#hand this man a towel

[hawleywilby]

[introspectivememories]

sorry but do you ever think about the fact that the bernard we have today is a direct amalgamation of everything that happened in his past and i know that sound like such an obvious statement to say but it actually kills me to know that you can draw a direct line from who he is today all the way back to that sixteen year old boy who watched his best friend bleed out. like it is the defining moment in his life. it fundamentally shaped who he is and the person he's become. he is the bernard we know and love not despite the grieves shooting but because of it. because the gangs all got together and shot up his school. because tim walked out of that room with nothing but a baseball bat. because his darla got shot. because he watched her gasp and cry as she died. because he watched the blood coagulate around the wound. because he sat there and held her hand as her life drained out of her. because he walked into school that day with a joke he knew would make her laugh and her nose would scrunch up and she'd snort a little and tim would roll his eyes at him and call him ridiculous and instead he walked out with a bloody white shirt, blood under his fingernails, and two friends less. because, even now, almost half a decade out from the shooting, he thinks that if he closes his eyes, he will always be that stupid, scared little sixteen year old, holding the cooling body of dead best friend.

[ratatatastic]

his face when he says "but weve earned that right so i think we'll take it" and his face reseting after the question because silly time is over we have to lock tf in!!

florida panthers @ la kings (quebec city) | 10.5.24 (x)

he has a delightful face to me

[wraithdance]

Fortress [Part 1/2]

Synopsis: Kyle’s self control is tested by the pretty thing that wears Captain Price’s ring. Pairing: Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick X Cougar!Reader; Established Price x Reader Note: AFAB!reader, no pronouns used for reader, No physical description or use of Y/N, reader is older than Kyle by several years. This will have a part two Content warning: NSFW, solo masturbation, mentions of reader having breasts, a man being down bad

The fact is Kyle has always had a thing for milfs/cougars.

It’s information he’ll never admit, but if you see his eyes lingering on the pretty seasoned women that pass him by… you didn’t, mind your fucking business, mate.

He also likes authority and the structure the military gives him. Occasionally, he pushes back on bad calls, but he’ll follow his Captain into the fire in a heartbeat. He’s loyal like that without fail.

So it comes to a surprise to Kyle how badly he fucked up. He didn’t mean for his feelings for Captain John Price’s drop dead gorgeous spouse to turn into anything more than a crush. You’re at least ten years older than him and he would never betray his Captain, he swears it on his life.

He didn’t mean for his hug to last longer than the acceptable amount of time when you pull him in tight. He didn’t mean to inhale the heady scent of your perfume that lingers at the base of your delicate neck. Fuck, he didn’t mean to shudder at the feel of soft, glowing skin as you move to stand beside John. 

You make a picture of strength and fortitude. Kyle feels like he’s out matched.

Kyle and his body are two separate entities when he stands abruptly at dinner. His face is hot with warmth and his hands clench to hide his cock from view. He’s making up some passive excuse about the wine not settling well as he races to the Price’s washroom.

It’s there in the small space that smells like lemon scented potpourri, that he’s barraged with images of the brief glimpse he got of your breasts over the dinner table.  You’d leaned over the serving platters to hear the punchline to Ghost's stupid joke. It was an innocent move on your part but you dipping your finger to gather the white gravy that stained your shirt when you notice it sends the hounds of hell baying at the gates of what was his iron mental control. He’d already ran from the table when you shove your soiled fingers into your mouth.

It still plays over and over and over and over… until he’s coming up with scenarios that never happened with such startling clarity that it frightens him. His mind supplies memories of what your skin felt like to fill in the gaps left from having never touched you in a way less than platonic. 

He’s panting himself into an anxiety attack when thick ropes of cum paint his fist and the decorative hand towels on the sink.

Kyle Garrick has lost control. It shames him to his core. 

He's prided himself on being better, sweeter, much more capable than the dogs playing men in his line of work. You make him feel like something half man. He hates the part of him that wishes to be at your feet.

