#has some CATASTROPHIC consequence for everyone else

[imakemywings]

The damage of each one of Eleanor's romances could be tallied in six-digit dollar figures and a blast radius of at least a dozen miles

[juniperskye]

Who Are You Again?

Based on the following ask: I had another plot thought! Aaron x BAU Reader (female or gender neutral) where Reader disobeys an order to save a victim and gets hurt really bad. Reader wakes up in the hospital to Aaron who is angry at first but then is shocked when it turns out that Reader has retrograde amnesia from the injury. Reader has forgotten their entire career in the BAU and even that They and Aaron were secretly dating! Last thing Reader actually remembers was attending a lecture in college where Aaron was a guest speaker and Reader developed a crush on him! Now Aaron has to carefully navigate helping Reader recover without outing their relationship to anyone else. Or maybe he wonders if it's better they forget? But for a HEA ending definitely Aaron doing something romantic sparks a memory and helps everything come flooding back. @nyxwolph thank you for requesting again and trusting me with your ideas! – I did have to change things up a bit (I struggled big time with this one)

Aaron Hotchner x BAU! Fem Reader

Angst/Fluff

Word count: 5336

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, age gap, some language, BAU canon typical violence, mention of parent death, mention of kidnapping, mention of Haley and Jack, secret relationship, let me know if I missed any!!

That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

“In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state.” Essentially, something as small as a butterfly flapping its wings could cause something as catastrophic as a tornado.  

Aaron wondered what small event happened that led to this moment right now. A moment that would change the trajectory of your lives forever.

*36 hours earlier*

“Garcia has the unsubs location; he’s headed down a backroad just east of the 95.” Aaron said.

“He’s devolving, he’s probably going to try and dispose of his latest victim.” Morgan chimed in.

“Not if we have anything to do with it.” JJ replied.

“His location is being shared with you all, everyone be safe, at this point he’s going to be willing to do anything to avoid prison.” Hotch added.

“I’m close by, I am going to go try and cut him off.” You suggested.

The team expressed their worry and care and urged you to be careful. The only thing you had on your mind, however, was saving the five-year-old boy this unsub had hidden. You drove as fast as your vehicle would allow, you had to get to the unsub. You had to save that boy.

As you got closer to the location Garcia had shared, you could see the dust trail the unsubs car was leaving down the road. You thought about your options, and you made a snap decision. Drive on, no matter the consequences – take out the unsub’s car. So that’s what you did.

You drove forward and your car t-boned the unsubs, only you hadn’t considered that he’d be driving a semi tractor. Upon impact, your SUV was crushed, in your rush to get to the unsub you’d forgotten to put on your seatbelt and your body was ejected through the windshield.

The accident was enough to stop the unsub long enough for the team to arrive. As they surveyed the scene, Aaron’s stomach dropped. He immediately began barking orders, demanding medics, and sending agents to the unsubs’ farm to find the boy.  Throughout everything he refused to leave your side.

*Present Day*

“Sir, we had to place her in a medically induced coma to allow the swelling in her brain to go down.” The doctor explained.

“Is there an estimate as to how long it’ll be until she wakes up?” Aaron asked.

“With these kinds of injuries, it’s hard to say. The brain is a tricky thing, and no two injuries are alike. We just have to wait and see.”

“Thank you.” Aaron said, shaking the doctor’s hand.

Your doctor made her exit and Aaron moved to the seat beside your bed. He gently took your hand in his own placing a kiss to the back of it before returning it to your side. Aaron had thought back to the night everything changed.

*One year earlier*

“Hey Hotch, here’s that report you asked for. You aren’t staying are you?” You asked, glancing at your watch.

“Thanks, and yeah I had a few things I needed to finish up.”

You made your way over to Aaron’s couch, dropped your bag to the floor, and shrugged your jacket off. You pulled your phone out to see what was still open for delivery in the area. Aaron and you had shared many nights like this, spending late nights together in his office. The two of you had grown very close over the years, so much so that David had outright asked Aaron if you two were dating. To which Aaron let out an awkward chuckle and denied the accusation. If only he knew.

“What are you doing? You should head home.” Aaron said.

“Well, you should too, and you aren’t, so I guess that means we’re ordering dinner.” You smiled at him.

“I love you.” Aaron said simply.

“What?” You were stunned.

“I’m sorry, that was inappropriate. I didn’t – I um….”

“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Aaron made his way over to you, gently caressed your face and kissed you. It was everything you had ever imagined. There had been this tension between the two of you over the last two years and it was all finally coming together.

After that night, Aaron and you had agreed to keep your relationship under wraps, to avoid any potential disruption to the team, but also any question as to your position on the team. Aaron didn’t want anyone to question the fact that it was your skills and resume alone that got you to where you are.

Yours and Aaron’s relationship blossomed after that night, but not without hardships. Aaron and you faced a lot of adversity in multiple aspects of your relationship; you had a hard time trusting people, Aaron had been self-conscious of your age gap, and you both couldn’t help but feel that you weren’t good enough for the other (not that either of you would bring it up).

*Present Day*

A tear fell from Aaron’s eye, he couldn’t fathom losing you. This was all part of the reason he didn’t want to get serious with someone after Haley, but then you came into his life. You’d come in and made yourself known with your kind eyes and witty charm; how could he not fall in love with you.

Aaron fell for you slowly then all at once, it came naturally, and he couldn’t help it. He knew that the team had their suspicions and honestly over the last year there had been some close calls, but you had ultimately maintained the secrecy of your relationship.

In this moment, Aaron couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt and regret over the fact that he’d asked you to keep things quiet. Had he let the team in on your relationship, he could’ve done a better job at keeping you safe.

*2 Weeks Later*

Aaron had been by your side as much as possible over the last two weeks, which is exactly where he was when you started to stir. Aaron shot straight up in his seat, his hand quickly reaching for your own.

You couldn’t help the groan that escaped your throat, your body hurt so bad, and you felt very confused. You attempted to open your eyes but immediately regretted it – the bright fluorescents adding to the pounding in your head. As you blinked through the brightness of the room, you glanced over to your bedside, noticing a tall man seated there.

“What on earth were you thinking? Driving into the unsub like that, you could’ve been killed. Your actions were reckless and unacceptable.” The man scolded you.

You couldn’t find it in you to reply, your head was pounding. You brought your hand up to your forehead and gently press the heel of your palm into it, hoping to alleviate some of the pressure.

“Sweetheart hold on, I’ll go get your doctor.” A deep voice sounded from your bedside.

Before you could question the pet name, you heard the sound of his dress shoes clicking against the linoleum floors.

The man returned with your doctor; he dimmed the lights slightly on his way back to your bedside. He moved to grab your hand again, to which you shifted, wringing your hands nervously in your lap.

“Hello, I’m doctor Raynor. How are you feeling?”

“Like I was hit by a truck, what happened?” You questioned, giving your doctor and the man a once over.

You recognized the man; it was Special Agent Hotchner of the BAU. What was he doing here? What happened?

“Well, you were involved in an accident, can you tell me what you remember?” Dr. Raynor inquired.

“I um, well, I was leaving a lecture.” Your gaze shifted to Agent Hotchner “Your lecture actually, you were talking about MO’s. I guess the accident was after that?” You couldn’t help but notice Agent Hotchner’s expression faulter.

Your doctor looked over at Agent Hotchner and he shook his head. The two of them seemingly knew something you didn’t. You couldn’t help but feel like you’d just given the wrong answer in front of the class. Dr. Raynor had gone through the rest of your injuries with you, multiple lacerations that had required stitches, a few broken ribs, a broken wrist, and of course your TBI. Once she was done she gave you a somber look.

“Would you excuse us for just a moment? I am going to send in one of your nurses to check you over and I’ll be back in just a moment.” Dr. Raynor said.

“Oh, okay.”

Dr. Raynor and Agent Hotchner left your room, and you tried your best to listen to their conversation.

*Hotch’s POV*

She doesn’t remember me, well us. It’s like the last five years have just disappeared.

“Agent Hotchner, I gather that the lecture she’s referring to did not occur two weeks ago when she was brought in.”

“No, that lecture was nearly five years ago.” I explained.

“This would be a case of retrograde amnesia, if she’s lost recent memories.” Dr. Raynor replied.

“Will her memory return?”

“It’s hard to say.”

While Aaron was completely devastated, he couldn’t help the doubt that creeped into his mind, telling him “This is for the best”.

*Normal POV*

Dr. Raynor and Agent Hotchner looked extremely serious, and you started to feel nauseous. Something was obviously wrong. You watched as their conversation ceased and they made their way back into the room.

Something must have happened, why would Agent Hotchner be here.

“Alright, it would appear that due to the brain trauma you sustained in your accident, you are experiencing what we describe as retrograde amnesia. This is when you can’t recall memories from your past. Based on your most recent memory, it appears as if you’ve lost approximately five years.” Dr. Raynor explained.

“Five years? Five years of memories are just gone. I don’t understand. If that’s true then why are you here?” You asked gesturing to Agent Hotchner.

“Well, you work for the BAU. You have for about three years now.”

“I do? I – I, this is a lot. What does this mean? Have you called my emergency contact?” You asked.

“I uh – I am your emergency contact.” Agent Hotchner spoke up.

“What, why? It has always been my mom, I don’t understand.”

“I’m so sorry, your mom, she uh – she passed last year. That’s when you switched it over to me.” Agent Hotchner’s gaze shifted down to his shoes.

“She’s gone?” Your voice cracked.

“Okay, this has been quite a bit of information. The most important thing right now is getting healthy. We want to keep you here a little longer to continue monitoring the swelling in your brain. Once we’ve confirmed it has gone down, you’ll want to get back in your usual routine, that is the best shot at getting your memory back.” Dr. Raynor gently patted your leg.

“How am I meant to get back to my normal routine when I don’t know it? The one person I had, I just found out is dead.”

“Given that Agent Hotchner is your emergency contact, we would be able to release you into his care. For now, we just need to stay positive.” With that, Dr. Raynor made her exit.

