amazildoessomethingstupid

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 86: Trapped

We made it.  We’re now at the end of the line. Back when I repledged my vow of illiteracy this was the last chapter that came out.  And what a chapter it was to go out on.  I’ve talked about how this volume did so much for the side characters of BCB in fleshing them out and giving them redemption through insight and allowing them to showcase their personalities.  From Stacy, to Rachel, and even to Tess who got to have her brighter future in the end.  But there was one last character Taeshi wanted to touch on before we left. A character that had been there since Volume 1 and while he had his presence and was no doubt a fan favorite for some, it was about time we gave some love to the boy… Augustus.

And boy does this chapter deliver on that.  Now, everyone has basically agreed that Augustus is alright and accepted him as a main supporting character and arguably the best supporting side-character we have left in in the current group but keep in mind, back then readers didn’t have the same feelings as we do now regarding Augustus.  At the time he was a pretty divisive character, he had moments and there was reason to like him with his Devil with a Heart archetype and some endearing qualities but you’d be hard pressed to say that he was the best character in BCB.  The guy was a snake, intentionally elusive, and not to mention y’know…

…that… And yes, I am using the old original version of Volume! Thank you for noticing! While I usually use the current version of these scenes to illustrate my point, I feel the need to use these original pencil versions here because you need to remember.  The Volume 1 you read now, is not the same volume 1 that readers who saw this chapter read.  While Taeshi’s changes to those volumes in the omnibus may not seem that big or significant, the little changes that are there add up, and may change the way you view certain characters compared to how older readers view them.  And all of this is to say, that remember.  In this chapter, readers didn’t see him as the cynical, jaded, edgy bad boy with a hardened heart of gold that he’s established to be now.  We didn’t see him as the good boy Augustus, we knew him as The Hard-R Cat. Needless to say; this character needed some cleaning up, some redemption, some sympathy, and it was not going to be easy.  But if this series of chapters has shown you anything… It’s that Taeshi is more than up to the task. And don’t be fooled

Trapped isn’t JUST a character chapter to flesh out and build sympathy for Augustus.  It also served an important role in re-establishing Alejandro.  The one main physical antagonist in BCB.  Giving readers a reminder that even though he hasn’t done anything since Confrontation in Volume 1 YEARS ago, he’s still out there, he’s still irrationally angry, and he’s still a threat.  And even though this edgy boy may have some dark spots and you may not like him.  But he’s likely the one faulty cog that’s keeping this rage train stuck at the station. But we’ve already SEEN Augustus’ bad environment and living situation! We know that he’s got a bad life! If people weren’t moved by that knowledge back then, nothing was going to change their minds!

Awwwww look at that cute little scoundrel~ He ain’t hurtin’ nobody! How can you be upset with that!  Especially because this time, IT ACTUALLY IS A FLASHBACK! One of the most memorable flashbacks in BCB history, that serves multiple purposes.  Not only does it give us a better insight into Augustus by showing how he got roped into Alejandro’s gang.  But it also gives us insight into Alejandro’s past as well, and shows us how much of a monster he is by showing us…

The ex he talked about in Confrontation: Melanie! In these two characters we can see both sides of the coin for Alejandro, and what makes him such a bastard who is somehow able to manipulate and keep a gang around him (even if it’s just two people). Through Baby Auggie’s perspective we can kind of understand how he could get swept up in the moment and view Alejandro’s situation and environment as enviable.  He’s given the freedom to be away from his neglectful family, he’s given responsibility and a sense of worth by working with Alejandro.  For an impressionable kid, it’s not hard to see the clear and present pros of sticking around him.  But with Melanie…

He could never ignore the glaring red flag of being close to Alejandro. If it wasn’t for her presence and influence on baby Gussy’ life, things could’ve ended much differently.  Chances are, Augustus would’ve gone full snake and embraced the gang lifestyle, becoming as antisocial and sociopathic as Alejandro as a means of adapting and in a sense thriving in his terrible environment.  But! While people may throw shade, and judge Melanie for… well… We’ll go to that later… sadly we have to.  Melanie was the one guiding force for Augustus to show that this life wasn’t what he wanted. She showed the ugly side of Alejandro’s temper, and the restrictions that come from sticking with him.  She showed him what true abuse was, but also…

She showed him what he should be striving for.  Not just a faux sense of freedom by latching yourself to another monster, but by going through the system and using what you have to get out of your environment altogether.  To set your sights on something more.  To strive for real stability. And she was an interesting character too, she had a wisdom and disillusionment but she was also punk and had an edge about her.  It wasn’t quite clear what she was up to in the gang, but one thing that became apparent was that when talking about freedom Augustus wanted to be free of his terrible life, but Melanie…

Wanted to be free of Alejandro.  And YES I KNOW! I KNOW! It’s the Hard R… buuuuuut… uhhhh not to be… reductive about what the implications of this scene are, or minimize the gravity of the situation but I… hazard to maybe… knock that to a lower-case r. IT’S STILL AN R, OKAY IT’S STILL AN R! But well… The thing is if you want to argue for the Hard-R you’ll need to answer the question “what’s their age again?” And if you wanna figure that out, you’ll need to solv- Oh fuck it’s THE BCB FLASHBACK TIME EQUATION! Aaaaaauuuuugh! I hate it so much.  BCB scholars have DIED trying to map out this equation, and figure out exact ages for characters in flashbacks, IT WILL TURN YOUR MIND INTO MUSH! But to illustrate my point, I am going to explain to you the basic formula to solve the equation.  So if you’re trying to solve for X to find Augustus’ age at this time period, you’re going to need his current age.  And for this we are going to use his scholastic year as it should give us a solid 1-2 year age range that we can directly use for comparison.  Now, that was the easy part. Now you will have to archive dive in order to find the earliest point in the timeline where the events we are talking about could’ve happened.  But! Since this is the first time we’ve seen this event take place which is the reason we’re doing this stupid equation in the first place; we will need to look for what was the next earliest point where these events were referenced and that is actually easy as the answer is confrontation!  But! Augustus wasn’t even introduced as a character up to that point, we didn’t even know that he was in the same school as the kids.  But we do know that he is 2 grades higher than the gang during Confrontation, so we take the difference in years between our main characters back then to where they are now, the answer being 3 and apply that difference to Augustus’ current grade year, and now you have an accurate age range of Augustus during Confrontation, but remember we’re not looking for the age range of Augustus in Confrontation, we’re talking about an event that happened BEFORE confrontation, so slap a big LESS THAN symbol next to whatever number you came up with.  But wait, he’s not an actual baby during this chapter so we have to put a floor on how old he is during Trapped.  We could guess off of the appearance of Augustus but then again his nickname in this chapter is actually “BABY AUGUSTUS”! What is the youngest he could possibly be? 5? 8? 10? Whatever number you settle on, apply a greater than symbol next to it and Congratulations! You’ve figured out the approximate age range of Augustus in Trapped! I’m so proud of you~ You just finished the first part of the equation. Now you’re gonna have to do it again, but harder this time. Because, now you have to solve for WHAT AGE IS MELANIE IN THIS SCENE?! AND YOU DON’T KNOW! The closest thing you can do to determine her age is by going off the assumption that she is around the age of Alejandro and Toby at this time.  So you need to do the equation again to find out WHAT AGE IS ALEJANDRO!  And that’s MUCH harder to corroborate, because you will HAVE to go outside the comic and look up what number Taeshi gave for his age during that time, and that number COULD CHANGE! That number could be wrong, or throw every other part of the equation out of whack! That’s why when determining Augustus’ age range we used school year because there is a tight typical age range for people in that school year (assuming he didn’t skip or miss years which could throw things WAY off) It is the most accurate way of properly determining what age these characters should be around in a particular timeframe.  But nonetheless, now that you know his age cap based on the number Taeshi gave you, you know that he has to be younger than that number.  And since we have an approximation of Augustus’ age range, we can put a greater than on that number since we know Alejandro is older than Augustus.  Oh I’m sorry is your brain melting? Wrap it in tin foil and put that back on because I’M. NOT. FINISHED. WITH. YOU!

Cause we still haven’t solved for Melanie’s age range! The closest frame of reference for us to solve for that is by taking Alejandro’s age range in this time period, and assuming what the dating range for him is! So we’re just gonna guess and say… fuck it, 4.  So apply that variable to the solution you’ve put on Alejandro’s age range as a variable lesser than, greater than, or equal to 4 with a minimum value greater than Y determined by Augustus’ age range in this period and now you have a fairly accurate approximate age range for how old these two characters were in this chapter... but not in this scene.

BECAUSE IF YOU’LL REMEMBER THERE WAS A TIME SKIP BEFORE THIS SCENE! How long was that time skip? “a few years” So what does that mean?  That means we have a variable greater than 1 to add onto our estimated values! And there are a lot of values greater than one, man… There are so many numbers greater than one… Just pick one, fuck it. Just guess, because that’s what we’re doing! We’re just guessing! You don’t know how old these characters are, you don’t know what the age gap is! And yeah, you can ask Teashi but guess what? SHE DOESN’T KNOW EITHER! You think she crunched the numbers and did this stupid fucking equation herself?  HELL NO! I ASKED ALL OF MY MATHMATICIAN FRIENDS WHO WENT TO COLLEGE, AND NONE OF THEM COULD MAKE SENSE OF THIS EQUATION! Just throw your hands in the air and say “fuck it, they’re close enough in age.” Cause it doesn’t matter! Was it the Hard R? Who knows. Was it manipulation? Probably. Was it fucked up? Of course! It’s fucked up people in a fucked up situation being fucked up.  We don’t need to dive deeper to make it even more fucked up, okay guys?  It doesn’t matter.  None of this even matters…

Yes for her crimes of thottery the Thot Police have come to take her away! Okay but for real though, I shouldn’t skip over this scene. Melanie is a love her or hate her character.  Some won’t get over her relationship with Augustus being SUS to say the least, but at the very least she was an interesting and compelling character in her own right.  She was clearly in a terrible abusive relationship, desperate for any way out, and clinging on to whatever glimmer of good she could find.  And while it wasn’t right to put Augustus in that situation, she at least showed understanding and maybe a bit of guilt about it RIGHT after she did the deed.  Her manic breakdown post-coitus shows the kind of person she is.  Despite her cool outward appearance, she’s broken, she’s desperate, and kind of nuts! It’s a classic tragic romance, and at the end of it she showed genuine concern for Augustus and wanted to keep him safe; going so far as maiming him in order to draw attention away from Augustus being the person she cheated on Alejandro with.  She’s a divisive character no doubt, and for those that hater her I can’t say I blame you but… I just can’t blame her. To me, Melanie was a victim of circumstance.  She tried to make the best of what she had and when it came down to it she wasn’t afraid to fight back and protect the one she loved. She had a role to play and she did so perfectly.  She showed Auggie that running with Alejandro was not sustainable, and while he could stay he needed to find his own way out.  Just like her…

In the toolbox of characters, Melanie’s was to explain what makes Augustus who he is.  Her relationship puts into context not only his outlook on life, showing why he’s jaded and unmoved by Lucy’s melodrama, puts context into his relationship with other characters.  His hard press on Daisy in the carnival makes sense now that we’ve seen how he was treated the last time he ever felt loved, and there’s a clear parallel between the two as he sees Daisy as a symbol of innocence, purity, and a brighter future not too dissimilar to how he seemed to Melanie.  But also, this contextualizes his relationship with Lucy.  He was overly cold to her, because she was the main target for Alejandro and probably want to get attached to her initially.  But after seeing that same desperation, and getting to know her more he couldn’t stand to see her suffer the same fate as Melanie.  And speaking of Lucy…

She makes a little appearance at the end! And it’s at this point that we’re reminded that it’s been two years since we saw Lucy! And her appearance her makes a lot of sense, given that Augustus’ only main interaction with the gang has been through Lucy as no one else would touch him with a ten foot pole.  We get to have a nice little back and forth between the two, and it’s at this point where we realize that she’s been almost 2 years since she was last seen in this comic. And… that’s okay.  At this point most people have resigned to life without Lucy, at least for now.  Because these last few chapters have been absolutely wonderful.  That���s not to say that the comic is best without her, but… It’s been good.  We’re good.  And seeing her in this small bit, just ribbing and talking with Augustus… It’s sweet.  It reminds us that she’s out there somewhere.  Probably doing her own thing, she’s free.  And hopefully she’ll come back someday, bigger and better than ever.  And when she does, we’ll be right here waiting with a bunch of stories to tell, and adventures to cover.  With new characters, developments, and maybe better arcs to come!  With the way things are going, we’ll be right here waiting.

10/10

It will be okay.

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 85: Total Recall

Well, now that we’ve had a good laugh and some great times, it’s time to get into the big stuff.  We’ve had our sweet fun chapters, but now it’s time we get serious as we get into Chapter 85: Total Recall. By far one of the most memorable chapters in BCB, with the second most impactful moment in recent memory!

Look we get one alright? I get one.  What was the most impactful moment you ask? Oh, that’s easy!

Why yes, I am proud of myself. Very much so, thank you for asking, your boos make it all the more worth it.  But seriously, Total Recall is an interesting chapter to revisit because going back to reread it’s allowed me to bring up and talk about some of the moments that got overshadowed by that one big moment and the little things that lead to it. One thing I want to point out though about the early part of this chapter though, is all the callbacks!

It straight up just pokes at the carnival chapter! Which I guess it has to since it’s another prom chapter, so it would naturally draw comparison to the previous prom chapter, but still it’s worth mentioning since BCB has this nasty habit of preferring to push aside things from Volume 1 that it doesn’t like.  With a common consensus at the time being, “NEW READERS SHOULD START FROM VOLUME 2! THAT’S THE BEST WAY TO READ BCB!” And while yes, we did also get nods to past gags during the Stacy chapter but that was a commissioned chapter with a character that hadn’t been relevant SINCE Volume 1. But here it’s more in your face and lingers on that a lot, with whole pages used to remind you of what happened, and how far Paulo has come in his romantic journey.  But it’s not just Paulo though, as that jab at the carnival wasn’t just a one-off! It actually sets up THIS scene:

Yeah! The awkward talk between Daisy and Augustus, that reaffirms his character and shows that the AU of Love My Way was correct in that he was just intending for that moment to be nothing more than a kiss, but it was still over the line?  The scene where Daisy repells Augustus, but tells him that he needs help? THAT WAS IN THIS CHAPTER! I COMPLETELY FORGOT! I bet you did too, didn’t you?  But as for the actual chapter, Paulo goes to the junior prom and we get to spend time with all of them!  Of course, Rachel, but also Jess, Matt and Jordan who is…

Going through his own character arc it seems.  And I love it! It harkens to a critique I had with the comic at the time, and even now in that it shows that there is life outside of the main characters’ plotlines!  While I’ve complained and maintain that Jordan’s no-good-very-bad-inconsequential love square is fucking POINTLESS; in here it helps flesh out the world a bit.  Much like the Stacy chapter, it shows that these side-characters we may not care about have lives of their own, their own little drama arcs and romantic interests, it’s nice! Although it’s weird to compare him to Mi- wait a second…

oh ha. Ha. Very funny Taeshi- IS THAT WHY ROXY GETS SHOVED ASIDE AND CAST AWAY LIKE SHE NEVER EXISTED? IS THAT MEANT TO BE LIKE HOW MIKE TREATED LUCY? *hissss* positivity. Positivity… BUT WE WERE ROBBED! Everyone gushes over how adorable the twink team is...

BUT WE HAD THIS CUTIE PATOOTIE WAIFU BAIT RIGHT HERE! SHE HAD A FUCKING NAME! SHE HAD POTENTIAL! WE WERE RRRRROOOOBBBBBEEEED! Ahhh oh well.  The girls hang back as the boys drive home, and we are treated to an actually nice bit where Jordan sympathizes with Paulo a bit, and it’s sweet before they all get Charlie St. Cloud’d an-… OH MY GOD I GET TO USE THIS PHRASE! OH MY GOD GET IN THE CAR, WE GOTTA GO RIGHT NOW! I GOTTA SHOW YOU SOMETHING!

