#It’s like they expect you to just magically develop attraction for some guy

[vintage-bentley]

The worst part about fandom culture being majority OSA women/girls, is that they all just expect you to share their attraction for the male of the day. They fan themselves over these dudes and try to get you to join in and you don’t know how to explain to them that you literally feel nothing when you look at these men. At best it’s like looking at a nice painting and at worst it’s like looking at a wet diseased rat. It’s like grade school all over again where everyone is bonding over their boy crushes and you’re expected to play along or be alienated.

It gets even more awkward when they try to hide the fact that they’re attracted to these males by saying it’s “gender envy”, or claiming that they’re some form of “asexual”. And you just want to say come on, you’re clearly attracted to this man, say it with your chest and stop trying to find a way to get me to rave about receding hairlines with you.

[gettinontopic]

This is so transphobic like what the hell is this

↓Screenshot↓

↑Screenshot↑

[Image Id: A large addition to a tumblr poat reading "Also if I'm going to be honest, passing as a man is also just easier than passing as a woman. The rules to being a man and passing as a man are much more lenient than being a woman or passing as a woman. Trans women have to worry about shit like "I need to wear an outfit that distracts people from the fact I have an adams apple, and not allow people to see that I have shoulders, and learn makeup and basically become a voice actor and etc. and maybe I won't be called a man today" (and if you pass too well and the wrong cis guy feels guilty about being attracted to you, you get murdered meanwhile if you're a trans guy and you wanna pass as a man, you gotta like have short hair and hide or remove your boobs and at this point you can already just go to the grocery store and most people will see you as a man. Once you get facial hair and a deeper voice, most people will just see you as some guy. Like I don't understand why transmascs insist on this idea that they could never really pass. Like the idea that trans man who passes is almost far-fetched. Weird as hell." End Id]

Lets upack this shall we?

1."Passing as a man is easier than passing as a woman"

No it's not. The rules to being a man and passing as a men as strict as lots of rules for women. Have you ever seen a cis guys who fails to pass? They're called names, theyre physically beat, and theyre often ostracized from their cis peers just as fast as any trans person. Cis boys cant even pass half the time by the rules they made. Quit fucking lying about men just magically having it so easy.

Your experiences as passing as a man aren't universal and if you've never passed as one what makes you think it's fucking easy?

Also god forbid you're a black man, or a black man who is into something deemed feminine. Shit I've seen guys call black men women for wearing a damn hair bonnet.

Oh not to mention I'm only a man to transphobes when they can call me a "dangerous black man" only to switch back to tryibg to detransition me by saying "you can just be a masc girl!"

2.Adams apple

While you have to hide yours, I have to wear shit that distracts people that I *don't* have one. Cause, and I know this is wild, if they expect you not to have one for being a women, what do they expect me to have for being a man? Hmm? And if you're a man who's adams apple never came in? I've seen them called girls to. Shit I've heard a guy called not manly for missing his, and he was still in puberty!!

3.Shoulders

While you have to hide you shoulders, I have to do whatever I can to have the.. small shoulders on men? maybe if youre in a "non manly" field like music or art, but I do gym work. I better look likeit regardless of the disability that effacts my muscles growth and development or I am called maam by every guy there. Which sucks btw.

4. Makeup and voice acting:

Trans men also are regularly advised to wear makeup that masculinizes them and do voice training. thats some of our oldest passing tips. thats litterally never been unique to trans women. what the FUCK kinda of implications are you trying to put out here?

5. Murder:

Hey did you know cis guys will murder trans men bc they were attracted to them and then found out they werent "real men" and then kill them. shit cis women also kill us if they find out they were attracted to us and we aren't their ideal man anymore. do u know how men who hear im butch and into women behave?

Fuck right the fuck off trying to tokenize the murder lf trans women while throwing trans men murders in the "that doesn't happen" bin.

6. How many times have we said short hair and no boobs dont fucking automatically gets us gendered correcly!! We have voices that have to be trained, we have muscles were expected to build,and some men even watch the way you walk to guess if you have a dick or not.

Listen to any trans men. any of us for five minutes. those things do not making an easily passing trans man fuck you for lying about our experiences as not a trans man.

7. "You gotta like have short hair or remove your boobs"

Untrue! just Untrue. we also have to preform the rules of manhood really well. ive seen beareded transmen clocked for like so many different other reasons and you wouldn't listen to those men if it would save all trans people lives forever. cis men constantly dig at other men presentation to keep each other in line. Its a regular for them.

Also: not all of want to pass with those features. I deserve to have long hair and not bind and still pass as a man and you suck for defining everything around passing.

8. I don't know why you insist on this idea that trans women never really pass without obscene work (when ive met trans women that admit they have it easy by throwing on a dress and wearing her hair down) and that all trans men who have ascess to transition magically do pass (When multiple of us transitioning have said we dont)

If we can't talk about the ones who don't pass then you kinda can just sweep away the idea we don't face discrimination or danger and that's getting us killed actually.

None of us have said we can all never really pass any who say they can't are usually speaking on their own experiences. Because you want us all to pass so bad you don't care that we don't, and that it gets us backlash and hurt.

Also, if you ever read this, kiss my black ass and go reevaluate what makes you think you should speak on experiences that aint yours as if you're the one with the Hard Cold Facts.

[minispidey]

02: Barbie and the Giftshopist.

Steven Grant x f!bimbo!reader. previous part. series masterlist. next part.

02. He's just Steven (and Marc, and Jake)

a/n: i'm not like fully knowledgeable of DID but i did some research! if u guys can give me some tips/ point out my mistakes, i'd be happy to hear it and edit. i just really do need some help 🙏🏻 i've never written a system before and i'd love to hear some advice

(series tags are open!) tags: @3zae-zae3

"Morning, Stevie!" you started calling him Stevie not even a week after you moved in. Sure, he hates it when Donna calls him that, but god did it sound so beautiful when you say it.

You two walk out at the same time everyday, bothered by some of the sellers on the street blocking the door "Excuse us." you say as they made way for you and Steven. A vintage pink corvette was your way of transportation while Steven chooses the bus, but you weren't in a rush today "Stevie! I'll give you a ride. Get in."

Steven blushed, shaking his head "No no, it's fine, love." hearing him call you love made you accidentally kick your leg up. You stared confused at your leg before turning your head towards Steven again "Come on." you pouted.

"I'm serious— oh, bollocks." he drops his keys by accident "I'm alright."

You drove by his side slowly "Stevieee get in. I'm not letting you take the bus when I have a car."

"It's just-"

"Is it because it's pink?"

"No! No, not at all. I don't want to be a bother, that's all." he sighed.

"Steven. Get in." you pull down your sunglasses "I'm not taking a no for an answer."

"Yes, ma'am." seeing you so serious had him flustered. Maybe it's a weird kink he developed after knowing you were a lawyer.

He sat in the passenger's seat and buckled his seatbelt. You smiled at him before fixing your sunglasses "Okay! First stop, the museum."

Steven knew everyone's going to stare at your pink car. He just never expected so many people turning their heads towards you too. You were beautiful and radiated beauty and sunshine, you were an attention grabber.

He just imagines you in all pink in your firm, in a room filled with blue and black suits. He thought it was cute.

"Do you have like, a license? You can take my car on my days off."

"You don't have to." Steven shook his head "Really, you're too kind."

"It's alright! Whatever makes your life easier." you flashed him one of your bright smiles "I can drop you off every day if you wanna. I'm not as busy anyways."

"Take the offer, Steven. Beats having to cramp in every day." Marc says from the reflection of the right side mirror. Steven shook his head before turning towards you "It's fine, love."

"Come on. Rent's hell. Let me save you some commute money, okay? I may be fashionable, but I can be such a cheapskate-" the car comes to a sudden halt as you snap your head towards a shop window. Steven was pushed forward but thankfully held by the seatbelt "What's wrong?" he breathed out.