His own disbelieving eyes in the mirror. He hides the cum stained towels under the bathroom sink with trembling hands (right behind the spare pack of toilet paper seems like a good spot). He’ll come back for them before he leaves, he swears to himself.

He just needs to focus and compartmentalize so he can at least pretend to be the Sgt. Kyle Garrick who has with the ability to withstand enemy torture. The soldier with the mental fortitude that ensured his place in the SAS serving her Majesty. 

That earned him the respect of his Captain who he would die for.

fuck.

When he makes an excuse to leave early he doesn’t mean to make eye contact with you, the demon wearing his Captain’s heirloom ring around your finger.  He’ll be fucking his fist until his cock is raw when he’s alone tonight and he doesn’t want you to see that in his eyes.

But he looks up when your husband calls out his name in concern.

It’s how he sees the small, nearly imperceptible smirk on your painted mouth and the knowing look you casts him under lowered lashes.

Kyle doesn’t go back for the towels.

Nor does he hear the concerned questions from his mates. He honestly can’t hear shit past the dull thrum of his racing heart pounding in his ears.

He doesn’t quite remember slipping a bit on the front steps in his hurry to leave or snagging his pullover on a branch as he ambles unsteadily down the street. He doesn’t know where he’s going, his home is in the other direction, but he doesn’t truly care.

If he’d been in his right mind maybe he would have seen his Captain’s dark gaze search the charged air between you two.

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick is completely, irrevocably and devastatingly fucked.

[britcision]

Someone confiscate the Kabumisu Rapunzel AU from me, I am not starting a long form anything until my DPxDC novel is done but also I am ONLY capable of doing it wrong

Because:

Kabru MUST be Rapunzel. Mandatory. Milsiril is not letting that little bitch out of her tower. (Also his Main Character Energy)

Mithrun has less than zero drive to do anything ever up to and including wandering around in lonely tower infested woods to find said lost princess

These can only be resolved by Mithrun also already being inside the tower and then we’re into Beauty and The Beast territory too with the Forbidden Room but instead of Cursed Flower there is Cursed Hottie

Tbh Labrumisu would solve this problem where’s my threesome shippers we need ONE (1) character with some goddamn initiative

(Sadly still can’t be me I do not ship Laios in general he’s just not got that Ship Juice)

Milsiril just has such perfect villain vibes and okay I’m selling myself on the Labrumisu because if Laios comes in to kidnap one of her babies (and her broken former coworker) there’s a 50-50 on whether Milsiril just decides he’s young enough to adopt

This is now a main character hoarding situation Falin and Marcille have to come rescue Laios and also his boyfriends from the crazy sword elf and her army of dolls

Which is why I can’t write this one.

Look at that.

Look what happened in like 5 bullet points.

The rails have been OBLITERATED but also it’s just got such good legs someone take this idea and run with it to somewhere very different and much simpler than I am capable of

[unnonexistence]

i should put up a DO IT FOR HER poster to motivate me to fill out job applications except it's just pictures of beautiful antique sewing machines

[semidecentpoet]

I think “Art Is for Amateurs” by Jam Mechanics, featuring Bug Hunter and the Narcissist Cookbook, might be replacing “Ghost Stories” by the Narcissist Cookbook as my favorite song and I Don’t Know How To Feel Ab That

[local-magpie]

"you cant vote fascism away" We Are Not At That Point Yet And I Personally Would Appreciate If We Kept It That Way By Not Voting It In Thanks

[socialistexan]

So I got this picture for my now-girlfriend for Christmas years before started dating, because when we first became friends we bonded over Monster Factory.

It was a big hit.

