#hands on learning is much more effective im blown away by how much i got out of one class. i can’t wait to do that again :’3

[sacrificethelamb]

<3

[reineyday]

bnha characters as volleyball players (au headcanons)

i have never in my life played volleyball outside of gym class and the occasional beach jaunt, so this is all based off of what i learned from haikyuu LOL

anyways, this started as tags from this fanart by @syblatortue​ of deku, kacchan, kiri, sero, iida and shouto as vball players, and then it got away from me so if you wanna read 2.9k worth of headcanons about powerhouse athletics high school UA then go ahead and press “read more” :)

deku's the calculating setter like kenma and he fanboys over stats from the international to the national to the high school

kacchan used to make fun of him and look down on him bc he used to think too much on court to move properly, and as a kid kacchan used to think that it was spiking or bust so he always gave deku grief and bullied him over being slow and weak

in middle school kacchan was a starter since first year and eventually became the ace but deku was always second string setter

his athleticism was nothing to write home about but he was just good enough to make the bench

in their middle school tournament their starting setter got injured and deku had to step in to set for a match for the first time ever

powerhouse volleyball high school coach yagi toshinori is watching and he sees all the aborted plans in deku's setting choices

he sees the gutsy sets that miss and the one successful dump he did that threw everyone off-guard (even deku himself), and yagi remembers what it was like to be hungry for volleyball seeing the look in this kid's eyes and he recognizes the brain on him

their team loses there though bc the fact is that deku wasnt athletic enough to do it and kacchan is yelling and deku's crying

but yagi approaches deku (who freaks out bc all might is THE legendary vball player of their country, and the nation was SHOOK when after getting severely injured by a malicious spike in the wrong place he chose to coach high school vball, even if the school was a powerhouse school and also his alma mater lol)

but anyways deku babbles and fanboys even through his tears and says he got into UA but he's not sure he can make the vball team, and yagi says he sees the potential in deku's plays and if he trains hard every. single. day. from now until the tryouts at UA, he might make at least the bench

(cue montage)

kacchan is angry to see deku at tryouts and fuckn RAGING when deku more or less keeps up bc deku got buff since their last high school match

unfortunately for kacchan he is actually the one most familiar with deku's playing since they trained together in middle school too, and he almost pops a blood vessel just thinking it but ever since deku started actually being able to get to the ball in time, vball has been more fun ‘cuz the things deku ends up doing are fucking batshit crazy and his sets are begrudgingly his favourite to hit

deku sets right where kacchan can just hit the ball as violently as he can, and it sounds like a bomb goes off when the spike hits the ground

(kacchan also obviously has the best serves and he mixes it up with the power ones like his ap shots, or floaters when he's strategic; he knows how to read the opposing team and either wait or serve really fast and serves up high to blind them like his flashbomb explosions, and he’s really arrogant about his serves but at least he can back it up as per classic kacchan)

anyways they become a really intimidating duo, apart but especially together, because despite the way deku still occasionally cowers from kacchan’s rage and kacchan is often yelling and antagonizing deku, they can read each other really smoothly on court and they match each other really easily, and they both go for the really gutsy shit no one else would think to try (like samu and tsumu going for the freak quick with samu setting kind of gutsy)

kacchan is also antagonizing af and calls the other team extras lol

but yeah, those two along with renown olympic vball player todoroki enji's son shouto are the three most intimidating first years at UA

enji has a very aggressive playing style and where he targets people on the opposing team specifically to make them sweat, makes them feel like he’s hot on their heels even from the other side of the net, always glaring, always strong

shouto hates it and hates the way his dad made him train day in and day out just because he had a good reaction time and instincts for the ball when he was young

fuyumi and natsuo were slow as kids and got immediately dismissed bc of it bc to enji if they werent athletic enough for the ideal vball playing style as children then theyd never be athletic enough to beat all might’s vball career and metrics in the future

touya was fast enough but he overtrained and strained his knees and then continued straining them to play anyways till they were permanently damaged, and by the time he graduated middle school, his doctor put him on orders to never ever ever do anything that might be overly strenuous for his knees ever again

anyways, shouto plays very cool and detached, like even when he spikes the ball right into your face you’ll feel like he wasn’t looking; he’s a middle blocker like suna, stays calm but uses his whole body

deku eventually convinces him that playing with fire every once in a while, especially when he spikes, can be a good thing because at the end of the day, his dad may have taught him the tricks but it’s shouto himself who’s playing, and so it’s not his dad’s style, it’s his own

also the spikes just aren’t as good or as psychologically effective if shouto’s not 100p IN it when he goes to spike one of deku’s demanding sets

and im gonna say shouto is ambidextrous but more comfortable with his left hand in this volleyball au because shouto’s left side is his fire side, and it’s more parallel to the character to make his more aggressive spiking hand his left one but still have him be able to use his left hand for spikes too (it’s also SO stressful for opponents bc angles)

also yes he does indeed only play with his right hand (his ice side) when he gets into UA, and is initially very hellbent on proving to his father that he can become a pro vball player without being as aggressive as enji on court and without using his more dominant hand, the hand that his dad’s been focusing on whenever they trained at home, the hand he’s spent hours and hours spiking and serving with since he was like five years old

one day deku notices shouto’s writing with his left hand and then connects the dots and sort of badgers him into spiking one of his sets with his left hand too and then yeah shouto tells him his life story and deku manages to emotionally coerce him into being okay with his left-handed spikes

(shouto also feels better about it when deku points out the left-handed angles thing)

so yeah that’s the big three scary first year starters: calculating and gutsy deku, who occasionally makes plays so gutsy he’s at risk of twisting one of his limbs in a very scary way (he’s always bruised in weird ass places from volleyball); raging, aggressive but also cunning kacchan, who is undoubtedly the loudest on any court he’s on, and ambidextrous hot and cold shouto, who does a pretty solid general defense with little holes but has scary aggressive spikes

btw shouto’s got a fanclub and they call him the volleyball prince

also at one point they totally play a practice match against shiketsu and UA loses bc inasa starts antagonizing shouto for being exactly like his father (inasa asked for enji’s autograph after a match once when he was a kid and got rudely blown off) and shouto gets offended and starts targeting inasa and then they get outplayed (it was a close match though ‘cuz both of them couldnt get their heads out of their asses and both their teams were suffering as a result)

alrighty, the other players in that fanart lmao!

kirishimaaaaa my dude my bro, super solid libero, always pumps up the team, and his defense is unbreakable! will receive even the scariest, most powerful spikes and smile cheerfully through it; will always insist that you’re manly for playing with everything you have and never letting fear get in the way of going for it

his middle school had a huge and scary substitute gym teacher who didn’t have mercy and spiked hard right to the faces of the students, and kiri really wanted to run forward to receive the spike and yell about how unfair this teacher was but he froze because the spike seemed unforgiving and if he received it wrong, what if his nose broke? what if he fell and broke something from the impact? mina didnt pause though and she received the spike and told off their substitute teacher and then reported it to their homeroom teacher and it was so manly of her, he promised himself he would never hesitate just bc of a scary spike again

btw mina’s all-around athletic and could probably make it onto the girls vball team but she’s probably on the UA dance team (UA is a powerhouse school for many sports, and theyre famous for their athletics department bc they often hire (former) pro-athletes to teach and coach)

iida comes from a family of sprint runners and he’s the one they trust for the most running; he’s their first year decoy and he’s fast af for such a big guy, and he often also provides extra block support from zooming left and right

also enjoys helping out the managers and corralling his team into being good students; he’d offer to tutor kirishima but kiri seems to have fun trying to be friends with bakugou lol; he makes it known that he’s there if kiri wants some extra patience to go along with his studies though

sero guess blocks so accurately people like to say that he’s got tape coming from his elbows, bringing the ball straight to his arms so that he can block; actually he’s pretty known for having weirdly accurate control bumping the ball back from places other than his hands (esp his elbows though), like he’s just so aware of his body, and he uses everything he can to keep the ball off the ground so he’s good at general defense

some other people i wanna mention:

aizawa’s their supervising teacher and the first year homeroom teacher (he gets to hear bakugou explode both first thing in the morning AND right at the end of the day, oh joy); all might just coaches ‘cuz he does other former pro stuff during class time, so he somehow ended up in charge of the volleyball club after the previous teacher stopped being able to

he never went pro but he’s a black belt mixed martial artist, and he still does those parent-child karate classes with hitoshi (who is now close to black belt and on the demo team, since they’ve been doing this since hitoshi was like five) and eri (who just got her yellow belt! aizawa is soft)

only hizashi, nemuri, oboro and his kids know this but he’s also REALLY good at doing aerial silk and he looks graceful af when he does it

hitoshi started kinda learning aerial silk when hizashi took him to a rock climbing place that had the silks on the ceiling (dont at me, there’s a place EXACTLY like this where i used to live lmao) and found out they offer classes there, and hizashi laughed and said “yknow your dad is pro at those right”

ochako is their first year manager, and when everyone is confused about kacchan continuing to call deku something so mean, she talks about how the nickname is cute and gives off the impression that he’s trying his best and when deku grins and blushes and seems to be happy with it, the whole team starts calling him deku with the same intentions and fondness behind it

every time other people hear UA calling their starting setter “deku” theyre so confused

nejire is the third year manager leaving and she does gymnastics and dance outside of school

mirio is the ace and his thing is that he is very strong and very precise, and he moves like he phases through the other players

tamaki is a middle blocker that can adapt all kinds of playing strategies pretty fast as long as he’s got time to digest them and decent food in his stomach—he’s a great decoy ‘cuz his spikes are hard and he’s pretty fast too, and while he prefers read blocking, there are a few times he guess blocks and it’s accurate af and kinda scary honestly

tamaki and mirio are also pretty fearsome ‘cuz people start off scared of mirio’s power spikes and serves (btw his goal is to spike a million service aces LOL), and then tamaki kind of surprises them ‘cuz he seems to be able to just? do everything??? (and theyre extra surprised bc no doubt he’ll be talking himself down and doubting himself before the match and the opponents will think like “oh good he’s mentally weak” and he kind of is but also holy shit??? we got blocked AGAIN???) and so they sort of only keep a peripheral eye on mirio while they start focusing on tamaki, and then all of a sudden mirio’s not where you thought he was and how’d he get there so fast and there other players in the way??? and then mirio spikes one in

this isn’t really related to anything else but you BET mirio can bend low and do insanely accurate bump receives from pretty close to the ground like! his thighs and knees are legend

we don’t really know any second year bnha students, but i’d like to think their starting team isn’t just first years, so i’d say like… hm or mb tamaki is starting setter (all the stuff about adapting and easily digesting strategies still applies, as well as his flexible skillset, it just now includes setting) and mirio is his ace, but all might puts deku in a lot more than you’d expect a bench player to be subbed in not only ‘cuz it shakes up the other team to see such a meek-looking kid do these gutsy-ass sets, but also bc it’s good for tamaki’s mental health that he feels like he’s got a really great setter right there supporting him as well, even though he knows (objectively) that he can hold the fort on his own

so yeah, id say tamaki and mirio for sure starters (mirio is captain), kirishima’s a starter (he’s always been really good, he just used to get a little scared off in matches sometimes, but since the thing with mina, he’s been really gunning for it, and also conveniently their last really good libero graduated the year before and they didn’t really have a good backup), shouto’s a starter (he’s lowkey mad about it bc it feels like he’s fulfilling his dad’s legacy and he doesnt want to be), and probably two second years, that feels fair

bakugou’s benched bc his temper’s still a little too unwieldy for the court (much to his dismay), sero’s still patching up holes in his defense, and deku could stand to watch other people’s playing styles, but u bet theyre all fearsome af when theyre on court: deku seems to be the only one that seems to be able to bring out shouto’s terrifying spikes for now; after their first qualifiers, rumours fly around the vball circuit about his angry pinch server that’s so mad he’s not a regular, he takes it all out on his serves and rip the team that has to try and receive them

well okay, so bakugou is the only that i can qualify as actually fearsome bc even when he’s being intimidating sero is a pretty chill dude, and deku looks too nice to really be scary so the opponents usually arent scared until he starts playing and then for them it’s just this internal monologue of “what the fuck? what the FUCK???”

and sero, while chill, is the type to be aggressively cheerful and grin really wide after he blocks and gives you, the opponent, really supportive feedback that sort of still offends you but in a way you cant refute because every word he said was nice and his demeanour was nice too and yet? you kinda wanna strangle him??? and then he laughs winsomely and blocks your next spike too (like, “awh i noticed you have a tendency to follow here when xyz happens, but better luck next time right? that’s usually a pretty good play”)

and of COURSE their school banner says “plus ultra”

ANYWAYS i went OFF lmao i can’t believe i really wrote 2.9k of headcanons for this

i have waaaay more ideas about what the rest of the class and other characters are up to in this au that is powerhouse athletics high school UA so if for some reason you got all the way to the end then thank you and please interact if you wanna talk more about it!!!

[elfy-elf-imagines]

Cruel Summer | Orophin

Pairing: Orophin x Human!reader

Genre: Angst with some fluff at the end

Warnings: Heartbreak; unrequited feelings...??

Words: ~5,222 (oh boy is it a long one)

Note: If you’d like to be added to a tag list for any of my works, there’s a link on my page! I hope you all enjoy this one, it was a real treat to write! ♡

“I didn’t realise a forest could be so beautiful,” you whispered, staring in awe at the towering trees that shined like silver. The night sky was nothing new to you, nor the moon and the stars, yet they seemed more captivating in Lothlorien than anywhere else. The moon burned as bright if not brighter than the sun, illuminating everything in its silvery glow. Stars dotted the sky, glistening like bright torches in a dark room. 

Lothlorien had been beautiful during the day time, the golden leaves so vibrant and unreal, you could swear someone painted them. You’d thought that beauty would be unmatched until night fell. Everything once golden and blinding is now soft and silver, the trees glittering like fine jewels. And it was perfect, the inner peace and calm Lothlorien brought to you was unmatched. 

The sound of footsteps came from behind, gaining your attention. Turning around you see Orophin, still wearing his grey cloak that marked him a Warden of Lorien and the light armor all the rangers wore. His silvery hair that would’ve put any Targaryen to shame was pulled back in its typical fashion. He was beautiful-- well all elves were beautiful, something you’d learned rather quickly, but Orophin radiated another type of beauty. His beauty was more akin to a predator luring in it’s prey of choice with enchanting words and a pretty face, luring you into a thrilling game you always lost. 

You knew he was dangerous, an alarm in the back of your mind going off every time he gets too close or graces you with a look that was lethal to your wellbeing. But instead of sending you running like it should have, it lured you in closer and closer, like a moth drawn to a flame. It’s dangerous-- he’s dangerous. 

But you never seem to listen.

“I ithil a elena thind in ennerion na i er nin,” he said, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. A smile that promised nothing but pain and heartbreak, but also the thrill that comes with gambling, even when you know you’re going to lose. And you will lose, it’s just a matter of when and not if. 

“That’s not fair, you know I can hardly understand Sindarin, especially not when you speak it so fast,” you said, your eyebrows furrowing the slightest as you scowled. Orophin raised an ashen eyebrow at you, and you couldn’t help but feel envious at the lack of lines on his perfectly smooth forehead. His grin widened as his eyes glinted with mischief, and slowly like a prowling lion, he moved towards you.

 “I said, you are beautiful my dear, but you would’ve known that if you would pay attention during our lessons.” he said, eyes noticeably tracing your form. Your face flushed red immediately, images of you and Orophin, tangled together in your room, nothing but a sweaty flustered mess in your bed. Heat spread through your body as you remembered his icy lips on your hot body. 

And he knew it, that bastard knew the effect he had on you. It was obvious in his expression, like a cat that got the cream. 

“Or maybe you aren’t as great of a teacher as you like to think?” you shot back, mentally throwing ice cold water on yourself. Get a grip you idiot! 

“Oh? My lady wounds me! How will I ever hope to recover from such harsh words? Please, tell Rumil I’ve never enjoyed his singing and tell Haldir ho na burui hon in a adaneth,” he proclaimed, snickering towards the end. You pinched the bridge of your nose and exhaled loudly. 

“Orophin! How am I supposed to tell Haldir what you said… if I can’t understand you?” 

One.

Two.

Three steps.

Orophin waas close enough that you’re sure he could hear how rapidly your heart was beating against your chest, how uneven and shallow you breathing was. His eyes glanced down your form, slowly travelling back up to your face. His pale blue eyes glittered like sapphires as his soft hand reached out to touch you. His long fingers delicately traced your body, leaving you a shivering mess as you attempted to maintain a calm composure. Your head was nothing but static as your face grew hotter with each passing second, despite the cold air hitting you.

“Well then perhaps we continue those lessons?” he asked, the smirk on his face growing wider with each unsteady inhale of air. 

“Right now?” you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. 

He simply nodded his head, his smirk turning into a full blown grin. It was wicked and fatal and positively sinful. You attempted to pull back, your mind screaming at you to not fall back into what you knew to be a honey trap. But instead of backwards you moved forward, desperate to get as close as physically possible to him, but even then it wasn’t enough.  

“But someone could see, the Warden’s heavily patrol this close to the city,” you said, eyes widening a fraction as you stare up at Orophin. His finger moves up your body and to your face, tracing your cheekbones with a phantom touch. 

“Let’s hope they have enough courtesy to not interrupt, these lessons are paramount to your stay here in Galadhrim.” 

Before you could even breath, he brought his face down towards the crook of your neck. And when his face was only a few centimeters away from making contact with your skin, he paused. The warm breath that hit your skin felt like a frost storm compared to the heat building in you.

“Im innas na harno cin, nin lend lóth” 

“Im innas na harno cin, nin lend lóth.” The phrase felt jagged and rough, the elven dialect still foreign from your lips, while Orophin’s were smooth as silk. 

“Good, it seems you’ve learned more than originally thought,” he muttered, the vibration of his voice sent a shiver up your spine, leaving a tingling sensation in its wake. You couldn’t do anything, your mind nothing more than a pile of mush.  All you can do is nod, anticipating the next move Orophin made. 

“What does it mean?” you asked, voice so quiet you were sure he didn’t hear.

After what seemed like eternity, but in reality was only a minute, Orphan placed his soft lips against your neck, leaving behind feather light kisses as he moved up your neck, onto your jawline, and up towards your cheeks. He pulled away just a hair as you watched him with wide eyes, desperate for him to do something. 

“It means, my dear, we have a long night ahead of us.” he whispered. He graced you with one more wicked grin before closing the gap between the two of you, his lips firmly pressed against yours.  

                                                   o0o0o0o   

The pillow beneath your neck was plush and soft, your body nearly melting into a puddle, sinking into the heavenly mattress that supported your tense body. A silk blanket was haphazardly strewn across your body, crumpled and bunching in places. As was usual in Lothlorien, the night sky was beautiful. From your location, the moon was out of sight, but the stars burned so bright you hardly noticed as their light trickled in from the open roof of your talan. The air was cooling against your hot skin, a welcomed change in temperature. 

The soft melody of elves singing in the distance would normally lull you to sleep, their angelic voices drawing out your thoughts, but tonight it grated against your ears. You clenched the delicate blanket in your hands, finger causing crinkles in the soft fabric as it threatened to tear. But you weren’t mad at them or their heavenly singing that was without a single flaw, no it was something unrelated to singing, but very much including elves. 

“Are you trying to ruin your duvet, meril nin,” 

And like clockwork, the very source of your anger and confusion waltzed into your room as if it was his. The lighthearted easiness he carried himself with was a matching set to the smirk that always seemed to be tugging on his lips. But his eyes, his eyes were different this time. You were never good at reading people, even worse when it came to elves who’ve had hundreds of years to practice controlling their emotions. Yet even you could tell there was something different in them tonight. Maybe it was the starlight and the way it shined down upon him, casting a halo atop his beautiful silvery hair. A part of you wondered if you could cut a piece and sell it off to an unsuspecting merchant and pass it off as silver that’s been turned to thread. 

“What do you want Orophin, it’s late?” your tone was exasperated and tired. It always seemed like one thing or another with Orophin that would just leave you more confused than sated. 

“To see you of course!” he exclaimed, a jovial expression perfectly placed on his face. His eyes were alight with wonder and excitement, his lips curling into a grin filled with promises of fun and bad ideas. 

“Well I need to sleep.” 

He just raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at you, but otherwise seemed undeterred. He took long strides towards your bed, closing the already miniscule distance between the two of you. Before you could even blink more than three times, he sat on your bed, languidly leaning back until he was lying atop your thighs. He looked at you with wide eyes and fluttered his lashes at you. 

