#hand in hand with building character and characterization from theme. i love you so

[raayllum]

I know you like to analyze thematically in TDP a lot and you write top down the same way, so I’m curious, what are some of the themes/motifs in your upcoming novels? and do any of them coincide with TDP?

(GASP you get a gold star oh my god thank you!! and i will try to not make this too Long but i'm very excited!!)

Basic premise for ppl who have never heard of my novels before:

Latest generation of a reincarnated group of chosen ones have to grow up in a world of increasing violence and political instability that they're supposed to fix while also facing their own choices and demons. The main character, Ally, starts off as an 'unchosen one' — she lost her powers as a young child and has been trying to get them back, which kinda makes her resent her chosen one friends just as much as she loves them. The other two co-leads are her twin sister, a former child soldier with death powers she doesn't want, and her friend / one sided rival, a draconic-powered prodigy looking for redemption and to escape her past.

The funny thing is that when I was writing out my series (2014-2017 has all the pieces we currently have, though things have ofc been finessed since then) only ATLA existed as an inspiration point, which was, "How do you always know the Avatar is going to be a good person (and what if you didn't? What if they weren't)?" + "what if there was more than one running around?"

The rest was all from my head. There's a mystical magical heart broken into pieces. A continent divided in two with a long history of war. Characters anchored to the idea of Autonomy who then go through a loss of powers arc (hi Callum s2) and then brainwashing/possession arc (hi arc 2 Callum) that was probably by far the funniest coincidence. Circles and cycles and children and choices. The fact that these all just also found their way into TDP shows just how much it feels like the show was Made For Me in the best way creatively, and one of the reasons I think I've found TDP so personally rewarding to analyze—happy coincidences all around.

There's other coming-of-age themes of course that are shared between the two—grief, identity, friendship—but being prose I get to lean more into religious and political worldbuilding in much more detail.

I think my novel(s) are also more grey and angsty (especially later on) than TDP was at the start, too. A good chunk of my protagonists don't have any moral reservations about assassinations or killing/torturing people push come to shove while also still wanting and trying to be Good People, but that just makes the ethical dilemmas more interesting to explore. That said, everything is ultimately more Hopepunk, I just prefer to never pull punches on the way there

Motifs I like to use:

a tarot inspired in-universe version of chess for foreshadowing purposes

stage motif (who are you when you're performing for everyone around you / constantly fronting?)

birds / ravens

wolves

knives

eyes / the ouroboros (snake eating its own tail)

Themes: gods vs monsters (vs humanity), complex family and friend dynamics, living vs survival, grief and cycles, loss of sense of self, idolization and scapegoating as two sides of dehumanization, etc.

I also wanted to have unique power sets (Moon is one of my favourites with leaning into shadow magic and being able to make things temporarily out of moonlight, or Life not just being all fuzzy plants and animals and showing more of the well, brutality of being alive).

People have said my main protag is basically if Claudia and Rayla were the same person and yeah that's a fair assessment, Unfortunately for her.

I feel like I blabbed enough here but if you want more info on writing things from a top-down approach / what it's like to build from theme first I'd love to talk about it more in relation to TDP (and also my books, mayhaps!)

[planckstorytime]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard: Strangled by Gentle Hands

*The following contains spoilers*

“You would risk everything you have in the hope that the future is better? What if it isn’t? What if you wake up to find the future you shaped is worse than what was?”

– Solas, Dragon Age: Inquisition (2014)

I. Whatever It Takes

My premium tickets for a local film festival crumpled and dissolved in my pants pocket, unredeemed as they swirled in the washing machine. Throughout that October weekend in 2015, I neglected my celebratory privileges, my social visits to friends, and even my brutal honors literary theory class. All because a golden opportunity stretched before me: a job opening for a writing position at the once-legendary BioWare, with an impending deadline.

The application process wasn’t like anything I’d seen before. Rather than copy+paste a cover letter and quickly swap out a couple of nouns here and there, this opening required me to demonstrate my proficiency in both words and characters – namely, BioWare’s characters. Fanfiction wasn’t normally in my wheelhouse – at the time, I had taken mainly to spinning love sonnets (with a miserable success rate). But I wouldn’t balk at this chance to work on one of my dream franchises – especially since the job prospects for fresh English BAs weren’t exactly promising. So, I got to work crafting a branching narrative based on the company’s most recent title: Dragon Age: Inquisition. Barely two months prior, I saw the conclusion of that cast’s story when the Inquisitor stabbed a knife into a map and swore to hunt her former ally, Solas, to the ends of the earth. Now it was my turn to puppeteer them, to replicate the distinct voice of each party member and account for how they’d react to the scenario I crafted. And if it went well, then maybe I’d be at the tip of the spear on that hunt for Solas. Finishing the writing sprint left me exhausted, but also proud of my work.

The folks at BioWare obviously felt differently, because I received a rejection letter less than a week later. Maybe they found my story trite and my characterization inaccurate, or maybe they just didn’t want to hire a student with no professional experience to his name. Regardless, I was devastated. It wouldn’t be until years later that I learned that, had my application been accepted, I likely would’ve been drafted into working on the studio’s ill-fated looter shooter, Anthem (2019), noteworthy for its crunch and mismanagement. My serendipitous rejection revealed that sometimes the future you strive to build was never meant to match your dreams. What seemed like an opportunity to strike oil actually turned out to be a catastrophic spill.

Still, my passion for the Dragon Age series (as well as Mass Effect) persisted in the face of BioWare’s apparent decline. I maintain that Inquisition is actually one of the studio’s best games, and my favorite in the series, to the point where I even dressed up as Cole for a convention one time. The game came to me at a very sensitive time in my life, and its themes of faith vs falsehood, the co-opting of movements in history, and the instability of power all spoke to me. But I will elaborate more on that at a later date. My point is, I held on to that hope that, in spite of everything, BioWare could eventually deliver a satisfactory resolution to the cliffhanger from their last title. Or perhaps it was less hope and more of a sunk cost fallacy, as an entire decade passed with nary a peep from Dragon Age.

As years wore on, news gradually surfaced about the troubled development of the fourth game. Beginning under the codename “Joplin” in 2015 with much of the same creative staff as its predecessors, this promising version of the game would be scrapped two years later for not being in line with Electronic Arts’s business model (i.e. not being a live-service scam). Thus, it was restarted as “Morrison”. The project cantered along in this borderline unrecognizable state for a few years until they decided to reorient it back into a single-player RPG, piling even more years of development time onto its shaky Jenga tower of production. Indeed, critical pieces were constantly being pulled out from the foundations during this ten year development cycle. Series regulars like producer Mark Darrah and director Mike Laidlaw made their departures, and the project would go on to have several more directors and producers come and go: Matthew Goldman, Christian Dailey, and Mac Walters, to name a few key figures. They eventually landed on John Epler as creative director, Corinne Busche as game director, and Benoit Houle as director of product development. Then came the massive layoffs of dozens of employees, including series-long writer Mary Kirby, whose work still made it into the final version of DA4. Finally, the game received a rebranding just four months before release, going from Dreadwolf (which it had been known as since 2022) to The Veilguard (2024) – a strange title with an even stranger article.

Needless to say, these production snags did not inspire confidence, especially considering BioWare’s been low on goodwill between a string of flops like Anthem and Mass Effect: Andromeda (2017) and, before that, controversial releases like Dragon Age II (2011) and Mass Effect 3 (2012). The tumult impacted The Veilguard’s shape, which scarcely resembles an RPG anymore, let alone a Dragon Age game. The party size is reduced from four to three, companions can no longer be directly controlled, the game has shifted to a focus on action over tactics a la God of War (2018), the number of available abilities has shrunk, and there’s been a noticeable aesthetic shift towards a more cartoonish style. While I was open to the idea of changing up the combat (the series was never incredible on that front), I can’t get over the sensation that these weren’t changes conceived out of genuine inspiration, but rather vestigial traces from the live-service multiplayer iteration. The digital fossil record implies a lot. Aspects like the tier-based gear system, the instanced and segmented missions, the vapid party approval system, the deficit of World State import options, and the fact that rarely does more than the single mandatory companion have anything unique to say on a quest – it all points to an initial design with a very different structure from your typical single-player RPG. The Veilguard resembles a Sonic Drive-In with a mysterious interior dining area – you can tell it was originally conceived as something else.1

That said, the product itself is functional. It contains fewer bugs than any previous game in the franchise, and maybe BioWare’s entire catalog for that matter. I wouldn’t say the combat soars, but it does glide. There’s a momentum and responsiveness to the battle system that makes it satisfying to pull off combos and takedowns against enemies, especially if you’re juggling multiple foes at once. Monotony sets in after about thirty or forty hours, largely due to the fact that you’re restricted to a single class’s moveset on account of the uncontrollable companions. Still, this design choice can encourage replay value, as it does in Mass Effect, and free respec options and generous skill point allocations offset the tedium somewhat.

While the character and creature designs elicit controversy – both for the exaggerated art direction and, in the case of demons and darkspawn, total redesign – the environmental art is nothing short of breathtaking. I worried that this title would look dated because of how long it had been in development and the age of the technology it was built upon. Those fears were swiftly banished when I saw the cityscapes of Minrathous, the cyclopean architecture of the Nevarran Grand Necropolis, or the overgrown ruins of Arlathan. But like everything in The Veilguard, it’s a double-edged sword. The neon-illuminated streets of Docktown, the floating citadel of the Archon’s Palace, and the whirring mechanisms of the elven ruins evoke a more fantastically futuristic setting that feels at odds with all three previous titles (even though all three exhibited a stylistic shift to some extent). It aggravates the feeling of discordance between this rendition of Thedas and the one returning players know.

All of these elements make The Veilguard a fine fantasy action-adventure game – even a good one, I’d say. But as both the culmination of fifteen years of storytelling and as a narrative-based roleplaying game – the two most important facets of its identity – it consistently falls short. Dragon Age began as a series with outdated visuals and often obtuse gameplay, but was borne aloft by its worldbuilding, characterization, and dialogue. Now, that paradigm is completely inverted. The more you compare it to the older entries, the more alien it appears. After all these years of anticipation, how did it end up this way? Was this the only path forward?

Throughout The Veilguard’s final act, characters utter the phrase “Whatever it takes,” multiple times. Some might say too many. I feel like this mantra applied to the development cycle. As more struggles mounted, the team made compromise after compromise to allow the game to exist at all, to give the overarching story some conclusion in the face of pressure from corporate shareholders, AAA market expectations, and impatient fans. Whatever it takes to get this product out the door and into people’s homes.

This resulted in a game that was frankensteined together, assembled out of spare parts and broken dreams. It doesn’t live up to either the comedic heights or dramatic gravity of Inquisition’s “Trespasser” DLC from 2015, despite boasting the same lead writer in Trick Weekes. Amid the disappointment, we’re left with an unfortunate ultimatum: It’s either this or nothing.

I don’t mean that as a way to shield The Veilguard from criticism, or to dismiss legitimate complaints as ungrateful gripes. Rather, I’m weighing the value of a disappointing reality vs an idealized fantasy. The “nothing”, in this sense, was the dream I had for the past decade of what a perfect Dragon Age 4 looked like. With the game finally released, every longtime fan has lost their individualized, imaginary perfection in the face of an authentic, imperfect text. Was the destruction of those fantasies a worthy trade? It doesn’t help that the official artbook showcases a separate reality that could’ve been, with a significant portion dedicated to the original concepts for Joplin that are, personally, a lot closer to my ideal vision. I think it would’ve done wonders to ground the game as more Dragon Age-y had they stuck with bringing back legacy characters, such as Cole, Calpernia, Imshael, and the qunari-formerly-known as Sten.

I don’t necessarily hate The Veilguard (I might actually prefer it to Dragon Age II), but I can’t help but notice a pattern in its many problems – a pattern that stems from a lack of faith in the audience and a smothering commitment to safety over boldness. As I examine its narrative and roleplaying nuances, I wish to avoid comparing it to groundbreaking RPGs such as Baldur’s Gate 3 (2023) or even Dragon Age: Origins (2009), as the series has long been diverging from that type of old-school CRPG. Rather, except when absolutely necessary, I will only qualitatively compare it to Inquisition, its closest relative.

And nowhere does it come up shorter to Inquisition than in the agency (or lack thereof) bestowed to the player to influence their character and World State.

II. Damnatio Memoriae

No, that’s not the name of an Antivan Crow (though I wouldn’t blame you for thinking so, since we have a character named “Lucanis Dellamorte”). It’s a Latin phrase meaning “condemnation of memory”, applied to a reviled person by destroying records of their existence and defacing objects of their legacy. In this case, it refers to the player. When it comes to their influence over the world and their in-game avatar, The Veilguard deigns to limit or outright eliminate it.

Save transfers that allow for the transmission of World States (the carrying over of choices from the previous games) have been a staple of the Dragon Age and Mass Effect franchises. Even when their consequences are slight, the psychological effect that this personalization has on players is profound, and one of many reasons why fans grow so attached to the characters and world. At its core, it’s an illusion, but one that’s of similar importance to the illusion that an arbitrary collection of 1s and 0s can create an entire digital world. Player co-authorship guarantees a level of emotional investment that eclipses pre-built backgrounds.

However, The Veilguard limits the scope to just three choices, a dramatic decrease from the former standard. All import options come from Inquisition, with two just from the “Trespasser” expansion. One variable potentially impacts the ending, while the other two, in most cases, add one or two lines of dialogue and a single codex entry. Inquisition, by contrast, imported a bevy of choices from both previous games. Some of them had major consequences to quests such as “Here Lies the Abyss” and “The Final Piece”, both of which incorporated data from two games prior. The Veilguard is decidedly less ambitious. Conspicuously absent options include: whether Morrigan has a child or not, the fate of Hawke, the status of the Hero of Fereldan, the current monarchs of Fereldan and Orlais, the current Divine of the southern Chantry, and the individual outcomes of more than two dozen beloved party members across the series. Consequently, the fourth installment awkwardly writes around these subjects – Varric avoids mentioning his best friend, Hawke, as does Isabela ignore her potential lover. Fereldan, Orlais, and the Chantry are headed by Nobody in Particular. Morrigan, a prominent figure in the latest game, makes no mention of her potential son or even her former traveling companions. And the absence of many previous heroes, even ones with personal stakes in the story, feels palpably unnatural. I suspect this flattening of World States into a uniform mold served, in addition to cutting costs, to create parity between multiple cooperative players during the initial live-service version of Morrison. Again, the compromises of the troubled production become apparent, except this time, they’re taking a bite out of the core narrative.

