#BUT ART IS FOR AMATEURS IS SUCH A BANGER

[semidecentpoet]

I think “Art Is for Amateurs” by Jam Mechanics, featuring Bug Hunter and the Narcissist Cookbook, might be replacing “Ghost Stories” by the Narcissist Cookbook as my favorite song and I Don’t Know How To Feel Ab That

[shapelytimber]

Don't you know me ?

Just watched 'the spy with my face', and imagine what could have been (btw I'm sick and didn't feel like doing colors this time- maybe next time)

[COMMISSIONS]

Like in the film, the only way to tell who's the real one is to kiss (or fuck) him ;)) Thrush didn't think of choosing a slut as his double.... Amateur mistake

Process (and rambling about the episode we saw) below vvv

I was so mad we didn't get the 'who do I shoot' type scene- it was the perfect setup !! Season 4 uncle would have done it smh

But even tho the ending was... Just ok ig. It did end up with a perfect relationship square (because there is no way the two stewardess are not already fucking each other)

Anyway, beautiful poly ending ! I hope they had sick nasty fun under the whatchful gaze of the clown

PS : thank you to the person who recommended we whatch 'pop art' !! It was a banger episode ! Even tho Illya spending the entirety of the episode in flip flops led to @quijicroix telling me that he would "absolutely wear birkenstocks like an old lesbian in his free time"... And I hate that I can't say they're wrong- And now I have to face the fact one of the few men on my "exceptions" list would rock the birkendstock suit combo. Help.

[scaredgirlsilly]

ok I know you asked for asks on the other blog but. if you could make everyone in the world listen to one song what would it be

oh jesus thats. a really good question HDKSHDJSJ

so at first my mind jumped to just songs i liked. yk maybe basketball shoes by black country, new road yk that song is prob one of the best songs like. ever jflsjdksj or maybe a jeffrey lewis song?? idk im Fucking Obsessed with ine of his albums its a comfort album for me

but then i thought and my choice is Do You Know What Im Saying by applied communications (really id recommend the album but you just said song and thats my fav song on the album hfksjdjs)

so ok. this song (and the whole album but again just the one song for this) is not like. good on a technical level. the guy made the album when he was 16 after his mom died. but to me it is like. the epitome of amateur art.

the instrumental is poorly constructed with random drums and a droning base that just feels *slightly* off, the lyrics are weird and pretentious and sung (not even sung more like said) in a very odd way, randomly layering over each other in a weird cacophony of teenage angst. but that all i think adds to it. listening to it, at least for me, i can *feel* the emotions behind this song so palpably, and thats really all art is for right?? making you feel something. the artist has some feeling they want to share, and so they make art so that you the audience feel that same or similar emotion. everything else is extra.

i know i and many others get caught up sometimes in worrying about doing art "well" but i think this song and the album in general is like. my go to example of amazing art that is, on a technical level, not the best. and im not even saying bad cause like straight up its a banger i fuckin love it hfkshdksj but its v obviously not made for everyone. its not what some would think is well made music. but i think if i wanted to show everyone a single song, it would be this so i could just show them that art can be shittily made and still be amazing, and a world with mountains of shitty art is infinitely better than a world with only art from people who are """good""".

any time a friend has shown me art they have made, whether its drawings or paintings or music or writing or literally anything, it has been almost a transcendent experience. this person i love has taken the time to pour their heart and soul into something that is so unique that i couldnt find anything like this anywhere else. you can find songs like black country new road or jeffrey lewis around, but you cant find songs like you would make when you have no or little skill. and obv getting better at any given artform is always great we love that obv but like. idk shitty art is amazing too and i just want everyone to not be scared to make shitty art cause sometimes shitty art is the best and most heartfelt art there is

[mousey-toy]

i feel like im watching banger after banger lately. exception being stoker which was “pretty good” and i watcged mostly as a double feature w oldboy since my friend hadnt seen it. but like. we watched wild zero and i showed merry xmas mr lawrence to another friend lately and fucking cutie honey slayed so hard i feel like it nailed the sound stagey camp quality that i liked in barbie with like so much less budget and like. just cheesy fun amateurish post production it really straddled the line between polished beautiful work of eternal art and moored in the early aughts amateur passion project

[erisenyo]

hi for the love of god hello i read your nasa zukka fic last night before i went to sleep and when i read the poetry i was like damn this is sick i have to remember to look this up in the morning and i did (obviously bc it was burned into the folds of my brain and i could never forget it in a million years) and YOU WROTE IT??? IT WAS ORIGINAL???? and then i reread it so i could feel emotions at 6 am on a monday and ITS IN HAIKU??? THE VERSES HIT THE SYLLABLE COUNT??? anyway i’m in love with you and the banter was perfect and the poetry was heartbreaking and amazing and i cried! and you’re amazing so yea. idk how every fic of yours hits it on the nose every time but by all means keep going pls. and if you want to talk about your process for writing the poetry especially i am listening with open ears hearts and holes <33333333

Oh my god hello you have no idea how many times I've read this ask, I am just BEYOND thrilled that you loved the poetry so much (and noticed it was haikuuuu I'm screaming)!! Like truly so deeply ecstatic, I adore the idea of poet-Sokka but I don't think poetry is necessarily my strong suit, so this has made my whole week I can't even tell you

I'm doing a little dance that this fic and the poetry could give you emotions at 6am on a Monday (truly the worst of times) and that you enjoyed the banter so much. And that you cried because of my haikus, I'M going to cry now!!

Thank you so so much, this is so sweet and lovely and I'm so over the moon from this and the fact that you think all my fics are such bangers and I'm also cracking up that you are listening with open ears and hearts and holes, how could I hold back my process knowing that.

Though process-wise it might be a bit thin, it's very vibes based. I've also done some poetry for Sokka in Of Tea and Turtle Ducks (and the Turtle Duck Guy) and To Open Every Door To Night, To Meet Each Rising Sun, and it's always haikus (math+art=Sokka's sweet spot) and always coming from this place of deep emotion or really feeling the moment he's in.

I tend to focus on one or two core phrases or pieces of imagery for the poem. So for Sokka at NASA being overwhelmed by seeing a rocket launch, I wanted a sense of the launch itself (fire, explosive force, fragile bodies, deadly flame) and the reverence (wonder, care) that Sokka brings to space as this vast frontier. It's something scientific but also something worthy of near-spiritual awe (dreaming, hoping to see), and something that is tangled with a lot of longing for him (carrying hope, far-flung dreams).

Once I have those core phrases or images, it's a lot of counting and shuffling around the order of things and trying out different combinations until the syllables finally work (and me telling myself that Sokka is an amateur poet so it's okay for me to be one too haha). I usually put in placeholders for the poems when I write, because actually figuring out a haiku and getting it where I want it within the scene can take 30ish minutes (depending on how anchored I get to specific imagery being in it) so I like to give it it's own headspace.

I liked all the imagery I was coming up with in the NASA fic, which is why we ended up with three haikus haha

With fire and dreaming, we send these fragile bodies into endless night.

They carry our hope to see beyond the edge of our own gravity.

We shape deadly flame, with wonder and care, to reach for our far-flung dreams

[vampirebutterflies]

15 Questions!

tagged by the shrimply fantastic @not-nervous-jester (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*)

1. Were you named after anyone?

…my first name is partially after a dog. yeah.

A show dog that my paternal grandparents bred and showed, so not just some random pet, but still. A dog. At least my full first name slaps so it’s not that bad.

I share a middle name with my paternal grandma not the biggest fan but I digress and I’ll be changing that to one of my chosen names (Asteroid) to keep the initial but also make it Mine yk? Orig just is Not the vibe for me. And also I keep forgetting if it’s spelled with or without an e (it’s without lmao)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Two days ago! I absolutely fucking hate crying and it’s taken me until the last few months to really. Be able to more freely. ‘Cause I’d repressed it all so heavily that I just straight up couldn’t 😌 My beloved beef is very patient and very kind in helping me though

3. Do you have kids?

Nope and absolutely never thanku very much

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Me? Sarcastic? Never! Can’t believe you’d ever think that

(……/s)

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Honestly? Visual appearance, I’m very quick to pick up on anything interesting like tattoos or piercings or what they’re wearing or their hair or eyes / mouth / makeup or jewellery etc etc. Not in a judgemental way at all, I just really like looking at people ??? that sounds weird. it is a lil weird. that’s fine it’s not mean or gross weird. I’m very much a complimenter too so if there’s something I like about you or what you’re wearing or if you’re just. really really pretty etc I’ll just. Say it

Online is probably things like your own lil spelling and grammar things (like u or you or if you capitalise stuff) and if you come across as kind / kinda dickish. Also your ✨aesthetic✨ if there’s one available to be perceived

6. What’s your eye colour?

Dark green?? Green-hazel?? Not to be that annoying person but truly struggled answering this for my photo ID card— asking four people got four different responses from dark blue to brown and they’re absolutely Neither of those so like. Shrug. Whatever you wanna call this one

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I’m an absolute lily livered pussy assed lil baby WIMP so scary things can be very very good and very fun HOWEVER I’ll be making distressed noises and hiding behind a pillow and jumping and flap stimming when it gets even a lil too much

8. Any special talents?

god I wish uhhhhh floristry maybe? Not to toot my own doot but some of the pieces I turned out were fucking BANGERS

9. Where were you born?

I fell to this planet during a meteor shower, I was barely formed with no one but the worms and beetles for company until my parents unearthed me from the dirt after the fae requested their assistance in finding me

jk I was evicted in a hospital about half an hour away from here

10. What are your hobbies?

uhhhhhh running my damn mouth, thrifting and upcycling, amateur photography, silly lil outfits and makeup looks(? Does that count?) I’m trying to get back into art as well??