“Why are you so grumpy, meril? I thought humans had fun,” he teased, lifting his hand and tapping the end of your nose with his finger, booping you like a cute pet. You couldn’t tell if it was demeaning or downright adorable. 

“I’m not grumpy.”

“Yes you are my dear.” He pushed himself up just enough to swing one leg over you, now straddling your thighs. He began crawling up your body until his knees were flesh with your hips, hands resting beside your head. He leaned down, until there was only a few inches in between. 

Your skin was on fire, burning hotter and hotter with each second that passed. Your eyes searched his face for anything to clue you in on his motives, despite already knowing them. Maybe you were just hoping for something different than the usual procedure. 

“Perhaps I can offer some assistance?”

A smirk appeared on his face, eyes shining in the pale light streaming in from the open rooftop. It was trouble, you knew that, but maybe the fallout wouldn’t be so bad. So against your better judgement, you leaned forward, connecting your lips with his. 

His lips were as sweet and soft as they normally were, the scent of him lulling you deeper and deeper into euphoric bliss, like a wave pulling you deeper and deeper into the ocean. All reason left your brain, the only thing it could focus on being him and the feeling of his body pressed against you. You reach a hand up, tangling it in his silver hair. It slides through your fingertips like silk, falling from your hand like a waterfall. Your hand wandered up until you met the braids that held the front pieces of his hair back. You scrape your fingers along his scalp before trailing your hand down. You graze the very tip of his ear, light as a feather. 

He lets out a gasp, the sound swallowed by your mouth. He pulls away for a moment, migrating his lips from your mouth down and down until he’s leaving angel kisses along your neck. 

Then like being woken from a deep sleep with a piercing scream, your eyes shot open. You pull your hands away from Orophin, cradling your hand as if he burnt the flesh. You sit up and attempt to catch your breath, feeling like you ran 10 miles without a break. 

“We need to stop.”

“Why meril?” a sly smirk appeared on his face, as he began to crawl towards you to close the new distance between you two, only pausing when you held a hand out. 

“I’m serious, Orophin,” your voice was stern and confident, the opposite of the chaos that was in your brain. Worldesly, he moves off of you, opting to sit on the other side of you, feet hanging over the side of the bed. 

“What is it?” 

“What are we?” you said, he opens his mouth, but you cut him off, already not liking the glint in his eyes. “I’m being serious.”

A sigh escaped his mouth, causing your heart rate to increase and your anxiety to kick into overdrive. 

The dreaded conversation you always knew would come. 

“I thought we were just, you know, having fun.” The words cut into you like a knife, the pain almost physical. 

“Oh.” 

“It’s just, it’s difficult, I thought you knew that.” he said, some frustration leaking into his voice, whether it was directed at you or him, you didn’t know. “Us together would just be too difficult.” The knife embedded in your heart twists. 

“How can you say that when we aren’t even trying?” you exclaimed, the words rushed and your voice crackling at odd spots. 

“Because I know it to be true.” he said. His voice was short and cold, something you never associated with the warmth Orophin usually radiated. 

You stutter, your brain short circuiting as you attempt to process everything. 

And when your brain finally caught up, Orophin was gone, disappearing into the night.

                                                 o0o0o0o

“You lean too heavily to your right, did you know that?”

You jumped, not far, but enough to break the intense concentration you moments prior had. In your fright, the hand tightly gripping the bow string loosen and before you could react the arrow was released. It pathetically sailed through the arrow, bearing too far to the right. It only managed to get halfway through the training ground before it fell to the ground, like a limp noodle.

Whirling your body, a scowl overcoming your face, you saw Orophin. He was only a few paces away from you, holding a bright red apple that he brought to his mouth and took a bite from. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes when he started making exaggerated noises of delight, his eyes shut as if the apple was the most euphoric thing he'd tasted. 

“What was that for?” you exclaimed, your very short fuse exploding. “You ruined a perfectly good shot!”

 He finished chewing the piece of apple he bit off and then tossed it into the trees. One ashen eyebrow quirked at you as Orophin sauntered towards you, walking with the relaxed confidence only he could manage and a sly smirk on his face. Like clockwork, your heart began pounding in your chest and your face heated up. 

And he knew it too, you could see it in the way his smirk widened just a fraction and his eyes lit up with amusement. 

So you just scowled deeper, narrowing your eyes at him in hope of convincing not only him, but yourself that he didn’t have any effect on you. 

Biggest lie of the century. 

“If it was perfectly good it would’ve hit the target?” he said, his words teasing and light. 

“Well it would’ve if you didn’t distract me!” you replied. You were seething, not because of the arrow, but because of Orophin. He was confusing and infuriating, and perfect in every way. And you hated yourself, hated yourself because you couldn’t hate him, not really. 

“Are you saying I’m distracting? My lady, I am flattered that you can’t focus on anything just by merely hearing my voice!” he exclaimed, smirk contorting into a full blown smile. It’s blindingly bright and captivating, everything the sun shining down on Lothlorien was. 

“That’s not that I said you i-idiot!” 

“Really? That’s what I heard,” he replied, closing the distance between the two of you. He stopped a few inches away from you, close enough that you could hear his heartbeat and feel his breath fanning against you, and if you tried hard enough, you’d momentarily make contact if you breathed hard enough. The intoxicating scent of trees, rain, and something else that was distinctly Orophin. You hated how dizzy it made you feel and you hated that it was easily the sweetest smell you’ve experienced. 

He placed his hand on your tense shoulder and began to turn your body. With eyebrows that nearly touched your hairline, you opened your mouth, prepared to demand to know his intentions, but nothing came out except for a pitiful squawk. He turned your body until you were facing the direction of the training field, staring straight at the target you previously attempted to hit. 

“Relax, you’re as tense as Haldir when we’re on patrol.” He practically purred in your ear, the air from his words tickling your ear in a way that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. 

“What are you doing?” You were cautious and on high alert, full well knowing how things with Orophin usually ended. 

“Fixing your form. it’s not bad for a human, but you’re with the Eldar now,” he whispered. Orophin wrapped one arm around your waist and brought the other one to rest underneath the elbow of your bow arm. His touch was light and delicate, feeling more like the caress of a ghost than a corporeal person. And like a machine, you brought the bow up into position, placing a fresh arrow into proper position with a single fluid movement. 

“I also wanted to apologize for last night. I should not have stormed out the way I did.”

“It’s okay,” you said, your voice hoarse and rough, like a sharp rock.

“It’s not, but I appreciate the sentiment. Now let’s get back to the archery lesson, mell nin.”

“Mell nin. That means my dear?” You turned to face him, eyes widened like a doe as you carefully watched his face. His eyes locked with yours, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. He grinned at you with a look more radiant and shining than before. Gods, you could go blind if you stared at him for too long, but it would be worth it. Blindness wouldn’t be so bad if his face would be burned into your mind for the rest of your life. 

“You’ve been catching on”

“Sometimes I listen,” you replied, keeping your voice low so as to not disturb the quiet aura that encapsulated the two of you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Orophin this soft with you, usually he was all mischief and sex appeal. But now he was… at ease and relaxed, like he didn’t have to put on any airs. 

It was… nice.

Your lips tilted upwards as your eyes shined like starlight. Your erratic heartbeat slowed until it was in time with Orophin’s. Your eyes flickered down to his lips then back to his eyes. He followed your movements, not eyeing you like a predator but with… something else. Something you’ve seen the elves share with their husband or wife, the type of softness and vulnerability only present with someone you really care about. 

And you know, without a shadow of a doubt where Orophin’s thoughts stood seeing as he verbalised them last night in your room. You knew he didn't see this going anywhere permanent. Yet the look in his eyes and the complete ease he has around you says otherwise.

And then it’s suddenly cold. And before you have a chance to even blink, Orophin is gone, again.

                                                  o0o0o0o

“You can come out now, you pointy eared dummy!” you yelled, flailing your arms wildly as you do so, the wine bottle precariously held in your fingertips slipping and falling to the ground. Your eyes follow it, watching with wide eyes as the bottle hits the forest floor, bubbly liquid pouring out of the open top. 

“Shit,” you muttered, but made no move to pick it up. 

“That’s not very nice,” a soft melodic voice said from behind you. It was beautiful and light… you hated it. Whirling around, your legs wobbled as you began to lose your balance. Orophin surged forward to steady you, but you slapped his arm away.

“Don-- don’t touch me. No means no Oro,” you said, stumbling backwards until you fell to the ground, landing on your butt. Pain immediately flared up in the area, a pathetic whimper leaving your mouth. 

“Are you hurt?” he asked, moving towards you with slow and exaggerated movements, treating you like a scared baby. The thought caused you to scoff. You probably were a baby to half of the people here. Stupid elves and their stupid immortality.  

“Yes, emotionally and physically,” you said, closing your eyes and holding your head up, attempting to keep a sliver of your dignity. “But mainly physically right now.” 

“Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much then.” Once he was close enough, Orophin sat on the ground, his knees ghosting your skin. It burned like hot coals, singing the skin. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t drink more!” You pointed a finger at him and scowled, attempting to appear menacing. And in your mind, you were, except your finger couldn’t stay still and your face looked more like a pouting puppy than a fearsome killer. It would’ve made Orophin laugh if not for the sorrow poorly hidden in your eyes and your current pathetic state. He didn’t have to ask, he knew it was because of him. 

“I haven’t had any wine today,” he said, using the same tone he did when he found you alone in the Lorien woods all those months ago. When he had to coax you out from behind the mallorn trees after narrowly escaping a pack of orcs that got too close to Lorien.  

“Not my problem.”

“Of course! I must bear this burden on my own, my lady.” His tone was overly exaggerated. Against your better judgement, a smirk pulled at the corner of your lips, faint chuckle escaping between your lips.

“There’s that smile,” he teased, reaching forward and poking your cheek.

“Stop treating me like a child you stupid dolphin fin,” you muttered angrily, swatting at his invading hand. “I’m an adult you know.”

“Of course you are.”

“And don’t you forget it, buster!” You pointed a finger in his general direction, eyes still firmly shut. 

The two of you sit in silence for a moment, allowing the quiet atmosphere to swallow you whole. Orophin sighed, moving so he sat beside you, careful to not touch you.

“What’s wrong meleth? Why did you drink so much? Normally it’s near impossible to get you to drink more than two glasses when we’re together,” His voice is quiet and serious. 

‘Don’t call me love like that, you fool. You don’t love me, not really,” you muttered, leaning your head against the tree behind you. The silver bark is softer than you thought it would’ve been. Certainly not as rough and coarse as the ones back home.

“And how do you know that?” His eyes burned into your skin, like the sun bouncing off of a magnifying glass and incinerating small ants. 

“In case you’ve forgotten, you’re the one who said we couldn’t be together.” you said, opening your eyes for the first time since he sat by you. You searched his face for anything, but you couldn’t read him, probably due to your state of intoxication. 

“That’s not wh--” he began but you promptly cut him off by placing your hand over his mouth.

“But it’s how it was received. I get it Orophin, I’m human you're an elf,--” you obnoxiously exaggerated the word. “--your oil and I’m water, I get it now, don’t worry. It’s cool, there were no rules, so it’s on me that I let it get this far,” You told him. 

And you tried. You really tried to sound unbothered and nonchalant, to be as cold as ice. But the words were hollow, exposing how hurt you really were. 

Stupid elf. 

“You have to understand how diff--” Once again, you cut him off, the words being swallowed by the palm of your hand. 

“No, you don’t understand. I’ve played your little game for months and I’m tired of it. You hear me? Tired!” you exclaimed. You leaned forward and attempted to stand from your sitting position, however as soon as you moved, the world around you grew fuzzy, Orophin multiplying into two. 

“Be careful,” he snapped at you as he reached out to grab a hold of you. He pulled you from the ground, but you violently ripped away from him. 

“Don’t touch me you-- you, you big dummy!” you yelled, pushing him away and onto the forest floor. The fall was broken by the lush greenery that covers the Lorien first floor, so he easily scrambled up. You stumbled away, in your mind moving at the speed of lightning, however you were only able to get five paces away before falling to the ground. 

Tears of frustration and sadness built up in your eyes, your hands clenching tightly into fists. Hot tears streamed down your face, as you lay there on the floor like a baby throwing a tantrum. You smacked your fist against the ground, the throbbing pain dulled by alcohol. 

“I hate you, you know that? I hate you because I really don’t,” you muttered, already knowing Orophin was standing behind you. He said nothing and you couldn’t decide if that was better or worse. 

“I just- I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to keep sneaking around like I’m some horrible secret. I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep getting small pieces of you.” 

You turned and looked at him, eyes tear stained and your face splotching and red. God you were a mess. And in the glimmer of the starlight, you saw a faint stream of tears falling down his cheeks, landing on the ground. God, they even cry pretty.

“Y/N--” he began, taking a single step towards you, causing you to scoot forward, sliding across the forest like a toddler who can’t walk right. 

“God, I love you, and that’s probably the worst thing you’ve ever heard,” you muttered. Your mind no longer felt foggy from the wine, your eyes glossy from tears and not a state of intoxication. You stood up, and walked away, leaving Orophin behind. And the hand he held outstretched towards you slowly fell limp as he watched you walk away. 

                                              o0o0o0o

It had been months since you’d last spoken to Orophin. Time passed agonizingly slow, minutes becoming centuries, yet everything felt like a haze at the same time. Every day regret would beat against you, pushing you further and further into a never ending abyss. It was odd not having Orophin intruding on your day in some way, scarily enough, it was almost like Orophin was never there. The phantom of where he used to touch you burned like ice until you were nearly numb all over your body. 

God it was hell, trying to keep up with his whirlwind of emotions, trying to decipher if you were just having a fun time or if he truly cared for you. It was exhausting being in a constant state of turmoil, your heart bleeding nearly every second, only to be lazily patched up with every kiss. But at least you had a piece of him, even if it was just a sliver. 

You did everything to give off the illusion of being preoccupied. You went wandering through the forest collecting flowers, you practiced embroidering and then practiced again, you read the same three books over and over again, but everything always came back to Orophin. And for that you were glad he was gone with the other Wardens, patrolling the forest. The orcs were growing more bold in their attacks, so Haldir increased the watch and the Warden’s time away. You didn’t trust your self control, and if Orophin was just within your grasp, you would’ve caved long ago. Falling back into him and whatever he was willing to give you, only to begin the hellish cycle all over again. 

For once you were grateful for Haldir’s extreme dedication to his job. 

So now you lay in your favorite clearing, lazily flipping through a book you’ve already memorized, the grass cocooning you, leaving angel kisses on your body. The sound of grass crumpling beneath someone’s step brought you from your thoughts. Looking up, you saw Orophin, standing with the trees. He was wearing his Lorien cloak, weaved in every color of the forest to better conceal the wearer, and his leather armor with his bow loosely held at his side. 

You stared at him and he looked back. His eyes were wide and hopeful, nearly glossy in the light. His lips were pulled in a thin line, and you could see him chewing on the inside of his lips. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked, slowly closing your book and placing it beside you. You sat up, but didn't stand. You refuse to be the one to leave. 

“You were wrong.” 

“What?” you asked, eyes narrowed at him as you purse your lips. 

“You were wrong.” he stated again, as if it would suddenly become clearer to you. 

“I don’t under--” you began but he cut you off. Like the wind, he rushed towards you, his bow forgotten on the forest floor where he used to stand. He slid onto his knees so he was level with you, grasping your hands in his and surged forward, the force knocking you to the ground. 

“What are you--” You started to say, face immediately turning red and your heart rate increasing. And then he’s kissing you. Not with his usual playfulness, or the lust that laced every touch, but it was nice and soft and sweet. More akin to an innocent first kiss rather than the fire he usually possessed. And as soon as his lips were on you, they were off, but he didn’t move, and you didn’t want him to. 

“You were wrong. It isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever heard.” he muttered, his breath tickling your lips. 

Oh. 

Oh.

In that moment it clicked, the foggy memoires you have of that night coming back to you. You’d uttered that exact phrase to him, “I love you, and that’s probably the worst thing you ever heard.” Against your better judgement, a small smile forms on your lips and this time it was you closing the distance. 

“I love you, meleth nin. I. Love. You.” he punctuated each word with a kiss, causing your skin to burn where his lips touched. “And I’m sorry I refused to admit it for so long.”

“You better be,” you replied, pulling his body closer to you, if that was physically possible. 

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” he asked, pulling away from your lips. You smirked at him, eyes alight with the mischief that was missing for so long. 

“No, but that could be earned,” you said, playing with the fine hair at the nape of his neck. 

“I must warn you, it’s going to be a lot of hard work,” you teased, pressing your lips to the corner of his lips. A small whine left his mouth as he attempted to capture your lips fully with his. 

“Then it’s a good thing I’m a dedicated Warden.”

“We’ll see about that.”

                                                   o0o0o0o

Tags: 

@kenobiguacamole​ | @aearonnin​ | @emiliessketches​ | @vibratingbones​ | @ranhanabi777​

[jaideite]

Hc of Older Bakugo with baby fever? Just a thought.

B-Baby fever 🥺 yes this will be done !!!

this turned out longer then what it was supposed to be but it’s worth it for the scene at the end hehehe

dead tho I’m so sorry at how long this is I really got into it I—

OLDER!BAKUGOU WITH BABY FEVER

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

— it was literally the classic “save a baby” situation

— he could hear the kid screaming but where was the damn thing

— you had already left the building so there was no way to ask for some backup so he just went in

— “bRING YOUR ASS BACK HERE!”

— “tHERES A BABY—“

— eventually he finds it and

— uh oh

— its like a four month old baby

— he kind of just :/ because his gauntlet explosion thingies dont really allow him to hold things

— so he just kind of takes them off and leaves them, and picks up the baby and rushes out

— and just then the building explodes and you just see Ground Zero hurtling out the building and rolling on the ground

— he watches as one of his gauntlets flies out damaged and he just

— >:/

— but his main concern is the baby

— which he gently pulls the blanket off to reveal a soft face with pretty eyes staring him happily and tiny hands waving up at him

— he gives a soft smile and gently pokes its cheek and it giggles, gripping his gloved hand hand trying to put it into its mouth

— “Ah, ah, ah, no, that could get you sick.” He speaks softly, pulling his finger away and the baby just

— gummy smiles at him

— he smiles back like >:>

— the media is going nuts and they’re all smart enough to not speak and just take their damn pictures

— you kinda make your way over softly and your heart just clenches at the scene

— eventually he looks up at you from the ground and you crouch down to his level to see the baby too

— “hi baby!” You coo

— And this kid is just loving it man

— y’all are fine giving him the attention too because you’ve never really seen your husband interact with kids and he’s never seen you interact with them either

— it makes him wonder would you be good with his kids

— until you know he just spits on Katsuki

— you expect him to place the baby in your arms but he just sighs and grumbles about “damn stupid babies” and gets up

— the baby just sits on his chest and puts its fingers in its mouth and gurgles

— and your jusr gently take it from him

— “Awe you threw up? That’s okay, you’re probably a little sick, too. Why don’t we go see the good doctor and get you checked up?”

— he watches you in awe as you just work your mommy magic on the baby and walk away

— later on when you guys are home he just

— “You were really good with that baby.”

— you look over from whatever you’re doing on your side of the bed and smile “You too. It seems you have a knack for not making little kids cry.”

— “Hey it was one time!”

— “Katsuki that kid was twelve.”

— “Tch.”

— there’s more silence and then

— “Y’know it would be nice to have one.”

— “Hm?”

— “Litte you’s and me’s runnin’ around. . . heh. . .causing chaos.”

— you gotta pause for a second and look over to him from where he’s laying because are y’all serious having this conversation

— “Katsuki...” you start slowly “Do you...want a baby?”

— Theres silence on his end, and the sheets ruffle. “Yeah...Yeah I do...”

— You blink at him in surprise not because of the baby thing

— It’s because you honestly thought he was going to throw a big fit about denying it

— but here he is, staring you in the eye and saying he wants a baby

— and you just

— “Oh, okay.”

— he kind of just stares at you and you stare back

— and then he kinda whispers

— “Are you serious?”

— “Are you serious?” You retort back softly “This is a big decision, and if we make it we can’t back out on it, you know that right?”

— He takes a long pause and hums, nodding and turning around in the bed saying goodnight and just ending the conversation

— you just ‘Mmm’ and follow, heading to bed and wrapping your arm around him softly

— it’s brought up a few days later when the report of you two holding the little baby is brought on TV

— “You didn’t even get mad like I thought you would you just let it slide and moved on.”

— “Life’s too short to be angry over that.”

— “Hmm. And if your kid puked on you?”

— “Depends on how old they are. If they’re puking on me at 12 their ass is getting grounded.”