So “Getting Charlie St. Cloud’d” is a term that I and only I ever use.  If you find another person using that term, that is me do not reveal yourself until the time is right.  I have been waiting YEARS to use the term, because it perfectly describes a common trope in media.  The phrase comes from the movie Charlie St. Cloud. Have you ever seen Charlie St. Cloud?  No! Of course you haven’t, it’s a stupid boring fucking movie from 2010 that is only known for two things.  One being that it starred Zach Efron hot off the heels of High School Musical in a dumb melodrama about a guy talking to his little ghost brother, but the other was that in the trailer for the movie it prominently featured the trope where two characters are having a benign conversation where out of fucking now-

And now the cursed knowledge of the phrase, “Getting Charlie St. Clouded” is in your brain tooooo.  But jokes aside, we really should talk about this scene because it does something very very well.  Pacing.  And I know, I joke and poke and get angry at the overuse of splash pages in recent chapters.  Going so far as making a drinking game out of Eternal Flame for how many there were in that but in Total Recall? I’m going to tell you to do something that I would never tell you to do under any other circumstance because this is actually important.  I want you, to stop right now.  And go to the official Bittersweet Candy Bowl website- NOW DON’T CLICK ANYTHING YET, DO NOT LOOK AT THE FRONT PAGE! Okay, DON’T read the comic.  Glance at the pretty colors, but do not even read the words. I’m going to guide you through this, okay? this next part may be tricky but I need to be particular about this.  Some people reading this may not have actually read BCB, so we have to be VERY delicate, and VERY particular about this.  This is a live bomb we are handling and I do not want to be responsible for any of you who have not been caught in this hellhole, to fall for it now! So, keep your eyes firmly at the top of your screen.  Where it says Bittersweet Candy Bowl, right underneath there are going to be a few words.  You are going to click the word “Archive”, now this is very important there are going to be a list of chapters DO NOT CLICK ANY OF THEM YET! You are going to count the numbers and scroll down the list until you find number 85. Total Recall.  If you see a banner that says “Volume Six” you have scrolled too far! Calmly but firmly scroll a  little further up and you should see Chapter 85.  Now you will notice that under that chapter’s description there are a few titled links.  You are going to click the link that says “Blinding Light” it should take you to page 25 of 42.  Click on that comic page, and you will see what makes this scene with all its splash pages… blows every other excuse for “pacing splash pages” out of the water.  It is fantastic.  It’s minimal, and it’s Taeshi at her most brilliant.  It’s dramatic pacing in a webcomic done right. It’s Taeshi utilizing her artistic talent to perfectly set a scene.  The stark contrast of pages filled with word bubbles to a hard splash page of white ruggedly brushed to fade into black.  The realistic watercolors working in perfect comparison to the cartoonish artstyle we had been accustomed to in Volume 5. Fading softly into white again to reintroduce us to the cartoonish style in a bouquet of flowers. The use of longer vertical pages to turn what could’ve been three splash pages of nothing into only two pages! It doesn’t waste your time, it perfectly itself and puts you into the place of Paulo’s waning consciousness.  And we see the light at the end of the tunnel.

it’s SO good! There’s a reason it’s the one thing people remember from The Paulo Show.  The way this scene is handled, perfectly exemplifies what Taeshi is capable of.  This was what made me realize that Taeshi wasn’t good.  She was great.  She was an artist, and she is able to do fantastic work.  Even when the characters look like munchkins, she could turn it serious and make you shut up without missing a beat. I mean think about it.  Paulo just got Charlie St. Cloud’d one of the oldest tricks in the book, we get baited with Lucy coming back when we know that wasn’t happening.  It was bait to make us think Lucy was there to see Paulo when even back then I knew that it wasn’t just for him. It was because her brother was in the car too when it got wrecked, and so her family probably insisted she come see him. But none of that mattered. Because this scene was fucking PERFECT.

AND THE AFTER CARE IS GOOD TOO! We get everyone showing up to Paulo’s bedside and showing that they care, it’s filled with some well-needed comic relief that much like the rest of The Paulo Show, is really fun and sweet.

 And it’s capped off by a talk with Tess explaining how like Paulo she too has progressed and moved on from who she was in that last prom chapter. She shows that she’s in a better place now, and is able to move on.  Yeah, it’s kinda forced and it’s blatant exposition to explain her lack of presence in the last two volumes but… It doesn’t matter.

10/10

It was perfect

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 84: Scenic Route

So with that out of the way ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER: chapter 84 Scenic Route! Which if there was a runt of the litter for the Paulo Show, this would be it. Not to say that it’s bad or anything, it’s wonderful and really sweet, and much like all the other chapters it has a really strong and memorable character moment in it.  The problem is… this chapter has a certain heavy weight attached to it that… It just couldn’t shake off. Even back then when I read this chapter I couldn’t fully appreciate it, because of the unshakable knowledge that this… would be the last time Tess got to hang out with the gang. And worst of all, even here she wasn’t allowed to shine.

The chapter is centered around Tess inviting the gang (minus Sue) to a picnic to a familiar riverside park. With callbacks a plenty for old readers to enjoy! Look!

They’re gonna race along the trees, just like that one time when-

Oh… yeah… Well thankfully that doesn’t happen here! Instead we’re treated to some nice subtle nods to Abbey and Daisy’s relationship being a little shaky still with Abbey seeming to be absentminded throughout the chapter, if not a bit negligent towards Daisy.

Honestly a most of this chapter is just the kids goofing around and… well… acting like kids.  Which is refreshing! I really like it, the chapter serves as a sweet reprieve from the heavier chapters that we’ve had and it’s nice seeing the gang just have fun.  And yes, that does include you…

Mike… And before you ask, no I am not going to have a gush session over Mike.  He hasn’t EARNED it yet.  I may have accepted Mike’s failures as a decent human being, but that does not mean he is FORGIVEN! It is nice though, and I wish to reiterate that yes.  Inbetween all these skipped over pages, THERE IS GOLD HERE!

Oh that Paulo~ So the set up is paid off as Abbey’s negligence ends up getting him left behind, meanwhile Daisy does accidentally get hurt, which leading to her staying put with Paulo as company while the rest of the gang goes to get Abbey leading to the actual meat of the chapter as Paulo and Daisy sit and talk, thinking about where they are in life and what the future may hold. It’s a really nice and sweet scene… So nice they did it twice but we’re not talking about that. POSITIVITY! So overall this chapter is solid.  On its own, it serves as a great nothing chapter that shows that the kids are alright and looking to a brighter future, although for some it’s not so certain.  If this chapter came out now, one could argue that it’s shipbaiting for Paulo and Daisy, but to me their dialogue came across more as siblings that care about each other, with both seeing the best in the other with a bittersweet tinge of sorrow as they see how they’re both headed on different paths. It’s really nice, but

But I would be remised if I didn’t bring up the one gripe I do have about the Paulo show that this chapter just happened to fall in line with an anecdote I have.  Because, while I was going through my 2 years of illiteracy I did actually take a look at a page just because I heard grumblings over the art style.  And I figured I’d take a glance and see what all the hubbub was about, and it just so happened to be this page! I remember it because, my exact words were, “Wow! This is actually pretty neat!  Y’know the proportions did make the characters’ ages seem a bit older and ambiguous, but this is actually pretty cool!  These proportions, the washed out colors… This is a really good way of artistically showing a flashback without just blatantly using cloud panels!  This is great! Good job Taeshi!” and the old dogs I talked to at the time just went:

And sadly the chibification of characters was the one thing that actually did carry over from The Paulo Show. But… I’m forgetting something aren’t I?  Did you notice there was something missing from that summary?  Oh yeah, TESS!

Despite her technically being in it the whole way through aside from the Paulo and Daisy scene, Tess really didn’t get to stand out here.  Sure, we get a nice heartfelt bit where she says how much she enjoyed just being there with the gang, but all it really does is remind us of the unfulfilled promise that this character gave.  And it makes my heart ache as I knew this was the end for The Rich Girl, the OG Golden Girl, my favorite lie… Tess. For context, Tess was a PIVOTAL supporting character in Volume 1 for BCB.  In fact, a number of great character moments, chapters, and arcs can be traced back to her involvement. From the Christmas Chapter

To setting up the Acapulco Arc!

Her purpose in the toolbox of characters in BCB, was very versatile.  Setting up adventures, new conflicts, and at times, serving as an audience surrogate to ask questions about the other characters’ history and allow exposition naturally.

 She had a spunk to her that made her likable, a complicated history that made her sympathetic, and a perspective on life and drama that set her apart from the rest of the pack. As the oldest member in the group she brought a more mature perspective to a lot of the drama and scenes that the kids would get into, but she also had this childish excitement and eagerness to be involved with the gang.  She wanted to see them grow and help them become better people.  And that falls right into the biggest involvement she had, when she had her relationship…

With Paulo! Serving as a positive force in his life, Tess dating Paulo was a perfect match as two punky kids trying to make it in this cruel world.  And with Tess’ maturity being a great opportunity for her to build him up to follow suit, it was perfect. Absolutely perfect!  Except for one liiiiiittle snag, a small chink in her immaculate armor, and no it wasn’t that she wanted more out of Paulo that he couldn’t understand. You see, Tess was afflicted with a terrible, debilitating disease when she was born into this world.  An awful condition that she had to deal with early in her life… She was a Fan Character.  A death sentence, for most cursed with such a cruel fate.  But she showed so much strength in what she was able to do in those early chapters, that we all hoped that maybe she could beat her condition maybe she had one last trick up her sleeve, one last hurrah, one last adventure, one last send off to carry us through and remember her by… But alas the damage was already done, and in this chapter we see her succumb to the bitter sudden end.

The promise of suspense in Volume 2.  Setting up Tess’ final year with the gang to be a senior year to remember would sadly only lead to her being muscled out in favor of more heavy drama.  Her presence becoming less and less, as she was forced into irrelevance.  From being a powerful force in moving these characters, with deep connections to all them, to being just a shadow of her former self as she would become nothing more than a side-note in Volume 2, and an occasional speedbump in Volume 3. The fact was the fireball, take charge, punk rock girl we all once knew and loved was dead.  She died years ago.  And this chapter just shows…

She was the last to know. 

9/10

Gone but not forgotten;

Replaced, but forever remains

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 83: Small Fry

Oh you were a sneaky bitch for this one Taeshi.  Oh you slippery toad you dirty for this one, hiding one of the most pivotal character moments, and heartfelt scenes in this comic, tucked away in what is on the surface an average run-of-the-mill forgettable nothing chapters, and you hid it pretty well!

Small Fry’s basic premise is that it’s Paulo’s birthday and ya boi is movin’ AND shakin’. He is hyped as hell as he is going to throw his hat in the job market and find what sticks.  The result of which is revealed to us and the rest of the characters by way of…

WAIT HOLY SHIT… TESS?!  WHAT ARE YOU DOIN’ HERE?

Holy hell girl, where ya been?! YO THE OG GOLDEN GIRL IS BACK BABY! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod YES! OH MAN I’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH, LOOK GUYS IT’S TESS! WE FINALLY GET TO TALK ABOUT TESS! OH WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT HER RIGHT N-

N-next chapter! Uhhh Next chapter we will talk about Tess of course! I-I would never ever want to draw attention away from bestest girl in the world Rachel! Especially not to talk about Tess of all characters, no-no-no never! I would not dream of putting a whole 2 paragraph aside about how amazing Tess was in this chapter segment specifically reserved for Rachel ha-ha ha… But for real Tess’ appearance isn’t all that important than as she’s mostly pushed aside and used for setting up Paulo’s new job working in fast food which to be fair…

Is fucking great.  God I love this chapter, I love these jokes, and I love the Paulo show so much.  The scenario in general is just perfectly Paulo.  He’s got a simple entry-level job doing dirty work, and while it is hard and stressful he’s happy, he’s proud and making the most of it.  It’s endearing as hell, and highlights one of the key aspects of his character.  But where does Rachel factor in to this?  Well, it turns out Paulo isn’t just set on improving his employment status but also his driving status.  And it just so happens that the only person willing and able to help him out in this endeavor is…

Rachel! Yes, finally indeed we get to gush about the best girl Rachel.  She’s come a long way from her roots as one of the more annoying and one-note characters in BCB.  Similar to Stacy she was initially pigeon-holed into being a stereotypically bitchy popular cheerleader in Volume 1, and it didn’t help her case when all she ever seemed to be used for was bashing on the OG Golden Girl: Tess. Even after discovering that there was good reason for her to be bitchy about Tess, it was hard to get behind Rachel as a character even though Volume 2 tried hard to sell her as a big side-character it was hard to shake that stigma; not helping matters was her involvement in one of the most controversial chapters in Back and Forth which while set up her crush on Paulo that follows through here, really only solidified the notion that she was a dumb silly slut character with a bit of emotional baggage.  It wasn’t until Volume 3 rolled around that we got our first real sympathetic moment with her in Pillow Talk where she became more of a fleshed out and well-rounded character.

Showing that underneath that ditzy slutty stupid veneer was a great big heart of gold, and actually getting to see the pain Tess caused helped pull sympathy towards this character that a lot of people (myself included) overlooked. She revealed herself to be a character that exuded a lot of heart, and in her own way… maturity. And for every bit of praise I lump onto the Paulo Show, every single part of it is owed to the handling of this one fantastic character.  I didn’t mention it, but the one shining moment in Volume 4 that I honestly can not knock too hard on was Chapter 77 Study Buddy, which set the stage for Rachel to come in as Paulo’s new girlfriend.  In a time in the comic where we weren’t sure what was going to happen, with Lucy being lost and Paulo being a wreck, Rachel stepped in and seamlessly put the comic on her back by being the emotional rock this comic needed.  When everything was falling apart, and all hope was lost, she was the one person to look at these sad sap cats and say,

It'll be okay. And a cynical part of me at the time couldn’t enjoy it for a reason I’ve talked about before in Witch Hunt in reference to Jordan… The more a character is put into the foreground, the more likely it is that they’re going to get hurt.  Rachel could’ve lived happily as a side-character legend among the greats like McCain, and Tess, but what she was doing in getting a relationship with Paulo was putting herself directly in the crosshairs of drama to come in and destroy her, to join the line of bodies that thought they could fix him. Tess tried it and she failed despite being one of the strongest characters in the comic, Jasmine tried but she was too weak of a character and couldn’t elevate herself beyond being a narrative cockwarmer to substitute for Tess.  And while Rachel had all that strong character development, sympathy and relatability, who was to say that the same fate wouldn’t befall her too? It almost seemed inevitable that her relationship with Paulo would end badly, and that she was going to be burned as well so why should we put any emotional investment into this relationship? Why would we ever think that this time it would be different? Well… Because Rachel isn’t like Jasmine, and I’d be damned if I said she was like Tess. The problem with Tess was that she loved Paulo, but she wanted him to change who he was and grow up when he wasn’t ready for that.  Paulo loved Jasmine, but despite him trying to be understanding, changing his behavior, and trying his hardest to be good enough, she just wasn’t ready for the serious relationship she thought she wanted.  Rachel on the other hand… Never asked him to change.  She accepted and loved him for who he was, she knew exactly what he needed.  He didn’t need someone to tell him to change his ways, he didn’t need to bend over backwards to please the person he loved.  All he needed was someone to be there for him, an emotional rock to support him and remind him that he’s worth it.  But what set her apart from all those that came before her. More than her fantastic appearance in Study Buddy… was this scene. Where Rachel teaches Paulo to drive at a drive-in theater, and reality comes bearing down.

In a moment of vulnerability, the weight of Paulo’s feelings come down on him as he recognizes how unfair his relationship with Rachel is.  He realizes that he still loves Lucy and dating Rachel even unofficially is only going to end in pain.  But the thing is…

Rachel understands.  She understood that long before Paulo did.  But it didn’t matter.  She didn’t even mean for their relationship to get serious, she just wanted to help him.  This one moment is what set her apart from every other character in this comic.  She knew she was diving on top of a ticking time bomb.  She knew this relationship wasn’t going to last.  But she didn’t care.  All she ever wanted to do was be there for Paulo.  To help him through the worst period of his life, and show him that he was good enough just the way he was.  She served as a beacon of stability when emotions were high, and everything seemed so chaotic.  This one character rode the ship, and if it wasn’t for her influence in jumping on the grenade and being in a relationship with Paulo… There was no way these chapters would be half as good as they are.  She steered him right, by letting him steer on his own.  She helped rebuild his confidence, after Lucy’s suicide attempt shattered him. If it wasn’t for Rachel, Paulo would’ve been lost.  Probably falling into the extreme of leaning more into his faux playboy persona to fuck the pain away, or resigning to the depression and becoming… well… Mike.  But this one character.  This one moment.  This one relationship.  Saved us all.  Take Heart made me cheer again for BCB.  Local Area made me laugh with BCB… But Small Fry… Rachel… made me care again.  In her, I too felt that it was okay.  That while it may not be safe, I was willing to strap back in. Ignore the bomb under my seat.  And just… Enjoy the ride.

10/10

Thank you for your service, Slut Pup.

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 82: Local Area (The Stacy Chapter)

If you were to tell me years ago that one of the best chapters in BCB would be a fucking commissioned Mike X Stacy chapter, I would’ve said “Man! How bad must the new chapters be for THAT to be the best?” haha and you’d laugh and say, “yes…”

BUT! There’s a good reason why this is a standout chapter even among some of the best of BCB, because it highlights a key thing this series of chapters does that sets it apart from the rest: it expands upon the existing characters we’ve already been introduced to, and fleshes them out.  Not by giving them some deeper character, or dark backstory, but rather by giving them a small new wrinkle for us to sink our teeth into that builds upon the pre-existing notions we’ve had.  And this chapter with Stacy is a perfect example of that idea put to practice, as it’s all centered around Mike and Stacy forced to spend a day together to study.  Which, yes. It’s a bare-bones excuse to have these two together, but credit to Taeshi even though it could’ve easily been phoned in and boring, it actually plays with the characters well and does everything it can to explore these two’s dynamic.

