#hard to remember but i must

[ratbastarddotfuck]

btw y'all my notification checking compulsion used to be so bad that I'd go through every LIKE in my tumblr notes to see what posts people were liking. even if they weren't mutuals, if I didn't know them, if they were total strangers. I STILL go through all the tags, though that's more of an information-seeking thing. it can be hard to tell what's compulsive and what's not sometimes. but the likes thing was utter compulsion and I hated doing it at the time. it felt time consuming and boring but it also felt like something I Needed To Do because I Had To Know.

I had to break myself of my notification checking compulsions bc they were absolutely ruining me. that's when I turned off push notifications for every single social app a couple years back. For a while I just started opening my apps more to check them. But I also made a knowing effort to Not Do That, even in the face of the discomfort of not feeding my compulsion, and it worked! and then eventually when I did open my apps, I just started looking at the relevant stuff, bc I didn't want to waste my time. I broke part of the compulsion. It feels good to remember that I did that before I even realised it was OCD I was dealing with lmfao. That I AM very capable of facing my compulsions and telling them, No.

Another, deadly part of the notification compulsion is the dreaded Discord Server. I was in so many servers I didn't care about getting so many pings. I was making it my solemn duty to check every message in every sever every day. It was time consuming and not okay. In some cases the answer was simply to leave the server or mute notifications. In some cases, where I was still getting pings for certain things that I wasn't necessarily interested in for servers that I DID want to stay in for whatever reason, I discovered that the answer was, well... sometimes you just have to let your notifications fill up. It's really okay. Let them build up. Stare that compulsion in the face and tell it to fuck off.

if I ever send a screenshot of my discord, people tend to balk at how many notifications I have. or my texts, with unread (spam) messages. people will say "omg how can you live like this why aren't you checking your notifications why aren't you clearing them!" and holy shit sometimes I just wanna throttle em. because in doing this, not only are you feeding my compulsions, but you're creating your own! and if I say "well yeah I have OCD and I'm trying to break myself of the notification checking compulsion" I'll often get the response of "oh... well that's great but I couldn't live like that lol". MY FRIEND!!! YOU'RE PUTTING YOURSELF IN THE CHILLI!! FREE YOURSELF FROM THE SHACKLES OF COMPULSION!!!!!!!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT!!

Waugh. My point is. You Can fight your compulsions. They don't have to rule your life. I have done it and I am doing it constantly. It works and it does feel better. You just have to be willing and able to tell yourself No and sit in that discomfort for a while.

[thebrainrotsreal]

BACK ON MY INVINCIBLE MLP CROSSOVER JOY!!! I love this crossover smmmm, my soul is happy, cured even, treated of all possible ills. For Andressa's species, instead of relying on a horn for magic (which they don't have), every filly is bestowed a gem for magic! AND, because I want it, Oliver has some winks to Andressa's designs with the swirls on his legs mimicking the lines on hers, sharing a thinly tail, tiny little bumps like spikes, and the curls sorta kinda maybe like her antennae (if you squint and believe, which you should). Andressa and Oliver ilysm. Best purple pony on the planet tbh, sorrry not sorry Twilight Sparkle :/

Bonus drawing of Oliver trying to practice magic by lifting a sheet of paper, he's trying his best, ok???

[cybertron-after-dark]

Being constantly surrounded by the presence of a loving God sounds great until you realize you never know when his freaky fuckin eyes are gonna show up to check on you.

And man. They do it a LOT.

[kaurwreck]

Ranpo appreciates Dazai for his insights, not his pain; which yet further evidences that Ranpo is brilliant and the rest of us are idiot babies.

[virgil-upinthestars]

post ep 5 - SPOILERS

okay okay okay i think billy yeeted them out of the road. we see jen clawing up from the dirt in trailer footage, i think billy just chucked em back to westview. i don't think he's quite there at murder yet, seeing his last conversation with agatha, which? slay king. as a witch and practicing pagan, love him. "no, not for me" you take that negative energy and turn it right on its fuckin head sweetheart. but also please for the love of the gods don't get carried away, don't commit murder, your father would probably have a stroke even if your mother would sit there yelling you're doing great sweetie!!

also i think the reason why rio wasn't there in the last scene was bc she was collecting alice's body. now i'm imagining her walking out, seeing billy standing there alone with lighting coming from his hands and a scarlet witch crown like

[allmightyscroll-swag]

Shout-out to @onejellyfishplease for creating a fic that my brain latched onto so violently that I think of it on a weekly basis

Man, i can't imagine having the feeling of something literally buzzing under your skin writhing to be let out let out let out- being comfortable.

Original sketch below cut;

It was way more moody but I was like. no . The boy is overwhelmed the arts gotta be BRIGHT and EYESORE-y

[fromtheseventhhell]

Remember George's outline notes that had "joy of giving" and "mercy at the gate" for Arya? Mercy is crossed out and we obviously have that as her sample chapter, so what if Arya's next alias is "Joy"? Over-thinking the significance of that phrase and how it could apply to the rest of her Braavos arc🤔

[manglam-marfach]

dyke!Chilaios has me understanding breeding kink all of a sudden

[radioroxx]

What do you think Odile does for a living? She feels teacher like to me. What do you think she would do post canon?

