#getting shot is something he wouldve been through before but being shot by an ally?

[s0fter-sin]

thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage

you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out

"i'm calling shepherd"

his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books; to go up the chain and sort it out democratically. that goes against everything we've seen him do; he’s quick to drop his enemies and bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns

he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer

there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends

nothing's happened yet

it doesn't have to go this way

but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy

he doesn't hesitate

it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from

only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat

and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for

"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"

he's learned the price of trust

just like ghost did

but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath

"good advice, It"

[karazrel]

Ugh same I don’t think her redemption arc will be done justice. If you were the writer for season 5 how would you go about the reveal? And if you’re a writer for season 6 how would you go about the redemption?

fair warning, this really got out of hand asdfghj

i really like the concept of lena leaving nc after the reveal and getting away from everyone so she can actually heal like in so many fics, so my ideal s5 wouldve been:

5x01 can have the same general concept w lena selling catco to andrea and the pulitzer award ceremony, except instead of revealing kara’s identity she’s planning on personally confronting kara and letting her know she’s leaving right before the ceremony 

that plan goes out the window as soon as kara confesses she’s sg and we see lena hesitate cause she thinks maybe they can work this out so she decides to stay 

then we have 2-3 episodes of lena trying to make it work, being invited out with the superfriends and actually going, spending more time with kara, doing her whole little boxes thing and pretending that she’s okay 

much like in canon, kara is relieved she hasn’t actually lost lena and barrels on with their friendship like nothing has changed until eventually lena cant take it anymore and it all boils over 

we get a 507 style confrontation except this time they actually address lenas anger without involving the dumbass mind control plot, kara apologises and actually acknowledges her mistakes but lena says she needs some time and tells her she’s leaving nc 

by 504 lena has left nc and gone to sam’s place because she has friends who care about her in this universe. she doesnt tell sam what happened beyond the fact that she and kara fell out, but sam being the angel she is, happily takes her in even if she knows theres more to it than that

in nc, kara’s storyline can actually be her finding out about coie and throwing herself into trying to prevent it. we’d finally get some good old fashioned character development and emotional growth at this point, maybe even another argo-visit for good measure

fast forward to crisis and it’s kara who goes to ask for lena’s help, lena’s still hurt and angry and doesnt want to speak to kara until she says something along the lines of “i watched my planet die again today” which has lena pausing, cause despite everything she does still care, and then karas telling her about not being strong enough to save argo even with all her powers and that she just cant bear to lose another person right now while lena comforts her

 later kara will tell lena they need her help and that she she knows that she’s messed up and lena has every right to be angry at her but she also knows lena is a good person and she’d never put her personal feelings above the well being of others 

lena of course agrees and comes back to nc but she’s still angry at everyone and not afraid to show it, this would be a great opportunity to have alex apologise for the role she played too and let lena know that everything that happened in s4 wasnt them manipulating her, alex does consider lena a friend and she didnt actually know who sg was at the time but she’s sorry lena got hurt in the process etc etc

fast forward through crisis and lex makes a comeback like w the show, the only difference is when kara shows up at lenas office in 5x10 instead of siding w lex, lena’s like “of course im not falling for his bullshit” cause she hasnt had her brains scrambled behind the scenes

lena has by no means forgiven kara at this point but defeating lex takes precedence and of course he cant know theyre onto him so they decide to keep their partnership a secret while maintaining the enemies facade 

brainy and lenas storylines would also intertwine here and lena would call him out on being a dumbass and pushing people away because she knows from experience how that turns out. brainy also gets a fair shot at lena’s terrible little boxes coping mechanism and then he starts working alongside her and kara to take down lex

eventually the whole reluctant allies and the late night 4x19 style meetings and karas insistence that she will make it up to lena no matter how hard it is and how long it takes, start chipping through lenas icy armour and she feels herself softening in the face of karas warmth and devotion

we get another confrontation scene towards the end of the season, except this time it’s not fueled by anger but the mutual desire to actually fix things, lena tells kara how much it hurt to be lied to by everyone in her life and how wrong it was of kara to use james against her and to pretend to be her friend while she was calling her a villain. kara apologises and explains how much of a personal boundary kryptonite is to her because of how it’s been used against her, and that lena is only the 2nd person she ever told willingly, and how she’d always felt like just kara when she was with lena and she didn’t want lena to see her differently, but she recongises that she’d hurt her either way and it was wrong. 

it’s by no means an instant solution to all their problems but it helps and it’s definitely the first step they needed to make their way back to friendship 

fast forward to the finale and we have the lex vs kara showdown where he manages to incapacitate kara, but lena’s there at the very last second to protect her, in a version of the lexosuit she upgraded. they manage to take him down together and we FINALLY move on from the lex luthor storyline

last scene in s5 is a parallel to the s4 finale, all the superfriends are together again and theyre waiting on lena, maybe shes standing outside a little nervous cause this is the first time she’ll be w them again after everything that went down

she’s pacing when kara comes out to check in on her, and then lenas apologising and wringing her hands together cause she doesnt know how to do this and she’s worried it’ll be too awkward so maybe she should just go

and kara is gentle and understanding when she says that she’d never force lena to do something she’s uncomfortable with but they all love her and want her there and lenas shoulders will relax a little and she’ll say she’ll be inside in a minute

“i can stay here with you, if you want” kara will tell her and lena will ask “for how long?”but it’s like she’s asking something else entirely. and when kara replies “however long you need” lena will smile softly and take kara’s hand so they can walk inside together

[starry-bi-sky]

Malevolent Au

It’s not complete, but on the Felinette Discord we made an au based off the song ‘Queen of Mean’!

@unmaskedagain idk if this’ll help you get ideas, since I found your fic after I made the au, but I hope you like it anyways!

Me - Black, Bee - Orange, Lefty - Blue

Okay but guys

A modified version of ‘Queen Of Mean’ as an akumanette

Idk if this has a bittersweet ending or a bad ending but either way it’s salty and not ending in the class’s favor

Her akuma item would probably be her ribbons because I don’t want that for tikki

I’m thinking that Akumanette has an outfit that looks like a suit but there’s a skirt-tail type thing that ends at her ankles. Idk how to explain it other than it’s fancy but practical

It’s black and red

There’s black paint on her face that serves as the mask and she has her hair in a braided ponytail and she has a circlet with black framing and a red gem in the center

She’s terrifying and one of the more fashionable akumas

I don’t have the story fully fleshed out but smth happens that Lila blames Marinette for and Alya, when she’s yelling at Marinette, calls her the ‘Queen of Mean’ and Marinette, tired of literally everything just says ‘if that’s what you think, then fine’ in this really cold tone before storming off

Maybe she goes to the theater room or something, she just goes to an empty classroom to rant

She’s too exhausted to fight back the akuma and maybe Tiki says ‘you deserve a break, it’s not healthy to keep all these emotions bottled up, I know you won’t do anything bad’ but just to be safe Marinette takes out the earring before the akuma gets close so it possesses the ribbons instead

Akumanette (who I will be calling Malevolent for the time being) manages to get CN’s ring and the other miraculi too, but instead of going to Hawkmoth she goes to her room to hide them before going on the hunt for Hawkmoth because she needs his miraculous too

I have no doubt that she toys with them, picking them off one by one

Then gets Hawkmoth in a big spectacular moment

Or maybe she's made copies of the miraculous for cosplay and goes to meet him with those, the old switcheroo and she takes him out while hes distracted

Could be interesting if, as part of her power, she could corrupt the miraculouses and give them to the people who upset/offended her. But instead of giving them powers, they were warped to instead punish the wearer in a way that fits the miraculous's original intent. Kinda a reversal on the way she gave out the miraculouses and granted powers before. Like, the Black Cat Miraculous, it causes the person to relive their most painful memories as the element of destruction, and the fox one forces the wearer to tell the truth no matter what, or traps them in an illusion or something.

And maybe how she goes to a new school. And meeting the others was maybe when shes revealed as the akuma she claims shes had enough of her classmates shit and exposes what they did to her live on tv and her parents transfer her because of all the stress they put her under. She's never become an akuma before. And just because of one lying little brat, their daughter has become one of the strongest akumas they've ever seen

And she gives the miraculi back to Fu apologizing out her butt for everything...but he just lets her keep the earrings, fearing that something grander may be at scale...but he refuses to give the ring back to Adrien because had he been by Mari's side, they wouldve been able to prevent the akuma and help Mari over come Lie-la.

And now Fu chooses a new Black Cat for Mari....

I would assume that the peacock is still lost....maybe Adri could find it amd becomes determined to get both his ring and. "His" lady back from that Fake Cat

And maybe before the ring gets taken Adrien has no idea who the akuma is because Marinette returns to class all normal if just closed off and even after he doesn’t know until it’s revealed to everyone. The whole of Paris is wondering where tf LB is everyone Malevolent shows her face

Or she could claim that she took the earrings before Ladybug even had a chance~

So the whole of Paris is rightly terrified

And the QK kids are slightly cautious but they see the nerd trip and get flustered then they just decide that she's totally fine to hang out with

Ooh why would they be cautious?

The QK would totally be the ones to find out Marinette’s the akuma first and they’re all really concerned for their friend because she’s been an akuma for MONTHS now and what happened that made her such a powerful akuma?

But if she just transformed back and went to the new school, wouldnt u be cautious too

Like

ThTS THE GIRL WHO BROUGHT PARIS TO ITS KNEES TO BEG FOR MERCY

and she chose mercy

Imagine...what it would take to bring her, the strongest akuma to kill all of Paris

(I should probably point out that I’m still going off the idea that Marinette is still Malevolent when she goes to her new school, feel free to ask for clarification if you’re still confused)

“Be wary of the quiet ones, the sweet ones, the kind ones, because they’re the ones with the saddest smiles, the darkest pasts. They’re the ones you watch out, for even demons run when good men go to war.”

