#growing through adversity

[absinthemindedly]

Patron saint of dandelions that grow through cracks in the sidewalk

the patron saint of worms that died on concrete

[sisterdragonwithfeathers]

All the books I am reading are about love thriving in extraordinary circumstances

That’s great, I love that

My circumstances are ordinary, though

[la-pheacienne]

I'm reading the lord of the rings and I'm once again amazed at how... good most characters are. Like, they are genuinely good people. They are a bunch of kindhearted, gracious, caring people, coming together under adverse circumstances and trying to figure things out and find a solution and support each other through it all. Like Frodo and Sam meet Faramir and Faramir is a bit suspicious at first and kind of implies Frodo may be a spy, and then when he hears his story and he's like Frodo, I pressed you so hard at first. Forgive me! It was unwise in such an hour and place. And this blows.my.mind. He wasn't even particularly mean or threatening to him in the beginning, he's just such a kind, considerate man, recognizing the kindness and honesty of another man. And they're all like that. Even Gollum starts slowly changing (for a short while) when he encounters Frodo because that's the thing about kindness and humility and grace, they are contagious. They transform people, even a creature like Gollum cannot be immune to that. Like, you may consider all this simple and basic and I get it but, hear me out. It is quite rare to see that in modern media and it is also pretty difficult to pull off in a way that is not corny and simplistic. It is mind blowing that you actually don't have to present the entire palette of human cruelty and vice in order to tell a compelling story, contrary to popular belief. Lotr does the exact opposite, and it is just beautiful and it warms my heart. Especially taking into consideration tolkien's pretty grim growing-up experience, him being a double orphan without a home, raised between an orphanage and a priest and having no family apart from his brother and then the war and then he almost dies and then he's poor as hell and then a second war and it all makes sense somehow. He writes to his wife who is also an orphan two days before the marriage "the next few years will bring us joy and content and love and sweetness such as could not be if we hadn't first been two homeless children and had found one another after long waiting" and, yes, yes! The love and sweetness just radiate from his work, the entire lotr series is a little radiant bubble of hope and love and grace that he imagined in his head to deal with a dismal reality and then he just gave that to the world, and isn't that what imagination and art is all about after all?

[dearjewels22]

[perfectlyoongi]

HUSBAND!NAMJOON who writes you a song as a marriage proposal. as intelligent as Namjoon could be, when he was nervous it was difficult for him to express himself verbally and he knew perfectly well that in that request he would run over every word and choke on them; that's why Namjoon decided to open his soul in the most natural way for him: the song was small, brief, just a verse and a chorus, but every word was beautiful, peppered with the love he felt, ringing with a melody of hope from an eternal future by your side. “i’m not very good with words, i hope the song is enough for you.”

HUSBAND!NAMJOON who hires a painter to portray your special day. yes, photographs were beautiful, faster, saving every moment and action they could; but, for Namjoon, there was magic on a canvas, in how each brushstroke was like a fragment of your dreams and hopes, the vivid colors complementing each other and appearing as an omen for your married life. “i think a portrait of us is more intimate. i think it’s with oil paints that you can clearly see our love and happiness.”

HUSBAND!NAMJOON who writes your initials in the corners of his music sheets. Namjoon felt like it was nonsense, a small, insignificant and quite embarrassing detail, but, in a way, he couldn't stop himself from doing it; like a lucky charm, your initials decorated the various pages with a touch of magic, as if the letters designated for you blessed Namjoon's mind and all his work. “i know it doesn't make much sense, but i feel like it really helps me. at least it always gives me strength when i see your initials in my art.”

HUSBAND!NAMJOON who gives you a bouquet of flowers every monday, even when he's on tour. Namjoon wanted to make sure you had a good week, he wanted to motivate you to get through five more days of intense work and complex people; so, he came up with a simple solution that, in addition to filling your living room with sweet smells of passion and longing, also brought with it bright colors that painted the gray days that could lie ahead. “i hope you have a good day today. don't forget that the world only makes sense because you are in it. i love you.”

HUSBAND!NAMJOON who goes on sunset walks with you. if when you were dating the two of you shared the sunrise on a bicycle, now in your marriage your attention has turned to the sunset, as if a natural representation of your love — at sunrise your love was still blooming, but now, already together with promises and vows of eternity, your love was based on a sea of reds and oranges that forever warmed your hearts. “i feel so complete with you. i still can't believe we're actually married. you just make my life better.”

HUSBAND!NAMJOON who takes you on surprise dates. it wasn't because you were married that Namjoon was going to stop dating you; without telling you, or simply spontaneously, Namjoon would take you to dinners or aquarium, ceramics classes or evening picnics, the possibilities seemed endless and Namjoon swore to you that he would explore each one of them with you. “just because we’re married doesn’t mean the romance is over. i hope you know that i will take you on dates even if we are eighty and use canes.”

HUSBAND!NAMJOON who swore an eternity of love for you. in any adversity, Namjoon promised you that your love would not weaken; in any opportunity, Namjoon promised you that your love would only grow; in any future, Namjoon promised you that your love would never end, for you were chosen by the stars, blessed by the gods — there was nothing that could ruin your love. “the dust of the universe are crumbs of our love that could not fit into our hearts in this life.”

[theleotarot]

How Your Person Of Interest Sees/Thinks/Feels About You

Choose the image you are most drawn to or resonate most with… pile 1, pile 2, & pile 3 ✨

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Pile 1

(Knight of Pentacles, Nine of Pentacles, Three of Wands, Knight of Swords, The Unknown Card, Three of Swords, Mentor, Plane, & Thriving)

Hi Pile 1! Welcome to your reading. ♡

Your person of interest sees you as someone who is very hardworking in all areas of your life. Perhaps, right now you are pursuing a degree or job, or maybe you are working towards a goal that requires lots of resilience and financial responsibility. Your person sees you very successful as well. I am also getting this energy that they may think you are above them in some way, whether it be financially, emotionally, or mentally. I really think they do look up to you in every way regardless if you feel like you are struggling yourself or you feel like you can do better. They see you as someone who is very helpful to other people and the community. Your job or every day work may involve with interacting and helping people out, and this is confirmation that this is your pile! They might find you very funny and young at heart as well. I'm getting that some of you may not think you're funny, but your person definitely thinks that you are. I'm getting that you may be the type of person to also laugh things off when you feel scared or hurt, it's kind of like a coping mechanism, only for some. Besides that though, I really do think your person sees you as someone who radiates bright energy and that's why people and even animals enjoy being around you. Not only they see you as bright energy, but they also see you as someone who attracts very much positive things into your life, again, abundance, school, work, you name it. What your person thinks about you is that you have a huge future ahead of you, and you have the ability to achieve your goals if you just go for it. I believe that they also think that you are very good with your words. Again, I keep getting this energy from your person of interest that they do not think they are as good as you. Honestly, I feel like they are intimidated by your potential and success. I believe that your person is going through something difficult or heartbreaking. It may be because of a separation, insecurities, or any kind of past trauma, but it is unknown. I think that this difficulty they are facing has an affect on how they feel about you. I do think that their feelings for you are developing though. I think that this person just cannot show your their full interest or attention because they need to focus on themselves more. Even though they are facing their own difficulties, I do believe you cross their mind, and their feelings for you have potential in growing into something bigger within time. Overall, I feel like your person sees you as a light in their life. They really look up to your for your positivity and ambitions. I think that once they get their life together and feel better about themselves, their feelings for you will escalate and they will start to show how they truly feel.

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Pile 2

(Ten of Wands, Ten of Cups, The Fool, King of Wands, Eight of Swords, The Magician, Shape-Shifter, Flowers, & Transformation)

Hi Pile 2! Welcome to your reading. ♡

Okay pile 2, before I start your reading, I just want to say that this is the sweetest pile. 🥺 Okay let's carry on. Your person sees you as someone who carries or has carried a lot of baggage on themselves. Perhaps, you have struggled financially or educationally, or you have really struggled with your family or friend relationships. I also get this energy from you that part of your baggage has something to do with the fact that you always put others as a priority rather than yourself. You are always sacrificing yourself, even if it costs you your happiness. Even though you've been through so much emotional baggage, you continue to persevere through adversity, and your person of interest definitely sees this about you. They see how hard your life has been, yet you find the power to proceed with your life, and they find this absolutely inspiring about you. It's like, you have the choice to stay in despair and yearn for a better life, but you choose the opposite and make changes to your life to be happy instead. Your person sees that you have amazing grit and can also adapt to your environment, whether it be difficult or easy. They might also see you as someone who is very emotional and someone who wants to have their own family and children in the future. They can see you feminine as well. The way that your person sees you is very warm and precious. There are lots of pink and purple in your reading pile 2, so this means that your person sees you very delicate and they are really romantically connected with you too. I think they think you are confident in your actions as well, and whatever risks or actions you take, you are able to go through with it. I think your person thinks you're very playful as well. Even though sometimes you may feel stressed or upset about certain things in your life, your person knows that inside of you, at the very core of you, you are actually a very warm, delicate, loving, affectionate, and playful individual. I think that they believe that you deserve the best, pile 2, especially since you've gone through so much. They also think of you as a flower. Not only are they beautiful and delicate, but they're also a product of growth and transformation. Your person not only sees you for your beauty but for also all your hard work, tenacity, and sacrifice. Pile 2, I believe that your person has very romantic feelings for you, but they do not know how to come forward with it towards you. I believe that they want to turn your bond with them into something more, but they are intimidated at the same time. I think that maybe you have a chance to come forward instead, and this will save your person a headache lol because they feel for you so much. One more message I'm getting is that they see you as a butterfly. Again, you have transformed so much in your life. You may have felt stuck in the past and over worried, but you will grow into your wings and you'll be set free to fly. Your reading is beautiful pile 2. Your person deeply feels for you.

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Pile 3

(King of Pentacles, The Hermit, The Star, Seven of Cups, The Tower, Four of Wands, Servant, Unity, & Protection)

Hi pile 3! Welcome to your reading. ♡

Your person of interest finds you very, very attractive, and maybe even very addicting pile 3! I say this because The Devil card popped out twice in the back of the deck. You're quite appealing to them I would say. 😏 Anyway, I think you give off independent vibes to your person. You're very successful, and you're independent. You're not a loner, you're in solitude. There's a big difference between those two. I think they see you as someone who does not take bs either (I'm getting that some of you here are more mature so I can insert bs here lolol). I think they see you as someone very helpful to others. Maybe you are a people pleaser, for some? I just got that. Your person also might see you as quite mysterious. You may be more of the quiet type, and they are intrigued by you. They just want to know more and more about you. I get the feeling that your person also thinks that you may have a lot of people lined up for you in regard to romantic partners. Your person may think that they don't even have a chance with you because you're so hot lol. They do think of you as a star though. You radiate light in their life, and I think that they may admire you from a distance, and they keep their feelings to themselves at times. I think that when you or if you have conversations with them, they will feel very emotionally connected with you. Your conversations with them are easy, and they feel like they can open up to you about pretty much anything comfortably. I think this is what separates you from others. You just get them in a way that no one else does, this pertains to your conversations with them, as well as your looks. 😉 One random thing, I think they might like your hands lol. Your person's feelings for you are strong pile 3, it's a given here. I think they did not expect to be this attracted to you though. Maybe some people here are in a work or classroom environment with your person, and your relationship with them could almost feel "taboo" but they can't help but be so drawn to you. Another situation I’m seeing here is a friend dynamic. Just take what resonates. I think that your person does really want something more with you though. I think if you two were together, they would really make it known to the world that you are theirs and they would celebrate your love lol. They also feel very protective over you. Even if you are already strong on your own and independent, your person still wants to be the one to protect you at all costs and even be your knight in shining armor. I believe that your bond with this person does have potential to lead to something more pile 3, even if you do not talk to them, the both of you still have potential together. Overall, they are so attracted to you pile 3. Do you ever have that person that you like so damn much that they are ruining your life???!! Yeah, that's you to them. Lol.

