#hate being bad at things and being ‘bad’ at musical theatre is i think considered particularly cringe by so many people in the industry

[funhomes]

i’ve always been like “i love musical theatre but i’m not a performer/actor” which has largely been true cuz i don’t have the training blah blah blah but now i’m also like. but what if i love it too. what do i do about that at 29

[spaceagebachelormann]

zigmar i come to you humbly on this fine evening with the simple request that you give me some sort of might duck sustenance por favor and muchas gracias

they can be incoherent and stupid and goofy and silly to the max i just need to rotate this little kids like rotisserie chickens in my mind (esp fulton portman and julie)

random miscellaneous tmd thoughts !

✧ warnings: some of them may be ooc ngl

✧ additional info: u got it pookums 😈😈😈🙏 also these can be read as either platonic or romantic (not luis)

✧ m.list — nav.

♡ charlie conway !

the most insane taste in music literally ever

bro goes from madonna to death metal SO FAST

but ngl his playlist is always the best and he always gets to play music whenever u go anywhere

but oh my god he’d love pierce the veil in present day

HES ALSO LIKE SOMEHOW AMAZING AT MATH. but he cannot do science for literal shit

also his clothing style changes js like his music taste

will literally be kurt cobain one day and morrissey the next (hed hate morrissey though)

♡ adam banks !

every team sleepover/event/literally anything could js be a spontaneous hangout is always at his house

it’s because he’s rich and his house is huge as fuck and he has every board game known to man

just do not play uno because a fight always breaks out (charlie is always part of it)

he’s always the one who ends the fight also

he has this very calming presence that’s so nice to be around and him js talking to whoever got into a fight immediately helps calm them down

also weirdly good at comforting in the middle of the night but never during the day??

♡ lester averman !

he would watch full house religiously prove me wrong

his favourite character is obviously joey because they are one in the same

everyone on the team and their mother has been forced to watch full house while he’s been at their house/vice versa

he can also cook like. decently well !! it’s not something he’d prefer to do but he will for his friends if they’re tired or smth

♡ fulton reed !

this little shit

he is so unbelievably competitive over the smallest things it’s actually insane

typa guy to race u to see who can get to one side of the room first and start genuinely tweaking if he doesn’t win

at sleepovers he refuses to fall asleep first even if it’s just by a few minutes

he could be dead to the world but still have his eyes open cause he refuses to let u win (unless ur his s/o cause he might consider it that way)

♡ connie moreau !

she is definitely a theatre kid idc

her favourite musicals are probably grease, hairspray and heathers

she likes female main characters!!

everytime she gets into a new fandom she immediately starts thinking abt what it’d be like a musical and probably wanted to be a composer at some point

would 100% beg to use the aux on a road trip and then blast hamilton loud as balls

she wholeheartedly believes six is a top tier musical and she will DIE on this hill

(fun fact i’ve met andrea macasaet <3)

♡ guy germaine !

modern day guy would’ve loved basic white girl music

“life is too short to pretend to hate taylor swift” —him

also 100% a britney spears girlie. and nsync and every stereotypical white girl artist

but i wholeheartedly believe britney would be his favourite and he has her whole discography on cassette, cd, vinyl, u name it he has a britney spears collection

also his ass is NOT straight 💀 i’ve never met a straight man who listens to britney spears

♡ julie gaffney !

lowkey a regina george multitude if she wasn’t kinda. yk. a bad person

she’s a mix of cher and regina

everyone at the fancy ass boarding school literally loves her because she’s calm, smart pretty nice etc etc she’s just a really great person to be around

shes that one student who has every assignment finisher a week early, all a’s and 100% in every subject WITHOUT being mean abt it!!

her ass is friends with the whole student population and knows every well and knows all the drama but won’t tell everyone if she thinks it’s too personal (it’s it’s random petty nonsense she tells the team)

♡ ken wu !

secretly rlly good friends with julie but nobody knows even though they do not try to hide it at all

literally wander the halls talking abt whatever just for everyone to be like “y’all are friends???”

also this man secretly loves lana del rey

him and julie will sit on his bedroom floor and literally tell him the most insane and jaw dropping gossip she heard that day while lana is playing in the background

everytime someone asks his favourite lana song he says grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he’s deep-sea fishing on did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean blvd to fuck with them

♡ dean portman !

is actually very very good at math!!

he was a tutor for the 9th/10th graders for a bit to get volunteer hours and also cause he just likes doing math

you’d expect it to be like doing homework with ur dad and the poor kid is in tears while deans like “WHATS NINE. TIMES TWO.” but he’s actually surprisingly patient

if he’s explained something a few times and they still don’t get it he’ll just try it a different way until they get it and work them through the problem

has rlly strong relationships with the 9th and 10th graders cause of this and is essentially their older brother figure

the amount of 14/15 year olds that he’s given relationship advice too is insane (id be one of the 14 year olds probably)

♡ luis mendoza !

his type is secretly quiet girls cause he finds them rlly interesting and likes the thought of them being happy around him but quiet around everyone else

he’s like yes girl be urself with me

it all stemmed from the girl he liked in 8th grade who helped pick up his pencils when she accidentally knocked his pencil case out of his hand (she was a quiet nerdy girl)

like a whole year later and he’s still trying to rizz her up 💀

he’s one of those guys who takes forever to lose feelings

the girl is actually good friends with him btw

♡ dwayne robertson !

i feel like he is fucking AMAZING at baking

his icon is dolly parton and he heard berry pie so he immediately learned how to bake

if someone he knows has a birthday he either bakes the birthday cake or brings them something he made depending on how close he is with them

and holy shit it’s the most amazing thing u will ever taste and nothing will ever compare

yes he’s one of those guys who will go on an 18 minute tangent on how amazing dolly parton is if someone talks shit about her (same i love dolly)

[wwillywonka]

1, 6 + 7 !!!!!!

hiii thank you so much for the ask! link to the ask game here. also, for context if anyone doesn’t know, my special interest is willy wonka/charlie and the chocolate factory, though you can probably tell from my url lol.

going to answer these two together because i think it makes more sense!

What first got you into your special interest? & 6. How long have you had this special interest?

okay so this is always hard for me to answer exactly because i've always loved willy wonka and catcf. i literally can't remember a time when the story didn't matter to me. i read the books when i was little, and i used to watch the gene wilder movie over and over as a kid (j have it on laserdisc lol, my family is very into physical media). i really could not tell you how old i was the first time i saw it. also, i have a very distinct memory of being very young and walking into the living room to see my dad watching catcf 2005, specifically the scene right after the shoe-shining conversation where willy bumps into the glass elevator and goes, "i gotta be more careful where i park this thing teehee<3.” i was 4 years old in 2005 so i really can't say if it was actually that year, but i don't think it was too long after the film's release (though i don't think my dad would have gotten it from the library/blockbuster. he's a huge film buff but has always hated burton's work, and he was probably just watching it because he caught it on cable).

anyway, all that being said, i became interested in burton's work back in 2013/2014 when i was first entering fandom spaces as a preteen, and i remember seeing a lot gifsets, fanart, etc. of various burton films (as was very common for the twilight years of emo culture during the early 2010s). my family has had our nightmare before christmas vhs since the movie came out, and it was another i watched on repeat as a child, so me getting into burton in general wasn’t that far of a stretch. i watched and rewatched all of his main films during the halloween season of 2014, and for some reason, the two i latched onto were catcf 2005 and alice 2010. (also i saw alice in theatres when it first came out and i remember enjoying it because alice 1951 was another film in the regular rotation during my childhood). looking back now, i genuinely think it was because i was first discovering my queerness, and 2005 wonka is just the Epitome of gender fuckery and general offbeat-ness. he's queer in every sense of the term, and i found myself relating to him, especially, too, because of his relationship with his father. because, well… things.

fast forward to 2020 when things were obviously Bad. let's just say i was pretty lonely and discovered a little thing called self-shipping. though i didn’t really participate, it became something i entertained myself with in the privacy of my thoughts and various google docs. i found myself fascinated by the f/o community and, along with my budding interest in studying fandom from an academic angle, i delved into this world of self-inserts, y/n, and canon character x reader fics. i know, to some, that culture is considered “cringey” or what have you, but i think the art that comes from those communities can be very beautiful and heart-warming — not to mention that it’s a far better and healthier coping mechanism than some, ah, more socially acceptable ones. anyway, i then created my character ross able (who i reference often on here but haven’t really explained in depth. there’s not much to say other than he’s me if i was a 200 yr old british man with a world-famous chocolatier for a wife). i listened to and watched bootlegs of the musical, then, i bought my own copies of the dahl books and annotated them. and i started writing heaven on their minds. AND THEN THE PREQUEL WAS ANNOUNCED, and i became even more dedicated to creating my own version of the story. and now we’re here.

(this also lead to me being generally interested in dahl’s work, too, which led to my interest in wes anderson, which led to my interest in bong joon-ho and on and on and on. not to mention being into burton’s work led me to oingo boingo and danny elfman, whom i’ve seen in concert three times, and to my general interest in film music, music theory, and their intersection with psychology and emotional development. it’s all connected.)

it was also around this time, around summer 2021, that, after lots of research and discussion with therapists, etc., that i realised i’m autistic. and it wasn’t long before i understood that my interest in wonka is… different, special if you will, from the “normal” way people interact with their favourite media. i genuinely think i would be a different person if wonka wasn’t so important to me. you know this if you have a special interest, but everything i read or watch or listen to seems to come back to him and catcf. i don’t really know how to describe catcf’s presence in my life other than it’s here and i can’t rid of it, not that i’d ever want to try. 
 


Have you had any other special interests before? What were they?

correct me if i’m wrong, but don’t most people only have One Main Interest? like something that is part of their identity and way they live their life that they couldn’t rid of if they tried? at least, the way i’ve always experienced my own interests is that, while other things come and go, wonka never wavers. i could be, as i have been lately, deep deep deep into star trek: it being the only thing i can think about, the thing that makes want to get out of bed in the morning, the only thing i want to talk about with others - but wonka is always here. sometimes, my need to watch star trek or make art about it can make me genuinely forget about my responsibilities to the point of consequence. but other times, i simply don’t care about it at all in favour of another piece of media (though my love for it never truly goes away), like arcane for example. however, when it comes to wonka, i have that Need to engage with him always, but unless i’m deeply focused on him, as i was while writing heaven on their minds, i can go on with my day-to-day life without feeling like my skin is on fire with withdrawal. if that makes any sense.

genuinely curious because i see the term confused with hyperfixation A Lot, and i’m always curious if/how other people experience it differently.

anyway, i would consider alice in wonderland to be my second tier Main Interest, even if it isn’t necessarily special. the level to which i’ve researched the lore and history of catcf has also applied to alice over the years. when alice through the looking glass came out in 2016, i became more invested in the story because of my need to fix it, lmao. a lot of my motivation to engage in fandom, especially to write fanfic, comes from that need to amend. i get really protective (and possessive) of my favourite characters, and the hatter became one of them. as you might know, i’m currently publishing my attlg 2016 rewrite, so if you’re curious to know more of my thoughts, i’d recommend checking it out…

other than that, i was known from late middle school to early college as That Guy Who Likes Loki Too Much, and while i never published any fic about him, the majority of my fandom engagement during my teenage years was centred around him and marvel. i definitely didn’t actually start participating in the wonka fandom until 2020 despite enjoying catcf so much on my own. i even performed a poem i wrote about loki during my college freshman orientation. i am cringe but i am free.

tldr: my main interests, besides wonka, are alice in wonderland, loki, and star trek. also doctor who but that's a long story for another time <3.

this was super fun to write about, thank you!

[yuki-tsunodas]

thank u peach @astaom im so sorry i forgot abt this whoopsies

1. do you make your bed? no lol

2. favourite number? don't really have a favourite number but i like even numbers in general, if i was forced to pick a number i'd pick 20, but more often my feelings towards a number are linked to who drives with that number LOL

3. what’s your job? in 2 weeks time i will start being a uni student :') studying something in the performing arts!

