#hailey watches lost

[soft-persephone]

No one loves Oscar Isaac more than me, but Spiderverse is and will always be about Miles/Shameik Moore.

[oh-meow-swirls]

read all of the first volume of the manga. it was good. going to the fifth manga volume immediately after was weird though it's different enough that it's weird-

[poguehearted77]

Just Another Cliché

Summary: Rafe has been asking to take you out for years and you always shoot him down, but after a particularly bad day, you decide things can't get much worse.

<<Here's some fluffy angst for those who need it>>

Shitty was an understatement for the day you had. This day will go down in history as the worst day any soul has ever lived through.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." The murmur is bitter on your tongue as you stuff your hands deeper into your warm pockets. The breath of your words were visible in the crisp winter air as you were about to pass by Rafe Cameron who waited patiently outside of your apartment building with a single rose just like he always did.

Since your senior year of high school, every year on the fourteenth of February, he would wait outside your complex, asking you out, then you say no, then he goes home. That's the tradition.

Well, technically you never said no. You'd always make up some excuse. 'I don't have time for a relationship right now' or 'Now's a bad time' are just a few of the examples you've used over the last five years.

It's not that there was anything wrong with him. You actually did find him attractive. Aside from the sketchy reputation he had going for him back in high school, he was still a relatively nice guy.

You just didn't have the time for a relationship, or at least you didn't before.

A small smile forms on his face as he sees you, already knowing what to expect. Another excuse like "Fine," yup, just as he thought- Wait.

"Say that again?" His head shakes in disbelief, blue eyes bulging slightly. Your shoulders shrug under your heavy-duty winter jacket. "My car was towed, then I lost my job, so why not lose my dignity too? Let's go out." You say and his heart begins to bounce off the confines of his ribs.

Not sure if it was the frosty air nipping at his cheeks or his lifetime wish finally unwrapping before his eyes, his cheeks flushed and he blinked a few times. "You won't regret this, I promise." he holds out the rose for you to take, and you finally do. For the first time in five years. You bite back a scoff, not in the mood for empty promises.

"Why haven't you given up yet?" You ask and now he places his hands in his pockets as a chilling breeze sweeps past you. He's rocking back on his heels slightly, "Life's too short to give up." The tiny smile on his face does make you scoff this time but he moves past it, "I'll text you later," is the last thing he says before he walks off.

You look down at the rose, then at his shrinking figure as he heads for the distance. A little pep in his step and you shook your head, immediately regretting your decision.

Great, this is exactly what you needed, another cliché.

-

Just another cliché is exactly what it was. On the lowest day of your life, you finally gave Rafe a chance. Of course, he changes your life in ways you couldn't imagine and leaves you with a dead weight of regret for not giving in sooner.

Your first date wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it was fun. The two of you were inexperienced skaters failing to skate in the middle of the town square during the heart of winter. With festive lights outlining the rink where you laughed every time one of you fell.

There was even a point in time when you'd both embraced the cold connection with the ice floor and had a deep conversation on the sidelines, watching the other skaters circle the rink.

"Why me?" The question slips out before you can catch it and he licks his lips. He anticipated the query would arise eventually. "You remember that party Hailey Vanderbilt threw back in senior year?"

You hum with a nod, that was a party you'll never forget. Pool toys ended up in the trees, broken windows, jello in the hot tub, fights in the front yard and gambling in the back. "You and a few of the girls were playing truth or dare and they had dared you to start a rumour that I'd shaved my head because my family had joined some cult or some shit."

It took you a second, but the memory came back to you. "You don't know this, but I was fucking wasted behind the couch, but I'll never forget the way you stood up for me to them and refused to do it, and I dunno, I jus' think that was really cool of you." His head turns to you, his gaze softening when he looks at you.

At that moment, you felt the butterflies flap around in your stomach for the first time. He clears his throat, expression becoming more sombre as he continues. "My mom," He starts, taking a difficult swallow to get the words out.

"She was really sick. I got caught up with the wrong crowd to deal with it. Doing anything people said would get me distracted, even for a little, but she got worse and me being high every day didn't help so I quit. Her chemo was taking everything from her and eventually, she just shaved it off, she hated looking in the mirror and it killed me."

Your chest tightened at the story, having a sneaking suspicion of where this was going, "So when you shaved your head..." You trail off and Rafe nods along, turning away from you as a stray tear falls. "It was for her. You sticking up for me meant so much more than you know."

So there you both sat, on the ice with your backs against the wall in silence while the faint Christmas music chimed in the background. The date had taken a sad turn but you're glad it did, it sparked the beginning of your forever-evolving bond.

That was only the first date of many. Dozens and dozens of dates had flown past you and with each one you hated yourself a little more for letting him stand outside of your complex for five years rather than invite him inside.

"This is a nice place." He compliments as he takes a look around before settling himself on the couch with you beside him. "Thanks, it used to be a lot nicer when I could afford it. Had to sell some stuff to keep it after I lost my job."

He chuckles, "That explains why we're facing a blank wall and no television." and you pinch him. "Sacrifices had to be made. Who needs a TV anyways when there's so many other things we could do to keep ourselves busy." Your wandering hand gently runs down his firm thigh and you can feel the muscles in his leg tighten.

This was unchartered territory for you. You'd been dating for almost three months now and have never been intimate in that way, but Rafe knew the kind of person you were. A perfectionist, you need to be sure of everything before you try it.

Based on how fervently you were currently kissing along the length of his neck he could assume he had a pretty good idea of where your head was at. "Baby, baby--" He struggles to keep you at bay so he can lock eyes with you. "Are you sure about this? We don't have-" You silence him with the passionate attack of your lips against his.

Nearly tackling him onto his back, your hips straddling his as you demonstrated your certainty to him.

-

The months went on and sleepovers became more frequent. Even when Rafe had that tired look in his eye which was more often these days, you kept him up with your bright eyes and wide smile as you explained to him the newest conspiracy that intrigued you.

He tried his best to listen to what you were saying but he'd often lose himself in the labyrinth of his own mind. You were just so cute when you were talking about what you were passionate about. Especially when you wore the glasses you cursed so much, opting for contacts during the day.

"Why don't you wear your glasses more often?" He asks and you frown, "Rafee, did you hear anything I just said?" He nods, "Of course I did. I heard every last word.... up until about five minutes ago." You whine and he hugs you tight as an apology, placing a sweet kiss on your forehead.

You couldn't stay mad at him. That was proven time and time again when even your biggest fights would be resolved within 24 hours. Rafe insisted on talking things out, no matter how hurt the both of you may feel. He never wanted to go to sleep without making things right. "Life's too short," He would say.

You both had your shortcomings, but that goes without saying. Rafe was short-tempered and you were stubborn, a bad combination for an opinionated conversation. Things can quickly spiral out of control but when it came to apologies, Rafe outdid you every time. Flowers, or a small gift to show his feelings.

Even now, as Rafe leant against your kitchen island as you transferred the flowers he'd gifted you 'just because'. A weak smile graced his lips as he noted the way you did everything with such intensity, putting your all into everything you did.

Leaning forward onto his crossed forearms he watches you. "You're staring, babe." You say and he can only hum. "Can't help it. I like what I see," His words elicit a soft warmth to radiate in your chest.

"I love you, y'know that?" You're startled as you feel his arms wrapping around your waist from behind. "You tell me only every day, Rafe." He comes down to peck your cheek before you're rotating in his hold to face him. "But I love you too." You're unable to contain your smile as you say it.

It wasn't the first time but every time the words left your mouth, it gave you a little bubbly feeling. Security blossomed within you anytime your eyes grazed over his features.

"Let's go out tonight, yeah? Let's go dancing." Rafe declares without thinking and you laugh, tilting your head to look at the time over the stove. "It's almost midnight, nothing's open at this hour." You reason, but he doesn't back down.

Holding you by the hand, he twirls you. "Not a problem, we'll just do it here." That night your apartment was filled with laughter and soft jazz. Rafe hardly ever had this much energy so late but you loved it.

Two days after that night of dancing, you woke up to an eerie silence that felt too heavy for the morning. You went about your routine, still buoyed by the memory of Rafe's laughter filling your apartment. You checked your phone—just the usual notifications, a missed call from an unknown number, and a message from Sarah that simply said, "Call me."

You barely had time to press dial before she picked up, her voice trembling. She tried to speak, but only the sound of soft, choked sobs came through. Finally, she managed, "I’m so sorry…"

The words hit you, but you didn’t understand them. You wanted her to stop, to say something else—anything else. She kept speaking, her words blurred and distant, as though you were underwater, drowning. Somewhere in her explanation, you heard the words, "peacefully… in his sleep." But it didn’t feel peaceful. Your mind raced, demanding answers. Why hadn’t he told you? How long had he known?

Over the days that followed, Rafe's family gently filled in the pieces: he’d been sick for years, silently enduring, doing everything he could to hide it. Every date, every moment spent laughing with you, was a deliberate choice he made to live his last days fully, in love and joy, with you.

He hadn’t wanted you to know because he couldn't bear to see you suffer for him the same way he was once familiar with in his senior year. Even in the end, he kept the truth locked away, shielding you from the loss he knew was coming.

The weight of his choice tore you apart. You wanted to be angry, to hate him for leaving you out, but in his silence, there was also a strange kind of love. A love that had given you a few precious, unburdened moments together. Still, the pain settled deep within you, refusing to ease.

The anger, hurt, and ache became constant companions in the days that followed. But in his absence, you began to understand just how much he’d given for you.

He'd shared with you how hard it was for him to deal with that eerie state of loss. The stage where the person isn't gone but you know you'll lose them. It alters you in a messed up kind of way and he wanted you as far from that reality as possible. He was protecting you from his own condition till the very end.

Helping his family to clear out his apartment was easily the hardest thing you'd ever done. You couldn't do it without tearing up with every belonging of his you touched.

His favourite hoodie that he never let you wear but loved when you did. The polaroids in his drawer that you took from your first date, taken from the floor of the ice rink.

You noticed he'd scribbled writing on the back of the photo.

She finally said yes.

That was all it took. The last bits of your composure were stolen from you and you wept on his bedroom floor. Everyone always told you it would get easier but it never did. How could things get easier when the other half of your heart was buried six feet below the ground?

You learned to live with the loss, forcing a smile when in the company of others and taking deep breaths every morning when you woke up. Mildly disappointed the realm beyond the living hadn't reaped you during your slumber.

Very slowly, you begin to adjust to this new reality. It’s not the life you imagined, but you learn to live with the loss, carrying him with you in the smallest, most tender ways. His favourite hoodie becomes your comfort on cold nights, wrapping you in his memory and his scent.

Just because he was gone doesn't mean you'd end all of your traditions. Each year on the fourteenth of February, you visit his grave, placing a single red rose on the stone as a quiet tribute.

Though the ache remains, you hold his spirit close, carrying him forward into every milestone and memory yet to come, honouring the love you shared while finding the strength to continue onward.

In some ways, your love story turned out to be just another cliché—until it ripped your heart out from your chest, leaving you with the unbearable ache of everything he left unsaid, every unfulfilled promise, and the haunting silence of a future that will always belong to him.

Somehow, even in the quietest, most heart-wrenching moments, you never gave up on finding the silver lining, because life’s too short.

[fishfooddude]

Ooo if it’s okay (totally okay if not!) can I please request an angst to fluff Carmy x fem!reader where Y/n and Carmy had been engaged when he was in culinary school in New York, maybe she was going to a University then for elementary education or something, but they had broken up after Carmy got the news about his brother and went back to Chicago and they lost touch. Fast forward and Y/n is visiting Chicago and happens to walk into The Bear to eat (she didn’t know it was Carmy’s restaurant because the last time they talked, “The Bear” was “The Beef”) holding a little girl almost 2 years old who looks strikingly similar to Carmy. I’m sure he’d be upset that she didn’t tell him about her though, but they talk through everything (maybe Carm has gotten some therapy by this point😅)

Carmy getting to know his daughter and overtime rekindling his relationship and getting back together with Y/n?🥹

Second Chances

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader

The Bear Master List

My Directory

“Carmen! Will you fuckin’ talk to me!” you yelled as you watched Carmy move across your shared bedroom.

“There’s nothin’ to fuckin’ talk about!” he yelled back, throwing clothes into his suitcase.

“Carm, you can’t just ‘move back to Chicago’! We’re engaged! I’m in school, and you haven’t even put in a two-week notice. We just renewed our fuckin’ lease!” you challenged, throwing your hands up exhaustedly. “Listen, I get it. Grief and mourning is hard-”

“Don’t. Don’t you fuckin’ dare.” Carmy said coldly, stopping in his tracks. You stepped back and watched Carmy push a hand through his hair, “Listen. Y/N. I need to do this. Come, don’t come. I honestly don’t fuckin’ care at this point.”

“You don’t care? Carmy… we’re engaged? We’re engaged, but don’t you care about me? About what I want? How do you-”

“Break up with me then.” Carmy cut you off. His words left you blindsided, and you stared at him as you let the emotions ruminate. 

“What?” 

“This is happening Y/N. I’m moving back to Chicago, and truthfully, I don’t care what you think or how this makes you feel. Mikey left me his restaurant, and I’m gonna make it good. Stay in New York, do whatever. I don’t care.” Carmy said scarily calmly as he zipped his bag. 

“Fuck you, Berzatto.” you scoffed as you tried to pry the engagement ring off of your finger. “I’ve known you for two fuckin’ years. You’ve talked to your sister, like, what, three times in the last two years? You’re brother even less- and now you’re throwing away our life to go run some shitty sandwich shop?”

“You don’t fuckin’ get it, Y/N! Okay. You don’t fuckin’ get it.” Carmy exacerbated as he grabbed his bag. “Just forget about me.”

~~~~

“Momma!” You heard your two-year-old's excited squeal from the other side of the AirBnB the two of you had been staying in. You groaned; it was 5 a.m. and entirely too early to wake up, but Hailey couldn’t tell time yet. As you got out of bed, you heard Hailey’s giggles intensifying. You laughed as you walked out of the bedroom and down the hall into the living room. Haliey had managed to get onto the window seat by the large bay window overlooking the busy Chicago street.

“Do you see a dog?” you cheerfully asked as you came up and lifted her onto your hip. Hailey nodded furiously and pointed across the street, where a man struggled to walk five large dogs. You smiled and bounced Haliey on your hip. “Just like at home, huh, sugar cookie? Chicago is a lot like New York.” Hailey giggled and rested her face on your collarbone, bringing her thumb to her mouth. “Okay, let’s get you some breakfast. Then we’ll get dressed. After that, you can watch some Bluey while Momma gets ready… then I’m gonna drop you off at Uncle Ryan’s house, and you two will have a super fun day- I heard he’s taking you to the zoo.” you explained, Hailey propped up at the mention of ‘the zoo’ which made you laugh. “Yeah, you and Uncle Ryan are gonna see lions, and tigers, and bears-”

“Oh my!” Haliey exactly squealed against her thumb. You laughed and sat her on the couch before going into the kitchen to make the two of you cereal bowls. “Momma!” 

“I’m comin’ Hailey. I’m comin’.” you ensured as you returned to the living room. You placed the bowls on the coffee table and grabbed your phone from your bag. “Okay… Hailey, I’m going to get this job. We are going to move to Chicago permanently… Mommas’ gonna have an amazing job, and you’re gonna be so so so happy.” you said more to reassure yourself as opposed to informing Hailey of your prospective job. “We’re gonna be okay.”

Hailey happily munched on her cereal and babbled on about some elaborate story she’d created while you nervously poked at your bowl. You watched her sandy brown bedhead-ridden hair bounce as she got more invested in telling you her story. Her stories were always the highlight of your day. Hailey was what kept you going when work was a pain in the ass or when everything was overwhelming. The way she lit up over things she loved, the way she laughed and smiled, her imagination… her eyes. The same dazzling blue of her father- you shook your head at the thought of him. 

Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto. James Beard award-winning chef with a highly decorated resume of some of the most prominent, four Michelin Star restaurants across the country- hell across the world. He not only gave up that to run a crappy sandwich shop, he also gave up your shared future. The night he left was one of the worst nights of your life. You almost failed your finals the following month, and then you found out you were pregnant. Finishing school, having Hailey, and doing internships was hard, but the work paid off. Today was the day you were interviewing to be the principal of one of Chicago's most elite private schools. Cushy benefits, a considerable pay bump, being closer to your brother and his long-term girlfriend… the only downside was the potential of running into Carmy. 

~~~

“Yo Y/N- over here!” Danny called, waving his hand to catch your attention just outside some fancy restaurant Suzie had managed to get a reservation at. You waved and saw Hailey smiling in your direction.

“Hey guys- there’s my baby!” you cooed, taking Hailey from his arms. She happily squealed and kicked her feet as you bounced her on your hip. “I missed you, sugar cookie.”

“How’d the interview go?” Suzie excitedly asked. You shrugged as you ran your thumb across Hailey’s cheek. Suzie nodded, “Well, they’d be stupid not to hire you. Com’on The Bear is one of the best new restaurants in the city, and I’ve been dying to try it.”

The four of you had a phenomenal meal, although there was something eerily similar about it. “I swear I’ve had this exact meal before.” you laughed.

Carmy was walking to the hostess stand when he heard your laughter. He stopped dead in his tracks and quickly scanned the dining room before his eyes landed on the back of your head. It had been years since he’d seen you, but your laugh was the dead giveaway he needed to identify you. Carmy turned his attention back to the hostess stand and passed off a clipboard. “Here…” he said before walking back to the kitchen. Before he entered, he looked back into the dining room and saw your side profile. He swallowed softly as he felt memories of the two of you rushing back to him. Carmy paused before quickly walking back into the kitchen and to his station. 