— “No butt whoopings?”

— “What the hell would that do? Take away their shit—more effective.”

— “Why no whoopings?”

— “You’ve met my mother, correct?”

— The topic isn’t brought up until it’s mentioned again amongst your classmates a couple weeks later

— “Who knew Bakugou was so good with babies?”

— “Can it, Round Face.”

— “Honestly, despite his shit personality, he’d be a good parent, not gonna lie.”

— “Ugh, stop talking would you?”

— and then he overhears you waking to the girls

— “When do you plan on having kids, y/n?”

— You guys kind of just freeze and you give out a little chuckle and fiddle with your clothes

— “We’ve, talked about it...but haven’t made a decision yet...besides we’re still young, we’ve got some time.”

— “Ain’t no time like the present!”

— “Shut the fuck up, Dunce Face.”

— When you guys get home and cuddle up in bed, you kind of just start talking out of no where

— “Y’know I saw a lady and her baby earlier this week. She was so cute, a little mischievous but still cute. Her mother was just so annoyed but she had a smile on her face. It was so cute.”

— he peeks an eye open and listens to you just talk about all the times you’ve come into contact with kids—some good, making him let out a small laugh, and some bad, making him cringe a little until finally he asks

— “Y/N, do you want to have kids?”

— the room is silent until you speak again

— “Of course I want to have kids,” you speak softly, fiddling with his fingers. “But when I decided I wanted to be a hero...kids just kind of left the picture.”

— “...they could possibly come back into it.” He speaks softly and you stop, going still and closing your eyes

— “Do you really want kids?” You speak ever so softly. He kind of just closes his eyes and rests in the crook of your neck

— to you it seems like the whole world seemed to just stop

— and then

— “Yeah...yeah. I want kids too.”

B O N U S:

— so like after about eight, nine months almost a year of talking about wanting to have kids y’all start trying

— and you’re annoyed because oH mY gOd y/N jUsT gEt pReGnAnT —

— so it’s been like six months since you guys started trying and then one morning just about a few weeks before his birthday

— he makes you your morning tea you catch a wiff of it like you usually do

— and then all of a sudden he’s yelling at you for shoving the cup in his hands that tea was hot and you’re clutching the bathroom door and throwing up on the floor

— you’re pissed cause you didn’t make it and now you’re sick so you can’t go into work

— you just ‘huuuugh’ and move to the toilet as you hear your husband make a comment and move to clean it up

— eventually you feel his fingers combing your hair as you throw up your dinner which you’re pissed cause he made a good ass dinner last night

— “Did you get fucking food poisoning or something?”

— you just reply with a caveman like grunt and he snorts

— “Come on. I’ve got to get ready for work so let me get you fucking situated.”

— so while he’s out you make your way up to get some medicine and schedule a doctors appointment

— and so a couple days goes by and at this point you’re just puking left and right

— now you’ve got a bucket next to you full of puke every five minutes and you just feel ewk

— “I remeber why I married you.”

— “Katsuki if you don’t shut your mouth—“

— eventually your trudge into the doctors office and you get a shock

— “Your pregnant, Mrs. Bakugou. Congratulations.”

— “Oh. Oh okay.”

— It finally hit you in the car and you just

— “OH MY FUCKING GOD IM PREGNANT—“

— you can’t wait to tell Katsuki but then you remember watching those videos

— and as your walking into the house you realize his birthday is in a two weeks

— so you could give it to him as a birthday surprise

— so immediately you start looking for cute ideas to do

— none of them seem to work until one popped up and you just ‘yes’

— so you’re calling all his friends his family and telling them to just all come and help plan this thing (you don’t tell them your pregnant you want that to be a surprise)

— you are so excited and can barely keep yourself from telling him

— he suspects something is up but your a woman he could have hurt your feelings and not told him wow that sounded sexist dont attack me pls

— he’s learned not to dwell too much when you say “nothing it’s fine”

— but anyways the big day comes up and you guys are in a panic because

— the balloons needed to be blown up

— the streamers aren’t staying up

— the cake hasn’t arrived yet

— everything is just a mess

— you just stare at the mess of your apartment in annoyance and anger and frustration and then you just let it all out

— and everyone’s kind of just shocked because your a tough girl you don’t usually cry

— but now your just curled into a ball and you sound like a four year old

— your crying gets only worse when the keys jiggle and in comes your husband

— he kinda just takes in the mess behind him and then realizes someone is crying so he just looks around and sees it’s you

— hes immediately concerned and crouches down to you and you just cry harder

— “What the hell happened?”

— “This! This—all of this! Today just went so wrong!”

— “Hey, we can still fix this shit up—“

— “No, no we can’t! This was supposed to be special we had all your presents and we were supposed to have a cake and we were supposed to say surprise when you came in—“

— “Surprise...” Someone mumbles and you just start sniffing and curl into him

— “It wasn’t supposed to go like this I was going to surprise you and tell you I’m pregnant but everything just turned out so—uuughh.”

— by now your just red faced and tear streaked and a sobbing mess

— but his hearing kinda stopped after you said pregnant

— You, y/n are pregnant

— “Y-Your...w-what—“

— you look up to meet his eyes “I was going to surprise you and tell you that I’m pregnant but now it’s out there so,” you just wave your hands around ��yeah. I’m fucking pregnant. Happy 24th Birthday.”

— he just stares and so does everyone else lmfao and you just pull your knees to your chest and hide your face

— it’s silent for a while and you hear shuffling and a door open and look up

— it’s just you and him now

— “H-How long—“

— “Two months, but I found out a few weeks ago. It was supposed to be a surprise—“

— “Hey hey hey,” he starts trying to calm you down. He takes your face into his sweaty hands and kisses you “it’s...it’s fine...it’s alright...this is a better birthday gift anyways.”

— you sniff “I wanted to surprise you.”

— “Our kid is a big enough fucking birthday gift anyways.”

— you choke on a laugh and hug him, mumbling a soft “I love you.”

— he wraps his arms around you too and whispers a soft “I love you too...”

— “...and I love our baby as well.”

[coursecube]

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With this, you’ll be able to start offering people access to CourseCube under your branding. It’ll look like you worked hard and invested thousands, when all you did was invest in CourseCube Agency. They’ll never know

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This opportunity Its for the biggest action takers ONLY Because what I’m offering you is a complete White label license to

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Conclusion

That’s all what I want to share with you about CourseCube. I hope that my review can give you a helping hand in deciding what is best for you.

[brokenbuttonsmusic]

Eleni Mandell: L.A. Singer-Songwriter with Smoky Chrissie Hynde Vocals and a flair for Tom Waits’ Influenced Experimentation

This post is a near- transcript of the Broken Buttons: Buried Treasure Music podcast (episode 5, side A). Here you’ll find the narration from the segment featuring the L.A. singer-songwriter, Eleni Mandell, along with links, videos, photos and references for the episode.

Listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple, Anchor or Mixcloud.

Have you ever bought the wrong record? Like, you intended to buy something that sounded like one thing and you accidentally grab something that sounds very different. 

I don’t know if this happens anymore, but I believe it was quite common years ago. Imagine hearing an artist on the radio and being blown away. You go to the record store, find the plastic divider with the name of whom you’re looking for, but you can’t remember the name of the album, or even the song. Remember, you don’t have a tiny computer in your pocket. You’re too nervous to ask the store clerk for fear of looking stupid. So you roll the dice. 

“I know it was someone called Neil Young, but there are a thousand Neil Young records here.”

“Hey, this pink one looks cool.”

That exact scenario didn’t happen to me, but that album, Neil Young’s Everybody’s Rockin’, happened to be the most played Neil Young album in my house growing up, so for years I thought Neil Young was a rockabilly revival act. In reality, that was one of several oddball records Young released during a tumultuous period with his record label to fulfill his contract demands. I still love that record. 

Eleni Mandell did live out the scenario of buying the wrong record though. She shared the story during a segment of the show Bullseye with Jessie Thorn, where she describes seeing Tom Waits on MTV late at night—back when MTV still cared about music. It was either 120 minutes or IRS’ The Cutting Edge. This would have been around 1984 or 1985, so right around the time of Wait’s masterpiece Rain Dogs. When she went to the record store though, she picked up the 1976 Tom Waits’ Asylum release, Small Change instead. Now Small Change is still a great Tom Waits album, but it sounds nothing like the drastically reimagined sound and musical approach he had begun to employ starting with 1983’s Swordfishtrombones. Something Tom Waits called his “junkyard orchestral deviation.” The spare, off-kilter percussion. Moaning trombones and muted trumpets. Marimba. Plenty of marimba. Experimental instruments mixed in everywhere. Megaphones and CB radios. Trash can lids. 

This is the sound Eleni was looking for. 

Instead she got lush strings. Delicate piano. Cinematic swells and a melancholy wail. 

She got this.

Still awesome, but not the same. She credits the experience with changing her life. She grew to love both sides of the Tom Waits coin. The jazzy piano man in the smoky, whiskey-drenched nightclub and the eclectic, experimental carnival barker that she had her first encounter with on late night MTV. 

You can hear that deep appreciation and influence for the full Tom Waits spectrum injected and swirling through Eleni Mandell’s own spectacular catalog that spans more than 20 years now. 

She’s got plenty of experimental Waits, especially in her early catalog. 

And quite a bit of the jazzy nightclub vibe.

There’s also plenty of folk-y Eleni mixed in, and even some country.

You’ll notice that Eleni’s voice doesn’t sound like Tom Waits though. Did you notice that? It’s less of a deep, gravelly howl and more of rich Chrissie Hynde croon. Spin compared her to Chrissie Hynde and PJ Harvey. Rolling Stone compared her captivating melodies and witty lyricism to early Elvis Costello. 

While she doesn’t have the Tom Waits’ wail, she does specialize in his particular brand of character song-study. Like this first song we’re going to hear. The first track off of Eleni Mandell’s second album Thrill. Released in the year 2000. This is Pauline. 

Pauline, from Eleni Mandell’s second record, Thrill. So how did this remarkably unique singer-songwriter get her start and pull together so many interesting influences to create the sound we just heard.

Eleni grew up in the Sherman Oaks region of the San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles. She started playing music when she was just 5, beginning with the violin and then piano. Eleni didn’t love playing either, but continued to take lessons until she was thirteen. She remembers wanting to learn to write songs early on, but didn’t have the first idea of how to approach it, especially on violin. She jumped from violin and piano to guitar as a teenager. Her parents exposed her to a variety of musical styles. Her mom would take her to musicals and her dad, a serious record collector, played her Hoagy Carmichael and plenty of jazz standards. She loved the Beatles and remembers Diana Ross making an early impression. 

Another early life changing moment came when she discovered the Los Angeles punk band X.

X were huge in LA, and their first album (called Los Angeles) was the first record Eleni ever owned. Or maybe the first she asked to own. The first record she was ever given was Shaun Cassidy’s greatest hits for her 4th birthday. The first she ever purchased with her own money was X’s third release, Under the Big Black Sun. She tells a story of when she was out record shopping at a place called Aron’s Records, located on Melrose, and to her utter befuddlement came face to face with John Doe, lead singer of X. He was shopping for records too. She quickly snapped up a copy of the band’s third album and asked John to sign it. He did. She still has the signed album, which reads “Yours” complete with a big X “-John Doe.” That was the last autograph she ever asked for. It was not, however, the last time her path would cross with that of the band X. 

When she was a little bit older, she met Chuck E. Weiss, songwriter, rock n’ roller, beat poet and peculiar Tom Waits associate. Also the subject of the song, Chuck E.’s in Love.

Yes, that Chuck E. Weiss. Waits was in a relationship with Rickie Lee Jones. Waits, Jones and Weiss all lived at the seedy Tropicana Motel in Los Angeles. One day Weiss up and left out of nowhere. Some time later Chuck E. called the apartment where Jones and Waits were living. He explained to Waits that he had moved to Denver because he had fallen in love with a cousin there. Waits hung up the phone and announced to Jones, “Check E.’s in love. Rickie Lee Jones liked that so much that she it turned it into the song we just heard. 

Who is this episode about again? Oh, right. Eleni Mandell. Anyway, Eleni Mandell met THAT Chuck E. Weiss when she was not yet 21. Still, she had a friend who was able to get her into The Central, a Sunset Strip club that would later become The Viper Room. This would’ve been around 1990. Weiss was playing there every Monday. 

Here’s how the write up on Eleni’s original website describes her first encounter with Weiss.

“The first time she ever saw Chuck E. Weiss perform, he walked right up to her and smiled like a cross between The Cheshire Cat and an escaped mental patient. She met him a month later at Musso and Frank’s.”

Eleni says she was at the famous Hollywood restaurant and recognized Weiss. She worked up the courage to approach him and told him how much she loved his show. He asked if she wanted to accompany him to meet up with a friend at Canter’s Deli. She agreed. When they settled into one of the landmark eaterys iconic red, vinyl booths in walked her hero. Tom Waits. What a night. Tom asked Chuck how he and Eleni had met. 

“Hebrew school,” he declared. 

Here’s a tune from Eleni’s debut album, Wishbone, released in 1999. This is Sylvia. 

From Eleni Mandell’s first album, Wishbone, that was Sylvia. 

Under Chuck E. Weiss’ mentorship, produced by Jon Brion and self-financed by Mandell, Wishbone, as well as her next several records, received strong reviews and drew comparisons to Waits and PJ Harvey in style. 

Before Weiss mentored Mandell, he hired her as a door person at his club. She said he would test her to see how tough a door person she was by trying to grab money out of her hand. Weiss would continue to mentor Eleni over the years and they’re still friends to this day. 

For her fourth album, Mandell shook things up by diving into traditional country. A mix of covers and originals, 2003’s Country For True Lovers is an exciting update to her sound. And one of her life changing moments came full circle. Weiss introduced her to former X guitarist Tony Gilkyson, who produced the project. She also stacked the sessions with all star players, including Nels Cline from Wilco, and another X hero, drummer D.J. Bonebreak. 

Eleni continued to mix and mesh genres on her next release, 2004’s Afternoon. 

From the No Depression review of that album:

“Last years Country For True Lovers found Los Angeles chanteuse Eleni Mandell turning her sights on twang rather than her previous more PJ Harvey-oriented material, and she received plenty of critical acclaim in the process, sharing the LA Weekly 2003 songwriter of the year award with the late Elliot Smith.”

“On Afternoon, her fifth album, Mandell combines her love of various genres, including country, pop, jazz and rock, to stunning effect. Produced by Joshua Grange, who also lends his considerable talents on guitar, pedal steel, Hammond organ and piano, Afternoon mostly takes the slow and sexy approach. I’ve Been Fooled and Can’t You See Im Soulful give Mandell the chance to show off her breathy but passionate alto, which can devastate in a heartbeat.”

“Mandell does rock out from time to time, as on Easy On Your Way Out, which has a grungy Elvis Costello-gets-on-with-Liz Phair feel to it. I wanna be your afternoon/I want you coming back for more, Mandell sings on the sorta fun/sorta sad title song.”

She can also write catchy singles. Like this song from Afternoon, “Let’s Drive Away.”

That was Let’s Drive Away from Eleni Mandell’s fifth album, Afternoon, released in 2004. That song was also featured on the TV show, Weeds.

And here comes the challenging part of covering an artist like Eleni Mandell, who’s put out consistently solid albums for over two decades. There’s not enough time to feature all the good stuff she’s produced, but trust me, over her eleven albums, she always delivers. From the diverse shifting sounds of Artificial Fire [play clip] to the smooth and breezy Dark Lights Up [play clip], Eleni whirls a magical combination of jazz, folk, pop, country and rock, with just enough experimental twists to keep everything fresh. 

She’s also branched out from her solo artist gig to release two albums with her band The Grabs. The Grabs allows her to exercise more of her pop side and features Eleni on vocals, Blondie bassist Nigel Harrison, and Silversun Pickups’ drummer Elvira Gonzalez. 

And, she’s also released records with the Andrews Sisters inspired supergroup, The Living Sisters, with Inara George, Alex Lilly and Becky Stark.

I’d recommend checking out all of this. 

So now that we’ve established that the Eleni Mandell road is paved with the goods, let’s skip ahead to focus on her most recent album: 2019’s Wake Up Again.

Here’s what Eleni and her website have to say about the latest release: 

“For two years or thereabouts,” Mandell says, “I taught songwriting at two colleges and a women’s prison.”

The prison gig came about via Jail Guitar Doors, the organization founded by Wayne Kramer, guitarist of the vaunted Detroit band MC5, in partnership with English musician Billy Bragg. “I don’t know why exactly I was drawn to that work,” Mandell says. “But I had a family member who had been in prison in the 1940s. He wasn’t around when I was growing up, but that sort of fascinated me and I was always curious about what kind of person disappears and what kind of person commits crimes — what are they thinking?”

Working with the inmates also provided many epiphanies for her as a person, and proved fertile for her as an artist, as captured in the 11 songs on this album, her 11th studio release. In many ways it’s the culmination and fulfillment of all the strengths as a writer and performer going back to her start under the tutelage of Chuck E. Weiss, Tom Waits and other top chroniclers of people in the shadows.

“I really enjoyed it,” she says. “I was inspired by the stories, and surprised by the laughter I heard there. And I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was, by how many different kinds of people were there: teachers, lawyers, nurses, and also people who grew up in poverty.”

Here’s a song about one of the woman she met during those songwriting classes she taught. This is Evelyn.

Evelyn from Eleni Mandell’s most recent album, Wake Up Again. Another great addition to her expansive, impressive catalog. The album is filled with rich character studies and deeply personal self-examinations.

Her early Tom Waits inspiration continues to ignite and propel her, even after 11 albums. Only now she can call Tom a longtime friend. 

And she went from obsessive punk rock X fan to counting a member of X as a member of her own band. What a cool, thrilling ride she’s had so far. Eleni Mandell. 

References and other stuff:

Eleni interview with Luxury Wagers

Eleni interview with Mr. Bonzai

Eleni interview with Tyler Pollard on Timeline

The bio from Eleni’s current website has a great write up on her most recent album and I quote from it in the episode.

No Depression review of Afternoon that I quote in the episode

Here is the original bio from Eleni’s old website that is now archived. I also quote from this

Eleni has been featured on NPR segments over the years. I did not use anything directly from these, but they are good and informative

Pop Matter review of Dark Lights Up

Good L.A. Times article about Eleni teaching songwriting to female inmates and her latest album

[heroquills-a]

s1lentsnip3r replied to your post: hmmmmmmmmmm……….. i feel like doing a random mun...

bet

cracks knuckles.

@s1lentsnip3r @chaosmixed @metallumdash 

words can’t describe how impressed i am by how much you bring your muses to life bwaze. i used to like, not really give a darn heck about metal sonic at all? but after that first thread we had where sonic and proxy got into a fight, i was immediately hooked. you just do such an incredible job at fleshing out characters that i otherwise wouldn’t have really thought much of before and you just have this unique and interesting spin on them that feels fresh. i love the way you play the chao and whisper’s wisps and atia is just a little gremlin but i love them so much, and i’ve literally never seen anyone play chaos before. you just have this way of utilizing that potential that your characters and concepts have and it’s just really awesome to watch. i love it. absolutely a stellar roleplayer. absolutely stellar mun!!

@skyfcx @masterprotector @cosmcther

ties you to a chair. listen here little mister. youre probably one of the OG ppl in this rpc that i’ve lowkey looked up to since first joining. you’ve already heard it plenty of times already but your writing is just ?? stellar ?? from the way you use colorful idioms, expressions, metaphors, to how you capture movement and action in such an engaging way. it’s always a treat to read. the way you portray your muses is just always spot on and i love how seamlessly you capture their mannerisms and speech patterns. your headcanons for tails and knuckles just make me so giddy they just feel so right for their characters, and as far as rosalina goes--- while i know next to nothing about the mario franchise or this character in particular i’m still intrigued enough to peek in on what she’s up to every now and then. over all, you’re a rad roleplayer and a fun person to chat with ooc !! 