11. Do you have any pets?

Yes!! Technically Diva’s the only one who’s Mine tm everyone else is family owned but two cats (Brave— 3yo rescue fluff, and Diva— 11yo Burmese), two dogs (Tripp and Chia) and a yellow budgerigar called Chicken or Special Budgie

12. What sports do you play / have you played?

*horrified noises*

I played volleyball and netball in school though that wasn’t the worst

13. How tall are you?

5’2. on a good day. 🥺

14. Favourite subject in school?

English, science and art (specifically visual art and wearable art in highschool)

15. Dream job?

Is “pretty twunky femboy faggot living the dream with lots of people adoring me and giving me lots and lots of money just for looking pretty and being fun” an option? If so how do I get there and where do I sign up

That aside. I’d absolutely fucking love to work at the museum doing science communication and conservation work!!!! Particularly I’d love to specialise in the space / minerals / animals / plants / natural sciences sections. Absolute dream absolute goal

also because I’m not necessarily like smart enough to actually Work In Those Research Fields and that’s fine!! I’m glad about that because it means far less Huge Gigantic Super Smart Studying but there’ll always be a need for conserving and protecting materials and communicating all the super smart shit into Normal People Understanding yk??

Tagging: @chupacactus @nofeelingisfinall @turtles-on-turts @eye-scream-girls @blackbeardskneebrace @cononeills @ipomoea-batatas @enbiosaur no obligation as always 💕💕

[freshthoughts2020]

The Most Clutch Feature in Existence!!

The Most Clutch Feature in Existence!! November 15, 2024

Every now and then, we stumble upon a tool so game-changing that it feels like it was made just for us. For me, that tool is the Stem Splitter in Logic Pro. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I need you to lock in right now because this feature is straight-up revolutionary for anyone serious about music.

Let me tell you how this came in clutch for a new track I’m cooking up. The inspiration came from one of the dopest pieces I’ve ever designed—a Detroit Tigers hoodie featuring Kerry Carpenter and a hand-drawn illustration of Comerica Park on the back. (Shameless plug: that hoodie is on sale for $103 on my site right now, so grab yours while it’s hot!)

Anyway, as I was working on this new song, I had an idea to sample a track from back when I was still finding my sound. Y’all remember my early classics, right? The vibes were unmatched, but let’s keep it real—the quality didn’t always hit like it needed to. The beats were fire, but the engineering? Eh, not so much.

That’s where the Stem Splitter came through like the superhero I didn’t know I needed. I loaded up one of my old songs, and with just a few clicks, it pulled the instrumental and vocals apart so clean it felt like magic. Now, I can take what was great about those early tracks, remix it, and give it the crisp quality it always deserved.

Think about the possibilities here: you could sample your old work, flip beats in new ways, or even breathe new life into your favorite tracks from other artists. This feature is a must-have for creatives like us, especially if you’ve got a catalog full of gems that just need a little polish to shine.

Let me say this loud and clear: Logic Pro is worth every penny of that $200. And if you’re not ready to invest just yet, grab the free trial version immediately. No excuses. You owe it to your craft.

In this digital age, tools like the Stem Splitter make it easier than ever to create with precision and unlock new potential in your music. Logic Pro isn’t just a DAW; it’s an all-in-one powerhouse, and this feature is proof. If you’re serious about your art, there’s no reason not to have it in your arsenal.

And while you’re at it, don’t forget to check out that Kerry Carpenter hoodie. You know I had to flex my artistic skills on this one—Comerica Park on the back, Carpenter doing his thing, and all for $103. It’s more than a hoodie; it’s a piece of Detroit.

So, whether you’re remixing your classics or making brand-new bangers, remember: tools like the Stem Splitter are what separate the pros from the amateurs. Get on it.

Shop the Hoodie: Get yours here for $103.00

Try Logic Pro: Download the trial version now

Visit gettothecorner.com

Follow me on twitter.com/onlyonejaevonn

[bughuntermusic]

Hey Goobers. I got a new song for you today. @narcissistcookbook and I have joined forces and summoned a banger called "Art is for Amateurs" and its on Spotify and stuff. Go listen to it, then listen to the podcast Jam Mechanics -- AIFA been our theme song for the past 5 months, and now the full version has been unleashed.

uuuuh me and @bughuntermusic released a joint single??? it's called Art Is For Amateurs and it's available everywhere right now???? and you're going to love it?????? 💜

if you haven't been listening to our songwriting challenge podcast @jammechanics then this will be out of nowhere, and the first season just wrapped so now is the perfect time to catch up!

[hopecel]

AI art could be a great reference tool for artists I think

[amoebo-id]

a o t d !!!

no more than 1 release per artist to keep it interesting. selection and ranking is arbitrary and would prob be wildly different if i did this tomorrow. also i only went down to #42 cause everything after that didn’t feel like real aotd status - at least as far as the specific relationships i built over the past 10 yrs with the music i was listening to

#1 laurel halo quarantine

nobody did machine-body dialectic like laurel halo in 2012. i loved everything else from her this decade too but every time i listened to Carcass it made me leave my body physically. absolutely unreal album art too

https://laurelhalo.bandcamp.com/track/carcass-2

#2 e+e the light that you gave me to see you

2012 was a good year. pop/ambient/noise/radio-dj-tag sound collage ascended to spiritual intensity. makes you feel like a child experiencing awe. also fire-gut used to have probably my favorite music video ever but i think it’s gone now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p-SSuwW9cw

#3 ilovemakonnen 5

not to be confused with Drink More Water 5, this one’s from 2010 during his mostly-forgotten diy outsider-pop phase. off-key singing and amateur beats and the sheer absolute joy of making cool songs. all 5 are perfect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORKpg_-z0Mk

#4 macintosh plus floral shoppe

would’ve made top 10 on album art alone. music, aesthetics, and cultural impact are inseparable here but going back to the album reminded me just how engaging its 2010s-updated chopped-and-screwed sound is, musically not just conceptually

https://vektroid.bandcamp.com/track/420

#5 jason lescalleet this is what i do 17

hard to pick a favorite from jason lescalleet’s semi-monthly document of his electroacoustic / field recording / tape loop practice but i’ve cried to multiple tracks on tiwid 17 so it gets the nod. couldn’t find any of them online so here’s something else of his

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t33x8OOm68E

#6 barrio sur बड़ा शोक (heart break)

dedekind cut guy’s weird one-off side project ended up being my favorite thing to come out of the last few years’ obsession w cowboy/western/country music/aesthetics. pure mystery

https://soundcloud.com/user-366783613/redemption-7inch

#7 cities aviv come to life

i think maybe people thought cities aviv was just another no-flow pseudo-”conscious rap” type rapper in 2014 but actually this album is nuts. hyper-energetic vaporwave rap? what if death grips were happy? idk

https://citiesaviv.bandcamp.com/track/url-irl-2

#8 beach boys the smile sessions

this cool fresh 1960s rock myth arrived fully formed and way more fun than the other ones. brian wilson’s concepts and songwriting got so unwieldy we had to wait 50 years to hear the sessions. i don’t care about conversations about his genius or whatever these songs kick ass

https://oldmasterpainter.bandcamp.com/track/surfs-up

#9 mindspring memories & intl. debris international memories

did this really only come out in 2017? i feel like i’ve been listening to it since i was born. tangential lateral kind of wormhole out of vaporwave into two meditative spiritual infinite-feeling loops that perfectly complement each other

https://noproblematapes.bandcamp.com/track/sad-horizons

#10 nyege nyege tapes sounds of sisso

absolutely obnoxiously insanely high energy high pitch high bpm dance music. i can’t believe this isn’t what people mean when they say future bass. set me down the path of historical and contemporary non-”global north” ideas about dance/rhythm/bass which i’m still on

https://nyegenyegetapes.bandcamp.com/track/mshamba-video-mster

#11 blithe field face always toward the sun

the most gorgeous implementation of the sorta-ambient guitar-looping vignette aesthetic. is this a real trope or did i listen to this album so much i convinced myself it was a thing? for me this is the sound of what its like to feel completely content with life and at ease in the moment

https://blithefield.bandcamp.com/track/zen-den

#12 anohni hopelessness

listening to this album and singing along while driving my car made me feel absolutely disgusting. unbelievable hooks, grossly hi fi sound design, and overblown drama add up to imo a scary effective type of explicitly political or ‘protest’ music

https://anohni.bandcamp.com/track/drone-bomb-me

#13 21 savage, offset, & metro boomin without warning

why is these 3 pop stars’ vaguely halloween-themed one-off collab my favorite trap album? 21 savage, offset, and metro boomin were all wildly corny in different ways but everything was perfectly balanced. i hope metro boomin makes like one seriously ambient album next decade