Carmy tried to distract himself for the rest of dinner service, but knowing you were on the other side of those swinging doors was enough to throw him off his game. “I’ll be right back,” he muttered in Syd’s direction before quickly walking into the back office before she could respond. As soon as he’d reached the office, he closed and locked the door behind himself before leaning back against the door and pushing his hands through his hair. “Name all the brown things…” he mumbled as he took a deep breath. Carmy looked around the office, “The couch… the desk…, and those shelves… fuckin’ Jason.” he scoffed, realizing the ‘anxiety tricks’ his therapist had taught him had been beneficial. After another deep breath, Carmy went to sit at his desk. He opened the top drawer to reveal a worn bubble mailer. He stared at it for a second before slamming the drawer closed. He couldn’t think about you right now; he needed to get back into the kitchen.

When he walked out of the kitchen again, he saw your party had left. Carmy cursed under his breath as he quickly walked toward the exit. You coming into his restaurant had to be a sign, right? He looked up and down the street, trying to find you. Panic began to creep up as he realized he may have been too late. “Holy shit… Carmy?” your voice made Carmy’s brain go blank as he turned to face you. He was awestruck by your presence and couldn’t manage to string two words together. “Carmy?” you asked again, laughing awkwardly. 

“He-ey-y bab- Y/N… hey Y/N.” Carmy corrected himself before shoving his hands in his pockets as he rocked on his heels. 

“Hey… what are you doin’ here?” 

“Oh uh- this,” Carmy started before awkwardly gesturing up to The Bear, “It’s my-my restaurant. It used to be The Beef- Mikey’s restaurant, but uhh, we remodeled…” he explained. You nodded and glanced at your watch, wondering where Danny was with the car. “So uh- what, what brought you to Chicago?” 

“Job interview- principal position at Ridgeview Conservatory.” 

“Wow, that’s fancy.” Carmy responded, “You in Chicago much longer?” 

“A couple more days… visiting my brother Danny and his girlfriend.”

“Do you wanna get coffee tomorrow afternoon?” Carmy blurted out, “It’s cool if you can’t- I just… this feels like a- like a sign. Ya know?” 

You nodded, “I-I uh... Yes. I can do that.”

“Cool, cool… there’s this place on 9th called Ginger Snap- wanna meet up at like 3:30?”

“Yeah, that sounds good… see you then?” you confirmed, finally noticing Danny pulling up to the curb, “Bye, Carm..” he nodded and watched you get into the backseat next to the car seat. You glanced down to see Hailey sleeping. You watched her momentarily before the weight of your decision to have coffee with Carmy finally hit you. “Are you workin’ tomorrow, Danny?” 

“Yeah, did you need me to watch Hails?” he eagerly asked as he drove toward your AirBnB. 

“It’s okay. I can just take her with me.” 

“You have another interview?” Suzie brought up, turning her head to face you. You shook your head and thought for a second.

“Just hangin’ out with a friend of mine.” you slyly responded, hoping Danny hadn’t seen you talking to Carmy. Suzie shot you a suspicious look before turning back in her seat. “I’m sure they’ll love to meet Hailey.”

~~

“Carmy. Ready for our appointment?” Jason called. Jason was a clean-cut man. He wasn’t anything special. Carmy couldn’t pick him out if he'd been in a lineup of men. The waiting room was posh, with muted pastel green walls and some simplistic nature art in simple black frames. After a year, Carmy still couldn’t determine whether they were trees or leaves. He got up from his chair and tossed his empty coffee cup in the trash before following the man into an office. Carmy watched him sit in a dark leather armchair before he sat on a grey couch across from him. “So. What’s new?”

“I’m getting with my ex-fiance in about an hour… that’s-that’s new. Um… I don’t know how I feel about that.” Carmy started leaning back on the couch as he folded his arms over his lap and nervously played with the side seam of his jeans. He looked up to meet Jason’s non-chantant face, “I told her to forget about me, and then a couple of months later, she mailed me her engagement ring… I keep it at my desk as like a reminder of everything I gave up for this freakin’ restaurant- and then she has dinner in my restaurant.” Carmy chuckled softly, “She had dinner at my restaurant on a night when I made one of her favorite dishes- that’s a sign, right? She came to Chicago for a job interview- she’s gonna nail it. She’s a fuckin’ genius… badass clinical social worker with an additional master’s degree in early childhood education. She was always at the top of her class, even when she was working and doing multiple internships. She dealt with me being an ass… I don’t know Jason. It feels like a sign, and I know we talked about coincidences like six months ago, and I don’t wanna get all God-y, but I feel like this is God bringing her back to me. Like-like, the world is this big massive black hole of a place, and my life has been filled with all this pain and shit, right? She was the only good thing I had; now she’s back. I could get her back.” Carmy finally took a breath, and Jason shifted in his seat and moved his pen between his fingers like he had done when he was in deep contemplation. 

“Do you remember your first goal when we started seeing each other?” 

Carmy thought momentarily before a laugh escaped his chest. “I said I wanted to feel in control of my life.” Jason nodded and shifted in his seat again. “I sound insane, don’t I? I left this woman high and dry. She doesn’t want me back, but I need to apologize for the last time we saw each other.”

“What if she doesn’t accept your apology? Do you think you can accept that?”

Carmy scoffed at the question, “There’s no way she’s going to accept my apology. I think I can accept that… but can you concede it was, in fact, a sign that all of this is happening right now, right?”

“I believe in coincidences. I want you to tell me the worst-case scenario, the best-case scenario, and the most realistic scenario of what this meeting will result in.” Jason calmly asked while he maintained eye contact with Carmy.

“Okay…” Carmy nodded as he thought for a moment. “Worst case scenario, she either doesn’t show up, or she does show up and makes a scene tellin’ me what a d-bag I am- granted, she wouldn’t use that language. She’d say something WAY harsher, which is one of the many things I love- loved about her. She always spoke her mind… best case scenario, we get coffee. While we’re drinking our coffee, she tells me she’s moving to Chicago, and I ask her out, and we get back together.”

“Idealistic. I like that. What’s the most realistic?” Jason asked with a chuckle.

“We get coffee, we talk. She decides she doesn’t hate me for leaving her, and I don’t know beyond that…” Carmy answered truthfully.

~~

“This is a mistake…” you mumbled to yourself as you adjusted Hailey on your lap. Gingersnap Coffee was a small coffee shop. It was cute, definitely a place Carmy and you would’ve gone to when you two were together in New York. You sighed and went back to watching the door as Hailey flopped her giraffe toy on the table. 

Carmy arrived at the coffee shop on the dot at 3:30. He saw you sitting at the back table and felt a surge of energy overcome him. The two of you made eye contact; Carmy grinned as he approached the table. You stood up awkwardly, resulting in Haliey pausing her giraffe story, “Hey,” you smiled weakly, immediately regretting the fact you brought Hailey. Carmy was about to greet you when Hailey curiously looked up at him. He glanced down at the little girl and felt his heart stop. 

Carmy stared at Hailey. She smiled at him and pushed her giraffe toy in his direction. Unsure of what to do, he looked at you, then back at Hailey, then at you again before finally sputtering, “Yo-you have a kid?” 

You nodded slowly and gestured for him to sit down. Carmy hesitated, but after you sat down, he followed suit. Carmy stared at Hailey. “I shoulda told you.” you passively excused.

“W-wait…” Carmy started, “She’s… is she?”

You nodded at Carmy’s implication, “I can explain-”

Carmy shook his head, “You had my baby and didn’t tell me? Were you ever going to tell me?” 

“You left me,” you said in a hushed, blunt tone, “Carm, you told me to forget about you. I gave you the ring back. I blocked your number. I was trying to forget about you- then I found out I was pregnant. I hadn’t talked to you in weeks, and I figured if you could so easily throw away our engagement-”

“No.” Carmy spoke sternly, “If I knew you were pregnant, I woulda done the right thing.”

The two of you sat in a tense silence interrupted by Hailey sneezing multiple times, “Bess you!” she giggled, making you laugh as you dug a tissue out of your purse to wipe her nose. Carmy leaned back and watched the scene before him, realizing he’d missed two years of her life. “Tank you Momma.” 

Carmy wrung his hands out under the table and nervously glanced at the decorative clock on the wall adjacent to the table the three of you had occupied. “Do you wanna hold her?” your question surprised Carmy. He thought briefly before slowly nodding, “Okay… so Hailey, this is one of Mommy’s friends?” you stopped yourself and sighed. “That’s a lie… this is your Dad…” 

Dad. Camy felt like his chest would explode as you spoke to Hailey. The word echoed in his head as he accepted Hailey in his arms. She looked up at him with curious eyes. “Hi,” she softly greeted him as she reached up to touch Carmy’s face. He smiled at her.

“Hi,” Carmy repeated softly, “Is-is that- do… do you like giraffes?” 

~~

You were supposed to go back to New York the day after tomorrow; you stared up at the ceiling that night. As tired as you were, you couldn’t turn your brain off. Guilt, shame, regret… you should’ve told Carmy you were pregnant. What did he even mean by ‘do the right thing’? Would he have abandoned Mikey’s restaurant and come back to New York? Would the two of you gotten back together? Hailey’s life would’ve been so different if he’d been there from the start. You sighed, reached for your phone from the side table, and quickly scrolled to Carmy’s contact. You paused for a moment; it was almost 2 in the morning. You knew he was probably still awake.

“Hey- you okay?” Carmy answered on the first ring. “Yeah- can’t sleep… I’m due back in New York… I don’t know if I got the principal job… what do we do?” your voice quivered as you softly spoke into the phone. “I don’t know… I know I’ve only met Hailey once, but I love her. I can’t walk away from her.” 

“Are you watching that Italian grandma cooking show?” Carmy chuckled at your question, “Yeah… can’t sleep.” the line was quiet momentarily, “Hailey and I used to watch it when she was colic.” 

“She’s my kid.” Carmy chuckled. You nodded, knowing he couldn’t see you through the phone. You rolled onto your side and watched Hailey sleep. She was sprawled out, taking up most of the bed with her little body. “If I get this job and move out here permanently, do you want to do a shared custody thing? I guess it could start with the three of us, and then you can have more individual time with her…”

“Are you seeing anyone?” Carmy asked, ignoring the custody question entirely. “What do you think? I’m workin’ two jobs and have a two-year-old.” you laughed. Carmy smiled and pushed a hand through his hair, “Okay… guess I just wanted to know if- I know you probably don’t wanna get back together, but I don’t know… I was talkin’ to my therapist earlier. He gave some perspective- I wasn’t the man you deserved. I treated you like fuckin’ shit, and I’ve spent the last two years of my life trying to forget about you and move on with my life and create something Mikey would be proud of… I regret how we ended and hate myself for not being involved in Hailey’s life. When I was holding her and-and she was tellin’ that story about her giraffe… I can’t go back to not being in her life.” Carmy admitted. “Uh- if you get that job and move out here, there’s an empty two-bedroom in my building. This isn’t me sayin’ we should move in together or anything, but um, if we’re in the same building, I can help with Hailey more and make that a little easier on ya and get to know her- what do you think?” 

“Wow… um…” you swallowed as thoughts raced through your head, “No pressure. If you stay in New York, I can visit- maybe… maybe move back? I haven’t really thought about it, but I want to be in Hailey’s life.” Carmy sputtered. “Uh- yeah… yeah. Even if I get the job out here, I still have to go back to New York to put in my two-week notice and talk to my landlord and just- just a lot of stuff…” 

“I didn’t scare you off, did I?” Carmy awkwardly laughed, “No. I mean- we won’t get back together just because we have a kid. But I’m open to you being in Hailey’s life.” 

~~

“You’re fuckin’ crazy.” Richie coldly said as he helped carry boxes upstairs. Carmy rolled his eyes, opting to ignore him. “Carmen, are you even sure she’s your kid?” 

“Will you shut the fuck up? Hailey is my daughter. I don’t need a test to prove it.” Carmy defended as he dropped a box on the floor of your new apartment. You’d gotten the principal position and moved to Chicago. With help from Danny and Richie, today was the day you and Hailey were officially moving out of Danny’s guest room and into the two-bedroom apartment across the hall from Carmy’s place.

“You didn’t say the empty apartment was directly across the hall from you.” you laughed as you entered the apartment. You noticed the tension between Richie and Carmy; your arrival in Chicago surprised the Berzatto family. While you and Carmy were together, you’d never been formally introduced to any of his family. Natalie and Pete welcomed you with open arms. She was happy to be an aunt and to see Carmy happy. Richie and Donna, on the other hand, were apprehensive about your presence in Carmy’s life. 

Carmy shrugged. “It’s not a problem, is it?” He tried to be nonchalant and keep his flirty tone more subdued, but everyone saw through it. Richie rolled his eyes and went back out to the moving van.

“Carm.”

“I just wanna be close by, not the worst thing in the world.” Carmy defended himself. You shook your head and took a box into Hailey’s bedroom. Carmy watched you walk away, swallowing softly when his eyes landed on your butt. He shook his head and walked across the hall. He entered his apartment to see Suzie sitting on the floor with Hailey. 

“Hey.” Suzie smiled when she noticed Carmy standing by the door. Hailey looked up and happily squealed. You and Hailey had been in Chicago for a couple of weeks, and Carmy was really trying to see Hailey as often as he could.

Carmy sat on the floor by Suzie while Hailey pushed herself off the floor to sit on his lap. He smiled and hugged her loosely, saying, “Hi, baby girl.” Hailey cuddled into his chest, making his heart flutter. 

You’d finished wrangling the boxes and wandered out of your apartment and across the hall to Carmy’s. You were going to ask if he was hungry but stopped when you saw Carmy leaning against the couch, cradling a sleeping Hailey, “And then you blanch the greens- that’s when you boil or steam something and immediately dip it in ice water. Your Momma used to hate greens, so one day, I made her this recipe, and she said it was the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted.” 

“I think she’s asleep,” you commented as you approached the couch. Carmy looked up at you and smiled.

“She is… I just wanted to finish reading this recipe to her.” Carmy shrugged, placing the book on the coffee table. You sat next to Carmy on the floor and put your head on Carmy’s shoulder as you watched Hailey’s chest rise and fall. 

“Where’d Suzie go?” you asked, scooting closer to Carmy. You noticed him swallow nervously before explaining she had to go to work. “You’re good with her,” you commented, referring to how Carmy cradled Hailey protectively.

“You think so?” Carmy asked as he shifted his attention to you.

You nodded, “You’re a natural.” 

Carmy scoffed, “I wouldn’t say I’m a natural… I just wanna make up for lost time.” you nodded again and snaked an arm around Carmy’s waist. He tensed at the feeling and sat straighter.

“Well, you’re doin’ great.”

~~

“Daddy!” Hailey happily squealed as Carmy walked into your apartment that morning. He smiled and put the bag he’d been carrying on the counter as he closed the front door with his foot. 

“Hi, baby girl.” he leaned down to pick her up. Hailey hugged him tightly and started explaining a dream she’d had. Carmy smiled and bounced her on his hip. He listened contently as he went into the kitchen. You heard the commotion from your bedroom. You smiled as Carmy’s voice carried through your askew bedroom door. As you finished getting ready for work, you noticed the conversation between Hailey and Carmy. It had been about six months since you’d moved to Chicago, and Carmy was holding on to his promise to be involved in Hailey’s life. Watching your daughter fall in love with him was touching. He was so calm around her and interested in everything she said.

When you left your bedroom, you saw Carmy and Hailey sitting at the table. She was happily munching on a bowl of cereal, and Carmy sat back, drinking a cup of coffee. “Hey Carmy, hi sugar cookie.” you smiled as you leaned in to kiss Hailey’s cheek. She squealed, making you smile before kissing her other cheek.

“Daddy, kiss too!” Hailey demanded, pointing to Carmy. 

“You want Daddy to kiss your cheek, too?” you asked, resting your chin on her head. 

“No! Daddy kiss too!” Hailey demanded again, “Momma, kiss Daddy too!”

You looked at Carmy and saw a blush creeping up his cheeks. “Do you think Daddy wants a kiss, too?”  Hailey squealed and pointed at Carmy again. You nodded and kissed the top of her head before moving over to kiss his cheek. Hailey giggled and went back to eating her cereal. Carmy swallowed softly and quickly finished his coffee before abruptly standing up to rinse out his coffee cup. You waited a second before joining him in the kitchen. “Sorry, was that weird?”

Carmy shook his head, “No, it was okay, but… can Daddy have a real kiss sometime?” 

“I think that can be arranged.” you chimed nonchalantly. 

“Can Daddy take you out sometime?” 

“Only if you stop referring to yourself as Daddy.” you laughed as you playfully pushed his shoulder. 

“Deal.”

[shukraastro]

Vedic Astrology - Future Spouse Prediction: Appearance (+ Traits) part 2

In the previous post I gave examples for the physical attributes and influences of the planets and some Nakshatras. In this post I will give some more traits which I came to find out trough a mixture of research from other astrologers/websites and own my observations of charts I have analized and done readings on. So I will try my best to summarize them as much as I can. And again I can only highly recommend you to watch yt channels of various vedic astrologers. The information you will gather from them is gold. I might do a post next time where I give you links to all the vedic astrology channels on yt.