"What time do you have to go to work?"

"Before ten. Why?"

"It's eight. Do you mind making a short stop with me?"

Shop assistants surrounded you as you worked your magic "Ooh, and this one. Do you have it in pink?" you giggled as you slipped on another heel "Okay so like, the trick is to ignore the assistants." you whisper to Steven "They'll sell you anything in full price. Head straight to the expensive ones before slowly going to the ones on sale."

Steven nodded as he listened to the advice you gave. He felt a bit nervous as you spoke to the shop assistants, you seemed so confident as well. In contrast, Steven felt fairly awkward and he was just observing how you interacted with the people around you.

He was very intrigued by the way you were trying on shoes, the way you were talking about it with the shop staff— he couldn't explain what exactly it was that he found attractive about you, and it was slightly annoying him.

"Chica está loca..." Steven looks at the full-length mirror, Jake was staring right back at him. He raises an eyebrow at Jake "She's crazy. I've never met a girl who wears so much... pink."

Steven was about to talk back when you pull him to the counter, swiping your card and taking your shopping bags "Okay, so like, I got fourty percent off. I have a loyalty voucher." you two made your way back to your car, stuffing your bags in the back "Thanks for coming with me, Stevie. Well, you didn't have a choice anyways."

"It's alright, really. It was... fun." he smiled at you, getting inside the car "Never really shopped with anyone before."

"Really? Not even with friends?"

"Don't have any."

"Aw, how come? You're so fun to be with."

Steven's heart skipped a beat. He stared at you with bright eyes as you drove. He felt his face heat up. When he turns his head to face the side mirror, he finds Marc judging him.

"You've just met her, huh?"

"Shut it..." Steven mumbled under his breath, looking away from the mirror. He watched you, still smiling as you drove. It was like you weren't real, like you were too good to be true. If he had known years ago a woman like you existed, he would've searched for you everywhere. But you landed right outside his flat.

"I don't think I can pick you up after your work, training interns and all." you stopped near the steps "I'll see you later, Stevie."

"You don't have to, it's really okay." he blushed "I'll see you around, love." he got out of your car, looking back at you as he walked up the steps. You pushed your sunglasses down and waved back before driving away.

After an exhausting day, you drove back at 1 am. You shoved your files in the back seat with your shopping bags and rested your face, your signature smile falling from fatigue.

The streets of London were quiet, only the crickets' mating call filling the cold air. You rub your eyes, some of your mascara rubbing off "So tired..." you sighed as you turned the car to the right.

Though your sleepiness immediately went away when you spot a ridiculous ugly-patterned shirt. It was Steven walking back.

"This late?" you whispered to yourself. You sped up a bit to catch up with him "Stevie!" your cheery voice halted the quiet night.

His head turned towards you, a scowl displayed on his face. Though his eyebrows softened upon realizing it was you.

"Don't they have buses out late? You poor thing. Get in." you smiled as you unlocked your car, allowing him to enter.

"I should've totally given you my number. If I only knew you'd be out late like me I would've picked you up." you let out a yawn before continuing "I'm not that busy, I swear. Like, I'm a lawyer but I know how to manage my time."

As you went on and on, Steven just sat there and listened to you.

You parked your car and stepped out, trying to get all your shopping bags in one go. But Steven stepped in and helped "Aw, Stevie, thanks so much!" Steven looked exhausted too.

You talked more in the elevator, detailing how frustrating your day was at your firm before walking to your doors.

"-and he was like no and I was like totes! And he was like noooo and I was like, definitely!" you giggled "Whoever said orange is the new pink is totally disturbed."

You unlocked your door and let Steven in to set your bags down. He went to step out afterwards when you pulled on his sleeve "Thanks so much again, Stevie. You are like, too good to me. We should totally shop again some other time! Goodnight!" you placed a kiss on his cheek before closing your door.

He froze in place, staring at your door before unlocking his own door and getting in. He breathed in the cold air before walking to his fish tank, feeding the two fishes before his vision focused, looking at his reflection on the glass.

"Marc! What was that?!"

Marc looked back at Steven "It's nothing."

"Back off. I really like her, okay? There. I said it."

"You kissed my wife and your crush kissed me on the cheek."

"I said I was sorry."

Jake spoke up, appearing from a small mirror "You like her? Dios mío, that woman wears a lot of pink. What is it about her? Is it because of the car? I have a limousine."

"No! She's- she's really nice."

"Be more specific, amigo. Nice isn't how you like someone."

"Enough." Marc shakes his head "Steven, if you like her then go ahead. But just don't get attached."

"What do you mean?"

"I have Layla— we have Layla. I'm married to her. You can have a crush on your little neighbor, sure, but it's not like you can date her."

"Marc... come on, I have my own life... we have our own lives. What if I decide I want to date her? What if I really really like her, you know?"

"I don't know." he sighed, scratching his eyebrow "It's gonna be complicated, you know that."

Steven let out a sigh, looking down "I-I know... but I just... I just really like her."

Jake on the other hand was deep in this own thoughts. Marc heads to bed when Jake fronts, taking over the body. He cracks his neck before walking out and knocking on your door.

You were just about to take off your makeup when you head his knock. Your fluffy pink slippers squeaked as you made your way to the door, opening it "Stevie? Did you miss me already?" you giggled.

"Do you want to go out with me?" Jake put on his best performance, speaking in a kind of shy British accent.

"Out? Like, a date?" you blinked twice.

"Yes."

Jake understood now. He saw the way your eyes sparkled and your blinding smile "Oh my gosh, yes!" you squealed before covering your mouth, looking side to side across the halls, worried you might've woken up your neighbors "Yes. Let's go out. Uh, maybe lunch? I'm free."

"That's alright with me." he nodded.

"Alright." you couldn't help but smile like a fool "Goodnight, Stevie."

"Goodnight..."

After closing your door, you silently screamed, jumping up and down in excitement. Your exhaustion suddenly disappears as you start planning out your outfit for the morning.

[melrosing]

How do you think Dany will get along with the starks (Bran, Sansa, Arya, Rickon, and Jon)

I think in theory she could get along really well with all of them - but it’s a story so I guess I can only imagine there’ll be some friction somewhere down the line, whether that’s upon initial meetings or further along.

w Jon specifically it’s murky because we don’t know what he’s going to be like once he comes back, so you can’t really gage Dany’s chemistry w a character you can’t anticipate. I imagine him coming back as like…. angrier and more hard-headed, but I don’t think the rest of his story would work if it robbed him of all heart. like Beric still has a tenderness about him as he’s died countless times. so in any case, would imagine the two don’t get along perfectly to start with: Dany finds Jon a strange sort of guy who doesn’t go out of his way to accommodate or appease her, and maybe Jon thinks Dany’s quest for the iron throne is a vanity project compared to what he has on his hands. I do think they’ll become a couple, so presumably they overcome initial impressions to achieve a dialogue and then become closer…. but the whole undead Jon thing really sticks in ur teeth lol like I have NO idea where this couple is headed together. where’s this going george

for the Stark sisters, I think both would naturally be attracted to Dany’s character but it’s only to be expected that they’ll have reservations of their own? Dany has a negative opinion of House Stark owing to Ned’s part in Robert’s Rebellion, whilst the Stark sisters may remember what the Targaryens in turn did to their family. then there’s also the fact that neither Stark sister has had the kindest encounters with queens so far, so I think it would be normal if they’re troubled by a new player arriving out of left field?? but as I say I think both Stark girls would admire Dany: Sansa would think Dany is like some kind of platonic ideal of a queen and I think develop an affection for her as she does Margaery (only more bc she could be surer of Dany’s authenticity) and likewise Arya would be in awe of Dany and all she’s accomplished and hero worship her as she does Nymeria. and Dany is a found family kind of girl who I think would be naturally delighted w two new lil sisters. but all of that’s complicated by the context - this is a story, things get lost in translation, there’s a war going on (actually there’s several), etc etc. so as i say there may still be a great deal of scepticism between the three of them.