“I know this is a lot, but the BAU, we’re like a family, that includes you. Each member of the team is going to be willing to do anything to help you throughout this process.” Agent Hotchner said.

Part of you knew you could trust him; he had kind eyes, and you knew he was genuine. However, the other part of you felt so hopeless, like a lost kid in a department store. How were you meant to go home with this man who you didn’t know.

*Five Days Later*

“Do you have everything?” Aaron asked.

He had been with you every day for the last five days. He had brought you some things from your apartment and asked you to call him Aaron for now while you were “getting to know him”. You had to admit, it had been pretty nice talking with him the last few days.

“I think so!” You looked over at him. “I know that I am meant to be staying with you, at least until I’m fully healed, but could we go to my apartment first? I’d like to see it and maybe go through some of my things?”

“Of course we can.” Aaron nodded, gesturing towards the door.

The drive to your place was filled with small talk, mostly you asking Aaron questions about the BAU and the time you’ve spent there. It felt weird asking the man who is technically your boss about your personal life.

When you arrived, Aaron made sure to open your door for you and carry your bag into your home. He led you inside and you couldn’t help but notice how comfortable he seemed in your place, like he’d been there before. Like he belonged there. You shook the thought from your mind.

“I got you a new phone, it’s all set up for you.” Aaron said handing you the device.

“Thanks! Were they able to back up the old one? I was hoping to go through old texts and pictures to gather some insight into my life. God that sounds weird.” You huffed out a breath.

“I have our technical analyst Penelope Garcia working on that for you.” Aaron informed you.

“That’s great, thank you.”

The truth was, Aaron didn’t have Garcia backing up your old phone, at least not yet. He knew that if he had brought it to her she would uncover all the private texts and photos that you two had shared over the last year. He didn’t want to risk everyone finding out about your relationship, especially now when he wasn’t sure what your future would hold.

Aaron watched you as you made your way around your apartment. You wandered slowly around letting your fingers graze the spines of books on your shelves, picture frames on the walls and tchotchkes that were strewn about your desk and shelves. 

He so badly wanted to pull you into his arms, kiss your head and tell you that everything was going to be okay. He wanted you to know that he wasn’t just your boss. But he also thought about all the things that could go wrong if he told you. You could question your own ethics and fall into self-loathing with the thought that you’d potentially slept your way to the top – this was the furthest thing from the truth, but he knew you and the way your mind spiraled. He wondered if it would just be easier if he let you find yourself all on your own, to let this thing between you go and hope that maybe you’d find your way back to him again.

When he looked over to you once again, he saw that you had found a photo album. It was one he was very familiar with; Garcia had gotten it for you on your 1-year BAU anniversary and filled it halfway. Since then, you’d continue to add to it all the photos you’d taken with the team.

You hadn’t realized you were crying until a tear had fallen onto the picture you were currently examining. Your emotions were running high, looking through the album was so strange it felt like looking at a stranger and yet it was you in photo after photo looking happier than ever with these people you couldn’t remember.

You felt the couch dip beside you and Aaron gently rubbed his hand up and down your back.

“I can’t imagine how overwhelming this all must be. I know that I can’t understand but I am here for you and I’m happy to lend an ear if you want to talk about it.” Aaron quietly soothed you.

“Thank you so much Aaron. I just don’t know how to wrap my head around this being me but not remembering it. Clearly you all mean so much to me and yet I have no recollection of any of this.” You sobbed.

Aaron and you sat like that on your couch for a while. He gave you the time you needed to calm down, while holding you, whispering sweet nothings to you. You felt oddly comfortable there in his arms, your mind shifted to the thought that enjoying the way his arms felt around you was also incredibly inappropriate given that he was your boss. At that thought you shifted slightly. You thought back to why you had signed up to audit Aaron’s lecture and while the main reason was the knowledge he’d lend you, a part of you allowed his looks to give you that final push in signing up.

“I should probably grab a few things so we can head out.” You whispered.

“Do you need any help?” Aaron asked.

“I should be okay, but I’ll let you know!”

Aaron drove the two of you back to his apartment, for the time being he had asked Jessica to keep Jack, this way you could adjust, and Jack also wouldn’t out your relationship. Aaron had his guest bedroom set up for you, he’d set it up with some of your favorite things. A lavender scented candle, extra pillows, a fluffy blanket, and he made sure to set a small trinket dish on the dresser, so you’d have a place to put your jewelry.

These of course were all things Aaron had previously had at his place for you. When you two had gotten increasingly more serious, he encouraged you to leave some stuff at his place and he’d gone as far as to supply some of your favorites around his home for you.

Aaron led you into his home and you couldn’t help but glance around, really taking in your surroundings. You couldn’t help but take note of a few things as he showed you around; there was a photo missing from the side table next to the couch (you could see the tiny bit of dust that must’ve collected around it), the pantry was stocked with quite a few of your favorite snacks, there was a pink coffee mug in the cabinet, and lastly, tucked under the shoe rack near the front door were a pair of fluffy gray slippers.

You couldn’t explain why, but there was a slight pang of jealousy in you as you thought of Aaron having a girlfriend. You knew you had no right to feel that way and it would be incredibly inappropriate, but it was a gut reaction.

*One Week Later*

Aaron and you had fallen into a weird sort of routine, it started to feel a lot like the 50’s, you making dinner and cleaning while he worked. You were starting to get a bit stir crazy, which is exactly why you were so excited today. Garcia would be coming by to see you; she was bringing over a bunch of photos and videos of you with the team throughout the last three years.

It was a paperwork catch-up day for the BAU, so Aaron had given Penelope the go ahead to take a long lunch and spend some time with you. So, when a knock on the door rang through the apartment, you couldn’t help the burst of excitement that coursed its way through your veins.

“Hi Penelope!”

“Hey babe! How are you feeling?” She asked, giving you a look of concern.

“I’m feeling pretty good, you know, except for the missing five years of memories thing.”  You let out a low chuckle.

“Oh goodness! Well, I’ve brought a ton of stuff that might help bring some stuff back. I read that sense of smell is the sense that links with memories the strongest so have a bunch of things for you to smell while you look at photos in hopes something will come back to you.”

“That sounds like a great idea!” You smiled at Penelope.

The next hour or so went by with Penelope showing you photos and videos along with passing you various items to smell in hopes of bringing back some of your memories. And while it wasn’t like a wave crashing over you, bringing all your memories back, it did bring some things back. You could remember the members of the BAU and some of their quirks, you remembered the feeling of being in the bullpen (thanks to the smell of some very burnt coffee). What you were struggling to regain was your emotional memories, you couldn’t quite pinpoint the relationships you had with anyone from the team. 

“I am glad that this helped! I should probably get out of your hair though; I can tell you have headache.” Penelope

“Thank you Penelope, I really appreciate all of this!”

You led her to the door, and she reminded you to get some rest and to take it easy. She also suggested that you come by the BAU for lunch in the next week or so to see everyone. The team had been doing a good job of not overwhelming you and allowing you time to get back in the swing of things.

“Oh, Penelope before you go, did you get a chance to back up my old phone? Aaron said you were working on it.”

“Oh, hon. He must’ve forgotten to mention it, but I will get started on that right away! I’ll text you as soon as I’m done, okay? We will just be able to pull the backup and put it on your new phone!” She said pulling you into a tight hug, before making her exit.

Why would Aaron have lied to you about your old phone? Maybe Penelope was right, and it just slipped his mind, he had been dealing with a lot, taking care of you, and having you stay with him.

You hadn’t meant to snoop, honestly, but after having talked with Penelope, the feeling Aaron was hiding something from you was extremely prevalent. You decided to look around a bit, you know, while putting the laundry away. You needed to put the towels away in Aaron’s bathroom, you just happened to notice the second toothbrush in the holder, the dress hanging inside his closet (come on, the door was already open), the ring box tucked in his sock drawer, what shocked you the most were the photos in the hall closet. It was a photo of him and a tall brunette that had you spiraling, where was this woman? You had clearly been invading his space long enough and you couldn’t bear the thought of coming between him and this woman who was to be his fiancé.

You needed to get back to your life, and out of Aaron’s hair. You decided that you’d tell him that night over dinner, you were going to move back home.

“Hey, I’m home!” Aaron called.

“Hey, how was your day?” You asked.

Aaron explained that his day was good, and he asked you about your get together with Penelope as you finished up dinner. Aaron set the table as you followed behind him plating up the food.

“I’m glad to hear things went well with Penelope. I think lunch with the team is a great idea.”

“Aaron I’m gonna move back home.” The words flew out of your mouth faster than your brain could catch up. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to impose on your life any more than I already have.”

“It’s truly not an imposition, but if that’s what you want.” Aaron looked deflated.

“I just think it’s important we both get back to our usual every day.”

“If you think that’s best.”

You two ate in silence. Afterwards you both went to the kitchen, cleaned up the dishes and made your way to your separate rooms. You began packing up your belongings and Aaron scrolled through photos of the two of you from before the accident.

*Two Days Later*

“Good morning gorgeous!!! I am calling to inform you that the backup from your old phone is ready, and I also think it is the perfect day for you to come in and have lunch with everyone!” Penelope sang over the phone.

“Okay, what time should I come down there?”

“Ummm maybe around 12:30? Everyone is usually ready to eat by then. I can call and order in something too!”

“Oh, and uh Pen, I don’t know the address, and I’m not cleared to drive.” You said shyly.

“Oh shoot, okay! I’ll see who is available to come and pick you up, no worries.” Penelope reassured you.

You took some time getting ready, most of the team hadn’t seen you since before the injuries, and while the cuts and bruises have faded and scarred, you still had a very broken wrist and frequent headaches, along with PTSD and anxiety attacks thanks to the TBI. You felt like you had been doing well, and based on your recent check-up with your neurologist, things are trending up in regard to your health. Though you began to worry that the worst had yet to come.

A knock on your door shook you out of your thoughts, as you made your way to answer it, you wondered who Penelope sent to get you. Pulling the door open revealed someone you were hoping you wouldn’t see so soon.

