#hands up who thinks shes coming back
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and just like that she’s gone…
#❲ windows of the soul ❳#hands up who thinks shes coming back#good god that drama had my head in a spin#like the coincidences were coincidenting a little too hard for it not to have been her?#idk guys#moral of the story be a good person#and the way she used to preach about tumblr clique-ness when sHE was the problem#for the most part people on here are nice
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ijbol idk man releasing screenshots of very polarizing things said in a private discord server between friends in a public "callout" post is #the most #tumblrific thing ive ever seen LOL.
#opinion 😱 in tags
#our life#gb patch#gb patch games#our life beginnings & always#i also think it should be acknowledged that the white queer 'experience' and the black queer 'experience' are totally different#bc there are multiple occasions where GBLady has recieved an ask where shes accused of Something bc of a super specific issue#this whole situation is just the biggest case of GetOverYourself ive ever seen icl#i think rose is entitled to their opinion as a black trans person + a person who previously identified as a trans man#i think its easy to attack rose as an inflammatory person who 'purposely incites discourse' bc they dont use that super-pacifying#everyone is welcome on my blog tone that if not used is immediately interpreted by white people as hostility and rudeness#i don't agree with a lot of their takes that ive seen on their blog that were allegedly posted BEFORE they became a sensitivity reader#but irdgaf#bc its their personal blog and theyre entitled to their opinion and i don't believe u get to feel insulted or slighted#or deem them as unprofessional and inflammatory just bc they didnt speak to u on their personal blog as Nicely as u wanted them to#i just think this all leads back to a growing sense of entitlement in the gb patch fan community#esp among the our life fans#just bc this is a deeply customizable game doesn't mean that the dev can customize Every Single Thing to ur liking#it also doesn't mean that ignorance on the devs part or the staffs part in most capacities is purposefully discriminatory in nature#like no offence but wdym 'ur hands are shaking and u need to get offline' bc of all of This... please grow up and go outside#also This is controversial but a lot of yall use the fact that GBLady is a white cis woman who happens to b writing stories#with a very diverse and nuanced cast to railroad ur ideals on how the characters should b written#and if they don't meet Your personal experience as a member of that marginalized community then They are automatically written incorrectly#again just a very entitled community IJBOL#idgaf if u disagree come and kill me over it 🤷🏾♀️#but also im very curious abt what people think !! 👁#i also dk how to phrase this but the white gb patch community also Reeks of this strange entitlement and i hate to say it but . . .#Sensitivity ??#they have this weird almost parasocial relationship with GBLady + this fantastical relationship with the characters themselves#LOL idk if anybody gets what i mean
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just realized all over again that harding and rye never got to talk about varric. when he got out of fade jail she was gone. she's never coming back. they never got to talk about it. they will never get to talk about it. they spent all that time together, they became so close, and still they never got to meet in a world where they could both talk about it and now they never will because she's gone too. she'll never know he felt it just as deeply as she did, that she wasn't alone in it. millions dead thousands wounded in my heart and brain right now it's just a bloodbath in here
#worst part is I think rye kind of resents neve a little bit for being the only other person left who knew varric...#but not in the way he needs not in a way that would ever help them connect (which they already struggle with real bad sooo...)#which is so fucked up of him but grief doesn't care about logic or fairness or playing nice. and it isn't even about neve#none of this is her fault. of COURSE it isn't. her only crime is who she isn't. he just wants harding back :'(#(I mean he would never in a million years tell neve this needless to say but the undercurrent is there)#it's just awful and sad and unfair for every single person involved in this situation I'm. dying#maybe. maybe someone should write to the kirkwall crew or something to alleviate this situation b/c poor neve doesn't deserve this lol#adaar at the very least they can at least connect over both harding and varric. head in my hands. I'm so sad#lace harding please come back I miss you always I'll even suffer fereldan cuisine for you with a smile I promise#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#lace harding
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but fr outside of my contracted madness i absolutely refuse to give joe alwyn gold rush like how is that song at all related to their relationship the lyrics clearly spell out a relationship that either never existed or only existed in implication and fantasies and maybe-maybe nots and its so bitter and yet desperately soft in the bridge where it almost projects a sense of envy, of wanting to be them as much as you want them. It continues an interesting oft ignored lyrical trend of taylor wanting just as much to be her lover as to have them, envying their easy charisma (you were flush with the currency of cool/i was always turning out my pockets) or quiet dignity (your integrity makes me seem small) dating back to her earliest songs (the kind of flawless i wish i could be). Theres a projected self hatred and yearning to be better that twists itself into both romantic and sexual lust for her partners thats so fascinating and speaks to how all of her songs regardless of who theyre about are also an act of self reflection on who she is and who she wishes to be.
