#guess who has time to draw again! hurray!!

[happy-emmdings]

Jolly Roger’s first mate🖤☠️

Sail where you will, answer to no crown, smooch the captain…

[theinsanecrayonbox]

FOP: A New Wish e16?, 18-22

well would you lookit that, new episodes. thanks internet for telling me...since i don't watch cable live...but man, we are starting the wonky releasing aren't we? e17 was e16, but now e16 is 2 episodes after e17?? the more things change, the more they stay the same eh? lol

Episode 16: Lost and Founder's Day

yeah like i said, wonky episode ordering. i know they sometimes air out of production order, but this? this is also a full 22 min episode?? nice. i guess that's why it's so out of order...wouldn't have that problem if you didn't split 22 min eps into 11 min ones, just saying...

huh, and description is saying that Dale is the new Crocker...yeah, i can easily see that...it's the plot of s2 of the Santa Clauses

so story time proper now

oh right the Dimmadome hat, because Doug founded the town, du how'd i forget that.

aww Dev is still glasses-less. but lol smart watch that can't tell time, classic

pfffft the mentioning of Poof and Cosmo's slip of the tongue, that's great. nice that they acknowledge that Cosmo had him. but wait, did they just admit that they left him alone for 10,000 years while on vacation? it hasn't been 10,000 years...but still, you left your son at boarding school this entire time??? guys

oh hey recurring wish characters, just chilling in the wild, not drawing any attention for weirdness...why'd Mark have to hide in the past again

pfft Dimm n' Out Burgers

Doug got gold in 1953...the original series was like mid 90s...???

oh Hazel's gonna wish for others, now we're pulling Live Action plots...but also Wishmas...but also standard, and was that the standard kid hurray that FNaF uses??

dawww Dev :( i mean i know we knew the statute wasn't gonna be good, but poor Dev. and wow laying on the Poof referencing heavy; if i hadn't been spoiled that he's returning it wouldn't be a surprise because that is not foreshadowing, that's a neon sign

and hat montage...ok...at least it's not a musical number i guess...and it is a nice commercial break spot, because *double length episode*

heh snarky Dev. but also daww protecting Hazel

and dawww 3rd act breakup?? Dev hunny

but now we have terminator founders' day statues. this is getting crazy again, and i love it

ha! callback to the "oh great the wand not working noise". also callback to Cosmo was right

pfft "Dill Pickle Dimmadome". just a dumb joke, or Rugrats shoutout, you decide!

huh just now realizing that the non-Roman Dimmadome was French, very obviously a French trapper, so...are the Dimmadomes also Canadian?

dawwww Hazel be nice to Dev! he did save you

HEY! Poof is back! yes, yes, he's Peri now; very grown up, not a questionable foreign slur, i know. and he's Dev's fairy????? ok i did not see that how he came back; i expected him in an episode or two. but how interesting that the spoiled rich kid who's parents don't love him gets the purple fairy...again...

well, i guess i can see why this was produced as e16, but aired after e18 since that's sort of a big plot point

Episode 18: Work Her Magic

so chronologically this should be before Lost and Founder's Day...lets see is that matters. because this series does have some ongoing continuity to it...

synopsis has the standard plot of kid thinks parent is overworking so wants to spend time with them. doesn't sound like Add-a-Dad, so that's good

adult Hazel design? huh

heh the puppet replacement is back...and having an existential crisis??? O.o this show man...i love it

hey design for Antony

interesting montage

wait what was the name of the building??? E-Lidder+Acey Publishing. oh, ok, it went by so fast i thought it was E-Leddy, as in similar to Mr Turner's boss at the pencil pushed factory office thing. idt there's a connection, carry on

there's no Un-Wish Island for Hazel, but instead a cosmic void...filled with neon glitter...Mad Muse Mythos??? O.o

ah well, the ending was good enough. this was a low magic, personal growth episode, which is always grade a good. but you know...i feel like there could be a wish uprising in the future, just like Un-Wish Island...oh and no, idt this being aired out of order in comparison to Lost and Founders Day matters at all

Episode 19: Crock to the Future

so many pun titles, i am loving it. but Crocker is back??? did he get demoted to janitor after his affair with Vicky (heh yes i will never forget the worst part of Odder, and neither will any of you so it will never happen again)(also this is NOT the Odder timeline so i know there's no correlation...other than the cosmic multiverse deciding to punish him for eth actions in an alternate reality lol). but...since the internet spoiled that there's an adult AJ, this is sort of a missed opportunity to have it be adult Kevin...not that i want Kev to be a carbon copy of Crocker, but still. would help narrow the timeline more (gimme adult Chloe! gimme proof there's no Sparky!!), seeing as Poof is grown and present, so we know it's not a Channel Chasers timeline...

anywhos, actual episode!

AJ!!! Anthony James Junior is AJ's full name??? and he's into Paranormal Science/ uh...that doesn't really track, but AJ!?

but also, claiming that the experts said a ghost containment unit was impossible...so this is not the same universe as DP, since that is confirmed as possible. i know it wasn't really a connected universe before, but confirmation that they are separate is nice...though i say that and watch as Jack and Maddie end up in a background shot coming up lol

wow their paranormal detector works

AJ!! "remember him from the original series?" lol but yeah this has got to be 20 years in the future minimum...

hey there's Mark and his ship on that mural!

IT'S CROCKER!!!!!! and he looks so OLD! zomr i love it, he looks so much like Dolores and Albert. and he still has the FaIrYgOdPaReNtS!!

huh we acknowledge that Crocker was their godkid, nice

Wanda, why would you think Crocker covering eth building in a net is impossible? he afforded to do that back on a teacher's salary, he can certainly do that on a janitor's

Timmy name drop!

so Crocker does this every year...AJ knows his old teacher works for him. neat!

well this was actually a very fun cameo episode! i highly approve!! shame Kev didn't show up to pick Crocker up at the end, and it'd mimic how Denzel was with Dolores, but better since Kev isn't fairy crazy...i liked Kev lol

Episode 20: Battle of the Dimmsonian

description says Dev and Hazel magic battle. so...it's Remy Rides Again

oooo Dev's the wishy-washy wisher, that's neat. it goes to show that even he doesn't know what eh wants or needs

waitwiatwait "remember episode 13 when i was horse and you were a cowboy hat" e13 of NW was Stany Danky and was there cowboy wear in that? e13 of the original series was Christmas Everyday and...no i think it was only Maria that was a cowboy there. hm.....

oh are they going to follow the "fairy godparents can't out other fairy godkids" rule??

Brindle Folk people lived in Dimmadelphia before settlement huh? ad they have a lot of antlers...and a spirit named Viozalia...and that looks like a portal....otter-deer fae nice (i see what you meant saying i had a lot to work with in these new episodes lol)

hey that looks like a ghost portal...fae spirit...yeah that tracks...heh called her a demi-god wow. wrath of the underworld? what is this show?? i love it!!

hehe Viozalia tricking Dev into giving her the staff; classic fae.

"what to do if your kid tries to start the ghost apocalypse" that is actually a thing that they though could happen/has happened before?? also ghost apocalypse, and child possession, this is amazing

the family reveal was fun lol

dawww Dev not knowing how friendships work

hehe Ghostbusters references all around

that was actually a really good episode. very enjoyable, plot progressive, character progressive, very spoopy. A+ team

Episode 21: Patty Possum's Party Playground

is that a FNaF reference??? and did they forget that they already have Mikey Mozzarella's?? and description says Hazel wishes eth animatronics to life...it is FNaF holy crap!!!

Patty Possum looks like a female Mikey Mozzarella...

and if Winn watched her show in daycare, it's at least a 5 year old franchise

man i love Ski-Ball

Patty invited the children onto the stage to be her new posse...she's gonna try to keep them isn't she...

ah another instance of Cosmo and Wanda being idiots and loosing their wands the most stupid way because if they didn't there'd be no plot

haha yup there it is, she's keeping those children. time to survive until 6 am kids

wait what was the tunnel graffiti?? Miss you Mom...with 25 tick marks and a skeleton, oh...i thought it was something cooler. carry on

ok i am so into this musical number. the background music is actually going good this ep

dawww lesson of the week time; friends are friends even when they are apart

oh no the possum is stealing not-Timmy to stuff him into a suit to be the new turtle or something! lol

ok, so this was fun. didn't go as dark as the other spoopy episodes, but it was still fun, and filled with fodder.

Episode 22: A Date to Remember

this one's description sounds like a Lovestruck light...but hey more returning characters!

oh actually it seems like it's got some Apartnership mixed in too actually...huh...neat

hey, Cosmo's referencing their first date from "Floating with You" from School's Out: The Musical. you guys did your homework a bunch

wait she made that wish...oh geeze Hazel Marty McFlyed herself...oh wait no, not time traveling, but basically yeah

heehee 2d versions of stuff that happened, love it

what happened to Cupid?? O.o this character is like, 100% different than the original. are we saying that Cupid isn't a person but an office/title now? so this isn't the same Cupid?? redoing Father Time was since since he wasn't a highly established character, but Cupid was, and since we had April Fool reffs it's not like you guys never saw OG Cupid

all the sports jokes are going over my head. i don't sport ball.

but you know, the message that love isn't just a point game, and that Angela still had free will to choose despite the game saying otherwise, that's great.

so other than the confusing character...it was ok

Episode 23: Lost in Fairy World

the kids get lost and fairies have to find them before Jorgen finds out? is it now illegal to bring your godkids to Fairy World?? i mean, tat should've been a rule from the start, but why now?

heehee family brunch of candy. and Dev's first Fairy World exposure, nice. but you know what, this is actually really cute and clever setup giving Peri to Dev. Dev's an only child with an absent father (and no mother in sight), so he gets a single godparent. BUT he also happens to also get 2 grand-godparents and a godsister/aunt in the form of Hazel. Dev gets the big loving family he wants so badly. meanwhile, Hazel started this by loosing her brother's friendship when he moved away, and feeling distant from her parents; well she got herself 2 more godparents for the attention, and now has a godbrother and godnefew/goduncle and godcousin/brother (i know technically it works one way but the dynamics of the personal interactions feel the other so just role with it). she's gotten back her family she thought she lost. this was really good story telling here.

anywhos, Fairy World!! oooo map...with several locations....ooooooooooooo

Cosmo and Wanda being over bearing parents to Peri is great. and Peri saying Dev's his first godkid...eh...i guess he's technically right since we only saw him assigned to Dolores in Fairly Old Parent before...

ok we're going on a world tour! first stop: Star Dome. it's...a wand garden? i feel like we established wand production in the past but i can't recall when... second stop: Rainbow Highway. not much to it third stop: Dollfins. it's...dolphins, but dolls...wut? this seems silly fourth stop: Wings n' Thangs. it's a factory...mk...well since Norm did have wings stapled onto his back i guess wing manufacturing is a thing

Jorgen seems stupider than he used to be...i blame the sweater vest

the kids unwished themselves? wait what?? THAT'S the Hocus Poconos?? Wish storage...Unwish Island...the glitter void where the puppet went...is that this place??? I...hu...and there is an Un-wish dragon. i...hm...

pfft ok i'll give the dragon the meta joke, that was funny

and i guess this new system does make sense, seeing as Timmy got Un-Wish Island because his Wish Storage was over willed, so dumping the unwishes in a designated area with something to destroy them does make sense. now i'm hoping there's a rebel Gary here and we go Mad Max with a smattering of other unwishes lol

pffft Fredanator head, nice. i guess it's cameo time....holy crap that was a skeletal snake!Vicky in a milkshake glass O.o show!! i love you

wait ate a godkid again?? O.o!!!!

lol Dev learning no lessons. he's trying guys, he's learning...slowly lol

ok not a bad episode. very much a cameo game. still loving this show, looking forward to next week's crop.

[academiaipromise]

everything i want everyone to know about the return of true tv pt 2 (riverdale season 7 episode 2)

jughead (who of course no longer remembers the present storyline) submitted a story to a comics company and they STOLE it i get it jughead i really do

oh thank god we’re having a sock hop this week 

fun fact about this comic book theft storyline is that every person i know (including me) who works in creative industries has a story like this. i feel like someone in the writers room is taking out some frustration. protect your work!!!! no one else will.

i forgot to say last week but betty and kevin are dating in this timeline...so i’m sure that’s gonna go well. i wrote this comment about kevin famously being a flaming homosexual with no regard for his own safety but i am watching archie and betty dance together and they actually might be the more immediate issue 

ETHEL “WE’RE GONNA BE A SHIP” MUGGS IS BACK (good for shannon purser i guess?) 

“we’ve been dating for months and we’re not even going steady yet...you haven’t even pinned me yet.” i’m in PAIN. 

they introduced clay walker in this episode, who is kevin’s husband in archie comics. eat your heart out mcu film bros i am an easter egg master. 

ARCHIEKINS has made its first appearance in the 50s timeline

i somehow missed how toni moved here an episode ago and joined a gang. sorry to those who rely on me paying enough attention to follow this but there’s a lot going on. anyways, she is threatening the sock hop! so cheryl has narrowed in on her enemy (to lover, obviously)! 

archie coming out in his suit that doesn’t fit is very high school musical 3 to me. no further comment. 

“ah jeez mom” AGAIN 50s archie is oddly endearing. 

archie writing a poem for veronica but then giving it to betty to read...i never said the writers weren’t plotting. 

VERONICA INVITED ALL OF THE POTENTIAL DATES OVER AT THE SAME TIME?! perhaps i am anti girlboss i’m sorry to admit this during the week of barbie supremacy 

“what if we went together?” “like...for kicks?” [i am on my 50s jughead canonically ace agenda i don’t have time to get into it here but this made me laugh] 

molly ringwald is kind of chewing her dialogue a bit good for her she really called her son simple (affectionate) 

maedchen amick is also...kind of terrifying in this episode. i support the older riverdale cast just doing whatever the hell they want at this point 

....is the show. implying that hal cooper was also gay in the way kevin is gay. or am i reading too much into that dialogue. anyways, we don’t have time to get into this. 

is ethel still in a cult in this universe or did everyone get a blank slate? perhaps she’s just still creepy 

betty clearly on her way to ask archie to the sock hop now that veronica is no longer taking him only to be stopped by kevin to give her this PIN so that they can GO STEADY genuinely makes me kind of sad like there is no way for this to end well. pinning someone won’t fix your problems kids!

ethel muggs didn’t show up for the detention she got for drawing her illustrations for jughead’s story and hurray! they got the job! take back ownership of your work kids

fangs breaking out into tutti frutti really got my “watched grease/other 50s-setting content as a kid” fight or flight instinct 

damn if my principal singled me out to wax homophobic righteousness i think i would have to resort to something drastic 

well okay cool yeah happy the creepy music following ethel around went somewhere (the sock hop episode ended by implying ethel killed her parents). 

important follow-up: again, the episode ended with ethel, covered in blood, saying “something terrible’s happened.” this was the immediate trailer for the next episode:

anyways. who’s excited for veronica’s make out party??? (my eye twitched writing this)

[twilit-hyrule]

So I feel bad cuz I’m pretty bad at actually drawing my ideas and uploading them... I have a bunch of doodles and concepts on my ipad that I haven’t finished yet 😅. Pokemon teams, superhero AU, some angst etc. (I have a lot of notes and stuff but comparatively few drawings).

So I decided to just upload some wing designs I have for the boys since I’ve seen some Wingfic stuff going around again! (The writing in-between is just a small info dump on which birds inspired me/what I based their wings on for anyone who is curious! So feel free to skip it or guess the birds before reading (it’s always two bird species per Link btw.)).

(I’m begging, pls ignore the akward standing pose I used for all of them. And the face markings! They look weird...)

I based Sky’s wings on a golden pheasant, and a red macaw. Felt fitting to give him red wings! And I couldn’t miss up the opportunity to add some master sword coloration with the purple and blue hues.

Four is obviously based on a hummingbird (long-tailed sylph to be more specific!), but the second bird I used as inspiration was the quetzal. It added the red underside and the long green feathers that would trail after Four (they would also be a bit longer than they are here).

Both him and Sky (and the hylians in their worlds) are very colourful compared to the others, because the bright feathers wouldn’t attract danger in their eras (the monsters were sealed away (Four) or couldn’t reach them above the clouds (Sky).

Time’s wing structure is based on owls, so he is also the most silent during flight! I wanted his wings to be gold-ish in colour so I based him on a barn owl, but I also wanted something more dangerous for him (barn owls are surprisingly small). So I added some golden eagle into the mix.

(His wings are also the most plain(?) I guess, since I had trouble imagining him with something more decorative/complicated)

I’d imagine when he turns into the feirce deity the wings grow in size and turn snow-white (like a snow owl, maybe with reflective silver instead of black markings?). Maybe grow some white peacock feathers for the tail too, he can afford to be flashy XD.

Twilight has the biggest wingspan of them all. I based him on a bearded vulture (they have the 6th biggest wingspan of all birds! Well, according to one lazy google search at least...), since I thought it fitting that he is a bird with a lot of negative stigma attached (like with his wolf transformation, vultures are rarely -if ever- considered good). They also eat bones, which also matches! And yes, their eyes are red which looks pretty damn cool.

The second bird that inspired me was the turquoise browed motmot (long tail feathers), but I’m still fighting with myself about whether I should make the feathers on the outside turquoise or not... either way I really like the sunset colours :)

For Wild I chose an osprey, I wanted a bird that mostly ate fish and lived near bodies of water because of Mipha.

...admittedly that reasoning made more sense in my head.

However! I was also inspired by magpies. Wild will absolutely pick up and keep any shiny object that he finds! Hurray for scavengers!

Eagle-ish wings! I based him on the secretary bird, it seemed extra enough for him. Though I just really like the look of those birds (really pretty!). Mixed with some major mitchell’s cockatoo for the beautiful fade from pink/light red to white.

(I’d imagine he’s low-key jealous of Sky and Four because their wings are so colourful.)

Again, like with Four, I went with the obvious choice; a seagull. Though I also sprinkled in some bluejay for the beautiful feather coloration.

Wind really likes how closely his wings match those from Warrior (since he looks up to him) both their wings have a softly fading colour on the inside and feathers darkening in layers on their backs. He just thinks it’s neat.

The first bird I looked at for Legend was the southern carmine bee eater, it has a pink-ish body and a blue/green crown of feathers on it’s head. I mean, that just screamed Legend to me.

The second bird I chose was the peregrine falcon, the fastest bird in the sky! After all, Legend is the only one of the chain to always wears his pegasus boots.

One of my personal favourite wing designs! Hyrule was mostly inspired by a starling, I wanted him to appear more... magical? And the white spots remind me of stars (well, it’s a starling). The inside of his wings is very loosely based on the great grey shrike, a slightly brutal bird, which fits well with the consensus that he lives in the grittiest Hyrule.

(They impale their live prey on on thorns for anyone who is curious.)

———

If any of them look kinda strange, it’s probably because I tried to make them all look unique. With the exception of Twilight. I wanted him to look slightly similar to both Wild and Time (main reason why I am contemplating adding some blue-ish colour). Brown and yellow/gold from time, and that dark border on the edge of his primary feathers was inspired by Wild (like Twi he is also mainly brown).

I also actively avoided making their wings green because most of them already wear green tunics, and that’s just too much.

[thisismylifedotnet]

It has been... years.

16.2.2021

Time really flies whether you are busy or not... 

I saw @therealjacksepticeye post his “Loss” vlog and it reminded of this “blog” thing I have going on in here. (That I really don’t update this much but ah well, something to burst emotions to)

A quick time lapse to what have happened and what kind of situation I am now in. 

Last time (8/2018) I wrote a big text where  I opened my life scars and told everything that hurt me, especially with my mother. It was totally worth writing it here. because it opened my mind a bit to see from another point of view. 

Back then I was studying to be a custom seamstress, a person who can make custom clothes to women. Guess what? I graduated at May 2020!! Hurray! I now know how to make clothes properly and can have my dream hobby now! In those 2 years light has showed up at the end of the tunnel, finally! I have been breaking brick walls with my head so hard I can see light without imagining it. The last period, which was kind of the end test of how we can manage to do a dress to a customer with as minimum help as possible, was covid-19 pandemic when they first closed all schools. Good thing for me: I already had a sewing machine and the other machine that cuts and sews a pattern to the edge of the fabric. I even had just big enough table to  draw the patterns and cut the fabric. Surprise, surprise, even to me: my customer was my mother, to whom I did a fancy summer dress how she liked it. It was not supposed to be my mom but the other customer wanted to avoid covid, so I asked her.

My mother was the same pain in the ass as before all my time in that education, but she has showed signs of accepting me more and more when time has passed. I still date the same boyfriend as before and he has been continued to tell my mom how things actually are and how they are done elsewhere. We even had planned some situations where she couldn’t believe anything before we demonstrated it and after her “ooh, this is nice, how did you do this?” -comments, we revealed that this was done the way she didn’t believe worked. And I think it has been a slow process of realization to her that things are not as she thinks them to be. Sure, there are the basic things that are just not getting to her, but now I can believe that practice makes perfect. Well, not perfect in this case but better. 