“Hi Aaron.”

“Hello, were going to go pick up the food on the way back to the BAU, if that’s okay.” Aaron explained.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” You nodded.

The drive was filled with tense silence. You couldn’t help but wonder why Aaron would harbor any negative feelings towards you. You’d only moved out of his apartment so he could get back on to his life, if anything he should be grateful that you’ve gone home. One of the main reasons you’d really decided to go home was because of the fact that you were growing far too comfortable.

Things at Aaron’s house were starting to feel right, like it was where you belong. You had no idea how you had been able to work with him over the last few years, the crush you had on him all those years ago had only proven to grow stronger.

“I’ll run in and grab the food.” Aaron said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

Before you could reply, he stepped out of the car and made his way into the restaurant.  

Aaron got you signed in with a visitor’s badge (as you weren’t cleared to work) and then he led you up to the sixth floor, BAU bullpen. Upon walking in, you felt an odd sense of familiarity. You knew that it would make sense for the BAU to bring memories back and that you would have muscle memory to help lead you through the building, but it felt very strange.

You looked over at Aaron, “I need to go see Garcia, do you mind pointing me in the right direction?”

“Of course, her office is that way. Second door on the right.”

“Thanks.” You smiled.

You wandered through the corridor, catching a glimpse of Garcia through her open door. You lightly knocked on her door and walked into her office.

“Oh! Hello gorgeous!” Garcia squealed, standing, and pulling you into a hug.

“Hey Pen!”

“Let’s get your phone squared away and then we will go eat.”

You handed your phone over to Penelope and she began downloading the last backup from your old phone.

“This should only take a few minutes.”

Penelope and you made idle chit chat for a few moments while waiting on your phone. When it finished uploading, she unplugged it and handed it to you. The two of you then made your way to the bullpen.

Lunch with the BAU was overwhelming to say the least. It was fun talking to everyone, but you could tell everyone was walking on eggshells and you could see the pity flash behind their eyes as you sat and explained your lack of memories with the people sitting before you.

After lunch, Aaron let everyone leave early. It had been a paperwork day and the team had been very productive. He told them all to go home, but of course to leave their phones on, just in case they had to leave. Emily offered to drive you home, given the close proximity of your apartments.

When you got home, you changed into some comfortable clothes and sat on the couch. You took a deep breath and unlocked your phone. There were two things you noticed while going through everything, the first being a significant number of photos saved and the second being the texts exchanged between you and your boss.

You decided to go through the photos first. There were plenty of you with the various members of the BAU, but what caught your attention was one image in particular, in it, you were laid in bed with your head resting on a man’s chest…the man being none other than Aaron.

You quickly switched over to your messages app. Clicking Aaron’s name, you saw the most recent text…

“Be careful sweetheart. I love you.”

Your mind was racing, what were you meant to think, why would he keep this from you? Was the ring meant for you? You needed to see him.

You ordered an Uber and made your way to the FBI building. You signed in, getting a visitors’ badge and headed up to the sixth floor.

“Aaron” You called out into the bullpen.

“Is everything okay? What are you doing here?” Aaron asked as he walked out of his office.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” Aaron questioned.

“That we were together.”

You gestured to your phone. Aaron dropped his gaze for a moment, before looking back to you. You could see the pain behind his eyes.

“Sweetheart, we had been keeping it a secret, and I don’t know, I guess I thought that maybe you’d be better off. I figured you might find someone more appropriate for you.”

“That wasn’t a choice for you to make. Aaron things have been confusing enough, losing my memory. But to have you lying to me, it’s total bullshit. How am I supposed to get my memories back if you are keeping such a big part of me a secret.” You couldn’t help the frustrated tears from slipping down your cheek.

Aaron reached for you and let his thumb brush the tear off your cheek. He stepped closer to you and brought his other hand to your cheek.

“I am so sorry. I should’ve told you from the get-go, I was scared. I thought that maybe I would tell you and you’d have to get to know me again and maybe you wouldn’t love me the way you did before. I also couldn’t help but think that I don’t deserve you and this was your perfect out. But that was selfish, I should’ve told you the truth.”

You leaned your head onto Aaron’s chest, and he wrapped his arms around you. He pressed a gentle kiss to your hairline and then he pulled back.

“Can I show you something?” Aaron asked.

You nodded and followed him to his office. Aaron led you around his desk and gestured for you to sit in his chair. He pointed to his computer screen, and you took note of the screen saver. It was a slideshow of pictures taken throughout your relationship, there were pictures of you at the FBI Gala, Jack’s soccer game, art museums, at Aaron’s home, at your apartment, etc..

It happened slowly, then all at once. A warm feeling flooded your veins, and a dull ache filled your head. Tears were steadily streaming down your face. You looked up at Aaron, and he met your gaze. A moment was shared before understanding washed over Aaron.

“I remember.”

[actual-changeling]

I have written many meta posts and s3-theories, and read even more, but I got hit by an idea I have not seen before. (If there is another post, please link it!)

After vibrating for an hour and losing my mind in my dms, I have no scraped together enough brain cells to present what is probably my first actual 'main-plot meta'.

Welcome to another edition of Alex's unhinged meta corner, today with a title to honour Crowley's James Bond obsession and the possibility of another heaven heist.

I give you:

From Jesus with Love - You Will Live Twice

Now, let's get right into it.

I think Neil might have told us more about the main s3 plotline in the announcement article than we previously thought. We all got stuck on 'they're not talking'—for good reason—but it is the part before that which has been bugging me ever since then.

The plans are going wrong—and this time that is a problem for earth and humanity. Turning that around, it means that whatever that plan consists of would be the way to go and beneficial for everyone, the opposite of the main plot of s1.

"They need to prevent the Second Coming (SC)" is pretty much the only and most popular idea I have seen, hundreds of fics and metas and whatnot have been written about it, but I think there's a good chance we're wrong. If we're not, well, I will honestly just be happy to be watching season 3.

Whatever the Metatron is planning will have negative consequences for everyone, or as Michael puts it: "And so… it ends. Everything ends. Time and the world is over, and we begin Eternity… forever and ever."

It sounds very much like Apocalypse #1 - Same Old Plan, same expected result, yet if we look at different interpretations of scripture we find that the SC is not entirely about complete destruction and death for all of humanity—it is about creating a new world/migrating to the kingdom of God.

This is taken from the Wikipedia article about the SC

Resurrection and life in a world to come are a direct contradiction to the result Michael is explaining—total annihilation of humanity.

Now, I am neither religious in any way nor have I ever received any sort of biblical education. Luckily, Christians seem to love talking about the bible because there are dozens of bible website to wade through. If I get anything wrong, please point it out, I have never touched a bible in my life.

So, after reading many, many quotes by a bunch of different guys, I tried to create a somewhat coherent picture of what the SC might look like based on the assumption that the end result is positive. I will talk about how they can be interpreted more in-depth later, otherwise this would turn into a string-net very fast.

Additionally, we can also see where these points overlap with the statement Jimbriel gave in the bookshop in episode three.

What is Jesus' job description?

only God knows when and how exactly it will begin/happen, no one else does, including Jesus and the Metatron

a lot of different catastrophes are mentioned or quoted as something Jesus said, like earthquakes and storms -> Jimbriel mentioned a tempest and great storms

there is also the line "All these are the beginning of birth pains." Birth pains dictate that there will be a birth—birth of the world to come perhaps?

dead people will be resurrected/leave their graves so that they too can be judged (I'd say participate in it but that sounds like the Second Coming is a summer camp activity)

there are also mentions of stars and the heavens in general falling from the sky and the sun going dark -> Jimbriel also mentions darkness as one of the signs

great lamentations, as Jimbriel says, are also a part of many different passages, with humans mourning the world as it was

the Lord will descent with the voice of an Archangel and the sound of a trumpet/the trumpet of God; the grammatical structure of that sentence seems to be interpreted differently depending on who you ask, but the voices of angels/an Archangel and some sort of trumpet are common terms

once everyone is in heaven/wherever the 'main even' will take place, a judgement call will be made for every single person in relation to the book of life, which decides whether they will be punished forever or not (one passage talks about a lake of fire and mentions it several times in a row)

And this is where it gets tricky. To figure out what the SC looks like, we first need to understand a) what the Metatron's capabilities are, b) what he has to lose, and c) what exactly would be a threat to him.

If you ask me, all of this comes down to the Metatron wanting to stay and be in power for eternity with full control over angels so he can do as he please, aka keeping the system running as it is.

We know the book of life (bol) is a thing in the Good Omens universe, whether it does what Michael said is an entirely different question. So far, we have also only got confirmation that hell collects and tortures souls—in such large amounts that they are understaffed—while heaven looks completely empty.

The Metatron runs heaven as an institution, he seems to be the highest power any of the angels have access to and the one they defer to. He refers to himself as the voice of God and combines judge, jury and executioner, making him one great celestial dictator.

From what we know of hell, they do things a lot more democratically, having different councils, dukes, and ranks that are responsible for different levels of command.

We also know that that the Metatron wants the world to end, his goals can probably be summarized as the statement Michael makes, which would leave him in charge without any opposing forces.

We also also know that he sees Crowley and Aziraphale as a threat—why exactly remains a mystery for now—and that the success of his plan hinges on having a Supreme Archangel (SA) he can control. Gabriel decided to become princess of hell and Beez' sugar baby, so he was out of the equation, and after the Armageddon disaster, I don't think he wants to risk failing because of an unfamiliarity with earth (plus, y'know, getting our two idiots away from the plan).

It's interesting to me that right at the end, he says to Aziraphale "We call it the Second Coming"—call, not it is or it will be, CALL. We know that nothing Neil writes is a coincidence, definitely not with such an important line.

Just because you CALL something a specific name doesn't mean it IS what you call it, e.g. Aziraphale calls Crowley a foul fiend when we know he very much isn't.

