#had to dig for my words
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Hiya, did you miss me? Because I have returned to suck out more world building from your brain.
Question 1: Egg.
I am almost certain about what the answer will be, but I'm gonna ask it anyways.
Where do the pokébabies come from? Do they follow the same rules as our world?
Question 2: What's Arceus' IQ (the answer is "yes")
This is kind of a follow up to my Pokéspeak question. In its answer, you spoke about Red's Alakazam, Pythagoras, being able to use sign language. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that that was inspired by Washoe the Chimpanzee. WIth most of Red's mons knowing some sign language.
Relevant Exposition: Pokemon in the anime are mostly at a level of intelligence/demeanor where you could genuinely model swap them with a human and have there be no difference and vice versa (like what you did with your April Fool's post) the prime example is this one [IMAGE-ID: A snapshot from the first season of the pokemon anime. In the scene, an Eevee is seen holding a cup of what looks like juice.]
The question: Is this level of pokemon intelligence/demeanor still present in your world, and if so, where would the line be drawn between human/gijinka-replaceable and actual animal.
Question 3: Programing.
This one is a simple question with a less than simple answer.
How do Game mechanics like Base Power, PP, EV's, IV's, Base stats, Accuracy, and Most importantly: Stat Boosts work in genesis?
Question 1: Eggs Yeah, the whole egg thing I'm throwing out the window as a game mechanic designed to avoid having to explain the birds and the bees in a video game that's marketed at children. If it lays an egg in our world, it still lays an egg. But if there's live birth here, then it's live birth in the world of Genesis.
this now brings to mind, do the people in pokemon games have eggs suddenly appear too?
Question 2: Pokemon Intelligence and Language It varies a little bit on the pokemon individual, tbh. Some are better at picking certain things up than others.
I've heard of several instances of not just our great ape cousins learning to speak sign language, but also some species birds and I think there was a whale that figured out human speech? But that last one might have been more mimicry than actual language comprehension and also brings in the physical capabilities of each pokemon species and their ability to transcend the pokemon/human language barriers. I've also seen several videos of people with big mats covered in buttons for their pets to convey wants and needs to their owners, which the pets do use!
As for swapping out pokemon for people level of swap, the answer is not quite. The April Fool's joke page was just that; a joke. I mostly ignore the anime bc I was not allowed to watch it growing up, plus there's a lot of weird things that don't follow the game rules. But for a long time, as we've underestimated the intelligence of animals in our world, so too have people underestimated the intelligence of pokemon and it's a widely studied subject nowadays.
Question 3: Programming I'm going to be honest, the most I understood about things like EVs and IVs is that number go and number go up when level up. I'm a competitive player's nightmare in that no matter how many times I've tried to learn what these things do, it will not stick in my brain so I'm just, ignoring it in Genesis :'D
As for some of the other stuff, I've actually shown PP running out in comic before:
and Aiden running out of PP is also why he passed out during the battle with the champion squad, ending that fight (iirc I did run him out of moves in-game and he was using Struggle)
For stat boosts, it kind of depends on what I narratively need to happen. We've seen 2 kinds of Barrier; the glowing sheets that Aiden uses, and the blue bubbles that Prime uses (the differences are mostly personal preference). They're physical barriers that block attacks.
Some other instances of stat boosts we've seen are
Light screen
String shot
Will-o-wisp
Me First
Calm mind
and a few others scattered throughout the comic. I mostly go with the in-game text that explains what the move does and find a way to translate it into a visual representation, to show the readers that something happened.
#comic ask#long post#thebulletbot#worldbuilding#world building#stumped me real good on this one for a bit lol#had to dig for my words
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okay so steph is definitely a music purist?
we can all agree on that right? like she's a 'said she was born in the wrong generation in middle school' fleetwood mac, david bowie, the mamas & the papas, niche modern indie artists and also chappell roan kind of music listener. obviously. but.... i dont think we've really considered pete's music taste?
pete, who is a science, left-brained kind of kid, so he probably does not actively go out to look for music and is instead just provided music by the people around him?
pete whose older brother is theodore spankoffski and so his earliest and most fond and nostalgic music influences from his childhood would have come directly from ted's cd collection???
basically what im saying is peter spankoffski has the most trashy, early 00's ke$ha, black eyed peas my humps era, all american rejects ass music taste in the world
that boy had bowling for soup's 1985 memorized at age four, his guilty pleasure music is hollywood undead's everywhere i go, ted did his first decent person move in years when pete came out as trans as a kid and stopped listening to grow a pear by ke$ha and pete forcibly made him play it because it's a bop
and then his only friends are a weeb and a theatre kid.
steph gives him the aux cord on a date to be nice, as a sign of trust, and is blasted in the face with the most uncurated mess of j-pop, sondheim, weezer, and like... owl city's fireflies and that's just a fact
#I must clarify this isn’t a dig at any of these songs they all fuck#my source is im a youngest child with a decently older brother and all of my nostalgic music is literally this#my mom had to force my brother to limit what songs he played around me because I was six years old and started saying the word hoe a lot#peter spankoffski#also my hc is Pete is teds full brother so their parents are just Old and Pete stood NO chance#he grew up around Dickhead Era Ted and a dad who forced him to name classic rock bands when they came on the radio#and also my source is my music taste is also the peoples around me because im bad at finding music#nerdy prudes must die#stephanie lauter#starkid#lautski#he also probably really likes train
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Hallo mein Name ist Ebenholz Dunkel'heit Demenz Raben Weg und ich habe langes ebenholz-schwarzes Haar (so habe ich meinen Namen gekriegt) mit lila Strähnen und roten Spitzen das bis zur Mitte meines Rückens geht und eisblaue Augen wie durchsichtige Tränen und viele Leute sagen mir, dass ich wie Alma Unterwindseite aussehe (A. d. A.: wenn du nich weist wer sie ist dann verpiss dich von hier!). Ich bin nicht mit Gerhard Weg verwandt, aber ich wünschte ich wäre es, weil er ein verdammt heißer Feger ist. Ich bin ein Vampir, aber meine Zähne sind gerade und weiß. Ich habe blasse weiße Haut. Ich bin auch eine Hexe, und ich gehe auf eine Zauberschule namens Schweinwarzen in England, wo ich in der siebten Jahrgangsstufe bin (ich bin siebzehn). Ich bin ein Grufti (falls das euch nicht klar war) und ich trage vor allem schwarz. Ich liebe Heißes Thema und kaufe dort alle meine Klamotten. Heute zum Beispiel trug ich ein schwarzes Korsett mit passender Spitze drum herum und einen schwarzen Leder-Minirock, rosa Netzstrümpfe und schwarze Springerstiefel. Ich trug schwarzen Lippenstift, weiße Grundierung, schwarzen Augenkonturenstift und roten Lidschatten. Ich ging aus Schweinwarzen raus. Es schneite und regnete, also war keine Sonne da, worüber ich sehr glücklich war. Viele Popper starrten mich an. Ich zeigte ihnen den Stinkefinger.
