#had to stop because one of Dooku's padawans screamed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

evilminji · 2 months ago

Text

Know what's been haunting me? And my Yandere loving brain?

What if... an SI-OC? Fffffucked UP™?

Like? STRAIGHT up "....Oh No. I have? GRAVELY miscalculated."? Cause? And I'm probably wrong here, or forgetting nuisances, but? Dooku? Left the order and began his Fall? NOT because he disagreed with the vast majority of Jedi philosophy... but?

Because of what the Jedi had BECOME.

Senate attack dogs. Indentured servants. Following NOT the Force or their Orders Mandate, but a mere GOVERMANT. Politicians. Straight into ruin and slaughter no less! It was vile. Corrupt. A perversion and degradation of HIS beloved Jedi Order.

He was proud and filled with grief, isolated. Palpatine chose well.

But! He was ALSO a Master Jedi with DECADES of Mastery under his belt. You do not become that with out clear vision of what you want. Who you ARE. And Dooku? Very CLEARLY planned on winning. Killing Sidious and taking his place. An unfortunate necessity, really. In his Grand Plan™.

Too?

Start over, obviously.

Instead of just leaving and starting a NORMAL Religious Schism, building a temple on Serrano, and publicly calling his old Council members lil bitchs. Slap fighting in the town square, as is traditional. Maybe sending pass aggressive notes back and forth in the hands of increasingly spoiled Padawan, because OUR temple at least FEEDS these POOR WAIFS. Etc etc?

Dude went the SITH route. Of... you know... "kill everybody".

Bit extreme. Just saying.

However! Dooku? Not well! In fact, DEEPLY unhinged and masterfully hiding it! Because he is, in fact, a MASTER jedi! And know how to fucking DO THAT. So that slow creep of Deepyly Crazy? No one sees it. Gives ya time to miss the countdown to Boom, as it were.

Which leads to our dearly beloved SI. She? Is a well meaning IDIOT. She can't help it. It's the Force, man. All that feel good juice, clogging up her brain! Making her? Optimistic! Vaguely perky! Wanting to see the GOOD in people!!!

Disturbing, she knows. But it is what it is.

And MASTER Dooku? Feels? Stern but warm. Stalwart. Like one of those ancient trees or great temples in a quite moment. Old and powerful, not necessarily KIND, but certainly not UNKIND. Just... fussy, you know? Proper. Collected and self contained. Doesn't like messy and dirty and needless noise.

So... what's an itty bitty Crecheling to do? To stop this Respected Master from falling? Well... Yoda seems to think "babies" works? And SHE is Baby...

Better scrub down so I'm EXTRA not "why are all children so... sticky?" and make my self look as presentable as possible. Then? Plan: Stalk the Respected Master Dooku Like A Duckling is a GO~! Yoda finds this INSTANTLY hilarious. Starts feeding her insider information (One of his many, later Great Regrets).

Dooku likes THIS tea. Meditates in THIS garden. Ask him about THIS subject, no one listens to him rant about it, he'll enjoy lecturing you about it for HOURS. She actually learns quite a lot! Man's a good teacher. And SHE? Is a dutiful, polite, thoughtful, shining young paragon example of what he feels the Jedi SHOULD be.

She LISTENS. Unlike his foolish peers. She tries to better herself, day by day, instead of running around screaming and playing in mud. Asks after etiquette from the courts he's traveled too, so she does not offend in the future. Does not react with blind disgust to questions others would deem heretical!

Instead? SHE comes from a JEDI place of approach with compassion and consultation of the Force. What creates the most GOOD? How can we strive for the kindest, most ethical, most equal social possible? What brings the universe the most Light? Where do OUR duties end and the duties of OTHERS begin, and when is it time to call them on their failings, should there be any?

It is? Delightful~ if he were not already committed to his path, he would seriously consider taking her on as a Padawn. Like the Granddaughter he never had. In FACT? He is conflicted. While he does not wish to lose the bright little light he has become so accustomed too? He should probably do what is best for her.

He IS leaving after all. Eventually. Perhaps after Qui-Gon finally knights his own padawn. He can convince the man to come with him. A talk between them has been so very, very long overdue. And the man is like a son to him. Young Obi-Wan is a fine young Jedi. Upstanding and collected, could use a bit of tempering. Outrageous flirt. It would be hilarious.

It's a good plan.... right up until it isn't.

Until the Council's BLINDNESS lead his SON to dying alone. For Sidious little games. And the place in HIS chosen lineage is USURPED by some WHINY SAND COVERED BRAT who can not CONTROL himself! No. NO.

Absolutely Not.

As far as HE is concerned? HIS lineage? Goes him, Qui-gon, Obi-Wan, and then SI-OC. No Sand Brat. Is he spiraling? Oh yes. Has been for a while. But now? NOW someone just kicked out a major support beam. The building is a'shaking. SI-OC is worried. Knows this could make or break his Fall.

Doesn't realize that ship has sailed LONG before she arrived.

Jedi Master's do not Fall over night. It is the slow erosion that kills them. Death by ten thousand cuts. He was already thousands deep. Bleeding and bleeding, beyond her abilities to heal. Yoda could have changed things. He is a Master. But a mere Crecheling? An untrained child? No. She stood no chance.

Does not realize that, as she stands in the heart of the storm. The center of the bear trap. As composed Master Dooku grieves and rages, hair disheveled and robes a mess. No, he can not come to the comm right now. No, he is not taking visitors, thank you. Please, Master Dooku. Please! Drink some tea? Eat? Something. Anything. I beg you.

It is a focal point. An anchor to cling to, in that great Fall. As SI-OC fusses with blankets and music that might help, pressing her small and fragile light against his shields like a comforting weight. As though trying to protect him from the pain. As though ANYTHING could protect him.

Sits with him, in remembrance.

Comes with him, to the funeral.... where stands the sand brat. At HER Master's side. As though enough has not been stolen. How dare he? How dare THEY? To allow this!? Hatred festers. Rage. The mania that Darkness brings. He sees now. Ooooo ho ho, does he now see.

The Order has become Rotten. It cannot be saved. The Jedi have lost their way.

The old must be purged... and they must begin again.

It's all so CLEAR now. So simple. The path forward. Its so obvious now, HE is not leaving, oh no, THEY are leaving. It would be madness to leave a vulnerable Crecheling in such unfettered corruption. Exposed to the nonexistent mercies of Sidious and his ilk. Not to mention, Force knows what filth they'd attempt to stuff in her head behind his back!

Knight Kenobi is an adult. Can comport himself and defend his person. SI-OC can not. She is just a youngling. Should have BARELY been a padawn. But... things have changed.

SI-OC fall asleep, comfortable and certain she is perfectly safe, in MASTER Dooku's apartments. Just another Tea Time and obscure Force Philosophy lecture. Maybe some hands-on etiquette lessons. There are many, MANY different ways to take tea. And... man... the room is so cozy. Always so comfortable and tastefully inviting. Warm an... an snoozy... feelin... *thunk of a small child falling over, dead to the world*

Drugged? Sleep suggestion? Soothing bedtime tea? Yes. Yes, he did. She stood literally negative chances. He scoops up HIS granddaughter and leaves droids to pack the rest. Tucks her under his cloak. No one thinks to even check. Who would? He is trusted. Respected. It is well known how he dotes upon the child. Old age has softened him, some jest.

The dangers of attachment indeed. But it is not HIM who is in danger. It is HER who his attachment endangers. Because he can not let go. WILL NOT. Because it can crossed from caring to obsessive. Possessive. To mine, mine, mine.

Children are not property. Not toys or trophies. Teddy bears to squeeze until your hurt stops. They are living, breathing, entities in their own right. Which is something a JEDI would be able to accept. The SITH? No. No, see, his Great-grandpadawn is HIS. This is HIS family. HIS Jedi order. HIS plan to "fix" everything.

She done fucked up.

She wakes up on a ship to Serrano with COUNT Dooku.

His... his eyes turn Interesting Colors now. Ha ha... she is... staying Very Calm. It is REALLY important to stay VERY calm. No sudden movements. We Do Not startle the Darksider! Eeeeeeverones FRIENDS here! R-Right?

Oh of course. Nothing to be worried about, dear. You're just going to his Manor until the NEW temple is finished. (Neat. Terrifying. So, SO many horrifying parts of that sentence). And SI-OC? Pulls the good ol "never argue with the crazy person with a gun" technique. Smile and Nod! Mmmmhmmm! G-great! Can't wait!

(Oh god, help me)

War breaks out. She's on THE Separatist planet. But not? Before crazy grandpa? Has hired bounty hunters to find him force sensitive kids. You know, for the NEW Jedi order. Because we're all pretending here. Smile and nod, fellow hostages. For the love of the Force, smile and nod.

She's not entirely even certain half these children were from families that WANTED to give them up. It makes her sick to think about.

She still has to have Tea Time. Because she, a child, is the HEAD of the New Order. And he has decades of Jedi knowledge to impart. Also? Lonely and fixating. We're a happy family. Because I say so and have hostages. That's why you love you, don't you dear? *SI-OC with a wide, terrified hostage smile* mmmmhmm!

The Jedi? Have figured out what happened. Crecheling mysteriously disappeared at the same time a Count Dooku? They originally thought she tried to follow him. Got lost or grabbed by slavers. But now... NOW? Oh Force they know they horrifying truth. The Darksider stole a CHILD.