So, what did I do after graduation to custom seamstress from a vocational school? I continued to drive taxi as a work but kept a couple of months break because of covid took most of our customers away. Then I started studying Hospitality in August! I think hospitality is the answer to what is going to be my occupation. I have enjoyed studying hospitality so far, I hope my motivation stays till the end.

Also after I got in and started studying hospitality my mom has not been judging me anymore as much, at least not out loud. Thanks to that I have been able to focus on improving myself and I cannot remember when was the last time I felt this great to be myself and ready to the challenges ahead. Seriously, I even surprised myself in a presentation in a positive way.

Also thank you again to @markiplier and @therealjacksepticeye for reminding me once in a while who I am and what is good in life. Not to mention my boyfriend who has helped me understand why my mom is a piece of shit and I have not done anything wrong and she is just a crazy person.

My life, my world and my choices. 

[ladyloveandjustice]

Shadow of the Batgirl: A review type thing

I just read the graphic novel Shadow of the Batgirl by Sarah Kuhn and Nicole Goux, which reimagines the superhero origin of Cassandra Cain.

It was overall good and EXTREMELY cute! If you want an awesome story about a teenage assassin running away from her shitty dad and finding a neat library, a community of cool ladies and the hero within herself, AND WHY WOULDN’T YOU WANT THAT, definitely get this! 

It’s a standalone Batgirl story completely accessible to all and with none of the weird baggage and the complicated continuity of the regular Batman universe! it’s appropriate for younger teens but still a good read for adults, the art’s colorful and great, it’s packed to the brim with joy and hope.

And on top of all that, it gives a great character who’s been traditionally horribly neglected by mainstream comics for some reason (*cough its because she’s not white cough*) a spotlight and a chance to shine (and get written by an Asian American author for once!)! This also features one of my other faves, who had her disability and adult identity erased in the main universe, but not in this comic, hurray!

SO YEAH, if you like superheroes at all, highly recommend this!

NOW for a more detailed review, calling on all my expertise as a Cassandra Cain superfan and going into pros and cons. This’ll be long, but I’ll do it as a list to break it down.

Let’s start with the good stuff, there’s a lot of it:

- This story takes place in world where Barbara Gordon as Oracle (and former Batgirl) and Cassandra Cain as Batgirl exist, but Batman and The Killing Joke do not appear to. That is honestly transcendentally great to finally see this as an officially realized concept, Batgirl allowed to stand on its own as a legacy of powerful women, with all history of these characters being victimized for the sake of manpain erased. I am elated.

-The art was adorable, the designs were great, the clothes and Cass’s costumes were super cute, the setting was vibrant.

-Jackie was a really fun character and mentor figure for Cass. Loved her snark and how she and Babs basically become Cass’s two Moms and an awesome team in their own right. The relationships in this were just heartwarming. Loved the range of characters in general.

-Cass basically lived in a library aka my life dream. I mean, she did it because she was homeless and on the run from her assassin father, but like.

-Cassandra FINALLY knows her own race, (she’s half-Chinese) and gets to have a goddamn connection and basic feelings about it (Jackie bringing up what the bat means to Chinese culture), etc, god it should not have taken this long for this to happen.

(And it’s really important to have a version of Cass’s story where, y’know, the positive inspirational figures in her life include other Asian people, they aren’t just white people. it wasn’t until I read this it fully dawned on me how screwed up it is she never had that before.)

-For the first time in her entire existence, Cassandra Cain got to be in a canon romance that wasn’t fucking awful, can you believe it. Her love interest Erik was adorable, and him being a budding romance writer was an especially sweet touch- and I think there’s an implication/hint his dad’s the Bronze Tiger? Which is really cute Easter Egg for Cass fans, considering she had a strong friendship with the dude in her original series!

-The idea of Cass liking to draw and expressing herself through art is really fun and fitting. Her being visually focused, it makes a lot of sense.

-Cass extending her body language ability to sort of being able to guess at people’s underlying emotional problems from how they carry themselves is a really neat idea- it could have been implemented a little more smoothly but I like the concept.

-Cass going after the “evil-doers” in the library after becoming a hero was one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Deserves to be framed. I love what a huge nerd Cass got to be in this.

-The comic understood that core of Cass’s character is compassion and empathy, that how she reaches out for people, refuses to harm, and really believes in people and embodies change, rebirth, hope. THAT’S IT, THAT’S MY GIRL, THAT’S MY HERO..

-I’ve read a ton of comics with Barbara Gordon and this is the first one I’ve come across where she discussed her relationship with her mother having any sort of influence on her interests and personality, she isn’t even the main character of this and her mother matters more in it than every other comic I’ve read with her combined how sad is that

-I liked Babs just casually making gadgets and stuff all the time, and loved that she expressed she honestly preferred doing this and that was why she was giving Batgirl to Cass. MADE ME WANT TO SCREAM FUCK YOU DC ALL OVER AGAIN.

-Compared to the original Cass Batgirl comics, this story is obviously more accessible as a standalone, but it’s also just overall more appropriate for a wider range of ages since the darker elements of Cass’s story are way toned down. I was a young teenager when I read Cass’s series and was fine, but there are young teenagers that DON’T want like, graphic onscreen deaths in their comics, so it’s good there’s a lighter Cass story for them. It was just a really sweet, affirming story.

Now for some cons, none of them damning:

The romance was cute, but wish it’d had room to breathe. Ideally, it didn’t need to be happening alongside Cass’s origin, I think it would have been better if it was just hinted at and then was allowed to fully play out as an after-she-became-Batgirl thing, but I can get that Kuhn didn’t know if this would get a sequel and there were probably a lot of good reasons she wanted to include it.

-I think this came from Kuhn being used to writing as a YA author rather than doing comics, but it was weird to read a Cass comic with so much narration and the way it was used really detracted from the potential power of the story. We’re told through Cass’s super chatty narration she’s not a normal teen, she TELLS US that she barely knows how to read and speak and TELLS US she’s better at reading body language-but we never get a sense of this, not even at the beginning, because the story doesn’t trust the reader to take in the visuals without narration, and then she’s able to talk like a normal teen pretty much right off the bat.

 I’m okay with Cass becoming a chatty girl, and her voice in this comic was fun- I know “silent Asian” has a lot baggage and Cass’s original character leaned into some stereotypes- but the first chapter/part would been far more powerful if it had her world be a little more silent and fully emphasized the visual, for her interactions with people and words be garbled and confusing, and if it gave us more of a sense of the world she comes from and how her perception of things differs from the average person. Cass’s original debut and the beginning of her original series did a really good job giving us a sense of this, and took great advantage of comics as a visual medium, and I missed that.

-Cass learns to read and talk SUPER EASILY and it just comes off as unbelievable. I do like the idea of her camping at a library, eavesdropping, and teaching herself, but I would have liked to see her actually struggle like a person would. Moreover, while I know the presentation of it was very flawed, Cass basically had a learning/language disability in the original series. I was kind of hoping this comic would lean into that, and actually give a more realistic and nuanced representation of that kind of disability (it could have been presented as something she always had that was exacerbated by how she was raised, not caused by it!).

 Honestly, I think her romance with Erik would have been far more interesting and meaningful and tied in better if she’d actually struggled to read, maybe even discovered she was dyslexic and couldn’t quite read the same way he could. That could have been a source of development between them.

-David Cain’s a super flat as a character in this comic, he doesn’t have much presence, menacing or otherwise, and Cass’s complicated feelings and relationship with him is not nearly as painful as they were in her original series.This is partly because there wasn’t a lot of a space for it though, and that’s fine.

-Overall, the main thing that hurts the story is that we don’t see all that much of what Cass’s life was like as an assassin, and her life with David Cain was like. It’s harder to invest in Cass’s transformation into a hero when we don’t really have a sense of who she was before,it’s hard to appreciate her breaking free when we can’t get a sense of what kind of cage she was even in. How much language DID she know? How much of the world was she exposed to? What was she really deprived of? I hope if there’s a sequel we can see more of this.

-Babs isn’t the main character of course, so this isn’t a real complaint, but I did miss her cynical and angry edge. She’s pretty much just a chipper nerd with no sign of her own baggage in this, and it makes her relationship with Cass less interesting. It’s implied that her “accident” did affect her and she just managed to work through a lot of it before she met Cass, but I missed the element of their relationship where they both were hurting from losing  “the world they knew” and working through it together, sometimes clashing, etc.

-I read one of Sarah Kuhn’s YA novels in anticipation of this, and while I’m relieved this is better about it than her first book was (I expected it to be, writers improve, I definitely know how messy a first book is) there’s still some cringe-y ideas of how “average” teens talk creeping in, occasional clunky pacing etc.

But all in all? It was a really nice little story that did a lot of cool things, and I really want a sequel and want more of this version of Cass and her universe. As someone who was driven away from DC comics in part because of how badly they treated Cass, Oracle and the Batgirl legacy. it’s really like a salve on old wounds.

[namirotraeu]

Online Relationships

I know it took me a long time to finish this fic, but I hope you’ll still give it a try. I originally planned it to be longer. I had to delete several scenes since it does not match, maybe I’ll use it in my future fics. 

Please enjoy the final chapter and let me know your thoughts. 

“Personalities and relationships tend to differ offline. “

(Part 1) I (Part 2) I (Part 3)

Title: Online Relationships- Part 4

Pairing:Trafalgar Law X Nami

Genre: Romance / AU

Rating: T

Word Count: 1734

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, they rightfully belong to Oda Eiichiro.

Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships because of her beauty. It was not her fault that she became the cause of a ten-year war. It was the Fates who were weaving her destiny. Nami liked the epics The Iliad and The Odyssey, which tells the story of Helen. She read the books all over again every time she finds time to do so. She loved how the story tells that we are rational beings and it is our actions that makes our fate. Helen chose to love and that love became the downfall of a lot of people. Nami, on the other hand chose, to leave a comment on Law's post. She never thought it would end up like this.

16 love reactions. 5 likes. 25 comment replies.

Luffy D. Monkey: Zoro, Sanji, Robin, Franky, Ussop, Chopper, Brook, Vivi and Shiraoishi. Look! Nami, we demand an explanation! Since when did you and Torao became too close?

'Ugh, why did Luffy have to be the first one to see this? He even tagged all our closest friends.' Nami thought in despair.

Sanji Vinsmoke: Is the shitty doctor your boyfriend, Nami-swan? T^T

Zoro Roronoa: Witch, I told you to behave. Law, better take care of her.

Nico Robin: My, my, I never knew that he stole your heart, Nami.

Chopper: So it was Law that Nami likes?

It was not only her friends that reacted and commented. Even Law's friends did.

Shachi: Captain! She commented. Hurray!

Penguin: Yay! Our captain is on his spring time.

Bepo: Sorry for not noticing it earlier. I'm rooting for the two of you. May your relationship be strong. Aye!

X-Drake: Hmm..

There are a lot of people who reacted which she did not know personally, but were mutual friends with Law in Facegram. At this point in time, she regretted what she did. It would be a big deal for his and her friends. She even read a comment conversation between Penguin and Luffy saying they should team up to match the two of them. What is done is done, so she decided just to meet up with her friends in Baratie's Food Joint. Luffy said that Robin and Franky will be joining them since they have no work for today.

Her friends have already placed their own orders when she came to their table. She ordered her favorite tangerine smoothie and the lunch special from the counter. Luckily for Nami, Law and his friends were seated far from their table. She is too ashamed to look at them, but her curiosity urged her to take a glimpse on his table. Even with the crowd their eyes always find each other. His lip draw into a smirk, then he waved at her. She smiled and waved back while her cheeks is slightly blushing. It felt like it was just the two of them in the food joint full of people. But they are not. Both their group of friends is observing the two of them.

Luffy, Chopper and Ussop was laughing out loud when they saw Nami coming back to their table.

"Why are you laughing?" Nami questioned. The trio continued to laugh till Ussop decided to answer her.

"Law sudden used his bag to hide his face after you smiled at him. He was so red."

"Eh? I don't believe you. We both know you're a liar." Nami taunts her friend.

“Shishi.Torao! Look over here. Nami wants to see your face" Luffy shouted. Nami hurriedly punched Luffy to silence him.

She subtly glanced and saw Law's friends looking at her while pointing at Law, who is burying his face on the bag. His friends was laughing and teasing him. He is obviously pretending to be sleeping, she knew he wasn't someone who can sleep in any place. She found this scene cute and she happily ate her lunch with her friends.

                             ───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Marine duties in the town vary depending on which branch you are assigned. Being a Rear Admiral, Drake doesn’t have much to do than waiting for a new mission for him. He often uses his time off visiting museums to see dinosaur artifacts or collaborate with universities for dinosaur researches as a hobby. Today was he was supposed to meet Corazon, Law’s foster father, to fetch a package for his father. However, the old man called that he will be sending over his son because he has urgent matters to deal with his brother.

He knew the whole time him and Law would be together would be spent with them pissing off one another. That nerd really makes him tick. Just thinking that they would be meeting up in a few minutes made him exhausted.

While strolling in the park, he saw a familiar red head who was leisurely walking.

“This would be interesting.” He thought. He heard that Law tend to be quiet when she’s around.

“Nami!” He called out.

“Oh! Hey Drake. It’s been a long time since I last saw you. What’s up?”

“Nothing new really. I’m supposed to meet up with Law in Buggy’s Steak House for lunch. Join us.” He invited.

“It is your treat? You know I like free things.” The younger girl beamed.

“Of course, and you’ll get a bonus of seeing Law.” He teased.

“I see him almost every day in the campus or at Baratie. He should be the one getting a bonus of seeing a cute girl like me on weekends.”

“You should say that to him.” He chuckled.

They arrived shortly at the Steak House. Law was already grumpily waiting for Drake.

“You said you’d be here thirty minutes ago.” Law scoffed.

“My bad. I brought company.” Drake pointed at Nami.

“Nami-ya?” Law was shocked at the unexpected appearance of the girl.

Drake wanted to laugh out loud at the shocked state of Law. The rumors were indeed true. Maybe this lunch would be interesting.

“Hey Law!” Nami greeted.

Nami sat next to Drake while they are sitting in front of Law. Law ordered for Nami because Drake won't stop teasing him to pay for her.

"I never knew you were this close." Law stated as he looked at the two red heads conversing like its just the two of them.

"We knew each other for quite a long time and you know the thing about Robin." Nami explained. Drake and Robin used to date, however, things didn't proceed romantically as both have their priorities.

"Hn." Law quietly finished his meal.

The two red heads continued on talking. While he stayed quiet observing the two.

It didn't take too long for Drake to excuse himself. “I better go. We have emergency at the base. Walk her home or I’ll tell Cora-san that he did not raised you to be a gentleman. Surely, he will be disappointed.”

As a matter of fact, there was no emergency. He was just annoyed by Law’s state. He thought he would enjoy him squirm at the girl’s beauty, but it became boring since its not like his usual shitty attitude. Might as well give the two a little push. Maybe Nami could forgive some of his debts.

                             ───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

"You don't really have to walk me home, Law. I'm going to the university to check on the progress of our team's prototype." Nami said.

"Nah. I'll walk you there. Could it be you're afraid of me?"

Nami was shocked by the question. She was quite shy that he is walking her to the university but not afraid.

"Nope. Why would I be afraid of you? I doubt a nerd could outrun me." She taunt.

"I don't think so. I may be a studious type of person but I have been athletic since I was middle school. I beat up Shachi and Penguin when I first met them."

"Being violent is not the same as athletic. Why would you even beat up your friends."

"It was their fault since they were bullying Bepo. We were all young back then." He argued.

She noticed he is awkwardly keeping distance between the two of them as they walk.  

"You know, sometimes I don't get what you are thinking. Online we are so close, but offline we're so awkward." She said bluntly. If she wanted to move forward they would have to break their barriers.

"Its just that I don't know. When I'm with you I feel like a different person, Nami-ya. Every plan I make to get close to you, seems won't work. I guess plans do not apply to you and your friends."

"Do you really like me? Or are you just pressured from the people around us?" She was embarrassed to ask, but decided to ask anyway.

"Why would I be pressured? When I met you before it was just you, not my friends nor your friends. At first I thought I was just an infatuation, but it grew on me. Nami-ya, I like you."

She leaned to gift a light kiss on his cheeks. "Let's take it slow until you are used to being around me. We should hang-out like today more."

He stared a her rosy cheeks and glorious smile. What happened today will surely change them.

"Oh! I think we should give them our response, Mr. Heart stealer."

                             ───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Their friend's phone rang with a notification; it was a tagged comment from Law. He posted a photo of Nami drinking coffee from a cafe. From the photo, they could see Law's favorite hat on the table.

'I don't know about being a Heart stealer, but this girl clearly stole my heart.' This was the caption of the photo.

Before their friends could comment on the post, another notification rang. Again, they were tagged in the comment section, but this time it was by Nami. The photo she posted was from the same cafe. A booked covered the lower area of this face, while his golden eyes looked straight to the camera. Nami leaned her cheek on the top of his head, while giving a bright smile and peace sign.

'Oops! Exams are still ahead. Gotta keep this nerd Heart stealer focused on studying.'

Nami captioned it this way to show that even if they will be moving forward, their dreams would be their top priority.

It wasn't long until her and his phone began ringing. They friends wouldn’t stop until they heard the whole story. 

[carlottastudios]

