#but new personal life anthem just dropped

[semidecentpoet]

I think “Art Is for Amateurs” by Jam Mechanics, featuring Bug Hunter and the Narcissist Cookbook, might be replacing “Ghost Stories” by the Narcissist Cookbook as my favorite song and I Don’t Know How To Feel Ab That

[annebaby]

National Anthem ♡

hello all! this is my first multi-part fic, and I hope you like it! part two will be posted very soon :)

part two!

part three!

warnings: toxic snow, bribery, fem!reader x young!coriolanus snow, use of Y/N, that's it for this chapter!

I hope you enjoy! this is national anthem ♡

The capitol streets were bustling with the obnoxiously ignorant, blind-sighted chatter about the games this year. People in all the most unnecessary of extravagant clothing, smiling, laughing, and celebrating death. It was sickening, truly. Hearing them talk about their favorite tributes and the gruesome details of their death made you want to rip all your hair out. 

Surprisingly, you were not a stranger to this life. Born a capitol brat, you shouldn’t let this get you to your breaking point at all. A senior in the academy this year, you vividly recall the students being mentors in previous years; the thought of helping a child to their death made you want to vomit. 

So, you tried your best to get your single errand for the day done as fast as possible. Your goal: to find a dress for the gala in a few days. Nothing too showy, but not too modest. A dress that screams, ‘I’m pretty, but smart. I am a district doll.’ As the President’s daughter, appearance and impression were the two most important things drilled into your head. 

Your father, President Stirling, was a new favorite of Panem. His pride for the land, his love for the people, and his goals for the future are what got him elected. He was a very clean-cut man, always showing how much he loved his family. 

You knew better though. He was a cold man, one who hardly showed affection behind closed doors, a man who had spoken very rarely to his daughter. You didn’t really know much about him, always locked in his office and never really caring about you. Unless, it was about your appearances or impressions. 

Scurrying through the mall, you quickly find your go-to dress shop, a more quiet and less popular location. This dress shop has all of the current trends, but they always had something different about them that you loved. You hated capitol fashion, but it was your only option as the most looked upon girl in Panem. At least they all had a unique look to them. 

Entering the store and smelling its sweet fragrance, you hurriedly got to work. Giving every dress you liked to a worker, she put it in the dressing room for you. A common customer, they adored your business. They adored your money. 

Dress after dress, you had finally found a winner. A thin-strapped velvet dress with jewels adorning it in a beautiful pattern. It was a deep red, floor-length dress. Happy with the way it adorned your body, you took it off and handed it to the shop worker. Swiping Daddy’s credit card, you smiled at the workers and thanked them sincerely for their help. They handed you the dress across the counter and you started to make your way home. 

Navigating the large mall, there were people everywhere. You did your best to hide your face, sunglasses and all. The President’s daughter was always known as the Princess of Panem, a girl that the younger children looked up to. It was hard to be unnoticed. 

Swerving and dodging people to the best you could, you made it outside at last. Unfortunately, your presence had become known and now none other than Lucky Flickerman was awaiting you outside. Probably one of your least favorite capitol citizens, always pushing you for personal answers to appeal to the audience. 

Trying your best to spot your driver without being noticed, you see the blacked out SUV parked right down the street. It was a different car that dropped you off, but this SUV was still branded with the President’s logo. You open the doors to exit the mall, and Lucky Flickerman is already on you. 

“Is that the anticipated gown for the Gala, Ms. Stirling? What color is it? Just a peek? We’d love to see it!” 

By the time he was done getting his jumble of questions out, you had already reached the SUV. Opening the passenger door, you quickly threw the dress in the back. However, you noticed your driver was a different man than usual. 

“Coriolanus? Did my dad send you as my driver?” You took the sunglasses off your face, confusion taking over as you awaited his answer. 

Coriolanus Snow was your father’s newest intern. A charming man, certainly. He was handsome, smart, and cunning. You had a schoolgirl crush on him since he started working for your family, but you pushed it to the side. You didn’t want to be just another nuclear wife with a nuclear family in the capitol. You just weren’t ready to accept your inevitable fate. 

“Yes. The other driver wasn’t aware he was supposed to wait for you, and he returned home,” Coriolanus says. He puts the vehicle in gear and begins to take you both back to your estate. 

“Oh, that’s odd. He’s never done that before,” you say. He was a nice man, you had actually gotten on with him quite well. You weren’t sure where communication went wrong. 

“Yeah. He was fired immediately after he stepped in the door.” Coriolanus doesn’t look at you, just keeps his gaze on the road ahead of him. 

You didn’t expect much less from your father at all, but still your chest ached for the nice man. After all, he talked to you more than your own father did. 

You looked at Coriolanus for much too long after he said that. You admired his slicked-back blonde hair, his prominent jawline and you took in all of his aura you could. The Snow family had a newfound power in recent years, and boy did he know it. He was dripping in luxury. He carried himself with such seriousness and coldness that it drew you in. 

You broke away from your trance, looking forward at the road as well. It was hard to focus on anything but him when you were around Coriolanus. He too was a capitol brat, one of the worst. He supported the games in all their glory, though he was never too extravagant about it. He’s a few years older than you, meaning he’s seen more of the games. He probably accepted the fact that they were never going to end. 

Stuck in your thoughts once again, you hadn’t even realized you reached your estate that quickly. The car stopped, and Coriolanus opened the door and shut it quietly. He headed to your side of the vehicle and opened your door, holding out his hand for you to grab. Blushing, you smiled and took his hand, slowly exiting the car. He opened the back of the car, retrieved your dress, and you two headed into the house.  “Thank you, Coriolanus. You didn’t have to do all that,” you speak gently. “It’s a part of my job, Y/N,” he says coldly. You wonder if you’ll ever get past his emotionless wall. You enter the house, and Coriolanus hands the dress off to a helper so they can take it to your room. 

“Lovely seeing you today, Miss Y/N,” he says before walking back towards her father’s office. He strides when he walks, hands in his pockets and chin up. You smile to yourself, before heading up to your room.

The next day at the academy was dragging. Excitement bubbled in your stomach for the Gala the next day, and all of the classes were giving you a headache. You didn’t need them anyway - your success was guaranteed thanks to your father. 

As you were finally dismissed from your last class, you gathered your things and headed for the door. Cascading down the stairs, your best friend Bridgette Sinclair joined you. 

Both of you had been friends for years, taking a fancy to each other's' company. She was a shorter girl, with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. A true capitol beauty, you had always thought. She too was born into the power she had, and she too believed all the same as you did. She didn’t act arrogant, never bragged on any of her assets. You loved her like a sister. 

“I say, we go to the park and discuss the Gala tomorrow! I can’t wait to see you there, Y/N.” You giggled with the girl, allowing your teenage personality to peek through. 

“Let’s go to my house instead, I’ll show you my dress!” You smiled and jumped up and down, finally allowing yourself to be true to how excited you were. 

She squealed in response as you waited for your driver. You hoped and prayed it wasn’t Coriolanus, Bridgette would never shut up about it. She knew about your crush, and she wanted you to talk to him so bad. Every time she’d hear about him, see him, or even just think about him, she would always tell you and then laugh at your blush. 

The both of you sit and gossip until the black SUV comes to pick you both up. Fingers crossed behind your back, you open the door with your other hand, and almost roll your eyes. Coriolanus is your driver again, of course. His blue eyes look at you through the rearview mirror as you sit down, not breaking his gaze even when Bridgette sits next to you. 

“Still no new driver I guess, yeah?” You look back at him through the window as he suddenly stops staring. Bridgette laughs and grabs your hand. 

“Uh- yeah no. Not yet. Your father is a particular man,” Coriolanus says, hesitantly. 

He slowly starts to take you both back to the estate, the car ride consisting of awkward stares from Coriolanus as Bridgette pesters you through hushed whispers. You almost feel as if he’s hearing everything she’s saying. You smack her quickly and quietly in hopes she’ll shut up. 

Arriving at the estate, Coriolanus does the same thing as before and opens the car door for you and Bridgette. However, his hand is only offered to you, not her. A strange action for him, you had always known him to be cold but still very polite. You took his hand and exited the vehicle before running into the house with Bridgette, looking back at Coriolanus as a ‘thank you’, before heading inside. 

“Y/N I have got to see your dress. I won’t tell anyone what it looks like, just please show me!” Bridgette plops onto your bed, anticipating your dress like a child on Christmas morning.

 You smile and head into your closet to retrieve the gorgeous gown. Grabbing it off the hanger, you slowly unzip the protective bag off of it. Bridgette’s eyes widen as she gets up to feel the dress, jaw dropped to the ground. She feels the material all in her fingers, gently admiring everything about the highly anticipated gown. 

“Oh my God Y/N. It’s beautiful. I absolutely love it!” She starts smiling widely before getting a mischievous grin on her face. 

“You know who else will love it,” she says, giggling slightly. 

You zip up the dress and hang it back in the closet, getting flustered by Bridgette’s continuous mentioning of Coriolanus. As much as you wished he had noticed you in the same way, you knew it would never happen. You were just like every other girl in the capitol. Nothing special about you. You wished he would see you as something special, but you were sure he didn’t. 

“If you don’t stop mentioning him, I'm going to strangle you, I swear.” You point at her, smiling sternly. She puts her hands up in a ‘it wasn’t me’ motion, before you plop down onto the bed next to her. 

“I really wish he did say something to me, just once you know? He is really handsome,” you admit. You hardly ever opened up about your feelings for him, just felt like getting it off your chest. 

“I know, Y/N. But I'm telling you, in a dress like that, with looks like yours, you won’t go unnoticed. There is simply no way he won’t stare at you tomorrow. And believe me, I noticed him looking at you in the rearview today. And! He only gave his hand to you for help out of the car. That had to mean something!” Bridgette sits up on the bed, you shortly following. She shakes your shoulders and tells you to be more confident in yourself. 

Hours pass by discussing makeup and flirting tips and all the other girly topics you could think of. All in preparation for the gala, of course. You discussed which shoes to wear, which hairstyle would look best, what color lipstick, everything. You knew you would feel pretty tomorrow, just maybe not pretty enough for him. 

Bridgette left after all the discussion, being picked up by her own driver. As you were walking back to your room after taking her to the door, you spot Coriolanus in the hall. He was passing off cash to a man you had never seen before. You quickly hide in the doorframe and try to listen as best you can. The man is short, seems friendly enough. 

‘Maybe a new hire?’ you think to yourself. Then, you’re finally able to pick up their conversation. 

“Just let me pose as the driver for a few more days. I won’t tell Mr. Stirling. Just leave the premises when you’re supposed to pick her up, and return back to the house in however long it would take you to pick her up yourself. Just this last time,” Coriolanus quietly whispers. He’s practically begging the poor man, shoving wads of cash towards him. 

‘Are they talking about me? He wants to drive me around? Is that why he’s been my driver?’ Thoughts are running through your head a mile a minute. So fast, you weren’t able to notice the conversation being over, and Coriolanus now heading your way. 

Too late to try to hide, you slowly start to reveal yourself as if you had just been walking to your room. He spots you immediately, eyes getting wide. You smile at him slightly, before trying to reach the stairs. However, he speeds up and grabs you by the shoulders, pressing you against a nearby wall. 

“Did you hear any of that, Ms. Y/N? Be honest with me.” His eyes piercing into yours, quickly darting from your lips and back up. He looks absolutely insane. 

“I- uh no. I don’t even know what you’re talking about I swear,” you lie. His eyes are scanning your face frantically before he releases you. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. As I'm sure you’re now aware, I'll be your driver. Be ready at 5. I’ll pick you up.” He slowly stares for just a second before walking away. He’s wearing a long coat, taking long strides. Something about him is so addicting. 

You catch your breath for a second, slowly starting to put the pieces together. He knew you were listening, and now you knew you were correct. He wanted to be your driver and he was bribing the new hire! Oh you couldn’t wait to tell Bridgette about this. 

You hurriedly headed up to your room, changing into your PJs and getting ready for bed. Your mind continuously running on overdrive, you couldn’t seem to focus on anything, except the fact he was taking you to the gala tomorrow. Did he like you?

Getting into your bed, it wasn’t long before you fell asleep, Coriolanus heavy on your mind. 

[meaninglessrambles]

i don't like a gold rush.

ship: spencer agnew x gn!reader.

summary: it’s really hard working for someone as pretty as spencer.

warnings: none, really. spencer is technically in a position of power which could make for some potentially icky dynamics if anything were to actually happen. but, if even the thought of that makes you uncomfy, read with caution.

author’s note: i always considered gold rush to be the delusional girlie (in the most gender neutral way ofc) anthem so i thought it’d be fun to do something playing off that.

my mind turns your life into folklore, i can't dare to dream about you anymore.

you're spiraling. you can feel it as you sit there, chin cupped in the palm of your hand, eyes—despite your best efforts, no, seriously, you're trying—peering steadily over the top of the monitor, you're over the edge, crossing metaphorical lines you hadn't even thought possible a matter of months ago.

the butterflies you once thought had long gone dormant, the giggles you can't suppress, the almost desperate desire for even the tiniest bit of attention—it's all so utterly unserious. you're too old for all this, having left behind the silly school yard crushes decades ago and, yet, here you were, ogling your boss from across the room.

he's hunched over alex's desk, iphone held eye level as he swipes a digit across the screen. "look," he guffaws, "you see what i'm seeing? dude's straight jorking it. we're so playing this."

spencer's enthusiasm, so endearing, is quickly tuned out as you drop your gaze to his hand, pressed hard against the laminate, fingers splayed out, holding the rest of his body upright, steady. then up to his forearm—you don't know who half of the little characters are or what they did to deserve being immortalized in such a fashion—and the sleeves of his shirt. this one you don't recognize but you've made yourself familiar with the rest of his wardrobe, wondering how various articles would look thrown around your room or draped over your own body as you tip-toe out of the room, ready to make breakfast or shower or run errands.

for all intents and purposes, it's wrong. feeling this way is one thing, but fantasizing like this another. this is someone you spend forty-plus hours a week with, your boss. but hey, you're not the first person to fall for a silly little guy. a silly little guy with pretty eyes and nice hair... and a killer sense of humor.. and charming disposition. and... oh, fuck.

you're not the first person.

and there it is. just like every time you let your imagination run a little too wild, you have that moment where you crash back to earth, when your bubble pops.

this isn't just a fun little workplace crush on some co-worker—or superior, whoops. sometimes you forget just due to familiarity, but spencer is a highly sought—lusted—after internet personality. your thoughts have been thought before, your feelings are not new or special or unique, any number of people are having the same daydreams.

reality hits as you sit back in your seat and let out a huff of air. "okay," you mutter, tapping your cheeks with just enough to force to really get you to focus, "get it together."

everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.