Everyone remembers SI-OC. She was the sweet little duckling. Well behaved and polite. A kind child. Worried for Count Dooku. And now look at what's happened?! The CIS is trotting out the "head" or their "new order" and it's their lost Crecheling. Now a teenager. Terror in her eyes and a fixed jedi smile.

The Creche Masters have to be physically dragged away from stealth ships. (They're just going to talk! They're jUST GOING TO TAL-!!!) Plo Koon is fucking HELPING and that's NOT helpful! No, your commander do NOT have "a point"! You can not do just a "little bit" of murder as "a treat"!

A certain Quinlan Vos? Never heard of him, of course, rocks up to this New Order with a smoothie. Has betrayed the OLD order and the Republic. Definitely for realisies and not because he's here to spy! Heeeeey, kiddo. How you holding up?

Answer? Oh THANK GOD, AN ADULT JEDI! Halp! Followed by gross sobbing. So... you know... not GREAT. Wouldn't recommend it.

But! The INTEL. Sweet holy shit, kid. Chips. Palpatine. Dooku behind the Clones. Everything ELSE she's quietly been noting down. Uuuuh, yeah. Yeah that WILL be... real useful.... Holy shit. No, seriously, give him a second. Just like that? Huh. Didn't even have to convince you. Wow. Okay.

Well then! Let's fuck over some Sith!

How the Shadows go about it? Probably very action movie and nail biting. High octane. Sweet big budget cgi effects. They get the De-chipped clones involved. Fox gets to finally, FINALLY shoot his boss. Never a happier man. He deserves it.

But that's not important. What IS? Is Quinlan Vos? Showing up to the Temple, with a burger and smelling strongly of smoke, and like.... over 450 force sensitive younglings, teenage and below. And probably a litter of tookas. Because what? Were they supposed to LEAVE them?

She takes One(1) step into the temple and gets hit with like? Three generations of Guilt Complexes. Man Pain. Yoda, Obi-Wan, AND Anikin? Mother FUCKER, you were 9! What were you supposed to DO? Bite him?! You literally JUST GOT HERE. *SI-OC has used Logic against Skywalker Guilt... it is not very effective!*

When? When will she be freeeeeeee? Cannon Yoda had the right idea.

She should go hide in a fucking SWAMP.

@babbling-babull @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @lolottes @hypewinter @mayfay @hdgnj

#minji's writing #star wars #star wars the clone wars #star wars oc #count dooku #long post #feel like i should specify #platonic yandere #yan dooku #had his brain chemistry COOKED by the Dark Side #and it twisted his perfectly normal desire for family and interpersonal connects?#into obsession and fixation with deeply unhealthy controlling tendencies #his younger self would be appalled #dont do Dark Side kids #not even once

143 notes · View notes

gffa · 1 year ago

Note

This week’s Ahsoka episode unfortunately reignited those tiresome “Jedi child soldiers” accusations in the fandom and of course demonizes the Jedi. What are your thoughts?

Honestly, I thought it was fine. I get why a lot of us have had our nerves scraped raw by fandom constantly harassing us and trying to scream us into bad faith arguments on stuff like this, so I'm hardly going to wag my finger at anyone feeling further scraped raw by this, but genuinely didn't bother me because the show never blamed the Jedi for the position they were put in, hell, Anakin even basically defended it. I get it, it's Felony, we're used to often assuming the worst about him and who knows maybe it was meant as an indictment, but it genuinely didn't come across that way to me and, further, Filoni has proven himself to have drifted far enough from Lucas' core narratives on enough subjects that he now has to prove himself every time to me before I take his word of god commentary into consideration, so if he tries to say otherwise, no he didn't goodbye felony. And, yeah, fandom has been demonizing the Jedi with this, but there's nothing some people in the fandom won't use to demonize the Jedi with, so I'm not going to live my life anymore by what bad faith actors have to say, and instead focus on what's in the show. Where, in the show itself, Ahsoka is a child put into a war that the Jedi never wanted for her, but it was literally fight or die. Lucas even says that that's the quandary the Jedi are put into, that it goes against their morals to get into a war, but it was either compromise on that or everyone dies. When Ahsoka asks, "What if I wanna stop fighting?" the answer is, "Then you'll die." I saw that as a straight line from what Lucas said was the point of putting the Jedi into the war, that it's a shitty position for them to be in, it's against their principles, it's what led to their deaths, but it was that or everyone dies. What kind of choice is that? So, that's the context of Ahsoka being 14 here (as well as we have to remember that Star Wars is a story for children and having younger protagonists is to give their audience a character to latch onto, not everything is a "child soldier" just because a young kid is fighting, GENRE TROPES EXISTS OUTSIDE OF THE NARRATIVE), it's not "the Jedi didn't care about their children", it was "the Jedi were desperately trying to save lives and they weren't perfect about it because NOBODY CAN BE PERFECT and we shouldn't try to make people be perfect because that only leads to disaster, but it still hurt to watch". Ultimately, the point of the episode was that Ahsoka chose to keep fighting, chose to keep fighting to live, chose to accept Anakin's words about how death and destruction were part of her, but she was more than that, too. The show specifically says she's more than that through Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon. The show says that she's more than just a soldier through having everything of all those Jedi in her. For me, that's pretty Jedi-positive, to have Ahsoka come to her choice to live by having her Master say, yeah, Vader's part of us, but so are the rest of the Jedi, and that's what allows her to rise above everything she's been struggling with. Ahsoka was a soldier as a child, but her entire culture is part of her, and her entire culture was more than just soldiers, she was a Jedi, she had thousands of years of Jedi putting all of themselves into her, she has their philosophies, their art, their rites, their customs, their words, their history, their compassion, she literally has their thousand-year-old Padawan training droid with her. The whole point is that the Jedi were forced to be soldiers and that hurt like hell, it created a terrible scar that they'll always carry with them and their legacy, but that ultimately the Jedi Order is more than that one war. Anakin and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon and Dooku and Yoda are more than that. And Ahsoka is more than that, too, because she is all of them and more, just as any Padawan she may take will be all of them and more, too.

And that's so Jedi, that's why teaching is so foundational to who they are (and I love that that's why Ahsoka gets so hurt by Anakin's joke about how teaching isn't all it's cracked up to be, it feels like a dig at her specifically, but it's also part of the theme of how over and over and over we see how much Jedi LOVE teaching as a fundamental of their entire culture), that you pass on what you've learned, that every Jedi who comes after you is everything you can give them and then more.

I love that so much!! And fandom acting in bad faith about it isn't going to take it away from me!! 😂

#star wars #ahsoka series #ahsoka spoilers #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #jedi order #meta

236 notes · View notes

teecupangel · 1 year ago

Note

Tee, I'm re-reading Esama's glorious Sailing the Stars again and, a few chapters in, I thought- if the Desmond who could Hear Us got caught up in this scenario, many of us would be screaming at each other. Some in panic, some in excitement, and a few/one of us are starting to sound slightly unhinged from how long we've been laughing (read: cackling) for and how it's been growing so loud that's it's more like mad howling and it starts to drown out everyone else through sheer Awkwardness and how Unnerving it is.

Meanwhile, Desmond is just standing, awkwardly, before either a couple of Jedi or the entire Council- who are also slightly frozen in awkwardness because the Force is being as unhinged as the Cacklers but less Awkward and Unnerving and more, laughing/howling at a joke that it's decidedly Not Explaining. To Anyone.

And then the cackling suddenly stops and someone says, with a slasher grin you could almost hear: "Hey Des baby, can you go ruin the entire fucking careers of some Siths for us? Pretty please?"

Not sure which time Desmond would come out of, but I find it hilarious if Desmond manages to appear during a time when Qui Gon Jinn and Dooku were having problems later in their relationship but before he takes Vosa as his padawan and now Jinn has to deal with not only the knowledge that His Master Fucks but also has, and does occasionally, Fuck with Sifo Dyas and Madame Nu when the time and preference arises. The mental damage alone has some of Us laughing our asses off. Not to mention the implicated existence of Actual Gods/Patrons and the multiverse.

Sailing the Stars by esama (If you love Star Wars and Desmond Miles, go give it a read if you haven’t… or reread it if you already have XD)

This… isn’t exactly a fanfic of a fanfic because this can be summarized more as “Desmond gets awaken in the Star Wars timeline during maybe the Tales of the Jedi series? and he can still hear us”. I don’t think you need to have read Sailing the Stars to get this little snippet, at the very least.

Desmond has no idea what to do.

By this point, the voices in his head, the capricious ‘watchers’, would be giving him directions or suggestions but they were all still freaking out.

Because, according to what he could actually understand from their freak outs, he was not supposed to be here and this was a ‘crossover’ and “OH MY GOD” and the occasional “I don’t know enough about this!” sprinkled here and there would imply that he wasn’t in his ‘universe’ anymore.

Even the first who talked to him had fallen silent after a dreadful “fuck, this isn’t my fandom” and that was definitely not a good sign.

The other voices he could recognize were too busy freaking out and they were arguing where Desmond.

To be more exact: they were questioning if Desmond was in ‘canon’ or in ‘legends’… whatever that meant.

There a low chant of “Desmond for Darth Revan!” that was being shushed once in a while

And here he was… just… standing.

This council of what they call Jedis was staring at him with furrowed brows, something about how the Force was surrounding him and was… very ‘chaotic’?

But not in a bad way?

Like the kind of giddy chaos that children would get into?

At least, that was what that short green… alien?

Is it racist for Desmond to call him an alien?

