heaven. »

⟶ rejuvenation; myg & jhs ⇥ @caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma ➳ spa owners au. ↳ ⎡Treat Yourself to a Spa Day⎦

« You finally get a break from work and you decide to indulge in a little pampering and self-care. During lunch, your friend slips a card into your hand for an exclusive spa with a special referral discount. How can you resist? Let’s hope the Bangtan Blossoms Spa provides the relaxation & rejuvenation experience you desperately seek. »

⟶ just a taste; kth ⇥ @xjoonchildx ➳ pwp au. ↳ ⎡Go Wine Tasting⎦

« He’s hot. he’s considerate. He’s refusing to make a move. weeks of sexual frustration come to a head at a wine tasting and -- this is going to shock NO ONE -- smut ensues. »

⟶ lollipop; myg ⇥ @ironicarmy ➳ neighbours to lovers au. ↳ ⎡Attempt to make Ice Cream⎦

« It’s a hot summer day, he’s desperate, and your ice lollies taste like heaven. »

⟶ carnival lights; kth ⇥ @taephilia ➳ haunted carnival au. horror au. ↳ ⎡Visit a Carnival⎦

« With half of your friend group graduated and leaving your hometown to move to the city for work, you and your friends decide to have one last adventure together (in the words of hobi even though it’s only may and you see each other like every day). But things are always different in the nighttime and you never know what’s lurking between the funnel cakes. »

⟶ midnight menagerie; knj ⇥ @jooneggs ➳ friends to lovers au. ↳ ⎡Go to a Botanical Garden⎦

« Like water, cradling your fragile soul, Namjoon has held the lily of your heart all your life and you wish you could let him know just how much that means to you. Coincidentally, it just so happens you can: in a week's time when you're stuck in the holiday of your life at Namjoon's father's Botanical gardens. Will you finally get to repay him in a bed of roses or will he be the one to make the bouquet for you? »

⟶ ferris drink; jhs ⇥ @salvejoon ➳ pwp au. established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Ride a Ferris Wheel⎦

« Your boyfriend has a bucket list of places he wants to do the nasty and next up is a Ferris Wheel. »

⟶ hose wars; ksj & myg ⇥ @babybinnyboy ➳ neighbour au. ↳ ⎡Have a Water Fight⎦

« Spending a summer in a little coastal town was supposed to be relaxing. It wasn't supposed to include a broken AC unit, record break heatwave, a hose, 2 ridiculously confident, attractive neighbors with an annoyingly low fence. »

⟶ cut shot; myg ⇥ @kimtaehyunq ➳ vacation au. established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Learn to Volleyball⎦

« He hates the water, he hates the heat, and he hates the Sun. Any form of physical activity is a big no-no, yet Min Yoongi will go out of his way to show that he loves you on your mini vacation. »

⟶ eternal summer; pjm ⇥ @aiimaginesbts ➳ childhood friends to lovers au. vacation au. ↳ ⎡Go Sightseeing on Vacation⎦

« Breaking up with my boyfriend leaves an empty spot on the overseas vacation that I had been looking forward to for a long time. I’m torn between abandoning the trip or going it solo when someone offers to tag along. However, having Jimin, my best friend go with me may not be the best idea — since my crush on him has never gone away. »

⟶ sway with me; knj & jhs ⇥ @minjoonalist ➳ established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Take a Boat Ride⎦

« You love celebrating your anniversary, it was the only special part about summer that you looked forward to every year- But when your husband Is unable to make the availability due to his job- You thought why not make the best of it? »

⟶ ecstatic shock; jhs ⇥ @iluvstrawberry ➳ strangers to lovers au. abo au. ↳ ⎡Host a BBQ⎦

« The garden party your parents throw every year is coming up. Seeing your conservative parents, is something you definitely don’t want to face on your own. But with all your friends being busy, you’ve decided to accept your fate and drown your sorrows at your favourite bar. Enter: Jung Hoseok, bartender, lifesaver and the most gorgeous guy you’ve ever seen. »

⟶ kaleidoscopic; knj ⇥ @boywivlove ➳ established relationship au. ↳ ⎡Go Paintballing⎦

« You and Namjoon decide to blow off some steam and go to a paint balling range, one multicoloured blitzkrieg later; bruised, sweaty and victorious you celebrate your win. »

⟶ undercurrent; jjk ⇥ @jjungkooksthighs ➳ best friends to lovers au. post college au. ↳ ⎡Go Diving⎦

« After a year and six months of sea fare and many more nights of sunken eyes that had been dotted with the black shadings of sleeplessness that you’d helped to nurse him because of, the fruits of your best friend’s efforts had earned him the completion of his mission to map the entire eastern seaboard. In all his work, though, Jungkook has not gotten the chance to dive at many of the areas scattered around the ocean in the vastness of the seas. You decide to take him to a previously unmarked, unmapped sector of the sea after following his own nautical charts. The catch is this: you’re afraid of the water. What happens when you find yourself following after him and into the arms of the sea after years of pent up sexual frustration that you blame entirely on him? »

a/n: this is incredibly late but onefgeoingoeitng i hope you enjoy reading all of these works! If you participated in the collab but your fic isn’t on here, it’s because it hasn’t appeared in the tags! please feel free to DM with the link to the fic!!

#jamaisjoons summer collab #tsb 2020 collab #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #namjoon smut #seokjin smut #yoongi smut #hoseok smut #jimin smut #taehyung smut #jungkook smut

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