#barry.txt#taylor swift#putting this in the tags as a form of self protection but make no mistake this is a gay thing to do especially in gold rush#which through simple context clues is Obviously About A Woman or maybe even women in general#whivh is a totally seperate post on how taylor constructs and uses gender identity in her music#her girlhood and femininity are earnest but also so carefully constructed and so high effort and kind of desperate#shes a deeply self concious and obsessive person who never looks comfortable in anything ever unless shes#onstage or like. by herself in loose jeans and a tshirt#i think thats one of the things that subconsciously irritate ppl when it comes to her shes constantly and clearly putting in effort#to appear As The Celebrity Taylor Swift and struggles not to self censor or overperform in interviews (when she gives them)#especially present in pre 1989 interviews where the interviewers really didnt have to respect her or worry abt how they frame her#if they didnt want to. Like the fearless era rolling stone interview where she almost has a meltdown over her mom buying eggnog instead of#milk. That whole interview is strange looking back not just bc of the weird misogyny but also because of what it does share#taylor is....weird. She has a strange and desperate vibe and always reacts slightly too much and uses slang poorly#shes media trained and has learned how to socialize but you can feel her discomfort whenever she doesnt have a guitar in her hand#idk these tags have once again gotten so unweildy. i just find it interesting that she finally feels some level of comfortable#in sharing that construction w us in songs like mirrorball and mastermind and imo gold rush#and scene#should i write this up and put it in the swiftieism zine#i should write something and put it in the swiftieism zine
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dyke!Chilaios has me understanding breeding kink all of a sudden
#chilaios#that's a lie i understand breeding kink very well lmao#HOWEVER IT MUST BE SAID#they finish up a great scene. hot lesbian sex. all going well.#and laios lies back with her eyes closed. still flushed and sweaty. she rests her naked hand on her naked lower stomach and says. 'hah....#'did you know ...that tallmen and halflings can have kids together?' Like its just another fun monster fact.#she's trailing her fingers absentmindedly over her stomach now. tracing idle patterns.#'with our lifespans being so similar it isn't even as big a deal as it is for elves and humans. they're even fertile and that's ...#that's really rare for hybrids.' her eyes are still closed. she swallows hard. She's more red now than she was when they fucked.#'you should talk about that next time you're in me. i'd like it...' and she cracks one eye open a sliver#to see chilchuck . BEET. RED.#because Chilchuck DID NOT. KNOW.#She was already fucked out and now she's dying?? she's dying. Laios still has her huge hand resting on her huge smooth stomach#miles and miles of soft skin...that she wants chilchuck to put a BABY in#she's thought about the hypothetical lifespan and safety of the hypothetical baby! is this just a sex thing? is this a for real thing?#chilchuck does not know and does not know which one she's hoping for now!! cause both sound GREAT#AND OF COURSE THERE'S ALSO#chilchuck remembering that conversaion next time Laios's huge huge fingers are inside her. Laios's hot wet breathing by her ear.#Laios's breathing going ragged even though no one is touching HER she is the one toying with Chilchuck right now. She always does that.#between the breathing and the fingers and the warmth and the smell Laios is all around her and she just thinks -#'Laios is so huge. Laios's baby would be so huge. I'd be so huge. Pregnant with it.' And she cums.#rattles her to her fucking core. Chilchuck who HAS BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE realising. holy shit.#i want this fluffy haired socially awkward 26 year old doggirl to . to fuck a baby into me. in a sexy way.#i think . I think it's hot.#enough to turn you to drink isn't it!#u may ask - hey how come chilchuck has a girlcock and has got pregnant? can laios get chilchuck pregnant?#does anyone even have a womb in this situation? I may answer - don't worry about it#a wizard did it. whatever. its a fantasy world.#whatever is sexiest in the moment i don't care#lesbiance
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#twdg tennessee#twdg tenn#twdg violet#the walking dead game#my art#hc that tenn has glowy stars on his ceiling that vi & aj helped him put up#their hug reunion scene NEVER leaves the depths of my mind. the amount of times they’ve make me actually cry yall#& just the thought of after that vi coming back alone & having to break the news to everyone & grieving over tenn hurts me so bad bc she#would take it the hardest#do you guys think she was the one who set up tenns grave :(#mourning the loss of the possible tenn flashback scene also rn head in hands