Aren’t they all aliens anyway?

Isn’t Desmond an alien too because, apparently, he’s different from the other humans that the Jedis have on record.

Being both more primitive and also too ‘different’ to be considered one of the older ones, whatever that means.

Desmond would have assumed that it was because of his Isu-human gene ratio but the more logical reason would probably be because he was…

Well…

Not from this universe.

Not that he was going to say that.

Even if he did, they would probably just assume he meant not from this specific ‘galaxy’ or whatever.

Desmond would take any kind of distraction at this point and he finally got his wish when the door slid open and two more men entered the room.

The voices were silent for a moment before some of them began to shout, “Oh my god. Is that Count Dooku?! He’s soooo young.”

“Oooohhh, Qui Gon Jinn! Look at him! He’s so baby!”

Desmond’s eyes met the older man that he was certain was supposed to be Count Dooku and the voices hushed for a moment before someone whispered.

“300K, slowburn, corruption arc, hurt and comfort, BAMF Desmond Miles, Good Count Dooku.”

Desmond wanted to sigh.

Maybe he should just run away at this point?

#idk what i’m doing #i didn’t say it was dooku x desmond #but i also didn’t say it was qui gon jinn x desmond #honestly i don’t know what i wrote XD #assassin's creed #desmond miles #ask and answer #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #fic idea: star wars #fic idea: crossover

54 notes · View notes

yourmumsc0ck · 2 years ago

Text

NEEDS

Summary: Ventress is the biggest flirt in the galaxy (sorry Obi-wan)

Asajj Ventress x CorruptFem!jediR

Word count: 1.3k

"Turn left at the next junction-" Plo Koon instructs me over coms, "-and take a steep incline to the landing pad above, through the canopy layers of-"

"I've got it, master," I insist, navigating the busy underworld of Coruscant with ease. Just as he was about to explain in great detail, the only real access to the landing pad was through a thin passage which was neatly sandwiched between two shop-front roofs.

"Be careful, young one. The underworld is dangerous, even for a Jedi," he warns me. Despite now not being his padawan anymore, he still sometimes thinks that I am, "and remember: this is only a scouting mission."

"Yes, master Plo," I respond, biting my tongue of any of my usual sarcastic remarks because I know he only means well.

"Very well. May the force be with you," and after a moment, the faint crackle of the active comlink goes silent. I had been tasked with investigating a lead which the Senate had uncovered while discussing Separatist dealings right here on Coruscant.

Taking the route of the steep ascent to the landing pad, I can feel my speeder bike struggling to keep up with itself as it's strains under the torment of my manic driving. Twist after turn - and jump after jump - the two shop fronts come into view. Breathing deeply, I know this is a one chance opportunity, "Come on, you can do this."

I'm not sure whether I'm talking to the bike or myself.

Taking a slight left to avoid an awkwardly placed transmission terminal, I accelerate over a small jump between two buildings. The entrance is rapidly closing in, yet my speed can't decrease until I'm over the final jump - which lies only metres before the opening.

Flooring it, the bike's screams bounce sharply off the narrowing walls either side of us. The underworld is far deeper than it appears.

Two shop fronts. There and gone in an instant, the jump sends me over the top of a vast, bottomless ventilation chasm. Immediately, I kill the right thruster and lean my full body weight over to the side.

'Clang!' an exhaust vent is sheared off the side of my bike in an array luminous sparks. Not my cleanest of turns. As the suffocating tunnel behind the shops begins to fill with more light, I put the engines so low the faint whir of the repulser fan becomes all but silent.

"Tell Dooku: his deal is off," a male voice exclaims, indignant in tone, "this isn't what I signed up for-"

"You represent a Separatist planet, don't you, Lord Pli?" a second voice responds. This one is female, dripping with a sultry simmer of distain; it's familiar.

I assume that the man nods, because she continues, "Then I don't think it's in the best interest of your people to defy me. I also can't imagine the Republic Senate would allow you to return in open arms, do you, hm?"

"No, but-"

"-Agree to the deal, and I reassure you that our relationship will be..." somehow, her voice goes from a demandingly demeaning sneer, to a slow murmur of lust in a matter of seconds. She is almost impossible to hear, "mutually beneficial."

I can sense the man's increasingly desperate anxiety. His breathing quickens, "But the moons of my world: they have people-"

"-Who will be fairly compensated, I assure you," she interrupts again, yet she makes it so it doesn't feel rude or intrusive; merely a minor interjection.

I haven't yet peered around the corner, but I daren't consider stopping these blatant admitions.

"...Alright," he mutters. To sense him is like trying to search blindfolded for a secondary coupling latch in a Gundark nest: the surrounding Force is so potently asphyxiating that I can barely feel anything else.

"The Count's forces will move in by your day break, and our operations will be functioning in two rotations."

A few minutes later, a shuttle's engines fires up and the landing gears disengage. All falls silent once again moments after 'Lord Pli's' exit.

But the suffocating presence still remains.

"Hmm..." her snarky, teasing tone cuts through the dense silence, "I didn't expect to meet a Jedi today."

My body tenses: how long had she known my position?

"Come out, darling," she sings, a firm smirk in her voice, "I don't bite."

Grasping the cool metal hilt of my saber, I round the corner with it raised and ignited. In front of me - stood hand on hip in the middle of the landing zone - is a tall, slender woman with deathly pale skin and bare scalp. In the blue hue of my weapon, she appears to shimmer, as if not fully there. Form-fitted in strips of dark cloth, it appears every angle of her body and face is jagged and sharp.

"Why don't you put that silly thing away, hm?" she requests with a sharply raised eyebrow, "You don't see me waving mine about, and there really is no need, dear."

"You're a Sith," I seethe, the Force around us beginning to cloud the clarity and calm I usually have, "I can't let you escape."

"You propose a duel... with me?" she teases, feigning surprise, "Oh, darling, I thought Jedi were meant to be intelligent."

I swallow thickly, taking a deep breath to compose myself and feel the Force flow and connect through and all around my body. It brings me a quiet confidence, "Or perhaps you're scared you'll lose."

"I can feel you... your centre is off balance; your peace is fractured," she explains slowly, taking two testing steps towards me, letting her hips sway with her words, "Your anger, your fear, your love and attachment are fighting to get out: you can't deny what is already within forever."

"I am nothing like you!" I retort, clenching my jaw and flexing my fingers around the cool metal hilt of my sabre.

"Not now, perhaps," she smirks, taking a few more steps closer, "but I can feel your turmoil; I can sense the conflict when you meet someone... like me."

"Like you...?" I question with hesitancy.

She takes a few more steps, the frayed edges of her minimal robes shifting slightly with each minuscule movement, "So free... so alive."

"I am free," I say indignantly, keeping my eyes blazing into her's, "and I am most definitely alive."

"You might be an almighty Jedi," she takes the last step, ignoring my still ignited sabre and tracing the intricate details of my robe's lapel. Her sultry fascination begins to move from my robe to the blemish-less ingot pendant hanging around my neck, "but even you can't deny... needs."

This shocks me into a sort of daze. For the first time in a long while I feel myself more than I feel Force.

And she knows it. "Let the anger out... the fear of yourself... of me," she taunts, the cool puff of her breath seeping into my skin, "let it-"

"-I don't fear you!" I lean back and raise my sabre. Within an instant, her dual blades meet mine. The hot white blaze of their connection stings my eyes and makes her pale skin shine.

"Don't you, my dear?" she seems utterly unfazed by my sudden assault.

"No...!" I strain, allowing the Force to flow through me more powerfully than ever before.

Her eyes glow, narrowing to a menacing glower, "Yes! Let the anger flow, let it control you!"

"You won't beat me!"

"I don't need to..." I push her away, the distinct clashing of our blades ringing out across the landing zone. We end up in another standstill, "...because you know I'm correct, darling."

I drop my arm and force her back - but in my moment of lacking concentration - she sends my sabre skittering across the tarmac. I stumble back onto one knee, as she raises her blades to cross at my throat.

"Let yourself live! I can help you be free!" she smirks, "I can help you!"

"You would only control me..." I look up at her, watching how her lips twitch slightly.

"Hm, perhaps," that intricately laced tone of lust returns in an instant, "but you'd like that, wouldn't you, dear?"

#asajj ventress #Star Wars #the clone wars #plo koon #Jedi #fanfic #oneshot #wlw #lgbt #Ventress #nightsisters

29 notes · View notes

everyideaieverbutitsamess · 2 years ago

Text

Why do the stars never align

Anakin/Female Obi-Wan, Soulmark AU

Summary: Where Anakin and Padme are soulmates, tied by the red-string of fate and matching marks. But it is Obi-Wan who has Darth Vader’s name on her wrist.

Main Events/Notes

Obi-Wan's soulmark essentially haunted her for most of her early stay in the Jedi Temple. The whole reason she nearly got sent to Agricorps is because the Jedi Council thought this meant she would fall. This was put to a stop by Qui-Gon who intervened by saying he would take on Obi-Wan as an apprentice and keep her from going dark side.

"You assume this mark means she'll fall, but what if it's the opposite? What if this means she's meant to bring one of theirs back to the light?"

Obi-Wan is pretty much treated like a ticking time bomb. The rumors follow her less after her Qui-Gon takes her as a padawan. But the rumors resurge after he dies and Obi-Wan 'defeats' Darth Maul. A young Anakin faces the brunt of it.