The Metatron is selling his plan as part of the "Great/Ineffable Plan", so any questions can be blocked by saying it's God's will, it's ineffable. Whatever his plan is, he hides it behind the concept of the Second Coming, which angels know just enough about to understand the basics without having in-depth knowledge of what exactly it entails.

It is a good fucking strategy, I'll give him that, and it WORKS because angels—even if they have doubts—do not question. They simply don't; fear of punishment and millennia of conditioning have left them in a horrible place. When they encounter something unknown, their response is "I already knew that" as to not ask questions.

Crowley questions, we know that, and Aziraphale, ohhhhh, Aziraphale ALSO questions, but he does it in a less dangerous and obvious way. The Metatron is vastly underprepared for that.

(Side note: That alone would be its own meta post, but the gist is that he questions heaven's plans and then adjusts his assumptions of what God might want to what he WANTS God to want, e.g. Job, the Arch)

To summarize everything I just said, the Metatron wants to do what Armageddon failed to do—destroy earth and the universe—so he can be supreme dictator of all remaining celestial beings and gorge himself on power.

But instead of calling it his Big Evil Plan, he calls it the Second Coming, making everyone play along without resistance.

We cycle aaaaall the way back to the sentence I quoted—the ACTUAL plans are going wrong since the Metatron's would mean total destruction.

But what is the SC supposed to be if not the Apocalypse 2.0?

When I look at all the different aspects of the SC and assume a positive outcome, then the end result to me would be a new world that is pretty much like the old world, or maybe even literally the old world but with any destruction reversed. Heaven and hell get dissolved since now that everyone has been "judged", they as institutions are no longer needed, they have fulfilled their purpose.

No more judgement means there is no reason to keep track anymore, so why do you need to run celestial corporations whose only job is doing exactly that? You don't—and THAT is what I believe is the biggest perceived threat to the Metatron, losing full control over everyone and everything, losing his position, his title, and whatever else he has.

On top of that, Good Omens has told us again and again that God doesn't seem to give a fuck about good and evil anymore, and that without heaven and hell being all wrapped up in it, humanity would have 100% free will without any consequences.

Maybe the BoL is empty, maybe it isn't real, maybe Jesus stole it to straighten a wobbly table, who knows. There is a chance it is what Michael says, but I would admittedly find that a bit. too obvious and boring since it would boil the plot down to "they save their own asses again" and not "they save humanity at all cost".

Regarding Crowley and Aziraphale's role in this—I have Thoughts TM but those definitely need their own post. In short, they have to get the SC back on track, the real one.

-

If you have made it this far, thank you for working through what I hope are more or less coherent rambles. Any spelling or grammar mistakes are my own.

Questions? Thoughts? Corrections? Expansions and additions?

Feel free to add to this post however you like (and I can't believe I have to mentions this but if you clown on my post or behave like an asshole you will be blocked).

[manicpixiedreamedwins]

I know we all joke about Charles Rowland having these over-exaggerated people pleasing tendencies, but I just want to say they make a lot of sense for someone who grew up in the hell hole of a home that he did.

(Now's the time to dip if you don't want to read something kind of heavy and also really messy, sorry. CW for mentions of Charles' home life)

The night nurse gave us some insight into what Charles' home life looked like (that, and we can piece together how he must have been feeling from his reactions to the Devlin house). We know he had a volatile, objectively abusive parent. We know he and his mother were terrified of this man, enough that he keeps checking in to try and make sure that his mom is still okay all these years later.

Alright. Still with me?

There's this thing that happens to kids who grow up in households like this (trust me).

Because one parent is so volatile, they learn to model after the other parent who is constantly keeping the peace. They're constantly walking on eggshells, they have to be hyper-vigilant of even slight differences in the atmosphere to prevent a catastrophe. If they have needs or wants, then those needs and wants are not being met. If there are problems (there are) then they are not being talked about (ever, and if they try then all hell breaks loose and there are consequences).

These kids form a facade of "everything is fine, there are no problems and we are happy here". You know, what we would call a people pleaser.

This is Charles. This is very much a survival instinct, it kept him reasonably safe in life (truly, he only died once he deviated from it and "rocked the boat" so to speak).

In all fairness, it has worked out fine for him in death too- Edwin responds well to it. Edwin actually does react very well to Charles' attempts at merry making, deep breathing, even his playful ideas like boardgames and boxing. What he knows works, actually. It works so well he's stuck around for thirty years, so in his mind he probably doesn’t think he should change anything.

The second time he deviated from people pleasing, in all fairness, even when he had to or else he would get separated from Edwin, also didn't work out well. He reacted on genuine, earnest feelings. He was fucking angry when the night nurse showed him his trauma. He was pretty raw when he pushed her over the bridge and into the fish. That was all earnest, uncensored emotion, not a measured act.

Edwin reacted poorly. Everyone reacted poorly. Back to people pleasing.

Charles is really only confused when people pleasing doesn't work. When he reaches out to try and befriend Monty and gets snubbed, I think he's genuinely confused. He can't figure what's wrong. This always works. It always works with Edwin at least. So what's wrong?

That continues on when he's doing everything he'd typically do to engage Edwin while he's reading and it's just... not working (because remember the hyper-vigilance- he knows something is different and so he's unsettled).

This continues onto the roof scene. He knows something is completely and utterly fucked (he just doesn't know it is between Monty and Edwin, or that Crystal’s powers are gone) and he's uncomfortable. In a previous life, he'd be waiting for the other shoe to drop and something to hurt.

He's relieved when Edwin finally starts opening back up a little and trying to talk to him. Yes, he misinterprets what's happening at first (he assumes Edwin is coming out in general, as opposed to trying to tell him he likes him), but things are going back to normal in his mind.

They're reconnecting. He does get a little uneasy because there's still one wall between them (the cat king) that he can't manage, joke, or talk his way out of yet because Edwin hasn't explained yet.

This gets interrupted anyway. (At least there's no more cat bracelet, lol. A win for Charles).

There's more pressing issues, though- he needs to rescue Edwin from hell. He literally cannot be separated from him. Their whole thing has been not being separated from each other since... well since the start. So he keeps his promise, sloughs through the depths of hell, and goes to get him. Easy enough! He disarms the babydoll spider with a bomb, a moltov cocktail, and Edwin's journal. This was probably the least of his problems.

Success. He's got Edwin back. His afterlife is good again. Now things can go on as normal.

Only FUCK! Now Edwin is asking him to express... his... feelings...

-Well. Look how well it went the last time Charles did anything on his own volition. First he died, then he pushed Edwin away. This seems kind of important. He can't fuck this up, but they are literally running out of hell, but he can't fuck this up because that would mean he pushes Edwin away-

He comes up with something that feels close to right, measured, things that Edwin has responded well to before (and under all of that he asks him to stay, please stay, be patient, but it comes out as a declaration because that seems more certain). He cannot lose Edwin here.

They run back up the stairwell together. Charles hopes maybe Edwin understood.

Charles wishes he had better words on the roof. He doesn't, other than to reassure Edwin they're okay-- he would have wanted that. The last time he said anything, it was too extreme. He says nothing and hopes maybe Edwin will give him some sort of clue on what to do again, eventually.

Idk, maybe I'll write more later but... this is so fascinating to me because it's like so obvious as someone who grew up in the absolute tar pit that Charles did. He's not dumb, or making arbitrary choices with what he's doing here. He is doing what he knows works to keep what's important to him close to him. He's just wildly out of his depth when that doesn't work.

[galedekarios]

Hi!! Hope I am not bothering you (if so please feel free to ignore!) with a Gale lore question, but I figured you're the person on tumblr who would most likely know given all the cool shit you've been posting, but do we have any idea *where* gale was when he got snatched by the mindflayers? I can't seem to find a straight answer about most of the companions, but there seems to be a fairly straight forward answer for most of them except Gale (and Astarion to some extent) I know he had his year of solitude that he seemed to have left willingly and from what Tara says about Waterdeep it doesnt seem like they had a massive nautiloid attack the city a la the opening. I figured he either left Waterdeep in search of more items to sate the orb/protect the city in case of rupturing and was taken there or he was just maybe beaten over the head and abducted in the city by one of the few Absolutists that are in Waterdeep.

thank you for your message! i really appreciate your words.

sadly, there is no indication at all where precisely gale was before the events of the game take place.

i've collected some pieces of the puzzle, however, that i thought are relevant to at least paint a broad picture of what likely happened:

gale is well aware of how unstable the orb is. when he escapes the nautiloid, his first thought is that the illithid tadpole is very likely to have adverse effects on it:

he has lived with the orb for about a year or longer, knowing well what its effect might be. i have wondered often just why gale would know so much about ceremorphosis before the game starts. perhaps the devs just needed another exposition machine, which is likely, too, of course.

but considering the very real and very present danger of the orb, i think it's also likely that in his desperation to find a way to heal himself, reading up as much as he could on everything that even resembled some sort of solution, gale perhaps even read up on ceremorphosis, before deciding that it's just not viable, that it would do more harm to than good.

i think it might be in line with the same reasoning as to why the player can bring up the nightsong to gale as a possible solution to the orb.

2. gale is aware just catastrophic the consequences of the orb being unleashed are. when gale goes to rest in his origin playthrough, sleep will not find him and once more, his thoughts turn towards the orb first:

it's likely that this is why we find him staring into the flames playing a custom protag. these two scenes seem to mirror each other.

3. we also learn from the same dialogue two important things: that gale made tara promise to stay in waterdeep, concerned for her safety. we also learn from his conversation with tara that he is not only concerned about her safety, but his mother's as well and that he left her behind in waterdeep as well:

morena isn't aware of what her son tried to do. he kept it from her. not only had he disappointed her faith in him and his talents, now, with the orb, he was actively putting her in mortal peril. along with everyone else in the city.

from a later dialogue we also learn that gale is afraid of bringing shame to his family name:

player: So, your last name is Dekarios? gale: It is. Courtesy of my mother, the inimitable, dare I say it sometimes unavoidable, Morena Dekarios. It's been so long since I've used it. 'Gale Dekarios' cuts a poor figure next to the wizarding prowess of 'Gale of Waterdeep.' player: You're right. Just 'Gale' is better. gale: I agree. And on the plus side, if I get myself into any truly cataclysmic straits during the remainder of our journey, my family name will go untarnished.

we also learn that while news of the absolute seems to have reached waterdeep, tara doesn't seem to think that they have infiltrated waterdeep yet. which in turn means that waterdeep wasn't affected in the same way baldur's gate and other cities and regions were.