#my only contribution to#speak your language day#enjoy#spyld#german#german stuff#deutsch#deutsches zeug#scheißpfosten#my immortal#...mein unsterbliches???#i deliberately went for the most german words i could find. like i'm the german academie française#ive never heard anyone say 'augenkonturenstift' for eyeliner before but i found it on google and its annoyingly german soooo#translating 'preps' was surprisingly difficult so i had to do some digging. the popper subculture is from the 80s so not quite the right#time period but in terms of fashion and general attitude they were actually really similar to american preps#love how i'm annotating this like it's an academic translation and not a silly shitpost
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whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!
this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!
warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her.
So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak.
You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work
you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then
nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place.
On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after
it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him.
but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening.
its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail.
Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn
its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench.
there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency.
when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-
all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river
Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay
“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.”
he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself.
but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything
its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found.
Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there.
Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames.
“We’re gonna find her, but not there.”
So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did.
He became a smuggler because of it.
Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way.
But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course.
The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him.
But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles
“You think she would have wanted this for you?”
the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence.
“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.”
All he can do is nod.
It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit.
It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live.
Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago.
its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo”
when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them.
Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands.
He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face.
Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity.
“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?”
Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be.
But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.
“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.”
Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again.
“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.”
He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples.
“One.”
The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun.
“Two”
Wait. No, they both do.
“Three.”
Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins.
“Four.”
Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet.
Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?”
Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless.
Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.
When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same.
She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head.
“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”
He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun.
“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?”
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#i had an idea of something similar for tommy but on outbreak night he uh. abandons you instead of getting separated from you#because. angst :D#people say nice things#this was incredibly generous of you anon thank you so so much!#i may get myself a little starbucks drink this week now because I havent had starbucks since like january 1st lol#joel reeling from taking in all this information and also realizing he suckerpunched HIS OWN KID#id like to apologize for all the grammatical issues with this. this is just a bulletpoint word vomit to get my thoughts on the page before-#-beginning the actual fic. also I have to do a midterm tonight and this is my treat to myself hehe#but yes. joel getting separated from his wife on outbreak night and having to accept that shes probably dead#meanwhile youve lived this entire life without him because you think HES dead ad raising your boys all on your own#which just- further digs into his insecurities about failing in his role as a protector#he couldn't save sarah. he can't save ellie and he couldn't even save you#he thinks about you pregnant and alone. fending for yourself in a world full of infected and raiders and his chest grows tight again#this is all followed by Ellie going >:O 'you KNOW THIS PSYCHO?'and then joel immediately snapping at her to WATCH HER MOUTH#because that kid has no filter and he has to explain that youre his wife#anyways joels wife is a badass mfer who also maybe has a little garden and some chickens that you and your boys take care of <3 yeah .#reunion tag#ill be using that for this specific couple because I dont have a fic title yet but if anybody has suggestions!
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thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage
you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out
"i'm calling shepherd"
his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books; to go up the chain and sort it out democratically. that goes against everything we've seen him do; he’s quick to drop his enemies and bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns
he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer
there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends
nothing's happened yet
it doesn't have to go this way
but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy
he doesn't hesitate
it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from
only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat
and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for
"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"
he's learned the price of trust
just like ghost did
but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath
"good advice, It"
#i might crown myself the ceo of soap meta at this point i love digging into this boy#but it seriously fucks me up how much he tries to de escalate the situation#invoking shepherd like hes trying to remind graves of who funds him and the power he holds#the consequences he’ll face if he goes through with this. just stop and think it through first#only to be stricken silent when graves drops ‘general shepherd sends his regards’#he doesnt say a single word after that#ghosts the one who picks up the lead for him ‘he knows about this?’#he can still function through his shock and the gut wrenching betrayal bc he’s been through this before#and he knows freezing will get him killed#but soap doesnt#he freezes#getting shot is something he wouldve been through before but being shot by an ally?#at that moment he isnt sergeant mactavish#hes johnny and hes in shock#and thats why ghost yelling for johnny doesnt reach him#he only breaks through when he calls him soap. when hes forced back into a soldiers mindset#thats all thats keeping him going. he isnt johnny a man whos been betrayed by a friend#hes a soldier following direct orders to keep himself alive#i can only imagine the after#when he lets his rage run out and is faced with the vulnerable and painful betrayal#but ghosts there to help him through that too. there for johnny the way he wished someone had been there for him#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#cod mw2#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#soapghost
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history repeats itself you can't give them lava brennan they'll just knock ppl into the lava
#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#fantasy high#the amount of trouble I had to go through to dig up this fucking post bc twitter is fucking broken#advanced search -> find zac's post -> find quote retweets -> scroll down to mine#(after advanced search wouldn't turn up my post no matter the search query#((actually I'm now realising why it didn't work I didn't account for me *TAGGING* brennan rather than just writing his name smh#(gosh remember twitter remember just fucking tagging ppl in your posts abt them crazy times)#and cause apparently it doesn't look for the words in the retweeted post only in your comment -.-#wait no cause I also tried to just look for posts within the time frame in question on my acc and it didn't show this it'S FUCKING BROKEN))#and literally just scrolling back to 2019 on my own acc didn't work cause it just *STOPS* in 2020 sometime)
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Transcript under the cut:
Panel 1 Investigator (left): Look, Mrs. Oserisades- Ath Velan ket'Oserisades (right): Call me Velan. Investigator: Um, Mrs. Velan. We're pretty sure we have a link to your clan and Investigator: um Investigator: notorious pirates. Velan: My, that's an embarrassing mistake for the EBC's tax offices to make. Velan: A waste of both our time, really. Investigator: Not so- Velan: I guarantee it is. Investigator: Look, your paperwork seems clean, but- Velan: Because my clan has done nothing. Velan: Have some tea. text by Velan's ankles: shoes off means she can transform very quickly - prepared for violence! Velan's stool: chest full of extremely incriminating records Card at the top: The notorious pirates in question left the Oserisades camp 20 minutes ago. Non-card text at the top: Ath: A title, indicating the leader of a dragon clan. The EBC: The Ever-Burning City, a city-state with a military-meritocracy & a monarchy slowly trying to grab at more and more land for the last 40-odd years. Very serious about both piracy and tax fraud (Velan is involved in both).