Hawkmoth, once he realizes that Malevolent is on the prowl for him, tries to call back the akuma, but because of Marinette’s sheer stubborn will power and the help of Nooroo he can’t do it

So he’s basically useless as Malevolent numbers his days as a super villain

Maybe Malevolent only comes out at night. She has less chance of being seen, less chance of being caught

Except that just makes her 10x more terrifying because in the daylight she’s scary enough as it is, but at night the shadows highlight only half of her face and it makes her harder to see

Maybe Malevolent decides to torment her classmates first before picking off the heroes, so perhaps by the time she’s at her new school and prowling at night she’s picking off the heroes one by one

Maybe she does it slowly instead of night by night

And like the first half is her taking the heroes and Hawk down while the other half if her recovering and learning about the new villain and her new allies

She fucking stalks her classmates, planting incriminating evidence. Maybe for Lie-la she records the girl bragging about her lies and how much shes dragged Mari through the mud while shes at home, then the next morning a video is released on the Ladyblog....

The class is rightly scared out of their pants because there’s an akuma after them but they don’t know who and she hasn’t been caught yet

LB is gone and Malevolent, even in the daylight, is hard to see so other than the major bad luck and her first debut there’s almost no trace of her

Her debut was video taped so Paris knows that there’s an akuma on the loose but she’s so quiet that it leaves everyone on edge

Maybe while Malevolent is hunting Hawkmoth she stops other villains like low level (and high profile) criminals and outs corrupt politicians and the likes

And they've obviously taken poor Mari because Mari could never get akumatized! Shes too good!

Oooh!! Going back on the ‘Mari can change out of villain form’ maybe the only proof she’s Malevolent in her civilian form is that her ribbons are a darker red than they should

And poor Mari makes herself smaller and scared hah, as if. These idiots dont know whats gonna hit them.... she looks...terrified~

Her parents try and reassure her that the akuma will be caught and Mari feels bad for tricking them but at the same time she’s still angry so that anger outweighs the guilt

Marinette is paler than she was before akumatization and maybe her eyes are a bit more dull

Or perhaps just a smidge too bright

It’s not noticeable, but there’s just something.. off about her eyes

They look... almost brighter than they should be

Maybe too attentive

Too... analytical

But then the look is gone and perhaps you were just imagining it?

That seems likely

The QK, when they first meet Marinette, adopt her immediately because she’s so pale and small and she looks so tired

And at first Marinette is wary but after Claude trips and falls flat on his face trying to cheer her up she warms up to them

Then one day someone gets a clear full body shot of Malevolent and while QK are looking at it Marinette approaches them and they start noticing... similarities

Like how her ribbons are the same color as her circlet, or how her eyes hold the same wary attentiveness and are the same bright blue

And maybe they try to deny it

But it’s all there

I’m still trying to figure out how Marinette reveals herself as Malevolent

Perhaps a rude encounter with her classmates? Maybe someone tries attacking her friends (Hawkmoth has resorted to using the peacock miraculous at the point maybe) and she saves them??

When she transforms her ribbons wrap around her in a whirlwind

That’s all we got!! Maybe it’ll be continued on, maybe it won’t, but it was super fun to think up!

[codyfernaesthetic]

Dichotomy

Part 17

Summary:

Michael and Mallory find a moment of peace.

Author’s notes:

I’m sorry these are getting so short. But again, I really didn’t want to waste time and not get it out there. But I would love to hear feedback from you guys? Like, are you liking the direction, do you want me to speed things up? I know I’m responsible for it at the end of the day but I care about what you guys are thinking. I don’t wanna bore you guys lol Hope you enjoy!

The students and mentors, with the exception of Madison, of Robicheaux’s Academy gathered together in one room to listen to Mallory’s story of the apocalypse, being met with confused questions and fearful looks. Michael stood by her side protectively, his gentle hands grasping her shoulders, her own reaching to pat them. Cordelia sat at the end of the long table, stone faced; absorbing her every word with grave solemnity. Myrtle eyed Michael incredulously, her lips in a tight line; as did every witch that saw his display of power at Hawthorne’s. The news of their supernatural parentage filled the room with awed murmurs. Cordelia finally stood, a hush falling over them. She took in a deep breath, looking at Mallory with a bemused smile, “You’re powers were always so far advanced with so little training, but I would’ve never suspected this.”

“We’re refugees now. Cordelia,” Michael chimed in.

Mallory could see the tensing muscles and distrustful stares in his direction, particularly from Zoe, Queenie, and Myrtle. They looked like a pack of lionesses ready to devour an approaching gazelle. She instinctively clutched his hand tightly to send silent assurance that he was not going to hurt them.

“I can’t say that you have my forgiveness,” he continued glaring at the Supreme, “But all that matters to me now is Mallory’s safety,” he glanced down at her, “I swear that as long as she lives, I pose no threat to you or the world.”

His proclamation was met with icy silence. Cordelia stepped from the table and made a slow, deliberate walk to their end; her gaze never faltering.

When she stood before them, her eyes dropped to Mallory, understanding, but nervous nonetheless, “My sister’s ally is mine,” she took her hand, “You will be given the solemn protection of this coven,” she looked at him once again, “and of the Supreme.”

Mallory smiled gratefully, pushing back her chair and embracing her, “Thank you, Cordelia.”

The woman hugged her tightly, “I’m sure after all you’ve been through, you want to spend some time with everyone.”

Mallory nodded and the rest of the women stood to gather around her, nervously chattering and hugging her, even though in their eyes not even a day had passed since last they saw her. Myrtle kissed her on the cheek, “I knew you were special, dear,” she commented lovingly. Queenie and Zoe smiled and hugged her. Mallory returned their welcome eagerly, allowing tears to flow freely down her cheeks.

She pulled back from Queenie and saw Coco approaching sheepishly, her trademark pink lipstick adorning her lips. Mallory stared at her, like seeing the dead raised back to life. She wrapped her arms around her neck and squeezed, “I’m so fucking glad to see you.”

Coco looked at her laughing, and Mallory relished the friendship she saw in her eyes, “So, daughter of god. As if you weren’t already amazing.”

She cupped her friend’s face, touching their foreheads together, “I have a suspicion that you’re much more amazing than you give yourself credit for.”

The friends hugged again. The other witches returning to their fellowship. Cordelia slipped out of the room unnoticed.

As did Michael.

“Cordelia,” he called to her with a firm voice. She turned, her back straightening.

“I meant what I said. As long as Mallory lives, you and your coven have your safety.”

Her gaze was controlled, but underneath it held fiery indignation, “Don’t presume that because Mallory trusts you, I offer the same courtesy.”

“Likewise,” he stepped forward, “I’m not a double minded man. She hasn’t changed who I am, but she has changed my priorities. If any harm comes to her, especially under your watch,” his voice was deadpan and gravely serious, “her last breath is your death sentence.”

She narrowed her eyes, stepping up to him, “Don’t you dare threaten me, little boy.”

His tone was barely above a whisper, “Don’t you dare test me, Miss Supreme.”

Without another word, he turned on his heels and walked back to rejoin Mallory.

_____________

Myrtle was kind enough to buy Michael some clothes and essentials, commenting that even her enemies needed to be well dressed; Mallory was sure she wasn’t joking. Cordelia was at first hesitant to let a boy share Mallory’s room, but given the circumstances, permitted it.

“At least this one’s not undead,” Queenie muttered under her breath just to Cordelia.

The witches slept uneasily that night; the wind outside howling like a desperate animal scratching at their doorstep. Michael inspected himself in the mirror after taking a shower and changing into a black t-shirt and sweatpants. Mallory watched him bemused as he drug his fingers through his now short and very curly locks.

“I like the short hair,” she offered.

“I look like a child,” he groaned, “I liked my hair.”

She snickered at his pouting, he shot her a glare, “It was my look.”

She sighed dramatically, “Oh, god forbid Michael Langdon look less than immaculate.”

He gave up and shook his head, flipping off the bathroom light as he passed her. She gripped his arm, stopping him, “Hey.”

He gazed down into her eyes. It was like a moment of clarity. During the insanity and blur of plagues and gods and death—

He had forgotten how beautiful she was. How utterly, all consuming her deep brown eyes were; they pulled him beneath a swirling ocean, barely breathing, but never more alive.

He leaned down and kissed her, deeply, but gently. She tasted like magic and earth and sky; like the beauty of the universe. Her delicate hands cupped his face, breaking the kiss to look into his eyes. He’d kill for her. He’d slaughter any god, demon, or mortal that dared touch her. He would rip the world into two and cast her enemies into hell.

“Feels like I haven’t gotten to do that in a while.”

He rested his hands on the curve of her hips, “Any second apart is too much.”

She blushed, leaning into him, “Could you foresee this at the Outpost?” She asked jokingly, “That some little nobody would factor into the Apocalypse like this?”

“There was never a doubt in my mind that you were someone extraordinary.”

She looked at him, “You know, I think I felt there was something always there between us. Some kind of magnetic pull or cosmic intuition,” she shrugged, “Or maybe that’s just me overthinking.”

“No.”

He caresses her face, “You enchanted me from the moment we met.”

She moved away from him, walking to the bed, “This just feels so...strange.”

She sat on the edge of her bed, twiddling her thumbs.

He joined her, wrapping his arms around her, “That’s putting it mildly.”

She ran her fingers through his hair, “According to everything...our past...our actions...our destinies...How could we ever...how could I feel as in love with you as I do?” She chuckled, “I defied God to her face because I couldn’t tell my heart to stop soaring when I’m with you; because it was impossible, after seeing into your soul, to not love you.”

Tears came to his eyes, the sight more beautiful to her than anything, “It’s like I told you, Mallory. There are forces at work beyond human will. Some things are inevitable.”

She brought their lips together again, whispering, “I’m glad you’re my inevitable.”

He moaned deeply into her mouth, pushing her back onto the bed. He entwined their fingers as he straddled her hips, “I’m yours,” he gasped, “I’m yours until the end of time.”

[alliesweetsong]

Catching Up

“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” 

-Thomas Aquinas

“Thank you for you buisness as always Miss Sweetsong, see you tomorrow, same time?”  the shopkeep asks as she hands Allie a cup of Coffee. Accepting the cup the void elf nods and exchanges the requied coin for the drink. “Of course Miss Rayvenson” the Rendorei replies warmly. Opening the door back out to the street the bell on the handle sounds as Allie walks down the street. 