Moreover, the game’s unwillingness to acknowledge quantum character states means that it’s obliged to omit several important cast members. At this point, I would’ve rather had them establish an official canon for the series rather than leaving everything as nebulous and undefined as possible. That way at least the world would’ve felt more alive, and we could’ve gotten more action out of relevant figures like Cassandra, Alistair, Fenris, Merrill, Cole, and Iron Bull. Not to mention that The Veilguard’s half-measure of respectful non-intereference in past World States ultimately fails. Certain conversations unintentionally canonize specific events, including references to Thom Rainier and Sera, both of whom could go unrecruited in Inquisition, as well as Morrigan’s transformation into a dragon in the battle with Corypheus in that game’s finale. But whatever personal history the player had with them doesn’t matter. The entire Dragon Age setting now drifts in a sea of ambiguity, its history obfuscated. It feels as gray and purgatorial as Solas’s prison for the gods.

Beyond obscuring the past, The Veilguard restrains the player’s agency over the present. When publications first announced that the game would allow audiences to roleplay transgender identities and have that acknowledged by the party, I grew very excited – both at the encouraging representation, and at the depth of roleplaying mechanics that such an inclusion suggested. Unfortunately, The Veilguard offers little in roleplaying beyond this. The player character, Rook, always manifests as an altruistic, determined, friendly hero, no matter what the player chooses (if they’re offered choices at all). The selections of gender identity and romantic partner constitute the totality of how Rook defines themselves, post-character creation – exceptions that prove the rule of vacancy. Everything else is set in stone. The options presented are good, and should remain as standard, but in the absence of other substantive roleplaying experiences, their inclusion starts to feel frustratingly disingenuous and hollow, as if they were the only aspects the developers were willing to implement, and only out of obligation to meet the bare minimum for player agency. In my opinion, it sours the feature and exudes a miasma of cynicism.

Actual decisions that impact the plot are few and far between, but at least we have plenty of dialogue trees. In this type of game, dialogue options might usually lead to diverging paths that eventually converge to progress the plot. You might be choosing between three different flavors of saying “yes”, but as with the World States, that illusion of agency is imperative for the roleplaying experience. The Veilguard doesn’t even give you the three flavors – the encouraging, humorous, and stern dialogue options are frequently interchangeable, and rarely does it ever feel like the player is allowed to influence Rook’s reactions. Relationships with companions feel predetermined, as the approval system has no bearing on your interactions anymore. There are so few moments for you to ask your companions questions and dig in deep compared to Inquisition. Combined together, these issues make me question why we even have dialogue with our party at all. Rook adopts the same parental affect with each grown adult under their command, and it feels like every conversation ends the same way irrespective of the player’s input. With the exception of the flirting opportunities, they might as well be non-interactive cutscenes.

Rook’s weak characterization drags the game down significantly. With such limited authorship afforded to the player, it’s difficult to regard them as anything more than their eponymous chess piece – a straightfoward tool, locked on a grid, and moving flatly along the surface as directed.

III. Dull in Docktown

On paper, a plot summary of The Veilguard sounds somewhere between serviceable and phenomenal: Rook and Varric track down Solas to stop him from tearing down the Veil and destroying the world. In the process, they accidentally unleash Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain, two of the wicked Evanuris who once ruled over the elven people millenia ago. With Solas advising them from an astral prison, Rook gathers a party together to defeat the risen gods, along with their servants and sycophants. Over the course of the adventure, they uncover dark truths about the origins of the elves, the mysterious Titans, and the malevolent Blight that’s served as an overarching antagonistic force. Eventually, Rook and friends join forces with Morrigan and the Inquisitor, rally armies to face off with their foes, and slay both the gods and their Archdemon thralls before they can conjure the full terror of the Blight. As Solas once again betrays the group, Rook and company have to put a decisive stop to his plans, which could potentially involve finally showing him the error of his ways.

The bones of The Veilguard’s story are sturdier than a calcium golem. Problems arise when you look at the actual writing, dialogue, and characterization – the flesh, blood, and organs of the work.

I’ve seen others chide the writing as overly quippy, but that better describes previous titles. Rather, I think The Veilguard’s dialogue is excessively utilitarian and preliminary, like a first draft awaiting refinement. Characters describe precisely what’s happening on screen as it’s happening, dryly exposit upon present circumstances, and repeat the same information ad nauseum. This infuriating repetition does little to reveal hidden components of their personalities, or their unique responses to situations. You won’t hear anything like Cole’s cerebral magnetic poetry or Vivienne’s dismissive arrogance. Many exchanges could’ve been uttered by Nobody in Particular, as it’s just dry recitation after recitation. It almost feels like watching an English second language instructional video, or a demonstration on workplace safety precautions. Clarity and coherence come at the cost of characterization and charisma.

Words alone fail to make them interesting. Most companions lack the subtlety and depth I had come to expect from the franchise, with many conversations amounting to them just plainly stating how they’re feeling. Most rap sessions sound like they’re happening in a therapist’s office with how gentle, open, and uncomplicated they feel. Compare this to Inquisition, where every character has a distinct voice (I should know, I had to try to copy them for that stupid application), as well as their own personal demons that it betrays: Sera’s internalized racism, hints of Blackwall’s stolen valor, Iron Bull’s espionage masked by bluster, or Solas’s lingering guilt and yearning for a bygone age. These aspects of their characters aren’t front and center, but things the audience can delve into that gives every moment with them more texture. The Veilguard’s companions lay out all their baggage carefullly and respectfully upfront, whether it’s Taash’s multiculturalism and gender identity issues or Neve’s brooding cynicism towards Tevinter’s underbelly. You’ve plumbed the depths of their personas within the first few minutes of meeting most of them.

Small exceptions exist. Professor Emmerich Volkarin stands out from the rest of the cast as a particularly inspired character: a charming, Vincent Price-like necromancer. His attachment to tombs and necromancy as a way to cope with his crippling fear of death makes for curiously compelling melodrama. The way in which he ultimately has to face his fear – either by foregoing his opportunity for immortality to save his beloved skeletal ward, Manfred, or by allowing his friend to pass on so that he can transcend into a new type existence – rises above the other binary choices in the game by being both narratively interesting and legitimately difficult to judge. Still, I feel Emmerich’s whole “lawful good gentleman necromancer” conceit, while a unique and clever subversion of tropes, would’ve worked better if it actually contrasted with anyone else in the party. Instead, the whole crew is full of unproblematic do-gooders who are forbidden by the game to nurture any meaningful interpersonal conflict. While I’d appreciate this lack of toxicity in my real-life relationships, fictional chemistry demands more reactive ingredients.

The Veilguard’s developers frequently positioned the game as “cozy” and about a “found family”, but I can guarantee you that there’s more tension at my Thanksgiving dinners than there is anywhere in this title. This family would get along swimmingly even during a presidential election. The thing about the “found family” trope is that it’s more satisfying when it’s earned. Here, it represents the default state, the starting point, and the status quo that they will always return to. Any minor squabbles (Harding wanting to sleep in the dirt, Emmerich taking too many books on a camping trip, Taash not liking necromancy) are introduced and squashed within the same scene. They all feel so extraneous. There’s so little friction among the companions here that you’d think it disproves Newton’s Third Law. The previous games never struggled in this regard, which makes the choices here all the more baffling.

Beyond the intra-party dynamics, characters lack grit or darkness to them – even when the narrative absolutely calls for it. Remember how I described the necromancer as lawful good (to use traditional Dungeons and Dragons alignments)? Yeah, that’s every character. Even the demonic assassin. Lucanis is a notorious hitman possessed by a demon of Spite, and possibly the weakest character of the game. This may or may not be due to the fact that his writer, Mary Kirby, was laid off mid-development. Regardless, he has noticeably less content than the other party members and generally feels unfinished. The demonic possession storyline goes nowhere; he doesn’t exorcise Spite, nor does he learn more about it or how to live with it. Instead, Spite is just an excuse to give Lucanis cool spectral wings (which he will use to fail several assassination attempts). The demon itself mostly just comes across as rude rather than threatening. The biggest issue, however, stems from the absence of any edge to Lucanis. When confronting his traitorous cousin, Ilario – the man who sold out Lucanis’s family to an enemy faction, kidnapped his grandmother, and made multiple attempts on his life – our grizzled, hardened assassin, pushed to the brink, demands… due process. Seriously, if your choices have led Lucanis to have a hardened heart, his method for dealing with the grievous traitor is sending him to jail. That’s The Veilguard’s idea of vindictive brutality among a clan of unforgiving murderers-for-hire. By contrast, Inquisition features Sera insubordinately murdering a stuck-up nobleman for talking too much. I believe that if modern BioWare had written The Godfather (1972), it would’ve ended with Michael Corleone recommending his brother-in-law to attend confession and seek a marriage counselor.

The writers seem intent on making the cast wholly unproblematic, with no way that the audience could ever question their morality or taste the delicious nuance of seeing someone you like do something bad. Measures were taken to child-proof every aspect of the good guys so that they couldn’t possibly be construed as anything else – even if it constricts them to the point of numbness and eventual atrophy.

To make things as palatable and accessible as possible, the language itself was dumbed down. Characters make frequent use of neologisms and bark phrases like “Suit up,” or “These guys go hard.” It emulates popular blockbuster superhero stuff rather than staying true to the diction the series traditionally employed. It’s all about the team, and the entire Dragon Age world has been stripped down into simplistic conflicts and recognizable stock characters.

This is why The Veilguard’s story largely fails. Despite being ostensibly being about the characters, they come off as an afterthought. Most of the time, only the sole requisite follower has anything to say on a given mission. Even in combat, their wholeness as fully-implemented party members falls short of expectations. Their damage output pales in comparison to the Rook’s, they have no health and cannot be downed in battle, and they mainly exist to give the player three extra ability slots. That’s the game’s true ethos for the companions, whether in combat or dialogue – utility, tools to make things happen rather than elegantly crafted identities. We end up with the largest amount of content per companion among any game in the franchise, only to have the weakest roster.

I know these writers can do better, because I’ve seen them do better. Trick Weekes wrote Iron Bull, Cole, and Solas in Inquisition, as well as Mordin Solus and Tali’Zorah in Mass Effect 2 (2010) and Mass Effect 3. Mary Kirby wrote Varric throughout the series, as well as Sten and Loghain in Origins. Plenty of other experienced writers, such as Sylvia Feketekuty and John Dombrow also contributed, so I can’t put any of the blame on a lack of skill. I don’t know if the mistake was trying to appeal to a wider audience, or if the constant reorientations of the DA4 project drained the crew’s passion and left them lacking in time to polish things.

I personally suspect that the writers had to rush out a script for all of the voiced dialogue. A video from August of 2020 showed off the voice actors for Davrin and Bellara, more than four years before the final game’s release. I think the codex entries, letters, and missives that you find throughout the game, which consist of only text, are much better written than the dialogue. My theory is that the writers had more time to revise and spruce up these tidbits, where edits were minimally invasive, as far as production is concerned. But my knowledge is limited; after all, BioWare rejected my application almost a decade ago.

Still, there are aspects of The Veilguard’s plot that I enjoy. The lore reveals were particularly satisfying2, and many felt rewarding after a decade of speculation. I called that elves were originally spirits, as well as the connection between the Archdemons and the Evanuris, but I wouldn’t have guessed that the Blight formed out of the smoldering rage of the Titans’ severed dreams. I’d concisely describe The Veilguard’s story as the opposite of Mass Effect 3: Whereas ME3 did excellent character work, the characterization in The Veilguard leaves much to be desired. Whereas ME3’s tone was overwhelmingly grim, The Veilguard feels inappropriately positive. Whereas ME3’s lore reveals ruined much about the series’s mystique, The Veilguard’s helped tie the setting’s history together. And whereas ME3 fumbled the ending about as much as it possibly could, The Veilguard actually coalesces into a spectacular third act.

While I think the twist with Varric’s death is weak (outright pitiful compared to the Dread Wolf twist of Inquisition), the actual events that make up the finale carry a momentum and urgency that the rest of the game severely lacked. Everything from the sacrifice and kidnapping of Rook’s companions to the slaying of Ghilan’nain to the awe-inspiring battle between the Dread Wolf and Archdemon Lusacan – the whole affair takes the best parts of Mass Effect 2’s Suicide Mission and elevates it to the scale of an apocalyptic series finale. Ultimately, Solas takes center stage as the final antagonist, and the drama crescendos to a height the rest of the game desperately needed. He remains the most interesting character in the game and perhaps the franchise, and thankfully, the resolution to his story did not disappoint me (though I would’ve preferred the option for a boss battle against his Dread Wolf form if the player’s negotiations broke down). So in that sense, I think the worst possible scenario was avoided.

But is that really worth celebrating? Averting complete disaster? Exceeding the lowest standards? In many regards, The Veilguard still could have been – should have been – more.

IV. A World of Tranquil

In my essay on Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth (2024), I briefly discussed a trend in media to sand off the edges so as not to upset the audience in any way. The encroachment of this media sanitization seems to be an over-correction to the brimming grimness of late 2000s and early 2010s fiction (to which the first two Dragon Age titles belong), which earned comparable levels of criticism. Like Solas, I occasionally feel trapped in a cycle of regret, where it feels like our previous yearning for less aggressive, mean-spirited content led to a media landscape that prioritized patronizingly positive art. Now it’s clear to me that, in order to have a point, you need to have an edge.

Dragon Age historically drew a very progressive audience, and many of them congregated around Tumblr in that website’s heyday. Tumblr has garnered something of a reputation for overzealous discourse and sensitivity among its userbase, and I think that the developers of The Veilguard, in an attempt to cater to one of their core audiences, may have misunderstood both that passion and the fundamental appeal of their products. They became so concerned about optics, about avoiding politically charged criticism, that they kneecapped their world-building, rendering it as inoffensive and sterile as possible. It’s not so much “PC culture” as it is “PG culture.”