[freshbakedbreadstick]

No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Chapter Eight

Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader

Richie Jerimovich x F!Platonic!Reader

Summary: Forgiveness is earned, not given. And you were prepared to do whatever it takes to earn it, even if it means groveling for the rest of your life. 

Warnings:  All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers. Mentions of death, grief, angst, strained relationships, arguments, details of anxiety/panic attacks, bad coping mechanisms, mental health issues, running away, addiction, al-anon.  

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N: BESTIES ! ! ! i AM BACK FROM THE DEADDDDDD ! ! ! Unfortunately, i became an academic victim instead of an academic weapon this past year . Currently suffering thru a stress induced cold too LOL love that 4 me . ut the year is over n finals r done so ill be continuing this ! ! ! ! Anywaysssss only two chapters left of this series </3 breaks my heart low-key LOL I really enjoyed writing this whole thing, it was fascinating putting the emotions into this whole thing ! Quite the experience, I tell ya ! but anywayssss have a slay day ! 

Taglist: @marysucks-blog @shinebright2000 @jadeittic @eternallyvenus @jackierose902109 (i apologize if i missed anyone new or previous!! please let me know if you were missed/wanna be added <3)

Masterlist

The tears wouldn’t stop bubbling over, leaving stains of sea salt on your cheeks that wouldn’t go away no matter how many times you rubbed it with the back of your hand. At this point, your skin was raw from your scrubbing. But no matter what you did, they just wouldn’t go away.

The Al-Anon meeting had since been adjourned and slowly but surely people were shuffling out of their seats and either to the snack table for a quick swipe of donuts and coffee or straight to the door out of there. But here you were, scrubbing away fat tears that continued to roll down your cheeks, staring straight at the back of the head of a person you didn’t really know if you wanted to face at that moment. 

A particularly watery group of tears clouded your vision, making you wince and snap your eyes shut before bringing both your hands up to viciously scrub them away, taking your vision from the head whom you were trained on. As you scrubbed, feeling your eyes burn and vision turn into a kaleidoscope of colors, you failed to notice the sound of someone getting up and rapidly approaching you until it was too late.

A strong hand gripped your forearm and jerked you up from your seat, making you yelp and snap your eyes open again. They stung from the sudden sunlight invading your vision, but you blinked it away, instead focusing on the person with a calloused grip dragging you out of the room with a rush that made those still sticking around gasp and glance in your direction. 

You barely managed to hold yourself and your stuff together when you realized you were out the door of the room and back into the empty hallway. Carmy dropped his grip with an expression on his face that you couldn’t read at all. 

“Carmy-“ you began.

“Stop, stop, stop. Don’t start…. Not now….” 

Carmy sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking off and away from you. His shoulders started to sag, making him look so uncharacteristically… scared in front of you. 

He glanced back at you, watching your mouth open and close like a fish out of water as you kept trying to stop yourself from launching into some sort of explanation or apology. He continued to watch as you leaned against the wall, your body folding it on itself as your knees got weaker and weaker. All you did was stare at him with wide, watery eyes, trying so hard not to say anything. 

After some silence, Carmy looked away and spoke up, “You came.”

You swallowed the knot on your throat before nodding hesitantly.

He turned to look at you, blue eyes rimmed red. 

“Why.”

You opened your mouth, ready to launch into what you wanted to say, but Carmy threw his hand up to signal you to stop. With one hand on his hip, he looked at the floor and sighed again. 

“Why now? Is this an attempt for you to... to make it all better? Just like that? Listen, that might’ve worked on my brother but definitely not me.”

“No, I-“ 

“If you think of this as your form of retribution for everything, forget it. I don’t need your begging for forgiveness or your pity. I can’t… I can't just get over this, okay?”

“Carmy, I get that but-”

“But what? There are no amount of apologies or declarations of love for my brother in front of a group of strangers that will… that will change how i feel about this-”

“Carmy!”

He snapped his mouth shut.

With shaky legs, you stood up before him and made direct eye contact.

“I’m sorry.”

His adam's apple bobbed as he stared at you. 

You took in a shaky breath, “I’m not asking for anything, okay? I just… I want to say sorry. For stressing you out. For worrying everyone. For…. for leaving. I’m sorry.”

Then, Carmy did something you haven’t seen him do in a long, long time.

He cried. 

Tears spilled over his red rimmed baby blues, falling slowly, then faster and faster and faster.

With a choked breath, Carmy whispered out, “I needed you.”

“I needed you and you… you weren’t here. You ran. And I ran too.”

He shifted uncomfortably and looked away, but still whispered out his confession. 

“I was so… so fucking scared. I didn’t know what to do. But I knew that I needed you here. But you got scared too. So you ran. I…”

And with that, you began to sob.

You leaned against the wall, sobbing into your hands. You could barely hear his words over the echo of your cries, but you didn’t care. And you didn’t care when people came slowly out of the meeting room, casting glances in your direction before walking away to exit the building.

“I’m sorry. I… i’m taking it out on you. But you aren’t my brother. You're you. And I needed you in the same way you needed me. But…neither of us were here for each other like we promised.”

One thing you and Carmy always did during an infamous Berzatto family dinner was sneak out of the house and into the front yard, leaning against the garage door to share a cigarette.

Whether it was Donna’s yelling that drove Carmy out or Mikey’s constant erratic personality that got you feeling overwhelmed, you both somehow managed to take a second to go outside and catch a breath at the same time. 

So it became tradition to sneak out for 10 minutes before someone came looking for one or the other, to silently smoke and have a brief moment of peace.

Most of the time you were alone together, other times Natalie joined the two of you, usually just closing her eyes and leaning against the wall besides you, silent. 

By the 32nd informal Berzatto Family Sneak Out, as you two dubbed it, Carmy was opening up to you. He would tell you about how life has been treating him, his struggles, and general day to day things he enjoyed. You would do the same, providing him with his own mental escape just as he did for you.

Some days he would chatter on and on in a way you didn’t normally see him do. Other days it was silence. But regardless,you enjoyed his company regardless, as he did yours.

One Christmas, the two of you were shivering in the cold but still out there in scarves and sweaters regardless. 

“Shit,” you murmured and threw the cigarette down to stomp on it, foot sliding across the icy pavement.

You wobbled a bit, making Carmy snicker as you shot him a look.

“Hey uh, i got you a really cool present this year.” 

You glanced at him, rubbing your hands together, “Oh yea? Owning up for last year’s mistake?” 

Carmy rolled his eyes, “I swear i didn’t know you owned that sweater.”

You laughed, “I wore it during Thanksgiving!! It was right in front of you and you didn’t even notice!”

Carmy rolled his eyes and chuckled, rubbing the dark circles under them.

“Yea whatever, give me shit. But i promise this one will blow you away. I put a lot of thought into it, especially because it’s been a while since i’ve been down here…”

You hummed, looking off into the soft piles of snow glittering under the string lights, some red, others blue. 

“I missed you, you know…”

Carmy sighed, throwing his cigarette down and stomping on it. 

“I did too.”

You looked up at Carmy, smiling but no longer feeling your lips. He smiled back at you. 

“Promise me that we'll always have these little sneak outs, yea? It keeps me from going insane on your brother,” you said with a snort. 

He just chuckled, “Of course… I'll always be there for you if you’ll always be there for me… yea?”

He extended his hand out. You slapped your hand into his, shaking it with a playful grin. 

“Agreed.”

Someone calls your name from inside. Mikey’s booming voice echos from the house, loud and clear like a siren call within a turbulent sea. You whip your head to the front door and giggle, “Better get going, come on Berzatto. Maybe i’ll let you have my leftover christmas cookies if you sneak me an extra piece of that tiramisu you brought.”

With that, the two of walked back into the home for the rest of the night.

You can feel his hands gently grip your shoulders, helping you up from leaning against the cold wall into his arms. His muscular arms wrapping around you, the familiar scent of spices and sweat invading your nose; a scent so remarkably Carmy. 

“I’m sorry… I just really needed you… I needed you and i.. didn’t know how to ask…” He whispered into your neck, muffled. 

You sobbed, staining his shirt with tears but neither of you cared as you stood there, in the empty hallway as the setting sun streamed in through stray rays. 

By the time you separated from the hug, the hallway was a twilight blue. His rough hands reached up to your eyes, thumbing them away with a gentleness that made you want to cry again.

“I missed you.” you managed to say, after a long period of silence. 

“I missed you too…” he murmured, eyes droopy.

It was quiet and it felt… good. It felt good to stand there, staring at the lines on one another's' faces that showed the age and the years that you missed while apart. The stories they told you of each other, of how you drifted apart. But now they showed a different story. 

It felt good to be back.

“Hey uh, i have to get back… we have a, uh, bachelor’s party today…”

This made you snort, making Carmy crack a side smile. 

“A bachelor’s? At The Beef? Are you that broke?”

This made him chuckle softly, “Uh, yea…”

You shook your head with a small smile, “Well, I guess you better get going then. Everyone’s waiting on you, chef.”

Carmy looked to the floor, stepping away from you as he continued to smile, “Yes chef.”

You watched through as Carmy waved to you and your parents from the backseat of their car, your arms wrapped around yourself tightly. Your mom waved enthusiastically as your dad backed out, tires scratching on the gravel underneath you.

He got smaller and smaller as you all pulled away, making your way back home with a car full of hope. 

It was 6 in the morning when you got the call from Carmy.

You drove a little above the speed limit as you chewed on your bottom lip, eyes sweeping across the streets as your car lurched forward ahead of everyone else. The streets were slick from a light morning fog, rolling in with the cooler weather of fall and winter. But your skin was too hot to even realize how cold it was outside as you ran across the street from where you parked to The Beef. 

You threw the back door open, causing multiple people to throw their heads around to look at you. Ebraheim nodded in your direction and Tina smiled warmly. She glanced behind her before turning back to you, beckoning you in from your stiff stance in the doorway. 

You thanked her softly as you walked in, the chill from the air behind you making you shiver in your light sweatshirt and thin pants. 

You found Marcus in his corner, organizing diligently as Carmy walked away from his station and to Ebraheim’s, where he held up and complained about a sparkly black bra. You giggled as you watched them, getting Carmy’s attention.

He walked swiftly around the kitchen, signaling you to follow with a nod of his head. 

The two of you moved to stand in the door way leading to the front of the restaurant, watching Richie and Tina laugh before they turned, grabbing cleaning supplies. But when Richie turned and saw you, he briefly froze.

“Richie…” you said softly, crossing your arms across your chest with an arched brow. Carmy clued you in during the call, which is why you rushed here as soon as possible, worried sick about Richie.

“Hey uh…” he mumbled, sheepishly looking away from you as he scratched the back of his neck and avoided your gaze.

“Really? Jail?” you huffed.

“Come on, it was hardly even jail. I spent a night in holding, that’s it. Besides, i’ve done my penance… i’m a changed man. ” Richie said with a roll of his eyes and a choked laugh. 

You rolled your eyes, only to tense up when he asked his next question, “Why are you here?”

It wasn’t meant to be accusatory, just curious considering how the last conversation had ended here. But here you were, beside Carmy who didn’t seem very upset next to you. 

You looked away, clearing your throat softly, “Can we… can we talk in private about that…”

Richie visibly softened and glanced at Carmy before turning back to you, “Listen, you don't have to worry about-”

“No no no, just listen to me first, okay? Please… cousin?” 

This made Richie perk up and clear his throat, “Yea yea, come uh, come out back with me then..”

The two of you made your way to the backdoor, Carmy’s eyes trained on your backs right up until the door clicked shut behind you. 

“Listen Richie, I'm… I'm sorry. For… for everything. It’s…” you began, your throat drying up pretty soon after. 

Richie sighed, pacing away from you for a second as you struggled to swallow the lump in your throat. 

“Can i… say something…?” 

You looked at him, his back turned to you. But you heard him and the slight quiver in his throat loud and clear.

“I… it’s a secret so you have to promise not to tell anyone.” He said, laughing softly.

He slowly turned to you, showing the guilt and remorse all over his face that cleared that little moment of laughter right up. 

You nodded slowly, stepping forward toward him, “Yea, yea, of course….”

He hesitated, glancing up at you and analyzing every part of you for some form of dishonestly… but he found none. He only found the same eyes looking back at him, with trust glittering in them, like all those years ago. 

“Okay…” he began with a shaky breath, “I…”

You leaned forward some more, nodding softly. 

“I… I never once regretted loving Tiff.” 

Your eyes widened.

“She… was everything to me. I don’t regret loving her… even now…”

You could feel your heart racing in your ears. The way his eyes watered slightly as his hands shook at his side made your own eyes water. But his words, his words shook you up more than anything.

“I fucked up alot with her… you know that… and… and i don’t regret it either…”

Your bottom lip quivered. 

“I don’t think you should regret anything you did out of love for Mikey either… okay?”

You could only whimper, reaching forward to wrap your arms around him. He wound his arms around your own body, squeezing tightly as he did so, squishing you against him but neither of you cared. 

“So don’t apologize to me, okay? I know why you ran, and I don't blame you for it either.”