Btw, apologies if my post is lacking some structure, because I really don't know where to start cuz the results of all these combinations of planets+planets or planets+nakshatras are really a lot, so I sometimes get lost. So you might notice that I forget to mentions something and then might add them later on. So sorry for that. Now let's start🌟

Techniques: I have noticed that when it comes to the appearance, we're prominently influenced by our Moon Nakshatra, Ascendant Nakshatra and Atmakaraka Nakshatra. The traits and influences of these placements will be very visible in the appearance. Now when it comes to the spouses appearance we have to consider every spouse indicator placements first and not only in the D1 chart or only in D9 chart but in both of them. As discussed in the previous post, we have to look at the 7th house, the planets in the 7th house (especially the Nakshatra), where the 7th lord is placed at. Another thing I have observed is that the sign, nakshatra and planet influence will tell you about the physical traits and then counting the house placements in that will give you information about their personality traits, career, talents, hobbies, family, house and all that. (Planets in signs and houses can also give informations about the physical traits, but for that I will make another post because that is a totally different technique.) However, then we look at the Darakaraka planet in both charts in which Nakshatra it's placed in. I have also noticed that in the case of the appearance Venus and Jupiter placements can also give more insight into the appearance of the spouse. Venus about the wife and Jupiter about the husband, for that we have to consider the aspects, what planets are making aspects, especially conjunctions and mutual aspects (a mutual aspect is an opposition). Also another thing I came to realize is... now some people may disagree on this but I have seen this in quite some few charts... Look at the Nakshatra of your Atmakaraka planet in the D9 chart. I have seen that the spouse can majorly carry the traits of that Nakshatra, I still haven't figured out the reason behind that and it's frustrating me because I would really like to understand that. But it is something which I have seen (not always but) quite frequently in charts of married people, that they embody the traits from the Nakshatra in which their spouses Atmakaraka is placed in the D9 chart.

Planets + Nakshatra influence examples:

As I already mentioned the physical traits of the Moon, I want to explain to you guys how the Moon in some Nakshatras can give the opposite result, for example Moon in Chitra can give a very lean and tall appearance, I have seen this play out in charts of some individuals themselves or in the appearance of their spouse when Moon was the Darakaraka: Adriana Lima (Chitra Moon), Elsa Hosk (Chitra Moon), Justin Bieber (Chitra Moon Darakaraka) Hailey is very lean and tall. If Venus is in Chitra... then it really depends on the gender, because Chitra is half in Virgo half in Libra but the Nakshatra ruler is Mars. So here you have to apply some math and also understand the values of Venus deeply. In both signs Virgo and Libra a man will be athletic and slim, because of the Mars influence. But if we talk about women, Venus in Chitra loves to look voluptious and feminine and in Virgo Venus is debilitated. It will give a beauty with flaws and imperfections, because Venus will challenge the sign of Virgo, because Virgo is so obsessed with perfection. Venus won't give that in the Virgo sign, Venus wants Virgo to prove that they can truly love someone with all their imperfections. And as I mentioned in the previous post Chitra can give stretch marks somewhere on the body in women (Chitra is the female tiger). So Venus in Chitra will give curves, maybe a little bit of a full belly, just think about the painting of Aphrodite coming out of the sea shell, Aphrodite is always depicted to have a roundish belly. And in Virgo especially the imperfections will be more amplified, it can give the stretch marks, or scars in the face or imperfect teeth (now they may or may not want to perfect these physical flaws, that's another thing). For Darakaraka/7th lord/Venus or Jupiter in Rahu/Ketu ruled Nakshatras (Rahu: Ardra, Swati, Shatabhishak & Ketu: Ashwini, Magha, Mula) you need to look where Rahu or Ketu is placed in which Nakshatra, because Rahu and Ketu are not physical planets, they do not have a shape or form so in such a case DK/7th lord/Venus/Jupiter if placed in these Nakshatras, will draw traits from their dispositor. For example: Darakaraka is Moon in Mula, Moon traits will be present, Mula traits will be present. Ketu on its own doesn't carry many traits, it will give the exoticness and the unconventional traits, but mostly it will give traits from it's own Nakshatra placement. Let's say Ketu is placed in Purva Phalguni, then Pruva Phalguni traits will be present. And I have seen this strongly play out in the D1 chart. Every method plays out very differently, some are very accurate in the D1 but not in D9 and vise versa or some methods are accurate for both charts.

I should do a seperate post on planets in Nakshatras and their influences to share some observations. Because I can't just limit them only on the physical appearance. The influences go way beyond that. I hope I could give you a look from a different perspective. Like I said these are some of the results I have seen and have worked in my analysis when I looked at charts of family, friends and relatives as well as some celebrity charts.

Thanks for reading🌺

[peachyhalstead]

alive | j. halstead

summary: chasing down an offender doesn't go quite as planned (dw it ends fluffy)

pairing: established (married) fem!reader x jay halstead, platonic!reader x adam ruzek

word count: 1.75k

warnings: canon-level violence, gunshot, hospitals, medical inaccuracies

a/n: meet a seasoned fanfic writer's first fic about jay <3 please let me know what you think of this !! also it was originally written in 3rd pov so if you see anything wrong, no you didn't ---- You followed Adam down the alley, weapons drawn. "Chicago PD! Stop!"

You felt your lungs burn as you raced down the alley, nodding when you saw Adam silently gesture to enter through the front door, and he would take the back.

Noticing the door was already open, you walked in, eyes alert for any sign of a victim or offender.

Hearing Adam call out a "clear!" you opened your mouth to do the same, but didn't make it that far as you heard three shots ring out, feeling two sharp pains tear through your body.

Adam, having seen the offender shoot you, quickly fired a round of his own weapon, pressing a button on his radio. "5021 Ida, shots fired by offender and police! We need an ambo to our location, plain-clothed officers at the scene, one in need of urgent medical care!"

Near the end of the block that you and Adam were on, Jay's head shot up to meet Hailey's, hearing their coworker's distraught call into the radio.

The two sprinted out of their location, and down to the abandoned house, hearing the sirens grow louder.

"Ruz! Where are you guys?!" Jay called, stomping through the house.

He felt his heart plummet when he saw his wife on the floor, bullet hole in your shoulder and belly, Adam holding his jacket over the wounds.

"Y/N!" He fell to his knees next to you, letting out a breath when you looked at him.

"J-Jay, I didn't see him coming." You mumbled, breaths shaky.

"Shh, it's okay, hon. You're going to be alright." Jay reassured you, his hands trembling as he reached out to stroke her the back from your face. He shot a panicked look at Adam, who was still pressing down on the bullet wounds.

"Ambo's en route, Jay," Adam said, his voice tight with worry. "She's strong, she's gonna pull through this."

Jay didn't answer, his attention solely focused on his wife. He held onto your hand, willing his strength into you. "Hang in there, baby."

"I'm trying," you answered weakly.

Just then Voight and Kevin Atwater stormed into the room. The sight of you on the floor left them momentarily stunned before they sprung into action. Voight acknowledged Ruzek with a curt nod and Atwater immediately moved to Jay's side, helping apply pressure to your wounds.

The sirens outside grew louder as the ambulance neared their location. It wasn't long before the paramedics came rushing in with a stretcher, immediately getting to work on stabilizing you for transport to Med.

As they carried you out of the house, Jay followed closely behind, fear etched on his face but determination in his eyes. He watched as they loaded yoiu into the ambulance before climbing in right after them.

The team was left in the eerily quiet house -- a stark contrast to the chaos moments ago. Voight looked around at his team, each one wearing an expression of concern and fear for their colleague.

"Everyone alright?" he asked gruffly, though there was a hint of concern in his tone.

Ruzek and Atwater both nodded, and soon the team made their way to Chicago Med, making home in the waiting room, wanting to be there for both you and Jay.

Jay, having hopped out of the ambulance as you were unloaded and ushered into a trauma room, a few nurses stopping him from going in. "Jay, Jay stop!"

The detective pulled a hand through his hair, looking at his older brother, Will. "Will, you gotta help her, man."

Shaking his head, he nodded to where his coworkers Dr. Marcel and Dr. Choi were working on you, who had since lost consciousness. "I can't, bro. She's family, against hospital policy."

Jay hit the wall, tears coming to his eyes. "I can't lose her, man. We just got married, this can't be the end."

Will clapped his brother on the back, jaw tense. "They got her, Jay. She'll be good, she's a strong one."

The two brothers watched as you were rushed into emergency surgery, being told to wait in the waiting room for any updates.

------

Jay stared at the clock on the wall across from him, watching the hands move as time passed. It had been two hours since you were taken to the O.R., and as much as Will tried, he wasn't able to get any more information out of his coworkers.

"Hey, man." Adam walked over to Jay, handing him a coffee.

"Thanks." Jay spoke, voice raw. "You saved her life, Ruz."

Adam shook his head, sitting next to Jay. "It was my idea to split up. If we stuck together, maybe she wouldn't have gotten hit."

Jay looked at his friend. "Don't blame yourself, Ruz."

The two detectives sat in silence, only perking up when Will and Dr. Marcel walked out into the waiting room.

"Is she-" Jay cut himself off, unable to finish the question.

"She's alive. We got both the bullets out, there was some damage to her shoulder, but we were able to repair it all."

Jay let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, grateful smile on his face. "Can I see her?"

Dr. Marcel shook his head. "Not right now. She's being moved to a recovery room in the I.C.U., a nurse will come out to bring you to her when she's settled."

"Will she still be able to be a cop?" Adam asked, the question plaguing him ever since he saw you hit the ground.

"With physical therapy and rest, Y/N should get full function and mobility of her shoulder. It won't be fast, she'll need lots of rest."

Jay thanked the surgeon, shaking his hand before he walked away.

------

Once the team had all heard that you made it through surgery, they headed back to the district to close up the case, the offender in CPD's morgue.

Jay sat up when a nurse walked over to him, smile on her face. Maggie, he recalled, from when Will introduced them a while ago. "She’s awake, she's asking for you."

Rising from the uncomfortable seat, Jay groaned as his back cracked, following Maggie down the halls to the I.C.U.

He smiled when he finally laid eyes on you, blinking blearily as the door opened and you saw your husband.

"Jay," you sighed in relief, her voice barely a whisper.

His breath hitched in his throat as he approached the bed. Your face was paler than he remembered, hair fanned out on the white hospital pillow. The sight of seeing you awake, those sparkling eyes looking at him despite being clouded by painkillers and fatigue, was enough to bring tears prickling in his eyes.

"Hey, baby," he murmured, carefully taking your hand and pressing a kiss to it. "How are you feeling?"

You gave a small wry smile. "Like I’ve been shot twice."

He chuckled weakly, stroking your hand with his thumb. "They said you did great in surgery."

You shrugged slightly, wincing after. "I don't remember much."

"They also said you’ll need a lot of rest and physical therapy for your shoulder."

You nodded slowly. “That’s okay. I can handle it.”

Jay looked at you, admiration clear in his eyes. Despite having just woken up from surgery and being shot twice, you were still trying to put up a brave face.

"There's my soldier," he said softly, brushing a loose strand of your hair from her your-drenched forehead.

Just then there was a soft knock on the door and Will walked in followed Dr. Marcel.

Dr. Marcel greeted you two with a warm smile as he approached your bed. He checked on your vitals before turning to Will and Jay.

"She's doing well considering the circumstances," Dr. Marcel reported.

Will nodded, sending you a comforting smile. "Should be able to get discharged in a few day’s time."

You nodded, looking at the sling your arm was in. "How long do I need to wear this?"

Dr. Marcel smirked, Will had warned him that his sister-in-law wasn't one to sit around and do nothing. "At least a month, but it depends on how your physical therapy goes. But, for a couple weeks, you can't move your arm. We had to repair some muscles in your shoulder, so it'll be sore."

You nodded, thanking the doctor as he left, Will following.

Jay looked at you, sad smile on his face. "Ruz is blaming himself."

You frowned, trying to sit up, wincing as your abdomen throbbed.

"Hey, hey, take it easy." Jay helped you sit up, making sure you were comfortable.

"Can I see the team? At least Adam, I want him to know it wasn't his fault." You looked at your husband, who nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead, heading down to grab the team.

------

After a few days, you were finally able to leave the hospital. You had signed the discharge paperwork, and Jay walked back into the room after pulling the car around, soft smile on his face when he saw you struggling to get her coat on, one arm still in the sling.

"Here, let me help," he offered, walking over to you. He helped you put on the coat, paying extra attention to not disturb your injured shoulder.

You met his eyes and offered him a soft smile. "Thanks, babe."

Jay just nodded, his throat choked with emotion. He was relieved that you were okay but knew you had a long way to go for your complete recovery. He gently took your hand, gave it a squeeze, and lead out of the room.

As they walked through the silent corridors, you leaned into him slightly. It was subtle but Jay noticed it immediately. He wrapped his arm around you, offering her comfort and support. The worry lines on his face seemed to deepen as they moved towards the exit of the hospital.

Outside, the city was bustling as usual. The harsh city lights reflected off Jay's face as he helped you into their car before moving around to sit in the driver's seat.

The ride home was quiet. The only sound was the low hum of the engine and the occasional honk from nearby traffic. You were staring out of the window, mind lost in thoughts while Jay focused on driving, occasionally glancing over at his wife.

“Hey, Jay?” You looked over at him, voice quiet.

Jay hummed, glancing at you while he pressed on the gas petal when the light turned green.

“Just,” you paused, feeling a teenager in love again. “I love you.” ---- a/n: did u like it? also please don't expect good titles ever titles always make me wanna punch a brick wall

[psychostxr]

𝐣𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐢 | emotions

PAIRING. jordan li x gn! reader

WORD COUNT. 0.7k

WARNINGS. cursing, mentions of death, marie bashing (i'm sorry)

NOTES. i have also hopped on the jordan li train, and my god, i've never had a character chokehold me so tightly

Since Marie Moreau joined Godolkin University, everything has gone downhill. After the death of your friend Luke and the murder of your favorite professor, your life has gone through a ball of shit. You didn't want to blame Marie. The poor girl got caught up in Luke's drama — drama you didn't even know existed — she's just as traumatized as you are.

That's what you would've said before news spread around school that Marie and Andre were the ones that stopped Luke, not Jordan. Your partner who actually fought Luke while Marie ran at the first sign of danger. The thought of Marie frustrates you to no end, but you have other things to worry about, such as Jordan locking themself in their room since classes ended.

For as long as you've known Jordan, they've always been competitive. They climbed up the school's student ranks at Godolkin, beating almost anyone and everyone who tried to get in their way. They were one stop away from being first-ranked. But because of Marie and Andre's 'courageous act' of stopping Luke, they've been pushed up the ladder, while Jordan has to settle for fifth. It hurts to see Jordan so angry at the world and themself.

You knock gently on Jordan's door, hearing the muffled sounds of what you presume to be Marie's interview with Hailey Miller. The room goes quiet, and you wait a few moments for Jordan to open the door. But they don't.

"I know you're in there, Jordan." You turn the doorknob, rattling the door in your unsuccessful attempt to get in. You sigh and lean your head against the door. "Please open up, baby. I'm worried about you."

There's a moment of silence until the door cracks open. You take a step back, seeing Jordan's somber expression.

"Hey," you say, smiling softly. "Can I come in?"

Jordan hesitantly returns your smile. "Sure."

They open the door wider, allowing you to enter their dimly lit room. Their room is nothing from the usual, with clothes strewn over their couch and textbooks scattered on their desk. You pull your bag off your back, setting it down on Jordan's bed to retrieve your laptop and the takeout you bought from Vought A Burger.

"I was thinking we could maybe watch Property Brothers and have dinner together?" you suggest. "Or any other show if you want?"

Jordan shakes their head, their lips quirking upwards. "That sounds really nice, actually."

You pass Jordan the takeout, unsure if they've eaten anything since having lunch with you earlier today. You quickly set up the laptop on the coffee table before sitting on Jordan's bed.

Leaning against the headboard, you open your arms wide. "Come here."

Jordan doesn't hesitate, settling themselves in your waiting embrace. Their arms wrap around your torso, pulling them closer until their head finds a comfortable spot nestled against your stomach.

Feeling the weight of Jordan's emotions, you hold your partner close, your arms enveloping Jordan's shoulders. You softly kiss the crown of Jordan's head, your lips brushing against their ink-black hair.

"I'm sorry you're having a shitty day," you whisper, threading your fingers through their silky strands. "It's not fair."

"It's not your fault," Jordan says, sighing. "Shit happens."

"This school is shit," you explain, your anger spiking. "You've worked your fucking ass off to become second-ranked at Godolkin, but because of Marie and our asshole of a principal, you've lost your spot."

Jordan lifts their head to look at you. "It sounds like you're more upset than me."

"I'm sorry, it's just..." You shake your head before staring lovingly at Jordan. "I love you so much, Jordan. So much that I feel everything you feel. When you feel angry, I feel angry. When you're sad, I'm sad. So when you go through these obstacles in life, you aren't alone. I will always be there for you, baby."

Jordan crumbles at your words, and a small smile plays on their lips. They lift themself and lean towards you. Their lips press against yours gently before pulling away, leaving you no time to savour the kiss.

"I'm lucky to have you," they admit.

As you grin, you pull Jordan closer into another kiss. But this time, you can feel the intense emotions radiating off them, and you soak in the passion and love from Jordan's kiss. The rest of the night is spent in each other's arms, binge-watching Property Brothers and devouring greasy takeout.

© psychostxr — all rights reserved. please do not repost, copy, translate, or claim any of my works as your own.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Lucky Bluejay

Jay Halstead x Reader

Since you were young Bluejays were your goodluck charms. Every time you were at your lowest one was there watching over you. It wasn't until you joined intelligence that you figured out life may have led you to your very own lucky bluejay or well a blue eyed Jay anyways..

It started when you were six. Bluejays. You were at your cousin's house for the summer, outside playing hide and seek. You almost hid in a bush but a bluejay got your attention and you followed it, the next second your uncle screamed because a rattlesnake crawled out from under the very bush you almost hid in.

The next time you remembered was when you were eleven. You weren't making friends in a new grade, they didn't like the new kid. You were sitting by yourself in the break area outside. A bluejay came and sat next to you while you read. You ended up making friends with one girl simply because she went bird watching with her aunt.

For years it seemed every time you needed a little bit of protection, even if it was just emotional one of those little blue birds would show up.