To that end, the various governments, factions, and societies of Thedas lost their edge. Dragon Age previously presented itself as anti-authoritarian by showcasing the rampant abuses of power across all cultures. Whether it was the incarceration of mages under the Chantry, the slavery practiced by the Tevinter Imperium, the expansionist anti-individualism of the Qun, the restrictive dwarven caste system, or the rampant racism against elves, social strife abounded in this world. I think that’s one thing that drew so many marginalized fans to the series. But the correlation of fictional atrocities with those of real life frequently prompted volatile discourse, with many concerned about how allegedly allegorized groups were being represented. You began to see countless essays pop up by folks who use the phrase “blood quantum” more than any healthy person should for a setting about wizards. BioWare responded to this by making Thedosian society wholly pleasant and the people in power responsible and cool and the disparate cultures tolerant and cooperative. If nothing’s portrayed negatively (outside of the cartoonishly evil gods), nobody can take offense, right?

For starters, the Antivan Crows have gone from an amoral group of assassins to basically Batman. These figures, which previously purchased children off slave markets to train them into killers, are now the “true rulers” of Antiva, by which the official government derives its authority. The Crows in The Veilguard stand against the insurgent qunari army as heroes of the common folk. They’re not an unscrupulous faction that Rook is reluctantly forced to ally with for the greater good; no, the Crows are simply good guys now. When the pompous governor of Treviso rails against them, with such audacious claims as “assassins and thugs should not represent the citizenry,” we’re meant to laugh at the governor’s foolishness. The unintentional implication this sends is that lethal vigilantism and unchecked power are cool because the people who use it are cool and stylish. The slave trade goes unacknoweldged; Antivan children want to grow up to be assassins now. The Crows never do anything wrong in The Veilguard – the governor is later revealed to be cooperating with the invaders for their own power. BioWare avoids the unpleasantness inherent in the Crows’ concept by pretending it never existed.

Perhaps more ridiculous is the Lords of Fortune, a new faction of pirates and treasure hunters based out of Rivain. Except they don’t really do piracy or treasure hunting. The game goes to lengths to ensure that the audience knows that the Lords don’t steal important cultural artifacts from any of the tombs and ruins they raid. What do they steal, then? There is no such thing as an ethical treasure hunter – plundering indigenous sites for souvenirs is inherently problematic – but the writers wanted to reap the appeal of adventurous swashbucklers without any of the baggage, regardless of whether it makes sense or not3. It comes across as a child’s idea of a pirate: they’re not thinking about the murder and looting, just the funny men with eye-patches who say “ARRR!” The developers want us to like the Lords of Fortune, and to that end, they can’t do anything culturally insensitive – even fictional disrespect toward a made-up culture. This is doubly amusing because the Lords are represented by Isabela from Dragon Age II. The same Isabela that kicked off a war with the qunari by stealing their holy book, the Tome of Koslun. This irony goes unacknowledged by the game.4

When these rogue buccaneers aren’t busy giving land acknowledgments to displaced Dalish elves or whatever, they’re enjoying their nonviolent coliseum. Pirates revel in bloodsport, but only so long as no actual blood is spilled. The Lords refuse to fight prisoners or animals in their arena, as they find such acts too cruel. I guess they’re all big Peter Singer readers. Instead, they summon spirits to adopt the visages of common enemies so that the player can kill them with a clean conscience. It’s another example of wanting to have your cake and eat it too – they wanted to create a glory hunter/gladiator faction, but couldn’t stand the underlying implications of such. So they twisted and bent them to fit into their unproblematic paradigm, leaving the Lords flavorless and lame. They barely even contribute to the main story, and they’re practically the only look we get into Rivaini society (which remains criminally underdeveloped).

More tragic is the handling of the qunari, once one of the most unique and nuanced civilizations in the Dragon Age setting. The Qun, as portrayed in the first three installments, is a society that demands all of its composite parts work in harmony. Thus, they have predetermined vocations for their children, rigid gender roles, strict codes of conduct, and an ambition to “enlighten” the rest of the world. While the Qun has often been presented as antagonistic toward the heroes, the series has commonly balanced its portrayal by showing how seductive its absolutism can be for people without hope. In some cases, life under the Qun is preferable, as is the case with former Tevinter slaves. Conformity becomes comfort when the world is regularly threatening to split apart.

The Veilguard opts for a different approach. See, Rook’s not fighting members of the Qun in this game – they’re fighting the Antaam, the former qunari military. The Veilguard constantly reiterates that the Antaam, which makes up one of the three branches of the Qun, has broken off and decided to invade, pillage, and stoke chaos. BioWare didn’t want the questionable morality and complexity of fighting an invading people from a humanized, multi-faceted culture, so they removed their culture. Their efforts to turn the non-Western-coded qunari into something digestible for their mistaken conception of a modern audience instead results in two caricatures: one being a fetishized, perfect society where there are no perceivable social ills; and the other a bunch of rampaging brutes.

Contending with a realized conception of Plato’s Republic mixed with the Ottoman Empire makes for more compelling drama than a horde of murderous giants. Again, BioWare wanted to have it both ways, and they still needed nameless, faceless orcs to kill. So every bit about the qunari’s militancy, imperialism, and repression coexisting alongside some of their more progressive ideas and communal unity is stripped of its context and meaning. Blame is placed solely on the Antaam, who no longer represent (and retroactively, never represented) the Qun’s ideology. It’s a cowardly compromise, attempting to pin the blame of all the Qun’s failings on a renegade military and seeking to exonerate the political and social apparatuses of their culpability.

At one point, a minor character named Seer Rowan lectures to an ignorant human (a proxy for the audience absorbing these retcons) that qunari society has always been egalitarian in practice, with mages enjoying freedom there. Previous games showed that the qunari shackle their “saarebas” mages, stitch their mouths, cut out their tongues, and teach them to commit suicide if they ever stray from their masters. However, we’re now assured that this is only practiced under the Antaam, and No True Qunari would ever do such a thing. Ignore the fact that, in Inquisition, we witness the enslaved saarebas under the supervision of the Ben-Hasserath, a subdivision of the Ariqun (i.e. not part of the Antaam). In fact, the Antaam that Rook fights in The Veilguard never command saarebas at all. They’re completely absent from the game (likely because the image of the bound, mutilated minority was too much for The Veilguard’s sensibilities). Seer Rowan’s weak, conciliatory retcon can’t even justify itself in its own game. The scolding diatribe communicates an intrinsic misunderstanding of the Qun by the writers – namely, it continues the pattern established with the Antivan Crows that the mechanics of power in society are fundamentally good as long as aberrant forces aren’t in charge. While I understand the desire to be conscientious about the portrayal of fictional cultures that draw upon non-Western traditions and iconography (which have historically been demonized in media), glamorizing the Qun and stripping it of its realistic nuance does little to alleviate any problems with representation. If anything, it creates new ones.

But hey, now we have our faceless orcs to guiltlessly slaughter. That’s what the Antaam’s been reduced to, bereft of the ideology that made them people. We kill them because they’re strange and scary and foreign and seeking to destroy our cities for fun. They remain the most prominent representation of the qunari in-game, barring our party member Taash. BioWare’s attempts to reverse what they viewed as problematic components to the qunari instead devolved into the very tropes they wished to avoid.

Which leads us to the elves. Much of the series’s discourse has surrounded the portrayal of the long-suffering elven people, who endure slavery under Tevinter, expulsion from their homeland in the Dales, confinement in ghettos, and the general disdain from other races. The games’ stories use symbolic shorthand of real-life oppressed peoples to communicate these tragedies, and this has led to a variety of intense, emotional interpretations over the years. The unending misery of the systematically marginalized elves hasn’t gone unnoticed by the fanbase – and their criticisms haven’t gone unnoticed by the developers. To quote The Veilguard’s creative director, John Epler, in an interview with Polygon:

“Dragon Age has not always been the kindest to the Dalish [elves]. Somebody once made a joke to me, and it’s not untrue, that it’s possible to wipe out a Dalish clan in all three of the games in some way.”

He and others on the development team must’ve thought elves needed a break, because the omnipresent racism against them vanishes completely in The Veilguard. Tevinter, an empire built on the back of chattel slavery, doesn’t show any of that. Consequently, it feels like players in the know still haven’t seen the true face of Tevinter, despite spending half a game there. The notion that the capital of Minrathous gives now is one of a prosperous city that’s centuries ahead of the countries down south, rather than a cruel regime cracking the whip at every opportunity. Perhaps the writers weren’t comfortable portraying this, or felt that their audience might not be amenable to it after years of incendiary argumentation. Nevertheless, it castrates their established world-building and robs us of the opportunity to witness true elven liberation in the climax. With both the fall of Minrathous and the toppling of the tyrannical elven gods, we could have delivered a much needed catharsis after four games of oppression, but The Veilguard forgoes this storytelling opportunity to play it safe.

I worry that this hesitancy originated from anxieties about the sensitivity of depicting marginalized peoples in brutal, dehumanizing conditions, and how that might look to more fragile viewers. But I think it’s important for all players, watchers, and readers to know that, though there might be aspects shared between them, fictional minorities are distinct from real ones.

Dragon Age’s elves are aesthetically Celtic. Their residency in alienages evokes images of Disapora Jews in Europe. Their Long Walk after being driven from the Dales calls back to the Trail of Tears, sharing an experience with Native Americans. Their subsequent migratory nature is reminiscent of the Romani people. And their ancient empire of Arlathan, with its large columns and temples of worship, headed by ascended humanoid (for lack of a better term) deities that cast down an enemy called the Titans, and which has since had its religion and culture co-opted and renamed by Roman-inspired Tevinter invites comparisons to classical Greece.

My point is, the elves of Dragon Age don’t represent one group of people, because fictional cultures are constructs drawing from countless inspirations. If they represent anything beyond themselves, it’s the idea of a proud people that’s fallen under the yoke of conquering powers – a supervictim to embody all. The idea that one must be limited in their storytelling options based on how the portrayal might reflect upon or disrespect an existing culture is flawed, in my opinion. In the overwhelming majority of cases, coding cannot be read as a 1:1 allegory, especially in speculative fiction like science-fiction and fantasy. I believe the most mature way to evaluate a story isn’t to try to pigeonhole what it’s trying to say say about who, as if there’s some insidious encrypted message in the text. Rather, it’s to see the forest through the trees and interpret the work as a complete whole in itself.

On that basis, I ask: would it have been so bad to see some of those enslaved elves, praying for salvation, side with their manipulative, nefarious gods? To add some nuance to the conflict with Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain, would the story of elven liberation not have been better if the game actually engaged with it? Could we actually have a moral quandary with those whom Rook ends up fighting, even if the content might be seemingly problematic?

Epler might respond in the negative, per the Polygon interview, claiming that the gods “simply don’t care” about the elves.

“Those blighted, decrepit gods, they’re not bothering with the soft pitch. Their pitch is, We’re going to make a horrible world. We’re going to give you a lot of power, and maybe you’ll be OK.”

Like a chess board, the core conflict of The Veilguard is black and white. BioWare abandoned the chance to make Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain more interesting villains because it was too risky.

Similarly risky was Solas’s role as an antagonist, since his motivations, as explained in “Trespasser”, are deeply sympathetic. Perhaps too much so for the developers’ comfort. Unlike the Evanuris and their disinterest in the elves, Solas wants to restore the elven people to their former glory. At least, that seemed to be his pitch in the last game. Frustratingly absent from The Veilguard are the Agents of Fen’Harel – elves who swore fealty to Solas’s cause. They infiltrated and compromised the Inquisition, effectively precipitating the final decision to end the organization in its current form. The idea that Solas had amassed an army of common folk who found the idea of a renewed elven empire appealing made him appear formidable and intimidating. “Trespasser” implies that a mass uprising of elves under Solas’s leadership was imminent, and anyone could be in on it.

None of this happens in The Veilguard. Not only does Solas lack an army, but their absence isn’t explained or even acknowledged. As a result, Solas remains a passive antagonist until near the end, since the player has no disciples of his to contend with (either physically or ideologically) along the way. It wastes a side of his character that had been foreshadowed in a decade-long cliffhanger – that of a charismatic leader, capable of coordinating a rebellion that could spell disaster for its own followers.

In a Reddit AMA after the latest game’s release, Epler answered where the Agents of Fen’Harel disappeared to:

“Solas’ experience leading the rebellion against the Evanuris turned him against the idea of being a leader. You see it in the memories – the entire experience of being in charge ate at him and, ultimately, convinced him he needed to do this on his own. And his own motivations were very different from the motivations of those who wanted to follow him – he had no real regard for their lives or their goals. So at some point between Trespasser and DATV, he severed that connection with his ‘followers’ and went back to being a lone wolf. There are Dalish clans who are sympathetic to his goals, but even there, there’s an understanding that he’s too dangerous to have a more formal connection with, and that he will, ultimately, sacrifice them to his own ends if necessary.”

I find this explanation unsatisfying, not the least bit because the narrative offers next to nothing to imply this. The disappearance of Solas’s agents represents my biggest bugbear with the game, depriving it of the full potential of its highly anticipated antagonist in favor of the more generically villainous Evanuris. Moreover, this omission fits into the aggravating blueprint for The Veilguard’s inoffensive direction. The motivations, emotions, and backgrounds of the Agents of Fen’Harel would be sympathetic, and therefore might problematize the otherwise cut-and-dry conflicts. Epler seemed concerned that audiences might think Solas was “a little too sympathetic in his goals,” according to an interview with GamesRadar+.

But that’s the thing: sympathy isn’t endorsement, and portrayal of sympathetic characters isn’t endorsement either. But neither does that invalidate the emotions and experiences that generate that sympathy, even if the character’s actions ultimately turn toward evil. I’ve noticed a trend (especially in symptomatic criticism, which I generally dislike5) to view art as propaganda, and to evaluate it from a moralizing, top-down perspective. Antagonists with complex or understandable motivations (in this case, revolutionary villains) are often judged by this framework as tools for stories wishing to champion the status quo. Common arguments that I’ve seen imply that the relatability that we often find in villains is not a strength of the writing, but a devilish trick of ideology by which writers can reinforce conservative doctrine, to scold us away from certain beliefs. Any decent writer knows this isn’t the case, and that people don’t write morally or emotionally complex antagonists for didactic purposes. Instead, characters such as these embody the anxieties of their creators – the fear of losing yourself to your passions, the fear of going about things the wrong way, the fear of sacrificing too much to achieve your desired ends. The concepts and feelings that compel these characters remain authentic to the writer’s heart and the connection they established with the audience.

