#harry goes to beauxbatons

[hp-fanfic-archive]

Meeting By Starlight by Lomonaaeren Pairing: Harry/Draco, Harry & Sirius Rating: T Word Count: 5k When Harry steps out of the Beauxbatons carriage to come to Hogwarts in his fourth year, his gaze is immediately drawn to a pale-haired boy wearing green robes. He’s more than a little surprised to find his mate like this, but then, there are days that he’s still surprised he’s a Veela at all.

[mallowsweetmiri]

Truth, Dare, or Punishment ~ Fred Weasley

summary: you bitches asked for dom!Fred and you shall receive. a game of truth or dare in the common room goes south when Mclaggen dares you to kiss him

warnings: possessive dom!Fred, smut, cursing

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The night had been going splendid so far. Everyone was way too excited after the arrival of Beauxbatons and Durmstrong to go to sleep, and the older Gryffindors decided to get shitfaced as the perfect solution to their restlessness. After all, there was no quidditch this year to justify throwing common room parties, so you guys had to get creative. The new year brought new witches and wizards to corrupt, and so the twins finally let their baby brother Ron and his year join the fun. It been going well, granted Hermione was drunk off her ass, but Harry had been watching over her well enough. You were also past the point of drunk, and you assumed by their faces that the rest of the group were on their way there. At this point in the night, those who were still awake were circled up playing a filthy game of truth or dare. Angelina had gone to do seven minutes in heaven with George, Neville had eaten a puking pastille, and Ron had madeout with Lavender Brown in a disturbing manner. It was time to spin the bottle again to see who would ask the next question. Hermione giggle and leaned into the circle to spin the bottle. Everyone look around with nervous smiles as it spun around and around, before landing on Cormac McLaggen. You cringed. This was possibly the worst person it could've stopped on. Your body had a visceral reaction when your name left his lips.

"Y/N," he smiled drukenly, "Truth or dare?" You rolled your eyes. Oh, great.

"Truth," you said, grabbing your drink and taking a swig. You were going to need it.

"Who did you lose your virginity to?"

You choked on your drink as the rest of the group murmured at the question, Hermione's jaw dropping before a stream of shocked laughs escaped her. You felt Fred tense up beside you. Your mind raced with the memories of this summer at the Burrow.

"Just like that, Y/N. You're doing so good," Fred praised as he thrusted into you, kissing the crook of your neck while he fucked you. He'd been teaching you how kiss, as a friend of course. He had to help out his dear friend Y/N when she confessed how embarrassed she was that she had never kissed anyone. Never done anything with anyone. From there it had escalated. First, you wanted to know learn to give a blowjob, but soon enough Fred thought it'd be best if you knew what these things felt like too. After a while, you both realized you were terribly obsessed with each other, and one night you decided to let him be the one to take your virginity. He was big, and you were nervous, but he was so sweet about it. Even at the beginning when you thought it wouldn't be able to fit, he was reassuring and gentle with you. But that was at the start, and by now he was fully fucking you on your back, your pussy starting the soften around his cock as pleasure began to ripple through your body. You both came together in a heap of sweat and kisses.

"Y/N," McLaggen sung, waiting for your response.

"I'm not answering that," you coughed, still choking on your drink. The group has set up measure to tell if someone was lying, so you couldn't fake still being a virgin. You supposed the question wasn't that out of pocket, but you couldn't answer it. Nobody knew about you and Fred besides George, and you both wanted to keep it that way. Especially from your families.

"Well then, you know the rules," McLaggen tsked teasingly, "you forfeit to dare."

"What? No, I-"

"Those are the rules Y/N," Hermione cringed, unable to stop herself. McLaggen smirked.

"I dare you to kiss me."

You felt nauseous. McLaggen was disgusting, and the last person you'd ever want to kiss. Unfortunately, you'd brought this onto yourself. You should've known he would dare someone to kiss himself. What a weirdo. The circle groaned and laughed in disgust as McLaggen puckered his lips. You cringed and shifted your weight to lean across the circle. Just as you were about to shuffle over to him, Fred grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. You looked back at him and saw anything but a smile on his usually cheerful face. He spun the bottle and landed it on himself in a hasty motion, still holding onto your wrist tightly.

"McLaggen, I dare you to stop wearing your fucking Ballycastle Bats tighty whities to every single quidditch practice," Fred sneered before yanking you up with him and pulling you towards his dorm. You heard the group go crazy with laughter behind you and hoped it would cover for the fact that Fred just pulled you away from the party. Hopefully George could cover for you two, he should be done with seven minutes by now. Fred dragged you up the stairs without so much as a look in your direction. Once you reach his dorm, he threw open the door. What was happening?

"Fred-" he smashed his lips into yours and shut the door with your body. You gasped as your back hit to wooden surface, Fred pulling your skirt up while his hand gripped your thigh. He used your lifted leg as leverage to grind down into your hips as he pressed you against the door. Your pussy pulsed when you felt him against you, his hands gripping in all the right places. Wait a minute. When did he start kissing you again?

"Fred," you said quickly, pulling away from his mouth. He tried to kiss you again. "Fred, we just left the party. You just dragged me up here when I was supposed to kiss-"

"Don't even say his name," Fred growled, his breathing heavy and hot as he kept his face inches from yours.

"I'm sorry," you whispered out, unable to speak properly. You'd never seen Fred mad before.

"I'm sorry I dragged you," he softened, ducking his head down to kiss your neck, "but I wasn't going to let somebody else kiss you." With that, he began to attack your neck. His left hand came up to grip the back of your head as his tongue and teeth lapped at your sweet spot. You let out whimpered moans as he worked, his fingers gripping you just right. Rougher than usual.

"Freddie," you moaned, grinding yourself onto his leg. You needed more. This man had hooked, and you'd never been so addicted in your life. He picked you up under your legs and carried you to the bed before placing you down on your back. He stood over you, leaving you panting on the bed as he took off his shirt and undid his belt. His eyes were locked on yours. You wanted to look away but you couldn't, his gaze wouldn't let you. When he finished, he rushed towards you again, kissing you deeply as his hand flipped your skirt up. His tongued rammed itself into your mouth, stifling your moans when his fingers grazed over your clit. You blushed as his fingers masterfully moved your panties aside and dipped into your core. Fred laughed into the kiss as he felt you.

"Already so wet for me," he breathed huskily, "are you ready to take me?" His words had you aching. You nodded up at him bashfully. You wanted him so badly. You had turned into such a slut for his cock. "Good girl." He sat up and flipped you over, pulling your panties down as he took off his own pants. He didn't bother to take off your skirt as he pulled you back onto him. You let out a guttural moan as you felt his length stretching you out.

"Fuck, Freddie," you whined as he gripped your hips and began to thrust into you. He was going to leave bruises for tomorrow, but you didn't care.

"You're taking it so good, Y/N" Fred groaned, smacking your ass, "you like getting fucked by me? Huh?" He picked up his pace, pounding into you hard. Your moans were bouncing with the rhythm of his thrusts as he waited for your reply.

"Y-yes, Freddie. I love when you fuck me," you whined, feeling you pussy begin to clench around him. His dick twitched at the feeling and groaned. In one motion, he pulled out and spun you onto your back, pulling your shirt up over your tits and pinning your wrists above your head.

"God, you look so fucking pretty. Can't see your beautiful face while I'm behind you," Fred grunted as he thrust back into you. You moaned and threw you head back. You writhed underneath Fred, his hand constraining your wrists. You desperately needed to grasps something. You were reaching the edge.

"Freddie," you cried, unable to say anything except his name. Your eyes clenched shut as you felt your stomach knot up one final time.