“....Thank you Richie… you're the greatest friend Mikey and I could ever have…”

Richie smiled softly, pressing a kiss to your hairline, “Of course, Mikey might… Mikey might not be here but I am. I’m here for you…”

“Thank you…” you tried desperately to hold back the tears.

The two of you held each other there, in the cool morning air until Richie cleared his throat and murmured, “So you and Carmy are good now? Or what the hell?”

You laughed, voice watery. 

“Listen, i thought you two would fight each other out here, honestly. Wrestle like you would as kids over the last goddamn pudding cup but uh, i guess not huh.”

“No…no. We uh, talked yesterday and it… it ended pretty good i think.” 

You stepped back with a sigh, brushing away a couple pesky tears, “You know Carmy, he’s not easy to forgive so I don't expect that talk to fix everything but i… I'm glad I finally grabbed the hand that was reaching out…”

Richie shook his head, “I don’t get how you two always were so buddy-buddy, you’re like exact opposites.”

You shrugged, “You don’t know Carmy like I did… like I do. We are a lot more similar than you might think.”

With that Richie chuckled and clapped his hands together, “Alright, no more slacking, we got a shit ton of prep today.”

The two of you wiped your tears away with small chuckles as you stared at one another’s puffy eyes and flushed faces, trying your best to not look like wrecks as you walked back inside with small smiles. 

The day went off without a hitch, until… the fire.

[peaky-shelby]

New Romantics | Mbappé x OC

baby we're the new romantics. Come on, come along with me. Heartbreak is a national anthem. We sing it proudly.

» summary: in which an arrogant and talented football player (the best of his time as some say) and a focused and harsh critic of a journalist are gonna have to find a way to co-exist.

» Prologue

» writer's note: posting this as a first taste before the first chapter which will hopefully come soon as well. If you'd like to follow the story please comment so i can know if people are actually interested before i start writing.

Taglist: @mywhimsyjournal @mrs-bellingham

“Everyone is cheering for the young man everywhere he goes, comparing him with Ronaldo and sometimes, his teammate Messi but ones the true Messi is out of the picture, Mbappe seems unable, in the least, to keep the fort down– what in the actual fuck- J'emmerde cet article stupide. Putain de merde.”

“Oi! Oi! Tranquilles!” Hakimi neared him, holding up his hand as a sign of good faith and took the article from his hands. He started reading it himself while Kylian paced around the room in anger.

“It’s not the first time this man has attacked me-” he started “he always has an opinion and never seems to be satisfied with anything-”

“He’s written things about me and Leo as well. I recognize the name. Don’t take it personally it’s just an angry journalist, there are a lot of those-“

“An angry journalist with views and reads. It’s like fucking gossip girl for football and why is it always about me-”

“You’ve watched gossip girl?” asked Hakimi raising his eyebrows. Kylian paused at his question, like he had confessed to a crime or something.

“My girlfriend used to- why do I have to explain this?” Hakimi shrugged, waving away his previous question. Although Kylian was certain that he would probably bring it up again at some point. “Can we please get back on the real issue?”

“Which is?”

“a fucking random guy who has probably never even touched a football in his life. Who the hell even is he-” Kylian snatched pack the article, searching for the name of the author. “JW” he read “is that even a real name”

“Ok!” Hakimi grabbed back the article, throwing it on the nearest table “I think you need a break.” He pulled him by the hand to drag him out on the training field.

“Im telling you it’s not a real name-”

“No, I bet it’s not. Let’s go.”

Kylian was grumpy for the rest of the training. Kicking the balls and imagining it was JW, running as fast as he could around the field to take out his anger and tackling even his teammates. When he was over, he sat on the bench in the changing rooms, a towel around his waist and nothing to cover his broad chest. He was holding the article in his hands, reading it again and again. His phone next to him was buzzing with messages and when he opened it his Twitter feed was spammed with the same article. J.W. didn’t have any of his personal information on his website or his socials. Following no one, liking nothing, there was nothing to connect him to an actual person but there were theories about him being a girl. Kylian laughed when he read one of them, it actually brightened his mood, like any girl was bold enough to write such harsh and-as much as he hated to admit it- on point reviews for football players and especially him, who was every girl’s favorite according to… well himself. No, that was just an asshole that was jealous of him. An asshole that probably couldn’t play football or get any of the girls he liked, so he had his fun ruining others. “Typical” he mumbled and shut off his phone but not before typing back a quick respond under his latest tweet “get a life”.

Taylor JW's House / London — Night

“Oh no he didn’t!” Taylor’s mouth dropped when she saw his tweet. She got up from the couch, stumbling on the blankets she was covered with and falling on the ground.

“Oh my god, are you ok?” Yelled Trish while eating her popcorn on the other side of the small living room, leaning forward in her seat to look at Taylor, who was now laying with her face planted on the carpet.

“No!” she said putting strength in her hands to get up, groaning as she did that “no I’m not ok! I’m angry” she sat on her knees, staring at her phone “he’s such a cry baby!”

“Who? Oh god Tay, is it your ex again? Didn’t you block him?” she was still eating her popcorn.

“its not Alex! It’s Mbappé!”

Trish mouth remained closed. Her eyes opening wide. She left the bucket with the popcorn on the couch while getting up to get to her friend, sitting on her knees to look at the screen “the hot one?”

“Oh-” Taylor’s hands dropped and she let out a deep sigh of annoyance, looking at her friend like she was done. Trish shrugged her shoulders and got hold of the phone. She began to laugh, trying hard to keep it in so Taylor smacked her in the stomach, getting her phone back.

“What? I’m sorry! It’s funny!”

“It’s not funny!” she finally got up from the floor, untangling herself from all the blankets, throwing them right and left, one of them falling on Trish’s head. “He doesn’t even know me.” She walked over to her computer was, opening it quickly.

“I mean” Trish threw away the blanket she had thrown on her and got up as well “you don’t know him either but you’ve been writing about him every week, judging him-”

“I’m not judging him. I think he’s great! I’m judging the way he plays. Last night he missed 4 chances and ruined 1 because he didn’t want to pass the ball over to Junior-“ Trish had already lost interest but she let her go on for the shake of it “—I’m telling you There’s a difference, and also, it’s my job-”

“It’s not a job, it’s a hobby! Did you even finish that article about the sales, Miranda asked you for?” Taylor looked up from her computer screen slightly. Her eyes betraying her. Trish sighed, shaking her head “you’re unbelievable”

“There was a game last night- I had to watch and write a post. My fans are very demanding.”

“Fans aka creeps on a screen obsessed with football”

“Hey!” she pointed at Trish “I’m one of those creeps”

“Why don’t you just get a job at sports magazine?”

Taylor laughed, while moving the pad to get on her website. There were so many comments on last update about Kylian, it seemed she had really hit a chord. “When you find me one that doesn’t treat women like shit, I will. People find out you’re a woman in this world and suddenly your opinion has no place in their columns. It’s in fact, annoying.”

“So is staying without a job, which is what will happen if you don’t write about those goddamn sales in two hours.”

“It will only take 10 minutes, it’s fine!” she waved it off, hitting press on the new post tab but before her fingers met the keyboard, she got an inbox. She opened it quickly, it was a message from psg, one of their employees. “No shit” she mumbled, barely able to function.

“What now?”

“Galtier wants to speak to me.”

“Who’s that?” Trish walked over to her, a confused look in her face.

“It’s the coach of PSG.”

Trish stood next to her reading the message

“Dear JW.

My name is Julie Blanchet. I work for the PR of Paris-saint German.

The coach of our team, Mr. Galtier, would like to get in contact with you, so I’m tasked to arrange a meeting with you and him in Paris. Please send us an email we can communicate with or a phone. Below you’ll find my personal ID CARD attached so you won’t doubt for the authenticity of this message. Thank you very much.

Have a good day.”

She paused “well send the email what the hell are you waiting for?”

Taylor was frozen. She was thinking of all the possibilities, fearing them even. Her heart sinking.

“What’s wrong with you?”

She looked up at her friend, desperate. “Any time someone has asked to meet me and I go, they minute they see me they think I’m the assistant and they don’t even believe me when I tell them it’s me. Do I really want to fly all the way to Paris just to get that same reaction?”

Trish bit her lip and kneeled down next to her friend, giving het a sympathetic look. “Just prove to them you are better than any man they could have wished for, no matter the hell they give you. I think it’s time for you to stop hiding, chase what you actually love and put your foot down. You’ve been wasting away your time in things you don’t love for years” She smiled “in the words Kylian Mbappé-”

“Don’t- don’t you fucking dare-”

“Get a life!” she finished the sentence and Taylor jumped on her. Play fighting with her on the floor. She was actually considering it, leaving everything behind in London and chasing something new in Paris, maybe. Or just the opportunity of seeing psg playing live, well that was enough to make her quit her day job and do something spontaneous for ones.

PSG TRAINING CAMPUS / PARIS – DAY

“he hasn’t stopped coughing ever since Saturday. You know how many days is that Ky? 5 days- 5 days off listening him cough his lungs out-“ Kylian wasn’t really listening. Not that he didn’t care about Hakimi and his baby, who apparently was sick, but his mind couldn’t focus. He was pulling on the sled drags and slowly coming up. These exercises were usual for him, he did them every day but today was different, he had this heavy feeling on his stomach. He stopped and released himself from the sled drags, nudging his friend.

“Let’s go have a run.” He said quickly and was already sprinting on the open field. Snatching a ball on his way there and throwing it back on the grass, kicking it. He did a few tricks, kicking it up in there and then pushing it with his head on his friend who stepped on it and kicked it back to him.

“You ok bro?” he asked, while they exchanged passes at each other.

“Sure. I may had overreacted with the JW thing.”

Hakimi laughed “No kidding.”

“I don’t know. There’s something awfully annoying about him-“

“GUYS!” Neymar Jr. ran about to them, out of breath like he had been running from the other side of the stadium. Kylian noticed he had a weird look on his face and ducked down to get the ball while Hakimi was approaching him “I went to see Linda, you know, new secretary, upstairs. Looks very pretty today by the way-“

“To the point Junior!”

Neymar took in a few more breaths, pointing up at the offices of Galtier. “JW is here. You know, football writer, he has a website-“

“Yeah we’ve heard of him- Kylian where are you going? Kylian-“

Hakimi rushed behind his friend, who was walking very fast down the hallways. Kylian heard him yelling but he wasn’t going to stop, he wanted to meet that fool even if it got him in trouble with Galtier, see if he had the balls to say all that he was writing on his face. He brushed passed a few people who called his name until he reached the upper floor where the offices were. Linda, stood up when she saw him and walked towards him to stop him- “Mr. Galtier is in a meeting-“ The moment she said that the door opened, Galtier coming out first, Kylian moved closer to him, angry. Hakimi had just reached him, to hold him back.

“Is it true? is that fucking fool here. Where is he? Scared to come out-“ he went quiet quickly when he saw a girl coming out, no older than 25 years old. Brunette hair, hazel eyes. Holding a pile of folders in her hands. She looked small next to Galtier, she looked nervous. Kylian laughed, rubbing his face “He couldn’t even come here himself? He had to send his assistant? Who the hell are you-“

Galtier went to speak “She’s actually-“ but the small girl raised her hand to stop him, faking a smile.

“I’m Taylor. Jo’s assistant.” She answered, reaching her hand out for Kylian to shake. Kylian looked at her hand suspiciously before accepting the offer.

“Your boss is a coward, isn’t he?”

She laughed, taking back her hand. “Is there a message you want me to give him Mr. Mbappe. Except of course the one you already sent him yourself.”

Kylian backed off, placing his hands on his hips “Tell him he should keep his nose out of things he doesn’t have the knowledge on. And he was unfair for Friday’s game-“

“So you didn’t actually avoid passing the ball to Number 10 who was unmarked across from you because the defenders were occupied with the golden child, that’s you by the way, and instead chose to go with an impossible kick for the net which of course resulted to you missing a golden chance.” She spoke so quickly he could hardly follow her rhythm. She gave him a smile at the end, like she knew she had already won the argument.

Hakimi got close to him, putting his hand over his mouth and whispering repeatedly “abort, abort, abort.” Kylian had to slap him on the chest for him to stop and getaway.

“My boss writes what he sees. If you don’t like what he writes, you have to change what he sees.”

“Yes, of course!” said Galtier, in an attempt to cut the tension. Kylian was staring at Taylor like he was going to attack her any time now. “Your presence here, I’m sure will help with that.”

“Her presence?” Kylian raised his eyebrows, he could feel his anger raising as he realized what the situation he walked in on actually was.

“Yes, Miss-“

“Taylor” completed the girl, like Galtier was gonna go ahead and say something different.

“Taylor, yes. She’s here to journal your trainings and your games.”

“In what capacity?” Asked Kylian narrowing his eyes. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

“Well she’s-“

“My boss wants a better look at the team of the guy that insulted him on social media. Maybe he really was wrong. But before he gets here to apologize, we wanna make sure he won’t be wasting his time.”

“Waste—” he laughed “wasting his time? Are you boys listening to this?”

“On top of that. He is writing a special article on the website. A month with Paris Saint-Germain.” Galtier explained. Giving him the true reason of her arrival.

“Yes, of course, there’s that too.”

Kylian could understand just be her look that she only said the first part to piss him off and in all honesty she had succeeded. He walked closer to the girl, looking down at her. “He shouldn’t have sent a poor girl like you down here to clean his mess.”

“You’ll find I’m not easily intimidated sir.” She shot back “But very easily provoked.” Kylian let out another bitter laugh. He backed away, if it was a man standing across him this conversation would go a completely different way but it was just a girl. So he turned his back on her, leaving. Deep down knowing nothing about her being here would be easy and this next month would be the worst.

Next chapter: Young, bored & dumb

.

Not gonna lie I'm crazy excited to start this series if this post does well. Raise your hands if you'll be reading and please please please always comment so i know what you think and if you're following the story. It helps keep the motivation to keep writing hehe.