4. if you could go back to school, would you? cannot say anything about uni yet but . high school was academic hell im never going back (even though i had a lot of fun)

5. can you parallel park? nope i can't even drive LOL im old enough to get a license but i have actively refused to get one because i think i would be a road hazard

6. do you think aliens are real? i have no opinions but probability says yes so i'll say yes

7. can you drive a manual car? refer to question 5 LMAO

8. guilty pleasure? uhh. genuinely idk. and if i had anything considered a guilty pleasure i dont think i would be sharing it on tumblr lol

9. tattoos? don't have any, but i'm planning to get at least one when i'm older (which is a horrifying prospect because i am deathly afraid of needles)

10. favourite colour? don't have a specific one because i feel like each colour has its own vibes, but if forced to pick probably orange green and blue (i have specific shades of orange and green in mind). im ignoring black white and brown because my art/graphic design brain doesn't switch off and those are neutrals to me

11. favourite type of music? rock (very broadly, i like fall out boy and day6 the most), kpop (i have a love hate relationship with it), whatever pop music sounds good to me (i currently really enjoy chappell roan), musical theatre

12. do you like puzzles? i like solving problems in general -- that's how i treat design and gifmaking. also i play stewardle and driverle (f1 wordle) regularly

14. favourite childhood sport? loved swimming and badminton as a kid...probably still count as a kid now so my current favourite sport to play is floorball

15. do you talk to yourself? a concerning amount. i talk so much that at least 3-4 friends have told me to start a podcast

16. tea or coffee? neither. it seems like caffeine is my enemy because anything with caffeine in it tastes bad to me LOL

17. first thing you wanted to be when growing up? pretty sure i wanted to be either a ballet dancer or an artist as a kid

18. what movies do you adore? i'm so not a movies person...but movies ive watched more than once (an achievement) are the cars series (my favourite is cars 2), og avengers (my favourite mcu movie), age of ultron and civil war. also shoutout to spirited away, ponyo and howl's moving castle for having a special place in my heart. most recent movie i've watched is how to make millions before grandma dies and it was amazing i sobbed watching it. it's a thai movie but blew up so i went to check it out and it is incredible.

not gonna tag anyone cos i got to this so late lol

[sanguine-law]

"Fuck it...Why not?," Grief mumbles.

your name: "Rei Faust. Though most call me Grief."

Romantic or platonic?: "I accept either one. I just...hate being alone."

A night in or dinner out or an activity?: "All of the above, if that's an option. Whole point in hanging with someone is to hang with them. Doesn't matter where."

Ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries?: "Chocolate. Just chocolate. I'm uh...allergic to strawberries and I ant a fan of ice cream cause of how rich it tends to be. Sorbet is good though."

What's your perfect date?: "A movie, maybe check out a play at the local theater. Dinner after perhaps?"

Would you cook for me?: "I would, but my skills in the kitchen aren't great. I need a tutor for culinary skills just as bad as sword"

Would you let me cook for you?: "Yes. I appreciate anyone willing to cook."

Can we make-out?: "I'd like to know a person more first. Though, I think that'd be a moot point considering we kinda already did. If ya count biting me as making out."

Make out in private or in public?: "Private. I'm not one for pda."

Do you like to cuddle?: "Haven't really done that before so I don't know if I do or not."

Blankets or no blankets for cuddling?: "I find if folks want to cuddle, having blankets around just gets in the way."

Couch or bed?: "Anywhere that's comfortable. I'm not fussy."

What are at least 3 hobbies of yours?: "Karaoke, watchin' musicals, fencing. The fencing thing is sorta a new thing for me. Picked it back up after quitting fencing club at high school. Too many prissy folks that ticked me off."

Tell me something about you no else knows: "I'm not fully human. Just half, which is the physical form you see right now. I don't share that info because most half-breeds like me have a shitty reputation."

Why do you want to be my valentine?: "You seem entertaining and far more rational than the majority I've met."

What makes you a good Valentine?: "I don't. I try to be, but I fuck it up every time. Last bloke I dated set my dress on fire during a play."

"My condolences about that previous pathetic date-mate of yours. I've had my own share of mates like that. Pretending they love you, only to end up destroying things when you do something they don't like. Or if they feel the need to assert their will.

"Valentine's Day may be over already, but I think a lady like yourself who knows how to have a fun night would be a catch.

"A good meal, at home or at a restaurant, and a play. With so many theatres around, we could find something that compliments both our tastes. And then, once it's over and the sun is long below the horizon, I can happily invite you to my abode for a passionate night in. We could certainly come to know each other.

"And, for clarity's sake, no, I don't count a bite and drink as 'making out.' That wasn't a kiss, just a meal."

Then he chuckled. "Though I must say. I'm more rational than the majority of what? Vampires? How foolish they must be if I'm more rational."

[the1975attheirverybest]

not to come across as a performative leftist like you can't make these jokes aaahhh. obviously don't make jokes that actually hurt people but i think from a white cis male inherently those jokes come across as hurtful even when not intended to be. and while I think there could be a case for looking at the bigger picture also i think if you are hurting people you should be critisized and yes allow mistakes but when you are super privlaged and saying that while having made mistakes it comes across as saying you should ignore those doing harm. like a lot of the jokes are arguably not wholly harmful like i dont think he would have genuinely had anything to follow on from trans people in sport but when you are not trans (i am) it comes across as a bit tone deaf especially considering the state of politics in the US currently.

and like critisize the right and question the left but when you are privilaged and you do it by making racist jokes and nazi solutes it comes off across as genuinely hateful and like i know ur not and ur fans know but also do they? because you are a guy on stage who we don't know and when you don't adress anything (other than saying its a performance and a bit) or sit down with anyone other than white men to talk about it it comes off as hateful. and it's really hard to come across as critical when it seems genuine and you have to do the 'well but actually he is a good guy but he is pretending' like look at jshlatt because that's a 'bit' but its fucking harmful.

though i do think the idea that music and concerts should be more widely seen as an art space is interesting because if it was someone in a movie/theatre production doing a nazi solute you wouldnt hate the actor. but i think when thats not assumed because its a gig and you say risque shit and you dont necessary put the work in (like obviously he has morals and has been vocal about misogyny and racism previously but thats not always super apparent especially when they don't know you. and like when he attempted to coerce amelia into a kiss or he posts about hot women which comes across as weird and objectifying that is what people know him for to an extent (or at least my irls) its hard to explain to people that he's not like that.

as an aside I also think its interesting that he's gone super masculine 'I'm a man I'm a male I'm a he' after so many years of being disintrested and saying that he isn't interested in masculinty. like saying that being a leftist man is confusing despite saying previously in response to that sentiment 'just existing is confusing' so like is it all just a bit? we will never know and its both very cool and incredibly frustrating and i genuinely struggle to reach a solid conclusion and put it into definitive words

i think overall his performance is based on trust that he is not a bad person and while i believe that its difficult if you don't know him personally and as a white cis man he has privilege so he doesn't have to worry about the repercussions of his jokes

(sorry if this is all a bit much i have a lot of thoughts) - 🐸

Thanks for offering this alternative perspective! I really appreciate it! I am, myself a woman of color, but I’m a cis woman, so I can’t speak for the experiences of trans people and how they are affected, nor would I ever want to invalidate your feelings. If that’s how you feel, and you genuinely find fault in the things that he does, I think you are well within your right! And you can be a fan of someone AND also criticize them. Like I hate that a second of the fandom is like “if you’re saying this it means you don’t get the band” or whatever. That’s not my intention here at alllll.

The way I see it is this, and please please please feel free to disagree with me! I think disagreement is healthy and helpful when done respectfully and I don’t mind it at all.

1. Matty has a lot of blind spots. Because of the very things you mentioned. I don’t wanna get us off track by bringing up a separate issue, so I won’t get into all the debating, but, like, his stance on “nepo babies” is kinda faulty and a little dumb, lmao. But I think he thinks the way that he does because he grew up around art and artists so those things come intuitively to him. Also, just bring a white, male, wealthy person makes him inherently privileged so his stance may not always be representative of most peoples. So, I agree with you that, sometimes, the jokes, well intentioned though they may be, come off as tone deaf. Like, let’s take the Japanese accent nonsense as an example. Matty isn’t racist. We all know this. DH represents a lot of poc and artists of Asian descent and we know he supports them fully, etc. his music actively tries to point out the ways that society marginalizes black and queer people. We know all that. But, my thing is, would he make that joke in front of a Japanese person? As a white guy, would he feel comfortable in doing that accent and have it come off as “just a joke” if the person sitting across from him were Japanese? My guess is he’d say no. Well, then, that’s a good measure for a joke that shouldn’t be told. If you can’t say it to the people it’s about, then maybe stfu. Like, he just straight up fucked up there. There’s no beating around the bush. He shouldn’t say it was art or whatever. He should just say he’s sorry.

2. I think your point about trust, and about people who don’t know his heart reacting differently, is EXACTLY why Matty does what he does. Like, progressive politics and standing up for the rights of marginalized communities should not cancel human decency. We shouldn’t be in a position, as a society, where we have to even say “no, no, listen, guys! He’s a good human! He actually wrote songs like Jesus Christ 2005, and Love It If We Made It! He’s a good guy!” Like why is that even necessary. Why is not the default of society to say “I don’t hate you as a person and want to cancel you, but, look man: what you did/said is fucked up. And here’s why.” Like, his thing is based on trust because trust SHOULD BE the norm. (Obviously, don’t extend that trust to the Epsteins and Weinsteins and Cosbys of the world, they don’t deserve it). Like the norm should be saying “no. This is bad. Here’s why. Do better.” Without all the moral outrage and performant I’ve nonsense that we do around it, you know? I think that’s what frustrates Matty and that’s why he does that stuff. It’s also unfortunately why it doesn’t work. Cuz people who don’t know him ARENT trusting him. So it’s not gonna work. Perhaps the goal here is to point out the problem within our society. But I’m not sure that the people who hate him are seeing it that way. They don’t realize that they need to be more compassionate. They’re patting themselves on the back for “canceling” him. So…is his goal accomplished? Not really. Sadly.

3. I think it’s inherent in his job as an artist to criticize culture, to ask uncomfortable questions, and to observe and react to his surroundings. I don’t think he’s suddenly saying “I’m a man, I’m a make, I’m a he.” I think, as he has said in the past, he grew up privileged enough to be in a position where he didn’t HAVE to question his sexuality. Cuz he was surrounded by artists, queer people, liberal values, etc where progressive ideals were the norm. That’s not the experience of all of us. I think he took the fluidity of gender and masculinity for granted when he was younger cuz he’s been lucky enough not to have to assert his identity day in and day out cuz nobody is writing legislation to criminalize him. However, as he has talked about before, seeing his own gender react the way that it has post- Me Too, and seeing how the right has capitalized on men’s issues, and seeing how western societies here in the US and elsewhere have been rapidly regressing, he feels more aware of his position, wants to express the frustrations, and wants to think about the issue alongside the culture. I think that’s a function of maturing and growing up, and also just being alive in 2023. If you’re a thoughtful person who is concerned about the future of mankind, then you can’t really not get socio-political. How could he remain silent when all this shit is happening? The 1975 has never been the type to be silent. So, I don’t really think this is a recent thing nor do I think he’s asserting his own masculinity. I think he, like all of us, is going “what is the role of the leftist male in todays world? Especially if you reject performatism , fake wokeness, etc.” that’s a valid question that he has every right to ask!

Does that make sense? Just how I’m viewing it. But like I said, please do feel free to disagree with me!

[lesbianspeedy]

can I hear about the mia and ollie similarities whenever you have time...

theyre blonde :( thats it :( okay but ACTUALLY LETS GET INTO IT

They're loud assholes to people who need to be yelled at, but theyre actually hella introverted.

Mia "i think fast i talk fast" Dearden will mouth off at villains and batman, and take the piss out of people she loves. BUT she wasn't exactly shown to have like a friend group at her school (she was shown to be popular. but we only see her specifically interact with one person), and was extremely nervous to join the titans, not because they intimidated her, but because she didnt really...want to be there. She'd rather be with people she knows. She spends most of her time practicing archery, even before she was speedy. The only time we ever saw her go out anywhere was on a date with Dodger. And I will be pretending for the sake of this post that all of this is bc of character stuff and not just bad writing!

Similarly, Ollie "goateed loudmouth" Queen thrives when he's alone, he prefers it, he rarely spends time with people outside of his family or close close friends. He'll rant and rave at leaguers and cops and capitalists and villains all day long, but he's at his happiest and most content when he's alone, and often when on the move too, this man cannot sit still he is like a fucking shark he will die if he is in the same place too long but thats unrelated to this post.

As is pretty much a requirement to be in the arrowfam. Neither of them are here to fight the big alien threats you take on while being in the league/titans. They're here to save the little guy and fuck up capitalists. They have both seen the worst of society on the very opposite ends of the spectrum, Ollie with the rich, Mia with those the rich forget or ignore. I don't think I really need to add an example of Ollie here considering thats like his main this if u know anything about him. But look heres mia thinking abt it in her first titans issue.

Now with coping mechanisms they're a lil different, Mia tends to isolate and stay in one place. Ollie will isolate but fuck off somewhere. Accidentally walk to canada. That sorta thing.

(pls ignore how terrifying bald ollie is)

They also both mask their emotions and deflect with humour when around other people, they don't want others to have to deal with their shit, they don't want to burden them (hence the isolation, this also often leads to them imploding in on themselves). Heres my most favourite example of their similarities ever (yes I will continue to post and talk about this specific thing every 3 weeks and no one can stop me) I do owe Hester my life for this

Now heres the best part. They both did this a lot right. And yknow what that led to? Learning and growing and being there for each other :] Now im going to be honest we dont really see this growth in vol 3 bc judd winick is incapable of writing character development but! Phil Hester is here for us once again with his story in the 80th special and this part specifically <3

Also once again a whole arrowfam thing- neither of them give two shits about their secret id lmao. I choose to believe Mia is so flippant about hers bc she so easily realised Ollie was GA that she just went like. Yeah sure I won't give a fuck either, it's clearly working for him.

oh and they both like musical theatre, hate batman and are homophobic**. sad. **not actually thats just an in joke in fandom

[ginemrys]

a bedsharing fic!! <3

i had some fun with this one!!! thank you for sending in the prompt @sunshine-marauders <3

-------

“Lily, it’s okay, we’ll grab a room in a hotel, it’s not the end of the world.” James said as the two of them stood staring up at the boards in the centre of Euston station, tears in Lily’s eyes as she read the bright orange “CANCELLED” sign beside their train, the last train of the night that would get them home.