"That's it, baby. Come for me." You could feel his eyes on you as you released yourself around his throbbing cock. As the waves of pleasure began to slow, Fred grunted and became sloppy. He released your hands and buried his face into your neck as he came, pushing himself as deep as he could inside of you. He laid there for a moment before pushing himself off you and pulling you onto his chest. You couldn't help but giggle a little as he kissed your head and rubbed your shoulder.

"You are so jealous," you teased, looking up to see Fred. He laughed with a sleepy half smiled.

"I'm not jealous," he retorted, pinching your cheek. "I'm just protecting whats mine."

[sitp-recs]

hey liv! hope you are doing great :)) so, do you have any recs where drarry are like, more emotionally resolved? i mean, it doesn’t have to be drama-free (i love a little drama lol) but i would love to see fics where they are adults and more attuned to their emotions/feelings. thank you! and ty also for all the good you bring to this fandom <3

Hi anon! I adore this ask, love to see emotional maturity and self-awareness in fic, I always find it relatable and thought-provoking (which is not at all to say they got everything figured out!). I think you will enjoy these, I also have a reclist named “mature/healthy relationships” with a few other fics, you’re interested. Looking at this list I can say this is definitely a top fave for me!

Life goes not backward by @shealwaysreads (T, 9k)

Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots.

Tidings of Comfort by @blamebrampton (T, 10k)

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life. Luckily for Draco Malfoy, London has places where the tired can rest and recover.

Nothing Left to Burn by @skeptiquewrites (E, 10k)

Over ten years after their fling crashed and burned, Harry runs into Draco and finds embers still burning bright. Sometimes your ex-lover is (metaphorically) dead. And sometimes it's summertime in Montreal and the past won't let go.

A Song, Incomplete by RurouniHime (E, 11k)

Draco’s photograph took up the entire top half of the Prophet’s front page. Below the photo: DRACO MALFOY DEFENDS SON OF FORMER LOVER. As if that were breaking news.

This Unexpected Windfall by mindabbles (E, 11k)

Harry doesn’t like it when Draco is called in to work one of his cases. No. He doesn’t like it at all — at least that’s what he tells himself.

Take the Moon by @tackytigerfic (M, 15k)

Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one. It's just a shame they’d always planned to break up after a year…

The Strongest Affinity by eidheann (T, 17k)

Trouble finding a wand for Scorpius leads Harry and Draco to something they never imagined.

Thickets by @wolfpants (E, 17k)

When Draco returns to the UK after two decades of building his career as an internationally-renowned artist to look after his ailing, estranged father, he crosses paths with his former flame, Harry Potter, in the most unexpected way.

Unfinished Business by cupiscent (E, 20k)

Ten years after the War ends, Harry and Draco still haven't got their act together. But maybe it's not too late.

Expecto Patronum by @writcraft (E, 35k)

Harry Potter is the most sought after celebrity in wizarding Britain. His every movement is scrutinised, his relationships questioned and his photographs plastered over every paper. As Draco Malfoy negotiates his feelings for the wizarding world's brightest star, he becomes increasingly attached to Harry and unravels the secrets he keeps hidden from the rest of the world.

Against All Odds by momatu (E, 54k)

Beauxbatons is hosting the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe, and Harry has promised to enroll Teddy as his birthday present. Meanwhile, Draco is stuck in his office, putting together the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe during, when he should be enjoying summer holidays.

When Times are Dire by @aibidil (E, 130k)

Magical Britain is screwed, and it's once again up to Harry to save it. This time, by marrying Draco Malfoy.

Any Instrument by @dictacontrion (E, 131k)

Draco Malfoy wouldn't go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can't control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.

[greenerteacups]

Good morning GT, and thank you for the new chapter! I have loved the Bill-Fleur interactions in the last two chapters. I haven’t seen a lot of Fleur in Dramione, which makes sense because there’s not a lot of Fleur in canon? I feel like in book 4 she’s basically just Girl Contestant, coming in last place, with some foreshadowing of her checking out Bill and then no mention of her until book 6, where she’s a plot device for an interaction between Harry and Ginny. And the Weasley women dislike her because she’s… there? It feels misogynistic towards Fleur, and shows Molly and Ginny as catty.

Anyways, I guess I don’t have a question besides “Fleur?? Thoughts?” Her readiness to duel in the latest chapter brought to mind the image of her with a broken nose, blood pouring down her face, and performing magic that impresses even Hermione. And Ron’s sarcastic line of “almost like she’s good at this or something”, highlighting the fact that even Hermione had overlooked Fleur as a person with any above-average magical skill.

My Fleur lives her life according to two very important principles: "talk shit => get hit," and "life is too short to pretend I'm not beautiful." This is a characterization admittedly spun from limited canonical evidence, drawing mostly on her iconic "I am beautiful enough for both of us, I think!" clapback to Molly in Half-Blood Prince, which instantly converted me to Team Fleur forever. These are my semi-organized ramblings/two trains of thought on Fleur in canon.

Part 1: Factual basis: Any coherent reading of the text requires Fleur to be intelligent and capable as a witch. I mean. Sorry. There is no other reading that makes sense. She's the Beauxbatons champion — when we're given no reason to suspect Beauxbatons is any less rigorous than Hogwarts or Durmstrang — and she gets a job at Gringotts straight out of school. Where she is working alongside Bill, someone nine years her senior, also very smart/accomplished dude in his own right. And yeah, maybe she's not a Hermione-level genius, but she's still gotta have serious chops to hack it working (1) in her second language (2) in a foreign country (3) in the field of banking, and especially (4) in the field of MAGICAL banking. She's smart! She's qualified. Is she a little snobby? Yeah. Does she boss Ginny around during the wedding prep and maybe go bridezilla? Okay, yeah. Sure. But she's not shallow, bro, she's just hot and French.

Part 2: My conspiracy theory about the Fleurdemption arc in HBP. So Fleur is pretty much the butt of the joke in Goblet of Fire, and when it comes to the Tournament, she has bad luck. She goes 1 for 3, and she has to get bailed out by a 14-year-old in the Second Task. Not Great. (Though my hot take is that isn't her fault actually! Because everybody and their mom is cheating at the Triwizard Tournament. Harry gets told about the dragons by Hagrid, then told by Moody!Crouch to use his broomstick, then told about the egg by Cedric, then given gillyweed by Neville. Karkaroff is implied to be scheming for Krum, like, 24/7. Cedric is told about the dragons by Harry and then... actually, Cedric is pretty much on his own besides that, never mind. A king with integrity.) My point is: Fleur gets written off as a witch because (1) she's hot and therefore assumed to be unserious, (2) she eats shit in the Tournament (which doesn't help the "unserious" thing), and (3) her involvement after that being limited to Molly's New Public Enemy No. 1. Which makes sense in the context of Molly being written as a sort of old-fashioned possessive/bossy mother, but was not my favorite part of the books, because I thought the Fleur/Bill thing was cute. So my conspiracy theory is that Rowling gave Fleur that (iconic) moment of grace in HBP to try and make up for the fact that she was done kind of dirty in Goblet of Fire.

[theunknownpoetssociety]

go read my fic!! (I promise it's good)

It's his last year of school, Regulus is so close to being free of his family, once he's done with school it'll be just him and his friends, forever...unfortunately the Triwizard Tournament has different plans for him.

OR:

Regulus goes to Beauxbatons and competes in the Triwizard Tournament along his biggest competition, James Potter.