Art isn’t propaganda. To read it as such reduces it and promotes intellectual dishonesty and foolhardy myopia. Stories are irreducible (otherwise, we would not waste our time with them), and so I believe interpretations should be formed from the bottom-up, rooted in the text as much as possible. The “message” cannot be imposed from the top-down, but symptomatic readings, in their focus on tropes and cultural context, frequently condemn without a trial. Hindering your story in order to future-proof it for the sake of optics is a safeguard against this, and one that leads to bad stories. Artists should have confidence that their text will hold its ground on its own. To quote Ursula K. Le Guin’s essay “A Message about Messages”:

“The complex meanings of a serious story or novel can be understood only by participation in the language of the story itself. To translate them into a message or reduce them to a sermon distorts, betrays, and destroys them… Any reduction of that language into intellectual messages is radically, destructively incomplete.” (67-68)

BioWare’s doctrine of passive writing violates this wisdom by surrendering to their fear of (bad) criticism. The Veilguard lacks punch, stakes, and empathy and becomes incongruous with its established lore because it’s not willing to take risks that might alienate or upset players. They’re more concerned with making sure their work is inoffensive than they are with conveying a moving story.

I believe all of this was inherited from an incestuous feedback loop between a vocal minority of critics, of which I might’ve once counted myself among the blameworthy, and the apprehensiveness of out-of-touch corporate board room decision-making. Dragon Age’s genome mutated, and it slowly lost its teeth.

Over the course of a decade, we bred the Dread Wolf into a Dread Pug.

V. What It Took

The Veilguard’s lack of confidence in itself and lack of faith in its audience contribute to its capitulatory nature. In many respects, it feels like the developers lost their passion for it over the course of the ten year hellish production and just wanted to be done with it. This resulted in a decent game that nonetheless feels divorced from what came before it. It tries to juggle being a soft reboot while also trying to close out the series’s biggest and longest running story arcs, but inevitably fumbles.

Nearly everything done by The Veilguard was handled better by Inquisition. And Inquisition was certainly the more ambitious title. Perhaps more returning characters would have established a sense of continuity between the two, or at least made it less awkward by having them present for the story’s grand finale. For as strong as the endgame is, it could’ve benefited from the presence of slave liberator Fenris, elven history aficionado Merrill, possible Evanuris soul vessel Sera, or Divine Victoria (any of them). The core pillar of Dragon Age is the characters, and The Veilguard’s under-performance (and in some cases, outright dismissal) in that regard sabotages its integrity. Without this to anchor it, the changes to gameplay, visuals, and roleplaying depth become more alienating.

Personally, what do I take away from this? The Veilguard is far from the game I dreamed about for ten years, and not the one that loyal fans deserved either. I’m no stranger to disappointment at this point in my life, and yet this still leaves me with a hollow feeling. Will I still be able to return to Inquisition, a game I truly adore, and see it the same way as before, knowing now where all this is leading? The true cost of The Veilguard, for me, has nothing to do with the price tag: it’s the loss of that perfectly tailored dream, now that the possibilities of the future have shut their gates.

Where do those dreams go? Are they doomed to fester in their lonely, incommunicable agony? Will they be twisted by their enmity, like the blighted dreams of the Titans, and spread their corruption into those important happy memories?

In 2014, I was depressed as fuck, and Dragon Age: Inquisition helped me to see the light and come out of it. In 2024, I was depressed as fuck, and Dragon Age: The Veilguard made me feel nothing. There’s no less favorable comparison in my eyes. It’s disheartening to behold something that once meant so much to me and be greeted with numbness. I have to wonder if that affection will ever return, or if I’ve just grown out of it.

But as I wandered the streets of Minrathous as Rook, I heard a familiar song. It was one of the tavern songs from Inquisition, its nostalgic chords filling me with wistful sentiment. I know, deep down, there’s still something there. Maybe I just need to dig it up. Maybe it’s time to look back…

To be continued…

– Hunter Galbraith

Further Reading

Le Guin, Ursula K. “A Message about Messages.” Wonderbook: The Illustrated Guide to Creating Imaginative Fiction, Abrams Image, 2018, pp. 67–68.

Incidentally, this was an anomaly my friends and I pondered over and eventually solved. It turned out to be a former Wienerschnitzel. ↩︎

You could argue that this credit goes more to Inquisition and the previous games for laying the groundwork for said reveals, which were obviously planned out ahead of time, as confirmed by the aforementioned official artbook. Regardless, the payoff satisfied me and gave me proper closure. ↩︎

I’ve been informed that there is a hidden conversation that explains that the Lords of Fortune do, in fact, sell cultural artifacts at times, but only to the rightful owners. This just makes me wonder what they do with the artifacts if the prospective clients can’t pay. Do they shove them back in the ruins and re-arm all the booby traps? ↩︎

I would argue that this does not represent character progression on Isabela’s part, as her (possible, depending on the player’s choices) return of the Tome of Koslun in Dragon Age II was a pragmatic sacrifice she made to save her friends and the city, rather than an acknowledgment of the qunari’s inviolable ownership. In fact, in many continuities, she never returns the Tome at all. ↩︎

I prefer more formalist criticism because it allows the text to lead the dance, not the critique. I think it’s only fair, given that the creators likely spent more effort crafting the piece than I spent consuming it. Symptomatic criticism mandates that the reader consider everything around the text, typically at the text’s expense. In the worst cases, symptomatic critics make their arguments about seemingly everything besides the text in question. ↩︎ Link to article: https://planckstorytime.wordpress.com/2025/01/01/dragon-age-the-veilguard-strangled-by-gentle-hands/

[envy-of-the-apple]

Hi!! This is my first time messaging a writer I really like but I’m high and have enjoyed your work for a while now and just wanted to share my appreciation especially after reading RAST. Sorry in advance for how unorganized this may look.

As a reader, I enjoy your story telling so much. You switch between past and present so fluidly and it makes the “world-building”feel natural while still keeping my interest and moving forward the plot.

I also wanted to compliment you on your ability to story tell so well while also staying true to the personality of the characters you write about. (I have specific examples I will detail later in this message from RAST because you did such a wonderful job of translating dynamics from the JJK universe into a Mafia AU)

I just wanted to share Little Details From RAST I enjoyed/made me really think

1.Grabbing Gojo’s wrist when he reaches for your skirt/panties happens both at the beginning and the end. I like how there’s a difference in Gojo’s reaction. The first time, he lightly dismissing your actions when he doesn’t have any genuine interest in you. The tension between Gojo in Ms. Gem later on is so telling because now Gojo knows all cards have been revealed and expects to be rewarded. It’s like when a dog finally gets their jaws on a toy and growls when you try to take it away.

2.(This detail I noted is an example of themes from the JJK universe translating well into your Mafia AU)In the JJK universe, there is definitely a patriarchal system in place which leads misogyny displayed in characters like Naoya. Your AU does a good job of portraying this culture as well from the start. It’s shared that the men of the organization don’t like women with “nasty attitude. It’s def implied that most men hold higher positions of power. It results in the events where we see other men laughing at Gem when she’s being groped by guards or being humiliated by Geto during his meeting.

3.(This goes for all your SatoSugu fics but especially in RAST) I love love love your characterization of Geto and Gojo. You’re very good at capturing personalities of characters but it’s especially clear in the SatoSugu fics you write because the dialogue is true to how they would speak to their darling AND eachother.

4.Through RAST, I was actually able to understand the personalities of Geto and Gojo in the manga better!It makes sense for Geto to be so controlled in personality because a controlled/calculating demeanor would only way for Geto to move up in ranks within the Yakuza and eventually meet and be on equal footing with Gojo. In the JJK world we see that Gojo really values Geto because Geto is on the same level as Gojo, but I forget that Geto must’ve clearly worked really hard to get to that level both in terms of skill and respect because he was born to a non-sorcerer family.With Gojo being apart of the sorcerer world/yakuza family by blood and always being reminded of how much power he has, it makes sense he would be so uncaring of social norms and so freely in Ms. Gem’s personal space.I can also see why, as you mentioned in another post, Geto doesn’t like to get his hands dirty, he’d be the type to see how to milk a situation for the most benefit rather than lashing out as Gojo would. (i.e. Gojo immediately throwing hands when the other yakuza family member touched Ms. Gem while Getou immediately seeing a chance to push Ms. Gem into their arms without a fit)

5. The car scene is actually lowkey funny bc they really do treat her like a pet on a road trip and ofc Gojo is the one watching cat videos lmaooo

7. You have this pattern in your writing (I like to think of it as a writer’s signature) of having questions by the reader go unanswered by the yandere while having phrases of affections by yanderes be barely acknowledged and I LOVE it. Every time I see it I eat it up because it’s so… akdjsjd

8. I love to see the SEM and EKM make an appearance in the last scene

Please correct me if any of my analysis in my thoughts are wrong and sorry in advance if that happens!! I truly enjoy the effort you put in as a writer

[cbk1000]

Hi there!

Ive recently stumbled across your works, and I just wanted to say that I enjoy your writing soso much!! Each time i read any of ur pieces, i feel ever so blessed that i can read them for freee,,, ??like wow!! I absolutely love your characterization of arthur, and any piece of banter you write never fails to make me laugh!

Your writing style is so addictive, ive honestly found myself missing it when I read anything else. Because of this, id like to ask if you have any book recs? hehee anything that inspired that brain and writing of yours seems like it would be a worthwile read!! From ur alltime favs, or recent favs, comfort books, or books that gave u personal epiphanies, pls feel free to not hold back !! (If its not too much trouble)

And once again, thank you soso much for all your lovely works!! 💗

I LOVE talking about books, so thank you so much for this ask. This is a very truncated list of some of my favourite authors and books because if I wanted to talk about all of them, that would be a post as long as one of my fics.

First up is Terry Pratchett, who I came to rather late; I just started reading Discworld in 2020, despite @clonemaster-general and @jinxedwood telling me years earlier I should read him, so they should feel free to be smug about the fact that I ignored their sound advice for a long time and then went, "Ok, where do I sign up for the cult" after reading approximately one (1) Pratchett novel.

Discworld is a fantasy satire series that's over 40 books long, but those 40+ books simply take place in the same world and do not have to be read in order, although I would recommend reading any subseries featuring the same characters in order (the City Watch books starting with 'Guards! Guards', the Witches starting with ''Wyrd Sisters' etc.) Pratchett did write some non-Discworld books, although the bulk of his very large body of work is that series. He was a very gifted writer who was able to present the stupidity and injustices of humanity in a way that made you laugh and feel that it's bearable to live alongside these things. No other author has made me laugh so much at dumb little puns or dick jokes and then suddenly slapped me with a banger of a line about human nature.

'The Once and Future King' by T.H. White. A retelling of Malory's 'Le Morte d'Arthur'. It's silly, it's touching, it asks why humans go to war. If you're tired of relentless grimdark, this book shows you that a novel can explore serious themes and ask serious questions of its readers while also being a bit silly and stupid, because like suffering, silliness and stupidity is an intrinsic part of the human experience.

'The Left Hand of Darkness' by Ursula Le Guin. I could really just say, "All of Ursula Le Guin's stuff" because I've read several novels, a ton of her short stories, plus most of her essay collections and I've loved them all, but I wanted to mention this one particularly because Le Guin was examining our ideas of gender and society in the fucking 60s and I'm tired of hearing right-wing nutjobs bang on about trans people like they're some alien species newly landed on our planet to kidnap our children. Also, what I love about Le Guin's sci-fi is that she was concerned primarily with the culture of alien societies, not laser guns, and her world building is incredibly deep in that regard. Her father was an anthropologist, and you can see how his studies shaped her writing.

'The Lymond Chronicles' by Dorothy Dunnett. I love me a good swashbuckler, and these are some good swashbucklers. There's also some really beautiful prose that really evokes the landscapes of 15th century Europe, and her action/battle scenes are some of the most gripping I've read. The caveat with this one is that I actually don't like the main character all that much; he's a real special guy who speaks all the languages, is good at all the things, is a master strategist at 20, and is hot to boot. But the story is told mostly through the POVs of other characters that get caught up in his exploits so you're not stuck in his insufferable perspective, and I found the books overall (there are six in the series) very hard to put down.

'The Count of Monte Cristo' by Alexandre Dumas. The OG swashbuckler, really. Shipwrecks! Duels! Poison! Revenge! People just don't do dramatic adventure novels like Dumas anymore.

'War and Peace' by Tolstoy. I can't not mention this; I've read it twice so far in English and once in Russian. Tolstoy was an amazing observer of human nature. Also, he clearly thought Napoleon was a little bitch and reading about him from the perspective of a Russian novelist is quite entertaining after reading about him from Victor Hugo's perspective.

'Les Miserables' by Victor Hugo. I also have to mention this one. Yes, there are very lengthy asides on the Parisian sewer system. In the middle of a chase scene. But tbh, Hugo was curious about everything and while maybe he talked about every single one of those things a bit too long, it still endears him to me. Also, he was known more as a poet than a novelist by contemporary readers, and even in translation I think the fact that he was a poet really comes through in the prose.

Also, really anything by Patricia McKillip if you want dreamy, poetic fantasy that feels like being dropped right into the middle of a fairytale where magic has no hard rules and is something a bit wild and dangerous and beautiful.

I also read a lot of non-fiction, so I'll just list a few of my faves: 'Survival in Auschwitz' by Primo Levi; 'The Gulag Archipelago' by Alexandre Solzhenitsyn; James Herriott's 'All Creatures Great and Small' series; 'Landmarks' by Robert Macfarlane (but really any of his nature writing; this one I liked particularly because it's about the power of language to evoke a sense of place and how our vocabulary for the natural world is slowly being subsumed by our increasingly technologically-driven world). 'The Demon-Haunted World' by Carl Sagan, which was written in the 90s but if anything is even more relevant today as we struggle with parsing the mythology of pseudoscience and the real-world harm it perpetuates.