It had been a wonderful night of visiting the theatre with one of her best friends, getting lost in a musical for a few hours. The two of them had been singing songs from the show to each other on the tube on the way back to their station, not caring as they got weird stares from other passengers on the Northern line whilst they sang a beautiful rendition of All I Ask Of You. And sure, Lily had felt her heart beat a little faster when they reached the point of the song where Christine and Raoul kiss as she looked into James’ eyes, but that didn’t mean she liked him. It just meant that she understood the character, right?

But their sing-along had come at a price. They’d missed their stop. And the next after that. Then the next. It wasn’t until the last passenger left besides them on the train got off at Golders Green that they’d realised their mistake. And then they’d had to run and get the tube back to Euston, only to just miss one. A three minute wait later and they were finally heading back to Euston, getting off to discover that the last train to Northampton was cancelled. And they were stranded in London.

Lily was wiping furiously at her eyes. They’d stopped for a drink in a bar after the show, assuming that they’d have enough time. So the alcohol in her system heightened her emotions, resulting in the water works. James was scrolling through his phone, looking for the closest hotel.

“There’s a Travelodge or a Premier Inn, they’re fairly close. Everything else is ridiculously expensive.” James said, glancing up at her. “Which would you prefer?”

“Premier Inn, duh.” Lily said, pushing her hair out of her face. “Are you sure we can’t get a taxi?”

“From Euston to Leighton Buzzard?” James shook his head. “It’ll be cheaper to spend the night. Come on, it won’t be that bad. It’s just a short walk and then we can grab some breakfast in the morning before heading home.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “What do you say?”

“Fine,” Lily shoved his side playfully, but leaned into his hold after. “But you’re buying breakfast, you’re the one who suggested drinks.”

“Deal.” James chuckled before ducking to kiss the top of her head. “Come on, let’s go. It’s late and we’re both shattered.”

And so they made their way out of the station, following Google Maps to the closest Premier Inn. It was dead quiet inside, just one sleepy receptionist behind the desk barely able to hold her head up.

“Hi, how can I help?” She asked in a monotone voice, having just blinked at the two of them a few times as if she was trying to figure out if they were real or just her imagination.

“Hey, we missed the last train home. Do you have any rooms for tonight?” James asked, running his hand through his hair. Lily watched his movements, eyes following the motion of his fingers brushing through the messy black curls. She wanted to do that, run her hands through his hair. Chill out, Lily. She mentally berated herself, barely hearing the conversation beside her as she tried to sort out whatever the hell was going on with her hormones at that moment.

“Lily?”

“What?”

“Are you good with sharing a bed? There’s only doubles left.”

Holy shit. The thought of sharing a bed with James both thrilled and terrified her. Would she be able to control herself around him? The not crush but definitely a crush that she’d been harbouring for him for the last few months might rear its ugly head and make her do something stupid. But then again, she really didn’t want to have to walk all the way to the Travelodge and have the exact same option, or no room at all.

So she nodded, blushing when James grinned and turned back to the receptionist, passing over his card. Lily tried to protest but he insisted that she could just send him half the money later to save time. Then before she knew it she was joining him in the lift, heading up to the fifth floor. Of course James had had the foresight to ask for some toothbrushes and toothpaste, Lily was far too occupied to even consider such a thing.

Lily decided that she was going to hum to herself the overture to Phantom of the Opera as they travelled up to their floor, her eyes fixed on the ceiling of the lift. And then James’ hand was in hers, pulling her out of the lift and down the corridors of the fifth floor until they came to a stop in front of their room. He swiped the key card and there they were, alone, in a room with one bed.

Her throat felt thick as Lily looked at the double bed, why did it look so tiny? She stood in the small space beside the open wardrobe and the bathroom while James flicked on the lights and moved further into the room, peeling off his jacket and kicking off his shoes as he went.

“Come on, Evans. It’s just a place to sleep.” He smiled at her as he said it, noticing her hesitance. Damn him for being so perceptive to her emotions all of the time. With a deep breath, Lily walked further into the room, setting her shoes beside his while her own jacket draped over the top of his on the chair.

“Here, toothbrush.” He said, passing her one of the two clear toothbrushes he had picked up. “I’ll let you use the bathroom first, gentleman as I am.”

“Oh, so kind.” Lily rolled her eyes while grinning at him, accepting the toothbrush gratefully. She shut herself up in the bathroom, immediately rushing to the sink to splash some water on her face. Why was she so warm? “Get it together, Evans.” She muttered to herself, glancing at her reflection. She sighed as she looked at her makeup, minimal as it was, she had nothing to remove it with. Which would almost certainly result in panda eyes in the morning, but what other choice did she have?

So she left her face alone and focused on brushing her teeth, being a little more thorough than she usually would so James wouldn’t have to wake up to horrific morning breath. God, James was going to see her first thing in the morning. Christ on a bike. She filled one of the small glasses by the sink with water to rinse out her mouth, then gulped another glass down.

James was sitting perched on the edge of the bed when she returned, his eyes meeting hers straight away. Damn, did this man ever stop smiling?

“All… All yours.” Lily said quietly, stepping out of the way as he moved to head into the bathroom.

“Thanks, Lil.”

The door locked behind him and she released a deep breath again, her fingers moving shakily to undo her jeans. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep in them, so wanted to get them off and climb under the covers before he could come back. He wouldn’t want to see her in her underwear.

Jeans folded, with her bra tucked safely beneath them, Lily climbed into the left side of the bed, hoping he didn’t mind that she preferred the left. She plugged her phone into the socket next to her bed, thanking her past self for packing her charger in her bag. And then she waited, sitting cross-legged beneath the duvet as she listened to the sounds of the tap running.

The bathroom door opened and Lily had to do her best not to gasp. He’d taken his shirt off. It wasn’t even like it was the first time she’d seen him shirtless either, but seeing him in a dimly lit bedroom right before he was about to be laying right next to her was something else.

“You don’t mind if I sleep in my boxers, do you?” He was asking, his eyes having taken note of her folded jeans.

Lily shook her head, doing her best to look him in the eyes rather than drool all over his bare chest like some hormonal teenage girl watching Magic Mike for the first time. But then he turned his back on her and was pushing his jeans over his hips and Lily couldn’t help but stare. It was actually so unfair how fit her best friend was now, she could still remember the scrawny little kid she used to swim in the local lake with.

Any shred of sanity Lily had left vanished when he turned to face her again, she could feel a wave of heat rushing all over her body. And he’d seen it happen, had seen her eyes darken and her gaze shift into something hungry.

But he ignored it, electing to just climb into bed beside her and turn out the light, facing away from her.

With a slight huff, Lily threw herself down against her pillow, gazing up at the dark ceiling. Her arms were folded over her chest, her legs still crossed like they had been when she’d been sitting. While annoyed that he’d not responded to her sex eyes, she also just felt embarrassed. Because she’d totally just objectified him, looked at her best friend in the whole world like he was a tree for her to climb and use. And she hated herself for it.

“I can hear you thinking, Evans.” James whispered through the darkness, his back still facing hers. “Relax.”

And she did, her hands slid to rest on her stomach, her legs unfolded and moved to rest against the mattress. Her eyes closed and she let out a small sigh. And then he had to go and roll over, his breath on her neck.

While she knew she should just ignore it, squint her eyes and try to sleep, Lily couldn’t help but turn her head on her pillow, her eyes opening once more. And there he was, looking at her. No glasses, his hair already made even messier than usual from the pillow. He just looked so soft.

Usually James was all sharp edges and angular, charisma dripping from every inch of his body. He was sarcastic and energetic and never ever seemed to get tired. But there, laying in bed beside him, he seemed so calm, so at peace. His sharp edges had blurred, softened by the look in his eyes as he gazed at Lily. And that was what he was doing, gazing.

It didn’t take her much to lean in, just one look from him was enough. Her body turned on the mattress as she shifted to reach his lips, her own brushing his softly. And then she moved to pull away, to see his reaction when he moved, his hand sliding to the back of her neck to drag her closer. His lips covered hers and by god, did it feel right. Lily’s hand came to rest on his chest as she kissed him eagerly, their mouths pressing together in a perfect dance, nothing too eager or too slow.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for months.” Lily whispered when they broke apart, her eyes still closed.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for years.”

She looked at him then. There was no trace of a lie in his eyes. She believed him, because of course she did. James never lied to her.

And then she tackled him against the bed and thanked the London Northwestern Railway gods for cancelling the last train home.

[dirtycccat]

the demon bros+ undateables showing their love

thought about this for 5 min then had to write it out so enjoy

lucifer

first off you notice he treats you differently

and by differently i mean like you’re his favorite child  sibling

you get away with anything??? and he’s softer with you than with the others (which is canon)

then you see that?? he keeps buying you stuff you said you wanted when he was present

and you’re ofc impressed

but you’re more impressed by how open he’s around you

he’ll leave most of his walls down around  you

which means you’ll get to experience unfiltered lucifer

he’ll laugh around you more, make dumb dad jokes, nap with his head in your lap, complain drunkenly about his work and bros, give you sloppy cheeks and forehead kisses

you find it rly cute though

if you’re in the human world he’ll 100% take this chance to send you beautifully written letters asking you how you are and leaving some verses that reminded him of you on the back like a 19th century vampire

“dear mc, how is your life? mine is filled with woe and unease since i do not  have the light of my life around anymore...anyway here’s a poem about being horny and alone by a 18th century romantic author hope to see you soon, xoxo lucifer”

you try to respond in the same way and send him memes on the back instead of  poetry (or real poetry depends on your mood)

mammon

protective of you 100% will throw hands with anyone that even glances weirdly your way

but also wants to show you off? like look at this human!!! this is MY human!!!

gives you random thoughtful gifts that reminded him of you

wants to be around you 24/7 so he invites you to all the events that he thinks you’ll like

you wanna party? perfect. you wanna go on a weird ghost stories tour around the city? cool. you wanna waltz in one of those old people parties? he’s already reserved two tickets. you just wanna lay around and nap? he’s already on your lap.

it doesn’t matter if you’re in a romantic relationship or not this man WILL serenade you outside your window

rapunzel style with an acoustic guitar or with a boombox like a rebel 80s kid

anyway here’s toxic by britney spears babe this is for YOU

levi

considers you his bff ofc

but also at first he’s still really awkward around you and doesn’t really know what to do for you and feels bad thinking only you do things for him

until you reassure him you enjoy just being around him so it’s fine

he blushes and starts inviting you more to his room to game/ watch stuff

at some point he starts buying two tickets to all concerts he goes to and invites you along

but also? he asks you what you’re into and starts marathoning your favorite animes/ movies/ series so he can talk with you abt them

you feel really moved that he’d do that for you???  like??? bruh...

your relationship is basically friends respecting each other and wanting to know each other the best through their passions even if it means getting into some weird shit

it’s rly wholesome tho

if you’re romantically involved he’ll totally do roleplay as your favourite character and you do the same for him and it’s really cute

also imagine: artistic collabs. you make fanart together??? you can program games together???? you do cosplay together??? the possibilities...

satan

he’ll hate to be compared to his dad brother but he does show how much he trusts you by showing his unguarded side too

when he first talked about lucifer without the filter of his nice guy persona you were pretty shocked

like he was really going at it

but then you realize? he’s just like that when he’s comfortable

and it’s not all mean spirited, he just has,,, a strong personality and a lot of opinions about stuff (which you sometimes share with him)

but you also found out it’s really fun to gossip with satan

since he knows all the juicy gossip from his multitude of ties (he’s sharing the title of gossip queen with asmo that’s why they get along so well tbh)

also if you even find a teacher you hate he’ll tell you all their embarrassing moments to make you feel better

he also recommends you books and poems and sends you quotes that made him think about you

so you sure as heck don’t need to buy books while you’re in the devildom bc he’ll buy you an entire library 

asmo

compliments you without comparing you to himself which is the highest compliment he can give

like mammon he’s more into the showing everyone his favorite human around while also protecting them

he’ll take you to his parties and gatherings as a guest of honor, he’ll make you meet all kinds of people and open up opportunities for you

he’ll be the one that pampers you

you’d think lucifer is the sugar daddy of the family but nope it’s asmo

he’ll buy you cute clothes, shoes, beauty products everything that he saw and imagined would look bomb on you

if you’re not into clothes he’ll buy you art supplies, books, anything you want but he’ll still probably  buy you at least some clothes he thinks are cute

if you’re romantically involved,,,, he’ll buy other toys for you as well which you can try together wink wink

beel

cooks for you

no questions asked when it’s his turn to cook he’ll think about what YOU would like to eat first before making something

which is??? really touching coming from beel

and also means sometimes he’ll make the same dish three weeks in a row and annoy the others while you just get excited bc ??? you get to eat your favourite dish??? again and again???? 