Bran and Dany….. I mean Bran is a similar case to Jon. I don’t think he’s going to return as some kind of human computer as he does in the show - Bran’s sweet nature is such a key trait of his, it seems it defeats the point of the character to do away with who he is as a person to better accommodate his powers. and I always saw D&D’s doing this as simply a betrayal of the fact that they’ve never known what to do with Bran, much less once magic is involved. but he’ll still be operating on a separate plane to the other characters and I can only assume the way he engages with Dany will be based on what he sees of her future. and idk what that future is, so like…. idk lol. I do also tend to think that Bran will be one of the last characters to arrive at Winterfell (if indeed that is where he spends TLN). Bran supposedly knows all, and you don’t really introduce a character like that until the others have had time to puzzle it out by themselves. otherwise (per the show) you just have bran coldly watching from the sidelines. anyway, in neutral circumstances i think Bran would get along w Dany as he does everyone, and Dany would adore him in turn uwu

and finally Rickon. tbh I think he will just be pestering her for rides on Drogon and then if she ever obliges he’ll start pestering her for a second ride

[ramlightly]

The silliest thing about writing this weird romantic fantasy? adventure? erotica?? like Temptations is that I come up for a concept for the story and then I have to go "hm, but how do I make this sexy?"

Be warned, self-indulgent ramble ahead

But it does get me thinking how so much about Temptations, by the nature of being a story about sex, everything become sexy? Such as someone on the patreon talking about the The Shadow Demon illustration, how Basil was attracted to the creepy shadows around you, and, yeah, there is an inherent eroticism in that. Or how overwhelmed Basil immediately is when coming to Hell, where he's so easily overpowered by the beings around him. In the story itself, I directly compare the She-Wolf's desperate hunger to Dandelion's lust. For Basil, the idea of being wanted, so fully and desperately, is greatly appealing even if it means being eaten alive.

It makes me think about the quote ""Everything is about sex, except sex: sex is about power." (which, btw, is a harder quote to cite than I expected. People attribute it to Oscar Wilde, but I couldn't find where he apparently said it)

Haha, talking about my own work like this feels so pretentious and naval-gazey, but it's ultimately more about how powerful framing can be, how different writing erotica can be. When I was first thinking about what a story, it was going to be a lot more along of the lines of monster-of-the-week Father Basil getting into a Situation and having sex with some various Hell creature, to the point where I reluctant to think of it anyway else.

But the longer I actively worked on it, the more it developed into something else. Eventually I realized this was way more of a character study for Basil, how his own understanding of himself is slowly breaking down from his experiences in Hell, and how it would be much more interested to keep him from having sex as long as he himself could stand it. It is about temptation after all! Sometimes it's just hotter to watch a guy squirm in his own repression and horniness! To watch him to be coaxed, embarrassed, and teased! To eventually admit he wants and loves and desires, even if it's with a weird shadow demon!

Anyways, this is a long ramble for me to rationalize Father Basil being in love with an literal magic shadow can still erotic and suit the story actually. I'll stop now, because this really became long but I'm chilling on a sleepy sunday afternoon.

[indigos-stardust]

four swords doodles I've accumulated (28 drawings of varying sillyness)

feel free to ask me for context lol (tw last image has blood but not well drawn lol)

red and blue^

detective red^

shhhhh he's in disguise...

hes very good at being in disguise

i love green^

like I really love green

i try so hard to not be biased to drawing vio when he has such fun shapes

red, vio, green

expectations vs reality

boy band group but they're all depressed

green loves Hatsune Miku propoganda

red eating dandelions

sigh vio he lost the bet so now he has to be cute "oh you're a great actor vio!!!" "I'm literally aro ace"

blue is so attractive, everyone ^^

red on a hotdog cuz he's my lil ketchup n mustard <3 <3 <3

blue doesn't like winter

uh ohhhh

ig shadow just really likes depressed people (its ok guys he's just cooking them in evil magic he's not gonna eat them, probably-) reds in the cupcake, green is in the bottle, and vio is just being his cute depressed self in shadow's pocket

when you manage to steal the groups depressed emotional support twink

one day hell be chubby, but for now he's just.... :) having some character development >:) he's not ready for healing lol

meep

im sorry for this one actually, but the PARA S I TEE

COLOR??? MOTION BLURR???? GREEN BEING STUPID??? more likely than u think I love green just being stupid as hell

blue spray hosed him in the yard and put him with the laundry afterwards^

vio tapping the glass, trying to study the fourth wall

owh no!! he fwozen <:(

whoopsie daisy

[jishyucks]

Gloves & Dittany (Teaser) ‣ cyj

‣ pairing: slytherin!yeonjun x gryffindor!reader

‣ genre: fluff, hogwarts!au, idiots-to-lovers (on reader’s part), sorta slice-of-life

‣ teaser wc: 1.1k

‣ final wc: expected 11k+, currently 9k

‣ summary: ❝Sure, your heart might have skipped a beat or two because of Yeonjun, but it was just a momentary flutter, a reaction that didn't hold any significant meaning… Right?❞

↳ Alternatively, where Yeonjun’s flirtatious nature leaves you no choice but to doubt his evident feelings for you and, in turn, dismiss any emotions you may be developing for him

‣ warnings?: reader is just,,, confused all the time, prob poor attempts of 'flirting' bc idk how to flirt, side characters may potentially be more entertaining than the mains, otherwise nothing really!

‣an: first long yeonjun ficccc,, I'm excited! this has been sitting in my docs for so long too,,, the teaser might be a bit boring just cause i don't want to give it all away just yetttt—it's just an intro to the pair!

‣ tags: @flowerjun (let me know if you want to be tagged!)

Over the years you've spent at Hogwarts, your love for Herbology has blossomed into a deep passion. Contrary to what your peers say about the class being boring and useless, you believe they couldn't be more wrong. Herbology is an underrated and misunderstood subject that offers unique elements not found in other classes.

At first glance, certain plants looked welcoming, but from what you’ve learned, the most attractive herbs can be the most deadliest. This could even work the other way around. Growth patterns of the plants can directly affect its magical properties, which explains why the professors created emphasis on the care for plants. 

Although Herbology looked like any other ordinary subject at Hogwarts, there were a lot more layers to its content. You suppose this was the reason why you grew to love the subject.

“What’s the difference between you and those flowers over there?”

Enter Choi Yeonjun. The main reason why advanced Herbology isn't the perfect class for you, and you mean that in the kindest way possible. Yeonjun is something else. While you hope to simply enjoy the class, he sees it as an opportunity to engage in endless conversation. You once joked with him that his voice could win a competition against a mandrake for being the most ear-piercing, but, surprisingly, he took no offense to this. 

To make matters worse, a significant portion of his chatter is dedicated to shamelessly flirting with you. Despite months of this routine, he always finds new ways to keep things interesting, and you have to admit, it's quite impressive.

It was strange how all this had even started. You and Yeonjun were only familiar with each other because he was childhood friends with your fellow house member, Changbin. But after an encounter with the pair at Hogsmeade, Yeonjun started becoming quite adamant about making his presence known to you. And regardless of his motives and advances, you’ve, since then, been choosing not to indulge in his actions.

If you were given a knut every time someone asked you why you never gave him a chance, you’d be rich. Hell, you’d be bathing in galleons if you did, because this was Choi Yeonjun we were talking about. The one and only Choi Yeonjun who could practically steal hearts without the use of some silly charm pulled straight out of a textbook. He was reasonably one of the most attractive guys in the entirety of Hogwarts and his personality was one to adore, so you weren’t surprised with the persistent interrogation of those interested in him.