"If you don't feel comfortable having me as your master, I can always petition for someone else to take over your training." "I don't care who your fated is. I'll always stay by your side. Your my master and I'm your padawan."

When Count Dooku is discovered to be the Sith apprentice, the council nearly sends Obi-Wan away.

"Was this all a ploy by your old padawan, Master Yoda? To use his own padawan, your grand-padawan, might I add, to claim the young Obi-Wan?"

"I know you want to argue against the council. But we must trust in the Force, Anakin." "Trust the Force? It's because of the Force that they're locking you away in the first place! You didn't do anything wrong, Master! You never asked to be bonded to the damn Sith!"

Anakin goes after Count Dooku, all the more enraged now that Obi-Wan was being held as a prisoner. At the Count's death and finding of evidence that Dooku had no ulterior motive with Obi-Wan, the council lets Obi-Wan go.

Cue other events. Anakin gets more disillusioned with the council and how they treat both him and Obi-Wan. But he attempts to stay strong for Obi-Wan's sake.

As Anakin grows up, he becomes concerned with his dreams. He sees Padme dying and he hears Obi-Wan screaming in pain at the hands of her fated. Cue self-fulfilling prophecy vibes where every bad dream Anakin tries to prevent essentially comes to fruition. So desperate to save his wife and his master from her Sith fated, Anakin falls to the Dark Side.

Obi-Wan battles Anakin. In the middle of their battle, Padme dies giving birth to the twins and Obi-Wan gets severely injured. Obi-Wan runs away from everything, realizing that the same Sith she had been avoiding her whole life was the man her padawan ended up being.

Possibly maybe cue a Obi-Wan on-the-run continuation as she tries to escape Darth Vader.

Notes: Just an idea so far with nothing yet on the sequel. This was just an outline of what I saw happening for the prequel timeline.

#star wars #star wars fic #fanfiction #sw fanfic #anakin x obi wan #female obi wan #soulmates #soulmarks #darth vader #star wars prequels #story ideas #fanfic ideas #outline #story outline

28 notes · View notes

galacticwildfire · 10 months ago

Text

I think the most evil plotline I'll ever write is in Illicit Affairs, the arc in the clone wars when Obi-Wan fakes his death. He tries to give Rhea a heads up but the message doesn't quite come across. She doesn't feel him die when it happens, so she's effectively on her knees screaming that he's not dead with Anakin and Ahsoka both trying to pull her off as the council go to take the body.

Prior to this I'll have the season 2 arc with Mandalore, except Obi-Wan does everything in his power to keep his wife from finding out he's been assigned to see Satine since she knows enough to put together that it was her he was in love with and he doesn't want to cause an argument or upset her. It's a well intentioned but very bad mistake. Nothing happens between them but it's enough Anakin keys into the history along with Padmé.

So she's at Obi-Wan's funeral, having been literally sedated to get her there without a single care about what the council knows, and then Satine is there. It's going to be at her husbands funeral she finds out he'd lied to her and had seen Satine without her knowing. She shelves that considering he's dead, and her and Anakin decide to get revenge no matter the cost. To the point the council has to call Padmé in to intervene.

The council's lowkey always known about them, but at that point it's no longer a look the other way and pretend we don't kind of thing when she's that out of her mind. Eventually her and Anakin track down Obi-Wan when he's disguised as the bounty hunter and it's only when Rhea's about to murder him he slips up and escapes with her realising what he's done. At this point her and Anakin are partners in crime and are horrified and in complete disblief, trauma bonded to the max.

"I can't believe he never told you," Anakin says, that being the one thing I can't believe either. "I'm his padawan, he doesn't tell me anything. But you're his wife."

Hell she's even got Yoda apologising to her once he's realised he has the chosen one and count dooku's former apprentice about to commit murder together and drops the fact that he knew all along about her and Obi-Wan while Anakin keeps his mouth properly shut and his head down.

She's always had a bit of a vengeful streak in her, and she's just saw her husband die, thinks he might have cheated on her (he's innocent but still lied), and now he's suddenly alive and has lied to her to protect palpatine.

Knowing damn well Obi-Wan's in the room she walks into the warehouse on Naboo where Dooku's plotting and swears herself as his apprentice again (she doesn't even know if it's a lie or not at that point) just to hurt Obi-wan a fraction as much as he's hurt her. She is out for pure blood at that point. She's plotting Palpatine's assassination with Dooku and committing treason against the order and the republic right in front of Obi-Wan whose still in disguise and at that point the only thing stopped her from returning to dooku is the fact he tried to kill Padmé because she is just that done with the jedi by that point.

So when she tracks down Obi-Wan the next day when he's in that watch tower she lets all hell fly loose, but still keeps the Satine thing shelved for now (partly because she was that drugged up at the funeral she's still processing if that interaction was even real). And the fact that the whole plot was to protect palpatine, the person she hates more than anyone in the galaxy... she would trump anakin on his worst day, well except for his last one. She's torn between wanting to break down and cry with relief because he's alive and putting him back in that coffin herself. They'll eventually make it up enough to complete the mission, but when Obi-Wan confesses about Satina in the midst of Maul returning that will be the last straw.

He's going to accidentally both drag Padmé and Anakin into it with the "It was innocent, nothing but professional, Padmé even saw us in the senate you can ask her" and finding out Padmé and Anakin had also known and not told her... she's going to take off and they won't work things out for quite a long time.

I've written a lot of angst, but this arc is the worst of it. I'd written it a year and a half ago, then decided to rewrite the story so it was less insta-love and followed canon better. So... that will be a fun one to write again

0 notes

spokewar · 1 year ago

Text

Whether purposeful or not, Dooku was making an excellent job of pushing Obi-Wan to both the edges of pity and guilt, one for his weak attempts at goading and the other for being yet another hostile face prowling the temple halls, the place they were once again trying to make their home. Yet still, he wasn't ready to be sorry—and his men wouldn't want him to be sorry either.

No words were able to find themselves past his lips and for the first time since the war's end, he found himself stumped and speechless. The silence would not go unnoticed and while Obi-Wan didn't want his grandmaster to think he'd won or bested him, there was still no remark or quippy reply at the forefront of his mind. He wanted to be defensive, but perhaps defensive was a stale way of thinking. This was a new reality in which they were to work side by side and not at the opposite ends of a battle field or the wrong side of a lightsaber.

Audibly, he swallowed, solid blue eyes quickly shifting around the emptied corridor before planting his feet on the ground and holding Dooku's gaze steady in his own. His stance might have screamed he was readying for a fight or to bolt, but his expression was contradictory. Steadfast, yet nervous, all furrowed brow and worried lines. "I thought this would work," there was manic seeping back into his (normally so) carefully guarded tone. He had thought being away from Coruscant for so long would have eased his mind, settled him into some sense of normalcy so he could live among the Order again, so he could live like a Jedi and not the soldier he'd been molded into. Evidently, it hadn't worked. The faces of those lost in battle were still gone and the man whose face he had come to fear was now standing before him, as a friend. Despite his hopes, it all still felt so wrong. How could Dooku not feel how wrong it was? He should have stayed on the Negotiator, running relief missions to war torn planets and attempting to bring peace to the ones still struggling to support the fallen Imperialist movement. It was a far less stressful job than just simply existing within the temple walls, organizing what was left of the Jedi Order. Being with his grandmaster, Qui-Gon's teacher and Master Yoda's fallen padawan, the missing link to their broken lineage.

"You left because you doubted us, is that not right? Do you suddenly not mind our philosophy anymore or are you here because now we're on the winning side?" Obi-Wan already knew the answer was neither, but he wanted to hear it regardless. These emotions had stained him, changed him, and he could not let them go; he wouldn't. Maybe Dooku had been given the proper time to assimilate into their daily structure, but Obi-Wan had only been planet-side for a mere few days, the rest he had spent still witnessing the carnage and chaos the war had left in its wake. There was a new battle raging across the galaxy now, not one of political power, but of hope versus destitution.

Obi-Wan couldn't be sure how long his silence had lingered after the accusation, and he was suddenly aware of the air not filling his lungs despite his forceful breaths. His racing thoughts came to an abrupt end as he saw himself on the verge of panicking. He probably should not have been panicking. "You are playing friendly with me and I wish you would stop. I don't want you to humor me, or placate me or-" he cut himself short, not exactly sure what he wanted. Mostly, he wanted to be angry and for Dooku to accept it, even if it was a rather un-Jedi way of thought. "I fear I've made a mistake. I should not have sought you out."

TO A SEASONED POLITICAN — an expert at the delicate art of reading other souls — such as himself, it was painfully obvious what Obi-Wan was attempting to do.

⠀ ⠀ OBI-WAN WAS ATTEMPTING TO GOAD Dooku into a fight, and he would not let him succeed. As both the RULER OF SERENNO and a JEDI MASTER, Dooku was above such petty endeavors, particularly when said attempts to provoke his wrath were so incredibly heavy-handed.

The former Sith Lord’s features were thusly stoic as he glanced over towards his companion, devoid entirely of any emotion that the incensed Jedi Master could use against him. He bit back a jab of his own — this lack of subtlety is unbecoming of a soul such as yourself, Master Kenobi; I would’ve thought that THE NEGOTIATOR possessed more self-restraint than what you have expressed to me thus far — with great reluctance, well aware that to fight fire with fire would only make that fire burn even brighter than before.