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWv-bR_X-VM&list=PLC1uUM4twa8i6zsD_Sn1LRUq4vhl_PLCx&index=11&t=0s

#14 laura les big summer jams 2018

‘crying in the club’ type bangers with no fear of ugliness and no fear of beauty and no fear of wildly unfashionable tropes like skrillex-y dubstep and guitar solos. so much input from other trans/queer artists it felt like a big t4t party

https://osno1.bandcamp.com/track/the-river-feat-scum-yung-skrrt-and-99jakes

#15 triad god nxb

the other triad god tape from 7 years later is just as good. what was this man doing in the intervening time? i just imagine him riding london public transit while it rains or something. i love knowing that most of his cantonese spoken-word/rap parts are insults and jokes rather than like, melancholy observations

https://soundcloud.com/hipposintanks/triad-god-remand

#16 dj koze knock knock

what if pop music sounded like this? somehow every song on here is wildly danceable, wildly sing-alongable, and also wildly detail-oriented. feels like a transmission from an alternate present where things are okay

https://djkoze.bandcamp.com/track/club-der-ewigkeiten

#17  ocora world of traditional music

box set of “world music” recordings from the label that french electronic composer pierre schaeffer started in the 1950s as a project to teach people in rural west africa how to dj. ethnography can be a fucked up idea but afaik ocora is one of the good ones and if you can sorta try to disengage from the tropes/cliches that get imposed on it, the music is phenomenal. hard to find a track specific to this box set but here’s another from the label

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJm8rn6gW5I

#18 oneohtrix point never replica

opn feels like an artist i’ve ‘grown out of’ i guess but samples never felt more alive or more dead than they did on replica. set a template for the kind of melancholy ‘soundscape’-y vibe that i spent years trying to find more of after

https://oneohtrixpointnever1.bandcamp.com/track/power-of-persuasion

#19 rihanna anti

the most perfect imaginable pop album. i keep trying to move it higher up. i almost put club chai vol 1 on this list purely cause of the Woo remix but then i remembered the original is better

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dDCUKElEwk

#20 colleen a flame my love a frequency

colleen’s ultra deadpan singing and wriggly rhythmic synth put me in a trance. everything sounded dry as hell even though it was covered in reverb. i think maybe some people were put off by the corny song names and lyrics

https://colleencolleen.bandcamp.com/track/separating

#21 dj paypal drake edits

back when drake seemed like a sorta-shitty dude rather than seriously creepy, dj paypal used the power of footwork to expose both the melancholy-ambient modality and the serious-bass-music modality latent in his voice and beats

https://mallmusicinc.com/track/brand-new

#22 huerco s. for those of you who have never (and also those who have)

not really as ambient as it first seems imo, but rather like a really intense focus on what we mean when we describe things as ‘static’ or ‘dynamic’. i know it’s corny but i wanna say these tracks are fully both and fully neither

https://brianleeds.bandcamp.com/track/promises-of-fertility

#23 girls rituals reddishness

for a track so deliberately shitty-sounding I Know had no right to be so fucking danceable. persona and production synthesized into the only ‘singer-songwriter’ music i could really get into

https://temporaryenjoyment.bandcamp.com/track/i-know

#24 chromatics kill for love

fakeass 80s retro melancholia digitized and pushed so far past pastiche it turned into pure slime. the phone call in There’s A Light Out On The Horizon came straight from the void

https://soundcloud.com/johnnyjewel/chromatics-kill-for-love-album

#25 actress ghettoville

the only genuinely post-apocalyptic music. specifically the postapocalypse in wall-e but if there was no wall-e to clean it up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcCPdfUFq6k

#26 playboi carti die lit

every beat on this album was reducible to a 4-second loop that perpetually demanded its own repetition and playboi carti somehow knew exactly what to do with them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2pjiKmhlAI

#27 charli xcx vroom vroom

the charli xcx that came after this was fun, but there was black hole levels of power compacted into when she said vroom vroom on Vroom Vroom

https://soundcloud.com/vroomvroomrecordings/charli-xcx-vroom-vroom

#28 pacific breeze: japanese city pop, aor & boogie 1976-1986

it’s kind of amazing to think that this compilation only exists because vaporwave aesthetics made ‘japanese grocery-store kitsch from the 80s’ a marketable thing in the us. anyway every single one of these is an absolute bop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl91bvEKj20

#29 young thug barter 6

i can’t get enough of listening to young thug’s voice. i’ve seen his rhythmic-melodic-textural sensibility described as virtuosic and i don’t know really if that term means anything but it feels right to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg9ZxQKSDuw

#30 magic eye babylon

smeared dreamy lo-fi guitar music w wistful buried melodies pushed to an extreme. every song sounded the same and i wish there was more than the one cassette

https://magiceye.bandcamp.com/track/flame

#31 tirzah devotion

you could say this was ‘stripped down’ r&b but i think more accurately what separated it was that every sound stood exactly and only for itself

https://tirzah.bandcamp.com/track/basic-need

#32 mount eerie clear moon

it’s amazing how well mount eerie navigated the move from a lo-fi sound/mode/affect to a hi-fi sound/mode/affect. clear moon wasn’t his first attempt but it was the one that most embodied the feeling of the new possilibities that had been opened up

https://pwelverumandsun.bandcamp.com/track/through-the-trees-pt-2

#33 kelela aquaphoria

this mix was such a good idea it immediately seemed shocking nobody else had tried afaik. and kelela executed it so well you forgot the tracks already existed in other contexts

https://soundcloud.com/kelelam/aquaphoria

#34 james ferraro skid row

not sure what it means that the only james ferraro i really love is also the one i think of as the least abstract/conceptual. his recited lyrics had a rare spoken-word-poetic power

https://breakworldrecords.bandcamp.com/track/to-live-and-die-in-la

#35 salyu x salyu s(o)un(d)beams

absolutely unbounded sense of joy and creativity and possibility hovering between bangers-lite and ‘soundscape’-y electronic manipulation

https://soundcloud.com/snouu/salyu-x-salyu-s-o-un-d-beams

#36 dj rashad just a taste vol 1

double cup got all the press but it was so smoothed-over it could never have done something as absurdly beautiful as Ghost or even Go Crazy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZuHPAbte9U

#37 yves tumor serpent music

i’m sorta put off by the high-gloss sheen of music like this but serpent music somehow had the right combination of total cohesion and a ridiculous density of impactful moments

https://soundcloud.com/pan_hq/yves-tumor-the-feeling-when-you-walk-away-pan-73?in=pan_hq/sets/yves-tumor-serpent-music-pan

#38 maral mahur club

lo-fi beat collage elevated to something that could actually genuinely be called world music

https://astralplanerecordings.bandcamp.com/track/avesta-khani-reggaeton

#39 lucki ecks watch my back

did not expect this super low-stakes sadboy trap to end up on this list but i love his min-effort flow and somehow every beat is exactly the vibe even when the tracks aren’t volume balanced

https://soundcloud.com/boob7/leave-wit-you-prod-plu2o-nash-clams-casino?in=boob7/sets/watch-my-back

#40 arca stretch 2

not sure why i get more out of arca’s nonsense broken-beat non-rap than any of her later projects

https://unonyc.bandcamp.com/track/tapped-in

#41 klein only

a new way to do fucked up noise w pop leanings. ‘audacitycore’

https://klein1997.bandcamp.com/track/pretty-black-2

#42 city arcadia

another mysterious transmission, this time w lots of harp

https://soundcloud.com/halcyon-veil/city-arcadia

[cinderellaahhh]

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🏐🏐🏐🏐Funny Volleyball Team Names

1. Hit For Brains – Definitely not the smartest team out there.

2. Size Matters – Only if you’re short... or small, even.

3. Beavis and Bumphead – After Beavis and Butthead.

4. Ball Busters – The ball won’t be the same shape after playing this team.

5. Phantom Balls – Now you see them, now you don’t.

6. Setsaholics Anonymous – They’re going to sets you up.

7. Block Magic – After the South Park episode Cock Magic.

8. ACME Roofing – There won’t be a roof for long when you play this team.

9. Balls In Your Face – That’s got to be painful.

10. Safe Sets – How sets should be.

11. Practice Safe Sets – Practice every

day.