Panel 2 Investigator: With respect, Mrs. Oserisades- Velan: Ath. Investigator: What? Velan: My title is Ath ket'Oserisades. Investigator: Mrs. Oserisades. Investigator: I know that you've done it. Investigator: I just need to prove it.
Panel 3 Velan: Hmm. Velan: Color me concerned. Velan: But it sounds like Velan: and do correct me if I'm wrong Velan: it sounds like you have no actual proof.
Panel 5 Velan: Don't worry, kid. Velan: We're all wrong sometimes, ha ha. Velan: I can tell you have a lot of passion. Velan: You'll make a great investigator someday. Velan: You should drink your tea. bottom card: End.
#oc#velan#comic#velan ket'oserisades#commission#words cannot express how delighted i was to get to draw my ocs FOR A COMMISSION. Like actually#the other idea im gonna do for the same commissioner also sounds really really fun and im really excited#its not doing what i had hoped (motivating me to stop procrastinating on a report due wednesday by drawing by giving me drawings i#dont particularly want to do before i can draw for myself) but it's really really fun so i cannot complain lmfao#anyway velan is in fact doing tax fraud. and consorting with pirates. and she is in fact sincere in terms of Great Investigator comment#but it's still put like a dig because. well. this investigator is being rude as hell. so fuck off
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s5 episode 20 thoughts
last episode of the season!!!
things have seemed… tense lately between my best friends mulder and scully. i hope they can work it out.
anyway, it says here that there is a boy with psychic powers… another child case. they deal with these so often!!!
but maybe he can unlock the secrets of the x files?? how?? i guess i will have to tune in!
post-episode thoughts: scully, i want to hug you. CSM, count your days. destroying information is a crime in my realm, and it will be punished with banishment. mulder, you need to learn how to talk about your feelings. i am no longer suggesting this politely. it must be done. now. skinner, you are the star on top of my metaphorical christmas tree. spender, my feelings towards you are pretty neutral.
we begin in vancouver, where a chess tournament is going on between a grown man and a child. there is a very large crowd and a guy who seems to be up to no good in the ceiling.
the kid hears voices in his head as this sniper loads up a bullet… can he figure out what is about to happen?? but the voices just sound like weird noises!!!
noooo, don’t kill this little boy!!! he wins just in time, stands up, and the bullet hits the other guy!!!
so he knew it was going to happen and won just in time to stand up…
leave this little boy alone!! don’t piss me off!!!
OHHH shortened intro AND new words on the screen today… “THE END” <- now there is a movie coming up shortly so i KNOW this is a lie!!!
i am preparing myself for some sort of cliffhanger….
ohohoho kryek is here today, according to the “guest starting” list…. getting ready for some rat-like activities
CSM is buttoning up his shirt as some people arrive upon his frosty property. they have guns… and his alarms are going off…
BLAM! he shoots one man dead right then and there!! you really cannot underestimate this guy!!! unless we’re talking about his abilities to write fiction!!!
so he’s running barefoot into the snow??? yowch! bloody feet!
the guy in the mask catches him! OH SHIT! IT’S KRYCEK!! “go on! take your shot, alex” <- HOT DAMN! not the first name usage!
he says he was sent to being CSM back…….. by whomst?
there is a sticky note on mulder’s poster. i can’t tell what it says!
OH mulder has a picture of him and scully pinned to his board🥹that's fine that's super fine and i'm not gonna cry!
it’s skinner poking around their office!!! what is he doing down here??
HE WANTS TO KNOW MULDER’S LONG TERM PLANS?! and mulder says they’re right in his hands, referring to the x files
skinner loves his most special and difficult agents. it's true!
“what do you hope to find? i mean, in the end” (mulder looks at skinner suspiciously) “whatever i hope to find is in here. and maybe i’ll know when i find it”
now what is going on…..? something is afoot. somehow i doubt skinner just got randomly curious and started reading through the x files for the funsies.
skinner has a case for him: the assassination of a russian chess player. and agent spender was put in charge of the case by someone from OUTSIDE the bureau!! oh, that must be what has skinner so freaked out. who tf is just putting people in charge of cases?
(i mean, we, the audience, know the answer to this. but if i were skinner, i would be deeply uncomfy at the thought)
“he was very specific that you be excluded” (mulder smiles) lmaoooo
skinner's messy for that!!! and i giggled!!!
BAHAHA scully is in the room listening to spender debrief, and when mulder walks in, spender looks SO mad!! “please continue”, mulder says, after spender gets so caught off guard by seeing him that he literally cannot finish his sentence
you can try to separate mulder and scully, but the universe will find a way to reunite them. like a bonded pair of kitties.
mulder asks him to rewind the tape and spender says basically no LMAOOO
“let me get through this, if you have any questions, we can talk later” “i-i don’t have any questions, no, i just think you’re wrong” <- LMAOOOOOO i’m at once giggling and cringing in second hand embarrassment
mulder hates this dude, i'm crying!!!!
scully asks wtf mulder is doing, and he explains he thinks the killer was aiming for the boy!! spender reluctantly does rewind the tape, and mulder points out that the kid pushes back right before the bullet is fired.
who is this random lady agreeing with mulder that the kid could sense the bullet coming…? he looks utterly shocked to hear her say this!!
and skinner says rewind it again so we can all see for ourselves LMAO everyone hates this spender mfer
(listen. sorry to this man, but i think it would also piss me off if some random guy got put in charge of an investigation because outside forces decreed it to be so)
sure enough, when spender rewinds the tape, the kid looks right at the camera!!! mulder turns to this random woman again in amazement
meanwhile, krycek is bringing CSM back to the syndicate on a random side street. OH SHIT!! CSM calls them out right then and there for trying to kill him LMAOOO
that had to be awkward as hell! i'm giggling
CSM moves on from that pretty fast. he seems like the type to hold grudges, so perhaps this is part of his secret plot for revenge.
the well-groomed man (and i know that isn’t his name, but i can’t remember what it actually is, and when i tried to google it last time i got spoilers so: to me, he is WGM) says: the boy is a problem to us!! and i say: leave him alone!! let him play chess!!