Though every question was worded differently, each one becoming more and more creative than the last, you hit them with the same, lazy explanation that you knew never left them satisfied.

“I just don’t see him in that way.” 

Yeonjun stands by your side, hands comfortably nestled in gloves, which completely disregards Professor Longbottom's instructions that the gloves were not necessary for today's class. He looked ridiculous being the only one wearing the heavy-duty gloves. You hold back a laugh as your gaze follows his pointing finger, which leads you to a cluster of asphodels.

You look up at him, “One is an accessory to a deadly sleeping potion.” You’re cleaning up your area, making sure dirt is only where it was supposed to be. 

“Y/N, c’mon~” Yeonjun whines, “Just play along.”

“Okay,” you huff, “What is it?” 

Yeonjun stands quietly for a short moment, lips pressed together, “Now you made me forget what I was going to say, but it was something about you being pretty.” Yeonjun turns to put some pots away, leaving you unamused.

Although Yeonjun continues to make such advances, you admit that his playful personality was endearing. Just a few months ago, you regarded Yeonjun as nothing more than an annoyance, constantly looming around even when unwelcome, sort of like a wedgie. However, as time passed, you couldn't deny the odd bond that had formed between the two of you. 

Just recently, you had reluctantly admitted to yourself that he’s grown on you to the point where you realize that the day would feel incomplete without his babbling. On a good day, you might even consider him your friend.

When Yeonjun returns, he flashes you a smile, “Do you have any plans for the weekend? Maybe I can take you to Hogsmeade.” He bends down slightly and reaches out, “You have a bit of dirt on your nose.” You feel his finger graze your nose for a quick second before it’s back at his side. 

“I’m afraid I already do,” you hummed. Since the period has ended, you grab your belongings and take your leave. With no surprise, Yeonjun is trailing closely behind you. 

Yeonjun’s lips were moulded into some sort of pout, brows furrowed, “Maybe the week after?” 

“I have plans that week, too,” you say promptly, though you weren’t even entirely sure if you did, “Sorry, Yeonjun.” 

Yeonjun narrows his eyes at you but you don’t catch him doing so. Instead, you’re dead set on finding your best friend Yena by the courtyard. Before Yeonjun could let out a sigh, he takes a big step forward and spins so that he’s facing you. Yeonjun executes this with ease. He’s quick on his feet and the next thing you know you’re walking into his chest. 

“Don’t apologize.” Yeonjun grabs your wrist and swiftly pulls you to the edge of the hallway so you both aren't blocking the stream of students, “There’s always another week…” He pushes his lips towards one side of his face, eyes looking to the side. He was deep in thought, “Maybe you can come to the final game of the season? I know your house isn’t playing but it would be nice to have the support… I’ll even let you wear one of my extra uniforms… maybe some facepaint?” Yeonjun’s eyes light up at the thought. 

“Yeonjun,” you say sternly. 

“As a friend?” Yeonjun’s head is tilted to the side, brows knitting as he brings his lips into a pout, “Please?” His eyes pour into yours, making it hard for you to avoid his gaze. He’s waiting intently on a reply. 

“I’ll… think about it,” You stall. 

Yeonjun smiles, satisfied with your answer. Before he speaks up once again, he hears his name being called from across the hall. It was Wooyoung. 

“I’ll see you later, beautiful~” 

You groan and call out before you’re out of ear’s reach, “What did I tell you about pet names, Choi Yeonjun!” 

Yeonjun turns to acknowledge you, but instead of saying anything to excuse himself, he sends you a wink before reaching his friend. 

As expected.

°•. ✿ .•°

pls remember that this is a teaser and I'll be posting the full fic soon! thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist!

[piro-piroooooo]

Thoughts about Tokyo Mew Mew (2002)!

Tokyo Mew Mew is my most recent anime watch. I watched it to expand (even more) my magical girl knowledge. It was never dubbed to Latin American Spanish (as far as I know), so there's no element of nostalgia to my feelings about the show. Also, I hadn't developed object permanence in 2002, so I wouldn't have been watching anime anyway. I haven't read the manga or watched the newer version. I watched around two episodes, but I didn't like it enough to continue.

In short, I didn't love Tokyo Mew Mew. Mostly because I am not part of the target audience. The plot, the dialogue, it's all kinda flat and designed to be easy to follow for children. I believe it might be better enjoyed if you are around 11 or 13 years old. Under the cut, you can read some specific thoughts I had about the things I liked or didn't like.

Thanks for reading!

-Let's begin with the stuff I didn't like: the art style. Colors are way too saturated. The chimera anima creature design looks rushed... The proportions of the characters are inconsistent. Sometimes their eyes and hair are huge. I don't think the Mew Mew costumes are ugly, but they aren't pretty either. They are ok. The girls have appealing enough designs. Now, the guys. Damn, aren't they ugly? What do you mean the girls are constantly blushing or having crushes on these guys? None of them have appealing designs. The only one who is nice to look at is Aoyama.

-Again, the plot and themes are quite superficial. There are hints of deeper themes that never get developed. They want Zakuro to be an emotionally intelligent character, but most times she's only pointing out obvious stuff that the rest of the characters are too stupid to get. She had a point when she mentions how they are being forced to be Mew Mews, but she ends up joining the team very easily and the topic is forgotten.

-The guys, again, are so creepy sometimes. I am not even talking about Kishu, he is supposed to be creepy, I know. I'm talking about the blonde guy and the butler guy whose names I didn't care to learn. Especially around the episodes that revolve around Ichigo turning into a cat. What do you mean they are just allowed to say they will 'help her de-transform'? Ugh.

-Now, things I'm neutral about but want to mention: I really thought the blonde guy and the butler guy would be gay for each other. I was expecting a Touya/Yukito dynamic from them. They even had to have an episode making clear the butler is attracted to women. Haha, funny.

-One detail I found satisfying is that the passing of time is consistent. In one episode, they are celebrating Christmas and some episodes later they are celebrating Valentine's Day. Nice.

-The opening and ending songs are cool.

-I didn't love it, but I still liked it better than the newer version.

-Things I liked: Aoyama! The concept behind his character is really cool. It wasn't executed in a particularly good way, but I really appreciate the ideas behind it. His design is so generic and inofensive that you think there is no way he'll be relevant to the fight later on. They even foreshadow Deep Blue a bit when Aoyama expresses his slightly eco-fascistic views on humanity. I like that he admired Ichigo the same way Ichigo admired him from afar. His monologue about being bored and tired of pretending to be a perfect kid to avoid disappointing the people around him… unexpectedly relatable and sad to be in this show.

-Also, Ichigo and Aoyama's relationship is very wholesome. No drama, no misunderstandings, no secrets kept for long to create cheap drama. It felt refreshing to watch a romance between two kids just trying their best to be good to one another, and creating conflict for them in other ways. Very nice.

-Zakuro is the coolest Mew Mew, Mint is my favorite, but Pudding is the best. Sorry Lettuce, I kind of don't care about you.

-Mint is my favorite because she is a mean, spoiled, rich girl who learns to accept that she wants friends, to be loved, and to fight alongside others. And my brain just automatically roots for those kinds of characters. Mint even gets to telenovela-slap the main character to remind her of what is important. I have to accept it… that's cinema… Also, she's a lesbian.

-Pudding is the best character. That episode where she's sick, and it's revealed she provides for and takes care of her siblings all on her own… It's probably one of the best episodes of the whole show. It reframes how we met her as a street performer asking Ichigo for money. Ah, and she cries while asking the nearest adult if she can call her mom for a moment… Again, unexpectedly mature coming from this show.

