ophelialoveshandsomemen

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

Ayoo just to preempt the inevitable dumb takes we’re about to start seeing;

I am PRO-WOOL

I am PRO-LEATHER

I am PRO-BEES

Fuck the idea of replacing durable, sustainable animal products with cheap, flimsy plastic that doesn’t bio-degrade. Agave nectar and other artificial sweeteners are expensive, labor-intensive, and destroy the environment to be farmed.

Do not buy into pernicious marketing campaigns pushed by dickhead organizations trying to stay relevant, like PETA.

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

Moments where Lord M is just too damn adorable :)

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

The King's Christmas Broadcast 2024 👑🎄📺 - BBC

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

*Full Question: For people attracted to men, which part of the male body (Excluding genitals,) do you like the best?

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS! 🎄 (21/25): ↳ WHITE CHRISTMAS (1954)

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

Everyone’s going on about having a ‘traditional, old-fashioned Christmas’, but when I burst into the house covered in green paint and demand a champion strike my head from my shoulders with my own axe so that I may return the blow next year, I’m ‘scaring Grandma’.

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

every winter solstice I am consumed with thoughts of Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost...

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

i desperately want to do one of those “pick a song that’s turning 20 in 2025” polls but instead of all the songs being chosen to appeal directly to american tumblr users who had an emo phase i will take them, with bare minimum selectivity or curation, from the uk official year end charts so that everybody has to choose between shayne ward and the crazy frog song

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

THE HOT MEDIEVAL & FANTASY MEN MELEE

SECOND ROUND: 17th Tilt

Murtagh Morzansson, Eragon (2006) VS. Boromir, Son of Denethor, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Propaganda

Murtagh Morzansson, Eragon (2006) Portrayed by: Garrett Hedlund Defeated Opponents: - Geralt z Rivii [Michał Żebrowski], The Witcher {Wiedźmin} (2002) - Mordred [Jason Done], Merlin (1998)

“Murtagh was the best part of the Eragon movie, and is a poor little wet meow meow who tries so hard to be good and doesn't quite make it.”

Boromir, Son of Denethor, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003) Portrayed by: Sean Bean Defeated Opponents: - Sir Percival [Tom Hopper], Merlin (2008-2012) - Alessandro Farnese [Diarmuid Noyes], Borgia (2011-2014)

“The eldest son of Denethor, the Steward of Gondor; Boromir was a lesson that even the most honorable men could fall to the One Ring's temptation. There's nothing hotter than a tragic fallen hero.”

Additional Propaganda Under the Cut

Additional Propaganda

For Murtagh Morzansson:

For Boromir:

“I love him your honor”

“HOT ALSO HE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER”

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

Our wassail is made of the elderberry bough / And so my good neighbors we'll drink unto thou / Besides all on earth, you have apples in store / Pray let us come in for it's cold by the door...

[have put the good-quality file of this up for pay-what-you-want on ye olde ko-fi in case you want to print this out and use it for its intended purpose. send it to your grandma. send it to your friends. send it to bernard cornwell on facebook. if you want.]

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

THE HOT MEDIEVAL & FANTASY MEN MELEE

SECOND ROUND: 8th Tilt

Thorin Oakenshield, The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014) VS. King Marke of Cornwall, Tristan + Isolde (2006)

Propaganda

Thorin Oakenshield, The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014) Portrayed by: Richard Armitage Defeated Opponents: - Thierry of Janville [Jean-Claude Drouot], Thierry la Fronde (1963-1966) - King Edward IV Plantagenet [Max Irons], The White Queen (2013)

“Mr. Broody Himself. He is tortured, hot, a warrior of great renown, has no sense of direction and definitely needs a massage and a three-year nap. The complete package!”

King Marke of Cornwall, Tristan + Isolde (2006) Portrayed by: Rufus Sewell Defeated Opponents: - Leofric [Adrian Bower], The Last Kingdom (2015-2022) - Prince Prospero [Vincent Price], The Masque of the Red Death (1964)

“He was just supposed to be the borderline-villainous husband whose existence gets in the way of a great, timeless love affair... so why do I end up rooting for him more than the titular hero? Honestly, if I were Isolde, as soon as I stepped out of that carriage and saw King Marke, it would be 'Tristan who?'”

Additional Propaganda Under the Cut

Additional Propaganda

For Thorin Oakenshield:

“He worked so hard to care for his people and be there for his family and reclaim his home!!!! He’s a tragic figure! His relationship with Bilbo was fantastic and his death made me cry.”

For King Marke:

"Time for my ESSAY on how the Tristan + Isolde movie made King Marke outrageously sexy and somehow expected us to root against him. This is a man who is a valiant soldier and brilliant strategist, but what he really wants is to broker peace (sexy.) We can tell he is also a scholar and theorist, in part because he wears a Roman haircut, in this post-Roman world, to signal his allegiance to something other than internecine tribal fighting.

Moreover, the context in which we meet him is his riding to the rescue! Tristan is still a child, and terrified, in the burning wreckage of his home; his parents have been killed. Marke, arriving almost too late, blocks a killing blow with his sword arm, meaning that he loses a hand. And he still rides home with Tristan on his saddlebow. He is gray with exhaustion by the time they get there, of course, but that traumatized boy is going to have the comfort of his only living relative holding him, damn it. I'm emotional about it.