CSM offers to kill the kid and well-groomed man says “dear god”... umm, well y’all were just trying to do that, so why now are we getting squeamish...!!!
this other dude is called “first elder” by the subtitles! good to know
CSM says he’ll do it… and walks off.
so this lady that was sticking up for mulder is named agent fowley, and scully is making polite small talk as mulder drives them... somewhere. she requested reassignment. hmm…
“1991, that’s about when you started work on the x files”, scully points out. “more or less, yeah”, mulder says. and does not elaborate.
(long lingering eye contact between mulder and fowley)
now… is this woman who i think she is……?
the boy (named gibson) is watching the simpsons. OH SHIT!!! “my name is fox… this is dana and diana”
SHE IS WHO I THOUGHT SHE WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh man. oh man. okay, so i know a tiny bit about this. going bonkers rn.
what i DO know is enough to realize that diana is a controversial topic among the fandom, but i vow to speak my truth. as i always do. and i hope you will treat me with the grace you typically have afforded me.
gibson says he lives in the philippines, that mulder has a dirty mind, and he does NOT want to play any chess. yes, he truly is a psychic.
scully is like wtf is he going on about…. and mulder accuses the boy of being able to read minds
“i know what’s on your mind. i know you’re thinking about one of the girls you brought” (mildly amused scully look) “one of them’s thinking about you”
diana laughs and asks which one… gibson says mulder doesn’t want him to say.
(shakes head) hey! what’s going on?
mulder declares that gibson needs around the clock protection
oh, a canon-typical fight in the hallway between our agents on if this is possible or not… diana is listening in…. “you know what to do, diana”, mulder says before leaving <- hey. i don’t like that. the tone with which he speaks nor the implication of there being some pre-scully lilith-like figure.
“so you two know each other”, scully points out. “it was along time ago” (long lingering scully glance)
OHHHH spender is NOT letting mulder talk to the assassin… “you’re insulting me when you should be taking notes”, he says <- DAMN!!! the ego on this man! he isn't entirely wrong, but there is no humility about him!
he pushes past spender and gets into the cell, where the shooter claims spender hasn’t given him food or water. mulder orders him off to go get some.
ohhh he’s playing hardball… he tells the dude that he’ll tell spender he fessed up to the kid being psychic… and if he cooperates with him, maybe he can get him into the witness protection program… does mulder hold this kind of influence?
mulder steals the food that was being brought for him. mulder! you're being a dick! on many fronts!
AWWW, scully and gibson are holding hands as she walks him down the hall :( he didn’t like the tests! poor kid! and he says scully’s wondering about “that other girl” and “she’s wondering about you, too”
hey…. i get the sense we are pitting two bad bitches against each other via this little boy's mind reading. not a narrative choice i am fond of.
now a group of people are testing gibson for psychic abilities by holding up cards only they can see.
diana says she’s seen clairvoyants, but never of this skill level. she says she spent time with mulder is psychiatric hospitals?? scully.exe is not working
she has to leave because she is weirded tf out…
(i don't blame her, though. i would also be very weirded out if my partner of 5 years had another partner he very evidently has a history with and never bothered to mention until she suddenly materialized. if i were scully, i'd be like hey mulder... remember all those times i tended to your wounds and held your sobbing body and broke the law for you? yeah, that was super cool. i love how we trust each other. anyway, wtf else are you hiding from me?)
((and i'm not saying that is necessarily the RIGHT or RATIONAL thing to feel, but c'mon. you can't look at me and tell me you wouldn't also be equal parts stung and curious))
shooter guy is being handed a note. it’s on a cigarette pack!!! and it says "you’re a dead man"!!! oh brother... not the CSM on the loose! how is he getting into these buildings still?!?!
LMAOOO???? WHAT IS SCULLY DOING WITH FROHIKE?!?!
look at her looking up into his camera system... she is just so PRETTY!!
bro is in his pajamas and has an absurd number of locks on his door. and i'm giggling!
she’s bringing the whole crew scans of gibson’s brain!! “and you want us to what?” “analyze the data. with an eye to the parapsychological” <- OHHH they’re gagged by that... and i am too! scully opening herself up to extreme possibilities?! or simply trying to anticipate and counter mulder's argument in favor of the kid's clairvoyance?
OHHHH.... SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHO TF DIANA IS LMAOOOOO
i can’t tell if she’s jealous, or nosy, or both. but i can tell you that i love when scully is nosy.
frohike says she was mulder’s “chickadee” (LMAO, crazy phrasing) out of the academy. she was with him when he discovered the x files. and she has some sort of background in parascience. whatever that means.
NOOOOO scully looks so sad 💔💔💔 MULDER, DON’T HIDE THINGS FROM HER!!! SHE’LL CRY
stop. stop!!!
gibson is watching cartoons while diana watches him. and here comes mulder. OH, she called him fox. don’t like that. i thought he was adamantly anti-being referred to as fox! is that a development from the past 5 years, or does she not care about what he thinks?
“i sense you could have used an ally, though- someone who thinks like you, with some background” HEY. WATCH HOW YOU TALK ABOUT SCULLY!!!
“oh, you mean scully?” now is that defensiveness i see in his eyes? he doesn’t sound like he’s laughing.
“she’s not what i’d call an open mind on the subject” <- well, diana, you don’t even know her!!! and just because you're right doesn't mean you should go around judging her!
he laughs, but it doesn’t feel like he really means it….
(i was trying to psychoanalyze everything in this godforsaken scene and i had NO idea what the vibe actually was LMAOOOO)
“she’s a, uh… she’s a scientist. she just makes me work for everything” <- HEY!!! what happened to her being “rigid, but in a wonderful way”??? defend her honor in her absence!
“yes, but i’m… i’m sure there were times when two like minds on a case would have been advantageous” <- well girl, from what i've heard, it sounds like you left and went to germany!