@serelia-evensong @eilitheduskbringer @rann-daybinder @householt  @thesistersdastorio @alexkestavin @mender-emilia @thepaletroll for mentions

Allie had much to smile about right now, which didn’t happen very often, she had purpose again being hired as ‘Enforcer’ of Dead Sun Harbor.  She stil couldnt believe it, spending most of the night at the harbor, learning the rules, learning the people. It all had felt like a dream. Until she woke with a hangover from the whiskey she had consumed. Deciding to go for a run Allie changes into something comfortable and starts sweating the hangover away, or so she thought. Stopping about mid way through her route the elf doubles over out of breath and starts towards the shop near her house.

Rounding the corner, the Rendorei starts for Serelia’s flat, it had been a few days since they last spoke, closer to a week in fact. She was excited as she walks up to the door of her friends apartment.

Knock Knock Knock

Three heavy hand falls on the wooden door would announce her arrival to Serelia inside. It takes a few long moments before the door is answered.  A padding of bare feet on wood, and the little door opens. Serelia stands in the door way wearing a long men’s tunic that hangs past her thighs, a few buttons undone at the top.  She looks tired, sleepy gaze, hair mussed as it falls around her shoulders.  “Hey Allie.”  She offers sleepily.  Behind her the room is basically empty, a few scattered boxes here and there with things sticking out of it but her flat seems mostly cleaned out.  Sere yawns, “haven’t seen you in a few days, how are you?”

Allie smiles warmly and nods "I am well Se'lia, I thought I would stop by, kind of missed you" she says before holding out the coffee. "How have you been?"

Sere happily accepts it, taking a sip and making an appreciative sound, eyes closing for a moment.  She glances at the sky behind Allie.  “I overslept.  Tired I suppose.  Rann and I have been working on a move.”  She gestures vaguely at the mostly empty place behind her.  “I’d invite you in but there’s not really anywhere to sit.”  The woman steps out into the street, closing the door behind her and leans against it, seemingly not bothered by her state of dress.  “How’re you?  You look happy today.”

Allie Smiles at that, and starts talking of the events in her life the past week, about Dead Sun Harbor and her new position within it. It was easy for her to get carried away, but she wasn’t here for herself, she missed her friend. Waving off her own news she flashes a warm smile at Serelia, “You and Rann seem to be getting serious now, moving in to your own place now?" she asks with a wink.

Allie’s friend nods in approval of the work that the young Rendorei found herself doing “Ihat sounds like rewarding work, I hope it works out for you.” She says before reminiscing fondly of both of their previous employer House Holt.  I’m in much the same spot, I love the Holts and their house, I just want to protect things that are more important to me.” Serelia says before quickly changing subjects

“Ah, not really our own place.  You know Haniya?  She’s a mender, yes, of course you’ve met her.  She’s insisted that he and I take her empty second floor.  Wants to be sure we’re somewhere secure and cared for, what with neither of us working at the moment.  She’s a very kind woman.”

Allie nods at that "I think I will get along just fine with this group, you should see the harbor, its hot and humid, but shadows is it nice." she says nodding in agreement "The Holts were nice people, and I really hope they are well, I have been thinking about reaching out to Miss Emilia, I miss her. I just feel as though I can help people better away from them, Leaving hurt, you know me and my uh, fondness for getting attached. myself and Alex had some nasty words for each other the last we spoke...i dont think we can ever be friends again sadly. But I will give it time, who knows." she says before smiling and pushing hair out of her face. before smiling  "Oh yes, I remember mis Haniya, that is nice of her! Can I still come visit? I can help you move if you would like." she says before slowly reaching into her pouch producing a smaller pouch "here, its not much eighty or so gold if I remember right, but that should help you and Rann for a while."

Serelia frowns, crossing arms under bust as she leans against her front door, "Allie, ever is a long time.  I can't think of a single conversation I've had in my life that is the deciding factor on me never speaking to someone again."  That's not exactly true, but the Void is a whole thing.  "Give it time, but not too much.  Mend fences early, or they fall further apart."  She says before waving off the offered pouch.  "I'm fine for funds, I've enough saved and I spend very little of it.  Hani is overworried, but the space is nice, it'll be good for us and the little one eventually, being so close to a mender."

Allie puts the pouch away and nods to her advice "Yea, I think i will try talking to him tomorrow at the children....." The Void pauses and blinks clearly registering what was said "Wait....little one, Se'lia...are you pregnant?" she asks as  the grind on face turns to a wide smile and her jaw drops

A hand moves down from her defensive crossed arms, to instead rest on her stomach, still toned and smooth under the tunic.  "Maybe."  Serelia says, offering a small fond smile. "It's too early to say for certain, but there have been signs. Haniya believes everything that is showing is enough reason to be cautious and treat it as though it's happening."  Sere opens her mouth gving another soft laugh and her other hand runs back through her violet hair, smoothing out the tangles her waves tend to get into.  "Few days ago I would've said I hope she's wrong.  Starting to feel like maybe I'd be disappointed if she was though. Thinking maybe it wouldn't be the end of the world to give family a shot."

Allie covers her mouth for a moment shocked before moving to her friend offering out her arms for a hug "Oh Se'lia, i'm so happy for you two, if you need any help please tell me." she says warmly. The void Rendorei's tone and even posture would be vastly different then just a few weeks ago. If Serelia was paying attention she would be able to discern that Allie was in fact even wearing perfume, which gave off a nice scent of of spring. "I think you will like the whole family thing, I know our last conversation about it wasn’t the best. But I think if you opened up your heart to it, you will enjoy it."

Serelia wraps arms around Allie, giving her a tight squeeze for a moment, enjoying the embrace before releasing her again, stepping back against the door.  "It's frightening.  I feel bad for Rann, he's young, and we've only been together a month or so.  I tried to give him the option to just let me handle this on my own, he shouldn't have to be obligated to it.  But he seems stubborn enough to insist he's sticking at my side through it.  I'm grateful to have him, I genuinely do love him, I just wish it wasn't such a big ask.  That's part of what family is, I suppose.  I'll be sure to let you know when I'm certain but, it seems like this is happening."

Allie nods tightly squeezing back in a fond manner before letting go, if allowed her left hand would find itself on Serelias stomach "Se'lia this is wonderful, you have a good man. I wish i wouldve talked to Rann more, I hope he doesn’t think I don't like him. He's someone to cherish Se'lia, im glad he is staying." She says before lightly messaging her friends stomach if allowed. "You two are perfect for each other, look how far you have come with him in a month, even Gareth...hes too stubborn to let me go through this life alone." she says shaking her head with a small grin. 

Sere nods, that fond smile still on her features."I do. He's incredible, I'm very fortunate he gave me a chance.  I'm not the easiest to love, but he makes me happy and it seems like I make him too."  Serelia stifles another yawn.  "Thank you for the coffee.  I'm going to go sleep some more though, I'm so tired lately, thank you for stopping by and checking in though.  I'm proud of you on the new job, I hope it works well for you."

Allie smiles and nods offering another warm hug "Thank you Se'lia, and I am proud of you too. perhaps we can go to dinner in a few days, my treat? Bring Rann too." she says before letting go "Sleep well dear."

Sere returns the hug, giving Allie a small squeeze.  "I'll see if he's up for it.  I doubt we're doing anything until we're settled in the new place, but I'm sure we can make it happen soon.  Have a good day Allie."  A tired smile, and Serelia lets herself back into her little flat.

As the door closes Allie doesnt a silent cheer dance, life was continuing to look better and better. But as a great friend once said, mend fences early and often, you never know when it will be gone for good.

(Thank you Serelia for the wonderful RP this morning I truly enjoyed myself and I cannot wait to see where things go!)

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 4 | “ladies and gays.......the games have OFFICIALLY begun “ - Adam

I was immune three times so far this season. Three times. and FOR WHAT? I'm so screwed if I don't win this immunity challenge. I know I'm a weak link, so if I don't win this, hopefully *dan* doesn't either cause I might have to target him to save my skin. This is where I'm really gonna have to be social over the next day, cause my ass is quite literally on the line right now. I'm not getting 18th-16th, screw this.

ladies and gays.......the games have OFFICIALLY begun, at least for me but hopefully not just for me or uh i might be in trouble... but anywho, another brain went home sorry to this person and right when we all thought a swap of some sort was coming, BOOM a twist of all twists... EVERYONE is going to tribal, that means after this vote, we're gonna be down to 16 people just like that. But before we get there we have to get through immunity and tribal first, i saw that time was one of the tiebreakers and was doing nothing better so i figured lets get this challenge with, its counting how hard can it really be, once again however i completely underestimed my stupid bitchness! i was all the way into the 400s almost through before i MESSED UP .... TWICE ... so in the end i somehow still got 211 which i guess we'll see if that was decent, i dont think ill win but hopefully im just not last. This also means its time to start talking game, i hope no one is scared to talk game because im absolutely not. I'm not here to just sit in the shadows right away, I started messaging just a couple of the people i feel ive built some small connections with and just start to plant seeds about the vote coming up, i dont wanna throw any names out there until at least after we see who wins immunity, but as of now, connor might be a first easy boot?? either that or thats just what people are telling me to blindside me...idk im also still completely shook that the idol is out there, so i really want to vote out whoever has it so i can try to find it again.... but the only problem is i have no idea who has it, it could very well be someone i trust just keeping it to themselves like i wouldve...so we'll see, today is the calm before the storm, and i can tell you the storm is right over the horizon on its way to cause chaos for the beauties because we've been sitting pretty for far too long (pun intened), tomorrow after 9 once we see who wins, thats when i predict at least for me alliance chats and plans will hopefully start coming to fruition and uh hopefully its not me 