And I read a fuck ton of poetry, so I'll just rattle off a list of some of my favourite poets: Wilfred Owen, Isaac Rosenberg, Siegfried Sassoon, Rupert Brooks, Edward Thomas (I also love his nature writing), Alexandre Blok, Pushkin, Ursula Le Guin (she's primarily known as a novelist, but she has some very good poetry as well), Mikhail Lermontov, Anna Akhmatova, Alexander Pope, Tennyson (particularly Idylls of the King), Seamus Heaney, and Yeats.

Anyway, this is a small sampler of books I've read and loved.

[lunarleonardo]

hihi!!! :D fanfic author to another fanfic author hehe

i’ve read all of your drv3 fanfics and they are very intriguing, in canon characterizations, plot driven stories that make me very happy to read and look forward for more! (abso love trans shuichi hc too aaa)

i was wondering if you make pre-planned outlines for your fanfics or do you go straight into writing and planning it as you go? i’m struggling in finding a fitting method myself to write my fanfics because i often jump straight into writing, but that got me stumped in my writings at times. asking for advice because i really love your compelling writing style but you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to :D!

First of all... Hi! :D Thank you so much!! I do my best <3 💕

Second... Oh boy, I sure do have a process xD (this might be a long post but I like yapping and overexplaining so bear with me qwq)

if you don't want to read it all though, the shorter answer is: Kind of? I don't fully plan it out, but I don't always totally wing it. I take notes and I build off of important scenes, and then I jump in and hope for the best lol

When I first decide I want to write something with intent to post it, I create a document soley for *notes*. Theres a few things I note before and when writing.

1. I replay/rewatch the canon game and take notes on everything I possibly can. For example! I'm replaying DRV3 chapter 5 (cus i, unfortunately, had an idea q_q). I note down what I see as important or what really stands out to me :) Hell, sometimes I'll even "transcript" down canon dialogue! For example, this is what some of my notes look like (ss1 is taken from my drv3 c5 notes, ss2 is taken from my blue eyes notes):

2. Little things matter. When starting my notes, I often write down the date I started and the basic synopsis of what the story will be about. I try to think of a name for the fic later because my #1 weakness is naming things >.> ... But also! Writing down the important details of your story is suuuper helpful, because you don't want to lose track of stuff like that!! It can prevent accidental retconning, unnecessary repetitions, and stuff like that 'cause i ran out of examples... Oh well. Here's a screenshot of the start of my notes for Motive 5 (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

3. Believe it or not... i don't always plan ahead. I write a lot of my fics with one or more certain scenes in mind, and then I blink and there's suddenly a 7k word document in front of me and Oh Fuck I accidentally made a whole fanfic on that one idea. It happens more than you'd think. Using Motive 5 as an example again, there were a few scenes I had in mind when I was first writing! I don't remember what order they came to me in, but a few significant ones I fell asleep to was Shuichi losing his hand, Hajime and Maki facing off, Nagito and Shuichi meeting after the Coffin Puzzle, and the aftermath of Shuichi's "punishment" (PS. did you know he was originally gonna be tortured with sound? then i wanted to hang him from the ceiling periodically, but i gave that up for the "detention" theme.) this one is getting long but when it comes to planning, I always build off of important scenes in my mind. "How can I make this happen?" "What do I do to make this/these character(s) react like this?" or, my favorite... "What can I do to totally fuck up these sad gay losers?"

You mentioned you get stumped writing sometimes, and THAT'S OKAY. i do too. Chapter 8 of Fever Frost was a whole ordeal because I realized "wait. Kokichi would never confess his feelings first in this situation??!!!" While planning ahead may certainly help save you from some of those moments, they won't stop it entirely. It does feel really refreshing when you manage to skirt your way around the issue, so really what can you do ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

So yeah, I do kind of plan ahead. I plan MOST of the plot (I didn't even know I was gonna kill someone in Fever Frost at first >.>) and then as you write, stuff tends to tie together and build from there. In my experience, 70% of writing is just "shit kinda happens" xD

This is just how I do it, and it's okay if it doesn't work for you. I'm just the kind of person that will replay an entire game to write a fanfiction (⁠─⁠.⁠─⁠|⁠|⁠）I hope this could help a little, though! Good luck on your fics! :3💕

[amaiguri]

Yssaia

⚜️NaNoWriMo WIP 2024⚜️

"All promised heroes burn. Who are they now?"

In a world of fated heroes and abyssal machines -- born both of Kings and Philosophy --, a burned assassin girl must find new purpose when the War ends.

Untitled Yssaia Game will someday become a narrative-focused, hand-drawn adventure. Navigate an assassin through her delicate, brutal world after the War annexed her homeland. Delve deep into political dealings, your past trauma, and the Abyss beneath the world.

...but for today, it's still just a very large Reedsy document, some art, and a handful of songs.

🏆THE CHALLENGE'S OBJECTIVE🏆

This NaNoWriMo, I just want to write every day. I don't have the time or breakneck pace to do the traditional 50k words. I also want to log my progress cuz every year, I don't journal as much as I should and every year, I regret that. My memory and sense of time is better when I journal. So, we gotta get back into it, once again.

In terms of my current progress, there are about 245k words in this wip -- though it has multiple story arcs. We'll see what the market says to do with it, as we get closer to video game form... I have done a round or two of editing maybe? It doesn't feel like it but I also spent since February of last year editing. I thought it was going to take a month. It did not. 😭😭😭 Now, I am back to drafting -- thank God. Right now, I'm drafting a story arc about my protagonist struggling with her new relationships, falling into old toxic patterns, and discovering the enemies of her enemies -- the Gods.

🧑‍🧑‍🧒CHARACTERS🧑‍🧑‍🧒

Yssaia is multi-POV and has a lot of perspectives with unequal time. If I were a perfect creator, I'd give them increasingly equal time throughout the work -- and end the story with characters taking turns between paragraphs in the battle against the Gods. This is all part of a giant experiment in which I fight against Great Man History. We'll see if it works lol cuz it sounds insane but that's legitimately why I'm showing so many different perspectives.

Naturally, there are many more characters and POVs than the ones pictured here.

The characters all have a lot of anime influence -- not just in their visual language, but also in their characterization -- but they also take a lot of influence from those Literary Fiction short stories I had to read in college. They're all written in a retrospective first person and verb all their nouns and have some sort of linguistic quirk for their POV. I mean like "One POV has 2nd person" kind of quirk. I love playing with form. I don't WANT you to feel like my work is super easy to read -- I want you to THINK about it.

🌩THE GODS OF YSSAIA🌬

The currently fighting Gods of Yssaia are basically representing Connection, Conquest, and Despair. Something something thematic arguments for a modern age but ALSO "use the power of friendship to kill God." The Gods all have what I like to call "humansonas" (think like the Christian Jesus) whom are represented below:

🗺THE WORLDBUILDING🗺

I have been working on Yssaia since 2018, so the worldbuilding has only gotten deeper and deeper. While the shape of the world and the general cultures have remained the same, they've all gotten a lot more nuance and geographical fidelity and also, conlangs: I have conlangs for every culture in the language and I'm very proud because language and power is one of the themes I like to play with. Yes, that's an IB thing. If you're interested in worldbuilding or conlanging, I actually run a worldbuilding YouTube channel so come check it out.

But if I had to summarize it, my world building is "Fantasy 1880s-1910s with a melancholic but whimsical feel and cute eldritch horrors. All the cultures are a mixture between Asian and Western cultures" (like Chinese Vikings, Japanese French-Mafias, Communist Grecoromans, and Slavic Indians, etc.) I have endeavored to ensure there is something about each culture that is "my favorite" -- ama about my worldbuilding 🥺💜

Follow for Part 2, when I talk about the game design someday!

[tealmoth]

also "darkfic au that got out of control" is such a funny description to me 😭 im curious as to why you think so personally i thought it was pretty balanced in heavy and lighthearted moments and considering the themes like the effects of imperialism i dont see why it wouldnt be handled as such. havent watched in a while tho idk

oooohh okay so this’ll be a fun thing to answer because i’ve been desperate to ramble about ‘03 plot points to anyone who will listen all week. so for me, honestly, the darkfic vibes come more from how deeply it dredges into the dark aspects, if that makes any sense?? most of what’s “dark” in ‘03 already exists and is explored in brotherhood, like the imperialism aspects as you mentioned, as well as grief and trauma and everything else that comes prepackaged with fma’s core story. but brotherhood handled these in a very shonen way (which is to be expected, of course). the darkness pushes the characters forward, makes them fight on. even when they’re at the brink, they’re called back by a loved one, or by their own convictions, and it retains an overall positive feel.

meanwhile in ‘03, i get the specific vibe that the writers looked at the story they already had, and asked themselves “how can this be worse??”

(inserting a read more because i’m about to go on a MASSIVE tangent, sorry.)

and so, here are some of the specific darker aspects that stood out the most to me:

the build-up to nina is given far more screentime and its place in the timeline is totally different. not only are the elrics so much younger here, but they’re also essentially a part of the tucker family for the better part of several months iirc. they also witness the direct aftermath of her death at the hands of scar (which is also implied to be FAR more gruesome here), whereas in brotherhood they find out from riza the morning after it happens.

there’s the whole barry ordeal which afaik doesn’t serve much purpose other than it, well, being kinda neat to see pre-armor barry. and i could totally be misremembering here and/or missing something important but the whole episode just stands out to me as “hey, i don’t think that ed’s had enough trauma yet. let’s sprinkle in some attempted murder.”

everything with the laboratory, holy shit. tucker’s reappearance, the attempts at recreating nina, the prisoners, everything with kimblee, the way ed almost activates the array, ALL OF IT is insane in this version.

al’s doubts about his memories and his origins is a longer arc and leads to more conflict with ed in this version.

mustang and winry’s parents. mustang’s suicide attempt. everything with mustang that’s not comic relief (which there’s still plenty of).

as stated in the tags of my first ‘03 post, the utilization of rose’s character is a really intense departure (while interesting!!) that completely took me aback.

the entirely different lore surrounding the homunculi is both incredibly fascinating and a lot to take in, and it leads to them being far more mentally vulnerable and tormented characters than they are in brotherhood. the contrast alone between the development greed gets in brotherhood (using him as an example since he effectively has the most character growth out of the homunculi there) and the development that lust, wrath, and sloth get in ‘03 stands out the most to me.

sloth in general. it’s a wildly fascinating take and, in addition to REALLY hammering in the themes surrounding their mother’s transmutation, also stands to provide even more trauma for the elrics.

and on that subject, the adults are far less present for the boys in this version. that’s not to say that they’re like “parents” or anything in brotherhood, but they’re a lot more openly concerned for them in a personal, affectionate way in that show. whereas here, especially in the early segments, i’m pretty sure that ed could have died in a ditch somewhere and they wouldn’t have noticed for at least a week.

scar’s characterization is more vulnerable here and both his death and the events leading up to it are insane.

and that’s not even getting into everything with dante, which deserves its own post.

with all that said, i’m also not even done with this show yet. i still have four eps left!!

but, all rambling aside, that’s what specifically gave me the darkfic sort of vibe. not to demean the show or reduce it to fanfic terms, or anything; it’s still very interesting and competent writing. but it just gives me so much whiplash when compared to brotherhood’s overarching feelings of hope and the ability to fight back and change the future for the better. it feels soul-nourishing to me, in a way. meanwhile, ‘03 is like a cavalcade of trauma, all provoked by the question “you know what’d be really fucked up??”

[lemonhemlock]

It's so hilarious that some people desperately want Aegon to be Daemon's parallel and foil despite it's doesn't make any sense in terms of characterization , narrative and in terms of themes as well. Just because you know they happen to like Aemond and don't want him to be associated with daemon in any possible way. Despite the fact that Aemond was literally created in the first place to be Daemon's foil and therefore Aemond's whole characterization, his arc and even his death all of it have been made in the way they are in the book based on this simple fact , that Aemond (and none else beside him) is Daemon's foil. Aemond will never be Jon snow or jaime lannister type of a character no matter of how many times the showrunners try to whitewash him . His arc will still be the same despite everything else. That's fine to like Aemond and appreciate him for the villain he is without trying to make him this pure good-hearted person because none in the dance of dragons are . And Rhaenyra is the Matilda of this story and Aegon ii is Stephen ii , so yes Rhaenyra's true foil and parallel is her little brother who was the person who took the throne away from her and ended up killing her like Daemon ended up killing his foil. The only reason why this corny dialogue exited in the first place "tis i who studied the blade and philosophy" is because ryan got a boner for Aemond of all the other characters, while calling Alicent a woman for trump at the same time when she was a charismatic political shrewd and strong woman in the book (mix of margary and Cersei) this is woke misogyny at it's finest

I agree with Daemon/Aemond being foils and Rhaenyra/Aegon being foils, highlighted by the fact that they die by the hand of their narrative counterparts.

That being said, I'm not gonna lie to you, I really love and much prefer what they did to Aemond in the show. It proves that they can take what was basically an anime villain and properly build him up and humanize him. Generally speaking, I much prefer it when characters receive the multi-layered treatment, because it's better for the story overall to have complex characters than one-note NPCs. So I don't take issue with show!Aemond and wouldn't change him. And, yes, that goes even for team black - I don't have a problem with Rhaenyra being more sympathetic as I have with the unbalanced way the factions are presented.

But I must wonder, from a story telling perspective, when they all sat down thinking how to adapt FB into HOTD, how did they look at the text and decide that Aegon is the awful one (taking Mushroom at his word), whereas Aemond is the one who should undergo a rehabilitation?

Because, at the same time, you have this weird situation where Olivia doesn't know how to apologise more for Alicent in interviews and makes concession after concession to Rhaenyra-sympathizers, like how clearly Alicent is in the wrong to prioritize her own son's ascension over Rhaenyra's (?) or how her two sons are terrible people and she just ends up upholding the patriarchy for her male children.