@chaosbcrne 

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. i adore how you write shadow. i’m constantly blown away by how authentic he always feels and how realistic you write him while still remaining accurate and true to his character. like i legit cannot even think of any other place or media i’ve seen besides the games themselves (before sega started botching up his character anyway) where he’s portrayed as accurately as you write him. you manage to balance the serious, aloof, hostile side of him with his playful, competitive, smug side AND the inner naive, almost child like side almost perfectly. and then there’s more, because you add so much depth to him and realistically expand on so many unexplored facets of his character and his roots !! you can just tell this is a character who’s endured so many hardships and is still trying to recover and move on, and despite everything that’s hardened him into the person he is today he still has that innocent curiosity about the world and it makes me so emo every. single. time. you just put so much work into him and it shows, from your icons to your headcanon posts, to even the most minute detail. even when you host events you just go So Hard at it you’re literally out here setting the standard dude. and don’t even get me started on your writing style. i was hooked by the very first thread we did, i felt like i could never hold a candle to it honestly. just. the way you narrate shadow’s feelings and thoughts, how you capture his actions, his movement, his speech patterns, is just so good. and your vocabulary is so colorful and rich. just. hgnfhg its top tier content ALRIGHT you inspire me to push myself and to keep improving all the time and i have to say i couldn’t ask for a better writing partner. i love you so much eph 💕💕💕

@1110-01111011

hello yes trikey i love your omega so much. i’ve never really thought much of the death bot before but seeing all the headcanons and fleshing out you do for him just makes him so much more interesting and fascinating. down to the most intrinsic detail you put in for him it’s just really cool to see and adds so much to him that just !! i love it man. every time i think abt omega now my mind just automatically goes back to your portrayal because he is Just omega. i appreciate all the depth you add to him and his relationships to the rest of his team, it’s so pleasing to see and really helps solidify how strong team dark’s dynamic truly is..... not to mention your art is hecking gorgeous??? like damn dude, goals. anyway,, thank u for the blessed omega content. absolutely 10/10

@coolxnxblue @oforbis @hcrofraid @mastcrplanncr @powderbluestreaks

toxi i immediately fell in love with your sonic the first time we ever interacted. you just capture his sass so well, i just could not stop giggling that first night. he’s still my favorite sonic in this rpc, to be honest. and don’t even get me started on your other muses. it still baffles me how you manage to take on such a huge raster of characters yet manage to flesh them out all so well. every one of them feels so evenly developed and solid and just like bwaze you make me care about characters that i otherwise wouldn’t have before. i feel like i have a huge newfound appreciation for eggman bc of you and unsurprisingly he’s now my fave eggman on here hands down. and it goes without saying your writing is just, phenomenal. you capture dialogue so beautifully, the way you narrate on the feelings your characters are experiencing is engaging, to the point i’m lowkey intimidated by it sometimes LMAO. also your AUs are just rad as hell? and rlly interesting?? and your art style too ????? 10/10 roleplayer, i just think youre neat.

@antibadnik @godcontained

hey you? yes you. i love your muses so much. i especially love how you write amy, to be honest. she’s been my favorite character since forever and like?? you do just such a good job with her? i appreciate that you choose not to erase her intense affection for sonic, because more often than not i see people tone it way down to almost non-existent and it really is just such a big part of her character. i like the way you delve into that mindset of her’s, and expand on it and how it affects her. i also just. love your writing too. you just have this way of conveying feeling in your writing that’s always a punch to the gut you can feel it that hard. your headcanons for elise are really interesting too and definitely nothing i’ve actually seen before, what with how her powers work and how having to go emotionally dormant has effected her after all this time.  also, i love ava. she is baby. it’s so cool getting to see a mute character!! all in all, its just good content man. god i love football.

@team-phantom @heartfelt-silver

pandaaaa i adore you !!! you were like my first friend in this heckin rpc. all of our dash shenanigans always have me wheezing and i just love your boys so much. i can certainly say without a shadow of a doubt that zero is one of my favorite takes on infinite. its hard to believe that he’s the same jackal who almost completely helped eggman take over the world--- he’s just come so far, he seamlessly fits into the rest of the cast. i adore how he works off of his team, and all their own unique little quirks that set them apart from each other. your headcanons and lore for your muse is just so sweet. and god i can’t get enough of your art?? your doodles always are a blessing to see ;-; i always appreciate you youre just such a sweet and kind mun, you’re so welcoming of ppl here and have this way of making ppl feel at home in this community. it absolutely wouldn’t be the same without you. keep it up <3

@lightdash @heartlop @enrichedheart

YOU. yes you. ame you’re so freakin’ cool and sweet. you’re always so nice and welcoming to people in the rpc it’s always a treat getting the chance to talk to you !! you’re another one of those peeps i look up to in this community TBH and youre muses are just portrayed and written so well!! i can just tell you’ve poured many years of thought, consideration, and work into your muses to the point that they’re just so finely tuned. i love the aesthetic you utilize for you blogs, from your icons to just the way you go about formatting your threads? and not to mention, your art style ??? is just so cute ??? ngl i lowkey wanna collab with you one of these days bc i just adore how you draw the sonic cast ;_; thank you for being a part of this rpc !! you’re wonderful !

@projectlightfox

moggg you’re so nice and chill to talk to. i love volt and harmony so much... they fit in really good with sonic world and mesh well with just about any characters i’ve seen them interact with so far--- even if its someone they don’t get along with. i’ve said it before but theyre just a really charming little duo and im always happy to see them on my dashboard. i love the overall aesthetic they got going, two travelers roaming the world from dimension to dimension. harmony is just a little bundle of precious fluffy joy and her interactions with sonic always make me cry. and volt--- he’s such a good dad !! he’s a really neat character and i’m certainly interested in learning more about the both of them. and as i said, you’re a rad person to talk to, i appreciate how welcoming and supportive you are of people. and your art style? absolutely adorable. thank you for being in this rpc ;-;

@dieviskais @solfading 

king!! i’ve never seen anyone write the way you do, choosing to shift the view point onto the reader as if they themselves are the muse. it’s such a unique and interesting way to look into your muse’s mindsets and express how they are feeling and what they’re doing. your take on silver is very fresh compared to the way he’s typically written. i appreciate you don’t take the baby silver uwu route like don’t get me wrong he IS baby but he’s not a baby. you certainly have really neat headcanons surrounding his backstory and how he grew up, it’s nice to see the grim reality of his harsh bleak life being represented. it’s good !! your other muses are intriguing too and i’m eager to learn more about them. i love auburn?? he’s a really cool oc dude his aesthetic and powers are A+. and you know, i may be terrible at expressing it but you’re a delight to talk to!! never feel bad or discouraged for popping into my dms i honestly appreciate the company ;-; thank u for being u

@orbviously / @cubeviously

THESE TWO BOTS. i love them so much. literally every time i see orbot or cubot now in any context i just think back to your portrayal of them hebby, they’re just so dang spot on and good. i love how you go about interacting with people with these two tbh it never fails to make me giggle. i love your art style too it’s just pleasing to look at! you have so many creative AUs for these bots i’m honestly impressed by how much you manage to create with these guys man--- from their human/bot designs to their mobianbot designs theyre just so cool ?? even your other muses are always entertaining to watch regardless of what fandom theyre from youre just so fun to interact with. and just, you’re always a pleasure to talk to ooc, youre always putting a smile on my face! youre awesome hebby 

@fishing-purple-cat

yes hi. sunny your take on big is so blessed. you’ve done so much justice for him. i’ve always really liked big tbh but i just love how much depth you put into his character, his backstory and his mannerisms. i love that you like,, actually give him a personality outside being a slow thinker. i can tell you’ve really developed your writing style with him, it speaks volumes about how much work you really put into writing him and it shows? heck, you even go the extra mile to draw your own icons and hang on i need a second to gush about your art because holy DAMN dude. your anatomy and painting abilities are nothing short of impressive--- especially your nack for painting backgrounds. i srsly gotta commission you at some point when i’m able to, heck. anyway, the rpc certainly wouldn’t be the same without you here

@lnfinitc

dude i love your take on infinite. he’s just about everything he should have been in forces, and even more. i love how malicious and intimidating you write him and your take on his speech patterns is just straight up eye-candy. i love your writing style, its so flavorful and rich--- your headcanons and lore on how infinite works is just astounding. and i like how you incorporate your drawings into your replies or threads too like even if its just icons your style is so heckin pretty ?? gosh dang. i’m definitely looking forward to interacting more in the future bc ur muse is just really fun and you seem like such a rad person !!

@pistolbitten

uhhh hello yes... while we haven’t interacted very much so far i JUST GOTTA SAY, i super enjoy your take on fang. from what i can tell he’s very well-rounded and fleshed out and a really interesting villain. i may or may not’ve been lowkey paying attention to that angel’s thesis thread you were doing w bwaze and aaron and i gotta say. holy damn. fang just done FUCKED UP. im certainly looking forward to him and shade interacting lmao. your writing style is so good too hh... just yeah i don’t have a whole lot to say if only because we haven’t interacted as much as i have with some of the other ppl on here BUT i certainly am looking forward to bc you seem cool. i’m loving what i’m seeing so far. have nack shoot sonic. DO IT.

@mobian-merc @funis-infinite 

duuuudeeee. i’ll be honest i was super intimidated by you at first asdkjsah i don’t even know why i was ??? but like. you’re so hecking nice and fun to talk to ;_; scourge is an actual literal dipshit yet you manage to make him very likable and you have such a fun take on him. i’ve always been a little conflicted on the character tbh because of how popular he is and he seems like the type i’d like but i knew nothing about him and was kinda put off by the over hype sometimes, but honestly? your portrayal won me over. i love him now. he’s so stupid and hE’S GREAT. your infinite also seems so cool too i gotta hecking respond to that starter you made me when i get the chance, im looking forward to infinite & sonic just. talking and sassing eachother probably. i really like your writing style too!!! and your icons are absolutely gorgeous ok. alright, that is all.

@flyinginfreedom

uhhhhhhh hello i love your rouge so much ???? she’s literally so cool... you capture her aesthetic and over all mysterious yet cunning vibe perfectly and it’s just always a pleasure to see her on my dash. i loved her interactions with sonic during eph’s roadtrip event so much. your headcanons just feel so her and spot on, and you still manage to add so much depth and personality to her i just love it so much. i love your blog’s aesthetic down to the icons, and even the way you format your threads. over all just a stellar rouge blog and a really cool & chill mun!!

@rosehammcr @antihedgehog

hi rosie uhm i love your amy so much ok. she’s such a sweet heart, i love how you incorporate her tarot cards ?? it’s literally so cool... and the accuracy on those readings is shocking. she’s just such a sweet heart god i’m getting emo thinking abt her tbh like amy is !! one of my fave characters and !! you write her so well !! and your eggman too, god he’s incredible. i love how sinister yet goofy he can be he’s just a perfect combination of intimidating and silly. your takes on orbot and cubot also bring a smile to my face and i love how you incorporate them into your interactions!! you also just seem like a rlly rad person and i’d love to interact more !! yeah !

@a-wind-of-freedom

yuniiiiiiIII !!  you’re such a sweet heart and your sonic is too. i’ve never seen someone play sonic the way you do before and it’s certainly interesting and unique !! you’ve got so many neat an thought out verses and AUs too, theyre all really intriguing !  our interactions with our sonics are always rlly blessed tbh starlight is just precious. i always appreciate getting to work with you as well for commission stuff, you’ve really been helping me out in that regard. plus you give me something artistic to work on and the chance to push my talents ! ;-; all in all you’re just a really sweet person and have a kind aura about you ! ;;

@champiionic

clears throat. hi yes you’ve been one of my fave sonics since day one. you’re just so creative with your muse its honestly impressive how many things you’ve able to come up with for sonic. from the portrayal you bring to the table down to your muse aesthetic its always just spot on you’ve got the blue speedster’s whole vibe down to a T. and your writing is just ? kisses my fingers. beautiful. your sonic is just so dang authentic, seeing him on my dash is always a pleasant sight. and i know this post is namely about sonic rpc muns & muses but i already love bubbles and blossom. i used to watch powerpuff girls when i was rlly little so its a real nostalgia trip to see them on my dashboard.

@hcpebloom @rcsebloom

bunny !! ur heckin sweet.. i love ur amy so much HSDFHDJ she’s just so soft. and unique too!! your headcanons for her are just so cute and make her stand out in her own way and i just appreciate that yo. and i admittedly don’t know a whole lot about cosmo since i havent really watched that far into sonic x but you’ve certainly got my attention with her. we just gotta interact more man ur muses are so precious !! ;_; 

@fortruechaos 

you !! your shadow is so good dude ! your portrayal of him is just so hecking accurate,, i highly appreciate how noble you write him to be. he’s serious, he’s prickly, but he’s got the world’s best interest at heart and it makes my heart do the fluttery thing. your writing is so good too gosh. no to mention youre just so hecking nice ??? youre just overall a rlly sweet mun & i appreciate your presence here in the rpc

@glittcrngcld @livelifc

hey fretcher ? ily. your muses are just so good from your canon characters to your ocs, i just love them sm?? and your ART? i swoon every time i see your doodles on my dash i’m still not over those doodles of lilly and azure ;-; not to mention your edits are scarily good like shit dude teach me your ways. your takes on your muses are awesome man i love ur sonic he’s such a MEME. and elise !!! she makes me so emo god. thank u for your blessed portrayals of these characters ! @elektrisch-felidae​

YOU. precious is just, precious?? HAH. i love her, she’s so cool tbh. she’s so chill and laid back and seems like the kinda cool cat sonic can totally vibe with. you yourself are also rlly chill and fun to interact with--- even if we haven’t much so far. its no secret i just love sonic ocs so much and precious is just awesome. i love the idea of electricity powers. absolutely need to have sonic hang with her more ;;

@coldheartbeauty 

SPEAKING of cool cats with cool powers, i love raven. her sass is just super entertaining to see on the dashboard tbh. i have to see her and sonic get into a sass off one of these days. her powers are also really cool too ? she reminds me of blaze in a sense, but just completely different in her own right. i also just hella love your art style its so cute, your doodles are always adorable to see!! 

INHALES. ok. im done. if i missed anyone i am so sorry i ran out of steam. thank you all so much for making this rpc such an entertaining, dynamic, and creative place to be !!! 

[ducktracy]

129. plane dippy (1936)

release date: april 30th, 1936

series: looney tunes

director: tex avery

starring: joe dougherty (porky), billy bletcher (sergeant, professor blotz), bernice hansen (kitty)

the first cartoon to proudly display “featuring porky”—a trend that would continue on for years and years (my favorites are cartoons that explicitly have daffy in the title, yet the title card still says something like the daffy doc featuring porky or tom turk and daffy featuring porky.) beans makes his last ever appearance for real this time, reduced to cameo, kitty also bids goodbye by possessing a small role, and a glasses wearing dog with an overbite makes an appearance and would reappear once more in shanghaied shipmates. ham and/or ex are the last to survive, making a small cameo in porky’s pet. porky’s time has finally arrived. our hero wishes to enlist in the air force, but quickly discovers he isn’t much good at it. instead, he’s sent to clean a voice operated airplane, and things quickly turn sour—and destructive.

we begin with our hero strolling down the street. he comes across a poster: JOIN THE ARMY — INFANTRY DIVISION. porky thinks it over with careful decision, yet decides it’s not for him. another: SEE THE WORLD — JOIN THE NAVY. the same thoughtful mulling, the same rejection. and finally: LEARN TO FLY — JOIN THE AIR CORPS. the perfect job. porky gives his affirmation with a dutiful salute, and marches inside to speak about the job.

right away, he approaches a burly (and surly) general, who is scribbling away at his desk. porky wordlessly salutes at attention, and is blown back from the impact as the sarge growls “WELL?” porkys says “i wanna learn to f-fl—i wanna learn to f-f-f—“ he can’t quite get it out, and instead resorts to making airplane noises while imitating a plane with his arms.

the sergeant grunts “what’s your name, bud?” and once more porky gets tripped up in his words. the sarge instead hands him a slate and some chalk and instructs him to write his name. a gag too good for words as porky physically writes out “P-P-P-P-P-“ as he continues to stutter his name. to get him to spit it out, the sarge whistles—a common dougherty era gag as i mentioned previously—and porky gives us his easy to remember, alliterative name that rolls so easily off the tongue: “porky cornelius washington otis lincoln abner aloysius casper jefferson filbert horatius narcissus pig.” a fantastic joke that hits really well with the timing. i wonder how many takes that took dougherty—he only stutters a few times. i don’t even have a stutter and i certainly couldn’t spit that out to save my life.

instead, the sarge drags porky by the arm and throws a uniform in his arms. he tosses porky into the changing room and waits patiently for a few seconds. out comes a giant lump of clothes, much to the sarge’s surprise. to assert he’s dealing with the same stuttering pig from before, the sergeant pokes his head inside the oversized collar, and a “hello!” responds from the abyss of fabric. porky’s “hello!” is hysterically out of place and sounds nothing like him, and was likely used for that reason. it’s incoherent, and slightly confusing at first, but it also enhances the gag. to remedy the situation, the sergeant picks up the mass of clothes and dunks it in a nearby barrel of water. the clothes gradually shrink, and we’re reunited with porky as he now dons a suitable uniform.

tex’s love of typography gags is prominently displayed as we get white text on a black background: DIZZINESS TEST. the words whirl around in a circle as we transition to the next scene, the sergeant winding porky up like a top with some duct tape. with a whip of the tape (or ribbon, up to interpretation), porky whirls around the room tasmanian devil style. the sarge stops him and picks him up, just in time for beans to make a cameo by drawing a straight line on the floor. the sarge places porky back down on the line, and he zips uncontrollably around the room.

bullets spell out our next test: TARGET PRACTICE. porky and the sarge are in a different room, both positioned behind a gun on a tripod. the sarge provides a demo by propelling a toy plane into the air and shooting the gun at the plane, hitting it in one go. he grins at his handiwork and offers porky the gun to do the same. the sarge tosses another toy plane in the air, and porky attempts to shoot it. instead, he has great difficulty controlling the gun, shooting everywhere BUT the plane and nearly taking out the sergeant himself. a cloud of smoke fills the scene. once the smoke clears, porky’s left standing on a wooden floor, now finding him outside as the entire building is reduced to debris and bricks around him. the gun and the plane survive the wreckage, and porky gives the gun a frustrated kick. to his befuddlement, the kick prompts the gun to shoot, and it hits the plane perfectly.

READY FOR DUTY. now, the sergeant tosses rifles into the hands of aspiring soldiers, the force of the throw so strong that they each stumble backwards (fittingly accompanied by a gunshot sound effect.) dutiful porky prepares to receive his honor... and a duster is thrust into his possession (still hilariously accompanied by the gunshot sound.) as porky ogles at the duster, the sarge thrusts a paper that merely reads “ORDERS” into his grip and points to a nearby shed. outside of the shed reads a sign: “ROBOT PLANE — KEEP OUT!” perfect for porky to wander into.

porky obeys captain’s orders, and meanders into the shed. he gives a few whistles to alert his presence, and he’s met with nothing. suddenly, a monkey whips a cloth off of a covered object, spinning porky around like a top from the impact. thusly uncovers said robotic plane as the monkey inquires “well?” porky hands him the orders with a loyal solute. “to professor blotz — this helper O.K. for your robot plane tests.”

professor blotz wastes no time interrogating porky, instead showing him his new invention. he drags over a radio and microphone, ordering “get ready!” into the microphone. a signal is sent directly to the robot plane, the propellor whirring to life. “take off!” porky runs out of the way as the plane zooms into the air. professor blotz shows off his fancy voice activated plane, much to the fascination of porky. loops, nosedives, ascensions... there’s nothing the plane can’t do.

now the professor offers the microphone to porky, coercing him with “try it!” porky struggles to get his command out, and the plane comically shudders and jitters in conjunction with porky’s stuttering. the plane does an uncertain l-l-lo-loop d-de l-lo-loo-lo-loop and hastily g-go-goes u-u-up. the plane inches closer and closer to a nearby hot air balloon, and porky manages to order it down just in time. professor blotz yanks the microphone out of porky’s grip as the plane parks itself outside, growling “ooooh, get to work!” and thrusting the feather duster in porky’s hands.

while porky starts his cleaning duties, the professor haughtily places his radio in the window of the shed. out come little kitty, a puppy, and the unnamed dog with an overbite from i haven’t got a hat. kitty giggles as the puppy licks her and asks the dog (a goofy and pluto situation going on it seems) “does he do tricks?” of course! the dog orders his pup to sit up. of course, the microphone picks up on his voice, and porky, who’s dutifully dusting the plane, now finds himself clinging onto the plane which is now sitting on its hind legs.