12. Where’s My Beaches At? – At the

beach?

13. How I Set Your Mother – Do tell.

14. The Dirty Half Dozen – Nice and filthy.

15. Hit Head – Why score points when you

can reduce your rivals’ brain cells?

16. Sand Eaters – They have a habit of

falling over.

17. Donald Bump – Bumping away

ignorantly of the rest of the world.

18. Nine Inch Males – So small?

19. Heads In The Sand – Stay away from

danger!

20. Good Volley Ms. Molly – Why thank

you!

21. Clever Beaches – Get ready to be

outsmarted.

22. Sand In The Vaseline – I’m sure

they’re having a great time at the

beach.

23. The Fighting Amish – Playing the old-

fashioned way.

24. Ball Bangers – Hitting balls a little too

hard.

25. Bros And Hoes – For a mixed team.

26. Public Sets Offenders – They’re not

allowed near certain places.

27. The Blair Hits Project – Getting

beaten by them is like a horror movie.

28. Ball Whisperers – They’ll get that ball

to go anywhere they want.

29. Setsy Time – After Borat’s

catchphrase.

30. Natural Disasters – It’s totally normal

for this team to lose.

31. Kinky Sets – The best kind of sets.

32. Men In Speedos – They make

everyone at the beach feel awkward.

33. Net Servers – For a techie crowd.

34. Touch And Go – Win some, lose some.

35. Caution! Low Roof! – About to leap

into space!

36. Wild Sets – These guys are passionate

about sets.

37. This Won’t Take Long – Beating their

rivals in seconds... or are they the ones

who get beaten?

38. The Joy Of Sets – Gotta love good

sets.

39. Set ‘Em Hussein – After Saddam

Hussein.

40. Spike Me Hard, Baby – It’s the only

way it should be done.

41. Setting Ducks – They have no idea

what they’re doing here.

42. Will Work For Sets – Nothing wrong

with that.

43. We Need Sets – We all do!

44. Hits Don’t Lie – After My Hips Don’t

Lie by Shakira.

45. Kiss My Ace – With pleasure.

46. Thongs And Dongs – Another perfect

name for a mixed team.

47. All Net – A team with no chance of

scoring.

48. The Blazing Sunburns – You’ll spot

this team a mile away.

49. Team Ibuprofen – They may be a little

sickly.

50. A Case Of The Hits – The only illness

that’s guaranteed to help you win.

51. Chicks With Digs – Why can’t chicks

have digs?

52. Trump’s Wall – Non–existent then?

53. Sonova Beach – Say it fast...

54. Sets With A Stranger – Players, 100%.

55. I’ve Seen Better Digging In A

Graveyard – Ouch!

56. Sand Castles – They might get a little

distracted.

57. We Showed Up – To what? To lose?

58. Chewblocka – After Chewbacca from

Star Wars.

59. Itsy Bitsy Spikers – Too cute to be

taken seriously.

60. Drunk, Stupid and Clumsy – And

honest.

61. Spiky Nips – For a girls’ team that’s got

that perfect spike.

62. Full Of Hits – They talk a lot of crap.

63. The Powerpuff Girls – Great for a girl

team made of three.

64. Setsy And We Know It – And so does

everyone else.

65. Unprotected Sets – Not advisable.

66. Big Swinging Ds And Ts – Another

name for a mixed team.

67. Go Sets Yourself – Just not on the

beach.

68. Johan Sebastian Block – Composing

a win!

69. Scared Hitless – Is what the other

team will be!

70. Death Volley – Wordplay on Death

Valley.

71. Hit And Miss – Haven’t quite got the

hang of this game yet have you guys?

72. 2 Legit 2 Hit – Well at least you have a

reason...

73. One Hit Wonders – Will score and it

will be amazing, but only once.

74. We Like Big Balls – Big balls are more

fun.

75. You’ve Been Served – Will be in court

right after this game.

76. We Dig 4-Play – Looking for another

team that also enjoys a bit of 4-play.

77. Vertically Challenged – For a team of

shorties.

78. Salad Tossers – Good at throwing

things around.

79. Sand Slingers – Why play fairly and

lose when you could play dirty and win?

80. Not In The Face! – These team will

definitely get hit hard in the face.

81. Setsy Ladies – All the guys on the

beach are looking at them.

82. Bumping Uglies – Not the most

handsome team in the world.

83. Interracial Sets – For a team made up

of people of different racial

backgrounds.

84. Here For The Exercise – Not the most

athletic team.

85. That’s What She Sets – Wordplay on

the phrase ‘that’s what she said’.

86. Smack Your Balls – Painful.

87. Butt Sets – Kinky.

88. If Pigs Could Fly – A team of fat guys

who can jump amazingly high for their

size.

89. Wild Wings – Wordplay on the song

Wild Thing by The Troggs.

90. Sets On The Beach – A dream come

true.

91. Sloppy Sets – They need a bit of

practice.

92. Just The Tip – They’re gentle.

93. Ain’t That A Beach – It certainly is.

94. Six Packs – Great stomachs or a pack

of six beers?

95. Court Jesters – More interested in

making the audience laugh than

winning.

96. Couch Potatoes – They really get this

much exercise.

97. Sets Pistols – After the band The Sex

Pistols.

98. We’re All HIV Positive – And proud.

99. Blue Balls – You guys all need to get to

a doctor immediately.

100. Red Hot Silly Peppers – Another

bunch of comedians.

Cool Volleyball Team Names

A cool team deserves a cool name, the following are cool volleyball team names you can call your team.

101. The Tidal Waves – Invading the entire beach.

102. SWAT Team – Swatting that ball out of the way.

103. Score More – Than the other team.

104. Mission Unblockable – No ball gets

past them.

105. Cobra Kai – After the martial arts team

in The Karate Kid.

106. Atomic Block – Blasting that ball away!

107. Shaken, Not Stirred – Just like 007.

108. We Always Get Up – When this team

gets knocked down, they’re quick to get

back on their feet.

109. Big Digs And Hot Passes – You know

what to expect.

110. Arm And Hammer – For a tough team.

111. In Your Face – Winning and damn proud.

112. Bump It Up – That ball will never touch the ground.

113. Net Domination – The other team will never even get it past the net.

114. Soaring At The Net – Where they play best.

115. Air Force One – After the US presidents private jet.

116. In Motion – They can’t stop moving.

117. On Your Knees – The other team will

be...

118. That Hurt? – It probably did if it came

from this team.

119. Spin Doctors – They always think

they’re winning, even when they’re not.

120. On Fire – Just unstoppable.

121. Spider Chicks – They can reach

anything.

122. Net Results – Scoring at the net.

123. Killer Serves – The other team will be

flabbergasted.

124. Sabretooth Spikers – Aggressive

spikes, to say the least.

125. Pure Energy – The other team won’t

know where you get it from.

126. Attack Pack – They play like animals.

127. Hanging Loose – The most relaxed

volleyball team you’ll ever meet.

128. Prime Time Players – A team that’s

playing in its prime.

129. Gung-Ho – Ready for just about

anything.

130. Block Or Bleed – The other team will

be too afraid to do anything.

131. Bump, Set, Dismember – After they

beat you, they’ll cut you up.

132. Hit Me – If you dare.

133. Lightning Strike – When they hit that

ball they light up the sky.

134. Planet Volleywood – So good they

should be famous.

135. It’s Gotta Be Da Shoes – Nope, they

just play amazingly.

136. Now Serving – So get ready to lose.

137. Bumping Maniacs – Addicted to

bumping.

138. Elite Volleyball – The absolute best.

139. Set To Kill – The other team.

140. Sonic Boom – You can hear them

hitting that ball from space.

141. I’d Hit That – You really should.

142. Death At The Net – There isn’t a worse

way to die.

143. The Wall – No balls get past them.

144. Volley Girls – Girls who own this game.

145. The Lost Boys – Unruly savages.

146. Extreme Volleyball – Volleyball isn’t

supposed to be a leisurely sport, it

should be hardcore.

147. EZ Pass – Making the other team look

like amateurs.

148. That’s Some Serve – You bet it is!

149. Sand People – After the fictional

characters in Star Wars.

