#guess who the fuck this is about haha. take a guess.

[electricalhuzzah]

*Dusts off keyboard*

OH OH~ TUMBBLLLRRR, IT IS GOOD TO BE BACK! NAME'S JELLY, AND I TAKE IT YOU'RE SOME KIND OF CRAZY FIC AUTHOR? HAHA, I'M JUST KIDDING, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, EVA!

I've missed so much, broski. It has literally been two weeks or something. LIKE, I KNOW IT'S 14 DAYS, BUT GODDAMN... Almost like everyone noticed I was gone and saw this as an opportunity to finally be free and happy or something, HAHA, just joking. They wouldn't do that to me...

(I'm coming for everyone, yes, I'm looking at YOU)

As a biology teacher over here, I also teach sex education, so my search history is fucked beyond repair. BUT after reading that chapter yesterday, I might get the secret service knocking on my door. "Easy body disposal" and "Torture methods" really did the trick. Fucking Derek. FUUUCKINNNNGGG DEREK. That nasty, horrible, disgusting, terrible, repulsive human being. He ain't fictional in my eyes. That bitch is somewhere, and I'm going to find him. Like I've said... death is too damn good for someone like him. HE NEEDS TO FEEL PAIN, THEN THINK THAT THE PAIN IS SLOWLY GETTING LESS PAINFUL, ONLY TO ENDURE MORE PAIN FOR ALL OF ETERNITY.

You're so damn lucky Derek is my target now. *Sells plane ticket*. I was still pissed about the trauma you've inflicted on me the last couple of chapters. GUESS THESE PAST FEW WEEKS WERE A GOOD DISTRACTION👀 Aight, you will get your yappings, probably tomorrow? The day after that? I'll see... But for now.. it's time to STALK EVERYONE'S PAGE AND SEE WHAT THEY'VE MADE. BUT WHO SHALL I CHOOSE FIRST... LET'S SEE, EENY, MEENY, MINY...

Sorry people, the hype just ain't over until I jump on the train as well.

°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆

Me: "HEEYYY EVERYONE, I'M BACKK!! DID YOU MISS ME?"

Heinz dilemma supporters: "God fucking damn it, not this bitch.."

Me: "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WAITING! EEEE I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT Y'ALL MADE!"

Heinz dilemma supporters: "Maybe if we act like we don't see her, she will just leave by herself.."

Me: "OKAY I GOTTA BE HONEST, MAGS I TOOK A PEAK AT SOME OF YOUR STUFF YESTERDAY AND I LAUGHED SO DAMN HARD. GOSH YOU'RE AMAZING."

Heinz dilemma supporters: "Okay, it's clearly not working, just fucking run people, RUN!"

Me: BRO WAIT I JUST WANNA TALK.. COME BACK DON'T BE LIKE THAT!! I STILL HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SAY THO..

ohhhh dear jelly i fear there is something deeply sinister that lurks within you. i PROMISE that man is fictional jelly he CANNOT hurt you . he is trapped within the confines of my google doc. no torture necessary! (though still welcome)

welcome back to tumblr >:D we missed you lots jelly <3 hope you enjoy all the stuff ya missed out on!

[nikoisme]

I was looking through my notes/drafts and I found this and I have no idea what I was on when I wrote this

as you can see I never finished whatever this was supposed to be lmao

[rosicheeks]

[mariatesstruther]

okay but a version of events in which tommy takes ellie to the fireflies, but NEITHER of them come back. and maria joel have to work together to get them back

[unproduciblesmackdown]

winston my quant of billions

[aq2003]

twelfth night is not a Shakespeare I have read or seen but now I’m a bit terrified of ever consuming it. I definitely would never touch that audio drama with a 10 foot pole though (so so tempting. I might give in)

i was normal about twelfth night and held many normal emotions about it i really liked it for being this fun very messy queer drama until i listened to david tennant malvolio which ruined my life i cannot stress enough all of my evil derangements are because of david tennant malvolio if he had not done any of that i would have been FINE

[padfootastic]

i am so tired of female characters being inherently written as ‘terrifying’ or ‘scary’ w no respect to their characterisation.

for one, it feels so fake. i know so many women irl (i am one!!!) and there are very few, of any, that i would categorise as ‘scary as is’. heck, even if we go by tempers—the numbers just don’t match.

but somehow in fics, every single woman is a terrifying force of nature bc that’s…somehow…the only way we can think of women? idk?

and also just, it’s such a two dimensional characterisation that i only see w the female characters. all men aren’t angry and hex-happy and scary all the time. they’re affable, chill, respond to situations thoughtfully instead of always resorting to violence.

i think it also bothers me bc the anger thing flows neatly into the v gendered carefree man child/stuck up fun sponge stereotypes that so many relationships are forced into. it’s just an icky dynamic all around.

and lastly,,,i don’t think it’s even normal for a character to be latently terrifying everyone all the time??? unless it’s a specific quirk of theirs??? like women aren’t dementors bro chill tf out

[sysig]

But would you tho (Patreon)

[akascow]

man yellowjackets would be so much better if it didnt keep cutting back to the present day

[ebitenpura]

This isn't the best picture, but it kinda looks like Lana designed this armor for him and unintentionally (or intentionally) made them match, lol.