Including having a cute nod to one of the most early chapters and jokes in BCB by poking at the mass of love notes Mike got back in Volume 1! It’s great!

Although, I will say for the longest time I thought that was Amaya, but oh Volume 1 style.  I love you~

But seriously, the chapter really does make you care for Stacy, despite her being one of the weakest characters who’s been bummin’ around since the middle school days. Getting to see her outside of her pairing with Katie THE weakest character still bumming around since the middle school days; allows us to see the character in a different light, thus allowing her to be presented through a more favorable lens and find out things about her that we otherwise would never have known like the fact that…

SHE’S A NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD! Hahaha I love that bit.

But this is the exact thing I was talking about when I described adding a new wrinkle to a character to help flesh them out.  For a character like Stacy who up to this point has been nothing but a one-note background character used as a strawman example of the “mean popular girls” stereotype, giving her a guilty pleasure like playing video games is a GODSEND! It brings new context to a character that most everyone wrote off as one-note and never gave a second-glance at, and makes her more tangentially involved in the story by also having this be a connection she shares with other characters like Susan, Amaya and Abbey in a way that doesn’t feel too forced. Seriously, I can not praise this chapter enough.  It is the gold standard for what a “pointless” chapter can do, and what Taeshi can accomplish in not only crafting a great purely comedic chapter that is ACTUALLY funny, and delivers laughs to the most jaded hearts…

But also, it showcases Taeshi’s ability to expand and develop characters into being likable, enjoyable, and relatable characters in a natural and grounded way.  Without compromising the one-note basis of the character they were, and just tossing it aside like it never happened.

And this is a crucial element to the Paulo show, because Pop Quiz hotshot… There’s someone I’m forgetting isn’t there?  There’s a certain character I neglected to gush over last chapter wasn’t there? Oh I was so wrapped up with all the stuff that happened and that amazing scene in Take Heart, I forgot to talk about the Golden Girl! Well, it was a pretty busy chapter and I did not want to do my girl dirty by having my praises shuffled in among a bunch of other awesome moments.  Not when there is a chapter right here that has her biggest scene and shows exactly what makes her… The best dog in show.  The greatest girl.  My hero. My absolute favorite character in this godforsaken comic… Rachel.

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 81: Take Heart (The Rant Man Returns)

Hey... Hey guys, I know I've been neglecting ya since Tumblr restricted the amount of pics and we had to move to making Youtube videos. But I haven't forgotten you! Thankfully the next rant is going to be on The Paulo Show and it's going to go over EVERY CHAPTER IN VOLUME FIVE! That's right, we're closing the gap of chapters I've reviewed since Happy Hour, and since they all have to be sort-of-mini-rants for each one they should be perfect to share with you! So here, enjoy this little sneak peek at The Paulo Show Rant. Consider it an early Christmas present, and a sincere thanks for sticking with me, or at the very least... Checking in on this old man.

Chapter 82: Take Heart... A drama centered chapter that despite its multiple moving parts including Abbey and Daisy’s relationship being on the rocks, Paulo’s new relationship with Rachel solidifying and getting its first hurdle… somehow this chapter manages to keep it light, and entertaining with lackadaisical humor, thanks in large part to the supporting cast and new characters strutting their stuff and fleshing out this world including…

YA BOI THE BIG HOMO HIMSELF! MMMMMAAAAATTTTTTTT! Oh boy I love Matt, he was the best! Because out of everything, he was just a guy! He was just some friend of Rachel’s that made Paulo jealous, but he was also a person, a character, a nice guy, a likable character who just happened to be gay! And it wasn’t used to force some message onto Paulo about being gay, it wasn’t to shipbait, it wasn’t a key part of him, it was just all he needed to be… Matt! And he doesn’t steal the show, or is marketed to us as “the next best thing!” or “The gay one!”, honestly he plays second fiddle as the B-plot of this chapter which can just be summarized as Paulo going through the whole chapter crying

OH BABY YOUUUU YOU GOT WHAT I NEEEEEEED BUT YOU SAY HE JUST A FRIEND! BUT YOU SAY HE’S JUST A FRIEND, OH BABY- 

Except actually, SURPRISE! He really is just a friend, and in fact he’s gay! Ho ho, silly Paulo your relationship with Rachel is safe~

Abbey and Daisy on the other hand… Not so much. Daisy let slip her feelings about Mike in Happy Hour, and so Abbey decides to break up with Daisy.  Paulo hears about this and consoles Daisy by telling her that this whole thing is fucking stupid and they should just suck it up and be a man woman, but upon seeing how broken up Daisy is about it, he decides to help out, with Daisy offering to also help him by dealing with the B-Plot!

So Paulo decides to cook up a scheme involving…

JASMINE! Hey, Jasmine I hadn’t seen you since

Yeah… y’know I remember now why I hated your character so much and thought you were the worst character in the comic you ungrateful fuckin…

It’s okay. It’s okay. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. We’re being nice today. Positivity. Positivity. Positivity.  So Jasmine ends up relenting and helping Paulo out by using her political pull as school secretary to set up a fundraiser once he reveals that it’s actually for Daisy.   

Making this a sweet little adventure chapter as everyone gets to play a part and help solve a problem, with hijinks ensuing when Daisy’s nervousness to buy Abbey flowers leads to Paulo buying the flowers for her.  I’m skimming over a lot of course because we’ve got plenty to go over and I can’t stop to point every part that I liked, but just know that between all these points there are jokes happening that still make me laugh as I’m writing this out.

One joke that I WILL talk about is the great gag of the plan going awry because

Oh that Paulo~

But this is quickly resolved as Daisy explains that it was supposed to be from her, but Abbey is still dwelling on the past and talking about how he’s unsure about the relationship and that leads to THE SCENE. The Hook. The moment when I knew things were different.  The point where I started believe again! The scene that made me have faith that Paulo really was the guy and would lead us to the brighter future we were yearning for!

No joke, when I read this scene I actually clapped.  I gave a standing fucking ovation because HOLY SHIT YA BOI DID IT! HE CALLED OUT THE BULLSHIT DRAMA DEVELOPING IN FRONT OF HIM! HE’S ME! HE JUST LIKE ME FOR REAALLL! THIS TEEN DON’T GOTTA WORRY ABOUT NO ACNE, CAUSE THIS MOTHAFUCKA IS PROACTIVE! LET’S FUCKIN’ GOOOOOOOO! YEEEAAAAAAH THAT’S RIGHT YOU TELL HIM! And for those of you that don’t get it… let me reel it back for you, and tell you that this whole thing of Abbey breaking up with Daisy because Mike X Daisy was a thing is such bullshit.  First of all, as Paulo said that ship was NEVER going to be a thing.  The last time that Daisy’s crush over Mike was relevant was all the way back in Volume 1! Where it flamed out hard and Mike buried that shit like a dog turd on the lawn.  And abbey should’ve known that, since… well y’know. HE WAS THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED!

But thank FUCK! Paulo takes charge and quashes it right then and there! It’s over! Abbey and Daisy are together again! Paulo figures out Matt’s gay and has nothing to worry about! And everything is going to be okay! The one solid relationship of Abbey X Daisy is solid and we never have to worry about it ever again. [start crying]  And nothing bad will ever come out of this scene it is  ah huh hoo hoo p-positivity. POSITIVITY! POSITIVITY! POSITIVITY!

10/10

Welcome to the Show

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Wait hold on hold on, can this be?

ohhhhh fuck boys. BOYS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!

OH WE BACK!

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 105: Witch Hunt Preamble Ramble

               I have done it.  I have finally read Witch Hunt, and coming off of Fair Game the levels of apathy were at an all time high.  I shoehorned three song references, broke into song, and pulled out two of my greatest reactions jokes ever to keep it interesting just to realize that it was actually pretty shallow.  So coming into Witch Hunt, I just want to say that I was dead serious about this being potentially the end.  If Witch Hunt was another chapter with absolutely nothing to it, then that was it.  I remember when this chapter came out, that sentiment was felt across the fandom.  We were tired of the same old crap, and it was about fucking time that Taeshi actually did something tangible with this story and the characters.  It wasn’t even fun to hate, because the hate became as frivolous as the content on the page.  And I think Taeshi knew that, because she did what she always did.  It seems like once a year, when apathy reaches an all-time high Taeshi comes out in the bottom of the 9th, grabs her bat, and swings twice for the fences to keep us on our toes.  We’ve seen it before.  

In 2015 we had Guest of Honor and Golden Hour which were big chapters for developing Paulo and Daisy’s relationship, and for turning Abbey evil. That was then followed in 2016 by Dial Tone, Table for One, and Clean Slate, which were ultimately pointless trash (although I do still appreciate Dial Tone’s fan service).  And then as we were done with that, and started to get bored Taeshi swings twice for the fences with Model Girlfriend, and Love Again, chapters that reintroduced our main two female love interests for Mike, and of course… everything that was in Love Again…  

In 2017 we were then softened up again with Unspoken Rule, After You, Moments Apart, and PDA.  Which didn’t move the plot anywhere, and what it did change in some character dynamics like with Rachel breaking up with Paulo, it felt rushed or at least underwhelming until Taeshi swung for the fences again with High Expectations (haha I see what you did there) Which set up a lot of conflict but ultimately fell on its face when given the opportunity to actually have any resolution (but at least Abbey’s gone now so that’s a plus).  A terrible swing and a miss, especially since in 2018 Paulo’s argument with Mike would all be immediately thrown away with Mutual Assurance.

But in 2018, we had a bad run with long chapters in not only Mutual Assurance, but Escape Route which was a BCI retread with a TERRIBLE nightmare sequence, It’s All in the Mind which was a recap chapter, and to top it all off, the big homerun chapter for the year was Fair Game… Which while had a great message, and wonderful emotional beats, was ultimately pointless at best, and disgusting at worst.  A big swing, and a big miss.  But as the pattern has shown…

Taeshi tends to swing twice. And I’m not gonna lie… This time she knocked it out of the god damn park.  

 The Rant is Coming... (maybe not on tumblr though, sumbitches wanna restrict me to 10 pictures in a text post and I can’t live like that)

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

EXCUSE ME?!

ARE YOU SERIOUS, HELLSITE?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyuXBiVtZZ4

ARE YOU FUCKING F'REAL SHAKES RIGHT NOW?

THIS IS A BLOG. FOR MAKING BLOG POSTS. HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME? Y'KNOW WHAT? FINE. I GET IT. NO MORE WRITTEN WORDS. no more blogs...

the video will be made...

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 68: December

Hey guys, welcome back.  As you can tell by the title, we have a very special rant in store.  As you guys may know, this rant series is meant to be about me catching up with BCB and where it’s been going recently, and give my thoughts about it.  But today we are going to be doing something a little different, instead we are going to go back.  And I mean WAY back.  To one of if not the most notorious, the most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  That’s right boys and girls…

WARNING: Very long Tumblr breaking rant below the break.

If you’re wondering why I’m doing this, it’s mostly because I wanted to do another Let’s Rant video but most of the boys don’t know about BCB.  So when I made comparisons to December, they didn’t really understand what I was talking about.  And I know that some of you new viewers may not understand why people hate December as much as we do.  To really understand, you must put yourself in the shoes of a dedicated reader.  Back to the year of 2011, a simpler time.  A dark time.  And we start off with one of my personal favorite pages in Bittersweet Candy Bowl.

SNOW.  FUCKING SNOW!

FUCK. YEEEAAAAAAAH! LET’S HEAR IT FOR FUCKING SNNNNNNOOOOOWWWWWWWW!

Alright that may seem like an over reaction, but let me set the stage for you alright, because at the time that this chapter came out I was a dedicated reader.  And I mean full blown fan, waiting for the hour to change to read the pages as they came out.  And at this time, Taeshi was going through a real rough time and it was quite apparent to everyone who was in the community.  The plot seemed to stagnate, and there wasn’t much happening.  Taeshi’s behavior had grown very strained and it was the common consensus that she needed to take a break.  

So she did, and in order to take a break the upload schedule turned to two pages a week… The problem was that up to this point, Bittersweet Candy Bowl was uploading on an every other day upload schedule.  Now the problem that comes when you slow down your schedule like that, is that it’s meant to be temporary, or that you compensate that with content in the pages and chapter that makes the wait more bearable or at least less tedious…

Now with all that in mind. Imagine if you will, that you had to wait 4 days for a new page to start a new chapter, and you were greeted by…

FUCKING SNOW! And a dread filled your heart as you realized you’d have to stare at snow for another full 2 days before you could look at something else, and hope that it’s more interesting than fucking. Snow.

The next page does not disappoint though, because now we actually have characters! And dialogue!

And look a joke, haha! Except

Look at all the characters in this page.  You got Daisy, you got Paulo, you got abbey, you got David, you got sir Noodles, and you got a reinforcing action to remind us about how Abbey and Paulo’s relationship is.

Guess how how many or which of these characters actually matter in this chapter or have an effect on it. Can you guess?

Yup, yeah that’s right none of em.  Not a single fucking one of these characters matter.  Not a single fucking thing in this page fucking matters at all, it barely even constitutes as a set up for the rest of the chapter.  Congratulations, we just wasted a week of your time. Actually I was wrong, you know what the one and only thing that this page does that means anything?

There! That one fucking line.  You waited a whole fucking week to digest two pages and all it really tells you that you didn’t know is what FUCKING TIME IT IS! EXCEPT EVEN THAT IS TOLD TO YOU

BY THE TITLE OF THE FUCKING CHAPTER! I am losing my shit this early because I want to make it abundantly clear just how infuriating this chapter was to read.  This was when I realized we were in for a LONG ride.  To better understand this, the chapters that preceded this one were centered around Lucy’s slow decline into depression, after her friendship with Mike had become fractured leading to her isolating (or at least distancing herself) from Mike (and the rest of the gang by proxy). This chapter was billed to be the culmination of all that fallout, which makes this pacing SO GRATING.

Thankfully page 3 actually does have characters that matter, and it actually is a set up for what the chapter is going to be centered around which is the kids working on a World War 2 Essay.  

And we finally get a bit of substance to sink our teeth into! But before we go any further I should tell you a bit about my. Man. Mike. So Mike is a moody bitch.  I talked a bit about what happened to Lucy, but Mike despite literally NOTHING happening to him directly since then aside from the rest of the gang not understanding why he wanted to separate from Lucy is still being moody and bitchy.  And here we see him reach PEAK MOODY MIKE!

Haha that’s an actually good joke.  I appreciated that when it came out.  

And so, because Mike is being a moody bitch he ends up sealing his fate and is paired with Lucy. And for a second here, I had hope. Since Taeshi is pretty much declaring how frustrating and stupid Mike’s moodiness has been for the past number of chapters.  Also while we’re here, I’d like to point out how everyone in this page apparently got their arm lopped off.  I mean look!

At least Lucy was able to find her right arm at the end there.  But also, look at Abbey!

Oh look at him, you can see how he cares about Mike’s position on distancing from Lucy!  Awww such a good friend.  Oh he’s definitely not going to make a heel turn and accuse others of not caring about Mike!

I am so glad I saved that image.

Anyway the next page is Mike and Lucy deciding to go to the library to work on the essay.

And then the page after that is Lucy trying to make an effort to ease the awkwardness, while Mike gives her the cold shoulder. Congratulations.  We have spent a week, walking to the fucking library.

The monotony is broken up though, as we get to see that Augustus is at this library.

It doesn’t stop the back and forth that we just got in the last two pages from continuing though, and as a reminder this is all that we’ve been given to sustain ourselves for three whole weeks!

At least Augustus is able to break up this feet-dragging by giving us SOMETHING different to talk about.

Ooh look, something actually interesting! We get some insight into Lucy and Augustus’ relationship. For context, Augustus has been a very interesting side-character; one of the best.  And his relationship with Lucy is a pretty nice one with its own complexities and great chemistry.  As I’ve mentioned before, Lucy had spent the last few chapters isolating herself from Mike to try to let things cool off and respect his wishes.  In that time, she ended up finding company in Augustus, the resident bad boy.  He was suspected of attempted rape on Daisy, but we’re not talking about that.

Well maybe a little.

Lucy expresses what she’s dealing with and like before, she’s trying to find understanding from Augustus.

And he is having NONE OF IT! As someone who actually has serious problems, he calls Lucy out for being a privileged blue-eyed white cat whose only problem in life is being rejected by someone she loves.  

But Augustus does give Lucy some advice, in how he sees and deals with his situation.  Showing that while he does think Lucy is stupid for even thinking about killing herself over Mike, he does want to help her.  It’s just…

He’s wrong.  He’s so fucking wrong.

We now know through the power of hindsight, that Abbey and Daisy’s relationship was a total sham! It wasn’t a healthy loving relationship at all! It was all a lie!

GOTTA LOVE THEM RETCONS AMIRITE?!

Nah we haven’t even STARTED to begin.

Anyway, Augustus leaves and we’re back to this bullshit.  Now Mike’s not just being moody, he’s being judgy!

Oh no, fuck you Lucy! I don’t want anything to do with you, I want you to be out of my life!