150. Hit-men – Hired to assassinate the

other team.

151. See Ya – Wouldn’t wanna be ya!

152. Block You Like A Hurricane – After

the song “Rock You like a Hurricane” by

The Scorpions.

153. Game On – Yeah, winning is great, but

these guys just love playing.

154. Court Hogs – Loving the game so

much, they won’t let anyone else on the

court.

155. Volley Vipers – They’ve got a bite

that’ll kill.

156. High–Performance Volleyball – Don’t

even think about playing this team

unless you’re in the same league.

157. Air Traffic Control – Spectators can be

forgiven for thinking that ball was a

plane.

158. Speedy Spikers – Fast and very spiky.

159. Flight Fight – Known to hit balls in mid-

air.

160. Team World Class – Should really be

playing in the Olympics.

161. Net Ninjas – Assassinating that ball

whenever it gets to the net.

162. Net Assets – They’re owning the

game.

163. White Lightning – Striking out the

other team.

164. The Challengers – They make the

other team want to play better.

165. Volleyball Above All – It is a way of

life.

166. All Set At The Net – Can’t pass this

defense.

167. It’s A Hard Bump Life – It is.

168. The WildCats – The most vicious team

you’ll play against.

169. Vision Quest – Playing to reach a

higher power.

170. Monster Spikes – Those are some mean spikes

#volleyball

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 26/12/2020 (LadBaby, Boris Johnson, Ed Sheeran)

It’s Boxing Day in the UK as I write this and I’m pretty tired but we still have to review those charts regardless, especially this chart as this is the Christmas chart – at least it’s being paraded around as such – and hence we have a Christmas #1. For the third year in a row, family vlogger, pseudo-comedian and amateur musician, not to be confused with DaBaby, Mark Ian Hoyle – more commonly known as “LadBaby”, has bagged the #1 for the holiday season. Every time I’ve covered the Christmas #1 it has been this guy and, yeah, I’m tired of it. At least this year he felt some stiff competition, and hey, the songs’ proceeds do go to charity. Oh, yeah, and this guy is the third act to have three Christmas #1s in a row, putting this nobody from Nottingham with a barebones Wikipedia page and a couple million YouTube subscribers on the level of the Beatles and Spice Girls. God, the UK Singles Chart never fails to amaze me. Anyway, that’s arguably not even the biggest story here so let’s start REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

As I said before, this is the “Christmas week” so throughout the UK Top 75 there are a lot of holiday songs re-peaking or reaching new peaks, before dropping off entirely the next week. Let’s start as we always do by listing the drop-outs from the chart, of which there are quite a few notable ones. Most of our top 40 debuts from last week are gone, like Taylor Swift’s “champagne problems” and “no body, no crime” featuring HAIM, as well as “Show Out” by Kid Cudi, the late Pop Smoke and Skepta. We can also say goodbye to “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee, finally after 54 weeks and a surprise return earlier this month, in addition to other top 10 hits like “you broke me first” by Tate McRae, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio and “What You Know Bout Love” also by Pop Smoke, as well as some more minor hits like “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur, “Golden” by Harry Styles and “Plugged in Freestyle” by A92 and Fumez the Engineer, but I can see almost all of these rebounding hard next week so I don’t think there’s much to worry about here. For fallers, since Christmas has really consumed everything about this chart this week, we have some big ones that’ll find themselves back in the top 10 or at least top 20 next week like “positions” by Ariana Grande at #19 (the first non-Christmas non-debut song to appear on the chart, by the way), “Sweet Melody” by Little Mix at #20, “Whoopty” by CJ at #22, “34+35” by Ariana Grande at #28, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI at #31, “Prisoner” by Miley Cyrus and Dua Lipa at #35 alongside “Midnight Sky” also by Miley at #36, “willow” by Taylor Swift off the debut to #37, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #38 and “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy. We also have “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish at #43, “Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals at #45, even “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X at #49, “Mood” by 24kGoldn featuring iann dior at #54, “Loading” by Central Cee at #59, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #60, “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber at #64, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #66, “Dynamite” by BTS at #67, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #72, “Levitating” by Dua Lipa with the biggest fall down to #73 and finally “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix at #74. To put the dominance of holiday music on the charts in perspective, if we take the songs that are not either explicitly Christmas-related or a clear Christmas #1 campaign (i.e. LadBaby), the song at #38 would be at #10 and our #1 would be “positions” by Ariana Grande at #19. “Whoopty” by CJ, that entered the top 10 last week and dropped to #22 this week, would be at #3. There are 11 songs in the top 40 that never made an effort to take advantage of the holiday season. When we get into some of our debuts, it’ll be even clearer how big Christmas is in British pop music. Anyway, let’s skim through our gains and returning entries, most of which are Christmas or Christmas-related. For returning entries, we have the comically awful “Lonely this Christmas” by Mud at #71, last year’s scam attempt at a Christmas #1, “River” by Ellie Goulding at #69, “The Christmas Song (A Merry Christmas to You)” by Nat King Cole at #63 (which I’d appreciate more in the top 20 like it is in the US every year – this is a classic), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders at #62 (again, incredible song that deserves a higher holiday peak each year), “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love at #58, “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia at #55, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith at #53 and for whatever reason, “Holy” by Justin Bieber featuring Chance the Rapper at #41. In terms of notable gains – and I stress notable, since a lot of higher-up Christmas songs had small gains but still good performance - we have “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Jackson 5 at #57, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Frank Sinatra at #56, “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby at #52, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” by Brett Eldredge and Meghan Trainor at #51, “Forever Young” by Becky Hill at #50 (both off of the debut), “Baby it’s Cold Outside” AGAIN by Michael Bublé and Idina Menzel at #47, “Love is a Compass” by Griff at #46, “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano at #44, “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry at #42, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” AGAIN by Dean Martin at #39, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #34, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #33, “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue at #32, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #29, “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms at #27, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #26, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #25, “All You’re Dreaming Of” by Liam Gallagher at #24 (thanks to a Christmas #1 campaign that crashed and failed), “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams at #23, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono with the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir at #21, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis at #18, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #17, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #15, and finally, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Justin Bieber illegitimately notching a spot in the top 10 at #8. Finally, we can get onto the new arrivals, although something about this next one tells me that we won’t be in line for anything all that good.

NEW ARRIVALS

#70 – “I’ll be Home” – Meghan Trainor

Produced by Meghan Trainor

...for Christmas. She’ll be home for Christmas. I guess she just can’t finish sentences, even though her cover art has the full title. Anyway, this is a 2014 original Christmas song that went nowhere except Sweden. It’s not anything like the Bing Crosby and wasn’t nearly as successful, mostly because it’s a jingly, inoffensive ballad tacked onto a silly Christmas EP that also features Fifth Harmony and Fiona Apple of all people – who probably should have charted her track instead – as well as the deluxe edition of that debut record Title that nobody liked. At least in this, she’s not going for a faux-retro style, or at least one that I can find the inspiration for, and is just singing over this oddly jaunty piano melody – which sounds pretty albeit bland – as well as some swells of strings and acoustic guitar that do work sonically. The content implies that Meghan Trainor is in contact with Santa Claus personally, and that he gave her the advice to be home with her lover this Christmas and... that’s why this charted, isn’t it? Well, it’s not her fault – it’s not a “stuck with u” moment, but it is dodgy that she decided to put this on her own Christmas record that was released in October of this year, which can’t seem unintentional. I’d be lying to say this isn’t a pretty little tune from Trainor and her voice does fit this instrumental, but a jazzy rendition from someone with a deeper, smoother voice, would work wonders with the content. Oh, and that Christmas record features guest appearances from both Earth, Wind & Fire and Seth MacFarlane, as well as her dad, because, you know, sure, 2020.