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beauty and beast au but Claire’s the one cursed because she’s the only one I can see literally pissing a sorceress off enough to get cursed. (If we’re going off the original movie Jim would probably offer them a hot meal and a room for the night, knowing him he’d make everything super accommodating)
#are we seeing the vision or have I lost my mind#Jim would literally drop everything to help this literal hag who waltzed through the door#Claire would..not be doing that#bonus points if the witch is Morgana then they’re throwing hands#I could see her trying to offer a deal like say she’s after Claire’s magic and sevitude or something and when she refuses boom Morgana#curses her and everyone else that’s in the ballroom at the time#And because it’s Morgana she’d probably make the curse super difficult to break#so like by the time she’s 18 if she doesn’t agree to serve Morgana when the last petal on the rose falls she dies with the rose#so Claire’s kinda given up on hope cuz she’d rather die than give Morgana her magic#Barbara’s a traveling doctor so her and Strickler set off to another town for a trip and get caught in the snow storm#and they get locked up for entering the castle and trespassing#Jim goes after them because they don’t come back the day after#instead of Claire keeping them there though I think she’d just give all three the chance to leave with some pressing from her friends#Jim ends up rethinking his decision due to the fact that Toby even as a cursed object can’t for the life of him keep a secret#when he hears the castle is under a curse he’s immediately interested in helping#even if Claire really just wants this nosy human boy and his parents to be on their way#oh shit I think I just wrote another au#trollhunters#tales of arcadia#jim lake jr#claire nuñez#toa#jlaire#this was just chillin in my drafts for awhile#avi rambles
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ninjago seabound hurts. so much. what the fuck
#ninjago seabound#i think this might be the thing to get me drawing again#we shall see#also im very close to crying haha#she turned. into the sea. to save him#and like. the city and all their friends too but he was quite literally dying and the only answer was for her to become one with the sea an#and she#and he sees her after having the water taken out of his lungs. he sees her out the window and she sees him and they put their hands on#either side of the glass. and he doesn't yet know what she did. what it would cost#in the fight later. he sees her explode and takes on kalmaar with blind fury#and then she's back- as a dragon now- and she explodes again and comes back as a bigger dragon and#how can he think anything but good things? he knows what she did now but she's so strong. so invincible. ofc she'll overcome the odds#she'll keep herself together! she will. he has to believe that#and then she wins. and its all over. and everyone's saying they'll just have to get used to her watery body for now#until they find a way to turn her back.#she doesn't understand. she doesn't remember who she used to be. is actively losing the battle to retain her self#and they plead. all of her friends. her master. her Brother.#and him. Jay. her boyfriend.#and there's a moment. a single brief moment where she turns back.#she smiles and holds jay's hands. she caresses his cheek.#and just as quick as she came#she left. jay screaming her name as she dives back into the sea#and then the funeral. because what else do you call it but a funeral.#they call all of her friends and family. they pour seawater in an urn. they hold a service of sorts.#and i'd like to imagine each person feels responsible in some way. for not doing more. for not being as convincing to her.#some feel it more than others. Wu is- was her master. Kai her brother.#and Jay. Jay was her-#out of all of them Jay beat himself up the most. because what good is love if you can't convince them to stay?#woah sorry about that i was possessed by angst#also i feel like you could tie in Jay's abandonment issues with his birth parents here if that wasn't clear <3
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ok kind of an insane ask so feel free to ignore but would you be able to translate "友達バリア" by deco*27? i can't find any translations online and i wanna see if i'm right about the song kind of fitting the matsus... it's also a banger imo
- vocamatsu anon