4. the next morning, gale can have the following conversation with tara:

"you left the tower in such a hurry you didn't leave an address." is what stands out to me here.

what exactly did make gale leave so suddenly?

was it a particularly bad flare-up of the orb? i think it might be likely because i also found this line in the files:

player: i fail to see why you need me to help you this. you've done fine without me so far. gale: A fair point - however, until recently I was able to rely on a supply of artefacts stored in my tower in Waterdeep. A supply that has now run dry. The reality of the matter is that a lone wizard with a chronic impairment such as my own is not in the most ideal of situations with regards to self-defence. The manner of artefacts I need are not often found waiting patiently on a shop-keep's shelf. One usually has to lift them delicately from trap-filled tombs or prise them from the hands of violent ne'erdowells.

so not only does this validate the fact that gale indeed suffers from chronic pain due to his condition even more, it also clearly states that he had nothing left in his possession to treat his condition anymore.

(as an aside, larian really did the seriousness of his condition a grave disservice here on a multitude at levels and this is another point where the narrative is at odds with the game mechanics of the full release. in ea, it truly required great artefacts (the sword of justice blessed by tyr or even the idol of silvanus) to soothe the orb.)

so to bring all of these points together, this is what i believe:

i think gale left waterdeep in a hurry after he felt the orb destabilising.

having no artefacts great power left, staying was no longer an option, lest he puts his mother (and waterdeep itself even) at great risk. he hurriedly packed what he could.

i assume tara was there and that it was then that he made her promise to stay because he didn't want to put his longest (and now only) friend at risk, too. perhaps he also felt better knowing that tara would be there for morena.

i think he was abducted while on the road, trying to find information about artefacts of great power and perhaps even setting out himself to acquire them.

[limetameta]

I don't know why more fic writers don't utilise the Wayne Gardens Halfway House for criminals and then the consequent Wayne Enterprises employment like Bruce Wayne is out here doing his darndest do give the Rogues a safer and easier transition into the real world post Arkham and yet I don't think I've ever come across a Halfway house fic once. (This is me begging for fic recs about this BTW feel free to gimme)

Like this concept is from the btas episode Double Talk where Arnold (Scarface's ventriloquist) is well enough to leave Arkham and he gets to the House, and he has a job in the Wayne Enterprises mail room. It's a very sad episode for other reasons but it's still so touching how much Bruce tried to make this difficult period of house finding and job searching all but done for them already.

So what I'm getting at here is what if more of the Rogues got to this point.

Ideas under the cut

Harley decorating her room however she wants and putting Ivy's plants in there because she doesn't have to worry about if doctors or guards will make a fuss about it. This is her space. She has a job now, too. A paper pushing job, but she's in a programme to get her licence back and everything is looking up for her! Thanks Bruce!

Edward making a dnd campaign group with his fellow Halfway House rogues because Harley commented that once curfew sets in she doesn't know what to do with herself. He shows up at work at Wayne Enterprises on the dot every morning, having set like 7 alarms so he doesn't sleep through because he isn't going to waste his one chance. He's the game developer in their suspiciously newly minted game department.

Plus, he has Temple Fugate to wake him up, who lives right next door and is up before everyone else. Man knows how to bake. He bakes and says that it's a calming activity with a set schedule that if he deviates from it will be catastrophic. Besides, it's nice to have hobbies.

At this point, Jonathan Crane, also in a programme to get his licence back, comments about how he'll probably be back in Arkham sooner than later. Harley laughs. "You can't SERIOUSLY be thinking of applying as a doctor there AGAIN?" And Jonathan, with the biggest shite-eating grin, just says: "Oh who's to say. Maybe just to see the reactions."

Gimme a fic where they break away from the cyclical status quo. Where you can feel the hope . Where they all treat this as seriously as they can because Bruce Wayne truly believes in them. And that's so rare. After everything that's happened.

Pamela who works in a botanical garden funded by Wayne Corp. Mr Fries who is allowed to research with scientists employed by Wayne Enterprises on how to cure his predicament. His wife Nora (Post movie) supporting him every step of the way (maybe she and Grace (Harvey's fiancee) are friends and helping each other as well as the men they love)

Harvey getting the operation finally and having a chance to recuperate. Though him, I think they might pull him quickly out of the Halfway House because he's a high profile man and some might think that being in a Halfway House would be beneath him. Maybe this works for him. He works as a lawyer in Wayne Enterprises and all he can say to Bruce, when he sees him is this: "Thank you for never giving up on me, old friend."

Though Harvey does get hooked on dnd and he does come by to play once a week. Edward is looking forward to a promotion to head of department.

They all know that sooner or later they'll need to leave the Halfway House and find different accommodation but they all tentatively agree that they won't push themselves before being fully, truly ready for it.

Harley points at Edward and tells him: "I'm gonna miss you guys so much! Why don't we all live together or get apartments in the same building like in a sitcom?"

And Jonathan is the only one who says he hates this idea, though it's very half-hearted and they know he isn't fighting the idea of that.

Waylon gets a job as a fisherman. Man is living out those A perfect Storm dreams of his. He gets paid the most from all of the Rogues because he's always been very materialistic and money means very little to Bruce Wayne.

Mary Dahl and Matt Hagen respectively get jobs working in a theatre group in Gotham. It isn't that visited, but they aren't ridiculed for being who they are. Romance because I ship them and I think this makes more sense than Waylon/Mary lmao. They're in counseling anyway so it's not like they can be that toxic to each other.

Speaking of romance~

The only one who's never gotten as far as the Wayne Gardens Halfway House is the Joker. But you see, that man can do whatever he puts his mind to. He's bored so he might as well speed run his way out of Arkham.

And everyone is worried about this. Because if there's one person who can undo all of their careful progress just by being his loathsome clown self, it's the Joker.

But he, just like all of them, winds up his alarm to get to his Wayne Enterprises job. He is nail bitingly saccharine to them. One time, he even washed the dishes that weren't his in the communal kitchen space. Something's off.

Once confronted, the Joker just smiles and says airily: "Oh pish-posh! I'm just in a good mood is all. I can finally see my boyfriend on a regular basis. Mon amour, Mon petit chou-fleur. Mon âme!"

Something is definitely off because Edward says that the Joker got a nicer job than all of them. He works CLOSELY to Bruce Wayne as his assistant. And that doesn't make sense. Why would Bruce Wayne let that happen? Surely he'd want to avoid someone like the Joker.

And it's Jonathan that sighs: "Do you think that his boyfriend IS Bruce Wayne?"

"No??? Why?? God??? God no???"

"Think about it. Bruce Wayne is the 1%, they're all very weird people with kinks that us in the psychology department would relish in untangling. What's some clown fuckery on the side? If anything, that's a lot tamer than what most of his contemporaries are doing behind closed doors."

Immediate horror from everyone. Harley is the first one to shout: "If that good for nothing clown fucks up this good gig we got by breaking Bruce's heart I'm going to kill him!!"

So they confront the Joker by knocking on his room in the middle of the night. And maybe they shouldn't have done that because he's supposed to be out cold, having been prescribed sleeping pills and all that. But they knock again, nonetheless.

They hear a bang. And a crash from the inside. And half of the Rogues just kind of take a step back. Harley and Pamela are the ones who stay closest to the door. Pamela shouts: "Open up, clown!"

Jonathan narrows his eyes as he cranes his way towards the door, trying to make out the sounds on the other end. He coughs to swallow down a laugh: "There's a lot of moaning in there."

"Hey, hey, you're going to get us all in trouble if you've brought folks over! It's past curfew!" Harley yells.

And it's at this moment that the moaning kind of stops. There aren't any crashes. Someone grips the door handle from the inside and turns it open.

The Rogues all take yet another step back, this time all of them.

It's Batman. The portion of his face visible from the cowl is covered in red lipstick. He sighs, and his voice doesn't quite manage to lose that post make out tinge: "Nobody's going to get in trouble. I'll talk to Bruce Wayne and clear anything up. Go ahead and play your dnd. Thank you, goodbye." And just as he closes the door, the Joker erupts in a fit of laughter on the other end.

"I'LL TALK TO BRUCE WAYNE, HE SAYS! HA! OH!! OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY!!"

[viridis-mundo]

City with no name, person with no history

A thousand years ago, Pix voluntarily went into the desert and never returned. A thousand years later, it still has consequences. A short look at friendships that span lives.

"You’ve been spending a lot of time here lately," Pix smiles, there is no claim, no hint of suspicion. The smile is soft, he is simply observing the fact. The sky is blue, the grass is green, the ancient city that Pix is working so hard on has no name. Fwhip has been spending a lot here lately.

It is the middle of summer, and the sun stands high and shines for a long time, making its way even underground to the goblins. Gobland is cooler than the surface, but everyone still works a little slower and a little lazier than usual. Fwhip decided to stop construction during the heat wave. However, when your hands are not busy with materials, it turns out, that he has too much free time.

"Are you against it?" almost escapes Fwhip, but something inside him is suddenly afraid - what if he really is against it? What if suddenly Pix will say that he is tired of the company and overall the goblin is getting under his feet? What if he suddenly leaves? Which is honestly hilarious. Pix may disappear for a day or two or even a week, but everyone knows that this man has simply buried himself again in some ancient hole and sighs in admiration over half-broken vases.