When you survived that vote out when you thought you were leaving https://media.giphy.com/media/5GoVLqeAOo6PK/200_d.gif When that twist comes out where three people all leave in the same round https://media.giphy.com/media/W7RVlWfc1O9gY/giphy.gif It's moments like this that make me realize that I should have tried to convince Devon to split up Autumn & Duncan last round. Because if Isaac was here, I could have easily gotten Devon and either Duncan/Autumn on board with voting out Isaac. Now we have to go to tribal AGAIN where we have to vote out a daddy :'( I'm still up in the air about what I want to do. Part of me is thinking about doing 2 options. 1 would be to utilize Devon to split up Autumn/Duncan. OR, I can align with Autumn/Duncan and vote out Devon. It's obvious that Autumn and Duncan are a duo, and I'm almost 100% certain that they'll tell Devon to vote me and me to vote Devon. Doing so gives them full power on who to send home, so I think my best bet is to vote with Devon this round. If Devon is as with me as he says he is, then the vote should tie. If Autumn/Duncan decide to vote me out over Devon, then I would hope Devon allows it to go to a tiebreaker. If they vote Devon, then I might just flip my vote and send Devon out of the game. Devon is a "i'm 100% loyal" type of person but at the same time, he also said the same things to me that he said to Duncan. So I don't trust him 100%. I wouldn't be surprised if the three of them just decided to vote me out. If I happen to win immunity, I might actually consider allowing Devon to go to a tiebreaker. I don't have anything to lose by having Devon and either Autumn or Duncan duke it out in a challenge. Devon sucks at challenges so he'd probably go home anyways, but at least the chance at staying is better than nothing. My goal is to win this challenge first and foremost. I hope that if I win that I have some power or influence in how this vote turns out. Given that I have a 25% chance at being voted out, anything can happen.

its literally so sad to see that the daddies have to go to tribal council. i made sure i didn't f*ck up in the immunity challenge and hopefully i have a good shot at winning it. Granted i survive this vote regardless, its going to be amazing to see the other tribes go to tribal council and test their tribe dynamics.This is like the equivalent of giving everyone a survivor wake up call. Just because we've been sucking doesn't mean we get to be spared by a swap.  No one deserves anything, you have to earn it. Worst comes to worse I would like to think I have to make fire against scott or devon, which at that point if i lose then i would have done everything i can to stay in this god forsaken game. I'm leaning more towards wanting Scott out but obvi if he wins immunity i have no issue voting for Devon. Can you imagine us not swapping after this and then having to go to tribal again!? Its starting to get quite comical that we've had to play so much already and we're not even close to merge. Wish a bitch luck i guess 

Waiting for these results really has me terrified about how I did. Personally, I like to think I did well in that challenge. Not to toot my own horn or sound cocky, but I spent some time practicing beforehand. I went on a word doc and just kept typing numbers a few times. I also practiced breathing techniques so that I wouldn't let nerves get the best of me when it came to the challenge. AND I also played some mantras in my head to remind me to stay focus and not eat into stress. My mantras include "slow and steady wins the race" and "take a deep breath, go with the flow, just do your best, and show what you know." I also gave myself a time limit as to how long I could spend on each part. I allowed myself 13 minutes to go up, and 17 minutes to go down. I wanted more time going down since by the end my hands would get tired and having little time at the end leads to stress/a potential mess up. So I'm glad I paced myself out with it. I was really scared that my challenge wouldn't count at first because my internet froze up right as I was ending. Luckily, I took the time to take screenshots with time stamps on them just in case something happened. Cause at first I was told "you didn't complete it" and that had me PETRIFIED!! Like I desperately need to win this otherwise I'm gonna get voted out. But luckily my screenshots came through and they accepted my score of 533. If I win this immunity, I have a good chunk of power in deciding who gets voted out. And on top of that, there's no immediate consequences for my decisions. From the looks of it, it seems like Autumn and Devon did really bad in that challenge. I'm hoping that Duncan doesn't do better than me. As for this vote, I think Duncan/Autumn are definitely going to vote together. Which means that I need Devon and I to stick together for this vote. If I win immunity, then I am 100% on board with voting with Devon this round. Autumn/Duncan are too strong of a duo and they need to be split up. Otherwise if we're still together on this tribe, I get the boot soon. I realize after this that I need to work on getting new allies in this game. If I can make it up until a swap, I think I have the potential to go far. I plan to make new allies with whoever is on the swapped tribe, and I'll mention that brains tribe is dead and if they need me to prove my loyalty, I'd be willing to vote out the other two remaining brains. We'll see what happens though. If Duncan does win immunity, then I might feel out to see if Duncan/Autumn are honest about voting out Devon and if I get the vibe that they are, I'll jump on that just to get myself to the swap. Ideally, I want Devon around since I know he'll be loyal to me, but this is a situation that is far out of my control. So, let's hope I win immunity this round!

Are all the Socotra people going to leave or like…? RIP Isaac truly, what a king! I am completely expecting a swap soon just because it makes tons of sense numbers wise? I hope we don’t because I have footing on this tribe which doesn’t happen usually so ghfjdksla

So after results, I’m mentally preparing myself for a swap because it WOULD happen yknow? Well this new twist? Has me gagged, gooped, shook, quaking, and confused all at the same time so yay for that! But yeah, it seems we’re having a nice little triple tribal feature tonight so get your popcorn folks cause the show is about to start! This twist does have me sorta shook just cause 3 people are leaving this round and we’ll be at F15… so in my head, this only confirms the fact that someone is gonna come back in the game at merge cause why wouldn’t the hosts do that? Well, I’m keeping an eye out for it all (and for Selener ofc)

Did I want to win this immunity challenge? Yes! Did that happen? No! Is that a bad thing? Honestly, not really! Like I am not the type of player that likes to be on people’s radars whatsoever so not being a winner of this game’s first individual immunity challenge is not something I can particularly mad about! Amir winning is cute like I love that for him <3 Adam did have me spooked that he was winning because he kept mentioning slightly high numbers BUT him and I did about the same so yay for us! While this vote is gonna be messy most likely, I do feel pretty secure and safe? I hate that I feel that way because I stay being caught off-guard when I feel that way but I’ve really focused on getting to know everyone here and letting the strategy come later so yeah (‘:

okay so today was about tying up lose ends. I had to clean up anything that could be used against me, and the main issue in my game right now is that i have built a great relationship with adam and i want him to stay, but my alliance does not want him to stay. My options are to save him with my idol, or convince my alliance to keep him, however, both could completely destroy my game. all 3 of them want adam gone, and its not worth it for me to go against all their wishes and it could make them doubt my loyalty, instead im going with the plan to vote adam out (i am so sorry u dont deserve it). However, i told augusto that adam told me about numbers at the bottom of the cast reveal. I realized that now there is leverage against me, that he or adam could use, so i have told the rest of the alliance about the numbers that adam found, hopefully to show them that im insanely loyal nejkwnfke even tho im not. But now, if i go againt adam, he has no dirt on me at all, and i can go through with the alliance's plan. Furthermore, I have a relationship with both austin and aj, so if adam goes, thats fine, ill just get closer to austin. Replace the relationship. Austin is also way less likely to lie or be a rat than adam would. if i could be swapped onto a tribe with duncan and autumn from the brains, i might just have to scoop them up! but i know autumn and ali are close

Me when I found out I won individual immunity at today's tribal and had the overall highest score out of every person in the game: https://media.giphy.com/media/1kIvUyWrdz88GKgtON/200_d.gif I was NOT expecting to do as well as I thought I did in that challenge. I expected to have won within my tribe, but not beat every single person in the game. i hope this challenge doesn't put a huge target on my back. I'm so happy that I won! Based on the mood of the camp right now, it seems like I needed to win. The only person who spoke to me prior to the challenge was Devon. Duncan's talking to me now, but I feel like it's only because I won immunity. I strongly believe that I needed this immunity otherwise I would have been voted out 3-1. Or at least a 2-2 tie if Devon is actually with me. But knowing that I play a major role in this outcome is a beautiful thing. If there was any tribal that I needed to be immune for, it would be this one. As for what I am thinking for tonight's tribal, I think that Autumn/Duncan are going to vote together this round. So this means that I could either vote with them to eliminate Devon OR I vote with Devon to cause a tie and have a tiebreaker challenge take place. Do I think Devon has a shot at winning this challenge? Honestly no... But I think voting with him has some added benefits. The first one is that it shows to everyone in the game that I'm about loyalty this time around. Secondly if he loses, it allows for me to make connections at a future swap. I can state that Autumn/Duncan are an obvious duo and that I have no allies. Showing off that look could help me gain new allies within the other tribes. Plus if Devon does win the challenge, then that's an ally I have going forward and I can state that vote as a move I made in this game at final tribal. Granted I've made moves so far in every vote during this game, but this is one that I can really emphasize towards me winning. But another reason I'm leaning towards keeping Devon is in the event that a swap doesn't happen and we lose again! By showing Devon that he almost left last round, I think he would 100% remain loyal to me for the rest of this game. However, it doesn't mean that I'm not open to hearing out other options. Devon does suck at challenges, so voting him out could be a good thing going forward. Plus I know for a fact that he's shady since he preached the same things to me that he said to Duncan. So I don't appreciate how he isn't being 100% truthful. Personally, I just don't trust any of the brains and need to jump on another tribe's bandwagon. I hope if I can make it to the swap that I can try to gain some new allies around here. Because I need people to make sure I get to the end. For now, I'm just going to hear everyone out and weigh out all of my options moving forward. I need to do what's best for Scottica going forward.

Whhhhaaattttt? Me uploading a confessional before 4 minutes before the next day??????? What a twist!!!!!! 

