#gotta get an MRI
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The doctor has delivered a verdict, my jaw situation is "hmm. Weird."
#gotta get an MRI#i guess youre supposed to be able to open your jaw 35 mm at least but I can only open it 20 mm woops
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My doctor: Hey yeah that's not normal I don't think it's an issue with your hip
Me: Oh?
My doctor: It's an issue with your spine
Me: OH
#Literally the first thing he said was 'You shouldn't be in this much pain from a labrum tear'#'Yeah I'm p sure it has to do with your back'#Me: Everything makes sense now......#This actually adds up bc I've always had shitty back issues. Lmao#Luckily I don't need surgery!! Unluckily I need to get another MRI! Kill me! :)#If the last MRI didn't bankrupt me this one DEFINITELY will#Also he did say I have a weak hip so I gotta do physical therapy#We'll see how that goes;;#Right now I'm fine bc I haven't even been billed for the first MRI yet. But I know as soon as I get the bill#I will be a HOT mess#Not looking forward to that#Anyway I'm glad this doctor seems to know what he's talking about. And from the get go too#Can't believe it took this fucking long to narrow it down to 'possible spine/back issue' tho#Godddd. I'm so tired#He prescribed me some heavy anti-inflammatory drugs so hopefully that helps with the pain a bit#Lies down#I need a nap bro. Lol#Shima speaks
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Gritting my teeth and saying “it’s not wasteful or silly or dumb to do what your doctor told you to do” while booking an appointment with a specialist who has a double MD and PhD, 19 journal publications, and several awards for being a really good neurosurgeon
#wish she had referred me to someone else I most likely don’t deserve or need this level of care#but hey maybe I’ll get an MRI#personal#gotta say this for New York if you have insurance and time insanely good medical care is crazy accessible
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The past month or so has been a HILARIOUS trainwreck - My new job essentially went bankrupt after my FIRST day, I accidentally grew Datura on my balcony, I have an elusive MRI appointment that keeps getting pushed around, tried to get the limited Hozier vinyl but they only got a payment method I don't have, my friend nearly got snuck up on by a TORNADO cause we were busy playing Fortnite, and I STILL need to fix some of my ReShade presets -
#1) yes my job is done and i worked ONE shift. hoping to at least still get paid KFGDHSKSFGH#2) got a pot of soil on my balcony that i was planning to grow some lavender in but it started to get a random seedling and i was curious#turns out its a Datura plant. It blossomed really pretty and now I just gotta be careful with The Mega Poison Fruit#3) do NOT ask me about the MRI i will chew those MRI techs like a dog toy#4) i was so excited about my little vinyl i was willing to give ALL my money for it MAN.#5) THEY ARE OKAY!! it just is really in character that this would happen to us. whole tornado.#best thing that happened to me this past month is the new EPIC saga being released#lila post#little life update for the ones that wondered where ive been T-T
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Okay team…
Going on a hiatus for all writing and for the most part tumblr, might still be some lurking and I’ll have my queue going butttttt
Had my first physical therapy session today, and it’s a lot worse than I was thinking it was, I have three sessions a week rn and have to completely change my set up
I now have to use a standing desk (I got an under desk treadmill to go with it! Gonna be back in marathon shape by year end my dudes), luckily no surgery is expected! Woooo
I might try to write some but between work and being on pain killers and muscle relaxers nothing I’m outputting is any good, I’m no bukowski… or Hemingway…. Or any of the other drunk writers lol
Really sad cause I had some fun stuff in the pipeline
Probably going to be a little rusty when I get back into it buttttt
I vibe with my therapist, an older dude who kept calling me sugar, made my southern ass feel at home lol, it was funny he was attempting to massage a bit but I kept inadvertently twitching he said my nerves are in high gear and asked how I’d been doing this for 3 week lmao (remember when I had pneumonia for 3 weeks and was effectively just ignoring it lmao see a pattern here)
I had my Pokemon backpack, and shoes, and a black Pokemon shirt and he was telling me his son was really into it, and I’m like cool cool thinking he’s talking about like a 6 year old, nope 23, I felt more comfortable after that, his son apparently just got back from Japan
He gave me a bunch of home work and told me baby steps, lol not something I’m good at
But he was really understanding of my work and the fact that I can’t just not work lol (ngl my company wouldn’t make it a month without me)
Idk my dudes I might be a bit high rn
Don’t expect anything exciting from me.
But feel free to shoot me messages on discord or dm here or ask for my email like it’s 2006, I might be a little high tho lol
I love you all, I’ll be here when I can, also don’t turn 30, those fuckers weren’t lying when they say your body starts falling apart!
I just have to be okay for Nashville cause my ass is going to see the Dresden dolls come hell or high water,
#ummmm#bunny talks#bunny whines about her latest medical issue#and having another specialist#also prolly gonna get an mri next week#and I gotta get an unrelated ct scan for that random thing in my neck#that’s back again for the record
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Looks like my loser liver is staying intact. I have two small lesions on my liver--which is not as scary as it sounds! They're called hemangiomas and are basically clumps of blood vessels. As it is, considering that I have no symptoms and am otherwise in good health, they're nothing for me to be worried about.