[endless-summer-soldier]

ice ice baby - chapter ten

pairing: CollegeHockeyPlayer!Bucky x CollegeFigureSkater!Reader

summary: Bucky is a college hockey player, Y/N is a figure skater without a partner. What's happens when these two opposites start sharing the ice...

warnings: enemies to lovers trope, some alcohol use

word count: 4.3k

 taglist: @sebsgirl71479 @whiskeyrosepoetry

series playlist

series masterlist

The team stood on the ice, idling in place as a member of the university acapella group sang the national anthem. It was the first round of the playoffs and Bucky was doing his best to fight off the nerves. He caught Y/N’s eye in the stands and smiled at her, excited that she was there to support him. But her presence made him more nervous because he wanted to impress her.

As the anthem ended and the crowd broke out into applause, the team skated to the sidelines for a drink of water to prepare for the start of the game. Then, an announcement came over the PA system.

“And now we have a very special presentation honoring all our graduating seniors.”

Bucky looked up at the screen in surprise. He peered around to his teammates, but their eyes were all glued to the screen. 

The first message was from Steve’s parents, talking about how proud they were of him and wishing him luck in the game. Then Sam’s sister and his nephews appeared, smiling big and gushing over Sam. As the messages continued, Bucky wondered who his message would be from. It could be from his mother, but they weren’t terribly close. Maybe his younger sister, but he hadn’t spoken with her in a while. His question was answered a moment later when he saw Y/N’s face on the screen.

“Hey Buck,” she smiled at the camera, “I don’t know if you realize how much of an impact you have had on me over the past few months. First you swooped in and saved me by agreeing to be my partner. You persevered through my perfectionism and high standards, impressing both of us, which is when you gained my trust. And then, you pushed me outside of my comfort zone. Aside from my mother, you are the only person that has challenged me to try new things and to just stop and appreciate life every so often. Now, I’m not a very sentimental person and I’m terrible at expressing my feelings, but I mean it when I say that I love you.” 

She gave one more genuine smile at the camera and Bucky subconsciously placed his hand over his heart. He looked up to find her in the crowd and she was already peering down at him, her bottom lip wedged between her teeth. She was nervous about putting herself out there. Bucky gave her the toothiest grin and mouthed “I love you too.” She drew a heart in the air with her two pointer fingers and smiled back at him. Now he was ready to play.

In the last period, the game was tied 2-2. Bucky was playing extremely well. He had to admit, his figure skating lessons had improved his speed and technique, and his opponents weren’t ready for it. 

The clock was ticking down under the two minute mark, and something had to happen. Bucky was not letting this game go into overtime. He looked toward Coach Selvig and made a small T with his hands, signaling for a timeout. Selvig nodded and called for time as the team skated over to the bench.

“I’ve got something,” Bucky told the coach. He dropped his gloves to snag the small white board and marker, drawing out the play he had in mind. As he looked around, his teammates were nodding and Solvig held a thoughtful hand to his chin.

“That could work,” he approved. The team took one final sip of water and then the whistle called them back to the ice. Clint positioned himself in the small circle for the faceoff while everyone else circled around the ice. 

The puck dropped and Clint flicked the puck to Peter, who sped down the ice. Bucky and Steve shielded him on either side, keeping defenders out of his way. Peter looked toward the goal and took a fake shot while actually passing the puck to Sam. Sam skated around the back of the net and attempted to sneak the puck into the corner of the goal. One of the defenders saw it happening too quickly, and got a stick on the shot. The puck spun out toward Steve and he effortlessly collected it, skating around to reset the offense. Bucky gave him space, skating back towards the neutral zone to get a read on possible plays. Clint moved opposite Steve and attempted to get open, but Steve didn’t have many options. He passed the puck back to Sam when Bucky saw an opportunity. He skated in to protect Sam, planning to slam the defender into the ice. But Sam had a different idea.

He passed the puck just ahead of where Bucky was skating to and Bucky sped up to claim it. He was expecting a defender to put some pressure on him any second now, but the moment never came. Bucky continued skating to a wide open goal and found he was playing chicken with the goalie. He leaned toward the right, waiting for the goalie to shift, and as soon as he did, Bucky took a shot to the left. The shot clinked off the goalpost and flew into the back of the net. The lights flashed above the goal and Bucky glanced up at the scoreboard. With a mere 15 seconds left, this game was as good as over.

His teammates pulled him into a tight group hug and he heard the crowd going wild. The refs broke up the celebration and asked the players to reset, preparing for the final faceoff. Clint stood in the middle of the circle and easily won the puck, passing to Steve who skated in a figure eight to kill the time. The air horn blew, calling for the final time and the team celebrated once again. They shook hands with the other team and the opposition quickly filed off the ice. The fans were tossing teddy bears, scarves, and mittens onto the ice to celebrate the team. 

Solvig approached Bucky and gave him a pat on the back before letting him know the broadcast crew wanted to do a quick interview with him. He skated over to the edge of the rink and answered a few basic questions from the anchor. As much as he was loving the victory, all he could think about was Y/N. He wanted to squeeze her tight in his big arms and tell her he loved her over and over again. As he skated away, he saw her standing behind the glass, smiling at him. 

“Come here,” he mouthed and motioned. She looked toward the bench, figuring out how to get past the glass and acted before thinking. She jumped over the barrier onto the bench, and then used the little door to let herself onto the ice. She was surprised to find she didn’t even bother to consider the consequences of this action. She honestly didn’t care if she was forcibly removed from the ice, she just wanted to be with Bucky. 

She trode carefully on the ice in her boots, and Bucky did most of the work, striding toward her with little effort. 

“There you are,” he said, cupping her face with his hands.

“You were amazing. I’m so proud of you!”

“Really?” He said reflexively. It had been a long time since someone said those words to him.

“Of course. Now I can brag to anyone that will listen about my stud of a boyfriend who scored the game winning goal in the playoffs.”

He smiled and bit his bottom lip as a blush spread to his cheeks, “Oh boyfriend, huh?”

“Don’t tell me now you have a problem with labels. I just announced to this whole stadium that I love you!”

He placed a hand around her waist and leaned in close, whispering “I love labels. Almost as much as I love you.” He closed the gap between them in a passionate kiss as her hand found the back of his neck. He leaned her back into a dip and she squealed in his mouth in surprise. 

“Get a room!” Sam yelled. They separated and Bucky returned her to vertical, before telling Sam to shut up. 

“Now the real question is, how are we celebrating?”

T W O  Y E A R S  L A T E R

“I can’t believe this is really happening,” Y/N whispered to Bucky. The two were dressed head-to-toe in red and blue Ralph Lauren layers that consisted of a sweater donning the American flag, a buffalo plaid puffer, blue and red boots, and navy blue beanies with the American Olympic Committee logo. The only difference in their ensembles was that Y/N had on a pair of sleek navy leggings, while Bucky was in white snow pants.

“I feel…puffy…” she managed to say.

“Well you look adorable. You know I can’t resist you in a beanie,” he said, planting a wet kiss on her cheek.

She blushed before pushing him away, reminding him that they were about to walk out with the rest of their country representatives. It was the opening ceremonies for the Olympics and all that was required of them for tonight was to walk out with their flag, smile, and wave at the crowd. Yet this was the moment that everything hit Y/N; not only was her dream coming true, but she was doing it with Bucky at her side. 

As much as she would’ve loved to compete with Bucky, it wasn’t possible with his hockey schedule. She found another partner who skated well and was easy to work with. She still turned to Bucky for music recommendations, wanting to keep the crowd and judges on the edge of their seats.

Bucky had made the US hockey team with ease. He’d been playing in the minor league and practicing with the national team whenever warranted. He was drafted by the Boston Bruins after graduation and was scheduled to start practicing with the team following the Olympic games.

Y/N had been training in Lake Placid, which was close enough to Boston for them to see each other when they had free time. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked fine. Bucky’s latest campaign was for Y/N to move to Boston and move in with him after the Olympics. She wasn’t convinced just yet. She had to figure out what her next step was career wise. This would likely be her only Olympics but she wasn’t quite ready to hang up her skates. 

“This is it,” Bucky interrupted her thoughts and grasped her hand, as they prepared for the big stage.

She turned to him and said, “No one I’d rather have by my side.”

Y/N had her headphones in and was stretching in an attempt to release the stress she was currently harboring. She was next up to skate and was feeling more nervous than she expected. This was the biggest stage she’d ever skated on and she was trying not to let the pressure get the best of her.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find her partner Scott, smiling at her. If he was nervous, he wasn’t showing it. He asked if she was ready because they were on next and she merely nodded. The routine was great, but technically challenging. Even the slightest misstep could ruin the whole thing. She pulled herself together and followed Scott to their on deck position.

She was practicing her deep breathing to center herself when Scott nudged her arm ever so slightly. She turned to him, curiously and he merely pointed out toward the crowd. Y/N peered out into the crowd and found the entire USA hockey team seated behind the judges at the top few rows of the arena. Her mouth turned upward into a smile when she saw Bucky leading the pack with a “Y/N for Gold” poster above his head. He never ceased to amaze her. After two years of being together, he still managed to pull off the perfect surprises. The butterflies in her stomach never quite went away when he was around. He caught her gaze and gave her a thumbs up as if to say “You’ve got this.” She carefully placed her fingers to her lips and blew him a gentle kiss. Bucky caught the symbolic kiss in his fist before placing it over his heart. 

Y/N turned to Scott with a nod and said, “I’m ready.”

Everything was a blur. Y/N and Scott completed the routine, but she did so without thinking about it. It was like she was commuting to work and all the sudden she pulled into the parking lot, realizing she hadn’t paid any attention to how she got there. On ice, the specifics of the routine weren’t on her mind; she was thinking about Bucky and the first time they skated together. It was a mess, he was all over the place. And yet, they built something out of nothing. Her mind then drifted to their routine at nationals. Bucky pushed her out of her comfort zone, creating an edge over the competition she didn’t realize was possible. Being on the ice with him that day felt magical. The only time she had felt like that before was the first time she skated with her mom. Now, being here on the biggest stage imaginable, she realized that the competition didn’t matter. All that mattered was her happiness. And Bucky gave her that.

She was released from her thoughts when Scott shook her shoulders and smiled at her. She mirrored his expression before glancing up at the rankings, where she saw their names at the top of the board, claiming the highest score of the competition so far. She glanced up into the crowd and saw the US hockey team cheering wildly and all she wanted was to climb up those stands and throw her arms around Bucky. 

Before she knew it, she was standing on the podium and they were placing an Olympic gold medal around her neck. This was the moment she had dreamed about her whole life, and yet something was missing. She smiled for the cameras and teared up imagining her mother cheering her on in the afterlife, but what she really wanted was Bucky by her side.

After the medal ceremony, there were several news interviews that she took with Scott and she provided the generic responses she had mentally rehearsed in preparation for this moment. Apart from wanting to find Bucky, she really just felt relieved that all the build up to the competition was finally over. She could finally relax and enjoy being across the world with her person.

Once the press frenzy was over, Y/N and Scott retired to their dressing room, where they would collect their things and head to the dormitories. They were both emotionally drained from all the attention, but they still had smiles plastered on their faces.

As soon as they opened the door, Y/N first noticed the “Y/N for Gold” sign propped up against the vanity and then she found Bucky sitting in her chair, phone out but head turned toward her. In a millisecond, he was up and had Y/N spinning off the ground in his arms.

“There’s my superstar!” he gushed, squeezing her as tight as he could. “You crushed it out there, Ace!”

When he put her down, he greeted Scott with a fist bump and complimented him on a flawless routine. Scott quickly collected his things and announced that he would head back so that they could have some time alone with each other, much to the couple’s appreciation.

Y/N nuzzled into Bucky’s shoulder, happy to be in his arms again.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“Watching you skate today took my breath away. I’ve seen you skate before, but it’s different being with you on the ice. I was always focused more on what my next move was. But tonight, I was able to focus all my attention on you and you were absolutely incredible. I love that I was able to be here to see years of hard work pay off. I am so unbelievably proud of you.” He kissed the top of her head and pulled her in closer.

His words were so genuine and kind that she didn’t know how to react. The only thing she could manage back was, “I love you so much.” She pulled her head off his shoulder and planted a sweet kiss on his lips. As they separated, Bucky held her eyes for a moment and he never felt so connected or so in love. 

“You know what, fuck it,” he muttered to himself. Y/N looked at him, confused, and it was only when he held her hands and got down on one knee did she realize what was happening.

“I had a whole plan for how I was going to do this. We were going to go out to a beautiful dinner on a yacht and the server would bring out a chocolate mousse for dessert and right on top would be the ring. But something about this moment just feels right. You’re standing in front of me in your team USA tracksuit with a gold medal around your neck and all I can think about is how desperately I want to marry you. And please know I don’t want to overshadow your Olympic victory at all, I just can’t spend another day calling you my girlfriend when I want you to be my fiance. So, Y/F/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?”

The tears had started dropping before he was finished. It wasn’t until Bucky lifted his eyebrows that she realized she hadn’t responded.

“Yes, absolutely yes. I would love to marry you.”

He nearly jumped up from his knee to pick her up and smother her with kisses. 

“I love you so much. Did I say that? I don’t think I said that,” Bucky rambled.

“I know Bucky. I love you too.”

He carefully put her down and slid the ring onto her delicate finger.

“Can we still go to dinner on the yacht? Because that sounds really lovely.”

He chuckled, “Hell yeah we’re still doing that. Now we have a reason to celebrate.”

“Okay good. We should get out of here though, you have a big game tomorrow.”

“Yeah okay, but only if you stay and cuddle with me tonight.”

“Now you know I can’t say no to my fiance,” she smiled up at him. He planted a kiss on her head before they collected her things and headed out.