thank you beel you truly know how to touch someone’s insides

also opens up to you and talks to you about his fears and thoughts

expect to get 4 am msgs from beel if he had a nightmare

which would end up in you coming to cuddle him (and belphie also joins sometimes)

which tbh is that even a thing you can complain about?

belphie

is more baby less murder when you’re around

naps on your lap, naps on your shoulder, naps with you anywhere

but also let’s you nap on HIM

besides being soft around you he actually opens up to you too

and talks to you about his traumas and issues

which he has in common with his twin what can you do

so you have weekly cuddle parties with him and beel where you talk about shit and actually make them resolve their issues instead of just,,, ignoring them

also if you’re into each other you probably tease each other and flirt really shamelessly in public while the others cringe and or blush at your language

are you a cowboy? because i want you to ride me all night 

simeon

writes you fancy letters with poetry like lucifer, but his ink is scented and  his envelopes contain pressed flowers more often than not

if you’re together you even do letter sexting if you’re into it

creates characters based on you in his stories (which you don’t believe even if levi points out you that the two of you are kinda similar)

asks you to spend more and more time with him and luke

invites you to picnics, reads to you while your head is in his lap, cooks you snacks

if you’re a theatre kid too,,, you do musical love confessions too,,, sometimes by just reciting the lyrics of really popular musical theatre songs in a death panned voice

cough a heart full of love from les mis but read like poetry through the fence of the house of lamentation cough

asks you cryptic shit hannibal style like “tell me mc what does it mean to want to be consumed whole by another? is it a desire to become something bigger than yourself or is it related to our need to become one with our loved one like some cultures pointed out before?”

you’re either really into his cryptid talk or just roll your eyes and smooch him

diavolo

invites you around to his castle all the time

sometimes he even pulls some weird shenanigans just to make you spend more time with him

expect tea parties with him luci and barbatos in no particular combination

gives you compliments 24/7  even in public

remember how he treats lucifer? he’s that for you too but he’s learned from the lucifer experience to focus on complimenting you as a person more than how you look

if you’re into pda he’ll touch you all the time

if you ever wanted a gomez - morticia romance, here’s your goth big titty himbo that’s way too full of love

if you’re lovers expect to be pampered, i feel like? he doesn’t buy a lot of gifts and such because he’s probably tired of material things but he will make time in his busy schedule for you and spend a lot of time with you

which means more to him than gifts

(we will buy you anything you ask though)

barbatos

actually talks with you about stuff outside rad, the demon bros and diavolo

also invites you to alone time tea or wine time

where you drink and gossip

if satan and asmo are the crowned queens of gossip barbatos is the king of gossip but he doesn’t share his knowledge to most people so nobody knows what he knows

but he knows,,,, a lot

and not only that he knows a lot about people nowadays,,, but imagine the things he knows about like historical figures and such,,, 

so prepare for story time with barbatos where he  talks about how oscar wilde was almost summoned by drunk inccubi during a party once, or how  diavolo cried when he was a kid because he sent a letter to caravaggio asking him to paint his portrait and he said no

also if you get drunk together expect really energetic talkative barbatos destroying DESTROYING everyone (except diavolo ofc)

“lucifer please i once saw you crying because you thought diavolo was ignoring you when you actually forgot to press the send button to your messages ”

if you’re romantically involved diavolo will always be first in his hear but that just means you’ll have to invite diavolo along on your dates which  just means you’ve got a new lover and a new bff

solomon 

he invites you on all kinds of wacky adventures

you  visit witches, go to weird magical forest parties or orgies if you want, you go travelling the mountains for rare herbs

it’s like you’re faust and he’s mephisto  haha the irony and he’s showing you another side of the world you never knew 

ofc the others know about all this but??? they thought it’s normal and didn’t even consider you know nothing about it

but solomon knows what it was like to be just a human

and since he likes you he empathizes with your situation

he also make you meet all kinds of people

since he has 72 contracts and hundreds of years of doing wack stuff he must know some interesting people

and now his friends are your friends 

i feel like romantic solomon would be just him?? but less shady with you especially since now you understand him better 

but also he’ll probably bring you weird shit from his alone expeditions

did you ever want the tears of a mermaid? a carnivorous plant that feeds on emotions? a crying portrait? no? well too bad because now you have a room full of weird items

...that you love and treasure thank you very much

[nitpick7]

Ayo anyone wanna see my essay on why removing Anybody Have A Map made the Dear Evan Hansen movie worse? It is slightly long

Disclaimer: I did like the movie (I cried three times), but I think they made some stupid decisions with it.

Dear Evan Hansen movie + musical spoilers under the cut, plus a fair amount of DEH neg/crit

Instead of Anybody Have A Map, they just have Evan's mom say "Hey are you writing those letters to yourself? Also you should ask the kids to sign your cast" before he goes to school and sings Waving Through A Window. They ignore every other part of the song and quickly insert the only thing from the song that's absolutely needed to understand the story so Evan can go be angsty at school. We don't even meet the Murphys until they meet Evan in the principal's office to tell him about Connor.

Disclaimer part 2 electric boogaloo: I complain about Evan a lot here. It's not because I think his experiences aren't valid and it's not because I'm trying to demonize people with mental illnesses or something. I know that his own struggles influenced his bad decisions. That doesn't mean they weren't bad decisions. He still did shitty things and he wasn't justified (listen to Words Fail), but I know it was influenced by his mental health.

On with the complaining!

First of all, the movie opens with Waving Through A Window? It feels like they're putting the most popular song first as a desperate grab for your attention to convince you the movie is good and like... they really didn't need to do that. Waving Through A Window is right after Anybody Have A Map, it's not like anyone's gonna walk out of the theatre after one (really good) song.

Anybody Have A Map establishes a few things: it shows us that both of these families are struggling so that we know immediately that the Murphys' perfect facade is fake, it shows us that Connor was a dick to his family (this is very important), and obviously it tells us why Evan was writing letters to himself. It also introduces us to the two main families at the same time so we know this story isn't just about Evan.

By starting the movie with an Evan solo song instead of the group song, they frame Evan as the one main character, the only person whose perspective we need to understand. But Evan is incredibly flawed, just like everyone else, and by making us think the story is only about him, it immediately makes us (the audience) more inclined to believe that Evan is always in the right and less inclined to consider everyone else's side of the story. Evan is an incredibly unreliable narrator, he's always going to frame his actions as correct, or at least excusable, even when he's actively hurting/lying to other people.

All of the Murphys get introduced through interacting with Evan instead of interacting with each other. This makes it seem like the Murphys only exist for Evan, but the entire point of the climax is that everything doesn't exist just for Evan! Evan is not part of their family, he can't just use everyone around him for his own benefit, and all of the Murphys have lives outside of him. When they're introduced through Evan, they're introduced as existing for Evan. Anybody Have A Map introduces them separately from Evan instead of attached to him.

Without Anybody Have A Map, we never actually see Connor being mean to Zoe, so she just looks like an asshole for not being sad about her dead brother. To make up for it, she's constantly having to tell the audience why she hated him, tripping over herself to talk about all the shitty things he did to her because we don't have Anybody Have A Map to show us their interactions. Zoe ends up complaining about her brother the entire time, so when it gets to Only Us and she says that she doesn't want everything to be about her brother, it seems out of character for her.

And with the removal of Anybody Have A Map, we don't ever see Connor interact with his own family in the movie. Anybody Have A Map is the only time we get to see Connor with his family. It shows us that Connor really was an asshole to his family, it justifies Zoe hating him, and it gives his mom more dimensions by showing her struggling to keep her family together even with everyone fighting against her. Without that, the writers ended up ignoring the most basic piece of writing advice - "show, don't tell" - to fill in the missing information from the song.

In the movie, all we get of Cynthia Murphy is... her being sad about Connor and refusing to admit that he ever did anything wrong. She's just boring and annoying in the movie, but in the musical, we get that bit at the beginning that shows her as an actual person with actual motivations! By cutting Anybody Have A Map, they made her into a more one-dimensional character.

So in a bit of a conclusion: Anybody Have A Map establishes the Murphys as main characters separate from Evan and shows us Connor's relationship with his family instead of telling us about it. It sets the scene for the story before just jumping into "Evan is sad and alone uwu anxious depressed soft boy" and makes everyone a better, more three-dimensional character. Getting rid of it meant that they had to do backflips to justify everyone's decisions during the movie instead of setting everything up at the beginning.

I do think the movie could've benefitted from Disappear but then again, it could've benefitted from the whole "Connor being the visual/vocal representation of Evan's justifications for why keeping up the lie is helping people" thing in general, but they got rid of that so Disappear wouldn't have worked. (I am salty that they got rid of that thing but whatever) The Anonymous Ones worked instead and it was a good song, so sure, why not I guess? /neutral

I could also complain about how they got rid of To Break In A Glove, Disappear, and Good For You, but none of those decisions actually impacted the story too much. To Break In A Glove and Good For You both got replaced with some tell-not-show cutscenes that gave us the same information in a less interesting way (and Larry got less character development without To Break In A Glove), and Disappear got replaced with an Alana song which was honestly pretty good so i'm fine with that one.

Now for some good changes that the movie made!

The Anonymous Ones was a good song, I actually really liked that. I'm disappointed that they got rid of Disappear, but they replaced it with another song that served the same purpose while also giving Alana more screen time and character depth! And it was a genuinely good song, I really enjoyed it and it made me like Alana more!

I really liked the ending of the movie. In the musical, there are literally no negative consequences for Evan, Zoe even forgives him at the end. She fucking forgives him for lying to her entire family about their dead son and and taking advantage of them because it "brought them closer together". And the internet never finds out what he did! He does all this terrible shit, lies to the entire fucking world, and gets away scot-free. And he never learns anything real about Connor. The movie changes all of that.

Connor's song was also a great addition! Every time we saw Connor in the musical, he was either being a dick or he was a fantasy version of himself made by Evan and/or Jared. Seeing that Connor can, in fact, be a nice person, that Cynthia's belief in him wasn't misplaced, was so satisfying. He really was just a meaner version of Evan a troubled kid lashing out at the world in self-defense. He wasn't an entirely bad person.

The Murphys still decide not to tell anyone what he did, but then Evan decides (on his own!) that he needs to own up to what he did. He records a video of himself admitting to what he did, shifts all the blame to himself, and then goes out of his way to fix his mistakes in any way he can. He says that his biggest regret is not getting to know Connor while he had the chance, so he goes online to find anything he can. He reads Connor's favorite books, tries to find anyone who might be able to tell him what Connor was like, and when he receives a video of Connor playing his song in rehab, he takes the time to send the video (through the mail, on a flash drive) to the Murphys, Jared, and Alana.

Evan doesn't contact Zoe at the end, she contacts him instead. She doesn't forgive him, and he doesn't ask for forgiveness. He knows what he did was wrong and he owns up to it and tries to fix it as much as possible, knowing full well that it could ruin his life. He does the right thing for the first time in the entire fucking movie (that's hardly even an exaggeration) and it's such a good ending. It makes more sense and is more satisfying than the musical.

The Dear Evan Hansen movie was not nearly as bad as the reviews say it was. It wasn't as good as the musical, it had its own problems, but it also made some good changes that I think made the story better. It wasn't perfect, but I enjoyed it and most movies aren't perfect anyway. It really could've benefitted from Anybody Have A Map, though.

[wolvesandpetals]

Loki x Sylvie Post-Finale Fanfiction (Angst, Rated Teen) Part 2 of 2

Part 1 is here:

She never knew it would hurt this much when the person she loves is right in front of her, but she can't reach out and touch him; when she is still her, he is still him, but everything else has changed, like an invisible lever in an old theatre changing the scenery in the background, bringing them both to the part of the play where they are hopelessly lost.

[[MORE]]

All it took was one single moment, one single decision, and everything feels irrevocably broken now. It makes her contemplate on the true nature of relationships, how fragile they are, and how easy it is to shatter them- and her.

The smoke is slowly clearing, and all that seems to be left is a man who is doing his best to keep his distance from her, physically and emotionally.

She can tell from the way he stands with his arms crossed, or his fists clenced when his hands are by his side, that he really doesn't want to hold her hand. How can something so simple as the touch of his fingers be so vital to her existence that it feels like something has been ripped out from inside her?

She wants to reach out and touch him, but she is scared that if he pulls away outright, any hope of reconciliation that she still has left will shatter into pieces.

And she really needs this hope. It's the only thing she still has left. It's the only thing that keeps her going.

---

He looks like a man with a mission.

They spent quite a long time together, running from the TVA, running towards the citadel at the end of time, hoping to achieve their goal of bringing down the one behind the curtains.

But that was her mission, and he was there for her. She was the one behind the wheels, he was the one keeping the sails afloat.

Now it's different. Now he has a defined goal, a glorious purpose.

She's seeing him in a whole new light now, and not just because he has switched to Asgardian leather and metal armors.

As far as she is concerned, she is better off doing it all alone. One woman army, nobody to get in her way, nobody to screw up her plans. Nobody to blame her if it all goes to shit.