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[p1utofairy]

PAC: “all i need in this life of sin…” ⭐️🏆❤️‍🔥🍒

• the personality traits and overall aesthetic of your person.

disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i had fun doing this :) hope you all enjoy! feedback is always appreciated of course.

pile 1 🪷 —

“lotus flower bomb, firefly. when i'm low, she take me high. i can teach you all the sounds of love.”

heyyy pile 1, let me just start by saying the energy is strongggg af my goodness. your person is definitely a go-getter! they say what they mean, and mean what they say. this is a person who has gone through a lot of hardships in life and has experienced a lot of setbacks, causing them to feel hopeless and discouraged. but on the flip side, they possess the strength to rise like a phoenix from the ashes and overcome adversity. your person may have a deep and/or commanding voice…it's one of the things you definitely are going to love about them. your person has a lot of structure, power and authority. they call the shots and you'll love it lol. they weren't always like this either pile 1, they had to grow into the person that they are now. this provider/protector role. also, i keep hearing that they are veryyy attractive. there's a detached vibe to them that intrigues people, it's like they can't fully figure out your person & your person likes that honestly. i heard "let's keep it that way." lol they do not like people all up in their business. your person may have prominent air sign placements in their chart. this is someone who is intellectually sharp, has a clear vision, and knows how to take on challenges with a levelheaded approach. they can be headstrong from time to time but they typically make decisions based on careful thought and precision. it used to be hard for them to see the brighter side of things, but you are a beacon of light for them. you bring out the energetic and adventurous side of them, they're gonna be all over you pile 1. they can't even control it…they're usually laid back and chill but you get them so excited and aroused i'm hearing LOLOLOL. with you by their side, they know that they can do anything. i'm now hearing i won by future ft. kanye west wowww they're definitely gonna feel so lucky to have you pile 1.

their overall aesthetic:

i'm getting certified lover boy vibesssss. your person might have a calm and composed demeanor, but deep down you really stir something primal in them. they want to impress you so badly, even when you two get into the relationship they still want you to feel like you're in the honeymoon phase (i'm hearing years) down the line. whatever you want, they'll get it. they're gonna treat you with so much care, devotion and respect. i feel like this person has money mhm they're gonna splurge on you. i'm getting spontaneous trips, fine dining, luxury gifts and lots of pampering. you may not always expect that from them, but it's something they want to do for you because they love you. i feel like their love language is quality time, gift giving and words of affirmation. i see 11:11 on the clock now that i'm wrapping up your reading, WOW. this is amazing pile 1.

other channeled messages:

the party & the after party by the weeknd, aquarius, unbothered, gemini, change, cancer, authority, hey daddy (daddy's home) by usher, fancy by drake ft. t.i. & swizz beatz, 11:11, get on your knees by nicki minaj ft. ariana grande

pile 2 ☀️ —

“that's the way everyday goes. every time we've no control. if the sky is pink and white. if the ground is black and yellow. it's the same way you showed me.”

your person is an absolute gem, pile 2. i mean wow…i don't even know where to begin. i can feel their attraction and adoration for you 🥹 you inspire them so much. your person has a lot of complex emotions that they have to work through at times and they'll love how you'll always be willing to listen and give them the advice they need to carry on. i can see you two sitting really close together, faces nearly inches apart and your hand over their heart saying "i'm always here, you know that." you don't ever want them to hold back. i don't know why carmy and sydney from ‘the bear’ keep popping up in my head. (do y'all watch that show?) i'm seeing stolen glances, small smiles and hearing lots of giggling/laughter. you take their breath away pile 2. this person is not confrontational, they try to avoid conflict and discomfort as much as possible. if your upset though, they'll put their shit aside and make sure you're okay. again, idk if y'all watch ‘the bear’ but whenever sydney is upset/angry with carmy he'll immediately try to get to the root of the problem and ask her what's going on. your person does not want to fuck up the foundation they are working to build with you. they sometimes struggle with getting things started and leaving them unfinished, but with this relationship they want to see it all the way through. you have the natural ability to care for others and appreciate the beauty and value of life (i hear you romanticize life), and you inspire your person to do the same. they feel so blessed to have someone like you in their life. your person wants the whole 9 with you, they are willing to give you the world. you bring them so much joy pile 2 it nearly brings tears to my eyes.

their overall aesthetic:

i'm hearing that your person has the midas touch; everything they touch turns to gold. this is random but i feel like you're their first bad b*tch lol they've never had someone like you. i feel like their last relationship didn't end on the greatest of terms and they felt really down about it, doubting if love is even real. but you came along and shook things up! i feel like you both match each other's fly. they have a very clean-cut, simple yet effective style that you'll really like. possibly even tattoos. also, they're gonna be BIG on physical touch.

other channeled messages:

i know you by faye webster, carmy berzatto from the bear, you bring me joy by mary j. blige, leo, flirty, separation anxiety, broken, happy by ashanti, money, 222, honey by mariah carey

pile 3 🌅 —

“i'm tellin' everybody you're mine and i like it. and i really hope you don't mind, i can't fight it. no, you know i cannot hide it 'cause i am so excited that i finally decided on you.”

heyyy pile 3, i'm getting major best friends to lovers vibes holy shit. thinkin bout you by frank ocean just came to mind. literally anything you say or do will have your person in such awe of you. i'm getting serena van der woodsen and nate archibald vibes (without the betrayal and cheating behind a friend's back lol) but there's an undeniable chemistry between the two of you. i'm hearing "the golden boy and the it girl" 🌟 you both shine so bright together. your person is very career-oriented and self disciplined, they've worked hard for everything they have. your person has a lot to offer you! i can see you two traveling to tropical places, trying out new hobbies together, and unlocking parts of yourself that you didn't even know were hidden. you're gonna take a leap of faith with this person because they're always so encouraging and reassuring that everything will work out just fine. you might be a person that likes to plan things out and have things in order first but your person? they're just like fuck it let's do it lol they're very spontaneous and that might catch you off guard at first, but you'll actually grow to appreciate their optimism as the relationship goes on. i can hear that quote from scarface, "the eyes chico, they never lie." they'll be so enamored by you. they have a very old-fashioned way about them, in terms of how they'll court you and show you off. (they might like those classic 90s/2000s mob movies idk) but your person is very generous, romantic and sweet. you're all they can think about and vice versa. you'll both be sprung hehe.

their overall aesthetic:

they love nice things. nice cars, nice watches, nice tux, you name it. i feel like because of how they carry themselves and how well-kept they are, they attract envious people/haters. they're not oblivious to it but they definitely try to pay it no mind. i'm hearing "fuck the haters!" lol they don't care. again, i feel like they're really going to love showing you off and claiming you loud and proud for the world to see. they're very confident and some of you may be a little shy but their energy is so infectious that you'll start owning your power even more. i love love love love it pile 3!

other channeled messages:

harry potter, ravenclaw, hufflepuff, the less i know the better by tame impala, adorn by miguel, daydreamin’ by ariana grande, you taught me how to live again, sweetest taboo by sade, pride by kendrick lamar, upper east side, video games by lana del rey, motorcycles, gemini, ibiza, loyalty, charming, power couple

pile 4 🎇 —

"drop the roof and let the smoke clear. i got diamonds doin' toosie slides in both ears. dice rollin' on the las vegas strip tonight. slip that on and we might miss the fight.”

hiii pile 4! i know this is straightforward but right off the bat i'm hearing that you're gonna give your person hell LMFAOOO? paint the town red by doja cat keeps playing in my head 😮‍💨 especially the part that goes "she a bad lil' bitch, she a rebel. she put her foot to the pedal, it'll take a whole lot for me to settle." you have high standards (as you should!) and they will be met. i feel like some of you that chose this pile have really bold and assertive personalities and people may find it intimidating, especially masculine energies. it's funny cause i feel like your person does have a bit of an ego and it's gonna take a minute to really figure out how to navigate the relationship. your person is a BOSS, (a big boss i'm hearing) and they have a similar mindset to you in terms of not settling for less. they are assertive by nature and it's gonna catch them off guard when you're not submissive initially. they like to take control, but you also like to take control so that's where the friction comes in. i'm not getting that it's bad or toxic though. if anything, it turns them on. i will say, out of all the other piles this one has the strongest sexual energy 😅 very very spicy! this person likes to put the work in but if something/someone is boring them they won't hesitate to move on. they hate wasting time. but you? you keep them on their toes, it's neverrr gonna be boring! i feel like you're gonna make them love drunk. i'm hearing church by mariah the scientist which is a very sensual song. they feel so pulled to you, it's out of their control and it scares them. i feel a bit dizzy rn (your person is lowkey dramatic it's hilarious) you're gonna drive them halfcrazy because they love you so much. definitely hearing halfcrazy by musiq soulchild. “my minds gone halfcrazy cause i can't leave you alone.” YEAH, they're gonna be deep in their bag about you. they may need to step back for a minute to get their mind right but one thing they know for sure is that they want you. they want it all. i'm getting heavy scorpio vibes (maybe even 8h placements) but this relationship is going to be very transformative, passionate, hypnotic and exhilarating. you're gonna love how much they yearn for you even though they try to fight it. y'all know how much power you possess hehe just be careful of playing too many mind games with this person. they really do love you pile 4, it's just gonna take a minute to find a nice balance between you both. they may need a little reassurance from you.

their overall aesthetic:

i feel like your person is a bit cold and reserved, but that's going to draw you to them even more. you want to know what's behind the mask. i just thought of the scene in ‘the batman’ when cat woman and batman are on the rooftop and she strokes his face and asks “who are you under there? what are you hiding?” AH, that's exactly what this is! you have that enticing push and pull that neither of you can walk away from because it's just too good. you're not gonna find that with anyone else, this person is your soulmate. you or this person may have had previous relationships that just didn't satisfy you or awaken you like this relationship will. i just heard f&mu by kehlani LOL y'all will love to get them riled up just to kiss and make up. i feel like you both will say it to each other too, it's a consensual game you both like to play. you both will be very upfront and honest with each other as you get comfortable, which will bring you two even closer. your person does have a bruce wayne vibe going for them lol definitely not boring but very intelligent, neat, practical, a bit brooding and always prepared for any and everything. i just heard “the bat and the cat…it's got a nice ring.” AHHH.

other channeled messages:

been away by brent faiyaz, crew by gold link ft. brent faiyaz, spread thin by mariah the scientist, u are my high by dj snake & future, electric by alina baraz ft. khalid, maneater, popular by the weeknd ft. madonna & playboi carti, how to lose a guy in 10 days, awkward by sza, is there someone else? by the weeknd, 7 rings by ariana grande, famous, flashing lights by kanye west, trust fund baby, tall in height, nothing burns like the cold by snoh aalegra ft. vince staples, wild side by normani ft. cardi b

[readychilledwine]

Trials and Tribulations

Rhysand Week Day 1 - Adolescence

Summary - Rhysand was always a cocky teen, until it came to you at least

Warnings - Childhood crushes, first dates, flirting, Cassian and Azriel being wingmen (no pun intended), mixed ending (some will like it, some won't), reader likes traditional female roles (it makes sense in the end)

A/n- Happy @officialrhysandweek! This is just a short cute fic with Rhys and a childhood crush. I like to imagine Rhys was always really smooth with everyone, but someone he felt genuine emotion for. I feel like that's a skill we are still watching him learn to cope with and tackle with Feyre.

✨️Rhysand Week Masterlist✨️Rhys Masterlist✨️Master Masterlist✨️

Arrogant is a strong word, but it fits how you felt about the male in front of you perfectly. Yes, he was beautiful. His hair dark as night, sharp jawline, eyes so deep and blue they almost appeared purple.

But that smirk. That smirk as he touched you, flirting with you so openly as other Illyrian males and females watched in stunned silence. It was enough to make you feel as though all attraction to him was melting away.

“Remove your hand from my hip or I will have my father remove it for you,” that smirk dropped at your words, his eyes growing wide with shock. Rhysand's hand slowly moved off of you, the strategy Cassian had told him to use not working in the slightest on you.

He glanced back to where his brothers were sitting and watching. Nonverbally begging for help. It wasn't that you didn't want him touching you. He knew that just based on your thoughts, but you were almost upset he had.

6 months. 6 months of you two admiring each other from afar, of shared sneaking glances, of occasional words and smiles shared, but you were rejecting him. Rejecting his advances.

“I- I apologize,” he took in a quick breath before trying Azriel's tactic, one that worked for the mysterious and handsome male without fail. “Do you want to go back to my place and talk?” He watched as your face fell, a glare appearing in those normally bright eyes. “I fucked this up, didn't I?” You only nodded and walked away from him, going back to your older brother and his friends.

Rhys returned to his brothers then, grabbing his drink before walking out of the community dininghall.

Cassian chased after him, Azriel not far behind as Cass yelled, “What the hell happened?!”

“Your ideas didn't work.” Rhys had never sounded so small, so insecure. Being a half illyrian came with challenges, but Rhysand had always been strong through them. He faced adversity with the confidence of a male who knew his worth, even if others felt that worth was lower than he did.

“So we make a new plan,” Azriel was stoic in his response. “I know she likes you. I overheard her telling her friends during chores.” The three of them began replotting the next day. For a week, they formed a new plan for Rhysand to charm you into a date, into a walk, anything.

You shook him to his core. Your smile, your playful eyes, your voice. You knocked him off his pedestal and he had no plans in allowing you to walk away without so much as a single date.

The following Saturday was warm, a full moon in the sky, bonfires all around. You were with your friends, all giggling and laughing while your brother stood guard. The two of them were holding eye contact, your brother almost silently begging Rhysand to try again. The two of them liked each other. Trained together frequently. Discussed you even more frequently.

Your family was more forward-thinking. They believed your worth was equal to your brother's, but oddly, you loved chores. You made the choice not to train. You loved keeping a clean home, baking, cooking. You loved your vegetable garden. Perhaps it was that choice that both drew Rhysand to you and made him struggle in dealing with his feelings for you. So many other Illyrian females were happy to crawl into his bed. To rebel for a few hours or all night. Yet you? You had a healthy home. A happy life. There was no need for you to rebel against a heavy-handed father or a cruel mother.

He had been attracted to you since his mother brought him here. A childhood crush he longed to turn to more. It wasn't until Azriel and Cassian came into the picture that he felt it was possible, though. The three of them were always pushing each other. They motivated each other to be there best, to be strong, to be good males. Rhys knew he could be that for you. He could be strong. He could be confident. He could be all you needed him to be if only he gave himself a chance.

He took his beer like a shot before walking over to you, praying to The Mother the second time would be the charm. “Can we talk,��� he offered his hand, waiting for you to place your smaller one in it and smiled when you did.

“How was training this week?” You were hoping to help him relax. He loved when you asked about him, loved when you cared about his week.

“Good. Got to fight Cassian hand to hand.”

“Ah, so you lose again?”

He glared at you playfully, “Barely.”

“How quickly did he take you down?”

“I’ll have you know-”

“So quickly then,” you interrupted with a smirk.

“Smartass.”

“Sore loser,” You shrieked as he spun on you, throwing you over his shoulder. “Rhysand!” He could hear you say his name forever. Listen to your laugh on repeat. He tried to keep his confidence with him as Azriel and Cassian gave him thumbs up from the treeline.

They had figured out that it was Rhysand you liked. Rhysand. Not his looks. Not his money. Not his massive wings. Not even the fact that he was heir to the Night Court. It was him. You liked him. You liked how easy your conversations flowed, how kind he was, how easy it was to push his buttons. You liked the friendship you two shared, the moments of vulnerability and innocence.

Shamelessly, he carried you to a blanket and picnic basket he and his brothers had set up, setting you down with little grace. “I brought snacks."

You blinked at his simple statement, “You brought snacks?”

“For our date, yes,” he sat down without further words, opening the basket. “Are you going to sit or just stand there?” He would never admit how insecure he was feeling right now. That anxious bubbly feeling in his stomach threatening to ruin his plan of wooing and courting you.

It wasn't visible to anyone else, but you saw the change in his eyes as you studied him, the way his glance kept flickering to the trees. “You're kidding me,” your gaze followed his. “You brought Azriel and Cassian?”

His face fell and a blush began to spread, “No! I- no!” He stood again, blocking you from looking over into the trees by flaring out his wings. “Just us. You and me. Me and you.”

“And your friend Az?” Rhysand wanted to melt on the spot as you continued trying to look around with him with a bright smile. “You're normally so confident, Rhysand,” you suddenly stopped and just stared at him.

“You bring out my nerves,” he said calmly. “You're beautiful. You're smart. You're lovely. We're friends. You-”

A voice broke from the tree line, “Stop ranting!”

The two of you began to laugh as he sat back down and you followed him. You had never seen him like this before. A ball of nervous energy just looking for an outlet.

“Relax,” you whispered and leaned your head on his shoulder. “Tell me about what Azriel and Cassian are like.”

Rhysand seemed to find his confidence in that touch, that soft reassurance. The coil in his stomach released, his shoulders falling, “I'm the most handsome out of the three of us,” he said loudly, smiling as you nodded. “And the most delightful. Possibly the most cunning.”

“Definately the most humble,” you mumbled, earning a playful glare. As the date went on, he eased more. His rants about Cassian and Azriel caused loud yells to come from suddenly noisy trees at random times.

It became the first date of many in his late teens. A reference point he now used as he stared in the mirror getting ready to take Feyre out.

You had been his gold standard. A childhood crush turned teenage sweetheart, turned first heartbreak, turned sister. You, in all your tenderness, had helped shape him similar to how Cassian had, to how Azriel had. You were his only true romance before Feyre and one of his hardest lessons in his younger years.

He threw a pillow at you as he entered the living room, “Thanks for baby sitting Nyx tonight.”

You put a finger on your nose, a game all too familiar to you and him, and pointed to Azriel, “All him. But you are welcome.” You adjusted his tie for him. “Relax,” that word rang so many memories in his head. “She loves you."

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp @itsswritten @milswrites @littlest-w01f

[eugenedebs1920]

There are some on the right, the pro-fascist side, who would claim Dems, liberals are the establishment.

First I would like to start out with the definition of liberal. Liberal: Willing to listen to, or accept ideas and opinions different from one’s own. Open minded.

Now let’s take a loo at conservative. Conservative: Adverse to change or innovation. Holding to “traditional” values.

When one thinks of movements that have bettered humanity, and the world at large are these done in the name of tradition? Are these done by the ideals of old?

Tradition in this country can be rooted back to slavery, back to a time when white people lorded their superiority over others based solely on the color of their skin. It can be traced back to the most wealthy among us, exploiting workers to enrich themselves with as much as possible while no care is given for the health and safety of those who make their wealth possible. Tradition can be traced back to voter suppression and Jim Crow laws, disenfranchising the votes of those who don’t fit their socioeconomic standards, who don’t fit their color code.

This tradition can be traced back to TODAY! Because this tradition of disenfranchisement is happening TODAY! Nearly every state with a GOP majority has done, and is doing all it can to drop voters off the roles. Pretending there’s some kind of fraud. This fraud is simply the poor, those of color, and those who don’t fit a white Christian mold, that they seem to think this country is.

Through years of scheming and planning, through a lack of foresight from our founding fathers, trying to appease slave states. The GOP has found a way of minority rule over the vastly diverse country America is. This minoritarian rule can be seen clearly in SCOTUS, it can be seen in the senate where millions and millions of Americans have little to no say on the goings on in government. Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Idaho, all those states combined don’t have the number of citizens California does. All those states are “conservative” states, but California gets 2 representatives, the collective there is 10! A 10-2 vote with not nearly as many constituents. There’s the house though!? Some may argue. The house is a joke! So gerrymandered, useless idiots like Margery toilet Greene will keep her seat for decades to come. We outnumber conservatives in the real world but are trampled by them in representation.

We are the revolutionaries! We are the fight against the forces of old and evil! We are the fight for change! For a better America, for a better world where ALL have equal rights! Where ALL get the same shot at the American dream! Where ALL are treated as members of this country despite their origins or preferences or religion! We are the rebellion against “tradition”. A tradition that seeks to benefit one sect of peoples. We are the other sect and we will not be gaslit to think otherwise.

All of us in the pro-democracy movement are the heart of this nation. The liberals who will take the pinnacle of diversity and thrive with the ideas of all! We are the change. We are the next generation. We are love! We are hope! We are the open minded, accepting, tolerant, compassionate, ever learning, ever growing liberals of the United States of America.

[icanseethefuture333]

PAC: How you will blossom in life & as an individual 🌺

"A flower that blooms in adversity, is the most rare and beautiful of all..." - Mulan

Pile 1:

Shufflemancy -

Moonlight Sunrise by Twice

Spring Is Coming With A Strawberry In The Mouth by Caroline Polachek

Fashion by Kamaiyah

Success, Patience, Acceptance, Abundance, Knight of Cups, The Hierophant, Four of Wands, & The World

Bottom of my tarot deck was the world and bottom of my oracle deck was abundance. So it seems that prosperity is right around the corner for you, pile 1! You are going to be entering a period of abundance and the universe will provide clarity and wisdom for you for this spring. I heard "The world is yours", so I feel that through life experiences, you will blossom and grow as a person. You are going to come in contact with a divine counterpart and it will feel almost too good to be true. I almost wrote "gold" so something about them shines the light in you. I also interpret this as embracing all aspects of love, such as allowing yourself to receive it (either from yourself or from others) as well as giving love. People could tell you that you're glowing more and overall your essence and appearance will become very radiant. It is possible that the person, or even people, that you will meet are going to highlight your best attributes. You will be able to be yourself around others and your true self will be greatly admired. I also see that your beauty and personal style will be very eye catching. You could learn to dress for your body type or you will try a new makeup look that enhance your features. Your individuality could be valued and admired by others, the glimmer in your eyes as you talk about your hopes, dreams, goals, or even what makes you happy would really be noticeable. For some of you, you could fall in love, while for others, you will make a friend, perhaps its both. Everything you ever waited and wanted for in life is going to happen to you. In life, you were someone who was always patient and observant of others, but the desires you seek is now time for you to have a turn to experience. You are learning to hoist your sails and steer the ship, instead of going against the water's current. You will be proud of how far you've come and will be able to celebrate your accomplishments soon! You could also be invited to parties or social events where your will get to make connections with others. Fixed energy (Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio, especially Taurus) is prominent in this pile, so it is likely you are going to attract opportunities for money as well that could provide you with a sense of confidence, mental clarity, emotional security, and financial stability. The message for you pile 1, is that "you deserve it". You are deserving love, happiness, and abundance. Be sure not to block your blessings by focusing on your insecurities, accept what you cannot change. Find the beauty in the present and what surrounds you.

Pile 2:

Shufflemancy -

LA DI DA by EVERGLOW

Mango Butter by Durand Bernarr

Link Up by Tinashe

Surrender, Friendship, Trust, Change, Seven of Cups, The High Priestess, The Emperor, & Knight of Pentacles

Forming a bond with others and allowing others to help you on your journey, pile 2, will you help blossom as an individual. You are a confident individual who knows their worth and you have a good head on your shoulders, but there is this aspect of constantly needing to be independent that is stunting your growth. Hyper-independence will not get you anywhere in life, it will only add to your stress and frustration. While you are someone who is successful in your endeavors, you do not allow yourself to trust in others. You could have possibly been raised with the mindset of "hustle culture" or could go by the saying I've been "grindin' all my life". Most people who reached to the top didn't do it all by themself. Whenever someone accepts an award, there are people that they have to thank for their contribution to their work. Whether that was a album, a film, a book, etc. It takes a team effort to get the end result. So you can be the star of the movie, you can be the main character, but watching a film that involves only one person doesn't really make sense. Unless this is the movie "Castaway", then you are going to need to have people in your life to help elevate you as a person. You have to be willing to learn the lessons necessary for your character development. Trust others could be something that is difficult for you but you know that you are smart, pile 2. If someone does not seem like a good apple, you are not obligated by any means to stay friends with them. The universe asks you to surrender and let go of the need to control everything, allow situations to unfold unnaturally. As much as we want life to be peaceful and never have to deal with negativity. It's not realistic, life is balanced, it has its ups and downs - good and bad. You need a friend who will help relieve that stress you are feeling in the moment. Learn to relax and unwind, you don't need to be strong all the time. You will blossom in life and as a person when you embrace having fun, letting your hair down, and being carefree.

Pile 3:

Shufflemancy -

Rocky by SAAY

Let Out The Beast by EXO

You Don't Understand by Gramatik

Freedom, Loneliness, Death, Failure, Five of Wands, Ace of Pentacles, Three of Cups, & Ace of Swords

Oh boy, are you in your angst era, pile 3? You could feel misunderstood and attacked by others. Growing up, it is possible that others would put you down and make you feel less about yourself. A select few of you have experienced bullying, some of you are dealing with unreasonable classmates or coworkers, while for others, your parents or family members were the first bullies you had. Whatever the case may be - you do not need to fight with these people anymore. You are free to walk away from at any given moment. I know that sounds easier said done but it is time for you stop letting people walk over you. This also may sound harsh but you have to get over this victim mindset as well. You are awesome person, pile 3, but holding onto grudges and toxic situations is not going to help you. You will blossom as a individual when you just stop giving a fuck about what these people have said or done to you. Do what you have to do to release the pent up emotions and say your piece then move on. Some of you, need to let someone have it. As in cuss them out for their mistreatment and put that asshole in their place. You don't have to let people get the best of you but you do need to set boundaries with people and know when to say "enough is enough". You are too nice to others and being cool, calm, and collected is not going to fix your problems. I see you are going to feel so relieved after you do this and a weight will be lifted off of your shoulders once you finally confront these issues. I also see that your feelings of loneliness and not being able to "fit" in or make connections with people will not concern you anymore. Your confidence is going to transform tremendously and I honestly am loving this for you, pile 3! I see that you could get the promotion you should have had a long time ago, get the grade you wanted in class, etc. Regardless of what it is, your hard work is going to be acknowledged and rewarded. I also believe you will find some sort of remedy in your relationships and people will start to really cherish you and will treat you with the respect you deserve. Some of you could go to counseling and therapy as well that will provide you with the tools necessary to resolve past trauma. Pile 3, you are going to be able to find your voice again and realize your thoughts and ideas should be heard, they no longer have to be dismissed anymore.

Pile 4:

Shufflemancy -

Godspeed by Frank Ocean

Found Love by Sofya Wang

Ribs by Lorde

Forgiveness, Indecision, Worry, Gratitude, The Star, Eight of Swords, Ten of Cups, & Five of Cups (reversed)

I feel you are missing someone or something, pile 4. There is this nostalgic and dreamy energy that you have. It feels bittersweet and for the season of spring, you could be reminiscing on your past. Perhaps you are remembering memories of someone that was dear to you. Some of you could have experienced the loss of a loved one or there is a distance between you and a place, person, etc. This is causing you to feel worried about your future and ponder about if you have made the right decisions in life. I feel that in order for you to blossom in life, you will have to experience "growing pains". This feels like a coming of age story or wishing to regain your innocence and youth. No matter how old you are, as long as you are living at this very moment, you can do anything you set your mind to. Whether you are an adolescent, someone in their 30s, or even middle aged. You have a great life ahead of you but you will not be able to see this bright future of yours if you do not put yourself out there and at least try. Our memories can be great but also painful but we look to those moments for strength for when we need to realize how far we have come. Instead of feeling remorse about your past decisions or worrying about what's going to happen, find the beauty of the unknown. Practice gratitude and appreciate everything that brought you to this very moment. If you cannot forgive others, forgive yourself my love, forgive yourself for your past mistakes. You do not need to harbor these heavy feelings anymore. There are happy times and joyous moments with loved ones going to come to you seen, as soon as you reflect upon your beliefs. Journaling and practicing affirmations will help you navigate these feelings and build self esteem. This is a period of healing, pile 4. Please hold on just a little bit longer and have faith that things will get better!

Pile 5:

Shufflemancy -

Cigar by HA:TFELT

Mizu by Sophia Black

Kerosene by Crystal Castles

Peace, Self Esteem, Service, Happiness, The Temperance, Queen of Cups, Three of Wands, & The Fool

I remember a quote by Bruce Lee where he said "To be like water, my friend" and I believe that means to just go with the flow in life. If try to force things and it does not work, just try another way. It's pointless to get upset about your way of doing things isn't working, try another way! Instead of being stubborn, you can have endless opportunities to use your creative thinking skills to make your life easier and better. I believe for spring you should do some spring cleaning, whether is cleaning your home, saging your room, or going to a river to take a dip in the water. Now would be a good time to bask in the fruits of your labor and enjoy the fruition of things unfolding. To blossom at this point in your life, you need to take things slow, and appreciate what beauty is in your surroundings. You could start noticing things you never have before. Like "Oh I never knew I had this beautiful tree in my neighborhood!" or "Wow I didn't know this great restaurant was right around the corner of my home!". Just allow yourself to explore your options and not think about what needs to be perfect. This is going to be a period of happiness, peace, and relaxation for you. I overall see that you need to rest and make time to enjoy going out or even make your home a beautiful place. You need to Marie Kondo your life, pile 5! Do what it is you need to unwind from all the stress. Be generous and practice some self care. Go to a spa, get a massage, redecorate your home, drink tea, read a book, take a bath with salts or bath bombs, etc. These activities will help put you at ease and give you the time to think about what you like to do with your life. I see that you will travel, take trips, and focus on self love this spring. You are going to be your own best friend and put yourself for once instead of always being at service to others.

Pile 6:

Shufflemancy -

Dusk by Chelsea Wolfe

Happy Without Me by Chloe x Halle ft. Joey Bada$$

You Should Be Here by Kehlani

Pride, Growth, Purpose, Adversity, Queen of Pentacles, Four of Swords, Knight of Wands, & Ten of Wands

I believe you are being prideful and refusing to make a decision regarding a situation, pile 6. You need to face the music about your actions and what is holding you back. This could be pertaining to a relationship that is not helping you elevate yourself in life. Whether this is a ex, current partner, a situationship, etc. This on and off relationship, that you refuse to accept needs to end, is going to continue to drain you of your time and energy. If you are not seeing someone, then there are codependency issues that you need to understand where it comes. You could have this vice that you are very attached to and without it - you become sick, depressed, and unstable. You do not need anyone or anything to make you feel validated and worthy. You are an amazing person but no one can make you see that but you. You cannot want to get better if you keep depending on materialistic things or the feeble words of others to boost your self esteem. No one needs to have a purpose in life to deserve to have a wonderful life. Your purpose is being here. Destiny, fate, or karma cannot define your self worth and affect what choices you decide to make. Take back your power today and stop looking for other people or the universe to be the voice of reason you need. You have a choice and you can do whatever you wish with that said choice. Life can be challenging and there are bumps in the road but pile 6, you will feel so proud of yourself when you overcome the trials and the tribulations. You will blossom as an individual once you learn to dust the dirt off your shoulder and understand that no matter what happens you will be okay because you have yourself.

Pile 7:

Shufflemancy -

Call For Help by Pearly Drops

I know I'm Funny Haha by Faye Webster

Growing by JGrrey

Perseverance, Relationships, Humor, Grief, Ten of Swords, The Magician (Reversed), Four of Cups, & The Tower

Pile 7, I feel that you are someone who is considered to be all "peaches and sunshine". You naturally have a positive disposition about life and could use humor as a way to elevate the mood. You are a bright source of light for others in this world. You are someone people can go to when they are feeling down and troubled and that is a very beautiful thing. The downside to this, pile 7, is that you are experiencing your own troubles and hardships that no one can see. I don't believe you discuss with others about the grief you have experienced despite having loved ones you have a great connection with. To blossom as an individual, pile 7, you need to embrace being open with others and understand that you are still lovable if you are not always happy. You have a gorgeous smile and when you use it to mask your pain, it becomes a concern. You don't have to handle it all by yourself. Call a friend or a family member to talk about everything you've been dealing with, you could see people will understand or care more than you may realize. Yes other people could be dealing with something in life but it is possible to check on someone as well and make sure they're okay. You are not a burden and you are loved. I also interpret this as you needing to call and check on someone close to you. Whether that's a old friend, your parents, your siblings, or someone you have grown distant from. This could be someone you've known since childhood because I smelled crayons and heard "green eggs and ham". I believe this could also mean you need to reconnect with your inner child. You may not believe in things that a child believes anymore such as magic, fairytales, and mythical creatures. It is okay to engage in fantasies every once in a while, for those sweet, innocent moments helps get away from the world during trouble times. Look at pictures of you when you were young, visit your childhood home, eat a snack you used to loved as a kid, go to a park, watch cartoons, or buy yourself some coloring pencils, markers, toys, etc. Just do an activity that allows you to spend time with your inner child and have fun! In your youth, or growing up, some of you may have struggled with acne but for the month of spring I see that your skin will really start to clear up! For some of you, Melanie Martinez and Tierra Whack's music could be significant. You may have had a phase where you were a big fan of these artists or you should get into their music for it may pertain to your situation. Their song "copy cat" is a message for some of you. Your blossoming period could be uncomfortable in some aspects, pile 7. You may end a friendship with someone or feel the need to move on from what it is not serving you. This change in your life will help you find your way back to yourself. You could have felt disconnected or confused about what is your true identity. Once you shed other's expectations and desires on who you should be, you will be able to experience to true joy. Your spring blessing is to be able to feel secure and comfortable with you really are.

Pile 8:

Shufflemancy -

Let Go by Frou Frou

Freefall by KATRANADA ft. Durand Bernarr

Doctor, My Eyes by Khamari

Judgment, Health, Imagination, Balance, The Hermit, The Empress, Five of Cups, & Death

You are being called to take a leap of faith, pile 8. Freefall into this new period in your life and allow you to see the wonders of life. Have faith and trust that the universe to always catch you. Release your need to judge and constantly criticizing your or other people's imperfections. You are the most prosperous in life when you just let go of the bullshit. You have to be able to realize there is abundance even if you do not see it yet. This is a funny example but I remembered the meme of the girl rapping "but did you die tho?". You could be someone who is considered to be "melodramatic" (real) and act as if the world is ending just because of a minor inconvenience. You are here, what are you going to do about it? Are you gonna cry over spilled milk or continue to push on and do something that makes you happy. Find a balance in expressing certain emotions before you react. You will blossom as an individual when you learn to practice emotional intelligence and know that you are always going to be okay in the end. Have the mindset of "Asked me how I'm doing? I'm blessed, yes." I wrote this at 111 so that angel number is a sign for you to pay attention to your thoughts at this time and instead focus on your manifestations babe! I feel like your guides wish to tell you to stop acting bratty like they adore you but you have your moments where you let your emotions get the best of you and you start to act really spoiled. I'm hearing the lyrics "Good karma, that's my aesthetic, keep my conscious clear that's why i'm so magnetic" and I believe that is all I can reveal to you, pile 8. You already know what desires you seek and how to bring it into fruition, just make sure you stay humble and stop reacting to things that are pointless and won't pertain to you in the next 24 hours. Make sure to get a health check up as well this spring, your eye health could need to be examined or you may need to look into getting glasses or contacts.

Pile 9:

Shufflemancy -

Changing Seasons from the Persona 5 soundtrack

Bluetooth by Piri & Tommy

Borderline by SUNMI

Doubt, Empathy, Fear, Regret, The Moon, The Hanged Man, Page of Cups, & Five of Swords

I feel that this is pile is interested in Y2K, gaming, and technology. You could be more of a hands on person and enjoy objects that allow you to touch, mold, or shape things with your hands. Some of you could be neurodivergent and enjoy using tools that allow you to stim whether that is slime, clay, ceramics, etc. You are really good with your hands and solving things with technology. You could also have a future career in fields such as STEM, video game design, gaming, music production, computer programmer, etc. You are someone who has their unique way of thinking and this is intriguing to others. Your features could be very physically cute as well. This could be weird to say but to people they think of you as a tomodachi, they just want to put you in their pocket, and carry you around. People desire to take care of you. You may think your quirks are considered unlikeable but this is not true. You may not be everyone's cup of tea but there are plenty of people who find you beautiful, pile 9. I feel that there is someone who may even have a crush on you. You could feel things more intensely than others and could deal with feelings of anxiety. You may have trouble sleeping at night due to racing thoughts, thinking of past regrets, and feeling guilty for things that you have done. Pile 9, you have to let go these thoughts and realize that it is just a thought. I am remembering the song "Here Comes A Thought" from Steven Universe. You do not have to suffer because you have troubling thoughts or a mental condition that causes you to be different than others. You may think you are doing others a favor by keeping away and staying in isolation, but it is doing you more harm than good in the end. You may also feel stuck and that you won't be able to get your current circumstances but that is just an illusion. The doubts, the thoughts, the circumstances is all an facade. You can get past this and you can fall in love, make friends, or pursue your dreams exactly the way you are. You do not need to be like anyone else but you. You will blossom, pile 9, once you embrace your remarkable qualities and also your flaws. No one is perfect and just because you have either a condition or personality that may not click with everyone else, it does not mean you cannot be happy, successful, and accepted by others. This spring, you should turn over a new leaf for yourself. Try to start with small goals and take your time. I wish you the best of luck :)!

[warpedpuppeteer]

It would be great if they talk about how Buck thought his relationship woes would be "fixed" because he finally figured himself out as bi and that was the answer he was always looking for but that was only just one part of the journey.

Buck's problem with relationships is that he's always taking cues from his partners and course correcting by making unhinged proposals (like moving in) whenever he gets something wrong or thinks he can "prove" his love (or prove he can fall in love with them in the future).

He's never fully himself in any of his relationships. He's always playing the part of what his partners need (service top buck truthers this one's for you). Being an emotional pillar for Abby or a protector for Ali for example.

Even in his first relationship with a man, instead of exploring and having fun, Buck was operating in the assumption that he needed to be a long-time partner material and that it's just like any other relationships he's been in. Hence, the invite to move in with him.

And to be fair to Buck, gender really doesn't matter to him because it's like...okay it's a little bit different but it's still the same in that it's a relationship and it's someone he's interested in. So really, for him, his sexuality isn't where his issues lie.

In all his previous relationships, it's been more about him changing than being himself. He stepped in with Abby, he compromised with Taylor, he was philosophical/spiritual with Natalia, he was discovering a new aspect of his identity with Tommy etc.

And Buck is fantastic in that he's always willing to learn things about himself. He was always capable of being all of this for someone but he just needed time and experience to bring these sides out of him.

Now this would be great except...all his previous partners reacted adversely to these changes. He got too emotionally attached to Abby when she really only wanted the part of Buck that was fun and flirty. Ali liked Buck being strong & protective until she realized that he would risk his own life in being a protector even for strangers.

Taylor liked that Buck was thrilling and exciting until she realized that he had morals he won't compromise on. Natalia was so very interested in Buck's experience with death until Buck was more focused on living. Tommy liked that Buck was newly bi and curious but stepped back once he realized that Buck was taking this very seriously.

Instead of embracing all the changes Buck was going through, his partners almost wanted the Buck they fell for originally. Kind of like...they fell in love with the IDEA of Buck rather than Buck himself.

So Buck actually needs someone who knows him as Buck in his entirety. Someone who likes Buck as he is but also likes him even as he changes and grows. Someone who Buck shows his true self to instead of adapting to his partner's needs.

Take me as I am, flaws and all. Take me as I am, and as I will be.

Not only does he need to realize that he doesn't have to shove his own needs/wants into the background but also that he needs a partner who will not expect anything more from him than he can give. When he does realize this, that's when Buck is truly free of the hamster wheel.

Of course, i can go on about who exactly is the perfect partner for Buck but instead, here are a few quotes that's very important in showing who it is :)

"you're the guy who likes to fix things"

"just do what you always do, talk to him"

"you think you're expendable but you're wrong"

"now am i allowed to ask how you are?"

"once he knows that you're an idiot, he'd love you, like we all do!"

"there's nobody in this world i trust with my son more than you"

"i forgive you...just don't do it again"

And the most damning of them all:

"you don't have to be anything for anybody"

[parasolladyansy]

The lotus flower grows in darkness, rises above the mire, & blooms, purifying the pond with her beauty 🏞️🪷

In BW2, Ansy loved to go to the White Forest - she often felt better when she’s immersed in nature. She loved listening to the leaves rustle in the wind, like gentle ocean waves. She loved the beautiful ponds full of Lotad, where Rain would love to swim - in the summer, it would be in bloom.

She took a lot of wisdom from the flowers: hope, growing through pain, & turning it to strength, however quiet or loud, when she encounters Pokemon thieves like Team Plasma lol.

I’ve found that just choosing to blossom, choosing to be yourself, to be a good person with integrity who’s not afraid to speak the truth however you can, no matter how dark your circumstances get, can be the greatest act of defiance in the face of adversity. The ones who would want to pull you down or stunt your healing might get salty or smug - let them. All they do is show you who they are, & makes it all that much easier for you KonMari your contacts as needed.✌🏻

—

So um. THANK YOU FOR THE 1000+ FOLLOWS! 878! I’m just a Pokémon nerd who likes to draw, & here you all are! 🥲🩵 As I’ve said before, I’m very grateful for you & my comic. Which I need to work more on. But I keep getting distracted. XD

Take care! 🩵

[mrsshabana]

𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅!𝐆𝐘𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎 ⛧ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

꒦꒷‧₊ Summary Your body is at its breaking point, and the full moon isn't even over yet. All you hope is that you can make it through the night. But even if you do, things between you and Gyutaro will never be the same. ꒦꒷‧₊ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, 18+ MDNI, hunter/prey, size difference, vaginal sex, creampie, breeding, biting/marking, knotting, pregnancy ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 1.1k words

༺ Art ༻

⇢ Chapter one ⇢ Chapter two ⇢ Kinktober Masterlist

Panic begins to set in as you realize the situation you're in. If he stays inside of you like this, there's no doubt that you'll get pregnant. That is the whole point of a knot after all.

His body presses down on you but you try your best to wiggle away without hurting him, moving your hips in an attempt to slide him out.

Gyutaro begins to snarl behind you, his claws digging into the ground beside your face.

His growls only intensify the more you move.

"O-Ok Gyu, I'm sorry... I'll stop," you whimper. Feeling afraid that you angered him, so not wanting him to lash out you stop moving completely.

But instead of trying to remove him from your sore cunt, it seems your movements had an adverse effect. As you swear you can feel him expanding even more inside of you. The way you wiggled around beneath him only made him hornier.

He begins bucking his hips, desperately trying to bully his cock deeper inside of you. But it's already stretching you past your limits, unable to go any deeper. Getting frustrated, his thrusts intensify. He wants to fuck you again so bad, but his knot won't allow him to pull back so he can plunge into you again. Only able to nudge against your tight walls, barely catching the friction he desires.

But the way you squeeze around his growing knot makes up for the lack of friction. Feeling the way you tightly clench around him makes him go insane, his cock already twitching in preparation for shooting another heavy load inside of you.

You hold onto his wrists as his body rocks on top of you. Trapped beneath the weight of him, there isn't much you can do. A moaning and quaking mess as he ferociously tries to breed you once again.

Your stomach already feels impossibly full, you know you can't take anymore. "G-Gyu please... ah, I can't! No m-more!" you beg.

But your pleas go unheard as he's already past his breaking point. His hips pushed so hard against your ass that you legitimately think it might bruise.

His body shudders and he wraps his arms around you and holds you close. You feel the pressure inside of you increase as he fills you up even more. Satisfied whines escape him, echoing off of the cave walls.

The pressure gets unbearably uncomfortable to the point where you can no longer move. Gyutaro gently nuzzles against you and licks the back of your neck, being sweet and affectionate as if to tell you that you did a good job. That you're such a good girl for him.

He's so busy giving you affection that he doesn't even realize you've already passed out. Eventually, his knot deflates and he can safely slide out of you.

Feeling a deep connection after what the two of you just shared, Gyutaro holds you against his chest and caresses you in his arms. Giving you soft licks and kisses on your face until inevitably falling asleep as well.

༶•┈┈⛧┈┈⛧┈┈•༶

As the full moon sets, the sun begins to rise - waking Gyutaro from the peaceful slumber he was in.

It's hard to explain but he wakes up feeling complete. Like last night he found a piece of himself that he didn't know he was missing. He feels lethargic, but really happy and calm at the same time.

Before he can even look around at his surroundings he picks up on an unusual scent. The scent of mating - he reeks of it.

And that's when he finally notices you lying beside him, and all the memories from last night come flooding back. Now that the full moon has passed, he can think rationally. Deep down he feels so guilty about what happened, but he can't help but feel ecstatic that he finally made you his mate.

Sex is very different for humans than it is for werewolves, it's not as meaningful and symbolic. Werewolves typically don't mate with just anyone, it has to be someone they feel a special connection to. Someone who they are ready to spend the rest of their lives with. And Gyutaro didn't need to know you for very long to know that you were the one for him.

The urge to make you his mate was so hard to hold back, but he did it for you. But when the full moon came he gave in to his primal urges and claimed you as his. He feels a sense of fulfillment and bliss knowing that he can call you his mate.

"Y/N..." he whispers, nudging your shoulder.

You don't budge so he starts licking your face, his tail wagging excitedly behind him. That cute golden retriever energy finally showing through now that the full moon is gone.

"C'mon Y/N! Time to wake up!"

The wet tongue gliding across your face finally wakes you from your slumber. "Ngh... Gyu?" You rub your eyes, making sure that he's actually real.

"Yeah, who else would it be?" he smiles. You can't help but stare at that quirky smile full of sharp teeth, those fluffy black ears, and that happily wagging tail. Everything that makes him different, everything that you love so very much about him.

So happy to see him back to his old self, you hug him tightly, feeling like you could cry.

He possessively wraps his arms around you, "I'm sorry about last night, I wanted our first time to be more tame since you're a human..."

"I-It's ok," you mutter, "I liked it..."

His eyes widen, "You did?"

"I did," you nod, "It was scary at first, but I knew what I was getting into when I chose to be with you."

"Y/N... you know I love you, right?" He grins and hugs you tighter, "We'll have to do it again after the pups are born."

"I love you too Gy- wait... the what?"

"Haha, don't act surprised! Do you really think there's a chance you aren't pregnant after last night?"

You're at a loss for words, the thought of actually getting pregnant by a werewolf feels so foreign to you. But he's right, it shouldn't be unexpected after what happened.

"Don't worry, Y/N," he smirks, "You're gonna look so pretty with my pups inside of you... I can't wait to get you pregnant over and over again."

[milswrites]

I'll Crawl Home to You

~ Azriel X Reader

Summary: After barely escaping his last mission, Azriel realizes he has one regret in life. Not telling you about the undying love which he held for you. His brush with death allowing him to realize that he can't live another day without you by his side, Azriel wastes no time in telling you exactly how he feels.

Warnings: Angst. Talks of death and injuries. Nice cute ending though :)

Azriel had always assumed that when the time came for death to greet him, he would welcome them like an old friend.

Gladly taking the specter's hand and allowing them to guide him to the afterlife, satisfied with the centuries of a blessed life he had been gifted by the Mother.

Azriel had never feared death. Instead he imagined that when the sweet embrace of darkness finally surrounded him, he would be able to rest at last. A mercy that he could finally be at peace, no worries crossing his mind as he knew that one day his brothers would also join him in whatever afterlife he was sent to.

Which is why he couldn't understand why he was panicking now as death's black cloak began to wrap around him. Rather than the warming comfort he had always imagined it would hold, the incoming blackness felt bitterly cold. Like his body had begun to freeze over like a lake in winter, the last dregs of his life being sucked from him.

Azriel found himself fighting back. His weak hand outstretched as he attempted to push away the approaching claws of death which were slowly advancing. Teeth grit together with effort as he tried to ward them off.

"No" the desperation in his hoarse voice was palpable, words catching in his throat as he flinched away from the foreboding figure of darkness. A painful spasm tearing through his body, originating from the wound on his chest where an unwelcome dagger had found its home.

"No i'm not ready yet please. Please don't take me . . . No please!"

His speech was slurred, vision dotted with masses of growing black spots. Yet Azriel didn't allow his hold on reality to slip for a single second. Not if it meant dying.

Not if it meant never seeing you again.

And so he resisted death's sweet siren song, too stubborn to allow himself to give in.

"I will not die today."

Azriel hissed the words through his pain. His fierce amber eyes meeting the cool sharp gaze of death's.

A gaze so intense that Azriel was sure it was enough to drive anyone to insanity. The well of darkness which swirled in death's icy orbs was never-ending. Azriel allowed himself to swim in them deeper and deeper, searching for a way to escape from their clutches. Following the glistening golden rope which shimmered enticingly, as though begging Azriel to take hold of it, promising that life would be at the other end of it.

It was agony. Sharp spikes of pain coursing through him as his limbs grew heaver and heavier the deeper he dived, skin beginning to burn and blister as a feverish sweat settled on his uncomfortable skin.

But Azriel didn't let up. Never lessening his grip on the golden rope. Allowing his memory of you to give him strength in the face of his adversity.

He never let go. Not even when death itself began to fight back.

Terrible visions of the horrors of his past appeared before him as he swam. Bubbles which contained the callous faces of his half-brothers floated by his face. Sinister smiles upon their lips as they stared at Azriel, deaths alluring voice slipping from their lips, "Come now Azriel, don't fight it. The rope leads to nothing. Let go. Close your eyes, I've got you. You can rest now."

Yet Azriel didn't look to the floating forms of his cruel brothers. He kept his stern gaze ahead, chasing after the end of the rope. Chasing after you.

It was almost as if you were there. If he squinted hard enough he could see your ethereal form at the end of the tunnel, a gentle hand held out for him to take.

It wasn't death. He knew that much. Your glowing figure radiated life, the promise of a future.

There at the end of the golden rope was you. Patiently waiting for him to greet you so you could return him to the land of the living. You were his salvation. You had come for him.

He allowed himself to become deaf to the enticing whispers of death. Continuing his pursuit forwards, towards you, leaving the dark memories of his past behind as he turned his full attention to swimming towards his future.

His scarred hand reaching out towards yours, the tips of his fingers brushing against your soft palm as he connected your hands. Entwining your fingers as he used the warmth you radiated as an anchor.

And then instead of darkness, there was only light.

~~~~~

Soft whispers stirred Azriel from his slumber. Through his closed eyelids, Azriel could see the sweet familiar orange glow of sunlight. The heat of which warmed his skin, energy flowing through his body as though the sun was replenishing his source. Enabling him to slowly flutter his eyes open, sight focusing on the blurred figure in the chair next to him.

Azriel rushed to sit up, Cassian's steady hands shooting out to stop his erratic movement, hushing the shadowsinger as he helped to rest him up against the pillows on the bed.

"Careful," Cassian grinned, pleased to see his brother awake, yet his smile did nothing to hide the concern which failed to leave his eyes, "you had us all worried for a moment there Az. We thought-" Cassian's voice broke as he swallowed back a cry, ". . . We thought we'd lot you."

"How did I get. . .? Y/N. She found me!"

Azriel struggled to put together the pieces of what happened after he was stabbed.

There was darkness, an impending sense of doom, and then a sudden burst of light. But there, somewhere in between his jumbled memories, Azriel had seen you. He was sure of it.

"Y/N?" Cassian questioned, brows furrowing in confusion as his concerned gaze swelled deeper, "They weren't there Az. You travelled here with your shadows. Gave me a fright, you appeared right in front of me covered in blood and barely breathing."

"No. . ." Azriel murmured, that couldn't have been right. He saw you. He was sure of it.

"They came to visit you a few times once Madja had you stable. Maybe you're thinking of that?" Cassian reasoned, trying to reassure himself more than Azriel, preying to the cauldron that his brother hadn't gone senile.

"Yeah" Azriel lied, flashing his brother a crooked smile to soothe his worries, "Yeah you're probably right."

No amount of convincing from his brother would allow Azriel to believe anything else other than the fact that you were there to save his life. To bring him home.

But if Cassian was somehow right . . . If you really hadn't been there. Then that meant Azriel had dreamt about you. This wasn't a new occurrence, there were many nights where Azriel welcomed the sweet embrace of sleep so only to see your smiling face in his dreams. Yet his mind, in what could have been his final moments alive, thought only of you.

Of your beauty and grace. Of your welcoming nature and the sense that in finding you, Azriel was home, even when death had came to claim his soul in the wilderness of Illyria.

He liked that. The knowledge that his home wasn't a place, but a person. That wherever he was, he need only to think of you and he can allow himself to be happy.

Though despite this realization, Azriel found that he couldn't be happy. Not when he had felt this strongly about you for years and had just almost died without confessing this to you.

Nausea crawled up his throat at the prospect that he had almost left this world without knowing if you felt the same way about him as he did you. Angry at himself for pining after you for so long and making no move to show you his the true nature of his emotions.

He had been a silent admirer. Yet Azriel found himself wanting to be silent no longer.

"Did you say they were here?" he rushed the words out, the intensity of his question causing the General to sit back in shock, "where are they now?"

"Uh, I think they went to their room for a bit. I told them I'd watch over you for a bit."

Azriel wasted no time in jumping up from underneath the covers. Having learnt firsthand how precious his time really was, he wouldn't allow himself to wait another second without telling you of his devotion.

So he ran, blind to the flash of pain which coursed from his still tender wound. Unable to feel the uncomfortable twinge in his chest due to the heavy pounding of his heart.

Azriel felt no nerves nor anxiety. He was driven by his need to speak to you. A confidence settling in his heart that this was right - that everything was happening the way it was supposed to.

Every step closer to your bedroom was a step closer to his home.

So consumed by his desire to see you, Azriel neglected to knock as he entered your room. Wild eyes searching your chambers until they finally landed on your shocked expression.

~~~~~

"Oh cauldron Az, you're alright!"

A cry of relief tore from your mouth, as you closed the distance between you and the male, gently throwing your arms around him, careful not to embrace him too tightly for fear of upsetting his wound.

But Azriel didn't care. Not when he had you in his arms. So he pulled you tighter and tighter to his chest, until he could feel the gentle beat of your heart alongside his own. Needing reassurance that you were real. That he really was alive.

Once you had basked in each other's presence for long enough you pulled away, hands clasping his biceps as you moved him back to allow yourself to cast your eyes over him, ensuring that the male was actually ok.

"Should you even be out of bed? Az you need to rest!"

You made to pull him towards your own bed so he could lie down, but Azriel stopped you, holding your hand tightly to prevent you from moving from where you were stood.

"I've rested long enough" he stated with a shake of his head, consuming gaze meeting your own.

"Azriel you almost died" you argued, amazed that the male was even standing.

"I think I did die" Azriel replied, his words being enough to silence you, silvery tears lining your eyes at the thought of you almost loosing the shadowsinger.

"I think" he repeated not wanting to confirm the words which he knew out of fear of upsetting you, "I saw them. Death. They wanted to take me but . . . I couldn't let them. So I fought back. I fought and fought until I saw you. You saved me Y/N."

"Me?" you gasped in disbelief. You had heard the tales of warriors who had narrowly escaped death, swearing that they had seen the gracious form of the Mother as they were brought back to life. Yet none of them ever claimed to see a person who was real.

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you" he concluded. If it weren't for your captivating presence drawing him towards you Azriel would have drowned in the inky orbs of death.

"I couldn't" tears had now began to fall from Azriel's own eyes, silver pearls trailing down his cheeks, "I couldn't leave. Not without seeing you again. Not without saying goodbye. It's all I could think about."

A sob broke from your lips, amazed that Azriel's last thoughts before death were only of you.

"I didn't care how badly wounded I was" he spoke truthfully, hands still clinging onto yours as if they were a lifeline, "They could have stolen my wings. Taken my sanity. Broken my spirt. But none of that would have made a difference. None of that would stop me from crawling home to you. No amount of ropes and chains could hold me back, not when it meant seeing you on the other side."

It was impossible not to feel an overwhelming surge of love at the sincerity of his words. At the desperation which flooded in his eyes, begging you to believe him. Pleading for you to feel the same way.

"My love for you knows no bounds. Life or death, you are always with me, and I will never fail to find you" he promised. Certain that if he could conquer death with only the desire to be at your side, he would be able to fight anything.

"You did it Az" you beamed, hands dropping his only to come and rest on his dampened cheeks, "You came home to me. Our love transcends all worlds. Heaven, hell, purgatory, we'll find each other in every single one of them I promise. Because I am never letting you go again."

You couldn't. Not when you had already almost lost him. You would never lose Azriel again. Yet you could be happy with the thought, that if the situation were to ever happen again, that you could be his guiding beacon. Leading Azriel back to you. Leading him back home.

[howtofightwrite]

For a character that virtually can’t die and regenerates in order to keep living, how do you make action interesting? Emphasize they still feel pain, why they’re doing it?

I'm actually going to step back a bit from this question first, and complement it. This is a very honest question, and something most writers who include violence in their work, should really think about. Even if you don't think you have characters like this, you do.

Now, I'm going to dunk on Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw for a moment. Ages ago (I think it was in one of his Resistance reviews), Yahtzee described, “threatening to blow up the world,” as the laziest form of raising the stakes. Because, “hey, I live on a world.” He's mostly correct. Threatening your protagonist's life is even lazier. In the vast majority of cases, your audience knows you won't go through with it. That you won't kill off your protagonists.

With that in mind, when you decide your protagonist is completely immortal, that changes less about how you write them than you might expect. The biggest difference is simply that they're directly aware of their plot armor, rather than them engaging in faux indecision based on their perceived mortality. Again, this is something that every writer who uses violence should think about, at least a bit. It is natural for a character to fear for their life, and have reservations about risking their life, but making the part where your character's lives are on the line isn't automatically suspenseful. In a lot of cases (consciously or not), your audience will call your bluff, when you threaten to kill off a major character.

If you think back to major character deaths where something drops them without warning, part of what makes those scenes work is the lack of (apparent) setup. The writer didn't spend pages teasing you with the idea, they just went for the throat and ended that character on the spot. This is more respectful of your audience, because you're not telling them, “well, I might kill this character, or I might not.”

To be clear, I'm not saying that there's no place for teasing your audience with a character's impending demise, just pointing out that in a lot of cases, this won't generate the kind of suspense you'd hope for.

So, to get back on topic, how do you make it interesting? Remember that while this character can't die, the same is not true for the characters around them. Depending on the tone you're going for, you could create an absolutely brutal crucible effect, where everyone around your immortal gets burned off, sooner or later. Whether that's literal, or figurative, is up to you. Even if your character can't die, watching people they care about suffer and die is going to have an effect on them.

You probably don't need to draw special attention to the physical pain they experience, but you do want to be aware of it. Especially in the context of how pain affects the victim's behavior. Beyond that, there is probably an element of pain being far more annoying to the immortal than it would be to a normal person. They know it's not telling them anything meaningful, but it is distracting.

Long-term, both of these can easily result in personality shifts. And, legitimately, this is a scenario where a character may be immortal, but they would still experience significant changes over time, and with the growing emotional pain, could have very adverse effects on your personality. This does have some very real, “live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” potential. How many friends can you lose before you stop caring? How many funerals can you attend before you start taking the phrase, “you're either part of the solution or part of the problem,” a little too far? How many times can you pick yourself up off the pavement a blood-covered alleyway, surrounded by corpses, before you start to forget what made you human in the first place?

And, that's not the only option. The simplest answer for maintaining tension when one of your characters is immortal is keeping your eye on what they're trying to accomplish. Keep track of their objectives, because I guarantee they can fail those. Even just keeping their own nature concealed from the mortal world is probably fairly important, because of the idea that men in hazmat suits will drag them away to some research lab and poke them until they figure out how to replicate their immortality, is a classic (and potentially plausible) threat. (Bonus points, if you're wanting to loop in something like the medieval inquisitions, or some other secret societies that could pose this kind of a threat.)

So, what do you do? To dig out an old cliché threat, “there are fates worse than death,” and it's probably worth exploring them. This also opens up new possibilities for threats. Finally, it's worth remembering that immortality does not guarantee success. If your character is hoping for that, it might be time to give them a very harsh lesson.

-Starke

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[mikkomacko]

need a sequel to the NYE nico fic ! like maybe she tells him she’s pregnant on valentines day

Well this definitely got away from me but ask and you shall receive!

Nico Hischier x reader

Warnings: smut, daddy kink, breeding kink

Part two of this Next part

You can hear him pacing through the door. Maybe it would have been better to just let him wait in the bathroom but you couldn’t risk ruining your surprise. Even if it meant you had to drive Nico insane for a couple days.

Besides, he seems to play better hockey when he’s frustrated anyway, something you’ve always admired. Nico doesn’t shut down and run in the face of adversity, he pushes harder and harder, grows even more stubborn than he already is.

Which is how you ended up with a daily sex schedule on a shared doc after Nico discovered that his drunken New Years Eve romp wasn’t as successful as he thought it’d be. He was determined, and you weren’t complaining. You’d take any chance to have set pillow princess time with Captain Nico.

“Please tell me it’s been 10 minutes?” He whines through the door, and you bite back a giggle at his tone. The pregnancy test you’d just taken rests on the counter in front of you, a bright and clear positive sign on it.

Butterflies swarm in your chest, your suspicions true after the past couple days of tender breasts and raging hormones. You have to swallow a couple times to clear away any happy tears, quietly stuffing the positive test in your old box of tampons.

“Like two more minutes, Nico hold on.” You call back, deciding to hide the test in your bathroom junk drawer instead. Nico has taken up the habit of checking your tampons and pads to see if you started your period lately and the last thing you need is him ruining his present.

After tucking it away, you fish out the negative one from awhile back that you saved just for this. Steeling yourself, you force the smile on your lips into a frown.

“Nico,” you say softly, your voice cracking because you do feel bad lying to him and you feel like crying over anything and everything right now.

“Yeah?” He calls back through the door and you can practically see him pressed into it on the other side. “Come out please? I need to see you.”

You flick the lock and open the door, clutching the negative test in your fist. Nico is crowded in the door way, big brown eyes already looking at you with an unusual droopiness. He doesn’t even look for the test in your hand, just takes in the tears in your eyes and the way you’re biting your lip nervously.

“Aw baby,” he mumbles, opening his arms for you. You step into his embrace, resting your cheek against his chest and wrapping your arms around him. He squeezes you tightly, large biceps caging your body to his and his fingers tangle in your hair. He nuzzles into the top of your head, and you feel his chest rise with deep breaths as he pulls himself together.

“I’m sorry Nico,” you say, sincerely knowing he’ll think you’re apologizing for not being pregnant. But you’re more apologizing for lying to him, for disappointing him one last time.

“No,” he says firmly, and you let him wordlessly walk you towards the bed. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. We’ll get it, I know we will.”

And there’s that determination. You lighten up a bit at that, realizing that maybe this didn’t hurt him as much as you thought it would. Pulling back from his embrace, you look up at him to find a wetness in his eyes that wasn’t there before and your heart falls to your stomach. Instinctively, you press your palm into your belly, wincing at the way your gut twists with guilt.

Frowning, Nico takes your wrist and pulls your hand back, placing it over his heart instead. His heart thuds against the pads of your fingers, strong and steady like him.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” you whisper, looking down at your hand. He’s in the same black shirt he wore that night at the bar. You almost smile, thinking about how sweet and excited he was about starting a family.

“Not crying,” he insists “just a little water.”

You laugh gently, meeting his gaze again to find him smiling. “That is crying, for you.” You argue and he scoffs, shaking his head.

“No, you’ll see real bawling like a baby tears from me when we get our baby.” He promises. “And I don’t want hear sorry then either.”

You simply nod, heart warming at his words. Nico’s always so positive, so ready to take on anything with you. Prepared, he’s always a step ahead. You hope that this time you’ll finally catch him lagging. He’s a hard man to surprise.

“Give me a kiss and let me take you bed.” He requests, tapping the top of your head like you’re one of his teammates that’s just scored a goal. Giggling, you stretch up to seal your lips with his, sinking into the haze that is Nico in love. You don’t even pay attention to him slipping the negative test from your hand until he’s pulling back from the kiss and hiding it behind his back.

“Fresh start,” he says, stepping around you to take it to the bathroom. He tosses it in the trash, flicking off the light before joining you at the bottom of the bed.

“Thank you,” you murmur, kissing his chin before taking him by the hand to his side of the bed. Instead of climbing over to yours, you peel back the blankets and lay against his pillow. Taking a moment to fluff everything how you like, you open your legs for him and pat your thighs.

His eyes crinkle with his laugh, cheeks turning pink and you giggle when he knees way on top of you. You give him a sec to settle in, laying on his tummy between your thighs with his elbows on either side of your head.

“Night my love.” He whispers, resting his nose against yours and pecking at the corner of your mouth. You pull the blankets up over him, letting him reach over to flick off the lamp before he slides further down your body in the darkness.

Nico rests his head on your chest, one hand holding your thigh and the other sliding under the small of your back. He can’t stay like that all night but for now he’ll try.

“Night neeks,” you mumble into the top of his head, closing your eyes and stroking your fingers up and down his broad back. He adjusts his head, a curious noise coming from his mouth.

After a moment, his voice breaks the stillness.

“I thought you were pregnant,” he whispers, and you hum to let him know you’re listening. “Your boobs are bigger,” he continues and you blink your eyes open to stare at the ceiling.

Of course he’d fucking notice that.

“And you cum really fast now,” he adds as an afterthought. “Like really fast, always so wet too. I don’t even have to try anymore.”

Of course he’d notice that too. And it’d be hot, the cockiness of his words if they didn’t drip with disappointed confusion.

“Oh,” you mumble, unsure of what to say.

“Maybe we should see someone?” He prods, and his fingers nervously stroke over your thigh. You realize he’s feeling insecure about this, about not being able to get to you pregnant. He feels at fault, like he needs help somehow. Your heart almost breaks at the thought and you so badly want to tell him the truth.

When you don’t respond he continues, “I just, not that I think anything is wrong with us but I…”

You bury your other hand in his hair, scratching his scalp to soothe him.

“I want this so badly,” he confesses. “And I want it now.”

Guilty and unsure of what to do, you hold him tighter. “I know Nico. But it hasn’t been that long and maybe we just need to try more?”

“Yeah,” he agrees quietly “yeah but I think I’m still gonna do research, ok?”

You smile in the darkness. Always ready to go, to do more. You’d expect nothing less of him.

“Ok baby,” you agree “now get some rest for tomorrow. That schedule of yours has us down for like 3 times.”

He giggles boyishly and you swoon like a school girl. “Not that you need it since I’m apparently easy now.”

Nico snuggles further into your chest. “Nah think I’ve just spoiled you with good dick too often now.”

You can’t deny his words so you just kiss his forehead, shushing him to sleep. Hopefully you can keep up this act for the next couple days.

~

Nico came home to a romantic dinner on Valentine’s Day. This year it was your turn to plan, so you’d made his favorite pasta dish and set the table up all nice and pretty with pink and red confetti and candles and heart balloons.

Dressed up in his favorite little red silk dress you owned, you two talked and laughed over dinner, him sipping his beer and you water as you simply caught up on everything. You’re lucky to have Nico as both your lover and best friend, it makes conversation easy and fun, and kept it away from the topic of a baby. You figured a break from it would be refreshing, especially after that damn schedule of his had almost half the day blocked away for sex.

“Extra on the day of love,” he’d explained with an innocent smile and you let him be.

You needed him happy and distracted until dessert. And he was, so happy he didn’t even notice your lack of alcohol or the way your hormones had your eyes on his lips and half unbuttoned dress shirt all night.

Finally, at dessert you sealed the deal. Perched up on the kitchen counter with your legs swinging, you dipped a mini marshmallow into the chocolate fondue he made. Popping it into your mouth, you admired him as he poured two glasses of sparkling cider, in a bottle you made look like champagne.

Nico handed you your glass, parting his lips for a bite of chocolate covered strawberry that you fed him. You caught his lips right after, enjoying the sweet taste of dessert on his tongue.

“You know,” he murmured “I think we’ve still got an hour on the calendar.”

You laughed, peeling back from him to take a drink from your glass. Nico watched you with big moony eyes, dimples in his cheeks and his free hand wandered to your hip to hold you. Catching the way his eyes fell to your cleavage, you kicked at his thigh to keep him from staring too long. The last thing you need is him noticing that your boobs have grown even bigger in the last two days.

“Drink your champagne and then maybe,” you instruct and he huffs, rolling his eyes before bringing the glass to his lips. You watch him take a drink, notice the way his eyebrows furrow and he quietly smacks his lips afterwards.

Looking at you curiously, he frowns. “Baby this isn’t alcoholic?” He takes another drink before you can answer, still smacking his lips before setting the glass down.

“What?” You play along, slinking down from the counter and moving to the other side of the island. Nico pays you no mind, grabbing the bottle off the counter and lifting it to read the back of the label.

“What kind even is this?” He mutters, ever the Swiss wine critic and you smile as you dig out the positive test from where you hid it in the kitchen drawer.

Bouncing on your toes, you return to his side just as he turns the bottle to the front. It takes him a moment to fully read it. The custom label you made that in fancy lettering reads

Baby on the way!

Congrats daddy!

2024

“What?” He mutters confused, but you can feel the excitement bubbling in his chest as the words start to click.

“This might help,” you offer, placing the test on the counter in front of him. You attach yourself to his back, arms around his waist as you bite back a smile. Nico immediately picks it up, and you feel his whole body tense.

“No fucking way,” he mumbles, bottle and test clattering to the countertop. Nico shakes your hold off, spinning around to you. “Baby w-what? Are you-what?”

He grabs your face between his palms, eyes already filled with happy tears as they bore into your own watery ones.

“We’re pregnant Nico.” You confirm, laughing wetly. It’s as if he’s unsure of what to even do with himself, going between clutching your smiling face and raking his fingers through your hair. Finally he settles for wrapping you up in his arms, spinning you around the kitchen and hopping around like a giddy child.

You paw at his neck and shoulders, needing something to hold onto because he feels like he’s going to float up to the ceiling with you in his arms.

“We’re having a baby!” He cheers through a laugh “A baby! My baby!”

By the time he’s placed you back on the ground you’re breathless and dizzy from laughing. You cling to him, happy tears rolling down your cheeks and you’re so glad you decided on no makeup tonight.

Tear tracks stain his cheeks, his smile so big you think it might fall off his face and his neck has gotten all red and splotchy from excitement. You coo at him, tracing your fingers over it as if trying to soothe him.

“How long? I mean just the other day-“

“I lied,” you admit, frowning guiltily. “The test I showed you was old but I wanted to surprise you. I know you wanted this as a birthday gift so I figured I’d just make it a Valentine’s Day gift. I’m so sorry-“

His lips cut you off, sweet and passionate as he teasingly traces his tongue over your bottom lip. Nico backs you up into the countertop, moaning softly when your chest presses into his.

“No apologies,” he insists when he pulls back, still smiling. “This is the best gift.” He kisses you again, softer and shorter this time.

“Do you know how long?”

You play with the top button of his shirt. “I haven’t gone to like a doctor or anything. I only realized it last week and I took that test two nights ago but I think I’m a little over a month.”

A shit eating grin overtakes his face. “News Year Eve I knew it!” He exclaims, kissing at your cheeks and you laugh. “Or maybe my birthday. God we were so good on my birthday.”

“We’re always good,” you argue, pressing your front into him. You can feel the bulge of his cock in his jeans against your lower stomach but you don’t comment on it, waiting for him to do so.

“Yeah,” he agrees thoughtfully, eyes raking over your face. You bat your eyes at him, smiling shyly until he chuckles.

“I’m hard,” he admits as if you didn’t know. You hum your agreement, slowly working the other buttons of his shirt undone.

“Let’s go take care of it,” you murmur into his ear, breathy when you add a sly “daddy” to the end. Nico’s knees shake, a painful groan escaping his red lips and he’s scooping you up and hurrying to the bedroom.

You whine, pointing toward the couch and kicking your feet in protest. “It was so much closer,” you complain and he grunts in disgust.

“Not fucking my pregnant girl on the couch on Valentine’s Day,” he argues, tossing you gently into the pillows. “M’gonna take good care of ya.”

Shamelessly, you watch him unbutton the rest of his shirt and strip it from his body, squeezing your thighs together as he moves onto his jeans. He drops them and his boxers in one go, eager as he crowds over you on the bed, cock red and dripping as he goes.

You almost moan at the sight of him, hungry and desperate for him despite how often he’s been between your thighs lately. Nico notices, simpering as he works your dress up your thighs and torso, revealing the white panties you wore underneath with a simple red heart on the front. You’d forgone a bra early today, knowing it would just be uncomfortable and awkward and Nico mumbles his appreciation when he gets the dress up around your neck.

His lips find the swell of your left breast, kissing gently at the swollen flesh as he blindly works your clothing over your head.

“My pretty girl,” he says more to himself than you, moving to the other breast as you toss the dress to the floor. “God I knew something was different.”

You laugh, tangling his hair in your fingers and drawing his mouth up to yours. He kisses you sloppily, hands moving to your underwear. Nico doesn’t even tease you before he’s pushing them down and you help wiggle out of them impatiently.

Your cunt throbs, wet and raw and desperate to feel him again and again. You whimper into his lips, slinging a leg around his waist to draw him closer.

“Need you now, Nico please.” You beg as his mouth moves to your neck. His hand blindly reaches down to fist himself, and he obediently obliges your begging by burying his cock in you, one swift motion.

You gasp for a breath as your toes tingle, pleasure swirling in your belly and Nico moans in your ear, voice husky and broken. He’s just as desperate as you.

“So fucking wet, Jesus,” he mutters in astonishment, lifting himself to watch you writhe beneath him. “All needy and horny for the cock that put a baby in you? Always ready for me weren’t you? Should fill you up, put another one in you right now huh?”

You slur some sort of agreement, as least something intelligible enough for Nico. His dirty mouth continues, working you tighter and tighter as he steadily ruts into you.

“Did I take care of you sweetheart?” He asks lowly, mouth hot against your ear. “Before? When I didn’t know?”

Your jumbled, sex fogged brain clicks for just a moment. He’s not just talking dirty, not trying to get you to cum. He genuinely wants to know if he fucked you good enough all those times before. When he didn’t know you were dripping into the mattress because your pregnancy brain was all hot and bothered over him 24/7. Because he was so focused on just putting a baby in you that he didn’t pay attention to the fact he already had.

“Yes!” You gasp, digging your fingers into his shoulders. You meet his gaze, eyes glossy and wild with love. “So good Nico, every time. Felt like you knew.”

His hips slow, rocking into you softy. “Yeah?”

You nod, frantically, the slow drag of his cock against your sensitive walls driving you mad. “Didn’t even notice,” you admit to him, earnestly “but you got so soft, so strong and instinctive like…”

Like a parent, you realize. He always fucked you like he was trying to thank you for giving him something so precious while also taking care of you.

“Like I wanted to make you feel so fucking good without hurting our baby.” He fills in, because he’s realized it too. His mind may have been in the dark before, but his body wasn’t.

“Can I cum?” You ask pathetically, fighting to keep your eyes from rolling to the back of your head. Nico coos at you, sympathetic and gentle when he slots his mouth to yours for a quick nip at your lips.

“Always, can always cum for me baby.” He promises, pressing his chest down low to yours. His knees dig into the mattress, steeling himself as he draws his cock out to the tip and then fucks into you with earnest.

You cry out, the head of him nudging into you so perfectly you could melt. Nico kisses you as best he can around your blubbering noises of pleasure, the flames of your orgasm licking at your core.

Nico’s fingers find your clit, the pads of them rubbing tight circles in time with his thrusts. White bursts behind close eyes, your toes curling and ears roaring as you reach your high.

“Ooh,” Nico breathes into the side of your face “yes sweetheart, come on my cock. So good, you’re so good to me.”

The rest of his needy mumbles are lost to you, your mind occupied with the wave of pleasure that sweeps over you, pulsing with each pass of Nico’s fingers and each thrust of his hips.

Foggy and hazy you hear him whimper, find enough of yourself to kiss him slowly as his cock twitches and throbs, filling you with his cum. His lips are languid and hot against yours, broken breaths and moans falling from them as you both come down.

Finally he settles into your neck, taking one last deep breath before he’s holding you tight to his body and rolling to his back. You go with him easily, falling into his chest like a rag doll and curling up. Unsure if it’s him enjoying the moment or habit by now, you sit comfortably on his softening cock with no protest, exhaustion pulling at your bones already.

“All I want to do lately is jump your bones or sleep,” you mumble to him, yawning afterwards. His chest rumbles with laughter, hands running up and down your spine in some unknown pattern.

“I can live with that,” he says, “like fucking you so good you get all sleepy afterwards. Snuggle into me so nicely.”

You smile, eyes falling shut as you curl your arms around him. The room falls silent save for the sound of you two still catching you breaths, and the rise and fall of his chest is lulling you to sleep when he speaks up.

“Thank you,” he whispers “for giving me a baby.”

You can hear the emotion in his voice, how it sticks in his throat and weighs down his words. If you look at him you don’t imagine he’d be crying, but pretty damn close you think.

“Don’t thank me until the baby is here,” you reply, and than just because you can feel him starting to slip from between your thighs you add. “Besides, this is the work of you and the pretty cock of yours.”

Nico jolts as if you’d just pinched him, hips pressing up into you and his cock twitches with interest. You giggle, amused at his predictability as he whimpers.

“You’re gonna have fun with this aren’t you?” He asks but he doesn’t sound too upset.

Tired and content, you nod. This is going to be a fucking blast.