HMMMM THIS IS GOOD QUESTION…

ive seen a lot of people hc her as a teacher / professor so i!! think that suits her pretty well. specifically as someone who studies + specializes in different types of craft (that would be why shes so proficient in multiple craft spells. also how she was able to figure out the loops stuff, AND to find something that could prevent siffrin from looping back).

post canon i am not sure… i am always torn between how the party would handle things post canon. obviously they would keep travelling for a bit, odile alongside her family without the stress of. constant sadness encounters + a king to kill lol. i think maybe she would get to take her time, reeaally get to know vauguardian culture when not within. a crisis. as was her original intention.

eventually. EVENTUALLY. when the family settles down somewhere (i am a “they all get a big house together” believer lol) she would get back into craft stuff. maybe go back into teaching too—surely people would be eager to hire a saviour. especially though i think it would be neat of her to try looking into wish craft etc, as a long forgotten form of craft. to satisfy her own curiosity, for siffrins sake, or just as a way of preserving the countries culture in whatever ways possible.

[apricotopera]

so so interesting which kh characters believe in fate and which don’t. so interesting that nearly all of khux is person after person saying ‘ok but there’s gotta be a way out of fate right like There’s a way out?’ and there is not even a little bit. so interesting that xehanort believes so much in fate above all else that he’ll travel back in time to be the catalyst for the worst parts of his own life. so so interesting kairi in melmem telling xehanort that he’s the one that ruined her fate. Man.

[d4rkshad0w]

do we think Jem and Tessa know Oscar is haunting Cirenworth??

[voyagerxv]

Shenanigans.. in MY Chaldea?! More likely than you think.

[fisheito]

which yakuroom am i voting for??

proooobbabbly (in order of preference) 1. vampire yaku (i REALLY wanna hear yakumo lash out. AND the goofy mirror training) 2. idol yaku (lots of lore in this one, along with potential for snake-language yakumo. bonus: panicked whisper yaku in R1) OR 3. iced coffee yaku (give me more of that dulcet service voice)

deliberations under the cut

when they launched the poll, my immediate answer was SHADOW LINEAGE YAKUMO! I WANNA HEAR HIM SCREAM AS HE PLUMMETS FROM THE CLIFF but, not so hasty... did he ACTUALLY scream while hurtling to his doom? after i checked the rooms, no. no he did not. in fact, he was quite coherent throughout the crisis. that simply will not suffice. so, scrap shadow lineage. i must now go through room by room...

Things that , voiced, may INTRIGUE me? 👀👓:

White day yakumo: - eiden's weaponised incompetence while yakumo teaches him how to stir 😁

Idol yakumo: - blade and oli!! - yakumo ?happy!? it feels like it's been so long - yakumo speaking ancient serpent language - i can see the appeal in hearing yaku sing [ancient mating ball music], but i kinda prefer letting my imagination do the work. hmm...

Count drakumo: - yakumo losing his temper with eiden (I WANT TO HEAR HIM LASH OUT AT PRECIOUS EITO-SAN. JUST ONCE) - eiden talking about his hidden scalp scar and past anger issues - garu and aster!! often talking about food!! - eiden saying affirmations in the mirror about himself :)<3 - yakumo being forced to repeat eiden's compliments about his stamina and cuteness 😂

Nerdkumo: - some extra lines of being nervous and flustered never hurt anyone

Shadow Lineage: - a loooot of backstory but it's from Great Serpent POV/outside narrative, so it's not as relevant voice-wise - if they could squeeze in some distress noises every time yakumo nearly dies , that would be great

umbrella yaku: - yakuei being scared about ghosts and clinging onto each other - baby yaku? but... he's just crying again, in a pitched up voice probably. not the MOST interesting for me 🤨

Mermaid yaku: - the stupid sappy moment where eiden lies on yaku's lap and gets his tummy rubbed and theyre all disgustingly sweet n whispery

Iced coffeeyaku: - rei and blade!! - confident service yaku voice? talking with customers??? - yakumo switching between his calm happy-to-serve mode to being DEAD FLUSTERED by eiden's advances - idk something about yakumo acting as little coffee boy with a jingly collar .. bringing back this relevant line from the aster/yaku fic:

[savebylou]

Carlos from Big Time Rush talking about when One Direction were openers for their tour and the impact they had with the fans [the unplanned podcast, 27.03.24].

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I heard this put so well, but hearing somebody say that conversion to judaism isn't just about the good - torah, being part of a peoplehood, the fulfilling parts - it's also about joining the tragic. You join the people who went through the shoah, pogroms, displacement, and all of this throughout history. It's a really scary thought, and I don't imagine it's any easier for jews post-conversion or born jews.

Learning to balance the sense of scale of jewish history with the joy of torah and peoplehood is something that's difficult. The joy must outweigh the horror though, I think. But knowing all of this has made me confident that I am making an informed decision, which makes me even more confident

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

i'm still in the warmup phase but have a very important announcement to make:

i forgot how to draw luke in a way that makes him luke.

um. shit.