"Someone should make you warm up, old man, otherwise you’ll wither away like your precious artifacts," Fwhip grins, kindly, of course, and Pix laughs too, a little muffled, as if from afar. Fwhip is again overwhelmed by the feeling that Pix is going to disappear right now. Pix has always been... Fwhip doesn't want to use the word "weird" because it implies that everyone else was normal (which they weren't), but there was always something ELSE about Pix's presence. He will tell you a fact and then add something ELSE that he shouldn't know, he will ask you a question, but there is something ELSE in the question, but you don't know for sure what it is, you will say the answer and he will hear something ELSE, incomprehensible to you. And then he will smile again and for some reason, you will feel sad.

"As if I don’t have enough warming up without you, little children," he is only like maybe eight years older than Fwhip, but Pix again looks into the distance, at the restored castle, and in his eyes is the regret of an immortal. Fwhip resists the urge to grab Pix by the sandy (it's blue-gray) shirt, like a really small child afraid of losing a parent at the festival. "I do need some fresh air from time to time," Fwhip adds more quietly, still hoping to keep his voice light-hearted, but, judging by Pix’s look, failing catastrophically. Pix looks at him closely, but not as intensely as, for example, Scott, with his magic eye, or Gem, with the carefree attitude of a princess, but with hawk's sight. Pix’s gaze is soothing, like a heavy blanket after a nervous day, like a mug of warm milk before bed, like the quiet dance of stars in the night sky. And just as centuries ago, people looked at the sky and looked for constellations, so Pix is always looking for something in someone else’s soul. With the precision of an archaeologist, he unearths long-forgotten (or buried) emotions, and Fwhip has always taken this as a challenge.

I have nothing to hide! Here I am!

But today, under Pix's magnifying glass, something too forgotten turned out to be, something that Fwhip was not ready to face. This something had a taste of redstone, gunpowder, and for some reason sand. The sand got into his teeth, into his nose, into his eyes, and that’s probably why Fwhip found that his eyes were watering. He nuzzles his nose into Pix’s shirt (it’s blue-gray), and he smells of copper - he was working on the copper aging machine underground. And this smell also calms, but for some reason, the tears keep flowing and flowing.

"I’m not going anywhere," Pix says quietly, hugging Fwhip back. And there is no consolation in the voice, only a promise, as if he was going somewhere, but changed his mind. And Fwhip believes, he nods his head, as if agreeing with the decision, and holds Pix even tighter.

A thousand years ago, these same hands could not find a sand shirt to hug and cry into. A thousand years ago, Fwhip stood alone in the middle of a desert that stretched for thousands of miles around him and wept alone. A thousand years ago, Pix voluntarily disappeared into the desert. A thousand years ago his friend did not return.

"I'm here," Pix says again as Fwhip calms down under the setting sun. The night embraced friends.

[cdroloisms]

yeah hi me again with another question SO if cpunz knew the contents of the revive book the whole time cdream was in the prison, why was cdream so terrified of being killed while imprisoned? couldnt cpunz just revive him?

good question :D

i mean, dying is still kind of catastrophic, tbh -- being revived makes it really obvious that c!Dream isn't the only one with the book, which could destroy all the effort they put into staged finale (which is exactly what happened in the genuine finale, as the reveal of c!Punz and the book is what jeopardizes both his and c!Dream's lives with the nuke plan), for one. the terror of dying is something that's necessary to emphasize that He Is The Book You Need To Keep Him Alive, which is what's expected from a scenario where he's the only one with the book which is what everyone else thinks is the truth ... so there's no good reason for him not to act terrified, ykwim? Additionally, revivals are obviously causing problems (though it's unclear if he and punz knew about this by the time the prison began -- I'm inclined to say yes, but it's not hard confirmed in canon afaik) and keeping unnecessary ones to a minimum is a good play, regardless. plus, there's a lot of fucked up things you can do to someone when you can kill and revive them, and the necessity of not killing dream was very much what was protecting him in canon from shit like quackity, bc of sam's commitment to keeping him alive, etc. keeping people from ever knowing that that's a possibility protects him from Those Horrors (which have been explored already by quite a few people in quite a few AUs, at this point, LOL) -- not dying is for sure the safest choice for him, and the consequences of being killed range from "pretty bad" to "outright horrific" for c!dream no matter how you cut it -- plenty of reason to be afraid besides just death, imo.

for a much more hypothetical side of this answer, c!dream's dying to tommy and tubbo in the genuine finale really kicks off a lot -- which ends up leading to the Incident, not that it's super clear what specifically happened to trigger it (considering the planned fight against XD, the egg hatching, and the nuke literally all happened at the same time.) it's still unclear what c!Dream's specific connection to the supernatural, especially XD, is in particular, so it's hard to make any definitive judgements -- and it doesn't seem likely for c!Dream's death to be Specifically meaningful considering how many times he possibly died in death/revival experiments with c!Punz (which we. obviously still don't have a specific number, but c!Dream does say that he's been to Limbo more than once very intentionally and c!Schlatt makes a point of saying that he saw c!Dream, not Mexican Dream, in Limbo with his book of moon runes a few times as far back as march 16th) -- but that being said, could c!Dream's death be part of the Event Hullabaloo that might've played some kind of role in the everything that has to do with the server reset? I mean, possibly? He's always been someone related to the supernatural stuff on this server, so it's hard to say for sure. This latter point isn't definitive in the slightest and I think "because being terrified of death still makes sense/was the smart act to play into" is more than enough explanation for why he was acting so terrified, but it's an interesting thought experiment, I guess.

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

This rewatch of ouat what I've been noticing the most actually is how much of it is about doing good without any reassurance it will work out. The sending away of Emma is a terrible thing to have to do especially as there's no knowing if she'll survive, if she'll grow up, if she'll be able to make it back. A promise was made, a prophecy, but it still would have been so much easier to try to keep her and halt the curse, to try to take control of the situation. But Snow and Charming didn't, they surrendered control if it and that's what saves them in the end!

And consider the Cinderella episode, where everyone's saying this young girl can't be a mother, and from a certain point of view they're right, it would be incredibly difficult for her, she might fail at it. But she chooses to keep it, to raise the baby, and Emma believes that she can because it's about having faith, faith that even if you can't see a clear path forward, if something is right you do it. Hansel and Gretel's father! He can't be a father, he says, he's barely holding together life as it is, he doesn't have the skills, he doesn't have the time or it's implied the money, but then he takes his children anyway, he chooses to do the right thing even if it could be catastrophic because you have to believe it won't be.

That's what Regina and Rumple, the two main antagonists of the season, fundamentally both do wrong. They grasp for control, they're desperate for some kind of power over the future, they have no belief, only need to shape the world exactly as they want. So they turn to atrocities to obtain this! The curse literally gives Regina control over everyone, but because she needs that control when it starts to slip away she can do nothing to stop it, she has no way of acting when she can't direct everyone else and that's why she loses to Emma. Emma does make plans, but she's actually surprisingly impulsive, she does so much in the moment because she sees a situation and she does what she thinks is right immediately, there's no choice outside of it, she just believes it's right and damn the consequences because all we have is means! We can't control the ends, only the means and so the means MUST be good.

(This is also btw why Neal leaving Emma doesn't feel right, because rather than saying right now I should keep my promise because in this moment that's right, he tries to plan her future for her, which of course can't be done.)

[astarionslittlejuicebox]

The Promise of Eternity (Part 5)

Author: @astarionslittlejuicebox

Imagine: The reader helped Astarion ascend and became his spawn. After saving the world from the Elder brain and it’s destruction, the reader and Astarion set out to take on the world together. While he promised to never forget the gifts the reader has given him, Astarion has seemed to have changed his attitude towards the reader in the last century…. After someone breaks one of  Astarion’s rules, how will this affect the reader’s fate?

Pairing: Astarion x F!Reader

Trigger warnings: potential for minor spoilers, suggestive themes, language, mentions of death, mentions of blood, abusive relationship, mention of slavery

Word Count: 1145

Imagine Series

Side Notes: 

This imagine series takes place 200 years after the events of Baldur’s Gate 3.  Everything you read in here is a story from my mind outside of the original BG3 character Astarion.

In this imagine series, Astarion is a bit more unemotionally unavailable, and this series will follow the decisions and consequences of that change. This is not canonically accepted and it is just an idea I’ve had in my head! (I do believe Astarion might truly care for the reader after Ascension, but that is open to individual interpretation.)

In this series, TAV is mildly based on my first character I played in BG3; she is a drow and I will make references to her in her background and knowledge as well. I do apologize that it is not 100% your own imagine, but the name for TAV is up to you as well as anything else that I can think of leaving to you, the reader, to decide.

I appreciate everyone who reads the imagines and this series, and I hope you enjoy the story!

TAV POV

“Good morning, Mistress.” I awoke the next morning with a startle as Kristiana knocked and entered my bedchambers.

“Fuck!” My hand clutched where my heart would have been beating through my chest. “Kristiana, damn, I’m sorry. You startled me.” The woman frowned slightly as she took in the sight of me still in yesterday’s clothes.

“Mistress, did you not go to bed last night?” Concern laced in every word she spoke, but I waved a dismissive hand.

“Do not fret. I was merely doing some very interesting reading and lost track of time.” I gave her a reassuring smile as I took note of my page and closed the book. “Let’s get dressed for the day.”

After bathing and getting dressed in a beautiful jade dress that flowed around my ankles, I dismissed Kristiana again for the whole day under the guise that I wanted her to enjoy the change of season. I waited until she left before I opened Inception of Yesterday and reread the last page I had fallen asleep on, and my eyes widened in surprise. This page had a detailed step-by-step process of a ritual Elminster had done in 1000 DR to see what caused a catastrophic fire in the Waterdeep Palace. If my heart still had a rhythmic beating, it would have increased its pace as my eyes reread and then read again the words on the page. A sliver of hope began to sprout in my chest as I studied the steps, but a small voice in the back of my head also began to sow doubt in the back of my mind.

There is only one way to test this. I thought to myself. I have to see if I can do the ritual and see what happened here last night. I read again the list of ingredients needed for the ritual: four red candles, a single blue candle, chalk, and a connection to the Weave. I bit at my lip as I looked up from the book. I needed to head back into town for supplies, and I had a feeling that I might need to have a few rounds of those supplies. Magic has a tendency to be temperamental when attempting it for the first time.