But, then again, how is Aemond so terrible judging by the way he has been written so far? He hasn't done anything other than do his homework and brood. I find it very hard to believe that Olivia looked at Aemond's characterization in S1 alone and came to that conclusion, so IMO it's more possible someone briefed her to say that. But whether it was Miguel Sapochnik's idea to push for this narrative of terrible Aemond (though he directed the Driftmark episode) or it was Ryan Condal's idea, I cannot say, but something is happening, because they are not on the same page.

Someone in the creative team must really like Alicent to push for her humanization, but someone else must really have it out for her, hence this inconsistent messaging and the flip-floping in her motivations from episode to episode. And it's funny because, by targeting Alicent's capabilities as a mother, they also end up damaging Aemond's pristine reputation. So, which is it? Is Alicent a bad mother and Aemond a psychopath (although you took great pains on screen to show him differently) or is Aegon just an outlier and she has 3/4 lovely children who are just doomed to be irreversibly changed by massive trauma?

It's extra strange because Aemond's characterization is very straightforward and consistent, he doesn't flip-flop in his motivations and desires, so the writers must have decided on a clear thread with him and are seeing it through. Whereas for Alicent, they tell Olivia that both her sons are awful (?) and that she deep down thinks Rhaenyra would make a better monarch than her children.

I know there is a possibility that, when she was making those statements, Olivia was just influenced by the character work she is doing for S2, in which Aemond's character will get darker post-Storm's End. But she was still referring to Alicent in The Green Council, when she's actively making preparations to crown Aegon at Rhaenyra's "expense". Before Aemond has had any opportunity to go berserk. There have been way too many instances in which the people involved in the show, whether they be actors, writers or producers (or even GRRM with Daeron) came out and publicly said one thing, while the actual media text doesn't hold that up at all.

[flieslikeamoron]

Okay, here's the rest!

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

I'm not going to tell you the words I use too much because once I point them out you won't stop seeing it lol. But I do have recurring things. I write a lot of people getting drunk. I don't drink so that's kind of funny, but it's a useful way to write people at their silliest or their most truthful or to loosen up a tough nut, make a control freak lose control, etc. I write a lot of secret relationships. I write a lot of us against the world stuff, and I do love it when that relationship is a bit too close to be "healthy." I like making people who don't want to, or are scared to, fall in love fall in love. I write a lot of pining. I love pining while fucking especially. I'm sure there are others. 

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Characterization always. I'll never sacrifice character for a plot point. And I think my characters are distinct. Like the characters I write for one fandom aren't the same ones I write in every fandom. Dialogue that sounds like how people talk. Porn is my art etc.

64. Something you love to see in smut.

Specificity. I don't mean specific sex acts, or some specific description of them. But smut that's specific to the characters in that story. I feel like a lot of people write generic sex scenes. The same generic porn dialogue. The same generic tab a in slot b stuff. No matter what fandom or characters, it's the same scenes. I don't mean writers need to come up with more creative, weirder, kinkier sex acts. (I'm pro-kink but that's not what I mean.) No a simple blowjob, a handjob, ass fucking, whatever. Even if you're talking about the basics those things shouldn't be generic. All sex shares some basic building blocks, but the sex you have with different partners is different! If the smut could be cut/pasted into any fic, that's boring. That's why people talk about skipping over smut scenes. It's because it's the same scenes we've all read before. It's because it's like you've stopped telling your story to "INSERT SMUT HERE" instead of making the smut part of the story.

What's actually hot is thinking about how these characters, these very individual and specific ones, would get each other off.  So what I love to see in smut are little things, little intimacies that feel specific to these two people. I like it when the way they're talking to each other and touching each other and turning each other on feels specific to them, and also specific to the situation. Like in Sleight of Hand the first blowjob Eddie gives Steve is a very different vibe from the first blowjob Steve gives Eddie, and it's because those are different characters in different situations. Just... Specificity.

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of Sleight of Hand? 

Yeah, some of the ones I can remember... There was a thing where Eddie finds the nail bat. There was going to be a thing where Eddie and Jonathan talk, and Eddie asks him if he's ever worried Nancy will go back to Steve. There was going to be a thing where Steve and Eddie fuck on ecstasy. I took a thing with everybody at the diner out of chapter 18. IDK lots of things. Most of them never got fully written anyway, but I had like four or five versions of the nail bat scene. In the end I needed Eddie trusting Steve to put on the cuffs, and no matter how I tried to write it, it just introduced too much doubt. I spent a few days writing all these versions trying to get them back to status quo by the end so I could get on with the rest of the fic. But I was trying to force it so it wouldn't affect the rest of the plot, and that always plays false.

Since I'm already all up in my cut folder, here's a DVD deleted scene. It was going to be either when they're going to Dustin's or when they're going to the lake. Either way it doesn't work.

---

“Um, Steve?” Eddie says. “Why is there a bat with fucking nails through it in your trunk?” Ah. Steve had sort of forgotten that was back there. Eddie hefts it in his hand, and swings it experimentally. “This is like post-apocalyptic, man. It’s like Snake Plissken shit.” He looks at the nail end more closely. “Does this have blood on it?” 

Not human blood. Steve takes the bat out of Eddie’s hand and puts it back in his trunk. Closes it like if he can’t see it, Eddie will forget about the whole thing. He grasps desperately for a believable lie. It’s for emergencies? It’s for car trouble? Self-defense? “It was for Halloween,” is what he comes up with.

“Halloween was forever ago,” Eddie says skeptically. “Why’s it still in your trunk?”

“I forgot it was there.”

Eddie keeps looking at him, sharp-eyed. Seeing right through him. “What costume was it?” 

Jesus. If this is going to be a whole interrogation, Steve’s not going to hold up under questioning. “That guy,” he tries. “Snake Pimpkin?”

Eddie snorts. “You know I can tell when you’re lying, right? You’re fucking bad at it.”

“Can we go?” Steve says. “You can keep bugging me in the car if you want.”

“I’m not bugging you,” Eddie says, but he gets into the passenger’s seat. Thank God. Steve quickly follows and starts pulling out so Eddie can’t change his mind. “It’s a little weird that you have an apocalypse bat,” Eddie says. ”But it’s very, very weird you’re lying about it.”

“You lie about stuff.”

“Not stuff like- Weapons.” He frowns. “Is it- Billy? Or those guys?” Steve tightens his grip on the steering wheel. Eddie looks at him disbelieving. “You’re really not gonna tell me?” 

What if Steve just said it. Just- Monsters are real. They killed Barb. They killed that guy who worked at the Radio Shack. Maybe Eddie would believe him. He’s into all that fantasy stuff. He knows what a demogorgon is. At least the version in his D&D books. But- Monsters in books is different. Steve doesn’t know if he could tell it well enough to make Eddie believe him when it sounds fucking crazy. Demodogs and government conspiracies and possessed little kids and underground tunnels and things coming out of the fucking walls… Hell, he barely believed it himself the first time, and he actually saw it.

Steve looks at him, agonized. 

”Wow,” he says. “You’re really not. I’m-” Eddie pulls some of his hair in front of his mouth, looking at Steve like he’s never seen him before. Studying him. “I think- I need a minute to adjust here.” 

“What do mean- Adjust.”

“I mean this is bigger, and it’s fucking weirder, than the kind of secret I thought you were capable of keeping. So if I was wrong about that-” He shrugs. “Who fucking knows.”

“So you can’t trust me if I don’t tell you,” Steve says. “But if I do, you won’t fucking believe me.” 

“You don’t know I wont believe you.”

“I wouldn’t,” Steve mutters. He  looks over at Eddie. “I don’t- Ask you about your mom or your dad or-” Or where you learned to suck cock or why you don’t want me to tell you how I feel about you.

Something hard ticks over Eddie’s face. “Yeah?” he says. “And I don’t ask you where your bruises come from, or why you have nightmares so bad you came looking for me in the first place, or why you’re not okay even though you keep fucking saying you’re okay-”

“I get it,” Steve breaks in.

“I’d say we’re pretty even on the mind your business front.” Eddie kicks at the footwell, his arms crossed defensively. Steve keeps his eyes on the road. He doesn’t- He can’t think of anything to say. To make it better. “We all have our secrets,” Eddie finally says, relenting. “You can have yours. But this feels different.”

“I want to tell you,” Steve says. “But it sounds crazy. And I can’t- Prove it.” And the gate is closed. “And the reason I have that,” Steve says. “It’s gone now.”

Eddie cocks his head. “If it’s gone, why is the bat still in your trunk?”

Steve swallows, jaw clenching. Why does he still have the bat? He knows why. He just- Tries not to think about that. He dips his head in acknowledgement. “Because, I don’t believe it’s really gone. For good.”

Eddie rubs at his face with his hands, looking up at Steve a little wild in the eyes. “None of this is inspiring faith, man.”

“If the reason I have that bat ever becomes a- Thing you need to know about. If it does ever come back, I’ll tell you everything, I promise,” Steve says. “Can you trust me?”

Eddie looks at him for a long moment, looks at him like he’s trying to see all the way inside him. And then gives a one shouldered shrug. “Fine. Keep your secrets."

[doomsayings]

i'm curious.. what are some movies that you think are good adaptations of their books (like dracula, hill house, etc)? or movies that aren't the best adaptations but you would still recommend

HI ANON I LOVE THIS QUESTION!! Film adaptation of books is a topic that interests me deeply because I think there’s so many factors that go into whether or not an adaptation is successful, including things that are very subjective and situational… I’m definitely of the mind that an adaptation needn’t be super exact or faithful to be good, in fact some of my favorite adaptations take a lot of liberties with the source material to tell a better story via it’s given medium (film or tv), and intentionally use things specific to film like cinematography/sound/visual/design to translate the book onto screen

An example of an adaptation I loved, and that I think is an interesting case study of the subject at hand is crash (1996). I once uploaded a video of cronenberg’s press conference with the original author, JG Ballard, who personally loves the movie says during it that he think it’s best movie adaptation of a book ever lol Despite all the differences!!! Cronenberg dropped whole plot lines from the book (such as the Elizabeth Taylor one), went very minimalist on the script to focus on capturing the experience of the book.

The book itself is of course crazy non-stop bash of violent and erotic prose about car crashes, so I think it’s effective that Cronenberg spends so much time obsessively lingering over the sex and violence. It’s an approach slower and more clinical than the book BUT. I remember him saying that the point of the movie is that by the end, your sense of eroticism and it’s scope should have slowly shifted to accommodate the world of the movie. It’s the same effect the book has!! Which is why it works as an adaptation for me

You mention hill house, it’s really unfortunate that I don’t think it’s ever gotten a proper adaptation that I like though I’ve seen all of them :( I’ve said before on here that I really disliked Mike Flanagan’s approach, again, not because I dislike changes to a story! But bc I think the changes he made flattened the characters and relationships. I also think his style of directing isn’t capable of translating the gothic world of Shirley Jackson stories…he has too incessant of a need to overexplain his themes and none of the strange whimsy. I’ve actually said I think stoker 2013 is waaaaay more successful at emulating Shirley Jackson, and setting the tone for character like India/Merricat because of the directing. The strange and purposeful cinematography does so much to characterize India, in the same way that Jackson’s prose introduces us to Merricat’s rituals and magic…

SORRY THIS GOT REALLY LONG. In general I am very forgiving of adaptations if I personally think they are beautiful or fun (dracula 1992 and Roger Corman adapting Edgar Allen Poe, respectively). There are also some times where I actually enjoy the movie better than the book! (the talented mr. ripely or re-animator 1985). Like Stuart Gordon and his lovecraft adaptations, sometimes it really becomes a thing of its own, almost entirely separate from the books and I can still respect that too! Films can build up their own lore and canon, and i think it can be fun :)

[yurisorcerer]

So, I've been sick the past couple days. This led to me watching the Code Geass compilation movies. I don't know, the brain works in mysterious ways.

God, Code Geass.

This was another one of those anime things that was just omnipresent for a while in the late '00s. I think it's held up a lot better than its one-time sort-of-rival Death Note, but that's a very low bar to clear (I do not like Death Note at all). Code Geass, or at least the refracted form of it presented here in these recap movies (and going off of my own memories of the original show), is a series I like but don't really....respect. I don't personally get that feeling super often, usually it's the other way around.

It's hard to pin exactly why that is. It's not the campiness---I love that stuff---and it's not the characters, most of whom I genuinely really like. I think it's down to the narrative and what comes out of that narrative. Code Geass' themes and *especially* its political ideas are very....haphazard? They're definitely there; the idea that power corrupts, the question of what it means to deceive, political ideas about war, genocide, colonialism, and so on, but they feel surprisingly incoherent for a show whose central premise builds off the fact that it's taking place in an occupied country. There's a very strong FEELING of there being a big struggle between ideas, but I think that feeling is mostly illusory. The show's characters end up being defined more by their personal connections. Even the proposed duality of Lelouch as the pragmatist and Suzaku as the idealist seems to exist mostly to be taken apart over the course of the story.

On the other hand, maybe that's a good thing? Maybe---intentionally or not---that's what we should be taking out of this, that big ideals tend to falter in the face of the much more immediate pull of the people we love and hate? I don't know, that feels like giving the series a pass in a way I'm not sure I'm totally onboard with.

I'm spending a lot of time criticizing it here, but I do actually like this series. I think for its faults it works really well on a moment to moment level and it hits just an absolute ton of my personal buttons; big mecha fights, rapidfire mind games, and a generally theatrical sense of characterization.

The movies also change a few things from the original series. Mostly these are for the better; Shirley survives the entirety of the recap films, for example, and the entirety of Mao's character and plotline are---thank fuck---ommitted. Some of them I don't really get; Nina is less driven by being a Crazy Lesbian TM which is a good thing for sure, but also the motivation that makes up for that (mostly just being a hysterical racist) clunks off the narrative in a really uncomfortable way, since the series doesn't really address it. Ech.

Also the pacing of the three films both individually and in aggregate is absolutely horrible, like, people complain about pacing in stuff *all the time* but this is some of the worst I've seen in a modern anime production. An advantage the original series had was that, for all its weird detours about, say, Kallen's mom being a fantasy-drug addict or whatever, you got to spend more actual *time* with the characters, so they felt a bit more fully realized. This is definitely a case where the recap films do expect you to be familiar with the original despite making some of those changes. Which is itself fair enough in of itself I suppose, they are called RECAP films after all, but it did make me cognizant of the fact that like, it mostly sort of smears over the reasons people got super attached to characters like (again) Kallen, or Jeremiah. They both get plenty of screentime in these movies and they're absolutely great in what time they do get (and this is the case for a number of other characters as well), but the sheer difference in how these things are structured vis a vis the original show does reveal a few shortcomings of the format. IDK, I feel like I'm writing in circles at this point and again am coming off as more critical than I want to be.