Or so it was, until two months ago, when Mobius decided to enlist her help in fixing the multiversal madness.

She has never really worked with people before, and it's weird, to say the least. She never considered herself a team player, but she is finding herself hating the idea less and less lately.

And she swears it has nothing to do with him. Not the fact that they are working together, and seeing his face first thing in the morning brings her a sense of calm that she quite can't explain. Or the fact that their rooms are next to each other and it makes her feel secure enough to finally get some rest at nights. Or that this whole arrangement has kept them on talking terms, when they had gone their own separate ways otherwise.

Nothing to do with that at all.

---

Humans are stupid, and the biggest evidence of this is how they decided that two extremely powerful Gods skilled at magic, enchantment, and defeating an evil extra dimensional cloud that swallows everything it touches, should be delegated to the role of research. "You're clever. You're good at reading people. You can put yourselves in the shoes of the bad guys, no offense", they said, but really, what they meant was, "We can't trust you out in the field much." She knows it, he knows it. She just doesn't know why he's complying.

That's how they find themselves researching every single day.

She likes to think he's not the only reason why she's studying in the library instead of in the comfort of her room, but that'd be a lie.

At first, he chooses to sit at a separate table. But she keeps going over to his to "get his opinion" on something in the file she's reading, and finally, he gives in. Their current arrangement consists of him sitting in the chair in front of her, to the left, prim and proper, while she hoists her feet up on the table.

He falls asleep on the desk one night, face smacked against a file, the tiniest bit of drool forming at the corner of his mouth. It would be a hilarious sight, if her heart wasn't feeling what she can only describe as longing.

They should probably talk about it, like mature adults, but neither of them know how to do that.

All she can do right now is gather the courage to run her fingers through his hair. The touch is hesitant at first, as if one wrong move would make him wake up and push her back to square one. Slowly, she relaxes, letting her fingers dance on his scalp.

He stirs in his sleep. "Please Sif. I'm sorry. Don't cut off my glorious locks, please."

Now this is a story she must hear when things are better.

If things are better.

---

Doctor Strange joins them very briefly, very rarely, but the tension between him and Loki is hard to miss. It's worse than the current situation with her, and that's saying something.

"You don't really like Stephen, do you?"

Something inside him seems to shift, but he masks it behind a non-chalant look immediately and just arches an eyebrow at her. "He's Stephen now, is he?"

"Well, that is his name." She shrugs. "What do you call him?"

"Strange", he spits the word out with an amount of irritation that indicates there definitely is a story there. "That is his name", he mimics.

She can't help the smirk that spreads across her lips. "What did he do to you?"

"Nothing", he lies, ignoring the horrifying flashbacks of thirty minutes of endless falling. Not a single soul must ever know a mere human got the best of him. "What can he do to me? I'm a God among those mortals. He just irks me because he is so pompous, and arrogant, and he ceaselessly uses magic to toy with others."

She pretends to think deeply. "Now where have I seen that before?"

He scoffs. "You mock me, but I am nothing like him. For one, I am not rude."

"He seems fine to me", she declares decisively.

It's the first time in months that he gives her a cheeky grin. "That's because you're rude too."

---

They are still just containing the threats to their world, instead of finding a way to fortify the barriers between worlds and stop the threats from coming.

"Shouldn't we have a plan to seal off the other worlds from ours?" She asks him one day.

"They are working on it." He tells her, and then with a look of worry, adds, "I hope."

There are debates on what to do at the Avengers tower and at the TVA. Nobody seems to agree on what the best course of action is, but everyone seems to be following the general instructions of Doctor Strange.

During one such meeting, a Minuteman makes the mistake of voicing out loud how she wondered if things would be better if they were running according to their old boss's plans.

Sylvie feels the guilt wash over her once more.

"No", Loki tells them all firmly. The determination in his voice takes her completely by surprise. "Evil is evil. Lesser, greater, middling, makes no difference. The degree is arbitrary. The definition’s blurred." She catches him steal a glance at her direction. "We couldn't have left a dictator in charge just because it's convenient. Listen, I'm the bad guy. I've done horrible, unspeakable things. I thought humans needed to be ruled. I wanted to rule. But even I know that it's not right to take away a person's life completely. These are innocent people. You are innocent people. You have families back home, parents, children", a pause and a softening of his features, "-love. A whole past, a whole future. That man had no right to take it away from you."

His powers of persuasion are foreign to her, and it's mesmerizing to watch. Her enchantments cannot hold a candle to how he is able to just talk people into doing what he wants, thinking what he thinks, seeing what he sees.

"He who remains had a plan. One, singular plan, from one, singular man." There is absolute conviction in his voice. "It's not the only way. We'll find another way. A better way."

She has never known what it is like to have someone see you for who you are- broken and flawed, and defend you- even your well-intentioned actions that yielded different results than what you expected and hurt them in the process. She suspects it has been the same for him, a lifetime of not having anyone have his back.

The warm feeling inside her is brand new. What is the name of this? Comfort? Relief?

Happiness?

---

This will be their first time out in the field in a long time, and she feels a little sick to the stomach.

He notices. "Are you alright?"

The concern in his voice tugs at her heartstrings. She nods. She has faced way worse, she shouldn't be so nervous about this, but she is. "I've never done this before."

"We can always just kill him and blame it on the Chitauris", he suggests with a serious face.

"I heard that", Peter yells from the other room, where he is doing whatever it is that teenagers do to prepare for battle.

She shakes her head in disbelief. "I can't believe we're babysitting."

"I've done this before", he assures her, and it surprises her to picture him being entrusted with such a serious task. "The trick is to conjure up illusions that keep them distracted enough to not cry."

She laughs. "You're thinking of infants. This one is a little older."

"I'm over a thousand years old, Sylvie. They're all infants to me."

Peter joins them, mask covering his face so that he doesn't reveal his identity. "So what do I call you? Loki and Loki? That's confusing. How about Loki and Lady Loki? Or is that offensive? I'm not suggesting women are inferior, because they're absolutely not..."

"Does he come with an off switch?" She whispers in horror as Peter rambles on.

Loki grins. With one wave of his hand and a flash of green, Peter's own webbing shoots out and seals his mouth shut.

---

Things are fine but not fine at the same time. He's right there beside her, but not there at all. They have their banters, they have their stolen glances, but they haven't had a meaningful conversation since that first day when she got back. She's been putting it off for a long time, but she knows they really do need to have the talk.

She corners him in his room one evening while he's tinkering with a temporal collar. She takes a seat in the chair next to his bed and rests her hand on the table, leaning her head against her palm, before switching position and crossing her arms and legs. Everything about her posture screams uneasiness. If he notices- he probably does- he doesn't say anything.

"You defended me that day."

He briefly looks up from the task at hand and gives her a soft smile. "Of course."

She blinks. "I don't understand." Her hands involuntary rise up to rub her temples. "If you can justify my actions to them, then how can you still be mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you", he says without missing a beat.

"Rubbish", her words come out angrier than she intended. This frustration is the result of the months of status quo they have had. She has to know now, one way or the other. "You're distant. You're guarded", she accuses. Then her voice breaks, as she feels a part of her break all over again with her next words. "You don't hold my hand. Why? Tell me."

He abandons the collar and focuses his full attention on her. Staring straight into her eyes, he answers her. "You know why."

"I wouldn't be asking if I did. Look, if it's because I chose the mission over you-"

"-Of course it's not that." He says decisively. Then a sad smile clouds his face. It's the same look he had when she accused him of conning her to gain the throne. "Do you think I'm the type of man who would want a woman to abandon her life-long ambitions just because she has met someone?"

She knows he isn't. But it still doesn't answer why he is so cross with her. "What is it then?"

He pauses for a moment, trying to decide whether he wants to bare his soul out to her once more or not. There are two ways he can go from here- choose to not let her in again and save himself from the hurt, or trust her again and open himself up to potential pain.

Who is he kidding? Pushing her away- keeping her away- doesn't hurt any less.

There were a thousand things that had to go wrong to bring two Lokis from two universes together. A connection like that, it doesn't just happen.

And it doesn't just go away. The pain is constant, it's a part of him, pounding like a second heart every second he has to stop himself from reaching out for her hand.

This has to come to an end.

He takes in a deep breath, bracing himself. "You didn't have to send me away, Sylvie. I wanted to stop you from making the same mistakes I did. But in the end, I didn't care what you chose. I just wanted us to do it together."

She never even imagined this could be the reason for his hurt. All these months spent thinking he hates her for her choices, and now it turns out he is hurt simply because she chose to do it alone? "I'm sorry." She says sincerely. "I just wanted you to be safe."

"And I just wanted to be there with you till the end." He confesses. His eyes shimmer with the emotions he has kept bottled in for so long. "You go, I go."

She doesn't know what to say to that. She has never been good at articulating her feelings. Tears stream down her cheeks at the realisation that even after everything, he is still there for her.

She didn't cry even back at Lamentis when they thought they were going to die. She doesn't let anyone see her cry when she is sad or scared. That's all she has known her whole life. She's used to it by now.

This is new. These are tears of relief. Comfort.

Happiness.

Tentatively, she crosses over to the bed and sits by his side.

It's quiet for a few minutes. But unlike the months of tension so thick she could cut it into splices with her daggers, this is comfortable silence. The kind they had before it all went wrong.

"Did you even miss me?" He whispers.

"What kind of silly question is that? Of course I did." Her shaking hands grab his, and oh how she missed this.

He intertwines their fingers. His eyes draw closed. Bliss. That's the only word for this feeling.

He opens his eyes again and studies her. She's staring back at him, teary-eyed, but with a hopeful smile. "Really? Because you have a really unique way of showing it. You didn't even come looking for me."

"I didn't know how to face you", she tells him honestly. No tricks, no enchantment, no treachery. Not with him. "I didn't know if you even wanted to see me." Her voice grows quieter, dropping to a timbre that perfectly encapsulates her deepest fear. "I thought you hated me."

"Hate you?" He is shocked that she thinks that is even possible, specially after seeing him these last few months. "Sylvie, I'm working with the Avengers. The Avengers. Do you know how much I hate them? They are my nemesis. They're self-righteous, condescending, and so completely dull. Every second with them makes me want to rip their hearts out. Why do you think I'm here with them?"

She thinks she knows. But she needs to hear it anyway.

"It's because of you." He lays it all out on the table. All cards on deck, win or lose. "You've been running away. I have been the one who has been here, trying to hold down the fort, working to fix everything. Because that is what one does when one loves-"

Shit. The word slips out before he realises it.

Their eyes go wide in unison.

"Sylvie, I-"

"-Don't you dare take it back now." She warns him. "I-" She doesn't know how to say it either. They make such a great pair, both equally daft at saying how they feel, like they are teenagers, not Gods who have lived for centuries. "I've been running because I didn't think I could bear the burden of knowing I found you and then I lost you. I don't want to lose you. Not now, not ever."

He kisses the back of her hand, before letting it go. He cups her face, gently caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "I don't want to lose you either."

She leans in closer, until their foreheads touch. She can feel his breath on her face, warm and soft. That is exactly how she feels inside. "You won't", she promises. "You go, I go."

---

(Quote on Lesser Evil from The Witcher. Thanks for reading!!)

[vvanini]

whats your favorite obscure hc about each of the losers?

Fucking perfect thank you

1- Mike he reads books or articles like “how to understand woman”, “why women like jerks”, not because he wants to woo woman or is a nice guy or anything but just because he thinks it’s interesting

I don’t think he’d date anyone

Gives great dating advice tho

Reads manga Likes Junji Ito

“The manga/book was better” kind of guy

I don’t know why but I feel like he’d be this ENTP-ish dude who likes to gather information about a lot of useless things and likes to debate He likes film and game theories Watches MatPat for sure

Also he likes The Walking Dead and… zombies in general

Also I’m sorry but he likes Quentin Tarantino and Wes Anderson

He likes grindhouse movies and appreciates the gory details but is chill about it Likes cinematography in general

Watches video essays about movies

2- Richie

Unlike Mike, Richie isn’t chill about gory details and whenever someone gags while watching a movie he goes “You think that’s disgusting??? Lmaoooo that’s nothing.”