Hey, what are you doing, talking and having a conversation with someone I don’t care about?  Stop being such a leech! Just because I don’t want you to be in my life, doesn’t mean you can just go and move on to find company in other people!  Why don’t you just die alone and unloved like I tell you to?!

But don’t worry right after, Lucy breaks the ice and gets a smile out of the boy!

It’s a breath of fresh air, and we see the dynamic with the two is still there and-

No, I didn’t buy that when this page came out either. It’s meant to portray that Lucy can make Mike feel better and break him out of his funk, but…yeah at this point I knew better. By the way, it has now been one whole month of December.

And we’re only a third of the way through.

And thankfully we’re out of the library.  And even more fortunately…

Taeshi learned that you don’t have to spend two whole updates on moving your characters from one location to the other!  She’s learned you can smash two pages together and NOT WASTE YOUR AUDIENCE’S FUCKING TIME!

As for the actual content of this page, Lucy and Mike go to Mike’s house and we get a bit of Lucy interacting with Mike’s family, and how they get along well.  Mike’s still moody as ever though, and we get our first glimpse that things aren’t perfect for him.  Also

RIP the boy, Chris. he ain’t dead but I do miss him.

Anyway, the two go to Mike’s room to study, and it’s still awkward until Lucy breaks the silence!

Old joke is old, but I love it nonetheless.

Okay, enough foolin’ around. Actually Lucy decides that she’s tired of pussyfooting around, and decides to say, “fuck it” and let off some steam by playing some video games like old times!

Mike is of course denying it and content in stewing in his anger. But lucy is adamant about doing something to break this stupid cycle of drama.  I like it.  Even though I didn’t buy the bit of Lucy making Mike laugh by showing a funny face, this one I do like.  And while some (especially at the time) would point to this as an example of Lucy emotionally manipulating Mike to get what she wants in making him not angry at her, I would say-

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME HAVE THIS ONE, JUST THIS ONCE!  I HAVE BEEN SO GOD DAMN CONTENT STARVED, THIS FUCKING DRAMA HAS BEEN GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS!  MIKE AND LUCY HAVEN’T TALKED OR ADVANCED THEIR POSITIONS IN MONTHS! LET ME EMBRACE THIS ONE LIGHT IN DARKNESS BEFORE IT IS SNUFFED OUT!  LET. ME. HAVE. HOPE.

THANK YOU!

And so after a bit of a timelapse we get to see Mike and Lucy playing together, and how the turns tabled!

It’s great, and we even get a glimpse at how Lucy has been progressing herself.  Perhaps the improvement in gaming being a metaphor of her own self-improvement.

We even get a bit of Mike reflecting and thinking how it is nice.  And remembering that Lucy isn’t really that bad.

The scene continues, and we get a peek into Mike’s circumstance.  As Mike kind of reveals that he himself has felt quite alone without Lucy there.  And it’s really touching, it’s good character development.

And Lucy continues to take initiative to stop the awkwardness, by giving Mike a distraction. Not looking to fill the hole in his heart, not looking to force him to accept her.  But allowing him to enjoy himself in the moment.  It’s nice.  It’s…

Really…nice…

Y’know…

It really was nice.

Ladies and gentlemen.

This is December.

[redacted due to Tumblr purposes.  insert the entire Mike yelling scene from January here]

One month.   That’s how long this scene lasted in real-time. Everyone who was a fan in 2011, everyone who had been so deeply invested in these characters watching them grow, interact, struggle, and suffer for years.  All of them could only watch for one entire month as Taeshi ripped their hearts out. People defended this scene when it came out.  There’s still people who defend this scene to this day, saying that Mike was right.  I wasn’t one of those people.  When this scene came out, I was shocked.  I couldn’t understand what was going on, but I knew it was wrong.  It was the first time I ever got into a discussion about BCB, because I just had to understand what the fuck was happening and why.  Why is this happening?  Why would Mike do this?  How is this possible?  And the only response I got, was that I just couldn’t understand.  And y’know…

They were right.  I didn’t understand.  I was never really abused as a child.  I never had bad friends, or was really bullied (except one time).  There was no way I could grasp what the fuck just happened.  Which felt so bizarre, because when this chapter came out…I was 15. I was the same age as these characters and I couldn’t fathom doing what Mike just did.  I couldn’t imagine any of my friends saying what Mike just said. And yet everyone else seemed to understand, to the point I thought that I was the weird one.   Did I just fucking win the social lottery or something and just not have any shitty friends?

Maybe so…But y’know after all these years, stewing and thinking about December which has haunted me as I’m sure it has, many other readers.  And after all this time, running it around my head, and arguing about it, I think I finally understand.  I get it…I finally get what Mike’s saying here.

That being said, no this scene is still bullshit.

Now let me tell you why.

First of all, look at this face.

Just look at this dopey doe-eyed cute cat right here, BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER SEE THAT AGAIN.

But just to recap, let’s start with the actual preamble to the bullshit.  Mike gets a text from Sandy which makes him revert back to his moody Mike self.  And I will say at least here, Mike is in character.  He’s been a bitch this whole chapter, and he’s just snapping back to it because he is reminded “Oh yeah, Sandy exists!” so he tells Lucy to beat it.

Lucy is understandably frustrated because we were seeming to finally get to a better place between these two characters.  And instead of Mike being upfront about what his problem is, he chooses to shutdown the conversation and act like there’s nothing.  Or to put it in another way…

So what exactly is causing Mike to revert to his moody mode?

Right, right, of course. It’s because Sandy’s coming!  And just to catch up those of us blessed enough to not remember…

This is Sandy.  Mike’s long time long-distance girlfriend and central conflict for BCB for the last…well for pretty much most of BCB at this point.  Mike loves her, bordering on the point of obsession.  To where most of his actions in BCB can be linked directly to Sandy.  We’ll get to that later, but this is all you really need to know right now.  Just briefly keep it in mind,

Lucy is surprisingly taking it in stride, or at least trying to be supportive of Mike and Sandy’s relationship.  Obviously it does hurt her, but she is trying to make the best of it.  Taking what Augustus had said to heart, in accepting Mike and Sandy’s relationship but still trying to be there for Mike.  Using that to grow and maybe be a stronger person.

But sadly…this is December.

And nothing is allowed to grow in December.

Well…yes.  Partly because we were literally told NINE PAGES AGO!

I believe this is what the kids call…gaslighting. But I prefer to call it

BULLSHIT!

But now we’re getting into it…

Let’s dig into the real hard bullshit of December.

You ready?

I’m ready.

Yes, right.  Lucy is a bitch who has absolutely nothing for Mike, and never acted like a friend, or god forbid did something selfless for Mike like oh I don’t know…

Risking her life to try to save you from drowning, when she herself couldn’t swim and knew it could very well lead to her death.

Or what about when she was almost raped, and put literally put herself between you and danger!

TWICE! Wait, what the hell? They changed Confrontation! She’s supposed to say…

Because before mike got pinned he was saying…

That was like an actually cool and bad ass line.  One of the best moments in BCB, why would you change it?  Why would you change it to something as soft as that? And I’m the guy who wrote a comic where the moral of the story is that you can solve everything through the power of friendship!

But I digress.  Was Lucy mean to Mike?  Yeah.  Did she pick on him a lot in the early chapters? Sure!  But here’s the thing that people seem to forget about those early volumes…

Mike was kind of a little shit back then!

Lucy often picked on Mike because he was doing something wrong like trying to treat her like Sandy.

And lest you forget, Mike was more than capable of doing the exact same things!

Yes Lucy picked on Mike, but Mike also gave shit to Lucy.  They both were active participants in giving shit to one another, but no it’s not bullying.  It’s giving someone shit for doing something stupid, to keep them grounded, it’s a form of support that helps to build someone up not just through violent means, but because you care enough to want them to stop being stupid.  And as the saying goes, “A good friend will hold you and support you to tell you everything will be okay no matter what. Your best friend, will kick you in the side and tell you to stop being a pussy and get over it.”

BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS FUCKING DO! THEY DON’T LIFT YOU UP! THEY MAKE YOU PICK YOURSELF UP! AND Y’KNOW WHY MIKE IS THINKING THIS WAY?  YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING CHERRY ON TOP OF THIS BULLSHIT CAKE IS?!

Sandy…

Mother…Fucking…Sandy. Up to this point Sandy herself had little to no presence as a person in this story. I mean she had an effect on a lot of things, but as an actual character we never got to see much of her personality outside of one standalone chapter: To the Top which only served to give us a shallow and basic understanding of her character.  But even then, as far as actual personality, writing, hobbies, and chemistry we really didn’t get much at all as far as understanding who she is. The only things we knew for certain was that she’s in a long-term long-distance relationship with Mike. She’s a model.  She goes to school.  And she’s beautiful.  That’s it. But that in and of itself doesn’t make Sandy a bad character.  I mean for cryin’ out loud, two my favorite characters that I shoe-horn into all my projects are McCain and Carter.  And they’re the most one-note characters in this comic! No, the problem with Sandy isn’t that we don’t know anything about her.  It’s that despite us knowing nothing about her, Sandy has her fingerprints on almost every fucking conflict in Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  And worse, the only purpose she seems to have on the comic is INFLUENCING MIKE! Let me pull some examples…

Mike and Lucy go on an adventure into the city which fleshes out the inner problems in their relationship.

Because Sandy might be there.

Mike and Lucy are starting to act awkward with each other, and it’s making everyone take notice. Why?

Because Mike is delusional about Sandy.

In the chapter directly after that, Mike is now suddenly obnoxiously happy and giddy, why?

Because he finally got to talk with Sandy!

It’s Christmas time, and Tess is having a party and Mike’s coming, why?

BECAUSE OF FUCKING SANDY!

Mike rebuffs Daisy’s advances during the carnival date…why?

Because of Sandy!

Although, to be fair of course there WAS a lot of other things going on in that scene, primarily Daisy being REALLY pushy, and needy.  So it’s not JUST because of Sandy.  It was because we just weren’t ready for Slut Daisy. The Free Daisy.

Tess is organizing a group vacation trip to Acapulco!

And what’s this? Mike doesn’t want to go? Is it because he thinks Lucy is gonna go and he wants to separate himself from her? Is it because he’s finally woken up and decided to stand up for himself?!

NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT’S BECAUSE OF MOTHER FUCKING SANDY! AND THE WORST PART OF IT ALL, IS THAT NONE OF THESE SCENES ARE EVER DIRECTLY BECAUSE OF SANDY’S ACTIONS AS A PERSON! IT’S LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE SHE EXISTS! YOU COULD MAKE UP ANYTHING ABOUT SANDY, AND SHE WOULD STILL HAVE THE SAME FUCKING IMPACT ON THE STORY THAT SHE HAS HAD UP TO THIS POINT! All that Sandy’s character has been used for is just a means of influencing Mike!

And that’s not a character…that’s a plot device.  

And nothing makes that point more clear…than this scene.

We get a scene where Mike is talking with Sandy, and he shows how over and over, Lucy’s jabs and abuses which were played for laughs in Volume 1 apparently were a super serious problem and we should’ve seen them as such.  Now as a reader, I didn’t buy that for a fucking second, for reasons I’ve already explained.  However, Sandy being on the other side of that long-distance relationship doesn’t fully understand the situation.  But still she’s very worried and concerned for Mike, which leads to this.

Sandy making Mike hate Lucy. Some have pointed out that this is actually a good scene.  Because here we get to see that Sandy at least cares about Mike.  Except that, if you strip away those tears, and all the bullshit.  What little characterization we get here, which is shit we already know in Sandy caring about Mike and Lucy’s relationship.  Is something we should already know.  She’s in a long-term long-distance relationship with Mike SHE FUCKING BETTER CARE ABOUT LUCY! The problem though, is like I said… Sandy isn’t treated like a fucking character.  She’s treated like a fucking plot device! If she were an actual character, we should’ve seen her actually have a back and forth with Mike.  The whole conversation about Lucy should’ve come up a LONG time ago.  Because if she were treated like an actual character with agency…

She would’ve already known this.  

You telling me that after how many phone calls, in the time that elapsed between these phone scenes Mike never actually told her about Lucy; the other biggest part of his life?!  Did Mike never tell her about the amount of times that Lucy almost died to save his life?  Or the amount of times he did the same for her?  No! Because that would bring character growth.  And we don’t want character growth.

We want to push this narrative! We want to implant these thoughts into Mike.  We want him to have  a victim complex so that he can do shit like THIS!

We want to push this plot point.  And Sandy is the vessel to drive it off the cliff. This is why I fucking hate December. Because worst of all THIS…

Is no longer Mike speaking. This is Sandy’s influence speaking. Now LITERALLY ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT MIKE PEDALLED ABOUT NOT WANTING TO BE LUCY’S BABY SITTER AND BULLSHIT, CAN NOW BE ATTRIBUTED TO SANDY INFLUENCING HOW MIKE SEES HIS OWN FRIENDSHIP! And since we don’t have a clear timeframe of where these calls were made, and when exactly Sandy got through to Mike, that means you could pick any time where Mike was being cold or distancing from Lucy and blame it on Sandy! Including…

This scene…

Lest you think characters were the only casualty of December’s nuclear blast, it took with it one of the most emotionally tense and moving chapters of Bittersweet Candy Bowl: A Distance Apart.  

I’ve already talked about this chapter in my rant on Golden Hour (aka December 2: homosexual boogaloo) so I’m not gonna get too into how the perspective of this chapter was changed because of December, but I will say that lines like the above now are specifically what’s tainted because of December.  No longer is this Mike realizing that Lucy isn’t who he thinks she is, or him realizing that their relationship is not a healthy one on his own. It’s because as he said himself!

It’s Sandy’s fault.  Because all she heard about Lucy was the negative, and now all Mike can see is the negative.  And this chapter is saying it’s all Sandy’s fault that Mike now has a victim complex and it’s totally fair for him to say what he’s about to say.  

WAIT! DID YOU JUST SAY…

JANUARY?!

Hah, nah I’m just fuckin’ with ya.  We’re trying to stay focused here, so I’m holding off on the January references. Don’t worry kids, you’re safe for now.

For now…

Let’s unpack this first, because believe it or not we still have a LOT of ground to cover. Specifically, let’s talk about Mike’s glorious plan to leave the table!

God it is taking a lot to not just paste panels from Daisy’s rant in January.  You people have no idea… But to summarize, this is fucking stupid at best and manipulative at worst.  What Mike is talking about, is selfishly pide-pipering their whole friend group (minus Tess because Tess doesn’t exist anymore) away from Lucy, and he’s betting all of that on the fact that he knows Daisy is still head over heels for him.  And what’s absolutely stupid about this fucking idea (which by the way seems to be premeditated so this can’t even be blamed on Sandy) is that if this was Mike’s plan all along.  And December didn’t happen, and he did this table move guess what? Sure.  Daisy follows Mike, Abbey and Paulo follow Daisy, and David follows Paulo…and then they invite Lucy, because in case you forgot SHE’S THEIR FRIEND TOO! (also I just noticed Mike completely forgot about Susan.  That’s kinda fucked up, dude.)

But not as fucked up as this!  Seriously, that’s a fucking low blow.  And so fucking judgy.  I guess we now know where Abbey learned to stoop so low while grand standing on his high horse! And yes I have heard the “muh hormones” and “they’re just KiDs!” excuses.  But none of that really explains…

WHY THE FUCK DOES MIKE CARE?!  DO YOU SERIOUSLY CARE IF LUCY (as you would put it) LEACHES OFF OF PAULO?  HE’S LIKE ONE OF THE TOP OFFENDERS FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY ABUSED YOU! THE MOTHERFUCKER SICCED A GAGGLE OF GIRLS TO BEAT UP ON YOU FOR BEING A “CHEATER”! Or are you worried because if Lucy clings to Paulo, then it ruins your fool-proof plan of going to another table since she’ll follow Paulo?  OH NO, WE’VE FOUND A HOLE IN YOUR INGENIOUS PLAN!  But speaking of worst offenders…

THIS. LINE.  THIS FUCKING LINE!  I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what the fuck you think.  YOU DO NOT COME BACK FROM SAYING THIS.  YOU CAN NOT FUCKING SAY THIS SHIT, AND THEN BE THE GOOD GUY! This is the point where I and many others realized Mike, was too far gone.  And yet SOME PEOPLE WILL STILL ARGUE ABOUT THIS SHIT!

Oh you don’t understand, Amazil! He is just a stupid 16 year old ball of emotions and hormones!  This has been building up THIS ENTIRE TIME! You even pointed out how Mike’s frustrations have been hinted at since the Vacation Arc! Obviously this has been hinted at for years! You’re just too ignorant to understand what Mike’s doing here! Of course he’s being overly cruel here, he feels backed into a corner, and is facing off against his abuser!