“wag your tail!” the plane shakes its rear wings to the befuddlement of porky. now kitty tries, armed with a balloon. “get the balloon!” she tosses her balloon and giggles as the puppy chases it. and, of course, porky is thrown into the seat of the plane as it takes off at frightening speeds and immediately pops the hot air balloon, the gag made even more amusing with the detail of two figures floating with parachutes after the accident.

porky is now stuck in a shanghaied plane. kitty orders the pup to chase his tail, and the plane spirals towards the ground in an attempt to chase its own tail. in the midst of the game gone horrible wrong, porky reduces a clock tower to debris as he rams into each “level”. he finds himself flying through a nearby circus. he pops out of the other side of the tent, acrobats performing their routine as they hang from the bottom of the plane.

now led towards the ocean, porky’s plane serves as a speedboat as the acrobats transition into water skiers. the timing of all of these scenes is very well done. just the right sense of urgency conveyed, yet executed so the gags have time to settle in as well. a swordfish leaps out of the waters and cuts the line connecting the acrobats to the plane, and they’re left behind as porky is sent underwater, desperately trying not to cut the fish into sushi. some nice camera angles as porky chases a fish in and out of the foreground.

the plane leaps in and out of the waves like a dolphin, chasing the hapless victim fish. eventually, porky resurfaces with an intimidatingly huge whale hot on his tail. elsewhere, the dog overbite orders his pup to chase a cat (“sick ‘im!”), and porky is sent hurtling straight towards an innocent victim flying in his own plane. the two planes tussle, the poor pilot clinging onto a lone propellor as he sinks towards the sea below. porky tears into a blimp. once advertising “SMOKE ROPO CIGARS”, the blimp is cleverly reduced to “SOS” thanks to porky cutting up half of said blimp.

even the clouds fear porky, taking form of an anthropomorphic human running away from the destructive blades of the plane’s propellor. the cloud man seeks refuge in his cloud house, slamming the door on porky. porky is then launched into a nosedive, shredding a farmer’s stack of hay into a shower of already made straw hats. a group of planes zip out of frame so as to avoid porky and zip right back up into their leisurely positions, the timing spot on and making a seemingly pointless gag much funnier.

a whole crowd of children have congregated around the pup causing so much trouble. all of the kids shout various conflicting commands, all picked up by the receiver. porky’s plane is all but in control, at one point doing back hand springs and zigzagging all throughout the screen. the little puppy has tired itself out, and his owner coos “you’ve had enough”, summoning him home.

good news for porky as the microphone picks up the “come on home” command. the plane skids to an uneasy halt, animation light, delicate, and floaty as the wings scrape the grass. the plane skids right through the shed, and porky is launched out as it crashes into the window. and, with amazing speeds, porky propels himself to the registration office. a sign on the outside advertises the army as porky declares “i wanna learn to march!”

finally, our happy little soldier gets the ending he’s always wanted. bob clampett animates an eager porky marching in the infantry, intermittently flashing hilariously ecstatic grins at the audience. perhaps even funnier is that he isn’t even in time with everyone else’s march, doing a much more hurried speed walk (speed waddle?) slightly out of time. a happy end as we iris out.

while this isn’t my favorite tex porky short, it’s undoubtedly entertaining. speed is a big factor to tex’s cartoons, and it certainly plays a big role in this one, conveying the urgency and out of control nature of porky’s shanghaied plane. the opening almost feels a little TOO fast, with porky getting registered right away and doing all his tests one after the other. it’s a minor complaint, and it isn’t even that noticeable. my ADHD would much rather prefer too fast than too slow. also amazing how, for lack of a better word, relevant this cartoon is today, where voice control becomes more and more popular. not in a durrr technology bad way, but just in a comical way that makes you draw comparisons. a highly amusing short that’s worth a watch, just because.

link!

[arkus-rhapsode]

Fairy Tail 100 Years Quest Chapter 12 Review

Oh my god... What the heck is even going on?

So our cover page is Natsu and Lucy, and Natsu I hope you enjoy that brain freeze.

So we open on Jellal confronting Touka. We learn like how Avatar was devoted to black magic there was a group devoted to white magic. Now this is cool, but literally if you watch the anime recently, that arc was done in 5 episodes. So this feels really odd on how much effort is being put into it.

Like if there was like something tying into Tenrou or hell edolas, that make more sense, given all thee time on it.

So Jellal describes White magic as a philosophy of nothingness, which that doesn’t make sense. Fans of yugioh gx might compare this the darkness and light in that series and how darkness led to creation while light was subjugation. But Black magic is clearly about ending life or manipulating life. I guess you could dumb it down to all life, but literal Ankherseram black magic is portrayed as nothing but death. So wouldn’t white be about life? I guess nothingness as life without personality isn’t wrong,  but this feels like a stretch.

Also, Mashima said anyone could learn any type of magic. So why is that an abnormality? Like if this was Black Clover where you are assigned a single affinity that be one thing.

Suddenly Laxus steps in, and want to make this clear. I don’t exactly hate the idea behind this. That Laxus wants to defend someonew ho is a part of his family, given his new found view on FT, and its using the family aspect of FT on its head. Someone bad could be using FT’s family mentality for personal benefit. Which is interesting.

Okay, well Jellal has a reason, she is  suspect and as a guild master he has authority to take her in. However, Laxus you of all people know that people in your guild will still harm it.

On the one hand im torn, the shounen loving half of my brain wants to see this fight. But the logical half says that these two are mature adults with enough common sense to take this to the run knights. And confrontation is over after this page.

Yeah for a chapter named after the two, its got very little to do with theem. Instead.... The worst thing in the chapter happens. We cut to Diablos’ ship and we see this.

Yes you are seeing this right. For people who were saying I was to harsh, calling this a submissive Erza fetish that Mashima is putting out, I ask you read this chapter.

You know I can’t tell if Skullion means this is temporary as in terms of magic, or temporary as Kyria will grow bored, but I do know that this is nothing but sick and tastess. Also props to Madmorel for having some class to be disgusted by the perv in the group. Like that is becoming a rarity these days.

We are guided down to the lower deck where natsu and wendy are being held, the motion sickness keeping them in check.

I’ve been putting this off long enough, its time to rant. This is bull shit. People told me, i was too harsh on mashima, but at the least I thought this was some sort of temporary thing that was meant so Kyria could get a win in a fight, but this might be some permanent magic effect feels disgusting.

Now, people say that this happened cause people would rag on Erza, called Erza fights awful, and that now Mashima is going in the complete opposite dirction. You didn’t like strong erza, fine! Here’s weak Erza, you happy cynics?

But that’s not the case. People didn’t like Erza because she was “too strong” she was someoone who went from this amazing badass female character, to this static friendship speech spewing tool that never truly got any development. Its painful for people to see a character like Erza not grow after she had developed so much in ToH, but it just was never followed through. All the times she won just felt like a poor spectacle without any character behind it.

Now you could say an erza who needs to get her strength back could be character development. No. Cutting away a person’s strength with “magic” is not character development, its forced regression. Its the author literally creating an unrealistic situation bcause he has no idea what to do with her  after ToH, hell he can’t even fully commit to a love story between her and jellal.

When Erza came onto the scene, she was cool, in control, yet could over react at times. To see her be pushed to her lowest by ToH and then recover and face midnight in OS, is peak Erza character shining through. That this is how erza’s development deserved to be treated. But Watching Erza crawl on the ground, be spanked, and cry for mercy like a hentai doll, all because of plot convince magic is so gross to me. Its ejecting the Erza that we all love and stripping her of all that personality just for this.

So if you blame this development on people who were too hard on Mashima about how he was writing Erza, I, a critic and very judgemental person, find this worse than any of the nakama power or skimpy armors.

Erza being trapped in Kyoka’s sex dungeon was bad, but you know what, EErza actievly resisted it. She didn’t want to be there aand tried to fight back. It wasn’t handled well, but that t least felt like whatt her character would do in this situation. But this was forced upon her and this is nothing more than an Erza made for this arc.

Also, lets step out of this and look at this from the meta perspective that this is also extremely lazy. In Eden’s zero there’s a villain who is all about subjugating women right now, and Mashima couldn’t be bothered to not let that bleeed into his other work. If that doesn’t scream creately lazy, than I don’t know what will. Also that frog thing in Eden’s zero is actuaally better giveen the fact he’s not mind bending away personality, he’s forcibly turning them in statues to do with what he pleases against their will.

Im not saying this cause im anti ecchi or that im anti  mashima, im anti such a hack story writting device that weather you stuck it out as a fan of erza’s till the end of FT or liked her at first but than soured on her, I ask, would you tolerate this? I’m not claiming ownership of the character of Erza, but I am asking do you think that this is worth a character arc because our author couldn’t think of anything better to do with her. You know if you knew Erza was so strong,Ad that in actuality she would sweep away most threats, why did you bring her? I honestly would’ve preferred Jellal and Erza being out of the action cause they had a kid or something. Erza having to pick between biological family and her guild family seems like a better direction to take her character in than this.

To see Erza cry because someone’s magic made her into a slave is so lacking in power than say the sheer emotional weight of watching simon die. Like this is shit is just awful.

We cut to Luccy and here is where I get to credit thee art. Sure Lucy is in a bikini, but what matters in frame is the wounds on her legs. Which is a nice us of having aa skimpy dress and not sexualizing it.

We get a flashback of Lucy realizing Kyriaa took her friends and this is where I give Caramille a big fuck you. Oh sure, this did happen after they showed up, but Diabolos clearly was going to find the place eventually and more importantly, you did fuck all. Like, go screw cause you have contributed literally nothing.

We find out that there is another ship in the area and that Gray is okay because he was saved by you can guess who...

Okay on the one hand, this definitely seems like Brandish’s kind of entrance, but on the other. Fuck you, Hiro. Like she just passed by and saved Gray? Hw? The entire ocean was either freezing or evaporating, what is your range? Also, who is in charge of Alverez? Yajeel? Oi...

Post Chapter Follow up: Its easy to say why I don’t like this chapter. I feel so sick by the sheer amount of laziness and disgust in the slave Erza plot. Like, my god this is so wrong. Not because of the subject, human slavery makes sense in a series aimed at teenagers, but the sheer disrespect that Hiro treated this character, made my blood boil. At the very least in Alvarez, Erza still seemed like she was the same character from beginning of the series.

People who follow me weekly on this review series are probably going to ask when I will stop harping on this Erza thing. Well each week, it  somehow get worse and more gross.  First time it felt like a cheap win, second it was bad use of domination, now this is full blown fetish material.

As for the brandish thing, I know why she is here, Lucy is literally not strong enough to handle 3 DE’s by herself with a few exceeds, and I’d accept that Brandish reentering the series. But maybe leave out Gray? I guess you could say that this is a subversion of the Musica captured by Doryu, but this feels lazier. You could’ve just made this a big “step up Lucy plot,” but no, had to save Gray, even though Skullion should’ve notice when his magic didn’t actually ash up Gray. Plus think about, if they save save Natsu and Wendy this arc and beat these three dragon eaters, wouldn’t some added bit of tension to the quest be finding diablos’s hideout and saving Gray from the “dinner table?”And I was cool with the kidnapped gray thing, but no, we had to have kidnapped everyone else.Also if he was made small how did he survive the water? Like he’s the size of a pin, he’d drown.

Now the stuff with Laxus and Jellal is actually fairly good Its an interesting take on FTs standards vs the consequences of their past when we are suppose to be rooting for Touka to be extracted. And involving two characters that really have been in the moral gray spectrum make them the most qualified for this subject matter. While i definitely didn’t like the Touka plot at first from how disconnected it was from everything (and it really is kinda shoed in on this point) it still is the more interesting plot. It has more intresting ideas than, “more dragons” and is involving the characters that come off as the most interesting.

Final Verdict: 3/10

There is clearly some interesting idea at work here

However, the way the plotline for the dragon portion of this arc has become a mess

I don’t use this phrase lightly, “Erza literally deserves better than this”

Plot convince playhouse at its finest

[sofhyuck]

Think of You

Genre: Soulmate!au, gender neutral, might become a series idk yet

Summary: You know who your soulmate is but he doesn’t know you.

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N once again thank you so much @choco-seventeen for reading over this you are so wonderful and amazing wowo <3

Masterlist

His hands travelled down your waist as he placed light kisses along your collarbone. A soft gasp left your lips causing a smirk to grace his lips. His fingertips pressed into your sides as your hips bucked up to meet his. The only light that penetrated the darkness came from the neon signs outside, peeking through the sheer curtains of your bedroom. With every passing second his fingers travelled lower, almost reaching where you ached for his touch. Slowly, he opened his mouth to speak.

"My name’s –″

The shrill sound of your alarm broke the dream and you groaned in frustration. These dreams started as soon as you arrived in Seoul four months ago, signaling that your soulmate was nearby. Each dream differed and only recently had the dreams become so…intimate. However, last night had been the first night he had attempted to tell you his name. The thing was, you already knew who he was. How could you not, considering his face was plastered all over the city. After minimal research you discovered your soulmate was the charismatic leader of Got7 Im Jaebum, a name previously unfamiliar to you. Despite the strong urges, you resisted learning more about him. How unfair would it be to him if you already knew every detail about him and he knew naught about you?

Reaching over to shut your alarm off, you got out of bed, mentally preparing yourself for the day ahead of you. It wasn’t that you necessarily hated your job, but it was certainly a drag. Especially since it involved an hour commute. For some reason, however, this morning you felt oddly light. Almost like you were excited to go to work. Labeling the cause as a little too much sugar the night before, you finished your typical morning routine. The door to your apartment swung shut and you shouldered your bag, heading out into the world.

A film of sweat began to form all over your body as you trudged towards your office building. The sun’s rays were especially unforgiving, and your blazer did little to quell the heat. Being on a crowded subway for forty minutes helped even less. A blast of cool air greeted you as you finally reached the law firm. Greeting the secretary, you headed up the stairs to your office. It wasn’t necessarily an office since you were so new, more so a glorified cubicle. You didn’t mind though; your coworkers were nice and the pay was good. Just as you had settled into the work flow, your coworker, Hyungseok, peeked his head into your office.

“Good morning Y/n! I was speaking with a few other people and we decided we wanted to try that new café on Apgujeong-ro for lunch today. You down?”

Ever since your first day, your coworkers had made an active effort to form a bond with you in the form of lunch. Some people might not have enjoyed such interaction, but you found it helped you better assimilate into the work environment.

“Of course,” you replied with a smile and a nod of your head, “I’ve been meaning to mention it for the past few days now!”

Hyungseok shot you a grin and a quick thumbs up before heading back to his office. Now you really did have a reason for the giddy feeling in your stomach. Lunch was always one of your favorite meals, and you had truly been meaning to go to that café for a few days. You could just never find the right time, until now. Settling back into your chair, you fell back into your work flow.

❃❃❃❃

A soft knock three hours later broke you out of your state of concentration. You turned your chair around to be greeted with the smiling face of Hyungseok. He was a handsome man, a few years older than you, and you had always thought he would make a good soulmate. In your first days at the office, you had occasionally thought a relationship between the two of you could have been possible.

It wasn’t completely unheard of to date someone before finding your soulmate. There were stories of people never finding their soulmate and, as people grew older, the fear of not finding theirs grew stronger. The fear pushed them to find significant others on their own. While some people were perfectly content on their own, and even speculated they never had a soulmate to begin with, it was more common to find someone as a replacement. That being said, Hyungseok already had his soulmate and you were constantly dreaming of yours. So a friendship was the only acceptable relationship between you two. You didn’t mind, though. As time passed you began to see him more as an older brother than a romantic interest.

"You ready to head out?” he questioned, smile still on his face.

"Yea, just let me save my work and I’ll be right out!”

He waited patiently outside your office as you saved your work and collected the necessary belongings for the short outing. Giving him a small smile, you walked side by side to the lobby where the rest of the lunch-goers had congregated.

"Y/N-AH!” Jieun, your self-appointed office best friend, yelled as soon as you appeared.

"Jieun!” You tried your best to equate her enthusiasm. Despite her being rather forceful when becoming your friend, she was quite nice and fun to have around. In fact, she was the only person you had told about your dreams and, specifically, the subject of your dreams. She may have been a social butterfly, but protecting her friends was always the number one priority.

"How was your weekend? I heard you finally went to that spa I told you about, even though you promised to go with me.” A small pout crossed her face as she recounted your betrayal.

"We were supposed to go together and you know that,” you retaliated with a laugh, “it’s not my fault someone had to go to the newest Pony Effect popup store.”

 "They had limited edition highlighters and you know I can’t resist.” She huffed.

"Not to interrupt, but are you guys ready to leave?” Hyungseok interjected. You both just laughed and nodded your heads in response, walking towards the doors.

Luckily, the walk to the café wasn’t too long, and you and Jieun were able to inform each other on your weekends. Jieun had successfully bought three limited edition highlighters, two lip tints, and an eyeshadow palette, much to your chagrin. She never seemed to cease her spending’s, worrying you to no end.

As you all settled into the café and received your orders, the conversation between the two of you switched to the topic of your dreams.

“So they’re becoming more frequent? Are they still just like, you guys holding hands? Have you kissed yet?” Jieun interrogated.

"Well,” you started, somewhat reluctantly, “they’ve begun to escalate quite a bit.”

Jieun’s face contorted to one of confusion before realization quickly took its place.

“You mean you’ve had sex?” she whisper-yelled, eyes blown wide.

A deep blush spread across your face as you quickly glanced around to ensure no one else had heard.

“We…we haven’t done it yet but, the dreams have been taking place in the bedroom.”

Silence settled over the two of you. Jieun stared into space with a look of concentration on her face. With a sudden jolt, she broke out of her concentration, slamming her hand onto the table. The table fell silent and it was her turn to blush, muttering an uncharacteristically quiet apology. Turning to you, she spoke in a rushed whisper,

“You know, this café is only a few blocks away from the JYP building. Hell, that’s why I agreed to come so I could drag you over there. I mean, everyone knows what happens when the dreams escalate.”

It was true, stories of the infamous sexual dreams were told far and wide, a cautionary tale that even schools could not resist teaching in health classrooms. Jieun herself knew the dangers that occurred first hand.

When Jieun first met her soulmate, well, she hated her. It wasn’t anything her soulmate did, it was just that Jieun led her life believing her soulmate would be a man. So, it came as quite a surprise when she began dreaming of a woman, and even more of a shock when they ran into each other outside of their dreams. They both agreed not to make any immediate moves, ignoring the warnings of waiting too long. Months passed and neither of them made an effort to meet again, until their dreams moved into the intimate stage. By then, you had become friends with Jieun and witnessed firsthand the side effects of staying away from your soulmate for too long. Constant headaches, cold sweats, and trips to the bathroom were only a handful of the effects Jieun endured. Finally, the two had enough and met up. The effects stopped almost immediately and, as they spent more time together, they learned to overcome their fears and fell into a deep, loving relationship. Despite knowing all this, you still felt a strong resistance to finding Jaebum.

“I can’t just…walk over there Jieun.”

“But you can! How hard can it be? Just walk right in and announce your presence!

"It won’t be that easy and you know it. There has to be heavy security there and so many fangirls must try to convince the guards they’re someone’s soulmate every day! And the chances of him just casually hanging around outside the building? Really fucking low.”

Sensing your frustration and inner turmoil, the topic was dropped and you all finished your lunches before heading back to the office. A heavy sigh leaving your lips, you sat down at your desk to finish your work.

Maybe next time, you thought, next time I’ll try.

❃❃❃❃

But next time didn’t seem to be coming anytime soon. Despite the café being close to the law firm, there were many restaurants closer and more convenient. Plus, you had just been assigned to a huge case with Hyungseok and the work load was not slowing down. Most lunches were spent indoors with your coworkers as you raced to prove your client’s lawsuit wasn’t based on pure emotion. This was the first case you had been assigned to and you needed to prove your contribution to the firm.

Medical malpractice isn’t what most people imagine when they think of lawyers. However, it was a niche where lawyers were much needed. The case you were working on involved a man losing his ear for what was thought to be a cancerous lump but turned out to be the result of a sand fly. The trial was fast approaching and the two of you had just about everything you needed.

“Hyungseok-ssi, what do you think of this?”

You held up a picture of your client’s ear.

“Look at the lump, and now look at these pictures of a cancerous lump versus a sand fly bite. There are numerous more similarities with the sand fly bite than the cancerous one. And look at this, in the x-ray you can clearly see the parasite beginning to take form! How could the doctors not notice this!”

“You’re right, y/n, the doctors should have easily been able to identify it as a parasite! I think this is the last piece of evidence we really need! Well done!”

You smiled at his praise, feeling as though a weight was lifted off your chest.

“I think we can finally make our client’s case, and not a moment too soon. I say we go out and celebrate tonight,” Hyungseok added with a smirk, “I’ve been wanting to go to the club for quite sometime now, we can make it an office bonding opportunity.”

“Oh no, Hyungseok-ssi I couldn’t,” you gasped, “won’t it be too awkward seeing some of our sunbaes in such a situation?”

“Come on, y/n, it’ll be fun. I promise.”