He’d be the type of guy who brags about being immune to disturbing shit

Google searches include “top ten disturbing movies of all time” “scariest movies ever” “movies worse than a serbian film”

Still likes pink guy and thinks Joji is a genius

Unironically loves the song “I Love Sex” by Pink Guy and listens to it at least once everyday

Uses Discord a lot

Always starts studying on the last day

I think he’d like history

Not like Mike tho, he just likes textbook history and world wars etc

Plays Hearts of Iron and League of Legends

Also :) he likes to code

he is a Linux >>>>>>>>>> Windows kinda guy

Likes breaking bad

And Rick and Morty

Understands politics really well

His music taste is… anime opening songs

Evangelion especially

Likes science fiction books

Pretends to be a flat-earther/conservative/anti-vax for the meme

3- Ben

LIKES BACKSTREET BOYS

and boy bands in general

he is old school and still carries an mp3 around

Doesn’t use spotify, he illegally downloads songs like a champ :D

Likes story rich games

Especially RPG’s. He really likes Planescape Torment and Baldur’s Gate

Kinda lame about women, like he hears Jordan Peterson say something like “the eternal image of the divine feminine” or some shit like that and he goes “wow poetic. agreed”

Doesn’t read “How to woo women” books like Mike but thinks about it a lot that’s for sure

Likes Audrey Hepburn

And Steinbeck

Saves different versions of the same song to his mp3. “The Less I Know The Better but you’re crying in a bathroom” “The Less I Know The Better Slowed & Reverb Listen With Headphones” “The Less I Know The Better Nightcore”

Shares playlists with Eddie

ALWAYS. ALWAYS waits for the person who’s tying their shoes

He notices if someone is walking behind the group alone and walks back to accompany them

If no one laughs at your joke, he does

Bleached his hair once and regretted it immediately Writes poetry in his free time and makes Stan proofread it

Into psychology

Hands always in pockets

Probably owned lots of lego sets as a kid

People go to him for dating advice because he is seen as this “romantic guy”, I mean he is but he gives terrible dating advice

4-Stan

He likes geography

Literally knows all the flags in the world and all the capitals

Blindfold him and give him a country name, he can show you exactly where it is on the map

Also he plays those google earth games where you get a random location and try to find out which country you’re in/ or try to find the nearest airport

Also I feel like he’d like planes a lot

Idk he just likes things that fly lol. Birds, planes etc.

Likes to read classics

LOVES H. P. Lovecraft

carries little poetry books with him everywhere and reads them he’s so cute

Dark academia is his aesthetic

Can play the piano

Likes to read Ben’s poetry :D

Dark humor

His ringtone is Le Festin :)

Has an instagram account but never posts, just watches people’s stories

Very photogenic tho.

He’s a man of culture. He likes visiting aquariums and museums

Hates zoos tho, thinks it’s evil to cage animals

Also I don’t know how to explain it but… He just likes to decorate his place? Like to the clubhouse he’ll bring stuff he likes and just quietly claims a corner as his own and make it as comfortable as he can

Has...beautiful hands

you know how some people cut the cothing labels because it irritates the back of their neck? Stan does that with everything he buys

5- Eddie

Likes Backstreet Boys because of Ben

Replies to texts immediately. Communication and social interaction gives him serotonin

I have no idea why but I feel like he’d have an obsession with Tekken and his favourite character is Ling Xiayou

Big fan of classic playstation games. Loves Spyro, Crash Bandicoot and Ratchet and Clank

He likes wearing long sleeves under t shirts

Listens to emo music, stares out the window and imagines scenarios matching the song he’s listening to

He considers MCR to be emo btw. Loves G note memes

Likes astrology

Can’t watch horror movies, and gets teased by Richie about it

However he likes media that is presented as funky/funny/happy but is actually depressing/disturbing

He likes courtroom dramas

Wears sunglasses indoors for no reason

Probably likes fallout and metro games

Has a collection of finger skateboards

#weirdcore #oddcore #nostalgia #grunge

buys and wears random college sweatshirts

Hates and loves study groups, hates it in the sense that he can’t focus on anything and just wants to hang out and talk, loves it in the sense that he CAN hang out with his friends and talk

Romanticizes everything

6- Bill

Has lots of taurus energy and is sleepy all the time

Has major Leonardo DiCaprio in The Basketball Diaries vibes

Dresses effortlessly

And likes basketball lol.

He just has… boy energy. If that makes sense. Boy next door

Likes to draw his friends

posts his drawings on Instagram

Has lots of OC’s but doesn’t know they’re called OC’s, just refers to them as “this character I created”

He likes being praised a lot ngl

His taste in memes is very similar to Richie’s

You know how they put a random word on top of a random image and it doesn’t make sense at all. He laughs at things like that. Like Richie sends him something like this:

ME WHEN I WHEN

[image of monkey]

BOTTOM TEXT

and he thinks it’s funny and loses his shit im sorry

Like someone sends a picture of Keanu Reeves to the groupchat and texts “g” and he thinks it’s funny???? He sees a picture of a cow in the backrooms and starts choking

He memorized every line in Boneless Pizza and can quote it wihtout stuttering. Like he would be sitting alone talking to himself saying shit like “ya pizza. Watchu want. 2 liter machine broke we got one liter tho. fuck you mean B.”

Never answers calls? Doesn’t like talking on the phone. He just has “Don’t fucking call me when you can text!!” energy

phone is always on silent mode

doesn’t do anything but attracts people anyway

7- Bev

Likes musicals

Theatre kid

Chews gum a lot

And swallows them :(

Likes cottagecore

Buys notebooks with cute covers but can never fill them so she just gives them to bill who turns them into sketchbooks

I think she’d give advice or reaussure people in a way that sounds kinda rude but isn’t really? Like she tells it like it is. Blunt

Likes Avatar The Last Airbender

Sense of humor is:

[Picutre of the fox from Zootopia]

why is he hot help 😭😭😭

wears baggy clothing + long skirts

[elsisselene]

omg thank you for remembering my existence! @mothmonologue

1. Are you named after anyone?

Joan of Arc, presumably? My dad picked a British name and an Eastern European name and mushed them together, followed by a Sanskrit surname

2. When was the last time you cried?

Within the last 48h I’m pretty sure, going through a tough move on from a long distance situationship/imaginationship

3. Do you have kids?

Nah. Not done with my Bachelor’s yet.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Only with friends whom I’ve seen using it.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I “read” people but at the same time I’m bad at it. Like usually I can notice microscopic details and build a hypothesis surrounding the way they think and any possible past experiences/traumas or sometimes just constructing the way this person thinks (without ever being able to think in such model) depending on in what setting I meet the person, which consequently give me different kinds of data.

6. What’s your eye color?

Deep, deep, characterless brown.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I hate watching movies they are emotionally and mentally burdensome to me.

8. Any special talents?

I think I have one............. Have been out of tune with myself for so long I actually forget what it is.

9. Where were you born?

Jakarta

10. What are your hobbies?

...Sporadic. Also what is the definition of a hobby, if any. My interests (read: hyperfixations) keep switching between stuff and when I’m overwhelmed with uni workload I don’t seem to have any. But notable ones include fountain pens and embroidery (which also happen to be the hobbies I recently did something in)

11. Any pets?

2 turtles, a tank of fish, a cat.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I barely move... but I did PE at school so all the standards (basketball, badminton, soccer, gymnastics, etc) I have played, technically. But personally, I love ice skating and if I had the chance it mightve been something I pursue. I like water, so swimming is a yes. I do yoga lately, hoping to find a trauma-informed yoga as an instructor honestly but my parents are against yoga so it’s gonna be a hard game of hide and seek.

13. How tall are you?

150 cm. might be 151 or 153 but I forgot.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Everything in school was meh to me. People would expect it to be biology since I did biology olympiads but in reality I feel meh towards all. I for sure hate all social subjects and entrepreneurshp has a special portion of hate from me. Oh actually science used to be my fav in elementary before it got split into phy bio chem...... I like art actually, if only it wasn’t so time consuming and deemed so worthless of putting effort in by my parents.

15. Dream job?

Honestly questioning this. Currently pursuing Biomedicine, but I’m obsessed with healing my mental health and childhood trauma. During the times I am so sick of tumor biology (my specialization) I think of neuroscience, but neuroscience is also sometimes so nauseating and in those times I usually stare at pottery contents on Instagram... wondering whether I really want to be a potter. Linguistics,,,, but I do wonder if that only arised due to learning Hungarian for a crush of mine... But also considering how good my brains at generating stories and how I can dramaticize any events in real time into a movie in my head in real time, and how I’m quite trainable in music, and taking into account the conserved imagination at the back of my head, maybe a musical theatre actress. But when I’m really loving the biomedicine I do I believe that my destiny is a science communicator. Idk man. Potter kinda wins rn. I have so many ideas for pottery pieces

15 mutualss............. excuse me for tagging yall..

@blekholebrein @500-internal-server-error @iseutz @trenchcoatmimic @tenaciouswaste @taurusz @a-sack-of-wet-mice @crunchity-munchity @thatspectacularpigeon @kokoro-beat @lavender-milk-with-honey @suffer-my-beloved-mutuals​ @kyliekaebae @flickeringnebula @1m-trash 

15 Questions and 15 Mutuals

Tagged by @rose-in-the-snow lesgooooooo

1. Are you named after anyone? Middle name is in honor of Mama Mary.

2. When was the last time you cried? Earlier today because my 21 month old fell asleep the way he used to and I covered him with his baby blanket and he's so much bigger now and he's just gonna keep getting bigger don't TOUCH me-

3. Do you have kids? At least three.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I don't actually know. I'm very deadpan? I use sarcasm in jokes sometimes? Somebody put a monitor on me to count on average how many times in a day I use sarcasm.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people? Their MOOD.

6. What's your eye color? Blue. If I elaborate on any other colors in my irises after saying blue, somebody from another corner of tumblr will smell it and come kill me on sight.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Initriguing-but-not-quite-disturbing-but-not-exactly-comforting-either movies with a devastatingly painful ending that somehow still demands a tone of hopefulness.

8. Any special talents? I don't think I'm particularly great at anything. I'm okay with this. Keeps my pride in check. *fantasizes about being Extremely Good At Something and being Recognized For It constantly throughout the day* *which is unhealthy*

9. Where were you born? I was not born. I apparated one day at the age of seventeen. Anything that happened before then was lost in the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

10. What are your hobbies? Listen to me. Listen. I am a full-time single mother barely keeping the house functional. I haven't had a hobby in a hundred thousand centuries. I'd play video games if I had the time and money but those are two things that never seem to exist in excess in my corner of the world. I used to write music and poetry and that is maybe a monthly activity at this point. I read and wrote about philosophy. Now I just make low-fidelity short-form videos because that's all I have time for.

11. Have you any pets? Not presently, but thinking about getting a pair of dogs!

12. What sports do you play/have you played? Used to be really into rhythmic gymnastics and aerial (hoop and silks.) I don't quite have the skills I used to have in that department, so now I'm more of a fan of outdoor rock climbing and swimming in lakes/the ocean. Recently, I've been REALLY into the IDEA of figure skating, but have never actually worn skates in my life.

13. How tall are you? 147 cm

14. Favorite subject in school? Latin. Naturally, as a Catholic.

15. Dream job? At this point, I just want to be a full-time stay-at-home mother who has a large garden with food that I take to the farmer's market and other than that I'm just a homemaker. I have a few (very different) ideas of what I would want to do in different perfect worlds, but lately I'm trying to stop focusing on chasing MY dreams, and start focusing on what God wants me to be doing right now. Whatever that may be.

Tagging: I DON'T EVEN THINK I HAVE FIFTEEN MUTUALS HOLD ON LET ME LOOK @intothelionsden @zel-duhhh @semercury @americanette @zelda-obsessed @soldier-poet-king @paintingspyspy @corvusherpestidae @curly-cottage-girl @dumbassmcblyat @cygnascrimbles @i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky @mothmonologue @the-oddest-inkling @rubyintheskywithdiamonds

[ifeelallwrite]

Let’s talk about Hospital Playlist. (KDRAMA REVIEW)

note: does contain spoilers

When people ask me what is my favorite Korean drama of all time, with no doubt, IT’S HOSPITAL PLAYLIST. This drama has the comic relief, the emotional scenes, realistic characters-just to name a few. No toxic relationships and petty revenge fights. Nothing else will stop me for saying that this is the ultimate feel good drama.

SYNOPSIS: The drama shows insights into the daily lives of doctors and nurses working at Yulje Medical Hospital. It focuses on 5 doctors who have been friends since medical school, who also play together as a band.

This drama encompasses so many elements and characters so bear with me yo this might be real long 

Hospital Playlist is produced/written by the Shin-Lee PD and writer pairing, whose previous works were the renowned Reply trilogy and Prison Playbook (which are *chef’s kiss*) I really like that all their dramas really highlight humanism, and puts emphasis on creating a heartwarming and realistic series. There isn’t always a major conflict to be resolved, but instead it showcases how different people-in this case mostly those in the medical field-go on about their daily lives.  I also liked their reasoning to produce a medical drama which was that hospitals were where the most dramatic moments occurred, for example during births, deaths or sickness. And since we are still in the Covid-19 pandemic, it ties in greatly to be paying homage to all the medical personnel saving lives. Hence, props to those who were involved in this meaningful masterpiece <3

The drama is not the usual 16 episodes, but has 12 episodes for each season (SEASON 2 IS COMING SOON YAAS) Good thing is I felt that they were still able to weave a dynamic storyline in the first season even with lesser episodes. The writing was just top-notch with the witty humor bits. Additionally, the music is AMAZING. I love the concept of the main characters being a band and playing different songs every episode too.