“i’ve done okay without you” okay. are we setting boundaries now? is this progress?
NO. it does not appear that this is the case. she is grabbing his hand. “hey. i’m on your side” side eye. from me. sounds like she is implying scully is NOT on his side, which i loathe. and please don’t kiss... i don’t want to see all that.
where is scully going….? OH NO!!! she walked by and saw them holding hands!!
oh my god, she is leaving….. and i don’t blame her!!
the sad music!!!! stop!!!!! look at her sadly getting in her car!!!!! sadly staring at the wheel!!! sadly buckling up!!!!
she sounds like she’s going to cry as she calls mulder and says she wants to show him something. and she doesn't want to show it to him there.
now why is agent spender rolling up as she heads out?! we have enough problems to deal with at this time that aren’t him!!!
OH SHIT!!! CSM IS TALKING TO HIM!!!! saying he gave him the case!!!!
he’s trying to give him some fatherly advice despite the fact this dude has no idea they are related. “you’re a bright boy” okay… well that is certainly an avuncular thing to say. perhaps uncomfortably so when coming from a guy you literally just met. “know which men to sacrifice and when” <- now that's some standard CSM advice.
OH SHIT!!!!!!! MULDER SEES HIM!! CSM retreats into the shadows. “i was told he was dead”, mulder pants. “well obviously whoever it is, he’s not” spender has literally no idea who tf this guy is………..
(laughing even harder at his response as i edit my notes. spender must think this mulder fellow is the weirdest dude alive)
i’m kinda laughing, because spender has no idea wtf is going on, while mulder’s world just got rocked upside down and inside out. that’s the devil that killed his dad and took his scully and killed scully’s sister!!! he thought the evil was defeated and it is back!!! poor spender is just here to chat with a stranger. he truly doesn't know anything about the situation! it's comical!
scully and mulder and all of spender’s team are in skinner’s office!!! she has the brain test results from gibson… and she is finding the results hard to believe…
something something about him having intense brain activity in the god something or other. maybe he is the next einstein??? well, that would be cool! yeah, get the little boy into nuclear physics!
but mulder thinks that maybe this intense brain activity will allow him to also explain all sorts of unexplained phenomena.
i guess i can see the correlation between intense brain activity and psychic abilities, but how will it let him explore the jersey devil?
mulder proposes giving the killer immunity to explain wtf is going on, which spender immediately shoots down: “you want to give a murderer a free ride for the secrets to the pyramids?” <- well that is an oversimplification!
ANGRY SCULLY!!! “you mischaracterize what i’ve said” <- GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME!! “this would be quantifiable scientific proof of everything that agent mulder and i have investigated over the past five years”
i don’t really see the correlation from a plot perspective but okay ❤️ yay ❤️
oh diana, i am suspicious of you…. “how do you quantify the spiritual? it can’t be done. you ask for immunity for a killer on that basis, the attorney general’s gonna go off. you’re allowed to investigate the x files as an indulgence. but draw the wrong kind of attention and they’ll close you down”
okay………… rude. but not necessarily wrong. in fact, she seems quite right, at least about the attorney general shutting down the case part. clearly, some levels of spirituality can be quantified if the results show up on brain scans; scully will use science to find a way. scully glances at mulder, who is staring at diana
“put an end to all your work. something i happen to have an interest in myself” WELL NO ONE ASKED???? girl! it isn't your project!!
perhaps i am the one who will need immunity from the attorney general as i bravely ask the question i am thinking: am i bad feminist, or is diana supposed to piss me off?
scully’s watching mulder stare at diana……. skinner says, everyone go take a break. but you may absolutely NOT leave my office, mulder.
he says that diana is right. if they poke around too much they’ll get shut down- but mulder is willing to risk it!!!!!
“if what agent scully’s found is true- and i have every reason to believe that it is- then the answers i might have spent a lifetime searching for may fall together like a million puzzle pieces” <- OHH!! FAITH IN SCULLY!! FAITH IN SCULLY GIVING HIM THE TRUTH!
“you’d risk the x files?”, asks skinner.
“how soon can you call the attorney general?”
so, there is your answer.
mulder is always having some sort of power struggle with skinner. hey. can mulder, buddy. can we use a "please" and "thank you" every now and then? your old pal skinner has put up with a LOT of your nonsense!
bro is in his cranky era.
ohhhh, so he goes and tell the shooter that he gave his request for immunity, but the attorney general needs more information before she can make a decision… “i need answers from you” UH OH!! will he have them before CSM breaks in? because we know he is stalking his prey!
he says the kid is a missing link; he’s genetic proof. spender wants to know of what, and this is very convenient, because so do i. so he thinks the kid is part alien….. spender is heckling him for this. but CSM is on the prowl… we don't have time for interpersonal conflict!
(so, maybe he's part alien but distantly? or maybe they made one of the alien hybrids like emily, but this one didn't die? why did emily die, again? because we know there are plenty others of the alien hybrids because they had that whole bit about saving "their mothers" back in... i think it was s3? maybe a bunch of them, like emily, die, but some of them do survive, and gibson is a son of the half alien? so he is a quarter alien? or maybe he is from a different alien race?
everything is a bit foggy when it comes to mytharc, i suppose. i guess it all comes down to the writers wanting to torture my best friend agent scully)
well-groomed man and krycek pull up to heckle CSM, which is an important part of their job description. they’re saying he failed them, but CSM says it’s all part of the plan. take their pieces one by one.
hey, you’re gonna kill the kid, aren’t you?
at least JFK was a grown man!!!
do you think he bulk ordered the cigarettes from like, the cigarette equivalent of sam’s club, and had them sent to his snowy canadian hideaway? i mean, the number he goes through, it should have raised some red flags for the people trying to find him!
scully is watching the boy watch cartoons. she is pondering.
“how do you do it?” “i just hear you thinking… like on a radio. and sometimes there are lots of radios, and i want to shut them off and watch some TV” <- you know what, that is entirely understandably.
gibson says that scully doesn’t care what other people think… “except for her. the other one”
is she trying to impress diana…..? has she moved beyond vying for people's approval after the horrors of cancer and emily, or is it manifesting in a new way as she hopes this mysterious figure from mulder's past will approve of her? does she think that if diana likes her, mulder will let her in about his past? does she feel a solidarity despite their differences in belief because of the fact they are both women in a male-dominated field?
the implications... i must explore them.
ah. and in diana comes.
scully says they’ll talk about that stuff later. queen of knowing the time and place to have a debrief. and he says “they want to kill me” OHHH poor little gibson :( just let him watch cartoons!
scully promises no one will hurt him :( and he says “i know you do" :(
is diana going to kill the kid…..?