Gathering my coat and placing the books from the library in my bag, I threw open my bedroom door to find Astarion standing there with his fist poised to knock on my door before  I let out a startled yelp. A perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised itself on the pale elf’s face at the sight of me.

“I have to go into town for supplies.” I answered before Astarion could ask anything of me. “I may require your assistance later on for the task you have asked of me, but I need to see if I am capable of doing the spell first. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.” The words fumbled out of my mouth as I avoided prolonged eye contact with the pair of crimson eyes I had been in love with for centuries now. The same ones that continued to break my heart for the last century. I said nothing more as I pushed past Astarion and closed the door behind me.

“Darling, you seem to have forgotten something.” His velvety voice sounded amused as I started to walk away from him. I paused and noticed that the sole of my foot felt cooler than before. Looking down, I had noticed what the vampire had alluded to: I wasn’t wearing shoes. I groaned before turning around, but Astarion stood in front of my door, blocking my reentry. “Does your maiden not take care in getting you dressed?”

“I dismissed her this morning after putting on my dress.” The words bitterly left my mouth as I avoided eye contact with the piercing red eyes staring at me. Why did he suddenly seem to care? He hadn’t in a century. A deep chuckle sounded from his chest, which made me look at him. “Can I put my shoes on now, or do you wish to ridicule me further?” Any amusement that was on the elf’s face dissipated at my question.

“Darling—” He began, but I raised a hand to stop him.

“Forgive me, my Lord, but you have asked a task of me and I must do so. I am not sure what has changed recently, but you cannot just resume calling someone darling when you’ve treated them like a speck of dirt or a bug to be squashed for the last hundred years.” Those crimson eyes of his widened at my outburst. “Now, if you will forgive me, I have to get these supplies, and do my duty. I’m sure your tiefling is looking for you.” He made no move to stop me as he stepped out of my way, and he was gone by the time I threw on a pair of heels to match my dress.

I hadn’t spoken to Astarion in such a manner since the tiefling had arrived at the castle, nor had Astarion spoken so casually to me since her arrival. She despised my guts the moment she stepped foot through the door, and Astarion seemed to do the same from the moment he made eye contact with her. An unsettling feeling began to emerge in the pit of my stomach as I thought more about the damn tiefling, but I pushed it to the back of my mind as I hurried to gather my supplies.

Astarion POV

You cannot just resume calling someone darling when you’ve treated them like a speck of dirt or a bug to be squashed for the last hundred years. (TAV’s name)’s words echoed in my mind as I walked away from her room. He hadn’t known that he was acting in such a way to her, and it made him feel as though he had been absent for quite some time.

Could I really have treated her so horribly? He thought to himself as he walked the halls of his castle they had built together. Why can I not recall the last century? It seemed like just yesterday Zeyis arrived at the castle’s door. His feet seemed to stop as he stood in front of a large portrait of himself. His eyes trained themselves on this painting, and his brain struggled to recall when he had replaced the portrait of (TAV) and him. Several emotions passed through him as he drew blanks, but two emotions remained: anger and confusion.

“Admiring yourself, are you?” Zeyis’ voice asked from behind him. As Astarion turned to look at her, all of his anger and confusion was forgotten the moment their eyes met. Something in the back of his mind was nagging at him, but he couldn’t quite place it as he looked at the tiefling.

What had been bothering him?

[sonicasura]

Regal Bloodsucker

Official name for GranDracmon!Kafka AU as the idea won't leave me alone. It's holding my ass at gunpoint to conjure the most insane shit possible so I'm gonna deliver. The first being the timeline of sorts.

I decided to refresh my brain a bit on major pre-canon events. One thing being when No.6 attacked which was 10 years ago. At most, Kafka would've been 22-23 at the time while Kikoru is 8-9. (Important detail for me to fix the young Shinomiya's age for the Ghost AU.)

I'm highly tempted to have Kafka come into his eldritch heritage at 21 instead of 28. Why? To up the Defense Force's blood pressure even higher by having him fight and kill Kaiju No.6. Although I would have to change somethings first.

No.6 is a known danger to the Defense Force as they been steadily monitoring this particular monster's movements. The catalyst for the fateful catastrophic attack is a territorial dispute with the newly emerged Kaiju No.7. It kills the offender but the rage set off wasn't ready to ebb away until more blood is shed thus the attack on the city.

Any other situation, Kafka would've been in a shelter with everyone else. However since he has power here... The Defense Force gets unexpected help from the mythic 'Vampire King'. For those who don't know much about Digimon, GranDracmon is a very powerful Demon Beast type Digimon. I'm talking stronger than the series equivalent to the demons who represent the 7 Deadly Sins.

The fight between Kafka and No.6 was very ugly but there were a lot less casualties that day. However this feat had major consequences for him in return. Kafka is the most wanted by the Defense Force as he essentially became 'King of the Monsters' for killing the previous one aka 6.

Second is he been harshly weakened from his injuries. A few Defense Force officers decided to use the reflective nature of No.6's ice to increase the effectiveness of their light cannons against Kafka during the battle. This has left burnt patches across his body specifically the hind legs, left shark head's maw, right upper chest, upper back, right side of his chin to the neck down and left wing. (He retains those upper body scars in human form.)

Weak spots that allow others to harm Kafka in monster form without needing concentrated light. It also lessened his time in human form since it will take years for this side to recover. Finally there's the public opinion of him. Everyone is split 50/50 on what they think about the Vampire King. Some see him as a guardian while other believe he's a gigantic threat.

Even the Defense Force wasn't left unscathed since one of the lives Kafka saved that day is Hikari Shinomiya. The attack left her wheelchair bound, her spine took serious damage, so she can no longer fight. Hikari is one of the main advocates who want Kafka to be taken alive. She fully believes he fought No.6 to protect people than a territorial dispute like others claim.

You can say Tiny didn't make Kafka's situation any better either. He can't join the Defense Force as one of the changes caused by his hybridization is his human form's blood became a musty orange. Something our himbo wasn't happy to discover upon cutting himself the next day.

Another change is a 8 ft tall bipedal hybrid form of his GranDracmon heritage. It isn't as strong like the full form with the best fortitude estimate being around 6.4. Kafka can raise to a 9.8 by drinking kaiju blood so he usually keeps a vial on him.

Between the Defense Force, the 3rd Division aim to capture Vampire King while the 1st rather kill him on sight. Kafka will become a vigilante as it's the only path left to fulfill his promise to Mina. He shall fight by her side but in the form of a monster than man.

[ladypeggington]

I’m planning to release a bigger draft of this later when the series has concluded but I need to get this out:

I genuinely loved Themes of duty and honesty of this season in general, but especially with Moiraine and Siuan.

I kind of fell in the middle of the whole Fishwives catastrophe of Ep 7. On the one hand, I think it could have been handled better from both a pacing and groundwork perspective, but on the other I think both characters were heading for something like that for a very long time.

Moiraine had been characterized as being so affected by her sense of duty regarding The Dragon Reborn that people close to her basically describe it as her having PTSD and became an entirely different person. (And this is before the mindfucking trauma of thinking she’s been stilled during the most important time of her life.) She has broken trust and pushed away everyone around her, sacrificing anything possible in pursuit of that ultimate duty. Regardless of how right and necessary that is, there are going to have to be consequences.

Siuan too, is stretched so thin trying to manage this secret and Tower politics that I’m certain something else would have happened soon with almost this exact same effect. The divisions in the tower are so obvious once I started to look for them; all the Aes Sedai talking almost exclusively to others in the Ajah in the White Tower courtyards, Verin misleading Leane even knowing that it would be found out by the Amyrlin almost immediately, literally everything Liandrin has done this entire season. She is nowhere near in control of the White Tower, if she even has anything going for her beyond the prestige and weight of tradition that comes with being the Amyrlin. Even when she meets Moiraine, with all the unbelievable amounts of suspicious behavior that other people have made some very in-detail analysis of on this website. Their duty has been slowly crushing them for ages, and that reality is such a key theme of Wheel of Time, and is going to be something really important to Moiraine’s future relationship with Rand

[akemiai]

drdt hidden quotes explained

all of the following quotes can be found by going to the individual character pages, doing inspect element, and scrolling through the elements.

ace markey: i don’t know what to do with myself anymore. arei nageishi: because thats what friends do. arturo giles: you hated them, but even that doesn’t justify what you did.

charles cuevas: if you forgot it, then it probably wasn’t important to begin with. none of those memories should ever be kept anyway.

david chiem: i hate you, i hate you, i hate you. i wish you would just die.

eden tobisa: you can’t go back, no matter how hard you try.

hu jing: i want to pay for what i’ve done, but even then, i still want to live. levi fontana: i always believed that a person is defined by their actions alone. but maybe that’s just a poor excuse for my heartlessness.

min jeung: i wanted to save you. monotv: her name is mai akasaki.

nico hakobyan: why should i own up for the mistakes someone else made?

rose lacroix: in the end, the only thing i can do is watch my wretched life go on.

teruko tawaki: it is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all.

veronika grebenshchikova: once something has been broken, it can never be pieced together in quite the same way again. the same goes for people.

whit young: we tend to idolize the dead.

xander matthews:  survivor guilt(n): feelings of guilt for having survived a catastrophe in which others died

typing in https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/maiakasaki into your search bar leads to the following page: “All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I’ll give it to you.

Ask for my life, and I’ll give it to you as well.

Don’t apologize for asking. I’ll give you my forgiveness too.”

further inspection of the elements shows the following message.