⠀ ⠀ INSTEAD, Count Dooku slipped ever so naturally into the role of gracious grandmaster, and took his obstinate grandpadawan’s thinly veiled vitrolic comments at face value. It was not an easy feat; his pride bristled at its silencing, but he managed to suppress it nevertheless.

“ You may find transcripts of my trial in the recorded archives and physically printed editions of every major newspaper throughout this galaxy, Master Kenobi. I encourage you to seek the answer to your question out for yourself, rather than wholly relying upon another to do all the work. ” His tone was mild as he responded — it was conversational, as though he were discussing the weather and not the most controversial Senate hearing of their time. " Draw your own conclusions and form your own interpretations regarding my assertions, then we may discuss the matter further. "

⠀ ⠀⠀ “ It is indeed strange, being back at the temple. ” Dooku admitted, deciding to ignore Obi-Wan’s comment. The temple was indeed emptier than he was used to and he would never forgive himself for the role he played in this fact, but Obi-Wan wasn’t ready to hear such words. It would render him too human for the boy, he thinks. “ One never quite realizes how much they miss a place … how important it truly is to them … until they come back after leaving with the intention to never return. The culture … the place itself … the souls … ” He trailed off, shaking his head. “ I missed everything so much. Now that I have adjusted to our way of life here, I would indeed be delighted to spar with you should you ever require a partner.”

⊱ … @spokewar

#timeline: main.#prodijedi #sorry i think i wrote 2 paragraphs of obi having a panic attack and not realizing it

7 notes · View notes

phoenixyfriend · 3 years ago

Text

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?

2K notes · View notes

sirikenobi12 · 4 years ago

Text

War & the Jedi

This will be a long meta rant, FYI.

The Jedi Order, specifically the Prequel era Jedi Order, gets a lot of hate these days particularly regarding their involvement in the Clone Wars. Accusations are tossed at their feet constantly ranging from corruption all the way up to warmongering.

Let’s first look at the Oxford English Dictionary definition of these two accusations, shall we?

Corruption - having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.

Warmonger - a person who encourages or advocates aggression towards other countries or groups.

The definitions of these two words are so very misunderstood when it comes to relation to the Jedi. If the Jedi are truly “corrupt” then where are the examples of their dishonesty for wealth or personal gain? In fact, I’d argue that canon (and Legends) makes a point to show us that it is the Sith who are in it for personal gain, not the Jedi. The Jedi have absolutely NOTHING to gain from this war on a personal level, in fact they are losing members in terrifying numbers.

The Jedi are also not advocating aggression towards the Separatists, in fact what we see instead is the Jedi DEFENDING against the Separatists. I have yet to see in either canon or legends an instance where the Republic forces invade a Separatist planet who doesn’t have an army or some military involvement (i.e. weapon factories). However, time after time we see the Separatists forcing peaceful planets who want nothing to do with them to either bow to their cause or die (i.e. Ryloth, Lurmen planet, Kiros, Mandalore) the Jedi and Republic Troops will then follow the Separatists to these planets, but they try to do what they can to liberate the planet from the Separaist invasion and then they give the planet the OPTION to join the Republic for safety and economic reasons, but they never force them, as is super evident with Mandalore.

Yet people don’t seem to see this and continue to drag the Jedi through the mud.

Here are the top 5 other “woke” takes I hear -

Jedi are peacekeepers and should not have gotten involved:

First things first, let’s look at the definition of Peacekeeper - a soldier, military force, etc., deployed to maintain or restore peace.

I’d argue by that definition the Jedi were still peacekeepers, it’s true that they weren’t a 3rd party as they normally were before the war, but their position was trying to maintain or restore peace. Peacekeeper is not the same thing as a Pacifist, the Jedi were skilled warriors (training from childhood to wield a lightsaber), the difference is Jedi used their skills for defense not attack which is what we constantly saw throughout the Clone Wars.

With regards to the idea that Jedi “should not have gotten involved” I ask you then what exactly were they supposed to do instead?

We see at the beginning of Attack of the Clones that the Jedi are worried things will escalate to war, they have obviously gone to the Chancellor hoping that a diplomatic solution can be presented to avoid bloodshed. Or if that isn’t possible then that the Republic have some way to defend themselves other than relying solely on the Jedi (i.e. an army). The Separatists are the ones pushing them to a breaking point, were the Jedi just supposed to stand back and let innocent people be invaded/killed because they didn’t want to get involved? The Jedi were “Guardians of Peace and Justice” which means it was their duty to help bring about peace in the galaxy while also enacting justice.

Then after Geonosis (where they lost approx. 187 members mind you) they learned that the Sith are leading the Separatist army - the Jedi are duty bound by their code to fight the Sith, they had no choice but to join the war.

So, I ask again...what were they supposed to do instead?

2. Jedi used a slave army for their own purposes:

Okay, I can (and probably will) write a whole argument based on just this accusation alone. There are so many fallacies I don’t even know where to begin but I’ll try.

I guess my first question is the same as #1, what were the Jedi supposed to do instead with regards to the Clones?

Technically speaking the Clones didn’t “belong” to the Jedi, they were “property” of the Republic (as stated by Lama Su in Attack of the Clones). In fact, the Jedi Council not only didn’t know about the order, they had vehemently denied Syfo Dias’ earlier request to raise an army in the first place. The Sith KNEW the Jedi would be against it, this was all part of their plan to trap the Jedi (as was EVERYTHING about the war) - they clouded the Force, they literally deleted Kamino from the Archives so the Jedi wouldn’t discover it until the Sith WANTED them to (i.e. Jango just happened to use a Kamino dart?? Come on people). Yoda even states “blind we are if creation of this clone army we could not see” he fully admits they missed it because the Dark Side was clouding their vision.

Regardless, the army was created, there was no changing that fact. Had the Jedi not taken command of the army do you think the Clones wouldn’t have had to go to war? Do you actually believe that the Republic who couldn’t get their citizens to give 2 craps about the war would’ve taken up the mantle and fought instead? Do you think if the Jedi were like “thanks, but we didn’t order this” that the Kamioans would’ve just let the Clones go free?

The answer you’re looking for is...no.

So, like absolutely everything about the Clone Wars the Jedi did the best they could with the cards they had been dealt. They chose to lead the army on the front lines, putting themselves in just as much mortal danger as the men they were leading. They even sent a member of the Jedi Council to oversee the creation of future clones/training to ensure they were being treated humanely (something the Kamioans thought was ridiculous). They were the first to tell the clones that they were individuals, they constantly put themselves in front of their men to protect them (i.e. season 7 Obi-Wan deflecting the rocket from blowing up his men). The Jedi did what they could, just because we didn’t see on screen Jedi stopping to grieve every time a clone died did not mean that they didn’t care - real life Generals can’t stop in the middle of a battle to grieve over their fallen soldiers either, so why is it we consider it a moral crime if the Jedi don’t?

Another thing I’ll add is once the Jedi had evidence that the Clones were actually ordered by Dooku, did they immediately stop and say “oh hell no, these flesh droids can’t be trusted, we should just have them decommissioned”?? NO! They defended the Clones, stating that they were good men and should be trusted (and look where that trust got them in the end).

The Jedi were forced/coerced to fight this war as much as the Clones were!! Why are we willing to forgive the Clones, but not the Jedi???

3. Ki-Adi-Mundi killing Geonosians was the same as Anakin’s slaughter at the Tusken camp:

This is another moment where context is everything because there is a HUGE difference between Ki-Adi-Mundi on Geonosis and Anakin in the Tusken camp. The fact that I have to even spell it out makes me wonder how people can even dress themselves in the morning.

The Geonosians were an opposing military force, attacking Ki-Adi and his troops. Anakin slaughtered unarmed women and children out of vengeance.

Now, had Ki-Adi turned to his men and screamed “to the catacombs!” brandishing his lightsaber with a murderous glint in his eyes and proceeded to cut down the unarmed bugs below the battle then you’d have an accurate comparison on your hands and I’d be appalled right there with you.

But, as it stands this is not the same thing...not even close.

4. The Jedi sent children to war:

So, this is a tougher one and I can even understand the concerns behind it, and I even share some of those concerns. The thing I will say to this is, given what we see throughout Star Wars, what constitutes a “child” seems to be different than our own real world definition.

Padme, for example, was 14 when she was elected Queen, and she wasn’t even the youngest ever elected. She (and her handmaids) were trained as children to defend themselves and their people both politically and in battle (much like Jedi), but you don’t hear people condemning the people/traditions of Naboo the way we see the Jedi being condemned for theirs.

Jedi children arguably mature faster than your standard person, and with regards to Star Wars there are also species’ age ranges to keep in mind. Grogu for example is still a baby at age 50, could it be possible that Ahsoka at age 14 is on the same maturity level as a human in their early twenties due to her Togruta DNA?? We don’t know, it’s never stated other than Anakin saying something about because of her advanced skills he forgets how young she is.

Obviously Boba Fett is treated like an adult by other Bounty Hunters - no one even questions when he picks up a job and is placed in charge of a group at age 12 or 13 (and he is placed in an adult prison without anyone questioning it). It could be that by law according to Star Wars that 13 is actually considered an adult. Throughout history (and in many different cultures) 13 was when people were considered to be “coming of age”, So, once again we’re placing our cultural biases onto a fictional space fantasy world without realizing it might not even be an issue in that world.

But even beyond all of that I ask you again - what else should the Jedi have done?