Y/N was seated in the stands, a few rows behind the team, dressed in her team USA gear. The hockey team was warming up to face Canada, a major rival in Olympic hockey. USA and Canada had a history of facing each other in the gold medal game, and this year was no different. She sat there, twisting her engagement ring in an attempt to calm her nerves. Bucky was so close to achieving his goal and she wanted it so badly for him. He was the reason all her dreams came true and he deserved to win something too.

“Excuse me, are you Y/N?” An older man approached her side with a woman who she assumed was his wife. 

“Yes, I am,” she responded.

He extended his hand, “Hi, I’m Joe Rogers and this is my wife, Sarah. We’re Steve’s parents.”

Her expression changed from confused to delight, “Oh, hi! So great to meet you.”

“We’ve heard a lot about you,” Sarah said. 

“Likewise! I should probably thank you for all the support you’ve shown Bucky. He’s spoken so highly about you both and I know he wouldn’t be here today without you.”

“He’s always been a good kid, he just fell into the wrong group. Watching him grow up to be a wonderful young man has been priceless,” Joe said. It warmed my heart that they spoke so highly of Bucky.

“How lucky are we that our Stevie and James both made the team!” Sarah exclaimed. 

“Those two are inseparable. I don’t think they would’ve been able to function being apart for this long,” Y/N added. On top of both making the USA team, they had both been drafted by the Bruins.

Sarah and Joe chuckled and they continued chatting like old friends, keeping Y/N’s mind off her game day nerves. But that only lasted until the opening face off; once the puck was in play, she started twisting her ring again.

Into the third period, the score was 0-0. Both teams were playing extremely well on both sides of the ice, and both goalies saved several shots on goal. While Bucky and Steve were both playing really well, they had nothing to show for it on the scoreboard. It was easy to see why the two had been drafted together; they had a connection on the ice that was telepathic, each knowing exactly where the other was and what they were thinking.

And then, out of nowhere, Canada scored a goal. It happened so quickly that Y/N nearly missed it. One of the players took a shot on the goal and the puck skimmed one of his teammates skates, changing the angle ever so slightly that the goalie didn’t pick up on. It was rotten luck, but sometimes that happened in ice hockey.

There were only three minutes left in the game, but that was more than enough time. It only took a few seconds to score, but the team would have to keep the puck on the offensive side of the ice. Team USA pulled their goalie and added another man on the ice, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference if Canada scored again. 

They did a great job moving the puck around and clearing out space for their teammates, but the goalie stopped every attempt at a goal. This didn’t discourage the team, as they continued to attack on offense, but as the clock ticked down, the reality of the situation was setting in. The final buzzer rang and team Canada circled up in a big group hug. Y/N watched Bucky look up at the scoreboard before hanging his head in defeat.

“They put up such a good fight. At least they can be proud of how they played,” Sarah said. Y/N nodded, agreeing with her statement but knowing Bucky would still be crushed.

“A silver medal is still a great accomplishment,” Joe added.  

Both teams took off their helmets and lined up on the ice to receive their medals. The Canadians were all smiles while the Americans put on a brave face, but the disappointment was evident behind their eyes. Y/N couldn’t help but tear up a little when Bucky received his silver medal. It wasn’t exactly the outcome they wanted, but she was still incredibly proud of him for coming this far and never giving up.

Once the medal ceremony was over, both teams retreated to the locker room. Joe and Sarah asked Y/N if she wanted to go with them to meet Steve but she passed, knowing Bucky would want some space to process everything before socializing. She sat in the empty arena and watched the zamboni smooth the ice, wondering what she could say to cheer up Bucky.

Once a sufficient amount of time had passed, Y/N wandered out of the arena to find the locker rooms. She poked her head behind the door labeled Team USA and found silence. She took that as a sign to continue and wandered through the rows of lockers, looking for her fiance. She found him lying on the bench, staring at the ceiling tiles, recently showered and dressed in his team USA track suit.

“Hey you,” she said, taking a seat next to his head. Her hands instinctively found their way to the side of his face and she started lightly playing with his hair.

He didn’t say anything, but his eyes floated upwards to find her. 

“Let me see it,” she demanded.

“See what?”

“Your medal!”

“It’s not as cool as yours,” he said, handing her the silver medal that had been tucked in his palm.

“Honestly, this will make for a more interesting display in the house. We’ve got two out of three!.”

“It’s not even about the medal. Or losing for that matter.”

“What’s it about then?”

He let out a deep exhale before he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bench so he was almost facing her.

“When you won that gold medal, I felt so full. I was proud of you and I was grateful that I was there to witness your achievement. And I wanted you to feel that way today with me. I wanted to see you smiling in the crowd as they put the gold medal around my neck.”

He hung his head and Y/N leaned into his shoulder and grabbed his hands.

“Bucky, I had that moment today. Despite my best efforts, I cried a little bit when you received your medal. Of course I am proud of you. I’m proud of you for just making it to the Olympics. Winning a medal is even more amazing. And most of all, I’m proud that you never gave up. You left everything you had out there on the ice. I know you didn’t get the outcome you expected, but there is still so much that you should be proud of.”

He turned to her, “How do you always know the perfect thing to say?” 

She placed a hand on his cheek, “Because I know you Buck. And I love you more than anything.”

He leaned into her and they shared a kiss that embodied their emotional connection. When the moment felt right, Y/N stood up and held her hand out for Bucky. He took it without hesitation and the two walked hand in hand out of the locker room.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get your gold medal,” she offered, as her final words of comfort.

“Don’t be sorry, I’ve got my gold medal right here.”  

[fruity-fruition]

Assigning Disney songs and small analysis on why to Wondershow pairings!!

(boycott Disney literally please never stop. Pirate EVERYTHING they have FUCK Disney they're literally the worst EVILL evil corporation it's not even funny. but their stories and songs are iconic unfortunately)

Ruikasa: I See The Light (Tangled)

It's a song about discovering what it means to dream, and realizing how much your world has changed so drastically after the right person enters your life.

"All these years, chasing down a daydream. All those days, living in a blur. All that time, never truly seeing things the way they were"

TELL ME. TELL ME THAT ISN'T TSUKASA PRE-WXS. Him NOT knowing what he's doing, striving for a blurry dream he's stumbling to achieve. BEFORE MEETING WXS, in this specific case, Rui.

"All at once, everything looks different, now that I see you"

How Rui's entire view of friendship and life in general changed the moment Tsukasa officially invites and begs him back into the group. Hear me OUT.

Nenekasa: A Whole New World (Aladdin)

A song of one person showing and exposing the other to a new and exciting world, one filled with wonder.

Tsukasa pulled Nene out of her shell, and basically challenged her. While all her friends are her stepping stone, it's Tsukasa that pushed her into the world of stardom. A world she so desperately wants to achieve.

He's a competition to her, a friend, and also a motivation to keep getting better. She overcomes a lot of her fears with her rivalry of sorts with him, wanting to be an equal and improve just as much. She's brought to the spotlight, indirectly because of him. A whole new world she's just introduced to.

"A dazzling place I never knew. But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear, that now I'm in a whole new world with you"

THE TWO STARS OF WONDERSHOW. IN THE SKIES TOGETHER.

Emurui: Love is an open door (Frozen)

Ok, I know this is TECHNICALLY a manipulative and villain song, BUT NOT TO ME IN THIS CONTEXT. Just two, absolutely silly doofuses goofing around and being equally stupid.

I don't have much logical explanation for this except for silly and also it matches their vibes SOO WELL. With Emu thinking nearly as insanely as Rui, and both of them being whimsical in nature. It makes the

"I mean it's crazy"

"What?"

"We finish each other's s-"

"sandwiches!!"

"That's what I was gonna say!"

More so their brainwave being THAT goofy and in line with each other rather than a manipulative tactic the song was trying to do.

"I never met someone who thinks so much like me!"

YEAHHHHHH

I don't have the energy to keep analysing right now but I'll drop the other two and explain later if I don't forget and die.

Ruinene: Something There (Beauty and the Beast)

Emukasa: I DONT KNOW I DESPERATELY TRIED IF ANYONE HAS ANY IDEAS SHARE I LOVE EMUKASA BUT I WAS DYING.

Emunene: I won't say I'm in Love (Hercules) ORR THE LESBIAN ANTHEM Kiss The Girl (The Little Mermaid)

[mxlfoydraco]

Hello, do you have Drarry Fic Recs centered around Christmas or the Holiday Season? :) Love your blog, best regards

Apparently, I know more Christmas fics than I thought I would? Considering that I'm not a Christmas person at all lmao. Another caveat that I took a 2 year hiatus, several friends have written advent/holidays fics but I'm not very up to date!

Humbug (A Christmas Tale) by Snegurochka (80k)

Draco has been taking his casual relationship with Harry for granted. Visits from four key ghosts the night before Christmas just might shake up his priorities in life.

All Roads Lead Home by dracogotgame (14k)

Draco is strong-armed into spending the first Christmas after the War with the Weasleys. And Harry Potter.

The Safe House by emmagrant01 (10k)

Aurors Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are forced to spend Christmas together in a safe house. Bet you can guess what happens. ;-)

A Lick and a Promise by @tackytigerfic (55k)

Something sinister stirs in Hogwarts! When magical creatures and students at the school are hit with a debilitating blood curse, Minerva McGonagall approaches the Ministry for help. Star Auror Harry Potter seems to be the obvious choice to go undercover—as DADA Professor, naturally. He’s going to need the help of the Ministry’s foremost expert in blood magic to get to the bottom of the mystery, though, and he’s not entirely convinced that going back to Hogwarts with Draco Malfoy is a good idea. Things are complicated between them—what’s new?—but they know they have to learn to work together (and keep their hands off each other in the corridors) in order to solve this case. Luckily for them, Hogwarts itself wants to lend a hand. A tale of love, lessons, and learning to really live.

Un Noël très parisien by @femmequixotic and @noeeon (14k)

When Draco crossed paths with Auror Potter at a political function in Paris, he was not expecting their former animosity to change into something rather more intriguing. But he could be certain their casual flirtation would not last more than the night, couldn't he?

The Light More Beautiful by @firethesound (81k)

Thirteen years after Draco accepts Potter's help escaping the horror of his sixth year, he returns to England where he makes the unfortunate discovery that Potter is still as obnoxious as ever. And worse, more than a decade overseas hasn't been enough to dim Draco's obsession with him.

And a Malfoy in a Pear Tree by lauren3210 (7k)

Draco works in a coffee shop. Harry drops by every day to get his fix. Of coffee, Ron.

Settle in in my slow-burning heart - orphaned (10k)

"So maybe it really actually starts like this: Draco is gifted a truly horribly ugly Christmas jumper by his mother, and is guilt-tripped into wearing it at work. Apparently Harry takes the hideousness of the jumper to mean that Draco is okay with receiving terribly ugly things for presents, because the next time he’s abroad – in bloody Chicago – he brings back an eagle with the American flag on its back that is capable of singing the first three lines of the American anthem if you press it on the stomach back for Draco." __ Five years after the war Draco is working a tech developer job in the Auror Office, and it's all great except this one thing: Harry Potter works there, too. Things only become stranger when Harry starts bringing Draco ugly souvenirs back from his work travels. When Harry then shows up injured in Draco's flat, Draco considers the possibility that he's going insane.

Anatomy of a Wolf Heart by @clytemenestras (40k)

MALFOY HEIR FOUND ALIVE IN WEREWOLF FIGHTING RING Three years ago at the tragic Battle that freed our great Wizarding World from the grip of a megalomaniac Dark Wizard, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, our world lost many Witches and Wizards. Among the dead and missing was Draco Malfoy, the only son of notorious Death Eaters Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, both of whom volunteered their home for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to use as a headquarters. Sources have confirmed that the young Malfoy took a vow to follow in his parents footsteps by taking the Dark Mark. Inside sources have uncovered that the Malfoy heir has been found alive. Aurors recently went undercover to expose a fighting ring involving illegal potions and unregistered werewolves. Among those rescued was Draco Malfoy.

It’s No Great Mystery by @agentmoppet (57k)

Who on earth decided that bringing back the Yule Ball for their eighth year would be a good idea? It feels like the worst day of Harry’s life, watching everyone get glammed up like the war never happened, like the last Triwizard Tournament wasn’t such a colossal failure. And then it happens again. And again. And again.

come with me into the light by @tryslora (21k)

Everything has changed by the time Harry returns to Hogwarts for his second attempt at his final year. He no longer wears glasses, he mourns dead friends from the war, and Draco Malfoy walks the halls as if he is a ghost as well. When Pansy asks Harry to help snap Malfoy out of his silence, what else is he supposed to say? Malfoy needs to be saved, and that's just what Harry does.

The One Where Everybody Finds Out by @slytherco (8k)

Prompt: "That’s mistletoe we’re standing under.”

---

Remember those few legendary F.R.I.E.N.D.S. episodes where Chandler and Monica thought they were SUPER sneaky with their relationship but all their friends found out one after another? Well, here's just that - in Drarry flavour.

Come Back to Me by Sophie_French (28k)

Lily Malfoy-Potter could ask Father Christmas many things: a beautiful doll with glittering pink and purple robes, a stuffed kneazle just like her cousin Rose’s or even a colour-changing diadem like the princesses in the bedtime stories her Papa tells her. But she won’t. No, this year, she will only ask for one thing: for her Papa and Daddy to get back together and be happy again. She just can’t wait.

A Room Up There (And You In It) by @the-starryknight (59k)

When Preservationist Draco Malfoy was assigned to work on Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, he was excited to delve into the gorgeous Black family antiques. His excitement quickly ended when something in the House decided it did not like his presence one bit. Featuring a grumpy antiques lover who most certainly did not sign up for this, encounters with a vengeful apparition, and a healthy application of Christmas spirit.

