#hardest classes in college
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#one of my silly little goals this year is to talk more about my accomplishments even though they aren’t super recent#I’m tired of resigning myself to being a burnt out former gifted kid. I studied at Oxford for a term.#I taught a college class. I TA’d for two other college classes. and volunteer TA’d for the department’s hardest course offering#because I was already being used as a TA that semester for a different class and the professor still wanted someone to run review sessions#I had professors fighting over me to do work and research for them! I had departments fighting over me! I did summer research!#I was the first person in my department in nearly a decade to ask to do a senior thesis. for fun.#I ran programs and clubs and I was a writing tutor for the writing center AND the resume lab/career center#I was the only person in my writing professor’s tenure to earn a 100 on my research paper for that stupid fucking class#in high school I was second in my class and did it while writing one-act plays for production and doing district choirs and acting#I’m so so so tired of beating myself up and falling to my knees and doing penance for the past 4 years.#I fumbled some stuff at the start of my 20’s. I’m an adult with ADHD that no one clocked while I was growing up.#I was supposed to go to St Andrews for an MLitt and then the pandemic happened and I had to withdraw.#I just need to get over it and stop agonizing over every misstep I’ve made since college#otherwise I’m never going to make it out of my 20’s alive#so yeah. for those of you who don’t know! I am a silly cumdrunk braindead good girl PART-TIME#the rest of the time I’m clawing my way back to the high standards I set for myself from first grade onward#my stuff#ignore me i’m rambling
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One fun detail in the illustrations is the Tughra in the library!
Another architectural side quest here but the Tughra is basically the signature of the Sultan, like an official seal to show that it's his building. You would see it on all sorts of things in Istanbul, and it's very neat that Keith Thompson included it in this illustration. Just some lovely attention to detail.
#lily liveblogs leviathan 2024#leviathan series#leviathan trilogy#welcome to another architectural sidequest#I took a class on Islamic Architecture in college and it was fascinating but also easily the hardest architectural history class I had
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Sorry for slow moving content/communication. I love to write, it's no obligation and if anything I'd prefer to write and draw over school anytime.
I'm just a little depressed right now, school and work together are making me very tired. I'm failing some classes and I feel very a little down because of it, I wish college wasn't so hard :-(
#i feel like this is the hardest I've ever worked in my life#I've always been considered a 'gifted' child growing up#I was in honors and AP#so failing for the first time really stings#I've never been this sad before#I've been told it's not the end of the world but I'm scared#It's all still new to me#i hope i can retake the class#i hate ranting sorry please block the 🩹 tag if you don't like seeing it >.<#I want to have the energy to write sooo very badly#🩹#💬#i love my job it's not hard and the people there are like family#job is not the issue for those wondering#Does anyone have any experience with failing a college class?#I'd love to hear from another person's perspective#Because to me this is the worst thing I've ever experienced
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I don’t get why people feel like the Duolingo owl is threatening, if I ever feel like he is I just get mad at him. I could fight an owl. I don’t know if I’d win, but I don’t think I’d lose (two things that can apparently coexist). I think I’d survive at least and that’s not really winning but also not losing.
You wanna be so threatening? Da bør du drepe meg!
#emma posts#I used google translate for help because they haven’t taught me the phrase ‘kill me’ yet#taught me the word for beer øle but not the more important words like ‘kill’#as far as I can tell everything else in that sentence checks out so I figured the translation was good enough#not sure if it’s in the right order or if you use better that way in Norwegian. but good enough for a tumblr flop post#Emma’s adventures in using Duolingo#I should honestly use that as a tag for it#I post enough venting about that app#until I find out if I’m dyslexic for sure and there’s a way to help that with other languages. I’m not going to pay for Babbel yet#Babbel has Icelandic lessons too I think and that is my final boss tbh#I’ve been going from easiest for English speakers to hardest as my plan#and it turns out that I forgot how much some of my issues affect learning new languages#last time I learned another language it was Spanish and I’m not fluent but I’ve had classes and been around it for so long#that i kinda forgot what it’s like to start from scratch#I didn’t start trying to learn Norwegian until I was 26#or was it my 27th birthday? I could check my streak#I was like ‘psh. it will be harder with my disabilities. but I should be able to read. my top priority with this language’#and then I realized I had been somehow adapting to the other two languages since childhood and forgot how much I had to work around#I mean. I knew I was worse at language arts in school than I was in literature and writing. but still#I also already knew I was worse at making new sentences in other languages than I was figuring out ones that someone else made#but I thought that was just because I hadn’t used Spanish much for several years now#every time I try to re-learn Spanish it just ends up with me being able to figure out what someone said to me but not how to answer#if i brushed up on it again i could probably have a conversation with someone who understood English but better spoke Spanish#someone with the same problem as me but reversed language wise#please don’t take this as me saying I could currently have an entire conversation with someone speaking Spanish#I’m better than someone who never learned it and didn’t encounter it’s use a lot. but I really don’t think I could have a real conversation#not at the moment at least#I have been meaning to brush up on Spanish again too. there are at least real classes in my area for it and not just an app#the last time there were Norwegian classes around here my dad was in college and old people still spoke it#no one around here speaks it anymore
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It never fails to amaze me that week after week, the table that I busted for copying off each other keeps writing down the same ideas as each other (in their own words this time, at least), but. Like. The ideas are still wrong, so they're still getting mad points off. Like who in that group is so bad at science and yet so confident that they're all getting pulled off track, week after week?