Their young Padawans would eventually have to grow into Jedi Knights, even before the war by the time they are teenagers they usually followed their Masters on missions (often very dangerous missions) in order to get real world experience. At the time of the Clone Wars the real world they were living in was one at war. If they hadn’t brought their Padawans onto the battlefield how else would they have learned how to strategize, or how to cope with the emotions of battle? They would’ve been ill prepared if the war had continued on for years and years as it had looked like it was going to do...once again, the Jedi had no real choice in this.

5. The Jedi lost their way because of the war:

Did they though?? I’d argue they actually didn’t. We first have to ask ourselves what is a Jedi - well, according to the very first time we hear any type of a description about a Jedi they are introduced as the “Guardians of Peace and Justice for the Republic” I don’t see how the war took that away from them.

The Oxford definition of Guardian is a defender, protector, or keeper. I fail to see how the Jedi stopped being any of these things because of the war.

Here’s the bottom line, the Jedi’s biggest mistake was that they fell for a plot 1,000 years in the making. The Sith spent over a millenia perfecting/hatching this plan, there was nothing the Jedi could’ve done to prevent the war by the time the trap was sprung. As always, I’m not saying the Jedi were perfect (I hate that I have to always specify that when I argue that the Jedi were good), all I’m saying is they tried to do the most good that they could with the situation they fell into - few groups/characters can claim the same thing.

Everyone seems to forget that the Sith controlled BOTH SIDES to that war, there was nothing - absolutely NOTHING the Jedi could’ve done that would’ve changed or won that war. So, instead they saved as many innocent lives as they could and to me, that’s very Jedi.

#star wars #jedi #Clone Wars #jedi appreciation #jedi positivity #jedi positive #pro jedi #stop blaming the jedi #meta #rant post #war #The Clone Wars #attack of the clones #jedi culture #jedi council appreciation #jedi did not deserve genocide

429 notes · View notes

aderynrrowntree · 1 year ago

Text

1. This would work really well! Even if, as in my personal Qui Gon survival headcanon, he ends up disabled - he can be a permanent Senate liaison and probably gets dragged into the Council kicking and screaming at the same time as Obi so they have a member always on Coruscant. He can be the Guard's Jedi and make sure they get treated better than canon, while being an absolute pest in the Senate. (I'm imagining him getting a lot of assassination attempts and Sidious getting SO FRUSTRATED because how hard is it to kill one Jedi who can't even walk properly?)

2. Anakin gets to be Qui Gon and Obi-Wan's shared Padawan in this AU - officially he's Qui Gon's, but since he's disabled Obi-Wan gets to drag him on active missions. This also means he spends the first couple of years in the creche with the other initiates because they had to stick him somewhere while Qui Gon was convalescing and then it ended up working well. He and Obi-Wan are still the poster boys for the Jedi during the war.

3. When Bail Organa meets Obi-Wan, all he has to do to befriend him is say "wow you are nothing like your Master!" In a complimentary fashion. They spend the entire rest of the mission telling stories about Qui Gon shenanigans.

4. Qui Gon replaces Obi-Wan as Jedi Enemy #1 for Sidious - he can't even die properly! And like hell is Qui Gon going to let him meet with his Padawan by himself. Also it's going to be really hard to convince Anakin the Jedi are the worst when he sees them putting up with all of Qui Gon's nonsense. Obi-Wan gets to be the awesome older brother he was meant to be. Sidious is so mad. Qui Gon views every assassination attempt as a learning situation and takes lessons from Yoda on being a badass while needing mobility aids. Mace is one of Qui Gon's best friends so Anakin learns he's not nearly as intimidating as he seemed at first quite early. Anakin frequently buys Mace his favorite liquor to apologize for Qui Gon's latest shenanigans.

5. Obi-Wan still gets knighted for defeating Mail but gets to spend time on his own while also helping out with his new brother Padawan. He ends up introducing Anakin to all of his disreputable friends. Just before the Clone Wars he takes his first Padawan, a certain snippy Togruta who's befriended his brother Padawan. (When Anakin starts having dreams about Shmi Obi sends a few friends a message - Hondo pays the Tuskens more to let her go than they were being paid to kidnap and torture her. He accidentally starts a revolution that throws the Hutts off Tatooine in the process. Cliegg Lars ends up helping spearhead a treaty between the Tuskens, the freed slaves, and the settlers that respects everyone's needs and ends up making the planet more prosperous in the end. Hondo turns the Sarlacc into a tourist trap.)

6. Qui Gon sends Dooku SO MANY disappointed holos he eventually breaks down and betrays Sidious because he's so guilty about everything. Plus his Master just can't stop spewing vitriol about his dear Apprentice.

7. Anakin ends up defending Qui Gon when Sidious finally loses his temper and attacks him, and brings balance to the Force by protecting his Master. Dooku hands over all of Palpatine's secrets out of Spite and still can't stand Anakin but at least he agrees that Qui Gon is worth protecting. Anakin quits the Order after the war is over to marry Padme and have babies - Qui Gon is a proud grandpa.

* Quinlan Vos has absolutely no sense of shame and is very proud of his record with Obi-Wan and Fox and everyone else. Qui Gon thinks it's hilarious. Anakin thinks it's SO EMBARRASSING.

Had to share this passing thought bear with me.

Qui-Gon lives au he's a General in the clone wars which Clone would be his Commander?

Obviously Fox. Obi-Wan has his own army to deal with they need someone else to do Qui-Gon's paperwork and rein in impulsive need to follow the Force's will which works well when you're in a small group but not when you're leading an army.

Fox benefits in that this is actually excellent enrichment for him and Qui-Gon will let him use his name and forge his signature as he sees fit.

This all is the worst case scenario for Quinlan Vos who now has to do the walk of shame in front of Qui-Gon Jinn for the second time in his life.

#quinfox #star wars #fix it

950 notes · View notes

willowcrowned · 4 years ago

Note

kit fisto carpet artisan

thank you for reminding me.

So, the important part of the Kit Fisto carpet artisan au is that he leaves the Order to make carpets. The going theory among the jedi is that he had an uncle on Coruscant that left him a carpet shop and he decided to stop being a Jedi to carry on the dying trade, but no one knows but him, and he’s not telling. He also takes Nahdar, his padawan, with him. If Nahdar knows why Kit left, he’s not telling anyone either.

So by the time Anakin is sixteen or so, Kit Fisto, ex-jedi and carpet maker extraordinaire, has a bustling business just outside the senate district— close enough for any of the Jedi to visit. And oh boy do they visit.

Typically, when someone leaves the Order, it’s something only spoken about in hushed tones. There’s no gossip, nor speculation, because Jedi don’t gossip, and besides, they usually already have the reason— while no one is obligated to give a reason for leaving, it’s considered polite to do so. It’s not... dishonorable to leave, but a certain distance inevitably develops. Once someone leaves the jedi, they’re leading a completely different life, and most leave Coruscant entirely.

Kit Fisto is not typical. There’s no warning— not a single inkling that he might be considering leaving the Jedi. One day, he walks into a High Council meeting, declares politely that he’s leaving and taking Nahdar with him, and tells them all they’re welcome to visit him at his new address. (He also makes a point of leaving several of his belongings in his apartment, to give the more decorous members of the Order an excuse to visit.)

Come Monday, Yoda is on his doorstep, probing for answers. Kit does not give them, but he does give Yoda a tour and some tea. When Yoda comes back, cackling and pleased, everyone else takes this as the go-ahead to visit. The jedi visit regularly— only when he’s closed, and only when he has time, but they do come.

This is where the fun begins.

Anakin Skywalker, seventeen years old, very moody and very angry, has an appointment with Palpatine. Anakin Skywalker, seventeen years old, very moody and very angry, has been banned by Obi-Wan from using any speeders, bikes or otherwise, by an exhausted Obi-Wan. (Nominally, it’s because he started a fight in the salles two days ago, but if it keeps him from seeing Palpatine, then so much the better.) (Anakin knows what Obi-Wan is doing, and is furious about it. While perhaps justified, this does not help his case.) So what does Anakin do? He makes his own speeder from old parts. (If he’d thought to call Palpatine, the man would have sent a car for him, but since last time that happened he got a two lecture from both Windu and Obi-Wan, so he’ll just have to be sneaky.)

The problem with speeders cobbled together from old parts is that they have a tendency to break down, usually at the most inopportune moments. For Anakin, this is on the edge of the Senate district, since he was taking a circuitous route to see Palpatine in the hopes of avoiding anyone else he knows. Fortunately, Kit’s shop is nearby, and he’s been with Obi-Wan enough times to know the way.

Anakin walks into Kit’s Artisan Carpets, sopping wet from the rain that just started and looking like nothing so much as a wet kitten. Kit, who has all the grace and wisdom of a jedi master, does not tell him this, and instead offers him a towel and the use of his speeder when Nahdar gets back. In the meantime, he offers, would Anakin like to come see his workshop?

Now, keeping in mind that I know nothing about carpet making, and even less about artisan carpet making, I’m going to say that Kit shows Anakin how to do something simple that’s carpet related. And Anakin likes it. Anakin really likes it. He already loves working with his hands, but this is different. There’s no thinking involved, nothing but the repetitive movement of his hands. Normally, he hates being quiet, being still, but he’s so cold and tired that he’s able to just... drop into a trance. Before he knows it, it’s three hours later and he’s missed the meeting with Palpatine entirely.

Kit sends him back to the Jedi Temple more relaxed than he’s ever been, finally having been able to achieve a meditative state, and with an invitation to come back and help again whenever he’s nearby. When he gets back, Obi-Wan is amazed at how calm Anakin is, and forgets to lecture him on leaving the temple. Anakin does his homework, goes to bed, and when he wakes up, he doesn’t feel so awful.