Let me talk about something I think really shines in the movies. You know who's great in these films? This fuckin guy.

Lelouch is, to me, a hysterical fucking character. Bundle of contradictions, impossibly cool loser, gay as hell but always ends up with a woman because Reasons. When I was a youngish teen and watched Code Geass for the first time I had zero idea who Char Aznable was, but, like, this is pretty uncontroversial, right? Lelouch Lamperouge is the millennial Char. He is our forefathers' accomplishments handed down to us as farce. I absolutely hate him, and I hate that I still think he's as super fucking cool as I did when I first watched this story at age 14. My favorite scene in all three movies combined was when he got stabbed in the heart and died, and many of the other scenes I really liked involved him doing something extra. I'm going to bet his death doesn't stick, given that the sequel film to this trilogy (which is an original story!) is called Lelouch of the Re;surrection. What is that semicolon doing there. I'm the last person on earth who should be talking about semicolon placement but come on.

Some other thoughts:

When I was in high school I got into an argument with a friend over whether Kallen's knightmare frame (god, the mecha are fucking called knightmare frames), the Guren, was the coolest giant robot of all time. I don't stand by that assertion itself, but I do think its big hand weapon the Wave Surger is one of the sickest fucking things in this or any mecha series

For being in large part about how colonialism sucks, this series sure isn't in a hurry to visit any part of the world that's actually affected strongly by it IRL, huh? I get that there are Watsonian reasons for this but c'mon.

Kallen and Lelouch's romance in this is even less convincing than it was in the original series which is honestly impressive

Opposite of the above, I find Lelouch / C.C. a little more believable this go-around. Not sure how much of that is it being meaningfully different here vs. me just changing as a person as I've gotten older vs. who knows what else

the entirety of the World of C stuff is still so fucking bizarre to me. it's been years and I still cannot figure out for the life of me why that was how they chose to resolve that whole thing. It feels deliberate, though, because it's not really altered in any major way here and Gorou Taniguchi did something similar in Back Arrow (it kind of fit better there because that show is just weird as hell to begin with, but still, the similarities are striking).

the battles in this are really grandiose and cool and carried the movies for me when the plot did not

I love Kallen so much you guys, you don't even understand

the above bullet point again but about C.C. this time

I miss the gratuitous Pizza Hut advertisements so much. I don't know why. The fact that I do feels like a sign that something is deeply wrong with me.

They cut The Table Scene. Because of Woke, I assume.

god this got long for me just basically being like "I like this but it has a lot of problems." Whatever, no one reads these LOL

[amazing-spiderling]

asks for you: something you are looking forward to but haven't told anyone about? last song listened to? last thing you bookmarked? newest graphic tshirt you got yourself? last person you called just to chat? last mattfoggy prompt you gave yourself but haven't done anything with, yet? what do you want to see happen most in DD:BA?

something you are looking forward to but haven't told anyone about?

My friends are coming over this weekend for my husband's birthday party. My husband is a gamer TM and one of his favorite games is "Factorio" which is a game about being stranded on an alien planet and having to build a bunch of stuff to get your spaceship off the ground so you can go home. (I keep joking that it's big kid pikmin.) There's a lot of machinery and factories and conveyor belts, so we factored that into the party. In addition to thematically appropriate board games, we got this oval shaped lazy susan thing that is sort of like a manual conveyor belt you spin with your hand, and it looks a bit like a factory belt too. We're going to set out ingredients so people can make their own custom snacks (miso soup, salad, onigiri, mini sushi cakes, etc) and finish it off with s'mores over this little s'more maker that coincidentally looks like the forge in the game. People know the theme of the party in general terms, but I don't think any of them have played this game themselves, and nobody knows about the "build your own" aspect of the menu, so I'm excited to see their reactions.

last song listened to?

Piplup Step (Piplup Cheer You Up)

last thing you bookmarked?

Hahaha, I'm so bad at bookmarks. There's a shortbread recipe I have open that I need to come back to.

newest graphic tshirt you got yourself?

In December I got a shirt from Vapor95 that is black with these teal jellyfish on it. But like, in a vapor/chillwave kind of way, not a "I'm into aquariums" way. XD Not that there's anything wrong with aquariums lol.

last person you called just to chat?

Returned a call to my friend Tiffany and caught up about our holidays and upcoming events.

last mattfoggy prompt you gave yourself but haven't done anything with, yet?

Okay, this is SO dumb but I found a jokey meme post on tumblr last night that was about being ten and waiting for the day wings sprung out from your spine and THEN everyone would SEE. And I just imagined Foggy and Matt in college and Foggy relating all these "one day people will see how special I am" childhood fantasies he has with Matt (who is trying SO HARD for people not to see how special he is). Anyways, we'll see if anything comes of it.

what do you want to see happen most in DD:BA?

You know, I don't spend that much time hemming and hawwing over it, I'm very "whatever will be will be" and believe that no matter what happens in the new show, it can't take away my good memories of the original one. I mean, broadly, I would want to see all of the characters treated with respect not just in their individual characterization, but their importance to the series overall. IYKYK. I know we won't hear about it since they're not in place anymore, but damn would I have loved to see Matt and his thoughts on the Sokovia accords (since they were a thing in the NMCU! They played a big part in Jeessica Jones!!!) I'd also like to know more about how Fisk went from being in superjail to a viable candidate for mayor, like, I assume it had something to do with the instability of the blip but STILL? I can understand him being out of prison (who was going to run prisons during the blip) but the man was going to do LIFE and somehow he was out and about during the blip with the same level of influence over the police as before? HOW. Just, give me a flashback, give me SOMETHING. If we're going to see him try to be mayor I need to know what his "I'm totally reformed" pitch is gonna be.

[margridarnauds]

20, 21, & 25?

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

In BG3, it really is not controversial to say that Act 3 drags, but...it does. So many quests that I never intend to do again, so many artificially difficult boss battles, so many *fucking githyanki EVERYWHERE* ALL SAYING THINGS LIKE "IN VLAAKITH'S NAME" like shut UP, all building up to you grinding up the last few levels that you need to FINALLY. FINALLY. Get into the endgame. From the point I killed Orin onward, the game ran smoothly, for a very intense five hour or so finale, between killing Orin, destroying the Steel Watch, killing Gortash, and then going into the confrontation with the Elder Brain.

But getting up to that point...

Oh, boy.

FUCK the Cazador boss fight in particular. And the Viconia one. Fuck them, fuck them, fuck them.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

I am once again on my hands and knees begging the BG3 fandom to remember that @_starion is not the main character of the game. There are many other Origin Characters in BG3 who are not @_starion. They are very good. Their stories touch on similar themes around bodily autonomy and abuse, he is *not* the only one. People are allowed to like him, they're allowed to see themselves in him, but you'd think he was the ONLY ONE when....no. (Also he is SO whittled down from his canon characterization -- like he was an actual cunt to my first Tav.)

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Honestly, at this point, I see more people complaining about Ascended! @_starion fans than actual fans and it feels quite performative at this point. I don't know what the situation is like on Twitter or Tiktok -- I don't particularly *care* to find out, especially since he's probably....my least favorite of the Origin Characters, not my least favorite companion in general. And there's this slight air of sexism about the whole thing given that it's always "those stupid women don't know what they're doing/they're romanticizing vampires/they're sexualizing the poor 200 year old baby", like. Bruh. *Bruh*. If you don't play your cards right during that final confrontation, he will *leave your party if you don't ascend him*. I've considered doing it with a Tav that ascends him out of love, wanting to give him what he wants, only to realize they've created a monster, because THAT'S narratively compelling to me.

...I don't know, part of the joy of RPGs for me is that every player character is different. My first Tav had a very different relationship with him (worsties) than my second Tav (who is banging him) and my third Tav (who is platonic besties with him since she's a lesbian and considers him #OneOfTheGirls). I don't like applying a broad "if you do this, you are MORALLY WRONG" or "If you do this, you don't understand the character", since the character reactivity can be insane. In three main runs of BG3, each of my PCs had different dynamics with each of the companions because of the decisions they made and the conversations they had. I've unfollowed long-term mutuals over @_starion discourse because I just. Did not enjoy it. He's not a real sexual abuse survivor, he is pixels, and the way we react to him...it can be telling, yes, but any time you have a character who appeals to so many people with varying types of traumas, it's bound to get very heated, and a lot of people get hurt, and I'm not interested in seeing that.

...so I stay in Devil Daddy Land. Yaaaaaayyyyyy.

Since I've been very harsh on @_starion, I also see a lot of G@le fans say that he isn't REALLY mansplaining, if you think he's mansplaining or you think he's annoying, you're ableist and...with respect to my fellow autistic people in fandom, who see themselves in him.....I can both sympathize with him and ALSO remind them, very gently, that autistic men can be sexist. And it can remind autistic women who have had to smile through the sexism in favor of solidarity of real experiences they've had. I don't HATE him, I like him, I hated sacrificing him in my first run, I think the creators HAVE done him wrong, one day I do want to do a run romancing him....but I will say, as an autistic woman (?) in academia, that he does kind of remind me of sexist male colleagues I've had and the way that they tend to be catered to and respected and the way that they tend to put themselves over their female autistic colleagues. I'm not saying that the CHARACTER is sexist or that if you LIKE HIM you're sexist -- he has a LOT of really, really attractive qualities, but I'm saying that people also aren't inherently WRONG to interpret it as mansplaining, either. Again, player reactivity. For me, he is always one step away from telling me "now, are you SURE about that?" when I talk about a topic that I've spent the last year working on.

(Also a lot of G@le VS @_starion discourse boils down to "Why are people focusing on this white dude when they could be focusing on MY white dude?" Which is rich coming from the Raphael fan, I know, but I'm not trying to guilt or shame people into liking my meow meow...and in fact prefer the small group we have.)

[tiptapricot]

🍉🍒🍌🍐!!

🍉—Do you prefer to write short fics or long fics? Multichaptered works or single ones? Why?

I usually go for shorter stuff, or single chap stuff even when longer. I think it’s mainly because that’s the easiest way for my brain to order a story, and a lot of the time I’m focused on smaller interactions building on a common theme, idea, or symbolic accentuation. I can get really run down doing longer stuff and have a harder time finishing or sticking with it if it’s not something I can get done with relatively dedicated focus in a week or two. The few multichaps I’ve had are either ones I wrote as one thing and then decided up, ones that took months and were made from an extreme fixation, or have been abandoned since (even if I hope to return). So ig just with how my creative process is, im able to keep the momentum on single stories and shorter ones better than longer ones!

🍒—What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic specific or general!)

I don’t think I necessarily have a peer for platonic over romantic, even if I do trend towards writing romance more than gen fic. It depends on the characters involved and the flavors of intimacy I’m interested in exploring, and all relationships have types I love to write. Friends are so valuable and important and beautiful, romance is too, and finding the line of definition between them for characters is sO fun.

I think in a larger sense I like writing relationships that help to explore each character, that define the other with their presence or absence. Obvs that’s just how relationships work, but that’s how I always approach writing them no matter what type they are. Friends, partners, people having sex, it’s all a way to feel out intimacy and boundaries and connections for the parties involved.

🍌 —In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?

I’m so bad at rmring specific lines but recently made one in an E rated fic that I won’t post but had to do with… similarities in a hand position to that used when shooting webs. I’m happy w that one.

🍐—Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown on screen, etc.

I rly love when comics Moon Knight fics add back in the system dynamics and headmates missing in canon. It’s a vital exploration for the group and who they are and it becomes very inorganic feeling in canon and adds much more genuine feeling and exploration in stories that actually write them as they should be written. Other than that I can’t think of too much as which canon I’m thinking of affects the answer, but yeah I’d say that! In general tho probably unnecessary romance plots that distract from the plot n characters r a big pet peeve, but half the time I don’t even write for stuff that does that lol

Send me a fruity writer ask!

[missrosegold]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Thank you for the tag @kimkaelyn (also, my apologies, I thought I followed you way earlier, my mistake!) I'm going to post everything below the cut, since this is going to be a long post!!

Some of the stories that I'll mention here are from my old fandom which was... PPG. I'm not ashamed of them by any means - quite the opposite actually - it's what allowed me to start writing in the first place, and I met some of my best friends in that fandom, so I'll always be grateful to it for that, but there was a lot of things about that community that were not great, so I left. Some of these stories are old. I mean from FF days, but I did bring the ones I liked the most over onto my A03 (with a crap-ton of edits) so if anyone is interested in giving them a read, by all means, feel free!

and if my body should fade I'll trust you with my soul - Dabi x (F)reader (MHA/BNHA)

You’ve always been able to see the man with white hair and charred skin around your village, even though it seemed that nobody else could Or, you ended up making a deal with death, and now he’s come to collect

This particular story is near and dear to my heart, as it's the first story I wrote after a 2 year hiatus. COVID was murder on my mental health and I didn't have any motivation to write. It was around that time that I started getting into MHA, and subsequently discovered Dabi as well. Needless to say, I never looked back haha. I spent nearly 2 years lurking around the MHA A03 side, reading the delightful stories that authors on here published, and getting more familiar with this blog, before I decided that I wanted to try my hand I writing something again. This idea about Death God!Dabi had been floating around in my mind for quite some time at this point, and part of the inspiration for the story was from a post about Dabi, which had a quote attached to it that went something like: "Looking like half a corpse, half a god." I took it as a sign to keep going with the idea, and I ran with it. The story that came afterwards, was the end result. He fit's the role of a death god well, and I had a lot of fun writing this story! I've said it before, and I'll say it again: This story is my love letter to Dabi. His character is complex, and his story isn't a happy one, but that's what makes him so interesting. I love writing for him just as much as I love his characterization. He's challenging to write well, but in the best possible way.