Anyways, the vote has come down to Devon leaving this round. Which doesn't surprise me, I expect Duncan/Autumn to not want to vote each-other out. Knowing that these two are unbreakable makes me want to work with Devon. But then Duncan also made the point that Devon comes off as the least threatening. Which is also true, he's the only one on our tribe who hasn't made it to the FTC yet. This has me thinking "let me talk to Devon about the tiebreaker challenge so he can figure out who he thinks he can beat" So I went into a call with Devon tonight basically expecting him to be down for a tiebreaker challenge against whoever he thought he could beat in the challenge, but ended up leaving the call actually wanting to vote him out because of how annoying he was throughout the whole call.... Me: "Hey Devon, Autumn and Duncan are 100% going to vote you out tonight. I will vote with you, but I need to know who you think you can beat in a tiebreaker challenge because if I vote with you, you need to win this challenge. Otherwise, I'll be public enemy #1 if you lose" Devon: "Well I think I could beat Duncan in a tiebreaker because he's throwing my name out there to try and get me out. Also, I've been completely honest with you this whole time so I hope that you'll vote with me tonight because I was going to go to the end with you. Anytime I was under the hot seat in Guyana, I made sure to win that challenge." Me: *looks at Guyana's wikia to see he won 1 immunity challenge and read confessionals about how he's a liar, a backstabber, and can't be trusted* The whole time he kept asking me who I wanted out and I'm like "none of the politics matter this round" Why? Because if it's a 2-2 tie, it comes down to how well you do in that challenge. Like I tried to tell this man he needs to bring his A game in the challenges. And he isn't even seeing that as a factor. Personally, I think Devon has a better chance at beating Autumn in a tiebreaker. Duncan performed better in all of the previous challenges so far. So the fact that he isn't really seeing this on a challenge performance level and more of a threat level shows that he doesn't see the severity of this situation. Chances are we will swap next round, so I can try vote Devon out and use connections to say "hey, I'm next to go on this tribe please align with me" in an attempt to get new allies. Plus Devon's paranoia really has me saying forget the whole tiebreaker plan and vote him out. UPDATE: I had to stop typing this confessional because Duncan called me to tell me Devon told him about the tiebreaker challenge and in all honesty Devon is a dumbass (sorry Devon) like his lack of perception in this game is TRULY astounding. Duncan and I basically spent the time bonding over his lack of sincerity and that Autumn is better for a swap. And with the performance he's putting on tonight, I'm ready to vote him out. I just have to hope we actually swap because if we do another tribe challenge and we lose AGAIN I know I get the boot. Also, I realize more and more that Devon really sucks at challenges and there's no way he can beat Autumn or Duncan at a challenge. So I guess I'm voting him out this round and then HOPING this doesn't come to bite me in the butt at the end. Sorry Devon. I wish I could have kept you, but you should have kept your mouth shut to Duncan & Autumn :/

... yeah I don’t think I can vote out Adam. Which is a shame because I made a promise and an alliance chat with Austin. But realistically Adam is a better player to keep around. He’s more easy going than Austin and more vengeful against the Brawn tribe which is definitely something worth keeping around. Also I accidentally just made an alliance with him. I really need to stop doing that before I start to face actual repercussions for my actions. Austin didn’t tell me his plans to vote out Connor so in my mind that’s sketchy as fuck. And I know he just got voted out of a game and I’d feel like a prick for voting him out. But we don’t have room for doubt in our tribe alliance. What if he’s trapped alone with Connor on a different tribe? Can we trust him not to vote for him? What if we merge and he feels the need to go off script? Will he just fuck off and do his own thing? And sure Adam most likely has an idol but he won’t have it forever. Sooner or later he’s going to have to use it and wouldn’t we be better off if he used it for us rather than against us? Then we can go in for the kill with his weapon down the hatch and our trust in his back pocket. Now I just need to express this to my teammates with out sounding like a psycho or a loon.

*sarah maclachlan playing in the background* hello ladies and gays, my name is adam, and welcome to..... my survivor funeral. In all my times playing tumblr survivor, the same situation has just ironically always happened to me, the very first tribal i partake in, my name ALWAYS gets thrown out there and i almost go home, but i somehow weasel my way out of it, and i think this time may be the one that finally gets me and stops me dead in my tracks this is gonna be a lot of tea so buckle up and get your teacups gorls, so basically immunity ends, i lose whatever i came close but ive never been one to need to rely on challenges to win, except maybe i did need this one, anywho after the challenges i go around and try to pick some brains, im hesitant about throwing a name out there but i did innevitably mention connor's name only to augusto/amir and austin mentioned voting connor to me first, i did say i felt disconnected to connor to austin first but i didnt say anything about voting him out first, anywho so im sitting here thinking...ok this seems too easy especially because i messaged other people aka augusto/amir and literally was getting no responses from them right away?? like im not an idiot, im of course assuming theyre plotting against me and normally im just being paranoid but NOT this time because AJ comes to me, because little does everyone know aj is definitely a friend of mine so he mentioned to me that kendall allegedly messaged this group chat they had the other day from the challenge i WILLINGLY sat out in, and was like "so obvious alliance without alex or adam and lets vote one of them out xD" like ooh ok you got me, congrats the only way you can play survivor successfully is by creating an alliance of circumstance that has nothing to build off of, its so frustrating the ONE time i really come into this game playing, like ive messaged and genuinely tried building relationships and for them to basically just all of the sudden be null and void over nothing??? it irks me i wont lie. It dissappoints me, and honestly upsets me. Im not an outwardly emotional person usually but im kinda upset over this? i know its a game and i shouldnt be taking it personally, but for me to have started building connections with people like augusto and amir and for them to just throw me down the river just because i wasnt included in their group bothers me. i guess i know its the name of the game, but what really upsets me is ive been TRYING and then theres people like connor who aj has said wasnt even ON the other group call for long at all and made no contribution??? but youre gonna vote me out.......someone who genuinely wanted to work with you people and am here to do so??? i guess on the bright side i can take some flattery if i leave first because aj said if they vote me over austin its because they view me as a bigger threat than him.....which they are 150% right to do so, however....they dont know im a threat!!!!! like i said some of these people havent even tried to get to even know me so how can you try and make conclusions about me already?????? AND YALL ARE REALLY SO DIMWITTED YOU THINK ID WORK WITH JAKEY ON THE OTHET SIDE BECAUSE I KNOW HIM???? what part of i voted him OUT last game, he NOR i have played since which shows you how traumatic it was, like i know he's against me already so im 100% not wanting to work with him. but guess what, if by SOME miracle i survive this tribal, and i would really need a miracle, if a swap comes soon i am 100% going to flip because augusto? dead to me. he can stream jlo for all i care. amir? sorry to this man who i barely know and tried to work with because we had a brief tumblr history together, which i barely knew him then either, clearly i made the right call not associating with him often, kendall, she's perhaps the fakest of them all, she basically messaged me and when i said what were you thinking she said "ive heard austin and connor but i DONT want to vote austin" so in my mind i know its really me or austin so good job, you just told the person you want out that you want them out. my plan now is to simply try to survive right now, and if that means having to vote austin out its what im gonna do, but aj himself has told me amir/augusto would be open to working with me had i proposed some type of alliance to them, so thats my next plan, i hope i can make them want to work with me over kendall/connor, and the 4 of us form a REAL alliance, and if they want austin ill vote austin, at this point i switch into flight or fight mode and as much as i love a good fight, i have to keep my claws put away for this one,  no one knows how BAD i want to just call out all of this tribe for lying right to my face and keeping me in the dark for no reason other than a pure coincidence, if they vote me out ill tell them off as i walk out of course, but i really dont want to blow up ajs game and i want this plan to work.... so ive got to shut my big mouth right now and try to outplay as much as i would like to just outscream them all right now.. anywho, its not looking good for me. i have about a 45% chance of survival i feel like, so send me all the positive energy you can because a bitch needs it, god speed yall and ill see you on the other side one way or another...

ugh one last thing i forgot......if im really voted out first and get that cirie hvv treatmeant because in my mind i just WANT to be her.......lets omit this time! no need to update the wiki, we'll press delete and pretend this moment never happened because thats how im going to treat it especially these FAKE ass PHONY ass people. FRAUDS. all of them. like i get it, im a fake bitch at times obviously like thats the game but im not used to people being fake to ME like it hurts especially when you think youre feeling real bonds with people..... i- lemme not start going on and on again. im not a quitter, im a tough cookie, ive had way worst problems in life ive figured out on my own and luckily im not completely alone with aj unless he's just been playing me which then OUCH that would hurt 1000x more but i genuinely dont think he is, at this point i trust him with my life in this game because i feel like he's my key to staying. i need him, and i need augusto/amir, even though they've hurt my feelings and i want my revenge, i have to compose myself and play my cards right, this is a war, not a battle, and while i may lose all at once, i have to play the move i think will most best keep me here one night longer ...  

oh gorl ok i promise LAST ONE i just have to get this off my chest! ok so, after thinking about it and smoking a nighttime bowl i'm less UPSET about the possibility of me going home first on the beauty's and now i'm just more confused, augusto did message me back and was saying he'd be interested in my proposed alliance however he could easily be lying to me since he's been lying to me already this whole game however i have no choice other than to try this hail mary, i also think i'm gonna try to plant doubt against kendall because she directly told me she was basically voting me out, so i'm gonna go around and tell people she refused to vote austin out, because she did say that, and hopefully they don't just give in to her bidding. i can't really be mad, we won't be singing amigas cheetahs tonight, but i'm gonna turn my frustration into work, i see multiple scenarios in my head the moment i start to feel the one i'm in is heading south so right now my only chance of making it through is pushing this alliance and testing the connections i've been trying to build, wish me luck if i hear something good from amir there might be a glimmer of hope? probably not but i'll absolutely try just for the good edit of a dramatic tribal dahling 

So first off, fuck Skype. Because if Skype wasn't a laggy ass bitch, I would have won that immunity. But it's fine because I don't think I'm going anywhere just yet. It's been very refreshing to have multiple people come up to me and say they want to work with me. Like Jakey obviously has been the person I've been able to talk to openly since Day 2. And I knew Dan and I had a mutual bond that would allow a good amount of trust, so it was nice to see that become much more evident when he came to me to talk game. Now I have Jordan and Ali who both said they want to work with me / guaranteed not write my name down. And Liam is hardcore pitching to me and actually making a lot of sense. So now even though I thought I would go for Liam this round, I actually think I may push for Lovelis to go. It's a weird thought that the person I just finished a game with would be the one I'm going to probably vote tonight, but it may make the most sense for my game. I admittedly also don't think everyone voted out is going to get eliminated. My guess is one of them survive and then we have a swap with 2 tribes of 8, but we shall see!