[thefourpointedstar]

hell yeah.

Reblog to give a trans woman a delicious Cuban sandwich

[tinyetoile]

I'm howling with laughter because I just found a manhwa that has the same premise as Cluck of the Wild

[s1llybug]

trying to process and heal from the trauma that a certain someone caused me and trying to talk myself through it (while being plural and mentally unstable) is currently going somewhere along these lines

(warning: some pretty triggering and very personal discussions from me in the tags however feel free to just relate to the funny pitture)

[giantkillerjack]

The Supernatural fandom is infinitely better to be a part of now that no one in the fandom actually thinks Supernatural is good XD

whenever i see another tiktok girlie talking about how she wishes to have been a fangirl in 2010s i feel like a seasoned veteran overhearing a foolish youngin boasting about wanting to go to war for glory and adventure. you naive little idiot. you know nothing. you understand nothing. you weren't there in the trenches. i have seen things, terrible things. i cannot plug in my phone charger at night without being plagued by the visions of Him

[pastelclovds]

thinking about short top x tall bottom relationships

your partner’s friends believe that just because you were two feet shorter than him: that it would obviously mean that you would be the one taking it in the relationship. how could you blame those meatheads when your boyfriend was everything a stereotypical dominant man was “supposed” to be. muscles that could be compared to Greek gods, good looks, possessing a constant stern and confident attitude, and he had a successful career that made him good money.

your lover didn’t try to deny the accusations. probably too embarrassed to admit the truth. you had to hide your smirk when you saw your bf trying desperately to change the subject. looking tense and flustered as his gaze shifted from his hands to you to his friends. it wasn’t until you dropped his friends off and were now alone with him in your car that his mask finally cracked. before he could say a word, you place the palm of your hand on top of his shaking leg. dangerously close to his clothed pelvis. his breathe hitched when he meet your eyes. they were smug and hungry.

at that moment he knew it didn’t matter what excuses he spewed out. you were going to show him who was really in charge. he couldn’t help blood rushing south as his mind started fantasizing about what you were planning for him.

you grin devilishly when you catch sight of his cock straining against his dress pants. oh you were going to have so much fun breaking him.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

“oh! oh yeah— fuck! faster please please!”

you’ve seen many beautiful things in your life. but the sight of your lover presenting his bare ass for you to rail as he sobbed out your name like a prayer definitely topped them all. he let out choked moans when your cock continuously hits his prostate. his grip on the pillows rival that of a vice as his tears wet the covers. he thrusts back against your cock to the best of his ability as the bruising grip you had on his waist prevented him from moving the lower half of his body. forcing him to stay still and take it.

you let out a shaky breath as you gazed down at the so called ‘master in the sheets’. now a pathetic, beautiful mess as his tight hole took you in. just the sight of his tear stained face and velvety ass was enough to almost make you spill inside him. you increase the pace of your hips. your sweat slicked balls slapping against your lover’s ass as the volume of his moans and cries increased. the clap of your bf’s ass meeting your pelvis filled you with pride as you couldn’t resist the temptation of slapping his cheek. his hole tightened significantly around you.

“haha. guess your friends were wrong about you, lovely. was this what you wanted? embarres me so i can show you who you really belonged to? hmm?” you lower your torso as you teased him by slowly grinding against his sweet spot. he raised his head to look up at you.

“i’m yours. always make me feel good. go faster again please. i’m close, ‘m sorry— ah!”

your pace returns to rough and quick as soon as the words left his pretty mouth. ���good boy- hah- cum for me,” you breathlessly command him. he followed your orders instantly, biting his pillow cover to muffle his pathetic sob as his cock spilled white on the sheets.

his climax triggered yours, you sigh as you fill him with warmth. you knew that this wasn’t going to be the last round, so you rest on top of your lover’s back until he gave you the ‘okay’ to continue. you could feel his chest rise and fall as he tries to catch his breath. if you weren’t paying attention intensely, you would’ve missed the breathless “i love you” he told you.

you cover his sweat coated back in soft kisses, you couldn’t even reach his neck, “i love you too, gorgeous,” you whisper back. you bite back a groan when he started grinding against your cock, signaling that he was ready for round two.

you loved destroying stereotypes.

ur fav tall af characters <3

[angeltism]

nnnnnnnnno i'm crying to love songs again fuck