Now listen here, you may be right.  I can’t, I hope, and I am grateful that; I don’t fully understand how it feels to be abused for all my life.    But what I do know, is that NO ONE. Child, Teenager, or adult.  Would fucking stoop that fucking low, and think they have any business.  Any chance. Of coming back from that terribly burnt bridge. No one is that fucking ignorant!  WHEN YOU BURN A BRIDGE LIKE THAT, WHEN YOU GO THAT FAR, YOU BETTER FUCKING BE READY TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!  AND MIKE AT THIS POINT, SHOULD KNOW VERY WELL WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES MAY INCLUDE!  AS THE PERSON WHO KNOWS LUCY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE ABOUT LUCY, HE SHOULD BE FULLY FUCKING AWARE WHAT SHE IS GOING TO FUCKING DO WHEN TOLD THAT SHE IS A PARASITE AND THAT NO ONE FUCKING LOVES HER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT SHE WAS GOING TO FUCKING DO, MIKE?!

JESUS CHRIST, HE’S LITERALLY USING HER DEEPEST SECRETS AND HIDDEN INSECURITIES THAT ONLY HE KNOWS ABOUT AGAINST HER! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SUPPORT THIS SHIT?  AND FURTHERMORE, “Like I’m the only one who cares about you.” TO QUOTE YOU LITERALLY A PAGE AGO!

YOU FUCKING TOLD HER THAT NOBODY LOVES HER.  AND THAT SHE’S A FUCKING PARASITE!  HOW ARE YOU THIS FUCKING STUPID!  HOW CAN YOU STILL THINK THAT YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT?  HOW DO OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT?  HOW CAN YOU STOOP SO FUCKING LOW, WHILE GRAND STANDING ON YOUR HIGH HORSE?!

Now, imagine if you will, after 2 whole months of reading December.  You sit there and you wonder what is going to happen now.  What is left to say?  What more is Mike going to do? I mean there’s no way this chapter can get any worse!  There’s NO WAY that Mike can be any more of an asshole.  It’s not possible!  And as if to get one last knife twist out of you.  To kill the last shred of hope you had, that maybe.  Just maybe this could be salvaged, and Mike can’t be worse… Taeshi does this.

….

Y’know, I once heard a story that someone actually killed themselves over BCB.

And I completely believe that.  Two whole months we spent, having to watch week after week as this character we cared about.  Rips apart the other character we’ve spent so much time learning about, growing with, understanding, and learning to love.  And how do you end this chapter?

Grindingly slow.   With Lucy throwing up, then eyeing Mike’s phone.

Followed by a nothing page where Mike’s happy.

Another nothing page where Mike goes to his room.

Dialogue that means nothing.

A whole fucking page of Lucy leaving.

MORE FUCKING SNOW

And one last lie.

And that, kids.  Is the chapter of December.  The most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  And I hope you’re starting to understand why that is the case.  Although, I’m sure a lot of you may have some contentions especially given the newer chapters that have come out.  I mean, I often compare bad or infuriating scenes to December. And many may wonder or feel like those chapters are worse than December.  I mean sure Mike ripping into Lucy is bad…

But what about the one-sided and almost carbon copy of December in Golden Hour?

Or what about Guest of Honor with it’s Abbey Smash?

And what about the second coming of the Carnival Chapter, with its DISGUSTING implications?

Or lest we all forget the wonderous return of Lucy herself, in Love Again!  All of these chapters are fucking terrible in their own right.  And it’s debatable how they ruin some characters worse than December.  But there’s one very important factor that is lost to us now, that makes December in my eyes worse than any other chapter that Taeshi has put out.  One singular thing makes December worse than anything Taeshi has come out with so far…  And what is that factor?

Why, it’s TIME my dear reader.  Time is what sets December apart from every other chapter.  Readers at the time had to spend three whole months waiting for this chapter to end.  We stared at each singular page for days, waiting hours on end, hoping that the next page would somehow be better, or give us an out.  Instead it got worse and worse and worse.  But what also sets it apart from all those other chapters I’ve mentioned is that, unlike Guest of Honor, Golden Hour, or Return to Carnival chapter; December was a very important moment in Bittersweet Candy Bowl. Not only because of how it changed the character, but because it is one of the only times in this fucking comic where the plot actually starts to develop.  And we finally get a clear conflict to grasp onto and focus on.  

In the chapters that came before December, the conflict of Mike and Lucy was just slowly getting worse and worse.  And for the most part it just seemed to stagnate, with Lucy trying to keep her distance from Mike, and Mike constantly giving Lucy the cold shoulder.  And everyone else having to deal with that.  December was meant to be (and it did succeed in becoming) a bombshell chapter.  A big revelation moment where things finally kick into high gear.  Like, “Oh man that was brutal!” “What’s gonna happen now? Sandy is coming!”  “Lucy just got fucking REKT!” “What is she gonna do?”  “Taeshi just dropped the biggest bomb on top of us, where is she gonna take us?  How are we going to follow up this momentum?!”

BY RELEASING ONE OF THE LONGEST.  MOST NEEDLESS CHAPTERS EVER!

FOURTY EIGHT FUCKING PAGES. ALMOST FOUR MONTHS DEDICATED TO A PLOT POINT THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE GIANT NUCLEAR BOMBSHELL THAT WAS JUST DROPPED ON US!  And it’s especially needless because the entire point of this chapter is to tell us that Abbey’s mom died.  Except that WE ALREADY THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD! Oh you mean this character who all we know about was that she in a terribly abusive marriage, who we have not heard from since Abbey was introduced into the comic, who was in such a terrible state that she left her son and daughter orphaned. You mean the person so fucked up, that the last time we saw them was on a fucking stretcher is…DEAD?!  SAY IT AIN’T SO! Y’know, it would’ve actually been more of a twist, and a lot more interesting if we found out ABBEY’S MOM WAS ACTUALLY ALIVE!  

INSTEAD OF BUILDING OFF THE FUCKING MOMENTUM THAT YOU JUST SET UP, WE GET STRUNG ALONG FOR FOURTY EIGHT FUCKING PAGES!  INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON LUCY, AND USING DECEMBER AS A LAUNCHING POINT TO DRIVE THE FUCKING PLOT, ALL OF THE MOMENTUM IS GROUND TO A FUCKING HALT IN SERVICE OF A PLOT POINT THAT ULTIMATELY DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER! And if you made it through that and was hoping, “okay NOW we can start to get into the actual plot! NOW we can focus on Lucy, and what the aftermath of December is!  Well…

Paulo tries to give a cake to Lucy, and he mostly fails, giving us

NOTHING!

Just beautiful! The one chapter where it would be okay to not give all the attention to Mike and Lucy’s relationship.  The one chapter where we could maybe get to see Sandy be a character!  Mike X Lucy is fucked, but maybe we can find comfort in Mike X Sandy!  Maybe we can have some sweet moments, and strengthen this central love triangle that we’ve been dancing around for all these years!  Maybe, just maybe, Sandy can be more than just a fucking plot device!

BUT NOPE! SHE’S JUST THERE TO BE USED SO THAT MIKE CAN REALIZE THAT HE WAS WRONG AND FEEL BAD, SO HE CAN TRY TO MAKE IT UP TO LUCY!  TOO BAD IT’S TOO LATE, SO IF YOU WERE LOOKING TO HAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT EITHER FROM LUCY OR SANDY, I’M SORRY BUT YOU GET

TWO BIG HEAPING SERVINGS OF NOTHING!

AND IF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE STARVING FOR CONTENT BEFORE,  BRACE YOURSELF FOR A ONE-PAGE CHAPTER THAT GIVES YOU

NOTHING!

AND I HOPE YOU FUCKING LIKE THAT ONE-PAGE BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO LOOK AT IT FOR

FOUR

WHOLE

MONTHS!

Although… to be fair, I think during that hiatus period Taeshi had guest comics and exclusive content to keep us occupied, but you get the point. As for the rest of the chapters…

Paulo breaks up with Jasmine in the most hackneyed fucking way possible, and we get a fake-out of Lucy’s suicide attempt.

We finally get the play chapter, and it teases us with the idea that Lucy and Mike are getting better except that no one falls for it because IT’S IN THE PLAY.  AND WE ALL KNOW THAT IT’S JUST AN ACT AND IT’S FUCKING…

And then Lucy finally attempts suicide and it’s all OFF-SCREEN! THEY KILLED OFF THE MAIN CHARACTER! THE ONE FUCKING BIT THAT WE WERE ALL LOOKING FORWARD TO, AND IT’S OFF-SCREEN!

Do you see what I mean now? December isn’t just a fucking chapter. It’s an arc.  The most teeth grindingly slow, and agonizing arc Taeshi ever made!  This is why December is and always will be the absolute fucking worst!  It’s like Taeshi knew what we wanted and refused to deliver! Instead being content with teasing the readers over and over for almost two years, with the prospect of seeing Lucy go through a depression arc. Instead, we’re focused on literally everyone else and all of Lucy’s inner turmoil, heartbreak, thoughts, and progressions are just hinted at and we’re just left in the dark.  We never got to see Lucy in her final moments.  What was she doing? What was she thinking?  Where was she?  How is she doing?  We wouldn’t get that information for

Nearly four years! And even then, IT WAS ALSO BULLSHIT!  December is like a nuclear warhead of a bombshell that was dropped on us, except instead of going off and blowing us away, sending us to the greater plains. It just leaked radiation everywhere and killed us from the inside slowly.   Its carbon footprint can be felt to this very day, we can’t get over December.  Because THE COMIC ITSELF CAN NOT GET OVER DECEMBER! People who wanted to see Lucy become a better person, to see her try to get better, get help, or do SOMETHING! Would never get that relief.  When I thought about December and how it treated its characters.  I felt sorry for all the people who had to read this, who felt for Lucy.  Who wanted to see her get better… I felt bad because I knew deep down that we were never going to get that story…

So I did it myself…

Don’t act surprised. You knew I was gonna go there.  I literally warned you!  There is no way in hell I’m gonna talk about December without bringing up the comic I literally made BECAUSE of December in: January.  And this time we’re looking at January as a whole.  Because now that you know WHY and WHAT I hate about December, you can start to see why January was made the way it was.  I feel the need to explain this, because January still gets a bad rap by people saying that it’s “hate-filled” which it’s not.  January is not a death threat  , nor is it meant to say “I’m better than you”, it’s not a love note to BCB, it’s a Get Well Soon card.  Not necessarily saying that I can do it better, but rather this is what you could’ve done.  Whether or not it’s better is up to you to decide.  And with that context, you can see why January was written the way it was. And it all starts with one simple change.

Instead of just outright removing December, the only thing I changed was that Mike didn’t get paired with Lucy and throw a fit.  It doesn’t spitefully act like December never happened, in fact…

December plays out the exact same way as it did in the canon, just with Susan supplementing for Lucy. So Sandy’s still coming home, Mike’s still pissed at Lucy, and he’s planning on moving to a new table to get away from her. But because Lucy’s not there…

She’s able to fucking do something.

We get to see her try.

We get to see her fail.

We see how Mike’s plan comes to fruition.

We see how things fall apart, even with Lucy’s best efforts.

We see how December still takes its toll.

We get to see her snap out of it, briefly.

We see her at her lowest point.

We see what she’s thinking and why she’s doing what she’s doing.

We see her try to figure out what to do.

We see her picking up the pieces.

We see her take action to improve herself.

We see her getting help.

We see her taking action.

We see her getting better.

We see everyone come together to support her.

We see her at the end of her journey, come to terms with what she’s done.  And wanting to improve not only herself, but her friendship with Mike. She shows maturity, empathy, and most importantly GROWTH as a character.

And in the end, the reader never gets to see how Mike and Lucy end up talking things out, but they can rest easy knowing that everything is going to be okay.  And if THAT’S hate-filled, I don’t know what the fuck you’d call the canon’s handling of Lucy in the December arc.    

The fact that we never got to see Lucy try.

The fact that the comic kept dicking us around, and baiting us with the inevitable.

The fact it KEPT FUCKING BAITING US WITH FALSE HOPE.

The fact we don’t get to even see her at the end of the line. The fact we had to wait three years for her to come back and let us know that she’s even ALIVE!

The fact that when she does comes back, SHE’S A HORRIBLE CUNTY SHELL OF THE PERSON SHE ONCE WAS…

That… is why December is the most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl.  Not just because of what it did.  But because of what it didn’t do.  Because it promised the end to Mike and Lucy’s drama one way or another. It promised us that we were going to tackle these issues that Mike brought up in Lucy, but yet… Here we are.

Back to square fucking one. You know what they say…Those who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it. So you better brush up on your December knowledge, or at least I hope this rant serves as a good refresher. Cause from the looks of it, we’ve been repeating these plot points for almost 10 years…

Y’know I thought I was actually going crazy there for a second.  Obsessing and never getting over December for all these years. But now I see. This comic…never moved on from it. We’ve never recovered.  We’ve been stuck in December for almost 10 years…

0/10 never forget…

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

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[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Hey, thanks for the shout out! If I could come in here, I don't really like to prescribe labels to the characters without presidence from the Canon. However, while I find it more likely that tomboy Lucy is the more likely scenario, and the way that I go with her character. The concept of a genderqueer Lucy isn't something I'd outright disregard.

I will say though, for it to work i think that she needs to do some real soul searching and dig herself out of the problems that surround her right now before she can truly tackle the question of self.

THATS MY GIRL!!! Mike doesn’t deserve you, Luce!

Also, random headcanon time, but genderqueer Lucy?

The COLDEST glare omg Mike wishes he could glare like that. He all pissy for months and mostly he looked like a wet cat (pun intended). Lucy is actually shooting icicles at him and we love to see it.

And I could totally see Genderqueer Lucy! Growing up a tomboy can be a sign of a great many things. 

I spent all day looking for a conversation with Daisy that I SWEAR TO THE GODS happens but I can’t find it XC It was basically Daisy complaining that Lucy gets all the boy’s attention and Lucy countering that she doesn’t even want it. But alas. 

My point there is that being so outwardly pretty and alluring without meaning to might lead Lucy to distance herself from being seen as a girl, and maybe she would explore gender a bit more in general. 

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 103: It’s all in the mind

BAM! Don’t call it a comeback! I’ve been here for years, damn it and we coming in hot.  You thought I was gone didn’t you? You thought it was safe, well not anymore! I’ll be honest, I did actually read this chapter beforehand but for one reason or another I just didn’t make a rant for it as planned.  Mainly because it was such a scattered mess of a chapter. But now that it’s been...

HOLY SHIT A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR AND A HALF.  DISGUSTING, ABSOLUTELY REVOLTING! I can feel my honor fading.  But, now that the time has passed, I’ve been able to get my bearings straight, and forget what I read in this chapter for the most part.  So we can try this again fresh and new!  

 To start, we have Mike and Lucy praciticng Tae Kwon Do.  Which is kind of surprising given…y’know…the whole….

Damn, not only did she recover from that with no lasting damage to her motor skills or body, but she’s managed to maintain a FUCKING BLACK BELT! I mean she’s so powerful and graceful she managed to break the wooden plank cleanly in half!

Just chopped through it like butter while Mike can only watch nervously.

Not that we have much time to spend on that, because we’re immediately thrown outside the dojo, to Mike and Lucy’s moms talking to each other.  

And it’s pretty nice.  We get some good dialogue and a peek into Lucy’s home life, and it’s pretty refreshing to see the adults’ perspective on the drama between our two protagonists.  Honestly, I like this is a great set up for a chapter. Finally we get to see how the family feels, and what they think, or plan to do.  I’m hyped!

Orrrrr Lucy’s mom can be swept aside, because who wants to hear about that stuff right?  Oh man I thought we were going somewhere for a second there.  Ya got me, Taeshi! Did I mention that this is the first three pages?  Because it is.  What is the premise of this chapter?

HEY DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS?

So Lucy walks away from that actually interesting scene premise and bumps into…

THE MEME AMAYA! LET’S GOOOOOO!

I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT IT’S A BLATANT SONIC REFERENCE, AND THAT’S CRINGE!  It’s Sue hanging out with Amaya and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.

This joke on the other hand…

Oh that’s a paddlin’.

Can I just say, I kinda hate these Lucy nicknames.  Like, it just seems weird.  Just call her Lucy for fuck’s sake! At least she didn’t say Luce.  That’s like far too close to a lewd insult for my taste…and yes, I still maintain that Jasmine is a narrative cocksleeve.  Nonetheless, this page is just a nice little aside, with Lucy interacting with Amaya and Sue.  

And hilarity ensues.  Ho ho ho, excuse me for not laughing when last chapter left me feeling

…hollow.

Still this is pretty nice. The girls hanging out, and having fun. Talking about stuff, it kind of reminds me of what I was looking for from Lucy’s return initially (I would’ve liked to have it be more of Sue learning about Lucy, rather than Lucy learning about everyone else.  But ehhh it is what it is, I can’t complain too much.)

It doesn’t take long though for the tone to get serious, and now we finally get into what this chapter’s about!

Yessssss! We get to dig into Susan’s perspective, and we can start to get a better understanding of how the drama has drained and affected other people.  And maybe we can see some insight from Lucy, now that she’s forced to see that her lack of communication, and inaction has brought consequence to other people.  I mean, remember Paulo?