The next time he comes back from Palpatine’s, riled up and wanting to scream, he stops by Kit’s shop and helps out with some repetitive carpet-related task. The dull motion helps lets his mind wander, but not too far— lets him be still without his brain beginning to scream. For the first time, Anakin is able to meditate without trauma flashbacks or overwhelming, near-painful understimulation.

Once again, he comes back to the Temple calm and slightly better balanced, once again, Obi-Wan doesn’t lecture him. The pattern continues.

Cut to two years later, when Anakin is having nightmares about his mother. Helping out in Kit’s shop lets him meditate on the visions, and Kit has been, well, really great to talk to about attachment. Palpatine is nice and all, but he doesn’t really get the Jedi— has never understood Anakin’s desire to be one. Kit, who knows what is like and is still more Jedi than most Jedi, in Anakin’s private opinion, does.

Kit talks him through visions, helps him articulate his fears, and sends him to communicate with Obi-Wan. When Anakin says that he’s having visions— not just dreams, but solid visions— Obi-Wan promptly requests a sabbatical, and they go to Tatooine.

Obi-Wan helps him rescue Shmi from the Tuskens, and since Shmi is still alive, Anakin has something to focus on instead of his own rage. No Tuskens get murdered— hell, Anakin is so worried about his mom it doesn’t even occur to him to go kill them until after she’s safe. By that point, he’s not in the thick of the moment, so he has time to imagine slaughtering every single one of them before he does it. He thinks of how good it would feel, yes, but also of the screams, of the feeling of their dying minds against his own, and recoils.

When they get back to Coruscant, new fence installed and comm numbers exchanged, Palpatine’s plan is ruined— Amidala already has a jedi protector, no one knows what to do with the dart, and Anakin is much more well balanced now that he’s seen his mother, knows she’s safe, and she’s talked him through his emotions in a way that Obi-Wan can’t.

Does Palpatine give up on Anakin as a lost cause? Absolutely not. He does, however, adjust the plan, leaving an even more obvious trail to Kamino. Obi-Wan still ends up on Geonosis, only this time Anakin is there too, and Padmé isn’t. And, here’s the kicker— neither of them managed to get the message to the Jedi Council, so they’re stuck in their little rotating columns while Dooku stalks around and lies blatantly, waiting for them to be rescued and for the war to start. But the rescue never comes.

After the fourth or fifth day of this, Dooku realizes that if Palpatine managed to mess up such a simple plan, it might not be a good idea to follow his orders. He defects, exchanging everything he knows (which is quite a lot) for amnesty. Obi-Wan agrees to the trade, and the three of them escape Geonosis to go face down Palpatine.

Anakin is predictably furious about this. He doesn’t believe Dooku, of course, and he’s raring to kill the guy, but he’s also pretty sure he can’t take on both Obi-Wan and Dooku and win, so he waits until they get to Coruscant to comm the council. (Dooku lets him do it. The backup will be useful and he thinks he can time it so Sidious is throwing Force lightning at them when Yoda shows up.) (He can totally time it right.)

Yoda shows up just as Palpatine whips out a red lightsaber, since Dooku went straight for the beheading without letting him talk, and Obi-Wan was holding Anakin back to see what would happen. Palpatine could have beaten each of them on their own, probably even two at once, provided Dooku and Yoda didn’t team up— but against Anakin, who could probably vaporize someone with his mind if he tried hard enough, Yoda, who’s seven hundred years old and still wins the jedi parkour championships every year, Dooku, who’s the best duelist the Order has seen in a long while, and Obi-Wan, who, while not space jesus, a prodigy, or seven hundred years old, is no slouch in any jedi department, especially the ones that involve keeping Anakin from doing anything stupid? Yeah, Palpatine loses.

They all stumble into Kit’s Artisan Carpets an hour later, smelling of ozone and repressed emotions just waiting to come out. Kit looks at them all, makes a pot of tea, settles Anakin at his usual carpet-task doing place for some much needed meditation, and locks them in the room to talk.

“So,” Dooku says to Kit the next morning, once they’ve sorted all the politics and some of the emotions out, “what possessed you to take up carpets?”

Kit tilts his head, considering, and answers. “I just felt like it.”

(”Really?” Nahdar asks later. “You’re not going to tell them?”

“Well,” Kit replies, “would they believe me?”

“I guess not,” Nahdar says, “but time travel is hard to believe in.”

“It was more of a vision, really.” Kit huffs. “Besides, I did feel like it. Getting stabbed gives one new priorities.”

“Tell me about it,” Nahdar agrees. “Tell me about it.”)

#this happened because of that one post where a bot took over the kitfisto url to sell carpets #and apparently that concept was an irresistible temptation for me #that likely surprises no one but me #star wars #star wars au #kit fisto: carpet artisan au #willow's aus #kit fisto #star wars fix it au #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #count dooku

235 notes · View notes

siennahrobek · 4 years ago

Text

I had so many ideas on what to write about today but I was scrolling through the Obi-Wan tag during my break and I came across a huge post that had been baffled and a bit crazed. It was labeled about forgiveness and mercy and such but it was like a huge insanely interpreted post about the Jedi Order and some of the characters. Of course I wasn't about to start any sort of argument (and wow was the post long) but I just had to write something, at least, in my own post, unconnected with theirs. I guess this is a reaction and buckle up cause it seems like this is going to be a long one. I have a lot to say and I'm not gonna stop being all anxious about it until I do but uh....

I'm sorry, did we watch the same movies?

They go through a lot of movies and completely do a opposite take on the Jedi; how they are "unattached" (I say this because there are so many misconceptions about the word) and celibate (which we know isn't actually true) and how Anakin becomes living proof why this attitude is wrong.

First of all, it's not an attitude; it is a way of life. One that has worked for thousands of people over millennia. Second; their point WAS proven. Anakin turned to the dark side and became a sith. He committed genocide after genocide (the Jedi, Mandalore, Alderaan, Lasan etc.) and in the end, he only turned back because of his son. Which, may seem good on the surface, but it only goes to show how no other children or people that he murdered actually mattered, it was only his blood child that did. But that's not where I'm going. You don't actually see him regret doing the countless things he has done (probably because he dies) and he only does this because of his blood son. It, for me, gives the impression that blood means everything.

Anyways, there is quite a bit of talk about Obi-Wan and honestly? It is all not good. I'm not blind to Obi-Wan's faults but in general? He is a really good person; he tries so hard and goes through so much and is ugh, always trying. Obi-Wan shows no understanding? What? What? Did we watch the same movie? I mean it has been a while since I have watched Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith (they hurt my heart because ugh) but that is NOT what I remember. I remember Obi-Wan teasing Anakin gently to get his mind off of his anxieties when they were going to see Padme again. I remember Obi-Wan saying "dude don't be a horny teenager" (not in those words obviously, but that was essentially the message). I remember him literally parenting and teaching him - like he's supposed to do. I remember him trusting Anakin to do the right thing and to protect the Senator alone, by himself. I remember Anakin saying he's been having dreams - not visions or anything and nothing specific, just about his mom - and Obi-Wan going "it's alright dude, those pass in time". I mean everyone has DREAMS, that's not beholden to force-sensitives. My dreams sure as heck don't mean anything. Just cause he is a Jedi and COULD have visions, does not mean they are. And he didn't tell Obi-Wan they were visions, he literally says dreams.

(this is about the time that I wish I could work with gifs and understand them)

Anakin is not stronger than Obi-Wan; I mean, really? Sure, more powerful? I guess? But let's go back. Who beats who on Mustafar? Obi-Wan. Who does NOT murder a bunch of children and turn to the dark side? Obi-Wan. Literally, sure, he's more "powerful" with the Force, because I guess that is the whole point but he's not stronger or wiser than Obi-Wan because as Captain Rex said "experience outranks everything" and man, does Obi-Wan have a lot of that.

Let's take a break and go to Shmi. They claim that her death is a dark page in the Jedi's book. I mean, w-what? How can you possibly blame the Jedi for Shmi's death? For not freeing her? Did Qui-Gon even tell the Council that Anakin was a slave? I don't remember, honestly. But still, she ended up freed and married to a man she fell in love with. And if I remember correctly, someone was sent (by Padme maybe? to free her but she was already gone to the Lars' by that point).

Okay, I know it sounds like I am reacting to a post and well I am I suppose. But like, this post is literally blaming the Jedi for Shmi's death and how they did not offer Anakin compassion. And then just to say that it is bothersome how Anakin was solely blamed. Uh, because he was a the perpetrator! How can you possibly justify the MURDER of children. Even though it not the Jedi way, I could understand, sort of, if he went after the people that hurt his mother specifically; probably some of the men/warriors/adults. But the babies? The children? You can literally not justify that. And to blame the Jedi Order and Obi-Wan for not "taking his nightmares seriously?" Are you serious? Anakin mentioned the dream (DREAM) once in passing, there is no indication that he said that she was in danger or that this was a vision. And visions are known to be notoriously unreliable! Not to mention, the Council is responsible for the Jedi as a whole - that is thousands of people.

Alright, now to the war.

There was a claim that throughout the war, the Jedi became more and more aloof, intolerant and unforgiving and determined to win despite the suffering of the people.

What. The. Krutack.