The one that really stuck with you was when you were seventeen. You got in a car wreck, it was pretty bad. They had to end up cutting you out of the wreckage. The only thing that helped you hold onto consciousness was focusing on a bluejay that was sitting atop the fire truck parked close to your car or what was left of your car. Every time your eyes would start to close the bird would flap its wings or make some noise so your eyes would refocus.

The doctors told you at the hospital if you would’ve lost consciousness at the scene you probably would’ve never woken up again.  The day you turned eighteen you got a tattoo of a bluejay on your right shoulder blade. Just a reminder to yourself that apparently somewhere out there someone wanted you to keep going.

The day you graduated from the academy you felt your heart skip when you spotted two bluejays sitting in a tree across the way as if they were watching the proceedings themselves.  Your little lucky charms giving you a tip of their wings on the next step of your life. 

You were approached by Sergeant Trudy Platt for an open spot in intelligence. When you questioned why she’d come instead of Sergeant Voight she’d smiled “Hank figured you’d be more likely to say yes if I asked”

You’d worked with everyone in the unit in passing. You knew they needed a new detective considering Voight was down a man but hadn’t expected yourself to be a draft pick. “Ok” you agreed because you couldn’t say no to that big of a step up in your career.

_____________

You stood next to Voight while he officially introduced you to everyone in the unit. “I remember you. Al used to say you were a damn good cop” Adam said and you smiled “I’ll take that compliment any day Ruzek”  Kim smiled “We rode together a few months. Good to have you here” 

One by one everyone welcomed you. Voight nodded to Jay Halstead who was coming up the stairs just as he’d gotten through with introductions “You know Halstead?” “Yes sir. I worked with him and Lindsay a time or two” he nodded “Good. He’s your partner”

Jay looked from Voight to you “Welcome to the unit” you smiled “Thanks”

You let your head fall back against the seat in Jay’s truck. Your neck was killing you, your back was cramping and this guy hadn’t moved in hours. The wire tap was getting nothing but snoring at this point. “What’s wrong?” he asked, cutting his eyes at you.

You groaned lightly “Old injury wanting to flare up, just happens if I sit too long” he nodded “From that wreck?” you raised an eyebrow at him “I was talking to Hailey about that, not you” he grinned “Sorry, I felt I had the right to know any past injuries my partner has had” you shook your head “Next thing you know you’re gonna be getting Will to pull my medical records or calling that buddy of yours to dig into me deeper”

He tilted his head as if he was considering it and you started laughing “Or here’s a thought Jay, if you wanna know anything about me, just ask” He nodded, turning his eyes back towards the house “Ok, how bad was that wreck?” “They had to cut me out. Doc at the er said if I hadn’t stayed awake they probably would’ve lost me”

“Damn and at seventeen?” you nodded “Some idiot blew through a red when I was on my way home after school” he shook his head “Ok, next question..why did you turn that guy down at Molly’s the other night?” “Woah! Foul play there Halstead! Not partner talk!” you laughed and he grinned “You said if I want to know to ask”

What were you supposed to tell him? You had slowly started to fall for him? That any guy that tried to get your attention didn’t have the right shade of blue to their eyes or the right grin when they spoke to you. You shrugged “Maybe he wasn’t my type. No more questions. The patrol should be here soon to relieve us”

He nodded and got quiet for a moment before saying “Got any tattoos?” “Halstead I swear!” you threatened and was rewarded with the sound of his laughter. “C’mon..I just wanna know. You don’t have to show me” you cut your eyes at him and smirked “One” then turned your eyes back to the house, listening to him mumble under his breath trying to figure out where your tattoo was.

“I’m fine Jay! The vest caught it!” you tried to convince your partner but the sharp intake of breath that came from you did little to convince him. He stepped closer, blue eyes holding you in place “Take your vest off. Now” you raised an eyebrow “We’re the same rank detective. Do not order me”

His eyes softened “Sweetheart please” you let him undo the straps on your vest and lift it over your head. His hands were warm, lightly tracing over your side to make sure he couldn’t feel anything broken. “Told ya the vest caught it” you argued and he glared at you “You’re still going to med. A quick X-Ray. Just to make sure” you knew you couldn’t argue, after Kevin’s collapsed lung that one time it was protocol. 

“Fine but you have to stay with me” he grinned “Deal”

____________

You were sitting on the bed with your arms crossed, glaring at Jay. Luckily you’d worn a sports bra to work that day so you’d only had to strip your shirt off to put the gown on but you were forced to sit and wait for the tests to come back. Will stood at the foot of your bed with them “Nothing’s broken or cracked. She’s fine”

“See? Worried for nothing” you told Jay then looked at Will “Can I leave?” he laughed “Yes you can” you didn’t even care they were in the room, your sports bra covered more than most tank tops. You reached for your shirt and slipped the gown off but mentally kicked yourself when you heard Jay say “Is that a bird?” followed by Will’s laughter “I believe that’s a bluejay” 

You felt your face warm as you slipped your shirt on and hopped off the bed “Let’s go younger Halstead” “Bye detective” Will spoke so you glanced over your shoulder at him “Bye Will”

______________

“Why a bluejay?” you were trying desperately to avoid answering Jay’s questions. You didn’t want him to tease you about why you loved the birds. You couldn’t take him making fun of you “No reason” you lied and he nodded “So we’re lying to each other now huh?”

You sighed “Ok, promise not to laugh?” he made a motion like he was crossing his heart “I swear” you went into telling him every time you’d had interactions with the bird. He listened intently, looking at you as the traffic allowed. Your stomach twisted waiting for teasing but instead he smiled “Hell if they kept you awake I like bluejays now” you felt your face warm slightly “Really? You don’t think it’s weird?”

He shook his head “Sweetheart you don’t know weird superstitions until you’re in the army” he went into telling you about a few guys he served with and you felt the knot loosen. He was the only person who’d never teased you about the birds.

“Stupid thing!” you growled kicking the side of your car. It wouldn’t crank, it looked like it was going to start raining, you were exhausted and hadn’t eaten anything all day because you’d dropped your lunch and had yet to make it home.

You dropped your head over onto your arm and was on the verge of tears when you heard someone call your name. You looked up to see Jay, he was wearing that damn blue henley you’d long since fallen in love with and that smile that twisted your heart a million different directions “What’s wrong sweetheart?” he asked once he was closer.

You hit your car again “It won’t start, I’m tired and hungry and it’s about to start raining” he laughed lightly “C’mon. I’ll buy you some dinner and get you home then if it’s not raining I’ll come back and see if I can get it going. If not I’ll pick you up in the morning and call my car guy to come see what’s wrong”

You laughed lightly and he raised both eyebrows “Are you laughing at me offering to help?” you shook your head and reached a hand out to run across his chest, pulling the shirt up to emphasis it “My luck with blue jays coming to my rescue holds out” he shook his head with a grin “You’re better be glad you’re so fucking cute or the weirdness may win out one of these days”

“You think I’m cute?” you asked and was rewarded with a blush gracing his face “Just get in the truck before it starts raining” you leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek “You’re pretty fucking cute yourself Halstead” then ran to get in his truck as the first raindrops started falling and he ran to catch up with you.

[spencerreiddddd]

Cabin Trouble 2

Content: continuation of Cabin Trouble, go back and read part 1.

Gist: pt2

Not proofread

You now stood in the room awkwardly holding onto the handle of your luggage as Spencer set up the pull out bed for you.

Maeve’s and Spencer’s bed was directly infront of the pull out bed with a wide gap in the middle that led to the bathroom and closet. Maeve was currently in the bathroom setting up her and Spencer’s side of the double sink.

“Alright all done, this is better than that couch downstairs.” Spencer said walking over to you standing extremely close.

You shifted uncomfortably “Spence I don’t think this is a good idea.” You said looking up at his face his eyebrows furrowing at your comment.

“In what way?” He asked looking at you softly

“You and Maeve deserve privacy, and I don’t want to be the reason y’all can’t….enjoy yourselves.” You said awkwardly smiling at what you were implying. “Enjoy ourselves?” Spencer questioned confused

“Physically, intimate.” You said gagging at your words and the thought that popped into your mind.

Spencer’s eyebrows shot up and a small smile grew on his face as he took your hand into his. “That doesn’t matter, you being comfortable means more to me than THAT….plus we don’t do it much if that makes you feel better.” Spencer said smiling big causing you to gasp and pull your hand he was holding up to your mouth to cover the small laugh that escaped your lips.

“Spencer I don’t think I should know that.” You said looking up at him.

“Know what?” Meave said as she walked out the bathroom and up to where you and Spencer where standing.

“Nothing, let’s set up our bed.” Spencer said guiding Maeve to their side of the room and helping put up their luggage and clothes.

Everyone was downstairs it was night time, around 9pm it was dark and trees surrounded the window filled cabin.

“Alright who’s up for a game!” Penelope yelped out as she stood up clearly a little drunk already.

Everyone started cheering.

“Okay so Kevin and I had an idea a few hours ago, since we’re all couples here we wanted to do a sort of romantic horror game.” Penelope said as she guided everyone outside into the cold chilly air. Kevin began handing every couple a flashlight and he handed you one flashing you an apologetic smile. You groaned internally, you honestly didn’t want to be here anymore you hated being the one everyone took pity on.

“Kevin and I went on a walk in the woods earlier and set up rock towers in different directions to make different paths to get to the flags we have placed at the end of all these paths and the goal is for every couple to try and get their flag and be back here first. Hotch and Hailey will stay here since Jack is already asleep.” Pen said as Kevin made it back to her side.

“Alright go!” Pen said as everyone scattered around onto different paths into the dark woods.

You watched as JJ and Will went on their path, Morgan and Sav pushing each other around laughing. Your attention was caught by Maeve and Spencer as she laughed clinging herself onto Spencer’s arm as they went down their designated path. God how you hated everything, your stomach felt tight and uncomfortable.

“Are you going to stand there or go?” Hailey said wrapping her arms around your shoulders and placed her head on your shoulder. You smiled you viewed Hailey as a mother figure, her comforting presence helped you after a long case when you and everyone had just started out at the FBI. “I’m going.” You smiled as she let go of you and walked back to sit with Hotch.

You began walking into the woods shining you flash light around being lost in thought you kicked rocks. You hated how you couldn’t physically bring yourself to cut off Spencer, you hated the way your chest tightened painfully anytime you saw Maeve and Spencer together. You hated the way Maeve climbed onto his arm, you hated the way they could be smart together. But you knew you hated yourself for being a coward and not just saying what you felt, for having to live a what if. So lost in thought you didn’t notice a tree root growing on the path and tripped over it rolling over down the side of the path as you hit rocks and tumbled until you reached the bottom of the small hill. You lays there as you body stopped tumbling, staring up into the night sky.

You felt a stream of tears begin to pour out from you eyes, you didn’t know if you were crying from the physical pain or the emotional pain. While you cried you tried lifting yourself up immediately failing as your ankle was shot with pain. You groaned frustrated as tears continued to stream down your face, you looked around into the dark and up from where you had fallen. Surely they’d come looking for you, and yet you didn’t want anybody to find you and pity you.

You sat there burrowing your head into your hands and waited…

The couples had come back to the front of the cabin already hollering and making noise as they carried their flags, obviously Morgan and Sav had won and come back first as everyone made their way back.

“Where’s Y/N?” Rossi asked as Krystall and him were the last back.

Everyone looked at Hotch and Hailey.

“She was the last to leave.” Hotch said getting up concerned Spencer’s head snapped up at this, surely even if you were the last one to leave you would have beaten Rossi and Krystall.

“Im going to look for her.” Spencer said walking towards the path you would have taken flashing his flashlight.

“Spence!” He heard Maeve say but she didn’t matter, not right now when you were in the woods somewhere probably hurt or in danger.

You heard Spencer’s voice “Y/N?” He repeated as the voice got closer above you. You lazily raised your head from your hands to look into the path above you, watching as a small white light danced in the night air.

“Spencer!” You yelled out flashing your flashlight up to catch his attention, you watched him jog down to where you were sitting.

“What happened?” He asked crouching down next to you searching your face for something, you pointed at your ankle.

“I tripped over a tree root and lost my footing, I ended up rolling down the hill.” You said as he lifted you up from your armpits and held you up. “Get on my back.” He said as he guided you towards his back.

“No Spence it’s fine, I can hop my way back if you help me.” You said in protest.

“I wasn’t asking.” Spencer said catching you off guard as he crouched down waiting for you to get on his back. You obliged and got on, he got up and made his way up the hill and onto the path again.

“Thank you.” was all you said as you walked the few minutes back to the cabin.

Once you saw the cabin in the distance you saw everyone still standing outside presumably waiting for you.

Spencer walked passed all of them and up stairs into the room. As he placed you on your bed he walked into the bathroom not saying anything to you. That was odd but you really didn’t want to talk to anyone either at this point, frustration building up inside of you.

Spencer walked back out with a first aid kit which caused you to giggle.

“Of course leave it up to Spencer to pack a first aid kit on vacation.” You said your voice low and teasing yet he didn’t smile and proceeded to lift your pant leg up to accumulate at your knee.

He bandaged your ankle up and stood up finally looking at you. “You had me worried.” He said as he stared down at you the lamp in the room illuminating his face.

“But I’m fine.” You said flashing him a small smile.

“You should have watched where you were going.” He said crossing his arms across his chest.

“Don’t you got a girlfriend to be worrying about and attending to.” You said trying to protect yourself from feeling any pretty feeling from Spencer’s concern.

“Why do you do this?” Spencer asked sitting down next to you on the bed. “Do what?” You replied annoyed.

“Why have you began to distance yourself from me, you don’t treat me as your best friend anymore. I feel like I can barely talk to you without you running away or making an excuse to leave.” He says hurt evident on your face.

You stayed quiet turning you attention to your ankle debating what to say next you decided to tell him. You owed him an explanation and you needed to give yourself closure.

“Spence, I can’t be your friends because I can’t see you as one.” You said watching hurt flood his eyes as he frowned.

“I can’t see you as one because I love you, because I love you to much for my own good. I love you so much it’s not fair for you and Maeve.” You said tears beginning to brim at your eyes.

“I began pulling away because I want to be respectful to you and Maeve.” You say but before you could begin again Spencer grabbed your face and kissed you. He kissed you so fervently so hungry like a man deprived of oxygen for to long. You began kissing him back emotions dictating your actions. You knew this was wrong both of you did, but both of you needed this you wanted this.

“I love you.” He said kissing your jaw and ear.

“Spencer… your with Maeve, this was out of line.” You began to say trying to pull away.

“I was going to end it with her after we got back from this trip, being here with her made me realize I can’t use her to push away my love for you.” He said pulling you closer to him. You furrowed your eyebrows confused.

“God Y/N, I have been in love with you since the beginning months that I’ve known you.” He said kissing your jaw up to your lips.

“What?” You managed to speak out.

“I guess we were both scared to ruin anything and now look at where that brought us.” He said laughing as he looked at you with puppy big begging eyes.

“Spence we can’t do anything or become anything if you’re still with Maeve.” You said closing your eyes.

He nodded pulling away.

“I’ll give her this weekend so she isn’t embarrassed.” He said but he saw Maeve as he turned around causing him to freeze.

“No need Spencer, I’m calling an Uber and going home.” She said dryly as she began packing her suit case. Spencer stood by you silently as you watched Maeve pack away her belongings. “You made this so much easier for me Spencer, I didn’t know how to tell you that I found you boring and plain.” She said chuckling as she looked at Spencer before walking out with her things.

You sat there quietly, you felt guilty and awful.

Spencer walked out of the shower and into his bed as you later in yours staring up at the ceiling.

“Y/N?” You heard Spencer call out your name causing you to sit up and look in his direction. He patted the bed side next to him and you made your way over.

“I know this isn’t the best way things turned out.” Spencer said looking at your figure as you got under the covers and layed down. You nodded even though what Maeve said made you feel better a bit about what happened you still participated in cheating and ruining someone’s relationship.

“You didn’t ruin anything.” Spencer said wrapping his arms around you and burrowing his head on top of your head.

“Doesn’t feel like that Spence.” You said closing your eyes.

“I know, but now we grow from this and move on. We enjoy each other now, we’ve missed out on to much time already.” He said kissing your head as you fell asleep.

Well this was part 2 and the last part, I sort of didn’t want to make the characters redeemed because cheating is still cheating no matter if it’s physically or emotionally. I wanted them to feel guilty even if the other party was emotionless to what had happened. Sorry if this didn’t come out as expected. And agin I’m taking requests! DM me if you have a request.

[phantomwithbreakfast]

✩ ~ If You Know, You Know ~ ✩

If you’re adrift in your own vivid, imaginary world, you know. If your mind doesn’t follow the typical pathways, you know.

(A kind of animated thing at the end of this)

———————

The sunlight stretched long fingers through my window, spilling warm streaks across the cluttered floor. Paints, pencils, and half-finished sketches surrounded me, a small fortress of creative chaos. I was deep into it—lost in the rhythm of sketching lines that might, just might, lead somewhere—when Danny appeared.

At first, he was just a shadow in the corner of my eye, a faint blur of movement. But then, as if the sunlight solidified him, he stood there, leaning casually against the wall like he’d always been a part of this room.

“Working hard or hardly working?” he teased me, that lopsided grin of his making me smile despite myself.

I waved him off, pretending I was drawing. “What do you think, genius?”

Danny didn’t answer.

Of course, he didn’t.

He never gave me that satisfaction. So instead, he plopped himself on my desk chair and began whistling.

“Do you mind?” I asked, feigning irritation.

He shrugged. “Not really.”

