#guy is thinking too much about being a lesbian to. not be.

[that-butch-archivist]

"LAS: That's the thing about being femme: you don't enjoy everything about being a girl. AH: That's right. You're always trying to figure out what part of female experience you're going to appropriate, and what part of it puts you in a compromised position. So you are constantly in an internal struggle: does this hairdo, this dress, this mannerism, this way of sitting, speaking, this eyeliner in any way compromise my femme position? Femme identity is as constructed as butch identity and not a lot of people talk about it like that. LAS: Can you talk more about that? AH: The difference between myself and many of the straight women that I know is that they think they are normal and natural. They believe in girl-ness, that girl-ness becomes woman-ness, and woman-ness becomes old-woman-ness. They believe in a gendered system that they flow through ... But my role models for being femme have been drag queens, because drag queens construct female identity. I look at drag queens and think, That's how I feel as a woman ... LAS: Drag queens and femmes both have that blatancy, that in-your-face outrageousness, and sense of being too much. AH: My femininity is about irony. It is a statement about the construction of gender; it is not just an appropriation of gender. It is not being a girl; it is watching yourself be a girl. I go to drag queens as my mentors and my role models because they were the ones who believed completely and passionately in their femaleness. The better they were as drag queens, the more they were completely 120 percent girl when they were in persona. They knew exactly the work it took to get there ... They could take the dress off and be the messiest looking guy in a coffee shop, but in twenty-five minutes could be the most ravishing beauty. They made femininity make sense to me."

An excerpt from "Gender Warriors: An Interview with Amber Hollibaugh," as recorded in Fem(me): Feminists, Lesbians, and Bad Girls and conducted by Leah Lilith Albrecht-Samarasinha. (Emphasis in bold my own.)

[autism-corner]

Hm

[moregraceful]

it was once observed by a dear friend that the hours in which i am most alert are like 7pm to 2am which probably explains a lot about how my posts get worse throughout the evening. but also sometimes i look at today where i was just sort of gnawing the couch all day until about 5pm when i wrote an entire fic in two hours and then another entire post about kaapo which to be clear took another two hours bc i had to chase links and explain my passions in a kind way and this was in addition to a church meeting. i would excel as the person who lights and then extinguishes lamps in the night

[mothbeasts]

i miss posting and making and engaging with ieytd content but I will be honest sometimes it feels alienating. as a lesbian.

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[vintage-bentley]

The worst part about fandom culture being majority OSA women/girls, is that they all just expect you to share their attraction for the male of the day. They fan themselves over these dudes and try to get you to join in and you don’t know how to explain to them that you literally feel nothing when you look at these men. At best it’s like looking at a nice painting and at worst it’s like looking at a wet diseased rat. It’s like grade school all over again where everyone is bonding over their boy crushes and you’re expected to play along or be alienated.

It gets even more awkward when they try to hide the fact that they’re attracted to these males by saying it’s “gender envy”, or claiming that they’re some form of “asexual”. And you just want to say come on, you’re clearly attracted to this man, say it with your chest and stop trying to find a way to get me to rave about receding hairlines with you.

[alchemiclee]

I think doing shipping through and aroace lens makes things complicated but also interesting. I think one reason I don't enjoy straight ships as much is because it's very rare for people write/talk about them with a queerplatonic dynamic. straight romance is so "normalized" in society, it's hard to get any other dynamic out of those ships from other people in conversation or writing. it's mostly always romantic. (especially when "guys and girls can't be *just* friends" is extremely common and has ruined mamy of my own friendships) but I enjoy a handful of a straight ship with that dynamic. it's just way more rare to see talked about than gay ones from my observation. anyway point is, more queerplatonic type ships and stuff please! those aren't explored enough!

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[morningmask27]

Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime

[faradaykay]

i'm the type of girl who will see two girls interact literally ONE time and then not let it go ever and act like that one interaction is sufficient evidence that they should get married

[two-person-job]

heyheyhey. do you guys wanna know a secret :}

[nuvomica]

sometimes i look at the whole Thing that western gay culture got goin on and just. man. none of that's for me bro idk

[horrorwebs]

why are men literally the fucking worst

[casiavium]

All of these "who has more anything gender!" polls are just. white man without extreme body builder muscles v white man without extreme body builder muscles. The gender is "masculine" stop pretending it's universal

[kaeyapilled]

. (tw heterosexuality)

[snekdood]

oh you want to force the label "butch" on to me? well looks like its time to go back to strictly fucking cis men