(props to the one girl at that table who didn't copy (or let others copy her) and manages to ignore whatever wildly incorrect shit the others are flinging around, because I can't imagine that that's easy)
#teaching#some of the answers this week were great and some were like. how tf are you in college at all#apparently some students have said in the past that this particular class (lecture + lab) are the hardest class that they've had here#and it's like... this is middle school science#with maaaaaybe some dabbling in high school science#how fucking easy are the non-bio classes on this campus that's what I want to know
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not to be like “i miss college” even though i do but mostly i think i miss being smart. before depression and life events had chewed up and partially swallowed my brain. just getting to problem solve and think, being Very Into something as the norm. i know being an english major is basically the easiest thing you can be at the undergrad level but i do feel like that was the one and only time in my life where my natural state was actually a pro instead of a con. i graduated with the highest honors and absolutely no one cared but i cared
#aster chat#family life exploding exactly one (1) month from graduation is still just. it. god. it was almost seven years ago and it still hurts#SO much. i had worked so hard to graduate with the honors i did#i took a 400 level history class in my 2nd semester with one of the hardest humanities profs and i got a B#i basically lived in a break room for a whole semester because my misophonia was so bad with my roommate at night#i stashed pillows and blankets behind a couch and slept there to stay sane enough to write my papers#i got so close to Ending Things three times and DIDN'T#my professors LOVED ME#and then graduation came and it was just. over.#went right back home to sit between my parents as much as i could and get yelled at and watch everything go down the drain#like as soon as i walked out of college i stopped existing except as something for my parents and my job to use up#like. i know it's cringy to still be thinking about college but that was the last time i mattered as myself. you know#people liked me because of my brain! my thoughts! not for what i could do for them or for a paycheck#me qua me#okay lmao Antidepressant Time bye#no offense but my english classes wouldn't have made me feel weird about saying 'boon' instead of 'pro' up there#i changed it to not sound like an assclown but my profs would have thought it was funny.
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please send me asks
i need to distract myself from
✨the guilt✨
ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
#irl kai#i am trying my hardest to not get more alcohol#bc i know its bad. and i will feel shit#but i dont feel shit when im drunk#therefore#drunk for ages = no guilt and bad feelings#but i know thats not what i should do#so ✨distraction✨#maybe i should sign up for a remote college class? idk what i would even study…
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I’m freeeeeeeeee!
#finish my college semester#hardest one so far with one impossible class#it feels so surreal I feel like I’m gonna cry
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My thoughts on the Stoic Seneca and on taking showers
#my art#my poem#poetry#latin#poem#original poem#seneca#stoicism#roman empire#roman history#latin prose#lucilius#ok so.. imo this is not the best poem I’ve written but it illustrates how I’ve been feeling for the past couple of months#I feel angry at myself and depressed and envious and all the things this roman asshole hates and I’m so ashamed#my therapist says not to view my feelings as a weakness and I’m trying so hard but it doesn’t work and so I had to write this#my latin career is almost over this is the last semester I’m taking latin and so it kinda feels like I’m breaking a part of myself off#I felt the same way senior year of highschool when I took my last art class#like.. I’ve been taking latin since I was 14 and I’ll be 19 in a couple of months#I think the hardest part of college is picking your priorities and when your depressed you can barely prioritize bathing yourself#and you are alone in your decisions.#I feel like I’m giving up now that I’ve decided to stop taking latin but I just have other priorities#so I think this poem is an odd to that part of myself#*ode to that part of myself godtdamn autocorrect
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ok im listening to the doc and wow this dude really needs to move on from the 80s and get a life... BUT also the doc is trying to make it seem like all teens in the 80s 'identified' with these characters? is that true for you guys? i never did. but i also didnt identify with clue*less or even vero*nica mars which was pretty solidly my era. the doc is trying to claim that this hegemony of 'identification' is a good thing and that the multiple options of today is making it harder for teens to relate to each other as a group. but the doc is saying this from the pov of a rich white dude. i would argue that today's much broader representation - watching a korean american girl starring in her own teen girl rom com where she is shown to look past the racism of the 80s movies in order to enjoy sixteen c*andles.... I think that is a million times better than what came before. the definition of who could tell stories in the 80s was so much more narrow, it was absurd. and to all the boys was blatantly critiquing that. it was supposed to be sad that lara jean is forced to endure stereotypes just to get her movie romance fix. it's also notable in that movie that lara jean identified most with books, where you could kind of imagine a main character however you wanted even if technically you knew they didnt look like you.
tldr my question to my other 30 somethings would be if 'br*at pack' was ever a bad thing in your lifetime and if you actually identified with these kids in the movies who seemed to have no direction or care in life beyond their tiny little suburban world. cause that was certainly never me as a teen lol. fascinating to watch and fun to imagine living as but not relatable.