Also, this means that in a vaguely early medieval-ish Arthurian world, where the health of the king's body and the health of the land are often linked, Marke is still respected as a successful king despite having a disability. Wildly hot. Says a lot about his rulership. And he loves his nephew so tenderly. All of which is to say nothing about the man's bone structure, or the way he looks at his wife. Which. Is a lot."

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

man it sucks so many people on here have absolutely convinced themselves that entire categories of consumer goods like perfume are bougie. you are depriving yourself of little treats by just assuming you cant ever afford anything! this isnt an avocado toast post either im not saying 'just save up and buy it lol', i would never say that, what im saying is perfume (that is: scents in liquid, paste, oil or solid form intended to be worn as a personal adornment) as a commodity starts at "free" and gradually increases in price from there. my favorite perfumes are priced everywhere between $0 and $300. one of the most lauded amber scents in the world (regrettably JUST discontinued), "Amber Paste" by Kuumba Made, is one of those little hippie oils you get at Whole Foods and it cost $10.

and im not telling you to wear perfume, obviously people have allergies and shit, or just dont care for it, im talking to the people who WANT to own fragrances. im saying they aren't all going to cost $150.

you can also get unlimited (unlimited over a long enough timeline, they limit you to a couple or three per visit) free samples at a lot of sephoras and nordstroms if you live somewhere that has those stores (this depends on the location and a lot of other organic factors, you'll have to check ahead of time or just try it if you're nearby, it's sort of random). if you're actually buying something at sephora (and they have a lot of stuff that isn't a million dollars as well, despite their branding) ask for every free sample at checkout that they have. they will often load you up, and not just with perfume. secondhand outlets like Value Village and Goodwill also do huge business in perfume because people are ALWAYS donating it.

sephora also does perfume refills. if you actually do buy a full size bottle, they can refill it for much less than buying a whole new bottle of the stuff. i don't know exactly how much it costs because i havent used this service myself. and idk how careful yiou have to be about reeceipts either, but look into it if you bought a full size and its running out

idk it just bums me out there are all these people who actually want perfume and seem to think it's out of their price range. the really basement-tier dupes of popular brand scents are so good these days it's often worth dropping the $10 at Walmart or Rite Aid too.

some of my favorite ever perfumes were some weird crap i got in a crystal wizard store, or a drug store, or a goodwill, or whatever. if you want perfume you can get it

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

THE HOT MEDIEVAL & FANTASY MEN MELEE

SECOND ROUND: 8th Tilt

Thorin Oakenshield, The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014) VS. King Marke of Cornwall, Tristan + Isolde (2006)

Propaganda

Thorin Oakenshield, The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014) Portrayed by: Richard Armitage Defeated Opponents: - Thierry of Janville [Jean-Claude Drouot], Thierry la Fronde (1963-1966) - King Edward IV Plantagenet [Max Irons], The White Queen (2013)

“Mr. Broody Himself. He is tortured, hot, a warrior of great renown, has no sense of direction and definitely needs a massage and a three-year nap. The complete package!”

King Marke of Cornwall, Tristan + Isolde (2006) Portrayed by: Rufus Sewell Defeated Opponents: - Leofric [Adrian Bower], The Last Kingdom (2015-2022) - Prince Prospero [Vincent Price], The Masque of the Red Death (1964)

“He was just supposed to be the borderline-villainous husband whose existence gets in the way of a great, timeless love affair... so why do I end up rooting for him more than the titular hero? Honestly, if I were Isolde, as soon as I stepped out of that carriage and saw King Marke, it would be 'Tristan who?'”

Additional Propaganda Under the Cut

Additional Propaganda

For Thorin Oakenshield:

“He worked so hard to care for his people and be there for his family and reclaim his home!!!! He’s a tragic figure! His relationship with Bilbo was fantastic and his death made me cry.”

For King Marke:

"Time for my ESSAY on how the Tristan + Isolde movie made King Marke outrageously sexy and somehow expected us to root against him. This is a man who is a valiant soldier and brilliant strategist, but what he really wants is to broker peace (sexy.) We can tell he is also a scholar and theorist, in part because he wears a Roman haircut, in this post-Roman world, to signal his allegiance to something other than internecine tribal fighting.

Moreover, the context in which we meet him is his riding to the rescue! Tristan is still a child, and terrified, in the burning wreckage of his home; his parents have been killed. Marke, arriving almost too late, blocks a killing blow with his sword arm, meaning that he loses a hand. And he still rides home with Tristan on his saddlebow. He is gray with exhaustion by the time they get there, of course, but that traumatized boy is going to have the comfort of his only living relative holding him, damn it. I'm emotional about it.

Also, this means that in a vaguely early medieval-ish Arthurian world, where the health of the king's body and the health of the land are often linked, Marke is still respected as a successful king despite having a disability. Wildly hot. Says a lot about his rulership. And he loves his nephew so tenderly. All of which is to say nothing about the man's bone structure, or the way he looks at his wife. Which. Is a lot."