Okay, now onto the characters. I thought that every character in this drama was well rounded. Starting of with the main five characters, also known as The 99ers, whose distinctive personalities and natural chemistry make all of them extremely likeable. All main characters are professors of different specialties, and I find the male OB-GYN (Seokhyeong) and female neurosurgeon (Songhwa) very refreshing. Also, I like Shin-Lee dramas always have characters that might be realistic yet hardly seen in other dramas or films. For example, Professor Ahn Jeongwon. Despite being a chaebol (inheritor/heir), he isn’t depicted as a spoilt brat or a cold character, instead as a warm Pediatric doctor who uses his wealth to secretly support patients in need. However it makes him stingy to his friends LOL

To be honest, I really thought I was gonna dislike Junwan due to his cold and tsundere nature. I pretty much believed that he was going to be the party pooper type of the bunch, but with the writer being a master of character development, he turned out to be really sincere and hilarious at times. Same for Ikjun, who apart from his enthusiastic and happy go lucky exterior, cares the most about the people around him. Although Seokhyeong seemed detached and introverted, he shows a emotional side to his friends as well as his mother. Songhwa is literally a girlboss though haha she’s smart, capable and gets along with everyone well. And she’s the most sane out of the bunch. 

With all the main characters, we have the relationships. Junwan is the first to date seriously with Iksun (the dog or Micky? jkjk) who is Ikjun’s sister. When it first happened I was like not again Jung Kyung Ho (bc he dated his best friend’s sis in prison playbook too LMAO) I think their relationship was realistic and open. It also showed a more sensitive side to Junwan who would do anything for her. I especially liked how he said he didn’t need access to her phone because he trusted her. Yet as all couples do, they have their fair share of ups and downs. Like conflicts on getting married and a long distance relationship as Iksun moves overseas for graduate studies. I don’t really know how to take the ambiguous ending for these two, as Junwan receives the returned box (that has the ring he sent) I really hope nothing bad happens to these two though.

I’m sure we all love Wintergarden couple though, tbh they’re kinda my OTP at the moment 🤣 It was pretty much a ‘will they won’t they’ relationship with a relatively slow build. I think Gyeoul turned out to be one of my favourite characters. Shin Hyun Been did a good job at portraying her as a straightforward but innocent Resident, who is pretty much openly crushing on Jeongwon. The scenes they had together were adorably awkward (and the scene where he gives her chocopies omg) And when Jeongwon battles his inner conflict to become a priest, the final decision where they kiss was beautifully shot, with the actors both showcasing their emotions extremely well. 

Then we have Chihong who pursues Songhwa, his professor. Midway through the drama, it is also shown that Ikjun and Songhwa might have had romantic feelings for each other. Songhwa ends up rejecting Chihong’s confession. In my opinion, Chihong was quite a interesting character but I didn’t really like him at the end. (I like the actor though) He did a real jerk move during drinking games, insisting on Ikjun to confess his feelings towards her even though he is already trying not to put Songhwa in an awkward spot. Although his character did end up making a cool exit and when I thought about his incredible story of soldier to doctor, I kinda regret disliking him that much. As for IkSong, In the final episode Ikjun confesses to her one last time, and we are left waiting for Songhwa’s reply. As much as I love this pairing, I don’t think that the ship will sail or maybe not as quickly as we think. I believe Songhwa would meticulously consider the sacrifices to their friendship or other aspects and might not be able to bring herself to it, but I hope it’s otherwise. 

Lastly not forgetting Seokhyeong and Minha, another Professor+resident pairing. This one’s a bit ambiguous though, mainly because there hasn’t been much romantic development. To me, the most impactful scene came from Minha who had been irritated by continuous night shifts and was on the verge of a breakdown. She ended up remarkably saving a patient, starting off surgery on her own for the first time. Oh man Minha was such a lovable character, I remember feeling so bad for her but extremely proud of her for her accomplishment. Although Seokhyeong seemed a bit aloof and distant (which was intentional bc he’s an introvert) I think the backstory and all the hardships he faced with his family really made me feel for him. I hate to break it to you, but I’m not so sure if the ship will sail because of the phone call from his ex-wife and Minha’s somewhat rejected confession. But who knows, they might pull off a twist 👀

Apart from all these characters, there are more characters HHAHAH However, I think this is the killing point of ShinLee dramas. Unlike typical dramas which usually focuses on a main character and 2-3 side characters, they like to cast a diverse range of actors (especially those from theatre/musicals and lesser known drama/movie actors) while actually give their characters personality or a reason to be there. I’ve seen many dramas where extras or side characters were kind of irrelevant thus making me feel that they weren’t needed to build the storyline, yet ShinLee dramas hit different y’all. Every role, no matter how small, holds significance to the drama. It really seemed like a collaborative work that shows off every actors skills (and not forgetting staffs) and teamwork.

Anyways because there are way too many characters and too many scenes for me to mention them all, I’ll just talk about some honourable mentions heheh

1. Sunbin and Seokmin confession scene (ahh so cute)

I kinda sensed that they liked each other at the start but I didn’t know Seokmin would ask her out on a date at the end. Even though it’s kinda awkward that they are dating and working with each other though (both are in the same department) but hey the confession was cute and awkward and just warm and fuzzy 🥰

2. MAMA ROSA IS THE QUEENN

I think we all (would) love Mama Rosa because she’s a real one ☝️ (probably the coolest mother ever) She’s feisty, hilarious and kind to others. Plus her friendship with Ju Jong Su was just adorable and super wholesome. The scenes where they were supporting one another through tough times and hanging out with each other when they felt lonely always put a smile on my face. Oh and how Mama Rosa treated Gyeoul was extremely sweet. (as well as Seokhyeong’s mother) Despite her tough exterior, she’s a likeable character for being a strong but caring woman.

3. Just Do Jae Hak

I seriously love this guy so muchhh omg he’s so funny

Do Jae Hak has a funny amd clumsy personality, though it’s clear he’s been through a lot and is strong willed person. From admitting his indecisiveness to counselling Jun Wan on his love issues, there’s literally nothing to hate about him.

4. Uju and his dadd

The father and son chemistry between these two is so good omg. The scenes with these two are so adorable and heartwarming (not to mention hilarious) It’s amazing to see how Ikjun cares so much for Uju despite his hectic workdays while going through infidelity issues with his ex-wife. Uju is matured for his age and shows his love and appreciation for his dad too, making their interaction a great portrayal of a healthy family relationship💞

5. the food stealing the show🥘

Who doesn’t love food and when a show has great food scenes? Some of the best scenes are definitely when the 99s gather to eat. It really showcases each character’s personality with the tiniest details as well as highlight warm delicious meals. Just don’t watch this when you’re hungry at 2am in the morning guys you’ll be drooling all over your screens HAHAHA

Of course there are way more aspects, like Hongdo and Yoonbok, Ikjun and Iksun’s pigeon jokes and raps, or Jeongwon drunk crying in the chicken shop with his brother (who was his coach in Reply 1994 when he played Chilbong LOL)

Most importantly, I think it is the themes and messages that you get from the drama that really create such a lasting impression. Not only does it hit you in the feels with the hardships of hospital patients, or the hardworking doctors+nurses who are working long shifts saving lives, it also tackles topics of friendships through the possibilities of platonic and friends-to-lovers relationships. However I think the biggest lesson for me came from Seokhyeong, who learns to live his life doing what he want, with the people he treasures. Although the drama might seem slow at times (mainly because there isn’t really a main plot line/conflict occurring), but this drama would still bring you on a journey where you would laugh, cry and finish the series, begging for season 2 ✌🏻

[anxiouslyfred]

Piano Time

For @dukexietyweek‘s prompt Music

Summary: Virgil struggled to stop yelling to be heard when he was first accepted and now he can see Remus going through the same thing. Perhaps sharing his method to find some quiet time will help.

Warnings: I don’t think there are any, let me know if I need to add something.

/\/\

Fighting to get heard and the focus on you was exhausting. Virgil had hated the days when just getting Thomas to consider the consequences of his actions was a battle against Patton, Logan and Roman. Those were the weeks when he finally realised what Janus meant when he claimed that not everything had to be a rock concert, although Jazz was just as bad for getting attention and energy when it was well done.

Not that he could actually admit that. The known sides would have been beyond suspicious if Virgil had stopped yelling with anything less than the acceptance arc he was put through and going back to Janus after everything? Well that wasn't something he was willing to do.

Instead Janus came to him and seemed to cause more breakdowns in his attempts to get accepted than any side had thought possible. Thomas really struggled with realigning his self-image to include the capacity to lie or trick overs purely for his own gains occasionally. Remus coming up front was probably just one more thing that Thomas felt like he had to acknowledge if he was going to accept being selfish sometimes.

Except now Virgil was watching another side go through the same exhaustion he'd had to suppress and hide for months before his attempt to duck out. Remus wasn't being given a chance to just slow down or stop yelling when with the other sides and Virgil started to wonder how much of the grins were Remus's version of flinching.

While going through it alone Virgil had relied on his headphones, on slow songs, almost meditative music, to soothe the screams for silence that ran through his mind. He hadn't truly cared if someone found out, but getting Remus to pause and slow down meant he probably should.

After all, how to you get the frantic energy of pure honesty and creativity combined to listen to peaceful piano tunes, than by acting like it's a dirty secret you'd get scorned if it was discovered? Plenty of other things Virgil had actually done everything he could to hide had been discovered by Remus for just that reason and now it was going to work to help.

/VR\

Coming into his room after a week of being suspicious of anyone getting too close to him when wearing headphones on, Virgil finally breathed a sigh of relief to see Remus messing about with them.

“What's so bad about classical music, Tarantuling?” The question just got him grinning, climbing onto the bed beside Remus.

Only once there did he take the headphones back, momentarily checking the track playing to play it from his speakers instead. “Nothing, but how else to get you to take a break from screaming and listen to something quieter for a bit?”

“An invitation would work. Could've used a ribbon round a fly to get me here.” Remus shrugged, easily moving into the touch of Virgil leaning against him.

Virgil snorted, shaking his head already. “Might've got you here, but here and willing to just let the piano play without searching for something to remind me that you're the big powerful Duke full of gross or horrifying nightmares that Thomas could be sharing with his friends. Yeah, I know what it's like to be unable to stop yelling for attention and you wouldn't have paused just cause I wanted you here.”

“You think this music helps? Sounds like some hokey logical nonsense.” Remus scoffed, shoving carelessly at the phone, not enough to knock it off the bed though.

“Either it does, or being beside me makes you stop frantically searching for the next thing to get attention using. Gives us a break from the others either way.” He didn't get a response to that point, just an arm around his shoulders and a smile.

/RV\

It was Remus who next got them to listen to slow music together.

He didn't do an invitation either, just grabbed Virgil halfway through a lecture from Logan about the importance of consistent video posting. “That's great, I think Roman's in the imagination's theatre if you want to talk about more unrealistic goals, but Virgil and I had better be going to battle with the marshmallow man.”

Virgil snickered at the stunned look he got for just letting himself be thrown of Remus's shoulder and carried away without a fight. They'd both been getting louder recently though, trying to make sure their voices were heard and at a minimum considered among the tumult of the other sides.

“Piano time?” He asked once they were in Remus's room, getting a rapid nod that shook through Remus and the bed he'd put them both on.

Remus hadn't questioned or even tried to challenge if it was cuddling or the calmer music that had helped him relax from the clammer for attention. He just new the 2 combined had helped and was going to take advantage unless Virgil tried to fight it.

Being pulled down and against Virgil's chest showed that wasn't going to happen though and all too soon they had the music playing too.

/VR\

“You know you can just say you have a date to get to, no need to kidnap each other when you want to disappear off with Remus.” Roman commented, a month or more after the first time Virgil and Remus sat listening to music together.

They'd started dragging each other to calm down a lot recently, realising that together they could get each other heard more without screaming or drastic suggestions but still wanting the time to be quiet in their lives.

Virgil just blinked at him for a moment, before poking the shoulder he wasn't currently thrown over. Remus had frozen at the words too, and with a twist to see his expression it seemed like he hadn't realised they were basically dating yet either.

“Well this was just us trying to escape to calm down without needing attention for a bit, but you're right. It sounds a lot more fun to say I get kidnapped for dates than anything else.” He turned back to Roman, unsurprised when he was suddenly bouncing in the hold, although the switch to being in a bridal carry was a bit bizarre.

“I don't carry loved ones like sacks of meat. Come on, fallen angel, we've got a concert to listen to.” Remus twitched his moustache with a grin. No plans changed, just the name they gave to their relationship, and they were soon shut up in Virgil's room with music washing over them.

[vanillann]

the 1994 battle of the performers (luke patterson x f.reader)

i might make this a series if yall are interested!! i would write the rest in the readers p.o.v. this would just be a prologue, lmk!!

word count: 2.9k

the 1994 battle of the performers masterlist

Prologue

“Look what I found on the bulletin board!”

Alex looked around his locker, Luke's smiling face next to a piece of paper held tightly in his grip. He closed his locker and pulled the paper out of Luke’s hands, reading over the word.

Battle of the Performers

December 12th, 1994

The Charles Theatre

“What’s this?”

“This, my friend, is our first live gig,” Luke tapped the top of the page.

“A gig?”

Alex and Luke looked up once they heard Reggie’s voice sound from beside them.

“Yep, it's local but it’s something.”

Luke was over the moon about the plan, I mean come on a gig, that’s all that matters, to say the least.