Why does my internal motivation seem to hate posting on Saturdays so much? But regardless, you guys ARE getting two posts this weekend! Hurray! Hopefully, these will lift your spirits at least a little during these nutsy times. Also, get ready for a long-ish description for this drawing because I feel it deserves it. This is a bit of a special sketch for me, not only because it features my current-favourite-ship-ever, but also because it was inspired by a certain song. A song which is basically KeithxZuri in a nutshell, and thus a song that I have personally dubbed “DA KEIRI SONG”. Yes, in all caps. Because I’m extra and because, seriously, it’s a beautifully fitting song. The song is, as you might’ve guessed from the title of this sketch, Shelter by Ray Lamontagne, but SPECIFICALLY, the cover version by Steven Yeun. And if that name rings a bell, THEN IT SHOULD! BECAUSE IT’S KEITH’S VOICE ACTOR! That’s right! The VA for half of this ship sang a beautiful cover of this song (not to mention played it on the guitar) (can I just take a moment to acknowledge the fact that Steven Yeun has the voice of an angel?) (oh, and I totally headcanon that Keith can play the guitar now!), this song which is beyond-a-doubt the theme song for this ship. Can you see now why I found this song so fitting that I had to make a drawing based off of it?!?! And why I hope to write a fanfic based on it too?!?! Now, given my huge-ass list of fanfic ideas, I can’t make any promises on the fanfic front, but I will try my darndest to write this one! And I will attempt to fill it with feels, hurt/comfort goodness and romantic softness out the wazoo! Now, I could end this description here, buuuuttt I wanna wax poetic a bit longer on why I find this song so damn fitting for my precious emo babus, as well as touch on why I drew them like this, soooooo I’m gonna! XD Firstly, I’m just quickly going to share the lyrics of the song to you guys so you all know what I’m talking about during my poetic waxing (also, here’s a link to the cover so you can fully appreciate Steven Yeun’s blessed rendition of this song: https://youtu.be/k6wDOi2HrsI): I guess you don’t need it I guess you don’t want me to repeat it But everything I have to give I give to you It’s not like we planned it You tried to stay but you could not stand it To see me shot down slow as though it wasn’t an easy thing to do Listen well All of this around us will fall over I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do You will shelter me, my love, and I will shelter you I will shelter you I left you heartbroken But not until those very words were spoken Has anybody ever made such a fool outta you? It’s hard to believe it Even as my eyes don’t perceive it The very things that make you live are killing you Listen well All of this around us will fall over I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do You will shelter me, my love, and I will shelter you I will shelter you Alright, so you all know this song now? Good! Now why is this song so fitting for keiri, you might be wondering if you weren’t one of those to whom I’ve rambled about keiri in private chats and therefor know more about this ship than most of my followers? Allow me to enlighten you!!! The song seems, at least in my interpretation, to be about a couple who’s facing difficulties, but that still love each other, and the narrator/singer affirms this love and this commitment and devotion they and the person they’re singing about/their partner have. It’s like the whole message of this song is “This isn’t going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it, and even if everything else goes to shit, I know you still love me and I sure as heck still love you, and that’s what matters”. At least, that’s how I interpret it, and I know it might not be the original intended meaning, but that’s the meaning I get from this song. And this message pretty much describes how Keith and Zuri get together in most of my headcanons, including my main headcanon, which is the storyline I would write if I were in charge of VLD and had to make it a show. See, Keiri isn’t a fast-burn romance. I wouldn’t call it a slow-burn either, because I’m a bit too impatient to make it a slow-burn (I prefer couples being together over the process of them getting together), but the point is that they don’t get together immediately. The biggest reason for that is because of their emotional baggage. Keith, as we know, has trust issues and fears getting rejected and hurt by people he cares about. Zuri, for her part, is still stuck in the grieving process for the many losses she went through in her life and she fears that, if she gets close to someone again, they’ll just end up dying in the war just like pretty much everyone she cared deeply about in her life until this point. Nonetheless, they end up forming a bond and grow to deeply care about each other. It gets to the point where Keith trusts Zuri, views her as a close friend and even likes the idea of being in an intimate relationship with her (it helps that, yes, he finds her attractive). On Zuri’s side, it’s much the same: she trusts Keith, she’s attracted to Keith, she enjoys his company, she finds that she’s closer to him than she is with anyone, and the idea of being in a relationship with him does appeal to her very much. But it also scares her. All of the things I just said about how she views Keith scares her. Because what if something happens to him? What if he gets injured or worse in the war? What if it claims his life as well as the lives of everyone else she’s opened her heart to? Then all the pain of loss that she’s been trying to numb herself to and supress all these years will come crashing back, maybe even worse than before! So, even as she and Keith grow closer throughout their “courtship” period, she’s trying the whole time to keep a distance between them, to subtly push Keith away, to prevent him from getting too close, to keep from letting him in entirely. But Keith realizes what she’s doing. I mean, it’s hard for him not to: it’s what he’s been doing for years. And he knows first-hand how lonely and sad this kind of self-isolation feels, not to mention how unhealthy it is! BTW: I just want to note that, at this time, he’s forming closer bonds with the other paladins and getting a truly supportive found-family/support system, even though all that stuff with the BoM is still on his mind. I just wanted to say that he is in a better headspace by now. Still not perfect, but better than at the start of the show. So, yeah, he recognizes what Zuri’s trying to do and he knows that it’s not okay. So, he confronts her about it, which does get her to reveal what she’s going through and to admit that, yes, she’s been trying to push him (and the other paladins, I might add) away because she’s so terrified of the pain that losing him (and them) will cause her. And Keith is understanding, but also more determined than ever. He lets her know that he understands why she’s doing this, to avoid pain, but it’s going to cause more harm than good and it’s just going to hurt her in the long-run and he doesn’t want her to go through that hurt. He understands that she’s scared and that she has reason to be scared (they are fighting a war, after all) and that, honestly, he’s scared of losing his loved ones too. Hell, he did lose a loved one, his father, years ago, and it does still pain him. But that doesn’t make him wish he’d never loved his father. Similarly, his fear of losing the paladins doesn’t make him love them any less, and his fear of losing Zuri doesn’t make him not love her. It just makes him want to make the very most of his time with her. He tells her that he’s there for her, that no matter what she does, he’s not going to stop caring about her, and he knows that she cares about him too. He doesn’t push this part too much, though, thankfully. He respects Zuri too much to try coaxing her into the relationship that, let’s face it, they both know she wants. He’s ready and willing to be with her, but only if she is. It’s got to be mutual and, if she decides that she just isn’t ready to face her fear or that loving him is worth the pain that it could bring, he’ll be sad as hell but he’ll respect that. Thankfully, though, Zuri, after given a bit of time to think it over, does choose to stop living in fear and letting it cause her so much internalized and supressed heartache and misery and loneliness. So, even though it scares the shit out of her, she confesses her feelings for Keith and they finally get together. Of course, they still have their own issues and their problems don’t go away with them getting into a relationship. But the fact that they’ve found someone they can be open with, someone who they know will support them and love them throughout all of the trials life can offer, does make things easier. They are each other’s shelter in the storm of life, so to speak: not making the storm go away, but making it easier to bear as they get through it. And that, kids, is why I effin’ love my ship and why this song (particularly this version of the song) is their theme song! Also, I think that’s a long enough description for you! If you read the whole thing, you earn a gold star and a cookie! REFERENCES: None to be had except the character designs! DISCLAIMERS: Voltron: Legendary Defender © DreamWorks & World Events Productions Zuri © me this drawing © me

[christinefoley]

How To Manage Time and Work Like A Boss

I’ve been a teacher for nearly thirty years now, and so I should be red hot at knowing how to manage time. After all, the average classroom teacher regularly has so many plates spinning on a daily basis that every limb is a whirling blur in perpetual motion. Experience has taught me that allowing even one plate to go gyrating off its axis can bring chaos and catastrophe for the whole delicately balanced collection.

Blogging

But this blogging malarkey- well, that’s different. And I’m finding the whole issue of time management more challenging than I’d anticipated, to be completely honest. I mean, thinking about the whole idea of becoming a blogger was…well- just fantastic, really. I love writing, and blogging means that I can write about stuff that really interests me, and never again have to write about things that just don’t.

Primary School Teacher

To clarify what I’m talking about, you may not know this, but the average primary school classroom teacher is obliged to take an interest in such mind-numbing subjects as: rocks and soils, units of measure ( both metric and imperial), adverbial phrases and subordinating and coordinating conjunctions. Admit it- you’re bored already! Imagine having to feign interest in that lot- and a whole host of even more boring topics besides- for nearly thirty years! I don’t know how I’ve done it!

Working From Home

So, what I thought was: become a blogger: write about interesting things, things that get my fingers positively sparking over the laptop key board: it’ll be great! Hey- and you get to do it from home, and manage your own time! Goodbye M6! Goodbye difficult parents! Ta-ta to staff meetings and professional development and tedious meetings about assessment. No more report writing- hurray!!

This will be the new pattern of my Week

Monday morning: awakened at 7am by the alarm- no more 6:30 for me anymore! Up, dressed, breakfast and ready at my laptop to report for writing duty by 8:30 am at the latest.

Straight into writing/ preparing next blog post.

Timetable

9:30 am: take first break: wee, coffee, throw the ball for the dog in the garden for around 20 minutes, then back to the keyboard to work steadily through until lunch at around 12:00.

12:00 healthy lunch put together: salad, hummus, green stuff- that sort of thing- and eaten before 1pm before returning to the laptop for another hour’s work. That hour will be spent emailing, and suchlike.

FREE TIME!

2pm-5:00 FREE TIME! Wow! The whole afternoon off!!

Obviously ,this precious time will not be frittered away on any kind of pointless activities: no, it will be utilised for exercise, dog-walking and attending classes that I’ve really wanted to attend but have always been otherwise occupied teaching PE, the Egyptians or subordinate clauses or suchlike. No, now I will spend my afternoons attending French conversation sessions, singing, creative writing workshops and book clubs. I may even join a hiking club and enjoy hiking in the nearby Lake District.

5pm: teatime. Evenings will be spent working on my blog business- no more than an hour or so- and then I’ll actually go out: live music, pubs, the theatre, meals out- whatever I want, because there are no lessons to plan for the next day- and certainly no marking. Fantastic!!

Manage Time?

It’ll be a joy! No more telling myself I’ll do an hour’s marking, then I’ll fill in those assessment tables and then I’ll spend another hour and half preparing tomorrow’s lessons, before……..NO MORE, No more for me!

So, you’re asking, has it worked out like that?

Well, the fact is that I’m still teaching at the moment, so haven’t had the chance to try out this new lifestyle which I have planned out for myself just yet; but I’m having this creeping suspicion that I’m not going to be able to live that life exactly to plan.

Deadlines

Why not? Well, I guess I kind of like deadlines- I am programmed to respond to them anyway. I was always that one who started working on my essays well before the deadline at university, so that I had plenty of time. I was never the last minute panic type-no, I kind of used the whole two weeks preparation time to get pages of notes together and then panic over the last few days about how I was going to create anything of any value out of all that stuff.

Being My Own Boss

What worries me now, is that, as a blogger, working on my own blog, I am going to have to impose my own deadlines, and I’m not convinced that I’ll be all that good at it. It’s that thing about being my own boss- in one way, it’s what we dream of, but in another way it’s kind of scary. I mean, when you’re at work and things go tits up, the boss is ultimately the one who has to take it on the chin- not you. But if you are your own boss, and things don’t go right- well……it’s all your fault.

How To Manage Time and Work Like A Boss

So, before I cut the umbilical cord of a regular job and life pattern, I’ve been researching some hints and tips from the experts about time management- I’m in my note-taking preparation stage.

Find Your Most Productive Hours

Now, there’s a great idea! Work out when you are generally at your most productive and schedule most of your heavy lifting tasks for those times. A  first rate tip for time management- after all, how many people have you heard declare themselves a ‘night owl’ or ‘an early bird’? Loads, right?

Night Owl, or Early Bird?

So obviously that got me to thinking about myself: am I a night owl, or an early bird? A night owl, probably, because I’m used to working in the evenings after school. OK, so save all the deep-thinking stuff for the evenings. Yes…..possible, I guess.

Write a to-do List the Night Before

Undeniably a top idea! Apparently, only takes about five minutes and it means that the next day you can hit the ground running without any fiddling about. Hmmm, so- five minutes before bedtime…just a quick list…

You know what that would mean for me? Five minutes writing, followed by 45 minutes lying awake thinking it all through. Sleep well and up at 7:00 am to hit the ground running? Not on your nelly.

Back to the drawing board…next tip for how to manage time, please?

Start on the Most Critical Task First

Yes….now, that’s good….I get that. Get the thing that’s bothering you most out of the way first thing and you’re bound to feel better about yourself and what you can achieve.

Now that makes perfect sense! Thing is….that’s just not me. No, better for me to get a few little things ticked off my list first to get me stoked up with enough confidence to bring out the big guns and get cracking on those tasks that are going to CHANGE MY LIFE.

Sit down at my laptop and hit myself straight between the eyes with something that scares the pants off me and has probably kept me awake ever since I wrote it down on that to-do list the night before? That just ain’t happening.

Next hint, please….

The Eisenhower Matrix

What d’you mean- you’ve never heard of it? Well, I’m not a fan of tables, because they bring out all my twitches, but this one makes perfect sense- you may want to look it up. In essence, the idea is that you write down all the tasks you need to do- in one, long, terrifying list- then you categorise all the tasks. If it’s urgent, mark it ‘U’, if it’s important, mark it ‘I’, and if it’s neither of those, then cross it out.

Still following me?

Next, you evaluate how much time each of the remaining tasks on your list is likely to take and arrange a plan for yourself. Now, I must admit, I’m liking this idea of time management…especially the stuff that you can cross off the list altogether. The aim is to identify your genuine priorities: which tasks on your list are going to get you to achieve your objective the most quickly, and which, simply, are not.

Like it. Yes, this is one for me! Next tip, please…..

Use Time Constraints- Set a Timer

This tip to help you to manage your time advises using a timer to set time to achieve certain tasks, as the task will inevitably expand if there is an unrestrained time in which to do it. The idea is to beat the timer- complete the task in even less time than that which you allocated!

Hmm. Have I not escaped the 5-9 to escape exactly that- time constraints? The school timetable is gone, so I devise one of my own? Not sure I want to do that to myself, although I do understand the benefits of this time management idea, and every task does undoubtedly expand if there are no constraints in terms of time.

Hmm… I need to think this one through…….and while I’m thinking about it I might just make another cup of coffee and put a load of washing on…maybe iron those few shirts? Watch a bit of TV?

No, Christine, you’re talking about being productive, remember? Now, sit down and just get on with it.  

Next hint to ace time management, please.

No Distractions

No browsing your ‘phone, checking through emails, doing odd bits of housework. Now I have struggled with this trick of how to manage time, but have actually had a breakthrough in recent weeks.

What has worked for me, is to go out of the house- no dog wanting to play, no endless possibilities for making coffee and no housework-style responsibilities. The other benefit of being out of the house-for me- is no silence.

Silence

I’m not very happy with silence- it makes me a bit edgy. Never been very productive working in libraries and such places. However, it’s no good putting on music either, because then I start listening to that instead of concentrating on the job in hand.

Coffee Shops

I’ve found that coffee shops are my perfect place for productivity. Not only is there the gorgeous aroma of freshly-ground coffee beans wafting up my nose, but there’s just the right kind of background noise- neither too loud nor too silent to distract me. Obviously, a great cup of cappuccino also enhances the whole experience.

If you would like to learn more about how to manage time, and tips that you could use to improve your own productivity, then take a look at this excellent article by Dan Silvestre: ’23 Time Management Techniques of Insanely Busy People.’

[mikami]

Death Note Audio Drama 10

Disc 10: Karma Police - a summary / partial translation

Prior translations / an explanation as to what the fuck this is.

After I majorly burned myself out on doing these, I am BACK with the rest of this drama in tow. 10 down, 2 to go.

In this: nonsensical but wild shinigami lore, confirmation of ghosts, an actually sad dialogue of grief over Soichiro, and transparently agenda-based bad writing decisions that make me lose my mind with how bad they are.

_____________________

We start with a dramatic audio sequence from Kira’s Kingdom. Topics are the rise of pseudonyms in social media and unjustified Kira killings based on rumors online. There is also... a studio guest!

DEMEGAWA: Here in the studio, I can welcome Teru Mikami. Prosecutor in new Kira cases from all over the world.  I, Hitoshi Demegawa, take your calls, read your mails, listen to your stories. Whole lifestyles are overhauled, behaviours defined anew. How we approach other people is often only dominated by fear. And... love. The love of Lord Kira. This is Kira’s world. We’re just living in it.

(Note by me: what the fuck does this mean??? Literally what the fuck does any of that mean?? How is a case a Kira case?? He’s pro-Kira not anti-Kira?? Hello?? On that note, DEMEGAWA IS ALSO PRO-KIRA??? WHY IS HE SAYING ANY OF THIS???? The fact that the audio drama writers had zero commitment to even trying to make Kira-following believable in story irritates me a lot. They do so much obvious moralizing at the cost of the story. Like yeah, Kira is bad, but a sane listener doesn’t need you to literally punch them in the face with it............................)

______________________

TITLE MUSIC

______________________

Mello meets Ms Sugai, the mafia lawyer from last disc. They’re at the beach, waiting for the drone to arrive. Ms Sugai is very demanding, definitely views herself as the boss here. She takes Rod Ross’ role in this drama.

The drone gets there, Sugai nitpicks Mello’s methods, Mello stays calm, and the drone is retrieved and brought to Sugai’s place.

_____________________

L and Shidoh arrive in Tokyo. Shidoh remarks how it was very different last time he got there (after the war). Shidoh suspects the war is the cause of shinigami having gotten so lazy, since a lot of them didn’t have to kill for ages after this. (Nevermind that this is complete bullshit because shinigami don’t have anything to do with ‘normal’ deaths and thus would not actually have had to work any at a war unless they were directly painstakingly orchestrating it, lmao.)

L wonders if youkai in Japanese folklore. are just half-remembered sightings of Shinigami. Shidoh isn’t sure.

Shidoh also explains that L’s body is going to change. Everyone starts out with the body they died in and then changes. Shidoh speculates it is related to the manner of death or maybe the personality of the person. 

L: Are you trying to say all Shinigami started out as humans?

SHIDOH: Not necessarily. But even a human will change over the course of centuries. I don’t know, L. Maybe your teeth are going to get longer and longer. Or! Horns may come from your skull. Or you’ll just keep growing taller. Death is only the beginning.

The two of them arrive at the Task Force Headquarter. Shidoh goes in, L leaves.

_______________________________

Soichiro is trying to get into the headquarters despite having already had his retirement party. But officially he’s still employed - yet he can’t get in because he’s suspended after stealing the Death Note to free Sayu.

_______________________________

Shidoh approaches Ryuk about his notebook. He demands it back, but Ryuk doesn’t know where it is. 

_______________________________

Matsuda and Light are sorting through Watari’s huge amount of physical files that he kept in a storage room. None of that seemed relevant to them 5 years ago. It’s mostly data about his charity work, including his orphanage for gifted children, Wammy’s House. There is a file on N, but there is no picture, only a drawing. Likewise with M. M has a juvenile criminal record in his file. They deduce M is the one who stole the Death Note.

______________________________

Sugai comes to talk to the mafia guy the police arrested. Since she’s his lawyer. She tells him that he has to sit his time in jail for a few months until she gets him out. She also dictates what to state as his testimony.

______________________________

Shidoh then approaches the dude. The dude is appropriately shocked. Shidoh wants him to say where the Death Note is. 

______________________________

Light sees this freak-out on the camera feeds and assumes a shinigami is in the cell. Light figures out that Ryuk handed over a stolen Death Note. He’s highly amused. 

The mafia guy tells Shidoh where the headquarters are (on the other end of Tokyo) and the investigators who are listening in now also know.

______________________________

Sugai is incredulous that the weapon they got is just a book. She’s immediately wants to test the book. She and Mello discuss the rules and capabilities of it.

______________________________

Light decides not to tell Near about these developments. The Task Force wants to get the notebook back themselves. They scheme how to storm the building, there is a bunch of technical talk about methods here.

______________________________

Sugai and Mello still discuss the rules. Shidoh appears and immediately tells them the 13 day rule is fake. 

______________________________

Misa and Light are at a public swimming pool. Light chose the location so nobody can wear a bug and also to drown out noise with the whirlpool. Misa is excited about the outing. Light tells Misa to get rid of the notebook. She’s supposed to kill the mafia first, then give the book up. 

______________________________

Soichiro is tending to the roses. Sachiko is giving gardening advice, Soichiro doesn’t know shit about gardening. Sachiko is super happy Soichiro is home and wants to make out, wohoo. But Soichiro gets a call from Kira, rip.

Kira is Misa giving him the plan to storm Mello’s HQ, just like in canon.

______________________________

Mello starts wondering why someone would write the fake rules. And he figures that Kira wanted the police to read the fake rules, to give him an alibi.

_____________________________

The Task Force gets Kira’s Death Note. Soichiro has objections against the plan, morally. Everyone else is just like ‘eh’. 

______________________________

Shidoh asks for his book back, Mello and Sugai don’t want to return it. 

______________________________

The raid on the HQ is happening! Light is also in with them, he even has a gun. 

MATSUDA: Is your weapon ready to fire?

LIGHT: Yes, Matsuda. It is. I’m a real detective.

MATSUDA: For less than a week. How many shoot-outs have you been at?

LIGHT: One, this one included.

MATSUDA: Right. You may officially be my boss, but I still have 7 years on you. This is not a game.

LIGHT: You don’t have to tell me that.

People start dying and the raid is starting.

______________________________

Sugai and Mello notice the attack. Shidoh suggests the eye deal so they can defend themselves.

Sugai also suggests Mello pretend to take her hostage, since officially she is not a criminal and can thus count as a civilian hostage. Mello agrees. They try to take the back door to escape.

Shidoh is surprised nobody wants the deal.

Outdoors, Soichiro yells at them to give up. Mello recognizes his voice and knows his name. Sugai suggests he kill him. They realize neither of them has the book on them.

______________________________

Soichiro meanwhile finds the left-behind Death Note, hurray. Mello and Sugai do their hostage plan to get him to give up the notebook. Sugai screams really melodramatically.

Light also enters the scene but a surviving mafia goon has a target on him. Soichiro meanwhile forgot his weapon on some table, rip.

The situation is dire, Ryuk tempts Soichiro into the eye deal in a lengthy sequence of pointing out just how dire the situation is. Specifically the motivator here is that Light’s life is in danger. Soichiro takes the deal for Light.

_______________________________

The stand-off continues. More and more people from each side arrive at the scene and its more complicated. Soichiro reveals that he has Mello’s name (he pronounces it Michael) and threatens people with it.

Ryuk helps (?) by turning off the light for a moment, which causes people to shoot wildly. Soichiro runs to the roof, injured. Mello and Sugai chase him.

______________________________

Sugai decides to escape without the notebook and fucks off. https://twitter.com/MiyataVld/status/1153658045374746624

______________________________

Ryuk comes to Soichiro and says he ‘has’ to write his name. I don’t know how the fuck shinigami lore works in this. Light comes up to the roof and wants Soichiro to give him the notebook. Shidoh steps in, Soichiro gives HIM the notebook, Light is really pissed about it. 

SOICHIRO: We made it, son. We’re finally rid of it.... nobody can misuse it anymore.... And I still have the eyes.

LIGHT: Father...

SOICHIRO: I can see you now son... your name... your death date... do you know what that means?

LIGHT: You can’t go father! The ambulance is on the day. Stay strong. Look into my eyes. Look at me.

SOICHIRO: As I can see... it means... you’re not Kira....

LIGHT: Yes, father, I’m not Kira. But you have to hold on and tell it to the others as well. You can’t die, stay strong! Tell them what you’re seeing! Tell them... Father?! [sobbing noises]

______________________________

Soichiro’s funeral. A Christian sermon again, because who cares these guys are Japanese, I guess.