A Melody of You & Me by @academicdisasterfic (64k)

Draco Malfoy has a Christmas choir competition to win, and Harry Potter has an orphanage that needs funding. When Luna Lovegood intervenes, they agree to help each other out: Harry will join the choir if Draco chooses to sponsor his charity. But agreeing to work together also means getting to know each other again - in new and unexpected ways. Ft. a chaotic festive choir, scheming friends, a healthy dose of mental health issues, one very irritating ex, and boys learning how to love and be loved.

All I Want For Christmas (Is For You To Stop Talking) by @femmequixotic and @noeeon (162k)

The Niffler's Garden is the most prestigious wizarding nursery school in England and has been for the last century or more. Harry Potter's boys are both enrolled as pupils at the Garden. When he volunteers to assist with the Yule pageant, he has no idea that he'll be working closely with another parent, Draco Malfoy. Although they haven't seen each other much since their own school days, Harry faults Malfoy for not being a hands-on dad to little Scorpius. Will the intense weeks of preparation fan the fires of enmity or something else entirely? Warnings: Background discussion of divorce, coming out, parenting, very brief mention of difficult pregnancy.

All Must Draw Near by Saras_Girl (61k)  

Harry doesn't have time for rumours; he has a shop to run. Which is just as well, really.

The Light That is Blinding Me by @acciotomriddle (22k)

After Flourish and Blotts stop stocking the books of Harry’s favourite author, he is directed to a queer bookshop and discovers it’s owned by none other than Draco Malfoy, who has more in common with Harry than either of them realise.

[14carrotghoul]

Fic Pride Weekend

Rules: Post your favourite line or passage from as many of your published works as you’d like. Let yourself feel proud of your creations! Tag as many people as you post snippets, so your fellow fic friends can be proud, too.

Thank you to @cha-melodius for tagging me! Have added so many of y'all's wonderful fics to my list from this tag game so I wanna see what y'all are proudest of! Tagging @read-and-write- @dumbpeachjuice @sherryvalli @cultofsappho

@happiness-of-the-pursuit @suseagull04 @indomitable-love @tintagel-or-cockleshells @welcometololaland

@orchidscript @xthelastknownsurvivorx @inexplicablymine @junebugclaremontdiaz @myheartalivewrites and anyone else that wants to share their personal favorites!!!!

Déjame Ver Cómo Es Que Floreces 

[...]Thirdly, and most importantly, the music that’s playing is his music, not some flowery French waltz. These are songs that he’s heard since before he could talk. Songs that remind him of Saturday drives with his dad hunting down their favorite flavors of Helados at several grocery stores (mamey for his dad; pecan for himself). Of cleaning with his grandmother when she babysat until she dropped everything to watch her novelas. Smearing masa on corn husks until his fingers went pruny on Christmas Eve. Raucous birthday parties that are responsible for his well-earned anxiety near bouncy castles.

Solo Déjame Estar Junto a Ti

Alex nods decisively and says, “H, you are my choice and the absolute love of my life. I love you and I love your heart and I love your mind and I love the way you’re about to freak the fuck out when I say you have bewitched me, body and soul – ” he pauses because Henry’s chest positively heaves with a sob “ – and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.” His smile widens and he opens the box. “Henry Fox, will you marry me?

True Blue

Henry wades further into the ocean, the Ionian lapping gently against his ribs before he tugs Alex closer and cradles him, whispering poetry in his ear, all sun-kissed skin and besotted smiles; his own private sun tucked safely in his embrace, nourishing him with his endless blaze.

Henry helps. Of course he helps but he's not always enough to cut through his cyclone of a brain; he hasn't been around when he fucks up and cracks under the pressure and spirals into panic attacks and unwise pulls of Maker's Mark straight from the bottle. Henry is there, holding him and helping him breathe and it makes him love him so much more for staying and fear far more deeply because eventually everyone leaves. Henry insists he never will but he doesn't get it he doesn't get it he doesn't get it. He is so alone and he is never alone - not as long as he's getting secretly photographed by fellow students at the library or being blasted on Fox News as their latest scapegoat for everything wrong with America or taking selfies with a barista when all he wants is a triple shot mocha and a fucking break.

Impossible to Ignore, Impossible to Ignore 

His brain is a perpetual maelstrom of immigration law and prayers in Nahuatl and stupid shit like Fergie singing the national anthem. It never shuts the fuck up. However, just being in Henry's presence makes everything else fade away. Wait… FUCK.  Henry looks away, alerting Alex to the fact that he's been staring at him in silence like a total weirdo. For good reason, though, because even though he never entertained the idea that he's into guys, Henry's face - even when exhausted and gray - is inarguable proof of a higher power. Like aurora borealis or the first time he heard Dreams by The Cranberries.

A Love That Haunts the Land [I am particularly proud of the bonkers plot and characterization in this, especially Pez and Raf, but also Nora's introduction below fills me with so much fucking joy]

Alex lives with his best friend/ex-girlfriend/sister-in-law Nora, who Henry meets for the first time while half-naked (and not the half he would've preferred).  She waltzes into the flat with a mischievous glint in her eye, slides onto the couch with them, and steals the remote for their sound system without saying a word. A few seconds later, she's blasting “WAP” and brutally murdering whatever shred remained of the mood while Henry clutches a throw pillow between his legs and begs desperately for the ever-so-elusive release of death. "Do you, like, mind?" Alex yells over the mantra of there’s some whores in this house.

two homes (side by side) 

His deep laugh kicks with the power of a bucking bronco, taking the whole room into hysterics with him – especially if the little ones are around (and they are always around). Abuelo Alex warms the space and fills it with grand and irreverent energy. He weaves tales so magical the kids don't believe him until one of them will chirp, “Is it true, Grandpa Henry?” And he nods sagely, if only to hear them gasp with delight.

Tiempo de Vals 

Before they call it and head back, Alex warns, "FYI, June has a crush on the other guys in the court that aren't related to her. So - you know - you're in the danger zone." "That won't be a problem." Henry blushes again (seriously, does this guy have a condition?) which makes it harder to believe him. "June's not the type of person I'm interested in, and she knows it." Alex half-jokes, "Why not? Are you racist or something?" "I'm gay," Henry answers with an amused huff. Without missing a beat, Alex kisses his teeth in mock disappointment and drawls, "Dodging the question, I see." Henry rolls his eyes and can't help but smile. "You're a menace." "Well, you're not beating the racism allegations with that attitude."

[hearts-hunger]

i'm trying to write out the highlights of last night without crying and/or just giving a play by play of the entire show, but here are my thoughts about starcatcher opening night 🩷

- seeing them standing all together when the curtain dropped was earth-shattering to me. i can't even tell you the amount of joy and excitement and emotion i felt seeing them like that.

- every single song from starcatcher was ten times better live. which means that the songs i didn't like before i love now, and the songs i liked already i have now sold my soul to.

- jake's outfit had me in a chokehold. could not stop talking about how hot he looked.

- josh coming out in the LA strange horizons outfit almost killed me, and then he was singing mtm on the catwalk under that spotlight, and he looked like an actual angel. like, otherworldly.

- nash strange horizons outfit my beloved :') that was my first gvf show and it was so special to have him wear that again!!

- jake and josh playing with the spotlights and goofing around and running back and forth on stage 😭 and sammy and jake playing back and forth on the bass and guitar 😭

- when josh said “before, tonight was just a dream; tonight, it is a dream come true” he is truly the sweetest most darling most precious boy ever

- josh said they might have some mistakes with the set (as he said, “what we in the business call fuck-ups”) and they did, i thought jake looked a little pissed at one point because his guitar was out of tune hehe but they recovered smoothly and made it a great show

- heat above was like a warm hug. the very first time i heard it was live, and that was a really good time of my life when i was first getting into gvf, and being able to sing it again with josh and everyone was like coming home to a place i had really missed.

- lover leaver???? when i tell you i could not have been more shocked. we shrieked and sang the whole thing.

- the only part i didn’t love was that everybody's attention was distracted during danny's solo, because everybody was watching the b stage instead of him. he killed it, and i loved his cute little dramatic swoosh to direct our attention to the b stage.

- the b stage being like a campfire sing along, sam piano, unchained melody, danny and jake joining them, danny guitar - unparalleled. it was so intimate and lovely, like getting a glimpse into the close bond they share with each other.

- anthem and flower power are like my white whales of gvf live songs, and i can't believe i got to hear one of them. i cried. we all cried.

- danny and josh singing woyaya together was probably my favorite moment of the whole night. there was something really tender about the two of them, big brother and little brother, singing harmony to josh’s special song. now it’s danny and josh’s special song :')

- the rainbow we did for josh during light my love, and the swaying together and singing, and josh getting emotional afterwards? devastating, truly.

- shirtless josh????? need i say more

- every time jake went towards the catwalk, he smiled. he's the cutest. he was so confident and happy and just glowing with it.

- also, the archer (extended version) ????? were those new lyrics?? i couldn't make out what was singing but we were freaking out

- we were like four rows away from the catwalk, and seeing jake and danny walk by to get back to the big stage was like “oh holy fuck they're real??”

- the stars and sparkles and fireworks and just everything about the stage setup was so magical and wonderful

- “farewell for now” felt really personal, like josh really meant that they had tried hard to make it a special night for us and were so happy to share it with us, and we meant it too when we sang it back. i love farewell for now as a tour tradition song that we and the boys are singing to each other.

i'll probably think of more, but for right now, those were the high points of the show for me. it was my third gvf show and absolutely the best one so far. it really felt like i was being welcomed home, like a reminder that life is full of joy and magic and music. it really was like seeing old friends and being asked to stay and talk a while. i'm so happy just to exist in the same time as josh, jake, sam, and danny. it's such a privilege to share in the magic of their imaginations, to be invited to sing and celebrate with them, to really know that they love us and we love them. everything about this show was a love letter, from them to us and from us back to them, and i’m so thankful to have been able to share that love with them and everybody who has been seen and shown love through their music 🩷

[mschanelbag]

( chanel ) had always been open to whatever most people had to say in interview spaces, being the open minded person she was. however, unfortunately for the co-hosts of ( podcrushed ), she instructed her team to hand them her reasonable list of interview dos and don’ts before arriving to the new york studio. her last interview left a sour taste in her mouth when asked about a certain someone she had no interest in giving time of day, resulting in a list of restrictions:

DON’TS.

nicki minaj vs cardi b/megan thee stallion.

men she’s been seen with.

romantic relationships.

SPICE.

any rap beef.

najee hardaway.

entering the studio with a bashfully charming smile placed across her face, ( chanel ) sweetly waved at the hosts using two hands. on a high from the rush that was new york city, she was nothing short of excited to sit down and speak with ( penn badgley ) and his co-hosts. “hi, you guys! thank you for having me.” she spoke with sincerity laced in her relaxed tone, discovering comfort in her seat while adjusting her headset and microphone to her likeness. “it’s truly a delight to have you here with us today. i mean, you’re a woman of many jobs, so thank you for fitting us into your schedule.” they shared a laugh, room exuding positive energy from all parties.

“speaking of many jobs, i feel like it’s only right we dive in to your most recent project—the icy life. for those who don’t know, saweetie recently announced a brand new reality show that’ll be exclusively streamed on hulu. from my understanding, we’re the first to have you speak on it, so tell us a little bit about that.” ( penn ) rolled out the red carpet of opportunity for his guest to take the chance to promote her series. “well, yes. i’m super excited, because reality tv was such a huge thing when i was growing up, and i’ve always been a fan. plus, my fans have always wanted to see what my life is like outside of social media—so with the proper backing and support from hulu, i plan on giving them a glimpse of my world.”

“i think it makes sense for you because you’ve always been a content girly. like, from the instagram reels and your brief vlogging era on youtube, a reality show was meant for talents like yourself. we were literally just watching your reenactment of sex in the city just now. so just know, i’ll be tuning in.” ( sophie ) chimed in with support. “thank you, girl.” she responded with a smile, pink acrylics fluffing out the ends of her bundles. “i one-hundred percent agree. what can we expect from the show? do you think fans will be shocked by how you live your every day life?” her eyes lit up when thinking of her response, enjoying this new era of her career, and what else was to come with it. “hm. honestly, yes, but maybe no? i think so, ‘cause when people see icy, they see the glitz and glam, and assume that’s all i am. however, behind the makeup and the music and the social media posts—i’m a real person with real feelings and i go through real things like everyone else. i’m fortunate to have this platform, but i’m human and i hope that’s what the audience is able to perceive.”

“it feels intentional that you choose to be vocal about the reality of your life from the early days of your adulthood to now. i think it’s a true testament to your character, feeding your listeners gems such as ‘my best’ and ‘richtivities’ where you manifest the luxury of existing in your most authentic form—and/or aspiring to better your lifestyle. was that the formula for your newest release, ‘is it the way’? ( chanel ) couldn’t help but smirk at the wordy dialogue, enjoying the research and knowledge of the interviewers. she confirmed with a nod. “i think ‘is it the way’ is a mature version of my older sound. i dropped it a week apart from ‘my best’ because it kinda’ continues the feel-good anthem in a way. it has a hint of manifestations and the yearning for more out of this life, but it’s also just sexy and makes you feel good. it’s a confidence booster, for sure. i think it sets the tone for a girls night out.”

“ah. that makes sense. can we expect more of this sound heading into the rollout of your debut album?” “i’d like to think so. it’s been received well by my fans, so i let them do the talking for me. i plan on having a plethora of sounds on the album though. i’m singing a lot more, as you can hear from this last release. or even ‘nani’.” ( chanel ) wanted to give as much album details as she could without getting in trouble with her label.

* the foursome proceeded with an informative discussion of all-things icy girl: life as an only child, graduating from usc, being discovered within a year of rapping, dream brand deals, and much more. be sure to tune in to ‘the icy life’ october 14th—only on hulu. *

[withhertea]

Maisie Peters: coming of age

With heartfelt songs of crushes and overcoming heartbreak on her number one album 'The Good Witch', 23-year-old Maisie Peters deftly captures the agony and ecstasy of youth. Here, she discusses her friendship with Ed Sheeran, the ups and downs of being online, and how she mines her personal life for inspiration.

By Charlotte Manning

It is Halloween when I sit down to chat with Maisie Peters. It almost feels too perfect a time to take a deep dive in and around her summer album release The Good Witch, packed full of spooky connotations and an exploration into, well, witchery. She promises that “some effort” is going into the costumes for tonight’s Bristol gig, teasing: “You’ll have to just wait and see.” 

This is a pop star who is used to being very much online. She’s wearing a non-serious T-shirt bearing Robert Pattinson’s face, and one of the first things I’m shown is a cat meme that I — also chronically online — have seen dozens of times before. “It’s been the most mental year of my life,” laughs Peters. “Everyone keeps joking that my eyes are getting smaller and smaller. I’m giving… Have you seen that cat meme? It’s like, ‘I’m awake, but at what cost?’ (She quickly searches for it on her phone.) This is what I’m giving right now. I sit across from people and give this tired cat that says, ‘Awake, but at what cost?’ And that is me.”

The 23-year-old is the recipient of The Breakthrough Award, supported by Volvo, at the first Rolling Stone UK Awards. It’s a category stacked full of young, rapidly emerging talent, including names such as Olivia Dean, Shygirl and Wunderhorse. But it’s Maisie who is this year’s stand-out. She played Glastonbury’s Pyramid Stage the day her second album dropped, and when it quickly shot to number one in the UK Official Charts, Peters became the youngest female act to achieve this feat in nearly a decade, plus her UK tour culminated in a sold-out date at Wembley Arena. It doesn’t really get better than that, does it?

“We drove into Glastonbury and listened to the album; it had just come out, it was really cool and special,” she recalls. While her gigs often feel like a party, she had even more to celebrate this time around. Peters and her band stayed in a very apt “fairy-castle hotel” near the world-famous festival and decided to simply spend the album-release weekend living their best lives at Worthy Farm. “We played the show. It was kind of crazy because the new album came out that day. Imagine working on your job, and it’s the biggest weekend of the year? All systems go. This was the biggest week we were going to have. 

As I approach the O2 Academy Bristol via a slightly dodgy backstreet later that rainy evening, there are hundreds of buzzing fans queuing, who, like me, are largely girls in their twenties. I end up feeling pretty under-dressed in my reliable straight-cut jeans and ribbed crop-top gig combo. As I enter, it’s clear that under the sea of raincoats and umbrellas, a lot of preparation has gone into these outfits. A mixture of Halloween fancy dress (mainly witch costumes, of course), alongside pleated miniskirts with Y2K-style “baby tees” (concocted by Peters, which she often dons on tour) are there to greet me. This (now very signature) look came “very naturally” to her: “I thought it would be fun if we made little baby tees with lyrics on before the album came out, to tease at the shows. People were like, ‘Oh, my God, Maisie Peters has done another baby tee.’ Then people also started making their own. I thought, ‘Well, this is cute, this is a thing!’ So, I kept doing it. People started making their own, and it became almost like a little uniform for this album. To me, that’s what style is — it should be easy, and you should just feel good.”

At one point, the crowd scream the words to ‘Mr Perfectly Fine’ by Taylor Swift as the excitement builds. I somehow feel I’ve missed the memo on this being a collective anthem among fans, but it makes a lot of sense. Swift, Peters says, is an artist she’s “extremely honoured” to be often compared to as her star only continues to rise. “I love the music that she makes. I love her records; they’re all so important to me. I’m really, really honoured to be compared to her, and to be thought of in the same frame of mind, in anyone’s mind, as her. She’s a big inspiration of mine,” she says. 

From seamless guitar changes to refreshingly honest interactions with fans (“There’s nothing scarier than my romantic history… ghosts, demons, clowns. This year, I graduated from clown university”), the singer proves throughout the evening to be an absolute master of the crowd, a skill she’s no doubt developed in spades after spending time on tour with her ‘boss’, Ed Sheeran. 

After signing with Sheeran’s Gingerbread Man Records back in 2021, Peters has now released both albums under his label. The pair have a strong friendship, and she recounts an afternoon they spent watching Star Wars movies earlier this year during “the craziest one-day trip of my life” in New York. 

“We did America, Australia, New Zealand, UK, Europe… It was crazy,” she says of the experience. “I learned so much. I see videos of myself from the first Irish shows, where we began, and it feels like a different lifetime, a different version of myself. I just felt like a different person before this year. I’m so grateful that he took me around the world and believed in me.”

To nobody’s surprise, she marks her territory as the “number one Ed Sheeran fan in the world”. It would be hard to argue with that claim at this point. “He’s so generous and kind, and he’s really talented, and he’s smart,” she continues. “It’s a privilege to get to tour with somebody like that, someone that’s also just so good as a human being. It’s the easiest and the best thing because he’s so lovely.” 

Sheeran would later appear at her Wembley show to perform his own breakthrough hit ‘Lego House’ together in a gorgeous full-circle moment: “He let me play his Wembley, so I figured I should let him play mine,” she tells the crowd on her final night. This is a sentiment she jokes about again during her Rolling Stone UK cover shoot, teasing: “It’s great to be able to support up-and-coming artists.” 

At her Rolling Stone UK cover shoot, Peters’ warm persona lights up the room. She takes turns to chat to everyone in between being snapped, and answers questions to camera with ease, often checking the prompting notes she’s made on her phone. The soundtrack of the day is purely Girls Aloud — later that day it’s confirmed the group will be having a revival. How perfectly… witchy. 

Speaking of witchiness, sophomore album The Good Witch was written about a surprisingly short period in Peters’ life, and its contents again prove how well she can connect with her audience. “I really do write for the girls,” she observes. “I really made a whole album based on a relationship that lasted for one month and maybe two weeks.” The record is a painfully familiar look into the heartbreak, frustration and unpredictability of a short-lived romance, yet she provides drops of joy and growth in equal measure, meaning a sense of hope always remains at the core, never allowing the sadness to win. “I wrote this album about that time in my life. It depicts the same six months with, give or take, a few different songs.” 

But she doesn’t always write that way: “As I get older, I’ve tended to draw on my own life more frequently, but that’s not necessarily always chronologically accurate. I’ll write about something that happened four years ago like it was yesterday — it doesn’t matter to me. I am The Good Witch; I make what I want out of the things that are happening.” Peters has also remained adept at turning fleeting moments into the basis of a whole track. In 2022 fan-favourite release ‘Cate’s Brother’, she recalls meeting her housemate’s brother for the first time and quickly developing a huge crush. This led to intense lyrics, “And my heart went ‘Love him, he’s the one, and we shall wed,’” she sings.

The album and its subsequent deluxe version —released in October — touch on literary inspirations, including influences from the world of Greek mythology and fantasy, alongside a dose of religious imagery too. ‘The History of Man’ is a prime example, dotted with Biblical references: “So Samson blamed Delilah…”. Elsewhere, ‘In Guy on A Horse’, one of the deluxe tracks, Peters compares herself to Joan of Arc, depicting an elevated version of herself, as she criticises an ex-partner’s habit of looking down from his high horse.

“It wasn’t conscious. I wasn’t mood-boarding all my different literary inspirations or anything like that,” she explains, but there is an element to The Good Witch that acts as a conceptual album of sorts. “I got to write in that universe, which I loved. ‘The History of Man’ has some Greek mythology in it, and then ‘Wendy’ is essentially about Peter Pan. I was dancing around these universes.” 

Gender is another theme very present throughout much of the record, with Peters viewing her journey between debut You Signed Up for This to The Good Witch as “giving girl-to-woman”, having done a lot of growing in the past two years. “There are a lot of threads and themes that look at gender and in what it is to identify as a woman and what it is to know men, which sounds a bit dramatic,” she says. “It’s funny because if you were to count the most used words in The Good Witch, they are the words ‘obsessed’ and the word ‘man’. I don’t know what that reflects about me, but it’s something to think about…”

The extended album closes with gorgeously nostalgic ‘The Last One’, which very nearly made it into You Signed Up for This. “‘The Last One’, I wrote for my first album, but right at the end, so it didn’t make it. It feels like such a closing track. But ‘Tough Act’ became the closing track on my first album, so that was done [and] dusted.” She believes some songs can have extremely specific destinies in that they must be placed at certain points on a record “or it’s not going to happen”. She continues, “Sometimes I write a song, which I know is either the title track of the album, and it opens the album, or it will just never come out — ‘The Last One’ was one of those songs. But I love that song, and it feels really special it now gets to close The Good Witch.”

Her favourite lyric of the entire album comes from the song ‘Yoko’, dealing with misunderstandings that followed after Peters left a relationship she really hoped would work out, relating this to the common misconception surrounding Yoko Ono’s part in the break-up of The Beatles. “‘Yoko’ is one of my favourites, and I always wanted that to be on the album, but she didn’t quite make it. There’s a lyric in that song that’s my favourite lyric from this whole album: ‘You have a phone, you should have called’.”

While the two LPs in her discography may seem quite different on the surface, she feels there are many similarities. “I always say they are sister records to me,” she explains. “Even the Deluxe really emphasises that because there are songs on there that I wrote for the first album. The Deluxe is a good way to tie up any loose ends, I guess, and to make sure everything I wanted to say from those years, hopefully, is out. I mean, there’s always more things I want to say!”

Elsewhere, Peters’ online persona is generally an incredibly positive one, having created a space in which her fans clearly feel extremely comfortable, seen and safe. However, this hasn’t made her immune to her fair share of negativity on the internet too, something she’s experienced more this year than ever before. Yet she still manages to deliver a witty response to the not-so-nice comments she’s been on the other end of. “You can say with a wry smile, ‘At least I’m relevant,’” she smiles. “It’s really difficult, and you get bitten twice as hard when you’re someone that is online,” she says. “You’re engaging, and giving yourself to people, and then, suddenly, the mood changes, and people don’t like you, or don’t like what you’ve given them. You’re like, ‘But I was just trying to create, or I was just trying to show you this new song!’ It feels very personal, even though you try to turn it off.”

Through any negativity, Peters remains incredibly self-aware, and doesn’t seem to hold any resentment towards those directing the vitriol her way. “These people don’t know you. It’s normally a teenager tweeting, and good for them! I was a teenager tweeting once too. We’ve all done it. As long as I shall live, there will be teenagers tweeting, as they should.” Still, she admits it’s hard to not feel that she’s being “personally attacked”, and the comments have taken their toll at times. “People forget I’m still a person that’s seeing this. I’ve experienced that this year. I’ve found it really difficult. When you’re touring and away from home, and you’re really tired and running on empty, and then you just see X, Y and Z on TikTok or on Twitter about yourself, it really takes it out of you.”

Being present on the internet has been central to Peters’ career — she started out by posting videos of herself singing on YouTube when she was 15. But this year, she reached new peaks of online fame when her ‘There It Goes’ video went viral on TikTok in early autumn, painting a very relatable picture of the aftermath of an intense end-of-summer breakup in a vast city like London. Fans latched onto a couple of specific lines, “I’m doing better / I made it to September / I can finally breathe”, and “The comedown of closure / The girls and I do yoga / I wake up and it’s October / The loss is yours”. Fans started producing their own visuals to the track in cute clips which soon flooded the app. 

“Everybody wants something to take off on TikTok or to have a moment, but it was so fun that this moment was so organic,” she reflects. “What started happening was actually just this wonderful, sweet, pure, wholesome thing where people were using the sound, ‘I’m doing better / I made it to September,’ to round up little edits of their life and all the great things in it.” Peters admits she “couldn’t believe it” when she realised the song was going viral. “To see all these videos showcasing love and friendship, healing and growing and people just being themselves, I was like, ‘This is so cool.’ I’m so pleased and happy that was the moment, that’s what took off, because it’s so beautiful and lovely.” 

In what Peters calls a “cliche” answer, it’s her parents she immediately shouts out when asked who she wants to dedicate The Breakthrough Award, supported by Volvo, to, as they have been by her side on her incredible journey since she was a teen. “They drove me to pubs to play when I was 15,” recalls Peters. “My dad would come with me when I was busking so that if anything shady happened, he could be there, but he would also pretend not to be my dad, he’d just loiter around. They’ve always just been really supportive, so yeah, I would like to dedicate [this award] to them.”

On what’s next after this whirlwind year, Peters has a clear objective: “I’m going to bed!” she declares, itching to spend some time at home. “I haven’t spent more than two days at home since July. I’m going to be in London, just walking around, so say hi if you see me. God damn, I hope I’m in my rest and relaxation era.” She plans to spend the coming weeks “cooking meals and going to exercise classes” and generally doing very little. “Is it the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory grandparents who are in bed all day? That’s what I’m going to channel. I want to collect my thoughts a little bit. Then in the New Year, that’s when I’ll start making some more music. I have some thoughts and ideas [for the third album], but we’ll have to see what happens. Life takes you in surprising places sometimes.”

Taken from Issue 14 of Rolling Stone UK, our Awards Issue. You can buy it here.

Words: Charlotte Manning Photography: Lewis Vorn Fashion & Creative Director: Joseph Kocharian Styling: Luci Ellis Hair and makeup: Elizabeth Rita Styling assistant: Chessie Lulli

[maryangel0908]

A Country Darling Turned Into a Pop Princess

Literary Journalism by Mary Angeline T. Dalangin

In the summer of 2012, I was 12 back then. The soundtrack of my life suddenly switched from Katy Perry’s pop songs to a young woman named Taylor Swift. As a person who lived in a small town, the town was buzzed with tales of a girl who captured every girl's attention by singing songs about friendships, heartbreaks, and chasing her dreams. Taylor Swift back then was a rising star. She started getting recognition when she shifted gears from being a country music sweetheart to a global pop sensation. The year 2012 brought a significant change in her life because it helped he transform into the global pop icon she is today. 