It’s tribal time y’all! My alliance (me, Amir, Kendall, Connor) had the idea of adding AJ to our circle as it would be super easy to do so as we all are in a challenge chat together which is nice. I do really like AJ now like we’ve really connected these past few days and have had a little duo-bond going on so this 5 person alliance is the best chance for us to get even closer in a game-sense. We all went on call and discussed the topic of Adam versus Austin. While AJ and Amir would prefer to keep Adam, Kendall prefers to keep Austin. I’m genuinely on the fence because I like both of them and they both like me a lot? I tried to rationalize it in a game sense of Austin is slightly more transparent and easier to read while also having a weird social game that would keep one of us over him in a swap scenario. Adam, on the other hand, is probably more dangerous long term as he could cause more damage and his relationship with Jakey is very up in the air in terms how it affects us in a swap. So for the immediate future, Austin would be better to keep around because of a swap but thinking about the long-term, Adam could be better as he could be a shield? It’s interesting like this vote really is about weighing instant gratification versus delayed gratification and seeing which helps us out more?

While on our 5 person alliance chat call, AJ ended up revealing how the idol system works which…. YAAAAASSS we won! A thing that concerned me is that he said someone had already found something which is likely Adam considering he had told Amir about the numbers thing beforehand? That is just my gut telling me that though but it’s something we gotta think about hmmmm… very inch resting.

Not Kendall and I making an alliance with Austin ghfjdsk, it FINALLY happened but it’s kinda silent so far? I’m kinda side-eying Austin as when I talked to him about the vote, he had only mentioned Adam to me whereas he mentioned Adam and Connor to other people so it’s like… do you REALLY trust me? I don’t really know anymore, it’s something to keep in mind though!

We had agreed on voting Adam and not gonna lie, I feel awful about it from a personal standpoint? I really really like Adam like we have so many similarities and common interests so I’ve really grown to appreciate our bond. Adam had mentioned making an alliance with me, him, Amir, and AJ and told me that he wanted to ask me how I felt about that before he told the others because he really values my opinion which made my heart cry. To make matters worse, he told me how he feels he can FINALLY experience a game where he has genuine people he likes to work with and cause damage like AHHHH I feel so bad because a part of me wants to keep him but my loyalty to my people is outweighing that? Like I do genuinely want to keep Adam because he’s amazing and I would feel awful voting him out because I think he’ll take it the most personally from me and I don’t want to be the cause of someone else’s pain/sadness ever yknow? Ugh, it’s just a lot and I probably seem like an emotional mess but I think I have to put more value in my head over my heart in this game and this could be a start? 

I went to bed sad about having to vote Adam today and I woke up to Kendall wanting to call me. We go on call and debate whether the fact we wanna vote for Adam to begin with and we were both kinda like… we honestly don’t? Not just because we like Adam but Austin is not being as transparent or present as we would’ve hoped so it kinda helps us make our decision for us? I did tell her about Adam’s alliance proposal because I also want to be as transparent as possible and even flipped it in a way that we can make Adam feel extra comfortable with a false majority so if he does have an idol, we can keep him from ever playing it. Not just that, but we can also convince Adam to vote Austin instead of Connor like he wants to by us falsely stating Connor helped out tons in the challenge and while he won’t be completely active, that’s to our benefit and not a detriment at all. We then got on call with AJ and he agreed with our points so yay for saving Adam? I’m genuinely happy with this especially since Adam does benefit my longer term game and I love him so <3 

I am SHAKING right now. It's obviously come down to either between me or Liam L, and it sucks! I didn't want to vote out Liam but my hand has been forced at this point! He's been on away all morning so I've made my move, trying to hit up Ali, Jordan, Jakey, TJ, even Dan (who answered me then went on away c':) I THINK I've done a good job of speaking as to why I'd like to stay? Jordan is keeping me updated and TJ said he will as well, so I hope they're telling the truth..

Since it's been awhile, there are a few things to go over: 1. The alliance between myself/Scott/Duncan/Autumn has been so successful so far. We survived three straight tribal councils after losing three straight competitions. We didn't waiver a single bit from one another and that is so rare in Survivor. 2. Going into this round, I thought my only chance was to enter a tiebreaker against Duncan and try and win in a competition. I pleaded to Scott for his vote, but he was skeptical. 3. With my back up against the wall, I confronted Duncan in hopes of flipping his vote. As a result, a chat between myself/Duncan/Scott was created. 4. As long as Scott/Duncan aren't playing me, this could very well be the fourth tribal council in which I survived with my name being mentioned in three of them. Slithering doesn't always work, but this round has been the toughest one to date. 

it's still day 9 and SO much more has already happened... i could be writing to you from the grave with this, but i think, maybe just maybe, i might have a shot at staying now. its so crazy how fast this game really changes, last night i was in a horrible mood (so SORRY  to everyone i dragged in my last confessionals my feelings were hurt and i was moody i take it back! especially telling augusto to listen to jlo that was just CRUEL. howvever it was because i thought it was game over me, i saw this major alliance form right in front of my eyes that i was on the outs in, and with the help of AJ, i was able to just maybe infiltrate and create my own counter alliance with some of the people from that majority who just might like me a little bit more. Even if i get voted out tonight, i can go out with my head held high now because even if these people are playing me, ive tried my best and attempted to make some form of a move even if the move is just saving myself, i wanted to maybe work with austin but however i dont see it in the stars for us anymore This is why ive worked hard on maintaining steady social relationships, this right here, because today i made an offical alliance chat with Me, AJ, Augusto, and Amir, and while i definitely still have my doubts about Augusto/Amir, right now im stuck with them. If i want to survive this vote, i need to see if i can trust them, if they are legit about being real to my proposed alliance instead of their other one, theyll vote with me tonight and we'll take baby steps and go from there. I absolutely have been playing the pity card, with all of them and even kendall. I'm making sure people think im just this nice funny person who wants to play the game and have a shot, which is true, but im willing to do anything to stay, its just funny to me how last night i was having a breakdown over everyone saying im a threat and wanting me out, and i didnt completely get it at first, but you know what if the vote really doesnt fall on me tonight and i somehow survive, then maybe theyre right and maybe i am a threat if i can help to flip this whole tribe in a matter of hours. I even begun platning seeds against kendall because i know she was throwing my name around and you most certainly wont get away with that sis. I begun telling people she refused to vote for austin, because she did, she foolishly told me that and now im gonna use it against her. I dont think I can pull off voting her out this round, i need to focus on saving myself, but just know she's awoken the beast and i have her in my future sights. pray for me yall, im playing every single card i can in what could be a hopeless last ditch effort. But i think my odds of staying may really be going up, unless these people are just THAT good at being fake then....they got me gal. 

This tribal council is really about to raise my blood pressure huh? Its crazy cause I am quite confident I am not going home tonight, I would say most of the tribe as well feels that way and most i think should. As far as im concerned Myself, Dan (whose immune duh), Ali, Jakey and even TJ knows that its gonna be one of the Liams. Liam is aware that hes at risk cause hes been innactive and is throwing out lovelis name. Lovelis, I think doesnt know hes at risk, which is dumb cause he has not had a good social game so far and just thinks its easy on Liam. It might not be though, Liam has been ramping up his game a bit to try to stay safe (my advice to him of course) and I think it may be working. Obviously I know I can trust Liam and in most other circumstances i think I would work with him without question, however because this is a main season and he played in survivor jordan pines, its such an easy link to us that I just worry how it might affect ME down the road. Obviously if I can keep Liam safe tonight I will, but I am not fighting a hard fight to keep someone who may eventually be a detriment to my game whereas lovelis could be a lot of different possibilites. Im unsure where the road goes now, I think I am gonna call with my alliance of Ali Jakey and Dan later to try to think of a name, we just need to make a decision between the two already so I know which i should be priming up to be a goat for me and which I should cut loose haha.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LHsOiuD0RNMuor24fzziE04b_iTVsFRD/view?usp=sharing

okay so my video confessional is uploading but i think liam lovelis is doomed! he seems like a king but he needed to put in work to stay this round and i dont think he did unfortunately :(

well, in a sick turn of events, we did NOT swap tribes! in fact we were punished for god knows what as all tribes were required to go to tribal, so immunity was individual! the challenge itself was HELL and i am not going to talk about it other than the fact that i literally could've won if i didn't fuck up the second time. thankfully amir won, so i'm happy! going into tribal, however, i was in the mood to vote either austin or connor. i've kinda connected with everyone else on the tribe totally to the point where i don't want to vote them off right now, and while both are amazing, i ain't really CLICKING with them like that. but to be fair, they both have outside priorities like work and school so i can excuse the lack of conversation. i assumed initially that it was going to be a matter of no one wanting to step on any toes, so there'd just be a bunch of "oh i haven't heard anything yet" and beating around the bush, BUT kendall swooped in and declared our challenge chat from the last immunity (which consisted of her/me/augusto/amir/connor) an alliance, to which we all agreed. obviously i wasn't gonna turn it down! these were people who i really vibed with! it just sucks that someone like adam was a victim of circumstance and isn't able to be able to be apart of the alliance. we all (bar connor) hopped on call to discuss a vote and while it seemed like austin was gonna be the initial vote based off of what everyone was saying, ADAM ended up being the target that night. i played along and just went with it but i knew i had to do something since i wasn't gonna let adam go out like that. i tried to wave the caution of a potential idol play by bringing up the tomb system and how i cracked the code (per adam's hard work), but at the time it only pushed that vote further! we were under the impression that adam was throwing around connor's name, but on the contrary it was austin from what we've gauged. adam went to augusto i believe and brought up that he's heard connor, which only could've came from austin! this is where the conversation itself started to take a turn, so the vote went from adam to adam(?). everyone dispersed and like 5 minutes later i called adam DJKALSJFKJ. i had to let him know what was going on! he, of course, began panicking and started plotting on how he'd bounce back from this and i was a little weary at first. one thing i didn't want him to do was throw me under the bus or snap, it wouldn't his or my game for that matter. so i suggested he try to craft an alliance with myself, augusto, and amir. while he doesn't really trust the latter and plans on flipping in the event a swap comes, i knew that it'd be way harder for the vote to NOT be adam if he put them in this kind of position that austin isn't offering them. i went to sleep and when we woke up, kendall proposed another call! thankfully, she suggested flipping to austin, to which augusto and i agreed, because honestly adam does NOT deserve to be the first person gone from this tribe. so like that the vote went from adam to austin and things were pretty cemented, with it not changing as of the time i'm writing this. we're currently under the impression that austin is voting connor, which is fine since we got connor's blessing to keep his name out there since we DID here it, and it's best to keep adam feeling safe. ugh the way i was expecting a HEADACHE this morning if things didn't start the change like oh brother... bless up. p.s. chrissy hofbeck let me DOWN. i love that queen but she replied to my dm for the first challenge which was almost over a week ago today?! wow chrissy. 