And... I think that's all! Thanks for reading if you made it this far ^^

[chellyfishing]

So I’m on the last book in the villains & virtues trilogy by AK Caggiano which I am absolutely loving and I just real quick wanted to talk about something the author has been doing that I think is so cool and I’m putting it under a cut mostly because it’s sexual in nature (oblique references to SA also):

The conceit of the book is that we have our villainous bad boy, “Damien Maleficus Bloodthorne” (these books are VERY self-aware) and a good girl named Amma, and they are forced together by The Circumstance and despite initially clashing they end up developing feelings for each other.

In the first two books we learn about a villain Amma knew in her previous life before meeting Damien, and while it’s never discussed explicitly or any amount of detail, the two had a sexual relationship that was dubiously consensual at absolute best (that’s the “person who treated her like an object” mentioned above), and there’s a scene in which he outright attempts to force himself on her. That guy is from the jump unequivocally a villain. He is charming to others but in private he is cruel and violent with Amma and we want him gone.

With Damien, however, she’ll frequently find herself in situations where he has to boss her around or tie her up (honestly one of my favorite scenes, it’s so funny) and she realizes she’s actually super into it. And here finally the author really highlights why this is surprising and puzzling to Amma: why is it okay with Damien when it wasn’t before?

And the reason is because by the time Amma has become attracted to Damien, she knows she is safe. She knows, for example, that when he ties her up he’s not really tying her up, she’s not in real danger, but illusion of it is there, and that’s what she finds thrilling. A man actually being controlling and domineering, a man who disregards her boundaries and lack of consent, is terrifying and horrible. A man she knows by this point is actually kind, will not hurt her (…not like that anyway), will not force himself on her, is actually very appealing even (especially) when he’s being a little rough with her.

Damien has the ability to literally force (via magic) Amma to do things but when he does this, it’s a violation. She doesn’t like it at all and the closer they get the less and less he uses it until he stops all together. But if he tells her what to do without the magic word, with her knowing she can refuse without being retaliated against, then it becomes fun and sexy.

Anyway I’ve just never seen an author really do something so deliberate and pointed like this before when it comes to ideas of danger and control in romance! She likes being dominated but in a safe and consensual way and when it’s not those things it’s portrayed as bad and horrible because it is! I love it!!

I recommend these books very much, they are so fun and funny, but I hasten to add that you shouldn’t expect explicit sex. Just as The Circumstance brought them together, it also keeps them arm’s length apart. The tension is real but there’s very little acting on it, though they get close occasionally. Mostly it’s just been a little kissing. I guess it would be classified as a slow burn? But I’m just realizing maybe I don’t know what that means? They haven’t smashed by the beginning of the third book is what I’m getting at, just a little kissing and some PG-13 tension and longing. He did say the word cock and where he’d like to put it at one point.

[kirisakiss]

About Hikari's love interests...

I'm gonna tell you guys about the long story of hikari's love interests, starting from when she was first created!

When i first watched Diabolik Lovers I was in love with Ayato, so since she started out as a self insert, Hikari’s first love interest was Ayato.

They were going to have an Edgar and Shu-like storyline, as in, they were gonna meet in the woods after Ayato ran away from Cordelia one day and they were gonna meet there, become friends, kinda childhood crushes, and then he would be forbidden to never go to the woods again. Then she would come back as a Vampire or something like that (i don’t really remember)

Then, for some reason, I started disliking Ayato? 😭 (i don’t dislike him anymore i love him mwah) So I got obsessed with both Laito and Kou,,,,

Hikari was still a self insert back then, so she just magically had started hating Ayato and dating his brother instead 😭, and with Kou they were just like really flirty friends.

After that i got out of DL for a few years, and when i came back to the fandom I turned Hikari into an OC and the whole lore about being turned into a puppet came to life!

I finally found a way to play Haunted Dark Bridal, and as Laito was my favorite, ofc i played his route first, and what i found was………. disappointing . Laito’s route left me heartbroken bc he was so fucking mean 😭 he had like zero development so i was like… oh!

Disappointed by my own expectations, I played Shu’s route, and i surprisingly fell in love with him!!! I just really liked the fact that he didn’t sexually assault the protagonist in the first day 😭

Despite feeling sad by Laito’s route i still deeply loved (and love) his character, He’s just such a complex being,,,,, i couldn’t just like, replace him?

So here we are today with them! Hikari basically has a crush on Shu (not really romantic at first, she’s just like “oh,,,, he’s so handsome,,,,,”) and at the same time has a love-hate relationship with Laito! (he annoys her a lot, and she can’t help but sadly feel attracted to him despite wanting to hate him)

With Kou, I genuinely don’t think they could work as a couple tbh…… I feel like Kou would just have a really possessive feeling with her because of their story, and maybe that would make him feel confused about his feelings? I have no idea yet tbh 😞

— Since i think it would be cool to develop her story as different routes, it would just depend on each different path! That’s why i think she could work with other people too, it just depends!

[mithliya]

Hello! Can you suggest to read anything (article or books) on comphet? Long story, I slept with men, but I didn't ever felt attraction to them. I spend nearly decade 'fixing' myself, bc my first ever experience was sexual assault and then another and grooming. And then men I tried to date dropped me like hot potato telling everyone I'm frigid, which made me ashamed. They treated me like I am defected, hinting I am mentally ill. For not acting like what women in porn act at damn age of 16 bc from watching porn they insisted they know on women biology! I did not have any sex-ed anywhere so I legit knew nothing on my own biology. I did not know I am not experiencing sexual attraction bc I did not know how it works! Just these men telling me I'm not like other women. Not passionate. Women just so happy insisted I am frigid bc of the assault trauma, but I can train myself with practice. And that it's natural state to date men and my mental health issues would heal etc. Include some threats of godly punishments. I had more horrible exp, and I only now begin to realize that while yes majority of my exp were forced and later brain repeating trauma in hopes to fix it with repeating, it was also traumatic bc I can't feel a shred of attraction to men. I was madly trying to date at least any men with 'oh maybe I will not be revolted with him, or with him, or with him, bc I need to fix myself!!! I can't live being that way!' Like, honestly, mostly anything beyond a chaste kiss on the lips revolted me, but I kept making myself endure it over and over in hopes that I will 'get used to it'. Bc I was told how I react is abnormal. I froze 99% of time and could not tell 'no' or 'stop'. I was terrified when I felt that revolt first time from a kiss with guy, bc I was expecting first kiss as the dream exp, but first one was assault from drunk adult on my 15yo self, and then second was willing, but revolt I felt was extreme!! But all media and culture told me it would be the most magical exp! And everyone around acted that way too! My life was crushed and I had no idea how to live with it. And I did not tell anyone for years, being ashamed of my 'defect', just obsessively fixing it. And when I did told, women my age or older told me it will be ok once I meet the right guy/ I can just get used to it. My health, life, education, everything suffered from the cptsd I developed. I mean, now I have no idea how I was able to do it, bc no pressure can make me repeat any of it. But I was so ashamed of being frigid. And was sure it destines me to die alone. I legit was sure I am abominated defected freak and later started to act that part. It took some horrible rape for me to stop and go 'ok I will be freak, I will die alone, I will not leave the house actually at all, bc I can't take it anymore' and only then I was able to stay safe of assault and abuse. It took me many years of therapy before I stopped being dissociated from my body enough to be aware I have attraction to women instead. And I honestly don't think I am worthy of dating bc I feel stained, unpure, and generally to ashamed with all these experiences. I mostly did that all myself to myself. Honestly my worst fear is people thinking I am bi, bc saying I'm bi would erase that decade of suffering of 'what is wrong with me' I asked for books or anything, bc it makes me feel a bit less crazy if i read on similar experiences? Some things I still struggle to put together and the level of pain I feel is extreme as you can imagine.