MATSUDA: Chin up, Light. He’d be proud of you.

LIGHT: Thanks, Matsuda.

AIZAWA: My condolences.

LIGHT: Thank you. Come on, mom. Let’s go home.

SACHIKO: You couldn’t change it either, huh...?

LIGHT: Mom! 

SACHIKO: I had him for two days! I waited 35 years and you only left him to me for two. days.

SAYU: Mom... Don’t say that! Not here!

SACHIKO: He was retired. Why was he even there?

LIGHT: He saved my life.

SAYU: And mine, too.

SACHIKO: Hah.

SAYU: He was a hero.

SACHIKO: I didn’t want a hero. I wanted my husband.

SAYU: Calm down, mom...

SACHIKO: Don’t you dare tell me to calm down. I lost him to the police. I lost my whole life to the police! And now they’ve got you, too.

LIGHT: He was proud of me.

SACHIKO: Of course he was. You’re just like him. It’s as if he was still standing in front of me, ready to doom another woman who will spend her life waiting for him to come home! 

MISA: Sachiko, please...

SACHIKO: Run while you still can, Misa. It’s not worth it! [sobbing] Why did you let him go?! Why didn’t you talk him into staying home?!

__________________________

RYUK: Humans are so funny.

L: You’re a monster.

RYUK: What the hell?? How did you get here?

L: Surprised to see me?

RYUK: Uhh, yeah? You’re... uh... You’re dead.

L: People keep telling me that lately.

RYUK: What’s going on here? Are you.... Wait. Are you buried here? Is this just a common haunting? 

L: Nope.

RYUK: In that case you’re just an echo, you see? It’ll fade soon.

L: Do I sound like an echo?

RYUK: No. You can’t just come back from the dead. That’s impossible.

L: Are you sure?

RYUK: There are rules. 

L: And do you also know the one that says you’re not allowed to steal someone else’s death note? That’s one of those rules, isn’t it?

RYUK: Aaah, that’s how Shidoh found me. 

L: We helped each other out.

RYUK: But he’s back home now. He left you here.

L: Yeah, there’s still a few things I need to do.

RYUK: You know that there is only a single way for you to still be here? There is only one way for this to end.

L: Yes.

RYUK: Wow, L. You really have to carry a major rage inside of you. 

L: I think I merely have a reason.

RYUK: Then just wait, buddy.

L: What?

RYUK: Light has got his teeth in your successor. You know, that miniature version of you.

L: Near. What can Light do to him?

RYUK: He’s close. Light is gonna turn his lights off.

L: But he doesn’t know his real name. He can’t kill him.

RYUK: He doesn’t need that. He just needs to cut him off from reinforcements. Cheers to the chief inspector!

____________________________

A press person tries to do damage control on Trump’s terrible politics. Many Trump jokes here. I am so tired of this drama reminding me Trump exists.

Trump then announces that the US won’t oppose Kira anymore.

___________________________

We’re still at the cemetery. Light is chilling there, as Ryuk urges him to go out. Light asks Ryuk what happens after death and wonders if Soichiro might know the truth now, wherever he is. Ryuk doesn’t answer conclusively. He accuses Light of being scared of his karma and scared of his father’s disapproval.

Light kept a few pages of Shidoh’s notebook. He killed Sugai with it. Light still wonders if his father is watching.

Ryuk says that ‘almost’ nobody ever came back from the dead.

__________________________

Mikami is on a debate program, opposing Paula Virilio. They’re discussing the US’s recent decision. This discussion is BIZARRE and I don’t understand why a single writing decision in it was made. Like, it just makes me so mad. I am solely translating it so everyone else can be mad with me.

TAKADA: Shocking statements from the US president today. But are they really so susprising? That’s what I want to ask general prosecutor Teru Mikami. Mr. Mikami?

MIKAMI: Good evening. No, it really isn’t surprising. I think this recent deed by the US mirrors are global, fast-growing movement that isn’t afraid to call Kira’s actions good.

TAKADA: It probably isn’t true that there aren’t any wars or crimes anymore.

MIKAMI: No. Kira’s actions are rather localized. He pays almost no attention to the third world. And not all crimes happen intentionally or are able to be put to trial without reasonable evidence.

TAKADA: And for you that’s alright?

MIKAMI: I think Kira is listening. I think he is watching us at this very moment. I think he reacts to movements and campaigns in the public. If his punishments reflect the worries of, say, the Japanese middle class, then that’s also a... how should I put this... function of his loudest supporters.

TAKADA: You’re saying that if we were more interested in, for example, Simbabwe, then Kira would do the same?

MIKAMI: That’s my firm belief. 

TAKADA: Also in our studio, is the law consultant Paula Virilio, who has lead both Interpol and the SPK in the past. To you the question... where is the 180° turn of the US president taking the criminal justice system?

VIRILIO: I don’t know if this step was really thought through. Only a short while ago, he signed a paper assigning more money to the according task forces. This step now... it is putting the whole task force into a tight spot. There are definitely going to be conflicts with Interpol. The step back from American engagement will likely have consequences.

TAKADA: Do you mean financially?`

VIRILIO: Interpol still views Kira as the world’s most wanted terrorist. And those who work with Interpol usually do this in the shape of a substantial financial contribution. So yes, I think this step will freeze both the US engagement with Interpol and this form of international cooperation at large, for an indefinite amount of time. With a whole row of unpredictable consequences, by the way. Cooperations across borders, agreements to hand people over, tax agreements... At baseline, he just turned the US into a paradise for organized crime.

MIKAMI: Come on, Paula, that’s ridiculous! 

_________________________

The scene cuts, to the SPK who was watching. They’re understandably displeased. And they argue that Kira must be blackmailing the president to do this. The SPK things they had something on Kira that made Kira fear them.

This makes them think back to the kidnapping stunt in Japan. 

Mello then calls the SPK.

MELLO: My condolences for the end of your job contract. Looks like sticking to the rules was a waste of time.

He then tells Near that he used to have the notebook for a little bit. Near is shocked the task force didn’t tell him any of that. Mello tells Near that he’ll have to work hard to catch up with him now.

Thus he gives Near a tip, telling him a rule is fake.

___________________________

We’re back on Kira’s Kingdom. They talk about Sugai, who’s suicide included a confession (thanks Light), about the family feud at Soichiro’s funeral, and then about protestants circling the SPK building.

___________________________

Near calls Light. He confronts Light on not informing him on the raid. He’s pissed and says they failed because they didn’t use his resources for backup.

He also asks Light what he thinks of fake rules and immediately admits Mello told him this.......................

Near elaborates on the idea that the fake rules were made to create an alibi. Light ‘deduces’ the correct fake rules.

Near suggests testing the book and its rules, the task force refuses this. Near then addresses the task force members and calls suspicion to Light being Kira. 

After the call ends, the anti-SPK protesters arrive at the building and try to storm it. Near and the SPK make a run for it.

_____________________________

Light says that Near is just desperate to present just about anything before his special task force gets dissolved. The task force discuss Near’s theory anyway.

Matsuda says that Near is just trying to split them apart. The other task force members aren’t as anti-Near.

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 97: After, You

Rise and shine, everyone! It’s September 12th, and you all know what that means right?  That means it’s the fourth year anniversary of January! Hurray!  And what better way to celebrate, than with a good ol’ Chapter rant on one of the most infamous chapters in BCB.  And after all the hype and shit I’ve heard about this chapter I can’t wait to dive right in, sink my teeth in, and properly dissect it! Hmm, that came out a lot hungrier than I thought…

We start off with a bit more of Lucy’s mom being really cute and funny.  Although I will say it’s kind of surprising to see that this takes place immediately where the last chapter left off.  I guess I’m so used to time frames between chapters being out of whack so much, I just got used to there being missing days or pieces.   Can’t tell if good thing or not.

Also, just to point it out. Dat Size Difference Tho.  Lucy’s mom is one small mama…or maybe Paulo’s exposure to Daisy gave him some of that mutant radiation and made him huge.  Either way!

We spend the first pages of this chapter doing…homework?  Kinda weird, I guess it helps to show Lucy and Paulo being nice together.  It’s just pointless ship sailing really, and we all know how that’s gonna g-

Bruh…

Wut?

O-oh we’re just going to brush past that?  We’re just going to move on, from that random as fuck cross-ship?  That’s what we’re doing? OH NO NO NO, YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! LET’S RECAP FOR A SECOND SHALL WE? WHAT DID WE JUST GET FROM THE LAST CHAPTER?

The emerging of Paulo and Daisy’s relationship.

The complete obliteration of Paulo and Rachel’s relationship.

And finally the revival of Paulo and Lucy’s relationship.  WHICH IS WHAT I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO GET INTO WITH THIS CHAPTER!  Putting myself in the writer’s seat for a moment, I thought well hey!  This is going to be a little ship ride!  And because I have ADHD I can’t really remember what the fuck actually happened in this chapter or what it was really about, but hey!  Maybe this is where Taeshi is going to focus on Paulo and Lucy, try and build up this ship and make us give a shit about it.  But noooo, that’s too focused for Taeshi!  Gotta get that shipping battle in, get that nice dramatic romance conflict!  That’s what the fans, and dedicated readers are really here for!  

THE FIRST FOUR PAGES! Before we get into what this chapter is actually about, before we know what we’re even in for, before we get to the real shit people want to read about, we gotta remind them that Paulo likes Daisy!  And I mean REALLY REALLY likes her!  Because fuck, they might’ve forgotten about that!  I mean it was only built up recently, was on the rocks for a bit, but got ironed out and set up IN THE LAST FUCKING CHAPTER!  What’s the point of this?  Why bring up that Paulo likes Daisy?  Do you think your audience whom you constantly bait with pairings, and relationships, would need to be hit over the head with a shoehorned reminder that Paulo has feelings for Daisy?!

Actually, yeah I think it’s pretty clear Taeshi has some contempt for her audience.  Given she thinks we need to be hit over the head this hard and often.  It’s honestly insulting, and I only read this shit occasionally.  I don’t know how some of you can put up with this crap.  Do the concussions just numb the pain after a while?  Whatever let’s get to the fun stuff.

Anyway, Paulo is walking with Lucy and it’s honestly not bad.  It feels weird for Paulo to be so desperate, but given that Lucy almost fucking died and was gone forever…Yeah it’s understandable.  But this though…

Uhhh…Paulo?  A-are you trying to scare Lucy?  …what?

Why are you t-rexing right now?  What’s wrong with your arms? Why are you explaining it like this? I mean I can get excited maybe?  But he seems ELATED about drama which is…dare I say…a smidge out of character?  What is this?  Also, I actually got tripped up reading this panel and I think that might be the positioning of the word bubbles because instead of using the traditional method of:

For whatever reason, in this panel specifically it’s:

Which is unnatural for most English readers, who end reading on the right.  So I didn’t even realize that Paulo said “Whuh?” there when I moved to the next panel.  Making the emotional shift in his character more jarring when he switches from oddly joking around, to:

Being moody, to Lucy’s disinterest.  But that’s just an odd thing I picked up after going through again to write this rant. It’s not THAT big of an issue, but I do have to ask:

Really? That’s what you got out of that? Paulo says that all your friends were really upset that you were gone, and that’s your response?  That’s the only thing you have to say about this?  Geeze, it’s almost like you don’t really care.

But anyway, we’re finally on to the Carnival.  And we actually do get some nice and interesting dialogue here.

Paulo starts to talk about the things she’s missed out on since she was gone, and it’s actually pretty nice. I like Paulo being more relaxed and natural, playing around with Lucy.  Although someone pointed something out to me that really deserves a mention:

Again?  Paulo is poor, but he’s never been one to “borrow” or mooch off his friends, especially not Lucy.  Paulo has consistently never let his poverty be a burden to anyone else, and it is a real positive factor about him that shows his selflessness.  Paulo to my knowledge never did stuff like that, he was the one who bought Daisy lunch, even when Mike was buying Paulo sodas for the contest it wasn’t like Paulo was mooching off Mike’s money to win the contest. It was more of a mutual effort, since Mike couldn’t stomach the stuff.   Lucy thinking Paulo would “borrow” things just seems so weird to bring up.  And I know none of this stuff is really major or that worth mentioning but honestly…

There is really not much to talk about here.  Imma be real witchu chief, I’m a little underwhelmed right now.  Guest of Honor had me gripped and had fun in the first parts, Boy Toy I could tear apart with its dumb decisions and missed opportunities, and so on and so forth, but this… This is weird.  It’s not that aggravating really, the next page after this is just Paulo and lucy doing rides.   I guess y’know, after 5 chapters that knock you around and turn my stomach inside out with force fed bullshit, I guess you gotta have a nice mediocre one to help mellow you out after a while.   I’m not really complaining, but I just heard so much about this I expected more y’know? I was hoping for something a bit more to sink my teeth into.  

But anyway, back to the comic.  Lucy asks Paulo about Abbey and Daisy (for some reason, honestly it seems she doesn’t care about the group anymore so why ask about them, and also why them?  They’re like the least close to Lucy why would she care about them?)  and…

…what?

*groan* fuck I found something to say.

First of all.  That Face.  Stop That Face.  Secondly, who the hell are you?  I know I said in the previous chapter, that Lucy is no longer Lucy, but this here really solidifies it and is very concerning.  Who the fuck is this?  Lucy has always been snarky; she’s always been one to goad people.  But she was never one to be eager to dig into other people’s drama like this!  What the heck is this?  Who the heck is this? Oh fuck it, whatever she’s a lost cause now.

At least they’re actually talking now which is something I can take some solace behind.  And also, yeah really Lucy!  You would’ve known that if you GAVE A DAMN!  

Okay I need to make up a new name for this new Lucy.  Cause I will never stop comparing her to the Lucy character that had been set up, built upon, and established before unless I make some title that draws a clear distinction to say that she isn’t Lucy.  Because this is so fucking weird to hear from Lucy, digging for drama, and stirring the pot directly like this.  Being such an asshole, and blatantly badmouthing Daisy like this behind her back.   This is not Lucy, I refuse to call her that in the horrible fear that this might actually affect my own view of Lucy, and thus my characterization of Lucy in my own comic.  Hmm, I’m thinking…how about Lacie?  Yeah that sounds good.  It’s like it’s ALMOST Lucy, but it’s not.  And it’s easy to remember, like Madison’s name!  Cause you shorten that to Maddie, and it perfectly encapsulates her entire character which is that she’s mad!   And Lacie perfectly encapsulates this character because…

I am a cheeky asshole.

Will say though, this panel got a smile out of me.  So that’s good.

Anyway, Lacie and Paulo are talking about Drunk Daisy, and it’s alright.  There’s some shipping tension and shit, and I’m just like…

Alright, guy get to the point.  At what point am I supposed to lose my shit at this chapter?  I swear to god, it’s January’s fucking birthday.  Don’t ruin this for me.  Gimme the fuckin’ goods.  Gimme something interesting.

Oh shit, Lacie just found out about Abbey strangling Paulo!  Oh shit, this is interesting!  

Awww Lacie is actually showing some fucking compassion to her friend!  Ignoring this being a blatant ship sailing moment, this is actually interesting!  Alright, you have my attention.  Where are we goi-

…

WHAT?!  BITCH ARE YOU FUCKIN’ F’REAL SHAKES RIGHT NOW?! YOUR FRIEND JUST TOLD YOU THAT YOUR OTHER FRIEND FUCKING THROATPUNCHED AND THREATENED HIM! AND YOU IMMEDIATELY JUMP TO GETTING UPSET WITH HIM ABOUT YOUR BROTHER?!  THAT’S THE NEXT THING ON YOUR MIND?!  THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GONNA BRING UP? RIGHT NOW?!  YOUR BROTHER BEING IN A CAR ACCIDENT?  A CAR ACCIDENT THAT WAS MONTHS AGO!  YOU’RE GONNA GET ON HIM ABOUT THAT, EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW IT WASN’T HIS FAULT, EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW JORDAN WASN’T HURT, EVEN WHEN YOU WERE LITERALLY THERE TO SEE BOTH YOUR BROTHER AND PAULO IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL!  

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! THIS CHAPTER IS LIKE REAL LIFE LAG ON A FREEWAY!  YOU’RE SWAPPING FROM BEING DEAD STOPPED TO GOING 100MPH TO IMMEDIATELY DEAD STOP AGAIN! WHAT IS THIS?  AND ALSO!

What is this tone shift? Lacie goes from caring and comforting with Paulo, to yelling at him, to being sad.  And I know!  Mood swings! Lacie is fucking broken, that is without a shadow of a doubt, but that doesn’t change the fact that this emotional rollercoaster is whiplashing me so hard my neck has the structural integrity of a wet noodle!  I’ve never seen a tonal shift like this before.  This isn’t just jumping emotions page to page; it’s fucking PANEL TO PANEL! What the fuck is this writing?!

Yes, I know I made a whole rant all about January this week, but bitch I will not pass an opportunity to make a good referential joke.  Also

“Abbey’s not that bad.” LACIE YOU DUMB SLUT!  YOU LITERALLY JUST HEARD HOW HE FUCKING THROAT PUNCHED PAULO! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Even ignoring that, Lucy (the real one) NEVER really liked Abbey.  In fact, she was the one person who actually rebuffed Abbey’s white knight schtick!

But let’s go back to the comic for a second, because I ain’t done.

That sure is a lot of presumptions for someone who ADMITTED SHE DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON!

BUT SINCE YOU APPARENTLY HAVE THIS ALL FIGURED OUT CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHARACTER?  

Who the fuck is this character? At least Paulo is speaking some fucking sense here!  So that’s one character who isn’t completely ruined. But seriously, what the fuck is this? What the fuck is this character?  

Wait!  You know what this character is?  After the recovery she seems to have all the answers?  She’s acting like she knows everything, that she doesn’t.  It’s like she’s trying to fucking make things go right, but she’s just…so…hateful…

Oh, I see what this is. This is like the result someone would get if they heard what I wanted to do with Lucy being proactive, trying to fix her messes, and standing up for herself; tried to recreate it but not knowing me outside of my negative views of the comic, and ignoring the actual adherence I put to the character.  This is what Taeshi thinks I think Lucy should be.  I feel like this is just one big stab at me… And if it ain’t…Then it’s just a stab in the heart to every fan who gave a shit about Lucy.

Also, dat mad tone shift again tho.

… Alright, just one more January reference.

Please just let me have this one, I just fucking love this scene.

BUT ANYWAY

Oh wow, it’s so beautiful. It’s like I’m looking at a real carnival from way up high…with my glasses off.  Alright, I kid I’m not gonna pick on Taeshi for not going all out on one panel, but it is a bit amusing given the dialogue (and knowing Taeshi can definitely make this look much, much better)

But aww isn’t that nice?

Such a nice sweet scene, of Paulo and Lucy comforting each other, and Lucy accepting the embrace.   It’s really sweet and cute, and there is nothing bad for me to speak about here.  Yet.

“What we did?”

Heh well that’s a queer statement.  

Wonder what you meant by that, Lacie.  Would you like to elaborate?  

Please tell the rest of the class...

What. You. Did.

CONTINUED IN PART 2

[dimples-of-discontent]

Hello, it is I, a 34 year-old woman who has come here to talk about someone I know who may or may not have a crush on me but it’s irrelevant because 1) he’s not single and 2) I have cancer so I’m not going to date anyone anyway. But guess what? I don’t care!! Some things just never change and the kind of “am I reading this right??” insecurity that you have when you’re a teenager just never goes away.

So, hey, if you’ve missed me I’m here to deliver all kinds of silliness tonight! I’ve been away lately because, during the week, I went to an appointment in Boston with a doctor from Harvard who specializes in the kind of breast cancer I have and (hurray!) think it really paid off and I think I’ll be treated there. Then, for the weekend, my NY-area friends and I went away to a cabin in the woods for pre-chemo celebration/togetherness. (Don’t worry; it wasn’t like a horror movie.) It was totally wonderful. I drove to and from the cabin with the dude in question. My adolescent ramblings below.

So, back in August I wrote this silly post about whether I was over- or misinterpreting my friend’s behavior. At the time, we’d been friends for about 3 months and he and his GF were long-distance. Now, we’ve been friends for an additional 7 months and she’s lived with him for 6 of those. They are now both actually my closest friends in town and really high on the list overall too. I like hanging out with them together and separately. We’ve got a neat nexus of overlapping interests so that any combination of the 3 of us has lots to talk about and a lot of fun. I’m somewhat closer to him, because we see each other SO often and because we often confide things in each other. I’m close to her too, though. It’s rare to find such good friends and, honestly, that’s the only really important thing. I have no interest in losing that.

Anyway, my read on the situation back when I posted in August is now pretty much that he was stressing out about the imminent arrival of the GF because they hadn’t been living together and she was moving there without a job just to be with him and that’s kind of a lot. I have no idea if it had anything to do with me. I think it may have, just in the sense of an additional thing. I think it’s likely that he had some level of crush on me--although even if not we were definitely good friends--and was worried about how that would change with the addition of a partner would change either dynamic. 