omg.... tbh i have a feeling deco will make a video for this one which means we'll get an official english translation of it, rendering this completely redundant, but i'm really cheesed to have been asked, so i gave it a shot for you anyways <3
youtube
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
The despair of never getting anything more of this Your behavior, nor what's going on in your head- I can't read it at all! I can't help but envy the kindness you radiate Omnidirectional compatibility- it's just not for me
Carefully-picked down-played words The outcome: A bloody heart True feelings double-crossed by embarrassment; how frustrating, I'm changing sides But that won't fill up my heart What I want is nothing more than to be by your side If you've got something to say, then say it- 'til I defeat you, that is! 3, 2, 1!
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
I want you to like me! I want you to like me! Friend-zoned, love fire, hey, say "I give up"! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
Fun things, good feelings- without you, they have no taste at all Sadness, jealousy- if they're cuz of you, then I don't mind them Let's throw down, bro! Better to regret doing it, than not doing it at all! A feeling like I won't need any special moves, YEAH I'm sure everything will be OKAY With an endless supply of love, you're undefeated, AYE Play dead, BYE BYE I'll be the one to throw the first punch
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown The lonely and timid me is already no more! With a dazzling, blazing flair, I'll burn through your defenses!
Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!
Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!
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my notes:
my overall interpretation of this song is "I'm trying to break through the friend zone (friendship barrier) so that you like me instead of thinking of me as a friend", so any vagueness in translation went in that direction
The use of "lock horns" in the official translation snippet + the HAO motifs give me the mental image of like, a hand-to-hand kung fu battle, so I leaned towards that imagery whenever there was vagueness (as opposed to like, a military campaign, for example)
deco's official english translations tend to be very liberal, so i tried to keep my translation a little more literal
#translation#i dont really like the use of 'friend-zoned' for the official translation of this#in general deco's english translations seem to favor localizing over keeping original meaning which i usually support wholeheartedly#but i feel like their en localizations sometimes lack a colloquial understanding of how these terms come across to english speakers#like the Vibe. i dont know if they grasp the Vibe#like on the surface 'friend-zone' seems like a reasonable localization for this concept#(Actually why is the localization the adjective form? shouldnt it be the noun? tomodachi barrier = friend zone? well anyways)#term for when you can't advance a platonic relationship to a romantic one + the term 'zone' is often used in fighting and battles#but colloquially i feel like this term has more of an Incel Connotation#due to its use being most popularized among men who see women as a prize they can win if they put enough effort in#+ its usage furthering the underlying expectation that women should date a man because he likes her regardless of how She feels abt it#of coures i know this is not the literal definition but again. the colloquialism. the Vibe. i really value the Vibe in localization#it gives off more of a pathetic desperate entitled vibe than a determined lonely feisty vibe which is what i personally got from the song#but vibes are subjective of course and dependent on one's personal experience#and who knows maybe that IS what deco's going for. i may very well be missing some japanese colloquialism as well#anyways as to if this fits the matsus.... well. they dont really have any friends in the first place do they#except totoko who repeatedly and easily beats them in hand-to-hand combat#i guess it could be atsutodo if you were full of whimsy#(suddenly coming back into the room) BY THE WAY I HATE HAO#I THINK HE'S TRYING TO DO THE THING WHERE HE JUST MAKES UP WORDS/MEANINGS BECAUSE IT'S THE KANJI IN SUKI#IT'S JUST AN EXTREMELY COMMON CHINESE WORD AND HE'S USING IT IN WAYS THAT SOUND SO DUMB AND WEIRRDDDDDDDDD#“a never ending HAO sweetener battle” <- WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE HAO HAPPEN? DONT PISS ME OFF#IM LIKE PRETTY SURE HIS TRANSLATOR IS EN/CN/JP TRILLINGUAL TOO SO WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE HERE#anyways thank you for the ask. mwah. i hope u enjoy this
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i haven't had time to write lately but i have been aggressively thinking about ariel/ashur.