But, at the same time, it's not a good idea to go cutting around them. And it also doesn't make my liver the best choice for the recipient.
Next step is to start the process of kidney donation. Which I'm cautiously optimistic about, because the scans didn't find anything wrong with those guys. I guess, in one way, it's selfishly good news, because kidney donation is significantly safer, but it's still a huge bummer. Ah, well. I'll just have to thinking about kidney puns instead of liver puns.
#the organ trail#what's a girl gotta do to get someone to carve out her organs?#silver lining#i got a bunch of testing that i never would have gotten otherwise at my age#and it's not bad to have confirmation that that my heart and lungs are completely normal#and my liver is functioning fine#(i'll have to get them checked in a year#because there's a *small* chance that they could grow and *if* they grow#there's a *small* chance they could cause problems#and even then the treatment is simple)#getting even more tmi#i found out i have to get a mammogram because the mri found something#which again is almost certainly nothing to be worried about#and that on one hand sucks#but it's way better than it being there and me not knowing it
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Halloween costume hint:
(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)
#i make no guarantees of finishing in time for halloween tho im going thru a lot rn#i DID finish a second pair of Scream yarn socks today tho!!#i just wanted to give my fingers a little break from knitting socks but i have other halloween sock yarn i plan on working on#(november is halloween 2 for me)#but yeah i saw a sample of yarn using this type of seamless cast on (provisional cast on / circular tubular cast on) last night...#...while half asleep and was immediately like Oh. I HAVE to do that costume idea now.#i flubbed the crochet part bc the way i did it made the stitches twisted when i knitted it...#...and i had to pull out every crochet stitch one by one. lol. but at least i know for next time how i gotta crochet it to be open stitches#also i knit backwards (mirrored) so i was surprised i managed to figure out the tutorial on the first go...#...bc the person filming described their actions instead of just showing it so i only needed to listen. it makes a world of difference to me#anyway. now that i got that started i have been shaking in pain all day i gotta try n shower before it gets too late#apparently my new back xrays show that my back does have an issue. but not on the spot thats hurting lmao.#so i get to do an mri and see a back specialist ughhh. also the pharmacy is refusing to fill pain meds for me. it sucks.#AND i finally got a physical therapy appointment.... for the middle of december.... guys i injured my back and#....have been trying to get in to PT since fucking MAY. its OCTOBER.#like fuck my life man i can barely fucking walk. i can barely take care of myself. the pain had been SO bad since i recently reinjured it#so yeah i gotta try n shower before i pass out from the pain.#knitting#Cori.exe#Image.exe#fiber art#horror#halloween#also like this yarn is the closest i could get to colour accuracy that i have in my yarn bin and i only have 1 skein of it which is perfect#bc it means i get to use up probably the whole skein and it makes a difference in the amount of yarn i need to use out of my bin lol#especially bc what other use am i ever going to get out of one skein of yarn? nothing but socks take one skein.#my worst yarn habit is seeing a cool yarn and then buying just one or two skeins. like thats fine for a hat or scarf...#...but i need to learn to knit and crochet more things. id like to make a sweater at least once in my life lmao#((sweater yarn gets so expensive tho bc u need so much. and we're back to me wanting to reduce my yarn stash))#personal
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at my skinniest ever (55kgs) and it really is what they say nothing tastes as good as skinny feels
#cant wait until my ankle gets better to go get an mri of my spine and finish with my physical therapy#i have ten more appointments for october and also gotta do some acupuncture on the ass area depending on how the mri scan comes back#and then im gonna hit the gym#i already found the guy who does muscle building trainings for people with back problems#im excited#My ass is a little too flat for my liking like i look like a plank from the back its crazy#and im so lanky#and weak#literally have issues opening those 5l water bottles at work its pathetic#but by new years im getting everything in ordnung
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got a good grade in 'not having something wrong with my brain that opticians can detect' and also in 'buying bananas' (not from the optician) 👍
#me @ neurologists you wanna put me in an mri machine soooooo bad... you wanna look at images of my brain sooo much....#it won't cost you sooooo much money it'll be sooooooo great and fun and wonderful for all of us i prommy 🥺 (<- lying)#anyway. also got some goop for my eyes 👍 and did i mention the bananas. non-messed-up pancake coming my way hopefully wahoooooooo!#LOVE to be ill and not be able to get one million tests done. mris should be free and you should just be able to be like 'hey i gotta brain#problem can u check real quick to see if there's anything messed up in there. okay? cool thanks i'll be there tomorrow'#and then we all live happily ever after. i don't wanna trial and error for one million years i wanna do all the tests FIRST and THEN#try stuff. sorry.#anyway. i'm so patient and also patient.#however AM really grateful for my optician. extremely thorough and patient and explanatory. best dr for real.#and also for real i'm also grateful for my gp and also for her consulting a neurologist for me. and i'll be grateful for the trial and#error too. i just wish it was easier for all of us. if 'money' wasn't a thing life could be a dream.