hey anon, i’m sorry you went through all of that. it sounds quite traumatic, some of it overlaps with my experience (not knowing what’s wrong with me, trying to “fix” my lack of attraction, being dissociated and disconnected from my feelings, not feeling the way other women felt about men)

i honestly don’t know any resources that would help you. around a decade ago, i stumbled across the term “comphet” from other lesbians and they were mainly talking about it like.. ignoring your feelings because you think you must be attracted to men, even if there’s no evidence of that in your life. the more recent sources i’ve seen into comphet & more traditional sources are often moreso aligned with political lesbianism so i dont think it’s that helpful to any actual lesbians. i’ll instead reiterate the points that resonated with me back then:

1. having to dissociate to be with a man (can also be a sign of trauma)

2. choosing “crushes” on guys mostly to appeal to your friends or fit in

3. not being able to have sexual fantasies involving men (this does not include flashbacks or intrusive thoughts, but rather actual sexual fantasies)

4. sexual interactions with men feel forced & are unwanted

5. you are unable to envision a future with a man

6. mistaking feelings of anxiety or fear or nervousness for attraction to men (could be trauma-related, i advise to look back to before your trauma & analyse how you felt)

7. you felt the need to use substances to be able to get through sexual interactions with men

8. you have had to convince yourself that you somehow like a guy and practically choose to make yourself like him, whereas it comes naturally with women & is out of your control

9. you pretend to have certain feelings for men to appeal to others rather than genuinely having them

10. building on 9, playing up a romance with a man for public image purposes

11. struggling to relate to other women when they fawn about other guys

12. having beliefs that all other women find women attractive & think men are gross, but it’s just your obligation to be with a man anyways (so it’s not something you want, but something you HAVE to do)

i cant think of others but honestly what i generally recommend is to think through your life, & especially in your case think BEFORE the trauma. it’s tough because the trauma was at a young age, but it can muddy things as there are bisexual & even heterosexual women who become repulsed my men because of trauma. so think of your life before then, did you have feelings for guys? did you have male celeb crushes? or were they only female? don’t think of how you pretended for others, think of how you genuinely felt about it.

the things you said to me do not sound wanted and it sounds like you were afraid to speak up and would freeze in fear (a common trauma response). but again, it’s hard to know whether this trauma response is rooted in having a traumatic experience prior to this or if it is rooted in sexuality. don’t feel rushed to choose a label either, it took me several years before i felt confident enough to call myself a lesbian & it took a lot of introspection into my own life because like you, i was deeply dissociated and disconnected from myself (partially due to trauma & partially bc of pre-existing mental illness). being in such a state for prolonged periods can make it hard to understand your genuine feelings, but it’s possible.

also my recommendation is also to not look through comphet stuff online lol because nowadays people use it to even mean that they are attracted to guys & sometimes want to have sex with them, it’s unhelpful and might further confuse you. i wish i could share the stuff i read in the past about it but it’s all lost at this point 😭 good luck anon, take care of urself & take ur time figuring things out!!

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

-For muns with multiple muses, past and present, on any blog.

Rules: Fill out the form according to which muse suits each title best. (The same muse can have multiple titles.) Repost and tag. Feel free to add more!

Tagged by: @astrxae ((Thank you! ♥ Tagging: I'm SUPER late replying to this so I'm not sure who hasn't been tagged in this? But @bells-of-black-sunday as a PRECAUTION

Favourite Muse: ---On this blog: Robibi: I love deep diving into the psychological torment of his existence, and how weird he is. Just enough off putting to be strange but not enough to cause any issues.

Most Character Development: ---On this blog: Robibi, but I think that's expected. If we're talking in total, Yoriichi; he's my beloved best boy and I will rant about him for hours if given the chance. There is a lot of lore built around him.

Trash Muse: ---On this blog: Abel, he's a bastard and I hope he knows it. Most of my OCs fall into a fairly gray category, but I'll say Sylas (an oc of mine not the league champ) is a pretty horrible person so. Maybe him?

The Meme-Lord: ---I'd say either Modern! Robin or Haruko, both are pretty funny when the chance comes, but I think Robibi is so fucking hilarious when he gets the opportunity to be.

Most Likely to Start a War: ---Abel.

Worst Personality: ---Abel.

Best Singer: ---Robin! He actually has a pleasant singing voice: Check it out!

Most Attractive Muse: ---Haruko, he's a relatively normal guy and is very pretty.

Biggest Heart: ---Brain wants to say Haru since I know Robibi can be rather cold in regards to some things? But then I think of how gentle and loving Robin can be so...! MM.

Falls in Love Quickest: ---None of them fall fast, but I think Haru would have the easiest time falling in love since he isn't some trauma-repressed revived dude or a demon.

Most Likely to Drop Their Phone in the Toilet: ---Modern! Robin.

Ice Ruler: ---Robin or Abel.

The Edgelord: ---I don't think any of them are particularly edgy themselves, like sure Robin has his soliloquies but 99% of the times when he's talking to himself its funny? Abel however...

Most Tragic Backstory: ---Robin, while not particularly wild, still very sad.

Best Case of Puberty: ---Abel, Haru is hot yeah but Abel went from a shapeless demonic mass into a 6'5" tall suave mobster who can swing dance. I THINK the choice is obvious.

Most Awkward: ---Modern! Robin

Busy Bee: ---Modern! Robin

Most Clueless: ---Haru: he ignores all drama unless it involves him or Tarhos.

Most Likely to Forget Their Wallet at Home: ---Canon Robin, his memory has declined quite a bit and he would forget a wallet since it isn't part of his usual attire, he'd just forget it existed.

Best Dressed: ---Abel for formal, for street fashion: Haruko.

Biggest Flirt: ---Abel; no morals over here.

Most Dramatic: ---Robin, all verses; his manner of speech just lends so well to this, and its hilarious.

Least Likely to Show Up Late: ---Modern! Robin, he has his pocket watch ready to go! Canon Robin as well once his memory gets a little better.

One with Weirdest Habit: ---Robin and his weird magic.

Most Likely to Be Caught at the Gym: Modern! Robin or Haruko. Haru is more likely to be caught rockclimbing while Modern! Robin would be more focused on kick boxing/strength training; he has some muscles in modern AU-- he can even lift Jhin and Danny!

[moviemunchies]

Alright, so I recently watched all four seasons of The Librarians!

Let’s talk about it.

The Librarians is a continuation of the TNT movie trilogy, The Librarian, about a super academic named Flynn Carson that goes on adventures with an attractive female Guardian to collect supernatural artifacts for the Library, a secret magic institution that’s a continuation of the Great Library of Alexandria, or something. The TV show adds three more Librarians-in-training, along with Eve Baird, a new Guardian, and a Monster-of-the-Week structure with loose overarching Plots for each season. The result is a fun little series with a likable cast.

Hey, you know this is from the same guy that made Leverage?

It’s a show that often feels like it’s trying to be an American counterpart to Doctor Who; this is especially noticeable in the third season, when there’s a musical theme that plays sometimes that sounds suspiciously like the theme for the British series. That’s not a bad thing, it just gives you an idea of what they’re going for here: a team that investigates magical occurrences in a building that’s larger on the inside, and have a magical door that can get them anywhere. And sometimes, there is time travel. And there’s some fun commentary/lampshading of urban fantasy tropes and ideas.

Acting is pretty great across the board. I am a bit frustrated, because it often feels like the characters don’t progress much? Flynn and Eve get some great character development, but the others have very slow arcs that don’t feel like they move in a way that’s satisfying. Which makes it a fun show to tune into week-to-week, but binge-watching, or looking for really deep arcs… well, I don’t know that it’s here.