I will include the Clone Wars series, since it was directly referenced in response. Once again, did we watch the same show? Because I'm pretty sure that virtually the whole point of the show, aside from showing us horrible things the CIS did and the individuality of the clones, was the compassion and kindness of the Jedi. How they fought to protect as many people as they could. They were dying alongside the clones. Does anyone remember how kind and caring the Jedi were when they came across civilians. Do you remember how Obi-Wan literally carried and protected with his own body the little Twielek girl, Numa, on Ryloth? Does anyone remember how many NON-Republic planets they helped? I remember them helping even CIS senators and planets that had no ties to the Republic. They helped Mandalore even when they were not part of the Republic. The vast majority of Jedi are shown protecting not only citizens but the clones as well. They are on the front lines - not hidden behind a desk (although some are and that is necessary - tactics and strategy people) and trying to save as many lives as they can, even if it costs them. They inspire creativity and individuality in the clones - this is literally a thing. I could go on and on and on.

Okay, on to Revenge of the Sith - the sadness that will probably haunt my heart forever. We will start with Dooku; specifically when Palpatine tells Anakin to kill him and that he deserves it; it is revenge for cutting off his and whatever. And this, this, post asks if this is an act of mercy for the guy kneeling in front of him (and tells him Obi-Wan later denies him) and like, what? How in the world is that mercy? He murders a defenseless man. Sure, he is the enemy and he is a criminal but he is supposed to stand trial (not to mention all the intelligence Dooku could possible give to help win the war) which is incredibly ironic, considering later, Anakin screams at Mace Windu telling him Palpatine should stand trial (even though he is much more dangerous and more of a threat than Dooku). This is not mercy. This is a handless, defenseless (although evil) man who Anakin does actually kill. It is not mercy.

Anakin has dreams about Padme; similar to his mother. You would think he would have learned his lesson and confided in someone by telling them what was actually happening. Anakin once again, DOES NOT give Yoda any specifics, just that he fears someone he is close to will die. It is claimed that he is lacking empathy and compassion to Anakin's dilemma. WHAT DILEMMA? Anakin won't tell anyone anything that could actually help. What Yoda says is true; like "dude, people die and you have to move on from that. You cannot stop death and you cannot let this fear control you. You have to let go" which is a completely reasonable thing; I mean, hello - grief counseling anyone? Yoda probably thought he was talking about Obi-Wan - who was off on a very dangerous mission against a cyborg that had killed many Jedi and padawans; this seems like a very normal fear. Whether or not Yoda says this in the right way is not really relevant; Anakin knows that he has to let go of what he fears to lose because eventually, no matter what, he will lose it. NOTHING is permanent. Now if Anakin had specified he was having what he thought were visions and the actual person in them, I'm sure Yoda would have said things differently and probably helped him.

(Also, did Padme get any real health care or like??? Was it too much of a secret???)

(The genocide of the people in the Temple is conveniently glossed through with bare mention)

and then Mustafar. Contrary to Padme (apparently) Obi-Wan shows no clemency. ANAKIN MURDERED THE ELDERLY, THE SICK/INJURED AND BABIES in the temple. Not warriors, not even full grown men and women (some would be full grown but all the able bodied were probably out in the war trying to defend the universe). He should NOT be granted clemency. Anyone else would probably have been executed for this direct horrifying act. But they seem to gloss over how Obi-Wan is always on the defensive, not really because Anakin is more overpowering (And Obi-Wan does use a defensive style, Soresu) but because he is trying to give Anakin time to chill out and come to his senses. That is literally how the choreography was designed.

And Obi-Wan's last words were? Harsh? What? If I remember correctly, Obi-Wan says something like "You were supposed to destroy the Sith not join them" and when Anakin screams he hates Obi-Wan, the return is "you were my brother, Anakin, I loved you."

That is heart-breaking and sad, not harsh. How can you look at Obi-Wan's face in this scene and call that harsh? How can your heart not break for him?!

Say what you will about Obi-Wan leaving Anakin without "finishing him off". Whether or not this is a mercy, whatever. First, we needed a reason for Vader to be in the suit. Second, Anakin was unarmed; Obi-Wan doesn't go around killing unarmed enemies, much less loved ones. (Hello, the slaver from the series, anyone? He didn't kill him; it is against his beliefs. Rex killed him). Can you even imagine how Obi-Wan was feeling? How could he possibly kill his brother? Like, I have so many feelings and not enough words ahdkjgkjgjkf. Anakin does suffer and Obi-Wan has no reason to believe that Anakin would survive his injuries. Furthermore, if I remember correctly, Palpatine ship was coming? Also, Obi-Wan had to get to Padme - she was injured and more of a priority. Because she is someone he can try to save - Anakin is long gone - in more ways than one.

Although it claimed that they are not denying the terrible things Anakin has done; that is almost kind of what they are doing. They are literally putting Anakin's choices and agency to the fault of the Jedi - not just individuals but the culture and people. It is literally gone on to say that if he had left with his wife, the worst could have been avoided. What was the worst?

Oh, a mass murderer got his legs cut off and accidently burned alive. Uhm, okay, that sucks but you do realize he committed genocide of his entire family right? And he choked his wife into unconsciousness.

I can't even with humans.

There is not even a note to Palpatine and how he manipulated Anakin for years. No blame at all on the man we need to blame the most - they put all the blame on the Jedi which just. Blows my mind.

The Clone Wars proved there was no right choice for the Jedi - they were doomed to fall. Not because of anything they did - they did everything they could - but because of Palpatine's plans and schemes. I will never, ever agree that the Jedi failed because of themselves. I do not think that the "institution" was destined to fall ( that "institution" lasted for longer than the Republic). The Jedi were trying so hard - they were kind and good and compassionate and trying so hard for peace and saving as many lives as they could. The Sith were evil. The CIS was evil. The Senate was corrupt. And the Jedi were trying.

There is so much Jedi-blaming for Anakin's attitude, disposition and choices it is literally driving me insane. Why did I do this to myself?

Things delve into a New Hope and immediately there is bashing of the jedi; where Obi-Wan cuts some guy's arm off at a Cantina and Obi- Wan "lying" that Vader killed Anakin. Which, honestly, I could see that being true. Him being Anakin's murderer, at least. Vader may have Anakin's body but even he claims that he killed Anakin Skywalker. Anakin, at least, how he thought he was, was loyal and passionate and loving - or at least he tried to be. Vader is literally none of these things; there is very little of "Anakin" in Vader. And at first glance, it may seem that Obi-Wan and Yoda are setting Luke up to kill "his father" but honestly, I see it more as preparing him to fight Vader and kill him, if necessary. It's a horrible thing, but they do not outright say anything. And honestly, they were right. Vader is willing to kill Luke - he cuts off his hand and fights him. Okay, I have so much to say about this but that is for another time; i will digress about this particular point (of lying and such)

Luke, apparently, decides to forgive Vader and show him mercy (which is claimed the Jedi and Obi-Wan NEVER did for Anakin, no matter what he did for them which is such BS I'm virtually crying rn)

There is a lengthy talk about Luke trying to rebuild the Jedi culture and how it crushed him, his contrast with Obi-Wan's attitude and shame(?) and how trying to be a Jedi has caused him to fail. Because apparently Luke is the only one who apologized and that makes him different I guess? (How many times has Obi-Wan apologized and thought things were his fault even though they weren't?)

I won't get into the Sequel Trilogy because honestly, it does very little to interest me. I am mostly a Prequel- era person mostly because I love Obi-Wan and the strength and compassion of his character. Finn seemed really interesting to me and man I thought having a female Jedi character would be really great - we had some fantastic female Jedi such as Ahsoka, Shaak Tii, Depa Billaba and so many more - but they were rarely the focus and I thought it would be fun. But, I was a bit disappointed because killing off Han Solo the way they did? Eh. Didn't care for it. I was also in the era of Mara Jade, Jacen and Jaina Solo, Anakin Solo and Ben Skywalker (Luke's son) so perhaps I was a little bias. I didn't really understand why Leia and Han would name their child after someone that they didn't really know (although I do have a headcanon concerning Leia and Obi-Wan which I find hilarious that I love).

I didn't particularly care for the Sequel Trilogy. They made it a Skywalker show and they did an emphasis on romantic love and from what I recall from what I have watched, the majority of the characters weren't nearly as interesting or compelling to me. And then bringing Palpatine back, sighs. Why does it always come back to him? That is just exhausting.

I'm not hating on the Sequels; everyone is allowed to like things or whatever. I just didn't; they focused so much on Rey and Kylo Ren (who I actually have a bit of an opinion on but I won't right now) instead of the more intriguing characters. I would have been much more interested in Finn as a Jedi. To overcome what he has been through as a stormtrooper and becoming a Jedi would be a really interesting story. I didn't care for how they handled Luke. And I didn't like how Rey apparently became a master so fast without any real training? Even Anakin, the Chosen One, the most powerful force-wielder, had ten years of training under Obi-Wan and the Jedi. That stuff doesn't just...come; you learn it.

I wrote more about the Sequel Trilogy than I care too. I suppose this is a rather reaction post but wow; I felt like me and this person had watched two separate movie trilogy/shows. It boggles my mind on how people can get the opposite of something that was so clearly shown. I hope I didn't upset anyone too bad. I'm not hear to start a fight, just to get out some feelings.

I wrote this all instead of homework that I desperately need to do. Sighs.

I need to go through my likes and read some good Jedi content cause man, that, that was hard.

59 notes · View notes