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MRIs are fun because you tell a doctor "hey I get headaches and my brain isn't working right" and they go "ok please get in a machine that makes horrible loud noises and vibrates your skull for like 45 minutes"
#But you get cool pictures of your brain at the end so that's kinda neat#I hope none of these funny pictures are saying anything bad ahahahahaha....#I gotta wait for the doctor to look at them..#Got an appointment in a week#:')#Like in truth I am very thankful for the MRI I just. Need some time to recover from it augh
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Feeling like this rn honestly
#gotta get up in a few hours and then i have an mri#and it is also freezing in here cuz the heat won't work#so its making it harder to sleep than it normally is lmao#sad!
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oughhhhh medical system.
#i do not have Medications. i do not have Treatments. but i have Bills. why the Bills but not the Treatments. i called. i emailed.#today i have been in the drs office for 42 minutes waiting to be seen#I haven't been able to fill a narcolepsy med (critical to my ability to exist) since jan 20#i made 2 phone calls to insurance and 2 to the doctor and 2 to the pharmacy and noooooo drugs for me#gotta call again today#prior auth expired and nobody has fixed this yet or notified me#until i went to the pharmacy in person and asked#when i sprained my wrist and needed a brace the technician forming the brace kept taking his hand off it to text on his apple watch#this only takes 2 minutes dude. please. it can wait#the doctor couldn't show me the results of the mri and called me in for an appointment to tell mw there was nothing wrong.#this could have been a voicemail but instead it took an hour and also cost money#didn't even answer things like 'which tendon is affected' when i asked#also a different doctor misbilled me for an extra $135 and i had to make several emails and four phone calls and it's still not fixed#but they charged the card on file while I had an active dispute of the charge and haven't refunded it#this is just so exhausting!#and i have really good insurance thru work and no life-threatening conditions and i have enough meds stockpiled to last a little longer.#and YET#yet it still makes me want to get crushed in a hydraulic press a little bit#that a med I have used for five years that previously had a multi-year prior auth can just disappear off the face of the earth#and no one warned me#no notification about the prior auth about to expire#no alert that i needed to renew it#I didn't even know they could expire#boy i die. shit boy
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sooooooo good at avoiding thinking about the most embarrassing element of my daddy issues atm (having multiple more comfortable blankets to use including ones i've made but my stupid glenn close-inspired quilt is the one i prefer to cozy up in)
#absolutely fucking humiliating. not the best dad on the show not even the most comforting dad#at least if i'd made a henry quilt it would be in my favorite colors with natural prints#but no i am constitutionally incapable of picking anything but the stupidest way to cope with problems#i have such a cute one i made with bee patterns and hexagons and bright colors but no it's gotta be the ones with guy fieri flame patterns#shut up myth#anyway guess whos got an appointment with a neurologist in january ✌️🤟#maybe when i get the mri they'll figure out how to make me normal
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Can I PLEASE have one day without experiencing pain
#me when it's really painful for me to stand and walk right now and i've also got a huge headache#but i've gotta get up and do things because god forbid someone else wash the dishes when i'm struggling to stand#the upcoming mri and physiotherapy better be useful because my leg is getting worse and worse at a pace too rapid#thorn talks
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CRUNCHY CHIP CONTENT
#Context: crk updated#They brought back the cake tower but it's. Different.#Where is pastry. Where did she go. If I don't see her later I will be extremely sad and disappointed :(#cookie run#uh sorry I've been just like vanishing from tumblr even with the spooky's hyperfix that's kinda been pretty tame-#Like. I had to get an mri though so that's something-#Well uh. Alright so gotta say I'm at least happy the tower stuff is still religious rnjdjdjdnd gotta keep the theming together-#I'll probably actually post about it whenever I actually like. Get all the cutscenes. Do heavy lore analysis. Whatever.#I always come back to sentient cookiesposting huh#These fubkign cookies man-
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Damn I knew taking that pill at 1pm was gonna fuck me sleep wise. I was correct. Rip
#On the bright side I got all of that done except for the cover letter part#Like that's a long ass application. And it requires a cover letter too lol. You gotta type everything out in the boxes too#No uploading. Like damn ur making me work for this lol it's fine but. Woof#I don't feel confident in writing cover letters but I'll do it tomorrow so I can get it in. See where it leads#I also got final word that I can do this study that pays 75 per visit you get MRIs and sometimes u do tasks while they're doing it#Like fuck yeah I'll do that. Sounds rad. Observe my brain#All the ones I've had have been loud AF but I'll deal money is money#I'm not thriving but I AM surviving. That's something right? (Said while looking at myself in the bathroom mirror gripping the sink)#🪶.exe
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