(author's note: LMAO!! listen... i thought they were going with the double agent angle for about 2 minutes. in my defense, i'm still shocked from the whole krycek and marita thing, so i'm trying to expect the unexpected. this is not the most wildly incorrect plot point i have guessed!)
the shooter gets another note… this time it’s an empty cigarette carton, and BAM!!! CSM SHOOTS HIM!!!
well. there goes any possibility of an explanation.
diana fell asleep watching gibson and he’s looking out the window!!! he says there’s a man with a gun!!! and he says he’s aiming at her!!!! and BAM!! she gets shot too!!
hey guys! once again i ask what’s going on.
mulder and scully are pulling in while diana gets taken into an ambulance. and mulder’s grasping her hand while scully just wants to know where tf the kid is!!!!
the shooter was killed!!! skinner shows mulder the cigarette carton!!!!!
NOOOO!! CSM has the boy and is bringing him to the well-groomed man. gibson called him a liar when he said he won't get hurt.
“you’ve never had the stomach for our business”
“just not for your practices”
“i’m a necessity. the complement to your cowardice” <- omggg……..
the dichotomy between CSM and well-groomed man... were the girls writing old man yaoi back when this aired? because i bet they would if this show dropped now.
(i was about to joke that if we all work really hard now, we can make that ship trend, but how tf can you write romantic fanfiction between two nameless characters? yeesh. that has to be a pain. "the well-groomed man moved in closer towards the cigarette smoking man, inhaling his burnt, acidic scent; he knew he was as bad for him as the cancer coursing through the other man's bloodstream" <- yeah, i didn't enjoy typing that, and it isn't fun to read either)
“your work is done now” SO WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO TO THE BOY???
“my work is just beginning” nope. do not like that.
well-groomed man leads gibson into the car driven by krycek, who says he has a nice straight shot at CSM!!! but well-groomed man says not to shoot. you may need him in the future.
krycek is the last man i would trust with a child.
WOAHHHHH mulder is ATTACKING SPENDER saying he will get him PROSECUTED FOR MURDER!!! “you’re wrong, agent mulder, it’s your days that are numbered” <- NOW WHAT DOES *THAT* MEAN??
is he collaborating with daddy to kill mulder or lead him down an incredibly intricate path leading to his peril?!?
NOOOOO, skinner is on the phone with scully in mulder’s apartment 💔 spender is going after mulder and there are talks of reassignment!
his first question when she gets off of the phone is about diana….
NOOO, the justice department wants to close down the x files 💔💔
mulder says this is all part of plan he couldn’t see and walked into
“this time they may have won” NOOOOO💔💔💔💔you have to find some faith!
CSM is in mulder’s office………. looking at the files….. PICKING OUT THE ONE ON SAMANTHA………… WHERE IS HE TAKING IT???
TO SPENDER?!! “who are you?” “i’m your father” <- YOOO, I DIDN’T THINK HE WOULD JUST OUT AND SAY IT??
DID HE LIGHT ALL THE OTHER FILES ON FIRE???
HOLY HELL, HE DID???
mulder is here in his t shirt and scully is here in a lab coat and they find their whole office burnt to a crisp!!!!
she grabs his arms and leans in, putting her head on his chest as he looks around in fury
woah…. woaugh……….
the end.
CSM ruined the work of their whole lives!!!
this is why archivists are so important. because they always keep files saved on at least 3 sources. inshallah the good FBI archivists had them on a bunch of floppy disks. please please please.
(i started to type “on a bunch of flash drives”, but then i realized idk if those were popular, effective, or invented at the time. and a floppy disk really couldn’t hold much. maybe there is a huge cardboard box in one of the back rooms with all of them backed up! i like the ones that were colorful!)
well, now there’s a damn movie i need to watch!!! but first i have to get all of my s5 content sorted out!!!!
i have many questions. i have a terrible feeling that poor boy is gonna end up another sacrificial lamb. and i know that CSM saved the file on samantha to keep the fire burning beneath mulder, just enough so he meets his dastardly plans. damn. this guy really is an evil genius. which does not translate to literary talent.
what is spender going to do? is he going to believe that CSM is his father? will he follow him in dastardly deeds, or will he reject them? i mean, he sure isn't a believer in aliens like mulder is, so learning his father is basically a diplomat to the alien people isn't going to go over well. or is he going to stand up to daddy and save the day, probably nobly sacrificing himself in the process?
what about scully? i just KNOW she blames herself for gibson getting kidnapped because she promised him he would be safe, and she's all torn up about mulder hiding things from her!!! poor scully!
and mulder, what is he going to do about the reappearance of diana and then her sudden death or near-death? will he stop being so cranky anytime soon? it doesn't seem likely, but a girl can hope.
and i wanna know what is going through skinner's mind, too. because he really is like an uncle to me. i remember my earlier posts about not trusting him, and i think that narrative was intentionally cultivated by the writers, but now i'm thinking, man. that's my ride or die. skinner, i should have never doubted you. not only that, i love your little house buddha and desk globes and i wish i could slap mulder across the face for the way he acts towards you!
well, i have a lot of work to do with the s5 wrapups before i can dive into this film, and so work i must. and perhaps i will save the film for next weekend when i can focus appropriate attention.
i also expect that the movie writeup will be VERY LONG. and my writeups are already SO LONG. i tossed around the idea of splitting it up into parts, but i think it will be better to just do it all in one go. unless there is a very clear midpoint spot where i can divide the post in two, which i doubt???
will diana grow on me? will the movie be enjoyable? will scully get a damn break? will CSM and WGM kiss? will krycek continue to be a problematic bisexual?
hmm. well, stay tuned, and share all of your thoughts!