[manyfandomocs]

OC Introductions

So, my Harry Potter fic The Other Side now has a spinoff thanks to @randomestfandoms-ocs enabling and then also helping so here is From Now On, which is a Beauxbatons focused fic! (Tagging @cecexwrites and @daughter-of-melpomene because Harry Potter)

Mathieu Cayard (Dylan Sprayberry FC), Seamus Finnigan ship. Featured in The Other Side, Mathieu is in the Lead house at Beauxbatons and is a half blood who joined when they went to visit Hogwarts which is where he meets Seamus. He is a gifted dueler

Emilie Cayard (Clara Galle FC), TBD ship. Mathieu’s older sister and twin to Lisette. She is in the Mercury house and used to date Fabian. She visits Hogwarts for the Tournament as Fleur is her best friend and her ship may be from Hogwarts I just haven’t decided that yet. She is usually regarded as the “meanest” of her siblings but really she just stands up for them and herself, absolutely adores Alchemy and is fantastic at Potions

Lisette Cayard (Amy Forsyth FC), TBD ship. Mathieu’s older sister and twin to Emilie. She is technically the oldest Cayard and is in the Mercury house. She leans strongly towards the muggle classes and does not go to Hogwarts during Goblet of Fire

Fabian Darche (Benjamin Wadsworth FC), Nikita Carrero ship. Fabian is in the Tin house and plays Quidditch, he is honestly not the nicest person but he’s overcompensating a lot for his pureblood family’s reputation. He does go to Hogwarts during Goblet of Fire as he was entering his name for the tournament

Karline Eckardt (Lulu Antariksa FC) TBD ship. Karline is in the Lead house and is Beauxbatons’ resident bad girl who used to date Ximena. She is a talented witch but does not learn very well in school settings, she also plays Quidditch and is from a high ranking halfblood wizarding family in Germany (her father was muggleborn) She is 50/50 on if she goes to Hogwarts I haven’t decided

Dominic Shellard (Kit Connor FC), Jean-Claude Barrault ship. A half blood former Hogwarts Gryffindor student, Dominic only recently transferred to Beauxbatons due to his parents believing it to be safer. He is in the Tin house and is very good at Care of Magical Creatures and art

Jean-Claude Barrault (Joe Locke FC), Dominic Shellard ship. Born to a legacy of Beauxbatons students, he is in the Tin house. Sort of a golden boy of school, he is friends with many students and somehow has gotten the favor of Karline, he is a pureblood and very talented with languages. He was going to go visit Hogwarts but because of Dominic, he doesn’t.

Nikita Carrero (Mirela Balic FC), Fabian Darche ship. Born in Spain, Nikita is half Veela and in the Mercury house. She is one of the more popular students, often getting lots of attention with her Veela status and willingness to use it. She is nice deep down, but she hides it and focuses on her talent in charms. She does go to Hogwarts to see the Tournament

Yvette Bédard (Valentina Zenere FC), Viktor Krum ship. A quarter Veela, she is the Delacour girls’ cousin and adores them immensely. She is in the Lead house and has a habit of playing into the stereotypes and assumptions about her just to fuck with people when in actuality she is incredible at Transfiguration and an amazing photographer. She goes to Hogwarts where she meets Viktor

Simone Lachaud (Chandler Kinney FC), Joaquin Aguilar and Charlie Weasley ship. A former homeschooled witch, she is in the Tin house. Largely clueless to muggle things at first as she was raised by her wizard father and his family but she ends up having a talent for riding horses, and animals in general, and goes to Hogwarts to try to compete.

Joaquin Aguilar (Sergio Mayer Mori FC), Simone Lachaud and Charlie Weasley ship. One of Beauxbatons' top Quidditch players, he is in the Lead house. His main struggle in school has been learning about and meeting his half sister, but besides Quidditch he is really good with music. He has had a crush on Simone on and off for years but doesn't really act on it until they go to Hogwarts for the Tournament

Ximena Aguilar (Lizeth Selene FC), TBD ship. A Mercury house student dealing with both learning and meeting her half brother and a not so recent breakup with Karline, she decides she doesn't have it in her to go to Hogwarts and stays to focus on her dueling.

[expectopatronum18]

HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS -TIER RANKING LIST (purely based on the books)

Ok, here's the elaborate explanation for specific rankings that literally no one asked for

Sirius and Snape: Whether u r a marauders stan or snape stan, I think the character richness, nuance and complexity of these characters is undeniable, especially considering these r the 'good guys'. So any beef I hv with these characters gets cancelled out because of how well they're written, just because of the pure greyness of their personalities.

Same goes for Dumbledore, especially with his backstory

Teenage Voldemort was the villain, cunning, charming, psychopathic, manipulative; if only those traits had carried on. Adult voldy is straight up dumb, his manipulation of the malfoy family was the only thing in character, really disappointing nonetheless

James is that high because he's a pretty well rounded considering the fact that he's dead before the series starts. This filter didn't have regulus but i d put him in the sm category

Oliver Wood and Lockhart are that high just because they're iconic

The filter didn't hv Parvati Patil, so just consider that image to be her. She's the best side character imo. She's girly in a typical teenage sense, with her giggling, butterfly clips, her obsession with divination and centuars, her love for unicorns etc. But she's a total badass, she totally enjoyed her fame as harry's date in the yule ball, then straight up dumped him n went with sm beauxbatons guys when he wouldn't dance with her, stood up to umbridge, and fought with the DA until the very end. Her last appearance was when she won a duel against a death eater, she's an absolute queen

[obsidianpen]

Hi Pen!

I am so excited about what you are cooking in Incediary! So many questions about the world-building and about the characters' backstory!

I do wonder if the Dumbledores were always French in this version or if they immigrated to France after Arianna was attacked by the muggle boys/ Percival disgraced himself and was sentenced to Azkaban. Is he in prison in this version? Or did the family flee to France before the authorities got him? Or maybe Arianna is okay and nothing of all of that happened in this happier version of the story?

I'm probably overthinking it, but it's fun!

Anyway, it also got me thinking about my headcanon that James' mother's (Euphemia Potter's) maiden name was Bagshot and was some kind of relation to Bathilda Bagshot, which would help to explain why "old Bathilda" was invited to the Potters for a birthday tea, while they were supposedly hiding under the Fidelius Charm. I mean, it could be explained away by James trusting her due to knowing her from boyhood, but it still work better if she's a relation imho. Coincidentally, this would also create a distant and mostly meaningless link between Harry and Gellert, since in theory they could both Bathilda's great-nephews or something of that kind.

Seriously though, it gets me that we don't have more info about Harry's extended family. I fully understand why JKR didn't want to overcomplicate the story by giving him magical extended family that ignored his existence while he was living with the Dursleys, but the Potters were supposedly pureblood and the wizarding world is very small, so there has got to be _someone_ that was James' next of kin after his parents died. I guess that for this purpose Bathilda works well, since might have already been getting senile for real when Harry was very small, which would have stopped her from vising Harry at the Dursleys'. Though the idea that gives me life is that she invited herself to the Dursley household and tried to throw a two year old Harry out of window to wake his accidental magic (much to Petunia's horror) and conseqently was barred from visiting them ever again after Petunia complained to Dumbledore that she's going to quit taking care of Harry if this batty old witch bothers them again.

it will come up but yes, basically the Dumbledores moved after Ariana had ‘an unfortunate altercation with some muggles’ to southern France when they were young so Albus goes to beauxbatons and speaks French hit also speaks English with a British accent.

and yeah, it was a little overly convenient that Harry didn’t have a single other family member left. :/ but I get it too, for the sake of easier storytelling. I like that headcanon though!

[merlinpotterandtherandom]

Merlin feels the Old Region telling him to help Harry, so he watches Dumbledore putting Harry in the Dursleys door, and when Dumbledore leaves, Merlin takes a brief look around and when there's no one, he picks Harry up and takes the baby home.

Now, Merlin doesn't know shit about raising a baby, but he's gonna try anyways. Merlin can feel that there's something wrong with Harry, so he takes the baby to Gringotts for a test, said test reveals that the Horcruxes exist, so the Goblins do a ritual to take Harry's horcrux out and use it to trace the other ones + the main piece of Voldemort's soul. Once every horcrux is found and Merlin picks them up, the Goblins do a ritual to transfer the horcruxes to less valuable itens with the founders itens. So with that, Voldy is forever defeated.