With a heavy sigh you agreed, much to Hyungseok and Jieun’s delight. In fact, Jieun was so excited that she insisted on dressing you up for the night or else you might “end up looking like an old cat person” which may or may not have been true. Once you arrived home, only a mere half hour of peace was allotted before Jieun came knocking down your door, already decked out and ready to let loose in her shorts and short sleeve bodysuit. As soon as you opened the door she made a beeline for your closet.

"You actually own clothes that aren’t for work?” Jieun didn’t even try to mask the surprise in her voice.

"You know, despite what you might think, I do actually enjoy dressing up to go out. Sometimes.”

“Yea, major emphasis on sometimes,” she replied with a roll of her eyes, “oooh, I like this, especially with this shirt! Hurry and go try it on!”

With that you were ushered into your bathroom, clothes in hand. She had chosen an outfit you hadn’t worn since college. Why you had brought it with you? For moments like this when you were able to let loose. Pulling the shirt over your head you glanced at the mirror.

“You still got it y/n” you smirked, admiring all angles of your body.

“I’m still waiting, y/n. it can’t possibly take you this long to get dressed.”

Rolling your eyes while smiling lightly, you opened the door. Jieun, who had been leaning against the opposite wall, sprung up at the sound of the door.

    “Daaaamn,” She let out a low whistle, scanning up and down your body, “you’re definitely getting dick tonight.”

"Oh my god Jieun!” You laughed, gently slapping her arm. She laughed with you, grabbing your arm and linking it with yours before heading out the door.

"I ordered the Uber while you were in the bathroom and it should be arriving any minute now.” As soon as the words left her mouth the Uber pulled up in front of your building. The two of you stepped in and headed off to the club. It was a relatively short ride filled with Jieun’s quick chatter and your laughter. As the car pulled up to the club you could practically feel Jieun’s excitement bouncing around the enclosed space. You couldn’t blame her, you were excited too. It had been a while since you last went out and had fun, even if the night would be spent with your coworkers.

After thanking the driver and heading inside the search for your coworkers began. It wasn’t too difficult and within a few minutes you settled in beside Hyungseok. Immediately he asked if you wanted anything to drink. You shook your head no. It might have been a night to let loose, but you didn’t want to get too carried away, especially since you were still relatively new to the firm. With a shrug Hyungseok headed over to the bar to get drinks for the rest of the table. Looking around you noticed there was still a fair amount of people especially for a Thursday night. Hyungseok returned and Jieun took no time to down her drink before dragging you to the dance floor. With little resistance, you allowed yourself to be pulled to the middle of the floor. A few minutes passed while you danced and sang along to the music, finally letting loose. Suddenly, a wave of dizziness hit you, almost causing you to fall over if not for Jieun grabbing your sides. She quickly waved Hyungseok over as she could hardly support you in her current state. The two pulled you over to the table and sat you down, one of your other coworkers running to get you some water.

“Y/n? Are you okay, can you hear me?” Jieun pressed her hand to your forehead, concern lacing her words.

Your coworker returned with a glass of water which you drank without hesitation. Slowly, your senses began to recover and you were able to support yourself without help.

“I’m fine now, I just got a little dizzy.” You said with a small smile.

“Maybe you should head home.” Hyungseok worriedly suggested.

“No really, I’m fine, you guys go have fun I’ll just sit here.”

Not having any of it, Jieun insisted on calling an Uber and taking you home. The entire ride back to your apartment you tried to apologize but Jieun was having none of it.

“You’re my best friend and your health comes before my need to party, y/n. You almost fainted for Christ’s sake!”

Still you couldn’t help but feel horrible for ruining her night as she put you to bed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, ok? Rest well and call me if anything else weird happens.” With that she left and you drifted off to sleep.

❃❃❃❃

After your small episode at the club nothing else happened and you were able to complete your case without any flaws (Which you won. Your observation about the pictures really did prove to be the missing piece of the puzzle). Life had settled back into its usual pace, a few minor cases here and there floating through the office with no signs of your soulmate.

It had been about a month after the club incident when the office felt a blanket of stress settle over. One of the biggest cases yet had hit Hyungseok’s desk, this time without your help. Sensing his immensely stressed state, you headed over to his office and lightly knocked on his doorframe. He looked up, a tight smile settling over his face.

“Everything ok y/n?”

“I think I should be the one asking you that, Hyungseok-ssi. You seem stressed to the max.” You said, a light laugh passing through your lips.

“You’re right y/n.” He said with a heavy sigh. His posture fell as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Is there anything I can get you? A snack or some coffee?”

“Actually, I’ve been really craving one of those drinks we had at the café on Apgujeong-ro. If it’s not too much to ask…”

"Not at all,” you responded brightly, “I’d be happy to help you! I don’t have too much going on right now myself.”

He thanked you profusely, promising to repay you, which you insisted was completely unnecessary. Grabbing your coat, you headed outside. Autumn had arrived a few weeks ago and the crisp air brightened your mood. The streets were fairly empty, and you made it to the café without a problem. As you collected the drink you noticed a bit of a commotion further down the street. Paying the cashier, you figured you had time to figure out was going on. You pushed the front door open and followed the noise. Rounding the corner, you immediately stopped. You felt dizzy, your eyesight going blurry before clearing a split second later.

And then you saw him. Im Jaebum, standing outside of the JYP building, surrounded by a handful of fans. And he saw you. Over the heads of the girls surrounding him, his eyes locked with yours. He froze, and you panicked. Before he could even think to do anything, you ran. You didn’t know where to. Allowing your feet to lead, you weaved through the streets, drink in hand long forgotten. Suddenly your body completely stopped, as if someone had flipped a switch. In front of you stood a small convenience store. Without realizing you slowly gravitated towards the doors, pushing them open, a bell overhead signaling your entrance. Aimlessly you wandered through the aisles. Now cold, you dropped the drink in a trashcan, mentally promising Hyungseok you’d buy him a new one. Eventually you found yourself wavering in front of the drinks. Reaching out to pick up a glass of strawberry milk, the front door burst open, bell nearly falling off its post. Shelves blocked your view, so you turned back to the drinks only to find him standing before you. Despite being half collapsed over the refrigerators and clearly out of breath, a wide smile was spread across his (incredibly handsome) face. Your breath hitched, eyes wide, silence settling over you. Finally catching his breath, Jaebum spoke.

“Hi,” he breathed, grin still in place, “my name’s Jaebum.”

“Y/n,” you licked your lips, still in shock, “how – how did you find me?”

“I don’t know. I just, kind of knew you’d be here.” He said with a shrug. “It was like something was…I don’t know…”

“Pulling you here?” You finished his sentence. “I know what you mean, I didn’t even know where I was going when I ran I just sort of…did. Sorry about that, the running away I mean. There were just so many people around you and I –”

“It’s fine, honestly,” he cut you off, “there were so many of them it was probably better that we both ran.” He added with a small laugh.

Realizing the timing of your meeting wasn’t exactly ideal, you exchanged numbers and headed your separate ways, smiles never leaving your faces. Hyungseok wasn’t happy to see you return so late without his drink. Too happy to care, and too excited to think of responding, you sat down at your desk. Finally. Finally, you had met him. Your soulmate.

[starrbomb]

For your langst prompt thing, maybe Lance actually having major depressive disorder and starting to crumble under it. The team starts to notice and confront him. Then as a group they try to help him through it. It's not very original, I know...

honey, it doesnt matter if it’s not very original, its something that you want to see and that is all the reason i ever need to write for you. and as for this prompt, this actually hits quite close to home ( since i myself also have clinical depression and went years without proper treatment) so if you yourself are dealing with this, you aren’t alone darlings.

__________________________________________If anyone ever asked lance when all of it started he could never really pin point it to an exact cause or time in his life.

it’s just always been there.

thinking back on it now, he would say that the excessive amount of anxiety has been with him since first grade. a knot that formed in his stomach and wouldn’t go away, a knot that just seemed to weigh him down and make every movement forward feel like the wrong thing. something in his head telling him that going to school was a bad thing; that something bad was going to happen if he went to school. but when he tried to explain it to his parents, they just told him that it was probbly just a stomachache, that everything was fine.

but that unnamable knot came back every time he got ready to go out somewhere, or whenever he had to do something that he didn’t believe he would succeed in. it always came back and made things seem impossible to do alone; that if he tried something wrong would happen and it would be all his fault.

but he learned how to deal with it; albiet not in the best way, but it was better than being trapped in his own heartrate and short breaths. sometimes he could ignore the feeling, push through it to do mundane things like homework and chores. other times, all he could do to stop an anxiety attack was to just avoid the subject all together.

the depression came into play around high school; making friends was hard and the bullying for his accent and where he came from was even harder, it didnt help that he was pretty much the baby of the family; all of his siblings had already graduated back in cuba so there was no one to keep an eye out for him at school and struggling with both understanding the lessons he was given and the complex language barrier that he still had between himself and everyone else at the school, it all took its toll on him. whenever he came back from school, he woould go straight to his room and collapse on his bed, wishing for sleep to just take him away from all the hateful words and mocking he got from his ‘classmates’ day in and day out. he barely ate, even when it was his mother’s cooking that wafted into his room. he just couldn’t gather the motivation to go out of his room and be apart of the world. not while his bed was so safe and warm and judgement free.

it was after Lance had missed three school days in a row like this that his mother and father had realized just how bad things were for lance. they took him to a psychiatrist to see what was wrong and what they needed to do to get their old Lance back.

and thats when he was diagnosed with major clinical depressive disorder.

his doctors immediately had him start taking anti depressents and anti anxiety medication; switching between this one and that one before they finally found one that worked with him and his body. it was slow going at first, and many times it felt like it wasn’t doing anything at all, but then one day lance was doing his usual chores and realized that it didnt take as much energy as before to do it, he wasn’t wrestling with himself to get things done as much as he used to. he actually felt somewhat…..normal. he felt light.

Lance always made sure to keep some of his AD and AA on him at all times, just in case he had to rush to his classes or accidentally forgot to take them. he didn’t expect to be thrown out into space with just a handful of his medication on him and no one actually knowing about his mental problems. he didn’t expect to be blown up, destroying what little remained of his medications, protecting the one man who could have made him more of them if he had known about them.

but now, here he was in the middle of space with nothing left of his medication, and all he could do was hope that now that he knew what it was like to actually feel happy and carefree and……normal, he wouldn’t be as effected by the sudden stop of his meds. he knew it would take a few days for the medication to completely work out of his system so he took the short amount of time left that he had of feeling normal to make ways for hijm to try and find that normalcy again without the help of his meds.

but soon enough, the dark feelings came back. it was slow at first; taking longer to get ready for training, loosing the energy to go all out during sparring sessions. Lance could tell that the others were picking up on his weird behavior, how he didn’t really contribute to conversations anymore and that he even stopped flirting with the princess. it was as if they were watching their blue paladin slowly die right in front of their eyes; and they had no idea as to why. they all became so worried about their friend that they all met together during one of Lance’s now usual naps.

“ I’m sao worried, what if he’s planning on leaving? what if he just disappears in the middle of the night? what if- what if-” Hunk stammers out, tears threatening to spill as he works himself farther and farther into an anxiety attack. thankfully Pidge takes a hold of his hand and makes him sit down on the sunken couch and does her best to calm him down, “ Hunk, its okay. Lance would never just up and leave us. you know that he still loves us and even if he is acting like this, he cares about us too much to ever just leave……right?” Hunk isnt sure if she was trying to goad him into agreeing or if she was trying to find the answer to calm down her own worries about their friend, but he nods anyways, taking a look back up to his friends as a way of saying that he’s okay.

“maybe it is a bug that has number three acting so out of sorts; like the stomach one that number five got just a few weeks ago!” Coran suggested, getting a few spare chuckles out of Hunk and Shiro. “ while that is a good theory Coran, im not sure that’s what going on with Lance. it doesn’t seem like he’s sick with anything; it’s like the life is being sucked right out of him.” Shiro states, getting a gasp from Allura. all eyes turn to her as she whispers “ What if this is Haggard’s and Zarkon’s doing? what if they are actually draining the life right out of him.” everyone seem to pale at the thought of it, Shiro unconciously gripping the forearm of his artifical limb.

the tense moment is quickly intrupted as Lance runs into the room, sweat staining his undershirt and a terrified look of desperation painting his face.

“Lance?!”

many of the occupants in the room standing as Lance seems to heave a sigh of relief and almost collapses in the doorway, heaving in breath after breath as if he has been running for hours. Thankfully, Coran was close by and caught him from completely falling and helped him slwoly down to the floor, the others immediately rushing to his side.“Lance?”“are you okay?”“what’s wrong?”“are you hurt?”

everyone asking question on top of question at once, not sure what to do to help and yet wanting to do anything to try. once it seemed like lance somewhat caught his breath, he chokes out “sorry- sorry I-” Shiro takes hold of Lance’s hands, getting him to look at him. and Shiro was surprised to see such a sad and scared look in his eyes. “ Lance, you did nothing wrong. you just scared us a little. can you tell us what got you so panicked?” Lance doesn’t seem eager to share, but he manages to squick out “ it’s just me being stupid.” Pidge is the one to speak up this time, squirming her way to being face to face with Lance “ Lance, you aren’t stupid. trust me, I’m the smartest one around and i’m telling you the truth: you. are. not. stupid.” Lance can’t help but let out a breathy chuckle. “ but this part of me is.” Pidge puffs up with irriation and is obviously ready to speak up again, when Lance beats her to it “ i know, i know im not stupid, but this part of my brain makes me think stupid things” lance starts out strong, trying calm down the others, but the more he talks the quieter and timid he becomes, baiting everyone to barely breath so that they can hear every word, “ I thought that it was really quiet and then my anxiety kinda took over and made me start thinking that you all had just left me and that you didn’t care about me and i know that’s stupid; i know that you guys would never do that to me but i couldn’t stop thinking like that and i was getting scared that the stupid voice inside my head was right so i started looking for you guys and i didn’t find you guys anywhere and that just kept feeding my anxiety more and more and that just fueled the depression and i started running everywhere looking for you guys and i’m sorry, I know i’m ranting and stuff but it was just like before back home and i thought i had better control of it but I-” Lance is immediately cut off by Pidge throwing herself into his lap, knocking him out of his spiralling thoughts and back to his surroundings and noticed that all of his friends were on the brink or already crying, he can feel the small wet patch on his undershirt from where Pidge has buried her head into his stomach, clinging to him as if that would be enough to hold him together. man, he really was falling apart at the seams, huh? he thought he had it under control, but instead it caused him to go back into that dark and negative head space all over again.

“lance? do- do you honestly believe that we would-” keith whispers out, not even having enough strength to finish the sentence

“no! no, i know you guys would never abandon me! its just my anxiety and depression making me think stupid things that i know aren’t true and yet it makes things feel like they are. that’s why i said that that part of me is stupid.” Lance stammers out, clutching to Shiro’s hand and Pidge as he explains. “ it’s just been so hard to keep my anxiety and depression under control since i lost my meds.”

“then why didn’t you tell us that you were struggling and needed medinical help? you know we wouldn’t have judged you for needing help.” Keith counters, his sadness and betrayal leeching into his words.

Lance looked down at the ground at the words, knowing that they were true, even if Shiro was getting on Keith for being angery at him because of something that Lance couldn’t control. “i-” he whispers, catching everyone’s attention once again, “ i thought that you guys wouldn’t understand, or that you wouldn’t care. i know that it was just those dark thoughts spreading lies in my head, but they can be really persuasive when they want to be.”

Shiro looks back towards Lance’s hunched over form, unconciously protecting him from the outside world and the ominious what ifs that seem more like mountains to him than the mole hills they truly are.

“Lance….” shiro waits until Lance finally looks up, a look on his face as though he’s bracing for the worst. “ I’m glad that you shared this with us, it must have been really hard to talk about this. im proud of you.”

it was with those words that Lance felt like he was able to take a full breath again. they didn’t hate him for hiding this from them; they weren’t going to leave him. and for the first time in weeks, Lance felt like everything was going to be okay, even if its just for a little bit. and that’s all he could ask for in that moment. everything was going to work itself out.

[aurimeanswind]

Fearful Endeavors—Sunday Chats (1-29-17)

To Disclose Up Front

So. I’m afraid. It’s a thing I think goes without saying as a very empathetic United States citizen. I’m really, really afraid. 

It may seem crass, or tone-deaf, or ignorant, but I don’t genuinely have the energy to enter in the national dialogue against the seemingly facist regime that is beginning to plague my great nation. I have a lot going on in my life, and not a lot of time and resources to compromise in order to assist in this thing I also care greatly for. That may make me a bad person, or at the very least, a worse person than who I could or aspire to be.

I’m aware of that, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry most specifically to the people who are directly affected by this disgusting situation we find ourselves in.

It is not excuse, but as I’ve talked about multiple times before, I have a very overactive sense of self-empathy, and seeing this torment has begun having a very detrimental effect on my personal well-being and health. It is absolutely in no way and excuse, but it is very much the honest reason I find myself shying away from the dialogue and discourse that is plaguing many of my social media feeds, my friends’ conversations, and beyond. I can’t be a part of that, as a selfish, 20-something year old, who wants to make his dream come true, and wants to figure his life out.

I wanted to put this here, up front, as a full reveal of my position, as Sunday Chats is and always has been your peak into my psyche, my well-being, from worst to best, and what my week has been.

This has been my week. I will attempt to keep reading, to keep learning, to keep watching, and stay attentive. 

With this said... Onto the game-talk.

Twitter in the gaming space has blown up in a fun way recently from this little piece that’s been making the rounds:

I managed to get over 30 likes when I tweeted this out, and I didn’t want to bog-down my followers with all my replies to this, but I thought it was fun, so why not participate! I did the first 9 of these on Twitter, and here is a link to that thread to see those replies and those first 9:

THREAD

So for my editorial today, and I’ll try and keep this succinct, I am going to do my 10-30. STRAP IN!

30 Likes, 30 Games

#10

Best gameplay is tough. I may ultimately have to give it up Spelunky. But Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix is a close second. With Persona 4 being a close third.

But Spelunky is a game I continue to play and play, not for any particular reason, save for the fact that it plays so damn well.

#11

My current gaming system of choice is the PS4. The Dualshock 4 is maybe my favorite controller ever made, and the system is a comfortable, easy to use and navigate platform with a bunch of great deals and exclusives. Where the Super Nintendo or PS2 are probably my favorite platforms of all time, the PS4 is a comfy go-to right now.

#12

Journey is by no means hard, and is in no way off-putting. It’s beautiful, and simple, and it’s mechanics and gameplay are a great showcase of what video games can do. If I were to say a game of my all-time favorites that everyone could and should play, especially those who have no context for video games as an art form, and what they can accomplish, it’s unquestionably Journey.

#13

A game I’ve played more than five times? Haha, that is actually not a short list.

The big ones, though, would be The Legend of Zelda A Link to the Past, Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask. Played each of those at least six times each. A Link to the Past maybe 12 or so times, to completionist levels of finished. But the big one, because of how much time it is in my life, is Kingdom Hearts 2. I’ve “FULLY FINISHED” that game maybe five or so times, with a couple additional playthroughs on top of that. Love those games

#14

I have multiple desktops on my computer, and for the past quite-a-few months years the first three have been Persona 3, Persona 4, and Persona 5. On my phone Rise Kujikawa also occupies my lock screen, as she has since I first finished P4G in 2013.

#15

Since I can’t play until I finish this

#16

Easily it’s The Last of Us.

#17

This one is actually really hard.

For all of his dumb BS, I do love Xehanort in Kingdom Hearts. He is a great antagonist.

In the same vein, Liquid Snake/Ocelot is right up there from Metal Gear.

But maybe ultimately it’s Duke, from Tales of Vesperia. He is a really great villain, and such a wonderful contrast to Yuri, the protagonist.

#18

Maybe not my #1 favorite but always an inspiration to me and one of my all time heroes: 

Samus Aran

#19

Never Not the Normandy

#20

JRPGs

All my anime boys (and girls!)

#21

Persona 4 Golden. Best story, about finding the truth and true friendship along the way.

#22

This one hurts. The biggest for me is easily Alundra 2

The first game was masterful, and it’s sequel had literally nothing to do with it and was a total cash grab on the cult following of the original.

Breaks my heart :(

#23

Plenty of things fit here. I mean, Uncharted 4 or The Last of Us or Witcher 3 could hit here on a technical level, but Journey, Kingdom Hearts, or Tales of Vesperia could also hit in the style department.

Pick your poison.

#24

Does Super Nintendo fall under classic? If so, then A Link to the Past.

If we’re trying to go older and older, than probably Mario Bros or Pac-Man.