Maybe this chapter we can see Lucy start to understand and get closer with her previous friends. Maybe open up a bit more, and try to talk about her situation, and…

OR WE COULD JUST NOT TALK ABOUT IT! THAT’S FINE TOO, I GUESS! JUST…BRUSH IT ASIDE! THAT’S COOL!

Still, this is a good scene. Finally getting more insight to Sue’s plight and mentality, all very good stuff.

And Lucy shows a bit of heart, consoling her old friend. It’s nice.  It’s all very nice.

So why is she making that face…

Oh, don’t do that… Don’t make this fake character development.  Please, give Lucy a heart.

Well I mean this is nice…but…

It’s all undercut by the fact that it’s a blatant deflection, and Lucy not telling the truth about herself.

YES YES WE GET IT.  WE GOT THE SONIC MEME WITH THE COOL OWL AND THE SKATEBOARD AND THE HOWDY DOODIE FELLOW KIDS.

But anyway,

Susan tries to talk Lucy into joining the table, but she’s not receptive about it and-

Wut?

WHAT THE FUCK? What the fuck is he doing here? I thought this chapter was gonna be about Lucy bonding with Susan, or something nice.  What the heck?  

What the hell is going on in this chapter? So Mike was just choosing to stalk Lucy again after being told of by her before.  And Why the fuck is Susan being the massive cunt in this situation?  She’s trying to be Lucy’s bodyguard and it just comes off being an absolute bitch.  Why is she doing this?

And WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

No seriously, what the fuck is Daisy doing in this scene? What the hell is she going to contribute to this conversation?   Wait…what is this conversation?  WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHAPTER ABOUT?

Haha, funny joke.  Lucy’s a bitch, haha never gets old.  SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

Well now I get to start hating Lucy AND Susan’s characterizations! It’s a twofer! But at least we’re getting some insight to Daisy’s thoughts on Abbey now.

She wants everything to be alright, and cares about everyone getting along.  But- HEY WAIT A SECOND!

WHY THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS?! WE’RE ONLY 13 PAGES INTO THIS CHAPTER AND WE’VE BEEN GIVEN HALF-LIP SERVICE TO THREE DIFFERENT TALKING POINTS! WE STARTED AT THE DOJO, WITH THE PARENTS TALKING ABOUT MIKE AND LUCY’S RELATIONSHIP, AND THEN WE BUMPED INTO SUSAN AND GOT TO TALKING ABOUT HER THOUGHTS ABOUT MIKE AND LUCY’S RELATIONSHIP, THEN MIKE COMES IN OUT OF NOWHERE, AND NOW DAISY’S EXPOUSING ABOUT HER FEELINGS ON ABBEY! MEANWHILE, ALL I CAN THINK OF IS WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING HERE? WHAT IS THIS CHAPTER SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT? WHAT IS THE CENTER OF THIS?  WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS?!

Oh…

Oh you motherfucker.

THAT’S WHAT THIS WHOLE FUCKING CHAPTER WAS ABOUT?!  THAT’S THE CENTRAL FUCKING TALKING POINT OF THIS CHAPTER? ARE YOU FUCKING F’REAL SHAKES RIGHT NOW?! SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT…

You started with Mike and Lucy going to Tae Kwon Do so she could walk away from Mike and her family to go home…

So that she could be outside and randomly bump into Susan…

So that she can point out the FUCKING MIKE YOU PULLED OUT OF YOUR ASS…

So that you could then bring in the even more ham-fistedly forced Daisy into this scene...

ALL SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE LUCY NONCHALANTLY TELL EVERYONE THAT AUGUSTUS IS STAYING WITH HER?! IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE FUCKING TELLING ME?!  THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST CONTRIVED BULLSHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN YOU PULL OUT OF YOUR ASS, AND THAT IS SAYING A LOT!

What the fuck is this conversation? Why the fuck are they talking like this?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHAPTER?!

This is a very serious conversation.  About a very serious topic, that can have nuance and give a deeper understanding to these characters’ feelings,

But it’s undercut by stupid jokes that just paint Daisy as a fucking idiot, who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.  

It’s abundantly clear which side we’re supposed to be on here, but as I said before it undercuts Daisy’s character.  It makes her seem like the attention-whore that she was made out to be in the earlier chapters.  

Like, look at this. She’s full envious bitch-mode right now! She was stalking Mike a minute ago, and it all just undercuts what could be a very serious character moment for Daisy, and you know what?  

I just realized why it took me so long to do this rant. At the time where I was initially going to write this rant, I noticed that we were about to hit a crossroad.  

Because this was right at the time when False Idol was having the Augustus talk between Daisy and Lucy (and before you mention it, I would like to note that this scene was planned far ahead of time and it was not influenced by the canon chapter) but if you’ll allow me to pride myself, I wanted to mention what False Idol did right about this talk.  And why I have such a problem with how the Canon has portrayed this scenario. So let’s take a moment to talk about False Idol, because this scene in particular is one of those scenes that I put a lot of thought and effort into, to do it right.

First of all, it doesn’t start with Lucy just flatly saying that she’s been seeing Augustus.  It’s Daisy taking the initiative and talking with Lucy to get information on Agustus.

And much like in the canon, Lucy is very apprehensive (and rightly so) about Daisy pining over Augustus. But unlike in this chapter, Lucy isn’t being judgmental and controlling, telling Daisy that she’s an idiot for wanting Augustus.  She’s bewildered, because why the fuck WOULD Daisy want augustus?  He almost raped her in the comic…but there’s a twist…

We as readers (or at least those of us who had gotten a sneak peek at the BCI exclusive Another Chance when it was published) know, Augustus actually wasn’t going to rape Daisy.  This was the twist and lynchpin for this entire scene in False Idol.  And how, Daisy’s pining for Augustus isn’t that outrageous.

The truth is, Daisy didn’t really know what Augustus was going to do.  She may assume that he was going to have sex with her, and of course Abbey would reinforce that Augustus was trying to rape her.  But now that she’s away from Abbey, and able to think for herself she may look at the situation in a different light. She starts questioning what really happened at the carnival and thinking it may not have been that bad.

But even though she doubts that it was what it was, she still recognizes that it’s not a good idea, and thus looks to confirm it with Lucy who is the only other person who has been around Augustus.  

But just like in the canon, Lucy is still very against Daisy going after Augustus.  Even if he’s not a rapist, he’s not a good person.  

The difference being that Daisy’s argument shows us she’s not stupid and gives a better understanding about her feelings, and what exactly makes Augustus special to her.  He made her feel like no one else did, not even Mike.

It’s clear that Daisy’s want of Augustus isn’t just surface level attention-seeking.  She wants to feel special.  She wants to feel more than loved, she wants to feel confident, and the truth is there was only really one person in her life that made her feel free.

But it’s still reinforced that going after Augustus is a bad choice, much like how it is in the canon. However, there’s a part of this argument that the canon completely misses out on.

Slut Daisy, is a Free Daisy. Everyone has looked down on her as a child who needs to be protected, Abbey coddled her, Paulo wouldn’t touch her, Mike doesn’t want her like that, and she’s forced to watch everyone else have their own relationships and drama, get to make their own choices and mistakes while she gets to watch on the sidelines.

Daisy’s argument isn’t just about wanting to go after Augustus because he makes her feel good, or because she wants the attention that he provides.  It’s about her wanting the freedom, the confidence, and the ability to act for herself.  Because the alternative is being left wondering what could’ve been when it’s too late.  A lesson that Lucy knows, all too well.

Daisy can be a very complex and interesting character.  Yes, she is an attention whore, she’s needy, she’s naïve, but she’s smart.  And to downplay or just push those traits aside and label them as just blatantly bad and not something that can be built upon, or used to grow this character into something more.  Something stronger, better, but still DaIsy.    The problem here though is, that that’s not what the canon is interested in.  The canon doesn’t want Daisy to evolve to slut Daisy the free Daisy, or if so it wants it to be a clear black and white bad thing.  But I digress, because that’s not what this argument in the canon is about.

No this isn’t about Daisy…

No… this is about Lucy.

Oh my god, she finally showed some emotion! This is what we’re gonna talk about.  We’re gonna have her open up and talk about her feelings, and…

Say nothing…

Alright, I’m not heartless. I understand what’s going on, and what the implication is.  About Lucy equating her abuse to Daisy’s and not wanting her to go through the same things that she did.  It’s understandable, and I feel sorry for the character.  The problem is, the way this is structured by having Lucy just go back to controlling Daisy after Lucy’s outburst and go back to being cold, and composing herself in one page makes this statement feel…wrong.  It feels too cold, almost like the outburst was only used to forward the point Lucy was trying to make.  It feels…emotionally manipulative.  Not just on the part of Lucy, but on the part of Taeshi as a writer.  She can’t be wrong, because Lucy’s a victim.  There’s no argument for Daisy to go after Augustus, because Lucy knows more about it.  There’s no growth, we just get a peek at the inner turmoil and damage that trauma has caused Lucy, and the conversation is ground to a complete halt.

There’s nothing to say, there’s nothing changed.

And the last three pages are spent just watching these characters we ham-fisted into this scene just to watch them leave.

Oh and Sandy’s not talking to Mike.  There we go.

But that’s the end of this chapter.  It’s All in the Mind, and my god… It’s hard to talk about this chapter because it brings up Lucy’s trauma to the forefront again, which is always a difficult topic. But let’s not forget that this is a fucking convoluted chapter.  We spent the whole first half of this chapter so that we could force characters into place, and yell at them for a two page outburst.  There’s a number of interesting conversations that it brings up, but it doesn’t spend any time working through them, and the one talking point that it does bring up is just a one-sided “my problems outweigh yours” argument, and that’s all that is accomplished.  You could’ve done so much more with the characters, I mean for fuck’s sake Mike LITERALLY DIDN’T NEED TO BE HERE!  The only reason he’s in this scene, is so that Lucy can tell Mike he’s worse than Augustus! It’s just dicking us around, and then punching you in the gut out of nowhere so that this chapter can seem like it has a point.

But it doesn’t.

We as readers are quite aware of how Lucy’s trauma is affecting her, especially given how that was literally right before this chapter.  It’s just catching the rest of the gang up on that, in fact…

Didn’t we start this chapter with the adults catching up on what’s been going on?

And then the whole conversation with Susan catching Lucy up on what’s been going on?

Not to mention, we earlier had the jab to point out old traits like Lucy’s deaf ear.

And Daisy’s old attention-whore ways 

AND WE LITERALLY STARTED OFF WITH THE KIDS PRACTICING TAE KWON DO, RECAPPING AN OLD PLOT POINT THAT PEOPLE DIDN’T REMEMBER.

4/10 It brings up a lot, but it doesn’t seem to do anything with it.

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 102: Escape Route

So… I have a confession to make.  

I actually read this chapter weeks ago, when I had those few missed updates a while ago. And since reading it, I find myself for the first time ever since doing this rant series…lost for words.  

I know! 

And I don’t mean that to say this chapter is confusing, or aggravating, or too good to talk shit about, it’s just…empty. Which is weird, given that on paper there’s some juicy elements to talk about.  In fact, I was initially pretty excited to go into this chapter given that this is the chapter that gave us:

So how the hell can I say there’s nothing to talk about? Well, it’s all in the summary.  The chapter starts with the panel I presented in the beginning, where Lucy establishes that it’s Augustus’ birthday.  There’s a bit of back and forth which is cute, but it’s all just fluff to get us to…

A retcon of that one chapter where Lucy tried to ride the bus with Augustus!  Except instead of being kicked off the bus for bus hopping, she instead gets to stay.  Now that might seem like a semi-interesting concept, but it’s really not and it’s evident in the chapter.  It’s basically just this

Lucy sees the place that Augustus lives in, and what it’s like in the inner city, and a glimpse into his home life. She’s culture shocked, and ends up sleeping over, where she has

THE DREAM

but then we snap back to reality and nothing is really changed.  I’m glossing over a lot here, but the thing is, while reading this chapter I felt oddly underwhelmed.  It felt like I already knew everything that would happen in this chapter.  Which might be chalked up to me being spoiled about the Alejandro dream when this chapter initially came out, but then again I’m no stranger to spoilers.  And in fact, a lot of times spoilers lead to more interest from me, because I want to know how we got to those big moments, and a lot of times there’s things that were missed while everyone was focused on that big moment which is where a lot of my rants get their material from.  A good example of this, being the carnival.

I knew about this line and the implications when it came out, but it didn’t spoil it for me. There were plenty of surprises and criticisms to throw outside of this one boneheaded moment.  There was more than just this one scene to make me perk up and dive into, such as Lacey’s behavior following this confession.  But here?

Outside of the alleyway nightmare sequence, there’s nothing to dig into.  Which baffles me so much I’ve had to sit and stew on what the fuck to even talk about for weeks!  Because there SHOULD be something to talk about here, there’s a new event going on, a return to form of having an alternate take on a previous situation. You’d think, as someone who basically started their artistic comeback doing that exact same thing I’d have more to talk about here, but I’m kinda stumped.  What do I talk about?

Oh, we see that Augustus lives in poverty and has bad parents? Yeah, we already knew that!  

Well okay, we may have known that but maybe this is about showing that Lucy knows that now too, and it’s showing her come to this revelation! Which that might be true, except for the fact that

WE ALREADY KNOW LUCY KNOWS THIS SHIT, WHEN AUGUSTUS TOLD HER!

But what about Alejandro? Maybe this chapter is meant to be a refresher to the audience to remind us that Alejandro’s a threat, except that’s even weaker because his existence as a real threat, was already reestablished THE SAME CHAPTER LUCY CAME BACK IN!  

Any information to be gathered from this chapter is either surface level shit, or just stuff that every reader already knows about.  And what makes this even worse is the fact that THIS WAS A FUCKING REDRAW OF A BCI EXCLUSIVE COMIC!  

So anyone who actually read that, and paid money to see that exclusive storyline was rewarded by having to wait at least TEN FUCKING WEEKS to read the same fucking shit they read before! And yes, I am going to talk about the BCI exclusive, because it made me kind of excited to dive into this chapter knowing that I could double dip, by comparing the BCI exclusive version to the canon version.  And it would’ve been a moral dilemma for me to show you this, because I do respect Taeshi’s private art and not showing what she may not want to show.  And I would feel bad about showing something that people paid money to exclusively see… if it weren’t for the fact that IT IS A COMPLETE PANEL-BY-PANEL CARBON COPY OF THE FUCKING EXCLUSIVE!  I COULD SHOW YOU THE ENTIRE FUCKING BCI COMIC, AND IT WOULDN’T MATTER AT ALL, BECAUSE IF YOU’VE READ THIS CHAPTER YOU’VE ALREADY READ THE FUCKING EXCLUSIVE SO IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER!  

“But wait!” you might be saying, “That’s not entirely true.  Taeshi redrew the pages, and changed bits of the dialogue!”  And you know what?  You’re right!  She did, let’s talk about that shall we?

These are the only things she changed, just dialogue tweaks.  And you might be thinking, “Okay I see what you mean.  These are all just minor changes, that really don’t deviate in any substantial way to the chapter’s story.” Except… if you pair this with the other thing that wasn’t in the BCI exclusive, it’s quite clear what these little changes really insinuate, and what they mean.  Because, you know what wasn’t in the BCI exclusive?

This scene and yes the entire dream sequence, which I haven’t touched too much on wasn’t in the BCI exclusive.  It was created solely for the canon adaptation and if pair this with the minor dialogue changes I specifically brought up, you’ll see why they’re actually significant..  

First of all, I just need to point this out because I saw it, and now you can’t unsee it either.

Lucy’s going full owl head here.  These guys must be freaks to hit on someone doing the fucking exorcist full neck turn. But don’t let the owl head distract you, bear in mind that those five panels I showed from the BCI was the entire exchange and reaction between Lucy and these creeps.  However, in the canon…

It actually lingers on a bit more, we see the guys’ faces and them leering at Lucy, it has more implications outside of a simple cat-calling (no pun intended).  It’s more focus on Lucy trying to act tough and stifle her fears.  

But this change really shows what the changes are really trying to get at here.  The original line insinuates more than violence, but could mean death.  Whereas the change to “He’d be more than excited to know you came way out here.” Is pretty clear in its implication.  And this implication is indicative of what this chapter is really trying to establish. And the implication is…

THE R-WORD. And no, I don’t mean THAT R-Word you assholes; I mean the R-word that gets brought up whenever you talk about Augustus x Daisy, the R-Word that is tied to Alejandro, the R-Word that is brought up to excuse Lucy’s change in character, the R-Word I refrained from using in the carnival chapter because I don’t want to talk about that...  I’m talking about…

Rape. 