But, now that we are dating and living together for almost a year, I get to have Final Pam watch over me every time I have to use the restroom.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

he is even pretty here btw

[jacqcrisis]

What am I thinking about? Caleb and Zeke at a public function, like a summer cookout or something, and Caleb, in one of those loose, sleeveless muscle tank tops that for some reason do not cover the areolas, is eating a juicy peach sloppy as hell while Zeke is doing the horny grip meme, having to endure that. Big Moe comes over and whacks Zeke with a mostly used roll of paper towels, tells him he was drooling and making a high pitched sound literally every werewolf in the park could hear. Zeke doesnt even argue it, just tells him fair enough, quietly plotting how he's going to get Caleb out of sight to get a taste of that fruit.

[are-we-really-doing-this]

Need Punk to do a lewd magazine hotel room photo shoot.

[coinsoup]

my dad fucked up laundry for the first time in my life and he goes “shit, you’re mother is gonna kill me.”

like bro you survived twenty five years of marriage and have never messed up laundry before i don’t think she’ll be that pissed that you accidentally made two of her towels pink

[honeylemony]

Hey can I not want to fucking d*e. For TWO MINUTES.

[softquietsteadylove]

I don’t know wich AU it would fit so I just make a prompt and you decide :)

Thenamesh decides to go to the beach for a day. They both get quite the attention but Thena is the one who is a bit possessive and tiny bit jealous (she would never admit) when 4 woman decide to flirt with him and get too close to him :D would be funny

All she wanted was to take a brief little trip to the Paldea region to find a Ceruledge (or a Charcadet, rather). It was a pokemon with swords for hands--it was like it was destined to be on her team!

But the trip to Paldea was coming at a heavy cost, Thena was discovering.

"Wow, so you're a pokemon ranger?"

"We don't have those here!"

"So, what is it that you do?"

Thena tugged at the wide brim of her sunhat, which was currently shielding both her and Teddiursa from the unforgiving - oddly strong for the winter - sun. She was sitting on her beach towel, laid out next to Gil's.

Gil had excitedly gone exploring on the beach, observing all the different pokemon they had yet to encounter back home. Between the species dimorphism and the ecological differences and the generally pleasant weather, he was in bliss.

"You're so strong, Mister Ranger," a swimmer giggled in a faintly accented voice, her shoulders bouncing as she did. It really served to emphasize the expensive looking pink bikini she had on. "Is it a very demanding job?"

"I guess the hours are kinda long," Gil shrugged (not picking up on the woman's blatant flirting). He was in the middle of making some notes for his own observation and research. The four women flocked around him were simply present.

Thena knew this--she knew that in Gil's mind they were just strangers sharing the beach space with them. But from her vantage, it was definitely four female trainers, all very obviously hitting on Gilgamesh.

Her Gilgamesh.

"Teddiursa?" the little cub turned in Thena's arms and looked up at her curiously. He had squirmed all through Thena applying sunblock to the inside of his ears and paw pads, but then she had gone mysteriously quiet instead of playing with him.

Thena continued to watch the interaction like a Braviary, "we'll play in just a minute, sweetheart."

Teddiursa pouted at the denial to his request.

"There are swimming competitions, Mister Ranger," another of the women, this one with long, dark hair and a black one-piece on tilted her head at him. "For people and pokemon--surely you could win."

Gil just blinked at them, "oh, I don't have any pokemon with me like that. Rangers don't actually keep pokemon. We have kind of an open door policy with them, I guess."

"Ah!" the shortest of the women gasped with a hand held up to her bright red lips, "no pokemon! Mister Ranger, what if you find yourself in trouble?"

"I'm sure he'd be fine," the fourth and tallest one cooed, even leaning against Gil's arm - visibly against his will - as she said it, "look at these muscles."

"Teddi," Thena muttered, somewhat spooking the cub in her arms. "Why don't you go over there and tell Papa that it's playtime."

Teddiursa obeyed, happy to have the time to play, no matter how oddly his Mama had asked him to do so. He ran on all fours, letting his puff ball tail wiggle around as he trotted over the slippery sands.

"Ursa!"

"Papa?" all four women turned and startled back a few paces at the strange pokemon. Obviously he was young, but he was still a pokemon they had never seen before.