So we're just a couple hours until tribal; essentially the whole tribe has agreed to do Lovelis at this point, and now somehow Lovelis knows that Liam had been targeting him. A couple people think that Ali is the reason why, but there's a chance it was me who actually is at fault because I confirmed it to Lovelis after he asked a second time, but I'm not going to full out admit that there was a chance that it was me (other than explaining the first half of my convo) because people doubting Ali is actually going to be kind of decent for my game. Ali is a huge threat moving forward and I trust Jakey, Dan, and Jordan more than him at the moment, so if it poses some doubt... it may not be the worst thing in the world. Russell hat might be out today ;)

okay so i have a video confessional uploading but i unfortunately think liam lovelis is going home! i love him so much he is so lovely, but i think he didn't put the work he needed to, to stay. would love to work with him in a different game, in a different situation but am sad it wasn't to be. i love my brawn men and i'm SO SAD that we are probably going to be separated. also im so sick and alyssa is gonna wonder who the old crone wheezing on call is and its me

So I won immunity hehehehe we love being masc and winning comps. But anyway I’m happy I’m safe going into the triple tribal. It’s all I really wanted. Should be an easy vote. Lovelis is just like not around enough. And he’s connected to TJ, so it will be nice having TJ somewhat to myself without distraction? That’s probably not actually the truth but let’s pretend it is. 

Adam wants to make an alliance with me and Augusto and Aj, but like, fuck. It’s too late. The 3 of us are already with Connor and Kendall, but Adam is being genuine and honest with us and it’s just really sad that this is the way this has to go down. If I was in his position I’d be so sad, so it’s making this game hard, but the logical part of me knows that eliminating him at this moment is the right move . I haven’t played these games in almost 3 years, and I know that you have to be a predator in this game, not prey, and you can’t let your emotions stop you from positioning yourself as best as possible. Do what u gotta do and feel bad later ! But for the record, I do feel damn awful for this , sorry adam

What in the fuck I literally woke up and my alliance wants to KEEEEP ADAMMMMMM KDJDJDSNSJSNKDNDKDDNDND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CANNOT TELL IF IM HAPPY OR PISSED OFFFFFF I can work with Adam, and I can be tight with him, but the alliance known that Adam told me about numbers on the blog and i made ppl think he has the idol, so as long as Kendall Augusto and Aj don’t spill those beans to Adam, him staying is still okay in my game, this just puts me in a slight risk zone, it’s a loose end And I don’t really know how to go about it I’m not gonna try and convince them to remove Adam when he obviously trusts me Kendall is a damn crackhead I love her tho like in a weird way I really do trust her??? I feel like I can read her pretty well I literally can’t go to sleep without my alliance changing fucking everything I CANT SLEEEEP ever again huh Chile... tbis is our first vote and I’m ??  

is it against the rules to go to my alliance members houses one by one and jump them?

Amir u stupid ass bitch... dipping my hands into too many cookie jars i got close with adam and then distanced from him cuz he was leaving and now i got to get closer again cuz hes staying. but adam likes me and augusto the most on the tribe i think me and augusto are the closest with everyone on our tribe and that makes him my biggest social threat, but hes also my closest ally so like this is good at this stage, we have a lot of pull

okay so this twist is crazy and i'll like properly articulate my thoughts tomorrow but all i want to say is everytime autumn messages me i get such a rush of seretonin - wow do i stan her.

These are my pre-triple tribal thoughts https://youtu.be/18jIBeTw_lY

Well well it seems these bitches haven't got rid of me yet. I don't feel they will give me a chance to actually be back in the game but I'm gonna fight my ass off to try. I love the game and I dont go down easy.  I'll kiss ass or do whatever I have to do to save myself . Tumblr survivor gods please please please be with me 

hey you guys its me adam and im coming to you from the survivor afterlife because they succeeded and just voted me ou- wait.... wait a minute, wait what?? the hator beauties DIDNT vote me out?????? GORL i am counting my blessings that my dumbass somehow survived the first vote, ESPECIALLY after finding out my name was not only thrown out there, but that it was a LOCKED plan. Literally sent me into a whole tizzy and caused me to doubt my self worth because i felt so bad about my gameplay but BITCH, i still got it. Yes, the rumors are true, you CANT kill a bad bitch. MANY THANKS TO AJ. I absolutely give credit where credit is due, if it weren't for aj telling me about the plan to get me out, i never would have played as hard as i did today, before i went to bed last night i basically talked to everyone, kendall/amir/augusto and was just making sure they all heard me out, i played up big time that i wanted to just be here for the team, and how BADLY i wanted to be able to play with loyal people, especially when i made the alliance chat for me/amir/augusto/aj because aj told me they did say theyd be open to an alliance with me so i think me doing all that and then of course aj's impact from the inside definitely lead everyone to change their minds and so then today the plan was shifted to austin i didnt want to vote austin honestly, but at that point it was me or him and my instincts always are fine with it, AS LONG AS IT AINT ME. PERIOD. They absolutely made the wrong choice though, because especially LEARNING all the information i did, ill never trust a single person on this tribe again, except aj, and i will absolutely be looking for the cracks and to possibly flip in. also after tribal , we got bombarded with this twist, SOMEONE IS COMING BACK FROM ONE OF THESE 3 TRIBALS???AND WE'RE ON A ONE WORLD BEACH NOW??? gorl its time to get to WORK, immediately upon entering this beach with everyone, austin messages  ALL the beauties swearing he wants to work with us still if we bring him back- but then goes and messages EVERY other person, and here's the best part- INCLUDING THE OTHER PEOPLE VOTING TO COME BACK IN AJFSDKH LIKE WHAT HE ASKED DEVON TO VOTE HIM BACK IN I WAS SCREAMING austin, thank you for showing the beauties we made the right choice, and hopefully we pull it off and you dont come back, sorry nothing against you though!!! im immediately leaning towards bringing devon back, because well the brains are just not really a threat at the moment and the last thing we need is braun gaining a number on us. Austin also told me my name was an option for the vote from tribal, which i completely was aware of but had to act like i didnt know because i didnt want aj exposed, HOWEVER now that austin has brought this up i can freely mention it to whomever now, so i immediately bring it up in my chat with amir/augusto and lemme tell yall.... ive never heard a silence quite this loud. whats wrong? yall dont wanna be honest with me about having a whole alliance just to conspire to vote me out????? this was a test from me, i gave them the oppurtunity to come clean and they refused. it shows me i clearly cant trust them, but again, until i know what the hell is going on in this game now, im stuck with them until i can make a move against them. kendall also came to me saying "hey can i ask you something" so i go sure gal whats the tea and she asks me "was i an option for the vote because austin said i was" so i was like omg no! of course not!!! because realistically she wasnt, even though she absolutely shouldve been for daring to raise her tongue against me IM ONTO YOU SIS... i know exactly what shes doing, she knows austin is telling me i was an option so shes probably hoping by telling me that i wont believe austin, but silly girl, i already knew about all yall's trifling ways!!! anyway, send fucking help we need it, the beauties are the FAKEST group on this island. im having better conversations with people from the other tribes i dont even know during this one world twist... also was able to catch up with jakey....that was interesting, we always have great convos because like we just know each other so well, and he's acting like he's forgivven and forgotten about challengers vs. champions, but i know him well enough to know he's NOT going to trust me this game because well...if i were him i absolutely wouldnt trust me either, we're kinda like parvati/amanda in hvv. Ill keep him on my backburner, incase we swap and im with him i at least want a fighting chance, if i HAVE to work with him but i probably will end up having to target him because i know him all too well and how he plays, its dangerous for EVERYONE. (but mostly for me, which is what's most important) 

Of course it wasn't a swap! That would be too easy!!!!!!!!! No we had to make it as dramatic as fucking possible and vote some sap back into the game!!!! UGH Well, at least this gives us all time to scout out the competition. And believe you me it has taken a lot of will power to not compulsively make another alliance. I mean, I did, but like with Jordan Pines so that doesn't count. I have reunited with my Survivor Dad Scott, my pizza molester friend Liam, former Gorlley Duncan, and my former arch enemy Jakey. I say former but Jakey clearly doesn't see me that way. He still had me on block and allegedly the first thing he messaged Adam was if "it was safe to unblock me". Like dude, Neverland was 4 years ago get a grip. I mean yeah, I'm playing up the arch enemy aspect on my side but that's more for my own amusement/Adam's loyalty. I genuinely didn't have an opinion on him anymore. I mean, I do NOW but I assure you it is purely built on self defense. Admittedly, I wasn't on my best behavior during that time and I will apologize for it but damn dude keep my name out of your mouth. Speaking of people who won't shut the fuck up, we have Austin!!!!!! He has made a point to swear loyalty to Brains, Brawn and Beauty. Which I get you have only 24 hours to find safety but like do better. He also told Adam that we were targeting him at first tribal council, which is admittedly accurate but also incredibly inconvenient for the rest of us. Luckily Adam seems to hold us in higher regard plus I miggghhhhhtttttt have lied to him a wittle wit in order to make him doubt Austin. 9:49 PM Hey can I ask you a question? Adam, 9:52 PM omg of course 9:53 PM Was I an option for last tribal? Adam, 9:53 PM omg 9:53 PM It’s okay if I was but you have to tell me if my name was written down Adam, 9:54 PM absolutely not??? like im not even joking i did not HEAR your name once or even consider you myself and if anyone else did they never said it to me did austin tell you that? I know every season I'm very insistent on how evil I am but I genuinely believe this season I've crossed several ethical boundaries. Like damn, I voted out my first game ally, I tricked both AJ and Adam into thinking they are in a position of power, and now this bullshit? I genuinely hope that this doesn't blow up in my face cause it very well could but if it doesn't... well now I have a spare ally. So obviously Austin is not coming back under any circumstances. Which leaves the two other schmucks: Lovelis and Devon. Lovelis has yet to message me anything and Devon has been a fun conversation. So... as you can see this is going to be a very tough call. I am going to have to pray on it :/. What's that Survivor Jesus? You think we should save Devon? Ehhhh let me talk to Survivor Buddha first, I'll get back to you. 