“Perfect timing, my vintage leather jacket just came in,” Reggie nodded his head, just as happy about the news of the gig.

“Hey,” Bobby came up behind Alex, giving him a small pat on the shoulder and waving at the other guys. He looked over Alex's shoulder, reading over the words just as Alex did seconds ago.

“Are we gonna enter?”

“Yes,” Luke was fast to answer, bouncing on his toes at the idea of finally sharing their music with the world. Alex was about to open his mouth to say something about the paper but the sound of the hall going quite caught his attention.

(Y/N) (L/N) held her bag close to her shoulder, smiling at a few people that passed. The once confident girl seemed out of her element as she made her way to her locker.

“I didn’t know she was out of physical therapy yet?” Bobby muttered quietly to the rest of the group. Their eyes trained on the girl as she smiled when others did and accept the sad apologies.

“Did you hear they kicked her from the dance team?” Reggie spoke, overhearing the conversation from his history class yesterday.

Each boy in Sunset Curve felt horrible for the dancer, after the incident with her ACL and her long recovery. They all had just as much of a dream as she did and they’d be wrecked if they lost it all.

As the girl made it closer to the group Luke adjusted himself in front of her, giving a sympathetic smile.

“Hey (Y/N),” his voice was soft, looking around the halls at all the people that watched the two. A quick glare and half the heads in the hall were back to their original conversation.

“Patterson?”

“Just wanted to apologize, you know-”

“It’s fine, wasn’t anyone's fault,” his heart was ripping out as the girl passed him and moved around him. Her head hung low and broken and she opened her locker and rummaged through it. Luke said nothing, moving back with his little group as his eyes watched her a little longer before turning back.

“So the gig?”

“We can’t enter,” Alex closed his own locker, moving the paper for Luke’s eyes. He pointed to the requirements that were printed at the bottom of the page.

MUST HAVE A DANCE NUMBER WITH LIVE PERFORMANCE

“What,” Luke ripped the paper, holding it between his fingers as he read over the words while Bobby helped guide him throughout the halls.

“They can’t do this!”

“They can, it’s their battle,” Alex commented, giving his friend a sympathetic smile. He could tell how excited he was about the idea of a gig, just for it to be ruined by their underprepared band.

Luke sighed, waving Reggie and Bobby bye and they made their way to English and Luke and Alex had Gym.

“This is trash,” Luke pouted as he made his way into the locker room, Alex luckily paying attention to the both of them and held Luke’s gym bag in his hand.

“We’ll find a different gig,” Alex clapped his friends on the shoulder, finding a stall and quickly dipping in before someone else found it. Luke didn’t care enough in the moment to find his own, easily taking off his “school approved” shirt his mother made him wear into his muscle tee.

“Yeah, but this one would’ve shown all of our parents, mine and yours, maybe even Reggie’s,” Luke’s shoulders dropped at that fact. He just wanted Reggie's parents to stop fighting all the time, Alex’s parents get over their old age ways, and his own parents to just understand it’s going to work.

Alex frowned at the thought, knowing everyone had their own reason past the love for music and why they needed a gig.

“She’ll never make it back on the dance team, they’ll have to have try-outs,” a group of “shit-heads” as Bobby would call them came into the locker room. Alex and Luke knew they were talking about (Y/N), which pissed them off and how funny they found the poor girl's pain.

But something else was rattling in Luke’s brain.

Try-outs.

“Alex,” Luke’s infectious smile was back as he grabbed the top of the stall Alex was in, pushing himself up and holding himself there as he watched his friend with a goofy laugh.Alex fell backwards, looking up at Luke with his gym shorts barely on all the way.

“We hold try-outs for the dancers, get our own dance team.”

Alex shook his head, standing back up and pulling the pants up all the way while looking up at his friend.

“We don’t know anything about dance, plus who would try-out for our band,” Alex opened the door of the stall, Luke still keeping his grip and the door swung back.

“The dance team is super picky, anyone not on it will take any opportunity they can get,” Luke jumped down, finally moving to his bag to change into his own gym shorts.

“I don’t know Luke.”

It wasn’t the wrose plan, Alex could agree on that but realistically it would be hard and while they did have time with it being September and all it wasn’t going to be easy to make the whole thing come to life.

Sunset Curve’s music at the moment was good for head bumping but a serious dance routine would take some work from everyone.

“Let’s ask Reggie and Bobby before we decide?”

Alex watched Luke bite his lip and give his best puppy dog eyes.

“I can work with that.”

“I dig it,” Reggie gave a goofy smile and bit into the apple that he was just attempting to juggle seconds ago. Luke jumped in his seat, smiling widely as 1/2 of the group had said they liked the idea.

“What inspired this idea?” Bobby asked, shrugging as he stole a chip from Alex bag, which caused Alex to roll his eyes.

Luke simply turned around, doing his best to hide the fact he was watching (Y/N) as she looked to be in a heated discussion with the dance team captain, Megan Ray, who looked broken about the discussion but standing her ground.

“Someone mentioned they’d have to replace her with try-outs in the locker room,” Luke muttered, watching as the girl jabbed her finger into the table. most likely trying to make her way back on the team.

“I feel so bad for her,” Bobby muttered, trying to imagine a world where he couldn’t rock out with his friends because of a freak accident.

“Me too, she’s really smart too. Basically saved me in Chemistry last year,” Reggie looked away from the girl, someone he’d considered a good person hurting so bad for something no one could fix.

Once the girl stood up from the chair, trying her best not to draw too many eyes, was when Luke went back to the plan.

“It’ll work like a dream,” Luke muttered, already pulling a piece of paper out with his chick scratch and a sad worked out calendar.

“How do you read that?”

Luke stood up and smacked Alex with the paper, easily going back to the plan.

“I talked to Coach Edison and he said the Gym is free this Friday, plenty of time to get the word out,” Luke smiled at the easily done, but still done, the research he had done.

“What will we make them dance to?”

“Now or Never,” Luke spoke with a shrug.

“Sounds well thought out,” Reggie spoke absentmindedly, trying to remember a thought he just had but lost.

“Come on, we gotta show everyone who doubts us we mean something.”

Luke didn’t know if it was that sentence that struck a chord with them but they all seemed to slowly feed into Luke’s words more after that.

“Peter?”

Reggie turned at the call of his last name, smiling once he saw (Y/N) standing behind him at the table.

“(Y/N)!”

Reggie's smile was contagious as he smiled up at the girl, doing his best to avoid talking about the leg injury, he knew if something happened to his finger and he couldn’t play bass again he wouldn’t want to talk about it.

“Do you have the notes of Henderson’s class? He’s making me take all the quizzes I missed this Friday after school,” she muttered, nodding her head to the other boys as they watched her.

“That sucks, I can give them to you last period.” She gave a quick smile as a thank you, smiling to the other boys before heading back to the table she sat at before with a few other girls they had seen her around the halls with.

“Can’t believe Henderson would be that harsh,” Bobby shivered as if scared at the thought of taking that many quizzes in one sitting.

“He hates anyone who doesn’t do classic field, probably blames her for the fall,” Reggie muttered, finally making it to the core of his apple.

“What! It wasn’t her fault,” Luke jumped in, trying his best to keep his voice down.

“We don’t think that, now chill,” Alex waved at the few girls that had looked their way at the outburst.

Once everything died down, Alex and Bobby both nodded to one another, then looking at Luke.

“This Friday it is.”

“This is going horrible,” Reggie whispered to Luke at the girl before they tried to dramatically do a split but ending up awkwardly crawling on the floor.

“Thank you Sara, we’ll get back with you,” Luke spoke as soon as the music stopped, reaching over to press stop on the crappy camera they found deep in Bobby’s studios yesterday.

Luke’s finger slipped and he was too worked up to try and find the button so he simply left the camera one, waving as Sara skipped out from the gym.

“We’ll at least she didn’t puke,” Bobby muttered, still in shock and how easily the one boy had his entire lunch on the gym floor.

“That was a nice touch.”

Luke stood up, slowly walking around the table to stand in front of his other friends.

“This is going horribly! Where are the dancers in this place?”

“Probably on the dance team,” Alex spoke up, smiling sarcastically at Luke.

“How about we go to the vending machine,” Reggie jumped up, easily diffusing the tension from the room as the rest agreed a snack would be nice.

They all made their way from the room, all talking about the different dancers and who they thought might be best.

“Maddie was good, but she couldn’t choreograph an entire team,” Bobby waited as Reggie looked over the different options in the machine.

“I didn’t even think about that,” Luke sighed, slowly becoming more and more annoyed with this whole idea.

“Look-”

Alex was cut off when he heard the faint sound of guitar and drums echoing the halls of the old sad school.

“Does anyone else hear that?”

“What? Reggie’s head turning as he chose between M&M or Hershey's,” Luke felt back, laying on one of the tables in the cafeteria.

“Hey!”

Alex rolled his eyes, following the sound of the music, hearing his own beat and Luke’s voice sing from the gymnasium. He walked slowly, stopping at the double door, looking through the tempered glass at the figure in the room. He heard his friends run from the gym, meeting his side as they all looked in the gym at the same sight.

(Y/N) glided across the floor, her hands held on both sides of her head as she easily slid across the floor in her sweat pants. She moved from that to a split, easily jumping up from that and doing small little kicks to the beat of the music.

“Wow,” Luke watched as the girl threw her head back, eyes closed as she took in the music that the boys knew by heart at this point.

She clapped along with the music, looking as alive with the music as the boys did when they played. Once the beat dropped the girl attempted to spin out, catching her leg the wrong way sending her to the floor.

“Oh no,” Reggie and Alex didn’t waste any time before pushing the double doors open and running to the groaning girls side. Luke and Bobby were hot on their trail, sliding as they all huddled around her.

“Are- are you okay?”

She sat up slightly, holding her knee to her chest with her face showing obviously pain.

“I’m fine- Uhm, does anyone have water?”

Luke didn’t waste time reaching to the “judge” table and taking his own water from the table. He turned back and handed it to her, looking at her with panic in his eye.

“Thank you,” she let out a shaky breath, letting herself calm down while twisting the cap open.

“You really are an amazing dancer,” Bobby commented, thinking now the panic was gone would be a nice time to mention it.

“I was,” she spoke as she looked to her feet, watching her beat up tennis shoes with a clenched jaw.

“Uhm actually he means present tense,” Luke laughed, like the situation was funny. I mean he just watched her glide and smile all with her eyes closed.

She wasn’t even scared of being bad, she knew she was that good.

“Did you miss the fall?”

He knew the attitude wasn’t at him, he knew she had a right to be angry about her whole world changing.

“You were great before the fall,” Reggie spoke in a soft voice, hurt about watching her without permission.

“No, I was better before.” She looked up, taking in the room when her eyes stopped on the video camera that was flashing red light.

“Is that recording?”

Luke looked at the camera, jumping up and stopping the recording. He un- screwed in from the tripod and made his way over to her.

“Watch it,” he held out the video to her but she simply pushed it away.

“No thanks, just delete it,” Luke was shocked, to say the least. She could still dance, like really dance, and she was throwing it away.

“You’re just scared,” he challenged the girl, earning a harsh “Luke” from Alex, warning him not to touch that topic with a ten-foot pole.

“You’d be scared if you went through what I went through,” she spoke hurtfully, righting to say.

Luke thought everything over, he didn’t know much about the injury but that it was a torn muscle in the knee and that was the end of it. But something that tears can technically heal, he just didn’t know how that worked exactly, he hated science class.

“She has a point,” Bobby smiled at the girl, doing his best not to say the wrong thing.

“Well, face your fear!”

“Look what happened when I did,” she motioned for someone to help her up, Reggie giving his shoulder and helping her stand slightly. Her body was obviously still in shock and she was slowly taking his arm.

“We can help you! Join us on the Battle of the Performers,” Luke knew it might come off selfish, but he really wanted to help her fight her fears face first. It must suck not doing what you love, but she had a chance so why not take it?

“Do you know how hard that is to win?” She thought it was funny to say the least. The band was good, she wouldn’t be shocked if she heard them on the radio in a few years with some famous award, but people just as new and good to the scene would come from far and wide for a chance at this competition.

Plus, if they really wanted to win they’d find a dancer who wasn’t broken.

“You’ll find someone better,” she nodded to Reggie and let her leg finally work properly again, thankful she would add.

“Nobody we’ve seen is like you!” He was so close to her face, giving his puppy dog eyes like he would with the others, always getting what he wanted then.

“I’m sorry, but no. Have fun with the scouting.”

She nodded at each boy, slowly making herself excused from the now tender room as Luke felt his dreams walk away.

“She has a right to be scared,” Alex spoke, trying his best to see both sides.

“Yeah, but she needed to punch fear like she wanted to punch the dance team captain,” Luke pouted, looking at the girl who left without another look. He was hoping she’d come back like in those horrible 80′s rom-coms Alex watched so much, but she never came back.

He held the camera in his hand, looking at the tape that sat paused. Her face looked almost scared as she stepped in the gym.

“We’ll find someone Luke,” Bobby set a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder.

“Yeah, but we could have had her.”

so, should i make this a series??