#mulder is being emo because he's in one of his Moods and scully is being emo because mulder keeps secrets#gibson is sitting there like damn. i don't wanna know all of your drama. please let me watch king of the hill.#and you do have to respect him for having his priorities straight#i hope some conflict is resolved in this film. i hope conversations are had about feelings#i once made a post on my main account about how too many action movies use “the world is gonna blow up!” as the high stakes#instead of cultivating the relationships between the characters that cause the audience to even give a damn IF the world is to blow up#why should i care if the world is gonna explode if the characters that need to stop the exploding are flat and have no growth?#an honest conversation between two characters that expresses their emotional investment in each other is what will make me care#if the world blows up or not. not high stakes for the sake of high stakes. NO. THAT DOES NOT WORK!#but high stakes as they relate to our characters having something to lose is what works. something worth fighting for. you feel me?#i worded that post really well back when i made it sometime last year and of course it was about an entirely separate thing#but i find that can happen a lot in action movies. hopefully it won't happen here though! i have faith.#i'll have to dig that post up now because i want proof that once upon a time i was articulate#anyway!!! dun dun dun! final boss music is playing as we approach the FILM!#but don't get too excited! i have to make all my other s5 wrapup posts first!#juni's x files liveblog#5x20#the x files#txf
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should i sleep for a hundred million years or purposefully stop sleeping just to see what happens
#i have slept 2 hours and haven’t been able to fall asleep again for like 3 hours and i was really tired and mad abt it but now i am not#tired and not mad abt it so maybe the path i should be taking is to stop sleeping. sleeping a lot gives me little energy and i’ve been#having trouble sleeping anyway so maybe i should use this to my advantage and run my little sleep deprivation experiment that i was#originally planning to do a couple years back but then got sooo eepy sleepy that i didn’t really get far. but maybe that’s bc i wanted to#go 72 hours straight w/o sleep so i could record my response to it. i should be more subtle i think. maybe only a few hours a night#and more 30 hour waking periods. do not listen to a single thing i say ever i’m an unreliable narrator btw. i think i could trigger smth#fun to happen i:m a good age for sleep deprivation to do something fun and interesting to me and i want to play god#but i’d get kinda sad being awake all the time bc sleeping is like my number one coping mechanism. then again the pain of losing#that on top of the physical and mental consequences of sleep deprivation would be like so cool. it would pain me so much#but i find that compelling. do not listen to a single word i say i will realize this is dumb later but rn i do kinda want to think abt#running my little experiments and trying to ruin myself further. i’m such a good thing to think abt experimenting on bc i’m so affected#by things i just wish i had more force of will Does anyone want to kidnap me and keep me awake for 72 hours (i’m thinking electrocution#will be involved) and keep notes i fear i’d give up and i wouldn’t keep good enough track of things which would be so sad#obvi it would be unethical but i’m cool w that. i would also want it all on camera for review purposes. hmm i’m digging this idea. 72 hours#is not very long and i doubt there would be lasting consequences so it seems like a good idea. however i’d want to do this when i have#things to keep me busy and restricted access to places to sleep. okay i must think on this further pay no mind to what i say unless u have#suggestions like how to keep yourself from giving in bc i always have difficulty w that one
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i have a particular fondness for scenes in media that read like sex scenes even tho no sex is actually happening...which is also why the last jacemond scene in ch1 of CTF is one of my fav things i've ever written😶🌫️🥰
#the way i was digging my nails into my palms to refrain from using the word thrust when aemond got jace on the table#jace expressly swearing his consent to be harmed by aemond...not realizing...yeah#the knife switching hands and drawing blood...the tease of it all#valyrian wedding metaphors but also...consummation metaphors...#jace calling erryk inside as witness smth smth bedding ceremony metaphors...#i hope someone sees these tags bc in hindsight i really did go ham writing that scene LMAO#head in hands i need a concentrated iv drip of the motivation i had back then#author notations#jacemond#ctf#scene writing
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Alright, this is my last comment on the issue, for real this time.
@nerdykeppie is staffed by unprofessional, rude, cruel people who double down on their entitlement to be unprofessional, rude and cruel in public to their former customers.
You should know the sorts of people you're giving money to if you patronize them. The founder is liable to misread your words, lash out at you in anger over something he misunderstood, and generally behave like a tantruming child even if you go out of your way to be polite and give him the benefit of the doubt when he lashes out at you over his own poor reading comprehension.
I'm done getting into this. No, Spider is not ~required~ to be professional on his (public) personal blog which is closely tied to his business. I just think it's extremely stupid to double down on his "right" to be unprofessional on his public blog when he owns a business that is clearly tied to said public blog, because it reflects very poorly on both his personal character and his business. I think it is hilariously foolish and an extremely poor decision to openly advertise and defend your founder's unprofessionalism, which speaks of general lack of professionalism and poor judgment throughout the whole business, not just from Spider (though his lack of good judgment and public unprofessionalism is the most obvious).
So. Best of luck in the people involved resolving whatever problem in their lives that they're taking out on me, and beware interacting with them in any way because they will absolutely be rude as shit to you and then smear you in public and private for (/checks hand) apologizing for a miscommunication because you didn't mean what they incorrectly interpreted you to mean.
I can't fucking believe they still think they're in the right here and *I* am the one who needs to be ~asked not to contact them again~. You answered me THREE TIMES *after* I had blocked you because you cannot let go of the fact that you were wrong about a stupid fucking plastic pumpkin and the fact that I went OUT OF MY WAY to give you the benefit of the doubt.
(two of those three asks were frantic apologies because I genuinely felt terrible, and they were both met with meanness and scorn and snide insults about my communication failures.
Lol. Me. I'm the one who is failing to communicate and has poor reading comprehension because you misunderstood me and started lashing out like I personally strangled all of your pets for having the filthy nerve to apologize and try to clear it up.
Yeah. I'm the villain here. Sure, Jan.)
I'm done now, but enjoy having your unprofessional, cruel, immature nonsense publicly exposed. I stand by my actions (the ones I actually took in real life, not the fake pretend ones you made up because you misunderstood what I wrote) and I look forward to you experiencing the natural consequences of your own.
Don't give money to childish jerks.