It all worked out because the minute the three of us met as a group we clicked instantly. We spent the summer and fall going hiking together and all having long conversations in the car and on the trail. We watched movies together and threw a Halloween party. He and I see each other 5-7 days a week (since we work together) and have a constantly active text conversations (the 3 of us have a GC too). I worried about intruding, but both of them invited me to stuff and were happy to be invited. (I did find it hard/annoying to try to see either one of them socially without the other...they do the couple thing of coming along as a unit but, ultimately, I didn’t make a thing out of it b/c they are great.) I could see how much he relaxed, literally the first few hours we all met up together as it was apparent how well we all got along. So, maybe he was worried about what I was going to do myself as well as his feelings? Who knows.

So I was pretty much on the side of “this was a temporary crush that abated once GF moved in and he remembered why they were together and it was clear that that wasn’t changing just b/c I was around.” That’s true, I think. But...ok. So, I’m very much one for crushing on, hooking up with, and getting into relationships with friends. I find it hard to know any other way. This means that I’m constantly keeping a lid on low-to-high level crushes for unavailable folks. (I think my brain is just wired for romantic/physical attraction to align with emotional closeness...too bad I’m only romantically and physically attracted to men though.) So of course--of COURSE--there is a part of me that wants us to be dating. Inevitably. It’s not helped by the fact that he reminds me so strongly of my first serious boyfriend, a wonderful guy I was with for 3.5 years. And, generally, I blame myself and this fact for any over-reading of things. But then I wonder if I’m not just gaslighting myself (an expert move) b/c I am so worried about coming off as arrogant by thinking he does have romantic feelings.

There are plenty of small things aside from just the constant contact. For one, he was deeply upset by my cancer diagnosis and is taking it all (including my feelings about it) very seriously. And, yeah, that is a very valid reaction, but we haven’t known one another that long...even my exes and friends from 10+ years ago haven’t been as affected, and the people who are have have been in my life for absolute ever. I’m shocked that he and the GF are willing to go through this with me since I feel like I haven’t given them much as friends so far, but they absolutely are so clearly they are just great people.

More frivolously, when one or both of us is intoxicated or otherwise in an altered state he’ll let himself be a lot physically closer to me than usual. Like, it’s actually notable that usually he tries hard not to be touching me, in a way that just has to be deliberate. Friends sit together and knock their shoulders or elbow each other or will pat backs, ruffle hair, share blankets, lean into each other...all the kinds of touching that communicate intimacy without it being sexually charged. If we do that by accident, he’ll move away fast. Except if he’s drunk. And even then it’s absolutely nothing untoward, just drifting into my space, resting knees together. One time we were standing in line for fried food after a bar night, with the GF, all happily drunk, and I leaned into him so our shoulders and arms were pressed together as I read the menu. He moved away so that we weren’t touching. Then, a fraction of a second later, he moved back so that we were pressed together again, like he’d made some kind of decision to do it. He also *never* says anything about my appearance. Like, not even “you look nice” when I’m dressed for an event or “I like your haircut.” Maybe he just doesn’t want to be brought in to validate me or something, but again it feels like it goes against the social norms for friends but makes sense if he’s trying to conceal non-platonic feelings.

We behave enough like a couple that people who encounter us, even at work, often believe we’re together. We share food and drinks (from the same plates or cups) and often bring things that the other has left behind at our places. We have to try not to get the giggles at meetings when inside jokes come up. We tease each other with stories only 2-3 of us (him, me, and GF) know. This is all kind of dumb and, mostly, background noise to a great friendship. I decided that we’d just always have a little tension/chemistry but that we’d probably never mention it and that’s fine. That’s likely right! But this weekend he and I drove up to this cabin together (about 3 hrs each way) and things felt...loaded?

I’m getting tired, so I may need to write down the rest of my thoughts later. But, on the way up, we listened to music and drove through the dark and had some good conversations about friends, family, work, life, etc. The weekend was great (about which more later, hopefully) and then today on the drive back (which, again, is close to 3 hours) we did nothing but talk. First, about life stuff and then, rapidly, about our entire relationship histories. We’d exchanged a lot of that info before--including how much I remind him of the GF before this one, which we affirmed again when I referred to her as “the one who is basically me” and he said “yeah, and in more than the superficial ways too.” To be clear, he wasn’t talking about his current relationship or implying anything like dissatisfaction with it. There was just a whole LOT of dating history, hookup history, good/bad feelings and experiences; the kind of long convo you can have with a friend while burning miles of highway.

We took a break, got back in the car, and I laughed and said “I feel like that was pretty much my whole history but if there’s anything else you want to know AMA!”. I didn’t expect him to take it seriously but he did and basically asked “What crazy things did you do when you were younger” and I was like “in what sense? and what’s do you consider ‘crazy’?” and he was like “I mostly mean sexually...and you get to decide what counts.” So, I don’t have a totally extensive experience to draw from but I have some so I shared a few and was like “what about you?” and then he shared a few. And we had actual real conversations about how relationships make you feel and about the weird nexus of desire and shame that can happen. 

Eventually I was like, “I think that’s everything I could tell you...anything else you wanted to know?”. And he goes quiet for a L O N G time and goes “is there anyone in [place where we live] that you have like a crush on?”. And I am rolling my eyes internally (and possibly externally) because EITHER this is the most obvious ploy to get me to say “oh it’s you!” that I’ve ever heard, or else he so TOTALLY doesn’t think of me that way that he’s not even counting himself as a possibility. So I just go ahead and say, “well, if you weren’t in a relationship I would want to date you” b/c I am not going to coyly misdirect. I’m watching the traffic b/c the highway is crowded so I don’t know what face he made but he says, “Thank you. I mean...yeah. I could see that happening. [pause] But what I meant was is there anyone you have just, like, an idle crush on?”. So then I feel kind of dumb because was that his way of letting me down gently? OR was it way of saying “yeah, what you’re talking about with us is more than an idle crush”?? One way makes me feel stupid for saying anything, and the other makes me feel like he pretty much just told me that we’d be dating if he weren’t with someone else - which is what I suspected but which I also thought it made me arrogant to think. (Or maybe it was just a way to not have to follow up on us both basically admitting that if things were different we’d be a couple.)

There was some other odd stuff, though none of it felt weird in a bad way just like it stuck out a little. (FYI, it was all in fun and not at all awkward - we are super comfortable together.) I was talking about how several times I’ve gotten together with guys for a short time who then went back to their long-term girlfriends and how one of my other friends said I was a “what if” girl; like “sure I have a girlfriend but what if I were with HER??”. And he was like, well yeah, that’s possible and a huge compliment b/c why not dream big? And then later said that clearly I could be a homewrecker if I ever wanted to be (though we both know I wouldn’t). He also told me about another girl who was his ex’s roommate who just started texting him again talking about how she’s unhappy in her relationship; he says they always had chemistry and that she’s reaching out b/c of that but that, obviously, he’s just playing dumb in the text messages and pretending that’s not what she’s doing. But, like, is he letting me know that other people like him? Why? Basically, I couldn’t get a handle on whether this conversation, whatever else it was, had a subtextual vibe of “I have doubts/questions about my current situation” or not.

Having typed it out, though, it sounds a bit like it does? And like they might involve me? Or that it’s just fully a “bad timing” kind of thing where we could date but obviously never will. Can we at least conclude that this is someone who is attracted to me?? It sounds like that, right?

I mean, it also sounds very silly and not appropriate to my age to be going over in such detail but, honestly, if it’s distracting me from cancer that’s kind of just good. Anyway, you are readers and writers of fic and consumers of literature so I appeal to you to let me know what YOU think is going on here...aside from the fact that no matter what I have a great pair of friends who I care very much about. I welcome the distraction....though if you could comment and not reblog that would be great. And thank you for reading this diary entry. ;)

[dixxymouri]

Dixxy vs One Piece Chapter 902: End Roll

IT’S TIME.

First, some ground rules. Where possible I’m going to use the official ViZ translation for chapters. That means we’ll probably get to revisit this whole affair on Monday when the chapter officially drops. Stephen Paul has been THE most trusted source for One Piece translations going back to well before he was officially working with ViZ so where comparison is available, that’s the translation I’m going with. Also, like, if he really needs to I believe he actually does have a contact at Japanese Shonen Jump if there’s something he doesn’t know how to translate in emergency situations. So in regards to dialog in 902 I’m going to take everything with a grain of salt until the official release. 

So I’m going to focus largely on THAT subject and ignore most of the rest of it for now. If y’all are good and get me lots of likes and reblogs maybe I’ll do a deeper dive into the rest of the chapter but yeah let’s talk about SanPu.

So, if you’re part of shipping culture in the online One Piece fandom and you just got back from being under a rock or on the moon for the last two months or so, here’s a quick visual representation of what the whole Luffy Nami Sanji Pudding ship war discourse looks like right now:

To recap the last few chapters, Pudding made some sort of last request of Sanji that we, the readers, didn’t get to see until 902 leaked online early this morning or late last night or whatever time it was in your particular time zone. In short? This:

Yup. A SanPu kiss happened. 

So on the one hand there’s probably some concerned Sanji x Nami shippers out there and there are definitely some Luffy x Nami shippers who are acting like total fucking assholes.

“Hurray! People who have never done any wrong to me or my loved ones are potentially really upset and unable to enjoy something that brought them a lot of happiness! This is a great day for me!”

(I mean, look, I get that schadenfreude is a thing for a reason but this isn’t it. If this is you, fuck off, you’re not some champion of your OTP, you’re a fucking asshole). 

So let’s break this down.

Is SaNa sunk/SanPu canon?

Short answer? No and no...maybe. 

While it’s very clear that Pudding still has feelings for Sanji, I don’t think Sanji returns them. Okay, yes, he’s gone all heart-eyes for her but, well, this is Sanji we’re talking about, of course he did that when a pretty girl kissed him, it’d be like asking Luffy to not stuff his face at a Meat Buffet that’s just not where his character is right now. But let’s take a look at him from a few chapters ago in 896:

Sanji’s pretty ready to part ways with her here. And once Pudding snips out the memory of said kiss:

He’s confused as to why Pudding ran away but he’s not chasing after her and there’s really nothing in the chapter showing him upset over not being with her right now. The only one who’s upset is Pudding.

This can be read a couple of ways - it leaves the door open for SanPu later if she comes back into the fold (more on that in a bit), or this was a bittersweet ending for their story. This, by the way, is one of the things I REALLY want to see the ViZ translation for, because the “song” going through the chapter seems to have multiple interpretations floating around with varying degrees of finality to this situation, which leaves things in even more flux.

Here’s the thing: SanPu hasn’t become canon (which means that, no, SaNa didn’t sink). That doesn’t mean it won’t later on, but at the moment it just isn’t. Sanji doesn’t have feelings for Pudding and doesn’t remember the kiss, nor was his reaction particularly strong. Pudding is distraught right now, sure, but we really don’t know what’s next for her. Is she going to try and leave the island and follow in Lola’s footsteps? Is Big Mom going to try and use her for another wedding plot? Is she going to get on a bus, go to the big city, and try to make it in show business? I don’t know and neither do you. 

“Sanji and Pudding kissed that means they’re married now!”

No it doesn’t.

“But they kissed! They’re man and wife now!”

...no, no they really aren’t. 

A wedding ceremony and a marriage are technically two different things. A wedding is a ceremony, whereas a marriage is a legal contract. Marriage doesn’t actually take place until both parties sign a contract and it’s officiated by someone with the legal authority to do so, usually a religious leader like a priest, a rabbi, or an imam, or a non-religious affiliated justice of the peace.

But that’s the real world and probably not something Oda put thought into for the manga. All right, I’ll give you that, but it still doesn’t matter. Let’s say that in the One Piece world all that matters is the ceremony.

Well, the ceremony was never actually finished and the kiss took place long after the wedding party disbanded. I’m not even sure the priest is still alive. Whether you like it or not or whether you think it helps your ship or not, the alley was not a wedding and no marriage has taken place. 

That being said this feels like something that might come up in an SBS but I’m guessing Oda is going to say “no”. 

Conflicting Ships - Luffy x Nami vs Sanji x Nami vs Sanji

This is one I think we all have feet of clay in regards to, but if your ship relies on the instability of another ship that’s not really a sign you have a lot of confidence in your ship and you can’t enjoy it unless it has at least a CHANCE of becoming canon. This is why I’m skeptical of Sanji x Pudding fans - I really do think a lot of them (not all of them, mind you) are just Luffy x Nami fans eager to get their biggest threat out of the picture without killing him. I’m sure there are plenty of Luffy x Hancock “fans” who want them same thing, except they’re actually Sanji x Nami or Zoro x Nami fans. Guys, that’s probably not a healthy attitude to have when it comes to shipping.

“So you’re trying to say that your reasons for not liking Sanji x Pudding have nothing to do with Sanji x Nami?” What part of “I think we all have feet of clay” did you not understand? Yeah, it’s one of the reasons I’m not big on Sanji x Pudding - I find it difficult to ship characters together if one or more characters in the pairing have a canon partner. I don’t know that I NEED Sanji x Nami to be canon but I’d be pretty sad if a conflicting pairing actually happened, with varying degrees of being okay or angry depending on the execution and characters involved. I mean I’d even be mad if Sanji and Nami happened and it was done really, really badly. 

This is why I think the best case scenario for all parties involved is One Piece ending without any of the big ships becoming canon, probably excluding Usopp x Kaya (which, while it’s KIND OF a forgone conclusion isn’t very heavily shipped) and possibly excluding Robin and Franky (who seem to have moved onto Dorky Middle Aged Married Couple Who Like to Embarrass Their Kids while no one was looking). Why? Because unless one of the pertinent parties is dead, that leaves everyone free to draw whatever conclusion they want.

Like, do you have any idea how much happier the Bleach and Naruto fandoms would be if Kubo and Kishimoto didn’t canonize any pairings? A LOT. Yeah some fans would be salty they didn’t get confirmation, sure, but they’d be free to think whatever they wanted happened after end of series. 

Imagine if One Piece ends with something like Luffy, now the Pirate King, is on the ship with the other Straw Hats (now all having achieved their dreams) and he’s sitting on his special seat and he points to the horizon and he’s like “okay guys let’s go that way and have another adventure!” and everyone else is like “YEAH!” and then they coup de burst into the sunset and the words “The End” appear on that very last page. Luffy and Nami fans are free to think that their king and queen got together. Sanji and Nami fans are free to think the cook will continue to dote on his angel. Sanji and Pudding fans are free to think that Sanji returned to Pudding to marry her for real this time. Etc, etc.

Unfinished Business

That’s another thing about this chapter and this arc as a whole - I can’t think of another arc that has THIS many obvious dangling plot threads that really feel like they should have been answered before the arc ended. Like, yes, there are other arcs that have dangling plot threads but many of those really feel like things that were blatantly meant to come up in future arcs, like the threads from Fishman Island. But for THIS arc? 

- What’s the deal with the Three Eye Tribe and will Pudding’s third eye have its true awakening? - What’s the backstory behind Germa 66 and that story Judge was talking about? - Speaking of Judge, what’s the deal with his eyebrows? - Speaking of Judge AGAIN, what went down between him and Vegapunk? - Why did that one homie recognize Pedro? - Is anything going to happen to all those people/creatures in the prison library? - Why doesn’t Lola realize Big Mom wants her dead? - Why didn’t Pudding ever get an Oda box? Yeah, that NEVER happened but we got them for like, Smoothie’s underlings and those decutuplets. The fuck, Oda? - What went down between Snack and Urogue and how did he escape? - Did Chiffon and Bege get away? - What the fuck happened to Casear Clown? - What’s going to happen when Big Mom finds out about the Tamatebako box?

...and probably more I’m not thinking of. Thing is, that’s a LOT of dangling plot threads for one arc, a lot of which feel like they could or should have been addressed here. Thing is, they probably will be addressed because you may have noticed there’s one big plot thread I didn’t list above:

- Big Mom and Elbaf

I’ve been on this particular bus for a while but it occurs to me a lot of my fellow fans didn’t think that was going to happen or at least didn’t want it to happen. But when you look at everyone that happened between Big Mom and Elbaf and how much of it we’ve seen ON PANEL, it would be REALLY WEIRD for her to not make an appearance on Elbaf. Let’s do another list:

- Murdered one of the two elder giant heroes - ATE Mother Carmel and a bunch of innocent orphans - Hey look a bunch of the giant kids from Big Mom’s flashback are part of Harudin’s crew now I bet that’s important - Whatever the hell happened between Lola and Loki

The only other option I can think of if a return to Fishman Island since, well, we kind of need to go back there at some point (Luffy’s gotta destroy it somehow, remember?) and thanks to the Sun Pirates and Praline I wouldn’t be surprised if she decides to take out some of her anger there. Plus everything with Big Mom actually STARTED back in Fishman Island. That’s the first time Luffy crossed her, it’s where we met some of her people (including Pudding...kind of), and yeah that would probably a believable scenario for the island to be destroyed, I guess.

Oda is Still Drawing Sanji Showing Affection for Nami

Okay, granted, we haven’t seen a Sanji “love cook” moment with Nami since he got back on the ship, but there still is stuff Oda’s drawn very recently that would be REALLY WEIRD if the intention was to make SanPu canon.

If 902 is the start of canon Sanji x Pudding, then this is a REALLY weird thing for Oda to draw, even if it’s not canon. Like, REALLY weird. 

Oda DIDN’T Draw Pudding’s Interior Thoughts When Nami Was Around

So we saw a bunch of Pudding’s thoughts during key scenes during the arc, including some between her and Sanji,

But something that was kind of weirdly absent? Anything involving Nami. Such as the bridal carry, which we saw Pudding react to, and when Sanji returned to the Sunny the first time and freaked out when Nami hugged him.

If Pudding has feelings for Sanji, she should have reacted to these incidents but we don’t know how she reacted to them. That feels intentionally left out. Now, granted, it’s probably Pudding (correctly) assuming that Sanji has feelings for Nami, but I think this was intentionally left alone. 

Why?

Because having Pudding point these things out would strongly hint at Sanji x Nami as end game, which Oda doesn’t want to do at this stage of the game for one of two reasons. Either that isn’t his intention or it’s way to early to show his hand. Both are valid reasons to not do that, by the way.

Are we sure Oda even likes Pudding all that much?

Here’s an SBS question and answer from volume 87.

I’m not sure Oda would say something like that about a character he plans to pair up with one of his main characters. Again, weird choice if that’s the case.

Okay I’m sure I’ll get some responses to this and I’d love to clarify/discuss in the responses and reblogs. But for the moment...

Conclusion

Blech these are never easy to write.

The short answer to this whole thing is that I don’t think Sanji x Nami fans have reason to throw in the towel, nor do I think Sanji x Pudding fans (and by extension Luffy x Nami fans) really have anything to “celebrate”. Right now it feels like an ending, but since a lot of the Big Mom stuff is unresolved the door on Pudding isn’t closed...but I’m not really sure what would be on the other side.

[sonderlybooks]

Daughter of smoke and bone: review

The ‘Daughter of smoke and bone’ trilogy by Laini Taylor has been on my reading list for months now. I didn’t really want to read it because it was a series and I was invested in another series-S.J Maas fans will understand me when I say this. I know It was published in 2011 and I’m kinda late to the fandom but I loved it and wanted to do my first review on this book so bear with me, please. Oh, boy was I wrong for waiting this long to read this book. If you’re like me just go and read it. This book is a mix of mystery and humor with a bit of outworldly creatures. I was sucked into the story from the first page. Apart from the fact that I honestly thought that Kaz was a vampire because I was trying to read between the lines in that scene.

Karou is a 17-year-old orphan who was raised by creature-like beings called chimaera. There is Brimstone, Yasri, Twiga, and Issa, these are the people who raised her. She doesn’t feel like she belongs anywhere because of this. Well if my family was a bunch of creatures that I couldn’t talk about outside of the house I would feel isolated and lonely too. At the start of the story it seems like she is our average teenager -minus the blue hair and constellation of tattoos-, she goes to art school in Prague, has a best friend, and goes to cafes after school like all of us. But as the story unfolds we find out that Brimstone sends her on these missions around the world to collect teeth. She doesn't know what these teeth are being used for but she goes anyways and gets scuppies (penny equivalent of wishes) in return for going on these trips. Who wouldn’t want to learn 20 languages just by wishing on them? she also has permanent blue hair courtesy of the wishes. And let’s not forget that she turned Svetla’s eyebrows into bushy little caterpillars.

How he grants wishes in return for teeth reminded me of the tooth fairy. And I also thought his job was as simple as that and It was kind of like a hobby or something.