When Harry is 11, Merlin isn't sure if he wants to send Harry to Hogwarts or just take Harry and move to America or France or whatever. Merlin doesn't trust Dumbledore at all ever since he and the Goblins found Harry's horcrux, so he really doesn't know if he should let Harry go to Hogwarts. Merlin ends up deciding let Harry do his first year at Hogwarts and see how it goes. Merlin and Harry go to Diagon Alley to buy Harry's things.

Merlin is shocked with every letter Harry sends him, what does Harry mean with he saved a girl from a Troll in the bathroom? What does Harry mean there's a Cerberus in an empty classroom? Who the fuck names a Cerberus Fluffy, of all the things? And who's Hagrid and why the fuck this person had a dragon? At this point Merlin is ready to go to Hogwarts, kidnap Harry back and fly, the muggle way so they can't be traced, to the most distant magic school he can think of, he doesn't care if it's the middle of the year, sure the Headmaster of the school would understand why Merlin wanted Harry out of Hogwarts even before the first year ended if Merlin told said Headmaster what Harry wrote home. But Merlin controls himself and waits for the first year to end. Then it ends with the stone disaster, how Merlin likes to call it, 'cause come on, Voldemort's dead! But Dumbledore still tried something with that fucking stone! So Merlin decides to have a conversation with Harry and he decides he's not gonna take Harry that far away, but Harry is not coming back to Hogwarts again. Of course Harry can still keep in touch with his friends, Merlin will gladly take Harry to see them! Merlin will even get a muggle phone so Harry can talk to Hermione if he wants! Merlin will tolerate pureblood talks if Harry wants to go visit Draco at the Malfoy Manor! Merlin will tolerate screams if Harry wants to go visit the Weasleys! But there's no way Harry is going back to Hogwarts! Merlin ends up choosing to send Harry to Beauxbatons 'cause honestly Merlin just likes the Headmistress better.

A few years go by and now it's the 4th year. Triwizard Tournament thing happens, and Harry is one of the younger students that decided to go 'cause he will take that opportunity to see his friends! But then he regrets that decision when his name comes out of the Goblet. To say Merlin was furious is an understatement. The same day that this happens Merlin is there and he starts screaming at Fudge, Bagman and Dumbledore and he says he knows the rules and there's a rule for when this happens and they will follow that rule if they know what's good for them. The rule in question is to just decide for a game and play it as the tasks and then after the unwilling participant is done with that, they must put the names of the willing participants in the Goblet again and then the real tournament can begin. Merlin watches everyone as a hawk so no one can put Harry's name in that shit again...But not that they're going to admit this, but who put Harry's name is way too scared of Merlin to try and do that again.

Harry is honestly just glad that Merlin managed to fix his name being spit out by the Goblet, so he can spend some time with Draco, his now boyfriend that he started dating during the summer, and Hermione and the Weasleys.

[limetimo]

RAB FICS I READ (July 23)

Best Part of Waking Up by starling011, TemieTem Sirius/Regulus later with addition of Remus, PWP

Listening to Your Heartbeat (If only you knew how much I love it) by thestarsforus Regulus and Evan were kidnapped by vampires when they were little, survived on the run for years, got adopted by Alphard, and finally got to go to Hogwarts for their OWL year. Bartylus

Little Star (How I Love You In All The Wrong Ways) by fairies_withspirits Regulus/Sirius/James/Potter, porn with soooo much feelings also [spoilers] James kills Snape with his bare hands

Tiny Hands (or, Heg loo) by featherprongs Jegulus raising Harry cute oneshot

Stupid For You by fullonbicrisis musicians Black brothers, Jegulus, long and sweet

i said i'd never let you go (and i never did) by JohnnysLittleMonster jegulus, trans james, harry is regulus' son, regulus kills voldy

step into the daylight and let it go by serendipitysirius halloween '81, regulus returns, lily dies, james needs to learn how to go on and to love without guilt, lots of therapy. Loved it

Twins Potter and The Goblet Of Fire by sorrowfulroseheart013 regulus is reborn as harry's twin, starts collecting his old friends

pipe down with the noise, i cannot bear my sorrow (i hate who i was before) by JohnnysLittleMonster after the prank sirius is super low and goes to commit suicide. v background jegulus

horrified looks from everyone in the room (but we're only looking at you) by JohnnysLittleMonster Regulus is being coerced into an arranged marriage. Effie Potter won't allow it ♥ This is super good okay

don’t talk to strangers (hey pretty boy) by lolokids for leabrut james ALMOST sleeps with a stranger. dramatic black brothers.

Goldeneye by ThisLiminalSpace professional quidditch players jegulus au with a lot of pining. Also Goldeneye is a galaxy brain nick for Regulus okay

Warm by UnfortunatelyDisastrous super lovely, regulus plots revenge on sirius by seducing his friends to the dark side. except, he kinda really likes being friends with remus and peter and dating james... long and sweet

I Know the End by ButIAmTheChosenOne Regulus makes his decision about the cave

To Get Back Home by ButIAmTheChosenOne everything's fucked, hermione and mtf theodore nott yeet themselves to the past (the 70s) with a Black Fam ritual

Whatever happened to the young, young lovers? by georgia_sk BAMF regulus kicking ass and being mentally unwell and emotionally unstable

Power Over Me by star4daisy vampire hunter James and his 3 vampire boyfriends

Of His Bones by MesserMoon for BerryLou royals Sirius and Regulus, pirate James and Remus, wolfstar, jegulus, soft but covered in blood RoseKiller and build up to Narcissa/Alice which is driving me feral in the best way

For Reasons Unknown by m3535, Zayhad remus/regulus gryffindor regulus

Ivy Grows by Rosemarilee lily out of blue cheats on james with mary, realises she's unhappy with her life becuase she didn't stop to think what she wanted since she got pregnant some 15 years ago. Regulus has a massive crush on James and is the support James needs in these trying times

The Boy from Beauxbatons by haey1 sirius was sent to beauxbatons for some reason and now he's back to england for the triwizard tournament. wolfstar

One Last Goodbye by haey1 regulus and beauxbatons sirius say their goodbyes couse they know the war is going to part them

vitriol spills forth from my lips (i wish it were acid instead) by Excalis sirius bullies regulus

All That Remains by CelesteMagnolia for Artemisia_Black_95, MerlinsSequinedHotPants my boy is looking for a proper wife and oh my god he's so stupid kill me and spare me the second hand embarrassment

[killinbills]

what if holly went to beauxbatons instead of durmstrang?

omg i LOVE this

she’d obviously have less of a paranoia about things. but she’d still be really into quidditch, but also naturally excel at the more muggle classes like world history etc

like at durmstrang and hogwarts, she’d be at the top of her class. she’d get work experience at the french ministry, and then just before sixth year, she’d do work experience at the wizengamot in london…

… which is when she’d run into hermione. they’d become friends, and hermione would invite holly to visit the burrow to meet everyone else.

holly would be a little intimidated by harry at first because of the whole chosen one stuff, so they wouldn’t really talk. he’d also be nervous about her because he knows she’s draco’s cousin.

but, because she isn’t at hogwarts, her and draco never really get that close, only bump into each other every so often.

so holly visits hogsmeade a couple of times to see hermione, and harry and ron happen to be there. she becomes closer to them all, and both herself and harry start to fancy each other. he asks her to go to slughorn’s christmas party together, which is really cute — but is cut short because harry runs off to see what draco’s up to.

and holly’s like, ‘i’m not close with my cousin but i don’t wanna get involved in this’

so she stops talking to him, but stays friends with hermione. AND because she goes to beauxbatons she’s mentored by fleur who invites her to the wedding…

… so her and harry have a small reunion. but with everything going on in the wizarding world with voldemort, holly and her dad stay in the south of france until it blows over (i like the idea of beauxbatons having a university too so she just stays and studies wizard law)

but then, when she hears about hogwarts being invaded, holly goes to help fight. she doesn’t really speak for harry though until after the entire thing is over (but she does see draco and they finally become friends, protecting each other)

holly and harry would eventually start dating a little while later. but because beauxbatons doesn’t have durmstrang’s issues, there’s no reason for her to move schools. (which means she gets an education uninterrupted by voldemort which is good for her lol)

(i also like to think that maybe fleur gave holly her mini dragon so holly still has a vivien, and when she goes the burrow she shows them her mini dragon and they thinks she’s SO cool)

ask me questions!