#pov you are the fantasy pope and youre already fairly uncomfortable with slavery#you have a few sweet interactions with the most beautiful woman in the world who. as it turns out.#is the slave of the guy painting your New Pope Portrait. he is horrible to her. you make your discomfort and disgust with him evident#somehow he always ends up directing it back at her violently. you make small efforts to be kind to her to make up for it.#a few days later you snap at him and he snaps at her. you find her that night near the top of the argent spire ready to jump#and she is soaked in blood and shaking like a crusty white dog. you think its hers. it is not. she tells you plainly that she killed him#and that she would rather die by her own hand than face what comes next. you talk her down. you wash the blood off.#a dozen clerics saw him offend you earlier. it would be the easiest thing in the world to suggest that you ordered his death.#it is easy. you felt suffocated by the structure around you. how can you change it from within exactly? like this. easily.#youre a man with many strings at hand and the lightest tug of one means life and freedom for another.#the microwave is spinning so quickly#carly.txt#carly's ocs#oc: ariel
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is episode 8 the domitian arc ? more on this and EVEN MORE narratives i’ve been ignoring that the show said “actually,,,” about in 5
#hermes staying domitian’s hand… hermes’ face a flash of discomfort when he was torturing tenax… hmm. character growth.#WHAT WAS THAT HERMES. WHAT WAS THAT LOOK. NO GIRL GET BACK HERE I CANNOT ALSO DO THIS NARRATIVE OF YOU NO LONGER ABLE TO PULL HIM BACK FROM#THE BRINK OF HIS CRUELTY WATCHING HIM CHANGE AND SEEKING OUT SOMEONE ELSE IN HIS NEED AND FEAR AND ANGST. NO BABY GIRLLLL#I DON’T WANT TO WRITE A HERMES POINT OF VIEWWWW OF THE SIX YEARS HE SPENT WATCHING DOMITIAN BLOOMMMM INTO HIS POWER AND CORRUPTTTT because.#correct me if i’m wrong but in that very first scene that was a young hermes in the white right he watched domitian give his speech and saw#his father to truly see him the whole time as hermes has seen his brilliance.#NO I ALSO SAW THAT GUARD’S HEAD FOLLOW HERMES oh i hate it here. you know what i also hate? i need domitian to be successful for tenax#but also i do kinda like titus… NOOOOOO NO KILLING TITUS DOMITIAN I JUST SAID I LIKED HIM!!!! DOMITIAN!!!#oh. ohhhh no. OH NOOOO okay listen we can redeem this. we can have the whole turning point of the narrative be domitian’s mercy of hermes#the ultimate staying of his hand. proving he’s not entirely gone that hermes & his love still means something. do i think this will happen#no absolutely not. before he can kill his brother domitian has to kill the only other living person he loves perhaps more than titus if he#could ever realize it. (a brief interlude to yell LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO HI IRIS) domitian… please spare him… OH WAIT HELLO THE BLOOD!!#ALSO a brief interlude to say i knew it was coming but ELIA’S SPEECH ABOUT LOVING INCITATUS??? I WAS ON THIS INCITATUS SHIT WITH THE LITTLE#NOD THEY HAD WHERE SCORPUS CALLED HIM TO BEAT XENON OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!! elia’s going to crush him. incitatus won’t listen.