Sooner than that, Super Mario Bros 3

#25

Haha, how about all of them. A game I plan on playing is all of them. A few at the top of my mind: Battlefield 1, because people won’t shut up about it. Nier, the original, because I’m really curious about it, and 999, because Nabeshin really loved it.

#26

Persona 4, Mass Effect 1-3, The Witcher 3, The Last of Us (the best of all 4).

#27

Two here:

One, the final battle with Xemnas in Kingdom Hearts 2.

But even bigger is the FIRST FIGHT ON TOP OF A BATTLESHIP FROM METAL GEAR SOLID 4 HOLY SHIT.

The literal definition of “epic” distilled down to a video game scene. Holy shit. The music from all the games. The style changes. My heart is racing just thinking about it.

#28

The Zelda team and Naughty Dog are close behind.

#29

Honestly probably something weird like Dead Space or P.T. I used to hate horror so much, but those two are some of my absolute favorites of the last handful of years. Dead Space is a bit older, sure, but I adore that game.

#30

No words need to be said. Not an original statement, but I stand by it.

Whats on Tap

Resident Evil 7

Hey why don’t you just watch me play this game!

Loving it so far and I talk about everything I’m loving in that video!

The Division

Once more you can look so i don’t have to tell you. Got dragged back into this weird nightmare by friends and I’m having a blast.

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep 0.2 A Fragmentary Passage

Other than having maybe the best worst name ever, HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS

KINGDOM HEARTS 3

I BELIEVE AGAIN

It’s really good.

Tales of Zestiria

This is becoming a bummer of complex, weird emotions.

It really feels like a mostly-misstep for that series, and the open world parts of it are contrived and actively bad.

But I want to finish it. There are cool, interesting parts about it.

Questions

Weird. It’s very physically exhausting, because I have to walk a lot. And I have to drive a lot to get there. And I’m not used to that.

It’s really stressing me out.

I don’t have a lot more to say about it right now, but we’ll see how things develop.

Hi Roger.

Clearly you’re asking the wrong person.

Thank you for your follows.

Love you, brotha.

SO EXCITED.

But seriously, PAX East is my favorite show, as you know Harold. Can’t wait to go again, talk to folks, make some connections, and really work that show again. It’s the only show out of the year I get to work, and it’s a ton of fun.

Heh, well, about that.

I’ve never played Resident Evil 2! Or Resident Evil 3! Or Zero! Or Code Veronica!

I’ve only ever played 4, 5, and about half of 6. I have recently for the first time EVER been playing that Resident Evil 1 remake on PS4, which has been FASCINATING. Resident Evil 7 seems super great so far though!

Uh, to go? Hopefully? I mean, I am going under the assumption that I am approved for my press badge, which is the only way I can make it.

I don’t know who all is going, but I sure hope it’s a bunch of cuties like usual! Right now, myself, Tony, maybe Scott, Jarrett, and Logan Wilkinson are going for IrrationalPassions.com. More stuff on that soon. I know Kaylie is going because she told me so! I really hope Joey Noelle goes. Danny Juarez really wants to go. Trevor Starkey will be there!

Sure we can hang out Xyger. 

I personally don’t like pineapple on pizza. But I love pineapple! I’ve had it before and it’s not like I hate it or anything. Like what food you like! Im not a fan of mustard but a whole bunch of people really like that, so people can just like different things and enjoy them and that’s great because it makes us all different and that’s a good thing! 

Uhh... I don’t know?

Danny you need to pay all your debts off first. I’m worried about you. Like, on a near constant basis I am worried about Danny Juarez. For sure.

But yeah maybe we can do that sometime. I don’t know. You keep saying “when I come visit” to Vegas and I have no clue when something like that could happen, but we’ll see!

Okay, I think that’s all I have in me, emotionally, for today.

Shoutouts

Shoutouts to all these incredible people that give me hope:

via The New York Times

That’s all I’ve got. I’m gonna go play Kingdom Hearts now byeeeeeee~~!❤️

[raindrenchedstories]

1 left to die 3. The girls are back in town.

The hunter. Was still. Out side the door. She could hear it whimpering. Poor thing. But that didn’t exactly mean she’d let it stay so close to her refuge. Rummaging around, she found useless items to try throwing at it.

After a few well expired food articles were tossed down, she eventually located the hunting rifle from earlier. Now that she had a chance to look it over, she noticed a note attached to it. ‘Left in good will for the next survivor to pass by.’ For that, she was thankful. Holding the weapon close for a moment.

After a few seconds of attempting to figure out the bells and whistles. Ensuring any form of safety was off and such, she slid the muzzle out the window. Resting her chin on the butt of the rifle. Pointing it to what she believed was the hunters location.

“Go on! Scat!” She warned. Sadly, it was utterly ignored. She huffed, squeezing the trigger. Three things happened in this moment.

One. The bullet missed the hunter, instead slinging to his right side over his legs.

Two. The gun kicked back, slamming Kim in the chin before sliding harmlessly down, landing on the hunters lap.

Three. The force made by the weapon effectively knocked Kim on her backside. As well as caused her a decent welt on the bottom of her chin. A welt that stung as well as locked her jaw in a constant state of sore. Laying on the ground, she clutched the minor injury wincing.

And now... The rifle was on the other side of the door. Fortunately, the hunter got the hint and was well on his way far from her.

Unfortunately, she startled the entire block of infected, and alerted them to her presence. The girl groaned, rolling onto her side. What ever. Unless the tank returned, they couldn’t get through the door.

With a huff, she staggered back to her feet. Searching her rations for something to snack on. Trail mix sounded good. She curled up under one of the tables filled with weapons and ammo, munching away.

Out side the door she could hear another Hunter. Maybe the same one. It snuffed around a while before giving a sharp bark. Slapping the door. She only curled up further. Of course it returned. She fired at it.

What she wasn’t expecting was three gunshots ringing through the air. The infected scattered, or were blown to pieces. Peeking out from her position, she found a taller, slimmer figure on the other end. It knocked politely.

“There someone breathing’ in there?” It was an older womans voice, old and gnarled. Tired. But it was human. Kims head connected with the bottom of the table as she sprung to her feet making a definite bang.

The moment she peeked out the door she came across the other woman. She was a pale woman, but thankfully, not infected. One ear had been shredded at the lobe. The other had small pock marks from where she once carried piercings. She kept her hair quite short as well. Over much of her form, what could be seen, were light scars.

But the way her face lit up. That made the girl smile right back. She almost threw the door open, only for the other woman to hold it back. “Whoa whoa kid. You don’t know me. Don’t just swing the door open for anybody.”

“I-What?” Kim couldn’t believe it. This woman was scolding her? For showing her face?

“Now, I’m not going to pester you long. So no need to fuss over me. I just got three questions for you.” She nodded. “First. You alone?”

Kim backed away, sealing the door back up with the heavy iron bar drilled into the walls. This woman might not have been a friend after all. And there SHE was unarmed for the most part. She wasn’t about to touch a gun after THAT. “Yes.”

“Good, you’re learning quick. Alright second question. Why’d you shoot?” The woman leaned on the door with a huff. Kim could hear something rattle not far off.

“There was a hunter… Laying on the door. I needed out.” The girl responded. Rubbing her new bruise.

“Hmm. Third. How’d you get that? Did someone or something hit you?” The angry flare in the womans voice cued Kim in. Her behavior was more protective than aggressive.

“That’s four questions.” The girl sighed. “But… Same answer. It was the gun. It… It just slammed back on me.”

“It’s called Kick.” The woman laughed. The butt of the rifle Kim had dropped was pushed in through the slotted window, and she gratefully received it. “No one ever taught you how to shoot eh?”

“I mean… When would I have used it?” The girl smiled. Life. Human life. Something that didn’t want to eat her.

“You have a point there. Hey. I’m not alone out here. Got a friend waiting on me in the parking lot. We saw that store down there had been looted, and then we heard ya. If you want. You can tag along with us a while.” She jerked a thumb out.

“I thought I didn’t know you?” The girl grinned, grabbing hold of her bag.

“You don’t. But lone wolves don’t last out here.” Kim lifted the bar, pulling the door inward with little abandon. Until she caught sight of the hunter laying before them. She scrambled to get her gun aimed at the beast. However the older woman snatched the barrel and pulled it away before she could fire.

“Ah! No.” The hunter jerked back the moment the woman spoke up. “He’s cool. Can’t hurt ya’ even if he wanted to.”

She wrapped an arm around Kims shoulders with a smirk. “Kid. Meet Cotton.” She pushed the girl closer to the Hunter, who perked up instantly. “He sniffed ya’ out for me. You took an interesting rout up here girly.”

Kim flattened herself against the older woman. Cotton seamed unfazed, giving a snort before stalking towards the edge of the rooftop. It was about then that Kim noticed the Hunters tape. Red. Unlike the general duct tape found on most hunters.

It didn’t seam to affect drag, as the sleeves and legs of his clothing had been long since shredded. She glanced back at the older woman as she was guided along. “He’s friendly?” She blinked in confusion.

“Oh yeah. Kind of has no choice. He’s shit at hunting so we feed ‘im. Give him shelter. Even marked him with that tape so we don’t shoot him by mistake.” The woman waited for Cotton to leap from his position. He didn’t really seam to aim for anything, like other hunters. He just went for it. Free falling.

Kim’s older companion took the more intelligent route and just climbed down the fire escape with a casual smirk. “Okay but… Why didn’t you just shoot him? Or you know, anything other than let him travel with you?” Kim followed along. Almost out pacing her new friend.

“Ah it’s a long story. I’ll tell ya’ when we aren’t avoiding zombies alright?” The woman hit the pavement, jogging to keep up with her hooded pal. Kim, meanwhile strode easily past her with little thought.

“Alright. I can’t say I’m all that comfortable with this. But if he hasn’t attacked you so far.” Kim jammed her fists in the pockets of her hoodie. Watching Cotton closely. “So. Why do you call him Cotton?”

“Cotton eye Joe. He’s only got one eye. I watched the poor bastard lose it to a jockey. Kid, anyone ever tell you that hoodie makes you look like a hunter yourself?” The woman sighed, striding along behind her.

“No. But that’s kind of the point. They leave you alone for the most part, if you initially look like something meaner.” She shrugged.

“Smart.” The woman placed two fingers between her lips. A sharp, loud shriek of air ripped past her. Causing Kim to scramble to shut the woman up. The older woman just wrestled her away laughing. “Relax! For some reason Zombies don’t notice that shit.”

The screeching of tires raked through the relative silence of the streets. An RV blew past them, blaring Kiss’ ‘Made for loving you’ out the open windows. The woman flattened herself against a wall as several infected hurdled after the vehicle.

“She’s going to lead them away from us. Then double back on silent.” She patted Kims arm and headed for the store. “So you’re local. Why not help me gather up everything we need?”

“It’s got an alarm.” Kim deadpanned. “Whole reason I was hiding up there. Not to mention the smoker.”

“Smoker eh?” She pulled the door open. Giving a sharp hissing noise. Cotton crawled in ahead of her, and she shut said door leaning on it. “Three. Two-”

“SCREEE!” The sounds of a mighty spat rang through the building. Clattering, breaking glass, and the wheezing of a smoker on the move.

“I thought you said he was shit at hunting?” Kim gazed through the window, finding that Cotton had missed his mark on more than one occasion.

“Eh, he gets it eventually. Just need to be patient.” The woman cast a glance over her shoulder. Nodding the moment Cotton managed to pin the wheezing menace. “Okay let’s go before he kills it.” She opened the door quite casually and tugged on the back of his hood.

“Grab what you can kid, we have a whole camper to fill.” The woman attempted to wrangle Cottons claws away from the smokers chest. As well as keep her coughing friend from attacking HER in the process.

“It’s KIM. Not kid. And is there any reason we’re not letting Cotton kill it?” Kim began grabbing everything she could. Making sure she had extra water for the trip.

“Well. Buddy and I have two hunters under our control here. We figured if we could get hunters why not other specials eh? I can think of a dozen and one uses for this guy.” She mannaged to pull the hunter off while gathering up the rope like tongue from the smoker.

Cotton huffed. Storming over to Kim and instantly wrapping his arms over her shoulders. Pouting. “Um...”

“Pfft. Looks like you found a buddy!” She smirked, folding her arms. The smoker she’d been fighting with was now well and truly bound. A confused look flicked over it’s features. “Any how you said you were Kim? Pamela. Nice to meet you kiddo.”

She gripped the lanky infecteds bonds, dragging him to the door. Soon after gathering as much as she could into the baskets provided by the store. Even managing to log into the store’s security system with a smile.

“Um...”

“Smoker had a security card.” She lifted the little plastic strip. “Say hello to Larry guys. Here. Hand me that shit. I’ll scan it so the alarm doesn’t go off.”

They worked systematically. Scanning everything food or water related. As well as a few luxuries. Pam seamed quite happy the moment she raised a concealer. It was the wrong shade for her. Off by about thirty tones. But she scanned it any how.

Kim was a little confused by some of the objects Pam took. Aside from the foundation, she dragged pairs of mitten from the back storage. Extension cords, buckets. Diapers were the strangest. And it worried Kim.

Catching the look on the girls face, Pam just smiled. “Don’t freak kid. Haven’t had the chance since this shit happened. But, they are absorbent. And in a pinch can be used as a bandage.” She tossed a fresh pack of Huggies at the girl.

The telltale rumble of an engine made it’s way to them. Pams face lit up. “Alright. Got what ya need?” The girl nodded. “Good. Let’s go ankle biter.” She hit the pay button on the computer and input the cash option.

The RV had been fortified on the outside. Mostly at the wheels and engine. The rest of it had been covered in a nailed on, slick metal. Driving was yet another woman. Patting her hands on the dash in time to the low playing music.

Pam slung a few baskets into the open side door with ruthless efficiancy. Kim struggling to keep up.  “Hey Rox! You know how you were all puffed up about Pan bringing you a rabbit yesterday?” The woman grinned, winking at Kim.

“Yeah?”

“One healthy survivor AND a smoker! Let’s see ‘im top THAT!” She hurled the still baffled infected in among the baskets. Cotton followed soon after, making a point to step on the poor thing. He found a large dog bed in the back corner and curled up there.

Kim found herself being patted gently on the back as a prompt to enter the wheeled fortress. “Also is this the right type?” Pam stuck the concealer in Rox’ face.

“Fuck yes! They had it!?” Kim made a point to seal the door well, carefully stepping over the struggling smoker. The two women chatted while she did so. Allowing her time to sit down and think. The interior of the RV was a little torn up.

Cotton demonstrated quite happily how that happened. As he raked his claws directly over a well worn seat.  Despite the scratching post literally nailed to the wall. “COTTON!” Pam and Rox managed to shriek in unison.

“You keep that shit up and I’m locking you in the shower again!” Rox was a woman much smaller than Pam. Who rivaled the smoker in height. But she looked to be far more energetic. She had a defined mocha skin tone. One that fit that concealer with out issue.

Any and everything she wore was a different shade of camouflage. From the cut off cargo pants to the jacket. “So Kim is it?” She tilted her head. A bright smile on her features.

“Y-yeah.”

“Good to meet ya! We’ll get you set up. Show you the ropes. Introduce you to the rest of the family and all. And Pam? Could you lock the smoker in the shower instead? He’s stinking up the place.” She slapped the other woman on the arm. Making her way back to the wheel.

“mhm.” The woman braced herself as the vehicle rumbled back to life and made it’s way through the crowded streets. “Kid, give me a hand and open that door.”

Kim gave no argument. Pulling the shower door open and watching with amusement as the slightly taller infected was hurled in with little grace. Pam stepped in a moment to open the vent above then back out and shut the smoker in.

“So… Who’s in charge?” Kim tapped her thumbs together anxiously.

“I mean. It’s kind of both Roxy and I. You’re the first survivor we’ve had in a long time.” She sat casually in the ripped up seat beside Cotton.

“But Roxy said there were others.” Kim tilted her head. Her response was Pam gesturing at the hunter sound asleep at her feet.

“So. We’re the only ones?” She slumped.

“No, That’s a mathematical impossibility. We’re just the local crowd.” Pam deadpanned. “I mean. You made it on your own for quite some time there.”

That was re-assuring.

They drove for a while. Almost hitting city limits. When a quiet, heart breaking sound escaped Roxy. “Oh. Shit.”

[madigabz]