I rolled my eyes and tried to concentrate, but Danny had other plans. He started tapping his fingers on my desk, drumming out some rhythm that had no beginning and no end. When that didn’t get a rise out of me, he started humming—soft at first, then louder, adding lyrics that made absolutely no freaking sense.

“Danny!”

“What? You looked like you needed a break.”

“I don’t.”

“You sure?” He grinned wider and reached over to nudge one of my pencils off the desk. It clattered to the floor, joining the others he’d already scattered.

This was the thing about Danny. He didn’t come when I needed him, not really. He came when I thought I didn’t need anyone. He came when I was so buried in my own mind—in every single way possible—that I didn’t notice the sunlight anymore or the way the world felt alive outside these four walls.

If you know, you know. If you’re the kind of person whose head is so full of ideas it feels like it might burst, you know what it’s like to have a Danny. Someone that pulls you out of your own brain and reminds you there’s more to life than the next line, the next stroke, the next brilliant thought.

“Okay, fine,” I sighed, setting my pencil down. “You win.”

Danny lit up like I’d handed him a trophy. “Excellent choice.”

He flopped onto the floor beside me against the wall, staring up at the ceiling like he was seeing constellations in the cracks of the plaster.

“So, what are we working on today?” He asked.

“I am working,” I corrected. “You are distracting.”

“Same difference.”

He turned his head to grin at me, and for a slight moment, I forgot all about the mess, the deadlines, the pressure.

It didn’t matter that Danny would probably be gone in a few hours, fading back into wherever he came from. What mattered was that right now, he was here. Pulling me out of myself, turning my messy little room into something brighter, something more alive.

And maybe that was the point of Danny. He wasn’t here to stay. He was here to remind me that sometimes, it’s okay to put the pencil down and just exist.

For a while, we just sat there, watching the sunlight move across the walls, filling the silence with his whistling and my laughter.

Again, if you know, you know.

———————

When my full hyper-fixated ADHD brain kicks in, this happens. Most of the time it’s just Phantom that shows up though, not Danny as Fenton. (I was doubting to post this, but yeah. I did it anyway)

———————

—OC: Hailey.

I’m that kind of a Phan… (っᵔ◡ᵔ)っ⋆˙⟡♡

Please, tell me I’m not the only one for Danny’s sake…

[akitasimblr]

oh my god!! benevolent god is a giver!!

alejandro is the lucky one! and now he is safe from elimination too!

the last day of this household and emotions are under the skin! ariah and hazel are sharing experiences. ale is gonna find that dodo bird, just watch him!! 😂😂 dodo is playing with his best friend... the football before being interrupted by shay, her paranoid-self, at least!

aww dodo and ale hugging! and hazel and shay are HUNGRY!!!

and now some romance time! shay and dodo and dodo and ariah with a jealous shay in the background 😝

dr johannes is our daily gardner. shay and ale are fishing and hailey has followed ariah to the waterfall to discover two sims can't bathe there at the same time... meh!

yes, ale is telling the tale of his life!!!! i love how dodo and shay listen to it unbothered by the nonsense that involves polar bears, pinguins, father winter and gnomes... 😂😂😂

ariah and hazel hug during the sunset. and dodo tells tempest about that time he lost his trousers while swimming... right 😁😶

ava is telling everyone about how rich she'll be after this challenge! we trust you, ava!

yes, ava is spreading her mean ways... don't believe a word she says about the headless knight, hailey!!!

aww, we're all feeling the blues as the last hours approach. dr roder is gonna miss that volcano! and ale is wondering where he'll find such beautiful birds as the ones he found on this island. and ariah is gonna miss her household friends.

round one is officially over. the leaderboard will follow shortly!

🌴previous | next🌴

@whyeverr @joleyssims @igotsnothing

@linalinsims @panicsimss

@doglover-trait @changingplumbob @shmoodlet

[oh-meow-swirls]

said cameo appearance is very sweet to me though.

the anime is fucking homophobic-

[chaoticnezz]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The weels on the bus go round and round all through the town!" Your classmates were practically screaming that song on the bus.

Your class was going on a field trip to a historical cave today. I mean what a great ideal to let a group of noisy and cayotic freshman go on a field trip to a cave.

You being the only antisocial kid on the bus you sat a bit closer to front where it was more quiet and less noisy. Also so you could get off first.

As the came to a stop you watched your teacher stand up. Miss Rodriguez was a nice teacher so of course the class practical begged and pleaded for her to come with us.

Their was another teacher but they are going to walk behind the class so that nobody walks off or gets lost.

"Alright class I want you all to be on your best behavior alright." "Yes miss Rodriguez." Miss Rodriguez got up and began to head to the door you got up and followed her. With everyone else behind you.

Miss Rodriguez came to a stop at the cave entrance, she walked over to a person standing near the entrance of the cave. Who you guess was the tour guide.

She talked with the lady for a minute before the both of them came over to your class. "Class this is Mrs Debbie she is going to be our tour guide."

Mrs Debbie smiled at the class. She had strawberry blonde hair with a streak of blue in it. Her eyes were a nice shade of blue, what shade? You didn't quite know her teeth had a small gap in the front.

Over she looked like a cheery and cute person.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The walk in the cave was going by quite fast your class was already quiet deep down in the cave. So deep that the only light that you could see was the light from your classmates flashlights.

"EEKK!" A girl in the back of the bus screamed causing everyone to turn around and look at her. The girl that screamed was no other than Hailey the cheer captain.

"Dear are you alright?" Miss Debbie asked concerned as to why someone was screaming. "This place is infested with spiders and spider webs!" Hailey spat with disgust in her voice.

"Your correct Hailey, this place is filled with spiders and spider webs. But we don't exactly know how they got here. The story that most people say was a miner went into the depths of this cave hoping to dig up some ores to sell when he opened up a cave packed with spiders and spider webs. But in the center of it all was a giant spider."

You could practically see most of the girls shaking from the story that Mrs Debbie has told. "But I wouldn't worry to much about that it is just a story after all."

You all continue the descent into the cave with Mrs Debbie saying the occasional facts and story's. When you heard another scream. Everyone turned their eyes and heads to look at Hailey.

How even Hailey was confused. "Why are you all starring at me, I didn't scream I was talking to cherry and Jack." Both cherry and Jack noded in agreement.

"That must mean somebody got lost in the cave." Mrs Debbie stated. "Let's go and try to find them." As your class walked in deeper their seemed to be more spider webs.

Untill you heard another scream this time coming from your left. Everyone turned to your left only to see what seemed to be another cave opening?

You all walked inside it looked like a empty room in the caves. Before you could get a good look at the room the flashlights all went out and their was a thud behind you.

The flashlights went out probably from them over using their batteries but the thud behind you, you didn't know what that was.

"Hold on everyone I got another flashlight." You previously didn't use your flashlight because you found it useless because everyone else had their out already. But now your glad you didn't use it.

You grabbed your flashlight out your bag and turned it on however when you turned it on you were meet with the mortified faces of your classmates.

"Why are you all staring at me like that?" You knew you didn't talk much but for them to stare at you like this when you talk made you uncomfortable.

Soon you heard Hailey scream but this time nobody turned around to look at her to focused on you, or more exactly what was behind you. "Hailey are you alright?"

You reached your hand out and took a step forward only to be pulled back into someone's chest. They had their arms warped around you.

Luckily you didn't drop your flashlight. Before you were able to yell at the person behind you they spoke first. "You have a wonderful voice and your so kind I'll think I'll keep you as a pet."

You froze you didn't recognize that voice at all, and what did they mean by pet. Looking down you saw giant spider legs.

You felt your heart drop and your blood run cold. You didn't know what was behind you but you now know why your classmates were mortified.

You were even more terrified because you were being held by what ever it was. The thing soon began to walk to a giant cushy spot and sat down on it. All eyes were on this creature as it moves with you.

When it sat down it also forced you to sit down Infront of it's two weird spider legs in the front. You felt him place his chin in the crook of your neck. You were frozen by fear and so was everyone else.

"My name's Takuya Kaora. What brings you all here?" You could feel him puting his forehead into the crook of your neck. You could also feel him grin.

"Calm down doll I'm not going to hurt you." Takuya whispered in a voice so quite that only you could hear it.

"W-we we're following a scream." Jack spoke for everyone causing people to snap out of their trance. Takuya began to chuckle quietly, that chuckle soon turned into a loud laugh causing everyone to be on edge.

"Haha I'm sorry for laughing but I think you were just following the sound of my imitation spider." His laugh sounded real but their was something behind that laugh.

"Imitation spider?" Your voice was quiet but everyone heard it. Everyone snapped their heads twords you now noticing what situation you were in.

"Yes doll an imitation spider, it can mimick any noise it wants." Takuya held out a hand Infront of you in his hand was a spider no bigger than three fingers. It had a white body with red markings on it.

You reached out your hand and it crawled into yours, the spider was practically harmless.

Takuya let out a small smile seeing you play with his favorite spider. "Why on earth would an imitation spider bring us here?" Debbie bravely asked.

"Well to bring me some snacks of course." Everyone in the room froze. "W-what" Cherry's voice broke the silence. Takuya got up from behind you and walked in front of you, giving you a better view of him.

He had white hair, and pale skin with pointy ears. His sclera was black instead of white with scarlet irises. He had black lines over the top half of his body. Some of the lines met at his chest and formed some kind of shape. I'm the middle of that shape was a scarlet diamond.

The lower half of his body was that of a spider. It was dark purple with scarlet marks on it.

Your classmates backed up twords where the exit of the cave was. But the cave was blocked up. "Theirs no use leaving I already blocked the exit off."

You sat there frozen in fear as you watched you classmates get knocked out and wrapped up in cocoons before being placed in a spider web.

Takuya began to walk back towards you, trying your hardest to move you realized to your but was stuck to the soft cushion Wich you realized was a spider web.

Takuya stood right in front of you. "I need to get you some new clothes because once I remove you from the web you'll rip your pants. Isn't that right Y/n."

You didn't respond. "Probably something good for a pet don't you think Y/n.

You didn't respond.

"Fine if you're not going to talk, I'll make it so that you can't."

[sevcasejay1chicago]

We chose you- Matt, Kelly, Jay

Summary: You hear Erin Lindsey bad mouthing you in the bathroom at Molly’s. She opens up old wounds that only your boys can heal.

Warnings: cursing, mentions vomiting, diabetic

Authors note: Here it is my loves. This is a request from an anonymous friend. I hope you enjoy!

——————

Molly’s was packed. Stella was hosting her monthly karaoke night. The night was young, the drinks were cold, and the people were packed in the bar. You were sat at a back table with Jay, Will, Matt, Kelly, and Natalie. The music wasn’t the worst your group had heard, but that was the last thing on your mind. You and Will Halstead were up next. You had lost a bet to him earlier that day, so now you were stuck singing We Are Never Getting Back Together by T-Swift. Will won the bet, which got you on stage. The catch was that you got to pick the song.

When Stella loudly announced your song and called you and Will up, you practically had to be dragged away. You couldn’t believe that you had been talked into this. Hopefully the liquid courage would be enough.

About half way through the song, you realized that a very drunk Erin Lindsey with flirting with Kelly and Jay. Their attention was solely on her and, from the looks of it, they were not pushing her away. You felt anger rise in your chest, but locked eyes with Will and kept singing.

Once the song was over, you handed your mic to Will and stormed off into the bathroom. Reaching a stall, you immediately went in and sat down, grabbing toilet paper to blot the tears away in hopes of Matt not noticing that you had been crying. You figured Kelly and Jay wouldn’t notice, given that they were entertaining Erin.

Suddenly, you heard giggling as the door swung open. You huddled up with your feet above the view from under the door, hoping that nobody knew you were there.

“They could do so much better than her.” Erin slurred, giggling as Hailey Upton handed her a wet paper towel.

“Erin.” Hailey sighed, crossing her arms as she watched her drunk companion dab the paper towel on the back of her neck.

“What? She’s not as pretty as me. She has WAY more issues than me. I mean, I could hide my feelings for the most part. She’s just so whiny. I even feel bad for Matt.” Erin slurred, slapping the paper towel onto the counter and scoffing loudly. “They just pity her. Why have her when they could have me?” Erin asked as she walked out of the bathroom.

Hailey muttered something under her breath before she gave her reply, which got drown out by the music and then the door shutting behind her. You, however, were completely horrified. Deep down, you knew she was just talking shit. Right?

Pulling yourself together, you made your way back to your table and practically sat yourself in Matt’s lap as you eyed Kelly, Jay, Erin, and Hailey. You laid your head on his shoulder as you took a sip of his water.

“You okay baby?” Matt asked, lifting your hair from the back of your neck as he felt the heat coming from you.

“I don’t feel good. Can we go home?” You whispered in his ear before laying your head back onto his shoulder.

Matt rubbed your back and nodded. “Absolutely. Let me go collect the guys.” He replied, starting to stand and hand you off to Will to keep you company.

“Just leave them. Will can fill them in and Upton can bring them home.” You said, pouting at Matt. “I really don’t feel good and I wanna go home.” You whined, giving him your best puppy dog look, though you were literally getting nauseous by seeing the way Erin was all over them.

Matt eyed you and finally gave in with a nod to Will. “Alright baby. Come on. Let’s get you home.” Matt said, standing with you braced against his chest, kissing the top of your head.

After a short goodbye to the people at your table, Matt guided you through the crowded bar and out of the side door. He kept his hands on your waist and almost laughed when you breathed in a lungful of the cool night air. From there, he picked you up, bridal style, and carried you to Jay’s truck, easily depositing you into the front seat and buckling you in.

“Just tell me if you need me to pull over, ‘kay?” Matt told you, cupping your burning face in his palms.

“Kay.” You hummed closing your eyes and enjoying the coolness of his hands. You had to hold back a whine when he moved back and closed the door, missing the coolness of his hands and the comfort he brought you.

Matt drove home with your hand in his, making sure to be easy on his stops and turns. When he parked the truck, he looked over to notice that you were asleep with your head leaned against the back of the seat, your face toward him. Instead of waking you up, Matt quietly took you out of the car and carried you inside. He tried to gently undress you, but you woke with a start when the cool air hit your chest.

“Shhhh. I’m just changing your clothes baby.” Matt soothed, leaning over you to make eye contact. He could see the fear in your eyes until you recognized him. An old PD casing coming back to haunt you if Matt had to guess.

You breathed a sigh of relief and nodded, laying back again. “I’m good. I’m ‘Kay.” You slurred, still pretty drunk and very much half asleep.

Matt nodded. “Okay baby. I’m almost done and then we can go to bed.” Matt whispered, quickly changing you into one of his shirts before laying you against your pillow. “Need anything?” Matt asked sweetly, tucking the blankets around your shoulders.

You thought back to Erin’s comment and quickly shook your head, almost regretting how much it hurt to do so. “‘M good. Go back n have fun.” You whispered, starting to turn over and go to sleep.

Matt chuckled and started taking off his clothes. “No ma’am. I’m staying here with you.” Matt said, tossing his clothes in the hamper, along with yours. “Let’s remove your makeup so that your eyes aren’t irritated in the morning.” Matt proposed, walking toward the bathroom for your makeup wipes.

You wiped silent tears from your face as the feeling of being a burden almost immediately tried to swallow you whole. You weren’t completely sure if he was doing this out of habit or obligation after hearing Erin’s comments. “You don’t have to.” You said, trying to make your voice sound strong.

Matt came back in the room, wipes in hand. “Baby.” Matt cooed, immediately coming to your side. “Shhh. It’s alright.” Matt shushed, taking you into his arms as you shook with a sob. “Baby. What’s wrong? You feel sick?” Matt asked, knowing throwing up was a major fear of yours. You did, so when you nodded, you weren’t exactly lying. “Need to go to the bathroom?” Matt asked with a hum, staying calm to hopefully promote the same feeling within you.

You shook your head. “Sleep.” You whispered, sniffing and pulling yourself together.

Matt nodded. “Okay hunny. Hang on.”

Your loving boyfriend then proceeded to wipe your face clean of makeup and tears. Holding the wipe to your nose to blow after the crying made you sniffly. Then he tucked you back into bed and kissed your forehead.

“I’ll be right back to cuddle sweetheart.” Matt promised. He was only gone for a few minutes before he returned with some water, meds for your hangover tomorrow morning, and a trash can. “Trash can will be on the nightstand if you wake up feeling sick.” Matt said, placing it on his side of the bed, which meant you would end up waking him if you got sick in the night.

Matt finally slid into bed, plugged in your phones and turned out the lights. You weren’t going to object when Matt immediately pulled you into his arms since he initiated the contact. Instead, you got comfortable and fell into a fitful sleep.

You barely stirred when Jay and Kelly stumbled in at 5 am, but you were immediately hit with the smell of alcohol when you woke a few hours later. Luckily, Matt was already up and cooking in the kitchen, so he didn’t hear when you made a mad dash for the bathroom and threw up everything you consumed the night before. Afterwards, you brushed your teeth and showered, needing to make sure that the smell of vomit didn’t linger and to calm your racing heart. You brushed again before going out to join Matt in the kitchen.

For the next several days, you dodged Kelly and Jay. Constantly making an excuse to not be in the same room as them. You even went to bed early every night and slept on Matt’s side of the bed to ensure that the other two wouldn’t touch you at night. Every time you saw the boys do something for the other or heard them talking to each other in a loving way, your heart twisted in sadness. They sound and look so happy when you aren’t bothering them. The thought made you physically sick, which led to more vomiting and skipping meals, claiming that you had a big lunch or ate a snack.

However, you failed to notice that the boys were in fact taking notice of your presence, or lack thereof. It was bothering them, but they weren’t going to push you. They knew that you had your moments when you needed to be left alone, so they did just that until they couldn’t anymore.

