#haley rambles

[haley-harrison]

gay catboy porn? you mean

nyaoi?

[clarinet-jesus]

Let’s get one thing straight etsy: i like top gun, not conservatives. I’m here for the gay subtext, the dilfs, and miles teller’s mustache specifically

[moeblob]

I genuinely have a "hear me out" for Alex/Shane and have in fact told someone (who doesn't play SDV) and they said it was a pretty convincing argument so I think I'm onto something.

[moonferry]

i saw someone say abby would get the mermaid pendant tattooed on her so she could explore the mines without losing it SO here's how i think the other marriagables would wear their pendant:

* sebastian makes it into an earring

* elliott makes it into an earring or a fancy hair clip.

* harvey doesn't ACTUALLY wear it, he simply keeps it in the left side pocket of his shirt (so you can be as close to his heart as possible)

* shane makes it into a bracelet and probably adds some charms to represent the two of you (and maybe jas + marnie)

* haley wears it as a necklace or makes it into a ring (or gets a ring version because she doesn't want to damage the actual shell)

* sam paints it onto his guitar. he also wears it around his neck (it becomes one of the two necklaces he never takes off, the other being kent's dog tags)

* alex keeps his in a safe spot in the farmhouse. he instead chooses to wear a different type of jewelry or accessory (he also got you a matching version <3. what it is depends on his mood for the day.)

* penny made her's into a brooch and wears it underneath her teaching name tag.

* maru made it into an anklet (she doesn't want it dangling and getting caught in her machines as she works)

* leah added it to a keychain & often hangs it from her tool belt when she's carving. pretty sure there's some wood shavings inside it now. oops.

* emily adds several crystals and makes the pendant into a better necklace. all the crystals represent love and prosperity in some way.

* abby, of course, would get it tattooed because i really liked that idea.

[tombstoneleigh]

I love Haley as a character and the concept of her storyline, but I hate how they portray her and hotch in the show. Hotch wasn't a "runaway"father, he wasn't unavailable, he wasn't a bad husband. She knew what his job entailed when she got married to him and they had a baby together, so did he. If hotch was a woman he would be the hero in the show, he would be rewarded despite being "unavailable". He canonically calls her multiple times a day, and checks in with her constantly. He's work driven, that doesn't make him a bad person. I think it was irresponsible from both of them to have a kid when they knew how busy the job was. She isn't a bad wife for wanting him home more, she handled things poorly at times but that doesn't make her a bad person either. They're both first time parents and both need a support system that they couldn't find in one another, they are just incompatible, not deadbeat parents or spouses.

[mujinzzzzz]

okay so any stardew valley players, how many farms do you have and how many of them are at true perfection? because I'm on my first playthrough and usually with first playthroughs, I feel obligated to reach perfection with my first farm/first character/etc... but I'm super tempted to start a new farm because I feel like I wasted a lot of time in my first two or so years when I could've spent it like,,,, making money/food/fishing/etc and for some reason I feel guilty about it, even though I know this is a game you can take at your own pace. does that make sense??

I guess I just kinda need reassurance that not every farm needs to reach true perfection before starting a new one 💀 I feel like I didn't manage my time quite right and that I rushed the wrong things due to stress and obv being new to the game/new to farming games in general lol,,

[batbabydamian]

besides cute cat Damian i’m so curious why he goes all the way to Bludhaven, since he was turned in Gotham

based on some turned characters, their instincts lead them to figures in their lives - Bruce goes to Gotham, Harley to Ivy, and Mera to Andy

the only reason i could think of Damian going to Bludhaven would be for Dick 😭

[cottonsocks]

If Reuben’s band is is my clerical gnomance then this supports my argument that fig and the sig figs is Paramore

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

remember that post that was like, reblog this and put in the tags what actor would play you in a movie of your life? we should do that again. so: reblog this and put in the tags the actor you think would play you in a movie of your life

[specialbluehens]

bachelor & bachelorettes deez nuts chart (explanations under read more for fun LOL)

ok so

harvey old <3

elliott doesn't NOT get it but also he doesn't GET it

leah will get it & laugh but it gets old for her quick

haley is a deez nuts joke hater & will say she doesn't get it to make the joke fall flat

alex will stifle his laughter but he thinks they're funny

emily finds them fucking hilarious

penny hangs out with sam & sam makes her laugh <3

abigail thinks they're funny but is more likely to make the joke. like, she & sam will just say it back & forth at each other

sebastian is the same, but he'll lean more than abigail towards making the joke. they both hang out with sam but sebby does a lot more. ends up getting in the habit of making the joke more often.

maru uses it as a joke bc she knows sam makes penny laugh with it but she finds it mildly amusing & does it sparingly

sam is the DEEZ NUTS™️ joke KING!!!!

shane? shane usually rolls his eyes, almost always. but every once in a while he'll make the joke, look sam dead in the eyes, & tell him "no one will ever believe you" (made them a lot when he was in gridball)

[star-bear-headcannons]

A Mini Analysis On The Stardew Love Interests

I like to group the Stardew love interests (and love interests in the media in general) into two groups. External Love Interests (ELI) and Internal Love Interests (ILI).