Brimstone sends Karou on missions to get the teeth and pay the people with wishes. When she goes to Morocco to meet with Izil. We see that Izil was punished with Razgut-a fallen angel of some sort I don’t know why I’m guessing he tried helping the chimaera. I thought that was a good message that we as humans should not know everything. Sometimes not knowing is bliss and is very underappreciated. Well, when she goes there Akiva-an angel- sees her and actually tries to kill her. I didn’t like Akiva when I first read his description. They way is appearance was written made me irritated I get it he’s an angel but come on. Well, she runs away from Akiva and than stands in front of the passageway and waits for Issa to open it. I loved the way she described how she was scared of being left on the other side of the door there. She is injured and they let her stay with them until she feels better.   

When she goes through the other door and sees Thiago, I thought he was going to be a major character and even her love interest in the book. I don’t know why maybe I missed his description or something. When Brimstone through him out I didn’t really understand him but he did save her and wouldn’t want her to go back there and die. He was being horrible when he left her out in the cold without her shoes, jacket, keys, or any of her belongings. Well, she found a way to get into her apartment didn’t she and It was also cooler than it would have been if she had her keys with her.

We meet the angel-Aziki and get his point of view- and saw that they are burning the portals to Brimstone’s shop. I didn’t really believe it when Aziki said: “The end would begin with fire”. I thought he was just trying to be dramatic or something. After a few days laying in her bed, Kishmish brings Karou Brimstone’s wishbone and a note before dying. I really want to know what was in that note. Were they saying their last goodbyes to her in that note? I didn’t feel any sadness when Kishmish died, I wasn’t attached to his character all that much.

I loved the fact that Zuzana was getting ready to leave when Karou tells her everything and then a creature falls died on her balcony. She recognized who Kishmish was from her drawings and then decided to believe her, who wouldn’t want a friend like that. I really hope somehow I see her in the next book.I know she’s a human, but maybe she isn’t? I don’t know, we all dream don’t we?

Akiva watching Karou sleep from the window brought me back to not so pleasant Twilight memories. I don’t know if any of you felt like that?

When Akiva and Karou meet again she flies in front of everyone, that is irresponsible. Everyone thinks they're doing a stunt and Kaz takes on the fame for it. After that Karou takes Akiva to places she goes and even Zuzana meets with him. That scene was really entertaining.

When Akiva sees the wishbone on Karou he understands why he can’t stay away from her. And then we meet his siblings. I liked Hazael but didn’t really like Liraz. I didn't really like the way she acted towards Karou. But I would like to see her point of view and why she was like that more. When Akiva and Karou meet at in the cafe that they first saw each other the way she reacted to him felt wrong. I know that they knew each other at a different time but she forgets about her family and what he did at that moment.

But here comes the climax of the story, the moment where Akiva and Karou break the wishbone. Her other life comes back to Karou. She learns that she is Madrigal Kirin and chimaera like her family. She also has wings-who would have guessed with all of the wings and foreshadowing.  I loved the way Laini Taylor eased us in with flashbacks. However, I felt like Karou and Madrigal were two completely different people. Karou gave me more of a teenager vibe and I related to her more, whilst I got more adult vibes from Madrigal. I don’t know if that was the point. And I also would have liked it if Madrigal was just some other girl Akiva knew and loved in the past.

I loved how she rescued him from death and he searched for her all those months and didn’t give up on finding her. Their dance scene was so sweet. But I couldn’t really understand how he could find her with a mask on did he sense her? Or why Thiago left Madrigal alone for half of the time.I was disappointed when Chiro was the one to betray on Madrigal. I can understand why Chiro was mad when Madrigal didn’t use human teeth for her.

The saddest part of the book for me was when Karou asked Brimstone if he was disappointed in her for falling in love with the enemy and he said that he wasn’t. The biggest question that I had was how long did she stay in Chiro’s body? Did Brimstone ask Chiro to come to his shop to take Madrigal back?

Up until this point, I thought that Akiva was wrong and that Karou was not going to get mad. But then he said that Brimstone and the others were dead and even I was mad. I don’t think they are dead. I hope that they aren’t dead and we see them again in the next book.

The last chapter felt rushed a bit rushed to me. I understood why Karou decided to go without Akiva, but I still hope he follows her there. And at least tries to make it up to her.

Overall, I enjoyed the book a lot as you can see from my rambling. It was better than I expected. I’m excited to read the next book and I will probably read and review it pretty soon. Hurray for the ones that get on the fandom train late. The only problem I had was the vibe difference I felt between Madrigal and Karou. Other than that I would give this book a 5 star and recommend it to everyone.

[shadowsong26fic]

Hurray for AU Outlines!

All right, so I got a request to do #11a from my List of Things I’ll Never Write as an outline, soooo here goes!

Note that, due to the fact that the only people who are bigger Drama Queens than the PT Trio in life are the PT Trio having died and been sent back to have a second chance to Make Things Right, this skews a little bit towards the Melodrama and Feels area, rather than straight Funny like some of the others have been.

(Also, as a trigger/content warning, there’s some bits that could be read as passive suicidal ideation).

Previous outlines can be found in the tag.

The actual prompt:

11. Both Anakin And Padme Unfuck The Timeline And Are Bound And Determined Not To Let The Other One Know They’re From The Future

11a. The Same Thing Only Obi-Wan’s Also Time-Travelling

(For those of you who read It’s Like Déjà Vu (All Over Again) [which was prompt #11 above] last summer, portions of this might be familiar.)

So, we start with Anakin. Anakin gets to have his heartwarming death scene, his final moments with his son, a brief and hazy Moment with Obi-Wan and Yoda on Endor…

And then he blinks. And…he’s not a ghost anymore.

He’s standing in the Jedi Council chamber

(which is a whole lot bigger than he remembers; when did that happen?)

“I will train him. I take Anakin as my Padawan Learner.”

…did he seriously just say that? Wow, no wonder Obi-Wan resented me at first.

…wait a minute.

At first, he thinks it’s just—not exactly a dream, per se. But that old saying, about how your life flashes before your eyes when you die?

(this is a bit late for that, though; because he definitely remembers standing with the others on Endor and watching Luke)

(also this is a weird place to start)

(not to mention unfair)

(if he has to relive it all, couldn’t he at least have seen his mom again?)

Still, it’s the best explanation he’s got, so he decides to run with it.

The next couple of days are—very strange

(Obi-Wan and—everyone is so young. He’d forgotten how young they all were, back then.)

Parts of it he remembers clearly, but most of it is fairly vague, or like—a list of facts. This thing happened, then this, then this.

(He overhears Obi-Wan saying he’s dangerous. Why did you forget that, old friend? he wants to ask.)

(Just because he came back, after all, doesn’t change  what he did. If Obi-Wan had killed him properly on Mustafar, or stuck to his guns back here and not spoken up for him—well, maybe not that second; maybe that just would have given the Emperor more access to him.)

(But, on the other hand, had he not been in the Order, in the position he’d been in…)

(Not that it really matters at this point, after all. He’s just an observer, reviewing bits and pieces of his life.)

(Right?)

All of that changes when they get to the hangar.

He climbs into the fighter cockpit, just like last time.

(Artoo is behind him, a comforting, familiar feeling.)

And then, three and a half decades of training and self-discipline go up against a nine-year-old’s inherent attention span and patience.

And lose. Badly.

(Look, he’s never been good at sitting still, okay? And a part of him is nine years old again, which just makes that even worse.)

He turns on the starfighter early, since he’s not just pushing buttons at random, and fidgets a little, waiting for the destroyers to show up so he can shoot them and then “accidentally” turn on the autopilot and head off into space.

(It really was an accident the first time. Which was then his first taste of real flying—of combat, too—and one of the things he’s actually genuinely looking forward to reliving.)

Then Maul shows up.

(A not-insignificant part of him appreciates the sheer Drama of his entrance, lbr.)

(the part of him that reacts like the forty-something soldier/Drama Queen and not a slightly overwhelmed nine-year-old.)

On a whim, he activates the fighter’s guns and fires off a shot.

He doesn’t expect it to work.

(This is all a dream, right? Just reliving things because the Force thinks I need to be punished, right?)

Except—it does.

what.

It doesn’t kill Maul, of course. But it does throw him off his game, and damage his saberstaff.

Suddenly, advantage: Jedi.

For a long moment, Anakin is frozen. What the hell. I can change things? THIS IS REAL?!!!

He shakes it off after a second—locks down the panic/reaction, drawing on those three and a half decades of training and self-discipline.

He has a battle to win. He can think about the rest of this later.

When he makes it back down to the surface (after a much smoother/neater destruction of the control ship, tyvm), things are—well, part of it went the same and part of it…

Qui-Gon survived. That’s a big one.

Obi-Wan did kill Maul again.

(possibly properly this time; we’ll see)

The next few weeks are…kind of a blur, honestly.

Look, it’s a lot to process. Above and beyond the whole time travel is real and I can change the past and omg I can see all the people I loved again and omg the people I loved will see me again I’m fucked etc. etc., a nine-year-old’s brain really isn’t built to process forty-some-odd years’ worth of memories. Most of them pretty horrific.

In the end, it turns out his memories are…not vague exactly, except kind of they are. He doesn’t remember a whole lot of detail. A few moments, of course, stand out, but for the most part, it’s just the broad strokes.

Which is not to say that he doesn’t remember the details, just that he can’t consciously recall them. He basically has to enter a deep trance to dredge up any specifics.

When the dust settles, he was accepted into the Order—but apprenticed to Qui-Gon this time.

Probably for the best, he thinks. I didn’t know him the first time around, after all.

He decides, for many, many reasons, to conceal his knowledge of the future and especially how he got it.

And now, he just has to decide—what to do with his knowledge.

His first instinct, naturally, is to run off and stab Palpatine in the face.

Of course, there are a couple problems with this. First of all, he is tiny and ineffectual. He would attempt and fail and just get himself killed.

(This, incidentally, is why Anakin has to land this early because lbr without a damn good reason holding him back, he would just go murder Palpatine in the face.)

(Being Tiny and Ineffectual is pretty much what’s gonna do it.)

(And while a part of me is delighted by the mental image of nine-year-old Anakin murdering Palpatine in the face, it makes for a very short story and does not fit the prompt sooooo.)

And second of all (though this doesn’t occur to him until after he tries climbing out the Temple window and stops himself because Tiny and Ineffectual), remember the above bit about vague memories?

….yeah, murdering Palpatine in the face without knowing the full context (…assuming he even knew about it/cared to know about it in the first place) could have serious consequences.

Like…quite a bit of the Master Plan is already in motion.

The clones are already in production, almost certainly.

Dooku may already be Tyranus, who the heck knows.

Palpatine didn’t create the problems that led to the Separatist movement and the War (or if he did it was much earlier than this), he just exacerbated them.

So, without Palps imposing some measure of control over the chaos…

Chance are, he’d just unleash a different kind of hell. Maybe it would be better, maybe it would be worse.

But he really doesn’t want to take that chance.

He was given this opportunity to set things right. He’s not about to waste it by just breaking the world again a whole new way.

He decides (though he knows it will be Extremely Difficult), to keep his head down and try to figure out exactly what the context is, put things in place to unravel the preliminaries as best he can, and then murder Palpatine in the face.

Of course, Anakin has never been very good at playing the long game.

(Even as Vader)

And he learns, pretty quickly, that Qui-Gon…has many talents, and is a very good Master for him in many ways but…yeah, not so much that.

(Qui-Gon may, in fact, be worse at long-range planning than he is. He never thought he’d see the day…)

So, after a year or two, he gives in and admits he needs additional help. And there’s really only one person he can turn to.

The problem is, Obi-Wan has been…not very much at the Temple since Anakin arrived. And when he is, he tends to avoid Anakin and Qui-Gon as much as he can.

But they were friends before—while they were alive, and then again, after Luke saved him and they found each other in the Force again.

Anakin is sure that, if he just has the opportunity to talk to Obi-Wan, they will be again…

Of course, before Anakin can approach Obi-Wan, guess whose turn it is now to land in the past!

Obi-Wan wakes up in the middle of a mission, about a year and a half after Anakin got back.

He realizes he’s time-travelled pretty quickly. He sort of vaguely remembers this mission? It was one of the ones he went on just after being Knighted, when Anakin was still too young and inexperienced to accompany him.

(Not a very memorable mission, though. The Force is being kind; he’s going to get enough shocks to the system over the next few days.)

So, once he processes that, he’s pretty happy about it. He can change the past! Fix things! Save Anakin! Not lose EVERYONE all over again!

(well, all right, he’s too late to save Qui-Gon but still)

It’ll take some doing, of course; to unravel everything Palpatine’s already put in place. Make sure he ties up all the loose ends.

(it might well take him the full ten/twelve years he has, even; he’ll need to find actual evidence of what he knows, probably, and explain how he got there some credible way, in order to actually get this right.)

But first…

But first, he gets to see his brother again. And, yes, they found each other in the Force, and everything was all right in the end, but…but this is a second chance.

He’s very much looking forward to it.

So, he wraps up his mission and sends a preliminary report back to the Temple, and then thinks—I’m not too far from the Arkanis sector.

That’s a problem we really don’t need eight years from now.

Besides, from everything he’s heard of her, Shmi Skywalker deserved so much better.

He gets to Mos Espa, and tracks down Watto (he never saw me before, I can do this discreetly and not have to deal with the Council asking Questions I haven’t yet decided how to answer) and finds out—

“The Jedi came through and bought her from me over a year ago.”

And there’s a sort of…brain-glitch moment there, where two conflicting sets of memories over the past two years try to integrate.

At which point he’s absolutely positive that someone else is time-travelling, and he figures it’s either Yoda, Anakin, or Qui-Gon himself. He won’t know for 100% sure, though, not until they actually meet.

I have to get back to the Temple now.

He makes his excuses to Watto, grumbling rather convincingly, he hopes, and disappears off into the sunset, back to his ship and Coruscant.

He gets to the Temple hangar, and Anakin is actually there, waiting for him. And he knows.

Anakin’s eyes go huge, and his shields slam down. He’s clearly unsure exactly how to proceed. He had this All Figured Out, and suddenly he’s dealing with his Obi-Wan, the one he loved and lost and found again, instead of the one from this timeline, and…and…

Obi-Wan nudges his shields a little, and offers a very brief smile—it’s okay, we did find each other again, you came back.

Anakin brightens and tries to hide it.

(badly, as always)

But they’re still in the Temple hangar at the moment, and Anakin is probably Supposed To Be Elsewhere right now.

“Meet me on the roof tonight,” he murmurs as he passes.

Anakin nods, then scampers off to whatever he’s supposed to be doing.

(Obi-Wan decides it’s probably better to approach Qui-Gon after he and Anakin have talked properly. But that’s his next step.)

Anakin’s very Nervous again when he gets up to the roof that night. He’s had all day to fret about it, after all.

But as soon as Obi-Wan gets up there—a couple minutes after Anakin does—he immediately hugs his little brother.

Anakin clings tighter than he remembered knowing how to.

And for a very long moment, they just stand there, clinging to one another, on the Temple roof.

(they don’t speak)

(at this point, they don’t need words)

And then they start talking—Anakin reveals how long he’s been here, and admits that he’s a little lost how to proceed.

“My memories aren’t totally reliable,” he says. “I think my brain was too small when I landed. And you’d think it would get easier as I physically matured, but…”

“Maybe in a few more years,” Obi-Wan suggests.

“Maybe.”

Obi-Wan agrees with Anakin that they shouldn’t just go for Palpatine right away.

(for one thing, if they don’t have any actual evidence, that risks pitting the Senate and the Jedi against one another which would…would not end well.)

So, they decide that Obi-Wan will try to research, find actual evidence that leads them to Kamino and Geonosis. Because “I had a vision” might satisfy the Council (“we came from the future” is slightly less likely, but still within the realms of possibility), but even if they manage to cultivate allies in the Senate, they will never convince that august body of Palpatine’s evil with that alone.

“With any luck, this won’t take too long. I know more or less what I’m looking for, and I have a little more freedom to maneuver.”

“Because you don’t have a small child tagging along this time?” Anakin suggests dryly.

“Partly, yes,” Obi-Wan says, with a smile. “The point is, I’m sure I’ll find something that leads me to Kamino, and we’ll go from there.”

“Without letting him know we’re on to him.”

“Ideally, yes.”

Anakin, they decide, will try to figure out how to deal with the chips. Just in case.

“It might take some time,” he warns. “The interface between the organic and the machine parts is where I always had trouble. Even with the…the suit, later.”

Obi-Wan nods. “But we have eight years,” he says. “Surely, between the two of us, we’ll pull this off.”

“Hey, we’ve pulled off wins against worse odds before,” Anakin agrees, with a very familiar spark in his eyes.

(Obi-Wan’s heart soars a little at the sight.)

For two years, everything goes reasonably well. They make progress, Obi-Wan foils a few schemes (so do Anakin and Qui-Gon).

(Obi-Wan also patches things up with his old Master)

The three of them are a family. They’re actually happy.

But there is a Problem on the horizon.

Palpatine hasn’t quite figured out that Obi-Wan and Anakin are on to him. Obi-Wan is too careful for that, too used to being undergound, and Anakin doesn’t have the access to really make an impact.

But Qui-Gon—Qui-Gon hasn’t been allowing Palpatine the access he wants.

Naturally, the solution to this problem is to arrange his murder.

Neither of the boys takes Qui-Gon’s death well.

For Obi-Wan—well, it’s like Maul all over again; better in some ways because he had more time with his Master; worse in others because just when they reconnected he lost him again.

For Anakin—oh, the guilt. Beside which, he had actually bonded with Qui-Gon this time around, so…the guilt and the grief and everything in him wants to lash out.

(that’s what he does when he’s grieving, after all)

(he lashes out)

(and the worst of it is—the worst of it is, he knows exactly why this happened)

(and it’s all his fault)

(Qui-Gon was killed because of him.)

Obi-Wan figures out this is going down (or at least the first part of it) which is what pulls him out of his own grief spiral and goes to calm him down.

And Anakin starts to withdraw because—because how can he face Obi-Wan, after this—

“Don’t—don’t—don’t shut me out, Anakin, please—”

And that’s all it takes and they both basically break down and cling again, just like on the Temple roof two years before, only…only…

A few days later, they have a strangely familiar conversation at a too-familiar funeral, and Obi-Wan takes over Anakin’s training.

The two of them fall into old patterns—or, well, something very, very close to them. Since they’re not willing to read the Council in on things, they’re also running regular missions along the side. But they continue to interfere with Palpatine’s plans whenever they detect them, and keep looking for the full web so they can safely remove the spider at its heart.

 Palpatine, of course, has backup plans for his backup plans, so he can always course-correct. On the other hand, frustratingly, he doesn’t have any more access to the boy than he did with Jinn involved, and cannot risk another murder.

So, he keeps trying to gain access, and keeps adjusting his overall plans as necessary.

Some ground is gained, but some is lost. Their slow underground solitary war does show some progress, if glacial. And the day to day missions take up enough of their time and focus that, while they are making strides in the longer game, years pass before they even realize it.

And then, Anakin and Obi-Wan are at last sent to mediate a border dispute on Ansion.

They are once again arguing about Anakin’s Trials, just like the first time around.

But this time, they’re taking the opposite sides.

“No, Master, I’m not ready, I need a restraining bolt, I can’t do this.”

(remember what I almost did after he died, Master? You pulled me back. I need you there to pull me back.)

“Anakin, you are clearly ready, I don’t think you do at this point, and the Council is starting to Drop Hints at me about holding you back.”

“No. No, no, no, I can’t do this.”

Obi-Wan sighs and drops the subject for now.

Anyway. Ansion. Anakin seems uneasy, on edge.

“I don’t know. I feel like this mission is Significant somehow, but I can’t place it.”

(karking unreliable memories)

Obi-Wan doesn’t really recall it, either.

“It’ll come to one of us if it really is that important.”

They complete their mission, and then, on the way back to Coruscant—

“Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, I figured it out.”

“What?”

“Why this mission is so important.”

“Yes?”

“It’s the last one. Before—before Kamino. And First Geonosis. And…Varykino.”

“Oh. …oh.”

Obi-Wan tries to figure out a solution—had things really gone that far already? Where did the time go we’re not ready yet—and the best he can come up with is trying to switch places; perhaps using Anakin’s Trials as an excuse to send him to Kamino, while Obi-Wan guards the Senator.

“If the Council goes for it, I’ll do it,” Anakin says.

But first, they have to deal with the initial half of the mission—seeing Padme again; meeting the bounty hunter, finding, at least, a genuine breadcrumb that will take them to Kamino.

AND NOW, at long last, GUESS WHOSE TURN IT IS TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME!

Padme wakes up on the approach to Coruscant.

Like Obi-Wan (and unlike Anakin), she figures out she’s time-traveled pretty quickly.