2. always the fool with the slowest heart - Dabi x (F)reader (MHA/BNHA)

After a few particularly grueling years of working nonstop, you broke down and burnt yourself out. To escape the rat-race, you left for the island where your aunt and uncle live; back to the beach house you spent your summers at as a child. As you slowly work on building yourself back up, you start to realize some things on the island are not quite as you remember them to be.

Little did you know, there was a surprise waiting you in the shallows when you returned to the island nearly a decade after you last left.

Another AU story about Dabi, only this time, he's a merman. This one ended up getting away from me a bit, and the direction of the plot changed halfway into me writing it. It more or less turned into a way for me to vent my frustrations about working non-stop through the pandemic, and burning myself out very early on in my career. (turns out healthcare isn't the field you wanna be in with a global pandemic strikes, it wasn't a great couple of years for me). This story is more or less dedicated to anyone who has experienced some kind of burnout or mental exhaustion at some point in time + the added bonus of having a whirlwind romance with a large, attractive merman. The themes of escapism and dealing with anxiety/stress are heavier in this one, so if you have any triggers related to what I've listed, then please proceed with caution. This story ended up growing so large, I ended up breaking it up into 3 parts. Currently, 2/3 chapters are posted, but the final installment should be along shortly!

And here we move into stories from my old fandom. I namely wrote for the Greens (Butch and Buttercup). Before I say anything else - I want to make it clear that I only ever wrote these two as being somewhere in their late teens (18+ but maybe 17 here or there), to anywhere in their mid to late twenties. Writing for the PPG back in the day was a lot of fun, because the fandom itself was a sandbox of sorts. The show focused on when the girls were young, but what happened to them as they grew up? That's left largely up to the viewers discression, and boy did I have fun writing for the Greens in particular. The notorious middle children where just so full rage and bloodlust as kids, I had a ball envisioning them as they got older. So angsty, so good. It's because of this fandom that I have such an affinity for writing AU's - rarely do I ever actually focus on plot-related stories, AU's are just so incredibly fun to write. While I'm no longer apart of this fandom, I do still enjoy these stories:

3. Lords of the Playlist - Butch x Buttercup (PPG)

They were lords of the playlist – they were legends. Two forces of nature, housed in bodies strengthened by Chemical X. They breathed life into each other, fed off each other’s energy. They were everything.

This story in particular is one of my longest to date, reigning at 92 chapters. Are they full chapters? Absolutely not. These were a collection of one-shots inspired by songs that I thought suited the Greens - I even made the full playlist on Spotify! The chapters are not cohesive to each other, and each could be read alone, but the order of the songs do follow a certain flow. This story took me 3 years to complete fully: I started it in 2016 a few months after I started collage, and I finished it in 2019 a few months after I graduated, so it was a nice way to end things. I suppose I'm most proud of the fact I stuck with it for so long. Normally I don't end up finishing projects as big as this one was, but I did, which was a first for me at that time. All and all, this is still one of my favourite pieces I've written.

4. Killers Playground - Reds, Greens, Blues (PPG)

Mafia AU – They were three of Townsville’s most notorious crime lords. They were three good girls that got caught up in the wrong crowd. West Side Story has nothing on these kids.

Surprise surprise, it's another AU, but a mafia centered one, and no one has their powers. This one involved all 3 of the traditional counterpart parings, which is something I didn't normally do, but I wanted to try my hand at writing for the Reds and Blues (I still think the best chapter was the Greens though, haha). It was a three-parter with each pairing getting their own chapter, and they all intertwined at some point. This one was a little bit twisted but I had a great deal of fun writing it at the time! This story gained a lot of traction when I initially posted it, so I guess people enjoyed it as much as I did! This one is rated M for a reason though. It's mafia based, which is it's own warning in of itself.

5. Yearning - Butch x Buttercup (PPH)

The five times Butch wanted to kiss Buttercup, and the one time he did.

This story was one of the very first I ever posted. I think it was my second or third, honestly I can't remember. This one was my take on what a budding relationship between the Greens might have looked at as they grew older together, and tried to sort out their feelings for one another. This was written from Butch's point of view, as I have this headcannon that he's an emotionally constipated little gremlin who is so out of touch with himself, that he doesn't realize he has feelings (that are more then friendly) for his counterpart until they literally smack him in the face, and he's forced to admit it to himself, even though he's loathed to do so. That being said, I also believe that he loves hard, and he has a lot of urges that he has to try and control when it comes to Buttercup, so this was my attempt at fleshing out those feelings in a way that was believable for both counterparts.

Anyways that was incredibly fun to write! Thank you so much for the tag! Sorry it took so long for me to respond, I got a little carried away with this prompt!

Tagging: @carriedreamerx2 @candycandy00 @kiebs @dynamars @shadowsandshapes @malewifetouya

[curiosity-killed]

Would love to hear your thoughts on atfots… the plot really surprised me given how the last book ended but overall it felt like a mixed bag to me

*cradles ur face tenderly in my hands* babycakes u have opened a can of worms

I'm not even going to pretend that this will be short or coherent so tl;dr: if I'm looking for a fun AU, I turn to ATFOTS; if I'm looking for canon compliant, meaningful sequels to HOTE, I turn to fanfiction.

General disclaimer that here be spoilers for ATFOTS and that while I don't intend this to be lambasting ATFOTS by any means, it's not the most positive review. So like, don't read below if you a) want to avoid spoilers or b) enjoyed the book, probably?

I think there are roughly 2 main categories of critique I have for ATFOTS, with a third just being the catchall for anything I miss and/or me yelling about the things that matter most to me lol so:

I. Sequel Sins

I am generally not a fan of sequels primarily because I think they tend to fall into a lot of similar traps such as overexplaining, inconsistent characterization, and undermining their own themes. This may be a product of growing up in love with sprawling series that all wound up basically having the same formula. ANYWAY.

Overexplaining: ATFOTS starts off by reintroducing Cliopher Mdang. My good sir. The POV character for the other doorstopper novel that came before (& which I love). I get the desire to make a sequel accessible to people who haven't read the first book but ATFOTS feels consistently like it's holding your hand very gently and bending down to make sure you're getting its full sincere eye contact and talking very slowly. I don't have a copy of the book on me to pull quotes, but it's especially flagrant in the first couple chapters.

Inconsistent characterization: WHOO BOY. Cliopher is so old! No he's young again! Now he's middle-aged! I have mixed feelings on the characterization overall—Rodin, for instance, came a bit out of left field—and most of it comes down to the way I loved the characters in HOTE and then in ATFOTS they all felt...a bit flatter and a bit caricaturized and a bit less true.

Undermining themes: The character thing comes in hard here IMO. One of the major threads of HOTE is Kip shaping his own path of success and receiving acknowledgment from his loved ones for his unique, uncommon route. And then ATFOTS comes in and is like ACTUALLY we're going to overwrite that with this GRAND and MYTHOLOGICAL story that also conveniently follows closely the story that will be familiar to your family. This isn't to say there isn't value in that type of story, but it definitely cheapens (imo) the thematic value of HOTE. And this is true for...kind of a lot of the stories' themes. ATFOTS seems to want to be "HOTE themes but bigger and better" and in doing so, kind of falls flat in delivery imo.

II. ATFOTS-Specific Pro/Con

Alright now onto a little more specific issues. This will be brief bc I think they're pretty self-explanatory lol

Con: Overall, I think ATFOTS tries to do too many things. I love a good book with many plotlines (see: erha my beloved) but ATFOTS' structure felt borderline episodic rather than building together into a satisfying reveal/culmination.

Pro: I'll get into Kip's sexuality below but do love the concept of fanoa

Con: It felt like a lot of tidbits of "oh ACTUALLY this was happening all along in HOTE I just didn't mention it"—see the comment that started this all around humming Aurora—in a way that felt less like a delightful little revelation and more like VG retroactively trying to incorporate things she hadn't decided on till that moment. Also feel this way about Ludvic's fam reveal but I'll get into that below.

Pro/Con: While I think the writing structure was a little tighter than HOTE (I'm sorry, I love Kip and I love HOTE but there were like 200 pages of having the same conversation over again) (maybe not actually 200. possibly 20. still.), girlie REALLY needed a copy edit. Like. I will copy edit ur book Ms. Goddard for u (I am cheap) but please let me fix the errors.

III. Getting My Grubby Little Gay Hands All Over this Book

aka personal preference shit that is entirely my opinion without critique for the writing quality but nonetheless are part of my critique

I love HOTE and I love HOTE principally for three four main categories: The Household (and Them), civil service, being The One Who Left, and ASEXUALITY BABEY. There are other aspects I love, of course, but these are kind of the big non-negotiables for me and four that ATFOTS kinda...did dirty imo.

In terms of the Household, HOTE gave us these middle-aged dudes who are pretty much defined and fulfilled by their dedication to their job to the exclusion of most other things. Kip has family but it's not family that really understands him most of the time and it's family that is very far away (*this will come up again). The rest of them don't have family outside of the household. They are very sincerely found/forced thru work family in a way that feels both very natural and blessedly free of nuclearization. They love each other and understand each other** in a way that none of them really have access to outside of this group.

And then ATFOTS (and admittedly RPA) comes along and is like "Ludvic has a dad! Conju's sister and boytoy are alive! Rodin has a devoted penpal!" in a way that feels a BIT like pairing off everyone so that the main couple can be together. Which like. I love Kip/Fitzroy, don't get me wrong, but I love the household and their weirdly intimate and formal and seemingly smooth as clockwork but internally messy vibe. I was so looking forward to reading about the retirement house and how that unspools (or at least thinking a lot about it in the way of the blorbo in the microwave) before ATFOTS.

So much of the heart of HOTE is the idea of community and connection (or isolation) and ATFOTS mostly veers away from that both thru the pairing off and through the things like Kip's solo adventures. It also, in some ways, sort of undermines some of the characters' core traits, such as Ludvic's devotion. Ludvic being a stout, unflinching companion for HR because he believes in him and sees the true man behind the Serenity is imo very different from Ludvic being an unflagging companion because he views HR as his uncle. Idk about y'all but family duty and personal devotion from choice are two different things in my experience.

On their own, they aren't bad but they are disappointing when compared to the aspects of HOTE I loved and would have hoped to see expanded upon in the sequel.

Kip's experience in civil service is also really important to me (literally made me more patient and cheerful at work when I was actively envisioning setting a plague of frogs loose upon my supervisor's house so like. Significant Importance to Me.)! This will not be articulate (I've legit been starting and deleting this sentence for like 5 min) bc it's very near and dear to my heart but the ideas of a) choosing to take a harder path, that is outside your community/family's conception of "normal" because you believe it is good and worthy, b) trying to improve a shitty system because you believe it can be made to better serve the people, and c) learning from both systems—are! just! very important to me okay. And not something I see a lot in fiction, but especially not in my most beloved of monstrously large fantasy novels.

And then ATFOTS is just JK time for an epic fantasy romp! and that's cool but that's not why I loved the first book! that's not the right tone at all!!! if i wanted an epic fantasy romp I would pick up Iron Widow but I wanted the bureaucracy D: (shoutout to ao3 user alfgifu for giving me the bureaucracy and also sorry for all the nonsense comments)

This is also super closely tied to Being the One Who Left tbh because well. Me. But one of the core elements of HOTE—the part that actually first snagged me and pulled my attention in—is that Kip is the one who left his community behind for no good reason to chase a weird dream instead of settling down and following the normal path to success.

*eyeing my high school classmates who are all settled down with 2.5 kids and starting photography businesses on the side while living within 20 minutes of where they grew up* Huh I Wonder Why This is Relatable

At the heart of being the one who left is this tug between guilt and desire/love/duty/curiosity/whatever pull factor. In HOTE, Kip is pushed to stay home by his duty to his community, his love of his family, and his family's own pressure. He's pulled to stay in the service by his duty to the world/government, his love of his found family, and by the urge to do more, to make things better as much as he can. In both places, he's not fully understood and when he's in either location, he misses the other. The importance is the tug, the dual identity, the sense of always being partially understood and partially misunderstood in different ways depending on the ground you're standing on. I could...very literally, write essays on each of these last items but I am trying to wrap it up bc I should actually be coding rn whoops

ATFOTS blots this out by transforming his Solaara experience into, basically, Just A Job. A job he cares about and can be proud of, sure, but just the job. It really...kind of aggressively, ignores the relationships and life Kip has made there in favor of focusing solely on this glorious return to home while conveniently giving everyone else people to be with instead of the household. which I'm sure my mom would like but ANYWAY

and now, last but decidedly not least OR clearest *drum roll pls* ASEXUALITY BABEY

okay so I will caveat this by saying different rep serves different people, there are infinitely many ways to be asexual, etc etc that all being said ATFOTS' handling of Kip's sexuality just left me a little...dissatisfied? And tbh I struggle to articulate it because I feel like it probably comes down to "this isn't the rep I would like but I can see where it's meaningful to others."

Like I can justify it—a lifelong commitment as fanoa is described is different than a romantic or sexual relationship, it's entirely fair to have a character want that commitment without risking it by mixing in romance/etc., it's good to have a devoted and platonic relationship at the core where normally a (straight) romantic/sexual relationship would be

and yet. I caught myself making faces at the book half the time when dealing with their relationship. Some of it feels a little like trying to Do All The Rep in one go—Kip's tingly fuzzy feelings and (mostly) lack of romantic attraction, neutrality around sex and aversion to sex in this relationship—in a way that almost definitely describes actual humans out in the world but feels a little...off in a fictional character? My general wish for asexual characters is getting to be in devoted relationships where the allosexual partner(s) is willing to not have sex and still be committed but I caught myself being like "y'all just fuck already" in ATFOTS which is uhhhh not the norm

tbf my ideal Kip/Fitzroy retirement relationship is basically just them (and the household) all living together and everyone on the outside kind of being ???? is it a sex thing???? while they contentedly carve out their own life yet again but this time with more touch and laughter and song.

Actually having gotten to this point, I feel like my main sticking point with ATFOTS sexuality is that Sex Is A Big Thing in the book while never being super effectively resolved imo and also not actually being a big thing to the characters in HOTE. Like one of these dudes has been celibate for 1000 years or so and another one has had like 3 brief lovers across the same amount of time. I think there are some other things we could focus on here