just as much i know yall wish i would shut up these people CONTINUE TO TRY ME AND PUSH MY BUTTONS AND I CANT TRUST ANYONE CLEARLY SO I HAVE TO COME HERE TO RUN MY BIG MOUTH basically, i wake up this morning and while i know austin is just on a beauty tribe crusade throwing us all under the bus to try and get the votes back in, which i completely cant blame him for anyone considering we all did blindside him, HOWEVER i decided to message him again this morning and try and get some more tea out of him, i figure if he's hear i may as well hear him out now, in no way shape or form do i plan on voting for him to come back into the game, but i want this information for my own good, so i decide to ask him who all was telling him to vote for me and what was said, and he tells me that kendall, amir, and augusto all said my name AND that apparently they were calling me a rat too?? now, i know, he's desperate so he'll say whatever, but i firmly believe there's usually a little truth to every lie, so upon finding this out i decide im sick of holding it in, so i message augusto and amir to basically call them out. i wanted to play it very carefully because once again its a test of trust, are they gonna be upfront with me and let me know i was on the chopping block, even if they were considering voting for me as long as they told me, id possibly be able to move foward with them, but again, just like last night, i mention it today and i get LIED TO. augusto wants to play dumb and say "omg i never said that! why would i ever say that about you?!" well idk, why would you act like you're my friend and wanna work with me only to join a super alliance behind my back and make a plan to vote me out? he's lied to my face now more than once and so with that, CANCELLED. Amir at least told me he heard my name but guess what he obviously wasnt gonna do it, which is still a lie i know they all agreed to my name because of aj, but at least amir didnt completely undermine my intelligence and lie to me about it. THESE PEOPLE REALLY THINK IM ADAM THE CLOWN, ADAM THE FOOL, ADAM THE DUMMY WHO CANT FIGURE ANYTHING OUT, WELL GUESS WHAT BEAUTIES. I DID. i completely feel like sandra on the villains tribe, i cant STAND these people anymore and what annoys me more than them lying to me, is them thinking theyre clever enough to trick me with this stupid ass lie kendall made up about how austin was saying the vote was on her like gorl plea we still have a few hours on this one world beach, so i decide now is my time to START planting seeds to make my move. i have to be extremely careful here, because while the beautiues have completely enraged me and awoke the beast within, im absolutely gonna return their fakery with absolutely fraudulentism. yall wanna lie to me? ok game on, ill lie 10x as hard to you now. i obvioulsy want to just blow my top and make them feel stupid because i know theyre lying, but i have to be smart, for all i know after this person comes back, we could very well head to our same tribes still, or i end up with a beauty majority and i need them to think im with them .. BUT GOOD GOD PLEASE GIVE ME A TRIBE SWAP, AT THIS POINT ID PROBABLY GET MORE STIMULATING CONVERSATIONS WITH TREES THAN THIS TRIBE. Whoever told them they were beautiful people actually lied to them because theyre all UNQUALIFIED to be on the beautys. at this point i want devon to come back, ive had nice little convos with him and im trying to talk to all the brains to be quite honest because, if it were up to me, i would absolutely flip and work with the brains if they would allow me to work with them because clearly i cant trust the beauties???? HELL, I MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO WORK WITH JAKEY IF HE'D TRUST ME JUST BECAUSE I OBVIOUSLY CANT TRUST THEM??? the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and at this point, the beauties are my enemy. im really hoping my big mouth doesnt get me in trouble because i could be talking to these brains and they very well could go behind my back to the other beauties and im voted off soon, but im hoping they just realize based on the convos im trying to have with them, that im absolutely open to flipping, the beauties may be the devil i know but id rather go home trying to make a move rather than just sitting on the bottom waiting to be picked off, and if the beauties think im gonna just be that person, they made a grave mistake in not voting me out then. If youre gonna throw my name out there, vote me out because i guarantee once i hear it, ill never trust you again. in conclusion, this video about sums up how i feel about the rest of the beauties: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_iM4Z8FkQg

Jeff Probst Voice: And meanwhile on One World Jakey teaches Kendall how food delivery works. djfadklajdkfajkfdjafklds; I feel like a bit of an ass. Me and Jakey talked it over, turns out neither of us entirely remember what our feud was about. We also agreed to be a secret duo while playing up our 'alleged" animosity. I'm keeping him at arms length because I don't entirely trust him but he's easy to talk to, and who am I to decline a free ally. Austin meanwhile continues to spiral further. I feel kind of bad honestly but not enough to save him. He apparently told Adam that we called him a rat? Which, we did a lot of things to Adam but nothing directly disparaging his personality. He's a really pleasant and nice person, he's so pleasant and nice everyone else in the alliance was super reluctant to vote for him while his name was on the table. Which was kind of infuriating at the time but now that we are dealing with this shit storm it's a nice quality. Devon is laying it on thick with me. He has said shit like "I'm rooting for you in the VL" and " I obviously want YOUR trust more than anything in this game" okay that one in hindsight could be a reference to needing a vote. On the other hand he's been very straightforward about not making any promises and I really respect that. It's interesting how everyone wants him back, including the people who voted him out. Which makes me curious, did they plan for this? Lovelis is still a non entity... tribal is in like an hour and fifteen minutes you think he'd pop in with a sup or something? In terms of the idol talk, Jordan and I have compared notes. I told him that Adam probably has it and he told me everyone on his tribe knew about the numbers. So... if we switch it up or go back we can double check and look to see if it's there. I don't entirely trust people on the outside. Don't get me wrong I get along splendidly with Brain and 4 out of the 6 Brawn players seem to enjoy my company. But my loyalty first and foremost belongs to the beauties. You know that, I know that, now let's keep them from figuring that part out. ;)  

okay so, i survived my first tribal. my anxiety was really acting up and i like astral-projected during it, but i survived which is what counts. i've tried to take today off because i dont want this game to be ali has an emotional meltdown the entire time and i think im doing okay. anyway SO liam lovelis went home and i really like him but its also like, he really was not putting in the work to stay, and i really respected Liam M's hustle! so it was what happened, and him fighting Liam M was kinda mean JASKDF like idk what he expected Liam M to do instead, it was just the way things shook out. okay and then we have this crazy twist.. the hosts really really said you are anxious? time to get anxious-er. so we are voting either devon, austin or lovelis back into the game. lovelis has fully gone ghost (at least for me), and i think he is kinda done with the game so i think its gonna be between austin and devon. i think devon is who is going to come back, he is handling this perfectly just chilling and being straight up. otherwise so the people i have spoken to since is: Duncan - a king!! he is one of my oldest org friends, he has a different energy now, am determined to prove to him i'm not annoying anymore - loved that he admitted to me he used to find me annoying Augusto - he is really lovely, already clearly MEGA social which is really scary! i like him a lot tho could be a good person in a swap Devon - seems like a king get good energy from him. think he is painting austin as messier than he is and is spreading the narrative of austin making deals but im not fussed austin- seems sweet but idk if he has handled this round right AJ - a king i like his energy!! but yes hopefully devon comes back and i get a good swap... that we pray for

This was such a simple game when I just had me and my cute lil alliance of 4 and that was just 2 days ago.So much has happened in the past 2 days. -Our alliance of 4 creates an alliance of 5 with aj included. -Adam makes a 4 person alliance of me aj and Augusto. - the vote goes to Adam and we all tell everyone it’s Adam, and then it’s changed to a Austin - Austin wants back and to end the beauties. Also exposed us to Adam -Devon wants to come back but brains also want him back, -Duncan wants to work with me -duncan is super tight with Scott and autumn and wants me to get close to them - I’m getting close to jakey, and building a bond with Jordan and dan. - an interesting dynamic is that Duncan doesn’t like Ali, Duncan loves autumn, and autumn loves Ali. - Adam and jakey are also at odds 

OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD I JUST ... HAD AN EPIPHANY AND IM PROBABLY BEING INSANE, but i think... i think that adam and aj are super close and have a final 2. The vote was originally adam, but the night after we told aj, adam compaigned hard and we all changed our minds. Furthermore, they both knew about the idol system. FURTHERMORE, adam was like "i feel like im missing out on so much" during the unscramble challenge but he had no way of knowing we were all on call. They both know l'shei, they both have the same emoji in their name, they both just replied to me saying something similar at the same time. It is basically all coming together in my head and long story short, we fucked up. Augusto, connor, and kendall have no idea how much we really fucked up but this all could be me making shit up but idk idk ahahahahahahhahahahhahahahaha we r FUCKED AJ HAS AN ALLIANCE WITH ME AND AUG KEND CONNOR IF HE TOLD ADAM LMAAOOOOO WE R FUCKKEDDD

WHEW this game, this game. Y'all have taken me on so many emotions in the past 48 hours I couldn't even stop to processing winning Survivor Reels lmaaaaooo. Y'all really had me do that ugly counting challenge, where I messed up twice and ended up with 5 points only for my Skype to stop working for a good 2+ hours. Then Scott won immunity, which meant I had to kill either my dad Duncan or my bb Devon, which was super darksided. THEN after all that and saying my dramatic ass goodbyes, y'all pull out a buyback??? https://i.imgur.com/kQ6umpV.gif BUT ITS OK BECAUSE NOW I GET TO KEEP BOTH AND THE DADS ARE STILL TOGETHER!!! Devon is staying and we been knew. You know I love him if I'm not even mad that he voted me so everyone remember this moment cause that's usually grounds for dismissal in my world. But ugh I'm so happy y'all don't even know. I've really hit it off with a few people too so I'm just feeling myself. I fucking love Augusto we are the same person no lie and I'm also a big fan of Adam, Jakey, and Amir. So even if I get separated from the dads, I can make this work. I'm ready to swap and I just gotta keep misting man after man which I can definitely handle https://media1.tenor.com/images/fe32b9e859965acabe245a41b77e2153/tenor.gif?itemid=4608580

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBquewn3tnw