#scorpus is going to die twice once when they call elia’s name instead of his and then the second time when the scorpion bites him again#(he kills himself and tenax finds him. sorry to give everyone absolutely maximum damage here but uh. that’s how i can see it going down)#or alternatively worse: after killing titus who at times he loves and hates in equal measure (if y’all don’t think I have some UNHINGED#brothers quotes. we’ll keep mum here about why but suffice to say it is. relevant to other fandoms. and thus i have a Collection) the last#thing domitian has to do is kill hermes. and this one is both out of betrayal but also love because I think somewhere in here titus’ queen#berenice plays a role because domitian’s hatred of the jews probably comes to play a role and I think titus would show up and protect her#like Domitian engineers some kind of a situation where in theory titus could escape alive or beat him but he can’t do that & save berenice#and so of course he saved berenice. or she dies in his arms and he goes mad with grief and any way you put it berenice is the trap & titus#happily crawls into the lion’s mouth to save her for love of her etc and domitian sees him die for it. he gives titus every chance to come#back to him to work with him to be what he wants him to be and he always chooses himself he chooses love and domitian can’t understand even#when it makes him weak. and then he sees hermes dirty and emaciated and still terribly terribly beautiful and feels such a pang of longing#and love that he decides he has to die because he (domitian) cannot be weak. he cannot have any of it. also giving domitian worse paranoia#than he already has because if you kill your brother the one person who should always love you—support you—who can build me a new brother—#you’ve gotta generate some MAJOR issues. namely trust issues. and if he kills hermes they’ll be even worse. so like ideally To Me domitian#wouldn’t kill him but i do very much see the symbolism of cutting off his last earthly tie & desire to ascend to the divine imperial throne#those about to die
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Me and my freaking ship charts for my freaky mind
#I'm gonna rant about them in the tags a lil bit so bear with me#I really like the idea of them taking turns “spooning” each other (or just one laying on top of the other idk)#bc they listen to each others' heartbeats since Lisa's dying lmao#and idk where losa being taller came from#but her canon height says she's 5'11 and i believe it honestly#and kind of the same thing with her being trans; i just think it's a neat character study#especially since we dont know anything about her past or who she was before the game's events#and i didnt rly know how to mark Jean's flirtiness levels because Jean flirtation is VERY different from Lisa flirtation#hers is much more unintentional or very charming like a kiss to the back of Lisa's hand or dancing her around her office when it's late#and she speaks formally too which adds to the unintentional rizz#Lisa cant help but fall for her fr#and i think they are the embodiment of the “fell first fell harder” trope#Lisa falls first and she's content to watch Jean from afar bc she knows how important her job and Mond are to her#and then Jean finally catches up tripping falling bleeding all over ripping her heart out to show Lisa how it beats for her#altho i think it was hard for her to come to terms with it especially since she doesnt want her personal life to interfere with work#so she has to find the balance first#and Jean also knows that being flirty is just who Lisa is and that they are both extremely loyal to each other#but Lisa gets pushed a lot probably when other women start hitting on Jean a little too much#and they're both equally overprotective of each other especially out on dangerous missions#but Lisa feels like she HAS to protect Jean more bc of her importance to the safety of Mond#this is just me rambling tho im literally so in love with them bc theyre just so soft and the wives ever#i am the most sane jeanlisa shipper actually#ty for coming to my ted talk#jean gunnhildr#lisa mici#jeanlisa#genshin impact#ship chart#character art is mine
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I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.