#how fucking dare you lmao#the gall is just mind boggling#nerdykeppie#this is the last time I'm addressing this period.#tagging it only so other people looking at the tag can make informed decisions about whether to give their money elsewhere#you would think a business would give a shit about its founder being an ass in public on the social media site where you get large amounts#of your publicity and advertising but hey#not my funeral!#they can shoot themselves in the foot as many times as they please#but their potential customers should know this is what they do and how they behave!#also loving the incel response of “you turned me down?? well I never wanted to fuck you anyway!!!”#yeah uh huh sure you totally had no plans to use my photos#that's why you asked for my permission to use my photos#but whatever makes you feel soothed from your hissy fit I guess#don't buy from nerdykeppie#keep digging that hole babe you're just making yourself look worse and worse and worse#side note#there is little funnier#than someone throwing an extremely public tantrum#because you (gasp) reported on the words they said and actions they took of their own volition#HOW DARE I SHARE THE THINGS YOU SAY#what a monster I am for making you look so bad by publishing the things you said that are bad!#keep digging that hole I'll keep saving all the screenshots#if I have to involve a lawyer fine#not my fault not my doing not my job to shield a grownass adult business owner from the consequences#of throwing a massive shitfit tantrum in public over being exposed for throwing a massive shitfit tantrum because#and I cannot stress this enough#HE#misunderstood ME#and doubled down when I apologized
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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#yesterday I unfortunately got to watch my uncles dog get euthanatized (is this the correct English word?)#he got pretty sick the last month and one of his lungs completely collapsed#if he had taken him to a vet sooner maybe things could have turned out differently. who knows#at least my cousin arranged the euthanasia for yesterday and they didn't wait for the next day. he would only suffer needlessly#at least he was an old dog. 11 years old (german shepherd. bigger breeds in general live less than small ones)#I will miss him tho. he was a very good dog. and he was always so happy to see me. he was very timid too. very calm#I miss you Zeus. even if you weren't my dog#text#not art#sad#I don't think I'll ever forget this actually. the whole thing was so. bizarre in a way#the way my other cousin carried his body in a plastic bag afterwards and then went to dig a hole for hours to bury him#tw death#tw euthanasia
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My translyrics for Salamander, written out under the cut :D
This one was much more difficult than the last, but I'm still very satisfied with it! 😤 I'm both sad that my version lost a lot of the fun soundplay of the original, and also waaay more impressed with the lyrics and vocals after digging it like this! I tried to keep it balanced between the original and Fuuta's version, though maybe it ended up leaning more toward the cover, idk. Leaving my specific notes in the tags 👍
Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?
"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.
It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.
I want a taste, but all this spice may prove more than I can take, (eh?)
Something's on your mind. So spit it out and tell me, don't waste my time, kay?
I'm hooked on this, pass me a dish.
The way I'm starving here without you -- it's a crime
A spicy treat, put on repeat,
Can I get seconds with the same heat? One more time!
Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?
"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.
It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.
I can't stop anything, although I wouldn't want to stop, oh no --
Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.
I want a bite, I can't help giving in to this new appetite.
Again, again, I want to be on fire when I get to the end.
We live too fast, we burn to ash,
I never handled spices well and it's a crime.
A spicy treat, put on repeat,
Can I get seconds with the same heat? One more time!
I want to burn bright red
I want to burn bright red
Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?
"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.
Tell me I'm not alone in my mind!
Salamander~ Look what's happened to me. This pa- passion's crazy
Tell me I'm not delirious, I'm being serious.
It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.
I can't stop anything, although I wouldn't want to stop, oh no --
Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.
I want to leave I want to go, but I can never stop, oh no --
Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#deco*27#this time i can confidently say this is my fav milgram song lmao#literally the hardest line of the whole song was the very first one#still not 100% satisfied but compared to my dozens of draft lines its pretty good#i really wanted the 'po's to be within a word like the original and went digging through so many words with the sound in the middle LMAO#i wanted something focused more on heat/spice but alas it had to be passion -_-#there was very little space to get across the idea of 'its not a big deal right?' so i hope 'fine' conveys what i want it to hmm...#forever missing the sound of 'ripiccha itai/ piriccha itai' but the treat/repeat lines still worked out well!#so mad english doesnt have a nice onomatopoeia like 'fuu' :(#i needed to keep the long u to finish of the first stanza the long o in a few lines -- i absolutely love how arthur lounsbery sings those#my ace ass appreciates his commitment to singing such a steamy song so harsh and turning the seductive whispers into angry grumbling 😂#me too man#the struggle of trying to write fun food lines and going 'oh NO that sounds even dirtier now' 😭😭😭#i actually did record myself singing and i knew it was gonna be bad but it was Really Awful adsfdsfd so sorry#just take my word for it!!! it all works perfectly!!!#(once again if anyone wants to cover it hmu hehe :3)#oops spelled delirious wrong in my chart shhhhhh#lyrics
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I’m a big fan of the stories of Persephone where she actually loves Hades and being queen of the underworld n all that BUT I’m also really liking the idea of an aggressively aro Kore being wild and free and doing everything she can to avoid being swallowed up by the ground…
#the Kore im talking about is my mc character btw#I’ve been trying to figure out a way to intregate Persephones whole shtick into Kore’s character#since she’s not meant to BE persephone she just has some of her qualities(?)#idk if qualities is the right word.. they’re meant to be similar theme/story wise#and im really digging the idea of Kore being cursed to the underground if she’s not careful#since hades doesn’t really exist in her universe#the underground being a metaphor for marriage/romance is hitting hardd#especially after that dream I had… blewhgg#rozu thoughts#blooming strangely#i gotta learn how to stop typing so much in the tags whoops#rozu learn how to say everything you want to say in the actual post challenge (impossible)
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on the second weekend of january an aunt passes away on the third week of january an uncle passes away you'd never guess what happened on the last weekend of the month... a cousin passes away
#all on my mothers side such a cool month#hope this doesn't prolong til february#i hate going to mass but funeral masses are just awful specially if you're a nonbeliever receiving dirty looks from the old christian ladie#my uncle's funeral was particular in the sense where the were no gravediggers in the village and the people who dug the grave did it wrong#and as you can imagine the coffin didn't fit so they had to dig the grave three times for the coffin to fit in front of the family mind you#which was surreal might i add#when they came to take measurements of the coffin again during the wake i legit thought what if the coffin doesn't fit after all this#little did i know#for the sake of mental health i'm not going to the cousin's funeral and also we weren't close since he was an older man and i rarely saw#his part of the family but my mom will probably go since she liked him and he's closer in lineage wise (idk if that how you say it...)#i feel like lineage is the wrong word but he's like a 4th to 5th degree cousin to me#anywayssss
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