#65 – “Gnat” – Eminem

Produced by d.a. got that dope

I can’t tell if I’m underestimating Christmas or overestimating Eminem when I say I expected an album bomb – or whatever that equivalent would be in the UK and our land of silly chart rules – from the deluxe edition of his pretty damn terrible album, Music to be Murdered By. This 3/10 trainwreck consists of two hours I’ll never get back of either great beats wasted by Eminem’s corny, stiff flows and painfully unlikeable delivery or obnoxious, unlistenable beats that are dated enough for Eminem to start going on his Relapse “killing women in funny accents” shtick, which was awful then and even worse now when he tries to replicate it. Marshall, you’re 48, and I know that you’re just “messing around” but if you’re going to treat the album as a cinematic masterpiece within the album and its thematic Alfred Hitchcock interludes, you have to understand that the audience will see it as that way as well, so you having fun and being painfully unfunny in the process over cutting-room-floor trap instrumentals cannot slide. At least Kamikaze had some genuine anger and dare I say some actual balls in how it tackled controversy and dissed everyone he could think of off the top of his head. The last record was angry and bitter, this one’s just tired and lazy, and that’s before we get into some of the ugliest bars, instrumentals and cadences Slim Shady’s ever put on record, which is especially present on “Gnat”, a lightweight trap banger with some acoustic guitars not dissimilar to those that would appear on a Lil Baby mixtape, complete with questionable bass mixing and really bad hooks. On the verses, he sends a death threat to Mike Pence, but on the chorus, his bars are “like COVID” because “you get them right off the bat”. I don’t know about you, but in 2020, I don’t want to hear Eminem harmonising with producer tags, making topical and insensitive pandemic references, or spitting sex bars with coughing ad-libs. Before the beat switch, his flows are some of the sloppiest and drawn-out he’s ever used, and yes, I’ll admit, that second beat is a lot better and Em kills it over that instrumental – but only for a brief moment before we have a third beat, which Eminem is pretty great over, especially with that sax and sweet piano keys overlaid with hard 808s and Eminem’s rapid-pace, quick fire flow... and then he raps the chorus again and I want the song to end as quickly as it started – thankfully, it does end rather abruptly. Just wasted potential all throughout – if that beat switch and flow was a guest verse on damn near anyone else’s record (Em has made tracks with Don Toliver of all people, and he could work), this could be great. For now, Em, you know Kris Kristofferson? I think you should Piss Pissofferson. Forever. Look that up, by the way, that’s a lyric on the record because of course it is.

#61 – “In the Bleak Midwinter” – Jamie Cullum

Produced by ???

I had only briefly heard the name “Jamie Cullum” before this, but he is an English jazz-pop singer and pianist who’s basically useless and uninteresting but, hey, at least he has a radio show on BBC Radio 2. Sure, I mean that might have been the reason that Amazon Music picked him up for an exclusive project for which this is the biggest single. It’s not on Spotify, it’s not even on Genius, and it’s barely on YouTube but since it is, I should tell you that this is his first charting single since 2009 and it’s a remarkably uninteresting rendition of a Christmas carol done a lot better by Jacob Collier – and that one’s on Spotify – so yeah, your sleepy piano arrangement and tone that makes you sound like Robbie Williams half the time and Beck the other, doesn’t interest me. Goodbye.

#30 – “Afterglow” – Ed Sheeran

Produced by PARISI, Fred Again and Ed Sheeran

If we inexplicably remove everything Christmas-related on the chart, Eminem’s “Gnat” would have debuted at #20, and this new track from Ed Sheeran, already stunted from being released on an unconventional day, would have hit #5. Regardless of chart position, Ed Sheeran’s back with his first solo single since Divide. Yes, I’m purposefully ignoring that collaborative project he put out in 2019 because as far as I know, it doesn’t exist. At the end of the year, when things are looking as if he could start touring again, Sheeran predictably releases his lead-off single. This song in particular is a heartfelt ballad from Ed to his wife, who he wishes to be there forever and even if they aren’t together at any moment, whether he’s touring or they separate for whatever reason, he’ll “hold on to the afterglow”. I won’t lie, it’s a really sweet and convincingly sold love song from Ed, even if it’s not anything new, it does feel like a different approach since he’s a newly-wed man now. Although I’m not a fan of this somewhat muddy mixing that somehow messes up just a guy and his acoustic guitar, making what should be a really pretty, ethereal and mellow track sound almost ugly, which doesn’t flatter Ed and his limited delivery at all, especially when he starts getting multi-tracked in the second verse and whooshing sound effects of strings pop up in the mix, and, yeah, it just sounds cheap and gross at this point, which is really a waste of incredible content and a great performance from Ed, who sells everything as well as he can. I understand how this is supposed to be down to Earth, so a perfect mix wouldn’t make sense, but if you’re going to make him harmonise with his own background vocals and even show signs of belting, give him some more grandiosity and go full out instead of restraining him so that it just sounds jarring. With a different mix this could be one of Ed’s best tracks since the melodies are on point, the song feels really heart-warming and sincere, especially coming from Ed to his wife, but we won’t get a remaster anytime soon, I imagine, so for now this is just pretty damn good. I love the cover art as well, painted by Ed himself, and released alongside the single as a bit of a Christmas gift to fans, as well as the start of what I’m pretty sure will be a promo cycle. If this is a good peek into what that album will sound like, it’s safe to say I’m more than excited than ever to hear from Ed Sheeran.

#5 – “Boris Johnson is a Fricking Jerk” – Kool & the Gang

Produced by ???

Okay, so the song’s calling Boris Johnson something stronger than a “fricking jerk”, and the song is decidedly not by soul legends Kool & the Gang, although I’d love for that to happen sometime. This is a family show, of course, so we have to take some liberties. This track originates from a comedian from Basildon, Essex of all places, and whilst we don’t know his name, the songwriting credit on Spotify is given to contemporary British poet Wayne Clements so maybe he’s behind this, who knows? Whether he is or not, I can tell you the history behind this comedian’s music, as he has been making crude short singles about controversial topics in British society and politics for a while, including some about Nick Clegg that charted, although never higher than #63. He retired in 2016 but after writing an autobiography, the guy’s back and he released a compilation of punk rock tracks, all of which are small and profane, with a “band” of puppets that I also can’t name. State-controlled Russian television networks – because, sure, again, it’s 2020 – say that he will start touring in 2021, mostly because he’s finally reached that mainstream audience with this family-friendly tune about Boris Johnson. Here’s how Vick Hope and Katie Thistleton introduced it live on air during the mid-week chart reveal.

Now at #19, we've got a track about Boris Johnson that has so many bad words in it, we can't play it on daytime Radio 1.

Ah, you cowards. Wait... Anyway, I’m pretty happy that the British public can stick it to Boris and the heartless Tories that follow him and currently rule the country, even if it is all a bloody stupid joke from an anonymous punk rocker. We can dig into Boris for his failures on Brexit, mishandling of the pandemic, disgraceful reality-star-esque personal life, that he wasn’t even born in the UK yet is basically a nationalist, his history of Islamophobic commentary, his crap excuses for journalism back in the 2000s or even his clown-nose, blonde bowl-cut “hair style” he adopts whilst addressing us on live television feeding us lies and misleading statements that turn into retcons the next time he has to address the nation, whether it be on Brexit or COVID-19 tiers and regulations, both of which are a confusing mess to both sides of Europe that exist to drift us away from where we should be going as a nation, and further into the realm of political party tribalism that we know absolutely does not work in the States and that we mock the Yanks for. We’re more than the sick man of Europe, we are the America of Europe. I guess you could say Ireland is our Canada, but we don’t even have a Mexico to make us look better, we just have other western, central and northern European countries that may be flawed but are far ahead of whatever the hell this shell of a union is in 2020, less than 80 years after the creation of our National Health Service. People will look to pundits and newsreaders like Piers Morgan, entertainers like Phillip Schofield, war veterans and charity-givers like Captain Tom Moore, and even politicians like Boris Johnson, as the “heroes” of Britain’s 2020 but it’s increasingly clear that absolutely no-one is a hero, and it’s the people’s right to be upset. Hence, nearly exactly a year after Boris Johnson cheated his way into power by smear campaigns and elitism, we have this song debuting at #5. Unfortunately, the song doesn’t go into any of that. It just repeats the title in an anthemic – and considerably agreeable – refrain that is an undeniable punk hook. The riffs and guitar work here isn’t of any interest, but the guy’s delivery is powerful and furious, so I’ll give the song credit: it’s not just correct but it’s really good, especially for a one minute runtime. He also released some satirical MIDI-level synth-pop remix with gross Christmas sleigh bells and hi-hat skitters, because, say it with me, it’s 2020. I wouldn’t recommend the album though, it overstays its welcome by the time you get to “Jesus Died of a Stranglewank”.

#1 – “Don’t Stop Me Eatin’” – LadBaby

Produced by who cares?

I can’t get mad at this lazy “parody” of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” about sausage rolls, or even its Ronan Keating remix, which is LadBaby doing a favour to Ronan Keating, if anything. Sure, my blood boils with the idea that this incompetent Internet personality from the East Midlands – which I think I’m sadly also able to describe myself as – got the #1 over Mariah Carey, or even that Boris Johnson diss track, but it’s going to the Trussell Trust and it’s ultimately an inoffensive, vaguely happy track that even gets the vegans involved. I, for one, prefer “Boris Johnson is a Sausage Roll”, a version of our #5 you can – and should – play on the radio even after Christmas. I don’t have anything more to say about this guy so piss off, LadBaby, you can’t even get the album cover right to the song you’re parodying, thrice in a row.