#delete later#I know I’m not a good friend#but i think it’s trauma related#and I know that’s not an excuse#but a reason#and I’m just… also tired of people leaving me#I don’t strike up conversations anymore cause I was the friend who always did so#I was always the one making the effort to be in other peoples lives#and it sucks. ya know.#and sometimes I say dumb things that then like….. makes people not want to be around me I fear#and like…. yeah…. that’s part of life#but I’m just so tired of being alone#I want friends. I want people to send post cards and letters too#and I wanna hang out with people#and I want them to tell me things I want them to tell me how they are feeling#like. online friends are great!!#don’t get me wrong!!#but I know I’m not a great online friend either.#and when I try to be I fear I come off as flirting. like sometimes I am. don’t get me wrong#but I wish I could just… go to a friends house and sit with them and hold their hand when they are having a bad day and have the same done#for me!!!#I am always giving…. I am always giving parts of myself to people who don’t give themselves back#I still know my ex-best friends favorite color but I doubt she knows what mine was when we where friends#if you read this far just…. ignore it oof.#it’s just a rant#sometimes I rant in a tumblr post cause reading rants back in old journals is. bad. for my mental health#my adhd just picks the emotions right back up and then I go through it again. so it’s best to tumblr rant#I’ve also been having complicated gender emotions again#I don’t hate the idea of being a woman/girl as much as I used to. and it’s throwing me off a bit#I mean it’s right on time really… I have a gender crisis almost every four years…
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I Believe...Steddie
I normally don't mind angst (though I avoid drama fics in general). Miscommunication is the biggest trope in romance, so I'm all for it, but for some reason Steve x Eddie fics / drabbles where Eddie still thinks of Steve as Steve THE KING Harrington always sit weirdly for me. Sometimes, if the Upside Down didn't happen (AUs in general) or pre-UD setting, maybe -- sure, then that could work. But close to canon fics where Eddie lives and Steve legit confesses to him? Always just -- strikes me as wrong.
Finally realized why -- it's literally the antithesis of canon Eddie. Canon! Eddie is quick to acknowledge Steve has changed. He literally runs up to him in the Upside Down while a bunch of madness is happening and where he has every right to be consumed by his own shit-tastic situation, but instead, he's telling Steve how he is a great guy and has changed.
Can Eddie be bitchy and prejudice? Yes.
Does Eddie have grudges against jocks / the popular crowd? Yes.
But he also goes full on bowing gentlemen for cheerleaders (going out of his way to help Chrissy and make her smile) and he's quick to acknowledge Steve's not that same popular AH anymore.
With Steve's bitchiness not aimed at him, Eddie would be eating his Honeycomb and snickering when old habits popped back up, and maybe he'd feel conflicted about jocky Steve, complaining about going to games or something until somebody smacked some sense into him. Totally believe tension and disbelief about one liking the other or some bias about things, but I just can't see Steve proclaiming his love or whatever and Eddie assuming it is a trap or trick or prank or something.
Maybe he'd think Steve was confused. Maybe he'd assume they were doomed, but I can't see him blaming Steve for that or blowing up their relationship IF Eddie accepted the confession and they started dating. Eddie's way more down on himself.
If someone can explain how it makes sense, please do. I'd love to enjoy all Steddie tropes, and that one seems popular lately, but where my brain sees so many problems with them getting to the confession point or even a number of big arguments that could happen afterward due to outside aspects, those two strike me as highly tactile, highly clingy romantics who would be convinced they were the height of discrete while practically fused, constantly touching and being snide little judgy dudes together.
#steddie#Steve x Eddie#Eddie Munson#Stranger Things#Only way Eddie doesn't see how Steve's changed is if the Upside Down doesn't exist but then Steve might not have changed#the second Steve asks him out Eddie is 100% in#won't accept anything different#Eddie is a drama king but he's the the sort to be clingy and pushy and cause problems by being too tactile and obvious in a homophobic town#which is why I 100% believe fics where Eddie and Steve fight over Steve refusing to come out or leave Hawkins#Despite also 100% believing Eddie would understand#frankly I fall for all the tropes EXCEPT Eddie not believing (in a canon compliant Upside Down having universe)that Steve has changed#where are my double date fics with Eddie and Steve taking out two girls only to get dumped because they spent more time chatting themselves#What about the fics where Eddie sets Steve up with a metalhead girl only for Steve to be like 'wow I'm super into this'#but then he realizes partway through he is 100% imaging she's Eddie#Or Steve setting up Eddie on a double date only to have a 'oh no I fucked up' moment as he realizes halfway through that he loves Eddie#Steve: Cool Eddie might score (*and it was at that moment he realizes he fucked up) I don't want Eddie to score#Give me hooking up duo who 'just like making out' and 'just aren't ready to get back out there yet' who feel pressured to do so#and they end up throwing hands over it and banging#Eddie: So...that happened. | Steve: Do you think Dustin was right? | Eddie: No way that butthead is right. | Steve: But what if he is?#Eddie: Obviously we can't tell him. | Steve: But we can still make out right? | Eddie: Fuck yeah#Give me dumb bets between guys friends inspired by Steve trying to relate to Eddie like he used to Tommy