Born in West Reading, Village in Pennsylvania, Taylor Swift dreamt of becoming the next global pop sensation from a young age. Like other teenagers, she had the determination to write and craft songs that resonated with industry veterans in Nashville at the age of 14. When she dropped her very first album, it was a mix of teenage heartbreak and country charm that captured a lot of listeners. “Teardrops on My Guitar” became an anthem for every teenager who was navigating the treacherous waters of betrayal and first love. 

As a rising artist back then, Taylor refused to be a one-trick pony. With this, in each album, she worked hard for it to push her boundaries making her release a new album called “Red” and “1989”. Even if the music industry evolved, her lyrical core remained constant. It still shares stories about love, friendships, loss, and the complexities of navigating fame. 

Taylor Swift never gave up even if she started getting hate and threats. She re-recorded some of her masters and she used her own platform to raise awareness and advocate for every artist’s rights. To a lot of teenagers and to her listeners, she became a symbol of female empowerment because she talks about the importance of human connection in sharing experiences. Her songs that dive into different emotions like love, friendship, and self-discovery, create a sense of relatability and to understand her listeners. 

Listening to her new album “Red” and “1989”, I knew that 1989 will be my new favorite album of her. The album 1989 portrays different facets of love like from carefree infatuation (Shake It Off) to heartbreak (Clean), and self-discovery (Blank Space). The album allows the listens to resonate with diverse experiences in life. As a listener, Taylor Swift’s lyrics are relatable and has an evocative melodies that connect with other listeners on a deeply personal level. I can already paint a picture of why the album “1989” has a special place in my heart because the songs resonate with me most. 

In conclusion, Taylor Swift’s music helps us connect with each other – the heartbroken teenager and being a fearless warrior. She became a representation of every teenager of experiences that reminds us that even in hard times we can still bloom into something extraordinary. With her music, we find the ability to understand ourselves, making her not just a singer but relating the complexities and triumphs of a generation. 

[acromandus]

Finally getting around to doing this! Thank you @thelifeinmyshadesofgrey for tagging me ♥♥♥♥♥ I haven't done these in ages so it was fun to feel like we were back in the 'golden era' of tumblr xD

Tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties: I don't wanna pressure anyone to have to do this, so consider this a warm suggestion rather than a I-will-judge-you-if-you-don't kind of situation @heyitszev :) (and if anyone else reading this feels like it, go ahead, the more the merrier lmao)

Favourite colour: This is a tough one because it all just depends on context so much. I'd say typically I veer more towards darker tones in general: really like a nice dark green, or a dark red or crimson. Purple is lovely too :D

Last song: Two Knights and Maidens by Crash Test Dummies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NS2EcHzdYY

Say what you want about the lyrics, but the chord progression in this song is *chefs kiss*

Last movie: 9. A bit of a strange one perhaps, but an interesting take on a post-apocalyptic world brought to life in a style that reminds me of Tim Burton a little bit. Basically, the world has been destroyed in a war between humans and machines, and we're introduced to a group of sentient dolls, each with a number on their backs from 1 to 9, who have had to survive in this strange new world while figuring out why they were made in the first place. I don't wanna spoil this for anyone who hasn't seen it, so I'll leave it at that :)

Currently watching: I'm in-between series atm haha. Waiting for season 4 of the Boys, and just finished watching season 2 of 30 Coins. Might just do a rewatch of Andor or the Punisher to fill this void.

Other stuff I watched this year: Err… from what I remember (and yes, since we're only in January, I'm counting 2023 into this as well) I'd say Moon Knight, Andor, 30 coins, a rewatch of Supernatural (up to season 12), and the One Piece live action series. Out of all these Andor was perhaps my favourite, but I enjoyed all of them, and was pleasantly surprised at how well the One Piece adaptation remained loyal to the original works :D they obviously had to adjust some things but it still felt true to form. With Andor, I was hesitant to watch it at first because the last SW series I had watched had been declining in quality (weird writing, etc), however… Andor completely blew me away. The way it builds up to the climax was just so well done, the writing is superb, music fantastic, and it's one of those series I wish I could forget about completely so I could experience it for the first time again.

Shows I dropped this year/didn’t finish: I haven't watched many series I've not finished since I usually watch them to the end anyway, but looks like that new Percy Jackson series may unfortunately fall into this category?

Currently reading: I've been powering through the Harry Potter books. Started during the Christams holidays and I'm now on book 6. So far so good, though I've had to slow down with holidays being over. Might need to reread the Robert Langdon series as well after this as it's still one of my personal favourites.

Currently listening to: This changes daily but I do find myself drifting back to Riot music very often. So, that's music made for League of Legends, Valorant, etc. Not the soundtracks, but songs like Worlds anthems like "GODS" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3GouGa0noM) and 2021's "Burn It All Down" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z6CHioIn3s). I also absolutely love "Breathe" from the official launch video for Legends of Runeterra (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNhKAJwlj04). I also like this vid for it heavily featuring Darius, the only champ I ever played when I attempted to get into LoL before the toxicity got to me and I decided it's not for me :3 (didn't take long, but left me with a bit of a soft spot for him lmao)

I absolutely do not play any of these games but man… the music is on point imo. Something again about chord progression, don't ask what my obsession with that is lmao.

If I'm not listening to these and songs like them, I'm listening to heavy metal (industrial or symphonic), movie or game soundtacks, or oldies belonging to various genres from the 70s and 80s, occasionally 90s as well. Here's a couple examples:

Once You've Tasted Love by Take That

Take the Long Way Home by Supertramp

Evil Woman by Electric Light Orchestra

Misplaced by Sonata Arctica

And I will leave it at that as I've already included too many songs lmao

Currently working on: I'm currently making a backend for a gym app I'm working on. I somehow got the GraphQL elements working, now I need to get it saving to a database of somekind. I could do this locally or learn to save data to the cloud but I haven't yet decided which approach to take lmao. Overall, I'm just upskilling in the hopes of eventually landing a job as a full-stack developer. NO LUCK SO FAR aside a couple freelance frontend opportunities :/

Current obsession: Hmm….. good question. I'd say, despite me not playing it as much as I used to, I am slowly getting back to Elder Scrolls Online? Fire Emblem Fates is another, as well as Bleach.

[monstersliveinthemirror]

The Guts Write up Nobody asked for

1. Out the gate with beautiful vocals in All American Bitch. The acoustic intro is interesting and catchy, but when it hits with drums and electric guitar, the song picks up so much. I love her almost punk sound in the chorus, especially the second chorus. This one definitely hits pop rock and it's incredible. The drop to the acoustic at the end is -chefs kiss-.

2. Bad idea right? Is THAT bitch. The sound is incredible, but let's talk lyrics. "My brain goes Ahhhh" is such a mood when you think about that ex you aren't over. "Yes I know that he's my ex but can't two people reconnect I only see him as a friend biggest lie I ever said" This whole track is just a love song to making bad decisions around exes. Let me just say it brings back every single time Alex showed back up in my life and we would be "friends" until the whole line of "I just tripped and fell into his bed..." SONICALLY this song is interesting and upbeat, it's just so good.

3. I don't really have much new to say about Vampire- what a beautiful song about a fucked up time in her life. I love the interesting music and changes in the song. It's catchy, it's just good. It's been good since it came out.

4. Let's talk about the bisexual anthem lacy. It's yet another song for the girlies who don't understand the difference between jealousy and attraction AKA me in high school. The lyrics in this one are silly to me, I think describing skin as puff pastry is so ridiculous, but it's such a vibe for being a teenager and thinking someone is perfect and being jealous. "I despise my rotton mind and how much it worships you" IS NOT A STRAIGHT THING.

5. This one immediately starts off gritty and is almost whiplash following Lacy. The chorus has such a neat and interesting sound and I'm so glad she took a risk with the punk leaning sound for this album. This is another song that makes this album the pop rock genre. I love how upbeat it is, it's a bop and a dance around your room with headphones pretending you're the lead singer of a band song. I will say I don't love the part where it slows down, but I'm glad it picks up and doesn't end with a slower part.

6. Making the bed physically hurt me. I feel personally attacked by the lyrics. I'm not sure I can talk about this. "Push away all the people who know me the best, but it's me who's making the bed. I'm so tired of being the girl that I am every good thing is turning to something I dread, I'm playing the victim so well in my head, but it's me who's been making the bed." Fucking ouch okay. "I got the things I wanted it's just not what I imagined" 😭 it's a perfect mid album song, slowing it down for a minute after lots of energy.

7. I don't have words for logical. Love song to the girls who have been in toxic relationships with men who take advantage of the ones who fall hard. This is an Alex song and I hate it but "you've got me thinking two plus two equals five and I'm the love of your life" I mean come on the WAY people convince you of lies. "Why do I do this, I look so stupid" is the moment of realizing that you were hoodwinked but somehow you still feel for them even though you know better. The whole outro of blaming yourself is just heartbreaking and I am unwell right now okay.

8. Alright back to it with some drums and gritty sound. This one has a great vibe. The chorus is everything to me. Upbeat I hate this man I'm gonna fuck up his life, the break up song for us girlies who knows we aren't gonna get closure but like we're ready to take it. The whole vibe of I want to make him hurt....but with the confusing aspect of wanting to make him feel better by being the one he turns to...nope I want revenge except I want him back FUCK. The perfect song for that confusing part of the break up where you're almost ready to move on but not really.

9. Love is embarrassing is a mood lol. The dumb shit we do when we think we're in love, the way we don't really have boundaries or know what we'll put up with yet. I appreciate the sound and how catchy the song is. I also love the pretty abrupt ending.

10. Alright, slow it back down. We've got the signature acoustic and Olivia's beautiful voice for this one. It seems like it's going to crescendo, but it doesn't quite get there. Lyrically, "I fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry" got me. "How could anybody do the things you did so easily" I am unwell. This song made me emotional about a fucking break up that happened almost a year ago. Fuck this. I am hurt. ~you know I can't let it go, I've tried I've tried I've tried for so long~ and it just ending...ugh so good.

11. Pretty isn't pretty starts strong. The sound is good, the lyrics are honest. It just addresses growing up a girl and developing self worth issues and is probably one of my favorite songs here because of the topic. We drop from worrying about relationships and just address what it's like when it feels like nothing is ever good enough. It's not my favorite based on sound, but it's good enough.

12. Ending on a sad note, I see. This one is a coming of age song and not understanding there is so much good ahead. You're just nineteen babe you've got so many better days to come. But at twenty eight I felt this. It's saying goodbye to younger days, "they all say that it gets better, it gets better but what if I don't" screams mental illness to me but I'm probably projecting my own issues. God I love how it picks up because it's such a big feeling. She did a great job of using music to set the mood in this one. Also the outro, the baby sounds the mom sounds just God fucking damn.

[darkhorse-javert]

Thoughts about a year ago- for context I am a pro-Royalist Brit. If you are not pro-royal, DL;DR...please don't start being nasty, these are my personal memories and thoughts

(LONG post below the cut)

OK, so it's Thursday, 8th September, c. lunchtime and I'm at work . Part of my job is helping with the social media for my work, so I logged on to Facebook and Twitter to see that things were organised before the weekend. We'd had a busy morning, so now was a good time to do it.

And on Twitter I see 'Queen Elizabeth' is trending. So i think I'll just have a quick look at what's going on. The Queen been fine, although looking very old and small two days ago (can't remember if I was already aware of the cancelled Privy Council meet at this time).

I click, and it's 'The Queen is under medical supervision at Balmoral, resting comfortably.' followed by get well soons etc.

And my heart/brain just sort of - stall and drop. 'OK, this isn't particularly good, she's 96.- and the Palace just don't issue health annoucements unless it's serious.' (They just don't).

On to the BBC news, where there's the live text feed. It doesn't say much more at that point, maybe that Charles and Anne are with her (Not Good)

Then after a bit c.20mins?, it comes up with the fact that family are being told to come to Balmoral.

That's when I really remember thinking 'Oh G-, Oh No. notgoodnotgood. Really Not Good'

I was just stunned numb, couldn't concentrate only anything for the last bit of my workshift. Then I went home, and just sat in front of the BBC coverage all afternoon, half-reading a book as it went on (Well Done to Huw Edwards and Nicholas Witchell for talking about the same small loop of things for three hours without sounding too boring). There wasn't anything really new to say, but I didn't dare stop watching- I wanted to know. (somewhere in this 'Resting Comfortably' became an awkward phrase in my mind, there's a lot doctors can do to help someone 'rest comfortably'

As it drew on we (family) reckoned they'd be waiting for the 6 o'clock News. And by 6, with no new updates apart from the arrival of family at Balmoral, we sort-of knew. If there had been any medical change for the better, any medical plan, it would have been mentioned (this was 'Nothing else but the Queen' TV coverage on the BBC).

6pm goes by, no news apart from the growing crowds at Buckingham Palace.

And then there's a shot of the royal standard on the flag-pole, and I can't quite work out if it's half-mast, or just looks it because it's hanging close to the flagpole due to lack of wind. And in the crowds there's a flurry of activity caught on camera. Then we cut back to the newsroom, and Huw Edwards annouces it-

That The Queen died this afternoon, that 'The King and the Queen Consort' will remain at Balmoral tonight.....

After the afternoon, the 'probably' had settled in. But then BBC played the National Anthem -with the beautiful painting, and I tried to sing 'God Save the Queen' for her - one final time. And my voice just caught and croaked, and I finally cried.

Even today that little bit makes me cry. starts 0:58

She was our Queen, she'd been queen for my entire life, she'd just Been There. And now she wasn't.

And it was -- so strange. To hear people on TV saying 'The King', and remember it meant Charles, who had always been 'Prince Charles', 'Prince of Wales'. That William was now (that is became very soon after) 'Prince of Wales'

It was comforting though for me, that Royalty carried on- even as it was strange.

And then we just had a very strange week, where things were very normal everywhere in life, but SO Not Normal as well.

It's strange it's been a whole year since then. RIP Ma'am. As Paddington said for all of us 'Thank you for everything'