"Hey, buddy!" Gil greeted the cub with a beaming smile, picking him up and holding him on his shoulder. "You ready for some fun?"

"Teddi!" the bear laughed, happily holding onto Gil's head as he stood. "Ted?"

"Yeah, I'm all done my research, we can go and play," Gil patted the little pokemon's head.

"I thought you said you didn't have any pokemon with you."

"Well," Gil shrugged the shoulder without precious cargo on it, "he's not just mine, is the thing."

"Well, who-"

"There you are!"

All four women backed up another few paces as Thena walked over, having left her hat and unbraided her hair. It picked up in the ocean breeze, rustling around her shoulders. "I see."

"Were you good about getting your sunscreen put on?" Gil asked Teddi, who nodded so hard his ears flapped a little.

"He was a little squirmy," Thena corrected, tapping their little bear on the nose, "but yes, he was very good."

"Hasta luego, Mister Ranger," the swimming trainers waved to him as they dragged themselves away from the family unit. "Your Maushold is very lovely."

"Maushold," Gil mumbled, trying to recall what pokemon that was. He would have to look it up in the Paldean pokemon guidebook later.

"Did you discover all the scientific things you were hoping for?" Thena asked with clear humour in her voice.

"As a matter of fact, I did," Gil grinned, waving around his little notebook before zipping it and his pen into the waterproof compartment of his rented swim trunks. "I can't wait to tell Dragonite all about it."

Dragonite had flown them, but declined the beach day in favour of touring the food offerings of Porto Marinada. He had found that being a free walking pokemon didn't deter businesses from serving him so long as he had cash. He had already consumed an ice cream stand out of its entire stock for the weekend.

Thena tilted her head at the green trunks, which Gil had chosen specifically for the waterproof pocket. "Are you going to take more notes if you go swimming and find some cave?"

"Hey, what's this 'you' business?" he grinned, braiding her hair back again for her, "you're coming with us."

"No, I--Gil?"

"Ey, Hot Stuff!" two passing men whistled and shouted to them, waving at Thena. "Care to join us? We could be great Flamigos, no?"

"She's not interested!" Gil barked at them, pulling Thena flush against him with her chest pressed into his, hiding as much of her - and her rented white bikini - as possible.

"Teddi!" Teddiursa added, mostly to mimic Gil and not necessarily in any understanding of what was going on.

Thena blinked, her hands pressed to Gil's chest as he held her, even wrapping his other arm around her waist while his hand grasped her bare shoulder. She had never seen him like this.

Maybe the beach wasn't such a bad idea.

[starlightkun]

OH MY GOD LOSERBOY MARK?! I LOVE WHEN MEN ARE LITTLE LOSERS. man im excited now. speaking of cute little loserboys, would you ever consider writing dejun again as a comically unlucky but fiercely loyal bff side character? hes my bias and he radiates ayakashi taeyong vibes. again just a suggestion because i love my boy and seeing him get chased by the piano ghost 3 times when all the other boys weren't cause the piano ghost was tired of him was hilarious

- ✨anon

i prefer my men to be losers like i may not have a physical type but i will admit to having a type for absolute manlosers 😭 like yeah you might know string theory or whatever but you also keep grabbing a visibly steaming hand towel and then are surprised when it's hot and burns you come here so i can kiss your stupid loserboy face

and like ur right dejun gives off ayakashi taeyong vibes and i'll raise you golden fruit sicheng vibes as well. where he's comically unlucky but hes pretty so other people just help him bc they feel bad for this pretty loser of a man

bouncing off my last ask, look how itty bitty 🥺🥺🥺 https://twitter.com/GGoddddkv123/status/1687829443484733440?t=5AWHh4qdUza99YCXuoJwlQ&s=19 - ✨anon

he is the ITTIEST BITTIEST like how do you make YANGYANG look HUGE compared to you 😭😭😭