(she mucks around with the landing gear, and is able to do just enough to save Corde’s life, even if she can’t totally prevent the explosion)

And that just confirms it—she’s in the past, this is real, she can change things. She can save the Republic. Save Anakin.

(even if she was wrong when she died, and she doesn’t think she is, she knows there’s still good in him now. She can save him, here and now. She is not going to lose him again.)

Speaking with Palpatine himself again is—not easy. Mostly because she is nearly overcome with the desire to rip his karking face off.

(she focuses on the mental image of Corde in the medcenter instead, because she’s angry about that, too)

(it seems to work; his slimy, false sympathy is exactly as it was the last time)

(This, incidentally, is why Padme has to land so late. The same reason, basically, why Anakin had to land so early—without a damn good reason, she would just haul off and murder Palpatine in the face.)

(And she’s smart enough to know that she has to wait until she takes steps to counteract the inevitable power vacuum, especially with Dooku still out there.)

(But if she landed before he was this entrenched….?)

(Yeah. Murder. All of the murder. Right in the face.)

But then—after suffering through her audience with Palpatine—then she gets to see Obi-Wan and Anakin again.

And there’s a moment of—the last time she saw him, he did go mad and try to murder her. What if she reacts to that, instead of the person he is in the here and now?

(…I will cross that bridge if I come to it, she decides.)

Of course, when she sees him again—

This is her Anakin. Not the one she lost on Mustafar, the one she found at Varykino.

(well, not quite; maybe a little later; a year or two into the War, after he had Ahsoka, before things got too bleak and never-ending; when he was a little bit scarred, a little bit shadowed, but still the golden boy she loved.)

Anakin is just as much of A Mess as he was the first time around.

(if not more)

(Obi-Wan would very much like to bang his head against the wall but he is A Professional, so instead he steps on Anakin’s foot and takes control of the conversation)

(he’s also extremely—if decorously—happy to see Padme alive again like this)

Padme does not actually sleep that night; she remembers those creepy worm things and she knows they’re coming this time.

(“maybe one of us should hang out on the roof, pounce on the droid before it cuts through the window,” Anakin says, “and by one of us I mean me can I please go dive off a roof onto a droid?”)

(“fine, as long as you don’t mock my driving when I pick you up. And we are not taking your shortcut again.”)

(“you never let me have any fun.”)

(“I’m letting you jump off the roof!”)

(Padme watches Anakin fall past the window a few hours later, crashing into the droid and disappearing from view)

(...that’s...different...)

But, long story short, they get their dart breadcrumb. As promised, Obi-Wan speaks to the Council, but they refuse to switch the assignments from what they see as the logical one.

(Anakin is kind of torn between terror and elation and Angst)

(“everything will be fine,” Obi-Wan promises him)

Padme is mostly pleased. She’s still pissed that she has to miss the Military Creation Act vote, but, on the other hand, cementing her relationship with Anakin is almost as important in the long run.

(especially since the War, at this point, is inevitable)

(at some point, while they’re getting ready to go, Anakin mentions Qui-Gon to her; and she has the same sort of brief brain-lag memory-integration Moment Obi-Wan did on Tatooine eight years before)

(Anakin panics for a second “what did I do wrong this time DDDDDDD:”)

(but she does recenter, and figures—well, this isn’t all that much more weird than the concept of time travel in and of itself; question is, does this make her job easier or harder…)

(one thing she is absolutely sure of, though, is that Anakin can never know what she’s seen. It would break him, and she will not let that happen. She’s going to get it right this time. She’s going to save him.)

The two of them continue on to Varykino, and Padme notices more strange things that don’t quite add up.

Anakin is—shy. Definitely interested in her; just as transparent as the last time, but every time they start to get close, to touch, to kiss—he pulls back as if he was burned.

And what follows is, essentially, a role-reversal of their canon courtship.

(complete with Melodrama by the fireside, where Anakin tells her they Can’t Be Together and then flees the scene and Padme promptly bursts into tears because, to her, it feels like her husband of three years just left her, nevermind that he isn’t her husband yet, and…)

(“It would destroy us,” he says; knowing how it would.)

(“I look at you, and I can’t breathe,” he says; hearing the echo of the monster that still lives inside him.)

(“I am here to protect you,” he says; meaning so much more than she can possibly understand.)

(because, whatever else happens, she can never know what he’s done. It would destroy her. And he cannot let that happen. He’s going to get it right this time. He’s going to save her.)

So they spend the next few days Pining. There is so much pining going on, guys.

(lightyears away, Obi-Wan is very glad he’s lightyears away from all of this.)

Obi-Wan’s thread is basically a much smoother, more deliberate progression of his canon plotline.

 Again, he needs actual Evidence that will be acceptable to the Senate, not just the Council.

Of course, when he gets to Geonosis, he has absolutely no intention of getting arrested again. He could do without reliving that particular adventure, thank you very much.

So he picks somewhere less exposed to send his message summoning reinforcements.

(and still gets spotted and captured, because the universe likes to mock his pain)

Anakin facepalms a little, but—well, he needed an excuse to go to Geonosis.

If I can get this part right this time, if I can kill Dooku right from the start—I can’t think of a better way to hamper the Emperor’s plans.

Padme promptly announces she’s going to rescue Obi-Wan, just like she did the first time.

Anakin tries to talk her out of coming along.

(It is very, very difficult, he now remembers, to talk Padme out of anything. Especially where Righting Wrongs and Triumphing Over Evil and Saving People is concerned.)

(he loves her so much when she gets that look in her eyes; a part of him is dying a little but he follows her; he will always, always follow her)

Anakin smiles that little crooked smile of his, the one that means explosions and death-defying recklessness and somehow saving the day nonetheless.

(she loves that smile; almost as much as she loves the full, bright, soft one that’s just for her; a part of her is dying inside, knowing that she might never actually see it again, but she stands at his side; she will always, always stand at his side)

They work their way through the factory, doing a little bit better than the first time, since they know their way around.

But, because they are still Reckless and Unsubtle, they get caught.

As they’re being brought into the arena, just like before, Padme tries one last desperate confession.

(she’d hoped it wouldn’t take a mutual near-death experience like it did for her, but it’s worth a shot)

(and he knows he shouldn’t—not until after Palpatine is dead and his mission is complete—but…but she loves him. She said so.)

(and he kisses her, once, before they’re wheeled into the arena.)

The next bit goes…eh, more or less as it does in canon.

Until they catch up to Dooku in that cave.

…well, okay, for a few minutes longer. Anakin, overconfident and riding the most glorious high of his life, still rushes in heedlessly.

He manages to catch the lightning, but he’s lost vital ground, and he’d—forgotten how skilled Dooku was.

(in his defense, he had defeated him legitimately before murdering him last time!)

Eventually, he sees an opening—the opening—for a clean kill.

But he’s at a bad angle, and Dooku is too focused…

(Obi-Wan will figure it out, he reasons, in the split second he notices it, and steps forward to make a sacrifice)

Dooku misses the fork, takes the bait, makes for the opening Anakin has given him—and strikes true.

But leaves himself open to Obi-Wan who does not hesitate to take his shot.

So, here is what has and hasn’t changed—Anakin still loses his right arm; but Dooku dies at First Geonosis.

Obi-Wan deactivates his saber and steps over Dooku’s body, running to Anakin.

“I’d forgotten,” Anakin mumbles, “how much that hurt…”

“You didn’t have to do that, my friend,” Obi-Wan says, trying to push soothing, comforting pulses along their bond as they wait for help to arrive.

Anakin shakes his head. “Needed t’distract him. So you could get him and he wouldn’t get away this time.”

Obi-Wan sighs.

Padme bursts in a moment later.

“Ani!”

Obi-Wan shifts to allow her room; lets her cling to Anakin’s remaining hand.

(he is, of course, completely unsurprised by this turn of events)

Later, when Padme and Anakin get back from Naboo, they confess to Obi-Wan almost immediately.

“I thought,” Obi-Wan says, when he and Anakin are speaking privately afterwards, “that you were going to try to—that you were going to wait until Palpatine was dead. Just to be safe.”

“I know. But…but it’s really, really hard to…I couldn’t say no to her, Master,” Anakin says. “She…I’d forgotten how much she…I’d forgotten.” And then he smiles, softly.

“Don’t misunderstand,” he says. “I don’t disapprove. I just—you…you are aware I knew from the beginning last time, right?”

“I—wait, what?”

“You two,” Obi-Wan says, patiently, “are not remotely subtle.”

“…you never said anything…”

“You made each other happy,” he says. “Besides, I was hoping you would come to me, eventually.”

“I should have,” Anakin says.

Obi-Wan doesn’t disagree. “Just…don’t shut me out this time, all right? Whatever happens, we’ll get through it together. But I can’t help you if you don’t let me.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“And—are you sure this is how you want to proceed?” Obi-Wan says.

Anakin thinks for a minute then nods. “She loves me. And I love her. And she asked me and I couldn’t…yes, this is how I want to proceed.” He pauses, laughs a little. “And I never could say no to her, anyway. Not until I was too far gone to listen to anyone. So, if I’m still listening to her, if I still can’t say no to her, I’m doing all right. Right?”

Obi-Wan is Very Very Tired right now. And wants to bang his head against the wall.

(it’s the same problem they’ve been running into with his Trials, all over again)

He chooses not to answer that just now. Instead, he says, “all right, but you have to tell her.”

Anakin’s face drops. “I can’t,” he says. “It would only hurt her.”

“Someday, the truth will come out,” he says. “And the longer you wait, the worse it will be.”

“I can’t,” he says. “What good would it do, to tell her about a horrible future that will not happen?”

“I won’t make you,” Obi-Wan says, after a moment. “But keeping this from her is a mistake. I genuinely believe that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Anakin says, reluctantly, but has no intention of changing his mind.

And so, the War.

Anakin does have the chips sorted, mostly, and he and Obi-Wan start very carefully working through the 212th and 501st, with the intention of moving on to the rest of the army as soon as they can.

They also have the Actual War to fight, which takes up a lot of time and energy. Even with Dooku dead, the Separatists have enough steam to keep this up for at least a year or so.

Padme is carefully, carefully manipulating events so Bail or Mon (Bail is a little more experienced, but Mon, not being Chandrilla’s ruler’s consort, will have an easier time transitioning from representing her home planet to overseeing the whole galaxy) will be able to take power after Palpatine is removed.

And spending as much time with Anakin as possible.

(He doesn’t really object to this. He’s enjoying this all while it lasts.)

Obi-Wan and Anakin talk, early on, about whether or not to request Ahsoka—eventually settle on yes, because she’s good for them. They all work so well together.

(besides, Anakin is almost entirely happy for this brief moment; this was the best year of his life the first time around, and he has the opportunity to have his family back together and…)

(Obi-Wan doesn’t disagree.)

Ahsoka, of course, has no idea of all of this going on under the surface, but she bonds with her Masters and with Rex and with Padme (who is so happy to see her again she has trouble hiding it)…she’s so relieved that her being assigned to Master Skywalker has worked out so well for everyone involved.

But eventually, things must come to a head. And, after a year, Anakin gets a little nudge.

(It’s time.)

This is—oh, we’ll call it during the Tiny Angry Boba Fett arc.

(this was not one of the missions Anakin remembered with any clarity, incidentally.)

(it was somewhat disconcerting to see tiny Fett, though.)

(having on a Very Significant Occasion worked with the full-sized version…)

Obi-Wan is in the field doing…I honestly can’t recall what he was doing, but it might be different in this timeline anyway. Point is, he’s off fighting.

Ahsoka, of course, is off with Plo, Investigating.

Anakin is stuck at the Temple recovering from his injuries.

(with Mace Windu right there)

(as some of you may be aware, I am very fond of inversions and role-reversals and parallels…see also the Rabbit Hole AU; and there’s a future Precipice plot thread that you can probably guess, given that…)

(they’re still not friends; they probably never will be; but they work together at least as well as they did the first time around)

(maybe a little better, even, because Anakin understands him, somewhat)

And Anakin gets that little nudge and, while Mace is asleep or meditating or something, sneaks out. He goes, at long last, to confront Palpatine.

Palpatine is slightly surprised, but not at all displeased, to hear that General Skywalker has requested to meet with him.

(he’s made little drips of contact through the years, but never quite enough to catch on, fortunately)

(at last, he thinks, the seeds he planted are bearing fruit!)

And then Anakin gets into the office.

(and turns on a recording device he’s built into his arm)

(he’s not quite sure why that’s so important to him to install it, but it is)·

(some deep-buried part of him remembers everything that led to Ahsoka’s trial and is covering ALL HIS BASES)

And then he drops his shields.

Palpatine pauses for a split second, calculating his best response.

Option one: kill Skywalker here, find a way to explain it—ah, yes; an assassin, the young Jedi heroically saved his life, unfortunately sacrificing himself in the process. This is the safest option; Skywalker knows far too much, after all. Best to dispatch the threat quickly.

Option two: subdue Skywalker and take some time to learn how the hell he got this much knowledge of the future. This idea is not without risk—harder to explain away, for one thing—but given how several of his schemes have quietly unraveled over the past few years, it might be a bigger threat to remove his only potential source of information. There may be others who have this knowledge, after all.

He settles on Option Two.

Just as Anakin had hoped, Palpatine begins to stall, drawing out the conversation, looking for an opportunity to subdue him nonfatally.

Keep him talking, Anakin thinks. Long enough to say something truly incriminating, and help Padme and Obi-Wan with the aftermath.

(but just for the two of them; he’s pretty sure he’s not walking out of this confrontation alive.)

(he was already injured, after all, and while he’s mostly healed, it’s a profound disadvantage in a fight like this)

(and he’s made his peace with that)

(he’s not really built for peacetime, after all)

(nor does he deserve it, really)

(he just…he wishes it hadn’t come so soon.)

(it’s too early; Luke and Leia won’t exist now, and that’s—that’s something he really, really wants to happen; but…he trusts the Force to tell him when the time is right, and the time is right to end Palpatine now; he cannot risk failing by delaying)

(so he regrets, a little, but he has faith in Padme and Obi-Wan, absolute faith, that they will see this through, after he does his part.)

Palpatine notices the instant Anakin’s tactics change; realizes there must be a recording device somewhere; how could this happen, how could this notoriously unsubtle child get that past me? His arm. It must be in his arm; I need to make sure it’s destroyed when I kill him—

He lashes out; lightning, of course—but not quite quickly enough to stop Anakin running him through.

Anakin staggers a little, fighting to stay conscious as the lightning burns through him, his arm sparking madly (but the part of him that planned for this planned for that too; the recorder is safe); and Palpatine—Palpatine has one last trick up his sleeve.

He has a knife in his boot, a last-ditch self-defense weapon; dipped in poison because he never does anything halfway. He buries it in Anakin’s side, using his last moments to make sure he takes Skywalker with him.

MEANWHILE, back at the Temple

Mace wakes up, and immediately notices Anakin is gone.

He gets up, snags a passing Healer, brushes aside her remonstrances.

“Was Skywalker discharged?”

“What? No, of course not, why--?”

Mace doesn’t bother answering. Just pushes past her and bolts after Skywalker.

He gets to Palpatine’s office in time to see the lightning and both stabbings.

And, despite the concussion, as he is in a much clearer/steadier frame of mind than Anakin was the first time around, Mace is able to evaluate the situation more or less accurately, and does not draw on Anakin.

Instead, he asks, “….Skywalker, what the hell is going on here?”

Okay, he can clearly see that Palpatine was the Sith Lord—which is going to take a hell of a lot of explaining what the hell—but how Skywalker knew—

“That’s…a very long story, Master.” He detaches his prosthetic, and passes it over. “Evidence. I recorded everything.”

Mace stares at Anakin. Stares at the prosthetic. Stares at Palpatine’s smoldering body.

(his half-healed concussion-induced headache is getting worse by the millisecond)

He finds the recording, skims through it—

“…all right. I’m going to get the guards to secure the scene,” he says. Then, eyeing Anakin, “also a medic. Stay put, Skywalker.”

“Sure,” Anakin says, and closes his eyes.

Mace turns off the recording and heads off, holding on to the arm.

And Anakin—Anakin is really feeling the poison burning through him now. He yanks the knife out—he tries to purge the toxin, but he’s not strong enough; not after the lightning; not while he’s bleeding like this.

Padme, he thinks. I can’t—I can’t see Obi-Wan, I can’t see Ahsoka, I can’t see everyone I love to say...but I have to…I have to…

(Obi-Wan, of course, is already on his way back to Corucsant. He has a Very Bad Feeling right about now, and picks up the pace, flying with a recklessness that Anakin might appreciate, if he were here)

He drags himself to his feet, wraps his cloak tightly around himself and hopes it will hide the blood, before sneaking off.

He manages to get to Padme’s apartment without passing out; rings the buzzer.

She comes to the door. “Ani!” She blinks, then stiffens, alarmed. “What…what happened to your arm?”

“S’all right,” he says. “S’evidence. I need…I need…”

She takes his hand and pulls him over to the couch. “Evidence? What do--are you all right? You don’t…you don’t look well. I thought you were stuck in the Temple? Ahsoka said something about an explosion…” She presses a hand to his cheek, checking for fever; but he feels cool to her touch.

“I was,” he says, then takes an unsteady breath. “I need…there’s some…some things I need to tell you; Obi-Wan kept saying I should, for months, but I…I couldn’t…please, just…just let me finish, before you say anything?”

And he turns such haunted, weary eyes to her that even if she wanted to, she couldn’t say no.

“Of course,” she says. “You can tell me anything, you know that.”

He nods; his breath is coming a little short now, and her face is starting to blur in front of him. “I…I just assassinated the Chancellor.”

That was—that was not at all what she’d been expecting to hear. “What?” she whispers.

“He—he was evil, Padme, or I wouldn’t have—you have to believe I wouldn’t have—the…the…the proof, there’ll be proof soon. And I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t…” He blinks. “The reason I knew is because…because I…in another life, I…I helped him to…to destroy it. Everything. We…we burned it all to the ground, but I got…I got another chance, I got sent back and I…I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, I did such…such terrible things, and…” He stops, trying to catch his breath. “I’ll go. I’ll—”

She catches him before he can rise. “I know,” she says. “I know, I…”

He stares at her. “…what…?”

“I got sent back, too.” She kisses him, gently. “And I couldn’t…I didn’t want to hurt you, I didn’t want you to hate yourself for things you hadn’t done yet, so I…I didn’t say anything either. But it’s okay, because you…you came back, I always knew you could, I told Obi-Wan, and…and we’re both here now. That’s what matters. We’re both here, and you’re you again, and...”

His head is spinning. “You…you don’t…you thought I was…?”

(her face flickers in front of his; warm brown eyes replaced by earnest blue ones, I’ve got to save you; you already have)

“I knew you were,” she says, and kisses him again.

And then she feels something wet on her hand.

“…you’re bleeding!”

He catches her hand. He’s really short of breath now, and she can feel his heartbeat fluttering under her fingers. “S’all right,” he says again. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t be stupid,” she says. “You’ll be okay, I’m gonna get help, we’ll get you fixed up, you’ll be—”

He shakes his head. “Maybe—maybe it’s…it’s better this way, I can’t…I can’t break…”

“Don’t talk like that,” she says. “It’s not, it’s—no, Ani—”

“Least I…least I got to see you again,” he says, then, “I love you. Always, always loved you.”

“No,” she says, “no, no, no, you can’t—we—we fixed it, Ani, I don’t think we get another do-over you can’t…you can’t do this, don’t leave me, please, please, stay with me…”

And then he passes out.

When he doesn’t answer, she yells; all pretense at secrecy forgotten; for one of her handmaidens to go find a doctor.

Obi-Wan, meanwhile, has landed on Coruscant and follows his instincts, heading straight for Palpatine’s office. He arrives not long after Mace realizes Anakin has slipped off again.

“Obi-Wan,” Mace says. “What are you doing here?”

Obi-Wan takes in the scene with a glance—the blood; Palpatine’s body which looks so much smaller and less intimidating in death—and all he says is, “where’s Anakin?”

“I’m not sure,” Mace admits. “I turned away for a moment and when I got back he was gone.”

“He—how badly was he hurt?”

“Badly,” Mace says, “or I wouldn’t have left him alone. He was conscious, and lucid, but I didn’t think he could stand, let alone…”

“Damn it,” Obi-Wan says, half under his breath, “damn it, Anakin, you promised you wouldn’t shut me out, we were supposed to do this together—”

“…what.” Mace says.

…oh, not good, Obi-Wan thinks, realizing he’d just said that out loud.

“Obi-Wan, do you have any idea what the hell is going on here?”

“I—”

And then he spots the dagger on the floor, where Anakin dropped it.

Very, very carefully, he picks it up by the handle.

Mace catches his thoughts immediately. Explanations can wait. “I’ll pass this on to the medics,” he says, taking it from Obi-Wan’s hands. “Go find Skywalker.”