A week after the incident at Molly’s, the boys were setting up their Friday night date night. They figured, since you haven’t wanted to be around them, that you wouldn’t want to be around other people. They were just finishing setting up when you walked through the door. Everyone stopped and looked at you. You were frozen in place, pale as a ghost and trembling as you breathed erratically. Everyone stayed frozen for a moment until you threw your stuff on the counter and ran for the bathroom.

All three boys were hot on your heels. Matt got there first, pressing you against his side with one hand and keeping your ponytail back with the other as you bent at the waist over the toilet. You were still hyperventilating and shaking.

“Shhhhh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here.” Matt shushed, lightly rubbing your right side. It seemed odd that he could feel your ribs after only a week of barely touching you.

Jay and Kelly were moving about the master bathroom, both getting things you normally liked when you were sick. Jay eventually came over with a wet wash cloth and laid it over the back of your neck while taking your temp with the forehead thermometer.

“No fever.” Jay announced, reaching up to rub your back. He startled slightly when you flinched. You have never flinched when any of the boys touched you, when your sober anyway. Jay and Matt made eye contact when it happened, but were quickly drawn back to you as you heaved loudly.

“I-hmmm. Just l-leave, Pl-hukk.” You tried to plead, being cut off by a gag.

“No way.” Kelly said, taking you by the hips. You were swaying slightly now, the hyperventilating, plus the heaving and you locking your legs was clearly causing you to lose your balance. “Kneel down baby.” Kelly coached, pushing your hips slightly down to lead you onto your knees.

“Mm-m.” You shook your head, moving closer to Matt. “G-go. Ju-out!” You tried to exclaim, but it ended in a whisper as you sagged into Matt’s arms.

“Woah!” Matt said, catching you and lowering you to the ground.

Kelly immediately took a towel down and pillowed your head with it. Jay knelt down to check your pulse as Matt helped Kelly pull you into the recovery position.

“Pulse is strong but tacky.” Jay announced, keeping a hold of your wrist.

“Y/n? Open your eyes.” Matt called, tilting your face upwards to open your airways more.

You didn’t respond. Kelly took out the blood pressure machine and handed Jay the glucose monitor. The exchange was done silently and the devices were used immediately. Jay gasped as your blood sugar came up on the small device.

“Holy shit. It’s 45!” Jay exclaimed, immediately diving for the bag and pulling out the glucagon and spraying it into your nose.

“BP is pretty high for her, which makes since with a blood sugar that low.” Kelly commented, standing to run to the kitchen and grab you some orange juice.

“Let’s take her to the living room. Can you grab the trash can just in case?” Matt asked Jay, shifting you into his arms as you began to stir. “Shhhhh. We gotcha.” Matt murmured as Jay nodded and grabbed the first aid kit and trash can, following Matt out into the living room.

Matt barely had you laid down when you woke up. Immediately, you attempted to get up, still feeling nauseous and kinda flighty. You felt like a caged animal needing to escape.

“Hey hey hey. No baby.” Matt exclaimed, pushing you back down. “You just passed out from low blood sugar. Kelly is getting you some juice I think.” Matt soothed, sitting down next to you.

“M fine.” You said, trying to push yourself up again.

“Bullshit.” Kelly said, walking into the room with Jay behind him.

“Fine my ass.” Jay muttered, ripping open one of your zofrans and giving it to you.

You took the Zofran and sipped on the orange juice that Kelly brought in. Everyone was staring at you, but you averted your gaze as you began to connect the dots on what just happened. You knew what was coming next.

“Alright. Spill. What’s been going on with you lately?” Jay asked, sitting on the coffee table and trying his best not to seem intimidating.

You shook your head. “Nothin.” You said, trying to sound normal.

“No. That’s not an answer.” Kelly said, coming to kneel next to you. “You’ve been avoiding us, mostly me and Jay, for a week now. What did we do?” Kelly asked, pleading with his eyes.

“You really wanna know??” You exclaimed, hands trembling from more than low blood sugar. “I’m just surprised you haven’t gone back to Erin. I’m sure she’s still in town.” You scoffed.

“What?” Kelly and Jay both said.

“At Molly’s, she was flirting with you and you were flirting back. Then you didn’t come home until 5 am.” You had tears streaming down your face. “Erin didn’t know I was crying in the bathroom when she told Hailey how much better she is than me and how sorry she feels for you guys for having a needy girlfriend.” You explained, hastily wiping the tears from your face.

“Baby, we-“ Jay started, but you shoved the orange juice into his hand and reached for the trash can instead.

Matt pulled your pony tail back again as Kelly reached over to steady the trash can. You were just panting heavily, but saliva was dripping into the trash can along with your tears. Luckily, the Zofran was completely dissolved under your tongue.

“Shhhhhh. Breathe baby. Slow down.” Matt soothed, rubbing your back. “Let it pass baby. Just breathe and let it pass. You’ve gotten yourself all worked up.” Matt whispered, letting you keep the trash can as long as you needed to, but hoping that this was just nausea from anxiety.

You nodded, spitting and letting Kelly take the trash can. You immediately turned into Matt and hid your face in his neck. You let yourself sob, having been pent up for too long. You missed this. You missed your boys.

“Baby. We chose you.” Jay said, placing a hand on your back. “She did try, but we chose you and Matt.”

“We would never chose her.” Kelly said, sitting down next to Matt. “We had our fun, but that was the past. You and Matt are our future.” Kelly explained, placing a hand on Matt’s thigh.

“And we love taking care of you. We love that you love us enough to trust us with anything.” Matt said, planting a kiss on the side of your head. “I knew they wouldn’t leave us because I know how much they love us. How much they love you.” Matt whispered.

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

@daggersquadphantom

@mattangel11

@stellakiddsblog

@100yroldteenagers

@senjoritanana

[stellar-constellations]

Star Patient: Chapter 3 (FINISHED SERIES)

WARNING: This series will include; possible inaccurate medical procedures and medical setting, gore, toxic relationships that should NOT be replicated in real life, murder, yanderes, cursing, suicide mentions, implications of misandry (male misogyny), and possibly more.

Inaccurate canon-timeline (this is before Ashley and Andrew murdered their parents).

Reader has a small fear of adult men/rape and has a history of suicide attempts.

Incest is not Wincest.

Amnesiac! Obsessive! Patient! Andrew Graves x Yandere! Nurse! Reader:

Wordcount: 8,650 words (a big chapter since the next chapter will take some time to complete).

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, current chapter, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, final chapter.

Want to listen to music while reading? Check out the Star Patient's Official Playlists! Multiple different playlists and genres!

Andrew’s brain surgery to drain the excessive blood was a success! Andrew felt loopy from all the twilight anesthesia they injected into him so he was asleep during the surgery, but he’s no longer suffering from double-vision, maybe soon he can start remembering things again.

        Andrew locked his wheelchair in place and refused to move from the hallway. He was dead set on waiting for (Y/N). Any nurse or doctor that tried to come near him to bring him back to his room (or get him out of the way) would be slapped away and assaulted with the most vile curse words that would make a nun have a heart attack. Whenever Andrew heard footsteps coming, he’d look over, eyes sparkling in excitement, before dropping once noticing it wasn’t in fact (Y/N).

        Another set of footsteps could be heard walking down the hallway. Andrew looked over and resisted the urge to smile or seem excited that she came.

        “Hi, Andrew! Sorry I’m late. I was watching the infants until the NNP came back.” (Y/N) explained.

        God, he loved how she said his name. Did it have to do with how damn cute she was, or was her voice really just that enchanting?

        “How do you feel? Tired? Dizzy? Loopy? Hungry? Thirsty?” she questioned, bombarding him with questions.

        “Mm.” Andrew shrugged his shoulders, resisting the urge to wince, but failing.

        “Oh, does your head hurt?" (Y/N) questioned. "Oh, well obviously it must! You had surgery!” she commented, realizing how stupid her question was.

        “It just hurts a bit…” Andrew muttered.

        “Let’s get you back to your room, then I’ll give you some painkillers.” She spoke.

        Andrew unlocked his wheelchair and started rolling away without (Y/N)’s help, stopping in front of her with a pointed stare glare as if to say “are we leaving yet?”

        “Oh! You got the hang of it. Good job, Andrew!” (Y/N) praised, causing him to advert his eyes and huff.

        “It’s not a big deal… It's a pretty easy thing to learn.” Andrew explained, ignoring how his heartbeat increased.

        “Aw, don’t be like that. You did it all on your own in only a few minutes, and you learned how to turn the wheel! That’s impressive!” (Y/N) smiled, only causing Andrew’s face to get more red.

        “Are you done?” Andrew huffed.

        “Okay, okay. Let’s get going.” She chuckled. “Follow me.” 

        Andrew didn’t exactly trust her sense of direction, especially considering earlier’s wild goose chase, but Andrew didn’t mind getting lost with her—it meant he got to spend a little extra time with her.

        “Before we go to your room, do you mind if I make a quick stop to a friend?” she questioned as they entered the elevator together.

        A friend? Andrew thought, a sore and red hot bubble starting to simmer in his chest. Who the hell is it?

        “Her name is Hailey. She has cancer so please be nice to her. She doesn’t have many visitors anymore so maybe you two could be friends!” (Y/N) cheered, excited at the possibility of the two of them getting along as she pressed the second floor button.

        At least it’s a girl. Andrew thought, the bubble of jealousy losing its fire-like temperature, but still having a bit of flame to it. 

        They exited the elevator when the doors opened and strolled down the hallway, (Y/N) stopping at a door and knocking on it.

        “Come in.” A girl, Hailey, spoke.

        She opened the door, keeping it open for Andrew to wheel his way in before she shut the door behind them.

        “Hey, Hails. I have a friend of mine I’d like you to meet. He might have a grumpy face, but he’s nice when you get to know him.” (Y/N) teased.

        Andrew shot her an unimpressed glare as he looked at her, before redirecting his attention to Hailey.

        “Hi…” he muttered, not quite interested in the conversation.

        “Hello…” she whispered shyly.

        With how long it’s been since she’s socialized with anyone except the nurses, she’s most likely insecure of her appearance. This is a good opportunity for her to re-learn how to make friends and have confidence, and now Andrew has someone he can visit and talk to when I’m off of work. She thought to herself.

        “Andrew, this is Hailey. Hailey, this is Andrew. I hope you both can be good friends.” (Y/N) introduced, a smile on her face. 

        Fat chance. Andrew thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

        They both stared at each other awkwardly before (Y/N) spoke up.

        “So, Hailey. How is the book so far?” she questioned.

        “I’m interested in it. I don’t understand why Nora wants to die though.” Hailey spoke.

        “Oh, I see.” She nodded. “This is one of my favorite books to recommend. After reading it, it really makes you look at life in a different perspective. Nora wants to die because she lacks happiness, or fulfillment, in her life. She hasn’t found a motive in her life to carry on because she’s so caught up in her own burdens and feelings.”

        “But why is she sad? She gets to go outside and live.” Hailey questioned, genuinely confused.

        Nora has what Hailey doesn’t, and Nora’s taking it for granted. (Y/N) thought to herself, understanding what Hailey means.

        “Do you want a simple definition or the long one? Like, science or no science.” (Y/N) questioned, taking a seat on Hailey's bedside Andrew silently huffing and glaring as she did so.

        “No science.” Hailey smiled.

        Hailey prefers subjects that are sugarcoated, they’re much easier to understand. She is ten, so (Y/N) supposes that's understandable.

        “Well, Nora is missing something in her life, but she doesn’t know what it is yet. Everyone is made differently. She is sad because she doesn't have anymore passions in her life because she never stuck to pursuing them, and she felt like she couldn’t confide in anyone.” (Y/N) explained. "Humans are social creatures, we need communication and care from others in order to functional normally. Nora doesn't have that, or at least, she has very little of it."

        “So Nora wants to die because she doesn’t know what she’s missing and she's alone?” Hailey questioned.

        “In a way, yeah.” (Y/N) nodded. “Because she’s so sad, she’s not even trying to live the life she was given. When people are as sad as Nora, they don’t eat or shower or take care of themselves because it all feels meaningless.” 

        Why does that sound familiar? Andrew thought to himself. 

        “I understand now.” Hailey nodded.

        “Andrew, do you like books?” (Y/N)questioned, the two girls directing their attention towards him.

        “I’m not too sure. I don’t read much.” Andrew answered.

        “Maybe you just haven't found a good book yet. What genre movies do you like?" (Y/N0 questioned.

        Movies? He just watched whatever was on the TV when he was locked in that apartment, but he was so hungry that he didn't have the willpower to actually focus on what was on the screen half the time. 

        "I don't know... anything really..." Andrew mumbled.

        "Let's find a book genre you like! We'll start with Hailey." (Y/N) smiled. "Hailey, do you have any suggestions for him to read?" 

        "Maybe... The Outsiders?" Hailey suggested at a moment of thought, a bit hesitant but starting to warm up just slightly with the new presence in the room.

        But what about your special pick for me you said you'd give? Andrew complained inside his head.

        "The S.E. Hinton one?" (Y/N) questioned.

        "Yes." Hailey smiled.

        "Oh, that's a good one. My favorite character was Sodapop." (Y/N) commented.

        "I liked Darry. He was smart and cool." Hailey chimed in.        

        "What about the book you wanted to show me earlier? The one specifically picked out for me for when I get out of surgery?" Andrew questioned, not exactly caring if it sounded rude to reject Hailey's suggestion.

        "Oh! Yeah. The book is called Eye of the Minds by James Dasher. He made the Maze Runner series if you had seen the movies." (Y/N) explained. "It's a sci-fi. I figured we could give that a try and see if you enjoyed it." 

        "I remembered when you showed me that book! The main protagonist was funny." Hailey commented.

        Andrew briefly wondered how long these two spent together everyday. The more he thought about it, the more he started to get jealous again. By now his headache was subsiding while his anger just grew.

        I never thought I'd be jealous at a little kid... he thought to himself. ...Why even am I jealous? 

        "(Y/N)..." Andrew sighed, succeeding in gaining the nurse's attention. "My head still hurts and I'm tired." He spoke.

        "Oh! I'm sorry, Andrew. I was excited to hear Hailey's input to the book. I didn't mean to neglect you." (Y/N) spoke, immediate guilt forming in her chest as a frown drew on her face.

        I didn't mean to make her feel bad... Andrew thought to himself, resisting the urge to sigh.

        "I'll see you later, hails. I'm going to take Andrew back to his room. I'll make sure to visit before leaving today." (Y/N) spoke, waving to Hailey as she opened the door for her and Andrew.

        "Okay." Hailey nodded, returning the nurse's wave as she watched them leave and shut the door behind them.

        "I didn't mean to ignore your pain, Andrew. I'm a bit of a scatterbrain, but that's no excuse." (Y/N) sighed, walking with Andrew to the elevators.

        "It's okay. You didn't mean it..." Andrew murmured.        

        "I won't do it again." She promised, a smile on her face as she and Andrew made it to the elevators and got an open one, walking into it.

        She pressed the fourth floor button and waited for the elevator to go. Even if she was growing to enjoy Andrew's company, she did feel a little uneasy being in the same elevator as him all alone.

        "So, Andrew. Do you have any favorite shows?" she questioned, trying to make small talk.

        "..Huh?" Andrew voiced, confused on where that came from.

        "I'll be seeing you pretty often now. I want us to build a connection." She explained. "A good way to do that is finding out each other's likes and dislikes." 

        Andrew huffed, ignoring the warmth in his chest that her confession made him feel. They walked out of the elevator and down the hallway, stopping at the staff's room.

        "I don't really like anything." Andrew admitted.

        "I refuse to believe that. We'll find something!" she smiled, determined. "Wait here a second." She instructed, pulling her lanyard from out of her shirt and grabbing her keys, unlocking the staff door.

        "Hi, Penelope." (Y/N) greeted once seeing the female present.

        "Ah. Hello, (Y/N)!" Penelope cheered, her strawberry blonde hair swaying as she stood up from her seat. "How was patient 402? Did he-" she looked behind (Y/N) and made an "eek!" sound, backing up.

        "Don't worry about him, just taking him back to his room. I had to grab painkillers first though." (Y/N) spoke, unlocking the medicine cabinet grabbing a pill bottle of ibuprofen and a bottle of water. 

        She grabbed a napkin and opened the pill bottle, putting two small tablets on the cloth. She walked over to Andrew with the napkin and water.        

        "Here, Andrew." She spoke, gently grabbing Andrew's hand and placing the pills in his palm.

        He accepted it and put them in his mouth without any hesitation. (Y/N) opened the water and tilted his head up, bringing the water bottle to his mouth, just in case he couldn't hold it on his own because of the weakening limbs from the surgery's sedation. He took greedy sips before tapping her hand, allowing her to move the bottle and screw on the lid.

        "There you go." She cooed. "Good job." 

        Why is she so much better at this job than me? She's a student! Why is my patient so trusting of her? Penelope thought. Aw, they look like such a couple! They're both so attractive too! This is too embarrassing! 

        Instead of doing what Penelope was thinking, she just spoke her mind.

        "W-wow..." Penelope muttered, utterly confused, shocked, and a bit flustered.

        "What?" (Y/N) questioned, turning to look at the young nurse.

        "Ack! Nothing!" she exclaimed, her face red as she covered her eyes with her hands.

        "Pen, are you feeling okay?" (Y/N) questioned, taking some steps towards Penelope. "Did you get enough sleep? Do you need food? Water?-"

        "N-no thanks!" she shouted, her face growing even redder at the thought of (Y/N) tilting her head and nursing her with a water bottle instead.

        Andrew understood immediately what was happening as he watched the two interact.

        Damn that nurse... Andrew thought to himself, glaring daggers at Penelope from behind (Y/N)'s shoulder.

        (Y/N) jumped, moving back a little, completely dazed and confused as she looked at the nurse. 

        THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING! Penelope screamed instead her head, resisting the urge to curl up in a ball and scream her heart out.

        Penelope has a problem with loving people too much. It's one of the reasons she became a doctor, to find someone in need and nurse them with her medicine and love. Unfortunately, she's a very shy person and stresses too easily, so her bursts of lovesickness can sometimes be too much for her heart and mind (it's one of the reasons Ruby from day shift can't stand her).

        "Okay...?" (Y/N) spoke, hesitantly. "If you need any help, call me. Okay?" 

        Penelope nodded quickly and spoke, quick to have the pair leave. "I understand! Bye now!" 

        Penelope shoved (Y/N) out of the room (Andrew just about ready to stand up and fight her, if it could walk, that is). Penelope locked the door behind them both as (Y/N) looked back, confused.

        "Huh, that's a little more of a panic attack than usual..." (Y/N) muttered to herself. "Okay, Andrew! Let's get you to your room." She smiled, acting as if nothing happened.

        (Y/N) walked down the hallway and grabbed a security guard that was stationed nearby, having them pick up Andrew and place him in his bed since she wasn't strong enough (she worked with picking up kids, not adults).

        "Alright, Andrew. You're probably really tired after your surgery. I'll leave you be." (Y/N) explained, watching as the security guard left.

        Just before she leaves, Andrew spoke up.

        "Will you be back later?" Andrew questioned, hesitant as he hid his flustered face by turning his head to the side, away from her view.

        "Of course! You can't get rid of me that easy, ya know?" she smiled.

        "Great..." Andrew sighed, not-so-sarcastically as he wished.

        "Oh, before I leave. Make sure you're behaving with the other nurses, they're only trying to help you." (Y/N) lightly scolded.

        I don't want their help. I want yours... Andrew thought to himself, resisting the urge to grimace at her words.

        “Ah, and before I forget too!” she gasped, reaching into her medical back and grabbing a book. “This is a sci-fi dystopian. You might like it! If not, no worries. We’ll find a genre for you.” She spoke, placing the book on his nightstand. “Don’t worry about reading it right now. Just sleep.”

        Andrew looked at the book, then her, before nodding. 

        (Y/N) left the room and shut the door behind her, letting out a sigh. 

        What do I do now? she thought to herself. Today feels so slow... I guess I can go back to the clinic and see what Doctor Ryan's doing. Or maybe I should go check on Penelope? She was panicky today.

        (Y/N) decided to check out Penelope and see what's up with her. (Y/N) is aware of Penelope's random bursts of lovesick confessions (Penelope has gotten into too much trouble with HR because of it, so everyone in the hospital knows about it), but (Y/N) had never really seen it take ahold of her that bad. Usually Penelope resorts to compliments (and light stalking), not full on shutting her brain down and panic.

        Did she find a new crush? (Y/N) wondered.

        Ever since (Y/N) became a student studying general pediatrics here at the hospital, she’s had her fair share of taking care of a patient every once in a blue moon for the psychiatric brand in case a nurse had a emergency and needed to leave. She met Penelope when Ruby had to leave because her daughter was in labor, and the usual nurse that took over Ruby's patients for the night shift had come up with the flu. (Y/N) had taken over Ruby’s patients that night and met Penelope, Penelope explaining what (Y/N) would have to do as a psychiatric nurse for the day.

        That was four months ago. They can technically be considered friends but they have the habit of being a little distant, though it’s slowly fading away ever since they agreed on hanging out every Saturday. Their Saturdays consisted of shopping and running errands together since it’s a day they’re both off. 

        (Y/N) walked back down to the staff room and unlocked the door, finding Penelope on the table face-down.

        “Are you okay?” (Y/N) questioned, standing a good distance from Penelope in case she needed some space.

        “How do you do it?” Penelope questioned, lifting her face off the table.

        “Do what?�� (Y/N) questioned.

        “How can you be so calm with such cute guys?!” Penelope shouted, balling up her fists as her face went red.

        Does Penelope have a crush on Andrew? (Y/N) thought to herself.

        Her stomach twisted in either disgust or anger, probably both. She felt like throwing up as she thought about Penelope and Andrew together.

        Andrew was supposed to be Penelope’s patient, but (Y/N) swept him away from her after caring for him one day. Penelope had worked day shift that day since she was taking over one of the day nurses shifts because they were taking the day off for her son's graduation, so Penelope switched shifts with them for the day and worked their day shift, resulting in working with Andrew. However, apparently Andrew didn't like her care enough, or perhaps (Y/N) just has a more calm aura around her compared to Penelope. How she won Andrew over, she’s not sure, but he chose her. He chose her, not Penelope.

        “Ah, well… I guess I’m just really good at hiding what I feel?” (Y/N) smiled, feeling her polite smile twitch.

        “I’m hopeless. How can I ever find someone to love if I just freak out like this...?” Penelope sighed.

        “There, there, pen. I’m sure you’ll find someone one day.” (Y/N) comforted her, patting Penelope’s shoulder.

        Yes, not today or tomorrow. Not Andrew. (Y/N) thought to herself.

        “What will I do without you?!” Penelope cried, throwing herself on (Y/N) and hugging her tightly as she wept into her chest.

        (Y/N) resisted the urge to push Penelope off her. This was seriously unprofessional and she's certain if one of her coworkers (or worse, her superior and trainer Doctor Ryan) walked in, they'd possibly be sent to HR for how this may look. As much as they’re decent-ish friends, she’s not on the hugging level yet, but she doesn’t want to push Penelope off in case Penelope starts crying about that instead. 

        “Aw, pen. You’re too pretty to be crying about boys! Your eyeshadow is getting ruined.” (Y/N) spoke, diverting the subject. 

        “Aw jeez! Look what I did! I’m such a klutz…” Penelope sniffled, grabbing her phone and opening the camera to selfie-mode. “Aw! It was my good eye too! That took forever to even out.” 

        “How about I help you fix it?” (Y/N) offered.

        “You’re the best.” Penelope smiled, wiping the tears out of her eyes, only smudging her eyeshadow worse on both sides now.

        “Don’t mention it. Do you have the makeup on you?” (Y/N) questioned.

        “Yep.” Penelope spoke, cheering up as she grabbed her makeup purse from her staff locker.

        She sat down on the staff room table and handed the bag to (Y/N), allowing the girl to look through her most prized possessions that kept her feeling cute and confident.

        (Y/N) found an eyeshadow box and opened it, browsing the colors and looking for the right one Penelope had smudged all over her.

        “Cute colors.” (Y/N) commented, adoring the light shades of pinks and nudes.

        “Thank you.” Penelope blushed, watching as (Y/N) grabbed a small bag of makeup wipes and opening them.

        (Y/N) grabbed a wipe and scooted closer to Penelope, grabbing her chin and angling it down so (Y/N) could see better. Penelope ignored the blush rising in her face and her heartbeat increasing, instead opting to close her eyes to ignore the closeness the two shared as (Y/N) wiped the makeup off Penelope’s face.

        (Y/N) noticed the blush on Penelope’s face and decided it’d be best not to acknowledge it or tease her. The first time (Y/N) noticed Penelope’s blush when they first met, she made a joke about it that left Penelope speechless around her for a few days. (Y/N) would rather not experience that awkwardness again. 

        If anybody walked in right now, (Y/N) prays that it’s anybody but a manager or Andrew. With how close they are right now, anyone would get the wrong idea.

        She wiped off the remaining makeup before grabbing a small brush and dabbed it in the light pink shade Penelope applied earlier, fixing her eye makeup. It took a few minutes before (Y/N) finished it.

        “Ta-dah!” (Y/N) cheered, resisting the powerful urge to say “you were my star patient today, have a sticker.” (It’s grown in her vocabulary now).

        “Thanks.” Penelope smiled, grabbing her phone and admiring herself in the camera.

        “No problem. I’m going to get back to the pediatric branch. If there’s any problems make sure to come find me.” (Y/N) explained. “Oh, we're still meeting up tomorrow, right? Think about what doughnuts you want! See you later!” (Y/N) waved, quickly shutting the staff door without waiting for Penelope’s farewell.

        Now that that’s all out of the way… I should get back to Doctor Ryan. (Y/N) thought to herself.

        There was a lingering feeling dwelling inside of her. She still felt sick, like kneeling down and spilling her guts out on the floor. Her chest still bubbled with anger, feeling as though steam is escaping through her ears. 

        It’ll probably take all night for me to calm down. (Y/N) figured, letting out a sigh. What was I angry about again? she thought.

        She walked away from the staff room and down the hallway, heading to the elevators. She boarded on and pressed the second floor button, leaning onto the handrail. The elevator’s movement only worsen the discomfort in her stomach.

        (Y/N) exited the elevator when the doors opened, walking down the hallway to the staff room. She would’ve made it there if she didn’t hear obnoxiously loud whispering in the room next to her, sounding similar to a toddler bickering. She peeked in the room and saw two little boys huddled together in front of a hanging white sheet, speaking to what appears as themselves. She noticed the hospital wrist bands on their arms, confirming their admission here.

        “What are you two doing?” (Y/N) questioned, crossing her arms. 

        They both jumped, letting out their own squeals as they turned around and looked at her.

        “N-nothing! Just… playing!” one smiled.

        They both looked like twins, (Y/N) noted.

        “You both should be in your rooms. What are your names?” she questioned.

        “I’m Tom, that’s Jerry.” The other toddler introduced themselves as.

        “Like the cartoon?” she questioned, a smile on her face.

        “Um… yes?” he spoke, hesitantly.

        Wow. Am I that old? They obviously haven’t seen it… she thought to herself.

        “Well, it sure matches you both, since you sneaked out of your rooms. Who are you talking to?” (Y/N) questioned, resisting the urge to peek behind the curtain.

        Yeah. Like I’m that dumb… I’m not going to die like Psycho from a killer hiding behind a damn curtain. She thought to herself. And there’s no way I’m investigating either. I don’t mess with ghosts.

        “Come along, now.” (Y/N) spoke.

        (Y/N) watched as they walked away, shooting each other glares. She looked at the curtain once last time before shutting the door and walking away. If she looked behind the curtain, she would’ve saw Ashley hiding from the security guard, a scalpel in her hand and ready to attack (Y/N) and the kids if the curtain was opened. Ashley was still mad at Andrew, and now she was mad at all the nurses in the hospital, but especially Andrew’s new nurse he grew to favor. 

        (Y/N) led the two kids to the staff room and unlocked the door, peeking in and looking for any nurse that recognizes these two. She saw one of the pediatric nurses, Wally, and smiled.

        “Ah, Wally. Do you know these two?” (Y/N) questioned, bringing the two kids into the room.

        “I thought I locked their doors. They kept trying to escape…” Wally sighed, standing up from his seat.

        “I used a pen to escape.” Jerry smiled. “Then broke Tom out.”

        “Well, thank you for telling me how you got out, because now there’s a no pen policy in your rooms.” Wally spoke, giving them a stern glare.

        “Aw! You just had to run your mouth!” Tom huffed.

        “You didn’t stop me!” Jerry poorly excused as Wally dragged them back to their hospital rooms.

        “How was I supposed to know what you were gonna say?” Tom questioned.

        I wonder what they’re in here for. (Y/N) thought to herself. They sure seem energetic for being sick or injured, but I supposed it could be something internal. 

        She decided to ignore it and refill her medical bag. She grabbed a new bottle of water and pretzels since she gave her old pair to Hailey earlier. 

        She walked out of the room and locked the door, heading back to the clinic. She found Doctor Ryan’s office and stood outside, waiting a few minutes in case there was a patient, that way in case a patient was getting a shot they wouldn't get startled and jump, accidentally breaking the needle or causing harm. She heard nothing from inside the door and assumed there was no patients, so she knocked gently.

        “Come in.” Doctor Ryan spoke.

        “Hello, sir.” (Y/N) greeted, entering the room and shutting the door behind them. “Is there any new patients today?” 

        “Only walk-ins, remember?” Doctor Ryan reminded.

        “Yeah, but I’m so bored…” she sighed.

        “I’ve never met a student that’s actually excited to work.” Doctor Ryan admitted, chuckling.

        “Not all that excited, but I woke up today to go to work, and I get paid to work, so I wanna work. Time is so slow when there’s nothing to do.” (Y/N) rambled.

        “I agree. Hey, I heard you got Andrew admitted for surgery. Internal bleeding in the brain?” Doctor reminded.

        (Y/N) felt a flash of worry and she grimaced.

        “Was that… the wrong call?” she questioned, not even bothering to hide the discomfort and worry on her face.

        “It was the right call. Good job. I just wanted to see you squirm.” The doctor laughed.

        “Sheesh, you worried me! I thought I got fired before evening getting the real job.” (Y/N) sighed.

        “Sorry, sorry. How is he doing? Social-wise? Is he still stingy towards the other nurses?” he questioned.

        “I introduced him to Hailey today. They both were quiet, but they interacted for a bit, which is good considering Hailey hasn’t seen a new visitor in a while.” She explained. "He saw Penelope too and didn't throw anything at her. So that's... good?"

        “How’s Hailey’s condition?” Doctor Ryan asked.

        “She’s only getting worse. I really don’t think she’ll live for long.” (Y/N) sighed, a frown forming on her face.

        “That’s unfortunate. Sadly, it’s part of our job to see them go sometimes.” Doctor Ryan spoke, patting her shoulder. “But hey, we’re here to help prevent that.”

        “That does remind me, when is Hailey’s next chemotherapy session?” she questioned.

        “It’ll be Sunday, but you and me won’t be here. With our day off and all.” Doctor Ryan explained. “Any plans?”

        “I’m hanging out with Penelope from the psychiatric branch tomorrow. Sunday I’ll catch up on sleep.” (Y/N) informed.

        She noticed his smug expression and glared at him, but that didn’t stop him from making his joke.

        “Well, I bet Andr-“ 

        “Don’t finish it.” (Y/N) warned.

        “Okay. Okay.” He chuckled.

        “What do you plan on doing?” she questioned, redirecting the conversation. 

        “Hanging out with my wife and kids. Probably get no sleep.” He shrugged.

        “Poor you, family man.” (Y/N) teased.

        “You don’t understand what it’s like trying to sleep in a house with two toddlers during the day. It’s not very easy.” He explained.

        “How’s the wife and kids anyway?” (Y/N) questioned.

        “Jax just celebrated his third birthday. Piper’s learning to read. And Jane wants me to work day shift.” Doctor Ryan sighed.

        “Well, why don’t you?” (Y/N) questioned. “You sleep in the day and can’t spend time with your family at night since they're sleeping. I think it’d be best.” 

        “Exactly. Everyone does that. We don’t have enough nurses for night shift, especially skilled ones.” Doctor Ryan huffed, then remembered that (Y/N) technically qualifies as unskilled, at the moment at least. “Which is why I teach you! So I can skedaddle!” 

        “I’ll be the best pediatrician here.” (Y/N) smiled, then noticed the stare Doctor Ryan gave her. “Night shift wise, I will be. You’ll be on the day shift.”

        Doctor Ryan’s walkie-talkie went off, catching both of their attention.         

        “Doctor Ryan, a nurse is bringing a patient to you. Possible UTI.” The walkie-talkie spoke.

        “Aw, poor kid.” (Y/N) spoke.

        “Yeah, poor kid alright.” Doctor Ryan grimaced, just imagining the pain and discomfort.

        “Well, let’s get it checked out then prescribe antibiotics if they’re right.” She sighed, stretching her arms out and cracking her knuckles.         .         .         Thirty minutes before (Y/N)’s shift and she felt exhausted. The work day went by pretty fast and now she was walking down the hallway to see Hailey.

        She slowly opened the door, not wanting to knock and accidentally wake up Hailey, but she wanted to make sure Hailey was still breathing.

        She expected to see a sleeping girl but instead she saw that she was wide awake, using her nightstands lamp as a light so she could read.

        “Hailey!” (Y/N) lightly hissed through her teeth, quiet so she doesn’t accidentally wake up any nearby patients sleeping in their rooms.

        “Hello, Ms. (L/N).” Hailey smiled, unphased that she got caught. 

        “It’s 5:30 in the morning and you’re still up. You should’ve been long in bed sleeping.” She scolded, walking up to Hailey and sitting down on her guest chair. “But, since you’re up. How’s the book?”

        “I think it’s really interesting, the way her decisions could have such consequences. I never thought decisions would mean so much.” Hailey explained.

        “Of course. You know, I had to decide if I wanted to be a nurse or a writer.” (Y/N) admitted.

        “Well, you’re a nurse now.” Hailey smiled, before it dropped. “Do… you think if you weren’t a nurse, would we have never met?” 

        “Probably not.” (Y/N) admitted, not bothering to sugarcoat it to her. "But that's just a consequence from my decision. Not all consequences mean bad things. I don't regret not being a writer either. I'm here with you, aren't I?" she smiled, patting Hailey's hand reassuringly.

        "Uh, that boy from earlier..." Hailey started.

        (Y/N)'s smile disappeared as she felt a bolt of lightning strike her. She felt sick again, and her chest started to pop and boil, and her hands started to tremble. She dug her nails into her palms once more and tilted her head, leaning in close to listen to the girl.

        "He was scary..." Hailey muttered, causing (Y/N) to let out a forced giggle.

        "Ah, yes. I supposed Andrew was. But he's real sweet when he opens up." (Y/N) smiled, giving her a small white lie since she really didn't know herself if Andrew was sweet, but she at least wanted to ease the girl's nerves.

        "I think he likes you." Hailey teased, letting out a girlish giggle.

        "Everyone apparently thinks that." (Y/N) laughed, recalling Doctor Ryan's words. 

        "Well, do you like him back?" Hailey questioned.        

        "Oh, hails. I just met him yesterday!" (Y/N) pointed out, shaking her head as she smiled.