“Are you still searching for a secret? For some explanation that will satisfy you? There’s no answer I can give you that will make you happy. Maybe I should have lied instead. I’m sorry.”

typing in https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/AOAVIEPKRO into a search bar leads you to mai akasakis official character page. everytime you refresh the page you get a new quote. but each quote is attached to a name in the code. the quotes are as follows.

teruko tawaki: some years ago, she was searching for someone named ‘teruko tawaki.’

charles cuevas: a girl who loves her family.

rose lacroix: she remembers everything that is important to others.

arturo giles: a girl who sees the beauty in everyone.

levi fontana: a girl with a floral tattoo on her arm.

whit young: a girl with many friends.

eden tobisa: who kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up.

j(ulia) moreno: she kept it a secret, and told no one.

hu jing: a girl who wanted to keep everyone safe.

nico hakobyan: everyone confided in her.

ace markey: a girl who had a bright future.

arei nageishi: she doesn’t like it when her friends fight.

min jeung: an average girl with nothing special at all about her.

xander matthews: she couldn’t stand to do nothing.

veronika grebenshchikova : a girl who didn’t foresee the consequences.

david chiem: she forgives everyone.

monotv: it’s all your fault.

[aesrot]

Feel free to delete this, but I remember you saying that you liked Sonadow (I think that’s the ship name?). Anyway this is your invitation to infodump about them as much as you want. Also if you want to give fanfic recommendations I just might read them <3.

GIGGLES you shouldnt have said this >:3

idek what i could talk abt bc at the same times theres a LOT but also, despite me being mostly caught up game lore wise, i still dont feel like i have a good enough understanding of the characters, i'll probably only feel that when im caught up w the comics. which,,, will take me a good while to get through (just the archie comics are like over 500 issues long lol)

BUT. hmm what could i say that doesnt really require much prior knowledge...

ig, as every ship i ever ship, i see them more as queer platonic, sonic gives me the strongest aroace vibes, so i feel like his love for shadow wouldnt take a much different shape than his love for his other friends. but their connection goes a lil further to me, bc, when it comes to certain stuff, i feel like they're the only ones who can understand each other. and shadow... my dearest little guy... he represses a lot. his life experience wasnt. the best. i dont think he got that many opportunities to explore his own emotions, he probably cant even name a bunch of his emotions, its just easier to lash out, thats smth he's used to. he knows violence, it feels safer, he knows that dance.

and its because sonic has his fair share of violent background (aka, took up the role of a hero since he was way too young) that i feel like he is one of the few who can read shadow much easier than anyone else. hell, sonic himself is kinda knee deep in some repression (in my own understanding of his character). obvs most of this is bc its a franchise that targets kids, they wont get wild w the angst, but my boy sonic be out there fighting all the time and takes on a responsibility that shouldnt be his, the consequences of his actions can be catastrophic sometimes (once again asking everyone to watch sonic prime <3333 so much angst potential, im not normal abt it), and even when things go wrong, he jut smiles and powers through it. just think this for a second. god. imagine the amount of times he pushed himself beyond his limitations for the sake of others, how many times he pretended to be fine....

and yet. despite all that, they are terrible with communicating to each other, so things get physical often (as in fighting, not sexual, which makes it even gayer to me <3), and sigh. not surprising. put two stupid traumatised hogs in the same room and they'll either zoom around trying to race each other or they'll try to tear each others throat bc they just cant be normal together. ig thats how they communicate, go figures lol

my thoughts are all over the place atm so its hard to make this coherent <- my thoughts abt them are usually just violently screaming and sobbing. im sooo normal abt them. cant get much deeper than this without getting into the Lore, but yeah, ig this is smth

and oh, abt fanfics, hmmm i dont have that many that you could read without any background, but i did just finish this one shots collection thats very sweet and pretty chill to read without much prior knowledge, its mostly just a bunch of fluffy sick fics and them exploring their own feelings.

[deservedgrace]

the more I become a leftist as well as being ex-evangelical is really, really making me think how xtianity is basically a perfect tool of manipulation for imperialism.

and how much it has damaged the world into thinking humans are inherently evil. contributing to people feeling hopeless about humanity in the belief that we are inherently cruel. as xtianity spread that idea of original sin to everyone

a lot of other cultures viewed humanity in a more neutral light. some neutral to good

how would someone feel like they can make actual change in the world for the better if we were taught humans are inherently damned?

through this and many other aspects of xtianity… it is no wonder many conservatives who fight against progress are evangelical. and no surprise that christofascism would evolve as a concept and is a significant threat in the US

you're so right. there are so many things that contribute to xtianity being so effective as a manipulation tool but enforcing the idea that something is inherently wrong with you in order to sell the "cure" (xitanity) is particularly insidious

there's this weird dichotomy in evangelical xtianity where you're this horrible, depraved sinner without any hope of being better because you're a human and it takes away responsibility and accountability for your actions, and yet you're better than all the other sinners because you have ~the cure~, and because you have ~the cure~ and you're better than everyone else, you don't need to look at the harm you're doing. it's really similar to the issues in like, over-identifying with being a "good person" or "bad person" imo. if you're a "bad person" there's no point in examining your behavior because everything you do is bad, and if you're a "good person" you don't have to examine your behavior because everything you do is good. and in so many of these people we get this weird yet inevitable mix of "i can't help that i'm a horrible evil sinner" and "i'm always doing the right thing" that leads to this inability to self-reflect or take accountability even when people explicitly say they're being hurt. and then it's magnified by this belief in an all-knowing, all-loving god that you cannot question without consequences and couldn't possibly ever understand with your mere human knowledge that demands your full trust and faith anyway or burn in hell for all eternity

and then by claiming that everyone else is horrible and evil and that you have the ~one true fix~, you get these people who desperately want to "help" others but simultaneously view them as inherently evil and worthy of destruction, and that combination is catastrophic because then you have people who are not only willing to do whatever it takes to "fix" them, they view it as a loving activity

and all of that ties into the problem of heaven, where people are like "why should we make things better for people when the good, deserving xtains will be rewarded in heaven anyway and this life won't matter, and the evil, undeserving non-xtians are lucky that earth isn't as bad as hell will be"

i can only speak for where i'm at (the us) but the idea that humans are inherently evil is prevalent even outside of xtian circles, and it's so unfortunate because that's a very xtian idea that stems from the idea of original sin... which is the reason xtians think xtianity is necessary in the first place

i'm gonna stop there but i have A Lot of Thoughts about xtainity and why it's manifested the way it has

[sorenblr]

What is your opinion on the sexual cutscenes of FF16? I think a similar question was previously asked about Triangle Strategy and it seemed rather forced for the sake of pretending to be a more mature story, when FFT didn't rely on the explicitly sexual content to tell a mature story.

(This ask and the response are based on information that has been available as early as the demo and shouldn't contain any spoilers for the full game).

I don't mind a good sex scene and find the strangely puritanical reaction against sex depicted in film and television to be one of the most alien and frustrating discourses in recent years, but in this case it just seems to be the natural consequence of Yoshi P. demanding that his team watch the fucking GoT box-set:

...We wanted to create something that really resonated with a lot of people. And when we saw how Game of Thrones, and before that the Song of Ice and Fire series, has really resonated with players, we knew that this was something that we wanted to do as well. When we first started creating the game, we had our core team of about 30 members very early on buy the blu-ray boxset of Game of Thrones and required everyone to watch it, because we wanted this type of feel.

Game of Thrones made a lot of people a lot of money, and we thought to ourselves, boy, we would also like some of that money.

A larger distinction is that GoT features real actors who are, you know, people, and so it's not terribly embarrassing to see them stripped and smashing their shit together or jacking off or whatever. FFXVI, according to the aesthetic preference of an entire industry, is populated by uncanny digital homunculi only crudely approximating the appearance of real people with the animating force of God's breath filling their lungs. I don't anticipate that FFXVI will have full-bore, hog-out ramming or anything- I assume it's just a lot of post-coital sideboob, maybe a glimpse of Clive's weird little ass here and there- but in this presentational mode it would play closer to comedy if you're not catastrophically addicted to Overwatch porn.

There is a reason the camera would always cut away before Kratos starts fucking. You don't want to see that shit. You think you want to see it, but you don't want to see it. Do you expect to profit by seeing what David Jaffe in his wisdom has obscured from our eyes? This isn't In the Mood for Love. A color pencil rendering by some chronically masturbating teenage fan submitted to EGM in 2006 would be more stimulating than whatever these games are capable of showing you. You don't need to see Kratos' stroke game. You haven't even earned the right.

Beyond the unintended aesthetic effect of these things, I don't really trust this team to incorporate that influence in a meaningful or considered way, based on what I've seen of the game thus far. It extends to the 'epic medieval violence' and the prolific use of 'fuck'. I love fuck like a brother so please understand when I say that this is an incredibly remedial deployment of the term. The fuck sauce is not imitable. You simply have it or else it'll never be yours. A decade of stewarding radically PG-13 MMO quest dialogue has closed off the way to that place for Michael-Christopher Koji Fox.

And the insistent comparisons to Matsuno's oeuvre from the fanbase, often as a defensive appeal to legitimacy wherever the GoT influence is noted, are bordering on the absurd. Vaguely medieval politicking was apparently the only mark of his work that ever found purchase in people's minds, and none of the particular aesthetic, aural, or tonal distinctions that made those games living and vital. I don't expect that this game will have a meaningful resonance with those works except that people will be furious when the narrative inevitably ends with Clive facing off against some sort of ogre or deity instead of late medieval Karl Rove. But I also don't expect I'll have anything meaningful to share on the matter until I've seen for myself if it's as blandly imitative as it all seems. I mean, it's at least coming from an incredibly cynical place, as evinced in the quote above.

I don't have $650 USD burning a hole in my pocket at the moment, but I would love to be proven wrong whenever I have the chance to play it in like, late 2024. I similarly thought that FFXV looked totally insipid but then found it very affecting. Combat is an easy sell as one of the last living "character-action guys". You can use 'Stinger', that's good. There's a cooldown on the launcher? What the fuck is wrong with these people? It's probably still pretty good.

final fantasy sex thoughts postscript: they should make FFX-3 but it's about wakka and he always has one nut hanging out of his shorts and every 15 minutes he tucks it back in and says "sorry 'bout that brudda" to no one in particular but then it just immediately falls back out. also he's racist against al-bhed again