This show is also not as smart as it thinks it is. If you follow the main blog, you may have noticed my comments on the first episode, with weird comments like Stone declaring that Camelot fell to the Goths, and Cassandra describing Enochian as “a mathematical language based on Greek and Hebrew”. These are nonsense “facts”, and the show is full of them. Season four has an episode about Santa’s evil brother, the “Patron Saint of Thieves”, which felt really weird because his image is clearly an icon of Saint Nicholas, the real life patron saint of (repentant) thieves–especially odd, because he’s plainly referred to as such in Leverage, created by the same man. And speaking of Santa, the show’s first season has an episode where we’re told that his original incarnation was Odin–one of those pop culture “facts” people like to recite on the Internet, but no actual scholar of folklore seriously believes.

But if you don’t take this show too seriously, it’s not really much of a problem. The original movies had these things too, what with Flynn and Judson casually mentioning that Judas was the first vampire. It’s not being condescending when it spouts this stuff either, like Iron Druid Chronicles does.

Also, Santa is played by Bruce Campbell, who is always good fun. So no, it’s not a deeply-researched series, but it doesn’t have to be, and if you’re the kind of person who expects deep knowledge from pop TV, uh… I don’t know what to tell you.

The end result is a show that’s a bit like popcorn. It’s not deep, even when it’s trying to be, but it is consistently entertaining. Which is a pretty good thing for a television show to be! I don’t expect this to be anyone’s obsession, but it’s not a bad thing to put on and watch if you need a show to watch.

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

Hey didn't you have a wip based around donkeyskin? I think that was you at least! If it is please tell us about your idea I'm insanely interested in hearing about it! If that wasn't you disregard this. 😅

It was me, yes! Unfortunately I haven't worked on it for years, so there's not much else to tell that isn't on the blog already :')

Here's the post with the most info, but there are some, uh, hypothetical changes I made in the years since. Hypothetical because I haven't been writing anything down lmao. Just vibes. (Ironically I've been more interested in the Swan Lake retelling set in the same world, except Rothbart is the good guy, because I'm obnoxious.)

General WIP notes/ideas under the cut. For those who are not familiar with the Donkeyskin fairy tale, (attempted) rape and incest cw!!

Rosamund Trevelyan, princess of [Kingdom]

Super hot, uncomfortably hot

Mom dies, warning her Dad's kinda fucked up and she should get outta there fast like super fast

Dad declares that nobody is good enough for Rosamund and that nobody else is hot enough for him, so marrying his daughter makes the most sense (a lot of monologues about him worrying about his legacy, Rosamund's """womb""" and being super racist against elves, which is what we in the business call foreshadowing)

Nobles are terrified he might kill them so they go along with it despite thinking it's very icky, but also they kinda get it because Rosamund is just so hot

Rosamund asks for a bunch of nigh-impossible magical stuff, which the King provides because he's just very desperate for incest

Including the "taming" of a hyperintelligent magical deer who Rosamund quietly convinces to help her and it takes pity on her and sticks around for her escape

King attempts to assault his daughter one night, and she escapes prematurely on her magical deer buddy, but is gravely wounded (lands on a wrought iron fence from a two-story drop) and expects to bleed out in the forest

Is found by a crusty old man who nurses her back to health

Not sure if he teaches Rosamund any magic or not, the initial idea was that she'd become a druid and have magic that required her to carve runes into her skin and "tarnishing" her pretty face with permanent scarring, but I felt that her not having magic + keeping her pretty face but being scared of showing it would be more in line with the themes I personally find interesting of the original fairy tale

Plus I like underpowered MCs now because it forces me to use my brain more

Old man dies a few months later, and Rosamund isn't a farmer and can't live on her own, but she's learned how to cook and clean and take care of the old man so she figures she can probably become a maid

She's more practical and survival-oriented so she doesn't mind working despite being royalty

She's so terrified of being found by her father that she looks for work in elf country, disguised as a random human farmer lady

Is quickly found by a quirky half-elf who needs an assistant

Quirky half-elf turns out to be the assistant to Prince Castan Oleander, who's the middle son out of three brothers, but elves don't follow human lines of succession so him being both sensible and popular compared to his brothers means he'll likely inherit the throne

(His younger brother Hyacinth is a beautiful pink-haired useless sack of shit and probably will be the Beast in my BatB/East of the Sun, West of the Moon retelling)

Castan is suspicious of Rosamund but has more important shit to do than care about surprisingly eloquent human maids

The initial idea with the druid stuff was that Rosamund would convince Castan to teach her magic and that's how they'd develop a relationship, so I haven't been able to replace that with anything yet aside from maybe him finding her exploring the castle library and reading shit that's way beyond a farmer's knowledge and them bonding over their love of enunciating

Rosamund is very attracted to Castan because he's a hot, poisonous (literally) purple-haired elf, but she can also tell he has zero attraction to her plain alter ego

Plus the trauma and fear of getting sexual with a man

However, she can't help herself and sheds her disguise for a couple of balls, using the magic dress her father got her to show up as a mysterious noblewoman

Castan is immediately smitten with her

Rosamund doesn't know how she feels about this because on one hand yay! He finds me attractive! But on the other hand, duh, of course he does. He thinks I'm hotter as a personality-less mysterious woman than as a know-it-all strict and sensible bookworm, who has so much in common with him but isn't hot enough to tingle his jigglies

Castan forces the truth out eventually and is also very conflicted because Betrayal but also I Fucked Up So Hard Without Realizing but also The Two Most Interesting Women I've Met Are One And The Same! Jackpot!

Oh um and Rosamund's cover has just been blown, and in order to avoid war with [Kingdom] she must return home within a certain amount of time oh no the drama!!

Uuuh that's about it? It's kind of a simple story at its core but it's got some very heavy themes (despite my flippant summary) and a lot of things I'd need to get just right, hence why I haven't worked on it.

I do still love the characters (Rosamund is my most dignified and least girlbossy girlboss sad wet blorbo and I love her) and the fairytale and I want to write it eventually, but I also want to, ya know ... Do it Right.

Hope this satisfied your curiosity, Nonny! And thank you for asking! ^^

[darkandstormyart]

Xicheng fic recs

(figured i might make a list of my own)

(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)

in no particular order:

Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight

“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“

post-seclusion lxc

trying to get jc to sing

bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before

cute

Always use protection by hesselives

“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.

Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”

bodyguard au

honestly just really intersting worldbuilding

Rewrite the stars by Arashii

“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“

ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU

enemies to lovers!

flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod

No paths are bound by Arashii

“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.

Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“

TGCF AU TGCF AU

ghost king jiang cheng come on

doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers

jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves

once upon a dream by cafedeolla

“Xicheng soulmate AU

An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“

soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution

misunderstandingssss all over the place

now with a squel (in progress?)

Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi

“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.

With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“

have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered

adorable xicheng

good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren

ongoing <3

Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly

“One day.

Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”

now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!

mermaid!lxc need i say more?

Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly

“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“

done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang

yoga instructor Lan Xichen

Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that

If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart

“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).

So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.

***

[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”

superhero au, come on

jc just trying to do his job in peace

(he can’t)

i love it so much oh my god *sobs*

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart

“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“

there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology

actually one of the first xicheng fics i read

i chose it because there were mermaids

painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics

kids! lots of kids!

Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart

“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“

Harry Potter au!

just really fecking cute

lots of snakes

[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes

“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“

done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang

uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe

heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?

slowburn xicheng being lovely

The Provenence of Hope series by velithya

“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“

got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~

A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112

“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“

a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews

good grandpa lqr!

canon but fixed and less painful

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair

xicheng getting together through the years

friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way

Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya

jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance

i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13

two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do

haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously

““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai

**

Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“

it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(

i will tho

Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13

“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“

Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar

“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel

gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around

[therealvinelle]

How do you believe Carlisle feels about Esme? How would their break up go? Would he ever cheat on her? I mean like emotionally?

He loves her.

I don’t doubt that his feelings for Esme are genuine, that he respects and cherishes her and wishes to spend his life with her. Esme, too, worships the man.