[harmonyandco]

Writing Prompt/Challenge

Going to cross post this a couple places. Writing Prompt/Challenge: No Voldemort/Post-Voldemort AU where the Potters survived that night in Godric’s Hollow. Hermione Granger had the choice between schooling at Hogwarts or at Beauxbatons, and chose the latter after learning that the British Wizarding World was still recovering from the effects of a massive civil war (or alternatively an economic recession which has effected the school). She goes through her years of schooling at Beauxbatons and smashes numerous previous records. Earning plenty of scholarship opportunities. The question then becomes, what’s next for the bright young mundane born witch? There were a number of specialist mastery colleges, which she had considered, then discarded. Finally she decides to apply for schooling at the Magical World’s premier Mastery Level education institution. The International University of the Arcane on the Atlantean Isles. She’s accepted happily, with her wonderful marks and letters of recommendation from her previous Professors. Now all she needs in some housing. Most student get housing on Campus. However it is a little pricey and she’d really like to see more of the Isle during her time there. Which leaves a couple options. First) She could rent/share a house with a fellow student her age OR Second) she could apply to the scholarship foster program that has families of the Isles housing and aiding/educating the students under their care. She’s thrilled to discover that Lily Marie Potter nee Evans, a fellow English Ex-pat, World Renowned Charms, Runes and Rituals Mistress has an opening for a promising student who meets her exacting criteria. She meets the woman, who she’s surprised to learn is married to a senior member of ICW Law Enforcement and manages to impress. Earning a place in the student suite on the grounds of the Potter Manse. She’s pleasantly surprised to meet a fellow student her first day there. Mistress Potter’s son, rising ICW Hit Wizard Harry James Potter, who happens to be taking mastery level courses in Law, Defense and ‘something else, which he isn’t authorized to discuss’. The friendly and surprisingly humble green-eyed wizard invites her to a night on the town and sparks soon fly between them. TLDR: Hermione ends up effectively rooming with Harry at Magical University. Romance ensues. (I did not do any editing of this post. As such there may be minor errors.)

[a-sentimental-man]

Harry Potter

Baby I'm yours (until two + two is three) (Regulus/James) (i did not expect this au to blow up as much as it did, and it always holds a special place in my heart because this is the first fest i ever joined <3)

Soul-Mate Identifying Words AU: "I always knew you were meant to be a Slytherin. How did you fool the Hat?" Everyone got their Soulmate marks from the minute they were born. Regulus should have been happy to not be one of the rare people who wasn't born with a soul mark, but with the conspicuous marking on the side of his arm, equal parts salvation and damnation, he couldn't help but wish he was born without one.

i wish (i found love) (Harry/Draco)

Harry really didn't expect fourth year would turn out like this. His godfather on the run, unwillingly being entered into a death tournament, and most importantly, Draco fucking Malfoy speaking French. That, more than anything else, was driving him slowly mad. inspired by the tumblr post: goblet of fire au where draco talks to all the beauxbatons girls in fluent french and that’s the story of how harry potter lost his fucking mind

the dumb, the wild, the free (Harry/Draco)

It all started when Draco had the brilliant idea of flirting with Harry fucking Potter. Or more accurately, when he went to a summer camp for two weeks, his parents apparently determined to make him realize that he needed to survive on his own, especially since the whispers that the Dark Lord would rise had become louder and louder (Written as a prequel to I wish (I found love), but can be read as a stand-alone)

knew nothing of romance (love at second sight) (Harry/Tom) (one of my favourites!!!) (tomarry and more supernatural elements??)

Something about the forest had called to Harry ever since he had been two, him always going to the edge of the forest by himself until his parents or big brother caught him. Each of those moments, he wondered why his Mama and Papa had such odd looks on their faces, or why his brother treated him as if he would break afterward. For now, he followed the strange sensation that let him know he was going the right way, a soft tug that was comfortable and slightly hungry, though he didn't know how or why. There was a strange boy in the woods that only ever approached Harry, no one else. And there was also the matter of the lightning-bolt-shaped scar on Harry's forehead.

young god (Harry/Tom) (prequel to knew nothing - i just love tom)

Tom Riddle hadn't meant to fall in love. It hadn't really been a conscious decision—after he had seen how destructive the love - if he could call it that - between his parents had been, and how both his parents hadn't come out of it the same people they had been, he had sworn never to fall in love.

Tom Riddle, and what he came to be.

the beauty of a secret (you have to keep it) (Remus/Sirius) (first long one-shot i wrote :^))

When Remus asked Sirius to be his fake-date for them to visit his parents for the Christmas holidays, he hadn't expected it to go that well, not really. No one, least of all Remus, could have predicted how rapidly it deteriorated, especially with his long-hidden feelings that were too close to the surface.Wake Up and Notice (You're Someone You're Not) (Harry/Draco) (Unfinished and Discontinued) Draco Malfoy really didn't expect his fourth year to go like this. First, the Dark Lord comes to the Malfoy Manor, giving him no privacy and traumatic memories to last a lifetime. And now, Potter, of all people, wants to be friends with him. Voldemort, instead of going to Riddle Manor during 1994, goes to the Malfoy Manor instead. Draco or his family were never equipped to handle him in the first place. And Harry could never resist his saving people thing.

505 (Remus/Sirius)

The Hanahaki Disease, it read, is a curse that would cause its victims to discharge flowers through their mouth in the presence and when thinking of someone they love romantically, and who they believe would never be able to return their feelings. While this curse may not seem harmful at first, if left untreated, the afflicted would be forced to give up their life to the curse due to blood loss and suffocation through how the vines wrap around the victims' heart. Sirius had known this since he was eleven, eagerly expecting Hogwarts. He just hadn’t expected Remus to consume his life so utterly.

In Dreams We Speak (Tom/Harry) (The Sandman Crossover) (The sandman and tomarry, two of my favourite things)

The story of how Harry dies in the hands of Voldemort have always been set in stone. He must either die, or come back to his own life, and make of that what he will. But this time, he gets another choice: to stay and rule with Tom Marvolo Riddle, the new Dream king, who would do anything within his grasp to have Harry by his side.

could we pretend (this won't end?)

For the Prompt: Set after Deathly Hallows, ignoring the epilogue, and with Regulus already out of Hogwarts: Regulus knows better than to mess with objects in Grimmauld Place, but he has been brewing over books on Horcruxes for hours and didn't pay attention. There's a lurch and a lot of dizziness, and suddenly Grimmauld Place looks like it hasn't seen a living person in decades. There is a boy of Regulus' age though, looking exactly as exhausted and done with the world as Regulus feels. Regulus survived the cave filled with Inferi. Sometimes - like when he's hurled through time into a future that is incredibly different from his own - he couldn't help but wish he didn't.

Ending Doesn't Sound (Like the Happiest Around) (Gen)

Harry dies in the Forbidden Forest. Now his soul is stuck; he is merely a ghost, having to watch as his friends and loved ones move on without him, living the lives he didn't get a chance to, and eventually, his name becoming but a distant memory.| Avada kedavra. It was ironic, wasn't it, that the last words he expected to hear had merely only been the beginning?

On my mind girl (like a drug) (Luna/Ginny, Harry/Draco)

Ginny didn't know when her feelings for Luna became entirely non-platonic. She supposed it had been coming all along, and she, in true Weasley fashion, hadn't realized until it was right in her face.