Conclusion

Best of the Week is definitely going to the Somethings for “Boris Johnson is a Something Something”, with an Honourable Mention to Ed Sheeran’s “Afterglow”. I can’t bring myself to give a charity single Worst of the Week so I’ll spare LadBaby the honour and grant it to Jamie Cullum for his greedy Amazon exclusive trite, with a Dishonourable Mention for “Gnat” by Eminem, for just being wasted potential all across the board. Next week, everything Christmas-related will be gone and we’ll get a bunch of returns and hopefully some new, interesting returning entries. We might even get the impact of Playboi Carti’s long-anticipated album – and I hope so because it’s fantastic – but that’s wishful thinking. Anyways, I hope everyone had a happy holiday season. Here’s our top 10:

Thank you for reading. You can follow me @cactusinthebank for more rambling about pop music and occasionally politics, and I’ll see you next year.

[pantsaretherealheroes]

Current Music Obsessions

RULES: List the top 10 songs you’re listening to nowadays and tag 10 mutuals!

Thanks for tagging me @nimmieamee love these music meme things 😊

1)      Dust My Shoulders Off – Jane Zhang I found this on youtube a while back and was sucked in by its cool art nerd music video (i’m only an amateur art nerd but I love a gallery) but the song grew on me, it’s actually a banger (timbaland produced it though so it was never gonna be garbage)

2)      Fox On The Run – Sweet - I recently re-watched GOTG vol. 2 and it is such a GOOD trailer song for that movie. It’s just got such a bombastic opening and now I listen to it whenever I need to get pumped up for cooking or putting washing out.

3)      Seashore – The Regrettes - This was another youtube find, and the music video is great, but also the song is a great indie music feminist fuck you, and I love it.

4)      Final Song – MO - I did not have any thoughts on the girl from Lean On and then I saw her interviewed on british music tv and I heard this song a lot and it grew on me and then I associated it with something I was writing and now I’m still listening to it a year later.

5)      Sun/Changing Of The Seasons – Two Door Cinema Club – I’m gonna do an obnoxious subtle brag here so sorry but I saw them live overseas kind of by chance and it reignited my love of them. I couldn’t pick a song but these are the two I love a lot.

6)      Kids – OneRepublic – I saw this in a best of video, liked it, forgot about it, remembered it and associated it with a certain ship and now I’m very fond of it. I do this a lot and my phone is full of songs I used to be obsessed with and am too lazy to delete

7)      Hoops – The Rubens – This is the only Australian band on this list I should be ashamed of myself. It’s just a solid, moody rock jam that I rediscovered a few months ago and is a great writing song for creating a specific mood.

8)      Where Are You Now? – Lady Leshurr ft. Wiley – Traveling alone is fun except for when you’re in a tiny hotel room in the country by yourself, that can get a bit echo-y, so I often had the tv on the one channel I knew, the music channel, and it played this song and got me psyched up for the day – so I downloaded it and listened to it a lot where I went, and now , I’m very nostalgically fond of it. Also it’s a solid banger, with another bombastic opening.

9)      I Feel It Coming – The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – When Starboy came out I thought they would never do a better collab. I was wrong. This might be the best version of The Weekend, romantic without being sappy, sexy without being misogynistic, backed by the assured production skills of two French DJ robot men. It’s like peak MJ. It’s been a year and I’m still obsessed with this song.

10)   Take On Me - Aha – I live my life in a constant state of never getting sick of this song, but this year for some reason I’ve been listening to it a lot, and accidentally getting it stuck in my head and annoying my poor friends who are in class with me. I’m sorry everyone, it’s just too strong of a banger.

This was originally a different post but tumblr mobile ate it and I’m petty so I left it a few hours and did it again. It was very fun to do though! Harder than I thought, I listen to a lot of stuff on repeat, and I’m sorry I said banger so much I can’t help it.

Tagging if you’re into it @manycoloureddays @mistressoftroy @napolecnsclc @jellicle-ball @spaceportfloozy @sonhoedesrazao @timberwolfoz

[quantumquinn]

Vinyl and Vibes II

So I was anonymously asked to do another Vinyl and Vibes segment. I lost the original ask because I’m not actually that great at the computer thing and hit publish before I was ready and had to delete the whole thing. It was a hot mess.

Regardless, it is clearly time to inform the masses (that you) on what I’m listening to. Thank you anon, for making this possible. Here we go, in no particular order:

1) Amateurs, Royal Teeth

This is the sort of classic indie pop that I always find myself coming back to. General happy vibe with some reasonably emotional lyrics if you care to look into that. I’m probably gonna see them in concert soon. Also, the guy on the bottom left of the cover looks just like someone I knew in high school. Coincidence? Probably.

Standout Track: Kids Conspire

This song has the perfect fun sound that makes me love this band. Also, have I mentioned I really love having a strong female singer with occasional intertwining male singing?

2) Sea of Noise, St. Paul & the Broken Bones

This album has the odd distinction of having a sound that I love without any one song that I keep playing back in my head. This has a bit of a retro gospel soul vibe to it that makes me keep coming back. Hailing from Birmingham, Alabama, home of both Jono and no one else, this band seems to come much more from the 60s and 70s than most anything else I can think of.

Standout Track: Crumbling Light Posts, pt 1 + the first few seconds of Flow With It (You Got Me Feeling Like)

This is a strange choice but I stand by it. Crumbling Light Posts is one of those quick intro songs that artists put on albums to let you know “this is serious art.” But it encapsulates all the aspects of this band I love. If, after the cosmic opening of Crumbling Light Posts and the immediate jazzy pickup of Flow With it, you don’t want to keep listening, then this album ain’t for you.

3) This is Alphabeat, Alphabeat

I’m late to the party on this one, but I still love it. Alphabeat is a Danish pop band from back in the day (2008, when I was still a nerdy sophomore in high school. Nowadays I’m a nerdy grad student) that is just out to have fun time with an upbeat tempo. 

Standout Track: 10,000 Nights

This is the only song that could include a lyrical shout out to Wuthering Heights and I could still love. That really is just not a good book (please send your hate mail to no one, there is no defending that book though I am suddenly worrying that my hate of this is unfair and I should reread to be sure. Eh, too much work for this post. I just don’t like it). 

4) Wild World, Bastille

I feel bad recommending this album because I’m sure everyone’s heard of Bastille and I’m losing my “cool, ahead of the musical times” vibe. But I just really enjoy listening to this. I can’t in good conciense leave it out.

Standout Track: Send Them Off!

Just listen to it. This is the sort of hooks that makes Bastille actually famous, unlike most of what I listen to.

Special Bonus Kinda Derp Round:

Music For Cats, David Teie

Ok, I mainly included this, cause I wanted to tell y’all this story. I saw this video describing music for cats and was enthralled. The idea is that most human music is based on human things like the sound of a heartbeat which forms the basis for most beats and frequencies. But this saint of man, David Teie, had gone through and scientifically (I think that means through random trial and error) found rhythms that cats more naturally respond to like the sound of their mother’s purr. It has a lot of purring-like growls and high violins that sound kind of like meowing. In general, it’s odd sounding but not bad. 

So I tried the sample, right? And I shit you not, Liz was deadass into it. She was purring up a storm and rolling all over the floor and having a great time. So I was like “yo damn!” I bought the whole album from the fucker David Teie.

But when I played the full album for Liz, she could not give less of a shit. There’s this microscope that some of my friends in the Materials Science Department use. It’s called a Transmission Electron Microscope or a TEM. With a TEM you can actually see atoms, the building blocks of existence, and how they are arranged. It’s a phenomenal machine and a modern marvel of engineering and science. If we were to use this TEM right now, we would not be able to begin to see the amount of fucks Liz gives about this music for cats.

I got robbed! Hoodwinked! Swindled! All for loving my cat. I could be ten dollars richer right now. That said, it’s a pretty dope idea. If it worked, I would have been into it.

Standout Track: Katey Moss Catwalk

I’ve played this album several times to try and get a response. Hasn’t really made Liz appreciate it any more, but this song sure has grown on me. Complete banger.

[shaycoldiron8-blog]

Ostentatious Activity.