You wanna know what the whole purpose of this chapter is about?  If you break away all the needless information that we already know about Augustus, the only thing to take away from this chapter and its dream within a flashback…is that Lucy was almost raped… it has traumatized her, and she need serious help.   And after realizing that, and the fact that the entire trip is pointless in giving the reader anything new to chew on, I can’t even give a thought to the rest of that dream sequence, as it’s just that Lucy distrusts her friends and feels isolated.  Even if I talk about that, and what interesting things to gather from it there may be, I know it doesn’t matter because it’s a fucking DREAM WITHIN A FLASHBACK!  And if we look at this chapter and break it down to brass tacks, all this chapter tries to accomplish is trying to make us sympathize with Lucy by bringing up the absolute worst fucking thing imaginable.  And it just so happens that this is during after we’ve seen Lucy do some messed up shit to her former friends. Perhaps this chapter is meant to make us feel pity for Lucy, and let that pity excuse the bullshit she’s done.  But pulling out the rape card?  That’s fucking low.  This chapter aside from the rapey bits, is just numbing.  Like I said, everything that this scenario could’ve dived into or revealed were revealed and reinforced already.  And I remember when this chapter was coming out, even us shitposters and loving haters were fucking bored to tears, counting the fucking days for this chapter to end. But I know what some might say,

“You’re being unfair, Lt! Of course you know this stuff, you’re a fanatic!  This is a refresher for everyone, because they may not remember the stuff with Alejandro! They may not be so well versed, and you yourself even complained how there were minor things you forgot about in the canon that needed to be reminded to you!” and you know what?

Ya might be right there, pally.  You might be right, the dedicated fanbase probably could use a refresher on the threat of Alejandro, I mean who’s gonna remember that plot point from all the way back in Volume 1?  Except that like I stated in the beginning of this rant...

THE THREAT OF ALEJANDRO AND THE EFFECT HE HAS ON LUCY AND AUGUSTUS WAS ALREADY RE-ESTABLISHED SEVEN CHAPTERS AGO!  HIS INFLUENCE IS EVER PRESENT WITH AUGUSTUS!

“But that’s seven chapters ago! In real time, that was like a year difference.  You can’t just expect readers to remember that!” Well maybe you’re right, maybe you’re right.  But wait!

AREN’T YOU THE SAME PEOPLE WHO TELL ME AND MANY OTHER READERS THAT THIS COMIC IS MEANT TO BE READ IN BINGE FORM?!  WHERE IT’S CHAPTER BY CHAPTER!   BUT NOW YOU WANNA GIVE A BREAK TO THE ADDICTS WAITING WITH BAITED BREATH DAY ON END FOR AN UPDATE!?  WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT?!  

 sigh...

In closing… This chapter above all else, and I’m surprised to say this…  Is utterly pointless.  It’s nothing but shock value, meant to reinforce the fucked up part of BCB and these characters.  It gives us nothing new, and it’s a chapter that I feel is just a waste of time.  We already knew the things it brings up, and what we didn’t know, we could easily infer.  Not to mention that its placement before December, muddles the motivation of Lucy’s suicide attempt if not exposes a missed opportunity because it would’ve been a lot more interesting and moving to have Lucy think about her friends outside of Mike before jumping, and we see there that she has that mistrust in them.  But nope, that’s not what we get and this chapter does absolutely nothing except tell the audience, “Hey!  Lucy was almost raped and it’s fucked up!  We didn’t take the time to explore this, and establish her feelings before (even in times after this flashback supposedly takes place) so we’re going to bring it up now!  And it’s a flashback so we can say it was there the entire time!  But in reality, we just didn’t want to dive into it back then, but we’re gonna bring it back in now!”  And hey, why not recycle an entire storyline that you did before and change next to nothing.  Because that’s super creative.  

I give this chapter a hollow 2/10 I’ll give it an extra point because the nightmare sequence was actually well done.  I liked Taeshi’s use of vertical paneling and experimenting with the webcomic style in that way, and it was done very effectively.  However, that doesn’t change that fact that it was nothing but shallow shock value in my eyes.

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 101: Mutual Assurance

Mutual Assurance? More like Mutually Assured Destruction amirite!?  Ahahaha get ready cause that is probably the only joke I’m gonna be able to make in this chapter (if you can even call this 6 page intermission a chapter).  So don’t worry kids.

This’ll be quick.

So Paulo after hearing Daisy mention Lucy and not being there confronts Mike after school and gives him a big hug, and a cry, and tells him that he’s sorry.  He tells Mike it’s his fault that Mike lashed out at him, and apologizes which Mike accepts.  Afterwards, Paulo says something that reminds us of Model Girlfriend and

Bip bap bam, look at this lamb that’s all folks!  

That’s the entire chapter summary!  That was less than 100 words to summarize.  The fucking summary is shorter than my fucking foreword for this review.  I would’ve just skipped over this like the Jordan studying for the SATs intermission, except this is counted as a chapter so I HAVE to fucking review it.  As a chapter it’s supposed to matter, and I guess it does.  It’s just a slap-dashed way to wipe away the bad shit Mike did in the previous chapter and make us feel sorry for him again, and make it look like he and Paulo’s broship is still a thing that sails strong and we’re supposed to care.  

But my problem isn’t with that necessarily.  I mean, yeah I don’t like that this pretty much just absolves Mike of wrong doing in the last chapter even though he fucking head desked Paulo.  But hey, that’s par for the course at this point.  The only surprise is that Taeshi didn’t string this along longer to make us stew in the bullshit for a minute.  So I guess that’s nice, but the real bone to pick I have with this scene is that this apology and repentance comes after Paulo did what? Take Mike’s phone for a second so he’d talk about his problems in a healthy manner, and told Mike how it is to shake him out of his mood?  But y’know why this apology really happened?  It’s in the first panel.

It’s because Daisy reminded Paulo that they’d been neglecting Mike’s problems in the past.  Which is fair enough.  But the whole reason Paulo did what he did in that chapter was because Mike was being a passive aggressive little shit, who didn’t want to talk about or think about his own problems instead opting to make it everyone else’s problem. So Paulo asking for forgiveness here makes it seem (especially to Mike) that Paulo was in the wrong for telling Mike off and taking his phone away for a second.  And thus excuses Mike’s over the top response in slamming Paulo’s head into the table.  Now do I think Mike shouldn’t get any support or get an apology for the way his friends had neglected him before?  No, of course not!  I think that this could’ve been a nice little end piece to a different chapter.  Maybe in response to a situation where Paulo really went too far and hurt Mike, like ohhhh I dunno, maybe

HERE?!  WHERE HE FUCKING CHOKED MIKE AND COULD’VE SNAPPED HIS NECK?! Why didn’t Paulo apologize for this stunt, where he was clearly in the wrong and really did go too far?  Oh, it’s because last chapter we hated Mike, and the other characters hated Mike.  So we gotta smooth that out, because we can’t have people hate Mike too much, so we gotta excuse him for what he did.  See?  Paulo feels bad for neglecting him and hurting him before, don’t you feel bad now because you also didn’t care about Mike when he was being a little shit?  Oh look, they’re both so happy now! Except that this basically renders all the character progression Mike had during that chapter in talking with Sue and her telling him that he needs to hear, to talk about his problems, and him keeping it to himself is causing a clear divide between him and his friends.  

This chapter basically renders 1/3 of that chapter pointless in its progression.  And given how one of the other thirds of things that happened in that chapter was Jasmine dealing with Abbey, which we can all probably guess as to how important that’s going to be.  The only thing that is making it out of that chapter with any hope of continuing to the future chapters to be used in progressing these characters’ development, is Lucy realizing the hurt she’s caused to not only Paulo but her old friends as well.  So maybe there’s hope in that turning into something fruitful…

And I’m going to pause here for all you future folks’ cynical laughter.  

All in all, it seems the only thing to really get out of this chapter is this

I can’t even say anything about it affecting Paulo to be more concerned and caring towards Mike, because his character was already progressing in that way.  This was literally a feel bad for Mike chapter, especially cause I have seen a future scene in Chapter 106 which was just finished, and I KNOW Mike isn’t going to take Paulo’s support well enough to actually deal with his problems.  So yeah.

1/10 Mike was right, and that’s just wrong.

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 100: High Expectations

Alright, this time for real. We’re going to be diving into Chapter 100: High Expectations.  Which is fairly ironic given how my sources on the recent chapters actually didn’t have much to say about this chapter.  Which hasn’t been an actual thing since Chapter 96: Unspoken Rule. So contrary to the title of the chapter, I actually have no real expectations going into this thing, which means this is either going to be really boring and uninteresting, or…

Taeshi can do what Taeshi does best.

In either case, we start with the now ever-present Moody Mike.  Upset about his burnt to atomic ashes relationship with Lucy, his completely absent shell of a relationship with Sandy and more.  Actually now that I think about it, that’s something I haven’t really gotten into with these rants.  NEW MIKE! I guess I never felt the need to since Moody Mike has been a mainstay for a while long before these recent chapters, and it seems that for the most part the chapters seemed to be more focused on Paulo, Daisy, Abbey, and occasionally Mike.  And in the chapters where it was centered more around him, there wasn’t much to really comment on with his behavior as it was just Mike being Mike. And often times he’d be skirted off in lieu of shit and characters we actually cared about. Speaking of which,

Daisy nabs Paulo a chocolate pudding from the cafeteria, and I honestly love Paulo in this scene.  It feels like his character in the dialogue, although I will say I have no idea what public school serves shit like this.  I know my high school never had any dessert of any kind. The closest thing to that, would be either stuff you bought from clubs doing sales, or strawberry milk or if you were lucky vanilla milk.  If you switched that pudding for strawberry milk motherfucker, I would actually be Paulo in this situation.  For a highschool teen that shit was the bomb.  Oh and Mike’s being a grouch but who gives a shit.

Of course this leads to some ship baiting between Paulo and Daisy, but I don’t have any problems with it. I think it’s cute, and all but of course

It comes with a bit of stipulation…Hey Abbey did Sue’s actual words of wisdom sink in?  Did you listen?

Guess not.  Oh well, I guess we’re just being reminded that yes Abbey does still resent Paulo, and Paulo is still scared of Abbey.  Anyway, what’s this chapter really about?  Are we going to finally get into Mike’s problem with Sandy?

D’awww look at that.  That is just precious.

Awwww, she thinks she’s an actual character!  Cute, but seriously what’s this chapter about?

Oh, we’re actually staying on this subject?  Fuck, alright then. Let’s go Abbey, tell us again about how you feel like we haven’t heard it before.  I’m sure even though Susan hasn’t gotten through to you, and neither has Daisy, I’m sure that Jasmine will be the one to finally reach you! (also, I just realized that hand is a bit too detailed for the style now that I’m looking at it, it’s like it’s someone else’s hand there it’s so jarring)

Yes, Abbey.  Because everyone else is able to build their opinions based on contextual knowledge about both Paulo and Daisy, and are able to have empathy for both parties and see the good and the flaws in Paulo to realize that he’s not that bad of a person, and people who want to say that he’s nothing but a selfish womanizing idiot either don’t understand the nuance of his character, or are purposefully ignoring the actual good of his character not only in recent chapters with his pussification, but also his supportive and defensive nature towards loved ones in earlier volumes.

Well holy shit, Jasmine color me surprised.  You said something in-line to building your character!  It’s almost as if, you having been in a relationship with Paulo understand that he’s more than what others like Abbey see in him!  He’s more than just a flirt, he’s not that fucking bad.  IN FACT!

I am legitimately happy about Jasmine’s character in this scene.  She’s putting her foot down, she’s showing how supporting she can be, but also holding to her own strong morals.  Abbey on the other hand is still acting like a little bitch boy who’s upset he can’t have it his way.

Then you’re what?

I would’ve gone with “hypocrite” but all very good answers. I’m very proud of all of you.

Trying to force your loved ones to turn their back on someone they also care about, and making the situation worse by judging them for making their own decisions on who they hang out with on the other hand… Yeah that’s kind of a bad thing to do.  Especially since, I…

Don’t actually remember much about Abbey ever really supporting Daisy in what she does…  Like we’re hammered over the head about how Daisy is helping Abbey, going to therapy, taking his side, going to bat for him. But I’m not sure about Abbey doing similar for her.  Like, when did Abbey go to Daisy’s cheer meets?  Or try to get himself involved with things she loves?  I mean, did Abbey even know that Daisy was interested in that author dude at the convention?  Did Abbey ever take notice to what Daisy wants?  Did he ever really shush out her insecurities about feeling unattractive outside of just being there?  

I just realized, there’s a question we’ve been missing this entire time…Was Abbey ever really a good boyfriend for Daisy? Huh…I may have to think about this one.

Anyway, Jasmine talks some sense into the boy, and like I said she shows how she can be supportive and understanding.  And also

Yeeeaah… Uhhh…  I really want to get into that “breakup” but I feel that’d be too long of an aside.  Imma just put it on the backburner and let you finish.

But yeah, Jasmine ends up making a good case for Paulo, and I find it very nice honestly!  It’s a very good reprive from the bullshit anger she had towards Paulo back in the Garbage Pick Up chapter.  It is kind of wishy washy how she goes back to being like “Oh yeah, Paulo’s not a bad person and doesn’t deserve so much hatred.” After how she badmouthed him before, but that badmouthing in itself was bullshit so it kind of counters out and I’ll take it if it means that Jasmine can be her own fucking person with her own fucking opinions based on her own experience now.  Although she still retains a bit of her cocksleeve status, as Abbey accepts this and it seems that NOW he’s starting to get the message.  I guess he has no choice, if he gives Jasmine the same treatment as Susan, or Daisy of disregarding their advice he’d be shit out of luck.  This is the last character who somewhat matters that isn’t in a relationship, Abbey.  Don’t fuck it up.  And before you say Rachel is available now, FUCK YOU SHE DOES NOT DESERVE THAT.  SHE DESERVES BETTER THAN ABBEY.

Anyway, we’re back to the actually important characters and Paulo is freaking out.   Which y’know, is pretty understandable given how Abbey’s lashing out was pretty unprompted and out of nowhere.  So it would make sense for Paulo to think the same would happen. But apparently, Moody Mike is not having it and is insistent on making this chapter about him.  

Oh my god are we doing this? Oh shit, are we trading victim cards here?  First of all, Mike your victim card doesn’t work with that statement because as far as I remember, Lucy never attacked you out of fucking nowhere when you were just hanging out with your friend and doing them a favor.  It was usually because you were being a little annoying prick.  But more importantly, just fucking stop with that okay?  This isn’t fucking Yu-Gi-Oh, you shouldn’t use your fucking victim card as a fucking excuse for being an uncaring asshole to your friends’ problems.  Which is especially infuriating given how when Paulo was assaulted,

You were the first person who showed actual genuine concern for Paulo after being assaulted.  And it seemed you continued to do so, with your friendship with him being strengthened and finding common ground!  But oh, nope can’t have that because now you’re having a bad time and oh no Sandy’s not giving you attention, so you need to be bitchy to everyone else so they can give you attention.  Oh boy!  Mike, I have noticed how I’ve been very light on you in these recent chapters.  So thank you.  Thank you for giving me this opportunity to finally show some o dat good ol’ Mike hate!

And it seems that this turn of character is not lost on Paulo too!  And I gotta say, I hate how Paulo had been turned to a more passive character.  But oh my god, this shit right here.  

Mwah, that’s the good shit. Oh Paulo, you absolute mad lad I applaud you in actually making valid points towards Mike and calling him out for his bullshit.  

Things start to get heated, as Paulo snatches Mike’s phone to get his attention so he can finally talk about what the fuck his problem is.  And oh man, that fucking burn.  OOF damn Paulo you are savage.  However, Mike brings up a good counterpoint.

Jesus Christ, Mike you were not kidding!  And to top it off, Mike’s using his fucking levitation powers to bring the smackdown too! He’s not even standing on a chair or anything, this man is going full Carrie mode!

Anyway, Mike storms away from the table and… I just realized something again.  Weren’t Rachel, Madison, Jess and Matt also at the table? Wouldn’t they have a few things to say about this situation? (actually now that I think about it I don’t think I’d like to hear Madison chime in with her usual demeanor on this situation) but for real where are they?  We set that up in Table for One, but I just realized it’s never actually been utilized for anything.  Did they just leave after Paulo and Rachel broke up?  What a pointless plot point, that only lasted for one day.  Anyway, at least we’re getting into what this chapter’s actually about I guess…What is this chapter about?

Oh shit, are we getting a resurgence of Sue?!  Between this and the birthday party, Sue is finally being the character she’s supposed to be!  Praise be! And look!

She’s showing off her character!  She cares, she’s trying to be proactive, she’s being a fucking character again! Yes!  These are good talking points!  Work it out!  Give me more!

Oh you blue balling piece of shit.  How dare you deny me the rare Good Sue.  Fine then, we’ll focus on Paulo, what’s he doing now?

Running away in a panic, alright then… I’m glad I’m missing out on an actual straight talk between a sensible Sue and Moody Mike for this.  Whatever, where are you going with this?

Okay, he passes by Abbey who is seemingly happier now with his new friends.  An obvious punch to make Paulo feel guilty about Abbey.  Whatever, we’re not focusing on that.  Where are we going?  Is Paulo going to the nurse or something?  Actually, y’know what?  Where are the student aids?  Like, when I went to high school I remember you couldn’t pass two halls without bumping into an adult student aid who was watching the kids for this kind of shit. Where are the student aids?  Or the On-Campus-Officers?  Was my rinky dink coconut public high school somehow more well-equipped than this high school that apparently can serve DESSERT in the cafeteria?! Where the adults in this situation?!  Where the hell are we going?!