#jrnlsht#its like people who think miss swifts music is enjoyed by teen girls because they all identify with it#rather than it just being an appealing ideal and simple narrative to enjoy more than real life#also EVERYONE i knew growing up looked at the bra*t pack affectionately like breakfast*c*lub was idolized#it was a good story! it was fun to watch!#maybe 80s kids really did grow up that sheltered with a small world?#growing up in the 90s we were painfully aware of our place in the world and that even as children we had to have goals in life#and that there was no time for fucking around#but we also had 9*/11 and the poltical fallout which sparked debates at the middle school lunch table#i imagine teens nowadays are probably even more aware of global conflict around them than I was#or maybe my group of friends were just weird and everybody around us were clueless without our realizing#i dont think so though i give teenagers more credit than that#i mean i was younger than 10 when people started asking what college i was going to#not my parents btw im talking total strangers#my dad never put any pressure on me to do anything it was not his style#his style was disappointment if i ever put a toe out of line lol#like yes of course you arent going to college sure thats fine but still if you dont take the hardest classes and#get straight As you will shame me#which 100% worked i idolized my dad#and then i went to one of the top colleges in the country like it was easy 🤣
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every day passes and i just get stupider
#realizing i made my last quarter of college the hardest one and for what. not even taking any major classes#could end it all right now
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i don't even want to take half my classes that im registered for autumn quarter
#this is just me spitballing here -#definitely need to take the security related classes that i want to do and even if i did dogshit at databases i still want to take the next#-class in the series bc i heard its more programming#also maybe the instructor won't suck that was a huge part of it#and im dropping data science im sorry i can't do algos i can't do machine learning. fuck cs theory im not into that.#but the question now is - do systems (which would give me a leg up in the security track) or do animation capstone (which is cool)#downside of systems is that theyre some of the hardest programming classes and i have to do group projects#downside of animation is that i missed the ball on most of the stuff and its a lot of classes in a sequence. also group projects.#(or neither and fuck off and do the global health minor or take english/art/architecture/philosophy classes just for fun idfk)#the stem major's curse#the last humanities option is looking nice rn maybe i can also take a bunch of public health stuff too#i actually kind of want to enjoy college even if im a commuter with no friends#hm ok i will go look for some classes later today#the data science stuff really screwed me over im glad im free of that at least#milk (normal)#i am kind of the ''mid at everything'' guy so no specialization for me or else i get bored and start attacking myself with hammers#and i change my mind about who i am and my personality every few months so thats really fun to deal with.
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help me me a college decision
Essentially I'm a biochem major, but I signed up for a minerology class for funzies (and also because I'm considering a minor/double major in geology). But this particular class is very time consuming and difficult, and I'm already taking a chem lab and organic chemistry. I love the content and the TAs are amazing, but idk if it's worth the time and money.
#please i am begging you#i literally cannot decide#ive been deliberating dropping it for a while now#also#important to note that he gives two page quizzes and you only FIVE MINUTES to complete them#also ive heard this is the hardest class in the geology major and i got the hardest professor#so hooray for me ig#not aftg#oh look she speaks#college#biochem#biochemistry#school#tumblr polls#poll#polls
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I will post more art soon I promise <3
#ness yells#idrc about constantly posting art all the time#it’s something I wish I could do all the time!#but yeah. real life#I have to make a full 2 page comic for one of my college finals by the end of the month too so that’s probably going to replace the time#I spend on doing silly fan arts for fun#it’s not the hardest thing I have to do (looking at my law class) but it will be very time consuming since I want to make it look good#I’m also having the adult dread™ about everything right now so that’s fun!#oh what I would do to just pursue my interests for a living instead of having to worry about. responsibility
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I never would have put you down for accounting. You do math????
i know 😭 i do do math
#i took an accounting class in high school and ended up liking it a lot for the math and organizational purposes#found it kinda soothing??#that being said my actual college courses for it sucked lol do not recommend#i got into it for the numbers but the classifications and stuff is the hardest part to me#my dream is to have my own lil coffee shop or something so at least i’ll have that background to support my dreams#we will see how that goes though sbnxjcnx#tinkerbelldetective#asks#my posts
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research
#ive been thinking about auditing some community college classes once im done studying for my certification#and. im not going to lie. the two i thought hardest about were video editing so itd be easier to make amvs.#and Thesis Of Choice in film studies. for superna#etxt
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