        "It's true love at first sight!" Hailey declared.

        "Where'd you learn that saying?" (Y/N) questioned.

        "I'm serious! I think you two would be really cute, you're like polar opposites!" Hailey claimed, ignoring (Y/N)'s previous question.

        Really, personality-wise, I don't think we're too different. Hailey doesn't understand my outside-work persona. (Y/N) thought to herself as she just smiled and went along with what Hailey said.

        "You should confess!" Hailey encouraged. 

        "What's with you and this?" (Y/N) questioned.

        "I know I won't live long enough to experience love like in the books... so I figured the second best thing would be having you live it." Hailey smiled, her smile fake and twitching.

        "Oh, hails..." (Y/N) sighed, getting up from her chair and walking to Hailey's bedside.

        Hailey scooted over so that (Y/N) could sit on the bed with her. Hailey immediately wrapped her arms around (Y/N)'s torso and dug her face into (Y/N)'s chest, her shoulders heaving up and down, giving away that she was crying. (Y/N) sighed and wrapped one of her arms around Hailey, the other she used to gently caress Hailey's bald scalp, a permanent reminder of her condition.

        (Y/N) wanted to tell her that Hailey would be alright, that she would make it through, but she knew she couldn't promise that, especially to a little kid. She wasn't going to accidentally give the girl false hope and have her miserable on her potential death bed. 

        "You're such a sweet girl, any boy would fall for you instantly. Your cute little button nose and brown eyes would have any boy smitten. Your laugh and sweet personality would have any boy confess their love for you. If you made some friends with the boys here in this branch, you'll have so many guys surrounding you, you wouldn't know what to do!" (Y/N) reassured, poking Hailey's nose and causing her to giggle.

        "Do you think they'd still like me even without hair?" Hailey questioned.

        "Course they would. If a boy only likes you for your looks, punch him for me." (Y/N) joked, smiling.

        "I will." Hailey giggled.

        "Hey, I'll tell you what. When I come back on Monday, I'll take you out to the garden. The flowers are in bloom this year!" (Y/N) spoke.

        "Promise?" Hailey gasped.

        "I swear on my life." (Y/N) smiled. "Now, I'm going to go pay Andrew a little visit. You better sleep when I leave this room, understand?” (Y/N) questioned.

        “Yes.” Hailey nodded.

        “Thank you. And good job today, Hailey. I’m so proud of you for talking with Andrew and staying strong as always. What color star would you like today?” (Y/N) asked, reaching into her medical bag.

        “Purple.” Hailey smiled.

        “You got it.” (Y/N) smiled, placing the sticker down onto Hailey’s nightstand. “Goodnight, hails. I’ll see you Monday.” 

        “Goodnight.” Hailey smiled, getting comfortable in her bed.

        (Y/N) walked out of the room and closed the door, making her way to the elevators. She got on and pressed the fourth floor button, waiting for the elevator to stop moving. The doors opened and she walked out and to Andrew’s room. She made it in front of the door then knocked.

        There was no answer.

        Ah, Andrew must’ve went to bed like I asked. It’s good that he actually listens to me. (Y/N) thought, a smile appearing on her face at the thought of having possibly tamed the cannibalistic murderer (however she did, she does not know).

        (Y/N) opened the door quietly, just to check. It’s also a possibility that he could’ve died in his sleep due to the anesthesia or a error in the surgery. It could also be a possibility that he jumped out of the window since he’s on suicide-watch (not like any other nurse had the nerves to come in and actually leave with no bruises).

        She opened the door and noted that he was still in bed, sleeping peacefully. His heart monitor was still on and showed his vitals, all sounding normal and looked it too. Her heart sped up a bit as she watched him sleep peacefully.

        He looks so peaceful. (Y/N) noted, admiring his vulnerable and slumbering figure. 

        He was handsome when he wasn't frowning. Well, even when he did have a scowl on his face, he was certainly able to make such an ugly face a pretty one. His pale skin in comparison to his dark hair was breathtaking, and his green eyes were simply divine, like Granny Smith apples; sour and tart, but a hint of sweet when you bite down just right.

        She eventually snapped out of her trance after remembering that she was still in the hallway and what she was doing was no doubt creepy, and shut the door. It probably would’ve been a good idea to have told him that she would be gone for a few days, but she’s sure he’ll manage decently. 

        She walked away and to the branch’s staff room, unlocking the door. Lucky, there was no one in for her to have to converse with—nobody except Penelope. Penelope patients were always the most tamest and laidback since HR knew her.. questionable... personality.

        “Hey!” Penelope smiled, just finishing clocking out.

        “Hello!” (Y/N) greeted back, walking towards her and grabbing the clipboard and pen from her hands as Penelope handed it to her.

        “How was patient 402 today?” Penelope questioned.

        “Ah, he had surgery so I didn’t see much of him. He saw Hailey for a few minutes before he went to his room and slept.” (Y/N) explained. 

        “Oh, that’s wonderful! I’m so glad he’s doing okay and I’m glad he’s getting along with Hailey.” Penelope squealed.

        “Mmhm.” (Y/N) hummed, finishing her clock-out.

        She used the computer and typed up today's report for all her patients. When she got to Andrew's she typed: get casting on leg done immediately while he’s still asleep so he or his sister doesn’t get hostile. 

        Penelope read the screen from over (Y/N)’s shoulder, then spoke.

        “Oh. His sister? I haven’t seen her since yesterday!” Penelope explained.

        “Huh. Well, maybe she had something to do today?” (Y/N) reasoned. 

        “Maybe! But I heard from Ruby that she was kicked out of the hospital after she got aggressive with Andrew. She probably got banned from returning.” Penelope explained.

        (Y/N) physically grimaced, a scowl forming on her face at Penelope saying Andrew’s name. She really didn’t like it when Penelope said his name and she’s not sure why.

        “Is there something wrong? Did you forget to do something?” Penelope questioned.

        “Oh, no. I just made the face because I can’t believe his sister could be so mean to him while he’s injured.” (Y/N) smiled forcefully.

        “Right? Poor Andrew… I really hope he doesn’t have to see her anytime soon! It makes me wonder how she usually treats him uninjured.” Penelope frowned, pitying the poor patient who wasn’t in the room.

        (Y/N) grimaced again, hating her saying “Andrew” just as much as she hated it the first time, if not, even stronger.

        “I agree.” She spoke through her smiling teeth, another forceful grin. "Welp!" she smiled, clapping her hands together. "See you tomorrow, Penelope!" she spoke, quick to clock out and leave. 

        (Y/N) quickly walked down the hall to the elevators, hopping in and pressing the lobby button. She took a moment to compose herself, leaning against the railing.

        I feel so weird today. My chest feels like it's being squeezed and I feel almost angry... She thought, confused of her emotions. 

        Maybe she didn't eat a big enough lunch. When she gets home, she'll eat dinner and drink lots of water before heading to bed. Yeah, she could use the meal and the sleep. It can be really difficult being the caretaker when you have no one to care for you, but in her own words, "in order to care for another, you must first learn to care for yourself."

        She got in her car and drove back to her apartment, shutting the door and locking it before she collapsed on her living room's couch. She laid on her back for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling blankly, no thoughts crossing her mind.

        She needed the few minutes to gain some energy. It’s always so exhausting smiling and being positive, especially in such a depressing and brooding setting such as a hospital where many meet their end, even worse that its children. 

        She doesn’t regret her decision in going through with becoming a pediatrician, but it does get heartbreaking seeing young kids die. She tries her best to help them, but sometimes there’s just some things out of your control.

        She knows that when Hailey dies, she’ll be absolutely devastated. Out of all the patients she sees and talks to, she always makes sure to give Hailey the most of her attention and time. 

        Hailey was first admitted into the hospital when she was seven. After weeks of in and out tests at the hospital, MRI’s and blood withdraws, she was diagnosed with cancer. From then on, she spent her days at the hospital. Hailey’s parents were always busy, one was a lawyer and the other was a traveling diplomat. The nurses were basically babysitters for her while her parents were working.

        Her parents loved her, they loved her so much that they couldn’t bare to see her slowly deteriorate in front of their eyes, so they forced themselves away from her side and indulged in work to rid the thought of their only daughter dying. They didn’t realize how lonely or terrifying it was for Hailey, to suddenly be surrounded by white walls and white floors and white sheets. Surrounded by the stench of heavy bleach and aroma of lemons. By radiation machines and clumps of lost hair on her pillows. 

        She watched out of her window as other patients walk in and out of the hospital, their families walking by their side, supporting them during their times of need. Her visitors weren't family, but nurses and doctors entering and exiting her room, no longer bothering to smile or give her white lies of how she'll heal soon.

        (Y/N) couldn't try to understand or emphasize, she wasn't sick in a hospital bed balding. She wasn't bedridden, and she had the fortunate ability to move her legs unlike Hailey's legs, the clumping of leukemia cells in Hailey's knees making it hard to walk on some days. (Y/N)'s been Hailey's nurse for five months now, she had started nursing Hailey before she decided to change her career.

        (Y/N) was originally going to be a pediatric nurse, make sure children are sticking to their proper recovery path and taking medications that they're doctors are prescribing them, provide utmost comfortability and nurturing to them as they could, and constantly run tests on their weights, diets, and symptoms, but she changed her studies to become a pediatric hematologist-oncologist after meeting Hailey. 

        (Y/N) graduated high school a year early by taking Advanced Placement (college-level) courses and getting a head start by going to classes during school breaks and on the weekends. It was exhausting and downright infuriating at times, but she managed and graduated with her high school diploma along with a certificate in child care after completing a three-year course in high school for early childhood education; allowing her to get a part-time job after high school by working in a daycare. Then she moved out from her parents, heading to college and completing one year of adolescent medicine (originally, it was supposed to be four, but her AP classes counted for college-credit and high school credits). She finished college five months ago, and now she's learning from Doctor Ryan JTED general pediatrics while taking online hematology-oncology classes to graduate med school early. 

        She had always been an over-achiever, aiming for success to please her parents and earn what little praise she could. It had been a goal ever since she was a child, to hear such little words from them with actual meaning, not just false words spoken on auto-pilot to shoo their child away.

        Her father wanted her to be successful and rich in life, so she wouldn't have to deal with poverty in her future anymore, and her mother... well, her mother really didn't care what she did. In fact, her mother never cared at all. Her parents were always working all the time. Her father worked as an overworked and underpaid mechanic who worked 6-8, never having any time for his daughter as he worked in the day and slept at night. Her mother was also a nurse, specializing in cardiology; she slept in the day and worked at night. Even on her days off, she slept and ignored (Y/N)'s needs. 

        From two years old to five, (Y/N) was locked alone in a room with a bed, TV, and a bathroom. She was locked in a dark room for 16 hours a day, with no food and the only water source was from the sink's faucet. All she did in that room was sleep, watch cartoons on the TV, and cry; begging to be let out of the room, begging for food, begging for any sort of affection or tenderness from her mother who slept in the room next door so that (Y/N) wouldn't interrupt her sleeping. Instead, the only affection she received in her life was the embrace of her bed's sheets.

        All her time in her hands caused her to sleep so much she developed a sleeping disorder, hypersomnia; the inability to remain alert, woke, or refreshed in the daytime despite having an excessive amount of rest. That condition became chronic, even now she struggled with it, which made her excessive daytime sleepiness so much worse due to working eight hours at the hospital for her JTED classes of general pediatrics (at least she got paid for her apprenticeship, working from 8 A.M. to 5 P.M.), and studying online for hematology-oncology for at least 3 to 4 hours after work. She's eternally grateful for her med school being paid, earning a scholarship due to all her high grades in her AP classes and completing college with her adolescent medicine degree. Medicine was a part of her mother's side of the family, and (Y/N) naturally became a caretaker after learning to care for herself her whole life; touch starved from the hands of her mother and father. 

        If (Y/N) had been the patient in the hospital bed, would her mother have cared then? Would she have shown a bit of sympathy? Even just touch her arm for a few seconds to feel for a vein and inject a IV needle in? The answer was no. Her mother didn't care when (Y/N) had been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance, fainting after days of neglecting her needs of food and water in order to complete her piling school work. Her mother didn't care when (Y/N) pleaded for help at ten years old, saying she believed she had depression and needed help. 

        Instead of helping her, her mother shook it off as hormones from puberty, and even told her to stop overreacting that: "You can't be depressed. People have such worse lives than you, dying alone in hospital beds, and here you are, crying about a few hormonal mood swings." 

Her mother didn't even care when (Y/N) had tried to kill herself when she was just eleven years old. For a nurse, whose job is supposed to protect and care, she was cruel.

        Her father cared, he really did, but he just didn't have the time for her. While her mother slept and ignored her, he was at work busting his ass off to earn money and support their family. He had grown up poor, living in immense poverty, sharing a bedroom with his sister, unsure of when their next meal was. He never graduated high school, he went to the military but after a few years was rejected due to heart conditions, which led him to coming home and getting his GED so that he could go to college and become a mechanic. Money was always a problem for her family, even in a two-income household it was hard to meet living standards. A big reason she piled all that work on her and neglected her health was so she could get her schooling paid for. 

        Remember her saying from earlier? "In order to care for another, you must first learn to care for yourself." Well, she had to teach herself that the hard way. She realized she couldn't be a nurse and preach others to care for themselves if she couldn't even care for herself. So, she took on hobbies to help her mental health, forced herself to make friends and gain confidence, made an oath to stop her self-harm when she was young. This was a challenge, but it presented opportunity for growth, for success, for happiness. 

        Opportunity is everywhere, so long as you choose to believe it. You don't need to see things to know it's there, so long as you have faith. Opportunity is everywhere, lurking and waiting to jump out from the corner and get you! Even the corner of your bedroom, while you lay thinking of nothing and everything depressingly on your couch. Opportunity is stalking, waiting patiently for you to walk through your bedroom door so they could give you a big hug! Or a stab! Or multiple stabs! 

        Opportunity comes in many forms. Education, money, experience, decisions, and even people; such as Ashley Graves! Opportunities to pursue your goal of nursing, or if we use Ashley's motivation, a wonderful opportunity to stab a little nurse out of jealousy all because she just happened to get too close to her brother after he made a minor slip-up. A Grave consequence, really. 

A cliff-hanger! This is where the next chapter will take some time to come out since all the previous chapters were drafts I wrote for fun before I started writing for Tumblr.

Also, Penelope is one of my first yanderes I created myself, an OC! While she won't play a major role in this series, she'll have her own headcannons and such one day once I get around to it, maybe you'll find an interest in her yourself!

Want more Andrew Graves content? Check out the Andrew Graves masterlist!

Inbox is OPEN for questions about the story and new plotlines/ideas, not for request!

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, current chapter, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, final chapter.

Want to listen to music while reading? Check out the Star Patient's Official Playlists! Multiple different playlists and genres!

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Hi 🦆

I was thinking of an angsty/comfort request of Matt losing his powers for a certain period of time (could be an accident or curse or anything) and that he's struggling a bit being a regular blind person (feeling a bit insecure too ). The reader reassures him that she still loves him and needs him no matter what.

and just a lot of cuddling and soft kisses (im weak 😅🤧) as possible, tenkiu 🦆🦆

hii!! I love this sm!! thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

…

in good time

Matt Murdock x fem!reader

word count: 508

✧.┊ MASTERLIST

Regarding what Matt does at night, there is always a high possibility of him getting hurt. You just never considered how difficult it would be to watch him struggle as you mend him back to health. 

Several nights ago, when Matt was patrolling, he was caught in a pretty hefty fight between two rival gangs. He was massively outnumbered, and as hard as he tried, he could not keep up. When he returned home, he was completely out of it, so beaten and broken that you thought you lost him for good. 

Since his incident, you've been taking care of him, considering he was practically immobile. He got quite the beating that left him with deep gashes, a concussion and jumbled senses. 

As stubborn as Matt is, he eventually allowed you to care for him- not that he could protest. He was adamant he didn't need your help but soon realised he couldn't do much without his heightened senses.

So, for the last few days, you've been easing back to himself- as much of him that's left anyway. 

"Hi," you softly greet Matt on the sofa. "Good nap?"

"Hm," he hums, nodding once, a solemn expression on his face as he focuses on the ceiling. "Just..." he starts, cutting himself off with a sigh. "Never mind."

"Matt," your tone is soft and cautious, almost like you're warning him. You sit on the edge of the coffee table and slip your hand into his, bringing it to you. "You'll get them back," you hesitated, gently rubbing over his grazed knuckles. "You always do."

"I know," he mumbles, pulling his hand away as if he was shielding from your comfort. "What use am I without them?" he whispers, his tone quietening like he knew what he was saying was wrong.

"What use? Matt, honey. Please don't speak about yourself like that," your cadence full of warmth. "I know it might not be what you want to hear right now, but you're still you without them. You don't need super-crazy-hearing for that."

"I know, sweetheart," he exhales. "I just feel like I'm starting from the beginning again."

"I didn't think of it like that," you admit, feeling embarrassed. "We can take it slow. We can do little things every day— or whenever you feel up to it, and we can try little things to get them back, okay? I still have more vacation days, so I can take some time off until you're all better."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You don't have to. I want to," you smile, lacing your hand into his extended one. "We can take it easy, small things each day."

He lazily smiles, opening the blanket and nodding to the space in front of him. You snuggle in beside him, draping your arm over his chest as you cuddle into him tighter.

"I just miss the sound of your heartbeat," Matt whispers, kissing the crown of your head. "I love you."

You reach up to kiss his cheek. "I love you," you whisper back.

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matt taglist: @hailey-murdock @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @redecoratestan @kpopgirlbtssvt @scarletsloveletter @princess-pebbles-things @messymissy @schneeflocky @readerhead @thegreengoop @charmedkim @queerponcho @selfryed