Oh…shit…

Oh no…

OH! OH NOW WE’RE CONTINUING WITH SUE AND MIKE?!  NOW WE’RE DOING THIS SHIT?  WHY?! WHY ARE YOU DOING IT LIKE THIS?! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST FOCUS ON ONE FUCKING THING, YOU WERE DOING SO WELL BEFORE! Oh whatever, if I bitch about the pacing here now we’ll never get out of here.  At least Sue is talking sense, and trying to actually be proactive and figure out what’s wrong.  And I like how it doesn’t take long for her to deduce the problem too.

BAM! OBLIGATORY JANUARY REFERENCE! GET IT IN THERE BABY! WE BEEN LONG OVERDUE!

Anyway, Sue is actually trying to piece things together to try and solve this problem, but Moody Mike has evolved into Defensive December Mike!  The worst Mike of all.  Deflecting and lashing out at everyone else, screaming at people in order fix his problems by not dealing with his problems at all.  Digging into the past bullshit to excuse what’s going on now, guilt tripping people by using the actions he let them get away with as leverage.  This is the sort of Mike that made people hate Mike.

Luckily, Sue just walks away in an honestly pretty somber moment.  Poor Sue, actually trying to help for once but always being shot down and disregarded.  But as Mike lashes out at her again, she drops the mic saying one final thing for Mike to simmer on.

Oh wait, no that was the mic drop from January for Mike.  Where Daisy tells Mike that his negligence towards his own problems has caused a clear divide that can not be tolerated anymore and is driving everyone away. And how it’s unfair for him to force upon his friends to deal with and solve his problems for him.  But for real, what’s the actual ending?

Oop!  Wait, sorry nope that was me again channeling January.  What Sue actually says is!

Well that’s…underwhelming.

Seriously?  “You’re so unpleasant”?  “I can’t let you talk to me this way”?  That’s it?!  That’s all you have to say?  Come on, you were doing so well with Sue in this scene.  All jokes aside, I actually liked her appearance here! I appreciated this scene!  But this is the fucking mic drop?!  This is what Sue says to Mike after getting yelled at, and realizing that he’s gone too far for her to help?  Come on, you can do better than that Taeshi! Anyway, let’s check in on Paulo and Lucy I guess.

Oh boy, look!

See guys?  It’s just like Lacey predicted!  Everyone is so judgy and hating her just because she’s hanging out with Augustus!  See? Lucy was right, an-

I don’t want to hurt anymore… Please stop.

Well I guess we’re not done with the melodrama and shouting, but I will say that Paulo is making sense here. He’s not just deflecting or arguing that this is about something else, like Mike.  

However, it seems that this comic only allows for one person per scene to have a braincell and Paulo is hogging it all.  While Lacey is still being her cold and uncaring self.  Paulo here, while seeming to be the clear aggressor is very clear at least for why he is upset and making good points. Lucy on the other hand is taking the Mike approach and…

Deflecting the problem by making it seem about how it’s Paulo’s problem and not hers anymore because she is wiping her hands clean of her past relationships.  Sure.  Alright guy.

At least Paulo is retaining his one brain cell to see through this bullshit, and call out the problem! Y’know… LIKE HOW HE USED TO BE!  AND HOW HE SHOULD’VE BEEN!  NOT WANTING TO LEAVE A PROBLEM ALONE WHEN HE SEES IT, AND TRY TO ARGUE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!  

But of course, Lacey is Lacey, and Lacey doesn’t care because why should she?  She never cared about Paulo or anyone else’s feelings since her return, and has only done things for her own self interest because that’s her character now I guess.  Whatever. Y’know…if you told me three years ago that in three years I’d end up hating and bashing on Lucy more than Mike…I won’t say I wouldn’t believe you, because I’m cynical enough to believe any bullshit you tell me about what happens in the future of this comic.  But I don’t think I would have been able to take this bullshit.

But in either case, Lucy’s uncaring attitude is starting to make Paulo breakdown, and I find myself siding with Paulo a bit.  I mean, yes she fucking does owe them some fucking answers, or a cursory status update. But of by the end of this page of course it goes back to the shipping which is of course the main purpose of almost all conflicts in BCB.  And we’re reminded again of the carnival chapter when…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

OH GOD!  I PICTURED IT AGAIN!  IT WON’T FUCKIGN LEAVE!  NO! STOP! PLEASE STOP FUCKING BRINGING THAT SHIT UP!  IT DIDN’T HAPPEN IT DIDN’T HAPPEN IT DIDN’T HAPPEN IT’S NOT CANON NOT CANON NOT CANON NOT CANON NOT CANON!

I am right there with you Paulo…

Why does Ms. Vera torture us like this?  Why can’t she just write a main character who is likeable, healthy, and stable, who makes sense?  Why must she tease us with this false idol of a character whom we once loved, cared about, and worshipped?  Were we not good enough?  Have we not suffered enough?  Where did we go wrong?

But finally, finally, Lacey shows some fucking remorse in seeing how her absence, and actions have affected the ones she cared about, as Paulo slinks away a sobbing mess.

Leaving Lacey to stand there, looking at the damage she has done and silently reevaluate where she stands in all of this.  A powerful scene that plants the seed for what should be inner turmoil in Lacey’s character that will no doubt follow her in the future…

Okay, that’s the last fake out I promise.  But for real, the first time I read this scene this ending felt weird.  Like, Paulo slinking away saying “Fuck it, I get it. It’s a lost cause, nevermind you obviously don’t care about how I or anyone feels.” is a very strong note, but it gets undercut by these last two almost pitifully spiteful panels.  It’s like the same problem I had with the previous scene, in that the ending is not as strong as the rest of the scene deserved it to be.  

But even though that is a strong enough note to end on, we are not done yet it seems as Daisy meets up with Paulo again to talk about what just happened.  The subject ends up turning back to Lucy, and Augustus but…

Paulo doesn’t tell Daisy about her hanging out with Augustus.  I guess to save face, and not upset her but honestly I don’t care enough about this to dig too deep.  There’s been 3 big scenes I’ve had to talk about here already, I don’t have the mind to care about this either.  

But anyway, the chapter ends with Paulo denouncing the false prophet Lucy and again setting sail on that Paulo X Daisy ship.   And that is the end.

So all in all, this chapter for what it is, is at least seemingly progressing these conflicts by bringing them to the forefront once more.  We’re again acknowledging Mike’s unstable relationship with Sandy, which has now reached a boiling point.  Lacey has finally had someone stand up and call her out for her flippant and cold nature. And Abbey has seemingly found a new home and is choosing to side with Jasmine to not let Paulo bother him so much.

Now the real question is: Will any of these progressions come up soon, or make a real difference in these characters for the better?

I give this chapter a 4/10. I would go lower, but it has promise and there were good points brought up.  I’d go higher, but it falls on its face at the end a few too many times.  We’ll just have to wait and see where it goes.

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Character Re-imagined: Sandy

Well kids, we’re still doing our time for artist hiatus crimes so let’s move on to the next chapter! Chapter 100: High Expectatio-

OH FUCK RIGHT, I’M SO SORRY I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT YOU SANDY!  I SWEAR!

Okay, for those who haven’t dug too into this rant series.  A while back, I did a half-rant on the chapter Model Girlfriend, which of course was the chapter where Sandy came back to Roseville for a day.  I ended up not really finishing it because I found most of the talking points that I’d use, and the complaints I had with the chapter, weren’t necessarily with the chapter itself as much as it was with the characterization of Sandy.  And my problem with the characterization was more to do with how I wrote Sandy in comparison to how the canon wrote her.  And simply saying that my problem with a character was that she wasn’t how I wrote her just isn’t a fair critique by any measure.  And no matter what people may think about the rants, the one thing I don’t want the rants to be perceived as, is unfair.  

So I decided that I would do something similar to what I had done before, which was a Character Revisited which was for Paulo.  Where I talked about Paulo’s characterization before Boy Toy and how much of a difference was done to his personality, and demeanor in the recent chapters specifically Table for One (Actually, is it still technically “recent” if these chapters are 3 years old? Man this shit is long).  Anyway, I wanted to something similar for Sandy but be more of a Character Reimagined, talking about what I ended up having to do with the character and how I wrote them for January and False Idol.  It was SUPPOSED to be after the Pit Stop but I kind of forgot about it, and uhh…

I got distracted.  But nonetheless, we’re here now so let’s dive right into it.  This is Sandy Re-imagined.

So if we’re going to talk about my Sandy, and her development as a character we of course have to start with January, and January’s take on Just Beautiful.  And if you don’t know what January is, I’m not going to get too into it but it’s essentially my fancomic which is a faithful (as possible…) alternate take of the whole January arc, following the timeline from December to Happy Hour. And at its rough and rebellious beginnings, it was very run and gun in terms of writing.  I didn’t care as much about building characters outside of setting scenes, and focusing on Lucy and Susan…until…

I had to do Just Beautiful. A chapter that I hated, featuring a character that I hated, that was centered around a ship I didn’t care about, and had little effect on what was happening in the story aside from just making Mike remorseful, because of…

Yeeeah back then, I figured out that Sandy is more of a plot device, than an actual character (an opinion that still holds water today, and I swear to god I will get to that chapter). So I really did not care about her, or give her character any thought until I had to do this segment for January. Because, I cornered myself to do the chapter and realized something… “Hey, fuckface!  You’re a writer!  You don’t think this is interesting or fun?  Then just make it interesting and fun for you!” Sandy is such a blank slate of a character that I could kind of do anything I wanted for her outside of what’s established, and since there wasn’t much established it meant I had to…

Get creative! The first part of writing Sandy was tackling the issues I had with her character in comic, specifically how little we know of her personality, how she interacts not only with Mike, but with people outside of her relationship.  How does she take to adversity, how does she tackles problems, what problems does she face, how do they conflict with her relationship, and how does her relationship clash with that? And in January I couldn’t really dive too deep into that, especially because the story isn’t about her; it’s about Lucy.  But I wanted to at least give something, or hint at that with her little scene just to show that there is at least something there.  But more importantly, I wanted to establish one very key feature about Sandy. Something that I felt the comic left out, and it seems will never come true.

Sandy feels the distance too.  If you look at the scene in January, this is the one bit of dialogue (except on bit at the end) between Mike and Sandy that isn’t directly from the canon to stick to the canon.  And It is the main part of Sandy that I keep at her core because it is one of the one things we knew about Sandy which is that she loves Mike (aaaaand then Model Girlfriend came along and threw a wrench into that…) but at least for me this is what makes up Sandy.  And since we’re talking about Sandy as a character I am going to spoil False Idol quite a bit, because False Idol is essentially a story about finding out about Sandy.  Who she is, what her life is like, and how Mike plays into that.  But one of the main things about Sandy, that I changed about her is brought up in this one bit in January.

Sandy doesn’t tell anyone about Mike.  The more I thought about how little we know about Sandy as a person, the more I thought about how little Mike knows about Sandy as a person.  Which helped to expand her character more as a person.  Looking at Model Girlfriend the whole idea of “Mike really doesn’t know Sandy as a person” was realized…but taken to a more bitter end. Whereas I still held onto the idea of Sandy really loving Mike, but she doesn’t share that with anyone.  She keeps her romantic life separated from her co-workers and classmates, which is also touched on in False Idol.

And more importantly, it goes both ways.  In this way, there’s a lot more intrigue and options in Sandy’s character.  Why is she keeping Mike a secret?  Why did Sam have to steal Sandy’s phone to find this out? Is she ashamed of people knowing Mike’s her boyfriend or is there something more?  And Why haven’t we heard anything about these guys?  And the answer is something I won’t tell you, because that’d be too much of a spoiler, but what I will say is, that at her core the main statement I want to define Sandy is this: Sandy loves Mike.  She loves him as much as Mike loves her. BUT when creating a character, and understanding a character there is one big factor to consider which I found the most fun in writing Sandy and what elevated her into a character that I found myself very engrossed in as a writer.  To the point where even after 3 years I am still dedicated to writing her story in False Idol!  And the one thing to always remember is that no matter what as strong, complex, or emotional your character is.  They are only as interesting as the environment you put them in.  That’s why if you look at the Just Beautiful scene in January, the first time we see Sandy say anything, before she sees Mike; the first interaction we see to give us an idea of how she is outside of Mike is her talking to her best friend.

Sam!  Who has grown on me like an aggressive tumor, and will probably be the death of me.  The big part about writing Sandy and trying to make this character more interesting was building the environment around her.  Brainstorming ideas, and thinking about what her life is like outside of Mike. There is a joke song I wish to make someday parodying Avenue Q and BCB, called There is Life Outside of Your Plot Line, and that’s basically what I wanted to explore with Sandy.  Specifically her and the models.  It’d be easy to assume that the modeling business is cutthroat, and her coworkers are bitchy people, and it’s so taxing, and she hates it, and all that jazz.  But I wanted to take it in a different direction where her work environment isn’t actually that bad.  Her co-workers are nice and down to earth people, with their own personalities and viewpoints.  The first model to get expanded on like this of course being Sam, and her dynamic with Sandy.  This is where of course False Idol comes in and brings out that world more. To give us a better understanding of the kind of people that Sandy hangs around with. But in order to flesh that out I’d need more than Sam which is why in False Idol!

We get a slew of new characters!  In order: Charlie Hartman, Daniel “Dan” Mercado, Samantha “Sam” Cartwright, Ashley “Ash” Clements, Alice McCarthy, and Jason “Jay” Cartwright.  Oh and sadly I couldn’t fit him in here, but I would be doing my man a disservice by not mentioning him,

Tyrone the lovable meathead beefcake!  The only one who I didn’t make a last name for.  Because he doesn’t need it.  He’s just Tyrone.  Although I can only take half-credit for him, because he’s more of a shared joke between me and a friend that we both had a lot of fun working on.  All of these characters help to build the setting and world that Sandy lives in, with their own different personalities.  Sam being a spunky, rebellious, and surprisingly mature scamp; Alice being a very prideful, conceited, yet down to earth, and caring person; Ash being a grounded soft, cute, but hardened and smart girl.  All of the characters help to give us an idea of not only Sandy, but an idea of what she deals with and the people she associates with.  And one important thing about these characters, is the fact that I deliberately wrote it to where not one of these characters were assholes.  I didn’t want to fall into the trapping of having Sandy’s life outside of Mike be some like horrible mean world and Mike’s her only escape, or make it where “Oh little did we know that Sandy’s suffering from this one HORRIBLE MESSED UP THING! SO NOW YOU HAVE TO FEEL BAD FOR HER AND SYMPATHIZE WITH HER OR ELSE YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” No, I wanted Sandy to have a fairly average life.  So if you were thinking False Idol was gonna do some fucked up heel-turn like “OH BOY, LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT SANDY IS ACTUALLY A DRUG ADDICT AND WHORED HERSELF OUT TO GET THE JOB!” I’m sorry that’s not happening…Actually, fuck you I’m not sorry because that’s fucked up I’m not going there.  AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF TAESHI DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT WHERE IT TURNS OUT OH NO, SANDY HAD SOME FUCKED UP SHIT GOING ON WE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT AND NOW WE ARE FORCED TO FEEL SAD!  I am going to be fucking fuming mad.

The main thing I wanted to do when writing Sandy, given how little we know about her and the setting she is in.  Is to show this setting she’s in and give us an idea of what her life was like.  I wrote Sandy and False Idol, in a way where you can look at her and the characters that surround her and feel like there was another comic going on at the same time.  And we’re just coming in after they’ve gone through their own different mini story arcs and this is some big moment in their story too.  I mean imagine if Mike suddenly went missing, running away from home and then Sandy comes to Roseville to get answers.  And then she learns more about everyone, and all the stuff Mike’s been through…

Actually that’d be pretty damn cool honestly.  Damn. Taeshi should steal that.  That would be fucking awesome and turn this ship around quick…sigh…if only.  Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is this.

Sandy is a character that I hated.  She was a character that I did not care about at all, and didn’t think anything of.  I saw her in the comic as a plot device and nothing more.  But with creative thinking, care, and love for the comic I reinvented her to be more than that.  To be a good character in her own right.  With her own message, with her own story to tell.  And I believe she has the potential to be just that.  To be more than what she is.  I didn’t want her to be a lie, or a complete fake of what Mike thought she was.  I wanted her to be nice, caring, wholesome, naïve, mature, a little selfish, sneaky, clever, but full of love and surrounded by love and support.   She loves her friends, she loves Mike, she loves her job.

And to see her in canon I just…

I feel disappointed to see her as nothing but a plot device to stab the reader in the gut with and make them feel bad.  I wish she was more.  More than an enigma, more than a bitch, more than another person to make Mike feel bad. Sandy could’ve been better.  She could’ve been so much better.  And I just wish Taeshi did better.  

As someone I looked up to, as someone who inspired me… I wish she’d be better than me.