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came to the realization that i'm probably always gonna be the ugly friend
#or maybe its just that my friend is gorg so i pale in comparison (she is. and i probably do)#might be a good thing in hindsight cause that means dudes will leave me alone for the most part#even though there were also a couple dudes bothering me tonight but not as much as they were bothering my friend#but then again like. drunk dudes at clubs will try to fuck anyone#actually nvm scratch that im more than happy to be the ugly friend if that means creepy dudes will leave me alone#anyway. i was literally about to throw hands more than once like LEAVE MY FRIEND ALONE BITCH#there was a man who asked her multiple times if she wanted shots and she said no every time like HOW MANY TIMES DOES SHE HAVE TO SAY IT#GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS BUDDY.#also. at some point i had to drag my friend somewhere else bc there was a dude who i think touched my ass a few times.....GROSS.#i still had fun though#there were a couple times where i was dancing and throwing it back and my friend would come up behind me and get SO close WHRBWBEHW#i kept thinking girl.... if you weren't straight and didn't hate being touched i could've done much worse 😌 jkjk#anyway that was my night. it's almost 7 am holy shit goodnight 💋#raquel speaks
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Sometimes I just look at Isabeau and just know that if isat came out and I got into it when I was like 16 he would be my favorite character and I would've gone absolutely buck wild over this man and feel like he was laser targeting me. But alas Odile has a grip of steel on me rn due to her virtue of being a middle aged woman
#rat rambles#stars posting#I feel like the biggest change in my taste in characters as the years have gone by is Im now far more biased towards old ppl lol#although tbf I was also the one person in 2016 who actually liked asgore so maybe Ive always liked parhetic old ppl#but yeah the reason isa is past me bait is because hes an exploration and subversion of the sort of tropes I Hated as a kid#and I still dont like them so isa still appeals to me its just not as much as he would have to a younger me#I do genuinely love all the party very dearly tho theyre all soooo good#I think my favorite part of isabeau is how like. of everyone we get to see the least facets of him but like in a very good way#this is a man who hides and bottles shit hes so fun to rotate#his self image is so carefully controlled compared to everyone else which makes him an incredibly interesting character to analyze#and I love that despite him seeming like the most emotionally stable person here on the surface he still clearly has like. hashtag issues.#like he's in that beautiful zone where its so so fun imagining what it would look like to truly break him#<- normal things that normal ppl say. like me.#I may have my very light beef with alt looping aus as a concept but hes probably the most interesting alternate looper to me#also my light beef exclusively relates to king quest stuff which is why Im a big fan of duo looper aus with sif#but honestly. isa might be the only one that I genuinely think works better as a solo looper even with taking king quest into account#although bonnie comes close. I <3 looper bonnie I <3 seeing fictional children go through the horrors#I think theres a lot of fun to be had with any alt looper au tho I just am a huge king quest fan so I like it when my favorite elements of#it dont have to be handwaved#but yeah the real question is how would younger me feel about mirabelle#because on the one hand: acearo character#but on the other hand: I have always been a little hater abt romance so idk if younger me would rly be able to follow her character well#I wasnt exactly good at character analysis back then lol#except for the instances in which I was but I dont have that sort of faith in my younger self#yknow Im thinking abt my history of favorite characters now and I think me being one of few 2016 alphys enjoyers might have been a prophecy#she was my quote unquote third favorite but in reality she was second#I think she chara and peridot su teamed up to define my taste in fictional characters for the next several years#and somehow that lead to olivia becoming one of my favorite fictional characters of all time#I say somehow as if that isnt a very natural conclusion
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