Summertime (Remus/Sirius)

Sirius remembered when he had first met Remus; this vulnerable and precious boy who had kept catching Sirius’s eyes like no one else. He had never felt the need to be someone’s someone - his parents’ influence, mainly - but he had felt it with such intensity at that moment; to be his friend, to be his best friend, to be his so much more, to be his everything. An interlude set between Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire.

at death's door (Gen)

There was a figure haunting Harry's every move. Somehow, he knows what it is.

A twist on the usual MOD! Harry fics.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

laughing till our ribs get tough (that will never be enough) - soulmate au (it’s mostly canon compliant this far, but it’s going to get more and more not in the next few chapters)

They didn't know what Soulmates were, at first. None of them knew; even Catra, who pretended she knew everything, couldn't contain her curiosity when Kyle woke up on his thirteenth birthday and gaped at Rogelio as if he had seen a ghost.Catra and Adora are Soulmates who can share their thoughts and feelings with each other. It goes as well as can be expected.

fallingforyou (sequel to the soulmate au - let's all pretend i have actually updated and haven't had a 1k draft for the next chapter on my google docs for years)

Catra didn't know how it became a thing, but she always woke up before Adora, nowadays. It might have happened somewhere between how Catra had continued staying at the Horde after she had willfully blocked their bond, and Adora had found some friends that weren't Catra and had finally learned to relax. No matter what the reason was, it still made one thing true; that Catra always, always woke up before Adora.

An interlude, after everything.

a love song for lost youth (prequel to the soulmate au)

Do you ever wonder what it's like? Adora asked after they had sat down, Catra sitting cross-legged on the floor while Adora sprawled down, paying no heed to where her arms and legs were. Catra just looked at her, for a moment, at the way Adora was staring up at the sky, a wistful expression on her face that made Catra want to take her face in her hands and whisper, I'm here, and it's okay. It was becoming increasingly harder for Catra to remain optimistic, and not wonder whether Adora would leave her behind.

This is a tie-in to my soulmate AU, but you don't have to read that to read this at all!

can we always be this close? (fake-dating au, with a surprising lack of focus on the fake-dating part)

Catra, surprisingly, had been the first one to suggest it. When Adora had complained about her mother who had been pressuring her about settling down and getting a proper boyfriend for Thanksgiving—even though Adora had told her that she was a lesbian multiple times, something in Catra had snapped. She had found herself suggesting going as Adora's date, knowing that other than Adora having a girlfriend, Adora with Catra as her girlfriend would be Adora's mother's worst fear personified. It was the perfect plan. Too bad it derailed fairly quickly.

honey, would you like to come with me? (just fluff tbh)

"You know I can see you staring at me, right?" Catra asked, and Adora was delighted to see a blush light up her dark face, knowing that she was the only one who could get under her skin like this, who knew her well enough, even after all— everything that had happened. Their fingers were still intertwined. Adora never wanted to let go.

They did it. They saved Etheria. And in the aftermath, Catra and Adora decide to live instead.

Death Note (all of these are L/Light)

Perfectly Numb (Major Character Death) (another one of my favourites!)

numb; deprive of feeling or responsiveness.

Ryuk had experienced countless dimensions before. This was the first time where L and Light never met.

it's not living if it's not with you (series) (i love soulmate aus, can you tell?)

Light Yagami was thirteen when it first happened. First, it was a slip of emotion–more of curiosity and wariness than anything else. The curiosity-only intensified when both realized what this foreign feeling was–their tentative soul bond, calling to each other. Where Light and L are soulmates who can share their thoughts and feelings with each other.

My Hero Academia (all of these are Katsuki/Izuku)

to make you bleed (only thing i wouldn't do) (series) (bkdk has a chokehold on me currently)

When Katsuki was little, he remembered listening to Izuku explaining the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. It was one of the days when Katsuki had decided he didn't want to deal with any other people, but he had still let Izuku tag along. He still remembered how Izuku had made daisy chains while explaining the story, clearly not understanding the point of the story in the first place, but unwilling to not impart any new knowledge he had gathered. "But it's so stupid," Katsuki had said, with all the brevity of a six year old. "Why would he want to look back?" Izuku had shrugged, and settled the daisy chain on his head. Katsuki had allowed it, just this once. The look on Izuku's face when he had been allowed—surprise, delight, and fondness—had made him look away with a small "tch." At six, that was as close as he had come to understanding why.(Ten years later, he understood it much more.) The Ground Beta fight goes a bit differently. Katsuki grapples with his feelings as a result.

there's a supercut of us (MCD) (I finished reading the manga and wrote this is an hour. enough said.)

"He was so driven -” To the point that it killed him, Izuku thought, but didn't say aloud, angrily swiping back the tears that came, unbidden, to his eyes. And this was new, the anger that lurked around the edges of his heart, the urge to rage and thrash at a world that was cruel enough to let a sixteen-year-old die. “I just - I just wish we had more time. It was hard, to let go.

i wanna be yours (just straight up smut)

Katsuki couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips at that, involuntarily jerking his hips against Deku's. Deku pulled back, his eyes filled with lust and mischief. "We could always reheat it later," he said, the absolute fucking bastard. "Unless you want to stop?

MCU

if it's torn (we can stitch it up) (Artemis Fowl II/Tony) (Artemis Fowl Crossover) (i also... need to update this)

Tony and Artemis had been best friends from the minute they had met each other in a fundraising event when they were both 18. It shouldn't come as a surprise that this changed the events that were supposed to be set in stone; that Tony, really and truly, had some people who he could rely on no matter what happened, even if they weren't entirely human.

Nights were as dark as my baby (Tony/Loki)

When Tony stumbled into his favorite cafe blearily in the morning, the last thing he expected was to find a trickster god sitting in his usual place. The ensuing conversation wouldn't be the last thing he expected, but wasn't among the top either.

[weeklydrarryficrecs]

This year was the first time I actively participated in the Drarry fandom. I started this recommendation blog, and I wrote a handful of fics. 2022 had a lot of ups and downs, but all the fics I read brought so much happiness to my life.

Thank you to the wonderful writers, artists, fest mods, recommenders, and fellow fans out there. There is so much beauty and love out there, and I am grateful to have encountered it.

Below is a short list of fics that have a special home in my heart. (But, there are so many I love!!! You can also find all of my recommendations from this year here.)

Drarry Fic Short List (2022):

Vis-à-Vis-à-Vis by @vukovich (E, 50k)

Summary: Harry’s assignment was simple. Close out Draco Malfoy’s missing persons case so he can be declared dead. But  who’s making withdrawals from Malfoy’s vaults? How is a death  omen-turned-Unspeakable involved? Is an organization known as the  Moirai to blame? Harry brushes it off until he can’t. Until The  Prophet is flooded with sightings of dead people. Until Robards throws  himself on his sword. Until Ron turns on his own family. Until Harry  scarcely trusts his own reflection in the mirror and trusts the stranger  in his bed even less. Until all that stands between war and peace is Harry, a name plate, a stadium of murderers, and Draco Malfoy. God save the Ministry. Link to Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37523059?view_full_work=true

Notes on a resurrection by newleaves (M, 126k)

Summary: It was never Draco’s intention to raise Sirius Black from the dead. Link to Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18634393/chapters/44188591

A Pocket Full of Stones by @amywaterwings​ (E, 67k)

Summary:

A curse is spreading through the wizarding world, erasing memories of the war. Harry Potter is on the case! Where  Draco is the DMLE’s most wanted dark wizard and Harry is the private   investigator tasked with bringing him in. It goes as well as one might   expect. Link to Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36210718/chapters/90265783

Life skills outside the curriculum by @llendrinall​ (E, 66k)

Summary:

It was “Witch Weekly”, of all people and organizations, the first to notice and comment on The Boy Who Lived’s absence from the ranks of first years at Hogwarts. The magazine went on to elucubrate that the young hero was studying at a foreign school, possibly Beauxbatons or Holzschuhkäse. Link to Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7693897/chapters/17528833

Allegiance by Mimichan2018 (E, 200k)

Summary:

A month after the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry is a complete mess and   everyone knows it. Draco’s on trial and has it all figured out - that �� is, until Harry Potter takes it upon himself to put a spanner in the   works and they both get a whole lot more than they bargained for… This  is a Post-War story about the War Trials and Dark magic, healing and   facing one’s fears, understanding and growth, a cottage in the Cotswolds  and a can of baked beans, love and a pair of Weasley jumpers. “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only   remembers to turn on the light.” Link to Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33585556/chapters/83455573

I hope everyone has the 2023 of their dreams!