ELI's grow closer to the Farmer through the Farmer solving an external problem of theirs. The Love Interest does not change when the problem is solved, though public opinion of them may change. A good example of ELI's is Sam. His problem is his band. By solving the problem, he grows closer to Farmer. He doesn't change at all. What you see is what you get. He's still a lovable idiot. Another example of an ELI is Leah.

ILI's grow closer to the Farmer through the Farmer helping them solve an internal (emotional) problem of theirs. They usually change their personality. Shane is the poster child of ILI's. Farmer helps his depression and they grow closer. His personality changes dramatically throughout your relationship. Another example of an ILI is Alex

Now, of course this is not an end all be all. Not every love interest will fall into a perfect mold. Most of them fall into both groups in one way or another. Some don't even have a problem. This is just a trend I found that I put way too much time into.

[haley-harrison]

just had a cishet white dude complain to me that the business world doesn't take him as seriously if he doesn't grow a beard.

mf, image being a woman in this patriarchal society. no beard cheat-code. you just gotta deal with it and let your work speak for itself. 🙃

[litaesthete]

no matter how many times you show me the elevator scene with phil and haley i'll bawl my eyes out like . that's a girldad if i've ever seen one. that one hug is one of the many reasons why i need therapy :(

[ramblesbiab]

Fanfiction is messing up my life. I want to write a Stardew Valley comedy/romance parody of Farmer Wants a Wife and that would take so much time. And all I would get out of it is. A Stardew Valley parody of Farmer Wants a Wife.

It would be called “Farmer Wants(?) a Wife” because the whole time the farmer is clearly uninterested in anybody except Krobus and the focus is on the rivals to lovers relationship between Abigail and Haley because the idea of shipping them refuses to leave my mind.

There’s at least one talking head interview where Haley is like “Well obviously she’s hot, but like… I think she spent like 16 hours straight fishing yesterday? Then she waved to me while running home and passed out. Is that flirting? Maybe it’s a weird kind of flirting.”

[moonferry]

okay next up on are they/arent they, we have:

the marriage candidates and if they're a big spoon or little spoon. (or if they don't have a preference/prefer a different form of cuddling)

this isn't by favoritism btw im just writing these down as i think of the people

* shane: little spoon. something about him makes me wanna wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck, yk? maybe draw circles on his stomach with your finger.

* sam: despite his massive height, hes a little spoon. he absolutely loves being held. can & will sit in your lap. it's like those really huge dogs who sit on their person's lap because they think they're a small little puppy and obviously you let them because it's adorable.

* sebastian: BIG SPOON. he's short but that doesn't stop him. if you're taller than him, he will cling like a backpack. LOVE to bury his face in your shoulder blades . also loves it when people lay on his chest.

* alex: i think he doesn't really like spooning, he likes to lay his head on your shoulder or lap. if you start playing with his hair or massaging his back? it's over for him. literal puddle.

* elliott: i think he's open to both. doesn't really matter - it's up to you. he'll happily do whatever you like, you want to be spooned? got it. you want to spoon him? got it. also likes to lay his head on your stomach - thinks the gurgles sound like the ocean and it's calming to him.

* harvey: tough. i think he's very shy about physical affection - even if you two have been together for x number of years - and he often prefers to sit side by side, his arm around your waist or shoulders. he loves back hugs tho. like you come in from the farm and go into the kitchen, harvey is gonna walk in and wrap his arms around you. if he's taller than you, he'd definitely rest his chin on your head & ask you about your day.

* abigail: oh, big spoon for sure. she's so self assured & powerful. when she spoons you, she feels like she's protecting you & it's honestly very sweet. also she's a big kisser. when you two cuddle, you will be covered in little smooch marks.

* leah: i honestly think she'd be a little spoon. *i saw someone say that leah's ex partner always forced her to be the big spoon and that's why she'd hate it. i'll try to link their post if i find it* she would also enjoy it if you laid on her lap, however.

* penny: both. she'd be more likely to be the little spoon though. i also feel like she loves to face you & bury her face in the crook of your neck, maybe run her fingers through your hair as she listens to you talk about your day.

* maru: little spoon. she just loves to lay in your arms and fidget with your fingers. bonus points if you let her ramble about her newest inventions. oh and gently kiss her shoulders. she would love that.

* haley: Big Spoon. i think - after you get to know her - haley is very affectionate. not pda, just private affection between the two of you. she absolutely loves when you lay in her arms. if you face her, she'll smile softly and run her fingers through your hair, telling you how beautiful/handsome/gorgeous you are. lots of forehead kisses are in bound.

* emily: honestly? i think emily would be either. she absolutely loves cuddling, but can sometimes be overwhelmed by physical affection. i also think she'd like it if you laid directly on top of her while you cuddled - kind of like a living weighted blanket. if she gets overwhelmed, she will wrap herself in a blanket and lightly lean against you

i tried my best to keep these the same length but Some people *glaring* wouldn't stop making ideas come into my head.

also i see why people usually do these in 2 parts there's so many tag options oh my god

[nekhnona]

my stupid stardew valley buttons

i made a bunch of stardew valley site buttons that are completely free to use with credit. terms of use and the buttons themselves are featured in the link below:

enjoy ::3