My complete lack of faith in this ship comes from the fact that they’re together for the wrong reasons and not compatible. 

The Bad Beginning

Carlisle had spent centuries searching for likeminded, he never did. In the end he succumbs and starts creating his own, first Edward and then Esme, and to his joy they both agree to do the diet.

Esme’s transformation was entirely an impulse on his end. He saw this delightful, vivacious young woman he’d known ten years ago lie broken and dying in the morgue, a Jane Doe declared dead, she was all too easy to steal. She was too far gone for him to have time to think it over, and so he went «alright let’s do this. I imagine it seemed rather like God had sent her to that morgue specifically. We learn from Midnight Sun that romance wasn’t on his mind at all (even if it was, that wouldn’t make their marriage more functional) and he expected nothing of her. He bit her because he didn’t want Esme Platt to die.

Esme, of course, wakes up into this new life under surreal, heavenly circumstances. Her child is still dead - but here is the mythic, pedestaled Dr. Cullen, now her savior and more wonderful than ever. To back myself up with the books:

Esme had already been in love with Carlisle—much to his shock—but not through any mystical, magical means. She’d met Carlisle as a girl and, drawn to his gentleness, wit, and otherworldly beauty, formed an attachment that had haunted her for the rest of her human years. Life had not been kind to Esme, and so it was not surprising that this golden memory of a good man had never been supplanted in her heart. After the burning torment of transformation, when she’d awakened to the face of her long-cherished dream, her affections were entirely his. (Midnight Sun, chapter Bloodtype)

Carlisle, on his end, hadn’t had the idea at all until Edward said “Dude, she’s into you, go for it.”

I’d been on hand to caution Carlisle about her unforeseen reaction. He’d expected that she would be shocked by her transformation, traumatized by the pain, horrified by what she’d become, much as I had been. He’d expected to have to explain and apologize, to soothe and to atone. He knew there was a good chance that she would have preferred death, that she would despise him for the choice made without her knowledge or consent. So the fact that she had been immediately prepared to join this life—not really the life, but to join him—was not something he was ready for.

He’d never seen himself as a possible object of romantic love before that moment. It seemed contrary to what he was—a vampire, a monster. The knowledge I gave him changed the way he looked at Esme, the way he looked at himself.

More than that, it was very a powerful thing, choosing to save someone. It was not a decision any sane individual made lightly. (sic)

I’m not entirely void of authorial intent - I get that this was supposed to be romcom where the cute nerdy guy has no idea the girl is interested. 

But, what I see is that after centuries of being alone, never finding anybody who shared his values, Carlisle finally has these two people who share his ideals, the only two in the world. He’s had countless friends, but it never worked out because of that damn diet. But, now he has these two people, and one of them is a beautiful, kind, wonderful woman who’s in love with him.

I imagine falling for Esme was easy. It was just so perfect, simply by being Carlisle Cullen he could make her happier than any other man, and given their shared diet, he wanted her by his side always, just as he did Edward. And this was it for him, really, to Carlisle Cullen Esme might as well be the only woman in the world because she’s the only one who'll share his lifestyle. He also felt responsible for her.

I don’t at all doubt their sincerity or affection for one another.

However, they did not fall for each other for each other’s sakes. Esme fell for the ideal since childhood, and Carlisle fell because she was perfect. Stick them in an AU and it won’t happen.

The Slippery Slope

Where they run into trouble is firstly that Esme doesn’t share these ideals, nor value human life for its own sake. Now, I’m not asking her to be a saint - but over the course of these books we had some lapses that I find pretty damning. 

She wanted Edward back in Forks, when this would almost certainly mean the death of Bella Swan, simply because to Esme having Edward nearby > a person’s life. This wasn’t the case for Carlisle, he made it extremely clear he wanted Edward to leave.

During the “Kill Bella?” vote, she was in favor of whatever meant Edward would stay.

Carlisle, having failed to get anywhere with talking sense into Edward, sends him home to his mother for an intervention. What happens next is that Esme gives Edward her blessing to eat the delicious girl if he wants to. Now, we can’t know specifically the talk Carlisle and Esme had before this, but I can’t imagine it was this. Also, damn, what a miscommunication.

Esme simply doesn’t have a problem with the deaths of individual humans, and she will put her loved ones above all other things, even if it’s a minor inconvenience. Keeping Bella alive only becomes her priority after Edward makes it clear he wants this.

Now, Carlisle’s standards have been worn down over the centuries, he just wants his family to try not to eat people on purpose, that’s how low the bar is. Tragically for his marriage, Esme is stumbling over said bar.

The further trouble they run into is that I don’t think they’re very compatible people.

Esme means well, but she’s peculiar, to put it extremely nicely. Her ambition in life is to LARP the human life, right down to being a master chef of something her species can’t eat, which could be sweet if she did other things. She doesn’t, the closest she gets is designing homes for her family. There’s being single-minded, and then there’s Esme, who appears to have honed herself into someone who exists only to be the housewife.

This leads to bizarre behavior - for instance in Midnight Sun when Edward has realized he’s in love, he sits around laughing to himself like a lunatic while playing the piano. Something happens with Rosalie, who runs out of the house in humiliation. Esme, responding to all this, gives her infamous “the best and brightest of us all” pep talk.

It’s just such a weird scene, even accounting for the inhumanity of Twilight vampires this is weird.

Mostly, thought, it is Esme’s interests and desires in life that I find so at odds with Carlisle’s. She wants to be an improved human, living the shinier, better, life without actually embracing the inhumanity of vampirism, while Carlisle is doing the human thing because he wants to be a doctor and save lives. Before that, he was travelling the world, living with normal vampires, using his eternity to study and pursue meaning in life. Now, they end up in the same place, with similar goals - wanting to blend in with humans - but the motivation is the polar opposite.

Which in turn means that as the world turns and their lives inevitably change, the way they live will have to change. This will spell trouble.

There’s also me having a strong suspicion these two don’t have much of a physical relationship, if any. Meyer specifically referred to their relationship as spiritual, and that fits the vibe we get from them in the books. Quite notably, Rosalie and Emmett were impossible to be around when they were newlyweds, while Carlisle and Esme weren’t a problem at all. 

Not to mention what Esme longed for all those years was very much an ideal of a man, which to me doesn’t immediately point to a very physical attraction.

The Penultimate Peril

Would he cheat on her, you ask. Answer is yes, they’re both cheating emotionally with Edward. No. 

He’s with her because he wants to be, and feels responsible for her. More, developing the kinds of feelings necessary for an emotional affair isn’t really on the table for him, since everyone else in the world is either a. one of his kids or the Denali, b. an unrepentant man-eating demon. So, unless Tanya’s feeling frisky, Carlisle doesn’t have anybody to cheat with.

(I’m here defining an emotional affair, which as I understand it is a bit hard to define, as a romantic, but non-physical entanglement. The cheating party has to know their partner wouldn’t be cool with it for it to count in my eyes.)

As for physically cheating on her, nope. God no, not ever. Unless something really convoluted like the plot of Blue Moon unfolded, but that’s really more a case of Esme pimping out her husband to her daughter-in-law, so everyone’s to blame here.

The end

I think the breakup can happen in any number of ways, but I think either way it will be sudden. 

These two aren’t going to go “you know, I think we’ve grown apart” because Esme would never acknowledge that nevermind walk up to Carlisle and say it, and if Carlisle realized things aren’t working he’d still want to stick it out for her sake.

I think it’ll be sudden, it’ll happen as the immovable object that is them is hit by an unstoppable force. One will go someplace the other can’t follow. Maybe when the Cullen coven splits down the middle, and they’re on each their own side of the chasm, or maybe some other cause entirely.

It’ll devastate them both, but given the people these two are, I think it’s inevitable.