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Nobody Goes to Hogwarts (Yes, the frog writes fanfic)

If you don't want a vicious Harry Potter deconstruction, do not click. I am serious, this is for your own mental health, angry fans. If you yell at me, you will boost my content with the algorithm. I don't want your attention and you don't want me to be seen, so our goals align. Just walk away.

I started this during Rowling's meltdown, for funsies, and then it got so bad that I quit. This was always meant to be a critical take on the Wizarding World, but I decided it was better not to name-check its author or prod the hornets' nest of her offended fans. So I did one and only outlined the rest. I got hit with a poll asking if I'd ever written fanfic, and I'm thinking about how people get discouraged and stop sharing their work, so now I'm putting it out here anyway. Potter's not going away, so we might as well deconstruct the hell out of it.

These are my characters from my story, which is firmly post-Potter. I put them in her world to see how badly people like them would frig it up. I'll write the rest if anybody want's that - it's fun for me! let me know! - but I'll summarize at the bottom, for the curious.

The one I wrote is for Hyacinth, and it's set in 1945 - they are wizards, so I had to spread their ages out a bit. (I don't really know how living for hundreds of years works in Potter, and neither does Rowling, so just roll with it.) She would've been a Hufflepuff, but she never got sorted, and this is why:

Barnaby leaned against the doorway and folded his arms. “Running away from home are we?” he said. “That’s a lovely hat for it. You look as if you’re about to deny the murder of your third husband.”

“It’s Tabby’s.” She adjusted it. It gave the abstract impression of a black swan with lace trimmings and a veil. “And I am not running away,” said the little blonde girl with the suitcase. She balled up another pair of stockings and stuffed them inside. There was also a full load of comic books, a painting of a bullfight, and she seemed to be stealing one of David’s smaller musical automatons, but she had neglected to pack any dresses. She wasn’t wearing one either, but she had put on a simple linen slip and some shoes and stockings, along with the hat. “I am going to school. I got my letter.” She held up the envelope.

The gentleman plucked it from her fingers and regarded it. “Hogwarts. Aren’t you a little old for Hogwarts, Alice?”

“My name is not Alice. They said it’s all right because of my injury.” She knocked her hand on the side of her head.

“I suppose this is your parents’ doing?”

“Beats me, and I don’t think I care,” she replied. “If I need anything signed, I’ll put David’s name on it. One of his names, anyway. He taught me how to sign all of them. I’m stealing some of his money, and I’ll stop by Diagon Alley and buy myself a wand. I don’t think he’ll notice.”

“I don’t think he’ll notice the money, but he might notice when you don’t show up for dinner a few days in a row.”

She shrugged. “I’ll write him.” She paused with her hands in the suitcase. “Do you think I ought to have an owl? I don’t know if I’m really an owl person. I suppose a cat wouldn’t carry a letter, but how about a kangaroo? You know, with the pocket.”

“I don’t know, but I’m sure David would be happy to buy you one if you gave him an excuse, so please refrain.” He sat on the bed next to the suitcase and held up the letter. “You do know I went to Hogwarts, don’t you? Briefly.”

She closed the suitcase and set it on the floor. “I thought you and David were Beauxbatons boys.”

Barnaby winced. “Yes. Although I’m not sure David was authorized to be there, he may just have decided he wanted to go and showed up. If I’d read my tea leaves a little more closely, I might’ve stayed at Hogwarts and left him alone, but I don’t think I would’ve been very happy there. I doubt anyone is capable of bossing you around and I’m not about to try, but I don’t think you would be happy there either, Hyacinth.”

“What? Because of their stupid hat? I’ve got a better one.” She tugged on the veil. “Maybe they’ll fall in love and have baby bonnets. Besides, I don’t care if they put me in Slytherin. I don’t mind being evil. I’ll make the best of it. David does.”

“I think you’re more Hufflepuff material, but it’s not that,” he said. “Do you know they have house elves at Hogwarts?”

“House elves?” said Hyacinth, blinking. “Plural? Just two or lots?”

“Lots,” Barnaby said, nodding.

She began to grin. She clutched both hands to her face and then threw her arms in the air and cried, “Hooray!” She spun a joyful circle. The veil lifted away and her hair flew. “They can’t do any schooling at all if they’ve got multiple house elves, Barnaby! Why didn’t you stay? Were they more annoying than David?”

He sighed. “I never saw them, Hyacinth. Not one.”

She planted both hands on her hips and leaned forward. “Barnaby, I know you’re dumb, but you’re not dumb enough to let multiple house elves whiz past you. Don’t you even remember stepping over their weird art projects? Were they all into transcendental meditation or something quiet?”

Barnaby pointed at her. “You think all house elves are like Tabby and Herringbone, don’t you?”

Hyacinth took off her spectacular hat. “Well, I’m not racist, Barnaby. I don’t think they all paint matadors and do fashion design, but they’re both very single-minded and odd and proud of it. David would only want the best house elves around. Is there something wrong with the other ones?”

“Oh, dear-oh, dear-oh, dear,” said Barnaby. He shook his head. “This isn’t the sort of conversation I’d like to have sober, but Herring basically lives under the drinks cart when he’s not painting, and if we go into the kitchen Tabby is going to dress us and feed us — and I think they’d both be embarrassed to hear me talk about it. Hyacinth, let me sit here and explain about house elves and then if you still want to go to Hogwarts I’ll take you to Diagon Alley myself and we’ll get you a kangaroo. All right?”

She plunked down on the bed next to him and drew up her legs. Her expression was grave. “Well?”

“House elves are,” he began, and then he didn’t know how to finish. He looked up and pointed out the door, in Tabby and Herringbone’s general direction. “Well, first off, they are not like Tabby and Herring! They are quiet. They cook and they clean and that’s basically it.”

“What about in their off hours?”

“They don’t have off hours, Hyacinth!” He shook his head. “They claim they don’t want any. It’s cultural. That’s like an insult. And they don’t want money, and you can’t give them any clothes, that’s like firing them… Only it’s worse than firing them because…” He put his head in his hands and raked his fingers back through his thinning hair. “Let me start again: Hyacinth, house elves are property.”

“Don’t be stupid,” she said. “You can’t own a person.”

“But we don’t treat them like people and they’re fine with it,” Barnaby said. “I mean, Tabby and Herring aren’t — not anymore — but to the best of my knowledge they’re the only ones like that. My family had one as I was growing up and I barely saw her. And I’m the third child, so I won’t get her when my mother dies, my older brother will. A house elf is like a dinette set.”

He shut his eyes. “No, a house elf is like a slave, and they’re happy to be that way. When David gave Tabby and Herring clothes, they were miserable. They were ashamed. And they kept following him around anyway because they had no idea what else to do with themselves. They were like that when I knew him in school, two tiny people in perfect little outfits who lived under his bed and cried a lot.”

“Why did he dress them up if they didn’t want…” She put up her hand. “No, that’s a stupid question. He does whatever he wants, I already know that.”