8-02 Hey baby, I was doing some reading yesterday & earlier today. Wanted to share some stuff just so you can read about some interesting things. Like chanting. It's pretty intriguing to me but idk if you'll like it. I was going to journal before work but I didn't give myself enough time. I slept in bc I didn't sleep the other night lol. My life is a mess but at least I have fun with it. Well I try to anyway. I wish I could have you here to relax and calm me down before work. I get so anxious sometimes about things. Never realized how much shit gets me going..worked up I guess you could say? Not really but I'm just OCD af and always on tip. I took a quarter of an addy bc I wanna study a lot tn. But it gets my heart racing still lol. I can definitely concentrate and focus more bc I truly do have adhd but I think it fucks w that heart murmur i have. Idk I like taking it & smoking too. I was emotional & soooo horny the last couple of days and I started my period i think? It might just be light but that's good! I hate how periods fuck up your hormones and make you so emotional lol. A little hope to not be negative & thinking I can't have kids. Even tho you said you can't bc you've blown in a lot of girls and nothing's happened -.- you're the only bf I've ever felt protective over. I think it's bc you're promiscuous:p. It'd be nice to have a conversation about life and share a bowl w you. Get fucked before work and be in a better mood ;) ughhh I can't wait! Do you remember sending me a pic back in like November I think? It was on our fb mssgs & it makes me wet just thinking about you bending me over the bed D: I was sad this am just in pain from yoga yesterday and I just want to be fit and healthy. Hate that one workout takes a week to not be in excruciating pain. Makes me stick to my diet more tho. Yoga and meditating with you:) Alan you're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can't wait to be the mother of your babies one day<3 I reread your last letter again. Makes me have a piece of you in the day. Woke up and read it, it gets me through a lot of days. I feel like I can't be as positive as can be if I don't smoke. You've been sober since before New Years... and I'm just so fucking proud of you, dealing with everything the way you have been. I mean it when I say that it has proven to me that you really have grown up and became a man. I know you aren't the person you were 5 yrs ago, a yr ago or even since January... You are still my rock & strength even though you're locked up. Still my reason for my effort in life. Thank you for making me feel like everything is okay. Even if you don't say it all the time, I know you're a hard headed, strong mother fucking person and I'm in love with you. I think I make you a better person and you do the same for me. You're my motivation babe and I thought about that while I was bummin' out earlier. It's why I read your letter :) but when I had that thought "Fast Car" came on and it was like a sign :b not trying to sound gullible and silly but it was like a "relax your shoulders, breathe, you're going to get what you deserve. Everything is going to be okay." It was like I had you pulling me in and reassuring me I'm not kidding. I remember standing in front of the mirror or cooking in the kitchen and you'd wrap your hands around me from behind. God I love you... I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please don't fuck me over. I gotta get to work:( but it's my ticket to come see you!!! I'll link everything later to this letter... I take pics through out the day and wanna just check in like you're apart of my everyday life. Love you so fucking much!! 4:20 & I think I might play with myself before work(; write later babes:* 8-07 so it's been a couple of days now and I'm sorry I haven't wrote to you. Im doing a bunch of interviews and what not through out the day still. I just got hired at bdubs & it's the closest restaurant to campus so I know I'll make good $!!!! I have a couple interviews this week for nannying & massaging. Things are finally coming together!! We have both weathered the storm and I truly believe we are going to get rewarded for being so positive and understanding our circumstances. I'm at my first day of training at bdubs..I was doing paperwork and I saw that sammi requested to follow me on instagram, I seriously got tears in my eyes. I didn't know if she hated me or not. I told her to call me sometime when she is able to, it has made my whole day! I'm hoping you call tonight but idk what your sanctioned days were. I'm guessing fri-sun but idk..so many meetings and stuff rn I'm trying to stay on top of everything. Irdk how moms do their daily stuff, their husbands stuff, housework, providing/ working, bills, baby, drs, everything! I need to learn how to manage my time better. I wish i could teleport to you & spoon you in your bed tn. Please stay positive about October Alan, it's the only thing I'm holding onto. I hope you like all of the stuff I'm going to share w you. I thought it might make you think a little more hopeful. I've been talking to your mom quite a bit lately, would you want me to ask her to come when I visit the weekend of the 24th? We are about to start touring & what not but I wanted to check in w you. I love you so much Alan<3 -Chanting protects us from negative energies: In the state of meditation the mind is thoughtless. In this state, some negative energy can trouble us. On the other hand, a protective sheath that wards off negative energies is formed around us when we chant.-Nowadays many people practice meditation as a psychological self-improvement technique rather than a tool for spiritual growth. the benefits derived from such meditation are also at a psychological level. Based on the above comparison, for spiritual growth in today’s era, chanting is of greater value. If you already meditate with the intention of achieving spiritual growth, we recommend you complement it with the spiritual practice of chanting.-Om Mani Padme Hum:The two syllables, "padme", meaninglotus, symbolize wisdom. ... Thus the six syllables, "om mani padme hum", mean that in dependence on the practice of a path which is an indivisible union of method and wisdom, you can transform your impure body, speech, and mind into the pure exalted body, speech, and mind of a Buddha"-Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu mantra: "May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.” *(I used to "pray" or ask the universe everyday to for 'the world get happier and safer each day. & whatever happens to me, I'm able to walk away with a smile on my face' I have said the same thing since I was like around 10 yo.) -You should reach the large bead (or tassel) after 108 repetitions. When you do so, it is traditional to turn the beads around and continue in the opposite direction. Now repeat your mantra silently 108 times, moving one bead at a time, as before. Meditate for a few minutes. Do this by sitting quietly and envisioning your chosen form of the divine within your heart or at the point on your forehead between your eyes. If thoughts come, let them come, but realize that you are not your thoughts, and gently dismiss them.!!!!!!!!*(THIS IS THE BEST SENTENCE I HAVE READ) -Increase the number of mantra repetitions and amount of time in meditation as you have the time and inclination to do so, and are able to do with concentration.You may also repeat your mantra silently throughout the day as often as possible!- Mantra recitation, which is called japa (“muttering”) in Sanskrit, has been an important aspect of Yoga practice since Vedic times. It consists of the repetition of the same mantra, which can be composed of a single syllable (e.g., om) or a string of mantric sounds (e.g., om namah shivaya). As Patanjali reminds us, the yogic path is propelled by practice and dispassion, and significantly, the Sanskrit term for practice—abhyasa—means “repetition.” Through repetition we create either positive or negative habit patterns. Mantra japa produces positive mental tracks, helping us to gradually overcome spiritual darkness. It is a powerful technique for focusing the mind and for harnessing the body/mind’s subtle energies in completing the yogic path of self-transformation. As stated in the concluding chapter of the Kularnava Tantra: “Japa is so-called because it removes the sin accumulated in thousands of lives and because it reveals the Supreme Deity.” The greatest “sin,” of course, is ignorance of our own true nature.-I will put the Law of Least Effort into effect by making a commitment to take the following steps: " 1. I will practice Acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were. 2. Having accepted things as they are, I will take Responsibility for my situation and for all those events I see as problems. I know that taking responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for my situation (and this includes myself). I also know that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, and this alertness to opportunities allows me to take this moment and transform it into a greater benefit. 3. Today my awareness will remain established in Defenselessness. I will relinquish the need to defend my point of view, and I will feel no need to persuade others to accept my point of view. I will remain open to all points of view and not be rigidly attached to any one of them."- Least effort is expended when your actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love. When you seek power and control over other people, you waste energy. When you seek money or power for the sake of the ego, you spend energy chasing the illusion of happiness instead of enjoying happiness in the moment. When you seek money for personal gain only, you cut off the flow of energy to yourself, and interfere with the expression of nature's intelligence. But when your actions are motivated by love, there is no waste of energy. When your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and accumulates , and the surplus energy you gather and enjoy can be channeled to create anything that you want, including unlimited wealth.-This leads us to the second component of the Law of Least Effort: responsibility. What does responsibility mean? Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself. Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, responsibility then means the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now. All problems contain the seeds of opportunity, and this awareness allows you to take the moment and transform it to a better situation or thing. Once you do this, every so-called upsetting situation will become an opportunity for the creation of something new and beautiful, and every so-called tormentor or tyrant will become your teacher. Reality is an interpretation. And if you choose to interpret reality in this way, you will have many teachers around you, and many opportunities to evolve. Whenever confronted by a tyrant, tormentor, teacher, friend, or foe (they all mean the same thing) remind yourself, "This moment is as it should be." Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.-There are three components to the Law of Least Effort: three things you can do to put this principle of "do less and accomplish more" into action. Acceptance simply means that you make a commitment: "Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur." This means I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. This moment -- the one you're experiencing right now -- is the culmination of all the moments you have experienced in the past. This moment is as it is because the entire universe is as it is.- If the karma is complete, this will be part of what you release. If it is not, patterns can be reset this month to reflect a higher vibration so that unfinished business and karma can be completed or continued in a way that comes from a place of more love, compassion and forgiveness. This includes self-karma, those deep hard lessons we all came in with this lifetime whether they are physical conditions, emotional or intellectual challenges, or just simply difficult personality traits. Whatever has been anchored through your childhood wounds and imprinting has become part of your patterning. That energetic patterning is your belief system that informs the quantum field around you to manifest certain aspects of your life. Much of this becomes automatic and unconscious until you have an opportunity like we do this month to go within, dig it up, re-evaluate its relevance, and make a change. So, the bottom line is that this is a great month to reset and recreate who you are, what you want to manifest, and how you want to show up in the world. It is going to take work, commitment, discipline and a true willingness to change.- You may also find yourself resurrecting old hobbies or projects or even collaborations with others especially around the arts and music. That garden that you dreamed of planting a few years ago may suddenly manifest because it is the right time. Or that business deal you gave up on will come around again with fresh energy and new insight. Be inspired by the possibilities and be creative in your problem solving and reconfiguring of what runs your physical life. It may be time to retire some aspects and rekindle others. Take a risk and take advantage of what comes your way, always willing for reevaluation and reset.- *(there's a total solar eclipse where the moon blocks the whole sun aug 21st) And speaking of eclipses, even if you are not in an area where they are visible, it would be very very wise to honor them in some way as powerful allies for reset. Try to take time around the eclipses, especially the solar one on the 21st, without interference from your schedule. “We will not actually see the results of what these eclipses have offered us until later in the fall. But you can be sure that if you put the intention into what you want reset, you will get their support.”-When you become defensive, blame others, and do not accept and surrender to the moment, your life meets resistance. Any time you encounter resistance, recognize that if you force the situation, the resistance will only increase. You don't want to stand rigid like a tall oak that cracks and collapses in the storm. Instead, you want to be flexible, like a reed that bends with the storm and survives. Completely desist from defending your point of view. When you have no point to defend, you do not allow the birth of an argument. If you do this consistently -- if you stop fighting and resisting -- you will fully experience the present, which is a gift. Someone once told me, "The past is history, the future is a mystery, and this moment is a gift. That is why this moment is called 'the present'." If you embrace the present and become one with it, and merge with it, you will experience a fire, a glow, a sparkle of ecstasy throbbing in every living sentient being. As you begin to experience this exultation of spirit in everything that is alive, as you become intimate with it, joy will be born within you, and you will drop the terrible burdens and encumbrances of defensiveness, resentment, and hurtfulness. Only then will you become lighthearted, carefree, joyous, and free. In this joyful, simple freedom, you will know without any doubt in your heart that what you want is available to you whenever you want it, because your want will be from the level of happiness, not from the level of anxiety or fear. You do not need to justify; simply declare your intent to yourself, and you will experience fulfillment, delight, joy, freedom, and autonomy in every moment of your life. *Literally, I believe I got you back into my life bc I wanted it so bad. You are proof that you can "get whatever you want bc you want it from the level of your happiness" I knew I would have you back one day honestly, I just had doubt. I knew it even before last April when you told me I couldn't let you go bc you were the one for me. You just had to grow up. I moved to Colorado to let you do that. -research tells us that every thought and emotion creates a chemcial reaction because it immediately changes our neurochemicals that affect our mental, physical and spiritual health,Your mantra should be your own; something that resonates with you and helps you recenter in the moment. Keep in mind that what de-stresses one person may not be calming for another. So stick with what works, even if it’s something as silly as “Hakuna Matata.” How could this 90s mantra not make you smile? Plus — it means no worries ... for the rest of your days.:) “This Too Shall Pass.” While it’s important to live in the present moment, it’s also comforting to remind yourself the stress you’re enduring now is temporary — clear skies are on the horizon.“Make It Work.” Tim Gunn’s power phrase is poignant: Take a deep breath and remember that you’re in control and there’s always a solution. Don't worry be happy(: & ofcourse from bob Marleys song "3 little birds" Don't worry about a thing, Cause every little thing gonna be all right. Singin: don't worry about a thing, Cause every little thing gonna be all right! It's gonna be be alright man. Rise up this mornin, Smiled with the risin sun, Three little birds Pitch by my doorstep Singin sweet songs Of melodies pure and true, Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:) Singin: don't worry bout a thing, Cause every little thing gonna be all right.Singin: don't worry (dont worry) bout a thing,Cause every little thing gonna be all right! * hope you sang that with a Jamaican accent too :) alright who knows how many stamps this will be but this was the best way for me to show you that I'm thinking about you and doing everything I can to help you be positive & assured. I'm by your side baby. No matter what I'm going to wait for you. 8-08 i love you

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Nikon’s 83x-optical-zooming Coolpix P900 is insane

Say hello to a really big lens.

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

Its all about that lens.

There is no way to talk about Nikons excellent, though occasionally frustrating, Coolpix P900 super zoom camera without first addressing the lens.

This wide-angle, telephoto wonder can, at 24mm, pull in a startling amount of visual information. At 2,000mm, it can pluck the moon from the sky.

Its a stunning level of versatility rarely found in a fixed-lens camera.

SEE ALSO: Nikon D810A is the ideal camera for taking stellar photos of the stars

As a result, the 16-megapixel Nikon Coolpix P900 is an excellent shooter in a wide variety of scenarios. Itll handle the portrait as well as the nature photo, and the action shot as well as the, well, moon shot.

It does all this despite having an image sensor that, at 1 2/3 inches, is smaller than competing super-zoom cameras (the size of a sensor defines how much light a camera can bring in).

24 mm

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

2000 mm

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

Nikon released the Coolpix P900 back in 2015, but it remains their most powerful super-zoom offering. Nikon sells it for $599.95, but you can find it online for under $500, which is an amazing deal.

Despite its many months on the market, most people I spoke to (even pro-level photographers) were unaware that theres an 83x optical zoom camera on the market and would marvel as I electronically extended the lens three inches from the Nikon Coolpix P900s relatively compact 3.18-ounce body. And they were equally stunned when I showed them some of the pictures I took without using a tripod.

However, actual pros will likely look elsewhere when they learn they cant shoot RAW still images or 4K video (it tops out at 1080p full HD at 60 fps).

Many consumers, though, dont care to work in RAW (because theyre not manipulating images in a photo editor) and do not even own a 4K-capable computer monitor or TV to showcase all those pixels.

The basics

Best described as a prosumer, super-zoom camera, the P900 offers virtually all the automatic and manual controls you would want on a big-lens camera. In addition to automatic shooting, you can choose aperture- or shutter-priority, fully manual, saved settings, scenes (like action/sports), and effects. The latter are akin to the filters you find in your favorite mobile phone shooting apps and are best avoided.

You can shoot through the electronic viewfinder or the flip-out, 3-inch monitor. Though I grew up using optical viewfinders on classic DSLRs, Ive gotten used to shooting through the monitor. The one on my Sony Alpha NEX-5 tilts up and down, which lets me raise the camera above my head and see over obstacles to get my shot. The Nikon Coolpix P900s monitor, which flips out and away from the camera body, is much more versatile. I can tilt it up and down or rotate it 180 degrees to face front, which is super useful for selfies and vlogging.

A good look at the 3-inch monitor and P900’s controls.

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

I wish the monitor was touchscreen, but I got used to always using the cameras triad of dials to adjust settings and the zoom rocker to zoom in on playback photos. My other frustration with the monitor was that even though I could adjust the viewing angle pretty much any way I wanted, the screen would often black out at the most inopportune times. To get around this, I usually had to put the screen perpendicular to the lens. If I got too frustrated, I simply switched to the electronic viewfinder, which automatically turns on when I put my eye near it.

I have yet to find a prosumer camera thats fully figured out the best way to handle adjusting manual settings. The Coolpix P900 splits shutter and aperture controls between two dials about an inch and a half apart. The shutter speed dial can be hard to adjust when youre gripping the camera with your right hand and have your finger positioned over the shutter button (or resting on the zoom control).

Store and more

The P900 stores images and video on SD cards, but is also Wi-Fi enabled. When coupled with Nikons poorly named WMU or Wireless Mobile Utility App (iOS or Android), you can take photos through your phone or view and transfer images already on the cameras SD card.

Transferring photos from the camera to your phone is an awkward, multi-step process that I did a lot because I loved posting the Coolpix P900 photos on Instagram.

With the zoom fully extended, the Nikon Coolpix P900 is 9-inches from the front to the back.

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

To transfer images, you first hit the menu button on the camera, navigate to the wireless symbol and choose connect to smart device. On the phone, you open your Wi-Fi settings and connect to the Nikon camera. After that, you open the WMU app and then select Pictures on Camera. After that, downloading images is self-explanatory, but that convoluted step-by-step process must be repeated every single time.

Those frustrations aside, I have never been so in love with a lens.

Those frustrations aside, I have never been so in love with a lens.

The lens (f/2.8-6.5 and 4.3-to-357mm, which is 24-2,000mm in a 35mm equivalent) slowly telescopes in and out with a toggle switch surrounding the shutter, and the zoom control on the side of the lens.

Its not just that the lens gets you optically 83 times closer to your subjectits how it does it.

The Flatiron at no zoom.

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

Try seeing this detail with the naked eye.

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

A zoom that large will also amplify minute vibrations in your hand, which usually means that, at maximum zoom, youll need a tripod. The Coolpix P900, though, includes excellent vibration-reduction technology inside the lens, which helps it lock onto subjects, even ones that are 238,900 miles away.

Repeatedly, I would rest my arms on my chest or find a pole to lean on to shoot objects hundreds or even thousands of feet away. I was honestly shocked at how well the Coolpix kept things in frame.

The Nikon Coolpix P900 lens made this moon shot possible.

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

Found this tiny wonder atop a flagpole in the middle of Union Square in NYC.

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

I used it to shoot the top of the World Trade Center and people enjoying an afternoon of sightseeing on the Empire State Buildings observation deck. There is a digital zoom that electronically gets you to 4,000mm. I tried it, but, from my perspective, the image quality doesnt compare to the 83x optical zoom.

The top of the Freedom Tower at 83x.

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

Hello, Empire State Building dwellers. We see you.

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

As much as I loved the zoom. I was equally impressed at how well the Coolpix P900 handled action shots (I used the “Scenes” mode to let it autodetect and adjust the settings) and even flash photography. I usually avoid using the flash at all costs, but during one very dimly lit party, I was truly pleased with how the Coolpix P900 handled these shots. Nothing was blown out and the colors all looked natural.

This is also an excellent wide-angle shooter. I was pleasantly surprised at how, when zoomed all the way back (meaning 24mm), how much of a scene I could pull in without visible distortion around the edges of the frame. The camera is also a speedy auto-focuser, which is a good thing because manual focus control is kind of terrible. To manually adjust focus, you use the tiny Rotary Multi-selector. I would really prefer a focus ring on the lens.

The Nikon Coolpix P900 can easily capture action without a flash…

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

…and with a flash.

Image: lance ulanoff/mashable

The only thing thats a little too slow for my taste is the speed of the zoom. Im used to a manual, 200mm zoom lens that I extend instantly by hand. At first, waiting almost five seconds for the P900s motor to fully extend the 83x lens felt tedious, but I soon got over it and basked in the pleasure of the most powerful zoom lens I have ever used.

As for video, it looks good and the stereo microphone is sensitive.

You can find more megapixels, bigger sensors and maybe better software, but I challenge you to find a better deal for this much zoom. The lens on Nikons Coolpix P900 is truly unforgettable.

Nikon Coolpix P900

The Good

Spectacular 83x optical zoom lens Great wide-angle shooter Great action shooter Great price

The Bad

Convoluted Wi-Fi downloads Balky monitor

The Bottom Line

An amazing super-zoom lens on a good camera and at an amazing price.

WATCH: This Lego camera actually works.

Every editorial product is independently selected by Mashable journalists. If you buy something featured, we may earn an affiliate commission which helps support our journalism.

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Section 3

I am going to talk about the famous Playstation character and the game itself – ‘Crash Bandicoot’. Growing up with this game and seeing its been evolved into different gaming platforms most notably the upcoming reboot on PS4, this is my main reason for choosing this out of the unlimited options with 3D. The series has a total of 18 games and has shipped over 50 million copies worldwide, so to say it is popular would be an understatement.

fig 2.1

Im going to start with the character ‘Crash’, the franchise is tailored at at gamer’s of all ages. In my opinion his creators Naughty Dog have pulled of the perfect blend of coolness but also child friendly and I honestly can’t see too many people arguing with his features. The pull this of by his jeans (with belt) big runners, finger less gloves, spiked up hair and of course the daring name ‘Crash’. The makers at Naughty Dog have identified their target audience, so how do they go about making it?

Much like my animation albeit no comparison in stature, I’m sure Naughty Dogs creation wasn’t over night in fact, I’m sure the original plan was much different to how the ending piece (shown above )was. Like any 3D animation the foundations or a guideline in which how to make rig this character would have been made. One thing I’ve learned from my animation task that it is important to put yourself away from the idea of what you would want or like and apply yourself to thinking/focusing on what your target audience want. Crash bandicoot was introduced at time of new emerging technologies in game consoles and the PS1 was it’s stage so this character would have had to tick a lot of boxes in order for it too be a hit due to the competition of rival games/consoles, which is why I think it’s got the characteristics of a cool character that people want to cheer on.  Drawing the character could be deemed as relatively simple as it’s body shape isn’t too out of proportion.  

The colouring of the character is one of which that looks dangerous in a good way, his facial expressions like shown above show a bit of cheeky side to his character and this is complimented through his attire all round makings this character a very fun 3D animation that would certainly appeal to anyone who hasn’t played the game before this is apparent in the 50 million sales worldwide.

I could certainly give rigging this character a go and would be confident in doing so. The animation is a collection of polygons such as cubes and cylinders. I certainly it was worth debating that his face once started as a cube polygon, with the appropriate extruding and smoothing of different vertices done. The likes of the hands and the feet are merely adopted through someone elses and by inserting a plane of much like the face just insert the appropriate polygons for example a cylinder for the fingers, then adjusting the width and length of the cycling in the vertex feature too work around the perimeter of the finger.

As you see in the game the player moves very rigidly when moving forward, whether this is intentional I’m sure however, I do think for myself to create the skeleton of the body is very possible and he isn’t a very flexible character apart from spinning. I think the most challenging part would be to make sure the character doesn’t deform, adding in paint weights to the appropriate joints and make sure the joints are connected properly are very important.

fig2.2

This franchise is ever changing with the emergence of new technologies, so new designs would have to be made on software's such as Maya and 3Ds Max just to the game doesn’t become outdated.

   fig 2.3

This is why PS4 have decided to remaster the game to revamp the old game. The trailer above shows the games (plot, moves etc) are still the exact same however, the quality has been given a 2017 gaming look.

This is why PS4 have decided to remaster the game to revamp the old game. The trailer above shows the games (plot, moves etc) are still the exact same however, the quality has been given a 2017 gaming look.

As you will see from the 2 scenes above the quality of the detail of the game has improved immensely which is great to see as the the game itself is great but gamers now have became prone to such high quality that old games like Crash Bandicoot are being taken for granted, hence the revamp.

So what would the industry professionals of Naughty Dog have to do to make it more appealing and revolutionise the franchise?

Simplicity of this game is what made this game so enjoyable and I say this as a fan of the game growing up. What you see is what you get with Crash Bandicoot, this game didn’t and more so now doesn’t need to be blown out of proportion as it would only lose its identity. Games like Crash and Super Mario are fantastic in that they are different as they’re from the one camera perspective which by the looks of things haven’t been changed in the Crash Bandicoot game.

fig2.4

When comparing the new crash trailer to an old one, you can really see the difference in quality in the short videos. After completing my own animation I would feel confident in recreating the scenes of crash bandicoot. The minor details of creating the wooden boxes, wumps and his face friend are all straight forward and are made more effective through sound effects when they come into contact with crash. A surface shatter could be applied to the box when it’s crushed by crash, a for texturing it also a straight forward process as there is nothing that can’t be made in illustrator when using this game.

Overall, If I were doing my assignment again I would certainly be going for this game as it’s do able and fun to create. The humor aspect of this game ties in well with the animation which is something I’d consider myself good at mixing. It’s a straight forward outlay but it’s very enjoyable and simple to recreate.