Pretentious • I found Susie unbearably pretentious. • Although the decor may be actually pretty official, there is nothing at all ostentatious concerning the meals, which is actually down-home remarkable • So Princeton appeared helpful for college till I found their ostentatious admittances rep • The restaurant is suffocating, pretentious, as well as unbelievably expensive • He grumbled that my headlines were pretentious and hazy, and also smelt of the blue-stocking. • He may be pretentious in various other methods, but he was not presenting at the key-board • a pompous flick • Bangers and also mash is actually far better compared to pompous nouvellecuisine, though you could probably be actually a little bit much more initial! • He has a pompous design of creating, using 4 extremely hard phrases where one basic one would certainly carry out. • It could seem to be ostentatious to say therefore yet that is planned in Gramsci's conditions as an organic intellectual work. If you have virtually any questions with regards to where along with the best way to employ mountains of mourne sheet music [http://vidasaludables17.es], you possibly can contact us in the site. I feel that along with numerous wonderful characters throughout guide that everybody will have the capacity to discover somebody they could relate to. I additionally experience this will definitely hold true as the handful from people who have reviewed that thus far all have had different personalities for who they have actually connected to directly or even really loved and even hated. People are actually not simulating on their own, rather, their existing urbanity is actually violating across your plain-speaking truth. Leo understood something was actually taking place, however he didn't have an idea in order to what this Gauntlet concerned. Every age possesses musicians" that typically aren't really artists yet only pompous tryhards, nowadays our team merely possess simpler ways to discover all of them. Activity growth is such a resource consuming risk presently this is actually tough for the people doing this to justify slamming up the risk by taking opportunities along with divisive concepts. While you could talk about the quotes on their own in a suction and whether they are actually purposeful or worthless, I believe that examining the way people strongly rush and/or decline to label them is much more interesting. As well as permit me inform you one thing ... going to that stage in the game at the young age that I was actually pissed off over a few folks to claim the minimum. It ended up that a few of these people may possess suited up in a different way to me and perhaps led an other lifestyle to me but they were thus charming as well as enjoyable! What appears is actually a soaking up story told in a style that's antiquity without being dated, affluent however never ever pretentious. What most definitely turns up is actually a soaking up story informed in a type that's vintage without being actually dated, never pompous yet abundant. Pretension sets the amateur versus the professional in a video game trumped up through tradition, certifications and also institutional approval. This is actually not a ready anyone that loathes it when points are actually left up in the air as well as those who perform possess trouble locating their personal tale throughout the method from conforming. People along with large self-prides are actually usually so packed with themselves that they do not think any individual can probably challenge all of them. Mentioning that an individual is pompous may be a method of calling out the features as well as incongruities from power. Im simply unfortunate that its own over however I performed acquire an excellent 7-8 months of very little play off the game thus im delighted. To be honest, I 'd rather spend time along with these people compared to with along with you, as you come upon as extremely distressing. If the game possessed one objective, one story, one ending, one red threat to comply with, this will remove the originality of every players experience as well as worse, that will inform those that have actually not fully recognized the game or even misunderstood that, that their point of views are wrong and also they rather have to think just what the hivemind and/or producer have actually made it to imply. Coming from there, individuals can easily either read them or even in fact utilize them in their internet magazines. It is actually the best crucial video game since the beginning of when you started reviewing this. In some cases Wendy believed that talking in the middle of the evening and also would contact her best friend, Phillip, at 2 a.m. This habits seemed insulting and intrusive to him, however when he attempted to talk with her concerning the issue, she was difficult to disturb and also really did not seem to be to become listening. Individuals should let alone using fashion trend that examine blood stream flow as well as those that scratch the pompous location. They were actually established by women in the Heian period and also are actually still thought about feminine by Eastern people. When you were actually suddenly greeted along with collection puzzles, if the activity was based around accounts then you 'd be actually ideal to anticipate additional accounts as well as right to be dissatisfied! This is also highly recommended to name Pretentious.install _ spectator early to become capable to generate far better installations. The fifth video game ends with Magenta saying that she'll wait on Gray to be free of cost, so she could not have actually separated him nevertheless. This turned out that some of these people could have dressed differently to me and possibly led a various lifestyle to me however they were actually so attractive as well as exciting! What appears is a soaking up story told in a style that is actually vintage without being actually dated, never ever pompous however wealthy. What absolutely appears is actually an absorbing tale told in a design that is actually antiquity without being dated, abundant but never pretentious. Just a basic talk in between the two people motivated me adequate to write an article located around this, and also I'm a single from countless folks that he speaks with daily. Pretentiousness issues due to what this uncovers regarding exactly how your identification relates to everybody else's. Lots of people go back to square one, job really hard along with the best of intentions and also eventually become unconcerned or even upset with their shortage from development. The 5th activity pays attention to Magenta's emotions towards Gray, both before and also after the events of the previous activities. I think that the video game should be actually free and your capable to play all the levers certainly not must spend thus dirt for the levels entirely. Through presenting advertisements through an Activity this affects the buyer's understanding to the content creating the interaction procedure even more efficient, through supplying a delightful system for customers to come to be entailed with the label and also its own advertising and marketing notification. Lots of folks are a lot too vulnerable concerning this emotion, and also it's possibly a bad feeling to have, however it is actually very complicated to subsist leave. 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So I ONE HUNDRED% 'd The Witness a couple of days earlier, acquired it a pair full weeks ago after reviewing the meeting where he aspires to produce something like GR, I in fact installed windows just to play that. I am actually not a big challenge fella as well as this is definitely the first brand new video game I have actually played in about 2 years. He performed time for his session, but was always kept waiting on 2 hours in a little standing by area along with very old publications until he was actually called. The primary step in conquering your pompous developer propensities is to identify all of them and also accept to all of them. The accuser of allegation - naturally believing on their own to become the genuine bargain, in ownership of an enlightened and discriminating thoughts - believes that somewhere else on earth there is actually a legitimate write-up that the pretentious factor or person desires be, but is actually falling short of or exaggerating this. These are all weary and very noticeable opening techniques that the majority of astute customers know. This might function sometimes and acquire you some perks, yet commonly this is actually a foolish, apparent video game and as our experts both understand, this does not work! Yet claims to ordinariness and salt-of-the-earth merit are on their own ostentatious. It's a technique of claiming that contemporary fine art is actually a con" and also subtitled films are challenging" - that they carry out not appeal to everyone and therefore must be actually targeted at the sorts of folks that believe they are actually far better compared to everybody else. Take, for instance, the picture on p. 2 with the lettering The complete image of the carbon dioxide cycle.

[albertcaldwellne]

6 Simple Rules for Making a Great Workout Playlist

Maybe your gym plays music. Maybe you prefer running to the soothing sounds of nature, or the hum of the city or … a podcast. But for many of us, the gym’s taste in music is intolerable, yet silence is boring. And that’s why we make playlists.

Whether you fancy yourself an amateur DJ or you define your musical taste as whatever’s on the radio, these simple tricks will help you build a catalog of ready-to-go workout mixes. We can’t guarantee they’ll help you break any personal workout records, but we can’t not guarantee that, either.

1. TIMING IS KEY

The first and most important step is knowing how long your workouts usually are, so you can make sure your playlist syncs up. I tend to go for overlong mixes, because there’s nothing more frustrating than trying to complete those last laps to deafening silence. (Unless you use your frustration as motivation.)

2. UNLESS YOU’RE RUNNING A DANCE-CENTRIC FITNESS CLASS, DON’T WORRY ABOUT PACING

In a perfect world, you’d have a few minutes of warmup songs, followed by an increase in intensity, leading into some all-out ragers before easing into your cooldown. Unless you’re getting paid to be that precise, just make sure your songs are upbeat. (I usually just put my playlists on shuffle anyway.) As with a lot of things related to keeping fit, don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. You’re not trying to win a Grammy — or a DJ gig.

3. ALWAYS BE PLAYLISTING

The best inspiration tends to strike when you least expect it. So when you’re at work or enjoying downtime at home, keep your music app of choice open in a background window or on a nearby phone. Add songs as you think of them, and you’ll be surprised at how much variety there is.

4. SHAZAM IS YOUR FRIEND

That banger at the coffee shop. That catchy tune in a new ad. The rocker playing over last night’s basketball highlights. Shazam them all, then drop them in a playlist folder for future use. Pretty soon, you’ll have enough tunes for an all-new set.

5. PERFECT THE ART OF THE MIX

Variety is the key component of any successful fitness regimen. We don’t just mean your actual workouts — mixing up your environment, and what you do before and after your sessions, can give you an extra blast of motivation. This especially applies to your mix situation. I recommend exploring different, unexpected genres, like ‘90s punk rock (Rancid and Green Day always provide a useful kick in the pants). The basslines of classic funk and disco will get you groovin’. And if you’re into this kind of thing, there’s a whole bunch of military workout chants on most of the major music services. Left-left, left-right-left …

READ MORE > PUSH CADENCE TO THIS AUSTIN CITY LIMITS PLAYLIST

6. OUTSOURCE IT

Speaking of the major music services, almost all of them provide a few workout playlists you can just pre-load. Lazy? A little. Personalized? Hardly. But sometimes, you just want one less thing to worry about before you get out the door, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The post 6 Simple Rules for Making a Great Workout Playlist appeared first on Under Armour.

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