“They usually wear tea towels and things and he thought they looked shabby,” Barnaby said. “I have no idea where he got them, you know how he is with his stories and they back him up no matter what he says, but he thought they looked shabby so he put them in clothes and they disintegrated. Emotionally. He told them he didn’t want them to leave and he’d take care of them as long as they wanted, but they didn’t believe him. He used to feed them.”

“What, like, with a spoon?”

“No, more like pets. He put plates down on the floor near his bed and every once in a while you’d see a wrinkly little hand come out and take something. The first time I saw it happen I damn near had a heart attack. I thought we had a gnome infestation or something. But he picked up the bedskirt and showed me his house elves. They even had little shoes — I mean, you know what they look like. They live here. But they’re not supposed to look like that. Tabby liked fruit salads. He used to steal them from the dining hall for her, but she’d only eat if she didn’t think we were looking.”

Barnaby sat back on the bed. “I’d known David ten years before Herringbone produced his first bullfight painting, and it was fifteen before Tabby sort of delicately asked if she could have a fashion magazine. And I have no idea how long he had them before I met him!”

“So the ones at Hogwarts just haven’t had enough time,” said Hyacinth. She frowned. “And maybe little shoes. Do they need me to bring them little shoes, Barnaby? I’m happy to do it. Tabby always says a new outfit can make you into a new person, but I thought it was a metaphor.”

“They wouldn’t take the little shoes, Hyacinth,” Barnaby said. “You’d have to force them, like David, and they wouldn’t thank you for it. They wouldn’t even consider themselves yours, so I’m not sure what they’d do. They might all march into the lake and drown themselves out of despair. They are happy being slaves and they don’t know anything else. There’s a reason Tabby and Herring don’t have any house elf friends, it’s not just their taste. They’re outcasts, because the others literally do not understand how they can be that way, and they don’t understand the others anymore.”

Hyacinth tented her fingers against her mouth. Barnaby was aware that he did this himself in his more pensive moods and felt oddly flattered. “So we have to wait until they have children, however long that takes, and make sure the kids grow up knowing they have choices and opportunities and they can go to Hogwarts too,” she said. “I think they all ought to have scholarships, Barnaby. And they should get their parents’ back pay!”

“Hyacinth, this has been going on longer than recorded history. If they do have children, and I assume they must, they end up just like the parents.”

Hyacinth slapped a hand on the mattress. It bounced. “But they live with us!” she said. “Why aren’t they forgetting their culture and picking their favourite bits of ours to copy? Like we stole Christmas and curry!”

“I don’t know, Hyacinth,” he said. “But nobody’s extremely keen to find out because they work for free.”

“So what we have here,” said Hyacinth, “is an entire race of people consigned to a lifetime of servitude, right up until someone decides to dress them in clothes, and then it’s like they wake up and they have no idea what to do, even though they’ve seen how other people live freely.”

“Yes, rather.”

“And they can, in fact, learn how to live freely themselves, but not until someone dresses them up, then it’s like they’re starting over from square one.”

“Yes.”

“As if they were under a spell,” said Hyacinth acidly. “Not unlike one of those curses that gets you locked up in Azkaban, except nobody does anything about this one because it gets them a free cleaning service?”

Barnaby rubbed his eyes with both hands. “You’ve put it a bit more bluntly than I would, but I still feel badly I didn’t do anything about Hopscotch.”

“This would be your house elf you grew up with?”

“Yes. I mean, to be fair, I had no idea Tabby and Herringbone were possible back then. It’s only since I’ve seen them grow up that I wonder about poor Hoppy, but I’m not allowed to go back and get her. Legally.”

“Because she’s property,” said Hyacinth, practically melting her way through the bed.

“She’s rather attached to my mother too, she does have feelings!” Barnaby cried. He sighed and looked away. “She’s a person with feelings.”

“We’ll wait until your mother dies then,” said Hyacinth, in a matter-of-fact tone that Barnaby found borderline offensive, but not as offensive as slavery. “But Hogwarts owns their elves and they could free them and pay for a good alienist anytime they wanted and they don’t.”

“I’ve written them letters but they never reply,” Barnaby said. “They printed the one David and I sent to the Daily Prophet but they called us both crackpots and sexual deviants.” He laid a dignified hand on his chest, “I am not a sexual deviant. I just don’t give myself airs when other people are.”

Hyacinth picked up the suitcase and threw it on the bed. “Looks like David will be paying for my private tutors at least until I’m old enough for the W.O.M.B.A.T.s.” she said. “I’m perfectly happy being held to a lower standard in education, I have better things to do than school, I just thought I might like a wand and a kangaroo. I’m glad nobody knows where the hell David came from with his money and my family is in no way respectable.”

“Your family is quite ancient and respectable, Hyacinth,” Barnaby said, blinking,

“Those twits at the estate in Devonshire are not my family,” Hyacinth said. “They decided they’d rather be respectable than have a matched set of daughters, so to hell with them. I’m going to go give Tabby and Herring a big hug!”

“Hyacinth!” Barnaby called after her. “If you don’t put on a dress, Tabby will tie you up and stuff you into one of hers!”

“This time, I’ll let her!” Hyacinth yelled back.

[Well, I think that formatted all right! As for the rest of the Hyacinth's House Mob: Barnaby got sorted into Ravenclaw in 1914 and got ejected for cheating - he made it obvious because he preferred the future where he ends up at Beauxbatons, little knowing it would include David. Room 101 broke the sorting hat with, er... his/her/their/it's abilities, in 1931. Mordecai fed a Malfoy a bar of soap on the train, was horrified wizards don't seem to know who Hitler is in 1933, stalled the hat, and fled in terror after being assigned Gryffindor. Sanaam (Ravenclaw, never sorted) ran into the Forbidden Forest to have a look at the animals, in 1950, and never came back. The General got sorted into Slytherin in 1952, contrary to her wishes, and demanded to know why they have an evil house, before choosing to continue her education with her abusive mother. Milo (Gryffindor, never sorted) got dumped in St. Mungo's in 1977, due to his significant issues, because Hogwarts doesn't do special education or accommodate disabilities. Calliope (Ravenclaw, never sorted) chose not to answer her owl for similar reasons in 1978, although her whole family is wacky so they don't parse autism and ADHD as disabilities. Maggie (Gryffindor, never sorted) also chose not to answer her owl after some discussion about the virtues of resisting the system from within versus refusing to participate. Erik got sorted into Slytherin in 1992, and was dragged home by a horrified Mordecai after writing one letter home about how all the "pureblood supremacy" wasn't much fun. Lucy got sorted Ravenclaw in 2000 and got dragged home by Calliope after writing one letter home about how there weren't any art classes. And, finally, in 2006, Dave (also a potential Ravenclaw) did not answer his owl for reasons which will become obvious, but are a bit spoilery for my readers. By that point, Hyacinth's house would have advanced owl defences anyway, so I might've been able to cite that as a quick gag without ruining the surprise.

But I haven't written any of that out for real. I will do so ONLY if you tempt me! I really wanted to do Mordecai's, that one would probably be the longest. "...Oh, I'm only a bit worried because I'm Jewish, that's all!" "What sort of a wizard is that?" "...It's a bit like an Animagus. When the stars are right, I have the ability to turn into a pastrami sandwich." "Let's see it." "Can't, I haven't had my Bar Mitzvah yet. ...Here, have another one of these Muggle candy bars, Mr. Malfoy."]

[theunknownpoetssociety]

chapter two! tons of fluff for this chapter, hope if you check it out you like it! </3

Summary:

It's his last year of school, Regulus is so close to being free of his family, once he's done with school it'll be just him and his friends, forever...unfortunately the Triwizard Tournament has different plans for him.

OR:

Regulus goes to Beauxbatons and competes in the Triwizard Tournament along his biggest competition, James Potter.