(as if Obi-Wan needs to be told)

(as if Obi-Wan really needs to look that hard)

(use your feelings, Obi-Wan, and find him, you will)

Padme looks up when her door opens, still cradling Anakin, hoping it’s the doctor that Elle ran for, but—

“Obi-Wan,” she says, and their eyes meet—

And he knows.

“…when he wakes,” he says, his voice shaking just a little, “when…when Anakin wakes, the three of us need to have a very, very long conversation.”

Her eyes widen, comprehending, and she nods.

And, just as he did for her on Geonosis, she shifts her position, making room for him.

He rests a hand on Anakin’s forehead; healing isn’t his strong suit but he does everything he can to hold Anakin there with them, until the doctor finally, finally arrives.

And, because this is already waaaaaaaaaay longer than I thought it would be, a brief epilogue/summary:

Anakin spends the next couple weeks pretty out of it, while Obi-Wan accounts to the Council and Padme and Mace explain Palpatine’s death.

(but he does survive; it would hardly be a proper fix-it if I gave him an actual Cyrano ending, now would it)

Bail is appointed interim Chancellor while everything is sorted out, but steps down/does not become permanent Chancellor. Probably Mon does.

When Anakin is conscious and lucid enough, he is debriefed; after a great deal of discussion with Mace, with Yoda, and, most importantly, with Obi-Wan and Padme and Ahsoka, he decides to leave the Order.

(Padme takes a brief leave of absence from the Senate, and takes him to Varykino to continue to recuperate, and so they can really figure out where they are as a couple now, with everything they know, with everything they lived through and then averted. But she does go back to work after a month or two)

(Obi-Wan takes over Ahsoka’s training; but it’s more or less understood that he will resign and join the others after he sees her through to her Trials)

Ahsoka actually stays with the Order in this timeline; becoming weaponsmaster after Master Draillig retires.

(but when the twins and their eventual little sisters are born, she revels in being Aunt Ahsoka, and visits as often as she can)

And from there…well, all kinds of things could happen, with the Galaxy reshaped and set back on track.

The important thing is, though, Our Heroes have all the time in the world to figure it out.

[acertaincritic]

Let’s analyze! “Truthwitch” by Susan Dennard, Chapter 1

“Truthwitch” is a book that let me down on many different levels - at its (nonexistent) worldbuilding, at creating interesting, likable character (there’s maybe a couple of those, but far away from the main cast), and at providing exciting plot (mostly it seems to consist of cheap fight scenes). However, this post isn’t about my overall feelings - I already wrote a review on another website. It wasn’t enough to satisfy my salty self, so I decided to do more, and take “Truthwitch” as my first subject of a series I meant to do for a while: “Let’s analyze!”. Here I’ll do a line-by-line commentary on “Truthwitch’s” chapter 1, pointing out what works, what doesn’t work and why, and also how to improve it.

I don’t intend to cover more than chapter 1 of this book, but there might be slight spoilers to the next chapters; however I won’t spoil anything major, or even anything further than 1/3 of the book (which is as far as I made it).

Everything had gone horribly wrong.

First line and I must say - it’s a good line. While I don’t know many readers who would put a book away after reading only one line, I know of lots of agents who would do that. So especially to the aspiring writers here - you must make your first line something strong. Something that immediately draws the reader in. This one is a good example. It tells us that the main character is - or soon will be - in trouble, which immediately provides conflict. It also raises several questions: what had gone terribly wrong? Why? How? I had a lot of hopes for this book, and the opening line only added to them.

After all, what can go wrong if the writer knows how to write a decent opening line?...

None of Safiya fon Hasstrel’s hastily laid plans for this holdup were unfolding as they ought.

First, the black carriage with the gleaming gold standard was not the target Safi and Iseult had been waiting for. Worse, this cursed carriage was accompanied by eight rows of city guards blinking midday sun from their eyes.

Ahh, things are going downhill with the next couple of sentences. First off, referring to the main character by her full name at first just to use simple “Safi” later is a bad move. “Safiya fon Hasstrel” scares the reader off. It’s also unnecessary. We have no idea if the MC’s surname is significant or not; we don’t need to know it to understand the plot at hand. Further more, this sentence says exactly the same thing as the first line - only it uses different words.

Then the second paragraph is even worse. We are told that Safi and Iseult (whoever she is) were waiting for a carriage that they wanted to rob, and that the one that arrived is not the right one. However, for some reason the fact that its black and with gleaming gold standard is important. Why? What does the standard mean? We don’t know. We also don’t know why Safi and Iseult were targeting a carriage in the first place. Are they simply robbers? That doesn’t build sympathy for them.

[Later we learn that actually yes, they are simply robbers. They targeted the carriage because they wanted to move to a bigger flat. This is the level of entitlement that I simply cannot comprehend, and pretty much made me absolutely dislike both the main heroines for the rest of my short, but painful read.]

Now, how to fix it? Cut Iseult out from this paragraph - she only confuses the reader. Have Safi (no “Safiya fon Hasstrel”) focus on the carriage, also tell us what is her position. Is she on a tree? On a mountain? Somewhere else? Then, when she sees it’s the wrong carriage, have her turn to her friend - and then introduce Iseult’s name, with a brief explanation of who she is. Just like I did in that sentence ;)

Second, there was absolutely nowhere for Safi and Iseult to go. Up on their limestone outcropping, the dusty road below was the only path to Veñaza City. And just as this thrust of gray rock overlooked the road, the road overlooked nothing but turquoise sea forever. It was seventy feet of cliff pounded by rough waves and even rougher winds.

Ahh, so we are given their position. Cool. It’s a shame we still don’t know who Iseult is, and why they should even be going somewhere in the first place. Do they have to run? Why? Is standing on an outcropping a crime in this setting?

And third—the real kick in the kidneys—was that as soon as the guards marched over the girls’ buried trap and the firepots within exploded … Well, then those guards would be scouring every inch of the cliffside.

Oh, OK, I see. So there is a reason why they have to run. See how the author is giving the information backward? First we learn that Safi and Iseult have nowhere to go, but we don’t know why they should - and then it’s revealed why. It’s a sign of unedited discovery writing. In other words, it’s very likely that the author was thinking up these details while she was writing, and didn’t come back to change it. So her thought process would be:

the carriage is surrounded by guards and that’s bad! -> that’s bad because the heroines have nowhere to run! -> and they must run, because they have hidden explosives under the path!

And this is what we’ve got, instead of the other - the logical - way round.

This also explains how the heroines came up with such a dumb plan that required that no one, but absolutely not a single person, walks up the path before their target, from either of the sides.

“Hell-gates, Iz.” Safi snapped down her spyglass. “There are four guards in each row. Eight times four makes…” Her face scrunched up. Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen …

“It’s thirty-two,” Iseult said blandly.

“Thirty-two thrice-damned guards with thirty-two thrice-damned crossbows.”

At this point I began to worry about our MC. She threatened to turn out another “all-action, no brains” type of a ‘stronk’ (don’t mistake for strong) female character. Also, I’d think they should be in a hurry rather than stand there and count, trying to sound witty. Is it important if there’s 32 guards, and not 30? No, hell, it’s not! My ladies, get going!

Iseult only nodded and eased back the hood of her brown cape. The sun lit up her face. She was the perfect contrast to Safi: midnight hair to Safi’s wheat, moon skin to Safi’s tan, and hazel eyes to Safi’s blue.

Hazel eyes that were now sliding to Safi as Iseult plucked away the spyglass. “I hate to say ‘I told you so’—”

“Then don’t.”

“—but,” Iseult finished, “Everything he said to you last night was a lie. He was most certainly not interested in a simple card game.” Iseult ticked off two gloved fingers. “He was not leaving town this morning by the northern highway. And I bet”—a third finger unfurled—“his name wasn’t even Caden.”

So now we get description of Iseult. It’s rather deftly intertwined with Safi’s description - not bad. However then we get a good old “I told you so”, but executed poorly. It only brings more confusion. Who is this ‘he’? What has a simple card game have to do with the carriage? Oh, so his name is Caden... which tells us nothing. It feels as if the characters were referring an event that the reader already knows - just that, it’s not the case, and instead we’re forced to pause and reread to glean out as much information as possible.

And what about those 32 guards coming your way???

Caden. If … no, when Safi found that Chiseled Cheater, she was going to break every bone in his perfect rutting face.

Safi groaned and banged her head against the rock. She’d lost all of her money to him. Not just some, but all.

Last night had hardly been the first time Safi had bet all of her—and Iseult’s—savings on a card game. It wasn’t as if she ever lost, for, as the saying went, You can’t trick a Truthwitch.

Plus, the winnings off one round alone from the highest-stake taro game in Veñaza City would have bought Safi and Iseult a place of their own. No more living in an attic for Iseult, no more stuffy Guildmaster’s guest room for Safi.

But as Lady Fate would have it, Iseult hadn’t been able to join Safi at the game—her heritage had banned her from the highbrow inn where the game had taken place. And without her Threadsister beside her, Safi was prone to… mistakes.

Particularly mistakes of the strong-jawed, snide-tongued variety who plied Safi with compliments that somehow slipped right past her Truthwitchery. In fact, she hadn’t sensed a lying bone in Chiseled Cheater’s body when she’d collected her winnings from the in-house bank … Or when Chiseled Cheater had hooked his arm in hers and guided her into the warm night … Or when he’d leaned in for a chaste yet wildly heady kiss on the cheek.

I will never gamble again, she swore, her heel drumming on the limestone. And I will never flirt again.

Great. Now we’re getting long paragraphs of explanation and exposition. Shame we still don’t know why Safi and Iseult are trying to rob a carriage in the first place. Also, if Safi is supposed to sense any lie, how the hell could that Caden deceive her? It should be impossible. Especially since it’s implied that he simply told her his name, and the route he’d take - Safi should be able to see through it. But no, apparently her power didn’t work for some reason; for the plot’s sake, I guess.

And the 32 guards are marching, marching, marching...

“If we’re going to run for it,” Iseult said, interrupting Safi’s thoughts, “then we need to do so before the guards reach our trap.”

“You don’t say.” Safi glared at her Threadsister, who watched the incoming guards through the spyglass. Wind kicked at Iseult’s dark hair, lifting the wispy bits that had fallen from her braid. A distant gull cried its obnoxious scree, scr-scree, scr-scree!

Safi hated gulls; they always shit on her head.

“More guards,” Iseult murmured, the waves almost drowning out her words. But then louder, she said, “Twenty more guards coming from the north.”

Oh, no, 32 + 20 =  52! Those calculations are so important at the moment! It’s more important to count the guards than to run for our life, hurray! And noticing how Iseult’s hair was ruffled, and how a gull cried in the distance is even more vital in this situation! We absolutely cannot do without it!

*swears silently for a minute or so*

For half a moment, Safi’s breath choked off. Now, even if she and Iseult could somehow face the thirty-two guards accompanying the carriage, the other twenty guards would be upon them before they could escape.

I was amazed that she even thought about facing 32 guards. At this point, I actually assumed that Iiseult’s magic was something powerful and perfect for killing, as I couldn’t see another explanation. However, later we learn that it’s not.

Also, if they could face 32 guards, then why would 20 more scare them? It would be less than what they would have already dealt with.

Safi wastes more time on being irritated. Then:

“We’re down to two options,” Iseult cut in, scooting back to Safi’s side. “We either turn ourselves in—”

“Over my grandmother’s rotting corpse,” Safi spat.

“—or we try to reach the guards before they trigger the trap. Then all we have to do is brazen our way through.”

Eventually, they decide to go with the latter.

I was still clinging to my hopes at that point. They would come up with something clever, I thought. Something more clever than hiding explosives under the path to kill whoever happens to come across them first.

Well, not really.

“Wait, Iz.” In a flurry of movement, Safi swung off her cape. Then with a quick slash-rip-slash of her parrying knife, she cut off the hood. “Skirt and kerchief. We’ll be less threatening as peasants.”

Iseult’s eyes narrowed. Then she dropped to the road. “But then our faces will be more obvious. Rub on as much dirt as you can.” As Iseult scrubbed her face, turning it a muddy brown, Safi wound the hood over her hair and wrapped the cape around her waist. Once she’d tucked the brown cloak into her belt, careful to hide her scabbards beneath, she too slathered dirt and mud over her cheeks.

In less than a minute, both girls were ready. Safi ran a quick, scrutinizing eye over Iseult … but the disguise was good. Good enough. Her Threadsister looked like a peasant in desperate need of a bath.

Ah, another fancy, incomprehensible word - “Threadsister”. What does it mean? I admit I still don’t know. It doesn’t seem to be anything more than just a supposedly cool (not really) way of saying “my best friend”.

Also, two points.

1. I don’t believe that ripping their clothes, rubbing dirt into their faces, and the rest took less than a minute. I also don’t believe that it would make for a convincing disguise. It doesn’t help that I have no idea what they are wearing - I didn’t even know that they both had capes until now, when it suddenly became relevant.

Note to aspiring writers: If you want to make your characters appear clever, you shouldn’t do so by withholding information from the reader, or giving the characters extra resources that weren’t there in the first place. It doesn’t work.

2. Meanwhile the 32 guards are marching, marching, marching...

Well, eventually our heroines made their way down, and approached the soldiers.

Then the mustached man—clearly the leader—raised his own crossbow. “Halt.”

Safi complied, letting her feet drag to a stop—while also covering as much ground as she could. “Onga?” she asked, the Arithuanian word for yes. After all, if they were going to be peasants, they might as well be immigrant peasants.

“Do you speak Dalmotti?” the leader asked, looking first at Safi. Then at Iseult.

Iseult came to a clumsy stop beside Safiya. “We spwik. A litttttle.” It was easily the worst attempt at an Arithuanian accent that Safiya had ever heard from Iseult’s mouth.

“We are … in trouble?” Safi lifted her hands in a universally submissive gesture. “We only go to Veñaza City.”

Iseult gave a dramatic cough, and Safi wanted to throttle her. No wonder Iz was always the cutpurse and Safi the distraction. Her Threadsister was awful at acting.

“We want a city healer,” Safi rushed to say before Iseult could muster another unbelievable cough. “In case she has the plague. Our mother died from it, you see, and ohhhh, how she coughed in those final days. There was so much blood—”

“Plague?” the guard interrupted.

“Oh, yes.” Safi nodded knowingly. “My sister is very ill.”

Iseult heaved another cough—but this one was so convincing, Safi actually flinched … and then hobbled to her. “Oh, you need a healer. Come, come. Let your sister help you.”

The guard turned back to his men, already dismissing the girls, already bellowing orders: “Back in formation! Resume march!”

Seriously, it’s so dumb that almost funny. Iseult’s awful, but clearly not enough to stir the man’s distrust. The two wandering girls are in no way suspicious, coming across with just the perfect - too perfect - excuse, and the poor execution (”Come, come”? “Let your sister help you“?). Also, plague? What plague? And they’re going to the city, shouldn’t the soldier stop them? There’s plenty of people to infect there. 

And yet heroines are given a pass. But, it’s not the end of their trouble!

Safi was just towing Iseult past the black carriage when its door popped wide. A saggy old man leaned his scarlet-clad torso outside. His wrinkles shook in the wind.

It was the leader of the Gold Guild, a man named Yotiluzzi, whom Safi had seen from afar—at last night’s establishment, no less.

The old Guildmaster clearly didn’t recognize Safi, though, and after a cursory glance, he lifted his reedy voice. “Aeduan! Get this foreign filth away from me!”

Why the man opened the door of his carriage if he wanted nothing to do with the “foreign filth” is unclear. However, what’s worse, are other terms thrown in as if we’re supposed to know them - “Gold Guilt” and “Guildmaster”. And the Guildmaster apparently should’ve recognized Safi, but we have no idea why. It’s irritating and distracting, and overall adds to the impression that it’s a book two, not a book one.

And while the reason is later kinda explained [Safi’s a noble, so presumably she had a chance to meet another VIP], it happens after such a long time that I dare say no one would come back to this scene with “Oh! I get it now!” Unless it’s me rereading just to bury it under salt.

Then, there’s Aeduan:

A figure in white stalked around the carriage’s back wheel. His cape billowed, and though a hood shaded his face, there was no hiding the knife baldric across his chest or the sword at his waist.

He was a Carawen monk—a mercenary trained to kill since childhood.

Well, at least this time we get the explanation immediately. Shame it required another fantasy name, and I don’t even know if it’s the name of a place, or of an organization. Nor what powers this guy is supposed to have.

Basically, I know nothing.

Safi froze, and without thinking, she eased her arm away from Iseult, who twisted silently behind her. The guards would reach the girls’ trap at any moment, and this was their ready position: Initiate. Complete.

Initiate. Compl- WHAT??? Is this saying clear to native speakers, and just something that my non-native English cannot comprehend? I get the meaning, but it sounds just so... off. Awful. And it is repeated over and over throughout the novel.

“Arithuanians,” the monk said. His voice was rough, but not with age—with underuse. “From what village?” He strolled a single step toward Safi.

Clearly he didn’t notice that the girls are now standing in a ready position, whatever that position looks like (how exactly did Iseult “twist”?).

She had to fight the urge not to cower back. Her Truthwitchery was suddenly bursting with discomfort—a grating sensation, as if skin were being scratched off the back of her neck.

And it wasn’t his words that set Safi’s magic to flaring. It was his presence. This monk was young, yet there was something off about him. Something too ruthless—too dangerous—to ever be trusted.

Apparently the ability to tell truth from lie is somehow also able to sense a person’s magic. Because reasons.

He pulled back his hood, revealing a pale face and close-cropped brown hair. Then, as the monk sniffed the air near Safi’s head, red swirled around his pupils.

Safi’s stomach turned to stone.

Bloodwitch.

Well, at least the term sounds appropriately fearsome.

This monk was a rutting Bloodwitch. A creature from the myths, a being who could smell a person’s blood—smell their very witchery—and track it across entire continents. If he latched onto Safi’s or Iseult’s scent, then they were in deep, deep—

Pop-pop-pop!

Gunpowder burst inside firepots. The guards had hit the trap.

All right, so this intro into a fight scene wasn’t that bad. The reveal of a scary Bloodwitch followed by the explosion is quite good a way to speed things up.

Safi acted instantly—as did the monk. His sword swished from its scabbard; her knife came up. She clipped the edge of his blade, parrying it aside.

He recovered and lunged. Safi lurched back. Her calves hit Iseult, yet in a single fluid movement, Iseult kneeled—and Safi rolled sideways over her back.

Initiate. Complete. It was how the girls fought. How they lived.

Ahh, I really hated this “Initiate. Complete.” thing since this moment. And the picture of Safi rolling over Iseult’s back is just so... She wouldn’t have time, alright? The Bloodwitch should be able to at least cut Iseult down before she straightened up, if not slash Safi in flying. It’s just so ridiculously hollywoodified fight, that I can’t....

Not to mention, a fight without stakes - and a fight is such when the reader doesn’t care which side wins - is a boring fight.

 The duel continues for some time. In the meantime the Bloodwitch heals his wounds - which is cool for an antagonist. Then...

But Safi didn’t have time for another strike. The guards were doubling back. The Guildmaster was screaming from within his carriage, and the horses were charging into a frantic gallop.

Iseult darted in front of Safi, scythes flying fast and beating two arrows from the air. Then, for a brief moment, the carriage blocked the girls from the guards. Only the Bloodwitch could see them, and though he reached for his knives, he was too slow. Too drained from the magic of healing.

I have no idea how the carriage blocked off the guards.

Yet he was smiling—smiling—as if he knew something that Safi didn’t. As if he could and wouldhunt her down to make her pay for this.

This is a good set-up for later.

“Come on!” Iseult yanked at Safi’s arm, pulling her into a sprint toward the cliffside.

At least this was part of their plan. At least this they had practiced so often they could do it with their eyes closed.

This had me completely lost. They practiced jumping off the cliff? How, why?...

Just as the first crossbow bolts pounded the road behind them, the girls reached a waist-high boulder on the ocean side of the road.

They plunked their blades back into scabbards. Then in two leaps, Safi was over the rock—and Iseult too. On the other side, the cliff ran straight down to thundering white waves.

Two ropes waited, affixed to a stake pounded deep into the earth. With far more speed and force than was ever intended for this escape, Safi snatched up her rope, hooked her foot in a loop at the end, gripped a knot at head level…

And jumped.

How they managed to hung these lines up there is not explained - and beyond me. It also contradicts their previous statement that they had no way to go. Clearly, they had an escape route prepared beforehand.

This concludes chapter one. Honestly, I considered dropping this book at that very moment. However, I still thought that perhaps it would get better. That maybe once we get to the proper plot, the world building details will become clear, the characters suddenly become more likable, the actions will suddenly start to make sense...

They don’t. 

So eventually for all my goodwill, I still ended up like this: