#grief is weird and hard and will mess you up

[serialkillerbettycooper]

How would it have changed things for Betty if Alice died suddenly like Fred before the time jump?

I think this depends heavily on whether we're placing this somewhere in the first three seasons and Hal is still alive, or in season four or the first few episodes of season five.

To go with the latter because I think that's what you meant with the wording, with Alice dying right before Betty graduates high school, I think it doesn't change that much at least on a basic sequence of events level - Betty still goes to Yale and then the FBI academy - but she feels more... unmoored, I think. Betty is someone who is so deeply defined by what her parents tried to make her (Hal trying to groom her into serial killing, Alice attempting to counteract it by holding her to extremely high expectations and attempting to retain strict control over her social life and self-expression) and the ways she pushes back against their expectations. That doesn't entirely change with both Hal and Alice dead, but it does mean that the only Hal and Alice left to push back against are the ones who live in her memory. And to quote ITWV, memory is a monster.

Betty feels haunted. I already think a lot about Betty and the rest of the Core Four during the timeskip, in the world outside of Riverdale, about the massive gulf that has to exist between them and everyone who grew up outside of Riverdale. Betty in particular, going by how Alice and Polly describe her as having left and not being a part of their lives during the timeskip, tried to embrace that fresh start and distance herself from Riverdale and everything that happened to her there. (This, of course, doesn't work. She's still pursuing a career in the FBI and Glenn is primarily interested in her precisely because of who her family is). I think a Betty without Alice doesn't go as far in that direction. Betty, no matter how absurdly awful Alice has been to her, always comes back around to wanting to give Alice another chance, to get Alice to let her in, to have a real relationship with her. Even when she was barely in Alice and Polly's lives, I don't think she ever really intended on closing that door permanently. And that's exactly what Alice's death does.

Betty loses the chance of ever reconciling with her, of ever coming to really understand her as she was, of ever getting to have a conversation with her as an adult who has experienced life outside the town she grew up in. And Betty will never get to ask her unanswered questions about her childhood, will never know to what extent Alice knew about Hal and his grooming of Betty. I think Alice's death would be a catalyst to Betty digging deeper into her childhood earlier, trying to understand her and to her remember her and how to feel about her legacy, and thus I don't think Betty distances herself from Riverdale as much. Without Alice, I think she's closer with Polly (maybe not right away, but they'd get there), comes home to visit more often, helps with the twins here and there, maybe even goes to Pop's and drinks a milkshake over a deeply awkward conversation with Jughead (at least if the infamous 'cold fake duplicitous bitch' voicemail hasn't happened yet, I don't think Alice's death would alter the trajectory of Bughead much). It's not enough to change the trajectory of the town, maybe not even enough to change Polly's fate. But it's something. It's there. And god, it makes Polly's disappearance all the more heart-wrenching for Betty.

I genuinely wasn't planning this conclusion when I started writing this, but I think that might really do it, push Betty over the edge into snapping and embracing her 'darkness'. She already spends season five toe-ing the line. I think in this universe she tumbles straight-over it and into cold-blooded murder. And, honestly, could you really blame her?

[o-sunny-day]

@forgettable-au FAN ANIMATION ! LOUD NOISE WARNING!

*What was it all for…?

Song: Vishnu <3 by Peter Cat Recording Co.

…okay.

The main inspiration for this…can be summed up with I LOVE HOW SAD THIS CONCEPT IS. BUT i also adore how WEIRD it is.

This whole thing must be pretty weird and creepy for the characters right??? Like- we dont know for certain what EXACTLY is gonna happen, but we know for a fact that Wingdings finds out hes in a game, then kills himself so he can be closer with god-

THATS PRETTY WEIRD 😭😭 also sad but we can ignore that for now

I also experimented a tad with this in working with silence, so timing things at my own pace! It was really hard! I HAD SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!

But, time for my FAVORITE PART….ANALYSIS!!!

DISCLAIMER: some things stated as fact haven’t been said in the blog/arent canon to the au itself, just my animation/theories/interpretation, cause i’m silly and headcanoning :3

TITLE:

The proper title ive given this is “To You” which means 2 different and very vague things. What happened to you? and sending a message like “this is To You”.

In that case, “you” is whichever version of Papyrus/Wingdings/Gaster you want- Its not exactly clear which version of him means “you” which is kinda the point. The lines blur together sometimes…

But yeah, Gaster/crazy WD sends messages TOO himself so they’re “To You”

CONTEXT

Wingdings has JUST turned himself into Gaster. Ignore how impossible Sans interacting with him in this moment is, and just hear me out on the angst possibilities-

SCENE 1

As Sans approaches the mess- Gaster is encased in shadow, and looks at him. Expression not telling much- just looking blankly. Doesn’t even look like he’s alive… just… moving. Also the eye thats open, is just a slit. because- perspective. BUT I also had fun putting that there and going hehehehe it looks like WD/Papyrus’ eye

Sans approaches, and getting engulfed in the shadow, leaving the light.

His expression here was REALLY fun and REALLY hard to draw. Angry? maybe. stunned and terrified? DEFINITELY.

In this context (that doesn’t have a lot to go off of with the comics, YET) Sans knows that this was all very much intentional. He absolutely does not want to be angry, and is certainly only feeling it subconsciously.

But… he wanted so badly to understand, and enter his brother world. But now, Sans is just… Baffled. Hes like “what the fuck did you do???”

SCENE 2

Gaster continues to look blank. Looking up at Sans as he approaches, encasing him in even more shadow.

Sans’ hand reaches to Gasters face. From Sans’ perspective, his intentions are like checking for a pulse. Not literally ofc cause pulses arent on our face- but like, feeling for him. For a sign that something is there. (It’s also meant to be something motherly/comforting)

But then, Gaster leans into the touch, somewhat reciprocating this wordless “ive got you” gesture. That’s what makes Sans go from Terrified to just purely grief stricken. His brother is still alive. And he loves him.

But this form wont last for long…For universe fixing screw ups reasons :D 👍

SCENE 3

Gaster then opens his eyes, revealing hes even still got eye lights available for him. Thats what just SHATTERS the dam, and Sans embraces him suddenly.

SCENE(S) 4

Then, the “reset” happens, Gaster is gone, and Papyrus appears in place of Wingdings in his bed.

Nothing is boiling to add to a “frozen in terror” feeling!

Now- drawing all of the differences between the past and present rooms. DESTROYED ME. i HAD SO MUCH FUN BUT I ALSO CRIED 😭 There are no thank-you letters to santa, no racecar bed, no silly bone painting, no action figures, just BORING

I also wanted to keep everything monochromatic, so ofc we’ve got black and white for the void/Gaster, blue for Sans, red for Papyrus, and purple for Sans and Papyrus together.

The tape recorder and lab coat are still greyscale though cause Wingdings still has SOME of his stuff lying around. But the tapes are indecipherable, and Papyrus threw out that lab coat the first chance he got. It gave him the absolute worst feeling, worse than anything he’s ever experienced.

Something I also really enjoy is the fact that the dress shirts were still technically Wingdings’ but they’re red for Papyrus. The lab coat is the only real WINGDINGS thing that Papyrus wants absolutely no part in. Some things that were Wingdings’ are now Papyrus’ cause :D👍

in place of the bone painting are just family photos that I also have extra to say about. Someday I wanna make a comic of what happened to those/what I think would happen to em.

One day Papyrus is like “HEY UH- SANS! THESE PHOTOS! I DON’T LIKE LOOKING AT THEM! CAN WE NOT!?” Aka, he doesn’t remember these things happening/these photos being taken… BUT THEYRE PHOTOS OF HIM.

So he just feels really uncomfortable looking at memories he should reasonably remember, but doesn’t at all- and Sans gets that. But he keeps em in his drawer. Then! they hung up the bone thing in place of it cause SILLY!

But the family photos, I still had fun with. From left to right theyre a photo of Semi with the twins, the twins as baby bones, then as slightly older kids, then WDs graduation photo.

CONCLUSION!

This entire thing was so much fun, and I feel i’ve really grown as an artist over the process of experimenting and not being knocked down by annoying setbacks,

Also, as usual, Works In Progress’ plus extra behind the scenes stuff will be posted shortly after this!! YIPPEEE!!! HAPPY NIGHTMARES!!!!!

OHHHH ALSO EXTRA ART!!!

“AREN’T THEY BEAUTIFUL?”

That silly moment when your clone is really weirdly obsessed with stars and enthusiastically holds your eye sockets open to show you them

[knoxic]

How to be a High Lady?

How they met

Eris Vanserra x Mate!Reader (f)

Summary: How they met and her discovering the bond.

wc: 3k

warnings: death of family members, fire (non explicit house burning/death by fire), cursing

a/n: Eris being 🤭😍😁😝🤗 whenever she's like 🤨🙄😠😒 is so important to me

part 1, part 2

For months now she tried to put herself back together, trying to move on, but being alone was hard, especially for someone who had always been surrounded by people. Her coven was her family, its oldest members helped her mother give birth to her, helped raise her, its youngest had grown up with her, they all made her who she was now. And they were gone.

Gone, and she wasn't even there to witness it. She was far away, traveling, enjoying everything there was to enjoy, not a single drop of worry in her head, after all, they had promised they'd be fine. She didn't even come back straight away, no, it was weeks after, their house had stopped burning long ago, what was left of it stood black and cold, filled with ashes and sorrow.

She had found herself a place to live but she didn't remember how she did it, everything seemed so... unrealistic, never did it cross her mind that this could happen to them. Days after she came back, when she absolutely needed to get food, she went out in the village to the same place her coven used to go, no one recognized her, maybe they never really pay attention to her or they just didn't care, a way or another, she was glad no one looked her way twice. On the way to her new home she heard whispers about a witch who lived in Autumn, thinking it was her, she stopped and pretended to be examining the bread basket they had placed in front of their bakery.

"Do you think she cursed him? I did see him limping yesterday." One of the males spoke, his voice had a weird accent, from another court then.

"What are you? An idiot?" The baker slapped him in the back of his neck, "That cripple always limped! I heard he asked her to fix his fucked up leg but she couldn't, so he did that." His hands, sprinkled with flour, gestured behind the other male, as if pointing to said 'that'. Her shaky hands dropped the apple she held, the direction the male pointed led to her old house, which meant that whoever this cripple was, he had burned her house, he killed her family.

She ran, faster than she ever had before. Her legs only stopping when her feet met the dirty floor, the rain and wind from the past few weeks had gathered around the ruins laying there, the walls had turned moldy, weeds grew where the tiles had broken. It was all a mess, and still her knees touched it, her arms braced her body, the bare skin of her thighs had gotten wet but she couldn't decide if it was from her tears or the rain, which she didn't even realize had started. She looked up, droplets of rain caressing her face, the sky lighting up with a roaring thunder.

She redeemed herself that day, not feeling sorry for herself for losing her family, she only felt sorry for the way they died and how early it had been for some of them. She found out her old neighbors had buried their bodies in the backyard of their house, their tombs placed one beside the other, straight away she went to her house to gather what she needed for a proper funeral, so that their souls could finally rest.

After that day she busied herself with work, working as a healer for the village, subtly gathering information about her family's murderer, filling herself with knowledge, learning whatever witchcraft she hadn't been taught and anything else that could be useful in the future.

At night it was difficult to shut her brain off, the only time she couldn't distract herself from the grief by focusing on other people's pain. Lately, whenever she managed to sleep, basically passing out from exhaustion, her visions came in the form of dreams, most of them just showed her what kind of help her clients needed. That was until she started seeing red.

A faceless head surrounded by red hair haunted her dreams, resembling a bird's nest from how messy it was, the noise of crackling fire in the background. It had been a week now and she couldn't manage to have a dreamless sleep, she never complained about seeing another person's life, she actually liked seeing their memories, most of the time it allowed her to see life in a different perspective, sometimes it wasn't a good one, but she still learned something new every time. Now she was really starting to hate these memories, whoever it was that demanded her attention was starting to get really annoying.

She set aside her job to focus entirely on the vision, spending her afternoons walking around the villages instead, occasionally stopping at restaurants or bakeries, visiting libraries and sitting around whenever she found a bench. Not once had there been any indication of who this person could be besides their hair, she didn't even know their gender, she caught a blur of the pale skin of a pointy ear but that was all.

If it wasn't for the tasty foods she got to try, her time would've been completely wasted. She met a redhead once but her hair was way too perfect, completely different from the one on her dreams, and she didn't seem in need of anything. After a whole week, she gave up, started meditating instead, clearing her mind and focusing her thoughts on that annoying redhead, wishing that whoever it was, would find their way to her.

For a couple nights, the dreams stopped, maybe it was the herbs tea she had been drinking before bed, or maybe they had fixed their problem themselves and didn't need her help anymore. The next morning she woke up and decided she'd spend the day in her village again, just to be sure.

The day had been going relatively normal, as soon as she stepped out of bed she started feeling a little lightheaded but didn't think too much of it, now as she walked through a small trail on the way home, a path she rarely took, she felt dizzy, her heart beating so hard she could barely hear anything else. She knew there was a bench a few meters away, if she walked a little faster maybe she'd managed before passing out, but she wasn't in that trail anymore, now she stood in front of a cabin. A very cozy looking cabin, from the open curtains she could see a male placing logs in the fireplace, it was too dark to see his face so she stood silently until he started the fire, she didn't know what she expected but... his hands lighting up with flames definitely didn't cross her mind. The log he held caught fire immediately, the male seemed to have no rush in placing it with the other logs, his eyes reflecting the flames like they also burned.

Her sight got blurry again and the familiar forest appeared around the edges, his face being the only thing clear, she couldn't, wouldn't, look away. The red strands of hair that brushed against his delicate eyelashes, his perfect nose, his flushed cheekbones, his perfect plump lips and his captivating golden eyes, she was fascinated.

"Are you alright?" A rough voice snapped her out of whatever that was. Only now noticing she had crouched down, one of her hands braced on her knee, the other massaged her eyes, trying to clear her sight.

"I asked you a question." The male demanded, a warm hand, way too hot to be normal, touched her shoulder.

"Yes, sorry," she closed her eyes and shook her head lightly, "Just dizzy, I guess." She giggled, amazed that she was so struck by a male she'd never seen before, and it was only a vision.

When her eyes opened, she was met with a the cleanest pair of boots she had ever seen, even with pieces of leaves stuck under the soles it still shined, beside his feet was paws. A heavy breathing close to her ear made her jump, her shaky legs pulling herself up and away from the small smokehound who tried jumping on her, landing on their owner's outstretched hand.

"Forgive me, he's young," the male adjusted the hound on his arms, cradling it like a baby. "I'm still training him." He said, locking eyes with her.

Those burning golden eyes that she saw just moments ago were now amber, looking at her so intensely she almost backed away.

"What?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed. She supposed having a stranger stare her down would make her uncomfortable too.

"Sorry, I thought–"

"You keep apologizing..." he muttered, looking almost annoyed.

"I had seen you before." Her voice sounded weak, she was still processing that the male she had been literally dreaming about was right there, not to mention that the most vivid vision she ever had had just happened and it was about him.

Why?

"Well, you might have."

"Who are you?" She questioned and could swear he almost seemed offended.

"I– You don't know who I am?" He lifted an eyebrow, his lips curling into a smirk. Gods, he really was annoying.

"I should?"

He laughed, a deep sound that she swore she could feel in her bones, the hound in his arms whined at being disturbed from his sleep.

"Yes." He dropped the puppy to the floor, her eyes followed the motion and finally seeing the many other hounds who surrounded the male, what the fuck?  "I'm Eris Vanserra." He gave out his hand for her to shake.

"Ah..." His hand on hers felt wonderful, a comfortable touch she hadn't felt in over a year. She distantly heard herself telling him her name but her mind was wholly focused on his touch, the firm grip he had on her hand, the calloused fingers that somehow still felt soft. Why was it so confusing? Not only was he the annoying male that prevented her from sleeping peacefully, he was also irritatingly beautiful. The Mother must be laughing at her face right now. It didn't even look like he needed help!

"You still don't know, do you?" The fucking smirk still hadn't left his face.

"Uh," What even was his name again...Vanserra? Fucking shit.

It was an explicit rule in her coven that they never came close to the Vanserra family. They didn't mess with politics and royalty, their family consisted of many types of fae, even mixed ones, the High Lord hated people like them. Beron hated lesser fae and therefore the people who liked them.

"You're the High Lord's son." Any good thoughts about him were pushed to the back of her mind by guilt, what would her family think if they heard her calling him beautiful?

"And suddenly you're pulling away..." His hand dropped hers after feeling her hold go slack, "Not fun to bicker with the High Lord's son is it?" The smirk on his face turned into a sad smile, his eyes dropping to watch the hounds at his feet. Now the small horde of smokehounds made sense.

"It's not..." she felt sad for him, "It's not smart." She couldn't tell him exactly why she it wasn't fun to be around him.

"Hm, right." His hands slipped into the pockets of his chocolate colored trousers, the hound closest to him perked his ears at the move, Eris slipped a hand out and gave him a bone shaped treat, his hand went back into his pocket and fished out several more treats for the rest of them. She watched amazed.

"So, are you going to tell me why you were crouching down here looking like you would pass out?" His head still didn't down.

"I was dizzy." She said simply, he didn't need to know the reason for her dizziness.

"I gathered that. Why?" He all but rolled his eyes.

"Why what?" She snapped.

"Why were you dizzy?" She could swear she saw the corner of his lip curl upwards.

"Why do you care?" Her braced her arms against her chest, cocking her head at him, he hesitated to answer.

"I don't. Are you going home or do you plan on being here all day?" He started walking around, glancing at both sides of the trail.

"You make a lot of questions..."

"And you seem hesitant to answer them..." He finally looked her way, his eyes filled with something she couldn't exactly place. "What are you hiding?"

"Nothing you need to know." Her voice reached his ears like music, her attitude enticing him.

"I'm just teasing you, honey." He laughed, stepped closer to her, slowly enough that she could step away if she wanted to. She didn't. "May I walk you home?"

"You shouldn't." She suddenly wasn't so sure.

"That's not a no..." he cocked his head.

"That's not a yes either..." she mirrored him.

They stared at each other for a while, when his eyes drifted away from hers she took the moment to admire him, not noticing he admired her too.

"Sir..." A voice snapped them out of their little moment. The male stood a few steps away, clad in Autumn colors of armor. "The High Lord demands your presence." Eris nodded at him and he turned away, walking in the direction of her home.

"So, I should be going." Eris said after the male was far enough, the sad smile making its comeback. She wasn't sure what came over her when she answered.

"My house is that way." She looked at the corner the male had just turned.

Eris didn't say anything, only held his arm out and gave her a smirk. She took his arms and they walked silently, his smokehounds close behind, one of them keeping up with him like a shadow, the puppy found their way around her legs.

"He seems to like you, which is weird, they hate everyone." He gave her a sideways glance, "Did you enchant him or something?"

"I don't need to do that." She kept looking at the trail, pretending she didn't see him looking at her with a smile.

They reached her house in silence, a beautiful cottage, a small version of her old home, the front yard was filled with medicinal herbs, a beautiful garden she took pride on. When she tried to pull her arm away from him, his hold tightened, his hand resting on hers.

"Nice garden you got... Hm, Echinacea, Asiatic pennyworth, Calendula..." He patted her hand lightly before dropping it and looking down at her. "Are you a healer?" He smiled.

"Yes." She didn't offer more information.

"Good, always good to know a healer." He nodded. "Well, I must be going, have a good evening, My Lady. Hope to see you around." He bowed while gently lifting her fingers and kissing the back of her hand, when he straightened back his lips still carried that smile. What an adorable smile.

He turned away before she said anything, his hounds followed him with hurried steps, all but one.

"Eris!" She shouted, making him turn back quickly. "The puppy..." She pointed to the small hound at her feet, looking back at them both as if wondering why he was suddenly the sole attraction.

"Oh–" his hand rubbed the back of his neck, his mouth opened and closed but no sound came out, he glanced at another hound who didn't seem to care if the puppy was missing. "Well, keep him, he seems to like you better than me anyway." Eris laughed, his cheeks a tinged pink.

"What? No. I can't–"

"Please, if you're going to keep passing out in those woods, you might need someone to get help for you," he teased. "Besides, it would give me an excuse to see you again, I can train him for you, or teach you how to train him." She feared the smile he gave her at that moment, showing his dimples and perfect teeth, would haunt her forever.

She couldn't argue back fast enough, she wanted someone to keep her company, when she tried to reason with him he was already turning his back on her, whistling to the hounds as if showing that even if he called, the puppy wouldn't leave her.

Years later, she found herself going back home to him. That annoying redhead.

A couple months ago Eris had shown her the cabin he built for them, it was a dream they had in common, building their lives together in a small place. Eris had grown up in a large palace that never felt like a home, he hated the tall ceilings and the maze of corridors, the whole place was filled with servants and guards and still felt empty. She had grown up in a house perhaps too small for the amount of people that lived there, the children were separated into pairs, and they loved the arrangement, some of the adults were couples so they naturally shared rooms too, only her mother and another female had rooms for themselves.

They were raised in completely differently homes and yet their dreams were the same. All they needed was a house big enough to fit both of them comfortably and enough space outside to build more rooms in the future. Their love was the structure of their home and the backbone of their family.

She walked slowly with her hound, Cole, a nickname for Collected, because he's anything but collected. His tail kept bumping her leg, how he could still be excited even after walking for hours was beyond her. Her garden came into view first, then their porch, then she saw Eris from the open window. All of a sudden she was brought back to years ago, a chill running down her spine, to the first time she had a clear vision of him, the way he was moving logs around the fireplace, she remembered clearly how in the next few moments his hand would light up in fire. She had forgotten that vision thinking it was someone's old memory, but it was hers, he was lighting up the fireplace so she would come back to a warm home. Now as she stood there, Cole by her side, watching her lover, she couldn't help falling more in love with him, now she knows why this memory was shown to her that day, why it was so important.

Eris Vanserra was her mate, and now her heart and soul belonged to him.

Taglist: @callsigns-haze, @lilah-asteria, @mybestfriendmademe, @coldmermaidhologram

a/n²: I made Eris name specific plants used for... wounds... and preventing scars from getting larger...

a/n³: I literally sat for a moment looking at the screen like I had just written a murder scene (the first paragraphs of reader's backstory didn't faze me that much, what's wrong with me)

[ennn]

The kiss did kill Agatha but it was because she made it happen. "That's cute, but you know that [absorbing Rio's powers] would kill me" they had that line for a reason and having the line again on the previously on was to remind the audience of that. So a normal agathario kiss wouldn't cause death, but Agatha actually absorbing Rio's powers while kissing definitely would.

That being said, I agree with all the things you highlighted that you liked. May I ask which things you would've done different or didn't love as much, maybe?

Also, from the most neutral point of view, do you think Agatha still loves Rio? Did she ever?

I agree with that read! Note: this also means Rio would have needed to let her magic go into Agatha. Agatha can only take when blasted with magic, not by touching people, so Rio was aware she was killing her but it was Agatha's choice to take it on the mouth

Ooh good questions, time to play editor / script doctor for a bit. This is probably going to be long... and can be negative so I'm keeping it under a cut.

Things I did not love / would have done differently — not comprehensive — just off the top of my head:

For the love of god use a different ghost SFX. I hate the current one with the fire of 10,000 suns. It makes it hard to see the actor's performance, their outfit, and it messes with their body language as well. Outside the fantastical reality of the Road, it's too distracting.

Burn that white-grey wig for ghost!Agatha. Between this and the SFX I was struggling to focus on the scenes and their pathos. I think Episode 5 wasn't so bad because Evanora didn't really do much except float around in a smock and say some mean lines but Agatha's moving around, talking a lot, and trying to land some emotional beats.

The whole showdown in the garden feels weird to me, and I think you can tell that they only Aubrey Plaza for a limited time: she barely seems to be in the same frame except for the kiss? I suspect that's why we have shots focused on Billy hitting the greenhouse, Death on the house, and a very very short magical fight. You also don't get proper reactions from Rio on what could have been a couple of revealing beats like when Agatha initially offers Billy up and walks away.

The big one: I'm not convinced Agatha had a proper arc here. If it was planned I don't think it landed for me. You get a hint of Agatha making some peace with how death just happens at the end of the earth trial: "Sometimes boys die" – beautiful moment -– but it doesn't seem to follow through? Yes, she ultimately makes a choice that allows Rio to continue pursuing her (because Rio would have kept her word if Agatha handed Billy over). But coming to terms with her grief and Nicky's death? Has she forgiven Rio? Has she forgiven herself? It feels unresolved to me imho.

Agatha being protective of Billy is... some development I guess but she was already instinctively protective of him in like Episode 3, and by then she already knew he wasn't Nicky. I needed more growth from Agatha, I think?

I'm not sure about the whole mental messaging power of Billy's. Is it supposed to imply he's also reading Agatha's mind? Did he not say it out loud because then we'd have to get a reaction from Rio and Plaza isn't available?

Cast a younger kid for Nicky lol. I know there are production limitations but to me that kid looks too old for a 6-7 year old. Is it just me? I don't usually hang out with kids.

Streamline the flashbacks with Agatha and Nicky. We get it: she loves him, it's their song, he's not a fan of the murdering, he dies. I'd fit in a scene (it can be a short one) to underline how Rio did care about Nicky (she visits him?) and show Agatha having conflicting feelings about loving but fearing Death.

In an ideal world, not have Billy in his superhero outfit because that should have had some build-up for a reveal. I know it's Marvel and they need to sell merch and stuff but there really was enough stuff going on and how the hell did Billy get that suit anyway? The crown I can overlook but the rest is weird to me. --

For your last question about Agatha loving Rio I'll tackle it in another Anon Ask coming up that's similar!

[k16is]

erzajane headcanons…. i have Many….

-Erza suddenly just Remembers that she is ripped and can carry literally anything sometimes. And whenever she does she immediately picks mira up without warning. miras more of the Literal manhandler in the relationship (because that’s how you manage people when u have 2 younger siblings u literally had to raise) but erza is just like …. pick up wife……….. soican carry Her…….. 😊😊and mira is like WAAAH! she gets startled everytime.

-grey is their NUMBER ONE HATER. He gets forced to take pictures of them being gross together and every single time he is DISGUSTED! despite the show giving grey and erza unnecessary weird romantic tension that made no sense i think theyre super siblings & it’s really like watching your older sister be in love type of disgust. Cana was their number one hater when they tore up the guild in fights but now she’s like Awwwwww … Leave them be grey! theyre Cute!

-happy tried. So Hard to do the “she loooooves you” thing to them after they get together but theyre just like yes I do :3 and he gets really pissed off he can’t make either of them mad anymore after the YEARS of pining. and then he extra torments lucy

-any time erza and mira have a nice moment during their rival era natsu jumps in and is like AWWW! GROUP HUUUG! and ruins it

-lucy is sooooo jealous. imagine u have 2 GORGEOUS beautiful friends u lowkey want & they GET TOGETHER. she’s hyping them up but she wants to be both of them. she’s like that one picture “I'm Finna just join somebody else relationship..Bitch scoot over.. I love y'all..” She also spills all her relationship drama to mira (about natsu juvia cana whoEVER (she’s moronromantic)) and since erzas there too she’s like WHAT?! HUH? because her autistic ass had no idea about any of this. she’s like “Guys can i just join your relationship instead im so tired” and miras like Awww silly lucy 😊

-& as an extension of this mira starts spilling ALL. the tea. to erza. mira is the type to stir the pot unnecessarily because she’s bored (i.e her messing with lucy by saying grey and natsu like her) even when she’s absolutely positive something is just a false rumor. she’s been holding all that REAL shit in to herself and as soon as lisanna gets back she EXPLODES with gossip she’s collected to lisanna and erza whenever they get together. she’s a good secret keeper mostly but her sister and girlfriend Will Know. erza starts teasing people (subtly) much more as a result.

-elfever & erzajane in-law shenanigans. They stay over at each others places often all together (with lisanna too. freeloading on either of their couches) and cook dinner together…

-grief made mira give a fuck sooo much less. especially initially after someone would playfully make a jab and instead of dissing back she’d be like Oh you! but erza would get pissed off that she was passive and start fighting people for her. and then mira would just be like wow<3

-for most of their earlier days erza was almost always in a full suit of armor as a coping mechanism. despite really loving to dress up, she never really did it outside of her own room because she didn’t feel safe enough to, so that leads to mira seeing an ankle and being filled with lust like it’s the 1600s. over time she grows more comfortable and stuff but like. jus imagine u see ur crush out of a suit of armor for the first time and she is just absolutely RIPPED. cmon now. you’d die too

-if mira gets notes from secret admirers or letters from fans erza will proofread them. She is a living grammarly. she also just gets jealous

-through mira’s transformation magic she starts hiding her scars from battles when she starts modeling. erza doesn’t say anything about it but it pisses her off so bad because she thinks mira is gorgeous just the way she is. mira just tryin to make that bank now that she can’t work as a wizard 🔥 let her be

-they both dickride each other when they fight other people. especially in the grand magic games arc mira was picking everyone up and spinning them around and screaming BEAT THEIR ASS ERZA!!!!!! n meanwhile erza is just like Heh…. this was only 2% of her power… She could’ve PULVERIZED her…. like okaaay i see u!

[adventuringblind]

Drive With You Forever

Chapter sixteen: Boo!

Max Verstappen x Charles Leclerc x Lando Norris x Reader x Oscar Piastri

Chapter summary: Reader scares Carlos, Max is overprotective, an unexpected visitor appears

Warnings: alcohol consumption, survivors guilt, arguing

Notes: After much deliberation, I've decided to let my affinity for even numbers win.

Previous <-

Masterlist

The sun is barely peaking over the edges of the sky as her and Lando walk hand in hand around the hungararing. Charles needed to be at the paddock early for his media duties. The two had decided to go with since they were up and let Max and Oscar sleep until the last minute.

The walk is peaceful. The shared airpods are playing soft music that Lando picked. Occasionally, he spins her around, or they stop to dance horribly.

It's so early that even the pitlane is empty. The occasional sound of tools can be heard, but no souls can be seen.

The music and Lando are so distracting that she doesn't notice anyone sneaking behind her. Hands grab her shoulder, which pulls a terrified gasp out of her. Instincts take over as she throws whoever it is behind her into the nearest wall. It's not hard, just enough to subdue. And scare- she supposes.

She holds whoever it was as her breath starts to even out. She can hear Lando and Charles laughing incredibly hard. Which is weird, because then who is she-?

"Carlos?!"

She releases her hold on him, and the spainard sinks to the ground. His expressions go through the five stages of grief.

"I told you not to scare her mate!" Charles is kneeling over in laughter.

She rushes to help him up. And to her shock, he lets her. She would have expected him to run in fear. Bolt to the nearest asylum and tell them to come get her.

"So, you're some kind of superhero? Or am I imagining things? Or are you really that strong?" Carlos asks questions faster than she could process. She's startled, overwhelmed, and frankly confused.

Charles comes to her rescue with his arms around her waist. "She's our superhero. If you tell anyone, you're dead."

"She looks like she feels bad for just shoving me against the wall."

"I never said it would be her doing the killing."

~~~~~

Charles flinches as Max slams the door behind him. He hates when any of them is angry. Max, however, has to be the worst.

Not because of anything he's doing wrong. The Dutch simply struggles to communicate when his emotions are flaring higher than normal. Charles hates seeing him so upset when all he wants is to keep them safe and happy.

He is currently curled up on the bed next to Lando. Oscar is sitting on one of the plush lounge chairs, and the female is curled up on a bar stool, not looking at anyone. She looked like she might cry. When Charles called Max to explain what had happened, he was not happy and started ranting over the speaker. Now she is sat there, blaming herself for messing things up.

"Carlos is coming over tonight, so we can explain this to him, yes?" Max asks the room. They all nod to confirm it. "I don't understand how this happened. We have no idea how Carlos is going to respond."

"He seemed fine when we left-"

"-But that doesn't guarantee he won't tell anybody." Max cut off Lando, and the Brit shrinks into Charles with a look of defeat.

Max then turns his attention to the female. The emotionally unstable girl who hadn't even been living in a proper home for that long. Who had immediately concluded she had ruined their lives once again (not that she ever did, this was her conclusion that Charles can't see how she came to).

"I would've expected you to at least have seen something by now. I thought your visions were to prevent these incidents, but they always seem to happen regardless." Max's volume rises as he speaks. His hand movements get more aggressive, and he can see the female getting more glassy eyed by the second. "It's so hard to keep you safe when you let things like this happen!"

Oh, Charles is going to kill him. But he'll have to do it later because before anyone can stop her, she is running out of the room. Only stopping to grab her shoes.

"Max Emilian Verstappen, I have half a mind to drag by the neck to Sebastian to explain this one to him." Seethes the Monegasque.

It's not often that they argue. Having more of them in a relationship means more arguments, but it also means more mediators. People who are neutral to help them resolve the issue.

Max already looks like he knows he messed up. "I didn't... I- I didn't mean it like that." He stutters out. Tears threaten to fall from his eyes.

Charles sighs in frustration. "Maybe we know that, but she takes things litterally." He goes through possible options. "I think we should give it an hour before we try to find her. Let her have some space first."

"Not sure how we're going to find her." Oscar points to where her phone lay. "Can't see her location if her phone isn't with her."

~~~~~

She's not sure where she's going. Just walking to clear her head. Figure things out. Understand why she can't just do things right.

Maybe Max is right. Maybe this really is all her fault. She let this all happen. She could've stopped it if she had more control over these stupid abilities.

She knows her mind is going to a dark place. It's a place she hadn't been for so long. But the voices that aren't hers are pulling her under water. She can't breathe knowing she messed up yet again. How many failures are needed to prove she's not meant to continue this life.

Her father had said the same thing Max had. Over and over, every day, the reason why he took everything from her. Because she had let her mother die and still doesn't have the strength to bring her back.

Why should she live? Her mother hadn't deserved her fate. Neither had any of her bloodline who came before her. Why should she be allowed to live freely when none of them had?

She must have blacked out while walking. Somehow, finding herself tucked away in a back alley, a bottle of alcohol in hand.

She didn't even know she had money. Furthermore, she doesn't even like alcohol normally. She supposes this isn't a normal occasion and instead takes a swig from the bottle. The burn in her throat distracts the thoughts in her brain.

She hears her name being called, but she's too apathetic to care. Yet as they continue to grow closer, she lets out a groan and shifts her weight upwards and against the wall. Her legs feel like they might give out from the weight. She falls, expecting to hit the concrete face first. Instead, she lands against another person.

"I've got you." Comes a familiar Australian accent. Oscar lowers her back onto the ground and assesses her for any injuries. "You forgot to take your phone with you. We've been searching for you for hours."

"Well, I guess Max can lecture me about it then. I'll add it to the compiling list of things I've done wrong."

Oscar isn't normally the most assertive person. He can be when he needs to, but he can also easily follow the flow of other people. This is one of those times where he needs to be. "You didn't do anything wrong. You were startled. You went defensive. Max knows what he said was wrong, and he didn't intend for it to come out that way." Her body is pulled into his. She hadn't realized how it had gotten late and that she is cold now. His body heat is comforting. "Come back with me and let Max apologize. Everyone is worried that you'd been taken again, and Carlos is at the room as well."

She can hear the waiver of anxiety in his voice. He hates not knowing where she is. It leaves too many possibilities for her to get hurt, or worse, taken away from him again.

Oscar helps her walk back to the hotel. The bottle of alcohol left behind in the alley for someone else to take advantage of. It's a long, wobbly walk where she feels anxiety building with every step. Even when they get to the door, she has half a mind to turn and run. Though she doubts she'd get very far.

Lando is the one to open the door. He looks as if he'd been crying. If he was, he didn't say anything.

He helps Oscar get her to the larger then neccecary bathroom. Then she beelines straight for the empty bath. Her safe place.

"Max wants to apologize. Can I let him in?"

"Yeah, but can you stay, please?" She's not sure she can express things properly right now and may need Oscar's calm to help the two very emotional people through.

"Wouldn't think of leaving."

He opens the door and summons Max over. It's an awkward few moments as the two get comfortable. She fiddles with her hands while they do so.

Max sighs. His eyes are red and tired. His face settled in his constantly moving hands. "I'm so sorry for what I said. I wasn't thinking properly and I was scared. Which is not an excuse I know-"

"I forgive you. It's not like I handled it well, either."

"I just want you to be safe. You've been through so much already that I just want to see you not worry yourself sick." They look at each other now. Really take in the hurt and worry that paint the feature of the other.

Oscar decides to give them a few moments alone before joining the others. Lando had once compared their post argument affection to remind them they are okay to aftercare. She deems them very different. In this case, both her and Max were high on emotions, so they did and said things that weren't right. But they'd all come to an agreement that when there are apologies made and forgiveness granted that they don't hold onto it. At the end of the day, they are human, and humans do stupid things. This is a promise that they are going to be fine.

~~~~~

Oscar isn't sure what he's expecting to happen when the two step out of the room, but it certainly wasn't Carlos being star struck.

"I have so many questions."

"You always have questions."

"I think he always has opinions, actually."

Oscar rolls his eyes. Carlos could ask all he wanted, but he probably would get the answers he's looking for. There is some part of him that knows Carlos commands and controls his environment. Yet the other side of him sees what Charles sees: a funny and playful Spaniard. Plus, the Aussie is new to all of this, and if anything, he can't help but feel mildly anxious.

"Have you always had your powers?" Carlos looks at the female with curiosity in his eyes.

"Yes, I was born with them." His eyes flicker to Max as the Dutch places his hand on her lower back. She seems to flinch at the question itself. As if having to recall the answer also brought with it memories.

Carlos keeps asking more specific questions, prying further into the females past. She does her best to answer as many as possible, but she's gradually steeping into a more anxious state.

"I think that's enough for tonight." Max pulls the girl into him, and her demeanor shifts again. Relaxed from feeling safe in his arms. “Jack, can you take her to the other room?”

Oscar simply nods and gently leads the female to the connected room. Two rooms since apparently it’s difficult for them to all sleep comfortably in the same bed that isn’t built for five. There have been many angry physios because they were falling off the bed or settling for the floor. So, they had to change tactics.

When he closes the door behind him, the two throw themselves into bed. “Does Max not want us in there for a reason?”

“Do you want to be in there still? Because I’m happy to sleep.”

He will not get to sleep yet, however, because there is a knock on the door. Oscar groans in exhaustion and annoyance. How had they managed to know what room they were in? Doesn’t anyone sleep these days?!

Oscar takes his sweet time getting up and meandering to the door. He swings it open with more attitude than neccacary, but to his shock, there is nobody on the other side.

A small box sits outside the door. For everything that has happened, a box is probably the least of their worries. Oscar, however, still gets a chill up his spine when he bring it inside the space.

"A package? Did you see from who?"

"A ghost? An invisible man?"

"No need to be rude..."

Oscar sighs and starts ripping open the small cardboard box. "Sorry. I'm just tired -" he catches a glimpse of the contents. "A whole box for a single note!"

The girl looks at his with curiosity. If she weren't so damn cute, he would close the box and think about it later. Instead, he unfolds the paper. "It's a letter... from your father."

~

Lando watches the older boys intently. Carlos and Max have been going back and forth for awhile now.

“Have you considered that maybe this is a condition?”

“Have you considered that her father is a psycho?”

Carlos had been trying to figure out the reasons behind everything. There is one, technically speaking, but it isn’t their place to share that information.

“I know you want to protect her Max, but maybe you should consider visiting the the guy and asking him about it.” Carlos gets up off the bed and stands in front of Max. His stance is loose and relaxed. “She looks like she’s in pain and ready to break at any second.” He claps Max on the shoulder before heading out of the room.

Lando looks at the older two. “Well that was eventful.”

Max flops down in between himself and Charles. The groan he lets out is muffled by the pillows. “I don’t like his tone.”

“His tone? Or the fact maybe he was into something?” Charles quirks his eyebrows.

“Both.”

The three of them pull back the covers after getting ready for bed. Lando having checked that Oscar and their superhero of a girlfriend are at least in bed.

“On the bright side, we can’t even think about that until after this weekend. We’ve got driving to do still.”

~

Names with lines through them were unable to be tagged.

Tags: @styles-sunflower @purplephantomwolf @boiohboii @reblog-princess-blog @jjsprobablywrong @jayda12 @faithm120601 @eugene-emt-roe @lpab @yaaadii @80sloverry @spongebeck3101 @eviethetheatrefreak @chanshintien @vellicora @hollie911 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @be-your-coffee-pot @copper-boom @allmyfanfavorites @sadg3

[a-dam-leo-valdez-lover]

Reunion

Leo Valdez x Fem reader

This takes place after the events of the second great prophecy, Y/N was on the Argo II with the 7 and is a daughter of Apollo but really could be anyone. Y/N is mourning the loss of her best friend and crush Leo and when everyone gathers for the memorial of his death things change. Don’t judge me too hard its been a few years since I wrote anything and had to start my blog fresh. Not entirely following cannon and while calypso is mention she isn’t actually a part of the story.

It took 3 days of searching before Chiron decided they were never going to find Leo’s body, to declare him dead. It took 2 weeks for Frank and Hazel to go back to Camp Jupiter after Leo’s funeral, Jason followed them a few days later promising he’d iris message Piper everyday. After a month Annabeth and Percy needed to go back to school, it turns out going on a quest really messed up a demigod's grades and makes getting into New Rome university way harder. A week after Percy and Annabeth left camp, Piper went out to visit her dad and for the first time since the quest began, Y/n found herself completely alone.

At first she struggled to find a way to spend her days. Unlike her siblings she lacked any all all skills in archery and Y/ns musical abilities left much to be desired. It was winter at camp so there wasn’t as much going on, most days she spent alone. The snow covered camp was beautiful, quieter than normal it seemed, except for the occasional bit of laughter from the other year round campers. She tried to iris message the others occasionally, shed promised Piper that she would call everyday, but it was never enough. She spent time with will, practicing in the infirmary and getting to know Nico since they were basically joint at the hip these days. It was good to see them happy, but it made her feel more alone. Sure her and Leo were never together, but he was her world, her partner in crime. She never got to tell him she loved him.

Over time though, it became easier. It turns out crushes feel less strong when the one you like is gone, and while Y/n may suck at archery and music it turns out she had a real knack for pegasus training. Plus with all the time in the world to practice she was pretty good with a sword too. Eventually she spent less time moping and being lonely and more time focused on build relationships with her sibilings, especially Will. The two of them would talk for hours on and end and his southern accent, while not quiet like Leo’s was comforting on the night where she had nightmares that kept her up. By default she became close with Nico too, sure they’d spoken on occasion before the quest and became a bit closer while trapped together on a ship for a few weeks, but this was new. He was quiet and didn’t ask too may questions, but he understood her grief better than anybody else.

Unbeknownst to Y/N, Nico knew she wasn’t he only one still grieving Leo. He’d spoken to Percy and Hazel a few times and heard through the grape vine how Frank, Annabeth, Jason, and Piper were doing. He could see the sadness that lingered in their eyes, the lack of sleep was obvious, and he knew he had to do something. So it took it upon himself to plan a memorial for Leo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6 months after Leo’s death, everyone came back for the memorial. It was weird, awkward almost to all be together again. On one hand they all knew each other like the back of their hand, but at the same time things had changed, they weren’t in any real danger for once and its almost like they didn’t know how to interact without a monster lurking or the impending end of the world to lead the conversation. Thank gods for Piper, she always knew how to get everyone talking.

"Remember the time Leo pranked Chiron by programming his wheelchair to go backwards only? Or that time he made that robot spider to scare the Athena cabin during capture the flag," she reminisced, a bittersweet smile on her face.

Percy chuckled, "I swore Annabeth was going to kill him for that, i swear she screamed so loud my mom could hear it."

”Rude,” Annabeth tried to be mad but even she couldn’t hide the smile on her face, “but yeah, I was planning my revenge”

She paused, everybody knew what she wanted to say, he died before she got the chance. The room was heavy for a moment before y/n changed the subject.

”You know what I was thinking about the other day, the time he 'accidentally' set the strawberry fields on fire while upgrading Festus's flame system.”

It worked like a charm. The room echoed with laughter and shared stories about the metal dragon and the boy who built it. Y/N listened as everyone talked, but her attention began to drift as she gazed into the sky, captivated by a mysterious glimmer.

Annabeth noticed her distraction, especially because the conversation had shifted a while ago, and asked, "Y/N, do you even know what we're talking about?"

"Festus," Y/N replied absentmindedly, her eyes still lingering on the shiny object.

Annabeth sighed, "No, we're discussing college plans, Y/N have you even heard a word we said?."

Before Annabeth could get into a lecture about how important having a plan is, Y/N's eyes widened.

"It's Festus," She whispered, so quiet almost anybody could miss it She rose quickly from her seat staring at the shiny object in the sky, her heart pounding with a mix of hope and disbelief. The group followed her gaze, their expressions changing from confusion to surprise. A metallic dragon, catching the sunlight, soared across the sky. The sight left them momentarily speechless. Then, realization dawned, and their faces mirrored Y/N's astonishment.

She ran out as fast as she could to the beach where the dragon was landing, when she saw him. Leo Valdez, presumed dead, had returned in the most Leo way possible. The daylight seemed to cast a spotlight on him as he stood there with a stupid smirk on his face. The poor boy had hardly a moment to prepare himself before Y/N jumped into his arms wrapping him a hug.

"What are you—how, I mean..." Y/N stuttered, her voice a mix of confusion and elation.

Leo, with his trademark smirk, simply said, "Surprise."

"Surprise? Surprise? What the heck, Leo!" Y/N's confusion turned into a whirlwind of emotions. "You died. I watched you die. We never found your body, but you were gone. I spoke at your funeral, and now you're back, and all you have to say is 'surprise'? Gods, what is—"

Leo's laughter cut through her words. "Hey, I had to make a grand entrance, right? Can't just show up without a little flair."

Y/N's frustration shifted to a mixture of relief and exasperation. "Flair? Leo, you had us all convinced you were gone. What happened? How are you here?"

Leo scratched his head, a habit that hadn't changed. "Long story short, Festus and I took a detour in the labyrinth. Ended up in Ogygia. You know, Calypso's island? Time flows differently there, and by the time we found a way out, well, time had moved a bit faster here."

"Ogygia? Calypso? Time travel?" Y/N's head spun with the unexpected twists.

"Yeah, yeah. I've got a lot to catch you up on," Leo grinned. "But one thing's for sure, I'm back, and we've got some serious catching up to do."

Y/N's initial shock transformed into a grin. "You have no idea how much we've missed you, Leo Valdez."

As they walked back to camp together, the reunion echoed with laughter, questions, and the comforting feeling of having a friend thought to be lost returned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night as the campfire crackled, casting a warm glow on the faces of the reunited demigods the Apollo cabin led the campers in a a few songs and Leo entertained the crowd with his tales of defying death. The atmosphere was one of joy and celebration, as the group sat together, reveling in the miraculous return of their comrade.

As the night unfolded, the campfire stories wove a tapestry of memories, both old and new. Y/N, caught up in the camaraderie, joined in the laughter and shared anecdotes. However, amidst the festivities, a moment of quiet reflection struck her. As she looked at the boy in front of her smiling and laughing her heart suddenly felt like it was being pulled in a few directions. He was really back. Maybe it was the days excitement or too much smoke inhalation or a combination of the two, but Y/N couldn’t breathe.

Pulling away from the group, Y/N wandered to the edge of the camp, her thoughts a whirlwind of emotions. The gravity of Leo's return, the mourning that had transpired, and the overwhelming joy of having him back weighed on her. It was all too much. Not to mention him being alive meant she’d have to deal with the whole unrequited crush thing. Not that she could even think about it right then, because Leo, sensing her retreat, followed her to the quiet corner.

"Hey, Y/N, everything okay?" he asked, concern etched on his face.

She hesitated, then sighed. "It's just... Leo, I thought you were gone. We all did. Losing you was... I can't put it into words. And now you're back, and it's so much to process."

Leo nodded understandingly, pulling her into a comforting hug. "I get it, Y/N. It's a lot. But I could never leave you behind, you know? We're in this together."

His words resonated with Y/N, and as Leo held her, she felt a mix of emotions pouring out. The weight of grief mingled with the joy of reunion overwhelmed her, and tears flowed freely. Leo just held her, it was almost enough to make her feel better on the spot. As the two stood apart the rest of their friends watched them whispering to one another.

”So when are the two of them going to admit they’re in love” Frank joked.

”Y/n talking about her feelings? It’s never going to happen” Jason laughed receiving a slap in the arm from Piper.

”I wouldn't say never,” Nico said , “she thought she missed her chance once she won’t let it happened again”

”Well lets just hope its soon, because I cannot hear about how ‘y/n does like me like that’ from Leo again when its so obvious to everyone else she does' Piper laughed looking at her two friends.

This is the first thing I’ve written in a long time but hopefully it’ll get better. Requests are open and please let me know if you want a sequel to this or anything else. Also lmk if you want to be tagged in the next one!

[hard-core-super-star]

Hiya, may I request something for Kate bishop.

(Peter could be rs cousin or something.) Reader (who is spiderwoman and dating Kate), Kate and Yelena help Peter Parker (T. Holland) with the villains from the other earth's and as a result green goblin ends up killing aunt May and she seeks out revenge for may and almost kills green goblin but Yelena and kate stop her. (Oh, and Peter is the only one who is forgotten)

no such thing as good grief [K.Bishop]

pairing: kate bishop x parker!reader

summary: you always knew being a superhero came with a long list of dangers but it turns out you weren't quite ready to deal with someone else suffering for your mistakes.

warnings: major character death; heavy mentions of blood + injuries + grief; a huge serving of angst with a side of hurt/comfort, a dash of humor, and a sprinkle of plot; weird descriptions of fight scenes

wordcount: 3.2k

a/n: i probably should have rewatched no way home for this but shhh. any inconsistencies are just part of this other timeline because i said so and the MCU timeline is incredibly messy anyway. i very clearly got way too attached and wrote way too much but whoops, hope you enjoy <3 [also yes, may is R's mom in this but somewhere along the way, i resorted to just calling her 'may' instead 'mom' because I didn't want it to get too repetitive]

* * * * * * *

Nobody ever said being an Avenger was easy.

Especially now that most members are either dead, retired, off-world, or just simply unreachable. Nobody wanted to address the fact that the safety of planet Earth now rests solely in the hands of a bunch of college students and a Russian ex-assassin.

Of course, there’s still Dr. Strange and his merry band of sorcerers, including Wong, but it seems the only thing that man can successfully protect is his massive ego. It’s harsh, sure, but that doesn’t make it any less true. 

Although, maybe you’re just bitter that Stephen’s soft spot for your cousin ultimately got you tangled in a mess you had no business being in. 

A crack in the multiverse is bad enough but it being caused by one of Stephen's failed spells is even worse.

And of course, Peter's seniority when it comes to being part of a superpowered team means when he calls, you answer. There’s also the fact that he’s family and your mom would absolutely lecture you if you ignored him…again.

You really wanted to sit this one out but there was no way your girlfriend was going to let you. You tried all the tricks you knew to convince her but ultimately, her and Yelena ended up dragging you out of your apartment to help Peter fix his multiversal disaster.

“So, your plan to defeat these villains is to…not defeat them?” You question. “In what universe does that make sense?”

“Don’t be a jerk, y/n/n,” Kate mumbles.

You playfully roll your eyes at the archer’s words, biting back a comment about how rare it is to see her actually attempting to focus on forming a plan. She’s gotten a lot better at not rushing into situations but old habits die hard.

“Actually, it’s May’s plan,” Peter says. “I know it’s unconventional but I think it could work. We’re the good guys, right?”

Yelena shoots you a look but you just shrug in response. Fighting with him will only lead to more problems that you’re not sure you’re qualified to solve. Actually, none of you are qualified for any of this.

Webs, arrows, and strong punches are not going to get you out of this one.

You swallow down your hesitation and give Peter a small nod. “Right. What do you need us to do?”

Step 1, according to your annoying Spider-Cousin, is to pick up a few materials for him while he takes the misplaced villains to Happy’s condo. You don’t love the idea of being an errand girl but you already agreed to help and there’s no way Kate will let you take your words back.

Her loyalty is as admirable as it is annoying. But at least you get to spend time driving around New York with your two favorite people. And by driving you really mean sitting in the backseat with Kate while Yelena complains about how much harder it is to drive a car than a motorcycle.

Step 1 takes about an hour to complete and it’s not until you’re all heading to Happy’s place that your girlfriend decides to question you and your lack of trust in Peter’s plan.

“Since when are you so cynical?” She asks, her arm loosely wrapped around your waist.

“Me?” The question catches you off-guard and you turn your face away from the car window to look at her instead. “I'm not the one shooting arrows through people’s limbs.”

“It’s not like I’m killing people.”

“Neither am I,” you reply with a shrug. “I'm just saying to send them back to their universe.”

“So they can die,” she says, her tone making her statement sound more like a question than anything else.

“Well…yeah.”

It sounds brutal when said out loud but it’s the logical choice. Keeping them in your universe isn’t an option and there’s no telling what kind of damage Peter’s plan will have on those other timelines.

“And you don’t think that’s cruel?”

“Should I?” You look away from Kate’s eyes before you get distracted from the conversation at hand due to the puppy-dog look they’ve been carrying the past few minutes. “Yelena, you wanna help me out here?”

“You’re gonna get the heartless Russian assassin to help you prove your point?” She asks with a chuckle.

“Ex-assasin,” the blonde corrects her. “And I am not heartless. But y/n is right. What is that stupid saying? Something about a circus?”

“Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, so if you’re so against this plan why did you agree to it?” Kate finally asks the million-dollar question.

The answer is a lot more complicated than one would think and you’re not in the mood to explain why the plan being your mom’s idea means so much to you. So, you take a page out of the archer’s book and reply with a stupid joke instead.

“You think May would have been fine with me letting Peter run around on his own?”

Yelena’s reply is just as witty as yours. “I am only here because someone has to babysit you while y/n babysits Spider-Boy.”

“You guys are jerks.” There are notes of humor in her voice that she tries to wipe away with an overdramatic pout.

You chuckle and lean in to kiss her, ignoring Yelena’s complaints about how annoyingly in love you two are.

The moment is a welcome respite from a chaotic and difficult situation.

A situation that only gets worse with every minute that goes by.

The three of you finally arrive at Happy’s condo and are led inside by your overly chipper cousin. You try to ignore the way the hairs on the back of your neck stand up at the mere sight of the supervillains scattered all around the living room.

You’re probably just being paranoid. That’s what you tell yourself until Peter lets it slip that he’s not the only person watching over the time-scattered villains.

You grab a hold of his arm and lead him away from Kate and Yelena, more for his sake than yours if you’re being honest. “What do you mean my mom is here? Why the hell would you bring her into this mess?

“I didn’t do anything!” He responds. “She wanted to help. You know how she is.”

If you had a nickel every time he used that excuse you’d be as rich as your girlfriend.

“This is different, Pete! It’s not just her bringing us snacks while we fix our web shooters, this is serious.”

“Which is exactly why she should be here. We need all the help we can get to do this. You have no problem with Kate being here, why is May different?”

It takes you a second to be able to reply, your brain not fully computing his audacity to make such a flippant comparison. “Because she’s not a superhero, you dimwit! She’s the only family I have left, I am not letting her get hurt because you convinced her to help us.”

“First of all, ouch. Second of all, relax. She can take care of herself.”

All you can really do is groan since it’s obvious no amount of arguing will get him to change his mind and help you convince May to go home. There’s also the fact that she probably wouldn’t listen to you even if you managed to get Peter on your side.

“Fine. Just tell me what to do so we can wrap up this shitshow.”

You ignore his very obvious sigh of relief and focus on lending the helping hand you promised earlier. Help that makes you ignore your growing unease and leaves you unprepared for the violent turn things take.

You’re not even sure how it happens.

One second you and Kate are arguing about how Sandman’s powers even work while Yelena and May help administer Dr. Ock’s cure and the next you’re watching Green Goblin turn the rest of the misplaced villains against all of you.

Your one and only thought is on getting your mom out of here unscathed but it quickly becomes clear you won’t be able to just swing her to safety. There’s no plan, or even time to think things through, there’s only a tense atmosphere and an inkling that things won’t go well no matter what you do.

Green Goblin’s taunts ring in your ears right as Electro blasts Dr. Ock out the window. Kate shoots you a look you can’t ignore and you hold on to the silent promise that she’ll be okay without you.

You dive out the window without a second thought, barely managing to shed your hoodie and reveal the Spider Suit hidden beneath your clothes. (Peter can keep all his fancy little upgrades, nothing beats the classic suit in your opinion)

You manage to help Dr. Ock before he slams into the ground with equal parts teamwork and a staggering amount of webs.

He assures you he’s fine once you manage to get onto a nearby roof, not so subtly doing his best to get rid of a few webs that are stuck to his clothes. You shoot him an apologetic smile before jumping off the roof and swinging back to the now blacked-out building.

You ignore the swarm of cop cars and news vans that litter the front of the building and impulsively divide to crash through a window into the lobby, figuring it’ll be faster to find May and your team this way.

You jump onto your feet after your literal crash landing only to find Kate and Peter in the middle of fighting Green Goblin. A part of you screams to run and find your mom but then Osborn kicks Kate’s bow out of her hand and your body reacts faster than your mind can even comprehend.

“Hey, asshole!” You shoot a web at his leg and yank him backward. “Get your hands off of her.”

He stumbles but doesn’t fall the way you anticipated. Instead, he turns to look at you, that chilling smirk still plastered on his face. “What is it with you Parkers and your savior complex?”

Your first instinct is to run at him but you catch the archer’s look as she runs to help a badly injured Peter. If it’s a distraction she needs, that’s exactly what you’ll provide.

“It’s part of our charming personality.”

You shrug and shoot at him again, managing to pull his focus toward the barrage of webs you send his way.

You expect to keep him occupied until Peter and Kate catch their breath but instead, May rushes out of the stairway, a bleeding Yelena trailing behind her, and she injects the so-called cure into the back of Osborn’s neck.

The cure doesn’t work. All it does is send the Green Goblin into a fit of rage.

You urge May to run in between Osborn’s taunts directed mainly at you and Peter. She doesn’t listen and you’re too distracted to notice the deadly glider that hovers just outside the window.

By the time Kate warns you it’s too late.

The blast it creates when it crashes in sends you flying onto the ground. All the air gets knocked out of your lungs from the impact but you don’t get time to lay there and recover.

You somehow manage to get back onto your feet right as Osborn sends a bomb flying your way. You just barely manage to web it and throw it to the side before it goes off, sending bits of debris raining down onto all of you.

There’s the distinct sound of Kate’s boots running toward you, Yelena’s Russian curse words, and a part of you that tells you to go check on May. There’s no chance in hell that you’re letting Green Goblin get away though so you swallow down your pain from aching joints and bleeding cuts and run after him.

You arrive outside just in time to watch him throw another bomb that you’re too slow to stop.

The explosion throws you back onto the ground and you groan as you land on a piece of glass. You’re breathless and bleeding and it’s only then that the guilt crashes into you at once.

This time, your attempt to stand is far less balanced and you stumble onto a familiar frame. “Hey, hey, easy. There’s no rush, babe.”

You happily accept Kate’s embrace, the familiarity of her comforting touch soothing some of your pain. “You okay?”

“Yeah, nothing some band-aids and a nap won’t fix.”

Hearing the usual humor in her tone brings you back to reality…which brings your mind back to your mom and the way you so recklessly rushed outside without knowing if she was injured. “How about Peter and May? They okay?”

Your girlfriend’s silence never means anything good and in this context, it makes your heart drop to your stomach in an instant. You’re about to question her again when Yelena’s voice stops you.

“We need to get out of here before the cops arrive…again.”

You push your injured body away from Kate’s, searching for the answer you don’t want to hear. ��Kate…”

“I’m sorry.” She avoids your eyes as she responds. “Peter tried but it was already too late. She’s gone, y/n.”

You don’t hear anything she says after that.

It’s strange the way the world slows to a stop around you while your overwhelmed brain tries to process the Earth-shattering information. Strange how a second ago everything seemed to make sense and now you’re left gasping for breath, reaching for answers you know don’t matter.

The how, the why, the what. None of that matters. 

May is dead.

And there’s nothing you could have done to stop it despite the powers, and the gadgets, and the hours of training.

You didn’t even get to say goodbye before she-

“y/n, it’s not your fault.”

“Listen to Kate Bishop, she’s finally right for once.”

“Hey!”

Their attempt to comfort you turns into chaotic bickering but you don’t pay attention to their words. You can’t think about anything except the gaping hole in your chest that had once been full of May’s knowing looks and thoughtful words.

Kate’s right.

It’s not your fault. Or May’s. Or even Peter’s. There’s only one man to blame for this. 

And you’re sure as hell going to make him regret his choice to mess with your family.

“y/n.” Kate’s voice manages to cut through the hate-filled fog that’s starting to cover your mind. “y/n, don’t.”

You don’t listen to her words, you don’t even take in the way she so easily knows what you’re thinking, you just do what you’ve always done: keep moving.

You successfully escape your girlfriend’s embrace and start running. You’re not sure where you’re going or how you’re going to find him but the plan will come later. Right now, you just need to do something before the grief consumes you.

Kate yells after you but there’s no way she’ll be able to chase after you. Especially once you start swinging from building to building.

The hours pass by in between blurs of rain, tears, and the occasional wall you end up crashing into. Your phone blows up with missed calls and countless texts but you don’t care.

The entire world could crash and burn without you for all you care. The light within your own world has already been extinguished. 

Your search ends up leading you right to the Statue of Liberty where you’re not at all surprised to find a chaotic battle going on. Maybe you should have checked your phone to get caught up with the plan but that doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that you’ve finally found what you’ve been looking for. And your mind is dead-set on your objective.

You ignore the rest of the fights going on, including the look of pain and relief on Kate’s face once she sees you swing past her, and hone in on Peter.

You're still bleeding and there's a sharp pain in your leg you can't ignore but your injuries don't matter. All that matters is avenging May.

You land next to Peter without a word, the venom in your eyes saying more than your voice could. You're both fighting for the same thing but you have no doubt he's still pulling his punches.

Something you have no intention of doing.

“Well, well, well, look who decided to join the fun,” Green Goblin taunts. “Too tired of running after your dead parents?”

“Shut your mouth,” you reply as you step toward him. “You don't know what you're talking about.”

That only makes him laugh. “Trust me, pain makes you stronger. You'll see, all I have to do is take away your pretty little girlfriend next and you'll understand.”

There's no hesitation left in your body once you hear those words.

You lunge forward, tackling Osborn to the ground. That stupid smirk doesn't leave his face even while you rain down punches on him.

“Come on! Is that all you can do? What's the point of two Spider-Idiots if one is too weak to fight?”

You know he's only taunting you. Trying to push your buttons and get you to break. Too bad that's exactly what you want to do.

Every time he pushes you back, you kick him back twice as hard. You stumble and get punched in the face enough times to make your ears ring but you don't dare stop.

You don't even think.

You just punch and punch and punch until Osborn’s on the ground, his witty mouth finally silent.

Seeing him like this only serves to remind you of what you've lost, of the pain that's taken hold of your every thought and move. You lift your hand to shoot a web at his forgotten glider when a voice stops you dead in your tracks.

“y/n?”

The mere sound of your name coming out of Kate’s mouth in that desperate tone is enough to make your breath catch in your throat. You already know what she's going to say so you speak up first. “I have to.”

“No, you don't. You've done enough, okay? You can walk away.”

You look down at your hands, at the bloody mess you've left behind, and the tears start falling before you can stop them.

The hand that pulls you up doesn't belong to the archer but it's full of an understanding only Yelena could be capable of. “Go on, Spider-Boy and I got this.”

You nod, too numb and overwhelmed to fully accept the weight of what you've done. Of what you almost did.

“Kate?” You call out as you finally turn around to face her.

“I’m right here.” She greets you with the same soft look and warm smile you fell in love with, nothing but compassion in her gaze.

You all but collapse into her waiting arms, your shoulders slumped as you finally give in to the all-consuming grief that lingers in every breath you take.

The sounds of the chaos around you fades into nothingness.

All you can hear is Kate's soft reassurances and the steady beat of her heart. You don't need anything else than that right now. Despite how strong the urge for revenge had been.

You just need your girlfriend…and a long nap.

Peter watches the scene with a small, albeit sad, smile on his face. There's a weight on his chest that even fixing his mistakes won't take away.

But at least he knows you won't be alone. The spell will make you and everyone else he loves forget about him but at least you'll still have Kate.

It'll be hard but he has no doubt you'll be able to rebuild and find the light inside of yourself that May always believed was there. Flickering underneath all the pain of your past.

Now you and Kate can shine together.

Without him and the chaos he unnecessarily brought into your life.

[voidcat-senket]

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY JEDI SURVIVOR!

Please enjoy a collection of Cal Kestis/Bode Akuna fanworks to celebrate! Find the AO3 collection here!

tear down the planet for the hype

FIC AND ART | 4.8k | Teen and Up

“only my friends can call me by it. well, and my masters.” kestis shrugged before stepping back to sit on a stool that seemed randomly in the middle of the room. “but, we are engaged, it would be pretty weird if you were calling me by kestis.” “if it helps, my name is bode,” the jedi shadow said as he stepped forward, holding his hand out for kestis to take if he so inclined. “calling me knight akuna would be too formal for a marriage, whether or not it’s political, and—well who knows, maybe we can become friends?” [jedi shadow bode is given a mission that will end the war—marry sith prince darth kestis. that is, if he survives the first meeting.]

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Order 66 Didn't Happen, Arranged Marriage, Jedi Shadow Bode Akuna, Sith Cal Kestis, First Meetings, Marriage Contracts, Negotiations, Bode Akuna is a Mess, Fluff and Humor, Pre-Relationship, Stewjoni Cal Kestis

FIND THE FULL ART PIECE HERE

Paper and Stone

ART AND FIC | 7.4k | Teen and Up | includes Bode/Tayala

Cal goes to Nova Garon to confront Bode, but he finds the man's quarters full of echoes that show him a side of Bode Cal never thought he'd see.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Psychometry | Force Echo (Star Wars), Cal goes to Nova Garon but finds more than he expects, echoes upon echoes upon echoes, SpyScrapper, if you wanted more of Bode and Tayala's relationship here you go

FIND THE FULL ART PIECE HERE (and a secret bonus here~)

love is death, love is dying; love is steel, a silver lining

FIC | .5k | Teen and Up

Cal is wary of the blaster Bode has given him. Bode teaches him some basic gun safety.

Tags: Guns, Canon Compliant, Sort Of, Maybe - Freeform, You Decide, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Missing Scene, Implied Relationships, Angst

Second Date! An Ode to Visual Novels

VIDEO | 1hr | Teen and Up

Tags: visual novel, time travel fix-it, time loop, simulated dating sim, Bode POV

fire still burns in a vacuum

FIC | 1.6k | Teen and Up

It's been a year and Cal returns to the observatory for the first time. He hadn't expected someone else to do the same.

Tags: Grief/Mourning, Character Study, Relationship Study, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Author Welcomes All Interpretations, This Is a Study On Cal's Grief With a Twist at the End, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Dark Themes

FIND THE FULL ART PIECE HERE

Roots in Place of my Heart

8.8k | Mature | includes Bode/Tayala

When Bode saw the date, he had to swallow down a mix of blood and bile. There’s something growing in Bode’s chest, filling out the space that was left vacated when Tayala died and took his heart with her. They say the only cure to grief is life. Or death.

Tags: Hanahaki Disease with my own twist on it, Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Body Horror, Love Confessions, Pretending you’re fine even though you’re very much not, Grief/Mourning

Lights Glow in your Wake

FIC | 5.4k | Teen and Up

Cal gives Bode a gift for their anniversary. The trouble is- their anniversary isn't for another three weeks, Bode is sure of it.

Tags: Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Anniversary, Established Relationship, Planet Tanalorr, POV Bode Akuna, POV Third Person Limited, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Jedi Culture & Customs

Blue Skies Over Bad Lands

FIC | 18.6k | Mature

Bode looks up and Cal’s gaze snags his immediately, drawing him in. The rebel Jedi is a remarkable combination of wariness and vulnerability, like no matter how hard Cal tries to steel himself against the pain, his grief and longing and love are too strong, too pure to be contained. They shine through the cracks like a ray of blazing light. (Or: Bode and Cal fall in love. It complicates things.)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fix-It, Mild Sexual Content, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Pining, Confessions, Secret Identity Fail, Canon Rewriteish, Cal Kestis is a Force of Nature and Bode couldn't get off this ride even if he wanted to, They're In Love Your Honor

I Don't Wanna Say No to This

FIC | 4.1k | Teen and Up

Bode is not actually looking for Cal Kestis when he trips over him on his way out of the bar. He’s looking for work, actually— he needs to fix up the ancient freighter he’d wound up buying for Kata and himself, that first awful week after finding Tanalorr and feeling it clutching at him in the Force, the planet a near-sentient thing, clawing, greedy… He shakes off the sensation, hopes it’s only a memory, and looks down at Kestis. He’s unconscious, his face a single bruise, and there are four beings surrounding them. None of them look like anyone he’d leave alone in an alley with anyone, even someone who most likely wants him very dead.

Tags: Bittersweet, Angst, Miscommunication, Reunions, Forgiveness, Rescue, Implied/Referenced Slavery, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Bode was not ready to face his past, Cal's not emotionally capable of facing his past, Together they make like one entire functioning person, Past Relationship(s), Established Relationship

FIND THE FULL ART PIECE HERE

a soft place to land

FIC | 3.8k | Mature

A hot day on Koboh leads to a shared shower and a realization - sometimes it's nice to be taken care of.

Tags: Smitten Bode Akuna, Bode Akuna Lives, Hair Washing, Making Out, i still don't know how to tag these things, Fluff and Mush, Near-Human Cal Kestis, Again, sharp teeth sharp teeth sharp teeth, Body Worship, Smitten Cal Kestis, Soft Cal Kestis, POV Bode Akuna, soft intimacy, Light Angst, showering together, Not Canon Compliant, Post-game, We call this "fluid dynamics" with the way Cal and Bode keep switching

[isaacthedruid]

i wrote this weird little zombie poem/short story and for some reason my brain was supplying buck and eddie from 9-1-1 as the characters, so here’s the buddie cut of this stupid little story (trigger warnings of the normal zombie related media stuff<3)

my best friend died on thursday– car crash.

it’s saturday now but don’t cry for him, he was alive a few hours later. 

my best friend died on thursday– but i think he came back wrong.

i still don’t understand what happened, 

buck was in the hospital, in a coma and dead to the world. 

i was sat there with him, holding his limp hand in mine, 

his girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) didn’t have the heart to show. 

he looked so small and pale, covered in bandages from head to toe. 

then his heart stopped, they couldn’t get it pumping again. 

they dragged me out of the room, to let them work. 

thursday, 1:17pm.

thursday, 3:34pm, buck called me. 

i hadn’t left the hospital, i thought it was some sick fucking joke. 

“my best friend just died, how fucking dare you-” i remember yelling into the phone. 

that certainly turned some heads but then he was standing there, 

my fucking dead best friend, in a hospital gown with bandages hung loosely off of him. 

what the fuck– i thought i was dreaming–

some fucked up grief induced hallucination but nurses were scrambling to help him. 

the person from the morgue was running down the hallway after him. 

all of them ushered him away, into an exam room. 

he was making a scene, apparently i was too. 

what the actual fuck- 

no, no, no- his heart stopped, all brain activity had died, he died-

anyways, i passed out. (thursday, i don’t know what time.)

i must have hit my head pretty hard on the way down

and there he was, sat like i had been earlier, holding my hand. 

his hand was cold, that pink that always flushed his skin hadn’t come back yet. 

the nurses had given him some clothes and me, a bandage for my head. 

“you died, buck..” i said.

“it didn’t stick,” he shrugged. 

they wanted to keep him for observation but he disagreed, seeing as he was perfectly fine. 

every scan was clear, even the random ones they pulled out of their asses to keep him longer.

my best friend who had just died, who earlier was more bandage than skin, was fine. 

i don’t get it but they discharged the both of us, 

we uber’d back to his place, he wouldn’t let me sleep on the couch, 

i can’t remember his reasoning but we shared his bed– i held him in my arms.

(we cuddled, not that either will actually admit it.)

friday, 8;13am, he was gone when i woke up. 

i found him downstairs, doubled over the toilet. 

the kitchen, a mess and food strewn out across the counters.

the ground beef (we were planning to cook for dinner) was torn into–

like an animal had got to it. he had eaten it, my brain supplied.

“don’t throw that away!” he said, wiping the bile from his mouth. 

“did you eat this?” i asked, the beef held frozen over the trash.

“i- you know the answer to that.” 

“why?” i sighed, rubbing at my temples and setting the half eaten- jesus- 

i sat the half eaten thing of ground beef back where i found it.

my best friend looked at it, pink and raw and ground, and then back to me, 

i wasn’t sure what buck was exactly getting at with that look. 

he scooped his fork into the beef, not breaking eye contact with me and took a bite. 

i nearly vomited but he seemed fine, unaffected,

which confused me given the initial vomiting on his part.

“what the actual fuck are you doing?” 

“what? i’m hungry,” he said with his mouthful.

“so, some raw meat was your choice of a nice breakfast?” 

“i cooked some eggs but they made me hurl.” 

“are you fucking serious, buck, and this? this isn’t making you sick?” 

“nope.” he answered matter-of-factly. 

friday, 7;46pm, he broke up with his girlfriend. 

his girlfriend of three years, the woman he was going to propose to next month. 

it’s kinda understandable as she didn’t visit him in the hospital when he literally died. 

other than that, the breakup came out of nowhere. broken up just like that.

she’d come to check on us– no, come to check on him. 

(we had an understanding. she didn’t like me and i didn’t like her either.) 

(she always said i was jealous of her which… i can’t fight her on.)

he was angry at her, rightfully so, and things got heated. 

she’d cheated on him, she revealed post-breakup. i shouldn’t have been listening–

but it was kinda hard to ignore when they were screaming at each other

and then she was screaming bloody murder. 

i ran into the kitchen, she was on the ground flailing and he was on top of her-

holy fucking shit, my best friend fucking bit her! 

he tore right through her neck and gnawed at her flesh. 

what the actual fuck was happening? holy fucking shit, this was actually happening. 

i pushed him off of her but she’d already bled out. 

“do you mind?” he asked, blood smeared across his face. coating his nose and chin.

“yes. i do mind! you- holy fucking shit, buck! are you crazy?” 

“i was hungry,” he said meekly. “also, she cheated on me and i-”

 “you didn’t have to eat her!” 

saturday, 1:02am, we buried the body in a field out in the middle of nowhere. 

we buried a body in the middle of nowhere.

no, we buried the bits and pieces that my best friend decided he didn’t want to eat.

what the actual fuck is my life turning into? 

“this better not become a habit of yours.” i sighed, dropping my shovel. 

“and what if it does?” buck smirked. 

“i’m not helping you bury more body parts.” 

“oh really?” 

“really.” i said, lying through my teeth.

it’s him and i til the end of the line, i’m his accomplice in this

and i wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“so, are you zombie?” i asked, starting up the truck. 

“i think so.” he replied, looking out the window. “are you okay with that?” 

“are you still, y’know, you?”

“i think so.” he repeated.

“then yeah…” i laughed, awkwardly as i often do. “as long as you don’t eat me.” 

“i wasn’t planning on it.” 

“i’m glad.” 

“besides, it would be kinda mean to eat you before i take you on a date.” 

“what-” 

“i’m serious, eddie.” 

“oh.” i blanched, “i’d like that.” 

oh. oh- oh my god? what the fuck is happening?

it’s not every day you get to bury a body with your best friend 

or burn evidence or scrub the kitchen down from top to bottom 

because he happened to decide he was craving human flesh. 

saturday, 7:30am, my boyfriend after a long conversation, took me out for breakfast. 

he was full, he’d just eaten an entire person minus the gallbladder and some bones

because apparently he’s like a cat who won’t eat every part of the mouse. 

i still don’t understand how this happened, he died,

became a honest to god zombie, he ate his cheating girlfriend, 

we buried her body, lied to the police and now, 

here, we are getting breakfast. 

how the fuck did i manage to get a boyfriend out of this…

it’s been a long two days.

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Favorite New Manga and Graphic Novels I Read in 2023

It's time to take a look at the comics and manga I read this year! I read  a whopping 78 manga and graphic novels in all. Here's a link to my Goodreads year in books (the manga is at the beginning, the novels start with Siren Queen) and my storygraph wrap up.

I also read 36 novels! If you want to see my favorites, check out my reviews here!

And finally, I've got the continuing manga series I've enjoyed this year here, so check that post out too!

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen

This is a tale about a first-generation Vietnamese-American boy struggling with coming out to his mother. He connects with his mother through fairytales-- she uses them to express her journey as an immigrant, and he uses them to explore his queerness and identity as a Vietnamese kid growing up in America. It's an absolutely gorgeous book full of Trung Le Nguyen's signature stunning art. The fantastical, ethereal fairy tales are weaved beautifully into the lives of the characters. The book explores how fairy tales can form connection, can express culture, can tap deeply into something real and true, and can offer tragedy and catharsis. The protagonist uses fairy tales to write his own story, and the ending is lovely and moving.

Exit Stage Left: The Snagglepuss Chronicles by Mark Russell and Mike Feehan

You may know Mark Russell from his darker, socially aware re-imagining of the Flintstones, which made quite a splash on Tumblr with this post. Well, I had pleasure of meeting him at a local convention, and I finally got his comic re-imagining of Snagglepuss, also of Hanna-Barbera. He re-imagines the titular pink puma as a closeted gay playwright in the 50's dealing with McCarthyism. It's as wild as it sounds,but also really digs into the politics of the time, the struggle of standing against oppression and how art fights through suppression and censorship. It's tragic, hopeful, poignant and full of historical references. I enjoyed it ! Definitely be cautious if you're deeply disturbed by homophobia and suicide.

The Summer Hikaru Died by Mokumokuren

A story about a teenage boy, Yoshiki, who realizes that his best friend and crush Hikaru has died and been replaced by a strange eldritch being who is imitating him. But, missing his loved one and desperate to cling to any piece of him, Yoshiki decides to keep on having a relationship with this mysterious entity. This book's horror is visceral and sublime, especially the bizarre, creepy, beautiful body horror involving the being who replaced Hikaru. It's an exploration of anxieties involving grief, relationships, and sexuality that hits just right, and the atmosphere layered with dread is top notch. I love me some messed up relationships and unknowable queer monsters, and this book delivers.

Chainsaw Man, Look Back and Goodbye Eri by Tatsuki Fujimoto

Chainsaw Man needs no introduction, but I did end up really enjoying the story of the doggy-devil boy hunting other devils. It got so tragic and intense at the end, with lots of great surreal horror imagery and darkly funny moments. I'm impressed it went so hard, though the random powers that kept piling up made what was happening hard to follow at times, especially in fights. I'm also enjoying the current weird arc starring a class-A disaster girl and the demon sharing her body.

Look Back

I really do enjoy how Fuijimoto writes messy pre-teen/teenage girls. They ring so true. The manga follows the fraught friendship between two girls as they create manga, exploring the struggle of art mixing with real relationships, and how someone keeps creating after tragedy. It's a little hard to follow at times (especially since I have to differentiate the leads based on hairstyle), but it's a good read.

Goodbye Eri

Probably my least favorite of the three, but it's a fun read- a weird ride that examines the thin line between fiction and reality in art and makes good use of Fujimoto's cinephile background and signature gaslight gatekeep girlboss characters.

Is Love the Answer? by Uta Isaki

The story follows a teenage girl, Chika, who has always struggled with not being attracted to anyone. When Chika enters college, she meets queer people all across the spectrum of asexuality, and starts exploring her own identity. As an ace, this is the best story about asexuality that I've read. It was a nuanced look at asexuality and queerness and all the variations. Chika's journey and how she found her community was moving and poignant. It's a honest, moving look at relationships and identity, and how complicated and hard to define both of those things can be. I loved the moments of Chika imagining herself as an alien to explore and cope, and how she bonded with people through magical girl shows and other geekery. My favorite new manga of the year, it really connected with me!

The Girl that Can’t Get a Girlfriend by Mieri Hiranishi

Oh girl, I've been there. This is a fun autobiographical comic about a butch4butch lesbian's struggles finding a partner in a word that favors butch/femme, and it's just an honest look at the messiness of loneliness and relationships. I also appreciate that crushing on Haruka in Sailor Moon and becoming a HaruMichi stan was the beginning the author's queer awakening because uh...same! She has taste, and is truly relatable.

Qualia the Purple: The Complete Manga Collection by Hisamitsu Ueo and Shirou Tsunashima

See my review of the light novel here for my general thoughts on the story, since it's adapted pretty faithfully. I do think the manga is overall the best experience though, because the illustrations break up the detailed explanations of quantum mechanics a bit, and it includes a bit of extra content that fleshes things out, especially withthe ending.

The Single Life: 60 year old lesbian who is single and living alone by Akiko Morishima

Just like it says on the tin, this focuses on a 60-year-old single lesbian. And definitely the shortest thing on here, since only one 30 page chapter is out.  It's a grounded story about a woman looking back on her journey to finding her identity, touching on sexism in the workplace and other challenges. It paints a portrait of a proudly gay elder who's still perfectly content being single and feels fulfilled by the life she had rather than regretting past relationships. I definitely want to see more.

Daemons of the Shadow Realm by Hiromu Arakawa

Arakawa's latest, the story is about a boy who lives in a small village with his little sister is imprisoned and has to carry out a mysterious duty...but then the village is attacked, supernatural daemons awaken, and everything he knows might be wrong. I'm enjoying this fun romp so far! It delivers an really nice plot twist right out the gate (and an excellent subversion of the usual shonen "must-protect-my-saintly-sister" narratives). It boasts Arakawa's usual fun cast and interesting world (and cool ladies). There's some slight tone and pacing issues in the first part- there's so much time spent explaining mechanics the lead doesn't really get to react to his life turning upside down. But it starts smoothing out by the second volume. I'm excited to see what's next!

Superman: Space Age by Mark Russell and Michael Allred

This is a retelling of Superman set throughout the late fifties to early eighties that has Superman interact with the political and social upheaval of the time and question his own role in things. It explored the Superman mythos through a lot of cool new angles, and has a good Lois (why yes she would break Watergate) which is how I always measure a Superman adaptation. My one complaint is, while I liked some of the things it did with Batman, the ending with the Joker was pretty weak. The ending of the overall comic will also be bizarre for anyone not uses to how weird comics can get, but I think I dug it.

#DRCL by Shin'ichi Sakamoto

A manga retelling of Dracula that focuses on Mina as the protagonist and imagines the characters at an English prep school. It adds a lot of  diversity to the characters  and has exquisite, evocative art. I'm curious where it will go and what it  intends to do with all it's changes (especially Lucy), because right now it's mostly vibes and creepiness and the direction isn't clear.

[c0smoshit]

Hun, I just saw your post about my request being posted earlier! Don't worry about it! Take all the time you need and I want you to enjoy it as much as you can! I know you'll do amazing, and it'll be worth the wait! I am so sorry Tymblr has been a bitch

Blue eyes ミ★

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ≫ Cloud Strife/Reader

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕝𝕠𝕥 ≫ Cloud's been having some horrific dreams lately

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ angst!, fluff too, traumas, nightmares, slight harrasment from a drunk guy, visions, voices, not proofread!

⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ Sorry for the inactivity and tumblr being a bitch :(( But anyways, enjoy this mess 🫶😭

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ≫ 4.462

« Red »

The colour his mind pictured when he started hearing things, seeing them. His head spinned and hurt, closing his eyes tightly while strange voices filled his mind.

He didn't know where they came from or why they did it, but he was so tired of them.

At first it didn't happen really often, it all started when he stepped on that polluted city. It caused him such a weird and sad feeling, Midgar, the city that was supposed to be such an advance in technology, bringing fresh and huge mako reactors to create those little colorful pearls everyone seemed to want.

But it was all bullshit, they were destroying the planet, milking every mako drop out of it. It got to a point were people couldn't even see the daylight from the slums, greeted by hours and hours of darkness and emptiness.

His mind often circled around how lifeless the faces of the people were, matched with the depressing sight of the metallic buildings and playgrounds. The only natural light that beamed through the endless sandy paths were the children, bringing honest giggles and big jovial grins to the world.

How would it feel to be a kid again?

Nostalgia rested deep inside him, he mourned those years, when it all felt right and real.

Long walks along the little village with his mother, longer ones in the mountains by the back of his house.

Breathe clean air, sleeping with the sound of the air hitting the slope of the mountains with persistence.

His mother caressing his hair as he told her not to ruffle it up

"Learning" how to be a SOLDIER by himself.

He reminisces about his loneliness too, he constantly looked foward to what Tifa's friends were up to.

Although he didn't really fit with anyone on Nibelheim besides Tifa, he was happy and he had dreams. Dreams that were soon sliced by a huge Masamune.

No matter how hard his subconciousness, driven by the silhouette of SOLDIERS and Sephiroth, tried to tell him that those kids were inferior to him, they seemed to be so joyful and honestly happy.

And he just... was there.

Those were the happiest years he had ever looked back on, and now they just remained as memories.

But time appeared to exacerbate those imminent dark nights.

People would frequently put him as a companionless guy, one of many who enjoyed the silent strides of their own feet. And he was, he loved being alone, not with his mind.

He had become accustomed to being alone, he always had been a solitary person and that's all he knew.

His mind roved around his past, his memories, and he often found himself trying to decipher if they were real or just some images that this new voice had placed deeply inside his psyche.

Maybe that was the reason he actually likes spending time with the group, not really the fact that he got to be with them but the comfort of the voices being subdued by them. Even if it just lasted some hours.

Midgar had a dark aura around it that he only seemed to discern. And it got worse and worse, scarlet painted memories of the ones he couldn't protect.

He was tired, tired of it all.

Tired of fighting only to be compensated with grief and regret.

Tired of taking care of everyone, as cruel as it sounded.

Tired of seeing him everywhere, even on the safety of your arms.

The man, if he even deserved that name, who took his life away savagely, his dreams and his trust for him. The day he remembers the most, yet so vaguely, a chaos of blurred ( burnt ) out images inside his messed up brain.

The years had taken away decades of sanity that should still remain inside him.

And hundreds of hours of sleep too.

His body sometimes walked itself out of his makeshift appartment Tifa had lent him, governed by the need of "fresh" air. Nonetheless they were just mere excuses for the fear he felt, knowing that he had to sleep that night with his own thoughts.

He saw you once, streets painted with the caliginosity of the moon, you looked calm as you feet dragged you through the solid metal walls.

He pondered about going and talk to you, but he opted to just watch you fade away into the dead of night. Kind of creepy, he thought, but he didn't want to disturb your peace.

But the metal clank of his comically large sword, resting heavily on his back almost exposed him. Two confused glowing orbs looked around, trying to decipher what they just heard. However they eventually calmed themselves down and continued their enigmatic pace.

He let out a sigh of relief he wasn't aware was holding, lowering the rapid gloved hand that tried to stop the movement of his sword from the handle.

Before he decided that he should leave you alone, something sparkled inside him, something was wrong.

He resumed his steps and before he even had a chance to think, some strange man approached you. Maybe you had a boyfriend he didn't know about?

That option was quickly discarded as your face scrunched up in disgust for a brief moment before you smiled at the man, telling him something. Something he didn't seem really excited about as he slurred some words out of his mouth while closing the distance between the both of you.

His forbearance soon emptied itself, he couldn't bear seeing you like this for another minute. He was aware you knew how to manage yourself in fights and this wouldn't be the first time your shin ended on some guy's crotch.

But everytime something like this occurs, you try to be as polite as you posibly can, not wanting the situation to escalate to a higher problem. Muttering some

"I'm fine thank you"

Your hands crossed in front of your chest, tugging tightly your own shirt as you tried to walk away. But the weird guy got even closer to you, smiling as if he was proud of winning a medal, trying to cage you into the wall.

"Aww cmon, I just wanna have some fun tonight"

His disgusting drunken reek filled your poor nostrils, god why couldn't he just walk away or something?

"You don't want to have some fun?"

You were forced to stop dead on your tracks as his hand launched itself, hitting the wall besides you, ending up at your eye level.

"Hey-"

Your eyes widened in horror as he came closer to your face, whispering something into your ear that your mind couldn't process, as the only thing that popped up instead was the image of your fist fitting so good into his cheekbone.

The hand that grabbed your waist was your last straw, but before you could land a decent blow into the man's face something stopped you. Well, rather someone.

Some signature light blonde locks followed by a stoic and quite angry expression appeared behind the guy, his thin lips parted, words fell out of them full of irritation.

"Mind your own bussiness, freak"

A scoff was heard but it was soon replaced by a leather sound, the yank of someone's jacket followed by the loud sound of a body hitting the ground.

The man quickly got himself up, dusting off his clothes and when he was ready to make some comments about the appearance of the one who had taken him down, he decided to shut his mouth as his eyes travelled to the weapon he was wearing.

That and his intimidating appearance, the moon casting it's light into his back so his face was dark enough not to reveal his features, but not his piercing mako eyes.

Eyes that stared down at him with the most disgusting look he had ever seen on anyone's face before.

And in spite of the fact that Cloud wasn't that intimidating like Barret could be, his actions made his whole facade darker. He wasn't a tall and beefy guy, but he was strong.

Just by one movement of his sword he could slice a motorbike in half, his dexterity with blades was what made him feared.

And yet he was also good in close battles, clear agility as he moved through both the battlefield and the hits that were thrown at him. That and his quick thinking and last minute dodges he offered too.

The man had already vanished into the rumbling engines that worked overnight, fused with the quiet chatter of the souls who worked late. You sighed out in harmony with his grip softening on the handle of his sword once again.

You had so many questions that needed to be answered right now, the louder one asking how come he was here tonight?

The night ended with him taking you back home, telling you that you should be more careful, gaining a frow of your brows and you saying something about how you could protect yourself.

And he knew that, he had seen you fight with him, taking down enemies that he was too slow to see. But he still wanted to take a look after you, make sure nobody harmed you in any ways.

He wanted to be there the way you were there for him.

« Blue »

The way his visions were tinted like, navy blue mixed with some undertones of green.

They were the worst part of all this madness he was enduring.

They caused him headaches and the feeling of disorientation, and he absolutely despised being lost. He didn't even know who he was or why he was here, his mind was the worst puzzle he had to ever go through.

However, that wasn't the darkest thing about it.

The visions felt so real, vivid images flashing through his mind like a high speed train, travelling through all his senses and flooding them.

He could see everything and no matter how hard he tried to squeeze his eyes shut, his own brain forced them open.

He could hear the cries and wailings for mercy, sometimes for help, his help.

He could touch, but everything was so far away yet so close to him.

He could taste the bitter-sweet savour of guilt.

The rancid smell of sadness.

The only sound that brought comfort to him, as it being a signal that he was still alive, ceased it's rythmic pumping. A looming mist spreading from his stomach to the rest of his body, fueling his nerves.

He could sense that they either were years appart from his timeline or mere minutes away.

But the conclusions all ended up in the same alleyway, they were going to happen.

Something deep inside whispered into his pierced ear that he couldn't do anything about them, that they weren't just some visions inside his head.

And they frightened him, watching from an imaginary seat how his friends died, how the planet was destroyed, his face.

As a result from this, his head became a cage that no matter how hard he tried to break the iron bars with his naked hands, he was too weak to do so. He just wanted liberty.

That cage multiplied at least ten times the feeling of claustrophobia the aura of the city gave him.

"No!"

A heartrending cry ringed painfully through his ears, loud enough to make them feel as if they were about to bleed.

His eyes were closed but he didn't want them open either way, the ground felt cold even with his boots on.

"Please don't"

The agonizing voice didn't die down like he was waiting for, instead it increased it's volume, almost as if it wanted for him to look up and see what was going on.

And eventually, he did.

His eyes searched for the voice ( for you ), eyes falling on the hand that was clutching for dear life a metal structure.

He recognized the place right away, the lukewarm temperature envolving the gears and his body, the mustiness that filled up his nose. He was inside a reactor.

Faint lights gloomed upon his clothes as his feet dragged him through the grilles, his back felt empty. He didn't have the soothing weight of his weapon, feeling vulnerable to whoever wanted to fight him.

"Please, Cloud"

That did it for him, it was unmistakably you.

Your sweet and sometimes monotone tone was gone, blatantly swapped with a much more startled and uneasy one. Your hands were the only thing visible for him to see right now, the image of your body suspended in the air already present inside his brain.

He didn't know why but a memory of your hand touching his flooded his mind, he liked the softness of them, he wished he didn't had gloves on.

The more intense your cries became, the more he wanted to scream back at you, tell you that he was there, that you were going to be fine.

But nothing came out of his mouth

He kneeled down in front of you, finally able to see your face. But he didn't like the way you were sweating, how your eyes widened in horror as you looked back at him. He wanted to see your features soften, to hear your laugh, your voice telling him not to overwork himself.

The abyss consumed him, what seemed like miles and miles of hollowness and darkness bellow you.

Your left hand slipped off the edge with a yelp, you were slowly sinking down and he wasn't going to let you do so. His hand grabbed the one that was still gripping the platform, clutching it tightly.

He wouldn't let you slip off that easily.

Your quivering voice was the only sound that could deafen the roar of the engines around the both of you. Although you were visibly sweating, your hand felt cold under the thin layer of his black gloves.

An invisible rock attached to your feet by a thick rope made you feel heavier than before, gradually dragging you lower and lower from his grasp.

He couldn't even let out grunts or sighs out of his mouth, he wanted to tell you to hold on, just a bit more and you were going to be safe with him once again.

He tried to lift you up, but you didn't budge. His body tensed up and he was becoming more and more impatient.

By the time your hand finally gave up on him, he was laying face down on the ground, his feet stopping him from falling down with you.

"I'm sorry"

A tear slipped from your tired eyes, your body dissapearing into the void with the saddest smile he had ever seen on your face. He didn't want to ever see that expression again, he wanted you to smile brightly, not fade out lights with it.

And why were you apologizing? He should be the one to do so, he was unable to save you. You should be here with him now, enveloping your loving arms around him while you thanked him.

He felt his heart being crushed down, he wouldn't be able to feel you pat his shoulder in a reassuring way whenever he had to fight someone again, your hands dusting off his clothes after a long mission.

He wanted to cry, to scream, to kill someone.

But his mouth was sealed shut, his hands trembled but no tears seemed to stain his cheeks. His heart pumped harshly inside his chest and as if someone were tugging his hair, his head hurt.

And when he closed his eyes, they were opened again.

But he wasn't met with cramped, massive iron walls around him, he was met with his unfurnished blank wall.

Thank god, he thought.

His sheet was between his legs and the floor, a cotton waterfall on the side rail of the bed. His shirt was ridden up above his belly button, the moon was still up in the sky staring at him with a motionless facade. And he could've sworn it was mocking him.

He had sat up abruptly, letting out a screech he wanted to let out for a while now, reverberating from his chest and into the small room. He tried to calm his breathing, his hands clutched the matress bellow him.

His hair was messier than it usually was, he stared at the closed window and into the incessant lightless sky.

For the first time in his life he was pleased to see those streets again.

That took place about week ago and of course he didn't tell anyone. He didn't want to pile more stress and worry on the shoulders of the group.

On the outside, his demeanour didn't change a bit. Well, not for the ones who didn't know him.

His subtle tiredness and grumpiness was cristal clear for you to notice. His patience died down sooner than before and his irascibility when he was fighting someone was what exposed him.

And if his answers were dry and short they basically were nonexistent now.

But he had a thick skull and no matter how many times you asked him—

"Is everything alright?"

His head turned around to see you, a confused frown rested on his face. Had he done anything weird?

—he didn't seem to answer you.

He then shook his head and his hand, silently telling you that he was fine. But you stopped yourself before asking him a second time, you didn't want to be a nuisance either way.

You were walking next to him a few meters away from the group in front of you. They walked back to Seventh heaven, but you purposedly abandoned your talk to walk with Cloud instead.

And he didn't seem bothered by it, he appreciated the way you cared about him, but he couldn't tell you what was happening, not now.

He didn't dare to look at you, he knew if he did so, flashes of his prior dreams would engulf his mind.

Sooner or later he did, throbbing guilt crossed painfully his mind when he did so. He saw blue in your eyes.

An ocean emerged in front of his eyes, submerging your face and then your clothes, coalesced with a big meadow of beatiful grown grass that enveloped your features.

He could've found this view incredibly magestic if it wasn't for the fact that he knew what was about to happen.

He didn't- He couldn't take it anymore.

His skull appeared to be thicker inside his skin, crushing down his brain. His hands swiftly made contact with his forehead, eyes closed shut and avoiding to see anything.

Whispers and sometimes yells echoed through the dim alleyway, his knees bucking as he supported himself on the wall.

His eyes achingly opened up again, his hands grasped something that was too soft to be a stone wall, he saw your face.

"Please don't- Please don't go"

"to the reactor..."

Your soft voice with some hints of sleepiness reached his eardrums, was he dreaming?

A question he found himself asking a lot lately, not knowing how to discern between reality and a vision or a dream.

He hesitated to open his eyes once again, his headache had dissapeared but his eyelids felt heavier than before.

When was before?

He saw your face, but you weren't staring at him back. Subsequently your hands stroked his hair tenderly, a touch he would love to die for.

You were humming softly, his mother did that a lot when she was cleaning him up and tucking him before sleep.

He wanted to admire your beauty for just a little while, the moon stared at him once again, but this time he was the one who laughed at it.

Your soft skin, your hair released from the confines of your hair tie, your lips, your eyelashes that batted so cutely whenever you saw an animal, your nose.

You were from another dimension.

And he melted right away after you noticed that he was awake, your smile being the first thing that came into his vision. The loss of warmth on his blonde locks made him a bit mad.

That was when he noticed where he was laying on, your legs. Blood rushed to his cheeks, creating a slight blush on his pale skin. But he shrugged his thoughts fast enough for you not to notice his weakness.

He wished that whenever he had a nightmare or a crude vision your thighs would be there to craddle his head.

He didn't know why he was here but he didn't want to hear the answer too, he was more than happy to be there either way.

He knew he could speak right now, but he didn't have anything to say. Your hand falling down into his cheek followed with a kind look on your lips was what kept him silent.

And the words that fell from them were the only reason he was still fighting Shinra, fighting with you, for you, to hear them again and again.

He didn't demand poetic phrases for him to melt on spot, just by hearing the most simple reassuring worss fall from your lips was more than enough for him.

"I'm here for you "

He spent the rest of the night curled up like a ball on top of your legs, hearing your honeyed words deliciously filling his ears repeatedly.

He wouldn't tell you why he had passed out on top of you, why had he pushed you to the wall in front of the group as he anxiously warned you.

And he ceirtantly wouldn't tell you about how his dream of you walking alone in an alleyway was the reason his body walked itself out of his appartment.

The softness of your skin wasn't there anymore it was replaced by your cozy pillow, but it wasn't enough for him.

Dawn's first light entered through your closed window, hitting his face. He had slept without any worries for the first time in weeks, drowned in your touch.

He wanted to thank you, he only had spent a night with you and you had managed to clear his mind from any racing thoughts. His head craved for your touch, his arms and his hands too.

He looked down and he saw his usual clothes, but now they smelled like you.

But you weren't there, he looked around and he took advatange of the quiet dawn to see your room. It was the same size as his own one, but it was definitely prettier than his.

Clean sheets deliciously wrapped around his body that fell down onto his legs when he sat up on the bed, your bed. Cute posters and images about some cats, family and friends laying around on your desk or hanging on the wall.

He rubbed his somnolent eyes before getting off the bed with a swift move, laying on his feet. He noticed that they were lighter than before and when he looked down, he wasn't wearing his boots anymore. You had taken the time to take them off before getting him inside your bed, a small smile formed on his lips at the thought.

His head pekeed through your door as he opened it as quietly as he could, it was still pretty early so he didn't want to wake you up if you were still around.

Without the huge piece of metal behind his back he was pretty quiet, so he used that on his advantage.

His feet guided him until he reached what seemed to be like your living room, it was the same like your bedroom. It was a copy of his own one but much cozier.

But he didn't have time to look around like he did with your room, you were a much more pleasant sight to see. He walked silently until he was right next to your sleeping form.

The first thing that crossed his mind was how gorgerous you were like this, comfy and relaxed under the spell of sleepiness. Your rythmic slow-paced breaths, they reminded him of the sea.

However, he immediately felt bad for stealing your bed, he noticed the way you were curled up on the small couch, your back was probably going to kill you when you woke up.

So without any second thought, his left hand wrapped itself bellow your knees while his right one simultaneously enveloped your back. He gently lifted you up in his arms, your head lolling to the side until it met his shoulder, your temple resting next to his chest.

He wasn't going to lie to himself, he sometimes daydreamed about carrying you like this, how would it feel. Your sweet "thank you"'s echoed inside his head when he lifted your harmed form after a cruel battle, your arms hugging his neck.

A few minutes passed and he thanked his hard training for being able to hold you like this for a long while.

Your body shivered, right, you didn't seem to have a spare blanket other than the one in your bed. So he pressed his body closer to yours, trying to warm you up.

He knows he's already called you pretty and gorgerous over ten times now, but god, he needed to remark it. And right now you looked as cute as those cats you seemed to love, unconciously hiding your face on his chest with a long sigh.

He marched back into your room and he noticed that his buster sword was resting on the right wall of the living room, next to his boots.

The more he noticed those little details, the more he wanted to hold you close to him.

But when he finally reached your room after an agonizing ( purposely ) slow pace, it was time for you to properly rest.

So he placed you on top of your mattress, heart fluttering when he saw your little stretch on the bed. He enveloped your body with your blanket, mimicking your pleasured smile when he did so.

If only time could stop right now

He closed the curtains so the light didn't disturb your well deserved sleep like it did to him and then he sat down next to your bed.

Thankful for having a cure for his illnesses.

[maplemind]

Ok I’m having thoughts about the Uther / Arthur dynamic…

I think that Arthur was entirely raised by wet nurses / nannies / etc because Uther’s negative feelings were too strong.

I think for most of Arthur’s youth, Uther resented, regretted, and somehow blamed Arthur for the loss of Ygraine. And I think Uther essentially avoided his own son as much as he could get away with.

I think he got so desperate for an heir (and of course the problem couldn’t be with him, it had to be Ygraine’s reproductive system that was faulty), that he didn’t do his research, or didn’t listen to warnings, or somehow believed himself above the potential consequences.

I bet he knew that a life would be taken, but he assumed it would be some peasant of Camelot, maybe a knight, maybe one of his lords, but thought he and his family would be immune and would obviously be spared. Because, y’know, he’s the king of Camelot.

And I think he blamed Arthur for some messed up reason (I mean, ok, grief does weird things to people).

And I think every time he realised Arthur isn’t a carbon copy of him, isn’t the perfect heir (impossibly strong, talented, and stoic) he resents him and regrets that he traded the love of his life for “this disappointment”. Surely magic should have given him the absolute perfect heir? And person so amazing they’re beyond all human comprehension, right? Like Hercules, or Achilles.

Also, the way Uther loses his godamn mind when Morgana is dying in S3, the way he waxes lyrical about how important she is to him, how he can’t live without her… yet Arthur has been dying twice by this point and Uther gets no where near as upset. In fact, he sits with his dying son once, admits that his death is inevitable, then goes about his day without a second glance…

And because of the way his father couldn’t even spare him a glance, let alone a hug, or comfort, or an “I love you, I’m proud of you”, I don’t think Arthur knows what affection really is. I don’t think he truly understands how love feels.

I think that’s why he was so off-balance when he went to save Ealdor with Merlin and saw the way he and his mother interacted. It threw everything he’d ever known into doubt.

Maybe he thought that kind of love, affection, and physical comfort is for poor people, because that’s what his experience told him.

And maybe it made Arthur think - “what if my mother had survived? What if my father’s life had been taken instead?”

And what if Ygraine had lived and Uther had died? I mean, the spell gave Uther an heir to take over when he died, and he got what he wanted, right? So if Uther dies right away… well, you’ve got your heir you wanted, he’ll take your place like he’s supposed to!

Arthur has lived his whole life feeling like he wasn’t wanted - that’s what all the evidence told him. Then he finds out he’s “the reason” his mother is dead and his father is a heartless, emotionless, bitter man?

Holy shinsplints Arthur. No wonder he couldn’t accept the affection Merlin and Guinevere clearly had for him. Maybe that’s why he kept freaking out and throwing it back in their faces, getting angry, pushing them away.

He was scared because he had absolutely no idea how to react to it - no blueprint, no examples, no evidence that his own upbringing and his father’s mentality isn’t normal.

But my god did he try and give out all the love he had stored in his heart, all the love that was wasted on his father and was never reciprocated. My god did he try.

Bless you, Arthur. My heart aches so damn hard for you.

[gardenerian]

Darling Mel!

May I give you a wee prompt to chew over? How do you think Ian and Mickey navigate how hard the holidays can be? And weird melancholy mixed with nostalgia and yearning that comes with this time of year?

It's a joy whenever you pop in in these parts! I hope you're doing well and are keeping cozy. ☕☃️🫂

hi sweetness! i am very cozy and enjoying the season 🥰 i hope you are too darling! thank you for this ask - i think about this often during this time of year...

i bet there are some memories that lurk for them both, ya know? they lost each other just before christmas once. mickey spent that christmas alone, on the run in a new place. and then ian came home to another loss, launching him into grief that changed the course of his life (again). i can imagine that it could be easy to get a little bogged down by those memories some days. to combat that, i bet they just spend some extra time together. romantic nights in, lazy days on the couch, going out for a holiday drink or two and smiling at each other at the bar. just to remind themselves that they are solid together and things are okay! maybe they spend a night eating holiday snacks and making some fun plans for the new year, to remind themselves that there is a future to look forward to!!!!

and i think there might be a pressure to Do Holidays Right sometimes, too. to make up for lost time, to give each other and their families the experiences they might not have had as kids. it's a lot to put on yourself! between the time commitments, family dynamics.... the MONEY it all costs.... they may end up feeling worn out and stretched too thin. for this, i think they'd slip away from all the noise when they can. when it's 1:00 in the morning and kev is leading everyone in drunken caroling, and fiona is back and shouting with vee, and lip has a screeching new born.... mickey pulls ian outside for a smoke. they sit quietly, passing a cigarette back and forth, leaning on each other. ian calls them an uber to go home after a few minutes of peace. no need to say goodbye to the mess inside, they'll be back again tomorrow.

then there's just.... like you said, a weird melancholy that can settle in the bones during the holidays. it can be hard to simply. not feel festive when there's so much expectation to Feel Good! i would imagine that ian gets a little down and moody in the winter. this is why they try to do some special gestures for each other. ian stocks up on the peppermint coffee creamer that mickey loves so much, mickey buys ian some goofy fuzzy socks while he's at the pharmacy getting ian's meds. more hand holding... more little kisses.... little gestures. i'm here you're here i love you!

whew! those are some thoughts! sending you and everyone a big holiday hug with a mug of hot cocoa and a comfy blanket 🎄❤️❄️✨

[mazzystar24]

bestie im starting to feel like we aren’t getting buddie after the mess that was tonight’s episode… this just gives anti-eddie people more material to bash us with and it also means a bunch if buddie fans are about to jump ship bc eddie’s a cheater… i’m losing faith in tim minear this feels very character-death-y

Hi anon!

This episode in my eyes just killed whatever 5% of me that still wasn’t fully sure that Marisol would be written off and now I’m 100% that bitch edy is on her way out so small victories

This episode was neither here nor there on the buddie front but it did have the domestic scene obviously and also the potential for Eddie dealing with why he wants a mother for Chris so bad could be a great way to get buddie even if they’re going about it in a very odd and kinda🙃 way

As for it being character death or Eddie being a cheater it may just be because like I wanna go into psychology so I do tend to look at things from all perspectives and like empathise with more things that make others be like..no- but the way I see it grief makes people do fucked up shit, it doesn’t make it okay but it makes it understandable and worth noting, and he hasn’t slept with her yet (and I doubt he will) so right now it’s sorta a grey area between cheating and emotional cheating, like for me I would defend him so hard if people try to bash him for this (unless they do go a complete shit route but again Tim loves these characters sm I doubt he would ever do that) because he’s dealt with so much trauma and shit over the years that it’s understandable to be flawed and do shitty things occasionally and now he runs into this woman who’s the mirror image of his dead wife? No one can say how they’d react in that situation

Again I’m not saying I like this storyline or that cheating is okay if you’re traumatised but what I’m saying is that it’s pretty far from character death like hen cheated on Karen with her ex because they had history and it was complicated and she was in a weird place and people found a way to forgive her and look past that and buck kissed Lucy due to his underlying issues and we got past that and I think that if any circumstance makes emotional cheating understandable it’s seeing someone who’s the split image of your dead wife

Tim minear I still trust you but I am side eyeing you - like if you were driving a car rn and I was in the passenger seat, I wouldn’t hop out and call an Uber but my hand would be inching toward the Jesus handle because you’re scaring me sometimes

Thanks anon🫶

[dani-says-stuff]

Villisca Axe Murder House

❥ Back to the Control Center

❥ Nate Hardy Masterlist

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

Nate Hardy x fem!medium(?) reader

Summary: You decide to test yourself with this investigation of the place of the gruesome octuple murders... you've yet to deside if that was a horrible idea yet.

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: gore, murder, child murder, hauntings, language, probably an inaccurate spirit box session, inconsistent capitalization, my usual grammar warning, and for this fic in particular, I recomend you watch the video before to brush up on your knowlege of what this video exactly was. I will be mentioning some of the research and background, but I will not be going into detail and will be skiping most of the info sections. This is because, due to the sensitivity of this particular haunting and the details surrounding it, it didn't feel right to add it here in this way.

Dialogue Key:

Y/N

Nate

Sam

Colby

Seth

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

It was dark by the time the boys realized they hadn't made the intro to their video yet. So, even though it would have to go about 15 minutes into the video, they decided to record their usual greeting by the wooden sign for tonight's location. 

"What's up guys, it's Sam and Colby"

"Tonight we are at one of the most, spooky, haunted houses in the United States, the Villisca Axe murder house"

Sam stepped behind the camera, showing the two guests fade in from the dark behind the sign, "Today we got Nate, Seth," he spins around to where you were, still messing with the car. Not too long ago, you all got pulled over for a light being out, just to find out the light was fine.

You stepped forward when you heard your blonde friend, waving both hands at the camera with a wide smile. 

"and Y/N!"

You stepped further - abandoning the weird occurrence with the car, slightly irritated about the ticket you got for what seems to be, no reason - and join the group instead. 

"Right now we start a night alone, in this house. We are about to tell you, guys, one of the most insane murder mysteries I've ever heard of."

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

Usually, haunted places didn't have the best energy surrounding them, but that was hardly unusual. The difference between this house and the others was the sheer intensity of the feeling. When entering a location, you usually could tell it was haunted due to the emotions you picked up on.

First of all, there would be way too many, feeling as if you were in a crowded street rather than an empty house.

Secondly, no matter what feeling there was - of a spirit or a residual haunting - there was a layer of grief, sadness, or pain floating above it all. It was hard to explain, but it was almost as if no matter the emotion you picked up on, there was a layer over top of it, a veil of anguish covering all. 

This house, felt as if you entered an ice bath.

It was intense and strong, the light feeling that you'd come to associate with the dead surging up through your veins in intense amounts. The coldness of the spiritual atmosphere so extreme, it caused a physical chill to rise through your bones. The change from so drastic, You almost stumbled walking through the door. 

Nate noticed. he knew all your quirks by now, and the shiver that racked your body the moment you entered took him by surprise. The shock, quickly vanished when he realized that whatever the intensity he felt in the house, you felt a hundred times over. 

He moved to stand behind you, slipping off his jacket and draping it over your form. He couldn't tell if you were cold, if it was the shift, or both, but he hoped that it would give you a sense of comfort no matter what.

You jumped a little when he did so, startled out of the light trance you fell in, trying to pinpoint exactly where in the house the feelings originated. You turned, smiling up at him as you pulled the jacket tighter around yourself. 

Unlike the boys, this was your first time in the house. you'd opted out of the tours earlier that day, having a sudden urge to stay out of the home... only wanting to stay in there for as little as you had to.

You were able to brush it off easily, Sam and Colby were so interested in your "gifts" that they quickly agreed when you told them the reason you didn't want to go with them on the tour was so you could test your abilities later, seeing if you could figure it out with no prior knowledge. 

Soon, all the boys had entered the room, including Colby who was currently operating the camera. 

"So Y/N" Sam spoke, rubbing his hands together with a slight smile on his face, "What do ya' think so far?"

"Well," you sighed, bouncing slightly on the balls of your feet, using it as a way to release the feeling of the excess energies surrounding you, "It's a very strong feeling, not like anything I've ever felt before." your eyebrows crinkled slightly, trying to figure out the best way to explain it exactly. "You know when like, you have an overload of feelings? and you can't tell if you are angry or sad or upset?" the boys all nodded. "it's like that, but heavier and darker, it's almost suffocating if I'm honest." you laughed off the last bit, hoping to dispel the intense looks from the other boys.

"Yeah, that makes sense." Colby nodded, "The house is known to have a particularly dark feeling associated with it."

"Yeah, yeah, I could even feel it when we were just doing the tour earlier," Seth added. 

Sam, meanwhile, just looked incredibly excited about the whole endeavor. As previously explained, he was probably the most interested in your abilities and was excited whenever something happened with them. "Well, in that case anywhere you think we should check out?" 

You laughed softly, "Well, I don't really know anything about the layout of the home or which room is which," you trailed off walking across the room and toward a doorway, approaching the stairs, "but I'm thinking upstairs? I don't know, it seems to be stronger? I guess? the closer I get to them." 

You were still facing the stairs, so you'd yet to see the wide-eyed looks from all the boys-- well, all save for Nate. He'd gotten used to it spending more time with you and knew how good you were at figuring things like this out. So, while all the boys looked surprised he just stood there, looking incredibly smug and proud. 

"I don't know" you shrugged, always one to doubt things like this. After all, it could just be your nerves tainting whatever you thought you were sensing, "I could be wrong though."

"No, no you're right" Sam rushed excitedly, looking at the door, "The killer would've come in here" he walked over standing beside you, "and would've immediately gone up these steps." 

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

It was clear after a bit more information was revealed to you why Nate was acting so strange in this house, and it was all because of one particular suspect who was said to be around the house, Reverend Kelly.  

Usually, while the boys were talking about the facts and explaining details to the viewers, you would be able to wander a little. You couldn't see or hear spirits speak like other mediums, but you were able to pick up on emotions.

So, you would take this little bit of time to follow these emotions around the house until you found the specific spot they came from. You'd also use your knowledge of such emotions and energies to help the boys with where to investigate first, and where to steer clear from. However, it didn't seem like you would be doing that tonight.

You tried to walk off almost immediately after you'd gained your bearings from the initial energy shift, trying to walk up the stairs as Sam continues to explain the story in the first room of the house. You were quickly stopped by Nate, who just shook his head as he pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you from behind, chest pressed against your back as you both faced Sam. 

You looked upward, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "What are you doing?" you whispered, "I was just going to go check things out" You cut yourself off when you saw the grimace on his face, "Is something wrong?" 

He would've explained it all to you then since you hadn't heard earlier, but he decided against it, knowing that they'd get to it when they were upstairs in the kid's room. The explanation there would be a million times better than whatever quick filler he could give to you then while Sam was explaining the main story of the home. So instead, he simply shook his head, "You'll hear about it later."

And hear about it later you did. When the group migrated upstairs, you understood perfectly.

It all made sense why Nate wanted to keep you in his sights at all times, why he always seemed to be hugging you from behind, or wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

The Reverend was far from holy and was one of the most corrupt ministers you'd ever had the displeasure of learning about. To sum it up, he had a love for women and a history of doing anything to quench his lust. 

You, just so happened to be the only woman in the house. 

If it was even possible, your stomach dropped further than it already was and you felt sicker than you already had.

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

A few minutes later, the summary tour for the viewers was over and you all gathered in a room to begin the investigation, the EMF pump turned on and equipment ready to go. 

The spirits seemed ready to communicate as well, seeing as things started going off before the camera was ever rolling. Namely, the toy you all found in the laundry basket and the cat ball placed in the closet. 

"Can I request something insane for later?" you asked, watching as each piece of equipment by the closet seemed to go off, "Can we try the Estes method in the closet later tonight?" 

Everyone turned, all the boys looking at you like you were crazy. 

"Yeah... I don't know about that-" Colby spoke up, apprehension clear in his voice as Sam and Seth nodded along. 

"We were just talking about how dangerous that closet has been" Nate chimed in cutting off the others. 

"Well to be fair... that was because they admitted they were trying to provoke it" you shrugged, "who knows, we might get something good. especially since it seems to be pretty active in the past."

Nate looked wary, his lips pulled in a tight wince unsure of what to say, "I don't know..."

"I mean I'll do it" you spoke nonchalantly looking at the rest of the boys, "Just thought it may be a good idea." 

Then the cat ball in the closet went off.

"Looks like they agree" Colby laughed unsure of the situation, and quite frankly a little freaked out. The cat balls usually didn't go off at all, but they seemed to be going off constantly here and they barely even started. 

Then the REM pod in the doorway also started going off. 

"It's pointing toward the ball" Colby shouted, quickly whipping the camera back and forth, showing the clear path the equipment was starting to make. 

You were beginning to regret offering to sit in that closet, senses diluted, and in the dark for that Estes session later. 

"Should we put it in the closet-" Sam began to ask, stopping himself short and looking back at all of you with wide eyes, "it just changed directions" 

"Do you think it wants us to follow it?"

Sam moved to make a step toward the device and it immediately stopped.  

"Dude it stopped as soon as you said it" Seth spoke, equal parts excitement and astonishment in his voice. 

Nate just stood there, smiling in disbelief and rubbing his forehead with one arm as the other was wrapped tightly around your waist. his grip tightened slightly each time a piece of equipment went off. 

"Oh my god! It wants us to go upstairs!" Sam yelled, realisation strung across his features, "Johnny literally said-"

"Right now?"

"Johny said that 90% of the activity happens upstairs."

"You said do you want us to follow it..."

"That's the only time it left the room," you spoke over the boys dragging Nate behind you as you approached the doorway, "it's telling us to follow it, so I think we should go while it wants to talk to us."

"If there's something here, we're goin"

"We're listening"

You led the group, Sam and Colby tailing the back.

You made your way up the stairs, no real destination in your mind other than 'up'. At the sight of a room not that far ahead, your first thought was to go there... until you felt something guiding you elsewhere. 

You tilted your head, pivoting slightly away from that room and walking further down the hall. The air felt more electric here and it only seemed to get stronger the more you progressed down the hall. You recoiled at a sharp chill that went down your spine.

This room. This is the one to go to next. 

You turned, facing Nate outside the room, cutting him off before he could ask the question you already knew he would ask, "I'm fine, just a weird feeling" you shrugged off, "Anyway, what's this room? Is it important?" 

He was smirking when he realized where you'd lead them, "Are you sure you didn't do any research before?" He walked past you, entering the unfinished room, "Babe this is the attic"

He spoke with so much emphasis and with so little explanation you swore he was making fun of you. Like, 'Oh wow, of all the places in the haunted murder building you brought us to the attic, not you know, the place of the crime.' 

Which you totally understood. You weren't quite sure why it felt so weird in the attic either. Maybe it was because it was an older house and falling through a modern home's attic was a legitimate possibility. 

You crossed your arms over your chest in irritation, adding in a dramatic eye roll for effect as your boyfriend continued to hop around the unfurnished room. "Yeah, I see that Nate. The lack of real walls and crummy floors really sell that. Come on, let's just go to one of the rooms or something-"

"No, babe" he moved forward, grabbing your arm and pulling you into the attic space, "This is where they think the killer was hiding."

Colby entered the attic after the two of you, the rest of the group being slightly behind the two of you. The tree of you searching the space with the help of your phone's flashlights while Sam and Seth set up the equipment on the landing. 

You had ventured to a further back part of the attic when Sam called from outside the door, the faint sound of the REM pod accompanied his words "Yo guys!" 

Nate and Colby were closer to the door and entered the hall quicker than you could from the back. 

Sam saw you coming toward the door to leave but motioned for you to wait a minute gesturing down at the music box, which was facing into the attic. You understood immediately, stepping to the side out of the range of the doorway.

You were still pretty far back in the attic and it would take you a second to reach the door. It needed to be tested now, and it would be much easier to test if a spirit was actually messing with the equipment if you didn't run the risk of accidentally setting it off or decalibrating the device as you exited the room.  

As soon as the music box was turned on the music began to play alongside the REM pod.

"It's pointing to the attic!" Colby exclaimed, showing the bright green light facing the doorway through the camera.

"The theory he could've been in the attic" Seth rushed with wide eyes.

Nate looked toward the camera to elaborate, voice raised a little to make sure you could also hear the information from the other side of the wall, "So this is one of the areas the killer might have been hiding. It's either here or the barn."

"If the killer was in the attic can you make one of these devices stop?"

The two devices dwindled, both completely stopping after a few minutes. 

You didn't hear any of the conversations, only being able to make out a few muffled words from where you stood to make sure you didn't accidentally trigger the device. The only thing you heard clearly was Nate explaining what he'd already told you. 

But, at the same time that Sam had asked for the spirit to turn off the devices if he was in the attic, you started hearing a different form of communication. A steady series of knocks on the wood panel behind your head. 

If you'd known any better, you would've realized the pattern in which the taps came. four, one, three, one. over and over.

Which, just so happened to be the series for the word 'here' in Morse code. 

It was after you heard the faint noise of the equipment stop that you spoke up. "C-can I come out now?" 

"Yeah, sorry about that Y/N"

Nate stuck his head in the doorway, sticking out his arm to help you out. It took him all of half a second to recognize the slight panic on your face and the white-knuckled grip you held on the sleeves of his jacket- which you still wore. "You alright?"

"Uh" you spoke louder so everyone could hear, "I don't really know what you guys were talking about, but there was some pretty constant- uh- knocking in there..."

"Oh my god- you're joking-"

"No shot"

"Are you serious" 

You simply nodded, glancing between the four of them until Sam decided to fill you in, "Y/N... we just asked it if the killer was in the attic."

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

For the next several minutes, you and the boys tried to come up with reasonable explanations for the equipment to be going off like it had been. 

After confirming that there was no way to debunk it, the group concluded that the equipment was guiding you all on a tour, retracing the steps the killer made. 

At least, until you made it to the kid's bedroom, where none of the equipment was going off at all. 

Colby turned to the REM pod placed on one of the beds, "Do you want us to leave?" 

and for the first time in that room, a piece of equipment went off. 

Sam stood staring at the device, "And look where it's pointing"

"Outside."

None of you freaked out, all of you were shocked into silence. Five minutes of trying to communicate in this room, and it only went off when you mentioned leaving.

Sam moved to collect the equipment when Seth spoke up, "I really think we should do something in the attic"

You nodded, pointing at him, "Yeah, yeah I definitely agree"

"if the killer was waiting in the attic, he was waiting there for a long time. If this activity is residual, he's bound to still have an imprint in the attic. What if we can talk to him via a spirit box or something?" 

"Yeah," Nate nodded along, "Plus that's the first place Y/N went to"

"It feels very static-y in there if that makes any sense" you added, "I don't know how to really explain it. I agree with Seth though, if we're going to get anything else tonight, I have a really good feeling it's going to be in the attic." 

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

Colby was the first to go under. 

The minute he put the headphones on, a noise came from downstairs. One which sounded like the front door slowly swinging open. 

Your head whipped up, wide eyes flicking between the others. You didn't have to ask, their own wide eyes answered just fine, but you couldn't stop the words from leaving your mouth, "Did you hear that..?"

Your boyfriend nodded, reaching to you next to him and grabbing one of your knees, which had begun to shake. "What is that?"

"Is someone here?"

"If you're here, can you make yourself known?"

Silence.

"We have the geophone-"

"Mystery"

"If anyone"

"Is here" 

"Oh, it sounds like-" Sam tried to speak, constantly being cut off by Colby, speaking on behalf of the spirit box, "it sounds like two people talking to each other"

"Family"

"Yeah, it's sounding like a conversation"

"Me"

"Record that"

The four of you shot up at that. 

"No way" you whispered

"We're not even asking any questions" Sam uttered in pure disbelief, "are we talking to anybody in specific?"

"Watching"

"Are you watching us?"

"One flight"

"One flight of stairs?"

"Now"

"Do you want us to go downstairs?"

"Fired"

[Cutting out this portion because... well... above disclaimer. If you watched the video you probably know what this is, it just feels wrong to add and makes me sick to think about.]

"End this"

"I don't know what you're talking about-"

"Is he with you?"

"Is who with me?"

"Me"

A door slammed downstairs, shocking you to the point that you would've fallen from your chair if Nate hadn't grabbed you. 

Seth jumped as well, hitting Colby to get him out of the trance and fill him in on what was going on. 

"What?" Colby repeated over and over, his friends were all freaking out, and he had no clue what was going on. 

"The door slammed" you breathed out.

"What?" he exclaimed, looking between all of you, "What door?"

"I don't know" Sam panicked, "the one downstairs, It's on camera, I actually don't know."

"It could've been the front door?" you guessed 

"No." Colby shot down, shaking his head, "Nah, I closed that one."

Sam and Nate went down to investigate and figure out what could've caused the slam, you, Seth, and Colby staying up in the attic. 

[ Also cutting this, nothing special, just pretend reader was just sitting along for the ride when Seth and Colby heard the stuff on the stairs. We're cutting to when they all go downstairs to the last room and Colby goes back to the estes method. ]

You shivered, arms wrapping around yourself as you rock back and forth, "I don't like this room" you stated, "like I genuinely feel like I'm going to be sick in here-"

"That's about right"

"Sweet." you huffed, "Fucking love that."

"I think it was right here"

"No way!"

"What? You're kidding"

"Cold"

"You think what was right here?"

"Please"

"Explain what was right here"

"You walk away"

The second Colby finished the sentence, the REM pod began to go off, pointing out the door. 

Your eyes widened, "Do you think the spirit was telling a different spirit to leave?" you looked quickly between the boys, "And thats why the REM pod is going off and pointing away, out the door?"

Seth nodded slowly, "Yeah... yeah that's definately a possibility."

"Who's talking to us right now?" Sam rushed, "Who are you? Can you give us a name? Anything a sign?"

"You said you think he was here, who is he?"

"That would be able to get away with it"

Colby yelled, that was one of the longest and most clear sentences any of you had ever gotten. Even crazier was how much sense it made for the conversation the rest of you were having. 

"Who would be the guy that would be able to get away with it?" Sam pushed, stepping closer to Colby just to get cut off by said man.

"Lies"

"Screaming"

"Trust me"

"Give us a name-" Sam insisted.

"Please give us a name"

"-He said... who would be the person who could get away with it?" 

"Remember"

"We're remembering" Seth added, voice calm as he could manage, "we remember you."

"Do we know this name?"

"Do we already know who you are?" you spoke up, "Are you telling us to remember because we already know?" you had a sneaking suspicion of what was coming through, and you really hoped it was wrong.

Otherwise, you're really beginning to regret volunteering to do the method in the closet. 

"That's the reason why"

"What's the reason why? What was the reason for these murders?"

"Train"

"Were you on the train?"

"Implications of..."

"Implications of the train?" Sam spoke, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, in the end deciding just to ignore that for now. "Who are we speaking with?"

"yes please tell us who you are."

"You know"

"no, we don't" Sam insisted. 

"I-" you began, only for Colby to interrupt.

"You know"

"I think..." you whispered, waiting for Colby to interrupt you again. when he didn't, you continued, "I think I know."

"Good job"

"Oh my god-"

"I think it's-"

"No, no"

"Mk" you spoke, fake cheeriness dripping from your tone to hide the discomfort flooding your body, "That's cool. I'm not gonna say it then."

"Paul Miller" Sam spoke, trying to solve it instead, "was he the murderer?"

"Impossible"

"Was it the Reverend George Kelly or was it something-"

"Kill me"

"He was going"

"How would you feel if we took off the cover to the mirror?"

"This one?"

"Yes this mirror"

"We can"

Sam stepped forward, a hand on the sheet to pull it off, "Ok were going to."

"Run"

"I had to run"

"You had to leave the scene of the crime?"

"No choice"

"It was worth it"

"That gave me chills" you spoke, shock rendering you almost breathless at this point

"What was worth it? The murders?

"Who are you?"

"You know"

The session started to run on the lengthy side, so to be safe, you pulled Colby out to converse. 

"Did any of that make sense?"

"Yes, you kept saying 'you know him' and you kept saying stuff about railroads and trains."

"Speaking of 'you know him'" Seth began, turning to face you, "what were you thinking?"

"Oh right!" Sam exclaimed, "You said you had an idea of who it was but Colby kept cutting you off" he reiterated for the viewers as well as the man who hadn't been able to experience half of the conversation. 

You looked up between all of them from where you sat on the bed, shrinking in on yourself a little, "I just-" you stuttered, "I just have a really good feeling it's Kelly."

"That would make sense why he kept saying no" Nate spoke, "he was a reverend and was probably ashamed of his sins for doing it. Yeah, he was cryptic as hell when he left and ended up confessing to it all, but he was still a preacher... maybe that's why he was saying 'you know' but never actually wanting you to say it out loud."

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

Next, was the part that you had slowly begun to get less and less excited for as the night went on. Now it was your turn to do the Estes method, sitting criss-cross on the floor of the closet. 

"This is your last chance-"

"Put out the lamp"

"Do you want us to turn out the light?"

"He's here"

"Who's here?"

Nate thought back, remembering all the times you'd offhand mentioned something to him though the night, and that was that you thought it was playing tricks on you all. It enjoyed how your group would follow it aimlessly through the home and freak out when it set things off, you felt like it was watching you, messing with you, and playing sick a game of tag with you all. So, he decided to ask the question you'd been secretly asking all night long. 

"Are you messing with us?" 

"Thanks for being here"

"It's fucking with us."

"All over"

"All over the house?"

"Mhm"

Sam jumped, "The cat ball!" he yelled pointing to the closet, "The catball behind her just went off" 

You're head popped up and you shook your head a bit, "That wasn't funny at all." you rushed, the boys all began freaking out, thinking the box was saying that when you spoke again "This isn't the box by the way- but I swear to god Nate if you pull my hair again while I'm doing this shit, I'm breaking up with you."

The boys really began freaking out then. All were at least 3 feet from you at the time. 

"You'll see why I'm so excited"

"Oh my god" Sam yelled, "It never says full sentences like that-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! And to have so many all in the same night?" 

You pulled the jacket tighter around yourself, "It's so fucking cold" you muttered.

"Wait-" Nate gasped, "there was something-" he turned to the closet, "are you behind her?" 

"Behind"

"Did you commit these murders because you were a pervert?"  

you ground your teeth, "Nate I swear to fucking god" you hissed, "don't pull my hair-" your back quickly straightened, hearing more words flood through the speakers. 

"You said this already"

You spoke in a sing-song voice, doing your best to imitate the intonation of the voice you heard through the headphones

"At the beginning"

"The who are you" Sam insisted once more, starting to get irritated by the sheer number of times he'd asked the same question.

"You know"

"I am"

"I'm the Reverend"

Nate dove forward, looking back to the rest of the group now that he was inches in front of you ready to rip the headphones from your head.

"Are we done?" he rushed, eyes wide in urgency, "Can we be done? Can I pull her out? I do not want her sitting in the closet with him behind her- especially when it's pulling her hair and stuff-" 

The boys all began nodding, Colby the first to speak, "Yeah, yeah dude, get her out of there like now."

That's all your boyfriend needed to lean forward and take the device off your head, pulling your body from the floor and as far from the closet as he could manage. 

You glared at him as he did so, slapping his shoulder once "That wasn't funny. Don't fucking do that-"

"Babe" he grabbed your shoulders, looking you straight in the eyes, "I didn't touch you. I swear." 

"Yeah" Sam spoke up behind the two of you, "We were all like, several feet from you." 

"Yeah Y/N, no one touched you" Colby gestured to the camera, "We can show you the footage if you'd like."

You were freaked out before, but with that information as well as everything they filled you in on, you were ready to leave. You didn't care about finishing the investigation and you didn't care about any more information they could possibly gain by going any further. 

The boys, for the sake of closure and for the sake of answers for the viewers, wanted to continue. You respected it, but you couldn't force yourself to do it anymore and to be completely honest, you were terrified. 

Doing investigations with your friends was fun, but this was one you couldn't finish. Not when you felt this sick to your stomach. Not when you potentially had a creepy pervy Reverend standing behind you in a closet pulling your hair. Not when you felt as targeted as you did. Not when you could tell whatever the spirit was, was having fun running all of you in circles. 

So instead, while the boys tried the Estes session one last time in the master bedroom, you had taken the keys to Nate's car and was driving back to the hotel. You'd brought some sage on the trip- not too sure how to use it, but you had a feeling it may be necessary for this little road trip of investigation videos.

You don't know why you hadn't brought it with you earlier, but you felt like leaving to get it was more than worth it in this scenario. 

You began by smudging yourself, then the hotel room just in case you brought anything with you. Then, you walked to the parking lot, smudging Nate's car as well. The people who saw you probably thought you were insane, but you couldn't care less at the moment. 

Better safe than sorry. 

When you deemed everything properly smudged, you plopped back into the driver's seat, sage bundle in the cupholder, on the way back to the Villisca House to do the same to the boys.